# Male vs female puppies/how affectionate are females?



## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

Hi everyone,

I've had my heart set on getting a boy golden as my first dog, but the only one left in the litter is a girl (available end of Jan). I have never pictured myself with a female dog because I've always wanted a very affectionate, loving lap dog. I've read just about all the threads regarding this, and most answers say girls are "love me love me" and dogs are "love you love you". I do like the fact that girls can be more independent, but apparently they can also be bossy and stand-offish compared to the boys. 

Since I'll be unemployed for possibly the next 4-6 months, I think getting a puppy from this litter would be perfect timing considering I'll get to spend the first crucial 2-4 months with her almost 24/7. If I don't get a puppy by the end of March, then I may not have adequate bonding and training time, so I may not get a puppy for another few years and will settle with a mature dog. 

Right now, my situation is highly suitable to raise a pup. It just depends whether or not I should get this girl or wait a few years for my situation to be more ideal to get a boy. 

So what I'd really like to know is.. how are your golden girls going? How affectionate are they? Do you get to pick cuddle time, or is it up to them? 
Why do you prefer girls over boys or vice versa? 

Any information about your girls would help me come to a conclusion. Thank you.


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## asntheo (Jul 29, 2014)

I've always had female dogs and we currently have a 10 month old golfer girl. I find girls VERY affectionate! They are lovers as boys are. Golden pups are VERY busily so as she grew past 12 weeks her energy level is very high and therefore we haven't been cuddling as much of late...lol! I think this tends to ring true whether is a male or female


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

I've only had femails. Some have been lovers and some have not. Tayla is my biggest lover to date. She loves to snuggle. Lily is much more independent, but likes to be loved on at times.


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## Coco's Mom (Jun 2, 2014)

Coco is a 8.5 months old female golden puppy. She is my velco and laptop dog. She loves me very much and always show her affection to me. Unlike the boys, girls don't stop at evey tree they see You will not regret for getting a girl puppy. They are as sweet as the the boys.


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## valita (Apr 23, 2014)

definitely get her, my daughter got a brother of reba when I got her and he was humping everything after she got him when he was little, don't know if he is now, haven't seen him, reba is like Coco's mom said to me ,Velcro, I love it, even though she's in my way most of the time,lol


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## MaureenM (Sep 20, 2011)

Finley is very loving and very much a Velcro dog. There is almost never a time that she is out of my physical reach when we are home. She doesn't necessarily need to be on my lap, but she does stay by my side. Years ago I had a male, and over the years have had 2 other females other than Finley. I don't remember any real difference between them. I love them both and wouldn't hesitate with either .


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## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

Thanks everyone for your answers! 
The pups from this breeder are so highly sought after. I only have about 12 hours left to make a decision. 
Is it true that girls bond better with male owners and vice versa? 
If I do end up getting the girl, I'd really want her to be a total velcro dog, very loving and affectionate. I guess it's partly to do with their gender, and partly to do with her personality, whereas boys tend to always be lovebugs! I'm not sure if I'm willing to wait years for a boy though...


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## jaina8851 (Apr 19, 2014)

I was in the opposite situation as you. I had my heart set on a girl, and the only puppy available was a boy. Everything that I read at that time told me, particularly for Goldens, that it ENTIRELY depends on the individual puppy's personality. You have aloof girls and cuddly girls, you have energetic boys and calm boys. I think you should go for it  You will fall in love with whichever puppy you get, and not be able to imagine it any other way.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I have a male and a female, love them both. My girl is very bonded with my husband and my boy is very bonded with me. They love us both, but you can definitely tell and it's very obvious with them, as to which of us is "their" person.

When I got my bridge boy, I actually wanted a female but none were left in the litter, I decided to go ahead with him and I don't regret it at all. He was my first Golden and was such a wonderful dog that I will always have a Golden in my life. He loved us all but as he got into his Senior years and my son went off to college, he formed a very strong bond with my husband. He was always by his side regardless of what he was doing. 

You'll love this girl, maybe somewhere down the road you can add a boy later.


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## Yaichi's Mom (Jul 21, 2012)

Both my GR's....Yaichi whom I lost in 2012 and Brisby who is now 2 1/2 years old are female. Both were very loving, attached to me, velcro dogs, however in different ways.

Yaichi never gave kisses, yet Brisby is a huge kisser. Both loved being loved, yet loved/love to share love in their in their own way.

As others have said before above, each dog is different regardless of gender. 

Have you met this pup? Meeting the puppy before making a decision would probably give you a good gut feel is she is the dog you are searching for. Also, ask the breeder about her temperament and personality. The breeder has spent time with this pup since she was born. She/he should be able to give you an assessment whether the pup would be a good fit of what you are looking for. 

