# I have a 13 week aggressive pupy



## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Please help. We have a 13 week old female golden puppy. We have had her since she was 8 weeks old and it started almost immediately. She is great with the kids, tolerates a lot of pulling and attention! However, there have been a handful of occasions where she has gone berserk on us for pulling her away from chewing on a comforter, trying to eat her own vomit, digging in the dirt and a couple other examples. I can put my hand in her food or take it away...nothing! Other times I can pull her away and nothing. It is very unpredictable. She snarls and growls very aggressively. This is not play for sure. I know the difference. I am nervous for my kids and the neighbors. We are in puppy training but we are not winning this battle and considering taking her back to the breeder. Can this be eliminated and what should we be doing to correct her?


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Please don't punish her for doing this, that will make her believe she does need to guard her resources even more. You need to teach her it is ok to give you what she has because she gets something better in return. You should be teaching her to trade you for what she has. Start practicing during non conflict times offering her a treat or toy for what she has, until she learns to willingly give up what she has for what you are offering. Increase the "value" of the items she is giving up gradually. Eventually you should be able to trade her for items she finds high value.

If you need to remove her from an item or location, make a loop with your leash, slip it on her and lead her away.

This is resource guarding, not necessarily aggression, but not acceptable and does need work to correct it. If you have a good trainer they should be able to give you methods to work with her to improve this.


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## Bentleysmom (Aug 11, 2012)

mylissyk has given you good advice. My concern is that you're thinking of giving up on her at 13 weeks. Believe me, I know how frustrating it can get I just lived through it but I have to tell you, it gets much, much worse before it gets better. You're really not even close to the tough ages.
Good luck and welcome to GRF.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Thanks so much. I have had many puppies in my lifetime and this is the first "aggression" I have ever seen. I have actually been giving her cheese today when I am able to pull her away. She is not punished, although when we started we were advised to punish her by showing dominance. It definitely made it worse. I am trying all of these positive tactics, I just worry about my kids getting near her when she is "guarding." It is so rare, we just don't know what she wants to guard and what she does not. That is the scary part. We can go a whole week pulling her away from things, then one time she snaps. Again, thanks so much for the tips. I got a Golden for a good, loving family dog, this just took me by complete surprise. I never expected to have to deal with this and be worried from day one.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

I do have one other question. I don't exactly know what to do after this latest scary episode. Of course, positive when she does it right, but what about those times when she reacts negatively. We do have a trainer but not able to talk to him again until Monday.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

You are absolutely right to be concerned a out your kids and for this reason you need to explain very clearly that the rule in your house is that no kid takes anything from the puppy under any circumstances. They must get an adult. No exceptions. 

I'm sorry you're going through this, it is upsetting when it is so unexpected. She also should not be around your kids friends unless you are supervising the pup directly.

Don't lose your temper with the dog. If there is an incident, just be matter of fact, you said yourself that the negative consequences seemed to be making things worse. Try to pick up any items that are triggers. She should not have free run of your house at all. This will reduce incidents.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

What concerns me is the "pulling her away " statements. Could she have a sore spot that's being touched when you pull her?


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Skeene said:


> I do have one other question. I don't exactly know what to do after this latest scary episode. Of course, positive when she does it right, but what about those times when she reacts negatively. We do have a trainer but not able to talk to him again until Monday.


Just very calmly remove her from the situation or location. Punishment or being harsh will just make it worse. If you need to calm down after she exhibits this behavior you could put her in her crate but only for a short time, and do it calmly without anger.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

I don't think so. We have battled UTI's (inverted vulva), but she shows no sign of pain in the abdomen area. I thought this same thing and have poked around and I can't find anywhere. These last 2 times have been grabbing her by the collar or pulling on her leash and removing, not her side. 

We do "bonding" with her. She is tied to our belt while inside unless playing with her or training or napping in the crate. All suggested by the trainer. These mostly have happened outside and before we were "bonding." 

