# Be Nice!



## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

"But then as soon as the Boston Terrier/Boxer mix playfully pounced on her, she went at him. "

Why should Mercy accept being pounced on by a dog she doesn't even know? 

She shouldn't have been put in that position at all. It is after all your job as her owner to protect her so she doesn't have to let another dog know that what they did/are doing is inappropriate. It is one thing to set up training senerios with dogs you know are friendly or actually have her working but to just let any old john q public dog you don't know actually pounce on her teaches her she has to defend herself and is teaching her not to trust you so that even when she is working she will feel the need to protect herself.

Don't put her in unknown situations you are risking all you have worked toward. If you want her to be friendly near other dogs for therapy work don't put her at risk just out and about. When people say their dog is friendly doesn't really mean much. 

I want you and Mercy to succeed. Don't place her in unknown or risky situations.

If someone you don't know walked up to you and started grabbing your cheeks and jumping around would you just accept it? Or would you first ask them to not do it and if they didn't stop try to protect yourself?


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## Nairb (Feb 25, 2012)

I don't allow Bella to interact with strange dogs I encounter on walks, period. I'm certain a couple people think I'm rude, but too bad. I told one guy who's dog was running wild, that he better keep his dog away, because my dog bites, even though she doesn't. I've given others the big stop sign with my hand. I don't care.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I hear what you're saying. The last thing I want to do is put Mercy in a situation where she feels insecure and needs to defend herself. I will have to not trust other dogs. The last thing I want to do is set her up for failure. Please believe that. Most dogs have better manners than that. Also most Goldens are usually more patient than that. She was picked on at the dog park, and I no longer go for that reason. She probably would not be so sensitive to other dogs' bad manners if she had not had those experiences, since her reactions I feel are a little extreme. You don't think I really mean to purposely put Mercy in bad situations do you? That is definitely not my objective! I will have to really have my guard up and take more precautions like never before! I can do better, but I need people to believe in me. Please.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Nairb said:


> I don't allow Bella to interact with strange dogs I encounter on walks, period. I'm certain a couple people think I'm rude, but too bad. I told one guy who's dog was running wild, that he better keep his dog away, because my dog bites, even though she doesn't. I've given others the big stop sign with my hand. I don't care.


Okaaay! Sounds like grumpiness is the best policy! Sounds like a great way to go!


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## Nairb (Feb 25, 2012)

MercyMom said:


> Okaaay! Sounds like grumpiness is the best policy! Yes, I can be grumpy too.


The safety of my dog is more important to me than what some stranger with an untrained dog thinks.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

No I do not think you would purposely do anything to harm your Mercy. We all make mistakes. But since you have such high hopes and ambitions for you two it is really important that you don't put her in those situations. You can't trust other people to really even know how well trained their dog is or isn't unless you know them and their dog already. You need to be Mercy's advocate and protector. Don't risk all the work you two have already accomplished and don't risk both of your futures in the work you want to do.

As I said I want you and Mercy to succeed.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

You can always just tell people Mercy cannot socialize at this time she is in training.  Practice saying it with confidence and strength so when you come up to the situation you are prepared.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

solinvictus said:


> No I do not think you would purposely do anything to harm your Mercy. We all make mistakes. But since you have such high hopes and ambitions for you two it is really important that you don't put her in those situations. You can't trust other people to really even know how well trained their dog is or isn't unless you know them and their dog already. You need to be Mercy's advocate and protector. Don't risk all the work you two have already accomplished and don't risk both of your futures in the work you want to do.
> 
> As I said I want you and Mercy to succeed.


Thanks man!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I just wanted to say that I usually cross the street when I see another dog coming towards me. When walking in my neighborhood, I steer clear of other dogs for the most part since I don't trust that they will get along.


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## LUCKYme (Mar 29, 2015)

*I hear your struggle loud and clear!*

I am right there with you! My golden boy is quite the trouble maker and VERY quick to respond to other dogs who even look at him sideways. Lucky is a therapy dog and works very well (when working). Like your dog Lucky was picked on, well actually attacked by another dog. Unfortunately due to the aggression of the other dog we were not able to work through the tension which I always recommend. What I have found that has helped recently is when we are out and about, if I see another dog I calmly pull Lucky to the side, ask him to sit and stay. When the other dog passes I use the leave it command. This allows him space for comfort and safety but also he still gets the exposure he needs to other dogs. Avoidance is never the answer, but you have to find a safe way to expose without putting your dog in a fight or flight situation. Usually that means mental distraction and a safe distance


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

Not trying to be hard on you here. But you mentioned a trainer who was picking apart what you were doing wrong...maybe you should have listened a bit more about what he/she thought you were doing wrong rather than praising the nice pleasant one you liked...It sounds like you need some training and not so much your dog. Again I'm not trying to be harsh but 95 percent of 'Dog issues' are really human issues.


