# Going alone to observe Domestic Violence AAT Program tonight



## inge (Sep 20, 2009)

How does that work? Participate in the counseling, I mean. When Tess and I went to Sandy Hook with the child psychiatry teams, I was just the lady who held the leash. There was a certified psychiatrist doing the counseling and Tess was there to be held and stroked by the kids. How can you participate if you are not a certified counselor?


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

inge said:


> How does that work? Participate in the counseling, I mean. When Tess and I went to Sandy Hook with the child psychiatry teams, I was just the lady who held the leash. There was a certified psychiatrist doing the counseling and Tess was there to be held and stroked by the kids. How can you participate if you are not a certified counselor?


 

Okay, so maybe I made the wrong choice of words. No, I am not a certfied counselor, but sometimes the dog volunteers will say a few things like R.E.A.D. volunteers and ask "Do you think Sparky feels safe?" while the certified counselors will do most of the talking. Volunteers still need to take training even though they aren't actually certified. I hope this clears things up. In the meantime, I am going for my Master's in Human Services. I have only taken one class so far, but hopefully I will be able ot take another one this year.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Last night's visit was awesome! I was in a counseling session with 5 girls around age 10. The subject was self-esteem. The counselor was saying for example if someone labeled you as spoiled, stupid or lazy how would that make you feel. She said that over time, one's self-esteem lowers and therefore it is important to come up with good things about yourself. One girl was so proud to be a science nerd. Words such as cool, funny, awesome, fun, creative were mentioned. One person brought in a lovely Rottwieler named Zoey. She was a big baby! :smooch: She was just like Mercy in temperament. She loved the girls. The lead volunteer had her Welsh Terrier there also. When I menitoned that I had a Golden Retriever, one of the girls gasped. "Ohhh! I'd love to see her!" I can't wait until she gets to.

I too felt like one of the kids being counseled to. I might be 38, educated, knowledgable, wise, full of faith, but deep down, I am a crying hurting 10 year old. I wanted to raise my hand a couple of times. I can really tell that God sent me here. At first I didn't even want to go yesterday evening. I wanted to stay home and hang with my family. I can really relate to these children, since I too still have unresolved hurts from long ago. I am becomming whole though. Once I meet with this life changing pastor a little over 48 hours from now, my life will probably never be the same. My husband has been a new man for a couple of weeks now, and he's more of a pleasure to be around like during our dating days or honeymoon period. When I overcome, I will really be able to effectively reach out to people with Mercy.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

Mercymom, I think this is really a great thing for you to do.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mercy's Mom*



MercyMom said:


> Last night's visit was awesome! I was in a counseling session with 5 girls around age 10. The subject was self-esteem. The counselor was saying for example if someone labeled you as spoiled, stupid or lazy how would that make you feel. She said that over time, one's self-esteem lowers and therefore it is important to come up with good things about yourself. One girl was so proud to be a science nerd. Words such as cool, funny, awesome, fun, creative were mentioned. One person brought in a lovely Rottwieler named Zoey. She was a big baby! :smooch: She was just like Mercy in temperament. She loved the girls. The lead volunteer had her Welsh Terrier there also. When I menitoned that I had a Golden Retriever, one of the girls gasped. "Ohhh! I'd love to see her!" I can't wait until she gets to.
> 
> I too felt like one of the kids being counseled to. I might be 38, educated, knowledgable, wise, full of faith, but deep down, I am a crying hurting 10 year old. I wanted to raise my hand a couple of times. I can really tell that God sent me here. At first I didn't even want to go yesterday evening. I wanted to stay home and hang with my family. I can really relate to these children, since I too still have unresolved hurts from long ago. I am becomming whole though. Once I meet with this life changing pastor a little over 48 hours from now, my life will probably never be the same. My husband has been a new man for a couple of weeks now, and he's more of a pleasure to be around like during our dating days or honeymoon period. When I overcome, I will really be able to effectively reach out to people with Mercy.


Mercy's Mom

So glad that you loved the visit and I'm sure Mercy will, too!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

*Sadly, I am not yet welcome to bring Mercy to this program for now*

I was going to take Mercy on the 23rd of February, but I was notified that since the Domestic Violence Program through Manassas Therapy Dogs is in it's infancy and I didn't take all of my training at the shelter yet and because they don't want their reputation tarnished, they told me not to bring Mercy on the 23rd or any time until further notice. They are trying to expand the program e.g. Court Advocacy. I still took my training class on March 8th and spoke with the director and poured out all of my passions to her. She originally wanted me to share Mercy with the students of the training class on March 15th, but the leader of this program at MTD's end said no. I spoke with the assistant leader at the parade the next day. She was explaining that there were cramped quarters in the classrooms where the dogs assist the kids and that they are looking to expand. I told her I was very much interested still. When I get my certificate, I will be letting the main leader know right away and tell her that I am serious about teaming up. The saga continues. Sighhhh!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

