# Feeling Overwhelmed



## WineALot (Jan 29, 2014)

We got the little guy last Friday and he's now 8.5 weeks old. I'm feeling so very overwhelmed. After a year of research and months preparing for his arrival, I thought I was prepared and ready for the sleepless nights and long days. I took the week off of work to get him settled in and a part of our lives. But I am so overwhelmed. 

I've cried daily and usually 3-4 times a day. (The tears are flowing now). He's a sweet little guy and doing what puppies do but I am so overwhelmed. 

My husband has helped some over the week but I was the one who wanted the dog so the majority of the work and responsibility has fallen on me, which is what we agreed to. I'm just exhausted and wondering if it'll ever get better? I feel so guilty. 

I seriously feel like I have post puppy depression. Is this possible after all of my planning and working to get him?

I am scared to even write this because I am afraid I'll get judged for these feelings. But I really need some support or for someone to tell me it'll get better.


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## Mayve (Aug 21, 2012)

WineALot said:


> We got the little guy last Friday and he's now 8.5 weeks old. I'm feeling so very overwhelmed. After a year of research and months preparing for his arrival, I thought I was prepared and ready for the sleepless nights and long days. I took the week off of work to get him settled in and a part of our lives. But I am so overwhelmed.
> 
> I've cried daily and usually 3-4 times a day. (The tears are flowing now). He's a sweet little guy and doing what puppies do but I am so overwhelmed.
> 
> ...


Hang in there it does get better. I felt the same way when we brought Sage home. I think the majority of us here if not everyone has shed tears over puppyhood. ..

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## Darthsadier (May 17, 2013)

I totally know how you feel. I felt very much the same way about a year ago when we got Sadie. The first few days all she did was sleep then she turned into that busy land shark. It will pass and none will judge you. I also cried but it gets better. Some times I think no matter how much you prepare you can still be overwhelmed. Stick with it and please don't give it up cuz it gets better I promise. 


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Ive been a puppy raiser for 10+ years....there are often times when I ask myself....why did I choose to raise a puppy again? 
FWIW - when I had my first human child...after about day three...I was waiting for his 'real parents' to come and take over! I was TOAST! 
But those feelings of second guessing will pass if you let them and look for the joyful parts.
They are a boatload of work early on....but it does get better and better.
Falling in love is largely a choice...not purely a feeling...


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

Calm down. It will get worse before it gets better! It is true puppies are A LOT of work in the beginning. You don't exactly say what it is that is overwhelming you but I imagine it is normal puppy stuff like potty training problems, biting, chewing things and being all over the place at once. You need to be very organized and consistent, you need to become an expert at redirecting bad behavior and praising good behavior. If you tell us more about specific problems you are facing, I am sure lots of people on this forum will rush to the rescue! Do not despair and enjoy the puppy times in spite of the frustration! You will be surprised how fast your little nuisance will grow up into the wonderful dog you have imagined!


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I think what you are feeling is absolutely normal. It's a little like preparing to have your first baby (and probably second and third!) in that you can read all you want but you won't really know what it's like until the little guy comes home. Try to cut yourself some slack, take a deep breath, and remember that it will get better!


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## WineALot (Jan 29, 2014)

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I think some of the anxiety stems from the total change in lifestyle. I knew what I was getting myself into and did a lot of research, but planning for a dog and having a dog are totally different things! I haven't had time to cook and have even skipped some meals, barely have time to check email and do any of my normal activities (reading, etc). I am hoping going back to work next week will be good for me to get back in the "normal" swing of things. 

He is such a sweet puppy and he does melt my heart when he crawls into my lap and falls asleep (aww) but I have these moments of dread, like, what did I get myself into??

We're starting puppy kindergarten tonight so I think that will be a good outlet for both of us. 

At what point will things start to feel more normal?


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

This is totally normal. In my experience, between the sleep deprivation, cleaning pee off the floor, listening to a puppy cry in his crate like you're murdering him, and having a little landshark ripping up socks and biting your hands every five seconds all day, you get really frustrated and overwhelmed at times.

It does get better. When you show your puppy patience, carefully nonreward the things you don't like, behaviors improve over time. They don't improve steadily, but rather by fits and starts, but they do improve as the pup learns that he can get good things by behaving the way you want, and that things like biting make you really boring. Plus, they tend to mature a bit too as they go (though I always counsel against waiting for what you want rather than training actively to get it).