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

At my puppy training class, we were advised not to have our dogs interact with other dogs while they are on leads. I absolutely agree with this-- leashes can get tangled, people don't know their dogs as well as they think they do sometimes, dogs can pass on illnesses, etc. 

My puppy seems pretty happy with this arrangement. While he would love to interact more with dogs on walks, he does benefit from at least seeing them on our walks-- while he sits (eventually!) away from them (on the grass) as they pass by. Each time he sees a dog and has a positive interaction this way, even while it's not up close, I feel I am adding more to his "this is OK" feelings. I just try to make sure the leash doesn't feel tense in any way.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

I've never made my dogs sit and wait for other dogs to pass by, not really sure what that teaches them. I do try and teach them to not pay attention to them when walking by which has paid off as far as it's not only works on walks but most anywhere else, I think it helps to keep them calmer in those situations. But then I have always had a pack of dogs (anywhere from 2 to 4 at any given time) so they have playmates along with their humans and they have never had any issues socializing with other dogs, which isn't very often.

There are also different degrees to walking past or an off leashed dog. You can usually tell what the other dog is about to do by their posture. 
hops down on front paws..tail wagging is a good sign
scruff up pulling toward you...bad sign
tail down cringing..bad sign
here's some illustrations...here


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

Test-ok said:


> I've never made my dogs sit and wait for other dogs to pass by, not really sure what that teaches them. I do try and teach them to not pay attention to them when walking by which has paid off as far as it's not only works on walks but most anywhere else, I think it helps to keep them calmer in those situations. But then I have always had a pack of dogs (anywhere from 2 to 4 at any given time) so they have playmates along with their humans and they have never had any issues socializing with other dogs, which isn't very often.
> 
> http://moderndogmagazine.com/articles/how-read-your-dogs-body-language/415


Sitting on the side for a dog to pass by is very different than having a dog pass right beside us on a sidewalk. The distance means a lot! I absolutely would not be able to control my dog if he were right by another dog on a leash. Also, going off to the side is a signal to the owner of the other dog that we are not up for socializing. I almost always have a child with me (usually my 3 year old) in a stroller and have to be focused on both my puppy and child-- I know this is not typical for posters here.

And what does the dog learn? In my case, my dog is learning to be calm at a certain distance around other dogs. As time goes on, with training, etc. then we can lessen the distance. My hope is that we can go to a vet's office with other dogs and he will remain calm. That did not happen today . . .at a certain distance in the office, he was fine, but too close and he was too excited!


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## wiznsox (Dec 11, 2007)

Our girl would leap and lunge at any dog before her training. It was easier for us to restrict her interaction with other dogs when we walked her, by either taking the long way around or changing direction. Easier for her and easier and less painful for us. There are a multitude of smells and behaviors out there, it's better to be safe than sorry, we learnt the hard way, with surgeries and stitches required. Once training started, we were better equipped to handle most of the meet and greet situations. Not all owners are responsible owners, some just think it is fine to let their dogs run wild, sorry after the fact, doesn't cut it, especially when there are times when a Vet is required. Also we tried 2 different trainers before we could agree how we wanted to proceed, it has to work both ways and it still has to be fun, for you and your girl.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

You keep tossing in a child..lol which changes the scenario, well for me it does. You have to protect your dog and you small child.
I don't know if I could train my dog with a child in the mix.
Without a child I would always get inbetween my dog and the passing dog...on or off leash. An aggressive dog would never make it to my dog, but then I have a good idea about the other dog by it's posture and I also have a stun cane, have never had to use it but it a good tool to have. IMO Granted I don't walk far for training purposes but the human race has a bunch of idiots who let their dogs out and roam, and others who don't have any control when walking on or off leash along with idiots that think it everyone else problem but theirs. 

When you have your dog on a leash at say the vets and he gets excited when getting to close..do you rain him in and make him site to get back into a calm submissive state? Which would be how I'd do it, which again falls under not paying attention to other dogs..And it's not as easy as it sounds when working with a puppy, but they will learn with repetition.