Both my girls have been wonderful....very different, however I would not trade them for any other dogs on the planet.


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## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

I'm so appreciative of all the help so far, it means a lot considering how little time I have left. 

The breeder is a top breeder in Australia. Unfortunately I'll have no choice in which pup I get because I live in a different state and the pup would be shipped to me. I've been told the breeder selects for us, but I will request a pup with a particular personality/energy level. I've met two male dogs from this breeder and they are literally *perfect* examples of the Golden Retriever breed. I am guaranteed amazing temperament and nature so maybe I should care less about gender. 

It's just that I've always dreamt of being a mum to a baby boy, but I'm sure if I get a girl I'll love her just as much. Although a family dog living with me and my retired parents, I'll be the main owner so hopefully she does bond well with me. 

The only thing that's making me paranoid is all these stories I've read on this forum about girls being independent so that's why I'm asking to hear stories from preferably female owners with velcro female goldens! 

Thanks again


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## Yaichi's Mom (Jul 21, 2012)

I think it's also important to remember that the bond we all from with our dogs is different due to the energy we exude that they pick up from us and vice versa. If the mutual energy between human & dog is more simpatico, the stronger the bond ....I hope that makes sense. 

Each and every GR pup, male of female will be different in some way. The GR characteristics we all read about are generalities for the breed, however each dog will not manifest them 100% in the same way. A lot depends on the environment they are raised in, socialization, training and what & how you do and interact with your pup IMHO. 

Please keep us posted on your decision.

Good luck!


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

I was in the same situation and decided to get the girl. Now I probably will only ever own female Goldens. Molly is more bonded to me than my BF. My BF also likes the girls because he likes having his "baby girls". It might be a human thing, tending to bond with the opposite gender, not necessarily a dog thing. 

Whoever the dog bonds to depends on who does the training, and who spends more time doing things with the dog. We always knew Molly would be mine so I was the one taking her to classes and doing all the training. When I picked Molly up, my breeder told me Molly had been a cuddle bunny since the day she learned to walk. She still likes to curl up in my legs.


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## Kora2014 (Sep 15, 2014)

momo_ said:


> Thanks everyone for your answers!
> The pups from this breeder are so highly sought after. I only have about 12 hours left to make a decision.
> Is it true that girls bond better with male owners and vice versa?
> If I do end up getting the girl, I'd really want her to be a total velcro dog, very loving and affectionate. I guess it's partly to do with their gender, and partly to do with her personality, whereas boys tend to always be lovebugs! I'm not sure if I'm willing to wait years for a boy though...


I have had two female goldens and both have been extremely affectionate! Our 6 month old will litereally lie at my feet while am doing dishes just so she is touching me! 
She will jump up on the couch and lay her head across my lap to nap!

I have found both my females to be very loving, affectionate dogs, but not annoying where they are bugging to be petted all the time!

My sister in law has a male golden and he is always bugging to touched. He will come over and nudge your hand until you pet him! 

It all depends on what you want! I personally love my females and wouldn't have it any other way!


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## fourlakes (Feb 16, 2013)

If you decide to go with the female be sure to tell the breeder how important that temperament is to you. There are a variety of dispositions in a single litter - some boys and girls more independent, some more people-oriented. The breeder should match the temperaments with what their buyers are looking for in a dog. So talk to them and emphasize what you want.


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## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

Your stories are making me really happy! I'll be the one who does everything. I'll be training and monitoring her almost 24/7 for the first few months since I have so much free time. I'll be taking her to puppy school, feeding her, taking her out to socialise and of course lots of cuddling. My parents aren't too fussed, they're just there to watch over and babysit when I am employed later on next year. I hope that the attention I'm able to provide her will make her love me back. I think I'll just go for it and hope she's as precious as your girls!


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## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

fourlakes said:


> If you decide to go with the female be sure to tell the breeder how important that temperament is to you. There are a variety of dispositions in a single litter - some boys and girls more independent, some more people-oriented. The breeder should match the temperaments with what their buyers are looking for in a dog. So talk to them and emphasize what you want.


I'll be sure to do that. Thank you!


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## Wenderwoman (Jan 7, 2013)

Personally, I find my girl just the perfect amount of loving. She asks for petting and will allow me to lay on her, hug her or give her any affection I want to whatsoever. She will lean in and want to be petted for long periods and roll on her belly for big belly rubs. She will lay on the couch next to me or at my feet and doesn't even care if we use her as a foot rest. She gets super excited when I get home and loves to give kisses. She does have some moments when she wants some quiet time to rest but she is very interactive and loves to be around us. She even gives hugs.


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

I think that boy/girl thing is a load of hooey, and I've owned a lot of Golden Retrievers (and other dogs). It's completely dependent on the individual dog.