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## twillobee (Dec 30, 2013)

eleni said:


> You don't exactly say what it is that is overwhelming you but I imagine it is normal puppy stuff like potty training problems, biting, chewing things and being all over the place at once.


 
I've raised goldens for over 20 years. Haven't had a "puppy for 10 yrs and I am so exhausted since I got my new guy. So we do understand. I've had my guy since the 1st of March and he's now 9 weeks old. Yes, it's due to all the puppy stuff - biting, barking, peeing in the floor and always getting into stuff (fast little guy - can't let him out of your sight). Don't know if this guy is more active, I'm older or just forgetting how wild these guys can be. 

There are days my husband asks me if I've any regrets. He helps some since he gets off work before I do. He gives him a lot more free run than I do. Hubby seems a little too excited when I get off work that his "shift" is done. He thought I needed a new puppy when Max died and Sebastian is my dog. I've always done the training and raised the pups. Just after not having a baby around in so long, the boy wears me out.


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## abradshaw71 (Jan 13, 2014)

A close friend of mine got a golden puppy soon after I got Josie. She loved visiting when Josie was a puppy and she fell in love with that cute puppy face without realizing all the work that went along with that cute puppy face.  I received many phone calls, texts, messages, etc from her for about the first four months after her family got Levi. Like you, she was very overwhelmed and at times blamed me for making it look easy.  At one point, she was close to giving Levi away....that's when I put my foot down with her, but in a loving way. I told her the best thing she could do was take it one day at a time. I'm not sure what your family situation is like, but my friend has two young children that were very capable of helping with the puppy. She needed to give them chores that had to do with taking care of Levi so they could start bonding with him. She did just that, which not only helped her out, but the children learned a bit of responsibility, as well. About four months after that, she sent me a thank you note telling me how much they were all enjoying Levi and that her kids were absolutely in love with him and she was so glad they had kept him as he was now a huge part of their family.  

It does take time to get through the puppy phase, but if you hang in there, it will get better and you'll be rewarded over and over again with unconditional love from your little guy in the years ahead. At the same time, the puppy time goes fast, so make sure you take lots of pictures of your little guy growing. A year from now when your little puppy is nice and big, you'll start looking at pictures of puppies on the forum and realize that time went very quickly. 

You're taking some great steps. Routine is key, so going back to work and getting into a normal morning and evening routine will be as helpful to you as it is to him. Just know that you'll need to give him lots of exercise and attention in the evening after he's been alone during the day. Puppy class will be great for both of you. You'll meet great people, you'll learn some key basics, and it will exhaust your puppy for a good night's sleep. By 10 to 12 weeks, he should be sleeping through the night too. 

You can do it. We're all here to cheer you on! 

Allison


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## MaureenM (Sep 20, 2011)

I remember feeling sooo exhausted when Finley first came home. Tired beyond belief. My kids said it's almost like you have a new born at home. . Puppy class will be good for you both, most of the other owners there will be going through the same or just finished going through it. I don't think it lasted long, but besides being tired I don't remember much. I would do it all again, and know I will again at some point. It is soooo worth it!


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## Heart O'Gold (Jul 31, 2012)

We've all been there! Puppy raising is not easy, I think when your stressed out you know you're doing it right or at least really trying to!  One thing that can help is a crate or expen or other safe area that you can put your puppy when you just need a break. It will get better!


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## Lise123 (Jan 1, 2014)

It gets better! Definitely get an x-pen, if you haven't already, and you can put him in it with toys while you make dinner. It's okay to do that. They do need a lot from us in the beginning, but it's okay to take a little break to take care of yourself, too. 

Bailey is now 11 weeks old, and even though he has his rocky moments (like last night!), it is already miles and miles easier than the first three weeks. And I know we have a lot ahead of us, but that feeling of constant tension (is he peeing? is he sleeping? do I need to take him out now?) is gone. We have settled in together, and your little puppy will settle in with you, too.

