# 1st time puppy owner... confused & worried for the long term...



## newgirl781 (Jun 21, 2017)

Hello! I am the owner of a 13 week old male golden puppy. We've had him for a month, he came home to join our family at 8 weeks. Our family is me, my husband and our 3 year old son. We were very excited for our puppy to come home. We got him from a wonderful & dedicated breeder who gave the litter an amazing start, and we got to watch him grow from birth through photos, videos, emails, and a puppy visit to meet the litter before our puppy was chosen for us. A lot of focus was put on their temperament, health & socialization. We put what we thought was a lot of research into choosing the right breed, and were convinced a golden is for us! We pretty much were convinced we were bringing home a dream puppy! What we're going through now is, the bitiest puppy I ever thought could exist. I just literally had no idea this was even a THING! I read a lot, oh goldens can be mouthy and excited but they are the ideal family dog (different variations of this same idea). I guess i didnt know what mouthy was. Im consulting a professional tomorrow, but I found this forum and would love some feedback & reassurance that we made the right choice. He is 24/7 bitey. ALMOST every interaction with him results in him biting/chewing on us. I might probably care less if it was just us but my 3 year old is getting eaten alive. I asked the breeder if this was normal & she reassured me yes. We are crate training him, hes pretty close to housebroken, last accident was a week ago. Yay! We have an xpen set up for time outs. Tons of chew toy options spread around the living room for quick grabbing when he goes after us. We supervise him and my son constantly but EVEN with that he keeps catching him, his inner thigh, the backs of his legs, all our arms. Today, my husband and son were laying on the couch, laughing and petting him. He was on the floor, paws up on the sofa licking and receiving cuddles. Suddenly hes just grabbing at my sons legs, my son says ouch, which hes been saying a lot lately, but then he starts to cry. My husband picked my son up, and the puppy was still jumping for his legs as I was approaching, I literally could hear the snap/clack of his jaws in the air! We look and he got my son really good in his leg, like tore skin and drew blood. Im out of my element here! The only reason I havnt started puppy class yet was bc I was waiting for vaccines. I tried calling a puppy school Ive been looking at right away but must have been too late in the day. Is this normal? Does this puppy really go from being this annoying and frustrating to being a wonderful golden? Did we get the one nasty golden puppy? I havnt been enjoying his puppyhood anywhere near what I thought, because I wasnt expecting THIS, T-Rex boy we have? Does it get better? Thanks for any advice or feedback!! It would be so appreciated!!


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## Caitlin Zambon (Mar 20, 2017)

Hi! I am sorry you are dealing with excessive chewing! That seems horrible! I have a 15 week old golden retriever female puppy. She is great. I got her at week 7, due to scheduling, and she started biting a few weeks later. She chewed shoes, hands, toes, backpacks, etc. Every time my husband and I saw her chew something, we gave her a firm "NO" and replaced whatever she was chewing with a toy. She picked up on this very easily. I will say that I am a teacher and that I am very consistent with things. Consistency is VERY important. Make sure you are using the same work/phrase for each thing you want your puppy to do and make sure your husband and child is using the same words/phrases. For example, if you use "down" to get your puppy to lay down, do not expect your puppy to understand "down" when she is jumping/on the couch...you would need a different word such as "off." When our puppy was 8-9 weeks old and biting, we taught her the word "gentle." If she would bite hard on us we would act like a puppy and whine, hold our hand as if it really hurt (even if it didn't) and walk away. She understood gentle very quickly. After she understood gentle, we weaned her off of biting humans and we don't let her do it. We simply say NO and give her something she is allowed to chew on. Also, be cognizant of what you allow her/dont allow her to chew on. For example, our puppy was chewing on my husband's old sneakers. I ran over to replace the shoes with a toy and my husband said to me, oh I don't care about those shoes, she can have them. (I laughed). Your puppy is not going to know the difference between an old shoe and a new shoe. Make sure you only allow her to chew on puppy toys at first. My puppy really likes the stuffed animals. If she breaks through them, I just simply sew them up as it doesn't take much time. She also enjoys peanut butter so we put it on a bone that has ridges for her teeth. Keep in mind that your puppy is also teething. Our puppy has lost several teeth by 15 weeks. She has 3 loose baby teeth still. You can also put peanut butter on a ridge bone and then freeze it. my puppy LOVEs chewing on ice. I hope this helps!