My two current females are complete opposites. One would love nothing more than to lie next to me and get petted all day long. The other is completely independent, dispersing love only in occasional rapid bursts of enthusiastic insanity, and then she's gone.

Then, my one boy at 2 years old still doesn't know how to snuggle, and it was 6 months before I could get him to spend even 10 seconds lying next to me. And he doesn't know how to "kiss" (lick). Instead, he will occasionally try, but will only bite my ear and leave a big patch of dog slime on the side of my face (yuck!), so I'm thankful it doesn't happen often!  While my previous boy, Charlie, was a total velcro dog.

In the 12 or so Goldens I've had as pets, I have not been able to discern a pattern. Except, generally, the girls are a little sweeter than the boys, and the boys are more rambunctious, but even that goes out the window with my "full throttle" girl, Ziva. When she is about to come barreling into a room, we warn each other by yelling "Incoming!" and then scooping up all the items that might go flying.

So...hooey. Entirely dependent on the individual puppy's temperament. And even then, it might be a couple of years before you discover his/her true love coefficient.


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## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

DanaRuns said:


> I think that boy/girl thing is a load of hooey, and I've owned a lot of Golden Retrievers (and other dogs). It's completely dependent on the individual dog.
> 
> My two current females are complete opposites. One would love nothing more than to lie next to me and get petted all day long. The other is completely independent, dispersing love only in occasional rapid bursts of enthusiastic insanity, and then she's gone.
> 
> ...


I was starting to be less optimistic about getting a girl just then. My decision keeps changing with every new thread I read, so it's nice to hear that you think affection is not based on gender.  

Still thinking...


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

Just get your puppy! She will be perfect! But you can't order puppies like pizza, she will be her own dog, and you will love each other like crazy no matter what each of your personal traits are.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

Girls are perfect. Boys are perfect. GOLDEN RETRIEVERS are perfect.  Stop overthinking it and just get the girl!

My Zelda is a complete Velcro cuddle dog. She'll sit calmly in our laps like a baby when we rub her tummy. She'll let us lay on her all the time. Her favorite spot currently is when anyone is sitting on the couch, she'll climb behind them and drape herself around their shoulders like a scarf, then lay her head either on theirs or right beside it cheek to cheek. She also loves to stand BETWEEN peoples legs. 

My roommate always says Zelda LIKES other people, but she LOOOOVES me. She's mh shadow. She likes to come in the bathroom with me, if I'm upstairs and she's downstairs it won't be long until I hear her running up the stairs.

Just get the girl and stop thinking about it. Boys can be independent just like girls can. Girls can be cuddly just like boys can. If you're really lucky, your pup will have an insurmountable amount of patience and tolerate being used as a pillow.


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## dtread7 (Aug 1, 2014)

momo_ said:


> Thanks everyone for your answers!
> The pups from this breeder are so highly sought after. I only have about 12 hours left to make a decision.
> Is it true that girls bond better with male owners and vice versa?
> If I do end up getting the girl, I'd really want her to be a total velcro dog, very loving and affectionate. I guess it's partly to do with their gender, and partly to do with her personality, whereas boys tend to always be lovebugs! I'm not sure if I'm willing to wait years for a boy though...


I have had both a male and female golden and it is true at least in my case that they are more attached to the opposite gender. Jake loved my mom and sisters and Daisy is more attached and loving towards me than my girlfriend. But she isn't at all standoffish towards my girlfriend... Still very loving. But I think affection has more to do with the dogs personality than anything else!


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I had always heard the same thing about girl dogs and our first 4 goldens were boys. We then had an opportunity to get our first girl and out the window went the theory that girls are not as loving. We now have our second female and she is our snuggle bunny. When we ride in the car she will go for long periods with her sweet little head on my shoulder. She loves to be cuddled and will follow us everywhere. Three of our boys were very cuddly as the boy we have now also is BUT one of our boys was very independent his entire life. He would snuggle when he wanted to. I definitely agree it is each dog's personality and probably how you interact with your puppy adds to that. I say go for the little girl!!!!


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## zoeygirl (Jul 23, 2014)

My Girl, Zoey is 6.5 months old and not the most affectionate dog but she shows it in other ways. She may not lay down and cuddle with us much but she always has to be with us. Whenever i'm at my computer working she has to be under the desk at my feet. My fiancés parents have 2 pugs and she can get pretty jealous if they "hog me". She will lay down in bed with me for about 20 min but she prefers the cool bathroom floor to sleep on.


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## B and G Mom (Oct 29, 2014)

I have boys and girls and I too am in the "it's the individual dog" camp.