I still fantasize about the highly trained, responsive adult dog he will one day become, though!  I would skip puppyhood if I could! I might be alone in this.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

It DOES get better - and eventually, you will get back to your old routines. Right now, you are probably exhausted (which is leading to the tears). My sweet pup had some tummy issues when she was first home, and I was up all night with her a couple nights in a row (literally taking her out every half hour). I was walking into walls, I was worried about her, and eventually, when a good friend called and simply said, "are you okay?" I started to cry. Meals are all over the place, all your routines are disrupted (which can also be more unsettling than people realize), you can't sit and relax because you always have to watch the pup, you can't watch a whole TV show because you have to take the pup outside. But these few hard weeks will quickly melt away. You will start to see routine return - your pup will grow and be able to hold it a little bit longer. You'll get to know each other, the bond will grow. You'll start to figure out when your pup needs to go out related to eating, and while you might need to rearrange your routines a bit, eventually they will line back up. And hard as it is to believe - you will eventually have a hard time even remembering these first few hard weeks.

It IS normal - and it WILL get better.


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## Our3dogs (Apr 3, 2008)

Can't add too much more to what has already been said. But hang in there, breathe, and each day gets a little better. I, too, remember being so tired. If my husband and I went out, I would take the opportunity to take a quick nap in the car knowing I was going to be up a few times during the night for potty breaks. It's not like an "a-ha" moment with them, it just each day you realize you didn't have to do something you did the day before. Even getting to sleep through a potty break during the night is a big event. It's great you are already going to puppy class. You can share your stories with other owners going through the same thing. Keep at it!


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## CRS250 (Dec 31, 2012)

Just chiming in to say, sounds normal! I am raising my fourth golden (2 at the bridge) who came home this last Friday and she is 9 weeks now. Same as you I have the week off work, I'm sleep deprived and feel like the only thing I have done for the past 6 days is redirect her to toys or take things out of her mouth, clean up after her etc. It is tough but it does get better. Just keep looking forward!


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I remember when I got Brady, he was not my first puppy, but he was my first golden and my worst puppy. The first four days he was a sweetie pie, but then day five he became a land shark. Also, everything went in his mouth. I was checking his mouth randomly, even when I didn't think there was anything in there, and most times there would be! I had three young children, their clothes and hands were ripped apart. I was so sleep deprived. Yes, I had a husband who helped, but I was the one that wanted him, so I took on most of the responsibility.

At that point, you do not know how strong of a bond you will develop with that puppy, because it feels like it is all work and in my house, my kids screaming, which just encouraged him to bite more. At this point, I could really understand how some people could give back a puppy at this age, if they had never raised one before. 

The crate becomes your best friend. I noticed many times that when he was just horrendous, he was ready for a nap, like a human child. I would keep him leashed to my waist while I was doing dishes or cooking supper, and he stemmed pretty content at that.

I was exhausted from the night time potty runs, I would take him out one last time as late as possible like 11 and I found he could then hold it until about 5:30 which was easier for me than those 3 am potty runs. 

Going to puppy kindergarten helped a lot. The next day he was more laid back in the mornings.

The hard stuff ended probably about four to five months. At about eight months he started to become quite affectionate, calmer lap dog. At a year to two, he became the best dog in the world.  So good, that right now I have my third golden puppy. 

I have found that every puppy is different, some are worst than others. The one I have now is very calm and rarely uses her teeth on us.

Somebody on this forum once said, and I use this quote often, there is a reason God makes them so cute, survival!


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## golden_732 (Aug 26, 2013)

It's definitely normal, I think others have given you some great insight on their experiences. For me, because I was sleep deprived, it made everything a bit more difficult. I found that really having a set schedule tremendously helped. Good luck!!


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## 10dot (Feb 4, 2014)

The first week we got Baxter, I took a vacation just to be with him/start training. I was so glad I did, since I was so tired there's no way I would've gotten anything useful accomplished 

That first couple of weeks was ROUGH, and Baxter is by all accounts an almost ideal puppy. Once the constant "when is he gonna pee/what is he gonna put in his mouth next" anxiety starts to die off, and you get to sleep through the night a few nights in a row, it gets better quickly.


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## Irishladyo (Mar 15, 2014)

I'm feeling the same way. We've had our Fizzy for almost 2 weeks now. My house is a wreck, I need to do laundry and I have a hard time taking a shower out of guilt for leaving her crate/penned up. She still freaks out when I leave her alone. All of this to say you’re not alone. I'm so stressed it's kinda crazy. I keep wondering if it’s this bad with a puppy then maybe I can't handle having kids!


