# Welcome Obi - now what? :-/



## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

After the passing of our beloved Phoebe we started casually looking at Goldens available in our general area - both rescue and others. One popped out to me - even though I had never considered a boy - he got my attention - 2 years old and very good lines though he didn’t have any well care established and were behind on his vaccinations and having some skin allergies. They wanted a fairly substantial rehoming fee - no problem really though for the right dog. 100 miles away and they made me wait the whole week before coming to see him. I was excited at the prospect of welcoming another family member!

I went there today - but after a long meeting with him was very disappointed and felt like they misled me. The pup is EXTREMELY skittish. He was afraid to go near me at first. Unknown things, sounds or movements all send him running. He is very sweet, smart, obeys commands and is a beautiful English Cream - but there’s something seriously wrong with him mentally. This is likely largely attributable to him being brought into a family with a smaller dog that is beyond high strung - psychotic!! After a deep sigh of disappointment, I told them I really like him, but have to decline, as the results of bringing him home would just be too unpredictable even though I’m very good with them. I had fully expected to be going home with him - but his behavior was completely unlike a golden’s typical outgoing and happy demeanor.

They said they understood, and that they had others who were interested. I was in the process of leaving when they called and lamented over his skittish behavior - saying this was worse than they had ever seen before. They acknowledged that it would probably be a problem for anyone wanting to adopt him especially with other dogs - and then offered him for free. Otherwise they said he would probably end up going to a rescue. Knowing this, I couldn’t say no. So I brought him home to give him a chance...

So far it’s been an adventure. He wouldn’t get out of the car. I had to coax him close and then drag forward/lift him out. He didn’t want to go in the house but once the scary garage door was closed (VERY scary) I let him off the leash and he found his way inside. He won’t eat or drink. But I did manage to take him out a couple of times and he’s taken care of all his business. We have a very large house - he’s been hiding away in my walk-in closet and bathroom. I’ve put out food and water and after I’m done here I’ll go out and watch TV in hopes he warms up. Mostly he just tries to keep away from me as far as he can go in this big house. He'll come if I call him, I give him praise but he won't follow me at all so far.

There is much work to be done with this pup. I think the little dog he lived with terrorized him. His owners might have been a bit too strict too. When I give him the sit command he does it very well, but in his eyes it seems (to my gut instinct) it's not because he wants to please - it looks to be out of fear.

Here he is hiding in my closet. One day at a time right now I guess.... We may need some professional help but will start with love and assurances and try to build his confidence! Maybe this was meant to be and he'll come around. I don't know too many people would be able to manage him though. He looks much smaller in this pic than he really is - 85lbs - a real bruiser! lol


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## Pilgrim123 (Jul 26, 2014)

He's a very good looking pup, but is going to be a LOT of work. Have you ever crate-trained a dog? By your description of his hiding in your closet, he may be the perfect candidate for that. He'll find a safe place - he needs a safe place. I feel he is overwhelmed by the big, open spaces of your house. By the way, it sounds like he may have been mistreated by his humans, not a little dog. 
Thanks for taking him in - not everybody would.


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

Thank you for saving him. Pilgrim is right, he is going to be a lot of work. And you are going to have to take it very, very slow with him. He may not want to go into a kennel right away, but you can try to create a safe place for him to retreat. If he likes your closet, I would let him go there.

Do you have a behaviorist near you? I highly encourage you to find one and work with one. For the short-term, let him acclimate. Don't have too many expectations for him now. Take it at his pace. If you push too fast too hard, you're not going to get anywhere.

He's a beautiful boy.


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## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

He is beautiful thank you for taking him in..I have no advice, other than repeating yours, one day at a time...good luck, I'm sure he will come around, he s been through alot..poor guy....


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

He is lucky to have you! The crate or a bed in a secluded place is a good idea, we all need our safe zone. Give him some time to get used to the household noises and he will be looking for your company before you know it. 

My frightened rescue still can't take strange places very well but couldn't ask for a nicer companion. As long as she is in her yard and her home she does really well. Actually getting Sipsy last spring made all the difference. Who knew getting a confident puppy would make her so happy! Thoughts and prayers for you both. She will eat when she is ready but offer food when she can be alone and it's quiet, I found that a consistent routine really helped. 

I will be anxious to hear about your progress. You will have a special bond with this one!


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

He's a beautiful boy. It's day one so he just needs to feel safe and learn to trust. Maybe a little trail of chicken will get him out of the closet. If he is skittish I would just be really careful when taking him out and make sure he's on a lead so he doesn't bolt out of fear. He looks solid and healthy. I'm happy you took him and are willing to give him the life he deserves.


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

As I thought might happen, things did get a bit better. My husband got home and met him while he was laying on the tile floor in my bathroom - and he immediately peed. (Not my husband - Obi) There have been a few little leaks with him the first day which I think are all nervous. Bright yellow pee too - they had him on Nutro Max Puppy and gave us the remaining bag - which is the wrong food for a 2 year old. :-(

Anyway, he liked my husband - maybe it's the testosterone thing. lol He playfully coaxed him to come out and visit us. He made it out and eventually up onto the couch plopped right down between us and stayed there for hours - pretty happy and quiet. I left him there (he wouldn't leave) and went to bed. My husband gets up super early and found him on the floor in front of the couch sleeping. By the time I got up he had him playing ball and running around - being a good boy.

He's had tons of water and several bathroom breaks and even a short walk - but so far won't eat. Since he didn't touch the food he was on, I mixed 50/50 puppy and senior food with a couple of tablespoons of canned Pedigree mixed a gravy with water. Phoebe loved the canned flavor - but no go for Obi - he's just not there yet - but by no means an underfed pup - he will be just fine when he warms up more.

