# Missing my boy



## Tobymom (Jan 10, 2016)

My Toby was 10 1/2 when I had to help him across the rainbow bridge. It was November 30 of 2015 and the most painful decision I ever had to make. I just don't know how to get past the pain and sadness. He was my heart. Nobody could ever take his place. Looking back, I think it started in July. He had a hard time going up the stairs to bed at night and he would get stuck in the middle and we would have to almost carry him. Soon after that he would not even attempt the stairs so we bright his bed downstairs. They thought it was arthritis. As time went on, he started getting infected sores on his hind legs. Large sores. And the vet have him steroids and antibiotics. He liked to lay on the cool floor so I thought it was from the hard floor so we covered the floor in rugs to help the sores. Later is stomach enlarged like a ball. They thought cancer. Ultrasound showed tumor on adrenal gland. Diagnosed with cushings disease. When he took the meds he had digestive system issues with a lot of blood. After months of emergency visits and chicken and rice he did not get better. On Sunday 11/29 he had the black tarry stools and I thought internal bleeding. He was walking so slow and had to lay down to rest after just a few feet. He could not do even one step, his legs would just collapse. I knew it was getting too bad for him. The next morning I took him in first thing as he laid in the yard and would not get up and he threw up a little bit. He did not eat much the day before. They did an x-ray and his lungs and abdomen were full of fluid. They said that typically this is a signs of cancer. He had been through so much and he was so weak. I loved him dearly and will forever. He was my baby and I miss him so! Sorry this is such a long post.


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## nana2 (Oct 8, 2015)

I'm sorry for your loss. I cried as I read your post. My special boy went to the rainbow bridge July 9,2015...even after 6 months it hurts, I miss him, and I cry. Keep your precious memories close to you. Remember the good times. We've added a new puppy to our lives. She will never replace our Kirby, but she is doing a wonderful job filling the emptiness in our hearts and home. You will get lots of support from this forum. Seems most have been thru the loss of a loving fur baby. Most importantly...we understand.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

It is one of the hardest decisions to make to set them free. It's also one of the most loving things we can do for our furry friends. I know it's hard when we have to say goodbye and the pain of our loss is unbearable. Your heart feels like it will forever be in pain. In some ways my heart still is and it's been almost three years since I had to say goodbye to my Allie Bean. I also know that Allie would not want me to be so unhappy as she loved me so much. It takes time to heal and everyone heals in there own time. Just remember to be kind to yourself because Toby would want that. He loved you more than he loved himself. I sure know how hard your loss is and I am so very sorry. Toby will forever be in your heart.. Sending Healing Hugs..


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Toby*



Tobymom said:


> My Toby was 10 1/2 when I had to help him across the rainbow bridge. It was November 30 of 2015 and the most painful decision I ever had to make. I just don't know how to get past the pain and sadness. He was my heart. Nobody could ever take his place. Looking back, I think it started in July. He had a hard time going up the stairs to bed at night and he would get stuck in the middle and we would have to almost carry him. Soon after that he would not even attempt the stairs so we bright his bed downstairs. They thought it was arthritis. As time went on, he started getting infected sores on his hind legs. Large sores. And the vet have him steroids and antibiotics. He liked to lay on the cool floor so I thought it was from the hard floor so we covered the floor in rugs to help the sores. Later is stomach enlarged like a ball. They thought cancer. Ultrasound showed tumor on adrenal gland. Diagnosed with cushings disease. When he took the meds he had digestive system issues with a lot of blood. After months of emergency visits and chicken and rice he did not get better. On Sunday 11/29 he had the black tarry stools and I thought internal bleeding. He was walking so slow and had to lay down to rest after just a few feet. He could not do even one step, his legs would just collapse. I knew it was getting too bad for him. The next morning I took him in first thing as he laid in the yard and would not get up and he threw up a little bit. He did not eat much the day before. They did an x-ray and his lungs and abdomen were full of fluid. They said that typically this is a signs of cancer. He had been through so much and he was so weak. I loved him dearly and will forever. He was my baby and I miss him so! Sorry this is such a long post.


I am so very sorry about your dear sweet Toby. So much of what happened to him, sounded like my Smooch. My Smooch and Snobear will take care of him at the Rainbow Bridge, and I am adding his name.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...ist/336474-rainbow-bridge-list-2015-a-17.html


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## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Toby, I know how hard it is having lost my boy in September, my thoughts and prayers are with you it's just so sad.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Toby, having to make that decision is the hardest thing I have ever done. I've had to do it too many times and it's never been easy. 

Try to focus on the wonderful times and memories you shared with Toby, how much love and joy he brought to your life. With time, the sense of loss and profound pain you are feeling will get better but it takes time and it's different for everyone. 

I truly believe we will be reunited with our Bridge kids one day, they are whole again and enjoying life while they wait for us. I also believe they are always watching over us and are there whenever we need them. 

Godspeed Toby


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

So many wonderful souls lost in 2015. We would love to see some pictures of your dear Toby and hear some more stories about him. You will find it helpful to talk about him on here as there are so many people who understand exactly how you feel.


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## Sarge's dad (Jul 29, 2015)

So sorry for your loss. I lost my boy Sarge in July. I think of him every day, and can't help feeling that we were both robbed of a long wonderful life together. He was just shy of his 8th birthday. The people on this site have been nothing short of amazing! I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't found it. Check in often, share your stories with your boy, it will feel good.
Buddy


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## Tobymom (Jan 10, 2016)

I know this pic is sideways, but this is a photo of my Toby from late 2011. Each morning while I was getting ready for work, I would say,"okay it is time to do mommy's hair and he would wait at the bathroom door for me. He would last right next to me and watch every move I made. He was such a loving, caring baby!


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## Mel (Sep 9, 2008)

Tobymom, I feel your pain. Not a long post at all. I´m grieving the loss of Mel and it actually helps to read other golden loving member´s story. I don´t know what I would have done without this forum. Mel went almost the same way as Toby. Although she was still walking, eating and doing her business (all on a diminished amount) she had declined tremendously over the last 3 months. She was diagnosed with Addison´s disease but before we could start treating it intensively she left us. It was cancer in the vulva, somewhere we could not see even with repeated abdominal ultrascan. By the time we tried surgery it was too late. And so we carry on living without our babies with the help of our friends here. Do cry but be kind to your self as you feel such pain because you were able to love and care for your special boy.


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## L.Rocco (Jul 28, 2015)

I am so sorry for your loss!
I understand the pain and heartbreak as I lost my boy last July. And oh how I miss him...
But talking about him in this forum has helped me so much!
You will always love and miss your dear Toby, but with time it will hurt less. 
And he was a part of your life, your home, your history, so he will always be with you in your heart!


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## Tiny R Astar (Dec 26, 2015)

Hi
I know how painful it is. We lost our 14yr old in August last year. He was my shadow always. I miss him so so much. But we have just got a new pup. He is not a replacement, he is just a new family member. We were so lost without him and the house felt so empty. Albie has brought so much to our family already. My son said recently that he is a tribute to the love Ranger brought and special place he held in our hearts because we needed a dog for our family to be complete. Hope the pain eases a little soon and the happy memories help you through the coming months,


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