# HELP! We don't know what to do :-(



## Tailer'sFolks (Feb 27, 2007)

I hate being first...but, never leave your dog alone with young-ones even for a second...both can make moves that send signals that the other can very easily misinterpret! 

Don't toss the dog out.

Learn from this. Your dog is adjusting into your life...it may take months...patience

...


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I would honestly really make sure your kids - both of them - learn to respect the dog's mouth and boundaries. No sitting on the dog. No pulling at the dog. If the dog has food or toys or something he wants, kids should be closely monitored by you. 

This guy just came home with you 2 weeks ago and if your kids are completely normal, they've probably been swarming all over him. That's a lot of stress, and he might be getting to the edge of his tolerance. You need to make sure that he has the space and respectful handling he should have, especially in the next year or so while he is settling in with you.

Golden retrievers are very sweet dogs, but they are dogs. Push them to the limits - especially when they are already uncertain and stressed, and you will have growling and snapping. And it's tragic for the dogs, because they can't communicate otherwise to their people when they've had enough harassing or if they don't like something.


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## Duke's My Dog (Jul 6, 2012)

I definately don't want to get rid of him, but I am so scared now. I mean my son isn't even 2 and I just worry I will take my eyes away for a second and something will happen to him. 

It's just so strange......Goldens are the nicest dogs and we have never been mean to him or anything.....but we have no idea what he has or hasn't been through.

Please don't judge me if I sound stupid at all, this is just the 1st time we have dealt with a dog being aggressive at all ad it is very scary :-(


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

It is scary when these things happen, and it is a normal reaction to worry about what might happen. I agree with the posts already made. You need to set him up for success. Put up baby gates between him and your 2 yr old, NEVER leave them unattended together not even for a moment. If they are together your eyes must be on them every second. Your daughter needs to be under your supervision if she is interacting with him. He hasn't been with you long enough to be confident he is "home", and definitely not long enough for you to know what his personality, temperment and behavior really is.

I would also find a good trainer and have some home sessions to help you work with him.


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## OutWest (Oct 6, 2011)

I agree with the previous posters. Goldens are very sweet but there is no such thing as a child-proof dog. It should be OK for your daughter to feed the dog, but you should be there to watch the interaction. 

Your dog is figuring out his place in his new pack. He looks at the kids as his "siblings". He's probably jockeying for pack position in his head. Most dogs start to settle in after about two weeks, so this timing sounds right. It would be good to have a trainer come to the house to see the whole family dynamic and to educate everyone on the appropriate way to interact with the dog. in the interim however, be very vigilant, and get the baby gates up so you always know where the dog and kids are in relation to each other. 

My guess is you've got a potentially great family dog so I hope you give him the best chance possible. 

Welcome to GRF! Hope you'll stick around and post some pictures.

P.s. I wouldn't even use the word aggressive because you didn't see what happened. You daughter may have put the food down and then reached in to move it. He could have nipped her like dogs do to each other to say hands off my food. just be watchful. Remember, if Duke had *meant* to bite or hurt, he could have, but he *didn't.*


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## sdain31y (Jul 5, 2010)

Please remember the description that a young child gives as to what happened and what an adult might "see" are 2 different things. If the dog didn't break the skin it was trying to "tell" your child not to do what it was doing. 

Seperate the dog and children when you feed it -its only fair to both. If you want to let your older child give the dog its food, then you need to supervise the exchange.

I agree that if its only been in your home a few weeks, letting the children crawl all over it, etc. probably isn't a good idea. Yes, goldens are great with children, but there needs to be limits. We've had our two grandchildren visiting for 2 weeks. The kids are 19 months and 11 years and our pups are 2 & 3 years. We supervise any time they are together. Our young male, Darby is as patient & gentle as a dog can be around the baby. The ultimate "golden" in most people's minds. Our older female is more high energy and can easily overwhelm the baby when she makes noises or tries to play. When the baby gives the dogs a toy or treat -Darby takes it like he's getting communion from the Pope, but Jazz often puts the baby's whole hand in her mouth! She's not being mean or "aggressive" but both the baby and Jazz had to learn the whole transfer of items procedure.

Training, patience, time and caution will allow the relationships to develop between all the family members and the new dog. Please don't re-home the dog, everyone deserves the opportunity to learn how to be a family. The dog isn't the only one that needs to learn boundaries and acceptable ways to interact. Its an investment you'll never regret.


