# A poor foot to start on.



## GTJester (Jun 5, 2011)

This is my first thread on these forums.
I wish I'd found them long ago, but I come here now out of desperation.

I have an 11 year old Golden named Buddy.
He's my puppy and I'm torn to pieces.

Recently I've been forced to move from the house he's lived in since he was born into a third story apartment. 
He's been with me to other people's houses and various events, so being away from home wasn't entirely new, but about a week after we moved in I think the reality that we weren't going back home set in.
Stemming from such I think he's developed a myriad of very heart breaking problems.
He's terrified of the stairs. When he did go up them it was very slowly and I allowed him as much time as he needed to go up and down them. Soon he simply gave up and I carry him up and down three flights. This I would attribute to something simple like old age/arthritis.

After this I've noticed a sever change in his bowel movements/eating habits.
He was barely eating, opting to eat my wife's cat's food rather than his. Shortly after that he'd given up on eating all together. I've been spoon-feeding him as much as I can, but he's very reluctant to eat in any decent amount. 

In addition to this, he's become extremely lethargic. Seeming incapable of moving. I try to coax him to stand up, which he's capable of once in a blue moon. When he does stand up for more than a minute at a time I notice his rear legs beginning to tremble and shake before he gives up and lays down.

His hips are very prominent, his skin seeming loose from drop in body weight. The decrease in mass is coupled by a swelling in his intestines. 

I've been to the vet he's gone to his entire life repeatedly in the last few weeks. The vet says it's just stress. I'm going to be going to a second vet in three days for a second opinion and I'd like some opinions on what questions to ask. Past experiences if any of you have seen this before. Thoughts on what it might be. 

It may be my inability to deal with seeing my dog like this that's made me angry at my old vet and what seems to be her inattentiveness. I want more attention. I want definitive answers. I want something that's curable. My heart's breaking and I want some relief. 

I'm reaching out at every angle in what seems to be a sinking ship. 
I feel like my inability to keep my dog's old home has put the nail in his coffin and it's killing me.

This is a horrible way to start talking to you all.
I wish I could be introducing myself and my dog in a light that's pleasant. 
I can't do it right now. All I can hope for is that this is a simple problem he'll get over with love and patience.

*edit*
I'm viewing stickies and I apologize if I'm repeating something I'm going to find in the forums eventually. I'm just desperate.
*End edit*


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Don't feel bad about posting your worry about your Buddy. You've found a community that loves their dogs immensely and can relate to your worry and sadness. First off, I'm glad you're getting a second opinion. I, too, would think this is extreme for just stress. I would make notes to take along to your appt, detailing the changes that have taken place both in your living situation and Buddy. I would want a good physical exam, complete lab work ( complete thyroid panel too?) and, if warranted, xrays and a sonogram. To simply dismiss his issues as stress would not fly with me either. Please keep us posted.... we'll be sending prayers for you and Buddy.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Hi and welcome. I'm sorry you've found us under such sad circumstances.
I would certainly want a very thorough vet exam, including blood work and probably an xray to be sure that there's nothing going on with him. Also have his vision checked, that might account for his fear of the stairs. 
That said, stress can do strange things to dogs. The most common is that they refuse to eat. Here at the pet hotel a lot of dogs won't eat for 3 or 4 days if they haven't been here before.
Also, the more worried you get, the more he feels your stress, and it becomes a vicious circle.
I hope you are able to find some answers. Please keep us posted.


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## iansgran (May 29, 2010)

I have no idea if this is stress related. Cats don't like to move, but dogs generally do fine, in my experience. Maybe try a new vet since so many of the symptoms sound like they could be age or illness related.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

You are right to get a second opinion. My very first thought reading your post is he may be having some pain while climbing the stairs, rather than being afraid, he knows it will hurt. I think that will be the root cause of his problems. A concerned vet can offer you pain medication, joint supplements, something to increase his appetite, and even something for the stress.

Do get the second opinion, or even a third if you still need a vet that will listen and be concerned.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I'm so sorry you are having these issues with your pup. I too would get another opinion and a thorough veterinary evaluation and work up. It could be stress, it could be an unrelated health issue, possibly serious and life threatening, but hopefully not, or it could be a combination of both. My philosophy is if a dog isn't acting themselves they go to the vet for an evaluation. 
I agree about how stress can affect a dog. I saw that in my Toby when he lost his older sibling, Barkley, to hemangiosarcoma. It did all sorts of things to him, including lethargy and a bouncing thyroid level. We discovered a few other health issues as a result of investigating those symptoms: a minor mitral valve regurgitation, some digestive enzyme deficiences and an enlarged lymph node in the area of his colon. His stress and grief resolved, but we are still managing the other issues, trying to make his life as healthy as possible. 