I am so saddened that I picked a puppy that I can't let the kids be around. I am willing to work with her and we have spent a lot of money to do so and lots more on the UTI issues, so I am invested. I am just worried this problem will not correct and I will always be worried for my children.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Skeene said:


> Thanks so much. I have had many puppies in my lifetime and this is the first "aggression" I have ever seen. I have actually been giving her cheese today when I am able to pull her away. She is not punished, although when we started we were advised to punish her by showing dominance. It definitely made it worse. I am trying all of these positive tactics, I just worry about my kids getting near her when she is "guarding." It is so rare, we just don't know what she wants to guard and what she does not. That is the scary part. We can go a whole week pulling her away from things, then one time she snaps. Again, thanks so much for the tips. I got a Golden for a good, loving family dog, this just took me by complete surprise. I never expected to have to deal with this and be worried from day one.


Part of the problem the "pulling her away", that makes her think she does need to guard the item. If you lure her, call her or lead her away rather than grabbing and pulling, it creates a more positive scenario in her mind.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Your puppy is 91 DAYS old. She is just a baby and there is plenty of time to work with her and get her over this.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

Use a high value treat, something she doesn't normally get, like cheese for example. Throw it around what she's guarding, and when she releases the item and gets the treat praise highly. Work up to when she takes the treat from your hand in these situations. It won't take long at all to see the positive results. 


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Let her drag a two foot leash around all the time. Make one or cut off an old one. Use it to remove her if she won't come when called or lured. Do not grab her collar ever and tell your kids they can't grab her collar ever. 

I want to ask you if you are using baby gates to manage your puppy? Is she restricted to a small area like the kitchen or does she have full run of the house? At this point it is importnt to try to keep these incidents from happening. How many times are you having to take things from her?

I understand how concerned you are and how upset You feel that the puppy you love is turning out to have some issues that need work. Explain the ground rules to your kids and then put all your efforts into working on this. It can be dealt with but you have to be committed to this.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Bentleysmom said:


> mylissyk has given you good advice. My concern is that you're thinking of giving up on her at 13 weeks. Believe me, I know how frustrating it can get I just lived through it but I have to tell you, it gets much, much worse before it gets better. You're really not even close to the tough ages.
> Good luck and welcome to GRF.


I am prepared for all puppy behavior. Chewing, peeing and puppy stuff do not bother me. I am laid back and flexible. It is the aggression that concerns me with the kids. I would never take a puppy back because it is too hard. It is a safety thing.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Skeene said:


> I am prepared for all puppy behavior. Chewing, peeing and puppy stuff do not bother me. I am laid back and flexible. It is the aggression that concerns me with the kids. I would never take a puppy back because it is too hard. It is a safety thing.


I hate to see people use the word "aggression" about a puppy. What you are seeing is resource guarding, your puppy is not an aggressive dog. She thinks she needs to protect the item she has, she is not lashing out at you all the time. I guess to me it's thinking about it differently, and not labeling a puppy aggressive.


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## CarolinaCasey (Jun 1, 2007)

Do not mess with her while she is eating EVER. When you drag her or the bowl away, she is learning you are a threat to her food. An adult (no kids) should sit next to her as you feed her. Place half of her meal kibble in a bowl and while she eats, you may drop lunch meat, cheese, high value treats near her dish. With the other half of the kibble, hand feed every piece. Continue to do this for the foreseeable future. This is not aggression, this is protecting items of value. If your puppy is going to be chewing on a high value bone, do the same routine with dropping treats and yummy food near her. She will associate your hand/body approaching as a good thing and not a threat. 

