# Feeling like giving up



## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Ah, tonight I have one of these moments I really doubt the decision was right to get a Golden Retriever puppy. Bailey is 8 months old and a very active and excitable dog. She wants to play with all dogs she sees and wants to greet and jump up on any person we meet. She's not by any means agressive more playful.
It's very difficult for me to keep my son and her separated almost all the time because she would knock him over or mouth him... unfortunately she still is very mouthy. 
I just came home from a walk and it was so frustrating for me. She always used to jump up on me and tried to bite me several times on our walks... the last 2 months it really got better and she does it maybe one time (2-3 jumps in a row) but tonight she just was totally into it and I felt attacked. I just couldn't control her and I was standing on the chain leash and she still tried to bite my pants. I got the chain leash a few weeks back because it really helped as she can't play bite it like the regular leash. But I hate when she has this attacks on me, as it really hurts and she jumps and tries to bite my arms, back just whatever she can grasp.
We go every week to Obedience Classes and she's otherwise a very sweet dog and very obedient, but this out of control phases are really not fun and I feel stupid beging attacked by my own dog.
Also at home she's still very mouthy and when she wants to play she grabs a toy and comes towards me and nips me with the toy in her mouth and sometimes without it... just to get some attention. I tried NO, the Ouch, the ignore etc, but nothing seems to work.
Anybody having tips how to stop this mouthy jumpy behavior at home and on our walks... especially on our walks she really gets totally nutty.
PS: I am not giving up on her, but I feel really down tonight.


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

Hang in there. You have a puppy teenager who is just trying to test you patience. Just double up the training and in a month or so you will be through the worst of it. I is a stage all goldens go through.


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## jwemt81 (Aug 20, 2008)

She is in her adolescence, so this type of behavior is to be expected at times. Just keep working consistently on the training and make sure that she is getting plenty of exercise other than her daily walks. A tired puppy is a good puppy.


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

Have you thought about doggie daycare? Maybe 2x's a week, she'll get to romp around and tire her exuberant little butt out. Keep up with the training, keep repeating "this is only a phase". 
Is your trainer working with you on these specific issues? Perhaps to give you a different approach and/or exercises?


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## Loboto-Me (Nov 13, 2008)

Lucky me, my Duke was rescued by me because of the very same thing your little Bailey is putting you through. Duke was a rough and tumble "difficult" 7 month old.

Each day I am reminded of how lucky I am that they gave up on Duke before finding out what a diamond in the rough he actually was.

Don't give up, the extra training will pay off in the end and she should outgrow many of those behaviours.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Thank you so much... I am just so frustrated because I hate these walks with her. When I am with my son in the stroller she has still this jumping thing going but not so ouf of control as when we are alone on our walks.
Today was one of the worst walks (there were two others) where she was out of control and I couldn't really get her to calm down and I come home crying because I am so frustrated.
She's a very excitable puppy and I often wish she would be more mellow... at least I see some very little changes... and I plan on continuing the Obedience classes once a week for many months to come.


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## zephyr (Sep 29, 2009)

*OHH I SOOO FEEL YOUR PAIN. *That is Oscar, with me, on leash. Not all the time during the walks, and it's been getting a LITTLE better... but one "bad walk" and I am sooo frustrated all over again. My coat sleeves are embarasingly shredded... :doh: So I have not really any advice for you... as OaklysDad says... keep it up! It's a stage!! I hope... :uhoh::crossfing They are testing their boundaries. I think the best thing is to NOT lose patience (I need to tell myself this 1000 times!), stand still... and be the human... It will pass! Redirect her if you can, or move to a different location. Practice walking when she is already very tired, or walk with someone else if you can so they can step in if you are overwhelmed... probably not a 100% solution but you need to keep your sanity!!

Someday you will look back on this when you have a great well-behaved doggie and think -- it was SO WORTH IT!! All my hard work paid off  Seriously though message me if you ever need some venting and sympathy! Because I totally know what you mean.

Best of luck!!!


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## janine (Aug 8, 2009)

Just wanted to tell you to hang on it will get better. I think 9 months was the worst time when Chester was a puppy. I bet Bailey needs more excercise and a little more training.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

She's going to Doggy Daycare 2-4 times a month, I can't really bring her more as it is expensive.
I know she should get more off leash time but I am a little hesitant on going to the dog park and I have always my 3 year old, so I can't really chase two "off leash"


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## Nicole74 (May 30, 2009)

I don't have any advice for you, but I want you to know I've felt the same way with my dog. I wanted to give up. However, my dog was aggressive. I work/ed very hard with her every single day and she has improved drastically! It was to the point where she was aggressive with my youngest daughter and went as far as snapped at her a few times.

I still work with Bailey everyday and now I have to work on her fear issues with other dogs. Bailey is afraid of other dogs and select people. If there is a stranger in our house, I have to have her on a leash by my side, I have no clue if she will bite them or not. Some people she loves and others she is very afraid.

My girl is fear aggressive and also has little resourse guarding issues. With a lot of work, I will have a wonderful dog. We still have to work with her daily and I'm betting it's going to be like this always.

Hang in there. There are a lot of people who will give you good advice what to do. It will get better!


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

We go every day on two long walks, each approx. 45-60 minutes and 1.5 miles. I can't really do more than these two walks as I have my toddler with me all day. I do also a few training sessions a day with her and she's rarely more than 2-3 hours alone during the day.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Wow, Nicole your Bailey looks so much like our Bailey, she's a cutie. Yes, I remember your story a few months back and I feel lucky that I don't feel any aggression from Bailey but still when she tries to bite me during our walks... doesn't feel like "I love you" ...