*Here's what I think really happened*

As stated above I tried to get Mercy into the domestic violence program in my area. I was searching through my e-mails about a month and a half ago for the address of one of the senior staff personnel and I saw an e-mail dated February 8th that was meant to serve as a reminder about the appropriate attire which includes a green shirt and khaki slacks. This was not long after I had completed my observation visit on February 4th. I finally put 2 and 2 together. :scratchch I think the lady who was the MTD person in charge of the domestic violence program did not like my appearance, because maybe I had a couple of wrinkles in my khakis! Give me a break! She then most likely told this head person. She sent me the e-mail telling me I could not come the next time on February 6th. Hmmmm. In her e-mail she stated that the director of the domestic violence program did not feel comfortable having people who were untrained to visit. When I was fully trained finally in March, the director of the domestic violence personally asked me to come down to demonstrate the benefits of pet therapy to the students in training. But then, like I said in my previous post, the MTD chairperson still said no in March, because they did not want to tarnish their hard earned reputation. Aha! Caught ya! She probably concocted up that explanation in the e-mail on Feb. 6th because she was afraid to accept me into the program because "OOOOH! I'm too improper for what's required to visit this sensitive population!" I am very analytical, and I can see the connections. I don't fit in. What else is new? :--smirk:They are subtly excluding me from the domestic violence program because a couple of wrinkles makes me unworthy of visiting there!? I agree in dressing professionally and properly, but in my book, compassion trumps wrinkle free pants. Would it even matter to them that I am going for my MA degree in Human Services counseling? Sorry, I had to vent. I knew about this for over a month, and I am just now getting it out. I decided to share, because in another thread I said I might be moving out of the area and a couple of concerned people asked me about the therapy dog involvement where I currently live. I shared about my lack of opportunities to visit hurting children. 

I thought I would explain what really happened in greater detail tonight. These people are kinda snooty, and it seems like they're subtly blowing me off. I might be on the spectrum, but I have a keen way of seeing right through people. I did get to go to the Bull Run Warrior retreat back in June. What's funny was that the chair for the Domestic Violence involvement is also connected through this retreat for wounded soldiers. Not as much risk involved as with vulnerable children I suppose. She seemed happy to see me and Mercy (Maybe my pants were perfectly smooth that time!) 

Okay! End of Rant!

And I'm taking Mercy to a beach on the Chesapeake Bay tomorrow baby!:--big_grin:


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

Totally there loss!!!

I volunteer on an as needed based with Buddy with abused teen boys for the State of NJ. They did not require me to just through hoops. No added classes or training needed due to my present edu. level and experience. They only required a background check which they paid for.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

MercyMom said:


> As stated above I tried to get Mercy into the domestic violence program in my area. I was searching through my e-mails about a month and a half ago for the address of one of the senior staff personnel and I saw an e-mail dated February 8th that was meant to serve as a reminder about the appropriate attire which includes a green shirt and khaki slacks. This was not long after I had completed my observation visit on February 4th. I finally put 2 and 2 together. :scratchch I think the lady who was the MTD person in charge of the domestic violence program did not like my appearance, because maybe I had a couple of wrinkles in my khakis! Give me a break! She then most likely told this head person. She sent me the e-mail telling me I could not come the next time on February 6th. Hmmmm. In her e-mail she stated that the director of the domestic violence program did not feel comfortable having people who were untrained to visit. When I was fully trained finally in March, the director of the domestic violence personally asked me to come down to demonstrate the benefits of pet therapy to the students in training. But then, like I said in my previous post, the MTD chairperson still said no in March, because they did not want to tarnish their hard earned reputation. Aha! Caught ya! She probably concocted up that explanation in the e-mail on Feb. 6th because she was afraid to accept me into the program because "OOOOH! I'm too improper for what's required to visit this sensitive population!" I am very analytical, and I can see the connections. I don't fit in. What else is new? :--smirk:They are subtly excluding me from the domestic violence program because a couple of wrinkles makes me unworthy of visiting there!? I agree in dressing professionally and properly, but in my book, compassion trumps wrinkle free pants. Would it even matter to them that I am going for my MA degree in Human Services counseling? Sorry, I had to vent. I knew about this for over a month, and I am just now getting it out. I decided to share, because in another thread I said I might be moving out of the area and a couple of concerned people asked me about the therapy dog involvement where I currently live. I shared about my lack of opportunities to visit hurting children.
> 
> I thought I would explain what really happened in greater detail tonight. These people are kinda snooty, and it seems like they're subtly blowing me off. I might be on the spectrum, but I have a keen way of seeing right through people. I did get to go to the Bull Run Warrior retreat back in June. What's funny was that the chair for the Domestic Violence involvement is also connected through this retreat for wounded soldiers. Not as much risk involved as with vulnerable children I suppose. She seemed happy to see me and Mercy (Maybe my pants were perfectly smooth that time!)
> 
> ...