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## therese bowles (Nov 21, 2013)

I get it! You have my sympathy! Lilly is 9 weeks, pees all day! I just want to lay on the floor and cry!LOL ! 


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## bethany725 (Jan 29, 2014)

You are not alone, as you can see from all of the posts.  I, too, was exactly where you are: We got our puppy 3 weeks ago, and I had three MAJOR crying spells - I was so exhausted/overwhelmed at his well-puppy checkup 2 days after we got him that the vet walked in and I busted into tears. Two days later, I was still so exhausted that when I took him out to potty and he wouldn't do anything but trot around and eat leaves, I silently cried in my front yard and wondered if I'd done the right thing by getting a puppy. On the 5th morning, I sank to the floor in the kitchen, again in tears, when I realized he'd had another accident in his crate despite us getting up and taking him out every 2.5 hours. 
I can't believe how much of a difference the 2nd and 3rd week have made... I've figured out his potty patterns, I actually have to wake HIM up every 3 hours to do the outside potty runs, and I've had enough sleep that I can keep my emotions in check. We still have a long way to go, as he's only 10.5 weeks right now, but I haven't felt that same 'overwhelmed' feeling for about a week now - He's actually a pleasure now that I've figured him out a little more, and it seems like every day of age makes him a little bit better when it comes to potty-training and sleeping in his crate. 
Hang in there - I have no doubt that relief is closer than you think. If you can get your SO to trade off just ONE of those overnight potty runs with you, it may help you get enough sleep during one night to at least feel like the world is back on its axis. It will get better and better, don't you worry.  Hugs to you... We are here to listen and support you!


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## Danielle926 (Nov 9, 2013)

The way you're feeling is completely normal! Senna is just over a year old now. My husband and I think back to when we got her at 8 weeks old and remember what a tough time we had with her. I cried pretty often myself. It takes time but with lots of training and consistency I promise you it does get better. Its VERY overwhelming and is a lot more work than you would ever think. We did basic puppy training and also had a trainer come to our house..which was all well worth the money! Hang in there!


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## Kirsten (Jun 18, 2013)

You are definitely not alone! I did the same thing (took that first week off work) and I was in tears many times and questioning my decision. It did get easier once I went back to work and we got into more of a routine. That first week I couldn't wait to start work again and now I can't wait to get off to see my puppy 

My puppy is 6 months now and he still has his "moments" but it does get better. The thing that has helped me most in those "moments" is to think of him old and gray. I read all the treads of other Goldens going to the Rainbow Bridge and I just know when that happens, I will be wishing for this puppy craziness!

Also, like others said, it really does help to tire them out. I do short (10 mins or so) training sessions many times a day. I also take a muffin tray and hide a treat in one of the cups and then cover them all with tennis balls. At the beginning it took him awhile to figure it out. And peanut butter filled Kongs have been a god sent 

Hang in there!


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## therese bowles (Nov 21, 2013)

I posted earlier. Went to the vet for my 9 week old shots.First thing she said to me, " you look so tired". After talking to her about my puppy woes she suggested I may want to board her for a night to get back on my feet. Some may disagree, but I am considering it. She said Lilly would be safe, no shame and I would have a new attitude once I got some rest. Just a thought.....


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## Leah_eliz (Dec 29, 2013)

I completely understand how you feel. I've wanted a big dog for a few years and have been actively researching and finding the right breeder for a year, and then we finally got our puppy and it was like 'what was I thinking!?!?' 
He's not our first puppy but has been so much more work than our Pug who was/is the easiest dog ever. We have young children and it's very challenging to be on top of everything but I just keep telling myself it will be worth it in a year or two!! I think the thing I find the hardest is not having my quiet and relaxing evening anymore.. I try to exercise and train him all through the day but he just has no interest in relaxing at the end of the day like I do  
You're not alone.


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## RetrieverLove (Dec 3, 2013)

Oh yes, I know how you feel. My pup Ruby is 5 months old in just a few days. We took her home at exactly 8 weeks. My wife and I don't have children yet so I can't speak to how it compares with having a newborn (human) baby, but as others have mentioned, it is A LOT of work. We seemed to have an extra mouthy/bitey pup, more like a piranha instead of a landshark! BUT (there is a BUT) for us, at about 12-14 weeks, we saw a major turnaround. She started calming down, becoming super snuggly and sweet, starting to really show her true Goldie qualities. Ruby is still a lot of work, but we're head over heels in love with her and hope she is with us! Each day gets better, trust me. Even though we're only in month 5, the terrible times we had early on already seem like a distant memory!


