# Am I a bad owner?



## Fenway22 (Jun 27, 2013)

I have a 17 month golden who is out of control! He doesn't listen to any commands except for sit, most of the time. We have tried professional training however we had to stop due to time and money, he would ok in class but as soon as we got home he would just not listen to us. 
Both my husband and I work full-time and we leave Fenway in a crate all day, we have tried 2 different watering bowls and all he does is chew/break them off the crate door, if I try to leave a bowl he will just dump it and chew on it. He takes shoes all the time, we have tried to calmly respond, given the one and only toy he hasn't destroyed and he will go right back to the shoe the minute I drop it, I have even hit his nose with the shoe and told him no in a firm voice, doesn't work! We have been trying to train him to not jump up on us or the kids or to get on furniture, he still does it! Every night we are constantly telling him to get off of us or the couch. We live in a small house and only have a tie out for him in the backyard, we were taking him out for walks to go the bathroom but the pulling was so bad he would hurt my shoulders! I have since bought one of those leash things that you put around his muzzle and it seems to work pretty good but still pulling. I don't think we have the time or patience anymore for him. We bought him from a breeder when he was about 17 weeks old and from the beginning he didn't obey.
What should I do?


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## Tucker's mommy (Nov 9, 2011)

Sounds to me like your dog might need a LOT more exercise. It's a shame you have to keep him crated all day while you work - he is most likely just so out of control excited when you're home with him that he's having trouble keeping it together. If his only exercise is short bathroom walks and his tie-out, that could be part of the problem. Maybe you could consider longer walks for him - you'd be amazed at the benefit of exercise for these dogs. Our pup (he's two years old now) usually gets around three miles of walking a day along with a few games of fetch in the yard. As long as he gets that, he's a happy dog. Good luck - and definitely give the exercise a try.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Are you using some really good treats and working all the time on the basics? Sit, Down, Off, Stay, etc. Five minutes at a time for 3 or 4 times a day and everyone participating. At the minimum he should be getting 45 minutes of exercise every night in the form of walking. Then we have mental games we need to get him involved in. Mental tires out a dog also and works that brain. My husband and I both work but we come home for lunch. Tayla has been crated most of the day every day until the past 3 or 4 months when, with baby steps, she got 15 minutes out when we were gone, then 30 and as of last week she is out 24/7. We still restrict access to certain rooms, but she has been very good. You just are not giving that dog what he needs in the way of exercise, discipline and mental stimulation. I can say this because Tayla won't listen to my husband and he isn't doing what needs to be done in her training either. We are starting to enforce things with him. I have jars of treats all over the house and he has to work 1 thing with her in every area they are in together. If you want to do it bad enough you will.


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## KeaColorado (Jan 2, 2013)

It sounds to me like you maybe underestimated the amount of time and work it takes to raise a puppy. It's a big job, but the payoff is big in the end  Puppies don't come knowing how to obey, they have to be taught. Have you tried one of those metal watering pails that you can attach to the crate door with a metal clip? What about hiring a dog walker to take him out in the middle of the day while you're at work? Does he have appropriate chew toys in his crate? A kong stuffed with frozen moistened kibble and some peanut butter is a fantastic puppy pacifier. You could also try picking up/putting away shoes and anything else that he might be tempted to play with in the house and only allow him access to his toys. Is he motivated by food? I found that taking treats on walks paired with a command for walking where I wanted Kea to be and a reward for being in that spot worked great (I use "let's walk", which is different from "heel" since we do competitive obedience...). There are some good youtube videos if you do a search for training loose leash walking. Do you have a dog park or another secure fenced area where you can take him to run? How about contacting the breeder? Our breeder was an invaluable source of information for any health or training issues we had when Kea was a puppy teenager. Good luck, and I'm sorry you're experiencing these challenges!


