# Our beautiful boy Hector



## Hector

I am so sad as I write this. We are devastated. We are so bitter now.
I can hardly work and I keep on walking to his park place in the mornings, and his favorite evening walk in the nights.

We got our Hector in 2006, September, from Raleigh. He flew to us while we lived in Venice Beach, CA. First contact when I picked him up was to get to know each other. In the car on the way home I was wispering his name, Hector. We lived 2 amazing years at Venice, and later drove to live in Chicago the three of us (myself, wife, Hector). A lively family altogether with our boy Hector.

Project was over and time came for us to move to Greece. We did the drive to New York so as there wouldn't be plane changes and altogether flew back home to Athens, Greece. Every summer we would go swimming to the beautiful islands. In the winters we would hike and jog the mountain. The family was a beautiful family at home and outside. We loved him more and more every day. How lucky we were. What a beautiful life he was giving us.

Now, 6 and a half years old, dead. I am so sad. I miss my best friend.


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## Bob Dylan

I am so sorry, 6 1/2 is so young!

Peace Be With You Hector.


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## Hector

At age 3 he started getting some very small reddish lumps, first at legs, then on more parts of his body. Vet said he was allergic. It got a little more and we gathered opinions from other vets too telling us it was his immune system. He lived fine, very playful, lively, great appetite, wonderful life goes on.

At age 4 he developed a small white blind spot on his eye. Vet said part of his immune system as he could not identify any bug bites or anything else. We took tests at hospital, blood and biopsy fine, no problems. Lungs clear. Wonderful life goes on.

At age 5 he developed a constant sneezing when excited. More reddish lumps on his body and once or twice swollen larger lumps which biopsy showed nothing. Wonderful life continues for the family, sharing beautiful destinations together, time at home, time with friends. 

At age 6 we had more problems of what some vets would say allergies, others said his immune is creating skin problems for him. More sneezing when excited, still tests appeared fine. Hector living a golden life together with us.


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## Barkr

I'm so sorry for your loss of Hector, when you are feeling up to it please post some pictures of your sweet boy and tell us more about him. The support here will help you to deal with your grief.


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## Hector

A month ago, he developed a large lump between his hip and right side. It grew big and soft but it smoothened out on its own. He did not seem to feel pain, and kept is energy and appetite. Immediately when it went away, on the exactly opposite side, he developed what I now know to be is a sarcoma. An ugly, large sarcoma. 

Day 1 (last Friday) we had terrible thunderstorm, rain and lightning at 4am. Hector was afraid of that and as always would come to bed. But there was something more to it. At 8am we could see he was extremely tired and weak.

Although we had developed a good (as we believed to be good) knowledge to read his body signs, this is the first time we agreed Hector is really not well. At 9am slight blood drops from his nose, Hector not moving, completely collapsed. Extreme difficulty in getting up to go out, and I had to help him do that. 

We took my wife to the airport to say goodbye (for a week trip to see family) and the way back was terrifying. He could not move and could not get out of car when we arrived home. For first time in my life I had to lift him home.


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## Barkr

Oh my goodness how awful for you and Hector, his suffering has ended and your heart will heal give it time, they are such good friends and have never judged or harmed us. And we feel responsible for everything that happens to them. I think that is why we completely fall apart when we lose them.


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## Hector

For days I am reading posts here in the forum, to find out that many of you have experienced similar situations. It relieves me to read about the bridge and that he may be waiting for me. I hope he is.

Wife cancels trip and comes back home. Hector is lying on the floor next to me. I work from home so I keep a constant eye on him. No food, no movement, some blood from nose and extremely foul smell from his sarcoma.

We visit the hospital. Doctors are terrified by his weak look. Blood tests are out.
White cells: 200 (min 5,500)
Platelets: 3000 (min 175,000)
Grey gums, grey tongue. 

They think he may have ehrlichiosis or lesmanian and put us on antibiotics. He does not eat so we have to force the pills in his mouth with some canned cat food he can just about accept. 

Bad night, no movement, no pee. 

He tried to change position at 4am and decided to grasp the moment, lifted him in my arms (42 kilos) and took him out with me, he peed finally, I got so excited we almost partied at 4am.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

I'm so so sorry for your loss. 6 is so very young to have to say goodbye. Hugs to you and Godspeed sweet boy.


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## Hector

I feel completely and utterly responsible for what happened to our boy. Perhaps I should have been more careful with food, more careful with his treats, I don't know what, but I am sure there must have been something I could have done.

Last Sunday was better. But still no food, no movement and I had to lift him out at intervals -3 times the day. I noticed he was lying straight instead of his usual on the side, which made me believe there may be pain on the side. We treated the sarcoma and it looked better by Sunday.

Monday even a better day where he stood up, walked outside with me but still no food. Lethargy most of the day but not so much blood. Friends came over and he got happy.

Then Tuesday came.


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## Hector

Yes I will post some pics later. Right now I am still on the phase where I sing to him at home and at his grave. I believe when I feel better I will post pics of us.

Tuesday, a week from today, it was bad. The breathing was very tough. Lethargy only that he wanted to be outside at the balcony, at his favorite spot. More blood from nose, and when we tried to open his mouth for the pills, complete white tongue. We were devastated. I rushed an appointment at the clinic and made sure doctors would have the time needed to focus on us. We could tell Hector was not well.

An hour later I lifted him to take him to the car, and I could feel his bones very soft. Very weak. I left him down on his own and he started walking to a direction we would rarely walk - and kep going. We believe he may have had a brain loss at that time. We drive the few minutes to the clinic and he co-operated in a very weak manner. I kept giving him water and loving him. Doctor immediately said that this is something which must have been there for at least 6 months. 

We put him at the table. Xrays are out. A lot of white spots / cloudy spots in and around his side bones around the lungs. Doctor said lung cancer, I said no but of course I could see it was a yes.

I asked billion times if we could be wrong, he said he knows the xrays, the blood and the physical condition of Hector. I asked a billion times what we could do and he said we had no choice. I kept asking but there was no choice. Within 10 minutes and no more than that, myself and wife agreed and Hector was saying his last goodbyes. I kept singing to him our favorite songs, "the beach, the beach"....."we are going out for a ride...." but of course he could see and sense I was feeling terrible...


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## Buddy's mom forever

I am very sorry for your loss of Hector, he was so young. I lost mine at age of 9 and half and feels it was very unfair, cant imagine the way you feel.
Run free sweet boy, run strong and fast, love and memories of you will keep you alive in hearts of your family forever.


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## Hector

I have seen in here that many of you have experienced and described the last few seconds / moments and I am terrified, and surprised.

Hector was staring directly into my eyes for 20 seconds before the first injection. He kept staring and I was returning a loving look. He could see and feel I was right in front of him, feeling bad and crying but how could I not? He kept staring right into my eyes.

I felt - and thought - that he was telling me "why are you doing this to me, I have been a good boy..." I hope he was asking me to keep him in my heart forever, and I will. He is in my heart forever. I will never forget my Hector's look straight into my eyes and heart.

Within seconds Hector was fast asleep. Doctor asked us if we should continue and we said Yes. He gave him the second shot and asked us to leave the room for a few moments. He opened the door a few moments later and Hector was there, motionless, completely still, completely quiet, his bad rough tough breathing was not there, and he was at exactly the same position as we had left him 2 minutes ago.


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## Barkr

Hector said:


> I feel completely and utterly responsible for what happened to our boy. Perhaps I should have been more careful with food, more careful with his treats, I don't know what, but I am sure there must have been something I could have done.
> 
> Last Sunday was better. But still no food, no movement and I had to lift him out at intervals -3 times the day. I noticed he was lying straight instead of his usual on the side, which made me believe there may be pain on the side. We treated the sarcoma and it looked better by Sunday.
> 
> Monday even a better day where he stood up, walked outside with me but still no food. Lethargy most of the day but not so much blood. Friends came over and he got happy.
> 
> Then Tuesday came.


 Our Amber(14 yrs) died under similar circumstances and because Goldens are so stoic we did not see it coming. She had moderate arthritis. She went with us to get our Christmas tree and ran around like a pup, the next night she collapsed and could not get up. The next day we were on our way to the Vet she looked at me and passed. Cancer strikes all ages and you can not predict or prevent it. You did nothing wrong!
*The Last Battle*

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the Last Battle -- can't be won.

You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
Through happiness, laughter, sadness and tears.
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, just let me go.

Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.


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## Hector

My name is Michael, I have wanted to have Hector's name register in the forum if I may - I hope this is acceptable.

Myself and my wife lifted him in a white sheet and put him back in the car with us. By then, it was evening (8pm) and we did not want to leave him behind. I had made the promise I would care for him before and after. The drive home was different from the drive to the doctor - motionless, still, quiet inside the sheet. We put him outside our home, at the balcony, at a safe spot where the air was cool until the night would pass.

It was a bad night. I never had any other dog and losing Hector is a horific experience. I am praying that it is a beautiful, easy and relaxed experience for him though.

5am, first light in the sky, I prepare the car and we drive to one of his favorite spots from where we would start to job up to the mountain. That place is the beginning of the path towards the mountain. Other pets are burried there and I felt it would be good to be able to stop when we drive past the place (it is on our way home towards going or coming back from the highway). Trees, hills and other pets around. 

We made a small place for him and ensured he would be safely covered with his toys and a couple of our shirts. I will spare the details.


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## Hector

It has been exactly one week. I do not feel better.

Every morning when I wake, although I make the effort not to, I still want to take the short walk to the little park where we would go in the mornings. I will sing to him when we get back and ask my wife why his food isn't ready yet, in a sweet tone. My wife still expects him next to her lying upside down while she is still in bed and I go to our office room next door. 

Although I am making the effort to cut it down, I still go to his little grave to make sure appropriate dirt is still well and richly covered, that his stones are there and that there has not been an animal to dig him away. I sing a little song, say a little prayer, and then go quietly. I am making an effort to cut it down but I still go once every morning to ensure all looks proper.

I feel terrible, a deep sadness. I miss my boy, my best friend. Hector taught me a lot and most of all, he taught us to be together always, to be calm, to love each other no matter what and to stay together forever until we meet him again. It feels good to hope that he may be at some bridge waiting - but I hope he is playing and fooling around, not just waiting...

I feel I should have done something better. Everything was perfect and suddenly, within 5 days, Hector collapsed. Everything happened too fast for our hearts to be able to bear.

I cannot care for another dog right not. Perhaps in the future but right now I want Hector to peacefully depart and be good and safe where he is. We don't have children yet and perhaps we will adopt a Golden later again when we have young children. 

Right now I have very deep sadness and every day is a challenge. 

I hope I see him in my dreams, and see him well, however so far I sleep without any dreams. A friend said it is because he is happy and peaceful where he is - I hope so.