I've never used a crate - though he does seem house trained and more comfortable today - maybe he won't need it. He would probably be scared of it anyway! We played a lot this morning and he's gradually reaching past his protective safety zones. I think around the house he will become very good in just a few days - but getting over this lack of confidence and fear of the new and unknown will be a much bigger long term project.

Will try to post back with more progress - so far I'm very happy we were able to save him. No telling what might have been the alternatives.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

I think he's made great strides. He looks a lot more comfortable.


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

You're doing great! I don't do crates either but when my girl gets spooked I put her bed in the laundry room where it's dark and secluded, it helps her to settle down. She doesn't have the ability to calm herself and tends to get very focused & stressed on something (like a cat outside the window) Autistic? She also can't go on walks without total terror of anything that moves, even falling leaves when the wind blows sends her running for her safe place. It doesn't sound like your boy is this bad and feeling very confident he will probably come out of most of the fear. 

It took more than a week before my girl would join us, this is big! The 1st time she met someone new she froze and stood there and shivered, panted and drooled. Her poor back legs shook so bad I was afraid she would collapse. If he met your husband and found common ground that is really awesome!

Puppy food at 2, pitiful. He may not like the food? You might want to choose what you are going to feed him and mix that to see if he is interested. Dogs are smart enough not to starve and will come around. 

Thanks for the update and believe me when I say you have made wonderful progress in a very short time. Because he was on puppy food I'm guessing they were not too concerned for his well being, might be worth getting a full blood panel just to be safe. I'm so glad you took him in!


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## Tosh's Legacy (Oct 2, 2013)

Serendipity!! The right people matched with the dog who needs them, and the right dog matched with the people who need him. He will be a great blessing in your life, I'm sure.
Each one of our loved furry ones has their own special traits and gifts.

Your love, experience and patience is just the right fit for him. From what you have
written, I have to agree with others that he may have been mishandled by people who
dodn't know the nature of a Golden and their sensitivity and the result is the anxiety,
uncertainly and fear he is exhibiting. We all have confidence for you that you will give
him a very loving home, the stability and trust he needs, and most of all, LOVE.
(Phoebe is right there with you to help you.)

I have two twelve-year old Goldens who I took in ten years ago when they were the same age as Obi. They were an absolute mess: in fact, so bad that my neighbors made bets on whether I would give up on them. My vet recommended rehoming the male because I already had one male Golden with an extreme seizure disorder. Ten years later, we have all lived peacefully and lovingly together as a family. There have been no problems, and my two "rescues" are happy, well-behaved dogs.

Looking back, I don't remember anything being "work." It has been a privilege to see
them healed and living as whole dogs. I would do it again in a heartbeat! They are
wonderful dogs.

Look forward to some happy and fulfilling years with Obi!


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## Keleigh (Feb 23, 2015)

I feel like our dogs DNA have definitely crossed somewhere, lol.

My Obi is also skittish, but not that skittish. He loves people, literally, everyone. But when it comes to changes to the house, a plastic bag blowing through the yard, tall statues, he tends to freak out, try to run away, or bark at it. LoL. The other day I tied my sons curtains up so he (my son) couldn't grab them while he was crawling around and when Obi noticed later that day he just started barking from the doorway afraid to go in my sons room. :-x He wouldn't go in to his room until I put the curtains back down. Le sigh. 

He also has skin allergies. We're still trying to figure out what's causing it though...

AND he's a super picky eater. The only food that he will eat the second it goes down is Royal Canin. It actually smells pretty good too. And it took me two years try RC. 

I think it's great you've rescued your Obi. I know when you go from a breed standard dog to one that is not quite there, it can be hard and disappointing. 

Obi actually has a small resource guarding issue (not food, just certain items), which is supposedly genetic, and when we first got him, I struggled with this. But then after speaking with trainers and behaviorists, they said while you can't "cure" it, you can manage it. And we have. I feel like we were meant to have our Obi because my husband and I were ready and willing (though we didn't realize it at the time!) to work with him whereas another family may have given him up again (he was returned to the breeder after a week, thats when we got him) and he may have been adopted out again to a family that would have just given him up and possibly been euthanized because he would have been older and not perfect. He has siblings with this same issue (not all have it) and we believe it came from their mother's side, and she is no longer being bred so her line ends.

I now have a soft spot for dogs who aren't perfect behaviorally. They can be really good, loving dogs, they just need a little extra understanding, TLC, management, structure, and only positive reinforcement. 

I hope you continue to work with your Obi. I'm sure there is a good dog in there! It can be stressful and daunting but every struggle we had to overcome with our Obi has been worth it. He is such a goof!


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

First of all thank you for taking Obi into your life and making him a part of your family. I have adopted many rescue dogs over the years. A number of them from abusive situations. From experience I can tell you that it will take them longer to settle in to your home than a puppy from a breeder or a shelter dog with no history of abuse. They generally do settle in though and the skittishness should disappear in time. 
I also would recommend a crate. I have found with my dogs, especially those which have been abused, that a crate offers them a sense of safety. I don't close the doors to the crate, I simply leave them open to allow them a place to go where they can decompress and feel secure. The rule in our house is if a dog is in a crate they are not to be disturbed. We raised our daughter (who is now an adult) with those rules and surprisingly all of our dogs have seemed to adhere to these rules...if one of the dogs goes to his/her crate the other dogs leave that dog alone. 
As for getting Obi to eat...I suspect that once he feels a bit more settled in your house he will begin to eat just fine. Since this has been stressful to him I would try giving him some plain cooked chicken and white rice. It may entice him to eat but is also bland enough that it should not cause tummy troubles. 
Again, thank you for taking this lovely boy into your home. I am sure in time he will be a happy and well adjusted member of your family. Best wishes


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

K - let me start by saying people like you restore my faith in humanity. 

