# Ouch, that Hurt!



## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

Had our 4th conformation class last night and my girl is behind the adults, but I think she is progressing (6 mo old) well. I knew when I got her that her color (she is a light golden) would prohibit her from AKC, so unless I show Int'l shows (I'm in Tx) I cant get to KC shows. I honestly like taking the conf. classes and being with other dog people. We do obedience one day a week and conformation one day. 

A lady came up to us after class, older with a beautiful golden and told me she would appreciate it if I took that "Aboration" to another training facility! YIKES! I explained we would not show AKC, and I was aware Kye was not a favored color, but that she & I loved the training and spending time together. She told me that light goldens shouldn't be allowed to carry AKC registry and they were giving the "Real" goldens in show a bad name. Said that I was taking time from the other dogs who "aheared to the standard" by being there.

Would you that attend conformation classes, feel the same about a lighter golden being in your class? My girl is a nice one (per the retired Judge doing the class) and we enjoy the class, training & learning grooming with my dog very much. (Our teacher speakes to us about nutrition & grooming our dogs for show-like this part a lot!). Though we cannot show AKC, I was not leaving out showing Int'l if she matures into what I would want to take into the ring as an adult. 

Is it incorrect to be in this class and should I pull us both since we cannot compete in AKC? I honestly never considered the minutes each class we get individual attention, that we were taking away from others who DO show AKC. Was this lady just way out of line or is she justified?? I know there is a big problem with the lighter goldens, but enough hatred to be yelled at for attending a class, because of my girls birth color, was extreme to me. The class has 7-8 med sized dogs in it and 3 are goldens (including us). Though I would normally just continue with our class, I honestly don't want to be offensive but also don't want to be bullied into leaving a class we enjoy. 

I'm a Texan - Guess she was lucky I didn't cold cock her! That "Aboration" is my baby to me, a purebred golden and working really hard to please, but again if we should not be attending, of course I will pull us. 

Im tough and won't be offended, and really need your imput on this before class next week.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

I'm NOT a Texan but would have told her to shove her opinions up her Arse and get the He$$ out of my face! Who is she to tell you what class you can take or cannot take? I'm assuming you have a paid spot for this class...she should not give a rats arse who is in that spot. And to insult your dog because of its color??? I certainly hope this is not the norm. I would never be able to handle such snobs...

I would also report her to the instructor as soon as possible and refuse to speak to her again.....


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

You and your pup have the right to be in that class as much as any other team. That person was out of line to suggest otherwise.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Wow, I would say that she is _way_ out of line. Even if your girl had no tail was 18 inches tall, she still would have been out of line .... and light colored goldens are most certainly allowed.

Whoeee, I am surprised you refrained from asking her exactly where it is she lost her manners and common decency!!


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## Ninde'Gold (Oct 21, 2006)

You're better than me, I would've punched her in the face and said "F You, YOU'RE an Aboration" :lol:

I don't think you should let one snotty person throw you off from it. Though I've never been around dog shows so what do I know!


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Wowzer! How rude can one be! I would in no way let her intimidate you... she's a moron! If she approaches you again, I'd talk to the instructor. Come to think of it, I think I'd talk to her ( the instructor) now and tell her how hurt and offended you were.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

I look at it this way.

The woman that spoke to you like that has absolutely no class. Anything that you and your dog do together is creating a bond between the both of you. Taking that class is benefiting both you and your baby. You are both learning.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

Wow! Another participant (not an instructor or organizer) has the gall to tell you to leave??? I think I would have told her where to stick her long nose and it is where the sun doesn't shine. Sheesh... 

The sponsors of this took your money and didn't refund it and tell you to go away so you are entitled to receive what you paid for. You aren't required to put up with this person's "color" prejudice. It's none of her DOG GONE BUSINESS!!


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## lgnutah (Feb 26, 2007)

No way should you be intimidated by her and her rude behavior. 
I also believe you should advise the instructor about what she said. She may possibly have made snide remarks to other class members, and this could impact class attendance and might keep those participants from recommending this class to others.


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## Tahnee GR (Aug 26, 2006)

Way out of line, in my opinion! You have every right to be in that class and if you enjoy it, I would continue attending.

If she keeps on being so rude, I would talk to the person in charge of the class. No excuse for that.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I would not directly confront her. I would discuss her with the instructors and facility people who are taking your money. And I would keep attending classes. 

Her approaching you in that fashion was just as much in bad taste as if somebody in obedience classes walked up to somebody with a breed of dog not known for obedience and told that person to drop out.


