# Help! My dog is a BRAT!



## Anon-2130948gsoni

Is she intact? These behaviors sound sort of broody...hormonal.


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## SheetsSM

Sorry you're having a rough patch w/ Skye. With all of the training she has had, does she know "place" or "go to bed". I think w/ all of the attention she has had, she hasn't learned to settle on her own. I know more training is the last thing you want to hear, but I would recommend a trainer who does a "control unleashed" program, & you can always read the book of the same title.


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## brianne

Is she crate-trained? Maybe that would help to allow both of you to have some relax time. Obviously, make it a happy, positive thing with a treat that she only gets in the crate, like a frozen Kong or something like that.

And she is still just a puppy so some bratty behaviors are not that unusual. She is adorable and that face must be hard to resist.


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## Charliethree

Skye is still very much a puppy, a normal but perhaps a bored puppy with some pent up energy. Dogs need plenty (more than we may think) of both physical and mental exercise, they need to get outside, go for walks, see the world, 'smell the roses', burn some energy, an hour walk once day is simply not enough for her. Find a park or open space that you could take her to, put her on a long line (a leash of about 20 ft. is pretty manageable) to give her some room to wander about - 'be a dog', and let her wander and roam, a perfect time to practice her 'recall' - calling her back to you, and rewarding her for that. When you walk her, vary your route, take her to new and interesting (for her) places, mix it up a bit, walk, run, practice and reward those skills she already knows, sit on a bench, and watch the world go by, all these things can help to burn both physical and mental energy - tire her out. Ensuring she gets enough exercise will help her to settle more easily when you are at home.
At home, try stuffing part of her meals into Kongs or a food 'puzzle' toy, (there are plenty of different types on the market), so that she needs to work a little bit to eat and burn some mental energy. Consider what you would like her to do, and give her something to do, when you need some 'alone' time yourself. Many dogs are quite content laying on a dog bed, in the same room (teach her to 'go to her bed (mat, place)' and make it a good thing for her) chewing on a chew bone, or working on a Kong with some peanut butter, or other goodies smeared/stuffed inside. 

Our dogs cannot just 'turn off' when we want them to, we need to ensure they are getting enough physical and mental exercise, so that they CAN settle and relax when we need them to. We need to teach them what is expected of them, (avoid punishing/correcting for mistakes - punishment does not 'teach' a dog what TO DO, it just makes them leery of you) and reward them for doing it.


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## Jersey's Mom

I don't think the problem is that you don't give her enough attention. You sound like a loving, attentive owner with the best of intentions. The problem I see here is that she is training you rather than the other way around. You talk about how she will bark/growl/dig on the bed until you pet her, how she will whine and scratch at the bathroom door until you let her in, and how she will bark and carry on during TV time until you play with her. From your phrasing, I get the impression that you eventually pet her, let her in, and play with her in these scenarios. She is learning that she gets what she wants by doing these things. Dogs do what works and this is working for her. If you are trying to ignore her and hold out for longer periods of time before giving in to her, you are teaching her that persistence pays off and strengthening the behaviors that ultimately you would rather limit or eliminate. I don't think you will find any person who has owned a dog who has not made this mistake and fallen into this cycle at some time in their life. So count yourself in good company and understand that I am not pointing any of this out to make you feel bad (because I've been there too). 

So what can you do about it? You have to change the way she asks for attention. You have to find a way to reward calm and quiet behavior and make THAT what "works." I don't know your schedule, but if you are able to get her some vigorous exercise to start the day you will have a much better shot at setting you both up for success (just make sure you have some space between the exercise and her morning meal). A tired puppy is a good puppy! Look into Nothing in Life is Free (NILIF) here on the forum or elsewhere on the internet. It will help you set some boundaries and teach her that sitting quietly and giving you her attention is the best way to get what she wants. She will also need to learn to settle and self-entertain. Kongs stuffed with frozen goodies or puzzle toys (with a few treats or to dispense one of her meals) are great for this. I would also consider crating her when you need to leave home until she is more trustworthy. It may seem like a mean thing to do, but if she is getting into all sorts of things while you are gone she could really hurt herself or make herself sick. 

Hopefully these suggestions will give you a good start. I would also recommend you consider working with a trainer either one-on-one or in a group setting to help teach you how to best communicate with her. Good luck!

Julie and the boys


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## 4goldengirls

I agree with the other posters here.

It sounds like you have a teenage dog! Yes, they can be bratty then one day you'll notice the bratty behavior has subsided and you'll have a calmer dog. Some take longer then others. Goldens are definitely in your face dogs that want to be with you as much as they can. 