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## zephyr (Sep 29, 2009)

iamswiss said:


> I know she should get more off leash time but I am a little hesitant on going to the dog park and I have always my 3 year old, so I can't really chase two "off leash"


The dog park is AMAZING for achieving a tired (and well-behaved!) Oscar, but I can totally understand not wanting to bring a small child there... in addition to Oscar requiring constant supervision, I would be so worried about someone's dog knocking my kid over.



iamswiss said:


> We go every day on two long walks, each approx. 45-60 minutes and 1.5 miles. I can't really do more than these two walks as I have my toddler with me all day. I do also a few training sessions a day with her and she's rarely more than 2-3 hours alone during the day.


This is definitely good -- keep it up  that is more than a lot of doggies get, I'm sure!!! 

Can you maybe arrange a (free!) doggie play date a couple times a week? Running off-leash is one good exercise for Oscar, but it's WRESTLING with a well-matched dog pal that really tires him out... and, I think, satisfies some of that I really-really-really want to mouth somebody urges with another dog, and not my arm! LOL we also have good luck with playing tug with ropes, but that does require a lot more action on our part... and we tire a lot faster than he does LOL


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## GoldenOwner12 (Jun 18, 2008)

I know how you feel all too well. Shelley use to go obedience every monday night but i quit doing it now. Probably cause Shelley doesn't seem to be getting any better, shes good knows the commands etc. But when it comes to walking onlead she will not listen no matter how much i stop or tell her heel. So i have gaven up on Shelley and now hate taking her for walks. 
She has problems but every behavourist i've seen reccomends Shelley be put down. No matter how much walking offlead runing and training i do with Shelley she will still come home and dig a hole. Keep her home and fat she stops digging werid i know.


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## mybuddy (Mar 2, 2007)

I remember once when Buddy was that age, I took him out for a walk, came home and fell in the middle of the livingroom floor, put my head on my knees and burst into tears. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling!!! I remember once crying on the side of the road when he was jumping on me, biting my arms just after rolling around in a pile of mud. 

Trust me, it does get better and I guarantee that there will be a day when you will look back on this and smile. I know I do..it was all part of our journey.

PS

Da Buddy still has his "moments" and he is 7 years old. :wavey:


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## californiagirl (Dec 11, 2009)

Take a toy with you on your walks. I have one ball that is specifically for our walks. It helps get her attention back on me if I wave it in front of her nose and I have found she likes to carry it which helps with keeping her mouth busy! 

Good luck!


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## rappwizard (May 27, 2009)

Other ideas--can you try to duplicate the problem for your obedience instructor? Maybe as a suggestion that each of you in class bring up a problem that you're working on at home, and need help on, rather than the obedience lesson the instructor has planned (ok class, iamswiss has suggested that for next week's class we all come ready to discuss an obedience problem from home that we each need to work on and we'll all provide input on how to handle it). You'd be surprised what you can accomplish by the timing of your corrections, and that timing could be part of the problem--just a thought.


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## lizamartin (Feb 3, 2010)

Oh you are not alone with all this stuff!!! Soda went through all this and is just now at a year old getting the message about play biting being bad behavior. I started very early on to absolutely hate walks. I tried the Halti collar that so many of my dog owner friends have had success with but Soda just would not accept having it on and was more interested in getting it off her face then going for a walk. I have a backyard thankfully so I throw go out with her everyday and throw balls. She runs full throttle retrieving those balls! I hope that is good exercise because I still have not gotten back to the walks.


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## MILLIESMOM (Aug 13, 2006)

Our Millie was a firecracker. She was not fun to walk for the first three years of her life. Believe me I tried everything. My older Golden was a joy to walk. When our other Golden passed we got Pearl our yellow lab. Walking Millie and Pearl was like water skying on land. I finally got them both a prong collar. I know some people do not approve of this collar but with proper use it is a God Sent. Millie was also aggressive towards other dogs and people when we were out walking she would bark and lunge at the person or other dog. Once they walked up to us and she met them she was fine. She was always loud and rude. But she turned out to be a wonderful dog and softened some. Just keep trying you will get there. Be constant and do not let her win. We had Millie since she was eight weeks old, she was a terror then. She left us at the young age of nine just a few short weeks ago, cancer. If I could do it all again I would.


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

Lucky is a very low energy dog but even HE was out of control at that age in many venues. It helpped to teach him commands like "off" and "no bite" using treats to get the communication across....but even when he knew them there were times I didn't have control.

It is SO HARD when you have small children and you are raising a pup. I was down quite a bit...really frustrated. Plus my husband was working a high-powered stressfull job...so dog and child raising was mine alone.

Maybe this is why I have it in my mind....no more puppies.

But the rewards if not immediate....are great. Please keep working at it. It helps (a little) to see each frustrating moment as a "training opportunity"


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## Golden_Lover (May 10, 2009)

Charlie is now a year old and still does not walk on a loose leash but he does not pull me down the road or jump up on me like he used to in the beginning so I consider that to be successful and we are still practicing every day!

It takes patience. I love to watch the Dog Whisperer and I remember him saying that your emotions go right down the leash! So when you feel frustrated guess what...so will your dog! Then whatever it is you are trying to train him/her to do will not be successful at that moment. You need to stay calm and redirect yourself before you can redirect the dog. That is hard because you are training yourself as well as training your dog but the rewards are so worth it!

I kept thinking I know I must look stupid to my neighbors when I do my "about turns" in order to get Charlie to heel on a loose leash or am just standing still on the sidewalk but hey whatever works. 

I also agree that the dog park is a great way to get out excess energy and if you can't do that, invite a friend over with a dog who is well matched to your dog to have rough and tumble play. It is important and they learn to nip at each other and tell each other when enough is enough! 

I also like to take treats with me on the walk and sporadically treat when he is walking on a loose leash (for you it would be not jumping or not biting), reward for good behavior. 

Keep it up, don't get discouraged, listen to some positive upbeat music while you are walking if you need to!