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

I've run into prejudice with Chance, also. It's unfortunate, but it happens. 

Just hold your head up and stay in the class. Don't ever let anyone do or say anything to keep you from what you enjoy. She was a rude biatch that doesn't even deserve you thinking about her or what she said. At the next class, walk in and make sure she sees you...then wave at her and have a big 'ol smile on your face. :wavey:


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

Thank you for your honesty and allowing me to vent and (duh) Kye "is" light and YES I understand that this color is not favored at the shows, but training in anything is time spent with your dog and feel learning is always valuable. 

Yes I do pay for the class. It was $50 to sign up and $7 per class. I show a German toy breed in In'tl shows (we are not AKC yet but in FSS) so understand the feelings and felt I was prepared, but to be told my girl shouldn't be allowed AKC registration was a lot to hear. I AM working hard to have people see she is just a golden, abet one that is lighter than they are used to, but a golden nontheless. Just wasn't prepared for such a deep hatred because of her color.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

The woman was being an a#$. Ignore her, or better yet tell her she's being and [email protected]# if she says anything to you again.

Did you pay your fee for the class? Did the organization giving the class allow you enroll? Of course or you wouldn't be there. You are as entitled to be in that class gaining as much information from it as any other person enrolled.

And if you want to show her in AKC, go for it.


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## Kmullen (Feb 17, 2010)

I am just in awe!! I would love to know who that was!! If it was a breeder that said that, I will make sure I steer away from her  How disrespectful!! I would have not bitten my tongue. You are a better person that I could be with that. I would tell or email the instructor about what happened. They need to know.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

This k9data source was taken from the Talini thread of a dog who is a champion and quite light: Pedigree: Am./Can. CH. Goldtreve Sydney Traveler

Also, please read Harborviews post light colored goldens not being penalized and being represented at the National. http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...er-breeder-puppy/104710-talini-goldens-7.html post #69.


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

You, my dear friends are priceless, don't think I have laughed so much in years! My ignorance is showing when I admit I have never attended conformation classes before. With my toy breed, I went to shows for many months and just copied and worked at home, crawled out of my first ring, worked some more, and kept entering until we had it. With my golden, I wanted to be correctly shown how to present for the larger breeds, so found a class. Kye had to go through a pre-exam with the teacher and we discuss many things she looks for in show goldens, never once mentioned her color being a factor. She knew I was going to hopefully show in the Int'l shows, so perhaps it just didn't seem relevant. This is a class, just didn't have any idea that I would be approached so rudely, but being new to this, I also didn't want to be in a class I should not attend. I should say that the others in the class are all being shown and they use the class as refresher courses. Our teacher/trainer is a tough one and we get a hard work-out in her class. I really like her cause she is not a "yes" person, but critiques us with hard honesty, but kindness. Feel we are learning a lot from her.

Think we will do more for our Beautiful GR breed by continuing our class with our head held high and hopefully seeing her each week, get others to be more forgiving of color and see her as just a golden who happens to be lighter. Know I will be much better equiped if/when that ole bag trys to be mouthy again. Thank you all again for your thoughts and if I ever need some soul mates, I know who to ask!


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## Bogart (Nov 14, 2009)

Hm, there is one born every day. I wonder if she is jelous of your dog and worried that she'll turn out better then hers. How bumb can you be. 
I was thinking about takeing Cooper to some Conformation classes since for now he still has his little ding- ga-ling-ga-lings:. Sometimes I'm mad at myself to have neutered Bogart he is such a kindhearted dog. I wouldn't have trouble with marking or with other males (All my dogs have been spayed before). With Cooper I'm going to take the wait and see aproach.
Why would the AKC not accept a light color Golden? There are more light color goldens now in Conformation then dark Golden once. I think the dark Goldens have a really hard time in the Conformation Ring.


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## Loisiana (Jul 29, 2009)

I wish I could drive my over-25 inch and 21 inch males over to that class so she could tell me that my dogs should not be registered! Neither would be accepted in a breed ring of ANY venue, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be registered, and doesn't mean they/I can't still train if we want to. The nerve!


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## canine_mommy (Dec 27, 2010)

I would have told her to shut the hell up... and mind her own business. She has no right to tell you whether or not to attend the class. If the training facility or instructor had a policy, then it's different, but I'm sure they wouldn't either since that would be discriminating. Another person taking the class really has no business telling you what to do or calling your baby an aberration...