He is so lucky that you came along - and that you got him out of that house. Poor thing. Probably just being free of the high-strung crazy (and likely lots of yelling in that house) will help him. He is clearly already doing better.

I do think a crate might provide him a safe place to go if he needs it - or just leave your closet open for him at all times, if he needs his den. My bet is that with patience, and calm, positive training, he will be a great dog. The submissive peeing.. I know there are other people on the forum who've had to deal with it. It may also ease up as he becomes more comfortable.

I wouldn't worry much about the eating right now. He's probably not really sure where he is, or whether he will be staying. He might still be nervous. Keep trying. Put down a dish for about 10 minutes - if he doesn't eat - pick it up. Try again at the next meal time. 

Good luck. I'm looking forward to seeing more updates. Are you going to change his name? Sometimes a dog who had a hard start in life can benefit from leaving every part of that old life behind.


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Thank you both ( you and your DH) for taking Obi... He is a beautiful dog and he really really needed someone like your family to give him a chance to feel loved and safe. Bless you. Will be watching your thread and sending all positive support your way.

It just lifts my heart to read ...

"Anyway, he liked my husband - maybe it's the testosterone thing. lol He playfully coaxed him to come out and visit us. He made it out and eventually up onto the couch plopped right down between us and stayed there for hours - pretty happy and quiet. "


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Obi is a very lucky boy. Hopefully he will continue to loosen up over time with some peace and quiet and getting accustomed to your home and his new people. 

In a month or so after you've given him a chance to settle, I hope you will consider getting involved with a dog training club, either obedience or agility and start working with him on the basics for those activities. One of the best ways to help build confidence in a dog is to give him things that you work on together as a team and that he can be successful at. You don't have to compete in those areas, just train and have fun. The foundations for agility are a lot of fun and the people are wonderful. It could really give him some self confidence.

My other thought is that dogs are a lot like children, they thrive on structure. I know you don't want to be strict with him but try to give him routine and structure. It will make him feel secure. I hope you will update us with more photos, I love that you got him out of that home. Bless you.


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

Thanks again everyone for so much support...it's really appreciated! I didn't really expect him to be a rescue, but so glad to be able to do this.

I found out quite a bit about his father Blue Ruler - Blue Ruler
And also his grandfather Erinderry King of the Blues Jack - :::Official Site Of The Retrievers of Golden Duck::: (This link requires clicking on "Our Boys" and finding him on the middle RH side)

He has migrated his safe zone from my closet/bath, to the family room now, and then became afraid to go into any other room. I've been working with him on that bit by bit on a leash to escort him into other scary areas and rooms - but he still is now centered on the couch area. And he also really likes the lanai/pool area as well to run around in. With the rare good weather we're having right now I can just leave the door open for him to choose inside or out - which he likes. Last night I was able to escort him into the scary bedroom at bedtime instead of leaving him alone in the family room. I don't think he slept much - after repeatedly coming to my side of the bed for assurances, later, every time I woke to check on him he was just laying there scanning around the room for danger. I'm sure at least some part of this is Phoebe's scent around the house leaving him concerned she is still around and going to come for him! (Females are the Alpha dog) He won't go near her bed or areas where she slept.

Last night he finally ate! I'm being lean on the amount right now to keep him a bit hungry and also help him burn off the puppy food he was being given. He ate again this morning dry food with no extra "gravy" so I think he's clear of that.

I do think we will try a crate since he really seems to need a secure place to relax. I felt bad he couldn't sleep and feel like that type of space might just be what he needs.

At the moment he's even laying in my scary office with the door open to the lanai. He wouldn't come this direction yesterday - but the leash escort trick worked so this is progress.
On walks he doesn't seem afraid of people or other dogs. Such a silly boy. His getting comfortable around here is just a few small steps - I really hope to alleviate his underlying issues if we can - and for that I'm sure we'll need a behavior specialist or maybe even a camp.


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

Obi is so handsome!!!! Thank you for rescuing this sweet boy!!! This warms my heart!!! 

It sounds like you are making good progress in a short amount of time! I think a crate would help him out quite a bit - giving him that "home base safe space" where he can relax. Everything is so new and he needs to settle in, it's a good sign he came to you for reassurance during the night, he's bonding! Great that he's eating too, he's certainly feeling more and more comfortable. 

I also agree with getting him some agility courses down the road - my Bailey was a fearful dog and agility was a big help in getting him some confidence. 

When I brought Fitz home some of the wonderful members here recommended Rescue Remedy - I put a few drops into their water bowl or on a treat and I think it really helped them. I also got Fitz a DAP (dog appeasing pheromone) collar. I don't know if it helped that much, but it did smell really good lol. 

Congratulations and great job so far! You are certainly helping this poor baby in the very best way!


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## sirbailey (Feb 6, 2016)

There is much work to be done with this pup....

Sure is, but with love, patience and training, you will do fine. I'm afraid you are expecting way too much, way too son.
Go slow and easy..this dog surely needs it!

