# The "rope" trick...



## monomer

For the last several months now, we've been driving 80+ miles (each-way) to the dog park about once a week... its great socialization for Sidney... and for me too! My wife usually gets in some shopping at the malls and we have a nice dinner later, while Sidney is totally 'crashed-out' in the back of the van.

Well, two weeks ago down at the dog park... we had just arrived and within 10-minutes Sidney had a big bowel movement (a real 'poop-zilla' so to speak)... it took two hands to scoop it all up (YES! they were both in an inverted plastic bag!). By this time we were traveling around the park in a large group of dogs and owners. About 10-minutes later Sidney does another large 'drop'... this one is a little softer than the first. I'm thinking, Wow! I didn't realize we even fed him that much food in a day. Then about 5-minutes later he squats yet again and strains like the third poop of the day is coming... he straightens for a moment, walks a short distance and 'assumes the position' again. I go over to where he'd just been and... nothing's there! Then one of the other owners points to Sidney and says, "Poor guy, he's got something hanging from his butt." At first it looks like a long skinny stick stuck to his butt feathers to me... so I go to remove it and to my amazement it's almost pure grass and it's coming out of his butt! With one person holding his head, I lift his tail with one hand and with the other 'gloved' hand I grasp this thing and slowly start to pull... IT'S MADE OUT OF LONG, DRIED GRASS THAT'S BEEN WOVEN BY HIS 'INTERNALS'! Because I don't want it to break off, I time my pulling efforts to coincide with the relaxation of Sidney's rectal muscles. So, slowly and gently, a couple of inches at a time, I begin pulling this grass 'rope' out of Sidney's butt. Each time I pull a couple of more inches out, I can hear the crowd gasp and then there's sounds of amazement... after about 12" of this, I look up and realize I'm the center of a 'magic act'. It's the "pulling a rabbit out of a hat" trick... okay, so it's a variation on that theme. After about another 4 more inches, it breaks off and the show's over. At this point everyone files past to see the two-foot grass 'rope' that just came out of my dog's butt. The 'rope trick' was the 'talk of town' for the next 15-minutes or so at the park. I gotta admit, it was kinda nice having a 'magic' dog for awhile... and Sidney sure loved all the attention after, not to mention the big 'relief'.

Hope I didn't gross anyone out here but it was our 15-minutes of fame... and I just thought I'd 'share'.


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## greg bell

thanks..I just laughed my coffee all over my keyboard..


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## RickGibbs

I just hope you didn't inspire some young magician to add this trick to his stage show......:yuck:


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## shaneamber

WOW! What did he eat! He must of had a terrible stomach ache to have eaten that much grass. Did he have something new to eat the night before.I would be concerned because that is way not normal. You did a good job in not forcing it out,if it had been intangled inside and you forced it out,well you know.
Keep an eye on him and next time get an assistant. 
Shane


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## goldencharm

that is so grossss!!:yuck: :yuck: :yuck: :yuck:


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## monomer

shaneamber said:


> WOW! What did he eat! He must of had a terrible stomach ache to have eaten that much grass. Did he have something new to eat the night before.I would be concerned because that is way not normal...


Later after thinking about it, I recalled him in the backyard the evening before doing something under one of our pine trees at the edge of our property line. There's no snow under these trees and I don't really mow under them in the summer, so long, thin strands of grass are clump under them and dried by the winter season. I just saw him under one of these trees with his head bobbing up and down and thought he found some 'poop' to eat, so I banged on the window and finally had to go to the back door and call him in. The first thing I did after he came in 'smacking his lips' was smell his breath... I was so relieved it didn't smell like $hi+ I just told him what a "good boy" he was and promptly forgot about the whole incident until after the "rope trick".


goldencharm said:


> that is so grossss!!:yuck: :yuck: :yuck: :yuck:


...ah yes, but yet somehow we just can't seem look away can we


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## goldencrazy

Ahhh - another one of the joys of dog ownership.

On a miniature variation of your theme, our Abbey (see Avatar) once had some poop left hanging out of her butt because of intertwined hair/grass. After she finished her business and started walking away, the danging material would swing and bop her in the rear. She would stop and whirl to try and catch whatever was smacking up against her posterior. Then she would take off running to escape the unseen annoyance. When running didn't work she went back to the whirling and finally resorted to scooting - which then embedded the mess into her butt feathers. That's when I had to stop laughing and resort to some rather unpleasant extraction activities.

No audience though (thank goodness).


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## katieanddusty

Wow ...