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

I cried for two days when Ollie first came home. Cried with Homer too. Just got a rescue 4 days ago and today is the first day in 4 I am finally ok and relaxed.
Loved and love all my dogs like children 
Certain things are hard at the beginning, but for me the hardest is the change in my routine. 
I don't do change well. 
Once I get over myself I am fine.
It does get better. The harder you work now to make things like potty and routines easier, the faster it will get better.

I saw this on facebook the other day. Love love love the visual.
Life is too darn short to sweat the small stuff.
This is my new mantra.
Enjoy that baby


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## Rosiegolden (Mar 21, 2014)

Winealot, we also brought our 8wk. puppy home last Friday and I am right there with you!!
I have googled "new puppy blues" and "new puppy driving me crazy" more than I'd like to admit! The highlight of my week was a 20 min trip to petco alone!
It makes me feel better to hear I'm not alone and that there is a light. Rosie is so cute but yes, I'd like to watch a complete tv show Without pausing, "is she going to pee?!" 
Thank you for being honest about the process!!


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## StealthBomberBass (Mar 16, 2014)

Reading over everyone's responses makes me sit back and laugh. Land shark....

It's true I think everyone goes through an overwhelming time. Routine is key. The more you put into training the more you get out of it. 

Stealth was at times a little devil child..bitting on your hands your clothes..with their razor sharp teeth. I remember I would get so upset because he would jump up on me and grab my clothes and it would rip holes in my clothing. 

The potty training, remember whenever they wake up from a nap they will need to go to the bathroom. Almost always! 30-40 minutes after they eat as well. That's the key is that will always have to go to the bathroom when they wake up or after play time. It's overwhelming taking them to the bathroom every 30-40 minutes but it pays off. Our golden has probably had not even 10 accidents in his lifetime. But I watched him like a hawk. 

They are a lot to handle and every thing they get into, it's overwhelming. At times like those, take a step back and a deep breath. Look into to big brown eyes and fluffy little face, this little guy will love you more than anything and thinks the world of you. Remember they are completely reliant on you and to teach him what is right and wrong... They do not know any better. Like I said before how he'd jump on my a rip holes in my clothing I'd get upset in the moment. But how is he suppose to know if you don't show him. 

They grow so fast, so take lots of pictures! I wouldn't change anything even though I was stressed and felt like it'd never end. I have the best dog in the world. He's my best friend, my buddy, my pal. I love him to pieces. 

We are now considering another dog for him but will do a r 

Rescue this time around. 


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## WineALot (Jan 29, 2014)

Thanks, everyone. I so appreciate the support and knowing I'm not alone. I actually had my husband read through the responses too. I can't believe how supportive you all have been. I was so nervous to write out my thoughts, thinking I was the worst dog owner ever!

Puppy kindergarten was actually really great last night, and the 20 minutes of play time really wore Schubert out. He slept through the whole night! I checked in on him a couple of times, but it was so nice to get a more "normal" night of sleep.

Like a few others have said, I think the hardest thing so far has been the change in the routine. I seriously feel like my world has flipped around and everything is in a different position. I know I'll grow into the new routine- and going back to work will help with that- but it's been challenging. I just need to look forward and know that this is just a phase.

I still have my moments when I think I can't do this, but I know it'll get better soon. Thank you for the support!


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## Fella 77 (Jan 21, 2013)

I remember when we got Sadie home from the breeders...just getting her home and settled down was a chore. She cried and whined non stop, and threw up 5 times in a row before she passed out...we both looked at each other and said "what did we do?. We actually looked at the paperwork to see if we could bring her back! I am so glead we didn't..the next 2 years were tough and rewarding at the same time. She was so smart...but smart in a Golden can be a blessing and a curse! Looking back now that she has been gone for a year and a half..I wouldn't change a thing..she grew into a beautiful, smart, friendly, easy to deal with dog..who I miss very much!


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## WineALot (Jan 29, 2014)

Irishladyo said:


> I'm feeling the same way. We've had our Fizzy for almost 2 weeks now. My house is a wreck, I need to do laundry and I have a hard time taking a shower out of guilt for leaving her crate/penned up. She still freaks out when I leave her alone. All of this to say you’re not alone. I'm so stressed it's kinda crazy. I keep wondering if it’s this bad with a puppy then maybe I can't handle having kids!