If I did something ever to hurt him, I feel so sad about it and I hope he forgives me when I see him again. If I could have done something better, I hope he forgives me when I see him again. 

Hector has all my love and my heart is full of our moments together. 

I will never forget him. 

Thank you for hearing me out.


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## Mac'sdad

You did all you could.... when they pass we all want answers as to what and why ...feel comfort in knowing he loved you all ...he was not alone when he passed and he is not alone at the bridge .... keep singing and talking to him ...he knows !!!! 

Play hard at the bridge Hector .... give a woof to all our babies up there with you !!!


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## KathyL

I am so sorry to read your posts on Hector. You gave him a beautiful life and please don't think there was anything you did wrong or could have done for him. Cancer is a terrible disease and unfortunately it does take the lives of so many of our goldens and at far too young an age. When Hector was looking at you he was not asking why are you doing this to me. There is a post on this forum called "the Greatest Gift" I have read it so many times because I do believe when we can no longer provide the quality of life that we promised, letting go is our final gift. I lost my best friend just 8 weeks ago and he also had lung cancer and even when he seemed to be doing amazingly well, his blood works showed his platelets had dropped and he risked bleeding out. Harley was not as young as your Hector, but still young at 8 1/2. The grieving process takes time. You are among a group of wonderful, caring people who will support you and your wife through this sad journey.


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## Karen519

*Hector*



Hector said:


> Yes I will post some pics later. Right now I am still on the phase where I sing to him at home and at his grave. I believe when I feel better I will post pics of us.
> 
> Tuesday, a week from today, it was bad. The breathing was very tough. Lethargy only that he wanted to be outside at the balcony, at his favorite spot. More blood from nose, and when we tried to open his mouth for the pills, complete white tongue. We were devastated. I rushed an appointment at the clinic and made sure doctors would have the time needed to focus on us. We could tell Hector was not well.
> 
> An hour later I lifted him to take him to the car, and I could feel his bones very soft. Very weak. I left him down on his own and he started walking to a direction we would rarely walk - and kep going. We believe he may have had a brain loss at that time. We drive the few minutes to the clinic and he co-operated in a very weak manner. I kept giving him water and loving him. Doctor immediately said that this is something which must have been there for at least 6 months.
> 
> We put him at the table. Xrays are out. A lot of white spots / cloudy spots in and around his side bones around the lungs. Doctor said lung cancer, I said no but of course I could see it was a yes.
> 
> I asked billion times if we could be wrong, he said he knows the xrays, the blood and the physical condition of Hector. I asked a billion times what we could do and he said we had no choice. I kept asking but there was no choice. Within 10 minutes and no more than that, myself and wife agreed and Hector was saying his last goodbyes. I kept singing to him our favorite songs, "the beach, the beach"....."we are going out for a ride...." but of course he could see and sense I was feeling terrible...


I am so very sorry for the loss of your BEST Friend, Hector! It sounds like he had lymphoma or hemangiosarcoma-my Golden Retriever had one of those-she too had it in her lungs. You did the kindest thing for Hector, because you loved him. The vet was right, there was nothing he could do. You will see Hector again, at the Rainbow Bridge. If you tell me what date Hector went to the Rainbow Bridge, I will add him to the Golden Ret. 2013 Rainbow Bridge list!
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...st/124789-grf-goldens-passed-2013-list-7.html


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## CAROLINA MOM

I'm so sorry for your loss of Hector, my heart goes out to you. 

No words can take away your pain, I know you are hurting and are feeling a huge loss and emptiness I've been through it too many times myself. Give yourself time to grieve and your heart to heal. With time I hope you will find peace in knowing that Hector is at the Bridge. He is whole and strong again, enjoying life as he once did when he was young with my Bridge boy and so many other Goldens that are there too.



Godspeed Hector


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## Hector

Thank you all for your kind words and kind thoughts. 
For several days now, I am studying the internet, and the forum, to find hopes and some answers of what I could have done (of what I could do at that time when he was still alive). Every day and night I was studying, food combinations, herbs, hopes....

Hector died last Tuesday February 26th between 18.20-18.30 local time in Athens Greece (11.20 Eastern time). I was not well to keep track of the exact minute.

The following diseases are valid, not sure of their exact order:
Severe Anemia, Severe Thrombocytopenia, Hemangiosarcoma, Bone cancer which led to lung cancer and which destroyed white cells and platellets. All these diseases fall into what was established with Hector.

I believe this might have been the order:
Bone cancer (he showed bone structure deformations on his back and head throughout his life, which returned to normal), which led to the destruction of white cells and platelets. The sarcoma might have been from bone cancer or skin cancer, which metastasized to his lungs. The disease became extremely aggressive the last 5 days and the extreme lightnight and extreme thunderstorm one week ago added on to his stress which made him collapse.

At that early morning (dawn), when the severe thunderstorm, lightning and thunder happened (I have never experienced such an event in all my years), it was as if Hector was being bombarded in an extremely aggressive way by all diseases he carried. The accidental weather incident added on to his collapse, I believe.


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## goldensmum

So very sorry for your loss of Hector, I am sure that we have all questioned our decisions when we have sent our beloved goldens (and others) to the bridge - but we know in our hearts that we are doing the right thing for them. When Hector looked into your eyes he did it because he loved you, not because he thought you were wrong in letting him go. Only people who truly their dogs can be the ones to make that final awful decision and we do it because we love them so much.

Hector will wait for the reunion at the bridge and he will wait with many new friends, in time you will remember him with a smile, and yes there will still be tears at times - I don;t think the pain lessens but we do get a bit better at dealing with it.

You're giving me a special gift,
so sorrowfully endowed
And through these last few cherished days
your courage makes me proud

But really love is knowing
when your best friend is in pain
and understanding the earthly acts
will only be in vain

So looking deep into your eyes
beyond, into your soul
I see, in you the magic that will
once more make me whole

The strength that your possess
is why I look to you today
to do this thing that must be done
for it is the only way

That strength is why I followed you
and chose you as my friend
And why I've loved you all these years
my partner ' til the end

Please understand just what this gift 
you're giving, means to me
It gives me back the strength I've lost
and all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf
for that is what friends do
And I know that what you do is right
for I believe it too

So, one last time U breathe your scent
and through your hand I feel
the courage that's within you too
now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here
Dear friend and let me run, once more
a strong and steady dog
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing
for I won't be far away
Forever here within your heart
And memory I shall stay

I'll be watching over you
your ever faithful friend
And in your memories I will run
A young dog once again

Run free again Hector and sleep softly


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## Hector

Thank you all for your so kind words. Your poems make me dream.
I hope I see him at the bridge.


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## KathyL

Beautiful pictures -- he lived a full life and was clearly loved.

Here is link to the post I mentioned earlier -- I hope you find it comforting.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/rainbow-bridge-grief-support-section/109016-greatest-gift.html

My Harley's symptoms were a little similar to Hectors -- diagnosed with two lung tumors in June 2012 (one confirmed cancer by biopsy), then while doing extremely well even with cancer, his platelets had dropped to 42,000 within just a few weeks and was diagnosed with Immune Mediated Thrombocytopenia. While it was believed to be auto-immune, I suspect cancer was the underlying cause. I briefly documented Harley's medical history at His Name is Harley — An Honorary Tripawd
Like you, I spend a lot of time reviewing his medical charts trying to figure out what I missed, what I could have done differently, but in the end I always remind myself that I did not have all the information when I was making treatment decisions. We make the best decision based on the information we have at hand -- we do not know what might happen in the future so we can't plan for that. But we can share our experiences in hope that it might help others who are going through similar medical experiences with their goldens. 

I hope Harley has met Hector and they are sharing stories and frolicing under sunny skies. And I am sure he will come to you in your dreams, and he will be whole again.


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## Hector

KathyL said:


> Beautiful pictures -- he lived a full life and was clearly loved.
> 
> Here is link to the post I mentioned earlier -- I hope you find it comforting.
> 
> http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/rainbow-bridge-grief-support-section/109016-greatest-gift.html
> 
> My Harley's symptoms were a little similar to Hectors -- diagnosed with two lung tumors in June 2012 (one confirmed cancer by biopsy), then while doing extremely well even with cancer, his platelets had dropped to 42,000 within just a few weeks and was diagnosed with Immune Mediated Thrombocytopenia. While it was believed to be auto-immune, I suspect cancer was the underlying cause. I briefly documented Harley's medical history at His Name is Harley — An Honorary Tripawd
> Like you, I spend a lot of time reviewing his medical charts trying to figure out what I missed, what I could have done differently, but in the end I always remind myself that I did not have all the information when I was making treatment decisions. We make the best decision based on the information we have at hand -- we do not know what might happen in the future so we can't plan for that. But we can share our experiences in hope that it might help others who are going through similar medical experiences with their goldens.
> 
> I hope Harley has met Hector and they are sharing stories and frolicing under sunny skies. And I am sure he will come to you in your dreams, and he will be whole again.


Thank you for your thoughts, your consideration.

It is very difficult for me to read the poem now. It speaks the truth but it is very tough for me to go through it. I have read it, and understood it and I am happy to read that I take the pain while his pain goes away. I pray this is true. 

It is now exactly one week since we put him to sleep. He was lying on the table exactly one week ago, still breathing. I will go out now, to take his favorite walk, saying hello to his friends along the way.


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## Karen519

*Hector*

Your love of Hector shines through in every thing you've written about him.
He would not want you to be sad and I know he would thank you for setting him free, when it was hopeless.
I added Hector to the 2013 Rainbow Bridge List.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...f-goldens-passed-2013-list-7.html#post2293282

We lost our Smooch and Snobear in 2010, and both of their deaths were very sudden.


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## davebeech

very sorry to hear about Hector, I recently lost my boy at just 7,and know hard it is 

Rest In Peace Hector


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## Brinkleythegolden

I am so sorry for your loss of Hector--he was a handsome boy! What you are feeling is totally normal. We lost our boy Fozzie at the age of 9 last July to Hemangiosarcoma. Cancer is a mean, nasty, unforgiving thing! I hope Hector has found my Fozzie and Gallagher at the Bridge to play with.


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## Buddysmyheart

I feel your pain and heartache, and I am so sorry you are going through this. As many others have said, you were Hector's loving advocate to the end, and helped spare him more distress, illness and pain. It is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in your life. Hector was very much loved, and he took that love with him to Rainbow Bridge. I do believe we will be reunited someday with our beloved animals, and that they are watching over us. I know the pain is so intense right now, that is part of the grieving we must go through. How can we not grieve over such wonderful creatures? Please come back to this forum, we will support you all the way. I felt so much comfort when I found this forum, you are not alone. ((HUGS))


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## love never dies

*Rest In Peace - Hector*

So sorry for you loss - beautiful boy Hector


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## Fella 77

So sorry for your loss of Hector...he looks like he was a beautiful boy, and clearly by your pictures, descriptions and your emotional response he was a well loved, well cared for family member...don't beat yourself up and try and figure out what you did or didn't do..you did what was most important..you loved him, you gave him everything he could have needed, and you were with him in the end. He is no longer hurting, and even though you are beside yourself at this point( I know I just went through it 6 months ago) slowly it will get a little better as you move forward.Hector will live on in your heart and your memories..