GOOD LUCK.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I think you are doing a great job with him. Lots of reassurance and love will help him so much. I'm glad you're getting him a crate. They really do love having their own safe space. But it's a great sign that he is starting to eat, and that he is venturing outside to your lanai. He actually looks quite relaxed in those photos. You may be right about the Phoebe scent, but hopefully he'll get used to it and realize he really is the only dog. I feel bad for him that he didn't sleep well - but I bet being in a safe crate will help with that. Good luck - keep letting us know how things are going!


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

Just wondering how Obi is doing?


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## Rundlemtn (Jan 16, 2015)

Just saw this. Thank you for taking Obi in. I look forward to following your journey with one another.


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## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

just checking in to see how OBI is doing? You are doing an awesome job!!!! Have you gotten him a crate yet? Hope he's liking it....


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

Thanks everyone - he is doing better and better each day now. He’s eating well (still keeping the diet lean on a strict schedule) and starting to become a velcro dog - follows me into my office now and comes into the bedroom at night to sleep by the bed. In fact I had him jumping up on the bed for fun, about 1 hour ago for the first time. Good progress! He’s still very skittish though…. I just opened the drawer on my desk and it worried him. Very scary drawer! lol

I've held off on the crate/cage for now seeing his progress. He really has already made some safe zones and can be left alone without any issues. All he does is sleep. I just wish his main happy place wasn’t on the couch!  I imagine in another week he will be close to 100% content - in the house or with us being around.

But - I know this is just the beginning for him - The underlying issues won’t be fixed without long term work. 
I also still need to get him to the shot clinic (or vet) and he’s not going to like it.
We are going to still have to deal with strangers, visitors, deliveries, the maid, dog sitters, bath time etc.
And in about 6 weeks we will be moving into a brand new house.... which might be good (no other dog scents) or might cause some regression.
Also - he is intact - so I have to figure out what to do there as well - his champion lines might have made him a good breeding dog after clearances, if he was only normal. ha ha 
The real concern is doing anything that is going to hurt him physically, might only worsen his attitude/fearful demeanor.

I will start to take him to a couple of fun places in the car so he gradually learns to not be afraid of new things.
I am starting little agility games on our own, and am going to seek out a behaviorist as well - if not a day camp. (Not the PetCo type junk)

In just this little bit at a time - he’s already like a different dog than the first night though, and settling in nicely.

He also loves the camera and very photogenic if he could only learn to not come right up to the lens.... it takes a few attempts to get him framed right!


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## Macca (Aug 11, 2011)

What a sweet handsome boy! It sounds like he's getting comfortable with you quite quickly. Are there any vets in your area that make house calls? That could be a plus or minus depending upon how he reacts. I hope you keep posting updates and photos too, it's always interesting and educational to read about experiences with rescues.


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## Siandvm (Jun 22, 2016)

He is just so handsome! Thank you for taking him in/on.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

He is so sweet. You are doing a great job. I might be totally off here. You guys can correct me if I am. Is there a friend who has a very confident dog that could come over and spend time with him. I always heard that sometimes a very confident dog can help one like yours. Like i said I could be wrong but just a thought.


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

He is a very handsome boy. I am glad to hear he is settling in with your family


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

God Bless you for helping this beautiful guy!!!! You'll be rewarded for your kindness.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

What a great update. Sounds like things are going so well. 

For his shots, there are some vets who will make house calls. Might be good for the first check-up, just until you have him more secure about going different places.


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

Thanks for the input - I'm not entirely sure he wouldn't also be scared of a visitor vet coming inside the house (now his territory) - I just don't know yet as I've been keeping things calm and quiet for him in the first week and have had no one else inside the house or even up close around outside. He's not scared of people on the street while he's on a leash from what I've seen. I'm thinking of taking him to a pet store in advance of a shot clinic just to walk through and see how he does. 

I do have a friend with 2 golden doodles that might set up a play date. I don't know if she has a fenced yard though. All my girls had to have fences - as they all had big time wanderlust. Obi actually seems well trained - like he will follow and come when called outside, but I'm not taking that chance as I also know anything at all can spook him. A loose dog in FL gets eaten by gators or hit by a car. I'm also also a bit concerned about him being intact and loose with other dogs.


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

Probably not a bad idea to take him somewhere pet friendly or have someone who is dog crazy come over and meet him. Fitz's first vet visit he did great, but he didn't need any shots, so it was just the vet checking him out and giving him a million treats so of course he LOVED being there! 

It really sounds like you are doing a wonderful job getting him acclimated! Good call on not taking any chances, we kept Fitz leashed in our fenced in yard at first since we didn't know how he would do...

It's nice he wants his photo taken... my Georgie walks away when I try to take her picture lol!


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

I now have him set up for a visit from a doggie psychiatrist on Monday (Certified Dog Behavior Specialist) Not cheap, ($175 house call) but hopefully worth it.

Not that he's bad. We can leave for hours and he doesn't get in any trouble and he has really come around to us in one week's time. The thought is that with the eyes of a professional we'll have a better sense of what he needs in the long term to lose his jumpiness and impulses for flight when encountering "scary" things. Each day though we help him gently along to slightly breach the boundaries of his "scary zone" self imposed limits to learn that it's safe. Hopefully to learn that everything is safe when he is wth us at home - and ultimately take that to the outside world as well.

He has tons of energy so we play fetch with a racket ball outside in the pool area - fast and bouncy - but he's all over it - and brings it back and drops it to play again and again every time until he's out of steam.  Amazingly he hasn't jumped in the pool once (even if the ball goes in) - though there are many times he looks like he really wants permission to do it. lol

Small extra update - we had our first visitor to the house - all he did was try to keep away from them as much as possible and pace while watching from a distance. He wouldn't even come to me (near them) when they were here.