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## LUCKYme (Mar 29, 2015)

Test-ok said:


> I've never made my dogs sit and wait for other dogs to pass by, not really sure what that teaches them.


Just to clarify, what this teaches them is to not react. But first you teach them, just like babies, to sit before they walk, and to walk before they run. Anytime you are walking a dog there mind is moving forward, movement = energy. Take the energy out of the picture by first teaching your dog not to reach while sitting or when in a relaxed state of mind. Once you see no reaction you can start walking and ask for the same response. Its just baby steps. When ever you have issues with your dog you need to break it down and take away as many obstacles as possible to ensure their success. But different strokes for different folks. There is no one right way and every dog/ animal is different. The key to training is consistency in whatever method you use. And kindness of course, after all you are a team.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

MercyMom, I think you are being too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes and that is 'okay'. Consider that Mercy had had a hard day, socializing with strange dogs and people is stressful for them, and she encountered just one too many, unfortunately, slightly rude dog. Mercy couldn't tell you 'I am tired, had 'enough', I just want to go home.' and she got a little cranky. 
The next time you are out and about, pay close attention to how Mercy is feeling, does she seem happy and relaxed? or is she getting stressed and overwhelmed and needs a break, or to go home? Ensure that you are giving her a 'break' every so often, a chance to just relax and 'chill' away from the commotion. Understand that even though you may want to stay and socialize a little longer, I know it is tough when we are having a good time, but for Mercy's sake, consider that it may be time to go home.

Sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job with Mercy! Keep it up!


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

I have never believed that letting my Golden's interact with dogs that are not in their 'pack' (our other dogs at home), makes much since. Dogs are pack animals and as they form their pack, which includes us, our kids, and any other dogs we have living with us. That is it! Other dogs, and to some degree, other people bring nothing of interest to the table, so to speak. So why risk it? I avoid letting them nose or have contact with other dogs....and guess what, I have never had any problems with any of our dogs getting 'into it' with other dogs.


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## thomas&betts (May 13, 2014)

Please take this with a grain of salt, as it is just a random thought about my Goldens past behavior's and how Mercy acts around some dogs. He may just be overly protective of you when dogs he doesn't trust approach. I don't ever recall with my old Bo or with Grace ever crossing the street to avoid a confrontation. I would occasionally make Bo or Grace sit and wait for the other owner to pass, while I cautiously watch for agressive tendencies in the visiting dog. Guess what I'm suggesting is to trust Mercy while continuing to show confidence as his pack leader.


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## Tosh's Legacy (Oct 2, 2013)

I guess it all depends upon what works for you. Each dog seems to be a new learning experience for me, and after 30 years of owning Goldens, it seems I am still learning new things: some on my own, and some from people on this forum.

My Wrigley and Roxi have a tendency to be very curious about other dogs and want pull towards them, especially if the other dog is on a Flexi-Leash. (And you never know how much "training" the other owner has had) To avoid a bad
interaction, I always make them sit and be still until the other dog passes. That has
worked well for me and they have calmed down considerably in these situations.
When I was younger and stronger, I would walk right by the other dog with my dogs
on a short leash. Then, if anything happened, I was strong enough to handle it. Now,
I do not have that strength and have found this as a workable solution.

(Now if I could get those irresponsible owners with mini-dogs to quit letting their precious things run loose and chase us, life would be perfect ...)


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## Lilliam (Apr 28, 2010)

Yesterday I took Emma to Petsmart because she's now got her shots. 
While I was there I did not allow any adult dogs near her at all. There was a woman there with a dog who was leaning forward, head down, hard stare, tail straight up, and the owner had him at the end of his leash, being pulled, moving towards Emma. He clearly thought she was lunch. 
I looked at the owner and said I didn't allow adult dogs near her.
She gave me the DIRTIEST look.
I could care less.


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

Test-ok said:


> You keep tossing in a child..lol which changes the scenario, well for me it does. You have to protect your dog and you small child.
> I don't know if I could train my dog with a child in the mix.
> Without a child I would always get inbetween my dog and the passing dog...on or off leash. An aggressive dog would never make it to my dog, but then I have a good idea about the other dog by it's posture and I also have a stun cane, have never had to use it but it a good tool to have. IMO Granted I don't walk far for training purposes but the human race has a bunch of idiots who let their dogs out and roam, and others who don't have any control when walking on or off leash along with idiots that think it everyone else problem but theirs.
> 
> When you have your dog on a leash at say the vets and he gets excited when getting to close..do you rain him in and make him site to get back into a calm submissive state? Which would be how I'd do it, which again falls under not paying attention to other dogs..And it's not as easy as it sounds when working with a puppy, but they will learn with repetition.