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## Zuca's mom

I'm so sorry for your loss. You gave Hector such a beautiful place to live. He was loved and he knew it. May you be able to look on his life with his eyes, as he saw it. You would be then be at peace because every day was filled with the people he loved, you and your wife.


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## Hector

I took his favorite walk and I did a short jog that we used to do before sun down. He is burried right there at the jog path, and I put some more color stones Stami had prepared earlier today. It is peaceful there, quiet.

I must be extremely careful. There are several different "groups" in the society, and people who have never loved nor acquainted with animals will most likely think I am weird and perhaps a little crazy. Only people who have shared their lives with a pet and have cared for a pet will understand the feeling.

Everyone here, you are giving me a lot of comfort and I hope, for everyone here, from my heart, that all our dogs are gathered together, strong and complete, playing with each other. I return to you my biggest hopes and prayers from my heart.

Hector at Grand Canyon, while we were driving from LA to Chicago in 2007.
Then Hector at island of Ithaca, Ionian sea, Greece, last year (2012).


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## Hector

Zuca's mom said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. You gave Hector such a beautiful place to live. He was loved and he knew it. May you be able to look on his life with his eyes, as he saw it. You would be then be at peace because every day was filled with the people he loved, you and your wife.


Oh, I so much want this. Just a little dream to tell me all is good where he is, to show me how he feels / felt so I could see life from his eyes.


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## Mac'sdad

Wow... the pics are amazing.... no way Hector thought anything but love and companionship with you and your wife ... the things you have done as a family and the fact you took him all over the world and didn't abandon him as so many people do when their careers or situations change proves how much you were bonded to him .... he was and still is your "heart" dog !!!    ....


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## Qontry

Michael, on behalf of Hector, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Almost six weeks have passed since the passing of our beloved Kodiak. I know time heals, but this has been a bleak period of mourning beyond my expectations. I hope Hector has found a new friend in Kodiak at Rainbow Bridge.
I invite you to view Kodiak's memorial via picture link below.
*******************************************************
​


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## swishywagga

So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Hector. Please remember we are all here for you on the forum day or night. Our thoughts are with you.


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## PrincessDi

So very sorry for the loss of beautiful Hector. In tears for your loss in reading your posts. It is so obvious that you and your family gave him a wonderful life. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers that Hector gives you a sign that he is waiting for you at the bridge.


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## Oakley&SegersMom

Reading about Hector has brought tears to my eyes. Your love amd connection are palpable. We had to help our Oakley cross the Bridge on November 23rd. After 3+ months I am finally getting to a point of celebrating his goofy happy-go-lucky life rather than beating myself up over what I "must" have missed. Oakley passed peacefully with us hugging him and telling him how much he was loved and how much joy he brought to our family. I feel blessed that we were able to be with him and make sure his passing was with dignity, peaceful, and pain free. You did the best you could for Hector and he was telling you that as he looked into your eyes. He knew you would do anything for him. Take care of yourself and enjoy the quiet monments at his resting place. Carol


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## Hector

Oakley&SegersMom said:


> Reading about Hector has brought tears to my eyes. Your love amd connection are palpable. We had to help our Oakley cross the Bridge on November 23rd. After 3+ months I am finally getting to a point of celebrating his goofy happy-go-lucky life rather than beating myself up over what I "must" have missed. Oakley passed peacefully with us hugging him and telling him how much he was loved and how much joy he brought to our family. I feel blessed that we were able to be with him and make sure his passing was with dignity, peaceful, and pain free. You did the best you could for Hector and he was telling you that as he looked into your eyes. He knew you would do anything for him. Take care of yourself and enjoy the quiet monments at his resting place. Carol


Dearest Carol, I am so sorry to read abour Oakley. How old was he?

I read about so many of our Goldens gone. Of course at some point they do, this is the circle of life whether we like it or not. But it is so difficult to bear. 

One question I have had is this: Do most of you move on when you are ready, to raise and live with another puppy? I am not ready for it at all but I understand that in the future raising and living with another dog will give me joy - I think. Of course, perhaps by that time we may have children, but this may be even better so the family grows.

My heart is not ready for another puppy. My heart is full of Hector and although I listed to all your nice words, and I understand them, I still somehow feel responsible for what happened. He was only 6 and if I had taken better care of his food, and weight perhaps it would add him an extra happy day, week, month. 

I am terrified with the idea that, when he looked at me straight into my eyes for a constant 20 seconds, he was asking my Why. I am also terrified with the idea and possibility that, there may even not be a bridge, just a quiet eternal sleep where he is not enjoying anything that sweet life has to offer.

At the same time, if there is a bridge, if he has company of all our dogs there, if he is strong, well and happy, and peaceful, that all makes me very happy. 

Again, thank you all for hearing me out.


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## Hector

Qontry said:


> Michael, on behalf of Hector, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
> Almost six weeks have passed since the passing of our beloved Kodiak. I know time heals, but this has been a bleak period of mourning beyond my expectations. I hope Hector has found a new friend in Kodiak at Rainbow Bridge.
> I invite you to view Kodiak's memorial via picture link below.
> *******************************************************
> ​


Dear Qontry,

I have looked every single one of the pictures and I was smiling last night before I feel asleep. You created wonderful Christmas and celebration memories with your Kodiak. He looks wonderful, beautiful. However, the last pictures broke my heart. I want to have the following picture in my mind when I think of Kodiak:


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## Hector

A few days have gone since I said "Yes" to the doctor, to proceed with the injection, and I miss you dearly every day, every moment of my life.

My sweet Hector, my beautiful pet, my best friend.

Wherever you are, I hope you are running free, strong, healthy, I hope you are swimming in crystal clear seas and lakes, and I hope you have many beautiful pets around you, so you can wag your tail as you always did when I sang to you.

Please be well. I promised I am never forgetting you my best friend.


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## HolDaisy

So sorry for your loss of beautiful Hector, he was way too young to leave you. I can see how special he was to you and it looks like he had a lovely life.


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## Hector

HolDaisy said:


> So sorry for your loss of beautiful Hector, he was way too young to leave you. I can see how special he was to you and it looks like he had a lovely life.


Thank you for your kind words. 

I have never in my life felt so much pain in my chest and heart.
I pray that I only feel the pain, and there is no pain for him, no suffering, only beautiful clear feeling where he is....


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## Brinkleythegolden

You can be assured that Hector feels no pain--he's at the Bridge with the rest of our departed furbabies. The pain that we feel is like no other--we just miss them so much!


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## Sweet Girl

Michael, I am so sorry for your loss. I just read through your thread with tears. My sweet girl died February 5th. She also had cancer. I cried for a week solid. I still cry now. I haven't put away any of her toys, or even her bowls. You will move at your own pace. Grieve as much as you need. I know I will love another Golden one day - but not right now, and probably never in the same way I loved Tesia. You'll know when and if you are ready. I'm so sorry.


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## Hector

Sweet Girl said:


> Michael, I am so sorry for your loss. I just read through your thread with tears. My sweet girl died February 5th. She also had cancer. I cried for a week solid. I still cry now. I haven't put away any of her toys, or even her bowls. You will move at your own pace. Grieve as much as you need. I know I will love another Golden one day - but not right now, and probably never in the same way I loved Tesia. You'll know when and if you are ready. I'm so sorry.


Oh - I am sad and so sorry. How old was your beautiful Tesia? I hope beautiful Tesia is with sweet Hector playing and running. I hope they are looking at us from high up and wagging their tails. I love my Hector so much. His bowls are here and his colar right beside me at the bed side table. 

My chest has been so heavy....if only they are together happy, healthy, strong, drinking cool water from the lake and running around with their friends...I could take all the pain in the world right now if only I could have known they are well....


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## vrmueller

Michael, first I want to express my sincere condolences to you and your wife for the loss of your beloved Hector. Secondly, reading your story and seeing pictures of Hector and your family, I can say you provided a wonderful life for him no doubt. I, too am sure the moment Hector looked into your eyes, he was trying to assure you it was time to go. Don't second guess yourself, you did what was best for him. May Hector rest in peace.


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## Altairss

I have had that moment like you when they stare deep in your eyes. I came to accept it was not why but that its Ok, ok to let me go, ok knowing that you love me and want only the best for me, It Ok I love you too and I am happy you are with me. And most important its Ok I will be waiting for you when it is your time.

He will always be in your heart, you will be a better person for having known and loved him. And some day when your ready you may take another friend into your life one that when they too pass will join Hector at the bridge to play together till your time together comes again.


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## patrice

Micheal,

I am so sorry for your loss of Hector. Unfortantely, I have walked down your path with great sorrow. There are no easy words. This is a tough time. We are heartbroken. I spent the days after Buddy died researching lymphoma; I was sure that I missed something, let him go too soon. I was devasted. This will be a process. But, you will get through it. The grief changes day by day. In time, with a lot of time, you will begin to realize that the story that you had with Hector will never go away. I hope that it inspires you to love again, as it has for me. But, I know now, for you, you probably just need some time. Please remember that you loved Hector and he loved you until the very end. You will meet again, I am sure. Hugs to you. xoxox Patrice


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## Zuca's mom

I love, love, love that picture of you two in the little boat. So cute and wonderful, almost as if you two are having a conversation out there. Cherish those memories.


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## patrice

Also, It is a very hard thing when we say yes to the injection. I know this pain. Remember YOU CHOSE TO END HIS SUFFERING. You took the pain for him. Not easy for you. You did what any person who loved their dog as their best friend would do, you let him go when it was his time, so that he would not have to suffer. You were truly his protector and his best friend. God Bless you for showing this courage.


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## beemerdog

I truly wish there was something I could to ease your grief. 

After I brought my Brandy to the bridge I also had the thoughts - was there something more I could have done? was this my fault?

The answer I keep coming back to is that I gave her as good a life as I could. From taking her camping with me to taking her for rides in "her" sidecar and to simple things like sitting with on my couch with my arm around her watching TV together. It took a while but I know in my heart, that she was happy and I wouldn't change anything for the world.

When Brandy left this world almost seven years ago I said "no more dogs, I just can't go through this again". Three months later, I felt so lonely, I found another puppy to fill the void. For a while I felt a little guilty, like I was a traitor to Brandy's memory, but then, one day, I just had the feeling that she was smiling down at us watching and helping Summer grow into the wonderful dog she is.


