# Initial Grief - How Long?



## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

For those of you who have lost your goldens suddenly, how long does the initial shock, anger, and body effecting grief last? I cry uncontrollably, I have anxiety, I feel sick to my stomach, I'm angry and feel like I just want to go be with my dog. I understand I will be sad for a while, but how many days does this excruciating feeling last? I am barely functioning. It has just now been about 24 hours.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

My Rylie died the day after christmas 2014..
Rylie









she was 2 years old and just fell over and died..instantly..I still see her in my mind..but I really got over it when we went and got Auggie which was a little over a month after..and now I feel as if Rylie is part of Auggie, so many of the same traits that Rylie had...so now I feel like she is still here.
Auggie









I know everyone is different, I hope you get past the hard part soon and remember the good time you enjoyed with Coby.
Start looking for a Coby 2.0


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

This is all just so incredibly sad. I can't believe you lost Riley at only 2. I just thought Coby's end would be different. I don't know, why, but I did. I just wasn't prepared. Ugh. Thank you so much for your help.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

Everyone is different and grief affects them in different ways. Certainly those that get another dog find comfort. I have not lost a dog myself but I have lost a child and feel that dog people will not be offended if I equate the two. Because you have two young children who are experiencing the same thing you will have to be strong for them and this will be hard. You made a good decision in involving them in your dog's goodbye. Children do not like being lied to and are very resilient when told the truth. The support on this forum for those who have lost their dogs is tremendous. Use it to help you over the coming weeks and months ahead. No-one will get tired of your stories and pictures and they will help you to celebrate a life gone too soon.


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

Test-ok said:


> My Rylie died the day after christmas 2014..
> Rylie
> 
> 
> ...


Oh My how awful to have that happen  I am so glad that Auggie is with you and has helped in healing your heart.


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

Harleysmum said:


> Everyone is different and grief affects them in different ways. Certainly those that get another dog find comfort. I have not lost a dog myself but I have lost a child and feel that dog people will not be offended if I equate the two. Because you have two young children who are experiencing the same thing you will have to be strong for them and this will be hard. You made a good decision in involving them in your dog's goodbye. Children do not like being lied to and are very resilient when told the truth. The support on this forum for those who have lost their dogs is tremendous. Use it to help you over the coming weeks and months ahead. No-one will get tired of your stories and pictures and they will help you to celebrate a life gone too soon.


 I am so very sorry to hear that you have lost a child. You are such an Angel here on this forum. I cannot even begin to imagine that pain. Thanks for being here to share with all of us


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

Coby Love said:


> For those of you who have lost your goldens suddenly, how long does the initial shock, anger, and body effecting grief last? I cry uncontrollably, I have anxiety, I feel sick to my stomach, I'm angry and feel like I just want to go be with my dog. I understand I will be sad for a while, but how many days does this excruciating feeling last? I am barely functioning. It has just now been about 24 hours.


After losing Oakley so suddenly like you lost your Coby - I found solace here on this forum. I was completely devastated as was my husband and sons. The first few days were the worst. We as a family spent time together. We went to some of our favourite places together where we took our Oakley, the beach to run and then for fish and chips, the park, it was AWFUL to be at those places without him but at the same time I felt close to him in those places - I wanted to remember everything about him. The pain I personally experienced was close to the pain I felt when my Father passed away 17 years ago. A dog he was- yes and I felt great gut wrenching pain.

I thought I would never smile or laugh again - I cried all of the time. I looked at his pictures all of the time and I came onto this forum as I wondered if what I was experiencing was "normal" and many here promised me that it would get better - and thankfully it did.

It will for you and your family too but while you wait for that cry when you need to and remember all of the things that he did to make you smile.

After the initial shock for me I started feeling guilty. Guilty about vaccinations (which we did not do annually but he had just has them a few months prior), guilty about this or that but then I found that that was the next stage in my grieving process.

We decided as a family that we would get another Golden. We now have a puppy who is 4 months old and his name is Logan. We got Logan 4 months after Oakley passed. For us it was not too soon and he has helped heal our hearts. He was the best thing for us.

We still have Oakley's things (collar, pictures, etc.) on our fireplace mantle as one of my sons still needs them there 

Grieving is different for everyone. When you lose a pet so suddenly like you and I did - it blindsides you. You don't have time to prepare or even to have "just one more day".

Be easy on yourself and know that what you are feeling is normal and you will laugh and smile again


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Harleysmum I am so saddened for the loss of your child. I commented earlier that I have no idea how anyone would survive the death of a child of a death of a dog feels this terrible. I truly don't know how you survived.

For Auggie's and Logan's new moms, thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I am happy you have new little treasures. I pray they live long and healthy lives and die of nothing other than a very old age. 

Blessings to all.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

Just remember Coby isn't gone...he was just passin through. As life does on Earth.


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## daisydogmom (Feb 26, 2007)

First off, i am so sorry for your loss of sweet Coby. Like others have said, each person has their very own way and time-frame for grieving.

When my old Sadie girl passed away (not abruptly, though), that first initial INTENSE grieving stage lasted for me for about two weeks. I stopped eating, couldn't sleep and spent large portions of my day sobbing. At the time, I was a first grade teacher and even cried in front of the kids a tiny bit... I felt so embarrassed and unprofessional! 

To help my own grieving process, I made a small scrapbook and kept a journal...I think it helped me to process the loss a bit... 

Just try your best to take it easy on yourself in the upcoming days. See if you can find a good listening ear... Someone who really "gets" what it's like to lose a pet. It's also great that you found the GRF Forum!!!

Sending you hugs across the miles...