Regarding going berserk after digging or whatever- you need to teach the words "leave it." I would also recommend never dragging a puppy away from something, you need to learn to be more exciting than the item they have. You can also use a food lure. I always wear a treat bag on my pants when I have a puppy so I always have a treat. Also sounds like you may need to reevaluate your puppy proofing at home. We have baby gates everywhere so our puppy can't get into trouble. 
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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Thanks everyone! To answer a few questions. She does not have free run of the house. She is on a leash at all times tied to our belt. The only times she is not is if we are actively playing with her, training or she is napping in her crate. For this reason we do not have baby gates. This is what our puppy trainer is having us do. When she goes outside is usually the problem, besides the first time on our 3rd day with a comforter. I lead her on a leash to "potty" so we can contain it to an area of the yard, then I might let her run around and play with us. After reading all of these posts I almost feel silly. I was just shocked to see this behavior, but as I sit and think about when it has happened, it is definitely guarding. It is just so odd what she decides to guard. Her food is not one of them and I can pull things out of her mouth with ease if she has something. I am thinking it is also the element of surprise when we have pulled her away. 

Like I said earlier, this has only happened a handful of times and the worst was when she was trying to eat her own vomit, which had a balloon in it so we did not want her to eat it again. (Neighbor kid dropped a balloon and she inhaled it in half a second.) I love the food idea to lure her away. Thank you all for your great advise. We love her (and have spent a ton on vet bills already with a recurring UTI) so we are invested in her for sure. I now understand we can deal with this, it will just take a lot of work, which we have always been prepared to do. I feel like I have new clarity today, so thank you!


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

So glad this thread gave you some clarity  Please update us when you are able and we would love to see photos of your pup!


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## quilter (Sep 12, 2011)

Some dogs don't like to be pulled by the collar as a matter of principle. I've used verbal commands with Casper all along, and I was surprised to discover a few months ago that he positively won't move if I try to pull him around on his collar. He plunks himself on the ground and just won't budge. My last dog, I could move him around, but he wouldn't move for anyone else.

In Dog Park Manners class, we learned Gotcha. It's pretty basic, say Gotcha, grab the collar, and then feed a treat. Do it over and over. Pretty soon, the dog gets happy knowing that you're about to touch his collar. Then you work on moving the dog. It's also great for a mouthy puppy, so he won't go right for your hand when you reach around his head. Because he's looking at the other hand for the treat.

The My Smart Puppy website has a video on teaching your dog to respond to pressure on the collar. Casper got the Gotcha thing right away, but wow, he sure resists being pulled around! It's not really that often that we need to pull him around, but just every once in a while, I'd like to walk him out of the laundry room rather than waiting for him to respond to Come On Get Out Of the Laundry Room and Leave the Dirty Clothes Alone.

Both of these are completely separate from any leash-walking training.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Tayla will resource guard certain objects. Raw knuckle bones are one of them. She gets one a couple times a week to clean her teeth. I trade her for a peanut butter kong which she seems to think is higher value.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

I thought I would give an update on our Sadie. After having her evaluated, it was determined she was just a bit too submissive for our active family with lots of little kids. This was more the problem coupled with the guarding and she started growling at my kids as they approached to pet her.

The fear became that she would be a fear biter. We took her back to the breeder on Wednesday and are on the hunt for a new puppy. It has been a very tough week for our family as we miss her horribly, but this was the right thing to do to keep my kids safe. Mother's instinct I guess. 

This time, the breeder will be researched extensively. I intend to use a breeder that will guide us to the puppy they suspect will fit well with our family, not just a blind pick. I need a confident yet gentle dog that will love my kids and our family, not be afraid. Thanks to all of you


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

I'm sorry you felt you had to make that decision. It was something that was fixable with the right trainer and some time. I know, because I have spent months working with Tayla. She was a big biter when we got her and we found a great trainer/behaviorist who pegged her as having a lack of confidence and a high level of frustration. A couple months does not fix these thing. It takes a lot of work. I know you are looking for another puppy, field bred. I just must say that it will not be a good fit for you. With 3 active kids you just don't have the time it will take to get through that puppy period with a field bred Golden.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Tayla's Mom said:


> I'm sorry you felt you had to make that decision. It was something that was fixable with the right trainer and some time. I know, because I have spent months working with Tayla. She was a big biter when we got her and we found a great trainer/behaviorist who pegged her as having a lack of confidence and a high level of frustration. A couple months does not fix these thing. It takes a lot of work. I know you are looking for another puppy, field bred. I just must say that it will not be a good fit for you. With 3 active kids you just don't have the time it will take to get through that puppy period with a field bred Golden.