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## Fella 77

I love all the pictures you have posted of Hector and your family in some really beautiful places. You gave him a great life, and he looks as happy as any dog could ever be in every photo. Try and think of that when you miss him most..all the love and joy he brought you....It helps me to get through tough days when you really miss them a lot...


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## CrazyZane

Hector said:


> It has been exactly one week. I do not feel better.
> 
> Every morning when I wake, although I make the effort not to, I still want to take the short walk to the little park where we would go in the mornings. I will sing to him when we get back and ask my wife why his food isn't ready yet, in a sweet tone. My wife still expects him next to her lying upside down while she is still in bed and I go to our office room next door.
> 
> Although I am making the effort to cut it down, I still go to his little grave to make sure appropriate dirt is still well and richly covered, that his stones are there and that there has not been an animal to dig him away. I sing a little song, say a little prayer, and then go quietly. I am making an effort to cut it down but I still go once every morning to ensure all looks proper.
> 
> I feel terrible, a deep sadness. I miss my boy, my best friend. Hector taught me a lot and most of all, he taught us to be together always, to be calm, to love each other no matter what and to stay together forever until we meet him again. It feels good to hope that he may be at some bridge waiting - but I hope he is playing and fooling around, not just waiting...
> 
> I feel I should have done something better. Everything was perfect and suddenly, within 5 days, Hector collapsed. Everything happened too fast for our hearts to be able to bear.
> 
> I cannot care for another dog right not. Perhaps in the future but right now I want Hector to peacefully depart and be good and safe where he is. We don't have children yet and perhaps we will adopt a Golden later again when we have young children.
> 
> Right now I have very deep sadness and every day is a challenge.
> 
> I hope I see him in my dreams, and see him well, however so far I sleep without any dreams. A friend said it is because he is happy and peaceful where he is - I hope so.
> 
> If I did something ever to hurt him, I feel so sad about it and I hope he forgives me when I see him again. If I could have done something better, I hope he forgives me when I see him again.
> 
> Hector has all my love and my heart is full of our moments together.
> 
> I will never forget him.
> 
> Thank you for hearing me out.



I'm so sorry for your loss!!

My wife must be cutting a 5lb onion in the house because all of the sudden my eyes are tearing up and they won't stop! You didn't do anything wrong so don't beat yourself up about it. I know its easier said than done. Just take comfort in knowing you were there at the very end with Hector so he didn't die alone.


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## Hector

RichsRetriever said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss!!
> 
> My wife must be cutting a 5lb onion in the house because all of the sudden my eyes are tearing up and they won't stop! You didn't do anything wrong so don't beat yourself up about it. I know its easier said than done. Just take comfort in knowing you were there at the very end with Hector so he didn't die alone.


The last moments were tragic. I was holding him and he was looking straight into my eyes, deep in my soul, and wouldn't take his eyes away from me. I could not hold my tears and pain and he saw and felt me. I wish he hadn't. I probably caused additional pain and distress when he saw my being in so much pain right in front of him - when he looked right into my eyes for minutes. But how could I pretend I was Ok - he could clearly see and feel my pain. I feel guilty about it. 

I pray my boy is resting in a sweet place. But I cannot feel him anywhere near the house, in our out, I have absolutely no feeling of him being anywhere near us....

I hope I am not losing it.

I have read your post with great interest, and with great pain too.

I hope you are having happy moments with the new pup now.


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## Macretriever

Sorry for your loss. It will get better


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## CAROLINA MOM

Michael, I am so sorry for your pain. There are many of us here that know and understand what you're going through. I am one of them. I had to say goodbye to my Old Gold two years ago. He was 15.5, he was my first Golden and so very very special to us. I was able to find peace in knowing that he lived a very good and long life, we were truly blessed to be able to share our life with him. 

Over the last 18 years, we've had to say goodbye to 5 dogs. It had been a few years since we had said goodbye to one. I'd forgotten how much it hurt, it also made me realize that eventually the pain and loss I was feeling would pass. The day would come when I would be able to find peace and be able to smile when I thought of him instead of crying.

You don't know how much they mean to you until they are no longer with you and the loss is so profound. Take the time you need to grieve, give your heart time to heal.

Hector had a wonderful life with you, he knew he was loved. He was a beautiful boy, your pictures are gorgeous, what a life you shared. 

Hector will always be with you, his spirit and soul will live inside of you forever, that can never be taken away.


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## SriMVY

I am so very sorry....I bet he loved to hear you sing to him, and knew how very much you loved him.


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## Hector

It has now been 3 weeks since our Hector died and we are of course still devastated. The loss has been huge and the emptiness in our house quite substantial.

I still visit his little grave and say a little prayer, also a little song. In the evenings, sometimes, I still take the usual walk we used to.

Funny thing is that, when I am at his little grave, I usually say to him:
_Hector! Take a walk! Run! Take a swim at the lake that you used to like, and again and again!_

Then, although I have had no dreams of Hector at all, my wife had a few where he appears completely young, strong, and wet! Wet as of swimming in lake / sea wet. He came to her dreams being wet three times today....

I know it is a wild thought, but he looked happy, young and strong and if there is a chance in a million years that there is life after the passing, then I am extremely happy that he is happy, strong, young and playful!

God bless.


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## CAROLINA MOM

I believe in the after life, I believe we will be reunited with our loved ones and our dogs that have passed.

The dream you're wife had, is a sign and a wonderful gift from Hector letting her know that he is alright. He is young, strong, and healthy once again as he was when he was young. 

Hold onto that very special and wonderful gift you have been given. Hector not only wants you to know that he is whole again and enjoying life, he wants you to be able to find peace. 

Hector will wait for you unitl it's time for you to meet again.


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## PrincessDi

I feel the pain in your words. The pain is so raw and hard to get through. Seems to last forever-but it is different for everyone. The grief is unique, just like everyone's goldie. What death will never do is take away all the love and memories that you shared. I do believe that we will see them again and never be seperated again. I believe that Hector is running and swimming to his heart's content. Doing all of the things that he loved so much in life and waiting for the time to be reunited with his people. Keeping you in our thoughts at this dark time.


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## kadence and scout

I am so sorry for your loss.Hector was a beautiful golden and he sure looked happy!I myself lost my big , beautiful golden named Kadence on January 30,2013 to T-cell Lymphoma.We tried everything to save him but his cancer never responded to the chemo treatments.Though I am told by doing what we did we extended his life by 7 months( where if we did nothing he would have been gone in weeks.)
The day we had to make that awful decision he was doing poorly and my husband brought him to his Oncologist to see if he was having a reaction to the last and final chemo drug that was given to him. So I kissed him goodbye and went to work not realizing that he would never come back home. I get the call from his oncologist that his body is failing and that he is running a fever and his heartrate was all over the place.He finally said that it was time to end his suffering.
So my husband and I went to the hospital.As we walked into that back room there he was on the floor on a big quilt( he wa so weak he could not stand up).He lifted his head, wagged his tail and had that smile that goldens give.I thought how can I put him down when he is wagging his tail and being so loving? It killed me!
But his oncologist brought us back to reality telling us that he is Kadence from the neck up.He had lost all function of his legs.
So I sat on the floor and my family said their goodbyes to him.I held his head in my lap,kissing him,talking to him,rubbing the inside of his ears which he loved.I looked into those big brown eyes and we both knew it was time. I hugged him and gave the ok to the oncologist to begin.He kept looking at me as I spoke softly to him.Then I saw his eyes begin to close.Then it was over,he was peace.
I agonized over this thinking that it would have been an easier decision if he was in a coma or seizing.But I realized he gave us a loving parting gift for us to always remember him by.Head up, alert, tail wagging and that golden smile! Love and miss my boy so terribly.


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## Hector

CAROLINA MOM said:


> I believe in the after life, I believe we will be reunited with our loved ones and our dogs that have passed.
> 
> The dream you're wife had, is a sign and a wonderful gift from Hector letting her know that he is alright. He is young, strong, and healthy once again as he was when he was young.
> 
> Hold onto that very special and wonderful gift you have been given. Hector not only wants you to know that he is whole again and enjoying life, he wants you to be able to find peace.
> 
> Hector will wait for you unitl it's time for you to meet again.


I would like to tell you that your beautiful words give me a lot of comfort. I epecially feel warm because you believe in the afterlife. The feeling of Hector waiting for us to reunite (in many years, we are in our thirties) is so warm and so "home".

Thank you for your beautiful words.


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## Hector

kadence and scout said:


> I am so sorry for your loss.Hector was a beautiful golden and he sure looked happy!I myself lost my big , beautiful golden named Kadence on January 30,2013 to T-cell Lymphoma.We tried everything to save him but his cancer never responded to the chemo treatments.Though I am told by doing what we did we extended his life by 7 months( where if we did nothing he would have been gone in weeks.)
> The day we had to make that awful decision he was doing poorly and my husband brought him to his Oncologist to see if he was having a reaction to the last and final chemo drug that was given to him. So I kissed him goodbye and went to work not realizing that he would never come back home. I get the call from his oncologist that his body is failing and that he is running a fever and his heartrate was all over the place.He finally said that it was time to end his suffering.
> So my husband and I went to the hospital.As we walked into that back room there he was on the floor on a big quilt( he wa so weak he could not stand up).He lifted his head, wagged his tail and had that smile that goldens give.I thought how can I put him down when he is wagging his tail and being so loving? It killed me!
> But his oncologist brought us back to reality telling us that he is Kadence from the neck up.He had lost all function of his legs.
> So I sat on the floor and my family said their goodbyes to him.I held his head in my lap,kissing him,talking to him,rubbing the inside of his ears which he loved.I looked into those big brown eyes and we both knew it was time. I hugged him and gave the ok to the oncologist to begin.He kept looking at me as I spoke softly to him.Then I saw his eyes begin to close.Then it was over,he was peace.
> I agonized over this thinking that it would have been an easier decision if he was in a coma or seizing.But I realized he gave us a loving parting gift for us to always remember him by.Head up, alert, tail wagging and that golden smile! Love and miss my boy so terribly.


I feel so sorry for your Kadence. I hope he has met our Hector and they are running, playing and swimming together. I feel your pain.


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## jealous1

I just found this thread and am so sorry for your loss. Hector was such a beautiful boy. I will join with everyone in saying please do not beat yourself up--Hector would not want that of you. I believe with all my heart that when he looked so intensely into your eyes he was trying to tell you that it was ok, he needed your help to relieve his pain, and that he loved you. 

Here is one of my favorite stories - The Last Will and Testament of Silverdene Emblem O'Neill. I have bolded my favorite passages--may it bring you some comfort as I pray that Hector's memories will comfort you and that one day, soon, you can bring another to help fill your heart:

I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.
I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.

*I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me)*, now that I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those of my fellow Dalmatians who are devout Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris, beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast (like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and the love of one's Master and Mistress.

I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.