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## BrianO (Apr 7, 2016)

You are describing a golden retriever puppy. This phase will pass eventually and will be markedly different after teething. Do a search on this forum for "land shark" and you will find many discussions.

Redirect with an acceptable toy or ball. Wear sleeves. Protect your son. Invest in an array of interesting toys.

React to bites with audible alarm. Say "no bite" or "no" firmly then gently close his mouth, readjust his center of balance, or put him in time out for a short cool down. Repeat as needed.

Live by the mantra that a tired puppy is a good puppy and wear the pup out a bit with some running in a fenced yard or a good walk.

This phase does pass. Each dog is an individual, but what you describe is not uncommon. After teething, it will get better. Right now, your pup needs training.

Good luck.


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## zoeythewonderdog (Mar 18, 2017)

hi! Sorry you're having a bad time. Pups do best when you can be clear what you *do* want them to do, as opposed to what you *don't* want them to do. In this case, what I want my pup to do is sit. I've managed to avoid most of the land-shark behavior that people post about. I don't think it's luck of the draw on temperament, I believe it's because every calorie she's consumed since I got her at 7 weeks has been earned through clicker training (she's 13 weeks now). Don't worry, I'm not starving her! She just has to do stuff to get her food. The first thing I taught her was to sit in front of me, facing me. She's had a huge, huge,huge reinforcement history for the sit, and you can't be jumping and biting if you're sitting. Make it a game, make it fun. One kibble for the sit, then toss another across the floor for pup to chase. This "reset cookie" (to reposition the dog) is critical to keep the dog moving and engaged in the game. Then you do it again. another sit, another reset cookie. and again. and again. Til he's had his breakfast, or dinner. It takes me a while to feed the dogs  I have to budget about 20 minutes to give her a meal, this is challenging in the mornings when I'm rushing for work (I've been late a lot since I got the pup  ). So it's a bigger time investment than setting a bowl on the floor, but it is so worth it! When you can get a reliable sit, on cue, you can start to have your son do the exercise, with supervision of course! Meantime, keep that puppy on a leash around your son (poor kid!) Good luck.


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

This is what golden puppies do, it's cute to watch when this behavior is directed at another puppy but not so much when it's your child. They have an abundance of energy and must learn a more acceptable behavior. 

zoeythewonderdog is spot on, it's much easier to teach the behavior you want vs. correcting the behavior you don't. He's being a puppy, it's all he knows how to do. Maybe this will help you find a better way to teach the behavior you do want. 





Much like your child, the more time you spend training the faster the unwanted behavior will go away. Keep your son safe and enjoy the puppy. They are little sponges and can learn all the basic stuff before they are 4 months old... sit, down, walking on a leash (nicely), come when called and retrieve. The more you train the more you will enjoy your dog but training will continue for the first couple of years so work it into your schedule. It only takes about 5 minutes several times a day but it must be done every single day. Good luck!


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

newgirl781 said:


> HThe only reason I havnt started puppy class yet was bc I was waiting for vaccines. I tried calling a puppy school Ive been looking at right away but must have been too late in the day. Is this normal? Does this puppy really go from being this annoying and frustrating to being a wonderful golden? Did we get the one nasty golden puppy? I havnt been enjoying his puppyhood anywhere near what I thought, because I wasnt expecting THIS, T-Rex boy we have? Does it get better? Thanks for any advice or feedback!! It would be so appreciated!!


First: Young golden retrievers are known for being mouthy. They're bred to carry stuff, and they tend to use their mouths to explore the world. It's one of the basic traits of the breed. So it's normal that your pup is mouthy. He isn't nasty at all. He's a pup.

Second: While it will get better, it won't totally go away on its own - you have to train your pup not to bite humans, and teach him how hard is too hard when he puts his teeth on humans. This is called bite inhibition.

Third: You don't need all the vaccines to start puppy class. I've raised three pups in the last 12 years or so, and they've all been in puppy class from 8 weeks of age. Our school doesn't accept pups over 14 weeks of age in puppy class.

I would suggest getting into a good training class as quickly as you can. The trainer will show you how to deal with the biting, and how to teach bite inhibition to your pup.