I have talked to many reputable breeders/trainers that helped me through this and make this very difficult decision. They felt, the submissiveness in her made her a huge candidate to be a fear biter. They all agreed this is a hard wired trait and it would always be a concern. I was not going to chance having this happen to one of my kids or the 8 kids next door. If I ever thought it would be something she would over come, I would have poured my heart and soul into it. Trust me...I am still crying everyday about this.

I was not concerned about puppy biting...that is normal and we trained her quite easily for that...It was something we could say "no bite" and she would immediately stop. I don't think you are understanding it was not normal puppy play, bite behavior. She should have never been placed in a home with this much activity. She was scared of people, growled when kids tried to pet her (not always but randomly) and was very independent. Not a good mix with small children. I am sorry you feel I made the wrong decision, but I was living the situation and nervous for my children.

We only asked about field bred dogs because that was one of the breeders recommended to us by a friend. We are not going that route....absolutely not a good fit for the little ones. Although it would be a better fit than our last one.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

13 weeks is a brand new puppy that needs training and guidance. After giving up so quickly it saddens me that another puppy is potentially going to have to go through this same scenario. A perfect puppy does not exist. 


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Katduf said:


> 13 weeks is a brand new puppy that needs training and guidance. After giving up so quickly it saddens me that another puppy is potentially going to have to go through this same scenario. A perfect puppy does not exist.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Thanks for the judgement and cruel comment. You should be ashamed of yourself. If that makes you feel good to make me feel bad, then go to town. I thought this was supposed to be a supportive and caring site. I am not seeing it today that is for sure. 

I commented again today, because there was a post that asked to update and let the thread know what happened. I did so not expecting to be judged and ridiculed. That was the last thing I needed today. I did not take her back after 13 weeks. When I first started asking for advise because I had a gut feeling about this dog she was 12/13 weeks. She was over 5 months old when we finally made a very educated and much thought out decision. We did not go into this lightly and talked to many experienced trainers, several vets and many, many, many reputable breeders. We even had her evaluated which finally helped us make this very difficult decision. You might think these breeders were wanting to sell me a puppy, but not one had a dog available to sell to me.

I would like to see what you would do when a dog is showing it's teeth to you, your kids and your neighbors kids for simple things as wanting to pet her. Something was not right about this dog and not every person is capable of training and handling a dog of this nature. I was not willing to take the chance that we MIGHT be able to work through it, when all the signs were pointing to it would be a lifelong battle. I hope you find support if this happens to you and your family and not judgement as you have given me. That is my prayer for you. This was supposed to be a wonderful experience for my kids and they were scared of her.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I suggest you go to a rescue group and get an older dog...one that is used to kids and has a proven behavior pattern. Since kids can be totally unpredictable, better to get a dog that is predictable.

The rescues will help you find a good match. You are several years away from being able to have a puppy. Unfortunately , small children and puppies are not always a good match. Only you can assess your situation and make the decisions that are right for your family.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

I am so regretting updating this today. When I last posted she was 16 weeks old and there was so much support and love and non judgement. 