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## daisydogmom (Feb 26, 2007)

By the way, HARLEYSMOM, I am just so very sorry for the loss of your own child- I can't even imagine your pain. (((HUGS)))


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

Harleysmum I also want to say I'm sorry for your loss as well. That must really be tough. It's tough with anyone you love..but your child must really be tough.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

Well thanks guys, it was all a long time ago and I don't want to hijack this thread. We lost our little girl (our second child and daughter) at five and a half months. She was born with a very painful and disfiguring illness and to be honest her passing was a blessing in many ways. Interestingly I was pregnant again within weeks of her death and went on to have three sons. One of the things that I learned from this experience was how desperate people are to talk about the ones who have passed and how good friends and acquaintances often find that difficult to cope with. I remember just wanting to talk about it all, over and over. People would cross the street to avoid me. A good friend once said to me "they are afraid you will cry". But of course the crying is all part of the healing. Whenever I meet people who are newly bereaved I want to pick them up and move them 12 months along so that they can avoid much of the pain and be in a better place. But of course that is not possible. Of course, many people would say that to lose a child is worse than to lose a dog - but is it? Probably not to the person going through the loss. People often don't realise how much they love their dogs until they are gone and it seems to totally take them by surprise the depth of despair that they feel. This forum is such a wonderful place for people to share their grief and the support given here is amazing. Group Hug to anyone who has lost a loved one.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Harleysmum*



Harleysmum said:


> Well thanks guys, it was all a long time ago and I don't want to hijack this thread. We lost our little girl (our second child and daughter) at five and a half months. She was born with a very painful and disfiguring illness and to be honest her passing was a blessing in many ways. Interestingly I was pregnant again within weeks of her death and went on to have three sons. One of the things that I learned from this experience was how desperate people are to talk about the ones who have passed and how good friends and acquaintances often find that difficult to cope with. I remember just wanting to talk about it all, over and over. People would cross the street to avoid me. A good friend once said to me "they are afraid you will cry". But of course the crying is all part of the healing. Whenever I meet people who are newly bereaved I want to pick them up and move them 12 months along so that they can avoid much of the pain and be in a better place. But of course that is not possible. Of course, many people would say that to lose a child is worse than to lose a dog - but is it? Probably not to the person going through the loss. People often don't realise how much they love their dogs until they are gone and it seems to totally take them by surprise the depth of despair that they feel. This forum is such a wonderful place for people to share their grief and the support given here is amazing. Group Hug to anyone who has lost a loved one.


Harleysmum: My heart goes out to you on the loss of your little daughter.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Coby Love*

Coby Love:

I am so very sorry about your sweet Coby. Many of us find comfort being on this forum to share our memories and tears. Everyone heals at their own pace.
Coby will have lots of our fur babies to play with at the Bridge.

Test ok added Coby's name to
the 2015 Rainbow Bridge List:
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...rainbow-bridge-list-2015-a-5.html#post5578866


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am very sorry for your loss of Coby, I know how hard this kind of loss could be.

Harleysmum I am very sorry for the loss of your child.

I am not good at it, I took loss of my Buddy very hard and it took me very very long, almost a year, to stop crying not just once a day. Posting on this forum helped me the most, talking to "strangers" here, people I don't know but who went thru it and could understand the pain of losing a dog especially heart dog. At that time thinking of bringing another one home was too much pain and it took me a year and half to let Charlie come into my house, to let him come into my heart took me another year. 
Good or bad, it was my way and I am fine with it. The time of grieving helped me grow spiritually and changed me forever.

Hope you find your peace soon, but do not be upset if it takes longer, that's ok too, that's who you are.


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## Carmel (Feb 9, 2015)

I have noticed with my pets that I grieve very heavily for about 5 days, meaning crying at any given moment. Then for the next month or so, I feel pretty down. Not too interested in doing much. I have always had several pets at one time including horses, goats, cats, and dogs, so I feel that really helps, as they need us and they need our smiles too, so we realize that we must go on.


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## kellyguy (Mar 5, 2014)

Don't expect too much of your anguish to go away too soon. 
Grieving is different for everyone, but then again it follows certain "stages" that we all have to go through as our hearts and minds heal after a tragic loss.
You will revisit some of these stages multiple times as you work your way through, and in no particular order.
Anger, denial, bargaining, guilt, these are all normal.
Many friends will not understand how you can be so upset over "just a dog".
Try not to upset by them, as many people don't ever know the emotional attachments of a true dog lover.
Talk about your feelings, share your good memories and don't be afraid to cry if you have to.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

The first one was the worst, not because I loved the others any less, but because I hadn't been through it before. No one tells you how _physically_ painful it is. I'm so sorry.

Everyone is different. No one is ever really ready...I've lost pets when I had months of knowing it was coming and pets that I knew something was wrong but no one could find anything...until the last terrible days...and it's the same awful grief every time.

When we lost our Golden a year ago, it helped a little to have his ashes come home a week later. I bought him a lovely blue hand thrown pottery cookie jar and now he's on the kitchen counter...where he always wanted to be . It's nice to give it a pat now and then and tell him how things are going and what's for dinner.

For some, writing a tribute and posting it here helps. I've tried, because Boo deserves tribute always, but it's too painful for me to look back that much.

As a culture, we grieve poorly. We think we need to be strong and that it's somehow a measure of character to get over it quickly, so we have the burden of both the pain and the pressure not to feel what we feel.

Someone here had the perfect analogy...it's like a huge hole has opened in your life and in time, we just learn how to walk around it better but the hole is still there.

Be gentle with yourself. They call it heartsick for a reason...treat yourself kindly. Sending you a hug.


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## Bigjohn (Apr 8, 2015)

Sorry for your loss.
We lost our Emma at 11 yrs last august.
I still see her, or think I do, when there are some couch pillows on the floor near where she would lay.. or in other places, and start to cry after.
And i'm a GUY.. that's now how it's supposed to work... only chicks cry...