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Very beautiful picture. He looks great. I hope the visit with the doggie psychiatrist goes well and helps out. The links you shared for his sire and grandsire were interesting... particularly the grandsire owner as the president of The Retriever Club of Belgrade, Serbia.


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## sirbailey (Feb 6, 2016)

I just wish his main happy place wasn’t on the couch! 
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Obi is beautiful, and you are doing a great job, but I think he would feel so much better with a crate with door open. Why not give it a try ? Perhaps you could borrow one ( or even buy one, save receipt and return in a week if it didnt work out) Cheaper than doggie psychiatrist : )
Good Luck...Obi is gorgeous!


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

You are doing great! So beautiful. You can still see the caution in his eyes and the placement of the ears shows some tension but much better than the 1st pics. 
You might ask the behaviorist but IMO it would be better to have any procedures done someplace other than your house. He is still trying to adjust and home will be his safe place, let the uncomfortable stuff happen at the vets.
I'm so glad you took him in, poor baby is having to learn to trust people.. maybe for the 1st time.


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## Patti Ann (Feb 26, 2017)

Congrats on Obi! I followed you over to this thread after reading about your decision to adopt him. Looks like you thought carefully, and made a good decision. He seems like a wonderful addition to your home--not a bad thing that he's hit it off with your husband! 

A couple people mentioned crating him--it's not a practice done just to housebreak or control them when you're not home. If you introduce the crate with enthusiasm the dog will enjoy it. Stuffing him in there, latching the door, then running off on an appointment and he's sure to hate it. I had a crate for The Pirate when he was young and he quickly outgrew it. He also outgrew the need to be kept safe (from chewing stuff and getting into puppy mischief), but he still liked hanging out in his crate. Instead of a new crate, I bought him a tent--like a small camping tent. It's nylon, his dog bed fits inside, and with the door rolled back he can see what's going on in the room. I mention this crate/tent not because Obi needs to be contained, but because you're moving. 

We moved to a different house and found that the new surroundings, new noises, and new smells made Pirate a bit skittish and shy (which he never was before). But, when we set the tent up he suddenly used that as his familiar place. We really blundered into this--it wasn't our intended purpose, but it gave Pirate a place to hang out and venture from as he felt confident. The fact that Obi used the safe confines of your closet when he first came home seems to indicate that he might like a little cocoon to feel safe inside.

It seems that you have time before your move to create a place for Obi that would be his cave and comfort. My dogs have always slept in a corner or under a table or some sheltered area. Pirate typically (not always) sleeps in his tent--sometimes he sneaks up on the couch when he thinks we aren't watching--and we always pretend we don't see him. (Nothing a vacuum won't take care of!)


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

^^^ That is very true. For many dogs, a crate is a place of comfort and security. Often, you will see dogs go into their crates when they feel unwell. They want to feel safe. It's an instinct thing. And even crate-haters (see my post above) can come to like their crates. My pup never liked it at night - but she DID grow to like her day crate, and it became the place of security, so much that I had a hard time convincing her to stay OUT of it when she was ready. 

My first Golden, I probably would have left my crate up for her entire life, had I not moved when she was two, into an apartment that was too small to accommodate the crate. She had loved it from day one. She'd go into it when I was home, to nap or rest. It was just her place.


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

One step forward - ten steps back. I had some good news earlier this week, but today was a reality check.

Obi has been settling in around here nicely, and little by little the things he fears around the house are becoming more familiar and less threatening. We have good routines and he's eating well for the most part. Earlier in the week we even went to a Petco store (very scary and he wouldn't get out of the car) but after a bit of coaxing and hoisting him out he begrudgingly went along and we got him a new Martingale collar based on recommendations from one of the dog training people. Since things went OK once on the ground, I figured we would try a local park for a short walk - lots of other people and dogs were out and while he avoided the people he sort of liked it generally speaking.

Then we had our in home visit from the behaviorist. It was mostly supportive of what we're already doing. Some good ideas for additional things in part mirroring some of what's mentioned around here! Suggestions for going to *veterinary* behaviorist specialists and use of pharmaceuticals. It was a lot of theoretical talk and no working with him. He watched but kept a wide berth. She brought a Jack Russell with her in the car and we went outside with him and that helped break the ice and by the end he would come up to her a get a treat. Given time, he does come around to just about anyone - but never at first. All in all I think it was probably not overly helpful...

I had a few other visitors to the house this week - pretty much the same as before - extreme avoidance. We don't have many visitors unfortunately so it's not something he could be desensitized to with time and repetition. 

Today was a bad day though. Shot clinic day at the local strip mall pet store. I was hoping for too much I guess. He REALLY wouldn't get out of the car. Maybe he knew something was up. I sat on the back on the hatch (SUV) with him and coaxed him enough to get my arms around and hoist him out. Even on the ground he was panicking, but going along until we got near the big line and table. He wouldn't even go up the curb to the sidewalk in front - pure terror. I finally got him off the street and onto the curb and some lady in line tried to come up to him and he jumped back into the street with no thought of cars. I couldn't even get close enough to pick up a clipboard. They felt bad for me and handed one over, then we headed away from the chaos toward the end of the line and away from all the people - running and pulling as hard as he could. He's extremely strong! I tried to get him to move back towards the line, but realized it just was never going to happen for us. I set the clipboard down and took him home.

