# Please help I don't know what to do.



## Nickyappleseed (Apr 12, 2013)

Well I got my little man when he was 6 weeks old and I was out on workers comp so I had 6 months to spend with him and train him. We was house trained and crate trained. The problem that we are having is with submissive urination. Since the day he was neutered he has had a big problem with it only with me tho and not my girlfriend. It was getting to the point where I can't look at him feed him walk him or even go into a room that he was in. And he spent all of his time away from me mostly laying in his crate being anti social. If i came into a room we would stare are me and leave 
He wouldn't eat his food if I feed him and wouldn't take any treats from me I would try to give him. I don't understand why it got to this point. I'm not naturally a violent person but I am a very stern guy. If been told it's because I'm to much of a dominant figure. I just think it's funny that there was zero problems with this and he loved me to death and needed to be on me at all times till I picked him up from the vet after being neutered. He is now a year old and he no longer for lives with me because me and my girlfriend had problems and she moved out and she kept one dog and I kept the other. We fought ALOT and when I would come home from work he would get excited at someone coming in the house and when he saw it was me his ears would go back and tail between the legs and would run around the house urinating all over the wood floors and that didn't help the situation at home it just made things worse. I wouldnt yell at him. I do what everyone told me to do online. Ignore it. When he urinates turn my back and when he leaves the room clean it up without him seeing it. And it has been a few months and me and my girlfriend are back together and the only thing stopping us from moveing to the next step in our life's is the dog. He still sees me and books in the opposite direction square and goes to the bathroom. My other dog has never done any submissive signs at all since we got her. It's only my golden Marley. What can I do to get him to trust me and except as his human. Oh and all he never has lifted his leg to go to the bathroom on walks. He always squats. Can it be a testosterone related issue from the neutering? The vet offended me and told me it's because I tell at the dog and probably hit him. I have never hurt a animal or a person in my life. Any suggestions are welcome.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Can you soften your body language? Make yourself smaller and less dominant around him? Sit on the floor more, talk in a higher voice. 

Don't yell around the dog - even if your not yelling at him (I'm not reading into that here), if you and the girlfriend yelled at each other - a sensitive dog is going to pick up on that and become very stressed. Especially when they are going through that first year. There's various fear stages and they can be very silly about what spooks them. 

I can totally understand this based on my dog being a submissive piddler - generally with people standing over him. This is something I'm working through with people, getting them to help me train him through this. One guy at my classes made Bertie pee 3 times in the same ten minutes - and the only way he could get Bertie to let him visit with him without peeing was him sitting on the floor and talking in a lighter voice. It's helping and I have hope.  But those goldens I've met who piddle because of excitement or submissive-appeasement - they still do it all through their life. 

I have a neighbor who had a couple senior girls who I knew since they were puppies. And they would pee when they see us coming just to save time. LOL.  

But going back to what I was saying - you recognize what sets him off. That's very important. Best way to handle it is baby steps working him through this issue.


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## Nickyappleseed (Apr 12, 2013)

Thank for the quick response. We have tried everything. He only does it with me. No o e els at all. No other men. When I would sit on the floor he would crawl into my lap and piddle on me. I would get up and walk away. A few times he did it and started crying and running. Again I don't understand it. I have another dog a year 15 moth old rottweiler and never once has she run from me or showed any submissive signs. I don't know what to do because I rent a house and can't have them move in with me and the dog ruin the floors. I need to figure out a way to remedy this so I can continue on with my relationship and my life. We have also tried various training classes . and all the trainer says to me is what did you do to your dog to make him hate you? This isn't my first dog neither I have had 2 boxers and another rottweiler. Unfortunately they passed but never had these issues. I also trained my mother's dogs and again no issues. Only with this very sensitive golden.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Something happened that frightened him badly. Does he react this way to other men? Regardless of where this started, you are doing a good job of identifying what sets him off, so you can see situations where you can do something different to try and change his reaction.

I have no idea if this would help or be advisable in this situation, but I would almost say tether him to you whenever you are home so he has to stay by you and move with you. This technique usually creates a good bond and starts the dog looking to you for direction. But again, I'm not sure it applies to your situation. 

When I have had fearful foster dogs we slowly removed their ability to move away or hide from us. For instance, a dog that hid in their crate, we would start closing the crate so they couldn't go in and hide, then even close the door to the room the crate was in so they were staying in the room with us. And also use the tethering to me to get them to comfortable near people.

I think you should locate a certified animal behaviorist for a consultation.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Please keep trying with him though. I think you need to change your approach and not walk away from him when he pees. Sit down on the floor, let him come to you if he will. If he does and he pees, don't get up and walk away, it may seem to him you are angry and make him more afraid. You may get wet, but hopefully with more professional input it will get better, and you being there with him and NOT reacting will help.