But we're looking for a new friend to warm our hearts, finally coming to grips with there was nothing we could have done, and she loved us as we loved her for 11 great years.

So, your grief may never pass, but you can open your heart and have a new friend... I guess that's what I'm saying.


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

I am very sorry for your loss; I am sure that you gave this pup a great life.

These dogs give us so much and it is so unfair that we must say good-by to them so soon. 

Most of us have felt this pain, and dealt with the loss as best we could.

Although they have gone from our lives, they are always with us in our minds eye and in our hearts forever!

God Bless....

As for the timing, I believe it is different for everyone, we morn them in our own ways. For me, after about 3 weeks I realized how very quite our house was, and could not take it anymore. We then started the search for a new puppy, not to replace our lost love, but to fill a void that we had in our home and our hearts. When we found her and brought her home, our morning turned to sweet memories.....!


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## Pirate Molly (Mar 20, 2015)

I agree grief is different for everyone. We lost our 8 yr old second golden suddenlyFinally after 5 yrs of our third a 14 year old girl being gone and 2 of it being grief, we are welcoming a new girl in about 4 weeks. Like big John says you see them everywhere where they say, played etc. remember that too.
My dad was in a hardware store right after we found out the dam was pregnant and the Golden their approached him and " talked to him" as our girl did, as if to say it's ok. We think It was our Abby OTOS on the other side. Take care and cherish this to shall pass.


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## RoversMom (Jan 27, 2015)

I am so sorry about your golden baby. I lost my boy in January suddenly and very unexpectedly. I found him when I got back home that afternoon. Worst day of my life. Total shock. I was in such shock initially that I couldn't cry. All I could do at first was pace around and kept telling myself that it wasn't happening. I was like many others. Missed work. Couldn't eat or sleep. I have played it over and over in my head of..what did I miss that could have been wrong with him..is this my fault, etc. Then I had a woman with a rescue group tell me that she wouldn't take a dead cow to see the veterinarian I used. Then I played that over in my head too...that it was my fault...if only I had used a different veterinarian. He had been sick 3 weeks prior to that but had recovered well and was perfectly fine when I left that morning. 

I think I cried every day for a while. I haven't cried in about a week, but I think about him all the time. I do think another golden will help with healing and it is time. I'm not sure if I will get another rescue or not. The group that lady was with also treated me like I was a hardened criminal, so I am a little cautious of rescue groups now. 

Hang in there. Several of us know exactly what you are going through.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

RoversMom said:


> I am so sorry about your golden baby. I lost my boy in January suddenly and very unexpectedly. I found him when I got back home that afternoon. Worst day of my life. Total shock. I was in such shock initially that I couldn't cry. All I could do at first was pace around and kept telling myself that it wasn't happening. I was like many others. Missed work. Couldn't eat or sleep. I have played it over and over in my head of..what did I miss that could have been wrong with him..is this my fault, etc. Then I had a woman with a rescue group tell me that she wouldn't take a dead cow to see the veterinarian I used. Then I played that over in my head too...that it was my fault...if only I had used a different veterinarian. He had been sick 3 weeks prior to that but had recovered well and was perfectly fine when I left that morning.
> 
> I think I cried every day for a while. I haven't cried in about a week, but I think about him all the time. I do think another golden will help with healing and it is time. I'm not sure if I will get another rescue or not. The group that lady was with also treated me like I was a hardened criminal, so I am a little cautious of rescue groups now.
> 
> Hang in there. Several of us know exactly what you are going through.


I'm feeling the same way. He was sick and then took medicine and was better. I feel like I should have taken him back to the vet, taken him for more follow up, got him to ER faster, why didn't I notice his tongue was gray.... and on and on and on. I keep going over that day and just think why, why, why. I have to tell myself the truth that the dog had a tumor on his heart. Had I gotten him there earlier or not, he still would have died imminently. 

It's just so hard not to blame myself. I just feel like he should've lived until he was 12. 

Referring to the lady who mad the comment about the vet... I'm really amazed at people's lack of tact and compassion. I think that is why we love dogs so much!


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

You are doing what I did "What If I would have done this, I should have done that". Our family has thought about how fast we lost our boy. We noticed little things in the weeks leading up to his death, i.e. geez he didn't finish his dinner that is strange but then he did an hour later and the days after that would eat everything and beg like normal. His poops were normal - we never noticed a dying dog.

Then we think about the other scenario - "what if" What if we had taken him to the vet 3 weeks earlier and found out he was terminally ill. There is nothing that stops these horrendous cancers of the heart and spleen. So if we would have known our boy was dying - we wonder what that would have been like.

In a way we look back and are glad we did not know. My son and I went for a good long walk with him and he collapsed a few short hours later. It was a wonderful walk that I will never ever forget.

You have a lot of reason to be very angry at that nasty, nasty big C.


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## Fattner (Apr 1, 2015)

I am very sorry for your loss ,my wife was devastated to after losing her butterball , I truly believe golden retrievers seem to leave us before we are ready... and since they are very special ,god has them watch over us daily ..its like coby will be your personal angle my friend ,coby will let you know when its time to get another.... im not a religious person but I do believe that the goldens we let into our hearts and homes will be with us forever ...takecare my friend


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Melakat said:


> You are doing what I did "What If I would have done this, I should have done that". Our family has thought about how fast we lost our boy. We noticed little things in the weeks leading up to his death, i.e. geez he didn't finish his dinner that is strange but then he did an hour later and the days after that would eat everything and beg like normal. His poops were normal - we never noticed a dying dog.
> 
> Then we think about the other scenario - "what if" What if we had taken him to the vet 3 weeks earlier and found out he was terminally ill. There is nothing that stops these horrendous cancers of the heart and spleen. So if we would have known our boy was dying - we wonder what that would have been like.
> 
> ...