*One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog! *I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendôme, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I have been able to in recent years. And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.

*One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved." No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.
*
Tao House, December 17th, 1940


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## CAROLINA MOM

Hector said:


> I would like to tell you that your beautiful words give me a lot of comfort. I epecially feel warm because you believe in the afterlife. The feeling of Hector waiting for us to reunite (in many years, we are in our thirties) is so warm and so "home".
> 
> Thank you for your beautiful words.


Thank you-I'm glad it helps. 

I also believe while our Bridge boys and grirls are waiting for us, they are giving comfort to or keeping someone company who had to leave their dog behind when they passed. Or maybe they have found someone who always wanted a dog here on earth but for whatever reason were never able to have one. 

This gives me the most peace.

I have five dogs waiting for me and I know one day I'll be with them all again.


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## Hector

The strangest feeling happened to me, which I am reporting.
Perhaps this is going to be a little too odd.

The night we put Hector down, a terrible evening, we returned home with his body (the vet did not have space, nor could we leave him someplace to be alone for the night). So we carefully put the body out at the balcony, at around 10pm, until 6am when we would get up to take him to his final resting place. So a few hours.

It was a terrible night. Walking past the living room to get to the kitchen, looking outside at the balcony at his body (fully covered with a clean white sheet), he looked very still, liveless. A terrible feeling. Our beautiful lovely Hector was now lying still, completely liveless. Horrible.

We went to bed and as expected I could not sleep. I twisted and turned several times, thinking and being so sad, not believing it. 

Eventually I fell asleep. But just for a tiny little second. Just enough to get a flash picture which lasted for one second.
On that second, I saw a flash picture of Hector, standing normal, whole and complete, at a completely dark and empty space. His eyes played around exactly like they used to do when he was alive and when he did not know where he was, or what to do at a new unknown place. His eyes played up, down, left, right, having the look _where am I...what now....what is it here....._

I woke up immediately terrified. This picture of his eyes playing around, in a completely dark and empty space, but him being full, whole, normal and standing, was very clear and very live to me, but only lasted for a tiny second. I did not go back to sleep.

A few hours later, my wife got up at around 6am, and we started preparing to drive him to his final resting spot.
We drove to his favorite spot where he used to run, where other pets are also burried. It took us a few hours to prepare a safe place for him.
We prayed, sang, and covered him up with his toys, our shirts, and a little song.

Since then, Stami has seen Hector briefly in her dreams 2-3 times, being wet, playful, happy and young. First time he was on a boat together with other people, next to some other boats where other people and pets were. Stami shouted his name and Hector jumped into the sea. Second time he saw him coming in our room, wet, wagging his tail. Third time coming into my office (at home), wet again, wagging his tail.

He has not come to me (at least yet).

As mentioned in other posts, when I am at his grave, I sing to him his favorite song, and I say to him: _Swim Hector, swim! Swim like you used to and liked, go ahead, swim!_

I know all this is in my subsconcious mind, and I know the mind plays funny games when we are sad like this.

But if only some of this is true, it is just wonderful. 
If only it is true, it is so wonderful.


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## kadence and scout

He did come to you in that second! That first night was terrible for us too.I could swear that I was hearing him come up the stairs to the bedroom, or staring at me at the side of my bed which he would do while I was sleeping.He would always take my sleepers and run around the bedroom with them.When I woke up the next morning they were not where i left them the night before.They were tossed around on the floor just like he use to do.I started crying and my husband said to me that "Kadence must have paid you a visit last night"! So I do believe that they send us little messages to say that they are ok and still with us.
Kadence also loved butterflies.He had on several ocassions sat in the backyard with a butterfly on his nose! He was so gentle. He would let them sit on his nose for a few seconds before they would fly off. He would then chase them!
One day I was feeling really bad and crying.I looked out our patio door and there was a beautiful butterfly flying outside the door.Just hoovering for about a minute. I felt a peace and a smile came over my face.I felt that he was there and ok.
It will take time my friend for you to heal.It is almost 8 weeks for us and our hearts are still broken. But he loved you so very much.He will come to you when you leat expect it!


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## Hector

Today it has been a month since we put Hector down.

I complain to Stami that we rushed with the decision, but she says we didn't, there was no more life in Hector any longer and the 4 days we waited in agonizing terror, hoping he would recover, were a gift to us to say goodbye. The decision was taken extremely fast and the procedure was done equally fast. 

I have not recovered. I go to his grave every day to sing and pray. I hope he listens from where he is. If he does not listen, I hope it is because he has so much fun that he does not care.

I ask for forgiveness for mistakes that I may have made. I really hope he does not care because he is having fun.

Hector: I hope there is a place where you are, and I hope you have met with many other friends over there, to run and play together. No need to come and see us or say hello, but if you listen when we sing, and if you listen when we feel, please know that we love you and want you to be satisfied, safe, and happy where you are.


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## Neeko13

I just watched your beautiful video of your boy Hector with tears in my eyes....what love Hector had from both of you.....he was one lucky dog, and Im sure he knew that....My boys have been gone 6 mos (Nitro) and 1 Mos (Nash)....I loved them more than life itself....I have a huge hole in my heart, but Neeko has found me (6 mos. old) and I am loving again...I have soooo much love to give, I needed someone to give that love too... Every day I see a part of Nitro & Nash in my new boy Neeko, and it makes my heart swell....Im happy again, I miss my boys like crazy, but I like you, am waiting patiently til the day I see those two sweet dogs of mine come running at me at the bridge, where I will heal the hole in my heart....I hope and pray one day you and your wife will give all that love you have in your heart to another golden....It will help.....Im grieving with you and for you...be well, and continue to hold onto his memories, but try to make new ones, with maybe someone new.....good luck.....when you least expect it, another will find you..


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## Fella 77

What a beautiful tribute to Hector. He was a gorgeous boy..he looked happy in every picture. He was obviously a major part of your life and much loved, which unfortunately means he will be missed even more. I sympathize with you, it's been 7 months since I lost my beautiful Sadie to lymphoma, and the pain is still in my heart..even with two new dogs to love I still miss her terribly..


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## Hector

Nash666 said:


> I just watched your beautiful video of your boy Hector with tears in my eyes....what love Hector had from both of you.....he was one lucky dog, and Im sure he knew that....My boys have been gone 6 mos (Nitro) and 1 Mos (Nash)....I loved them more than life itself....I have a huge hole in my heart, but Neeko has found me (6 mos. old) and I am loving again...I have soooo much love to give, I needed someone to give that love too... Every day I see a part of Nitro & Nash in my new boy Neeko, and it makes my heart swell....Im happy again, I miss my boys like crazy, but I like you, am waiting patiently til the day I see those two sweet dogs of mine come running at me at the bridge, where I will heal the hole in my heart....I hope and pray one day you and your wife will give all that love you have in your heart to another golden....It will help.....Im grieving with you and for you...be well, and continue to hold onto his memories, but try to make new ones, with maybe someone new.....good luck.....when you least expect it, another will find you..


Thank you for your beautiful words. We feel comfort when good people tell us life goes on and that we will meet him again. We talk to the breeder and although I have a lot of love to give to a new dog, I still feel guilty and I still feel I want my Hector. I know all this will go away - but for some reason it has not healed at all since he died a month ago. Exactly as you said, there is a large hole in my heart right now. I think his passing has stigmatized me for good and has created a permanent missing / gap, but I have promised I will give love, care and attention to a new puppy as soon as I possibly can.


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## Qontry

Much enjoyed your YouTube tribute to Hector! Just over two months since we lost our best friend, Kodiak. Like you, I hope Hector and Kodiak are enjoying their new friendship at Rainbow Bridge.
*******************************************************
​


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## Hector

Qontry said:


> Much enjoyed your YouTube tribute to Hector! Just over two months since we lost our best friend, Kodiak. Like you, I hope Hector and Kodiak are enjoying their new friendship at Rainbow Bridge.
> *******************************************************
> ​


Oh yes I really hope so. Is it any better for you now that 2 months have gone?


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## KathyL

What a beautiful tribute to Hector. You clearly loved him very much and gave him the best life possible. He was an integral part of your life and that is what makes it so hard when you have to let them go. I think Hector was a very happy dog and had to know how special he was. Just looking at all your pictures, Hector was always there so while his life was far too short, he lived it to the fullest.


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## Hector

KathyL said:


> What a beautiful tribute to Hector. You clearly loved him very much and gave him the best life possible. He was an integral part of your life and that is what makes it so hard when you have to let them go. I think Hector was a very happy dog and had to know how special he was. Just looking at all your pictures, Hector was always there so while his life was far too short, he lived it to the fullest.


Thank you all for your so very comforting words. 
Hector: All these nice people are talking about you.

I hope I will soon feel better.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Beautiful tribute to Hector, he was a very special boy and truly loved. I hope his memories will bring you smiles when you think of him in time.

Give yourself time to grieve and your heart to heal. It's different for everyone, you have to take it at your own pace. When you are ready, I hope you will open your heart and home to another Golden. I think most of us who have had Goldens in our lives, feel we have too much love in our hearts to be without another one. 

Each dog is very special and unique in their own way, you can never replace one with another. 

After I lost my bridge boy two years ago, I adopted a young golden boy from my County Shelter that was in need of a home. I wasn't ready for this boy, but my girl was grieving the loss of her big brother and needed to be with another dog as soon as possible. 

This young boy helped my heart heal and he reminds me so much of my Bridge boy in many ways. I was in the backyard playing ball with him one day last week-I called him my Bridge boy's name. First time I've done this since we let our old guy go......it really took me by surprise. As I said, he reminds me of my bridge boy in many many ways. So much that I feel as if my boy's spirit lives within this young one.

I hope with time you will be able to find peace with Hector's passing, you will be with him again one day.


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## Qontry

Hector said:


> Oh yes I really hope so. Is it any better for you now that 2 months have gone?


Any better ... ??? ... Yes, time certainly does heal. By that I mean, I still miss Kodiak on a daily basis. But the pain has attenuated somewhat. For a month, I visited and viewed his memorial site daily. Not now as frequently and probably with more remembrance of the joy we were blessed with while he was with us ... not the pain of his loss. My wife still has not brought herself to view the memorial and will not even consider thinking about adding another member to the family. We shall see ...
************************************************
​


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## Hector

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Beautiful tribute to Hector, he was a very special boy and truly loved. I hope his memories will bring you smiles when you think of him in time.
> 
> Give yourself time to grieve and your heart to heal. It's different for everyone, you have to take it at your own pace. When you are ready, I hope you will open your heart and home to another Golden. I think most of us who have had Goldens in our lives, feel we have too much love in our hearts to be without another one.
> 
> Each dog is very special and unique in their own way, you can never replace one with another.
> 
> After I lost my bridge boy two years ago, I adopted a young golden boy from my County Shelter that was in need of a home. I wasn't ready for this boy, but my girl was grieving the loss of her big brother and needed to be with another dog as soon as possible.
> 
> This young boy helped my heart heal and he reminds me so much of my Bridge boy in many ways. I was in the backyard playing ball with him one day last week-I called him my Bridge boy's name. First time I've done this since we let our old guy go......it really took me by surprise. As I said, he reminds me of my bridge boy in many many ways. So much that I feel as if my boy's spirit lives within this young one.
> 
> *I hope with time you will be able to find peace with Hector's passing, you will be with him again one day.*


So comforting to read your post, especially your last sentence...


