# Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a friend or relative



## GoldenDude (Nov 5, 2016)

GoldenDude said:


> This article, Why Losing a Dog Can Be Harder Than Losing A Friend or Relative, came across my FB page. It is so true.
> 
> I found this part particularly interesting.


I have four kids which includes a set of twins. I gave the twins very different sounding names to try and prevent myself from misnaming. Nevertheless, I still sometimes go through the entire roster of names in our family until I land on theirs as I'm calling to them. Interestingly, they never mind when I call out one of the dog's names by mistake but they dislike it when I call out their twin's name by mistake.


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## Pilgrim123 (Jul 26, 2014)

I solved the misnaming problem when my boys, Brett and Bill, were young - if I was mad at them for any reason, they both became Brill! 
As for the article, it made me think carefully about our relationships with our present dogs - we spend more time talking to the dogs than we do to each other, and I hate to admit it, I certainly show my dogs more physical affection than I do my husband! No wonder we are so lost when they die. Or why we miss them so much.


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## alphadude (Jan 15, 2010)

Found this to be particularly apt.

_*that the loss of a dog is so painful because owners aren’t just losing the pet. It could mean the loss of a source of unconditional love, a primary companion who provides security and comfort, and maybe even a protégé that’s been mentored like a child.*_

*The loss of a dog can also seriously disrupt an owner’s daily routine more profoundly than the loss of most friends and relatives. For owners, their daily schedules – even their vacation plans – can revolve around the needs of their pets*


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## Cody'sMom (Nov 7, 2010)

True, alphadude. 
My life revolved around Cody for 13 years. His walks, potty routines, brushing his fur every other day, brushing his teeth every night before bed. Everything!

Then suddenly it all ended. It will be 3 months tomorrow since he went to Rainbow Bridge.

I sure agree it is a devastating loss of a beloved family member.

Connie


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## alphadude (Jan 15, 2010)

Cody'sMom said:


> True, alphadude.
> My life revolved around Cody for 13 years. His walks, potty routines, brushing his fur every other day, brushing his teeth every night before bed. Everything!
> 
> Then suddenly it all ended. It will be 3 months tomorrow since he went to Rainbow Bridge.
> ...


Connie, Ax has been gone 6 and a half months now and I am still trying to readjust my day. Every single day for 7 plus years, he and I would go to the beach or park for disc practice. We literally missed a handful of days in that time. My "Ax time" literally took precedence over pretty much everything else. It was the *best* part of my day and what I looked forward to. I would race home from work in the fall and winter so we could get max time in before the sun went down. The switch to DST used to be a national holiday around here, because it signified an hour more sunlight per day.

Even though i have 3 dogs here now to spend time with, it's just not the same, and never will be.


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

So very true about routines and rituals we shared with a lost pet. It's hard to adjust to the "new normal"

When I lost my heart-and-soul dog, Nikki all those years ago (this summer it will be 20 years!), I felt so completely lost and bereft I literally didn't know what to do with myself. And nobody seemed to truly understand. I got the "it was just a dog" remark more than once. 

But I also recall it as a time when I finally bonded with my MIL. I had always viewed her as self-centered and a little clueless in general. She came to my house, made me tea and let me cry. We talked and talked and talked about death and loss. And she said the one thing that made me love her forevermore: "I know you are grieving the loss of Nikki every single bit as much as I grieved the loss of my mother. A loss of someone you love is just that - a loss, no matter whether a human or a beloved pet."

I'm not sure I would equate the loss of my beloved dog with the loss of one's child, but I knew in that instant that she "got it" and understood the depth of my feelings. Our relationship was solidified by this experience.

I was with my MIL when she passed away a few years ago and I promised her that I would keep an eye on her beloved Chow Chow, Charlie and make sure that my FIL did all the things that MIL did with the dog. She thanked me and said, "I've been worried about Charlie's routines and how he will cope after I'm gone. I knew you would understand."


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

When Tesia was in her last weeks, undergoing cancer care, I said to my sister, "Maybe this is why I was not supposed to have kids. I can't imagine pain worse than this. How do people endure the serious illness or death of a child?" She said, I imagine you are feeling the exact same depth of pain right now that I would feel if one of the boys were sick. She is your family - you have cared for her for 12 years. It's the same." I think she was right. The depth of love is there. And I think because you take care of them and they are entirely dependent on for their entire lives, it is deeper than a friend or relative who you loved but didn't necessarily care for. I hope this makes some sense. It makes sense in my head.


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