Ugh the guilt. Why didn't I walk him more. Why didn't we take him to the beach more. Why didn't I lay next to him on the ground by his water dish instead of go inside and eat a piece of pizza while he was dying. I'm torturing myself. Maybe it was you that said it somewhere on here or maybe it was someone else... that thinking about the days events just always felt so terrible. So they started thinking about their life. But I can't yet. I can't remember him yet. I'm still in bargaining and guilt, I guess. Would of , could of , should of. Ugh. I hope this stage passes soon. We still have one pile of dog poop in the yard and I can't make myself go clean it up. Who would have thought grief looked so weird!


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

It's easier to feel as if there was something we should have done than accept the hard truth that some things we have no control over. I'm not sure why that is, but it's very human and very understandable.

Boomer had clean x-rays on Monday...they thought he had a bladder infection. I was so relieved but so perplexed...my gut was telling me something different, something bad. Three days later he collapsed and when I got him to the emergency vet, his cancer had metastasized throughout his lungs and he was bleeding in his abdomen.

I would not trade those three days. He was happy, playful, and so was I, because I thought everything was going to be okay. I'm so glad I didn't have to spend his final days or weeks knowing I was losing him, waking up everyday wondering if this was the day. He would have sensed my anguish. I've done that...and not knowing, for me, was better.

You did the best you could with what you knew.

Sending another hug.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Noreaster said:


> It's easier to feel as if there was something we should have done than accept the hard truth that some things we have no control over. I'm not sure why that is, but it's very human and very understandable.
> 
> Boomer had clean x-rays on Monday...they thought he had a bladder infection. I was so relieved but so perplexed...my gut was telling me something different, something bad. Three days later he collapsed and when I got him to the emergency vet, his cancer had metastasized throughout his lungs and he was bleeding in his abdomen.
> 
> ...


Yep same thing. Test results, x-rays, and ultrasound all clear. And the weird thing is Coby responded to antibiotics and was fine. The whole thing is so strange. I guess perhaps it is better not to know. I would have been a wreck thinking he could die any minute. His last week he acted like a pup, slept with me, buried and unburied all of his bones, ate ice-cream, chased birds, had easter dinner. Had I known, I would have been a wreck and treated him differently probably or been on pins and needles. He would have definitely felt that. Thank you for the perspective.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Noreaster, is that a bernese mt. dog in your photo? He's beautiful. My son Hagan wants one. I know they are very much like goldens. But probably with more health problems.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Coby Love*



Coby Love said:


> Yep same thing. Test results, x-rays, and ultrasound all clear. And the weird thing is Coby responded to antibiotics and was fine. The whole thing is so strange. I guess perhaps it is better not to know. I would have been a wreck thinking he could die any minute. His last week he acted like a pup, slept with me, buried and unburied all of his bones, ate ice-cream, chased birds, had easter dinner. Had I known, I would have been a wreck and treated him differently probably or been on pins and needles. He would have definitely felt that. Thank you for the perspective.


Coby Love: I would have been a wreck, too. So glad that Coby enjoyed his last week-I know you gave him a very loving home!

When we second guess ourselves we put ourselves through such torture!
Coby wouldn't want you to do that!


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Coby Love said:


> Noreaster, is that a bernese mt. dog in your photo? He's beautiful. My son Hagan wants one. I know they are very much like goldens. But probably with more health problems.


She's actually a black tricolor Australian Shepherd...we love her so much but she is an ongoing project, behaviorally.

I think Berners are beautiful, too, although I don't know much about them.


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. What a gorgeous boy! My heart and soul dog died 17 years ago of cardiac hemangiosarcoma (a tumor in the heart) like your boy. 

It was one of the worst times in my life. I will spare you our long story, but when we made the decision to let her go, I had never felt such intense, physical pain. I remember crying uncontrollably, unable to make myself get out of bed. The physical pain subsided after a week or so but I know I cried daily for a very long time.

I met many people who didn't understand at all (It's JUST a dog - get over it!) and thankfully, many people who did.

There's no one-size-fits-all for this. Some find comfort getting another dog to help fill a void, some don't. Follow your heart and remember to be kind to yourself - Coby would want you to.

{hugs}


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

brianne said:


> I'm terribly sorry for your loss. What a gorgeous boy! My heart and soul dog died 17 years ago of cardiac hemangiosarcoma (a tumor in the heart) like your boy.
> 
> It was one of the worst times in my life. I will spare you our long story, but when we made the decision to let her go, I had never felt such intense, physical pain. I remember crying uncontrollably, unable to make myself get out of bed. The physical pain subsided after a week or so but I know I cried daily for a very long time.
> 
> ...


Thank you. This forum is really helping me. Your baby is beautiful too.! Thank you for saying how beautiful coby is. I know I'm partial, but I really think he is.


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## jacksmama (Mar 2, 2013)

Oh, honey. If I could give you the answer I would. I think we lost our babies on the same day ... did Coby pass on Wednesday? And I am feeling much the same way you describe except for the anger, because unlike you, we had some time to prepare. Even so, there's no easy way through. You just have to tell yourself, over and over and over again, that it will get easier ... microscopically easier ... slowly, each day. Right now we're raw and flayed open and bleeding. We just want our angels back. But it won't feel like this forever. And that's all I can offer you except for all good thoughts, prayers, and hope for healing. I'm in this with you and we will be okay. Coby (and Charlie) wouldn't have it any other way.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

jacksmama said:


> Oh, honey. If I could give you the answer I would. I think we lost our babies on the same day ... did Coby pass on Wednesday? And I am feeling much the same way you describe except for the anger, because unlike you, we had some time to prepare. Even so, there's no easy way through. You just have to tell yourself, over and over and over again, that it will get easier ... microscopically easier ... slowly, each day. Right now we're raw and flayed open and bleeding. We just want our angels back. But it won't feel like this forever. And that's all I can offer you except for all good thoughts, prayers, and hope for healing. I'm in this with you and we will be okay. Coby (and Charlie) wouldn't have it any other way.