I seriously could have written your message. I got a chuckle out of it, knowing I'm not alone. I told my husband I don't think I can handle kids if a puppy is this difficult and I'm this stressed/exhausted!


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## nenamala26 (Dec 22, 2013)

Awww, sending hugs your way! would your husband be willing to help a little more to get through this rough patch? Sometimes a little extra help goes along way! Hang in there! everyone is here for you!


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

WineALot said:


> I seriously could have written your message. I got a chuckle out of it, knowing I'm not alone. I told my husband I don't think I can handle kids if a puppy is this difficult and I'm this stressed/exhausted!


My husband and I raised three dogs before we had kids. I really do think that it prepares you for kids. I used to call the vet about every little thing, by the time we had kids, I was much calmer about those type of things. In addition, we had already adjusted to knowing we had to make plans anytime we had to do anything, just could not get up leave. It also taught my husband and I too work as a team. The good thing about having a baby, is Mother Nature gradually gets you used to things, first with the pregnancy, then with a baby who can't walk, to a crawler and then toddler. When bringing a puppy into the house, it is like bringing a toddler into the house.

This forum was a blessing for me during that first year.


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## aMomOnTheRun (Mar 9, 2014)

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. The first few weeks can be really hard, but it is totally worth it! My 9-year-old golden is such a joy to have, always here for me to give me a snuggle or make me laugh.. and he cuddles and watches my cheesy girly shows with me without making fun of me like my husband does


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

WineALot said:


> We got the little guy last Friday and he's now 8.5 weeks old. I'm feeling so very overwhelmed. After a year of research and months preparing for his arrival, I thought I was prepared and ready for the sleepless nights and long days. I took the week off of work to get him settled in and a part of our lives. But I am so overwhelmed.
> 
> I've cried daily and usually 3-4 times a day. (The tears are flowing now). He's a sweet little guy and doing what puppies do but I am so overwhelmed.
> 
> ...


 We've all been there, wine.
After Mick went to the bridge I was on the fence about getting another one.
_You're retired......get a puppy. They are so much fun, they said._
_You have all the time in the world......get a puppy. It'll be fun, they said._
So I get a beautiful pup from a well established breeder and named him Deaglan after the Irish patron saint. He's anything but a saint.
Somedays he's such an astute puppy and smart as a tack. Other days he doesn't even know his name.
It's getting better each month, though.
Just have patience, Heineken, and valium.
You'll be fine.......we always are.


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## jolie5 (Dec 14, 2013)

I don't have advice but wanted to say that I am right there with you feeling the same way! I look forward to reading the replies and hope they are helpful.


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## jolie5 (Dec 14, 2013)

I want to add that I have two kids (ages 5 & 1) and the puppy is much harder than they are! So, having a puppy will definitely prep you for kids, lol. At least babies wear diapers


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## Mayve (Aug 21, 2012)

Tennyson said:


> We've all been there, wine.
> After Mick went to the bridge I was on the fence about getting another one.
> _You're retired......get a puppy. They are so much fun, they said._
> _You have all the time in the world......get a puppy. It'll be fun, they said._
> ...


Lol....I appreciate a good glass of wine more now than I did before sage came along. I wouldnt trade her she is my heart! But there are moments when I wonder wth gets into her...still a lot of puppy in there!

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## Henry's Mum (Nov 6, 2013)

Hi, I didn't believe my feelings. I have brought up two children, had our last dog for 16 years and always wanted a golden. Henry was really easy, no trouble with house training - it was summer and the doors were always open to the garden - he slept nights without a whimper, had no digestive problems and still I felt like I had postnatal trauma *







*It is life changing and takes getting used to. He was the dreaded landshark which I wasn't prepared for, this forum really helped with that, knowing I wasn't alone helped and all the tips really worked.Now at 7 months he is just wonderful (only have one issue, about twice a day he wants to jump on me and grabs me with his front paws, and I can't freeze it off, as his inside claws are so painful. The only thing that works is a time out. I hope that this is over soon.)Keep in there and take each day at a time and before you know it, they are not small puppies anymore.