I hope you get some answers.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I agree that a 2nd opinion and thorough exam and tests are in order. He has to have something else going on. Sending prayers for your boy!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I'm so sorry you've found us under such worrying circumstances - but I'm glad you've found us.

I applaud and second everything that's been said here already. There may have been some stress, but now it sounds like there may be other things going on. A second opinion is definitely warrented. 

If your sweet old guy was not used to so many stairs, there may be new pain. And pain in a dog can look like fear to humans (trust me - I've been seeing this with my dog lately, and at first I was so upset because she appeared to be scared of ME). A good painkiller can help tremendously.

The stress from the move, from the pain, anything like that could be affecting his eating and bowels. And if he senses YOU'RE worried, it may be stressing him out, too. 

I'm really glad you're going to get another opinion. Fresh eyes can be a really good thing. And don't forget - you know your dog best. You know if he's just not right. Trust yourself. 

Please let us know what happens.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Can't answer in regards to possible health issues.....many here could guess better than me. But, can tell you from recent experience sometimes it will take a second and sometimes 3rd vets opinions. We recently went through this ourselves. It is amazing how different the diagnosis can be.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am sorry you are going thru the issues with your Buddy. One thing you mentioned was him eating your cat's food. I wonder if that could be causing some of his not wanting to eat. Sometimes cat food can be too rich for dogs and might cause issues. 

I pray the vets can find out what is wrong. Maybe if there is a vet college near you they can help him.


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## GTJester (Jun 5, 2011)

July 4th 2001 - June 6th 2011
RIP Buddy
Hemangiosarcoma


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Im so very sorry......Please share stories of your Buddy when you are ready....


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## ELI&BAILEY'S MOM (Dec 18, 2008)

Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss. Godspeed sweet Buddy.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss.
Please be assured that nothing you could have done differently would have changed the course of that hideous disease.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss. There are many here dealing with the grief of losing a much beloved pupper, and much support. I hope you find comfort here, and continue to visit us.


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## Ranger (Nov 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss...RIP Buddy.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I am so so sorry you lost your boy. I was hoping you could have more good time together.

I lost my third rescue golden 4+ years ago to what I now believe was hemangiosarcoma. It was before I joined the forum and I didn't know about the dreaded disease. Be assured that it progresses very quickly and terminally even if you know what it is sooner. It was only 6 days from diagnosis of an abdominal tumor to RIP for Chance.

My heart goes out to you.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

GTJester said:


> July 4th 2001 - June 6th 2011
> RIP Buddy
> Hemangiosarcoma


Oh, no.  I am so, so sorry. Thinking of you. Please do come back, if you need some support.


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## mm03gn (Sep 24, 2008)

I am so sorry you lost your Buddy to this horrible disease...it happens FAR too often  It sounds like Buddy was loved to the fullest every day of his life, and for that you should be so proud. Please stick around on here as you grieve, there are so many people who have been (and are) in your exact shoes at this very moment.


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## RedWoofs (Apr 19, 2008)

Hugs to you. I am so sorry to hear Buddy has crossed the rainbow bridge. May you be reunited someday someway at the bridge. 
We are here for you. And many of us can relate to your deep grief and loss. 
Please remember that Buddy knows you love him


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so very sorry you lost Buddy.

Run softly at the Bridge, Buddy


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## Feldenak (May 8, 2011)

GTJester said:


> July 4th 2001 - June 6th 2011
> RIP Buddy
> Hemangiosarcoma


 
Absolutely gut-wrenching. I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember him in your thoughts and he's never truly gone.


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## kathi127 (Sep 17, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss. We lost our Rusty to hemangiosarcoma as well and it is a quick moving, devastating disease and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. I hope you will continue to visit this forum, there are so many here who have experienced what you are going through right now. RIP sweet Buddy, I know you are running free at the Bridge with all the other Goldens.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

So sorry for the loss of your Buddy. I lost my Abby a little over a year ago to hemangiosarcoma. My friend just lost her golden to a hemangio on 6/10. It's a terrible disease and many of us here understand your pain. Thoughts are with you as you grieve. RIP Buddy!!


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## vcm5 (Apr 20, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss. Take heart in knowing you gave him a wonderful life full of love and happiness!


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Somehow I missed this when you posted about loosing your dearest Buddy to Hemangiosarcoma. I'm SO sorry for your loss. We lost our Di to this disease 5/21. There were about 4 other kids that were lost to hemangiosarcoma the same week. This disease is taking too many of these beautiful goldens. This disease is very quick and sneaks up on you. When you are able to talk, we will be here for you to listen. Sending healing thoughts and prayers.