Yes he died Wednesday evening. They stopped CPR at 6:13 PM. I'm so sorry about Charlie. I hope they are together. I mean they entered heaven on the exact same day! I'm glad they both had a friend to go with. 

The anger is finally subsiding a bit. I'm still second guessing everything. I should have given Coby completely organic food, not neutered him too early, exercised him more, put him on a diet.... on and on. I know it's another stage. I'll get to A-acceptance one of these days. It hasn't been too long for either of us. My heart goes out to you.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

I am not sure if I have posted this story before. Please bear with me if I have. I volunteer for the Riding for the Disabled in my area and work mainly as a Leader and horse handler. We had a little black Shetland called Toby who started the same day I did. He was a real cutey and adored our Horse Manager and the feeling was mutual. One day I had some extra time on my hands and asked the HM if I could bring him up and give him a brush as he hadn't been up for a while. I brought him up and gave him the works - complete head to toe grooming, no shortcuts. At the same time the HM came over and we talked about how amazing he was, told stories about his mischievious antics and she got down in the dirt and put her arms around him and told him how much she loved him. It was a Tobyfest of major proportions. The next morning she rang to tell me that she had found him dead in the paddock. Of course there were tears and we were so sorry he was gone. But our consolation was that we had spent this special time with him and that he knew he was loved and that if we had known that it was his last day we would have done exactly what we did. I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you know you are about to lose your best friend you can give them that special time and if you don't know, hopefully like Melakat you can celebrate that special walk.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

I think the following has a place on this forum. It is probably already here somewhere!









​ 





 I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me. I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.
I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me), now that I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those of my fellow Dalmatians who are devout Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris, beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast (like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and the love of one's Master and Mistress.
I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.
One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog! I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendôme, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I have been able to in recent years. And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.
One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved." No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.
_Tao House, December 17th, 1940_


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## Honeydew's mom (Feb 1, 2015)

I am so sorry for your loss. The first hours, days, and week was gut wrenching grief that i have never experienced before. It hurt so bad i could not breathe. I did not go thru the anger stage of grief but my husband did ..he later told me he was so angry that he could not save her... I miss Honeydew everyday still and catch myself almost calling her name or looking for her at some time in every day. It has been 15 days. This forum helps alot, for me the people around me daily understood the first day and then nothing .."it was just a dog". I kept thinking whats wrong with me...but this forum helped me know that nothing is wrong with me except i lost the most unconditional love i had ever experienced in my entire life and the finality of her being gone is unbearable at first and forever sad going forward . 15 days i still cry..15 days i still look for her 15 days i still ache to kiss and pet her..15 days i still look at her tag and wish she was here. 15 days i can now go to the puppy forum and smile at others joy. 15 days are still hard but are better than the first hours, first day, first week. my thoughts are with you during thise first hours first days and first week .


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Harleysmum*



Harleysmum said:


> I am not sure if I have posted this story before. Please bear with me if I have. I volunteer for the Riding for the Disabled in my area and work mainly as a Leader and horse handler. We had a little black Shetland called Toby who started the same day I did. He was a real cutey and adored our Horse Manager and the feeling was mutual. One day I had some extra time on my hands and asked the HM if I could bring him up and give him a brush as he hadn't been up for a while. I brought him up and gave him the works - complete head to toe grooming, no shortcuts. At the same time the HM came over and we talked about how amazing he was, told stories about his mischievious antics and she got down in the dirt and put her arms around him and told him how much she loved him. It was a Tobyfest of major proportions. The next morning she rang to tell me that she had found him dead in the paddock. Of course there were tears and we were so sorry he was gone. But our consolation was that we had spent this special time with him and that he knew he was loved and that if we had known that it was his last day we would have done exactly what we did. I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you know you are about to lose your best friend you can give them that special time and if you don't know, hopefully like Melakat you can celebrate that special walk.


God Bless the little Shetland!


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

Our dogs give us so much and it is so unfair that we must say good-by to them so soon. Most of us have felt this pain and experienced this loss. We all deal with these tragedies in our own ways. Although they are gone from our lives, they will actually be with us in our minds eye and in our hearts forever. Their gift of love will enrich our lives going forward if we can focus on the memories and not just the loss.



Mourning the loss of a pet or a loved one is difficult. Having lost both of my parents over the last 15 years, I have attended a number of meetings with groups specialized in dealing with the mourning process. What I learned in these meetings had a profound impact on me and helped me get through these difficult times. I share some of the key points and quotes that helped me in my time of need. They have also helped me deal with mourning the loss of my Golden Retrievers over the years. I hope they help you in some way.
The mourning process is frequently presented as having 5 or 7 different stages. I prefer using the 5 stage model as it is simpler for me to work with. In theory, when you morn you should try and work through each of these stages. You do not necessarily go through them one after the other. Sometimes you might move from stage 1 to 2 and then back to 1. But, hopefully in your own time you will work through each stage. The only risk in this process is if you get ‘stuck’ in one phase which will not allow you to get to the last stage of acceptance. If you find yourself stuck, or if you feel that you just cannot get through the process, please seek professional help from a ‘grief counselor’, priest, or some other professional who is trained in this area. Their will come a time when you must get on with your life. Doing this cannot always be done without help. 
*1. **Shock and Denial*
a. As a normal defense mechanism we ‘Deny the reality of the loss’.
b.  We block out the words and hide from the shock.
*2. **Anger*
*a. *The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends, family, or even at one’s self.
b. Your vet may be a likely target of your anger, but in time you must move past these feelings.
*3. **Bargaining or Second Guessing*
a. e.g. If only we had sought medical attention sooner, or got another opinion, or taken better care of our dog…etc. 
b. We are attempting to somehow regain control of this situation 
*4. **Pain and Depression*
*a. *Can be part of our way of preparing for the separation from our loved one
*b. *Or may be associated with worrying about what we should do now or how do we deal with this?
*5. **Acceptance*
a. This Stage is marked by quite resignation and calm. 
b. Not everyone will reach this phase
*Some of my favorite comments and quotes….authors unknown*
· We go from loving them in the presence to loving them in the absence.
· Mourning is not the end of the relationship. Our love for them does not die with them.
· Mourning is not passive. It is a very active process.
· The mourning period has no time limit.
· Mourning is not linear. It cycles around again and again, sometimes when you least expect it. 