In the meantime, it will be important to keep the pup on leash and under control when he's with your son, until you've taught him that your son isn't a toy. It shouldn't be possible for the pup to jump up and grab your son's legs. If the pup is on a leash, you can simply take hold of the leash and stop him when he tries to do that. You should, by now, have trained your pup to obey the basic commands: sit, down, stay (at minimum). If you haven't, you need to do that quickly. Then, when he jumps up to try to get your son, you can ask him for an alternative behaviour: a "sit" would do it.

The problem you're having is that the pup is in charge, not you. A bit of basic training will resolve the problem, and a good puppy/obedience class will teach you how to train him.

Golden retrievers are difficult dogs for the first year or two, but if you do your homework and put in the training, they can be wonderful family pets. It's just that they're not wonderful spontaneously: it's up to you to make them that way.

Best of luck.


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## Gleepers (Apr 20, 2016)

Yah, those early moths were tough!! Lots of battle wounds and second guessing this "family dog" I had decided to get. Very good advise above. Train train train. Then train some more. Penny spent a lot of time on a leash in the house and at just over a year still has to be on one occasionally, especially when the kids have friends over. 
2 additional things that we found helpful. Encourage the puppy to hold a toy in his mouth when playing around the kid. This helped a lot when everyone was playing together. And also train the kid to train the dog. Even at 3 a kid can master the basics and it's easier if everyone is on the same page. My kids are 12, 9 and 6 and I spend as much time if not slightly more teaching the kids to work with the dog as I do working just with the dogs.


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## gdgli (Aug 24, 2011)

My opinion may not be a popular one but here goes. When placing my puppies I would not consider a home with a three year old in it for several reasons. I will just give you one: watch what the puppy does when your son has food in his hand (or maybe even a toy). In order to prevent a serious problem you and your husband need to learn a lot about puppy behavior, training, interactions with children, etc. Get this book: THE TOOLBOX FOR REMODELING YOUR DOG by Terry Ryan. And get into a good obedience class with a good trainer.


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## usually lurking (Apr 21, 2017)

I didn't consider bringing a puppy into my home before my kids were five, for the safety of the kids and the puppy. Most toddlers don't know how handle biting puppies. The puppy could inadvertently hurt the toddler, and the toddler could inadvertently hurt the puppy. At five, I can tell my kids to "get a toy" when the puppy tries mouthing, and they can do that. Luckily, none of my kids were bothered by the puppy teeth. However, once teething was over and the mouthing hadn't stopped, they were bothered. They knew to walk away, or find a toy, but it wasn't enough. That was the point at which I'd spray taste deterrent on them when the puppy started mouthing. He learned quickly not to put teeth on them, but would (and does) still lick them all the time.


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## Mayabear (Aug 26, 2015)

To reassure you, what you are describing is normal behavior. Your pup is no different from a child in the sense he needs direction and to be told what is acceptable and what is not. 

Start training as soon as you can. Classes are great, but don't forget to continue training at home. High value treats and positive reinforcement together will help your puppy learn to do the things you want him to.

We don't have kids, but I supervise Maya very closely when she is around children. She is 2.5 years old and very gentle. Yet, in her excitement she could knock a small child over. In your case, at this stage, expect your puppy to be mouthy for a few months. You will need to be very vigilant with your pup around your son, because naturally your pup will try to play with your son and in an excited state he will be mouthy. 

I was a first time golden parent in February 2015 and was worried sick about the land shark phase. It passed. It took time, patience, and consistency. Keep at it with training and it will surely work out for you as well.


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

I have to admit there are easier breeds as puppies out there but couldn't find a better breed as an adult. BUT... if you don't put in the training time now you will have an out of control 60+ lb. dog that will knock your kids to the floor.

You didn't mention where you got your golden and hope your breeder is diligent on temperament and possibly does conformation shows. I love high energy performance dogs but must admit my new pup is extremely mellow and does much better with the great grand kids (under age 4) My last girl was bred for obedience and constantly knocked over the grand kids even at age 4 with 3 obedience titles. Just very different dogs. You might talk with your breeder, know one will know your puppy more than the breeder.