 You're not being over analytical nor can you see right threw people.
The people that run these programs don't want people that may invoke their strong religious beliefs. What they need is therapists and funding. That's 1 & 2 on their lists.
They also don't want volunteers to look like they just crawled out of bed either. What kind of message does it send in developing self-esteem for the abused? 
All volunteers are a representative of their program. It's their right to protect their image especially in the program's infancy.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

MercyMom said:


> As stated above I tried to get Mercy into the domestic violence program in my area. I was searching through my e-mails about a month and a half ago for the address of one of the senior staff personnel and I saw an e-mail dated February 8th that was meant to serve as a reminder about the appropriate attire which includes a green shirt and khaki slacks. This was not long after I had completed my observation visit on February 4th. I finally put 2 and 2 together. :scratchch I think the lady who was the MTD person in charge of the domestic violence program did not like my appearance, because maybe I had a couple of wrinkles in my khakis! Give me a break! She then most likely told this head person. She sent me the e-mail telling me I could not come the next time on February 6th. Hmmmm. In her e-mail she stated that the director of the domestic violence program did not feel comfortable having people who were untrained to visit. When I was fully trained finally in March, the director of the domestic violence personally asked me to come down to demonstrate the benefits of pet therapy to the students in training. But then, like I said in my previous post, the MTD chairperson still said no in March, because they did not want to tarnish their hard earned reputation. Aha! Caught ya! She probably concocted up that explanation in the e-mail on Feb. 6th because she was afraid to accept me into the program because "OOOOH! I'm too improper for what's required to visit this sensitive population!" I am very analytical, and I can see the connections. I don't fit in. What else is new? :--smirk:They are subtly excluding me from the domestic violence program because a couple of wrinkles makes me unworthy of visiting there!? I agree in dressing professionally and properly, but in my book, compassion trumps wrinkle free pants. Would it even matter to them that I am going for my MA degree in Human Services counseling? Sorry, I had to vent. I knew about this for over a month, and I am just now getting it out. I decided to share, because in another thread I said I might be moving out of the area and a couple of concerned people asked me about the therapy dog involvement where I currently live. I shared about my lack of opportunities to visit hurting children.
> 
> I thought I would explain what really happened in greater detail tonight. These people are kinda snooty, and it seems like they're subtly blowing me off. I might be on the spectrum, but I have a keen way of seeing right through people. I did get to go to the Bull Run Warrior retreat back in June. What's funny was that the chair for the Domestic Violence involvement is also connected through this retreat for wounded soldiers. Not as much risk involved as with vulnerable children I suppose. She seemed happy to see me and Mercy (Maybe my pants were perfectly smooth that time!)
> 
> ...


I really have a hard time accepting the idea that they didn't want you there because of wrinkles in your slacks. It's really more likely they have already trained, experienced, dog teams that are scheduled to be there. 

If you really want to participate, ask them directly if there is a problem with you or your dog. Find out if there is something you can correct or improve. Anytime you assume you know something, there is a strong chance it is actually something all together different than what you assumed.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

*Contacted Chairperson of Domestic Violence Program*

I actually e-mailed the woman who sent me the message on February 6th about another opportunity in the Domestic Violence program. She may have said there was no room for new people on February 6th, but now with fall coming, I decided I would be brave:samurail:and contact the very woman, who might not even want me there. I am concerned that when I went to the Bull Run Warrior Retreat fundraiser, that she might not have liked something she saw there, since she was also the contact person for that place also. The reason why I suspect that is because the last global e-mail sent out by the communication chairperson was on June 17th. I went to the Bull Run Warrior Retreat on June 21st. Hmmmmm. I'm sorry if I have an overactive imagination, but it might be true that the chairperson was told to take me off the list. My e-mailbax gets full sometimes, so I am not ruling that out, but the dates are too close. I am concerned that I am now being kept out of the loop on purpose. 

Anyhow, I sent the following professional message to the chairperson of the Domestic Violence Program who also with be chairing the Bull Run Warrior Retreat Program: 

_Hi Sue. I was wondering if the ACTs program had been expanded to allow more people. If sessions are being started up in the fall and you are welcoming new people, I would be very interested. I am taking classes online for my MA degree in Human Service counseling, so I really am serious about dedicating myself to those children, since it is my passion. Please get back to me soon. Thank you. _

This will be an acid test to see if my hunches are true and whether or not she is really trying to exclude me. If they really feel that way about me, they should tell me to my face instead of avoiding me.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Okay. She wrote me back, but here is what she said:


_Janet, _ 

_The ACTS program has not been expanded, and there are no plans to do so at this time. We continued throughout the summer with sessions, and everything remains the same right now. Thank you for your interest. We will notify you if we expand the involvement with the program._

_Sue_

They're getting along just great without me! How wonderful!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

There are plenty of other places you can check with, no sense in putting all your eggs in one basket.


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## inge (Sep 20, 2009)

My experience with therapy dog work is, that when you start somewhere, there usually follows more. Go on a weekly basis to a nursing home, to a library...when people see you somewhere regularly, they know you are serious. Being seen works better than writing emails.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Okay, I do let my emotions get the bets of me sometimes. It is looking more and more evident that I will probably have to go solo and start my own ministry. I am working on starting a therapy dog ministry through my church with my lovely mentor who is the pastor's wife. We are trying to start a chapter of Canines for Christ founded by Van **** Church in Tampa FL. I am visiting the assisted living facility and I am also taking steps to visit the hospital, but a lot of the prep work takes place while I am at work, so that will take some time.


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