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## FranH

Amazing.................I don't think I could have stomached that one. And you had an audience?? LOL


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## lola'smommy

That is the weirdest thing. I think I would of been grossly intrigued, as well. I've had to pull a few inches of grass out of Lola's butt. But 2 freaking feet?? I think Lola would of passed out.


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## MegB

lola'smommy said:


> I think Lola would of passed out.


I think _*I*_ would have passed out!:yuck:


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## monomer

lola'smommy said:


> That is the weirdest thing. I think I would of been grossly intrigued, as well. I've had to pull a few inches of grass out of Lola's butt. But 2 freaking feet?? I think Lola would of passed out.


You know, I really think it was only about 10" or so in length when it was inside Sidney but the constant tension on the 'rope' caused it to stretch out and the woven nature of the strands held it all together as it was being stretched out... I think the effect really enhanced the illusion though... and thus the fascination. Out of about 8 people, no one looked away...


MegB said:


> I think _*I*_ would have passed out!:yuck:


From the smell?
Naw, it was almost pure grass... if it were pure $hi+ believe me, I would've passed out myself.
Dogs lack the enzymes necessary to break-down cellulose, which is why grass travels on through 'unmolested' by their digestive tract. I think it just kept pushing everything ahead of it... talk about getting more fiber in one's diet... I'm sure Sidney was completely 'cleaned out' after that one... he sure was hungry when we finally got home that evening.


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## lola'smommy

I was having my husband read this thread last night. It was so funny watching his face as he was reading. It was like   After reading it, he still was just standing there. Finally he piped up and asks, "I wonder if he kept the rope". Gosh, such a typical guy thing to say.


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## monomer

lola'smommy said:


> ..."I wonder if he kept the rope". Gosh, such a typical guy thing to say.


Cheez, I don't quite know how to take that remark... I am, after all, a 'member of the club' so to speak.

However I will tell you, I wish I had kept it... or at least gotten a picture of it. But I did leave it in front of one of the 'doggie poop bins' for awhile... I guess I wanted others to marvel at the great 'achievement'. I now wonder if Sidney could have made it into the Guinness Book of World Records??? Sigh...


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## lola'smommy

:lol: Am I the only one that thinks this is soo funny!? Yea, you should of taken a picture and then submitted it to Guinness. You never know. Your dog could be famous for his rope trick!


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## 3 goldens

That is so funny---but I am glad it happened to you and not me. I have seen our dogs get "dingle berries" because of hair, grass, and a few times because of embroidry thread. They walk around all humped over trying to get rid of it. gotta feel sorry for them. They have always managed to get rid of the dingle berry, thank goodness.


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## lola'smommy

Yes, I'm familiar with picking up multi-colored fuzzy poo!! I don't freak out anymore. I just shake my head and scoop wondering what the next pile will look like.


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## ty823

This reminds me of a George Carlin bit... He said that he used to feed his dog rubber bands so that all of the +urds had a little rubber loop sticking out of them and it made for easy clean-up. 
Also how his dog would eat tinsel off the Christmas tree and leave homemade ornaments laying out in the yard


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## monomer

ty823 said:


> This reminds me of a George Carlin bit... He said that he used to feed his dog rubber bands so that all of the +urds had a little rubber loop sticking out of them and it made for easy clean-up.
> Also how his dog would eat tinsel off the Christmas tree and leave homemade ornaments laying out in the yard


WOW! Brilliant ideas!!!! That George Carlin guy's a genius!!!!!!!!!
I could use the rubber bands to 'sling shot' the poop right out of the yard. Anyone know where I can buy a 50-lbs bag of rubber bands from?


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## shaneamber

Just feed him those little "super balls", you know those balls that bounce like crazy. Then all you would need is a golf club and yell POOP as you swing. 
Ahhhh...that's a sh-tty idea. 
Shane


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## Miss Daisy's Mom

:lol: :lol: You guys are SO cracking me up!!! I have to be careful because everyone else is asleep and I'm sitting here laughing at my monitor like a crazy person! :bowrofl:


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## lola'smommy

That is too funny!! The last idea sounds like something that came from my hubby, too. In fact that is how he "plays" or "interacts" with the dogs. He goes outside and hits the tennis ball up against the back fence with his golf club and the dogs run and get it, brings the ball to him and so on and so on. He doesn't have to move. He can practice his golf swing. He can still have his cigarette. And, mean while he his bonding with his dogs. Can't you just feel the love? (sarcasm). Honestly, I don't get it. I would rather be wrestling and playing with Lola.