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## CAROLINA MOM

I know your pain all too well sadly to say. 

It was the hardest decision I had to make when it was time to say goodbye to our Old guy, but I knew for his sake, it was the right decision to make. He was in pain and suffering, I couldn't bare to see him suffer although my heart was breaking when it was time to set him free. 

I still miss my boy and it's been over two years. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him, miss, wish he was still with us, but I have found peace with his passing. I know he's still with us, I can feel him and I know one day we'll be together again as well as all my other dogs at the bridge. 

For me, life is not worth living if I don't have at least one dog to share it with. I currently I have a Golden girl and a golden boy-love them dearly, I look forward to each new day with them.


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## Hector

CAROLINA MOM said:


> I know your pain all too well sadly to say.
> 
> It was the hardest decision I had to make when it was time to say goodbye to our Old guy, but I knew for his sake, it was the right decision to make. He was in pain and suffering, I couldn't bare to see him suffer although my heart was breaking when it was time to set him free.
> 
> I still miss my boy and it's been over two years. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him, miss, wish he was still with us, but I have found peace with his passing. I know he's still with us, I can feel him and I know one day we'll be together again as well as all my other dogs at the bridge.
> 
> For me, life is not worth living if I don't have at least one dog to share it with. I currently I have a Golden girl and a golden boy-love them dearly, I look forward to each new day with them.


I can feel your experience, which is comforting to me. 
For us, it was all so fast and sudden at age 6 that I question whether we did the right thing. Stami's words and the test results keep telling me there was no hope. But his last look was so heart breaking for me - will never know what he was telling me until I see him again. Like you, I hope time will heal and that I will eventually find peace. I feel comfort when you say that we will see them again....I will try for us to care for another dog soon.


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## Barkr

What a wonderful tribute to Hector , his life was too short but what a happy adventurous one it was.


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## ssacres

It is so hard to make the final decision. When I was waiting for my vet to come to my home to let my Allie go, I wasn't sure I could, but yet I knew I had to. I couldn't breath as I held her for the vet to set her free. That was 9 months ago. I still miss her and I always will. I visualize her sitting next to Jesus waiting for me. I believe all our babies are waiting for us to be with them again but they are happy and content knowing we will be together again. So sorry for your pain and your loss. He was a beautiful boy. You will see him again..


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## Brinkleythegolden

What a beautiful tribute to Hector. He was your heartdog for certain. We lost our boy almost 9 months ago, and there are days that it is still hard. We will always miss our bridge babies. We are hoping that a new puppy will help fill that gap in our hearts sometime this summer. I'm so sorry that you are hurting so horribly...I know it's not easy.


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## Hector

It has been 42 days today, and it still hits hard on me.

Stami is doing better. She remembers, but she does not grieve. At least, she does not seem to grieve openly.

I am doing a little worse. I still visit his grave every day, to say a little song and a little prayer. Every one of you here has made me feel good, telling me they are all doing well at the rainbow bridge and still waiting for us. I hope it is true.

Hector has never visited me since he passed. Only the first night when we had his body at the veranda, waiting to get bright again to put him at his final resting place. On that night he came to me for a second or so, and he looked waken (from the anesthesia), but confused as to where he was. He was at a completely dark place, and he looked strong and fine, only confused.

After that, he never came to my dreams. 

After doing a lot of reading and discussing, here is what happened to Hector:

*1. AutoImnune Hemmolytic anemia:*
Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia or AIHA 
This was the secondary cause most likely

*2. Hemangiosarcoma:*
Hemangiosarcoma in dogs

None of the above diseases were ever confirmed by Vets as they had no idea of what was going on, and simply said "cancer" from the XRays they took. In my own view, the XRay did not show cancer in the lungs. I think it showed the blood all over the lungs and the surrounding area, which was due to an organ rupture, due to Hemangiosarcoma, and where the symtoms also showed AHA.

So far for my own reading to understand what Hector had. Too late though.

I have already started looking and discussing about another puppy and you are all correct:

Getting another puppy will make me feel good - to give love to another being that looked like Hector. As you all correctly said, Hector remains my one special heart dog who I will never forget, will always think and remember and will always long to meet when my time comes. 

There is a lot of love still for another puppy.


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## alligeek

Hector said:


> For us, it was all so fast and sudden at age 6 that I question whether we did the right thing. Stami's words and the test results keep telling me there was no hope. But his last look was so heart breaking for me - will never know what he was telling me until I see him again. Like you, I hope time will heal and that I will eventually find peace. I feel comfort when you say that we will see them again....I will try for us to care for another dog soon.


 
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I'm convinced that our fluffy kids know when it's time for them to go to the Bridge. I know that "last look" that you described--I saw it from my two Golden angels. It sent chills up my spine both times. 

You were faced with an agonizing decision and did what was best for Hector. While I know how much this hurts, you did something very loving and selfless, and you will be reunited with him someday when you work on this Earth is done. {{hugs}}


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## SriMVY

Hector said:


> I have already started looking and discussing about another puppy and you are all correct:
> 
> Getting another puppy will make me feel good - to give love to another being that looked like Hector. As you all correctly said, Hector remains my one special heart dog who I will never forget, will always think and remember and will always long to meet when my time comes.
> 
> There is a lot of love still for another puppy.


I'm so happy to hear that you are looking forward to more Golden love in your future. If I remember correctly, Gypsy went to the bridge shortly after Hector did. I'm bringing my new pup home on the 25th of this month. I'll never forget Gypsy, and I'll try to honor her by using all she taught me in raising my new pup.


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## Hector

SriMVY said:


> I'm so happy to hear that you are looking forward to more Golden love in your future. If I remember correctly, Gypsy went to the bridge shortly after Hector did. I'm bringing my new pup home on the 25th of this month. I'll never forget Gypsy, and I'll try to honor her by using all she taught me in raising my new pup.


This is one of the best statements I have heard. That you will honor her by using all she taught you. So beautiful and true.

I have been looking, but I am still grieving. I am not sure I want a Golden, they are all wonderful beings no matter the breed. I have been looking into for a Golden, or a Leonberger, or a Howavart (genetically better health than Goldens). But of course, Goldens have my heart. 

FYI, the day you bring your new pup home is my Birthday. What is the name of your new pup?


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## SriMVY

Hector said:


> FYI, the day you bring your new pup home is my Birthday. What is the name of your new pup?


I think I may name it George! I'm still not sure whether or not I'll be bringing home a boy or a girl - I'm the 'swing' person after a performance person chooses and either is fine with me. I'm sure Gypsy will send the dog that's meant to be my way. 
Nancy Drew had a friend named George who was a girl....I may still go with that even if it's a girl. 
And Happy Birthday!


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## Puni Mama

I am so sorry to hear about your boy Hector. I am watching my girl Pia getting weaker and weaker with hemangiosarcoma and I know that the painful day when I will have to let her go is close now. Sending you healing thoughts......


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## Hector

Puni Mama said:


> I am so sorry to hear about your boy Hector. I am watching my girl Pia getting weaker and weaker with hemangiosarcoma and I know that the painful day when I will have to let her go is close now. Sending you healing thoughts......



I am sending you my warmest thoughts and prayers.
How old is your Pia? How long has she had it?


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## Karen519

*Pia*

Praying for Pia!


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## Puni Mama

Pia will be 11 on June 4. On January 6, she had a small episode where she fell down and didn't eat or drink for several hours -- but then she got up and was ok so we watched her but thought it had something to do with inner ear balance. Now looking back we know that January 6th was her first minor bleed from one of her tumors. She had another episode in March and that is when I got an abdominal and cardiac ultrasound and learned that she had a large tumor on her heart, one on her spleen and small ones on her liver. We were told that she could go any day -- since then we have tried to treat each day as a gift. We take her out for several small walks a day, play with her favorite tennis balls, hold her when she has a tumor bleed, and try every creative strategy to make sure she gets her nutrition since she has become extremely difficult to feed. But we are just so happy that we still have her with us and that she still has a decent quality of life -- given the size of her tumors this is truly a miracle!


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## ChoppersMOM

Just found Sir Hector's thread... Tears are flowing as most of us do when we read these. It doesn't matter how much time passes between the loss of our heart dogs and now... the tears always come when I read stories like this! I just want to tell you that you, your wife, and Hector had quite an amazing run of years. He saw waters sooooo blue that many wont ever experience. If i think of your Hector I especially enjoy the thought of him swimming in the brilliant blue waters. Have no uncertainty that at the last moment when he looked deep into your eyes... He was watching you and worried about you! When I lost my Chopper at 7 years old... I swore it he was more worried about me. He really tried his best to stay and as his time was drawing near he knew I wasn't handling it well so he wanted to make it easier on me... They look deep into you to give you strength! It took me about 3 months to get another Golden love... I love him dearly... No one takes the place of another. You just learn to carry that love on. I was so worried that Chopper was at the bridge and ticked off that I got another dog... You see he wasn't one to make dog friends easy... He protected me like no other. But I see him sometimes when I look at Boomer. In the eyes. I swear he talks through him sometimes... but only when Boomer is still (which isn't often). Take comfort in knowing Hector had a great life and as many tricks as you taught him... He taught you far more! Nothing but L-O-V-E from all the Goldens! They are all just the best! RIP and play hard Hector!


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## Hector

Dear All,

I hope my writing finds you all well.

Almost 3 months have gone past, and I am better now. I focus on other things, work, life, ambitions and goals, life itself. I always remember my Hector, and I visit him a few times a week. I sign a little song and say a little prayer. 

Today I spoke with a good breeder, here in Greece where we live. We had a good and long talk and she offered a puppy, to go home in September.

I have not decided yet, but I feel life is funnier with a Dog in the family, who lives together with the family. My wife, Stami, is afraid, but I think we will be happy again. 

I feel sad as I write this, I hope Hector would approve. I have not decided yet. I hope my Hector is well wherever he is. I love him.


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## swishywagga

I am so happy to read your news about a possible new arrival. I have a feeling that Hector probably has something to do with this puppy coming along! No other dog will ever replace him but will give you the chance to love another dog again the way you did Hector, and that puppy will be so lucky to have found his way into your family. I am so glad that things are getting a little easier for you. Please keep us all updated.