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## LilBitBit (Jan 15, 2012)

I agree that exercise does wonders for an excitable puppy - if you can't do a walk, see if he knows how to fetch and throw a ball for him, I know Buddy tires in about 15-20 minutes of constant fetch. If that's not feasible I'd suggest seeing if you can get a dog-walker to come by once a day just to let him out and play with him/walk him. Everybody says Goldens are active and mostly you blow it off but seriously, these are ACTIVE dogs. They really do need to be walked, more than once a day.

I feel like maybe taking the shoe is his way of getting attention, albeit negative attention. After all, he's now learned that if he takes your shoe, you look at him, you talk to him, you interact with him.

I'd also suggest using YouTube videos, there are a handful of really good ones for dog training. And practice practice practice! Work on one thing at a time, work slowly. This also will help your dog calm down; remember what I said above, about attention? When training, your attention is 100 percent on him and he'll know it.

My last suggestion is treat toys/interactive toys. These are a godsend. They sell a wide variety and these toys make your dog work in order to get treats (eg., they have to roll the ball or lift the lid). It's mentally tiring for your pup, which is good because that means less mental energy can go towards destroying your shoes or a water bowl!  Some dogs just don't get these, I know my Border Collie just won't play with them, but Buddy loves them.

P.S. 17 weeks, he may be chewing due to gum discomfort as well from losing baby teeth. See if he'll like ice cubes or his toy being frozen.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

My feeling is there is no quick fix to anything. You are probably looking at weeks to months of hard work and sacrifice on your part.... finally doing the job and giving your dog a happy life and making him better in the house. 

1. Lots of people go home on their lunch breaks to let the dogs out and give them time to run around and burn off energy. This if they do not have alternative arrangements (dogs staying with a family member during the day, going to daycare, etc). 

2. Training is an ongoing process - and needs daily (meaning you always have to be "on" and considering every situation a training situation outside of the formal training sessions) address. 

3. Daily walks at the same time every day gives your dog something outside of the bars of his cage to look forward to. The rest is he needs to have time to run around and be a dog. If you do not have a large yard, then I'm afraid you will have to look at other ways of getting him the appropriate daily exercise. I don't like dog parks, but I do see them as being useful for that reason. 

4. Getting on you and trying to be close to you on the couch is a sign of insecurity for some dogs. IF he is stressed out and not getting enough attention and interaction with his people, he may be reverting to puppy manners and trying to be close to you. If it's important for you to keep the dog off the couch, spend a couple hours of evening time or whatever sitting on the floor with him.... get down to his level. Even going outside in the yard and sitting down out there while he wanders around helps YOU calm down after a long day and it's good for him after being locked up in a cage all day. 

5. As you get everything sorted out and you lower his stress and anxiety level, let him burn off energy and have enough social time with you during the day... you will find him getting calmer and less destructive. 

6. Pulling.... I'm not a fan of nose collars. I think they are mean.  Training a dog to walk nice on leash outside of walks - sometimes helps. The usual "stop, make like a tree" methods work fine. As do, walking in circles, stopping to skritch his back and give him lots of love during the walk, stopping to play with him..... many of the things which get a dog's attention on YOU helps. But you have to be on the ball and praising and rewarding your dog when he is actually walking nice. 

Lots of people go overboard nagging on the dog to stop the pull (people yapping and yelling at their dogs while pulling and yanking on the leash), but they will have a tough time succeeding if they never communicate CLEARLY to their dogs. Communicating should always include praise and marker words (GOOD BOY, GOOD HEEL, or GOOD WALK, whatever) if the dog is going to get it.

Every day though - you have to work with your dog. Period.


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## gretzky (Dec 1, 2012)

I'll echo the exercise suggestion. We see a huge improvement when we walk Gretzky even just 30 minutes, or give him a couple of 10-minute training sessions. And those days when we get in a few 10-minute training sessions and two walks, he is the best dog. It's tempting to just throw the ball a few times and relax on the couch ... I know, I've been there! Try not to be hard on yourself. 



Sent from Petguide.com App


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## BCMmom (May 24, 2013)

Exercise,exercise,exercise. .. If my 13+ year old golden does not get his twice daily walk he is restless, chews up dishtowels, grabs socks etc... Lots of doggy day care places springing up around our area.. but that's a costly option....


