# Help! Advice needed for growling/possessive puppy!



## mon.mitch5 (Aug 31, 2012)

I have a 3 month old golden retriever, Milo, and just as we seem to sort out one problem behaviour another one emerges. The problem last week was biting at my kids however this weeks is a bit more serious and he has been doing a lot of growling and snapping over rawhide bones (the first time he did this I managed to get the bone off him and no bones allowed any more) and then toys and if he asked to do something he doesn't want to.

I have put all his toys in a toy box away from him and offer them to him one by one, asking him to drop them intermittently and rewarding if he gives them. I have also reduced the space that he has in the house so that he isn't in the main thoroughfare as this was causing issues with the kids. He can still see me in the kitchen though and as I was sitting here this morning he started growling and barking. Not sure if he was pushing the boundaries or communicating with me so I ignored for a while and then said very firmly "cut it out" and rewarded him when he stopped. He hasn't done it since. 

I am very firm with him and he gets nothing for free. He isn't allowed through doors first and has to sit or get down if he wants any attention. I am really pushing the manners thing but he keeps 'pushing' back. I am doing some clicker training with him and we do at least 3 sessions a day with 'special' treats to keep his interest. I can just tell that sometimes he isn't happy with what I am asking him to do and I occasionally don't trust him not to snap at me. I feel that he has only reluctantly accepted me as the pack leader and takes every opportunity to challenge me. Am I doing the right things? I feel very mean and as though he has no fun but I guess as he learns to behave appropriately then he will be allowed more fun, although I do spend a lot of time with him. If it was just me in the house I would be less bothered but I really don't trust him with the kids at the moment and feel that he is really struggling to find his place in the family. If anyone has any suggestions I would love to hear them as I am feeling a bit desperate. I have got a trainer coming out next week to assess so will hopefully get some useful info from that but I am very concerned in the meantime that I am doing the wrong things and making the problem worse. Particularly as one dog behaviourist I phoned for advice was a bit of a scaremonger and kept going on about the horrific injuries my kids could suffer if I didn't let him sort this out immediately (obviously at vast expense!)

Any advice very gratefully received!


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## toliva (Nov 24, 2011)

Sounds like very typical puppy behavior to me. This is normal and not aggression. Personally I don't think a behavioralist is necessary - have you enrolled in a puppy class?

As for trusting him with your children, you should not. And this isn't because he's out of the ordinary or aggressive, it's because puppies and children should ALWAYS be supervised.

I think it's good to teach manners, although be sure you have the right expectations. He is going to be a puppy, and act like a puppy for many more months, but eventually your hard work will pay off. On the other hand, do you play with him at all? He deserves to have some fun, and having fun & playing can help work off some of that excess energy.

I don't understand what you mean when you say he can "see you" where he is - are you saying he is not with you? He needs to be in the same room as his people. This is critical. If you have him separated, this is why he is barking and acting frustrated. He isn't pushing boundaries, he is telling you he is uncomfortable with being separated from you. If I have misunderstood the situation, apologies.

Just always remember that he is a baby. He is no more "aggressive" than a toddler would be.


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## mon.mitch5 (Aug 31, 2012)

Hi,

Thanks for your take on it. I am concerned that I might be overreacting and I am trying hard not to but it is a bit scary when you have to put a glove on to get a bone out of your dogs mouth because he is biting so hard and really snarling. I am trying hard to put his behaviour into perspective though and it really helps to discuss it 

At the moment he is limited to where he can be. This is partly because we have a couple of flights of steps that I don't want him to go up and down until he is older, partly because it isn't possible to completely puppy-proof the house and I want him to be safe and also because I can't be around to supervise him and the kids all the time. I would rather than he was near and could see us at those times but contained by a baby gate than that he was shut away in his room when the kids are getting ready for school etc as these seem to be times where he gets a bit wound up and very bitey. It got to the stage where I was having to be with the kids any time they wanted to walk down the corridor. Not possible to do that all the time and be ready for school on time! 

He doesn't seem too frustrated by being contained as he is physically close and still gets attention when he is behaving appropriately. It also means that it is easier for us to walk away when he gets wound up, rather than me having to struggle with him biting me when I try to get him to his room to give him a 'time out", which invariably causes an escalation and leaves me feeling very stressed. I also spend a lot of time with him and we do play games, especially ones that incorporate a bit of training, such as drop and down-stay. He isn't very interested in fetch though! I guess my feeling is that as he learns to behave a little better he will have more freedom until eventually he will be able to go everywhere except upstairs. 

We try to take him into the lounge with us in the evenings but he won't settle, gets very wound up and very bitey again to the point where we can't sit without him being all over us, jumping up, snapping and chewing the furniture, and then snapping at me when I try to stop him. No amount of different chew toys seemed to help so this was why we tried the rawhide bone which was good for a couple of days and helped him to settle until he got really possessive. It became very stressful for everyone and seemed to make things worse so we have given it a break. Will try again over the weekend! Fingers crossed.

Hope that all makes sense. Even typing this is helping me to put it in perspective so thanks for that!:wave:


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## mon.mitch5 (Aug 31, 2012)

P.S. Yes we have enrolled him in a puppy class which he loves, although he is the biggest dog there so I think some of the other owners are a bit nervous of him. A little unfairly I feel as he is clumsy and loves rough play but hasn't been aggressive, just loves to run around with other dogs and has boundless energy! He is still going long after the others have given up and hidden under the sofa!


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## toliva (Nov 24, 2011)

Getting ready for school was the worst time of day for us. It goes to show you how much our own states of mind reflect on our puppies - the hurried-ness of that part of the morning really revved up our puppy. Often I needed to put him on a leash during this time.

I kept bitter apple everywhere - I filled squirt bottles with it so I could have it within reach at all times. It really helped with the biting.

Up until our pup was 4-5 months old, we pretty much lived in our kitchen with the puppy. We have an open-concept house so we had to get creative with x-pens; we expanded them out to make temporary walls. Relaxing in the living room in the evenings was not an option until he calmed down a bit with the biting and such. I got soooo sick of my kitchen table.

Make sure he gets lots and lots of exercise, time with people, and socialized with noises, people, and dogs. Good luck - it gets better.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

Your 3 month old puppy isn't being aggressive, he's being a Golden puppy. Golden puppies are very mouthy which to a first-time owner can seem aggressive. Baby gates and X-pens can be your best friend, so use them often. During those hectic times - bedtime, morning routine, etc. put him in his safe place until things are calmer.

When Hank was little my granddaughter was living here, my disabled sister was here for a short stay. Mornings were nuts! I just gated Hank in the laundry room out of the fray until everyone was out the door. Made life much easier.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Please teach your pup to trade, and trade consistently for anything you need him to give up. Forcing him to 'give up' an item because you 'say so', is breeding grounds for real conflict and possibly serious injury in the future. If you are just taking things from him, you are teaching him that he must try 'harder' if he wants to keep what he has. Start with a toy, trade him for a treat, give him back the toy. Repeat a million times. Focus on making it 'worth his while', a good thing -to surrender what he has to you, and he will either get it back or get something better or both. It is no different than a child stealing a new toy from another child, the loser will likely get angry or frustrated, and learn to 'try harder' next time to keep the prized possession.


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