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## CoopersMom16 (Dec 29, 2016)

Cooper is my 6th dog but 1st St Golden. I'd never had a bitey dog before. From 8 weeks to 8 months he bit constantly. My son cried every day that he couldn't play with his puppy. I had to warn people, esp kids, away from him. It was awful. Now at 10 months the biting has mostly stopped. Except when he gets excited on his leash he's just started jumping up and biting my hands. He has also eaten our sofa, TV remotes and molding. He has a wonderful disposition but I would not get a Golden puppy again. I was told by many here this was normal and also read dozens of similar posts and advice how to deal with it. Nothing worked except gradually outgrowing it. Good luck. I do think once they past this stage they turn into wonderful adult dogs.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I know it's really unpleasant, and you definitely want to curb the teeth on skin, but just to reassure you this is 100% normal for Golden puppies. They are nick named "land sharks" for that very reason. 

Golden Retrievers are "retrievers" and are born with the instinct to use their mouths on EVERYTHING more so than other breeds. In puppies that means using their mouth to play, explore, taste, eat, etc. He is playing with you and your son the way he would play with his littermates. 

Keep toys nearby and literally put them in the puppy's mouth when he starts the biting, encourage him to play with the toy instead of biting you and praise when he does. 

Get a puppy pen and separate the puppy from your child most of the time. They are both just too young to allow the puppy freedom to continue going after your son the way he does now. You don't want your child injured, and you don't the puppy to "practice" biting him either. Think of it like a play pen for a child, safe for the puppy and protects your child and your home from the puppy destruction.

Your puppy is not mean, and he is not aggressive. He's totally normal for his age. It is definitely something to work on and teach him to redirect that mouth to appropriate things.

This is a really good article posted on the puppy section of this board. You can also find hundreds of threads about puppy biting and how to deal with it if you do a search in the puppy section of the forum.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...y-up-1-year/380986-its-puppy-not-problem.html


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## newgirl781 (Jun 21, 2017)

Firstly, I really want to thank everyone for their helpful responses!! I was surprised to see so many and so quickly, and made me feel better right away! I wasted no time today in finding him a puppy kinder, and on the recommendation of a friend, found a class nearby that actually just started! We were able to attend tonight, and there was another golden puppy there too, a 14 week old girl. She was her owner's 3rd golden and the woman does obedience competitions. I liked the class very much, it was a rewards based class, and many things that were mentioned today, you guys have mentioned in your responses! I never realized a solution for golden owners with small children was to keep them on leash a lot in the home, its not something thats ever come up, and Id never seen other puppy owners doing that. Its an idea that ill definitely try. We've been using an x-pen to keep them separate so far when he gets too excited. I see I have to step my training and tiring game up. What I thought was a good amount of exercise just simply isnt!


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## aesthetic (Apr 23, 2015)

I'm glad that things are starting to look up  I don't have any thing new to add, but I just wanted to say that it really does get better and these dogs really do end up being the most amazing companions. It just seems impossible because it's your first puppy. My current boy is my first dog of any kind, and while I knew what to expect, nothing could really prepare me for reality - and my boy was an easy puppy all things considered! I didn't know how to handle his puppy mouthiness (not being consistent enough was my biggest issue) and as a result, he was mouthy a lot longer than he should have been (it took me until he was about 7-8 months to eradicate the issue). I didn't like him for the longest time, but now at 2 years, I can't imagine my life without him. So yes it gets better, it just takes a lot of time, effort, and patience.


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## kellyguy (Mar 5, 2014)

newgirl781 said:


> I never realized a solution for golden owners with small children was to keep them on leash a lot in the home,


You've been given a lot of excellent advice. One thing I learned with my "land shark" was that a lot of bad behavior happens when the puppy is left to his own devices. When it is not possible to be actively engaged with the puppy in training, putting them in an X-pen or similar to keep them in sight but away from mischief is mandatory.
The other thing I learned is puppies react to different children in different ways. This grandchild is comfortable around dogs and Duffy behaved perfectly. Other kids the same age scream, yelp and run around which over stimulates the puppy and the results are out of control.