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

zephyr said:


> The dog park is AMAZING for achieving a tired (and well-behaved!) Oscar, but I can totally understand not wanting to bring a small child there... in addition to Oscar requiring constant supervision, I would be so worried about someone's dog knocking my kid over.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


In our neighborhood most have little dogs and I think Bailey would just be too wild for a little yorkie etc. All my other firends don't have dogs, but I will try looking for a play buddy for Bailey.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Golden_Lover said:


> Charlie is now a year old and still does not walk on a loose leash but he does not pull me down the road or jump up on me like he used to in the beginning so I consider that to be successful and we are still practicing every day!
> 
> It takes patience. I love to watch the Dog Whisperer and I remember him saying that your emotions go right down the leash! So when you feel frustrated guess what...so will your dog! Then whatever it is you are trying to train him/her to do will not be successful at that moment. You need to stay calm and redirect yourself before you can redirect the dog. That is hard because you are training yourself as well as training your dog but the rewards are so worth it!
> 
> ...


Yes, I learned very early on, that Bailey gets nuttier when I get angry. If she has just 2-3 jumps on me it's very easy to stay calm, but when she jumps up nonstop and the bites start to hurt it's hard for me not getting frustrated. 

I always have treats with me and most of the time the clicker and whenever she walks fine next to me or if she doesn't get too excited when another dog is close or is behaving with a person passing us, I praise her and give her treats.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

SheetsSM said:


> Have you thought about doggie daycare? Maybe 2x's a week, she'll get to romp around and tire her exuberant little butt out. Keep up with the training, keep repeating "this is only a phase".
> Is your trainer working with you on these specific issues? Perhaps to give you a different approach and/or exercises?


I have a trainer and another trainer friend and get some tips, most of them mentioned on this forum. It's also difficult because I can't really show them the behavior as she does it mostly when we are on our walks alone. If I am going on a walk with someone else she doesn't do it.


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## mdoats (Jun 7, 2007)

Your dog needs plenty of exercise, some play time with you, and some training time every day. The reality is, that even when you do all of that regularly, a 7 month old golden will still work on your last nerve! I always felt that if I just did something different, Rookie would behave better. And he did... eventually! It just took some time. 7-8 months was a particularly trying time with Rookie.

Rookie is almost three now. And he's truly a wonderful dog. I can't imagine my life without him now. But getting here took some work... I just went back and found a couple of my posts in the puppy forum from when Rookie was 7-8 months old. Kind of funny to read them now. Not at ALL funny back then! Like this one:

Help me to NOT strangle my puppy

and this one:

I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog

Keep coming here. The people on this forum really helped me keep my sanity during Rookie's obnoxious phases. Just rest assured, Bailey won't always be like this. Honestly!


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

There has to be a way to get this pup lots more physical exercise. How about employing a local high school kid to take her for a huge walk daily? Will she play Chuck It/ Fetch? Burning the energy off is essential. When you take her for a walk, will she carry a toy? How about bringing a long rope toy along with you so you are telling her what to bite rather than who not to bite, lol? How about swimming in the ocean?


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

Ljilly28 said:


> There has to be a way to get this pup lots more physical exercise. How about employing a local high school kid to take her for a huge walk daily? Will she play Chuck It/ Fetch? Burning the energy off is essential. When you take her for a walk, will she carry a toy? How about bringing a long rope toy along with you so you are telling her what to bite rather than who not to bite, lol? How about swimming in the ocean?


I so empathize with you on this issue. We've been down that road ourselves with our Toby. Toby was given up by his original family at 5 months for these same behaviors. He was picked up from his breeder and dumped into full time doggie day care after 2 weeks until the rescue could find a place for him in the foster program. We adopted a wild child. There were many times one of us thought about calling the rescue to come take him back. 6 years later he is still a wild child at times, but most of the jumpy mouthy stuff is over with. We survived the puppyhood from hell!  He came to rescue with his AKC paperwork and I contacted the breeder, learned his breeding line is from field champions and Toby was just bred to be a high energy, active pup. Knowing that helped us focus on finding channels to expend his energy and open his mind. 

What helped for us was finding Toby a "job". Yes, finding him a job! We tried several things including putting a backpack on him for distraction during walks (it works). His main job; however, is finding tennis balls on his walks (and for a dog with a blind eye due to a cataract he is amazing). Once he finds a ball he will carry it for miles. If your dog is a ball, a stick or any type of stuffed toy fanatic maybe you should try to give them the "job" of carrying the favorite item on the walk with you. 

At home Toby is food motivated so we used it to help channel his mischevous tendencies, meaning we bribe him with a treat when he steals a "prohibited" item, usually a sock or other item of clothing. That means we keep treats close by. It's a game for them, just a way for them to interact with us, though that was particularly hard to believe when he destroyed my cell phone I left resting on a countertop. 

We still have days now where we wonder how he has so much energy as he approaches seniorhood but we are so happy we stuck it out. With us he is loving, sweet, interactive and a wonderful companion.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I too have been through this stage and found exercise and training the keys .. along with a crate. My Towhee was returned to her breeder for being 'too much dog' around this age and all I can say is the original owners loss was definitely my gain .. she is very sweet and as long as I remember to keep the TP out of reach, very well behaved LOL.

A few ways I have used for the exercise portion (ways that get a dog really tired and happy in just a bit of time) all rely on the retrieve. If you have a fenced area that would be best; but a 50 foot lead will do as well. Teach Bailey to retrieve first on the lead. I will use a Retrievr-Trainer (tosses a bumper 100 yards or more) or a chuck-it or just my arm and send them retrieving. I will also use my stairs to downstairs if the weather isn't good - just whale a tennis ball down the stairs and send them to fetch - they get to run up and down stairs in addition to running on the flat. Teach her to find it, and hide something in the house or outdoors and then set Baily to work. 

Training will not only help them learn what you expect, but perhaps more importantly at this stage, it is just plain hard work and will tire the pup out mentally as well as physically - keep it light and fun but keep Bailey learning.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

One more small short-term thing: If she jumps on you repeatedly, step on her leash very calmly. That's that, at least for the moment. She can't jump, yet you're not being aggressive to her. Don't move until she's calm.


