# Too soon?



## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

You gave Clare a wonderful life, I can tell that from your words. Putting a dog down is a very personal decision. As long as Clare's best interest was at heart, you did what was best for her. It is the toughest part of opening our hearts up and love our pets. I had to put both of mine down a little over a year ago; but I think it's better one day too early, than one minute too late. I am so sorry for your loss, hugs to you...


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## MyMaggieGirl (Nov 12, 2008)

Many times I've heard "better too soon, than too late." In other words, had you waited and the tumors ruptured, it would be too late.

I know how you feel, I made the appointment and that day my girl could walk again, made a liar out of me. But I knew that burst of energy was short lived.

Don't beat yourself up. You did what was right for your Clare, you gave her the ultimate gift of love by taking her pain and discomfort away.

Be gentle on yourself. Most of us here totally understand. When you can, post some photos of Clare or tell us more about her.


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## Misbe-Haven (Mar 30, 2015)

Absolutely not. You did the right thing. Letting your dog go was very unselfish and kind of you. If you had continued to let her suffer through what was obviously a painful time for her, for selfish reasons, then you'd have maybe done something wrong. Good for you for being brave enough to say goodbye before you were ready, and keeping her the priority. 

I'm very very sorry for your loss. Having only just gotten my first dog (I've had dogs when growing up but they were never mine) I don't know what it is to lose my own furbaby yet, but I did lose my Mom to cancer about a year and a half ago, and it's devastating to watch a loved one suffer. 

I hope that my reply was helpful in assuaging some of your guilt. You did nothing wrong, you did what you could under the circumstances. Take your time to grieve.


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## 02pinetree (Nov 17, 2014)

I'm sorry for your loss. The decision you made was done to keep a good friend from suffering. I cried everyday too until I was having multiple migraines and then decided that wasn't what Murphy would have wanted. Sometimes the guilt was awful and also not what I believe our little friends would want.

It's easy to second guess after the fact and so lonely and painful without them. You are not alone. Reading posts on this forum helped me get through it and hopefully will be a source of encouragement for you too.


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## *t* (Oct 22, 2014)

What you did was selfless. You gave her a peaceful transition and saved her from a world of pain. Her last memory was of love and not pain. 

(((Big Hugs))) Post some pictures of Miss Clare so we can celebrate her life.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

No honey, you didn't let her go too soon. You let her go, and relieved her pain, when you saw her hurting. You did the kindest, most loving thing. I'm so sorry she had to go. 

It is so natural for us to question and feel guilty. It's part of the grieving. But I hope you will be kind to yourself and remember the good times you had with her, and know that you loved her enough to stop her pain.


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## Goldylover2 (May 1, 2014)

You made the right decision. You spoiled her for one week and made the best of it. You should have no regrets.


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Dear Jende2, 
I'm so very very sorry to hear about your Clare. It sounds like she was really struggling and I'm glad that you had some time to love her and spoil her with chicken and rice. I completely understand what you are saying and feeling about questioning if the timing was right. We all question that... your thoughts are completely normal. You are Clare's beloved person and you stepped up when she needed you, so kind to help her when she was in pain, and making sure that she did not experience even more pain that may have occurred had her tumor ruptured. You did everything right.

Prayers and hugs for comfort.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

First I am so sorry for your loss. This is a normal feeling after putting your animal down. Three months ago we had jake put down and my mom still questions herself. What if he would of came out of this bleeding episode like he did the previous week. These are normal feelings. Don't be to hard on yourself.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Jende*

Jende

You did the right thing-the kindest and most unselfish thing, because you loved Clare. My hubby and I have made the same decision in the past at least four times now. We always promised our dogs they would never suffer.

I will add Clare to the 2015 Rainbow Bridge List, if you email me the date she went to the bridge, your screen name and her name.

Karen519
[email protected]


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

It was not too soon. You loved on her her whole life and you loved on her at the end. It was the right time and you were brave and selfless to let her go. Be at peace with your decision because it was the right one.