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## LauraEyes2

LOL, good story Monomer. Where's your camera cell phone when you need it?


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## ty823

shaneamber said:


> Just feed him those little "super balls", you know those balls that bounce like crazy. Then all you would need is a golf club and yell POOP as you swing.
> Ahhhh...that's a sh-tty idea.
> Shane



:lol: good one!


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## LuvOllie

(laughing) Thanks for the images!! I can see it now!!


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## greg bell

man..this is a "Hall of Fame" thread..


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## krbshappy71

shaneamber said:


> Just feed him those little "super balls", you know those balls that bounce like crazy. Then all you would need is a golf club and yell POOP as you swing.
> Ahhhh...that's a sh-tty idea.
> Shane


:bowrofl: You guys are killing me. Between picturing the Golden dressed as a Magician and Shane playing golf.....this forum is grrrreat.

"the rope trick" what a title!! 
:bowrofl:


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## goldencity

Thanks for that - a good laugh is always wellcome!

Why do dogs always wait untill theres an audience before they do something embarresing? 

Our old dog Lucy used to love socks- so much so that her poop often came out "ready wrapped"


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## sam

I had a similiar experience with a missing pair of my pantyhose! When I saw about 4 inches of a toe hanging out of my dear, departed Samantha's butt, I called the vet. They told me NOT to pull, under any circumstances (for fear of disemboweling her!!!); rather, I had to "trim" off whatever length of panty hose happened to come out during each bowel movement! Needless to say, it was a LONG week!!! (and I threw those scissors in the trash!) I bow great respect to Monomer's "extraction" technique!!!


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## Joe

Guys, I just discovered this thread. Somewhat I had to overlook this one...
Anyhow, I read it, then my wife and we are still laughing at it.
Good story telling Monomer, maybe you should write the book and become millionaire like that guy who wrote 'Marley and Me' , you definitely have a talent there...
joe


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## gold'nchocolate

*I missed this the first time around*

This thread is cracking me up--I'm bumping it up to the top so other's can enjoy it too!


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## Katiesmommy

oh my gooodness I dont want to imagine...yack thats all I can say lol


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## gold'nchocolate

Bumping this again for our newest members to enjoy  :wavey:


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## KatzNK9

OMG, I've been laughing so hard my sides hurt. Tears continue to roll down my cheeks. I totally lost my composure at the point of "Poopzilla" ... (sheesh, I'm still laughing so much that it is hard to type).

I just have to ask, WHAT DOES HE DO FOR AN ENCORE?

It is the little things in life that amuse dog (and cat, too, I'm sure) lovers.

On a serious note, whew ... sure glad he gotta that outta there as it sounds like he could have been headed for some serious trouble had it stayed inside. Yikes! But, I'm sure he feels all better now & is looking for his next unusual "meal".

Abracadabra ... OMG, the tears ares still flowing non-stop. My sides are splitting! Don't do that to me again (at least until there's another story that is a must tell).

Priceless! One for the history books! Best laugh I've had in ages & ages & ages.


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## RickGibbs

KatzNK9 said:


> Priceless! One for the history books! Best laugh I've had in ages & ages & ages.


And this thread just never goes away.....:lol:


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## Lego&Jacub

oh my gosh! that is just a WAY tooo funny story!!!


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## ourpuppy07

LOL That is so hilarious! You can only imagine what those guys get into...thats the funniest poop story I have ever heard.


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## goldlover

*the "rope" trick*

I'm screaming out loud....so funny!!! SO glad he passed this rope.


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## Faith's mommy

you just described my Tuesday mornings in the summer. on weekends i take Faith to a park and she gobbles up all sorts of long grasses that take a few days to get through her system. then, Tues morning i have to have extra bags ready as gloves to help pull it all out.

the story about the poop bopping the dog on the butt and making him run was cracking me the hell up.


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## vrocco1

That was a good story.

I saw a couple of familiar names in there that don't come around anymore. I should send them all a PM and see what happens.


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## monomer

vrocco1 said:


> That was a good story.
> 
> I saw a couple of familiar names in there that don't come around anymore. I should send them all a PM and see what happens.


Do it... and let me know who responds back. I was kinda curious myself...


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## Ninde'Gold

Tucker chewed apart his rope toy, and needless to say.... I found a big "rope" in the backyard... luckily I didn't have to detach it from him though...lol. :yuck:


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## Nellie and Sophie's mom

Anyone ever had the pleasure of technicolor piles in the yard from eating crayons? I have. Makes cleaning up more interesting that way.


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