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## kaysy (Jan 9, 2010)

Maybe having your trainer come to the house for a private session. If you don't have one, invest in a Halti, I think it will make walking more pleasureable. We're lucky Marty is pretty calm, but I know a while back we were like "getting a puppy was the dumbest thing we've ever done". Now things are better...not all the time, but better...Hang in there.


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## RedDogs (Jan 30, 2010)

My first dog and golden just turned 9. When he was a puppy I discovered the help the internet could provide. He did the leash-grabbing biting-me thing on walks too. And at training class. He did this a lot. He did this for a really long time. Every day I was crying. The forums told me to euthanize him as no rescue would take him. That made me cry more. But I almost did it, more than once. 

Ultimately we found out he has brain damage and we've somewhat reached a plateau of how training is changing. But the leash thing HAS changed. 

Beg, plead, persuade someone to baby sit. Grab the best treats in the world (cut up bits of cheese chicken, etc). If you are not familiar with clicker training, look into it. Having a way to signal food is coming -without- presenting the food first can be super helpful. Go for a walk. After 2 steps, if he is behaving appropriately, click, then pull out a treat and drop it to the ground. Repeat.

When he gets bitey, stop. Hold still. When he lets go to re-grip, or is distracted by the environment, or starts to mouth the leash, click, and drop a treat on the ground. Repeat repeat repeat. 

We were doing this with a dog at the humane society last night and her bitey games stopped within minutes. I was bouncing around her , we were jumping around the play yard, waggling the leash. When she did grab it, I would freeze and then she would spit it out as fast as she could. She figured out the rules of the game.

This is simple but not easy. It may be useful to have a trainer come to your home and help you with this. Basic training classes are super important and helpful, but if they are not addressing this, then you should turn elsewhere for help. Consider what you are doing in class too...if you are doing the same exercises over and over without making them harder....it's time to find a different class. [my strong opinion is] You should always be either learning something new or working on your skills at a harder level. 

Some things to do at home:
-All meals come from training or food dispensing toys
-Do lots of training. Try to teach him 2 new behaviors ('Trick') every week.
-Vary the path of your leash walks.
-Consider using a gentle leader.

Things to train if he does not already know: 
A go to mat behavior (and stay there while kids frolic around and wave food)

to lie down when a child approaches (...your child doesn't HAVE to be in the same room for this. Use a gate. Child approaches gate=down. The first few times, have a taped line of where you want your kid to stand, then when he is there, cue your puppy to Down. Reinforce. Have your child move away. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Practice "kid with toys" practice "kid with food." And after a few weeks, set it up so there is still tape line for your kid, but no gate. Your puppy is on a leash that you are holding.

-Practice your door greetings. ONLY doing training when you come in/out is not sufficient for most dogs. Keep a tin of biscuits outside the door. Grab a biscuit. Come in. Ask him to sit. Feed it to him. Repeat about 10 times, do this twice a day for 2-3 weeks. Always grab a biscuit when you're coming in the house. At this point, only do it when you happen to be coming home. I would not worry about fading the food out until his leash bitings have stopped or until you are willing to bet $500 he will greet you politely. And honestly, I probably wouldn't fade out the food for a super long time, if ever.


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

Welcome to my world re: your child and your dog. I don't know how old your child is, but my 8 year old and golden don't have the most positive relationship. Max sees Leif as a litter mate and treats him as such. I have found that if I am the one to try to come between them, it really doesn't help. I tell my son he has to interact differently with the dog but as he has special issues, and social interaction is confusing to him - it's a long road. Some days I make my son go to his room and gate Max in the kitchen because I can't take anymore!! I suggest if you can, work on ways to let your child redefine his/her relationship if your child is old enough. If not, stay strong!! Both child and dog will grow up in time!


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## Tristan (Dec 24, 2009)

I can relate to your problem.
When Trinian was 5 to 8 months old he grabbed at my arms.
I had to go on Coumadin because of a health problem and the folks at the hospital wanted to know if I was attacked by a chipper shredder, my arms were so full of scars.
He's 17 months old now and RARELY bites at me, only the snowballs that I throw to wear him out.
I take him XC skiing with me and he gets lots of off leash time and run time.
Hang in there, it willget better !!
Good luck to you and Bailey ! ( she's a real beauty !)


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

{{hugs}}, you are describing my Maggie (RIP) exactly at that age. Just this week I pulled out an old down coat to shovel snow and I saw the patches on the sleeve from where Maggie tore the material jumping and nipping as we walked so long ago . It was frustrating and I can remember wondering what I was doing wrong. What helped with Maggie was, I started carrying a walking stick (or cane or pole would work). I didn't hit her with it but when she started acting up I'd plant it between us or point it at her and say "NO". For some reason she respected that stick. She did out grow all this behavior and was a wonderful pet until she died at almost 14 y.o.


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## MelandEl (May 16, 2009)

don't have any other advice that people haven't already said, but, just wanted to say you are not alone!!! there are moments that sophie can be so frustrating i just want to cry, but then there are moments she can be a complete angel. she still does a lot of the same things you're describing. we're working hard on it, but, i keep having to tell myself, it's a phase, it's a phase!!! hang in there!


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## C's Mom (Dec 7, 2009)

Please give the Halti or Gentle Leader a try. What a difference it has made to me and my Golden. 
Bailey most probably won't like it. C still tries to wiggle out of his halti when I'm putting it on but no halti no walk. At first, when he saw me reaching for his halti attached to his leash he would move away from the door and me so I did the same thing and walked away from him to sit down in the livingroom. He would be jumping and roo rooing to go outside. I'd try again in 5 minutes and if I got the same response then back to sitting and ignoring him I would go. He eventually figured out that he had to sit and allow the halti. You'd be amazed at how much control you will have over the arm biting and the lunging at other dogs.
As for the nipping at home, you can try standing up, telling her "no biting" and "go lay down". She probably won't like this much either but be consistent. If she is really out of control then its "go lay down" while blocking her off in another area. At first, treats are given out only after a good while and once the dog has settled down.
Best of luck to you both. Bailey is a beautiful girl.