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## pholter (Jan 24, 2015)

I think only you know the right answer as to what Clare needed-- I too suffered with the same question though. To me, it sounds like you loved her very much and you gave her a great life. I do believe that she was most likely telling you it was time or it was OK to let her go as well. it's the most selfless thing we can do for our furkids when they are sick and have no possibility of getting any better. (((hugs)))


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I went through this with Boomer. The emergency vet found free blood in his abdomen and mets through his lungs, yet wanted me to take him home that night. I had already put him through the two-hour ride to the EV...I wasn't going to let him bleed out in the back of my car on the way home. Even if we had made it, I would have been risking his suffering just to delay my pain from losing him.

I know I did the right thing, just as you did. But I questioned it for days and some kind person here said that questioning this terrible decision is part of the grieving process, and she was right.

Be gentle with yourself. You did right by your girl when she needed it most and there is no harder test of love.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry you found us under such sad circumstances.

I'm so sorry for your loss of your precious Clare.
What you are experiencing, you questioning whether or not you let Clare go too soon, is a natural part of the grieving process.

Many of us have been through it several times, fortunately we as pet parents have the choice of letting our beloved goldens pass peacefully before they are suffering too much. If only humans had that choice.

I personally feel it is better to let them pass peacefully before they get to the point where they are really suffering. It's the hardest decision I've had to make, it never gets any easier regardless of how many times you're faced with this decision. It's unbearable to think of not having them in your life anymore, but for me it was even more unbearable to see my pets suffering.

Letting her go is the ultimate gift of love you could give Clare. She is now whole, running freely, no longer in pain or suffering.

She will always be with you, she will forever hold a special place in your heart. She has taken a piece of your heart with her and will hold it until you are reunited again one day.

My thoughts are with you as you begin this journey for your heart to heal and to find peace.

Godspeed Clare


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## jende2 (Mar 31, 2015)

Thank you all for your kind replies, and for coming to my aid so quickly. You are all so thoughtful. 

I am grieving, and am still not at peace with my decision yet. I will hopefully get there.
What I mean when I write "too soon", is that Clare was not yet "that bad". With all due respect, I know that some people hang on for a long time, and in the mean time the pet suffers.

Clare was heading down that path - I could see it - and I didn't want it to get "that bad" for Clare. Was she is pain? Yes. Was she suffering? Yes. It wasn't "terrible" yet, but I knew that it would get to that point. It was like I was postponing the inevitable.....

I don't know what's worse - watching her be sick, or putting her to sleep. She was such a lively dog all her life: running, swimming, playing with her toys, chewing her bones, etc. She loved life! And to see her in the condition she was in - although not "terrible" yet - broke my heart. And I knew that there was nothing down the road for her but more of that kind of life. And to think that her tumor could have ruptured, and she would bleed out, and I perhaps wouldn't be there with her because I work full-time, and she would die alone, etc. It scared me. I felt that it was better that I have one good, loving, last week with her, and then allow her to die in peace and dignity. I hope that this makes sense. It is such a difficult judgement call.

My one consolation was that she really lived a good life of 11 years. We did everything together, and I can honestly say that I never neglected her. She was my baby, and I made sure that I spent time with her and gave her lots of love and attention and treats and toys and walks, etc.

I know that I need to work this all out in my heart and in my mind. Thank you for being patient with me and allowing me to post here. Thanks, too, to all of you who took the time to write words of comfort and assurance to me. This is tough.........


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

We have had to make that decision too many times and every time we wonder whether it was too soon. Your sweet girl was telling you it was time and she was ready. You gave her a gift of freedom from the suffering that was going to happen. She is still with you but just in a different way. You are in my thoughts.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

We wouldn't leave jake alone either. We were scared he would bleed out and nobody would be there. I gave up getting my hair cut and let my parents go get theirs done at my aunts so somebody would be there. When he did bleed out the last time I can't imagine if we wouldn't have been there. You did the right thing. With time you will have peace about your decision. Three months later my mom still questions herself.


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## Vicky Carter (Mar 17, 2021)

jende2 said:


> I know that this probably a ridiculous question, but is it possible to put down a dog "too soon"?
> 
> Clare would have turned 11 years old today. At the beginning of March, I noticed that she was panting heavily, would walk VERY slowly on our walks, and she started to refuse to eat, until one day, she didn't eat at all - not even people food. She would lay outside in the snow on her belly, and would not want to come in.
> 
> ...


You 100% did the right thing.
she was there for you.
you were there for her even though it was hard.


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