Lots of people with little kids get puppies, including me and don't experience what we experienced with this dog. I can't believe you have all turned my update into judging me and my family that we are not capable of having a puppy. Do you think I would have spent hundreds of dollars on trainers, evaluations and vet bills (recurring UTI's in the beginning) if I was just going to give up on this dog. One other thing. The breeder is pretty much a puppy mill and some shady things possibly with the records were given on the parents. So my only fault in all of this is I did not go to a reputable breeder to start with. I never imagined with all the goldens we had as kids, my father and my brother now have that were gentle and kind that I would have to worry about getting a badly bred dog. I messed up there for sure with my naivety, but now know what to look for in a breeder.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

One of my dogs did show his teeth to me. He did engage in resource guarding. He was also extremely rough playing with my children. I stepped the training up to the next level, and also recruited one on one training in my home. I now have a fantastic dog (but in no way perfect!). Penny's mom's advice about getting an older dog was good. You'll be able to see exactly what temperament you'll be getting. 


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

I don't judge you for returning the puppy at all. Not everyone is going to be able to deal with a dog with issues - I know that I couldn't do it myself and I don't have small children.

I do wish, though, that you would consider waiting a few years before considering a puppy again. Your household sounds like there's a lot going on and adding a puppy, even the most laid back, gentle puppy, to the mix is going to require a whole lot of work all around. That's all, just give your kids time to get older and calmer, too.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Being supportive is not reserved to telling you what you want to hear. We all have a lot of experience with dogs, puppies and kids. From what you are saying, you have a very active household and not enough time, in our opinion, to train a demanding puppy properly. And unfortunately, as you found out, the puppy you pick out is not always the puppy you can live with.

Certainly going to a puppy mill set you up for a bad experience...the odds were stacked against you from the start.

Definitely find a reputable breeder; someone who knows what each breeding will produce; someone who knows what the other get are accomplishing; someone who can assess temperament accurately. A reputable breeder is not going to place a quiet dog in a hectic household. That type of environment would be so intimidating to the puppy...could be what happened with the first one. You will not doubt get a high energy, exciteable dog...one that will keep up with your noisy, active household. It may, again, be more than you want to handle.

You should also have $2000 set aside for the purchase and the puppy's first year. This would be a wonderful opportunity for your 8 year old to get involved in training the puppy.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

SKeene, No one here is judging you or trying to make you feel bad. When I and others respond to your or any other posts, it is based on our interpretation of the background provided. We share our personal experiences and opinions to try to help you make your decision and that is your decision and yours alone. I think everyone here is saddened to see a young dog returned -- sad for the dog and sad for the owners who have become attached to the dog.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Katduf said:


> One of my dogs did show his teeth to me. He did engage in resource guarding. He was also extremely rough playing with my children. I stepped the training up to the next level, and also recruited one on one training in my home. I now have a fantastic dog (but in no way perfect!). Penny's mom's advice about getting an older dog was good. You'll be able to see exactly what temperament you'll be getting.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I am glad it worked out for your family. In observing this dog for 3 months around this house I made the best decision I could for all involved. This dog was not a good fit for our family and I would hope that you could respect that and not judge us as if we did something wrong, imply that we are bad people or are incapable of being able to train a puppy. She did not just show her teeth once. It was nasty, loud snarling many times even after being corrected.

We gave that dog a better chance at happiness with a family that is better suited for her. One without small children. She will have a much better life than one with 3 kids running around all the time. After having her evaluated, we were told she would make a great working dog that had a "job" to do, but probably not the best family dog. Her personality just did not fit the environment. A good breeder would have known this and we would have never had to go through it. 

How can some of you not understand that not every dog is a good fit for every situation. What exactly did we put her through, as you stated in an earlier post? We gave her love, training, medical care and did I say love again? I would say, we went through worse. My kids are devastated, my husband and I are devastated. We did what we thought was best for her too. Why have her live in fear and be uncomfortable with the activity of a buy family? That does not make sense to me.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Penny's Mom said:


> Being supportive is not reserved to telling you what you want to hear. We all have a lot of experience with dogs, puppies and kids. From what you are saying, you have a very active household and not enough time, in our opinion, to train a demanding puppy properly. And unfortunately, as you found out, the puppy you pick out is not always the puppy you can live with.
> 
> Certainly going to a puppy mill set you up for a bad experience...the odds were stacked against you from the start.
> 
> ...