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## Fenway22 (Jun 27, 2013)

Thanks everyone! We work about 45 minutes from work so going home at lunch isnt an option, I would LOVE to hire a dog walker or take him to doggie daycare but we really cant afford that. I have 2 children, 12 and 5 and they keep us busy as well. My son who's 12 plays 3 sports so were always going to games or practices which makes working with Fenway even more difficult. UGH!
I am going to try and work with him daily and try to get him more exercise.

Thank you again!


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Fenway22 said:


> Thanks everyone! We work about 45 minutes from work so going home at lunch isnt an option, I would LOVE to hire a dog walker or take him to doggie daycare but we really cant afford that. I have 2 children, 12 and 5 and they keep us busy as well. My son who's 12 plays 3 sports so were always going to games or practices which makes working with Fenway even more difficult. UGH!
> I am going to try and work with him daily and try to get him more exercise.
> 
> Thank you again!


This isn't so much about you, but it's important to point out... that the biggest reason why some breeders will not sell puppies to families with young children is because the parents are harried and scrambling to keep track of their kids and their kids' activities.... and the dogs get lost in the shuffle. 

And sometimes people do not really take in account how much their lives need to change to give their dogs a good quality life.... or even consider what that is exactly. 

If a young golden retriever is crated for over 10 hours a day without any interaction or care, then that may not be a good quality life for that dog. Especially when you come home tired and crabby and resent losing your limited "relax" time in the evening spending 4-5 hours taking care of the young dog.

It's manageable with older dogs who sleep most of the day anyway.... but it's tragic with young dogs who were bred for companionship to begin with. 

I'd probably tell my kid to choose between one of his sports and the dog as far as saving money. And get him to help you out a LOT more with the dog. At 12 years old, he's plenty old enough to help with training and walking.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

Once again, I say ,why do you get a puppy,if you do not have the time to take care of it, they need to play, run, walk, they need your time, too many people get.dogs and really do not have the time for them, being locked up all day,is not fair, for a puppy,or dog.


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

IMO a dog should not be crated all day......it's just not fair.


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## BriGuy (Aug 31, 2010)

Now that it is summer break, could you maybe find a college student or older high-schooler that you trust to take your guy out to play in the yard while you are at work? Even 30 minutes during the day will make him happier.

You mentioned that your son does sports - this is another nice thing about summer, Cookie attends all of my son's baseball games and she absolutely loves being around the kids and other spectators. I know what the time crunch is like...I'm a hockey dad myself and I don't think I ever sit down. 

Last thing - keep the shoes picked up! We were religious about this when Cookie was younger, and now she wouldn't think of chewing on shoes. Dogs repeat whatever was rewarding to them.

Try getting a clicker and some treats and go on youtube for kikopup videos. Training and learning can be just as tiring as exercise. Good luck!


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

He sounds a lot like my second golden who was a terror. It took me a long time -- about 2 years -- and a lot of work because I was just unaware of all his needs. Although I worked, he was not crated. I was not able to walk him because he would turn around and mouth my arm after walking just a few minutes. I did work with a private trainer who came to my home and was able to observe. I couldn't give up on him and just worked with him very hard and he turned out to be great. He just was stronger and smarter than me and he knew it, so I always had to be one step ahead of what he was thinking. I was a novice dog owner and if I could do it, I bet you can too. Good luck.


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Teach him to play fetch. The trick is to have two tennis balls. When he runs back with one say "GIVE!" and show him the other ball in your hand. He should drop the one in his mouth to run after that one. Works for me. Playing fetch is a whole lot of fun.

Find a large fenced in field at a school near you. Like a football field ... somewhere he can run a long way without you having to worry about him crossing the street or not coming back. Good place to practice "come" too. Pocketful of treats ... give him one every single time he comes back.