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## Noey (Feb 26, 2009)

Scout is jumpy as well. But he is food motivated. When he starts to get hyper. I pull out a treat and make him Sit for 5 seconds, go down for ten, and sit again for five. Give treat. We start to walk again and I have a treat in my hand and make him sit every time I'm not happy...he only gets a treat when I decide to give it to him. 

If we see a dog coming we make him sit in advance and focus on the treats. We sit to the side of a path so the dog that is passing has room. As the dog gets closer I make him go down, and stand beside him. Once they are beyond us I make him sit and he gets a treat. We did this with Noah and it worked well.

Gentle leader is great for a puller. Or a harness as you have more control over the body. It does get better. Really it does.


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## Griffyn'sMom (Mar 22, 2007)

Like Oakly'sDad said - Hang in there! That's exactly the way Griff used to act at around that same age. Oh MY! He'd do it when I went out in the yard with him - he'd be so nutty he couldn't control himself and was smart enough to realize that when he did it, I'd head for the house - then he started blocking my way to keep me from getting in! 

Reinforce sit, down and WAIT. It's what saved me. When he started up I'd make him sit and wait and then I'd go in. They catch on pretty quickly that this "game" isn't fun to Mama.

Make a mental note of what time of day your pupper is doing this. Griff has "Zoomie" time usually after 9:00PM where all the energy he's bottled all day just needs to come out. You may find it's the same time of day and need to change your routine a bit.

Encourage more acceptable activities - fetching a tennis ball, etc. and wear her out a bit before you go for walks. 

Griff just started jumping up and mouthing me yesterday as it's the first time I've been out in the snow with him in over a week. MY FAULT on this but now that he's older I just told him "No - that's BAAAD" and he stopped. Then I started tossing him snow balls and he was a happy camper again.

Patience and lots of training now - you'll get through this.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Ljilly28 said:


> There has to be a way to get this pup lots more physical exercise. How about employing a local high school kid to take her for a huge walk daily? Will she play Chuck It/ Fetch? Burning the energy off is essential. When you take her for a walk, will she carry a toy? How about bringing a long rope toy along with you so you are telling her what to bite rather than who not to bite, lol? How about swimming in the ocean?


 
I think as long as she's that crazy on walks I would not feel good about having her on a walk with a high school kid, she's really strong (besides I don't know any that good). I play with her fetch with the tennis ball at home several times during the day. 
I can't really go to the ocean with her these days as I have my 3 year old with me and I can't chase the two of them at the same time.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

momtoMax said:


> Welcome to my world re: your child and your dog. I don't know how old your child is, but my 8 year old and golden don't have the most positive relationship. Max sees Leif as a litter mate and treats him as such. I have found that if I am the one to try to come between them, it really doesn't help. I tell my son he has to interact differently with the dog but as he has special issues, and social interaction is confusing to him - it's a long road. Some days I make my son go to his room and gate Max in the kitchen because I can't take anymore!! I suggest if you can, work on ways to let your child redefine his/her relationship if your child is old enough. If not, stay strong!! Both child and dog will grow up in time!


My son is almost 3 1/2 and really a very active boy and doesn't listen very well. I wish he would be as food oriented like Bailey when I want him to do certain things, but unfortunately that doesn't work. When the two are together in the same room they run around most of the time, at least she knows to get a toy in her mouth (without me saying anything) and then she's not mouthing him. But of course the running around isn't fun either , so that's why I have to separate them most of the time. I am so glad we kept all the baby gates! She's always with us and can see and hear us but the gates keep her separated from him most of the time. She's only separated from me when she really keeps bugging me and I need to get things done.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

Good luck. You've been offered lots of good solutions. Try to implement some of them and make a real change in the way you handle her so you will both be happier.


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## LizShort (May 19, 2009)

Here are my two cents... for what they are worth (considering it's only two cents, LOL) 

Get a back pack. Fill it with water bottles. Cover it in bitter apple spray and then get out there and walk like you are trying to get away from something that may eat you if it notices you. Don't stop for ANYTHING!!! No peepee breaks, no poop breaks, NOTHING. When you get to your half way point, allow for a quick sniff and a pee or poop. The go again with out stopping. If she decides she doesn't like this walk, too bad. You are on a mission and taht mission is to wear her baby butt out.

Don't give her any room to play unless you give her permission. Try playing for about 2 to 3 mins and then tell her "enough" and get up and walk away. If she follows you and bites, time out. Once she is calm again, play again for 2-3 mins. etc. This teachers her to calm herself down.

I don't know what you have done to "claim space," but you need to do so. Claim your toddler. Claim your house, claim everything. You don't have to pee on it, just move her away from things. 

Don't walk around her. Don't step over her. walk through her. IE make her move. You are the boss!!! watch a story on wolves and see how the pack leader does his or her thing. 

Jake is kinda in that stage as well. When I started claiming everything, that behavior also stopped.


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## Olympia (Jan 11, 2010)

Have you tried a halti leash? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyUrTP3XLp4


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Hang in there*

Hang in there-this too shall pass.
She is exhibiting puppy behavior.

I am an advocate of crate training-make sure her collar is off when she's in the crate. It isn't to keep her in all the time, just some times. Lots of info if you google: crate training for a puppy.

Also, sign up for an obedience class, or a private trainer can come to your home. We hired a private trainer for 90 mins.,, we went to her and she did wonders with our Smooch, who was 18 mos. old when we adopted her and was "out of control and jumped, etc."