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## Ithaca (Jul 24, 2011)

I once got bitten by a stray or lost dog when I was a child by giving him another piece of the food my mom had already given him. To him, my hand coming to his mouth was a threat of taking his food away. Not being used to dogs, my mom did not think of that. I think this dog's behavior was quite normal. Who knows when he had his last meal?

Also... My Poppy is the sweetest dog. Really, she is cool and kind, she lets the cat eat her food in her dish, she lets the cats in the house have 'priority' and will lie down if a cat wants to go by her but is nervous to pass her, etc. She also never barks or growl. The last time I heard her bark was in May, at the squirrels, and it had been a long time before that. She hates when I brush her and untangle her knots. Once I was brushing her and insisting on cutting off some of the worst knots and she was really annoyed by this. She closed her jaw around my hand and looked me in the eye. She did not bite, but the message was very clear. For a dog that doesn't growl or bark and who is gentle, this was superb communication. It was not agressive. It was just a message. A dog's message.

I also agree with the previous posters about the stress your dog is under. You have seen he is a good dog. It will just get better with time. Everyone, dog and human, will adjust. Good luck!


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## MooreSR2371 (Jun 24, 2012)

To throw my 2 cents in, I would agree with OutWest, maybe some training would work. Right before we rescued Tucker, I did a lot of research on what to expect. One of the main things was that it can take a couple days up to six months for a dog to become acclimated to his new home. We were very fortunate that it took Tucker only about 4 days to really be comfortable, now he's king of the castle. Your new dog is probably just very confused with all the changes. Being an uncle of 3 little ones we are very cautious with Tucker, but he has been an angel with the kids. Just give your new dog time, I know everything will work out in the end...Best of Luck!!!


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## Ithaca (Jul 24, 2011)

sdain31y said:


> When the baby gives the dogs a toy or treat -Darby takes it like he's getting communion from the Pope


I love it! The picture is so good, so true! I can totally see Darby's attitude, head a little low, very soft mouth, eyes on the baby!


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Duke's My Dog said:


> But my son (almsot 2) has pulled his tail or sat on him, etc and the dog has been fine. He also has been fine with most males, except my father in law. He growled at him when he came to visit, but then they made friends. He stayed for a few days and Duke growled again at him in the morning 1 or 2 mornings, but the last morning, Duke was fine with him.
> 
> WELL tonight, we were gone at Duke's dinner time, so we fed him pretty late. My 6 year old daughter wanted to help me feed him so I put the food in his dish and she went around the corner to put his dish down while I closed up the bag of dog food. Next thing I know, she started screaming because the dog bit her :-( He didn't break the skin, but he did bite her. WHAT THE HECK? I am so saddened by this. I don't want something worse to happen. Should we try to find him a different home or is there help for this type of behavior?
> 
> Most of the time he is such a good dog.......just lays around and wants to be loved. My husband and I don't know what to do :-(


My 2 cents - first off I would agree with the prior posts but have to ask:
If you let your 2 year old pull on his tail and sit on him what else are your kids doing? This is not fair to your dog and he most likely feels threatened and backed into a corner.

I still can remember my mother's voice in my head - each and every time any of us were bit by a neighborhood dog, she would ask what we had done to deserve the bite? And then would ask if we had learned not to do that again. I should mention that there were no aggressive dogs in the neighborhood, only dogs saying they had had enough.

Sorry if that seems harsh, but exactly how much would you expect this dog to tolerate before he starts teaching your kids manners in the only way he knows how? He did not break skin so it was just a warning. 

If your 6 year old wants to feed the dog, you need to supervise - especially if you are late in feeding him. You also need to teach the dog to sit and wait for his bowl to be put down. You need to teach him to 'give' or 'out' on command. And your 2 year old needs to learn he cannot pull tails, sit on the dog or any other activities like poking eyes, pulling privates etc.


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## Jersey's Mom (Nov 25, 2007)

In addition to what other posters have already mentioned, you don't know how the children in his previous family treated him. The few incidents of your children being a little rough on him may just be the latest in a long line of incidents for this dog. He may, to an extent, feel that kids' behavior can't be trusted. So if she reached down to readjust the bowl, for example, he may have believed she was going to snatch it away if this was something the other children did with treats, chews or toys. This is going to be a learning process for all of you. Don't give up on him based on a single incident that you didn't even truly witness. Enlist the help of a good trainer, go to a puppy class and begin to learn how to work with each other. Good luck with your new pup!