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## Larsbar79 (Mar 21, 2016)

This puppy is the 8th dog I have had and the first golden So so bitey! I knew it was coming...The one thing that has worked for us besides, "NO BITE" and a toy in the mouth, is spraying bitter apple on my hands and my 3.5 year old's hands. Ive noticed if Flash is a little too tired or "hangry", he gets really snappy and bitey. He's drawn blood on me 4 times now. He has a heck of a strong jaw! The bitter apple does work. I let him try to taste my hand or my foot with the spray on it and he backs off shaking his head, but then I slowly try to stroke his neck and body with my other by telling him Good Boy when he stops biting. I have also said the word "Kiss" when he does just lick and then praise him for that. I'm hoping it might be a redirect....? 
We've had Flash since Friday and he has already learned to sit and almost come.... I have also given my son single pieces of kibble and have him practice Sit with Flash. Flash is learning good things come from hands if we are patient and don't bite! At least I'm hoping. When he does stop going for toys and only my legs and hands, I pick him up and stroke him while talking low and sweet and then put him in time out. I don't want the time out to be negative. Screeching loudly when he bit worked for a few days, but not any more....

I will add he was a single puppy when born. I know we will have a heck of a time


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

My first golden retriever puppy, Brady, came from one of the best breeders. He was the worse! He is now 10 1/2 years old and the best dog ever, so good now, that I now have 5 goldens.

My kids were 4, 8 and 9 - when we went to pick him up, my breeder almost did not let us leave with him, until we verified the age of my youngest, she had just turned 4, and she would not send a puppy home to any family that had a child under four, even thought we were an experienced dog family, raising one German Shepherd puppy and two Great Pyreneeses.

All of our clothes were ripped to shreds, our hands and legs looked like hamburg. He was the worst land shark. We had to control him with gates, a crate and I kept him leashed around my waist when I could not watch him 100 percent (like when I was cooking or doing the dishes). I tried everything and nothing worked. Went to classes, was told things like just shove something else in his mouth, just turn your back away and ignore him, just take your thumb and press hard in his mouth, ...... nothing worked. I really do not think that people really understood how bad he actually was, and I think having children made things worse.

One of the biggest problems with kids, is the screeching and the running away from an attacking land shark, it just encourages them more.

What I learned was many times when he got really bad, it was because he was being a cranky little baby that needed a nap. I would put him in his crate, and he would be sleeping in minutes. I also learned that if he went to class, and got to play with other puppies, he was usually good for the next 36 hours. I kept empty soda cans, filled with about 8 pennies each, in strategically placed areas of my house. When I screamed "No", I would also shake the can, otherwise a woman's voice when upset, goes to a higher pitch and is not effective.

Gradually he got better, but it was not overnight, I am talking months. When he was about 7 or 8 months, he finally decided to become the velcro golden I had dreamed about. Still a little mouthy to two of the girls, but my youngest, my husband and I he was fine with, he realized we were boss. When I got my second golden is when he settled completely. None of the puppies I have had since have been mouthy. Not sure if it is the lines, the way the litter is raised, or because I have adult dogs now to put the others in their place.

I just raised my first litter, and I put my hands in their mouths when they got their teeth. If they touched my hand with their teeth, I would "uh-uh" - I hope this helped. The puppy we kept will gently put my hand in her mouth, but just holds it. I never feel her teeth.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Larsbar79 said:


> I will add he was a single puppy when born. I know we will have a heck of a time


^^^^ This right here says everything! They are very special puppies with attitudes.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

The part about teaching what you want them to do is correct. One of the phrases we used with Chloe is get a toy. She is two now so biting isn't a issue. But we do tell her that phrase when someone comes over. She will get a toy and it keeps her from jumping. So very true. Teach your pup what you want them to do instead of saying no.


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

I have 5 kids and the youngest had just turned 3 when we brought home our boy 2 years ago.

What I did was prevent access to my youngest kids. While my dog was a terror for a long time (read my old threads-- I came to a breaking point when he was 7 months old!), he never did anything to them because I didn't let him! We used gates, leashes, tether outside, the crate... and then I did a TON of relaxation exercises with him, inc. telling the kids to run and scream while wearing boas, tutus, etc. and rewarding him for lying there quietly.

Let me tell you, I wish I could have young kids again when we bring home the next puppy. Because if you can train a puppy along with young kids, you have a BOMBPROOF dog. 