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## K9-Design (Jan 18, 2009)

I would love to know who this is! Goodness. I can't imagine anyone who was experienced in the show ring behaving like that. You just keep going to the class if you enjoy it, and tell her to shove off!!!


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

I agree, your "classmate" is "class less"... stay in the class and learn...


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## attagirl (Aug 11, 2011)

Don't let her bully you. Enjoy your class and let her stew in her own misery.:FIREdevil


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## hvgoldens4 (Nov 25, 2009)

You have just as much right to be in a class as anyone else does. I am really shocked that another participant in the class would have the gall to say this to you.

Her opinion was not asked for and therefore, not warranted. I would only leave the class if the instructor asked you to leave and it sounds as if that person has no problem with you being there.

Go back to class and enjoy your time with your girl!!!


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

Again, Thank you. I can hold my own with the old bitty, but really needed to hear how you fellow golden lovers would feel with a lighter golden in your class with you. I need to add that the few people I have meet at class, have thought the lighter color was very pretty (after I explained she wasn't a pyrenese). I think Kye is the only lighter golden at this place as I have seen none in our obedience classes either. I know her color is different, but wouldn't want to offend my breed mates by being there if this wasn't acceptable. Now I know it is...I can handle the rest.


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## Our3dogs (Apr 3, 2008)

As they say, some people never cease to amaze us! If she comes up to you again, I would just say - "Though I don't remember asking your opinion, clearly this bothers you, so let's go talk to the instructor about this together". I like what someone said about getting her attention when you walk into the next class and be sure to wave at her like she is your best friend. HA! I would definitely bring it to the instructors attention. I am sure they would not appreciate another person hijacking their business.


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## HiTideGoldens (Dec 29, 2009)

Wow. People are unbelievable. I would definitely tell the instructor, I'm sure they wouldn't be happy to know that a member of their class is discouraging other participants from attending. I don't care who she is, she is not the spokesperson for the golden community or the AKC.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

what a shrew...


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

"Kill her with kindness." Is what my mother always used to say. However, I haven't quite mastered it yet, but continue to work at it. NOTHING should ever keep you from enjoying time with your beloved golden. When we are "in the moment," and someone says something way off, it is challenging to be clear headed to know how to reply without getting emotional. Your money is just as green and you are entitled to be a participant, so continue the class. A whisper in the instructor's ear is in order.


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## jtom (Jan 31, 2011)

WOW!! all I can say is how rude. You have every right to go to class just like she does. 

If your dog is not white but is light golden you have every right to show her/him in AKC as well. There are many light goldens that are shown in AKC. In fact Ken and Wayne of Chuchanut goldens (home of Andy 2006 Westminster group one winner) have been showing a very light golden this past year. Ken and Wayne are very respected in Washington and Oregon. There are several judges out there that prefer the light goldens find out who they are then show your dog to them. 

Good luck and above all have fun and don't let her get to you.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

I am a big fan of "killing someone with kindness", I practice it all of the time.... it breaks the tension.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

I would have been speechless if someone said that to me. Kudos to you for keeping your cool.


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

Think I was successful. Went at this from 2 sides. First I made a visit Sat. to the center and talked a bit to our teacher. So secondly, I turned on the "Southern Charm". When we arrived last night, there were 4 goldens & owners all standing together. I just marched Kye and myself right into the group and was animated and upbeat, introduced myself and asked lots of questions about their better preforming dogs. In class Kye missed a turn (strayed too far) and I stopped in place and asked "Louise" (that old bitty) to show me what to do. She puffed up and did so (think she liked the attention), she smiled and nodded at me after she showed me what I did wrong. Really think this is just a lonely soul who just needed to know she is still valued. Now to work on her color prejudices, but give me time! 

As far as AKC conf. Kye is very light (like her father now) but starting to be much more creamish. Her Mom was golden, but light, so hoping she goes this color when her adult coat comes in. Feel she will do better just training and see what she looks like as she matures before I pick which venue we might like to pursue. But love the conformation training as it works more on ME versus obedience where I feel is more for the dog and trainer as a team. "I" must learn how to present her in her best light and get her to do this. Crazy, but after obedience training and all the work, this is calming for us.

The old bitty I think just needs a spoonful of TLC with a dash of respect. 

Thank each of you again for your thoughts, meant a lot,and know now that the sky is the limit! Really appreciate it and will continue to take whatever class looks fun and interesting for us.