I have no choice re: training dog with a child, except not to have a dog, haha! 

Today we were out on a pretty busy walking/running/biking path, but I only had one of my children with me who is older and on her bike, so no stroller to worry about. This was only our 2nd time out on the path. The first time, some of my KIDS were being obnoxious (!) because they were overtired . . .don't know why I thought a walk was a good thing, but I digress. 

Anyway, so what happened today was that we walked along the path but not on it. This gave us some distance from the action of people and dogs. Initially, when people came running by, my dog would quickly leap up and want attention from them. I would put him into a sit and treat him. His response time got faster and faster. Pretty soon, he would see people coming, and then turn back to me for his treat. By the end of the walk, we were able to walk closer-- just about on the path- to the action, with him being able to remain calm with all the people running and bikes. I am sure we will have to start over again each time, but this is reinforcing being calm.

With dogs, we are doing the same thing. He should be watching ME, and not other dogs when we are out. I don't care if he checks them out, but he should then not be putting all of his energy into them-- his focus should still be going back to me within a short period of time. 

It's annoying, though, when I am working on that and people allow their not trained dogs to pull them over to my dog. I just tell them that my dog is too much puppy.

I personally think it is very good dog manners for a dog not to approach another dog unless BOTH owners agree (because they are 100% sure their dogs would agree). So, for Mercy, if she is able to pass another dog without issue-- not meaning to put up with another dog bothering her-- then this is a good thing. Of course, it is ideal for our dogs to give us a little leeway in getting the other dog away if there is an issue, but I think the more times the dog experiences no dog coming up to them, the better. If another dog bothers my dog, negative dog experiences are being reinforced. 

As for the vet, I have no idea how to put him into a calm, submissive state. He is very, very good out on walks (for now at least-- maybe terrible when he is older) with giving me eye contact, sitting, going into down, etc. but at the vet's, no matter the treats I brought, what was reinforcing to him was the other dogs.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I agree with the comment that Mercy was perfectly right to not like being pounced on. The other dog was being rude, she told him off. If a person you didn't know pounced on you, you would tell them off too. As long as she is not starting the spats, and only responding to rude dogs, I don't think you should be concerned.

One thing you need to keep in mind is that when you are going on therapy visits if there is more than one dog present they are expected to ignore each other, NOT interact. If your goal is to be certified and do therapy dog work, I think you would do best to just continue on your way when you encounter other dogs and do not stop and let Mercy visit with strange dogs. Find ways to teach her to not react, and just ignore other dogs.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

MercyMom said:


> I hear what you're saying. The last thing I want to do is put Mercy in a situation where she feels insecure and needs to defend herself. I will have to not trust other dogs. The last thing I want to do is set her up for failure. Please believe that. Most dogs have better manners than that. Also *most Goldens are usually more patient than that. *She was picked on at the dog park, and I no longer go for that reason. She probably would not be so sensitive to other dogs' bad manners if she had not had those experiences, since her reactions I feel are a little extreme. You don't think I really mean to purposely put Mercy in bad situations do you? That is definitely not my objective! I will have to really have my guard up and take more precautions like never before! I can do better, but I need people to believe in me. Please.



Mercy isn't most Goldens, she's Mercy. This is not a criticism, it's an observation, so please don't get upset - I've noticed that you will often very easily forgive the limitations and mistakes of others, but when it's something you've done, or something Mercy has done, you have a hard time forgiving yourself, or excusing yourself. You titled this thread "be kind" and I think that's what you need to do - be kinder to yourself. 

You and Mercy have done wonderful things together. One little stone on the track won't derail the train. Take what everyone has told you and consider it, then move past this.

One last thing - were you out for a walk for exercise or just to potty? I ask because Max and I did an event with our therapy group yesterday, and after two hours, he was tired out. We didn't do our normal walk - he was in no need of more exercise than running about the field at home. Mercy may just have been over-tired and in no mood for a little dog to jump on her.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Anele said:


> I have no choice re: training dog with a child, except not to have a dog, haha!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



This is almost exactly what I did to train Max to ignore other dogs at the park. It took a few months to really make it rock solid, and he still wants to greet other Goldens, but it does work. I just wanted to encourage you to keep on doing what you're doing. 