I have the finances covered...not an issue. I appreciate your words and don't expect to hear what I want to hear. But telling me they feel bad another dog is going to have to go through it, that is hurtful and meant to be hurtful. That is judging. It was the perfect storm for this puppy and I recognized that...shouldn't that count for something? Why live 12-14 years with an unhappy dog?


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Tayla showed us her pearly white teeth all the time. She crinkled up that nose and snapped at us constantly. She resource guarded. I had bites, bruises and was attacked by her more times than I can count. Our friends thought we exaggerated until the saw me after a weeks camping trip where I came home with bite marks everywhere. So I know what I'm talking about when I say your dog was not aggressive, just poorly bred, fearful, had self control issues, etc. All not things that can be dealt with in a few months. I went to bed every night exhausted. Spent hours crying and had to fight with a husband who wanted to get rid of a dog ruining our lives. I'm not judging you. I was you. I just stuck with it. You don't have a lifestyle for a prey driven puppy. An older dog yes, maybe. I dedicated every waking hour to Tayla that I wasn't at work. It was the worst year of my life. I'd never repeat it again. She is now 22 months old and turning the corner. Wait on a puppy of the sporting kind and give a chance to a proven older dog.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

It wasn't meant to be hurtful, and I'm sorry you took it that way. But if you're jumping straight in to get another puppy, I'm concerned that the scenario would be repeated. My heart is always with the dogs because they are the ones that live by the decisions we make. That is the reason I said what I did, with no intent to hurt, instead to think long and hard before rushing into the same again. 


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

Unfortunately, it is possible to get a Golden that does not fit the typical Golden Retriever mold. Sounds to me like you tried your best, but you had to make the decision that you had to give up your dog because that was best for your family. At 5 months old, a Golden is big and strong enough to do real damage if she bites you or a child. A dog that has bitten someone is a dog that will have a difficult time finding another home. You probably did the best thing for you and the puppy.

Many families with children have no problems with puppies. If you do your research this time, I am confident you will find a Golden that is a good fit for your family.


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

You are in a situation that is so hard, and while I am one of those " get a dog for life" kind of people I am in a situation that allows me to deal with a challenging pup. We got Hazel because the other pet family had kids, and I'm sure she would have been returned. As hard as it is, it IS better for the dog to be able to move on and we pray he finds the right family, as I know you do too. That is the reality of our lives, our relationships and unique situations. Nothing is one size fits all, especially dogs. You have learned a tough lesson, and I bet you'll now have great luck with a good breeder. Puppy mills and bad breeders are bad for so many reasons, poor breeding practices being only one. 


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Also look for breeders who have dogs that they had planned to compete with, or breed, but haven't worked out for some reason. They often place those in pet homes. A year old dog that is well bred and well raised, yet still young may be a really good fit. Be careful with this though, commercial breeders do dump dogs after they are done breeding and making money for them, and others "place" breeding dogs in home for free, as long as you will let the dog be endlessly bred. I'm talking about a young dog that hared showing, or failed a cert, that sort of thing. All of the pups from Lilas litter ended up too short- and the show pup got sent home. Fortunately our breeder loved ehr dogs like kids and kept the show pup who lived a great life of field work.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I don't judge you for making a decision in the best interest of your kids, and even the puppy. I think you were smart to realize it was not a good fit. I hope the puppy actually does get a good home with the right mix of family for her.

I really also hope you will consider adopting an adult dog with some history with kids. Rescues can help you find the right dog for your family, and you may even find some breeders with adult dogs they are looking for a home for.