I'm Still Here 
Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace! 
Author Unknown


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

*Lovely poem*

The poem is beautiful. Thank you.



goldlover68 said:


> Our dogs give us so much and it is so unfair that we must say good-by to them so soon. Most of us have felt this pain and experienced this loss. We all deal with these tragedies in our own ways. Although they are gone from our lives, they will actually be with us in our minds eye and in our hearts forever. Their gift of love will enrich our lives going forward if we can focus on the memories and not just the loss.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Thank you for sharing this. I love it.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

*I love this. Thank you!*

I love this. Thank you!



Harleysmum said:


> I think the following has a place on this forum. It is probably already here somewhere!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Your honeydew is a beautiful girl! I am so sorry for your loss too. 15 days... is still just such a short time. I can only imagine this goes on for months. My heart goes out to you and your husband. It's good to know we are not alone. Bless you.



Honeydew's mom said:


> I am so sorry for your loss. The first hours, days, and week was gut wrenching grief that i have never experienced before. It hurt so bad i could not breathe. I did not go thru the anger stage of grief but my husband did ..he later told me he was so angry that he could not save her... I miss Honeydew everyday still and catch myself almost calling her name or looking for her at some time in every day. It has been 15 days. This forum helps alot, for me the people around me daily understood the first day and then nothing .."it was just a dog". I kept thinking whats wrong with me...but this forum helped me know that nothing is wrong with me except i lost the most unconditional love i had ever experienced in my entire life and the finality of her being gone is unbearable at first and forever sad going forward . 15 days i still cry..15 days i still look for her 15 days i still ache to kiss and pet her..15 days i still look at her tag and wish she was here. 15 days i can now go to the puppy forum and smile at others joy. 15 days are still hard but are better than the first hours, first day, first week. my thoughts are with you during thise first hours first days and first week .


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

I lost Ruby, my beautiful agility partner and best friend, to cardiac hemangiosarcoma about a month ago. She was 8 years old. Like your dog, there was no prior warning until she collapsed: she was a healthy, athletic, joyful dog until her tumour ruptured. In our case the emergency vet removed the fluid from around her heart, but investigation by a cardiologist and oncologist revealed that the tumour was large, inoperable and untreatable. Even with chemotherapy, Ruby would not have had long: we were told that two months was a realistic estimate. We opted not to treat her. This was a dog who lived every minute to the fullest; she would have hated the recurrent trips to the vet, the needles, feeling unwell, and having to live carefully. Instead, we took her home, gave her 24 hours doing all the things she loved most, then sent her gently on her way from her favourite cushion in our kitchen. I have absolutely no doubt that if she could have chosen what to do, this is what she would have wanted in the circumstances.

I like to think that, while the disease took her life, it never got a chance to take her joy.

This is a nasty, awful disease, and there's no describing the shock and pain when a perfectly healthy dog dies suddenly like that. Just knowing that others understand can help. For me, it has been a month and there's still a level of pain and grief that literally takes my breath away, several times a day. Times when I have to stop what I'm doing and just sit down to be able to breathe. Days when I look outside and think: why is the sun shining when Ruby is dead? 

But it does become bearable. Humans are adaptable. They learn to live with stuff. In my case, it's becoming bearable for short periods. There are times when I can smile and enjoy things, when the world seems almost normal. Then I remember, and the sadness comes back. 

I have friends who lost a dog in similar circumstances, and within a week they had a new puppy. It helped them; this was their way of dealing with it. As for me, I don't feel capable of loving another dog right now, but I know this will change. I started looking for potential litters due this summer or fall. Thinking about a puppy, looking to the future: it has helped. I think I've found the breeder I want to work with, and sent my application off last night for a litter due in late summer. I'm sad and excited at the same time.

The next hard step will be my first agility trial without Ruby. My daughter competes in agility with her own dog, so it's something I can't avoid, and the date is fast approaching. But "dog people" are wonderful. I know I'll have a lot of support.

The other thing I have decided to do is to organize a fundraising campaign this summer for canine cancer research. I'm hoping to raise a decent amount of money for a foundation working specifically on cancer in golden retrievers. This will be something positive, something that will give some meaning to Ruby's death. I can't bear to think that she died for nothing, and planning the campaign is helping. 

I don't think I'll ever come to terms with the awful cruelty or randomness of what happened to my wonderful dog, but today, a month since she died, I'm beginning to think I'll eventually be able to live with it and move on. I couldn't have said that three weeks ago.

So know that there are plenty of us out there who share your pain and are thinking about you. We all find our ways of moving forward, and you'll find yours too.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Dear CeeGee,

Thank you so much. I'm glad you got a peaceful last 24 hours with your Ruby. I wish I had had the same. However I probably would have elected to treat Coby if I could have and now reading your post I see how selfish that would have been. I think you did absolutely the right thing. Usually I have such great intuition and I could not figure out why God did not warn me, like he usually does with things. The only thing I can think of is he was saving me, my son and coby from excruciating months of treatment and 10s of thousands of dollars later, still to no avail.