If you're getting frustrated your dog will pick up on that and become more bratty. Time out in a crate is not to be a negative. Make it a positive experience for her. Time outs for are short durations only about 10-15 minutes. Give her a Kong filled with peanut butter and kibble, or another stuffing, that she's got to work on to get the goodies. Give it to her in the crate. You're not rewarding the bad behavior by doing this, you're just redirecting her. No matter how angry/upset you may be you must remain calm when putting her in the crate. When she's calmed down you can calmly open the crate door and let her out again. If she's in turbo mode, she goes back in the crate.

Maybe you can arrange a play date with another dog/person that you know. Another dog will tire your dog out in ways you never thought possible.
As button pushing as she may be you must ignore her demands for attention. It will escalate before it extinguishes. Again you must remain calm.

Some causes for attention seeking behavior can be a lack of physical activity, boredom or nervousness. The more a dog practices a behavior they then forget what or why they're doing something, it becomes a bad habit. Your goal should be to eliminate the pleasure (therefore the reward) that the dog is getting from the action. No matter how many times you may physically correct your dog, if your dog is still getting satisfaction from performing the action, she will keep doing it. 

Don’t “correct” the barking with any verbal cue (that’s rewarding her with attention). Ignore the demand and replace it with an incompatible behavior.
Sporadically reward the dog for being quiet. This has to be very random because you don’t want to risk setting up a chain reaction where: barking for a while + not barking for a while = treat.

It takes time, patience and consistency.


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## wjane

Sounds like the teen stage to me - I've experienced that with a couple of my dogs. Everyone has made great suggestions. She's a pretty girl - definitely has that 'look' in her eye in the first picture  Patience will be a virtue with her. Hang in there.


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## Claudia M

Where was she for the first 10 months? You said she is 15 months and got her at 10 months.


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## The life of Piper

I have heard that Golden's stay puppies till there about 3 years old. She's still acting like a puppy! Good luck!


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## nolefan

Please understand that I am absolutely not criticizing you, you've done a great job, but she is just a dog who needs a little different management. My first thought is that you say she came to you at 10 months of age and she is now 15 months. You say she has had "ton of training?" To be honest, 5 months of training is simply not sufficient to make a puppy into a dream dog. Especially if it is 'boarding training' where someone else is working with her. That may have taught her some commands but it didn't teach her to work with you and for you and it didn't give you practice in handling her.

My parents have a Golden who has some similar characteristics. She is busy and always pushing boundaries. She is around 18 months old and they have been working HARD with her since she was 8 weeks old. Weekly obedience and agility classes, daily playdates and off leash retrieving and running etc. She is always pushing the envelope and she is so darn cute that they have a hard time being strict and consistent with her. She is a pet and probably would have done better in a home with multiple dogs and with someone who is a serious obedience competitor who wouldn't have let her get away with some of the pushy behavior. Sounds a lot like your dog?? The flip side is my parents' dog is wonderfully smart, loving and has classic Golden temperament, loves people of all ages, never met a stranger etc. Don't forget to focus on your girls' positive points, you WILL get through this. Here are my observations from your comments:



goldenSkye1 said:


> ... I can't believe I'm calling my sweet dog-baby a brat, but that is truly the most fitting word for what she has become. ....1) She is not a baby - she is a dog. Lots of people can get away with treating their dogs like human children, but you have a dog right now who needs to be treated like a dog. At this point in her growth, that is the best way for you to help her learn to be the dog you can live with. Are you still going to obedience class and working with a trainer on a regular basis? How often is she going to 'doggy daycare"
> 
> Diva is another word that suits her..... 2) Again, realize that she is only being a diva because you have agreed to be her 'posse' and accommodate her demands. Put her on a leash, have her drag it around the house. When she acts demanding, pick up the leash and have her behave. Go through a quick training session and then decide if she needs exercise or a diversion etc. Do it on your terms, not hers.
> 
> ... she is walked for an hour every day and we play with her toys a lot. 3) An hour of walking on a leash and some toy play is simply NOT enough exercise for a young, healthy hunting dog in the prime of her life. An hour walk around the block is good exercise for your 80 year old grandmother, it is not enough for this dog. She needs daily hard, aerobic exercise that gets her heart rate up and leaves her panting, a good 20 minutes minimum. It is up to you to figure out something that works for your schedule to make sure she gets it. Some things that I have found that work : off leash hiking in the woods, playing fetch at a pond where she can swim, puppy play dates in the living room on rainy days or buy a dvd to help you work with her on retrieving skills. She needs a good reliable recall for off leash work, try to build it so that you can do more of these activities with her.
> 
> ...Third, she lives with me (Robin) in my apartment and is my only pet... It is absolutely possible to have a big dog in an apartment, but it puts more of a responsibility on you to get her mental diversion in addition to hard exercise. Teach her to "down/stay" while you go hide her favorite toy in another room and then release her to run around and look for it. schedule 10 minute training sessions into your morning and afternoon time so that she is getting those lessons that make her learn new things, not just practice the old tricks. Feed her meals in a kong, make sure she has a bone or chew toy when she goes in her crate for down time so you can have a break.
> 
> 
> ...When I first got Skye, at 10 months, she was very hyper, yes, but very loving. You didn't tell us anything about her background - what happened to her for the first 10 months? Have you discussed any of it with the vet? It might make a difference in the advice you receive here if there is anything you've forgotten to share.
> 
> ....Also, she's started to tear things up when I'm gone. If she tears things up, she should always be crated when you are gone for her own safety. The increase in the behavior is a sign of insufficient exercise, mental stimulation and possibly some anxiety. You are very lucky she hasn't seriously injured herself or died. Please crate her every time you can't watch her.[/SIZE3] She's done this since I got her, but now it's just overboard; for example, she chewed up a COKE CAN. What dog chews up a coke can? A bored dog. They will chew the siding off of a house if they are left unattended and are bored.[/SIZE3]It's metal!
> 
> And she loves to pick up parts of the things she tears up and have me chase her for them, which is new...A classic sign of wanting attention. When this happens, do not chase her. Run in the OPPOSITE direction. Get something yummy or interesting and show her how fascinating it is and then run away from her into a different room, she will come running to you. Then trade her..... Since you live alone, you need to pick everything up and buy trashcans with lids so this doesn't happen, it is self-rewarding every time it happens..
> 
> ...when I sit on the couch to watch TV, she comes up to me and claws me until I play with her,Stop rewarding this behavior. I am guilty of absent-mindedly petting my demanding girl when she does this at my house. Believe me, I know how it happens. It's your job to stop rewarding this. Option 1 - every time she does it, make her get off the couch, put her in a "down/stay" for 5 minutes. Don't let her break it until you release her. Pet her when you're done. No easy tasks. Option 2 - Quicker and effective. Dogs like this need you to be firm. Take the side of your forearm - wrist to elbow - , and quickly and sharply shove the flat side into her in the shoulder while using a louder (not yelling, but louder) gruff voice and tell her QUIT! Then tell her to go lay down or whatever phrase you use when you want her to go. She needs a consistent response that does not give her what she wants. NO caving in.
> 
> I don't know what to do! I'm not asking for an easy dog.... The suggestion of Nothing In Life is Free is an excellent one from a previous person who responded. She needs more exercise and consistent training and management and it will get easier as she gets older if you are consistent.
> 
> I've done research online and came up with the conclusion that I need another dog to help her learn that she is NOT the alpha (I AM!!), but I cannot get one. ......Another dog will not teacher her she is not alpha. Only you can teach her who is the leader in your house. And you are correct that you don't have time for a second dog. You need all your energy to train and manage the one you have.
> 
> ... Skye now seems very unhappy and bratty and acts like I'm not a good mom. Like I said, she is my LIFE. Here's the thing, you're NOT her mom. You are her leader and the owner of the home and everything good in her life. She can be the center of your life, but she does not need to run the show. Some dogs can be "fur babies" and "4 legged kids" and all that business, but her personality says that she really needs you to be the leader and she needs to be given boundaries and rules with CONSISTENT reinforcement.




Please go through all the advice you've received here in your thread.and make yourself a check list of the things you think you could try and start making some changes. You're a great owner and you will get through this with her.


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## DJdogman

Very typical teenager!! I very much agree with the post above. I tried lots of different training methods and the one that seems to work for us is to show our dogs that I am the boss. Completely ignore her when she is acting up. When she lies down calmly go and pet and reward her. You show her which behaviours are acceptable, and which ones get no attention at all. Don't let her call the shots. I really feel for you being so upset over it, its very stressful having a dog misbehaving. She'll come round very very soon I bet.


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## goldenSkye1

Thank you SO MUCH, everyone! I will be considering and practicing your suggestions! 

For those of you asking about her first 10 months, she was with an elderly couple who had to give her up because she was too much for them.