Bailey (at the bridge, my first Golden, my baby boy dog) was affectionate but not overly so. Much more independent than my first girl. He would come and get love when he wanted it and "tolerate" being loved on it when you wanted him, but after a few pets it was off to find a toy! But when I would exercise on the family room floor, he would crawl over to me and paw at me for attention - every time (I miss that so much). He favored whoever was willing to throw a toy for him (no preference to my husband over me or vice versa).

Blossom (at the bridge, first female, my sweet rescue angel) VERY affectionate. Had the arm nudge down to a science! Not very interested in playing with the other dogs very much but would, much more interested in cuddling up with her people. We don't know what her early life was like, she came to us at 5 years old - she attached VERY quickly and again didn't favor men over women - it was whoever had a free hand to scritch her ear or hold her hand (she loved to sit and hold hands - oh how badly I miss that).

Belle (first female Golden we raised as a puppy) also VERY affectionate. She only prefers food over people lol. As a puppy she often napped in my lap, now she will curl up at your feet or sit with her head on your lap for love. The only thing she "won't do" is lie on you upside down... she has to be facing you - all my other dogs will stay on their backs and nap on you. Belle won't start out that way at least - but she is also the kissiest of the dogs... be on the watch for a kiss lick attack with her lol - I wonder if this is another reason she has to face you during snuggles - she needs access for a kiss! When I am exercising on the floor she will try to get "under" me sometimes which is hysterical - I call her my gym partner. Belle is always up for loves/snuggles/attention. 

Gunner (almost 5 month old male Golden puppy) is another affectionate one - our cuddle puppy. He will curl up on my feet in the kitchen while I'm trying to cook even if he only gets a few moments of snuggle in. He loves to be held and never so much as squirms a bit. He is neck and neck with how Belle was at 5 months and the amount of snuggles. We hope he keeps this quality and doesn't "grow out of it". He loves to wrestle with Georgie (another very affection dog, but since she isn't technically a Golden...).

Overall: 

Both my males and females have been very affectionate dogs (with only Bailey being "less so"). All of my Goldens would seek out the affection of any human willing to give it (Bailey and Blossom were therapy dogs). All of them have liked being scooped up for a couch nap with you (even Bailey would take a wonderful summer afternoon nap lying on me in a deck chair). I would consider all of them super love bugs, and all but Bailey "velcro dogs" even though Bailey did need to be touching you even if he wasn't interacting with you. He would be chewing a toy, but would need to be touching part of your foot or leg, where the girls I have had are more inclined to want to be petted than chew a toy. 

So male or female all my Goldens have been big time lovers - it's just the degree that has varied.


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## Lise123 (Jan 1, 2014)

Like you, I had the chance to get a puppy from a great litter... at a perfect time... but not the gender I wanted. I had my heart set on a girl, and seven of the 10 puppies in the litter were males. So we took the jump and just hoped that it would work out.

And it's been great! He is not the wild man I was afraid he could be. And though I am his favorite person (and his primary caretaker), he is also crazy about my husband.

We have met a lot of goldens out walking, and honestly, girl or boy, they are generally so sweet and loving, you can't go wrong. I hope you chose to get your girl since the timing was right for you to be with her.

Keep us posted!


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## service1 (Nov 17, 2014)

*Feel the connection in your heart*

I agree, affection does not depend on gender. I had a male golden who was calm and sweet and very affectionate. And now, I have a baby girl, three months, who is as sweet as she can be. She can have belly rubs all day long and follows me around the house everywhere i go. Ask the breeder about her personality and meet her, or see her pictures to feel the connection. I picked Bella when she was three weeks old, I just knew she was the one for me, she fell asleep on my arms right away and kissed me afterwords. I think, in your heart you will know.


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## momo_ (Dec 15, 2014)

Hi everyone,

I've read through all of the comments and thank all of you for sharing your thoughts! 
You have no idea how close I was to sending a confirmation email saying "Yep, I'll take her!"
I kept trying to convince myself that I want a girl, but deep down in my heart, it didn't feel right. The breeder lived in a different state, so I wasn't able to meet the girl either. At the last second, I declined. It was so devastating thinking about the possibility of never finding another good litter in time and saying no to that girl. I have no doubt she would've been perfect though because of her bloodline. 

I got in contact with an acquaintance who is the daughter of another breeder, and they happened to have boys available in their new litter! You wouldn't believe my luck. Because of our connection, myself and my lifestyle situation was well considered and now... I'VE PUT A DEPOSIT ON MY BABY BOY!!! 

Things have turned around so much. I'll be getting my boy in the second week of February and will be sure to keep this forum updated!


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

Somehow we get the dog we are meant to have ...


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## peacekeeper (Apr 17, 2014)

Harleysmum said:


> Somehow we get the dog we are meant to have ...


I love this -so true!

Good luck and Congratulations on your baby boy


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