*One of the tips our trainer gave us was this-take an empty plastic bottle of Diet Coke or Coke and fill it 1/4 of the way with pennies.
When the dog jumps, give it a sharp shake/shakes - this distracts them from the jumping. It has worked wonders with Smooch who always tried to jump on people when they came into our house.*


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

LizShort said:


> Here are my two cents... for what they are worth (considering it's only two cents, LOL)
> 
> Get a back pack. Fill it with water bottles. Cover it in bitter apple spray and then get out there and walk like you are trying to get away from something that may eat you if it notices you. Don't stop for ANYTHING!!! No peepee breaks, no poop breaks, NOTHING. When you get to your half way point, allow for a quick sniff and a pee or poop. The go again with out stopping. If she decides she doesn't like this walk, too bad. You are on a mission and taht mission is to wear her baby butt out.


Are the water bottles empty or full? Why water bottles?

Thanks


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## lovemeagolden (Oct 18, 2009)

You are not alone!! I don't have any advise, but my Payton is the same way. I did get a Halti harness, but I've only taken her on 2 walks with it. She does everything she can to get it off, but it has slowed her down. My problem is since she's such a puller, my son doesn't like to take her for walks, and don't even ask the DH! So it's just me and I don't always have the energy when I get home after working 9-10 hr days! All I can say is everyone says it's a phase, so I'm going to do what I can and hopefully the phase will end soon! Good luck and keep us posted.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Karen519 said:


> Hang in there-this too shall pass.
> She is exhibiting puppy behavior.
> 
> I am an advocate of crate training-make sure her collar is off when she's in the crate. It isn't to keep her in all the time, just some times. Lots of info if you google: crate training for a puppy.
> ...


We have a crate but I rarely use it anymore and put her instead of this in a dedicated space in front our front door where she can't do any harm and this way we both can cool off.
We go every week to Obedience class since she's 3 months old and from time to time she has a session with a private trainer, he especially helped with her pulling and we are working on other minor puppy issues. We also tried the can and this only affected her the first few times after that when I used the can it only made her wilder.

This afternoon I brought her to doggy daycare and she's staying the night and can play another day tomorrow....it's a nice break for me and for sure some fun play time for her.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Olympia said:


> Have you tried a halti leash? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyUrTP3XLp4


No, but I may try it. I will talk to our trainer this week about it and see what he recommends.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

LizShort said:


> Here are my two cents... for what they are worth (considering it's only two cents, LOL)
> 
> Get a back pack. Fill it with water bottles. Cover it in bitter apple spray and then get out there and walk like you are trying to get away from something that may eat you if it notices you. Don't stop for ANYTHING!!! No peepee breaks, no poop breaks, NOTHING. When you get to your half way point, allow for a quick sniff and a pee or poop. The go again with out stopping. If she decides she doesn't like this walk, too bad. You are on a mission and taht mission is to wear her baby butt out.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately I can't really go that fast with her as I have almost all the time (95% of the time) my toddler in the stroller with me and sometimes I just have to stop because of him (dropping things or other things). We also have many little intersections so I have to watch for any traffic as well.

I got a lot of good advice here on the forum and I try to get some more exercise in and hopefully can organize more play dates for her. And hopefully she will outgrow this phase!


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

What helped us with Gunner was retrieve, retrieve , retrieve.
But he was not hyper at all which I think really goes back to breeding (but I know that doesn't help you now). But is good to know for information.
Breeding is very important when it comes to all kinds of behavior issues, I truly believe this. Even though there are many here who relate and think this type of behavior is "normal" for a golden puppy. It may be becoming the norm but really shouldn't be.
All my goldens (5) have been easy to train, calm, didn't chew or bite and always were around children. This goes for my daughter's goldens also who have been raised around their kids from birth to the oldest who is 8.
Good Luck. patience and keeping the dog well exercised &trained.


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## New Golden Mom (Dec 17, 2008)

We used a Gentle Leader with Rufus and it worked really well. I had control over him and he learned to walk properly without me tugging at his neck and pulling my arms out of their sockets. Adolesence is crazy but you can work through these issues....hang in there!


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## Rhapsody in Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

A couple of ideas that may work in this case -

You cannot take him for a walk with your little one. It is dangerous. The day will come when he pulls to catch a squirrel or greet another dog and what will you let go of? The leash or your child? 

Given this, is there a time when someone else is home to stay with your child? If you could walk him really early in the morning, you will see a difference. I have noticed that if I walk my dogs from 5A to 6A (i.e. before the sun comes up), they are very mellow. I can hear the groans out there : ) but truly, it is a great time to walk - especially if you have a very active puppy. I think it has something to do with the early morning air, the birds chirping, and the peacefulness. And by getting a move on earlier, he won't be as pent up. 

You have also got to find a way to let him just run like the wind. Give him 20 minutes a few times a week running freely, and all that energy can then be released. I know he is a puppy so you have to be careful. See what the options are. I have used the dog parks before anyone else gets there. I have used baseball fields and prayed I didn't get in trouble for that and I have used other peaceful places that are not near traffic, water, mud, and coyotes. 

I feel bad for you - because you have a lot of responsibilty with your little one. Training a puppy is so physical and demanding - but it can be done. If you can just have a little success, I think it would make a world of difference to you, wouldn't it? This is called experience - and you are getting a lot of experience with this pup. That is a good thing : )


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## Minnesota Rosie (Jul 28, 2009)

Too bad we don't live near each other...I have son who is 3 1/2 and my Rosie is about the same age as your Bailey. I used to take my son with me every time I walked Rosie. I can't do that anymore, because there is too much snow on the ground to push the stroller. My son actually prefers to walk rather than ride in the stroller, but he is so slow that it's not really much of a workout for Rosie. Anyway, now I usually walk Rosie in the morning before my husband goes to work, and in the evening after he gets home. 