I also hope you will not let a few negative posts turn you away from this board. It is full of people who are genuinely caring, and overflowing with advice from experienced, knowledgeable, and helpful people who are more than willing to share their experience and advice. On a public board you will not always agree, but this one is overwhelmingly positive and worth hanging around.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Skeene, I think you did what's best for the safety of your children and the neighborhood children, as well as for the puppy. Hopefully, the pup will find the perfect home for her and your family will get over the sorrow of giving her up. My only word of caution as you look for a new dog is you might now be a bit "gun shy" about what constitutes normal puppy behavior, and even a well-bred puppy will get bitey and amped up around running, shouting kiddos. If you think that you will still be worried about a mouthy puppy, you might consider a young dog of 2 or 3 years, who has some maturity and stability around excited little ones. At that age, they don't often react immediately with teeth to excitement. Good luck in your search for the right pet for your family.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Finn's Fan said:


> Skeene, I think you did what's best for the safety of your children and the neighborhood children, as well as for the puppy. Hopefully, the pup will find the perfect home for her and your family will get over the sorrow of giving her up. My only word of caution as you look for a new dog is you might now be a bit "gun shy" about what constitutes normal puppy behavior, and even a well-bred puppy will get bitey and amped up around running, shouting kiddos. If you think that you will still be worried about a mouthy puppy, you might consider a young dog of 2 or 3 years, who has some maturity and stability around excited little ones. At that age, they don't often react immediately with teeth to excitement. Good luck in your search for the right pet for your family.


Thank you very much. Not sure what we are going to do, but we are researching and looking at all options. The funny thing about the dog is it generally did not happen with a lot of the activity or when she was excited. It was unpredictable, which is what scared me the most. I could not say, don't do this or that to be safe. 

We got the puppy biting under control fairly quickly, so I am confident about that piece and our ability to work with another puppy if we go that route. We have an arsenal of great training techniques for the "normal" puppy stuff like mouthiness, rough play, jumping and that sort of thing. Bring that on...I am comfortable with that I could just tell from that first week we had her that something just was not right for us and/or her and would be more than we could handle, although we really did try. I hope and pray the breeder is responsible this time and puts her with a home where she is comfortable.

I told my kids that God made her to be a farm dog (something they could understand) or a grown up's dog and although she loves us, she will be happier in that environment. I will always second guess my decision and wonder if I did the right thing, but I keep telling myself to listen to my gut. It was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make as a mom and I will always wonder "what if." I have cried for 3 days. Not as much for my own sadness, although I miss her a lot, but knowing I hurt my kids and am worried about what home our puppy will find. So, the judging and assuming I gave up on a puppy and am a bad person because of it, did not sit well with me today. I am already doing that myself and don't need someone else to tell me that. 

You are right, I am nervous now. There are so many things I will do differently. One of them being when/if we get another it will be during the school year and not the summer when we have so many kids running in our back yard. For a puppy like we had, I think that was just too much, the perfect storm perhaps. However, that is our life and I need a well bred dog that can tolerate the kids. I will never again go to a breeder that does not know the personality of his/her pups and tells me which ones they believe will be a good fit. What a learning experience.

Thanks for all the kindness tonight. I appreciate the understanding.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

One of the things pups like to do is what we call the "croc chop". That's when they 'bite' the air and make a loud sound of teeth coming together. It really looks and sounds like a snap but is all in fun. It isn't a behavior that's meant to harm or even really bite...it's all in fun. If a dog really wanted to bite some one, they would.

Keep this in mind with your next pup.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

That is one of Tayla's favorite things. Put her in a pool and she bites the water. You can hear her across the pool. She used to do it to us. Glad she is using the water now!


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

We love the croc chop. And we laughed. I'm sure any other reaction to fun...like punishment or fear...is confusing to the dog. We're having a good time and all of a sudden I'm in trouble. I don't know what I did. Sad for the pup who's trying to figure things out. He sees people as being VERY inconsistent and unpredictable.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

I love that too. She did not do this but I have had a dog that did. It's fun to watch Her behavior was not in fun. I know a lot of people post on here about aggression but it is just normal puppy play. I read it all the time. Trust me when I say that she even snarled, viciously growled at my husband. It scared him. I am certain her behavior was not anything I had witnessed in a dog or puppy before and I have had many dogs in my lifetime. 