Not so sure one of our first times out and about should involve shots and terror anyway... But - He needs his vaccinations and a checkup, so we'll try a regular vet. Though for the first time I'm beginning to think we just may not be able to help him. I know - it's only been two weeks and whatever trauma happened is not going to go away overnight. It's depressing and very frustrating though, and I'm concerned I really don't have the skills to direct his recovery. The damage is deep. If he can't handle a vet, then I just don't know - and all we would be doing is reinforcing the bad thoughts of trips/visitors/people = pain/terror - even if they made house calls. :-(


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

Don't beat yourself up, he's just not ready for the deep end of the pool. He will get there.

When you have company you might put him on a leash and ask him to lay down then ask your guest to ignore him. Start telling him what a good boy he is as he begins to calm down. This sort of sets you up for being in control and limits him from making bad/fearful decisions. This takes time but it works. Once he can remain calm with guest you can ask them to give him a treat (even if they just set it on the floor near him) It's all about trust. 

You had the right approach on getting him out of the car but maybe start in your drive where he can learn to be successful. It's a controlled environment and a good trust building exercise.

As far as chaos situations just watch from afar. As his confidence and trust grows you can take a step closer. You will be able to feel his tension so just edge the envelope and stand their calmly for as long as it takes. When he relaxes consider this a triumph and leave (you can't leave until he is calm so plan for the extra time). Each visit you can stretch the comfort level just a little, don't engage just stand their calm (no verbal). You can even just sit down with him until he feels calmer when you see/feel the calm, hug him and leave. Your body language is far more effective than trying to sooth the panic.

I'm sure there are books out there to help you learn how to read his body language. Or you may already know how to do this. Feeling his energy will tell you when you can step a little closer to whatever you are trying to overcome. I'm excited for you both, he has the perfect person to help him and totally believe he can overcome all this with your help.

Just remember that kids in 1st grade aren't prepared to attend high school... pace yourself


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## Siandvm (Jun 22, 2016)

I am by no means a behavior expert, but perhaps I can offer a few tidbits from the veterinary perspective. Given how fearful he is, it is relatively unlikely he is going to come into contact with anything contagious in the short term. Therefore, I would focus on trying to help him with his fears with the goal of getting him in to a regular veterinary hospital (I am assuming you already have a regular vet you like, if not then that is something you can work on without Obi). I think (as it seems you do in hindsight) that a shot clinic is entirely too stressful with all the people, dogs, lines, open spaces, clipboards, etc. so your idea of doing his vaccines at a vet's office is the best option, but we don't want him to forever associate that with a bad experience, so I would recommend loading it up as a good experience first. 

This will involve enrolling the vet's office in your plan, so obviously you should talk to them in advance. Does he like getting into/driving in the car? If not, that's where you should start. I will assume that the car is not a problem and start with the vet office. You are going to take him every day if possible and give him treats and leave. Start no closer than he feels comfortable. If that is the parking lot before the clinic opens or after it closes, so be it. Eventually you will see if you can go in during their lunch hour when it should be quieter (call first). Give him treats inside, maybe weigh him (probably not because the scale will be scary). Enlist the front desk staff to give him treats. You see where I am going with this I assume? Eventually perhaps he can have an appointment for a physical exam (no shots might be a thought). All of this should be accompanied by copious treats!

This is a modified version of what I recommend for puppies who we do not want to develop a fear of the vet office. I always suggest that if they are out and about with the pup that they drop in for a treat and a pet and head out again. That way, the office does not always mean temps and shots. Obviously the fear is already established in Obi, so we have to start way further back than I do with pups. Your vet's office must be complicit in your plan, though, so I would recommend contacting them and asking how they can help you with the goal of getting him in there for an exam and his vaccines. 

I feel as if I rambled a bit. Let me know if I lost you.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Obi is 'suffering' from lack of socialization - positive experiences with the real world, - however, he is scared but he can be helped. It takes time and can be a slow process, but the rewards are immeasurable!! 

A resource I would recommend to you is the book: Love Has No Age Limit by Patricia McConnell - it may give you some insight as to what is going on with Obi and how to work with him. Another book : On Talking Terms with Dogs, by Turid Rugaas, can help you understand his body language, what he is 'saying' which will help to prevent or avoid putting him into situations he is not comfortable with. The website: Fearful Dogs.com may be helpful to you as well. 

One of the most important things we learn when working with a fearful dog is patience, patience and more patience, compassion, empathy - to see the world through our dog's eyes. We need to put aside what 'want' from them, (temporarily), avoid as much as possible making them do things that we think they 'should do' but are frightening for them, and take the time to discover what they are able to 'offer' us and build on that using reward based training methods, or simply rewarding (praise and/or treats) behaviors that we like and want them to repeat. It is a whole new world for both the dog and the adopter, but creating a good life, which may come with some 'limitations' and a powerful friendship and bond with a fearful dog is one of the most amazing experiences one can have in life.
I have had my fearful dog for almost 8 years, couldn't even touch him for quite some time after he first arrived, the journey to where we are today has been absolutely amazing and so rewarding!! I had doubts in the beginning, was afraid that I couldn't 'do it' right, had no idea 'how' to do it, made mistakes, (he was pretty forgiving) and learned with many successes, a few setbacks where I had to try again, along the way. 
It may not be a journey that some would choose to travel, it is a commitment, it does take a ton of learning there are some excellent resources out there, reward based training is the only way to work with them, a ton of patience, and can take a lot of time, but speaking for myself, every moment I have spent working with my dog has been 'worth it'!