He's like one of your kids. You probably wouldn't leave your kid in a closet all day, right? (the crate). Kids need to play. You can imagine it gets pretty boring being stuck inside all the time. 

If you just don't think it'll work out, consider surrendering him to a rescue so he can have a fun life. BTW, he might enjoy going to a ballgame.


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## Tucker's mommy (Nov 9, 2011)

I can't resist adding another post - I really do feel for you. I have three young children under the age of nine, and we are EXTREMELY busy. We take part in sports, and my husband travels quite a bit for work. I am, however, a stay at home mom, which is a HUGE difference, from you, and I get that. But, there are a couple of things that could make your situation a ton easier. Ever try baby gates instead of a crate? How about giving him a section of your house during the day that's fully puppy/adolescent dog - proofed? It may work. 

And about fetch - I know some of my neighbors think I'm TOTALLY spoiling our dog, but our games involve some food treats (albeit it very small pea sized pieces) to keep him motivated. There are days when one of my kids is sick, or my husband is on travel for days on end, when I can't get out to give Tucker his three mile walk. Those days, the exercise is so important, I could care less that I'm bribing him to play with a few treats! It keeps the game fun for him, and it brings his energy down with all the running. 

One last thing - we have an invisible fence, and it works wonders for us, as our dog can run around our 3/4 acre lot without issue. Just a thought - although they take training to get used to, as well. 

Good luck!!!! I hope things work out for you and your family with your dog.


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## SammyinBC (Feb 19, 2013)

Sounds like an energy/exercise issue

Our 7 month old puppy has a partal CCl tear on her back right leg, so we've had to keep her more or less crated 22 hours a day and outside only on the leash for 4 weeks (we're on week 2).. She's going insane. She comes out of the crate and starts jumping on us because she is so excited and full of energy(never has done that before) she pulls like crazy on the leash as well. We had at first dedicated a small room for her to stay in during her recovery.. but lol she started eating the wall!

It might be worth putting an ad out there looking for a student who could walk the dog for an hour or 2 each day.. You might be able to find a neighbourhood kid who can take Fenway for a nice long way every day. Another possibility would be to see if there is a local dog park near you.. that way, you can have someone basically just take Fenway to the park and let him work on his exercise without having to pay 'dog walker' prices.

It really works wonders, before our dog had to be confined we tried to give her a good workout every day -- and then work on training, since she picks up on things much better when she's a bit pooped out. 

But at some point you're going to need to figure out a better solution that involves you and the kids. I doubt there is going to be a "training" solution that will fix your issues if your dog isn't getting his energy out at all


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## Leslie B (Mar 17, 2011)

Fenway22 said:


> I have a 17 month golden who is out of control! He doesn't listen to any commands except for sit, most of the time. We have tried professional training however we had to stop due to time and money, he would ok in class but as soon as we got home he would just not listen to us.
> Both my husband and I work full-time and we leave Fenway in a crate all day, we have tried 2 different watering bowls and all he does is chew/break them off the crate door, if I try to leave a bowl he will just dump it and chew on it. He takes shoes all the time, we have tried to calmly respond, given the one and only toy he hasn't destroyed and he will go right back to the shoe the minute I drop it, I have even hit his nose with the shoe and told him no in a firm voice, doesn't work! We have been trying to train him to not jump up on us or the kids or to get on furniture, he still does it! Every night we are constantly telling him to get off of us or the couch. We live in a small house and only have a tie out for him in the backyard, we were taking him out for walks to go the bathroom but the pulling was so bad he would hurt my shoulders! I have since bought one of those leash things that you put around his muzzle and it seems to work pretty good but still pulling. I don't think we have the time or patience anymore for him. We bought him from a breeder when he was about 17 weeks old and from the beginning he didn't obey.
> What should I do?


 
So, I will answer the question you posted in your title - Yes, IMO you are a bad owner. You are every breeders worst nightmare. You don't have the space (small yard) or the money (quit training because it was too expensive) or the time (both work full time) or the physical strength (he pulls too hard) or the patience (you hit him for chewing) to have a Golden Retriever. 