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## mygunner

So heartbreaking that he passed so young but it sure looks like you and your wife gave him the most wonderful life you can see the hapiness in his face! I just lost my 4 year old Golden Gunner exactly a month ago today. He died in surgery so I was not able to say goodbye and that bothers me so much. If I could have given him just one ore hug!!! I wrote a poem for him tonight I do not write but this just came into my head and I had to write it down. 

My heart flew away this morning and will never be the same for God and the Angels called you up my Gunner by name. You came into my life and went out with a mighty golden flash so unexpected our hopes and dreams were dashed. I will shed tears for you until the day I die but when I see you in Heaven we will rejoice and our souls will fly. So hold onto my heart and I onto yours until the day we meet again my sweet Golden boy! Your mommy, Amanda/nanny

I am heartbroken and my life will never be at that perfect happy place again only in our dreams and memories until we meet them again.


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## Hector

mygunner said:


> So heartbreaking that he passed so young but it sure looks like you and your wife gave him the most wonderful life you can see the hapiness in his face! I just lost my 4 year old Golden Gunner exactly a month ago today. He died in surgery so I was not able to say goodbye and that bothers me so much. If I could have given him just one ore hug!!! I wrote a poem for him tonight I do not write but this just came into my head and I had to write it down.
> 
> My heart flew away this morning and will never be the same for God and the Angels called you up my Gunner by name. You came into my life and went out with a mighty golden flash so unexpected our hopes and dreams were dashed. I will shed tears for you until the day I die but when I see you in Heaven we will rejoice and our souls will fly. So hold onto my heart and I onto yours until the day we meet again my sweet Golden boy! Your mommy, Amanda/nanny
> 
> I am heartbroken and my life will never be at that perfect happy place again only in our dreams and memories until we meet them again.


Yes it is a very tough experience, we can only comfort ourselves by thinking they are well, safe, strong and healthy where they are, and hopefully one day far away from now we will see them again.

You said you lost Gunner in surgery. Was it in Korea during the fixing surgery where the doctors made a mistake?


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## mygunner

Hector said:


> Yes it is a very tough experience, we can only comfort ourselves by thinking they are well, safe, strong and healthy where they are, and hopefully one day far away from now we will see them again.
> 
> You said you lost Gunner in surgery. Was it in Korea during the fixing surgery where the doctors made a mistake?


No a week before he passed I noticed a mass in his abdomen on the left side and he was acting nervous and just did not seen well. The vet did an xray and saw a huge mass so they set him up for exploratory surgery. He ended up having a huge adrenal tumor that involved his vena cava artery going to his heart and as soon as they moved the tumor he started to bleed out and his heart rate went out of control they could not save him. I was really expecting him to just have a mass maybe cancer but I thought the worst would be that they sent him home with a few weeks to live but it all happened so fast within one week and I just thought he would be coming home. I had everything set up for him to come home and recover. The vet said if I had not moved up the surgery he would have died over the weekend here and he said it would have been more traumatic for me. I miss him so much!


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## Hector

mygunner said:


> No a week before he passed I noticed a mass in his abdomen on the left side and he was acting nervous and just did not seen well. The vet did an xray and saw a huge mass so they set him up for exploratory surgery. He ended up having a huge adrenal tumor that involved his vena cava artery going to his heart and as soon as they moved the tumor he started to bleed out and his heart rate went out of control they could not save him. I was really expecting him to just have a mass maybe cancer but I thought the worst would be that they sent him home with a few weeks to live but it all happened so fast within one week and I just thought he would be coming home. I had everything set up for him to come home and recover. The vet said if I had not moved up the surgery he would have died over the weekend here and he said it would have been more traumatic for me. I miss him so much!


It makes me very sad to read this. Be sure that he now is good, safe and strong, and one day we will see them both again. Remember him forever.


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## Hector

Yesterday was a very difficult day. I visited Hector's grave again. 

We were informed by a little girl in the north Greece about a little puppy found in the woods. Although he was safe, the rescue team was looking for a family for the little pup. The little girl is part of a rescue team and posted facebook pics to find a home. The pup is not a Golden, it is an unknown - no breed / some breed pup. 

For some reason I got stuck to the idea. I drove 550 miles, picked him up (it took me 2 minutes to pick him up) and drove 550 miles back the same night. Me and him drove all night. He is extremely intelligent, playful, social and good mannered. He is not a Golden, but he has a soul. He is a pup. And he has all the qualities of a good pup.

He runs around the house all day barking out of joy. He sleeps next to us. The home is a mess, but a happy mess. He keeps us busy.

He is not Hector, but he is a pup who needed help. Many more pups here need help and I don't think I will only stay with this one now. Most likely I will bring a few more at home to ensure they are safe and well.

My mind and soul are full of Hector. I sincerely hope is well.


----------



## Karen519

*Hector*



Hector said:


> Yesterday was a very difficult day. I visited Hector's grave again.
> 
> We were informed by a little girl in the north Greece about a little puppy found in the woods. Although he was safe, the rescue team was looking for a family for the little pup. The little girl is part of a rescue team and posted facebook pics to find a home. The pup is not a Golden, it is an unknown - no breed / some breed pup.
> 
> For some reason I got stuck to the idea. I drove 550 miles, picked him up (it took me 2 minutes to pick him up) and drove 550 miles back the same night. Me and him drove all night. He is extremely intelligent, playful, social and good mannered. He is not a Golden, but he has a soul. He is a pup. And he has all the qualities of a good pup.
> 
> He runs around the house all day barking out of joy. He sleeps next to us. The home is a mess, but a happy mess. He keeps us busy.
> 
> He is not Hector, but he is a pup who needed help. Many more pups here need help and I don't think I will only stay with this one now. Most likely I will bring a few more at home to ensure they are safe and well.
> 
> My mind and soul are full of Hector. I sincerely hope is well.


My heart goes out to you with the pain you are suffering, but I know you did the right thing giving this sweet pup a loving home and I know that HECTOR would agree and he's smiling down on you. My Smooch and Snboear are keeping him company, until we all meet, again!


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## Hector

Karen519 said:


> My heart goes out to you with the pain you are suffering, but I know you did the right thing giving this sweet pup a loving home and I know that HECTOR would agree and he's smiling down on you. My Smooch and Snboear are keeping him company, until we all meet, again!


Thank you for your kind words. 
I hope Smooch and Snboear are together with Hector now.
Time will heal but I will always look forward (I suppose anticipate) the time I see him again.

The new pup is extremely playful and funny and we are giving him all the love we have. Our love for Hector is on a completely different divine level.


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## Neeko13

My eyes are misty reading of your new rescue....Hector sent him to you, you will love him, and enjoy him for sure....he will never replace your hector, but you will love him as well.....My Neeko has helped heal my broken heart when I lost Nitro & Nash within 6 mos. time....Life is doable, and Neeko makes us laugh, cry, and love again....good luck, what did you name him?? And show us a pic of your new pup.....


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## Hector

Nash666 said:


> My eyes are misty reading of your new rescue....Hector sent him to you, you will love him, and enjoy him for sure....he will never replace your hector, but you will love him as well.....My Neeko has helped heal my broken heart when I lost Nitro & Nash within 6 mos. time....Life is doable, and Neeko makes us laugh, cry, and love again....good luck, what did you name him?? And show us a pic of your new pup.....


Here is a video of speedy. Very funny pup. He just peed in my office and run away like crazy all over home so I could not catch him. I tried to catch him and he escaped. I tried to be strict about his peeing but he made me laugh so much that I completely failed the teaching part here....

We don't have a name yet. We are thinking about Frixy or Thrasos (the latter means "balls" in Greek, meaning he is not afraid of anything and he does his own thing without asking.....). But not sure of the name yet.

Please tell me: You have a beautiful pic of your wedding day with 2 beauties. Are they Nitro and Nash? If so, how beautiful they are! And you said you missed them both within 6 months? Do you know what was wrong? How old were they? My heart goes out to you.


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## Karen519

*Hector*

I just checked and someone added your Hector to the 2013 Rainbow Bridge List.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...t/124789-grf-goldens-passed-2013-list-13.html

Where is the video of Speedy?

Would love to see him!


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## Hector

Karen519 said:


> I just checked and someone added your Hector to the 2013 Rainbow Bridge List.
> http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...t/124789-grf-goldens-passed-2013-list-13.html
> 
> Where is the video of Speedy?
> 
> Would love to see him!






This is the video from yesterday. Crazy pup. I laugh only by looking at him.
I also attach some pics. Does anyone know what breed he may be and how big / small he may be?


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## Hector

Hector said:


> Koutavos - YouTube
> This is the video from yesterday. Crazy pup. I laugh only by looking at him.
> I also attach some pics. Does anyone know what breed he may be and how big / small he may be?


https://picasaweb.google.com/StamatiaTh/Koutavaki?authkey=Gv1sRgCKzZiMSOuuWv2wE

Here are some pics. Does anyone know what he may be and how big he may get?


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## Brinkleythegolden

It's hard to tell--he moves way too fast! Silly boy! He actually looks like he may have some shepard in him. Bless you for giving him a home.


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## Hector

fozziesmom said:


> It's hard to tell--he moves way too fast! Silly boy! He actually looks like he may have some shepard in him. Bless you for giving him a home.


Here are pics:

https://picasaweb.google.com/StamatiaTh/Koutavaki?authkey=Gv1sRgCKzZiMSOuuWv2wE


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## swishywagga

Congratulations on your pup. Not sure of what breed he may have in him, but would agree with Fozziesmom looking especially at his face could be some Shepherd in there. Whatever he is, he looks very sweet and a typical mischevious puppy!


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## Wendi

He is adorable!! He had zoomies and was so fast! 

Yep, I think Hector sent this new pup to help heal your heart!


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## Hector

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

He is good. He is not Hector but he is good. Of course it took Hector 6 and a half years to become what he is - so the new puppy has a long term chance and I will do my best to develop him in the best possible way. He has a lot of love from us.

Can anyone tell what size or how many pounds he could be expected to become? He is currently 2 months old and 9.5 pounds.


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## C's Mom

(Boy, am I glad I opened a new box of tissue before reading this thread.)

I haven't been here in a while but I remember posts about Hector. I'm so sorry to hear about his passing and send you and your wife much strength.

It's easy to see why you and your wife loved Hector so much. He was a beautiful golden boy. From viewing his pics and video I can see that Hector lived a BIG life and I want to thank you both for giving him that. He was a very lucky boy. Again, I send you both much strength in coming to terms with his passing. 

That little pup is so cute! He does look like he has some shepherd in him so I would expect that he would be a mid-sized dog at least?? but who knows for sure. Of course, he isn't Hector - there can only be one but, if you can, try to keep your hearts open and enjoy him. It looks like you are well on your way to doing just that.