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

Charliethree recommends some books that have been very helpful in dealing with my fearful boy. I think the hardest lesson to learn is to not push too hard or fast, but rather take it at your pups pace. It is certainly challenging and not for everyone, but so rewarding when you see the look of trust on your pups face. Learning to be ok with steps forward and backward is important. Focus on the positives and learn from the negatives. Your dog is communicating with you all the time. We just don't always pick up on the signals.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Just looking through your updates on Obi and he really is doing good except for him being timid at the shot clinic. That might have been too much for him -- it sounds like there were a lot of people. Do you have any vets that make house calls in your area? Of course if he stays clear of visitors that might not work either. Maybe just going to a regular veterinary clinic, if there is not a lot of activity around the building he might just surprise you and waltz in. The fact that he likes to play ball and brings it back to you sounds like someone played fetch with him, maybe he just wasn't around a lot of other people or possibly something happened. He's eating and trusts you enough to want to be around you. Is he food motivated enough that if you have someone over and they just happen to have something good with them he might be interested? I think you're making progress but it's hard for you to see the gains you've made because you're with him all day. One day at a time.


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

Please don't be hard on yourself. Like others have mentioned, it was most likely too much too soon. 

He has come pretty far in just two weeks, and he will continue to progress - it just will take more positive reinforcement - Siandvm's idea about getting him used to the vet - or going anywhere really - is great. He needs to learn that good things come from the car and places. 

Take a deep breath and try not to be discouraged!


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

Siandvm: Thanks for the input on this. The car is not too much of a problem unless we go somewhere he doesn't like - then he refuses to get out. I like the idea of weaning him onto visits to the vet. All at once would probably be impossible. Just hoping he does't soon get the routine staph our Phoebe always got from weed allergies in FL.

Short term, he needs to get on monthly Trifexis. Unknown if they will prescribe it without seeing him first, but worth a shot. If not we just pray he doesn't get fleas I guess!

Meanwhile we're planning on getting out a lot more in situations with people and with dogs - lots of times so he can learn it's not the end of the world.


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

Big ball in the pool video

We are thinking of renaming Obi - to Phobi - since he's scared of everything! A ball in the pool got lots of barking and whacks with the paw from our Phoebe - Obi runs away from it because it's super scary. 

I took some damp shirts out of the dryer a few minutes ago and hung them on a high bar iin my walk in closet to finish with no wrinkles - you would think they turned into monsters - absolutely terrifying. lol I showed him the shirts before I hung them. Took them down and showed him again before putting them back up... it only helped just a very little.

Phobi sounds the same as Obi, right?


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

iGirl said:


> Big ball in the pool video
> 
> We are thinking of renaming Obi - to Phobi - since he's scared of everything! A ball in the pool got lots of barking and whacks with the paw from our Phoebe - Obi runs away from it because it's super scary.
> 
> ...


To be honest I didn't see fear in the ball in the pool video. I saw a little apprehension, curiosity and a lot of bravery. My 12 year old who is very socialized has a few quirks regarding our pool, he won't even go in the pool area. Obi is a gorgeous dog, and you are doing a great job with him. Be patient, he will get there.


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

Please be patient with Obi. His whole world has changed upside down in the last 3 weeks. He doesn't understand how great his world can be. He just knows that he's in a new situation and doesn't understand the rules yet.

This could take months for him to gain confidence. If you're expecting things to fall into place sooner you may be setting both yourself and him up for disappointment...

My rescue was afraid of a garbage bag being opened, the grill when I put a new cover on it. He would bark and growl at any change. Fearful dogs need routine and consistency.

Obi doesn't have just a mild case of anxiety; he is very fearful. If you're able to open to the possibility of looking at the world from his point of view it might change things considerably for you.

He is reading you every step of the way. He will pick up if you are expecting him to "do more" and it will make him more anxious. He is still trying to figure out if he can trust you. I would keep his world small at first; if you start exposing him to the big wide world when he can barely handle a ball in the pool, you're not going to help him build confidence.

He is such a sweet looking boy and I want nothing but the best for him and you.


ETA - while the article is geared towards a new foster, a lot of the principles would apply to new adoptees.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8331986


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## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

How funny, I remember the first time I came out of the bathroom with a towel on my head... you would have thought I was godzilla! He'll figure this out, it's a whole lot of new for him.

Just a thought, you say he's pretty good about getting out of the car unless it's some place that overwhelms him. Maybe you could go some place like that and just sit with him, without taking him out. Could be after a few times it won't seem so overwhelming??


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## Tosh's Legacy (Oct 2, 2013)

Just checking up on you and Obi and hoping that all is progressing well with him.

Please let us know how he is adjusting.


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## Sophie90 (Mar 22, 2017)

my4goldens said:


> To be honest I didn't see fear in the ball in the pool video. I saw a little apprehension, curiosity and a lot of bravery. My 12 year old who is very socialized has a few quirks regarding our pool, he won't even go in the pool area. Obi is a gorgeous dog, and you are doing a great job with him. Be patient, he will get there.


I agree - he seemed worried, but also a little curious. I also heard the plane overheard - the noise might be intimidating, too! If it's a new experience, maybe his doggie mind was uncertain is the ball was making that noise?

Echoing thoughts that others are sharing about positive reinforcement, I don't know if praising him around the 30-38 second mark of your video would have encouraged him or distracted him. He was definitely exploring. 

Hang in there. I can't imagine how frustrating it is to know what kind of life Phoebe experience and want to give that to Obi, and to have Obi not be where you can envision him being. You're doing a great job! After reading about the shot clinic, even though it was probably too much, you might have experienced something similar with a puppy. I'll be keeping y'all in my thoughts and prayers as adjustments and obstacles are faced.


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## Mayabear (Aug 26, 2015)

I have been following this thread and think you are doing a great job. 