You should contact your breeder to see if she can take him back and find a home that is appropiate.

If you want a dog - to to Toy R Us and get a stuffed animal.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

To answer your "what should I do?" question, I think you should call the nearest golden retriever rescue and consider surrounding your dog to them. They will find this youngster his perfect forever home, one where he gets appropriate training and exercise, one where his people know how to correct behavior without putting hands on the dog in anger, one where his new owners will understand that dogs do not come out of the womb trained and perfectly behaved. I am not trying to be snotty or unkind. I simply think you aren't in a position, either emotionally or financially, to do right by this dog. Rehoming him would be a kindness. As to your statement that every night when you're trying to train him to get off of you or the couch, has this dog been for an hour's walk or played in a fenced-in area after being crated all day? I doubt it, so you will never, ever get the behaviors you're looking for from a bored, unexercised dog.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Leslie B said:


> So, I will answer the question you posted in your title - Yes, IMO you are a bad owner. You are every breeders worst nightmare. You don't have the space (small yard) or the money (quit training because it was too expensive) or the time (both work full time) or the physical strength (he pulls too hard) or the patience (you hit him for chewing) to have a Golden Retriever.
> 
> You should contact your breeder to see if she can take him back and find a home that is appropiate.
> 
> If you want a dog - to to Toy R Us and get a stuffed animal.


IMO while she might be far from the perfect owner, use this as a coaching moment and not a chance to chase someone away. My fear is that saying what we sometimes think in a harsh way scares new people away. Giving them the benefit of our combined knowledge may help them be a better owner. Going after them with both barrels just keeps them from ever asking a question again. I asked a question on FB once after I got Tayla and people were so harsh and judgmental (one of them is on this forum) that I cried. I was told I was doing everything wrong and shouldn't even own a dog. Was it helpful, NO. In no way was it helpful. It is helpful to point out what someone could do to correct a problem. If you notice she has not responded again. Opportunity lost? Sad.


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## Leslie B (Mar 17, 2011)

Tayla's Mom said:


> IMO while she might be far from the perfect owner, use this as a coaching moment and not a chance to chase someone away. My fear is that saying what we sometimes think in a harsh way scares new people away. Giving them the benefit of our combined knowledge may help them be a better owner. Going after them with both barrels just keeps them from ever asking a question again. I asked a question on FB once after I got Tayla and people were so harsh and judgmental (one of them is on this forum) that I cried. I was told I was doing everything wrong and shouldn't even own a dog. Was it helpful, NO. In no way was it helpful. It is helpful to point out what someone could do to correct a problem. If you notice she has not responded again. Opportunity lost? Sad.


 
I was not the first one on this thread to suggest that the dog should be surrendered but I will agree that I was the most direct and the hardest. 

When nothing is going right it is usually time to stop and look at yourself. Time to ask "What am I doing wrong?" Even harder is to then accept the answer to that question! 

From the wording of the post it appears that the family does not have the time, space, energy, or finances for a dog. Never once did the op state how much she loved the dog or how much joy he brings to her life. If she gets good and mad at my post then maybe she will work hard to prove me wrong and give the dog the exercize, training, and attention that it deserves. If not and she surrenders it, then the dog has a chance at a life with someone who understands the needs of a golden.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Leslie B said:


> I was not the first one on this thread to suggest that the dog should be surrendered but I will agree that I was the most direct and the hardest.
> 
> When nothing is going right it is usually time to stop and look at yourself. Time to ask "What am I doing wrong?" Even harder is to then accept the answer to that question!
> 
> From the wording of the post it appears that the family does not have the time, space, energy, or finances for a dog. Never once did the op state how much she loved the dog or how much joy he brings to her life. If she gets good and mad at my post then maybe she will work hard to prove me wrong and give the dog the exercize, training, and attention that it deserves. If not and she surrenders it, then the dog has a chance at a life with someone who understands the needs of a golden.