Now if we can get those people on their bikes who zoom past us with no warning to just give a holler BEFORE they zoom by, it would be great!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

LUCKYme said:


> I am right there with you! My golden boy is quite the trouble maker and VERY quick to respond to other dogs who even look at him sideways. Lucky is a therapy dog and works very well (when working). Like your dog Lucky was picked on, well actually attacked by another dog. Unfortunately due to the aggression of the other dog we were not able to work through the tension which I always recommend. What I have found that has helped recently is when we are out and about, if I see another dog I calmly pull Lucky to the side, ask him to sit and stay. When the other dog passes I use the leave it command. This allows him space for comfort and safety but also he still gets the exposure he needs to other dogs. Avoidance is never the answer, but you have to find a safe way to expose without putting your dog in a fight or flight situation. Usually that means mental distraction and a safe distance


Yeah, that's a great idea. In yesterday's case I didn't have a chance to get away from the other dog, but next time I am faced with an upcoming stranger, I will put Mercy in a sit stay. Sometimes I don't always think of things that I can do, but I will do this from now on since treats and the watch me/leave it command no longer deter her from the other dog.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Test-ok said:


> Not trying to be hard on you here. But you mentioned a trainer who was picking apart what you were doing wrong...maybe you should have listened a bit more about what he/she thought you were doing wrong rather than praising the nice pleasant one you liked...It sounds like you need some training and not so much your dog. Again I'm not trying to be harsh but 95 percent of 'Dog issues' are really human issues.


I'm talking about in general. That is one thing I should have been quiet about, since it was really irrelevant. Yes, I agree with the human error. I feel the same shame when my dog does something I don't like as I would if my human child did something, because I am really more angry at myself. Like my child, I see Mercy as an extension of myself. If I am still not meeting the standards I have set out for myself and my dog, I tend to blame myself, yet still hope others will have patience and grace with me, so that I can forgive myself also. I just so badly want to overcome my weaknesses that it discourages me whenever I fail to do so.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Anele said:


> At my puppy training class, we were advised not to have our dogs interact with other dogs while they are on leads. I absolutely agree with this-- leashes can get tangled, people don't know their dogs as well as they think they do sometimes, dogs can pass on illnesses, etc.
> 
> My puppy seems pretty happy with this arrangement. While he would love to interact more with dogs on walks, he does benefit from at least seeing them on our walks-- while he sits (eventually!) away from them (on the grass) as they pass by. Each time he sees a dog and has a positive interaction this way, even while it's not up close, I feel I am adding more to his "this is OK" feelings. I just try to make sure the leash doesn't feel tense in any way.


I agree with this. I don't think dogs should play while on leashes because of things like this. If they do meet on leash, it should just be to sniff each other. Believe me, I was not in the mood for meeting another dog yesterday. I was trying to hurry home to relax for the evening.


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## Susan: w/ Summit we climb (Jun 12, 2014)

We have our dogs sit to let people pass by because many of the people we encounter are afraid of large dogs. We want them to know that our dogs are under control.

Can I ask, at what age do dogs tend to begin to have unfriendly feelings when they are approached by other dogs? So far, my dogs are like happy fools who just want to say hi to everyone, but we don't go near other dogs.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Tosh's Legacy said:


> I guess it all depends upon what works for you. Each dog seems to be a new learning experience for me, and after 30 years of owning Goldens, it seems I am still learning new things: some on my own, and some from people on this forum.
> 
> My Wrigley and Roxi have a tendency to be very curious about other dogs and want pull towards them, especially if the other dog is on a Flexi-Leash. (And you never know how much "training" the other owner has had) To avoid a bad
> interaction, I always make them sit and be still until the other dog passes. That has
> ...


 There are some people in my neighborhood who have their Chihuahuas running loose and sometimes they come up to Mercy's heels barking and it's so annoying!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

mylissyk said:


> I agree with the comment that Mercy was perfectly right to not like being pounced on. The other dog was being rude, she told him off. If a person you didn't know pounced on you, you would tell them off too. As long as she is not starting the spats, and only responding to rude dogs, I don't think you should be concerned.
> 
> One thing you need to keep in mind is that when you are going on therapy visits if there is more than one dog present they are expected to ignore each other, NOT interact. If your goal is to be certified and do therapy dog work, I think you would do best to just continue on your way when you encounter other dogs and do not stop and let Mercy visit with strange dogs. Find ways to teach her to not react, and just ignore other dogs.