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## thomas&betts

goldenSkye1 said:


> Thank you SO MUCH, everyone! I will be considering and practicing your suggestions!
> 
> For those of you asking about her first 10 months, she was with an elderly couple who had to give her up because she was too much for them.


Knowing how sensitive goldens are, she's probably anxious you're going to give her up. I wish I had a video to show you of grace in her act-up stage. Kinda like you gotta learn to love it, and then after a few minutes control it. They get more confident of your commitment to them with time. Make this thread her training log. Every couple of days, come back and discuss progress.


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## 4goldengirls

Forgot to mention in my earlier response that I have a pup that's 17 months old which is very close in age to your girl. We got her from her previous owners when she was 6 months old. This dog has more energy then any dog I've ever owned (Labs and Goldens). Her motto is go-go-go. But she's been taught to enjoy her down time. She also loves to learn. My dog Chloe thrives on all aspects of training - obedience to interactive puzzles..

What you may want to do is make a game out of learning/obedience - keep it fun and upbeat. You may want to invest in one of the dog game puzzles for Skye. Mental stimulation will also help to calm her down. We've had a bit of a rough winter here in NY this year, so outside time hasn't as much as we'd like it to be so inside time is supplemented by small short obedience sessions and puzzle time.


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## Claudia M

goldenSkye1 said:


> Thank you SO MUCH, everyone! I will be considering and practicing your suggestions!
> 
> For those of you asking about her first 10 months, she was with an elderly couple who had to give her up because she was too much for them.


I was not sure if you meant 10 weeks and just typed 10 months. Reason why I only asked and did not elaborate. Since you have only had her for 5 months please note that all dogs have what is called a "6 month honey moon". At first she was unsure about her new environment which probably made you think she is more cuddly and quiet. As she became more accustomed to her new home and the environment she is coming out of her shell. 

You have received wonderful advice here. Take it slowly, one little step at a time.


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## Jennifer1

There is so much to your post that I relate to. My girl is a great dog, but she is a demand barker like I've never experienced before. She barks at me during obedience training (frustration?), while I'm getting her food ready, if I'm on the phone, etc....

I have been guilty of rewarding her behavior. I pet her to stop barking when I'm on the phone, I give her treats to silence her demands. So I've done an amazing job of teaching her barking is a good way to get what she wants!

I've tried 2 different techniques.
1). Ignore the barking, literally! Turn your head away from the barking. Don't look at her, don't touch her, don't talk to her. With most dogs that have learned barking works they will try to bark longer. If you cave in you've just taught her to bark more. You have to let them finish barking before you acknowledge them. For real barkers you will need to go through the extinction burst. They need to try to outwait you before finally giving up. Each time you cave in, you teach them "that" is how long they need to bark.
That didn't work for me!
2) at the very first bark, she is quickly and unceremoniously taken to crate or spare bedroom for 30 sec, or until stopped barking. Barking means all fun ends immediately! This one is working for me. Usually I have to do it 2-3 times for each new situation and then she stops barking in that situation.

Good luck


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## Leslie B

I think that Julie nailed it. 

My only add would be for you to up the hard exercise. Walking is a poor way to drain energy for a young retriever that was designed to RUN for hours a day. Get a very long line (50') or find a large fenced area and do retrieves for 20-30 minutes as often as you can. I also find that the formal sending of the dog for the bumper and the formal return with the bumper helps to reinforce obedience and self control. You might find a retriever club in your area to help with this type of retrieve.


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## thomas&betts

Robin, can't wait to hear how training is going. Everytime I see improvement in my little angel (lol), I think of your "brat" post. The good days are coming! A very smart sweet girl in Pittsburgh who first met my angel of 10 weeks, and then several times weeks later, told me she would come home some nights an just want to kill her baby (apparently he was quite destructive while she was at work). This was the last words I would ever expect out of this girls mouth. At 1 1/2 years old, her pup was the sweetest gentle giant you could run across. Her comment and what her brat had become helped almost daily to lower my daily expectation of Gracie. It seems like the stronger the personality, the more enjoyment they get out of pushing your buttons. Don't forget with all the aggravation to take lots of pics, because the day when your baby slows and greys will come sooner than you think.


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## Debrogers1

I feel your pain. My 4 year old Bella is a total diva and lately, it has gotten ridiculous. She barks at everything and nothing. She usually stands right in front of me, looking right in my face and barks in a way that makes me feel like Im being yelled at! She wont listen and only comes when called if she feels like it. I feel like Im raising my 14 year old daughter again. God help me.


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