The fact is that she may never request information again and keep the dog and everyone will live a horrible life. If they can just change one thing, maybe give the dog more exercise, and work on one suggestion at a time, but when you are at a point where you can't see the forest from the trees and you feel so lost and alone you just need someone to offer concrete advice and not be overly harsh. I'm coming from a place where I just needed direction when we got Tayla. We had dogs all our lives, but none like her. This forum was the first place I found someone who was kind enough to say, I've been here and here is what I did. And another chimed in and said I understand and try this. No one said you are a horrible owner, you are doing everything wrong, you don't deserve to have a dog. I took all their advice and tried things I hadn't thought of. Things got better. Someone suggest a breakthrough item that I tried and it helped more than anything. Today, at 1.5 years old Tayla is a much better dog and I'm a much better owner because I had a difficult dog and got through it. My point is just that I've been there and being harsh and hurtful really doesn't have the outcome you might think it does.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

BriGuy said:


> Dogs repeat whatever was rewarding to them.
> 
> Try getting a clicker and some treats and go on youtube for kikopup videos. Training and learning can be just as tiring as exercise. Good luck!


This is a really useful point. If grabbing the shoe gets your attention( reward) it will be repeated. Try catching the pup being good. Give him a huge dose of attention for any behavior you want repeated. Like laying quietly chewing his bone etc. 

I had three goldens and a sometimes 60 hour a week job at one point, and I set my alarm for 3:45 am to take them on a five miles run in the mornings, and then a walk in the afternoons too.

There are off leash places absolutely every where, or ways to get the pup some quality exercise daily. 

Try to ask some fellow dog people, or get in with the early am dog walk crowd. 

The dog needs a minimum standard of living to be sane and well-mannered.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

One of the things I learned is that saying no over and over (like my husband does) doesn't work. Tayla loves to go after our shoes when we are putting them on. Drives us nuts. So, when I get ready to put on my shoes (usually means a walk is coming), I put Tayla in a sit stay and then move away from her and put on my shoes. It works nicely. My husband, who doesn't work with her nearly enough has to put them on in another room or enlists my help. I like my way better.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

What I am hearing is that your family does not have time for a dog. My younger son played Varsity sports three seasons. My younger dogs always attended soccer and lacrosse events at schools where they were allowed. Hockey was tricky...although his private school at one time allowed dogs at the rink... I work full time, but dogs can come to work with me..my sister works full time, but has a dog walker... And dogs do not generalize. If my dog can sit and heel in my family room, she might not do it in the kitchen until she learns to generalize. My first golden would have fit into any family dynamic. The next nine have needed much more attention...


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## Leslie B (Mar 17, 2011)

Tayla's Mom said:


> The fact is that she may never request information again and keep the dog and everyone will live a horrible life. If they can just change one thing, maybe give the dog more exercise, and work on one suggestion at a time, but when you are at a point where you can't see the forest from the trees and you feel so lost and alone you just need someone to offer concrete advice and not be overly harsh. I'm coming from a place where I just needed direction when we got Tayla. We had dogs all our lives, but none like her. This forum was the first place I found someone who was kind enough to say, I've been here and here is what I did. And another chimed in and said I understand and try this. No one said you are a horrible owner, you are doing everything wrong, you don't deserve to have a dog. I took all their advice and tried things I hadn't thought of. Things got better. Someone suggest a breakthrough item that I tried and it helped more than anything. Today, at 1.5 years old Tayla is a much better dog and I'm a much better owner because I had a difficult dog and got through it. *My point is just that I've been there and being harsh and hurtful really doesn't have the outcome you might think it does*.


 
Yes, I too have been there and gotten a dog that was a Ferrari instead of the Ford Focus I was used too. I too thought I was a bad owner and an incompetent trainer. I called my breeder (who I did not know that well at the time) and he told me that the dog was fine but I needed work! It was a total kick in the butt. It had the right outcome because I went home, rolled up my sleeves and went to work. 

For you, the soft approach might have been the right approach but that is not the right approach for everyone. Some people (myself included) need more direct pressure in order see that "I don't have a problem - I am the problem".