Yes, I agree with you. I am concerned about Mercy starting spats, but it seems to only happen when I start to pull her away from the other dog she's sniffing with. Of course I don't ever want her to interact with other dogs at the therapy visits. Therapy Dogs Inc. has a two foot rule, and I think it's an excellent policy. It is always a risk when I allow her to sniff other dogs because if I tug on her leash to tell her it's time to move on while the dog is still just sniffing, she might charge. However if the leash is taught as long as the other dogs behaves she is fine. When I am not visiting, I still like to say hello to other Golden people at dog events or what not. Otherwise, I have my husband hold Mercy while I say hello to non Golden breeds. I try to use my judgment to discern whether the situation will be safe and trustworthy.


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## sdhgolden (Aug 13, 2012)

Lilliam said:


> Yesterday I took Emma to Petsmart because she's now got her shots.
> 
> While I was there I did not allow any adult dogs near her at all. There was a woman there with a dog who was leaning forward, head down, hard stare, tail straight up, and the owner had him at the end of his leash, being pulled, moving towards Emma. He clearly thought she was lunch.
> 
> ...



I just wanted to comment on this...people who are educated in dog training and dog behavior will never be offended if you don't want your dog to interact with theirs. This lady was clearly not educated in these areas therefore you can't feel bad for making her mad which you clearly didn't. I say good for you! I think all people need to realize this and it will make it easier to turn down potential threats to their dogs. Maybe it's just where I live but I've learned that the vast majority of people who say their dogs are friendly are either lying or seriously do not understand their dog.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

> Yes, I agree with you. I am concerned about Mercy starting spats, but it seems to only happen when I start to pull her away from the other dog she's sniffing with.


Well stop doing that! Try and redirect Mercy to pay attention to you..You're the pack leader, you need to act like one in those situations.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Test-ok said:


> Well stop doing that! Try and redirect Mercy to pay attention to you..You're the pack leader, you need to act like one in those situations.


Yes maam!


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

MercyMom - Dogs have what is called 'opposition reflex' which means that if we pull on their leash to move them away from something, they instinctively pull towards it. If/when we try to pull our dog away from visiting another dog, we risk causing our dog to appear 'threatening' to the other dog, which can, in some cases, cause the other dog to react defensively (starting a fight), so naturally Mercy is going to defend herself in that situation.
We can prevent our dogs from greeting other dogs (or people) by teaching and reinforcing the 'Leave it' cue, following it up with a 'Let's go' cue, helping them ignore the distraction, and move away from the other dog or person.
We can also teach them a 'go visit' cue, to allow them to choose to greet briefly, just a few seconds, on a loose leash, if we want our dog to greet the other dog, and then end the visit with a verbal - 'Good job! or 'All done.' Let's go' cue. However, before we allow our dog to greet another dog, we need to consider the other dog's behavior, as well as our own dog's behavior - (they make mistakes sometimes too). If either dog is pulling on the leash towards the other dog, barking, over excited ('too' happy), it is best to use your 'Leave it. Let's go' cue and move on.


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

I am not sure this would help, but I challenge myself to continually keep the leash in a loose, relaxed position. If it gets tight, I have to find a way to get it loose again. If my dog isn't paying attention to me, I don't let myself use the leash to get his eyes on me. Those are my "rules." I do things like change where I am standing, make kissy noises to my dog, call his name (this is rare unless I am 100% sure he will respond so he doesn't learn to ignore me), give the "touch" cue, etc. Over and over again, I give him positive reinforcement (treats and praise) when he returns to me. First I used the clicker, but now it's become habit for him to look at me. When I see him show interest in something, my first check is to assure the leash is loose ( no tension), then when needed,eyes back on me. It helps to think of this as a game, pure and simple.

I read that you feel ashamed when your dog or child does something wrong. I would ask you to see it neutrally instead and view it as a learning experience. We can't control people or dogs. People and dogs continually make choices, and while we set the path to help them make good ones, mistakes happen (which is how we grow), and we learn. Do what Ms. Frizzell says-- take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

*Things are looking up*

I went on a few walks with Mercy today. First, I went to my local park, where I exercised her prior to taking her to the library today. There were a couple of women walking three dogs and when I went past them, Mercy sniffed a couple of their dogs without incident. I later walker her in this historic old town where there were lots of other people with their dogs as well. The streets were narrow, so we ran into a person and his dog, a well mannered Yellow Labrador. It went pretty well and I praised Mercy profusely. I took a peek inside a embroidery store that was dog friendly and a nice old gentleman introduced his Cavelier King Charles Spaniel. Things were good all around.


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