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## kath00 (Dec 3, 2013)

Glad your husband is reading this thread too. Because I did notice in your first post that you said you wanted the dog so it is your responsibility. I have to say that I would be 100% sure that you share the time and effort (and middle of the night wakeups) 50/50. Not only is that the right and fair thing to do, but raising a dog in a 2 person household requires consistency in training and behaving toward the dog. It really doesn't matter who wanted the dog the most. It is both of yours' and it's important that he realizes this. You will leave your DH behind quickly by doing all the training (potty and otherwise), doing all the walks, doing all the laundry and chores while he takes a back seat. Quickly the dog will pick up on this and take advantage. All the while you may be feeling miserable and resentful.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

kath00 said:


> Glad your husband is reading this thread too. Because I did notice in your first post that you said you wanted the dog so it is your responsibility. I have to say that I would be 100% sure that you share the time and effort (and middle of the night wakeups) 50/50. Not only is that the right and fair thing to do, but raising a dog in a 2 person household requires consistency in training and behaving toward the dog. It really doesn't matter who wanted the dog the most. It is both of yours' and it's important that he realizes this. You will leave your DH behind quickly by doing all the training (potty and otherwise), doing all the walks, doing all the laundry and chores while he takes a back seat. Quickly the dog will pick up on this and take advantage. All the while you may be feeling miserable and resentful.


I was the one who wanted Ollie and do more as Ollie and I hike etc, but Alan is right there with everything. Then I wanted new adopted Tyson as well and have been doing most of initial stuff this past week as I have more experience with dog behavior, but Alan has been great help and will take him for rides ( he loves car) and will help in so many ways. This morning he got up and did the rigorous early morning wake up routine for first time and I am happily still here in bed listening to the chaos from the other room  I needed this morning and I love Alan for knowing that
Little reprieves are necessary appreciated and bond the entire family. When one takes over the care, even once in awhile, it just is great for all concerned


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## thorbreafortuna (Jun 9, 2013)

Training class is your best ally. Make sure you practice, practice, practice everything they teach you at home with him. Even as a little puppy a training session at home was the surer way to get my Thor settled and redirected. It does get better, and in the bigger scope of things, it gets better really fast. It doesn't feel that way when you're going through it, but afterwards you see it. My puppy is now 10 1/2 months and I can barely remember the madness of the early months. He is presenting some teen behavior now (yes, that is a thing. Sorry to have to break this to you), but this is not even comparable to the tougher puppy months. Sure, every so often he will jump and want to tug at the leash on a walk, or try to steal a pillow or bite my coat, but thanks to the training foundation we have put in place it isn't really that difficult to redirect him at those times with a simple sit and stay command and a lot of praise for being a good boy when he lets up. Hang in there, and enjoy his time as a little puppy, it passes in a flash!


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## Beth8 (Jan 23, 2014)

No judging from me. When we first brought Jasper home, I think we all regretted getting him and thought we couldn't cope. I know that sounds bad but it was just SO much, taking him out again and again, getting up in the night. People post pictures and say how fun their new pup is, but I don't believe them 
He's nearly 18 weeks old now and it is 20 times better. We don't have to watch him like a hawk, we don't have to go outside with him and he only needs to go out every hour or 2, he still has an odd accident but it's not a big deal. We can actually be more relaxed with him, and he goes 11pm-5:30am. He can do 4 hours in his crate during the day, although we only ever left him that long twice. 
It got way better after a month for us. It was the toilet training that was the worst. So don't worry, people maybe don't express how overwhelmed they are as they fear judgement so pretend it's all going great, but I think many do struggle in the early stages. I've seen people say they have had dogs before and had forgotten how much work puppies are! You will look back in a month and breathe a sigh of relief, both that you persevered and that it has improved so much


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## Care54A (Jul 15, 2013)

It's totally normal. My first post in this forum was "Feeling overwhelmed." LOL There are still days that make sigh, BUT it gets better! You'll get past the teething/housebreaking stage and then he'll enter the chew everything/teenager stage. There will be challenges and frustration. But hang on, because there's also a lot of fun stuff: the first hike, the first encounter with water, cuddles, and lots of love.

It will get better. More importantly, you will get better. Chin up.

On a side note, I notice you're right up the road from us. Where'd you get your doggy?