My Maya probably came from a backyard breeder. Although she was in our home since 9 weeks and we have done everything to socialise her, she remains on the fearful end of the spectrum. Being new to golden retrievers and dog parenting/ownership in general, I did not understand the importance of patience. I expected things from a fearful dog, probably lacked the requisite amount of empathy from time time, and (though I hate to admit it) probably added to her fearfulness.

Maya is now 28 months old. She still gets spooked by certain things, things that she has seen and experienced every day, but can still catch her off guard. What has changed is that I do not have expectations from her. Sure, I would like to walk down a certain path, but if something bothers her and she stops, I won't force her. Ill look at her, tell her its ok, but turn around if she wants.

If you have patience, and you most certainly will need it, it will do wonders. When you lack patience/show frustration either thru actions, words, or even an upset grunt, your dog will sense it. 

I think you are doing a wonderful job working thru the challenges.


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## Mayabear (Aug 26, 2015)

The ball in the pool video - I saw a little nervousness (yawns - sometime Maya will do), some anxiety, but also a lot of curiosity and bravery. 

When Obi is unsure and his body seems to move closer to the ground, that could very easily be Maya as well. She seems to react that way in certain situations too.


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

*1 Month Now*

Hi all - just checking in at the 1 month point. Obi has progressed at least a bit if not a lot - I can't really tell how much from the inside looking out. He has really adjusted and seems to like his new life. Around the house he's probably at a 85% confidence level, though there are some things which still scare him. Mainly Large/tall things and tight spaces. He loves chasing the bouncy racketballs - but it's pure terror if it goes in spots like in these pics. lol It's like doggie claustrophobia - or fear of large adjacent objects coming to life and getting him or something. There are things he wouldn't do - and by accompanying him, with some coaxing he will venture forth into the danger areas. We just keep doing this - and he gets gradually desensitized. The question is - will this help him with these challenges overall in life - or just for the specific areas/things? Unknown.... but it can't hurt!

The same thing with us - he's completely used to us now and is a velcro dog to me. He still fears people though. I've had some visitors, and taken him places to visit people and he won't go near them. I have had good luck with repeat visits to our house, and him warming up to them. I've also taken him to the local park a few times where there are people and dogs together - this also seems to break the ice for him a bit - he's fine with the dogs but still fears the people. I'm just going to keep on doing these things. There is an off leash dog park for the community we are moving to - that will give him more chances to socialize. Also I have a friend with 2 golden doodles and we will have a play date sometime. I do think if he was regularly around a happy, outgoing confident golden mentor, he would pick up on that and learn that life is OK and there is very little to fear. We will have to do it soon though because the weather is about to turn into a steaming swamp for the next 7+ months. 

Steady as it goes - we'll get there. Small digestible bits. Soon we will start visiting the vet's office - just visit and leave - then repeat. Each time we'll add a bit more, saying hello, getting weighed, getting a treat. Eventually we'll work up to getting vaccinations. I was considering changing vet's when we move but the one we have now is a very quiet calm office that's really just an old house. We never have to wait and there's never any other pets in the lobby. For Obi, thats a good thing so we'll probably just make the 30 minute drive. The main DVM is also really good - plus they don't ever upsell or over test - which in this day and age is a refreshing experience.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

I keep checking for posts on Obi and was happy to see this! It sounds like he is doing really well. Odd about not attempting to get a ball that lands close to the wall! I can see the one between two tall plants, he might feel that they are too close. But if he is happy and comfortable overall that's the main thing. Sometimes dogs just have these little quirks and since it's just a month in he might overcome that with time. He's still relatively young, so more than likely he will outgrow this as he gets used to his surroundings. Was he kept inside the home? He couldn't have been exposed to many people or household items even.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

So happy to see he is doing well. 

He may well have a form of claustrophobia, depending on where and how he was kept before he came to you. It may get better - it may not. I wouldn't push anything. Just act totally natural and confident, and hopefully he'll pick up on your signals. 

I think he's doing great for one month with you. The socialization is great for him. Make sure he doesn't get overwhelmed - keep the park visits short and positive. One month is a pretty short period of time - I'm sure he'll just grow more and more confident with love and patience.


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

I'm so happy to hear that Obi is progressing. Nothing wrong with slow and steady progress. Little by little is always a good way to go.

You are doing a great job with him!!!


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

Obi's first time out cruisin'  He liked it but was glad to get back home... In the 2nd pic we were parked - so he was happier!


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

Awww he really is so cute!! I'm sure the convertible is a little bit of an odd experience for him - but he looks so good in it!!


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## iGirl (Oct 5, 2009)

1st Anniversary - It's been one year today since Obi came into our lives. - he's still far from "cured", and may never be - but what a difference. We continue to work with him on socialization and confidence. He's just turned 3 years old and is still skittish around strangers and terrified of children, large machines, and even bicycles - In some cases I can gently coax him to come closer and smell the scary things before we move on. So, he's a work in progress but is so much happier and more confident than before. He's really enjoying life and has his little routines and expectations.

We just keep giving him small challenges regularly, but never force anything, and he's learning bit by bit that the world he is now in, is a safe place. He just loves to cuddle too - he's thinks he's a lap dog sometimes - more than any of my previous generations of goldens - Jackie, Penny, Phoebe - we loved them all!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Really glad you posted an update, he looks great. 
Sounds like he has come such a long way and is continuing to make progress.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

What a nice and happy surprise to see your update on Obi!! I've thought about him so often. Happy Anniversary and I wish you many, many more. He's a handsome boy.


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

Just read through the thread and wanted to say you've done a great job with Obi. Bless you.


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