# Need Advice From the Rescue Folks...



## FlyingQuizini (Oct 24, 2006)

I have this client with a wonderful, rescue Golden... 3 years old. This dog is VERY fieldy -- and therefore, VERY active and busy.

The family had a previoud Golden, but their previous dog was from heavy conformation lines, so it was a big, mushy, laid back Golden. They didn't realize that Goldens can come in different "flavors" and that the field dogs are going to be more active, etc. I'm disappointed that rescue didn't explain this to them.

They brought the dog to my Beginner class. Dog did well. Is undersocialized, so nervous in new areas, but willing to work for the woman. I just did a private at their house last week. Great dog - really really workable -- but it's going to take a lot of work and management. The dog is tearing up the yard, eating through the pool fence, eating the kids toys, etc. The husband works a zillion hours a week and wants a "trained dog" vs. having to train a dog. The woman is really busy at work right now and has admitted to not having any time to work with the dog. The nanny walks the dog twice a day, but doesn't do any training - it's not her job to train the dog, and she's busy taking care of the two kids.

SO - long story short, I brought up the idea that Barkley might not be the right dog for them. At first she said she wanted to try training first, having me come over and work the dog for her and then show her what to do to practice. However, I just got an email from her saying she's decided it's not fair to the dog -- that they don't have the time, etc., etc. and they think they need to contact rescue and send her back.

On the one hand, I agree with the decision. This is a GREAT dog that deserves to be with a family that has the time to devote to training so that she's not always getting in trouble. On the other hand, I feel badly that she's now going back to rescue. I don't think that the family are bad dog owners, nor do I think they should be denied a dog -- it's just that THIS dog was a wrong match. I think there are plenty of Goldens out there who'd do fine with two walks a day and a bit of play in the yard with the kids -- but that just isn't enough for this dog.

I dunno... I guess I'm just needing to vent. It's been a hard two weeks. My mom has been in the hospital the past two weeks and has been diagnosed with a disease for which there is no cure; the symptoms will oblierate her quality of life, and above all else, will cause neurological damage - and she's only 52... And today is my birthday... and well, I guess I'm just feeling a little blue....

....*sigh*......


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## justmejanis (Feb 25, 2007)

Oh Stephanie, I am really terribly sorry to hear all of these problems. I really feel badly for you. Venting is good, vent away here anytime.

Happy birthday...today is my son's birthday too! I know with all you are dealing with it won't be great...still try to have a little fun.

About your mom, I can imagine the devestation. So, so sorry. May I ask what shehas been diagnosed with? 

Again I am sorry. When it rains, it pours as they say. 

Try to hang in there. I'll send lots of good thoughts to your Mom!


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## Maggies mom (Jan 6, 2006)

We have had many HIGH energy dogs returned to us and it wasnt for the lack of not telling them they were HIGH energy...The people didnt listen and this was the dog that they had to have. We are now more selective on these dogs....It is very sad to see them leave for there new homes and then be returned. I agree its best that he goes back and find a family that can devote more time in training. Sorry to hear about your mom.... Happy Birthday!


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

Stephanie, I'm sorry about your Mom. It feels a bit awkward to wish you a Happy Birthday when you have so much weight on your shoulders, but Happy Birthday Stephanie.

As for the dog, if your gut instinct was to say it might be best for the dog to have an owner who can fill his exercise needs, then you are probably right. He probably needs someone who has the time to train him and also have lots of FUN with him. 

My Shadow is ALWAYS ready to go. I think having Tucker join our family at the right time helped to keep Shadow busy. I know it help with his rehab from hip surgery. They were both one when Tucker came to live with us. 

Hopefully, the right family will come along. Maybe they will keep him until a rescue can find him the right home? Or, do you think it's best he go directly into rescue/foster where someone with more time and training knowledge can begin working with him?


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Happy Birthday Stephanie....
Some birthdays are definately harder then others...
I can only imagine what your whole family is going through with your Mom's illness....When a mom is serioulsly ill it can shakes the whole heart and soul of a family.

Hang in there....


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## GoldenShamus (Feb 26, 2007)

Stephanie,

I'm sorry to hear about the news of your mom, just very sorry. I can tell from the way you post that you are a wondeful warm hearted person and I imagine her having you in her life will help keep her strong. I hope she stays healthy as long as possible.

The story of this rescue dog is sad. It sounds like the family is too busy for a new dog right now, or at least one so active. He deserves someone who has the time AND the wanting to do all the necessary training. Giving him back to the rescue so they can appropriately place him is the nicest thing they can do for him right now, in my opinion.

I imagine that your assessment has really helped this family make their decision and you should feel good about that, it's not your job to do their job, you can only tell and show them what needs to be done. Don't beat yourself up--you didn't give the dog up, they did. Perhaps from the beginning, they needed to be more clear with the rescue as to how demanding their work schedules are.

I have the dog you described, "the laid back mush" (now that he's 2 1/2 that is..LOL) and I know in the future if I adopt, which I plan to, that I will need to be very clear about the personality and exercise level that works best for my life.


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

Stephanie, my sympaties for to you for such a crappy day. Wish I had a magic wand to wave and make everything okay. Instead, I'll pray for you and your mom.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I'm so sorry about your mom, and being your birthday getting that news probably hit harder. I know medical science is progressing every day, I pray they find treatments to help your mom.

It's too bad about the rescue dog, but probably the right choice returning him. Could you send your evaluation of the dog, and the situation, with him back to the rescue group? It might give the rescue a better idea of what kind of home and lifestyle to place him in.

Take care.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am sorry you got this sad news on your birthday. The only advice I have is spend every available minute with her so you have lots of good memories to help get through the bad times. I lost my mother to cancer last August. I was lucky that she was able to come live with us when she was diagnosed, so I could take care of her. We got to talk alot and bring up great memories of growing up while looking at the photo albums. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. 
As far as the dog is concerned. You did the best thing you could. You helped them as much as you could and counseled them on the rescue return. At least they realized this before the dog was left alone to do more destruction. They need a low activity dog maybe a senior dog. I hope the rescue doesnt punish them for bringing the dog back. Maybe they can cousel them on the type of dog they need. If they need one at all. It sounds pretty busy in their house. 
I wish you a happy birthday even in this tough time.


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## katieanddusty (Feb 9, 2006)

Awww Stephanie I'm very sorry about your mom


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## gold'nchocolate (May 31, 2005)

First, I'm very sorry about your mom. Second, Happy (belated) Birthday. Third, I think you are right about the dog and it will probably be much happier in a home that leads a much more active lifesyle. Could it be that it was turned in to rescue the first time because of it's energy?


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## hawtee (Nov 1, 2006)

Stephanie,
I am so sorry to hear about your mom, I do know what you are going thru, it's not easy..
I agree with your choice on the dog, he needs a more active life, field goldens are like that. He is nuts because he is so bored..
Happy belated b-day I wish it was better..and vent all you want.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Awww man  I'm sorry about your mom. As you well know I can relate a bit with having a loved one with a similar sounding condition. I can also relate about the dog stuff. It's so hard, and you just want to do what's right. You know where to find me if you want to talk. Happy Birthday, btw, even though it doesn't sound like much of one. I hope it gets better.


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