Your post also makes me feel better (in a strange way) because I kept thinking it's my fault Coby had cancer. I didn't exercise him enough. I fed him too many treats. I should have only fed him meat and vegetables and on and on. Knowing that your pup was super athletic and still got cancer alleviates some of the guilt. It is hard to accept that cancer in dogs is just the same as nasty cancer in humans. It is no respecter of person, or age, or vitality.

I like your idea very much of starting a foundation for cancer research. I am almost afraid of getting another golden. I'm so scared he would just die of cancer again. I feel that I would act like a nut controlling everything he ate and did. Ugh. 

I'm sure it will pass and like you, I may start filling out puppy forms. 

Truly this Forum is the ONLY thing that gives me in solace whatsoever. I try and go do something else, and I actually left the house today. But all I really want to do is sit on my couch with my laptop and read this forum. Thank you to everyone who is helping me. This forum is a God send. 

I'm so sorry you lost your baby. I'm excited for you though about your upcoming baby. Keep me posted!



ceegee said:


> I lost Ruby, my beautiful agility partner and best friend, to cardiac hemangiosarcoma about a month ago. She was 8 years old. Like your dog, there was no prior warning until she collapsed: she was a healthy, athletic, joyful dog until her tumour ruptured. In our case the emergency vet removed the fluid from around her heart, but investigation by a cardiologist and oncologist revealed that the tumour was large, inoperable and untreatable. Even with chemotherapy, Ruby would not have had long: we were told that two months was a realistic estimate. We opted not to treat her. This was a dog who lived every minute to the fullest; she would have hated the recurrent trips to the vet, the needles, feeling unwell, and having to live carefully. Instead, we took her home, gave her 24 hours doing all the things she loved most, then sent her gently on her way from her favourite cushion in our kitchen. I have absolutely no doubt that if she could have chosen what to do, this is what she would have wanted in the circumstances.
> 
> I like to think that, while the disease took her life, it never got a chance to take her joy.
> 
> ...


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## jacksmama (Mar 2, 2013)

ceegee said:


> The other thing I have decided to do is to organize a fundraising campaign this summer for canine cancer research. I'm hoping to raise a decent amount of money for a foundation working specifically on cancer in golden retrievers. This will be something positive, something that will give some meaning to Ruby's death. I can't bear to think that she died for nothing, and planning the campaign is helping.


Thank you, thank you, thank you for thinking of doing something like this. I have lost two beloved goldens, Jack and Charlie, within two years (Charlie left us last week, and I'm crying just typing that) of cancer. Not the same kind Ruby and Coby had, but cancer. Horrible, cruel, heartbreaking, thieving cancer. I hate it. My 9-year-old son says he wants to find a cure for canine cancer when he grows up, and God bless him, I hope he does. His heart has been shattered two times in as many years, and it's just not fair for any of us. 

Coby Love, I'm still holding you and yours in my heart as we travel this road of grief across a distance, but together.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

God bless your son! What a sweetheart. I just keep thinking of Coby and Charlie together, the two Cs inside the gates of heaven at the rainbow bridge. Them having each other makes me happy. Honestly, this forum is the only place I find any peace. I just want to sit here all day, on the couch with my laptop and be on this forum. It helps. Thank you all.



jacksmama said:


> Thank you, thank you, thank you for thinking of doing something like this. I have lost two beloved goldens, Jack and Charlie, within two years (Charlie left us last week, and I'm crying just typing that) of cancer. Not the same kind Ruby and Coby had, but cancer. Horrible, cruel, heartbreaking, thieving cancer. I hate it. My 9-year-old son says he wants to find a cure for canine cancer when he grows up, and God bless him, I hope he does. His heart has been shattered two times in as many years, and it's just not fair for any of us.
> 
> Coby Love, I'm still holding you and yours in my heart as we travel this road of grief across a distance, but together.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

Coby Love said:


> I just want to sit here all day, on the couch with my laptop and be on this forum. It helps. Thank you all.


You just go right ahead, you have plenty of people here who can relate with your pain and are honestly very helpful and happy to help you in your situation.


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## cram501 (Nov 16, 2014)

I lost Abby back in November to Hemangiosarcoma in the bone. It still hurts. I'll get depressed when I start thinking about her but I always end up smiling in the end. 

I work from home and we spent 12 years together almost 24x7. There were so many wonderful moments with her. Those memories far outweigh the anguish of losing her in the end.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

I'm so sorry about your loss of Abby. I'm glad you had 12 years together. Ugh.. this is all so hard. I had my best friend here today and we laughed and laughed and I needed it. But in tiny moments, Coby would come to mind, and that heart sickness feeling swept over me. As soon as she left, I couldn't wait to get back on this forum, because it makes me feel close to my Coby.


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## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

You guys might be interested in the Golden Retriever Lifetime Study. We have several Heroes here on this forum. Just this month we reached our goal of enrolling 3000 Goldens into the study. We will beat this thing !!. Here is a thread with more info. http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...iever-lifetime-study-details-information.html. The study is now closed but we can always use help with fund raising.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Awesome. Thank you!


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss of Coby. I am glad you found this forum, it is a great place for support. We all do understand how it hurts to lose our babies. Coby will live in your heart forever and you will never forget him!!


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Little Auggie is just darling!



Test-ok said:


> Just remember Coby isn't gone...he was just passin through. As life does on Earth.