I guess I don't have too much advice for you, but it sounds to me like you're doing your best. Bailey is lucky to have such a dedicated owner, and I'm sure it will pay off in the long run.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Minnesota Rosie said:


> Too bad we don't live near each other...I have son who is 3 1/2 and my Rosie is about the same age as your Bailey. I used to take my son with me every time I walked Rosie. I can't do that anymore, because there is too much snow on the ground to push the stroller. My son actually prefers to walk rather than ride in the stroller, but he is so slow that it's not really much of a workout for Rosie. Anyway, now I usually walk Rosie in the morning before my husband goes to work, and in the evening after he gets home.
> 
> I guess I don't have too much advice for you, but it sounds to me like you're doing your best. Bailey is lucky to have such a dedicated owner, and I'm sure it will pay off in the long run.


Yes, it would be nice having some other moms with same age Goldens and kids close by.
You are lucky that your son walks with you or is even slow... My son is the opposite, I have to put him in the stroller as he would just run off. My son doesn't know how to walk.. he just runs and runs and it drives me crazy, as it is so dangerous. I can never go out with him without wearing running shoes, because many times I have to run after him and catch him. 

Unfortunately I am not able to go for walks early in the morning (due to my son) and sometimes I can go without him in the evening. But usually she's a lot more difficult when I walk her alone. When I am with my son in the stroller she may jump up 1-2 times and nip, but not as bad as when we are alone on our walk.

I keep working with her and I am sure she can get out some energy tomorrow all day at the doggy daycare. I try to get her regularly there, but it's not so cheap... and I just hope she will get better with her mouthing (at home and on walks).


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Marty's Mom said:


> A couple of ideas that may work in this case -
> 
> You cannot take him for a walk with your little one. It is dangerous. The day will come when he pulls to catch a squirrel or greet another dog and what will you let go of? The leash or your child?
> 
> ...


 
I don't really have the option to leave my child at home or with someone else and he's usually in the stroller and it's mostly flat, so nothing would happen to him if I let go the stroller.
I may try the dog park and I am looking also for someone to have play dates with the dogs.


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## NuttinButGoldens (Jan 10, 2009)

Hang in there. It really is all normal 



iamswiss said:


> Ah, tonight I have one of these moments I really doubt the decision was right to get a Golden Retriever puppy. Bailey is 8 months old and a very active and excitable dog. She wants to play with all dogs she sees and wants to greet and jump up on any person we meet. She's not by any means agressive more playful.
> It's very difficult for me to keep my son and her separated almost all the time because she would knock him over or mouth him... unfortunately she still is very mouthy.
> I just came home from a walk and it was so frustrating for me. She always used to jump up on me and tried to bite me several times on our walks... the last 2 months it really got better and she does it maybe one time (2-3 jumps in a row) but tonight she just was totally into it and I felt attacked. I just couldn't control her and I was standing on the chain leash and she still tried to bite my pants. I got the chain leash a few weeks back because it really helped as she can't play bite it like the regular leash. But I hate when she has this attacks on me, as it really hurts and she jumps and tries to bite my arms, back just whatever she can grasp.
> We go every week to Obedience Classes and she's otherwise a very sweet dog and very obedient, but this out of control phases are really not fun and I feel stupid beging attacked by my own dog.
> ...


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## EvilNessCroft (Feb 17, 2009)

OMG! I know how you feel. Molly went through the same thing. She was jumping on me non stop and she was out of control! It was horrible! It lasted a while but I'm glad to say she doesn't do it anymore. Everytime she used to jump I shorted up her leash and kept on walking, ignoring her. When she finally stopped the jumping and started to walk I gave her the 'sit' or 'down' command and waited for her to be TOTALLY calm. Then we continued our walk. Oh and before her walks, I always take her into the yard and let her run and play fetch! It really helps!

Don't give up! Hang in there, (hard to believe, but) it will get better! :wave:


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## LizShort (May 19, 2009)

Sunrise said:


> Are the water bottles empty or full? Why water bottles?
> 
> Thanks


Water bottles are full and inexpensive  That's the only reason I said water bottles. Any type of plastic bottle that will fit in the pack and carry weight (sand, water, ice, what ever) that will ask your pup to carry more weight will cause him/her to tire out more quickly. LOVE this. A tired Jake is a happy Jake. A happy Jake, makes for a more comfortable and happier me. Not to mention a physically tired Jake makes it easier to train him.


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## RedDogs (Jan 30, 2010)

Note: Dogparks can be great. Be sure to go a time or two without your pup to observe. Read up on dog body language so know when there's trouble. Small kids should not go into a dog park and are not allowed in many locations to do so.


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## Ranger (Nov 11, 2009)

Maybe try more mental exercises to tire her out. I found the problem with adding more and more exercise is that eventually the dog gets conditioned to it and then people add more walks/runs to tire the dog out and it gets into a vicious circle. 

Try upping the amount of time on obedience training (I usually try to get an hour in a day, broken up in 20 min sessions but you might have to do 10 min sessions depending on how mentally mature your pup is). Or try "umbilical cord"ing her to you while you do chores in or around the house. If my dog's being crazy at night and we've already done our walks for the day, he gets attached to me while I clean the house. After about 40 mins, I can unleash him and he's so tired he goes to bed. 

The focus/concentration they need to use when they're attached to you or doing obedience really tires them out mentally (which turns into physically tired) - more so than just walking. It sounds like your dog's physical needs are being met with the long walks, so try making her use her mental batteries a little more. Goldens are smart dogs and they need mental "challenges" just as much as they need physical exercise.


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## PC Mom (Oct 30, 2009)

Well, this is a depressing board for me to read. I have a 2.5 year old and a 4.5 year old and we are getting a puppy soon. Sigh. I'll be in your shoes soon.

A couple of thoughts: Have you read "My smart puppy"? It's a great book that puts discipline in kind of a game format which makes it more fun for adults, while teaching the dog good stuff too. I've used it for fosters and it's fun, especially for those who are, uh, challenging. Plus it gives them the mental stimulation they need to be challenged. 