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## aerolor (May 27, 2011)

I would also say get another opinion, definitely. Because at 11 your dog is elderly there may well be age-related health problems going on, not just stress associated with the move. The arthritis is a serious consideration and admittedly an upstairs apartment is not ideal, but unless moving about is a real problem for him/her, a dog who you have had for a long time would probably be able to cope with a change of environment more easily than your poor dog seems to be doing - pain may be a big part of the problem. A vet will be able to advise about the mobility aspect, which is the important thing if stairs are involved. I hope it works out for you and that things will settle down for you soon.


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## GTJester (Jun 5, 2011)

Thank you all for you sympathy.
As many of you stated, you've gone through my exact situation and/or very similar. 
I know I didn't reply right away, but it absolutely killed me inside for a while, and is just now getting to a point where I don't take an extra piece of ham on my plate to give him, or move my feet out when getting up so as to not step on him.
I feel like other people didn't understand how absolutely terrible it is to lose your best friend, that to most people it's just a dog. 
You all have gone through it, so I figure I'll write a little bit about Buddy.

My experience with Golden's started out when I was young, well, younger.
My family got our first Golden when I 5.
She was named Willie and I know very little about her.
She was stolen from our garage.

When I was 7 we got another Golden named Buddy who was a hunting dog to be put in a shelter because of a bad leg. 
This was the beginning of my love for the breed.
He was a great dog. 
He'd chase moles in the backyard, follow me around, sleep outside my door, and go bat **** nuts over tenis balls.
But he was old, and went blind. He had lymphoma.
I was 11 when he was put down, and my family was too busy to get to it so I held him as the gave him the shot.
Needless to say I was torn apart.

Within about half a year after he was put down a family down the street were selling Golden Puppies. I couldn't resist the fluffy little balls of curiosity and joy. I sat and talked to them, played with the puppies and learned their names. The runt of the litter was named Buddy. 
This was to become my best friend. 
They gave me Buddy, no charge, and for such a blessing I couldn't have been more grateful. 
For lack of a better phrase, he was the ****.
A tiny puppy so full of love.
I tried to crate train him, but I was approaching 13 and didn't know much about how to go about it. So I opted out and just walked him on a regular basis. We had the best walks. Living in the suburbs of Tennessee we had ample roads to walk along. Endless adventures exploring woods and drain pipes. All the ladies wanted to come by and pet him, definitely an added benefit to a boy just finding interest in girls.
Buddy had his ups and downs. Accidents on the carpet, lots of scrubbing, but yelling at him, getting angry could never be an option when I looked at his eyes. 
He had two sheer loves as a puppy. Ice cubes and socks.
Dear god if an ice cube fell to the floor he'd chase it till it was merely a puddle. He'd always try to sneak my socks away, I eventually gave up and made a sock ball for him. Looking back now, I just reinforced the behavior, but I reaffirm my youth and ignorance.
He never really got to socialize with other dogs, unfortunately, I wish we had dog parks out here. 
My feet and my side is where he loved to be. Always on my bed or laying with me on the couch. He was a huge cuddle bunny.
He never did get the retrieval part or fetch down. Throw a ball and he'd just lay down with it and tear it to pieces. 
High school happened, college happened, hitchhiking happened, but it never kept Buddy away from me. 
We went everywhere. From Tennessee to Missouri, to Colorado and Oregon. Down to California and finally back to Tennessee.
We came back to our old house, we had had good times. We'd toughed it out, and he never went hungry.
I went back to college, and he started showing signs of some aging. Greying around his mouth, fur becoming darker with the years.
We lost our house, and moved where we could.
I relocated to my current apartment, which is three stories up.
At first, he was fine.
Up and down the stairs, maybe a little slowly but with no trouble.
Then all of a sudden it started. His fecal matter was a little runny. I started to worry. Trouble standing up for long periods of time. Then trouble squatting to go. Refusal to walk up or down the stairs. Refusal to eat.
It was torture. 
The vet he'd gone to his entire life said stress was the cause, and to try to wait it out.
Things only got worse, very quickly.
In a panic I came here, looking for one person to tell me of some experience where they magically fixed their dog who was in the same situation.
I went to a second vet, who looked at Buddy's gums and said to follow him inside. We layed Buddy on his back and the Vet gave him an ultrasound revealing tumors in his stomach which had likely moved to elsewhere in his body. They were killing his red blood cells. 
I'd thought before maybe he was being stubborn, but no. He had no choice, he didn't have the ability to do thing.
I had been spoon feeding him broth. Carrying him everywhere. I hope, so hard I hope I made his last days even a tiny amount easier for him.
The Vet said he was most likely in a good deal of pain. I payed to have him put down.
Always hold his head and comforting him. Feeling his fur, scratching his ears, whispering to him. Keeping his eyes away from his legs so he couldn't see them shave. Couldn't see them wrap the rubber around.
His veins and blood were so damage the doctor had to go to his other leg to find a spot.