My dog can deal with anything that comes his way, but I still reward him for "putting up" with life. (My kids know that if they trip over him by accident to run and get him a treat, for example.) NEVER has he shown any type of stress signal that comes from living in a household of 5 girls. (A few of whom scream... a lot.) In fact, when anyone gets stressed out, like my 5 yr old and her tantrums, he comes up to her and licks her face, wags his tail, lies by her. He makes sure I remain calm around the kids... if he sees me get stressed out he follows me around and makes his presence known. He will sit to be pet because he knows we all calm down when he's around, and he's always around. Most dogs would probably run the other way when they hear screaming, but he says, "They need me!" and makes sure he does his job.

We took him to a neighborhood festival and a young girl wanted to keep putting her hand on his mouth. I did stop her but she tried several more times. Our dog just stood there with his happy face because he's experienced it all, but he's been rewarded all along for it so he knows how to go with the flow.

Take a deep breath and know that if you keep working on it, the child/dog combo will make your dog be the Best Dog Ever! Mine sure is!


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## bixx (Sep 8, 2015)

This post reminds me of me. I am not a first time dog owner but I am first time golden retriever dog owner. I have never EVER had a pup bite so much than a golden pup. As I mentioned in the forum before..my daughter wanted to return her not even a week after we got her! Amber was so enamored with our daughter that all she did was try to bite her in excessive play mode. My poor daughter was terrified of the pup...hated her even...and screamed to keep the pup away from her. She was so upset with us for getting one because this experience was not at all what she expected. (Nor did we actually). I have read so much on the breed before getting her, and then I thought -- gee, I must have missed out reading on this part of puppy stage because it was TERRIBLE!

Anyway, we applied a consistent method of yelping and ignore which worked very well on Amber and after a hell of a month, she finally learned to control her bite. Still mouthy, but at least no longer sinking her sharp puppy teeth in. Eventually of course, after she had gone through her teething stage, it was all so much better.

Now at 2 years of age, she's still mouthy when she wants to play but when we say "Enough", she settles down immediately. Her teeth never leaves a mark on our skin. On the other hand -- I do get a lot of scratches from her because she likes to paw when she wants (or needs) attention! 

Let me say that I have fallen deeply in love with this dog breed. They are a joy to train and wonderful family companion. You just have to get through the puppy mouthing stage.  

Get your pup a good chew toy like zogoflex, kong, or fleece rope. When choosing a method to train your pup out of biting too hard, read about pros and cons of that method. Understand what you are doing (eg...if I do this, am I actually rewarding the negative behavior or not). Choose one method and stick to it. It takes time to see the result, but there will be results.

Good luck!


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## Foxster (Jun 15, 2017)

I feel your pain fox was nightmare and at 7 months drew blood... it may help to use coconut oil on the family the edible kind. Now he goes to mouth and tastes coconut and starts licking...


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## Angiebaby (Jul 3, 2017)

My 11 week old is in this stage also. My question.. Kona raises her upper lips when she is in land shark mode. Is this normal? I am hoping this is not aggressive behavior. We are using the stuff a toy method which is helping. Thanks for everyone's help and support.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Angiebaby said:


> My 11 week old is in this stage also. My question.. Kona raises her upper lips when she is in land shark mode. Is this normal? I am hoping this is not aggressive behavior. We are using the stuff a toy method which is helping. Thanks for everyone's help and support.


It is totally normal, she's playing and pretending to be fierce. Get her plenty of play time, appropriate chew toys, periodic nap time/quiet time in her crate (she's still a baby) and lots of off leash hikes, play time in water, purchase a baby wading pool if need be, get her out and about every day. A tired puppy is a good puppy. Are you all signed up for obedience classes yet? If not, it's not too soon to find a good training club, the best places have their puppy classes fill up fast.


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

Angiebaby said:


> My 11 week old is in this stage also. My question.. Kona raises her upper lips when she is in land shark mode. Is this normal? I am hoping this is not aggressive behavior. We are using the stuff a toy method which is helping. Thanks for everyone's help and support.


My 18-month-old dog still does this when playing with other dogs, and especially with puppies. It's his "fierce" face, and he doesn't have a fierce bone in his body - he's about the gentlest dog you could imagine. He combines it with play-bows and lifted paws. It's incredibly cute to see him do this.


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