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## sterregold (Dec 9, 2009)

Penny & Maggie's Mom said:


> This k9data source was taken from the Talini thread of a dog who is a champion and quite light: Pedigree: Am./Can. CH. Goldtreve Sydney Traveler


I believe that Syd got one of his majors for his CH at a specialty in Oklahoma last fall with a WD/BOW. Maybe that's where she got her shorts in a knot.... 

Syd has done well in the show ring. He now has GCh points, as well. He does well under breeder judges as will most dogs who have good structure and movement and are within the allowable colour _range_. Those variations are one of the beauties of the breed.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Sounds like you did just the right thing! Congratulations on being the bigger person there with the happier dog...her dog can't possibly be as happy as yours because her dog doesn't have YOU for a mom! Keep up the good work!


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## GoldenSail (Dec 30, 2008)

People never cease to disappoint. If this woman was willing to be so upfront with her unwelcome opinions I would personally steer clear of her. You don't the gossipers/whiners/etc as your friends. You want the smart but humble ones


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## Gwen (Aug 9, 2007)

Absolutely Classless! I would have said to her that she should read the AKC golden retriever breed standards and pay particular attention to the section regarding colour!!! and then I would have walked away but turned to see how many flies she caught in her open mouth!:bowl:

Unfortunately too many of these people exist in the conformation world and this could be one of the reasons that there is a very serious decline in registrations at shows!


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

Sadly Gwen, you are right. Over the years I am seeing many more leave AKC conformation for the Int'l shows. There is a lot of politics in various areas from what they say and many really nice dogs have gone Int'l or agility and rally instead. Sad cause conformation is really fun and most of the people I have met are really fantastic, humble and very personable. Amazing to see at the Int'l show the increase in AKC breeds & love having bigger shows, but know many do use the Int'l shows to brush up for upcoming AKC shows, so honestly can't say why the increase. 

I just want to have fun with my dogs and was familiar with conformation so signed up for the class. But honesty propells me to say if the class (with 4 goldens) would ALL have been negative, I would have probably pulled Kye and found another class. Good to say that the other golden people have been very kind and call Kye a "Ghost" Golden. That's OK with me! She is also refered to as a "Coffee-latte" by a dach. owner! If nothing else, I have exposed others to their first light colored golden and they are finding she is 100% golden in every way except color. We are having fun and working hard, so this is much more than enough for us!


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## Bell (Jan 23, 2010)

Wow,that's rude!I guess you know,that if this lady were in Europe,she would be looked at as something...strange at the least.Most of the goldens here are very light.There are some so light,that can be even refered to as ''white''.And all people think they are more than gorgeous.They are my favourites too.Such light dogs are not so often.Most goldens are cream/light gold.So is mine.And when a dark golden appears,it's almost a hollyday.They are just as beautiful,and not so often seen.And i think there's no place for colour discrimination here.We like all goldens,i believe.Such rude woman..


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

Deber said:


> Sadly Gwen, you are right. Over the years I am seeing many more leave AKC conformation for the Int'l shows. There is a lot of politics in various areas from what they say and many really nice dogs have gone Int'l or agility and rally instead.


A long time ago I went with a friend of mine to a UKC show and it was really fun. It was very casual and everyone was so nice. One group was waiting in line to go into the ring and a guy's lead broke. The woman in front of him sent her son, right away, to grab one of her extra ones for him to use. There were at least a couple of other people that were ready to do the same. Also, the judges would talk to the exhibitors at length about their dogs. They had BBQs going and it just seemed very family oriented. 

I don't know if it's still like that, but I really enjoyed the atmosphere. I haven't been to an AKC show lately, (missed the last one due to some family matters ), so I can't really comment on them being the same way. The ones I've been to though have seemed a lot more "formal". I could be totally off base here, but this was the way it seemed to me.


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## golden_eclipse (Apr 1, 2011)

In a ckc show this summer, while waiting for the breed ring, my lead broke, and the guy next to me holding the male we had just beat in the winners dog ring, took the lead off his dog and gave it to me. We didn't even speak the same language, but I am never surprised at the kindness people can show sometimes. We ended up wining the BOB with his lead, I couldn't thank him enough.


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

I had a show where I had brought a baby male and an adult female. I was sure the pup would not progress, but he needed the experience. What do you know, but he won his class, as did my female, so I had 2 dogs going into breed.. and only me. A lady I didn't know, had a pup, that my little boy just beat, stepped in and offered to handle him for me. I was so grateful. I have helped others with gear, brushes, holding dogs..it is just different at those shows.


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