Julie, Jersey and Oz


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

OP was the others mentioned your kids need to leave the dog alone especially when eating. Nothing good ever comes from rough play either. If he wanted to bite your daughter he would have broken skin. He may have warned he before about leaving him alone when he is eating.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

As my former boss used to say,"All dogs bite, it's a question of when.". My children, now all grown up, were never allowed to hug, climb on, or pull the tails on the Goldens....when they were little. They were never close at feeding time, either. I also never let mine pick up pups and lug them around when they were little. As everyone else has said, I am a fan of baby gates keeping dogs and kids safe. And I still tell my 18 year old son who knows better that if he insists on sticking his face in his sleeping dog's face, that if he gets bitten, it is his own fault! (the dog has never shown he hates it, but anything can happen). And getting a trainer is great advice.


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

You don't know this dog well enough to be allowing the kids near the food, any toys, etc. Just because he's a golden doesn't mean he's going to be totally trustworthy. Also, you have to remember this is new and scary for him too. He's also quite young himself. You'll just have to be careful and take your time as you and your new dog get to know each other, learn limits, etc. By the fall you should have a really good idea and understanding of your new dog.


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## mddolson (Jul 10, 2012)

*Resource Protective*



Duke's My Dog said:


> We got an 18 month old Golden on June 26th. They told us they were the original owners and they had 3 kids, same as us. They said they were moving and they couldn't take the dog with them. He has been a great dog, the only thing is he hates being left alone at home, but we deal with that because we are here most of the time anyways.
> 
> We have noticed he is kind of crazy when we get his toys out. He LOVES to fetch on land and in water.......doesn't like to give the ball back though. But my son (almsot 2) has pulled his tail or sat on him, etc and the dog has been fine. He also has been fine with most males, except my father in law. He growled at him when he came to visit, but then they made friends. He stayed for a few days and Duke growled again at him in the morning 1 or 2 mornings, but the last morning, Duke was fine with him.
> 
> ...


Some dogs become resource protective when they change homes.

This sounds very similar to the situation we had with our last Lab (Emma). She was a rescue from the local humane society. She was about a year old when she was found wondering. She was very under weight, ribs visible on her sides. We found she was very protective of her food. Once her food was down if either my wife or I approached she would growel, show her teeth, and even attempt a barking bite if we came too close. I am sure we would have been bitten if we were within reach. 
She did not trust us, nor we her. 
Here's what worked for us:
1) Feed her , but stay well away while she's eating.(for a week)
2) 2nd week feed her 3/4 of her normal portion but remain close by. Gauge your distance you do not want to seem threatening. Watch her posture. When she's done eating, give her the remaining 1/4.
3) Gradually shorten the distance, always have some food to give her.

It took us about a month before we could approach our lab while she was eating. Once we earned her trust she became one of the most loving a affectionate pets we've ever owned.

Mike D


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## FinnTastic (Apr 20, 2009)

So sorry this happen. I like the idea of bringing in a trainer to help. You could also give/toss him a great treat every time he eats. He will associate you near his bowl as good b/c he gets yummy teats. Just remember, this may not be an easy fix. It could take months. Don't give up on him and watch those kiddos like a hawk around the dog. Good Luck!


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## Tailer'sFolks (Feb 27, 2007)

Hand Duke feed a few kibbles at a time when calm...do commands, sit, down, bow, whisper...give a few more kibbles...

You are in charge. Food comes from you. After some practice, try placing a few kibbles down and say "Leave it!" after Duke is calm, release him "ok"...

Llama for the balls...Tailer would not give me the ball...I turned my back on him...ohhh, he hated that! I stood, back towards him...feet spread a bit apart...on a slight grade...when Tailer couldn't stand the rejection any more he'd drop the ball behind me! Being on a slight grade, the ball would roll and end by my toes...months later Tailer learned to drop the ball in front of my feet! 

Good Luck!


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## Tailer'sFolks (Feb 27, 2007)

How's Duke doing with your family?


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

You never know what a child might innocently do that will make a dog bite a child.

When Brady was about seven months old, I was sitting on the floor on my laptop and Brady was lying next to me, my then four year old, who even then was really gentle with animals was beside us. All the sudden Brady bit her, and broke her skin. It was so out of character of her. Of course she said he just bit her. The next day she told her preschool teacher, she was trying to take a "boogie" out of Brady's nose - no wonder why he bit her! I would have too! She was just trying to help.

She learned her lesson, and 5 years later, never had another incident.


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