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## Hector

C's Mom said:


> (Boy, am I glad I opened a new box of tissue before reading this thread.)
> 
> I haven't been here in a while but I remember posts about Hector. I'm so sorry to hear about his passing and send you and your wife much strength.
> 
> It's easy to see why you and your wife loved Hector so much. He was a beautiful golden boy. From viewing his pics and video I can see that Hector lived a BIG life and I want to thank you both for giving him that. He was a very lucky boy. Again, I send you both much strength in coming to terms with his passing.
> 
> That little pup is so cute! He does look like he has some shepherd in him so I would expect that he would be a mid-sized dog at least?? but who knows for sure. Of course, he isn't Hector - there can only be one but, if you can, try to keep your hearts open and enjoy him. It looks like you are well on your way to doing just that.


Thank you for your kind words. My Hector is always in my mind, heart and soul, I visit him often. It is very difficult to let go and when I have some good times, I look at the sky and I hope that he is there looking at us and waving his tail.

This weekend we had fun with the new pup. We took a boat trip - our first boat trip the three of us - and we enjoyed it. The sea was rough but when we moored, he loved it. Several times I looked at the sky, and during the night, I looked at the stars, hoping that Hector is someplace there satisfied. If only I knew if he is well.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Your new little guy is adorable, agree he looks like he has shepherd in him.

He's certainly is a quick little guy, talk about a case of the zoomies. 

I think Hector did send him to you, he knew you were the right person to care for this little guy. 

I hope he heals your heart and brings you much joy and love.


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## HolDaisy

Congratulations on your new pup. That's the fastest puppy zoomies I have ever seen! Hector definitely sent him your way and he will be so happy that you have another buddy to love. Keep us updated on your pups progress


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## Carolina Clover

Awww, he is so cute! I am so glad a puppy made his way into your heart. It never replaces, but they sure are fun! 

I too am betting on shepherd --- maybe some Aussie too. I love his face and ears. For size reference, my puppy Clover was 11 pounds at 8 weeks (she is a golden), so maybe medium sized --- or just a bit smaller than a golden, but who knows!

I loved seeing the video and the weekend pictures. He is so lucky to have you --- what a great life he will have, just like Hector.


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## Hector

Carolina Clover said:


> Awww, he is so cute! I am so glad a puppy made his way into your heart. It never replaces, but they sure are fun!
> 
> I too am betting on shepherd --- maybe some Aussie too. I love his face and ears. For size reference, my puppy Clover was 11 pounds at 8 weeks (she is a golden), so maybe medium sized --- or just a bit smaller than a golden, but who knows!
> 
> I loved seeing the video and the weekend pictures. He is so lucky to have you --- what a great life he will have, just like Hector.


Thank you all of your nice words. The grieving seems never to stop. 
The new pup is a competely different story, different feelings, different experience. It seems my world with Hector is on another level, I am sure I will never let go.

We are thankful for the time we had with him and every time I visit him, I sing his favourite song, say a little prayer and tell him that I look forward to seeing him again, some day, one day. 

Golden Retrievers Forum has indeed helped me share my feelings, while I speak openly about them, and while reading that several friends in here have lost their loved dog. 

Again, thank you all for having listened to me for more than 3 months now.


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## KathyL

I just saw your post and laughed when I saw your new pup. My God what speed and energy that guy has! And my first thought also was some German Shepherd with the black face. He seems to have pretty large paws so he might grow up to be a pretty big boy. I suppose you could have a DNA sample done to get a better idea of his background. You have truly honored Hector by opening your hearts and home to another dog. You'll have to post updates from time to time.


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## Buddy's mom forever

You know, your thread is the one that is very hard to read. There were many for those two years I am regular on the Bridge section but a few that I was coming back and never read to the end. It is because I know the pain of loss, two years later I still feel it and I know when I read your posts how painful is that for you. You did good saving this little guy, he will make you cry but he will make you smile too like Charlie does for me. I will never forget my Buddy like you will always remember your Hector. There will be hurt and tears thinking of them but hope we will see them one day and our new guys will keep us going on with life until that day comes. Allow little one to love you and teach you, Hector will be very proud of you.


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## Hector

Buddy's mom forever said:


> You know, your thread was the one that is very hard to read. There were many for those two years I am regular on the Bridge section but a few that I was coming back and never read to the end. It is because I know the pain of loss, two years later I still feel it and I know when I read your posts how painful is that for you. You did good saving this little guy, he will make you cry but he will make you smile too like Charlie does for me. I will never forget my Buddy like you will always remember your Hector. There will be hurt and tears thinking of them but hope we will see them one day and our new guys will keep us going on with life until that day comes. Allow little one to love you and teach you, Hector will be very proud of you.



You're wonderful writing this. The little guy does a very good job teaching me and making me laugh. More laugh than hard. He already pees and poops outside (1 week in the house, he has never pooped inside). I am buffled, he is extremely different from a Golden. Very independant but very intelligent at the same time.

Many of you have said that, what we have with a new pup has no connection with our old pets. I can clearly see and feel this now. I provide love and care for the pup, and I think of Hector completely independantly from this, completely differently, on another world.

I am missing him very much. I hope the pet heaven exists for all our dogs.


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## Hector

Hello All again,

*My Boy Hector*
My beautiful boy Hector is sleeping. I visit him often, to tell him the news and to sing a song. I bring him stones from the mountain where we used to run, and little pebbles from the beach where he liked to swim. My pain has gone now, well most of it, and what is left is his soul in my heart and mind every day. His memory lives inside me and I know I will see him again when it is time. I am grateful for the time he gave me and for that I will never forget him. His collar will always be by my bedside and his leash right in front of me when I work. His life with us will always remind us of a beautiful part of our lives that we shared together in United States and Greece. I will look forward to seeing him again when the time comes. He taught me that life is about friends, family, calmness, nature and joy. 

*The new Puppy Thrassos*
He is three months old. Exactly the opposite personality to Hector. Not melow, independant and courageous. He will not grow big, max 25 pounds, and he looks like a mini German Sheperd. He makes us laugh every day. My wife is happy - he is a cartoon.

*The new Golden puppy coming up*
So we are expecting another puppy, a Golden Retriever, to come to us around September. He was just born a couple of weeks ago, and I visited him to see him with his sisters and brothers. The birth was great and the mother and father look like model dogs. Pure deep Golden color. Beautiful temperament. He is about 2 weeks old now and his arrival is scheduled for about the 15th September. I am not excited - I am dying with excitement!

I will serve both new dogs to my best and our lives will become one, again. I am conscious that I will lose them, as I did with Hector, but I will spend every second cherishing their existence and love and play they give. 

I want to thank you all for the fantastic support you have given me.
Hector has been my One dog, my First one.


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## jealous1

What a wonderful tribute to your Hector and update on Thrassos and upcoming arrival. Your words remind me of a line I once read in a book that I couldn't even tell you the title of but have always used it to describe each of my four-legged children who have crossed over . . .

_"There was only one and he was mine."_

May you have many, many years to make more memories with your new little ones.


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## PrincessDi

Hector-I know what a difficult time you are having, I feel your pain. What a wonderful tribute to your boy Hector to welcome Thrassos into your heart and the new golden puppy to come.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Your words brought tears and smiles to me tonight. I am glad you are at peace and most of the pain is gone now. That is how is supposed to be. It is not about chasing happiness it is about being at peace. Nothing makes me feel better than to read your words "*He taught me that life is about friends, family, calmness, nature and joy*.", then I know the right dog was matched with the right person. God bless you and your family, your Thrassos and new born puppy (once golden always golden).


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## Barkr

So glad your heart has healed enough to be able to fill it and share it again. Any dog would be lucky to be in your amazing life.


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## swishywagga

So wonderful to read about your soon to be golden puppy, what an amazing family he will have!


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## Hector

Hector has shown me the direction to become a better person, and has shown me the way to do it, by applying more love and calmness into life, and by understanding to treasure the gifts we have.

My heart is full of Hector, and now it is open for many more dogs. Thrassos and the new upcoming Golden Puppy (I will really need a good and unique name for him soon, but this is not the post for this I suppose) - so Thrassos and the upcoming puppy will live with us at home and will share our lives together, however we have much more love which we need to distribute to more dogs who do not have a home and do not receive love (i.e. we started to care and donate for stray dogs and / or hurt dogs through serious and loving shelters).

Life has great gifts for us when we live it with love. Our dogs are good teachers. And when time comes for life to stop, there will be many great four legged angels waiting for us.

Once again I want to thank you all because I sincerely found comfort here.


p.s.
Blu was a stray. He waited patiently for two years to find a loving home. I promised him I would take him but I broke my promise. I was not ready. I was informed yesterday that a loving home in Finland wants him. We spayed him and chipped him and got him ready and hugged him a million times. Blu is on his way to his new loving home. A part of Hector will fly with Blu too. It makes us incredibly happy. Blu will get on the Athens - Helsinki flight, full of our kisses, on his way to his new home.

Dear Admins: Please accept apologies for the too many irrelevant subjects in this posting. I am sure Hector sees all of you through my heart and waves his fury tail.


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## Hector

*Dear All,

Yes, unfortunately the Rainbow Bridge is busy....
Our heart goes to all Dogs we have lost, and who we hope have found peace and joy until we see them again.

Out of Respect for Hector, I prefer to keep writing into this thread.

Hector's grave is there, sitting still and quiet. I visit him often, and sing his favorite song, clap my hands like we used to, and talk to him about things happening in our lives. It has been 6 months now, almost, and Hector is one of the best experiences I have had in my life. A true gift, and I pray to God that one day I will meet him again.

As you might know, we now have a little (miniature I mean) German Sheperd kind of pup, 5 months old, full of courage, very comic, called Thrassos (Courage).

Today I met our second pup, our forthcoming Golden Baby. I visited the breeder from the moment he was born and today he is full grown 1,5 months. The breeder tells me I will be allowed to take him home after the doc sees him, when he is about 2++ months old. He looks great. He picked me when I was looking at the litter. He really picked me with a BIG Golden Smile (you know exactly what I mean).

So there will be the second pup and we will run and play and love and remember Hector all along our lives.

The first pup name is Thrassos.
The second Golden pup name will either be Mythos, Spithas, or Frixos.

So it is. Mid September. *


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## solinvictus

Congratulations on Thrassos. What a beautiful name. I would guess that Hector had a hand in the new pup to come picking you. 

I believe that my wonderful loving journey with my Sunny was truly to help guide me when I finally got my Helios. 

I hope that your journey of love with Hector will help to guide you through your loving journey with both Thrassos and your new pup to come.


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## Brinkleythegolden

Hector, I am so happy for you that you have Thrassos, and you are bringing home a new golden to add to your family. After a little over a year, we are adding a new Golden to our lives also. We pick him up this Saturday, August 24th. I can't wait to see pictures of your new golden baby!


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