Also, if you can't find a friend who can walk your dog, can you find someone to watch your son for a playdate type of thing? Ideally, if there is a dog park in an actual park then the kids could play while you run your dog to the dog park for a while. That's a win, win-tired dog and tired kid!

What do you give her to alleviate her chewing? Some people use bully sticks or antlers to give that chewing and mouthiness an outlet. I would also use the Kong with kibble and other "work for it" kind of treat/toys to give that smart little mind something to do. 

You haven't mentioned a partner, so I'm assuming that's not an option, but can you get out for a while with some friends (no kids, no dogs)? Even if it's to the gym or a even better, girls night, sometimes you just need to get away to be a better mom. 

I know what it's like to have a bad day and think it's never going to end, but it will. ((HUGS!!))


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Hah, I had my share of troubles when Flora was a puppy. There was more than one occasion where I would find myself crying and literally saying out loud, "Why did I get a puppy??!" but... a year later, I'm already wishing I had another puppy to take care of. God knows WHY, but it's an incredible experience, and take it with a grain of salt - your puppy will be a dog soon, it will all get better, I promise.


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

"A couple of thoughts: Have you read "My smart puppy"? It's a great book that puts discipline in kind of a game format which makes it more fun for adults, while teaching the dog good stuff too. I've used it for fosters and it's fun, especially for those who are, uh, challenging. Plus it gives them the mental stimulation they need to be challenged. "

I'm so glad to have found this post! Thank you for the great idea for the book! I just called Barnes and Noble and they have it with the DVD! I will be picking it up today! I have an 11(will be 12 tomorrow)week old named Maggie and we've have her going on four weeks Saturday. I am filled with so much love for her. She really has brought me so much joy. I know she is a puppy and still learning about rules and such. It is so much hard work. I put blood sweat and tears and a lot of patience into finding her. I'm still trying to figure out if she is the "love me, love me, love me," type mentioned on this forum, or the "love you, love you, love you." Sometimes I think she is the alpha personality mentioned also. She has her so very sweet loving moments of kisses and calm and then she has her periods of rambunciousness and a crazy creature resembling that of attack dog with the biting! I won't give up on her, but want to nip this in the bud so to speak. I have learned that getting a puppy in the Winter is other than ideal! I'm just hopeful that by Spring, improvement in behavior is in our future. Today, I let her run in the back yard and get all wet in the rain and muddy, just to get it out of her system. 
I love her so much and am making great sacrifices for her. I want this to work so badly. I have never had a golden retriever before, but I've trained boxers and a cocker spaniel in obediance. Times have changed since then, but this puppy is making things very challenging, to say the least! There's always hope.


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## iamswiss (Aug 6, 2009)

Thanks for the suggestion of the book, I will look into it.

My son is a handful and I couldn't leave him with another friend and her kid.... he's a very fast runner and sometimes just runs to places (streets) he shouldn't.. I just wouldn't feel comfortable to let him with someone who has to watch one ore more children additionally. I hope he will get out of this phase of constant running... it's driving me nuts.

The last two weeks Bailey is doing better on walks, I had even a few walks with her without any jumping...yeah! She's still very mouthy at home, and when she wants to play she comes with the ball in her mouth and starts to bite my leg or feet to get my attention. I hope that she will stop with this mouthing...We allow her in the living room only at night (during the day all the toys of our 3 1/2 year old are laying around) and if she gets mouthy I take her by the collar and put her in her area. Sometimes after a few minutes I let her in again and if she starts again, back to her bed...it takes often a few tries until she can stay calmly in the living room.

She gets regularly bully sticks, other lasting sticks and kongs filled with peanut butter. We also bought Antlers, but she doesn't care for it.

My husband is very busy with work, that's why I take care of our boy and Bailey most days. And belive me, I didn't expect it to be that intense. I don't think I would recommend anybody getting a large breed puppy with a toddler... well, at least not with my Bailey... But we have her and lover her and keep the training and exercise up with her and hope for the best, as many stated it will get better!



PC Mom said:


> Well, this is a depressing board for me to read. I have a 2.5 year old and a 4.5 year old and we are getting a puppy soon. Sigh. I'll be in your shoes soon.
> 
> A couple of thoughts: Have you read "My smart puppy"? It's a great book that puts discipline in kind of a game format which makes it more fun for adults, while teaching the dog good stuff too. I've used it for fosters and it's fun, especially for those who are, uh, challenging. Plus it gives them the mental stimulation they need to be challenged.
> 
> ...


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Brady was like this to my children for the first 2 1/2 years. He treated my children like littermates. Other than that, he was perfect in every other way. He had learned to not play that way with my husband from day one. With me, it was probably up until he was six months old. With the kids, I know their body language and their screams just encouraged him. I am told the pitch of a woman's voice will sometimes do the same.

Most of the time I noticed it would happen when he needed a nap (like a little baby), so if he started up, in the crate for a nap. The thing that worked temporarily, or at the moment was shaking a soda can with about 10 pennies in it, and another was this spray bottle that blows air (I bought it at the pet store). The sound would stop him - I also noticed that if I made the same sound with my mouth (PSSST) it worked better than screaming "NO". Or when I would just shove a bone in his mouth to chew.

Nothing broke him of the habit though (ignoring, turning your back). Nothing worked until we got another puppy about 5 months ago. He is now VERY calm around my kids from the DAY MacKenzie came into our house. The two dogs have many wrestle sessions throughout the day.

I think some goldens are just "mouthier" than others. My new puppy has never once tried to play with any of us with her mouth. If she has an urge to chew,which is quite a few hours a day, she knows to go into her toy box and grab a bone or two.

Do you have any friends who have dogs that can have a play date at your house?

Or a friend of mine quite often borrows her neighbor's golden to take for walks, it is a win-win situation for both families. This is a very active dog too, that probably walks miles a day. Maybe you have a neighbor or a college student nearby that at this time wants a dog but can't have one, take the dog to the dog park.


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