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Are you a bad dog owner? Nope. Should you give up your dog? Nope, but you do need to understand that your dog is not going to train himself. He can't read the 'manual' so he will need you to show him what you want and reward him for doing it. Training sessions need not be a 'formal' set aside time to train, training can and should happen every time you interact with him. He wants a pet, ask for a sit, he wants to eat, train him to sit and wait for permission, (teaches self control as well), you want him off the couch, lure him off (if need be) with a treat, reward him when he has 'four on the floor'. He needs his leash on, get the sit or the down, before putting the leash on, he wants to go outside teach him to sit and wait for permission to go through the door. You want him to leave the shoes alone, put them away and teach him 'leave it'. Teach him to fetch, then while you are making supper, get your son to play fetch with him in the backyard -even 10 minutes will help to burn some energy.
Understand that a dog who does not understand (has not been taught) what you want him TO DO and is rewarded for doing it, is going to choose behaviors that are rewarding to him. Getting on the couch receives attention, picking up the shoes, gets a reaction - rewarding to him.
Having a dog is not that much different than having another child, the dog has needs that must be met on a daily basis, just as your children must have their needs met and be interacted with, your dog needs and deserves that as well.


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## mudEpawz (Jan 20, 2011)

After reading your posts you sound very frustrated. Have you had a dog or puppy previously or is this your first one?

When I got Chloe I was told by a few different people that I shouldn’t get a puppy (or a dog). I worked full time, I lived in a high-rise condo and I lived by myself. 

I got Chloe as a puppy and I was a “single mommy”. I was fortunate to have my parents puppy sit for me when she was a 8 weeks to about 7 months old. Since Chloe was 7 months old she has been staying home all day with no accidents or problems. I am happy to say that it is possible to work and have a happy dog. However, it means that you have to sacrifice and dedicate a lot of time for the dog. In my opinion it is soooooo worth it!

When Chloe was younger (from 7 months until she was 2 years old) I was up at 5am during the week. Chloe got at least an hour walk and a 30 min off leash play session. I set up a camera during the day so I could spy on her and make sure she was ok. Since she had so much exercise in the morning she would sleep the day away. I never stayed late at work (which meant during busy days I worked through my lunch). After work I would walk her (20 mins) as soon as I got home, then dinner, training session, and at least an hour walk in the evening and most days she would play with a neighbourhood dog off leash for another 30mins to an hour. I would usually come home around 10pm with a happy and tired pooch. I would have an hour or so to myself to shower, clean and get ready for the next day. On weekends I would get up around 7am, take Chloe to the park in the morning (spending 2-3 hours there) or the beach if it was hot out. I would go out and do errands

Puppies and dogs require a lot of time, patience and love. In my opinion, its so worth it! My dog is a part of my life and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the whole world. 

No, I don’t think you’re a bad owner. I think you and your family really need to sit down, think and discuss Fenway. I am sure you love him and want what is best for him. I would really encourage you to try and increase his exercise and set a routine so he knows when he can play and when its time for him to relax and rest (ie: when you are at work). Do you have family or friends that would be willing to take Fenway for an hour or two to break up his day? I believe you said your oldest was 12, could he walk Fenway after school or play with him in the backyard? Can you take Fenway to sport events and train with him? In my old condo building, there was a single mom (she had a 10 year old daughter), they had a few cats and just recently got a puppy the same time as I did. This was her first dog and she was overwhelmed with how much time and energy was required caring for a puppy. We often got together so our dogs could play and tire each other out, and we also got to socialize for a bit. Could you find a dog that Fenway gets along with and have doggie play dates a couple times a week to burn off some excess energy? I would also encourage you to work on training with Fenway. If you can’t afford a trainer at this time, there is plenty of great information on the internet that can help you. I would strongly recommend Victoria Stillwell (Victoria Stilwell Positively*|* It’s Me or the Dog). 



Sorry for the long post, I hope some of it helped!


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