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

We hurt to the degree we loved. Feeling the loss of a beloved friend so deeply just means we loved them with our whole heart. I'm one who believes they're spiritual beings going through the Earthly experience like the rest of us. But I think goldens are higher spiritual forms than we are. One day in the distant future we're going to be blown away by the sight of what our boys and girls actually were: angels sent to Earth for a time to teach mankind about unconditional love. We're gonna need shades they'll dazzle us so brightly 

I'm sorry for your loss of Cody and know how much it hurts. He's fine. And you will love another again just as much as you love Cody. They won't take his place, but becaise Cody made your heart bigger there's just as much capacity to love another boy or girl one day just as much. Our golden boys and girls want us to be happy and only smile at the thought of them, not cry. When you find you're smiling more than crying when you think of Cody, you're probably ready to welcome a new fur kid into your life. When you do, think about Cody beaming from ear to ear in joy for you.


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Thank you SandyK. 



SandyK said:


> I am so sorry for your loss of Coby. I am glad you found this forum, it is a great place for support. We all do understand how it hurts to lose our babies. Coby will live in your heart forever and you will never forget him!!


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

Thank you. 



dborgers said:


> We hurt to the degree we loved. Feeling the loss of a beloved friend so deeply just means we loved them with our whole heart. I'm one who believes they're spiritual beings going through the Earthly experience like the rest of us. But I think goldens are higher spiritual forms than we are. One day in the distant future we're going to be blown away by the sight of what our boys and girls actually were: angels sent to Earth for a time to teach mankind about unconditional love. We're gonna need shades they'll dazzle us so brightly
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Susan Marie*



Claire's Friend said:


> You guys might be interested in the Golden Retriever Lifetime Study. We have several Heroes here on this forum. Just this month we reached our goal of enrolling 3000 Goldens into the study. We will beat this thing !!. Here is a thread with more info. http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...iever-lifetime-study-details-information.html. The study is now closed but we can always use help with fund raising.


Susan Marie: Thank you for letting all of us know this. I KNOW we have many heroes here on the forum!!


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## rabernet (Feb 24, 2015)

Claire's Friend said:


> You guys might be interested in the Golden Retriever Lifetime Study. We have several Heroes here on this forum. Just this month we reached our goal of enrolling 3000 Goldens into the study. We will beat this thing !!. Here is a thread with more info. http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...iever-lifetime-study-details-information.html. The study is now closed but we can always use help with fund raising.


I would have loved to enroll Noah in the study - but it's AWESOME that you got your 3000 Goldens!


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## Coby Love (Apr 9, 2015)

*Two weeks today*

Well it's been two weeks today. It's been a whirl wind between having company, big events at work and for a humanitarian org I volunteer for. I am still in the midst of all of the work and am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I would feel overwhelmed even without the loss of Coby. One of my best friends came in last weekend, and with all we had to do, it kept my mind off of the dog. But without her here now, I'm left with no diversion. 

I had a dream two nights ago about a sweet dalmatian but he was gray and black spotted instead of black and white. He was resting his head on my chest while I pet him and told him how beautiful and sweet he was. Problem was he was someone else's dog but he wanted to go home with me. So I let him and then they came and got him. So weird! But the feeling of petting the dog and being with him and the warmth was all very real. 

So in all honesty I need some rest and time to grieve my dog. Hoping I can make it through until these next couple weeks are over and the work is done. I'll take any prayers and good thoughts you can send my way. Thanks.


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## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

Tons of Golden prayers and good thoughts heading your way XXOO


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Sending hugs and prayers, it's "hump-day" so just a bit longer and you will be at the weekend. xoxo


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## Coopsmom (Jan 13, 2015)

Coby Love said:


> Well it's been two weeks today. It's been a whirl wind between having company, big events at work and for a humanitarian org I volunteer for. I am still in the midst of all of the work and am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I would feel overwhelmed even without the loss of Coby. One of my best friends came in last weekend, and with all we had to do, it kept my mind off of the dog. But without her here now, I'm left with no diversion.
> 
> I had a dream two nights ago about a sweet dalmatian but he was gray and black spotted instead of black and white. He was resting his head on my chest while I pet him and told him how beautiful and sweet he was. Problem was he was someone else's dog but he wanted to go home with me. So I let him and then they came and got him. So weird! But the feeling of petting the dog and being with him and the warmth was all very real.
> 
> So in all honesty I need some rest and time to grieve my dog. Hoping I can make it through until these next couple weeks are over and the work is done. I'll take any prayers and good thoughts you can send my way. Thanks.


Your feelings are completely normal and grief usually takes much longer than we wish... there is no 'easy' way through it and you are probably 100% correct that you need some time to rest and grieve. Do take some time to rest and reflect when you're able. Wishing you loving golden (or dalmatian) thoughts memories and dreams to comfort you!


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Positive thoughts and prayers headed your way  

Just a suggestion: If you find in the near future with too much free time on your hands, perhaps consider volunteering at your local shelter giving fur friends baths, walking them, giving them some much needed affection and attention. It'll help you and those poor fur friends.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Healing prayers*



Coby Love said:


> Well it's been two weeks today. It's been a whirl wind between having company, big events at work and for a humanitarian org I volunteer for. I am still in the midst of all of the work and am feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I would feel overwhelmed even without the loss of Coby. One of my best friends came in last weekend, and with all we had to do, it kept my mind off of the dog. But without her here now, I'm left with no diversion.
> 
> I had a dream two nights ago about a sweet dalmatian but he was gray and black spotted instead of black and white. He was resting his head on my chest while I pet him and told him how beautiful and sweet he was. Problem was he was someone else's dog but he wanted to go home with me. So I let him and then they came and got him. So weird! But the feeling of petting the dog and being with him and the warmth was all very real.
> 
> So in all honesty I need some rest and time to grieve my dog. Hoping I can make it through until these next couple weeks are over and the work is done. I'll take any prayers and good thoughts you can send my way. Thanks.


Healing thoughts and prayers are with you. It will get a bit easier, each day. Just remember that Coby would want you to be happy!


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