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## Cjames (Dec 17, 2013)

Wow can I relate to this. First night with our new puppy I was trying to sleep and started thinking what the h did I get myself into, I didn't much sleep for 2 weeks and then trying to work full time also...ugh. I wanted the puppy it was all on me, my husband didn't want anything to do with raising a puppy. He told me I have to do everything and pay for all her expenses. Anyway he helps me now somewhat, and he loves her, not like me but he does..lol. She almost 6 months now and things are so much better and it will get better for you.


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## 1oldparson (Mar 5, 2013)

I understand. Our Ginger is almost 15 months but she was our first puppy in almost 20 years. With the other, we were much younger & had 3 kids at home to help. Ginger wore us out! After all the lost sleep, I told my wife I'm now sure menopause is God's gift to old people. We surely couldn't handle a newborn child. So, by comparison, a puppy is easier. 


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## Bob-N-Tash (Feb 24, 2008)

X-pens and training and classes are great. The classes are as much to train the owner (perhaps more) than they are to train the puppy. And we had 2 x pens which we joined together... sometimes to create a space where Tash could be with me while I worked on one or another task.

Some puppies are easier than other, you just never know. Sometimes I think the issue is timing. An 8 week old puppy brain is very different from a 10 week old puppy brain... and sometimes you just have to wait for the brain to develop enough to have some things 'click'. 

By the time your pup is 2 years old you will pretty much have the dog you want. But even then you will find yourself looking back and missing some of those moments of early puppyhood which pass all too quickly. I never missed the little piranha teeth... but I did miss having Tasha try to climb into the tub with me everytime I took a bath.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Hey there! It is okay to feel as you are feeling. Just stay the course and you'll do just fine! Would love to see some pictures!


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## Leia BarksALot (Mar 24, 2014)

I could have written the exact same post! We got Leia when she was 8 weeks, and now she's 14 weeks. The first few weeks were exhausting and overwhelming... sleepless nights, loss of routine with my kids, loss of my down times at night. I felt my every waking moment was ruled by redirecting, potty training, cleaning, crate training, listening to her whine and bark, waiting in the cold and rain for her to go while getting my clothes ripped and mending my chewed up hands/arms. I felt like I neglected everything else, including my kids, chores around the house, other pets and my husband.

I also wanted the puppy and we agreed that I would take on the responsibility. My life was turned upside down and I had second thoughts the first couple of weeks and was often wondering what I had gotten myself into.... I'm glad I'm not alone!

So after six weeks so far, I will say that it does get better and it did get better. Leia started sleeping through the night and was in a better routine after two weeks... then all of that got messed up while we went on a trip over Spring Break (planned before we got her) and she stayed with my parents. Then, after two more weeks (around 12 weeks), she was noticeably calmer and better behaved. I know we're not out of the woods yet... still a land shark and needs a lot of work on house manners and overexcitedness... but we're getting there day by day. She's crate trained when we leave the house, she sleeps through the night, she's calmer/more subdued than before and is better on the leash... still lots more work and training needed though!!


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## jojo47 (Mar 2, 2014)

Don't despair! We got Scout at 8 weeks and I thought it was going to be so easy as I'd read up on everything and thought I was super prepared. But no! I have to say he turned our life a little topsy turvy. 
He is now 17 weeks and things are much more settled and we have established a routine which has helped hugely. It's like having a new baby in the family and everyone has to adjust to it. As the weeks go by you will find your feet and start to enjoy your new puppy. Just relax and treat it as a learning curve. You are both learning and he will make you smile more than cry in the long term. Scout is just sitting under my kitchen table trying to eat something he shouldn't be! Have you got a crate? It's the best thing we got, he has used it from day 1 and is happy to go in there. 
Hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.


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## LuvGoldens4Ever (Dec 14, 2009)

You'll get through it!! I've cried many times over the last 4 weeks with my little guy Cohen (now 13 weeks). It's definitely a HUGE adjustment, but well worth it in the end. We have a 4 year old Golden at home too, so it was a double whammy because Hudson made us feel so guilty for bringing home the little monster, LOL.. That's his nickname. He is already starting to show signs of light at the end of the tunnel, but I know it's a very long tunnel! With Hudson, we really started seeing a change in his behavior at 12 months, but I would think that some vary. Going to puppy school will help! Training is SUPER important at this stage of their life. We're already enjoying the benefits of "stay, sit and come". You'll get there!!


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