I held my dog, my friend. My Buddy.

Cradling his head until the last breath, no longer did he hold himself up. 

A good friend of mine let me bury him on his property.
5 1/2 feet of digging barely lets the emotions go.
I'm currently working on a 4x5 slab of limestone as a tombstone. Carving words is much more tedious than originally assumed.

I'm sure you've read it before, but this was shared to me by my good friend, and it rings true with words that cut fresh emotions past.

The Last Battle

"If it should be that I grow frail and weak
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this--the last battle--can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
Don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer, so.
When the time comes, please let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me til the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
it is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close--we two--these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears."
-Author Unknown

I really want to thank all of you.
Your words, words that ring with sympathy of knowing loss, have made me feel better. 
I appreciated the time you've spent reading this.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

What a beautiful, moving tribute to your Buddy. I am so very sorry you lost him but he will remain forever in your heart and you gave him your final loving gift of release when he most needed it.


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## GTJester (Jun 5, 2011)

I hope this works.

This is the only photograph of Buddy I have. 

The other dog, Smelly, has a story to her, but she's not my dog.

My Mother works as a state hostage negotiator.
She was driving to work one day, her department being located out in the backwoods-ish area, when she saw a car parked on the side of the road. 
When she looked closely she saw a man beating a dog.
She jumped out of her car and started to scream frantically, getting between the guy and the dog.
The guy, rightly so, was startled by a middle-aged woman screaming her lungs out jumping in front of him. He was trying to get her out of the way by pushing and "roughly" prodding her with the pipe when another officer arrived on his way to work, saw what was happening, and thought the guy was beating my mom with a pipe. He ran out and told him to put down the pipe. My Mother was screaming, "Shoot him. Shoot him in the head." (My Mother's a hysterical woman at times.)
The man was promptly tazed and subdued.
When questioned what he was doing, he said he'd come there to kill the dog, it's where he kills all his dogs.

He was arrested and sent to jail. 
Later convicted, not of animal abuse, but of assaulting an officer, and sentenced to three years.

She suffered brain damage, and never was quite right in the head. 
She was a sweety, though.
The reason we called her smelly?
She was smelly. 
End of random story.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss of Buddy. It is just heartbreaking....but what a wonderful tribute to your guy. 
Please know that one day you will be agian with reunited with Buddy and all your beloved pets at the Rainbow Bridge. Then you will be together again. RIP Buddy


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Thank you for telling us about Buddy. I read your account of his life with you, thinking, what a very lucky dog. And then the tears started. In part for the incredible love and care you took for him to his very last breath. 

It's so awful to lose them. They never stay long enough. And it's true - it is a love some people don't understand. We do. And I'm so sorry. 

I also believe, given what brought Smelly to your family, she is also a very lucky girl. Sounds like she was meant to be in a loving family like yours.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Buddy's story is beautiful. You were blessed with the very special, most often once in a lifetime relationship. Thank you for sharing.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

That was a beautiful tribute to your Buddy. I am in tears writing about your life with him. I'm so sorry that life took you down this painful road and you had to give him the greatest gift to free him from his pain. You were definitely there when Buddy needed you the most. I know that our that we sent to the bridge 5/21 and our Golda 4/07 were there to greet Buddy. 

That is such an amazing story about how Smelly came into your life. That person should spend life in jail!!


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## kathi127 (Sep 17, 2009)

I am in tears reading about your beloved Buddy. What a wonderful tribute to him. You two certainly were best buddies and what a life you two had together! He was one lucky Golden to have found you and I'm sure you feel the same way about him. It is so hard to lose them, we want them to live forever and they bring so much into our lives for the short time they are here on this earth. And you are so right, some people just don't get it and I feel sorry for them, they are missing out on one of the greatest gifts God has given us, the love and devotion of a beloved pet. I don't even think of mine as pets, they are my children as much as my human children are. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you will continue to visit the forum and share more stories with us about Smelly. She certainly was a very lucky girl and you have a very brave and courageous mother. I hope the guy who tried to beat her to death rots in hell. That may sound pretty strong but anyone who does that to a dog doesn't deserve to live. And as much as you love Goldens I am pretty sure that one day when your heart heals you will bring another Golden into your life. Those of us who are owned by these wonderful creatures find it very hard to be without one for long. Take care and God Bless.


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