I miss her a lot and have already emailed the breeder to check in on her.


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

I just hope the puppy has a chance at living a happy & long life. If she did in fact come from a puppy mill like situation & the breeder didn't care who she went to or what type of home she went to in the first place, I wonder what kind of home she is going to be sold into next--provided she even gets a chance at another home.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

SheetsSM said:


> I just hope the puppy has a chance at living a happy & long life. If she did in fact come from a puppy mill like situation & the breeder didn't care who she went to or what type of home she went to in the first place, I wonder what kind of home she is going to be sold into next--provided she even gets a chance at another home.


I'm sorry, but how is this helpful? The OP has already stated that she feels guilty as hell about the whole situation - she made a decision based on fears for her children and herself, as well as the knowledge that the dog was never going to be a fit for her family and would definitely not ever be happy with her. 
Is it a decision everyone would have made? Maybe not, but it's certainly not helping anyone to beat her up about it.


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

laprincessa said:


> I'm sorry, but how is this helpful? The OP has already stated that she feels guilty as hell about the whole situation - she made a decision based on fears for her children and herself, as well as the knowledge that the dog was never going to be a fit for her family and would definitely not ever be happy with her.
> Is it a decision everyone would have made? Maybe not, but it's certainly not helping anyone to beat her up about it.


For me, my focus is on that pup wherever she may now be. I do truly hope she gets an opportunity at a long & happy life.


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

The bad situation started for the pup when she was conceived via a puppy mill or greeder and likely poorly raised from birth. I think everyone hopes EVERY puppy in this whole world finds a great loving home. It's sad to hear a story about what negative affects happen to poorly bred and raised pups, I always hear how behavior problems are common with puppy mills and greeders but a first hand story is heartbreaking. A little compassion goes a long way because everyone isn't in a position to fix what is broken. This family has experienced a heartbreak, I say let's be considerate of their feelings. At least that is my vote.


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## Skeene (Jul 6, 2013)

Thanks for the kind words. We have been in communication with the breeder. They are holding on to her until they can assess her. She might just end up living on their farm forever. They just don't know until they can get a handle on her. They have a dog that was injured as a young pup when the mom was cleaning her. The vet wanted to "put her down" but the breeders could not do it. They have cared for her and she lives on the farm. I feel confident they will do the right thing with her knowing what we have told her. 

I don't think they are bad people, just not as knowledgeable as "good" breeders. They have promised to keep us up to date on her and to let us know when/if they put her with another family. I could not have done this if I thought something bad would happen to her. I pray with my girls every night she finds her wonderful forever home. 

This has been hell for us and was a decision not taken lightly. I do regret ever posting on here what our ultimate decision turned out to be. I never expected so much judgment. I assumed people truly wanted to know the outcome and so I posted. I thank those that did not pass judgement, but understood this was going to be a tough life for us and the dog if we kept her. We did what we thought was best for us and the dog.

We think we have found an awesome breeder and will wait for her if a puppy is what we decide. We need to give our family some time to heal before getting another dog, that is for sure. We might even decide to get an older dog from a Golden Rescue. We just don't know. Did we make some mistakes? We certainly did, but it did not change the fact that this dog has a temperament that was not going to work for us.


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Oh Skeene I am so sorry for you. It's tough, putting ourselves out on the internet, you just can't be sure of what you'll get. Hang in there, I'd be happy if you updated us as you know what happens to her, but I can understand if you don't.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

Also, I don't know if anyone has mentioned this but you mentioned that you can put your hand in her bowl or take her food away and she is fine with it. That is something that people used to be told to do. I believe now it's suggested to toss something good into the bowl as you walk by rather than play with their food. I know I'd get irritated if someone was taking my food away or sticking their hand in it.

I just read through the thread and your update. I'm very sorry for everyone that it came to that.


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