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## itried (Jan 6, 2013)

I feel like a lot of bonding is in order here. Whatever happened that traumatized Marley has somehow severed the bond a little. Perhaps some training will help to rebuild trust? Kiki had me frustrated for weeks because she was actually pretty aloof to me when I first got her, keep trying!


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

If he is that afraid of you I would not suggest tethering him to you, he needs to feel safe, and if that means keeping his distance (for now) that is what he should be allowed to do.
I will relate how I worked with my (rescued) dog who came to me afraid (terrified) of people in general. It took a ton of patience and a lot of self control (on my part) and allowing him to have 'control' of the situation. 
I was careful to avoid eye contact, it can feel threatening to them.
Avoided approaching him 'head on', if I needed to walk past him, avoided eye contact and gave him as much space as I could (he would usually move away in the beginning (but that was okay).
When I came into a room he was in, or he entered the room I was in, I would look away from him.
Resisted the urge to reach and pet (it was tough) even if he came close enough.
I carried high value treats on me at all times, (meat, cheese, hot dogs) and if he approached me, I would avoid eye contact and slowly hold a treat out in my hand, if he did not take it from me, dropped on the floor and moved away. I would toss treats to him while sitting in a chair, often sat on the floor, tossing treats until he gained enough courage to come close enough to take them from my hand. Once he was taking treats from my extended hand I switched to peanut butter/yogurt/canned dog food smeared on my palm, something that would take a little more time for him to eat and slowly decreased the distance my hand was held out. Over time he would allow me to pet him under the neck, while he licked the treats from my hand. It was all about building trust, allowing him the freedom to choose whether to interact or not, and rewarding him heavily when he did. Being careful to avoid threatening (to him) gestures eye contact, reaching for him, approaching him head on, and above all else - kept my emotions in 'check' - if he sensed/perceived frustration or anger (even though it was never directed at him, I swear) it would renew his 'fears' and cause a 'set back' in his progress. 
Once he was readily taking treats from me, through lure and reward, I began to teach him the basic skills all dogs should have, and rewarding any behaviors that I liked. Helping him learn (with positive methods - no corrections) what was expected of him, helped to build his confidence and his trust in me. He has been with me for over four years and we have built a bond and trust that goes beyond anything I could ever have hoped for in the beginning. 
You may not have to start where I had to start, since he does have a good 'history' with you, (pre-neuter). Spend as much time with him as possible, having another dog who does trust you around, can be helpful in 'showing' him that he can trust you. Also try to spend time with him one-on-one, be very patient, and let him 'decide', whether it means eating high value treats off the floor at a distance of 10 ft., or taking them from your hand, allow him to tell you what feels 'safe' for him. When the time comes use positive training methods to 'teach' and interact with him, when a dog's trust has been broken, (for whatever reason) it is very easy to damage that trust, once it has been earned. We need to consistently show them by how we 'behave', not only that they CAN trust us, but that we are predictable and 'trust worthy'.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

I really like Charliethree and Mylissyk's advice. 

Bear went through a few stages where he was either an excited pee-er or he did submissive urination. There was even a stage when he peed out of fear (less submission, and more just HOLY COW! I'm SCARED!!!!). 

With his excited peeing, it happened when he was younger, and we would try to void his bladder before any situation where we could get excited. He still peed on so many people greeting them. He eventually grew out of that. 

During his various fear periods, he went through a urination response period. When strangers approached us as night, he would curl around my leg and pee on my shoe... then go greet the stranger. I just kept washing my clothes and shoes in vinegar and ignoring the urination. 

The worst fear period we had was when he suddenly became terrified of my husband. I think it was around 10 months old. Anyways, if my husband called him, approached him, tried to put his collar on, anything Bear would squat and pee. My husband hadn't done ANYTHING to cause it. So we got some great advice from Charliethree on that issue, and we worked diligently on it, and as time progressed, the fear went away. We also did a bunch of confidence building games, like tug, to help him feel more secure in the world. 

I wish you the best! Please keep us updated as you work with your pup.


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## Nickyappleseed (Apr 12, 2013)

Hey all thank you for all the great advice. Today was the first day he is back in the house with me after 2 months. We have only seen each other for a minute or 2 in the 2 months a few times. All times a bad reaction from him. The second he say me and the other dog he lived with here he went crazy licking me and loving me. He has only got scared and ran once or twice the whole day and I layer on the floor with a treat and called him to me and gave him the treat cuddled with him and pet his belly. He hasn't urinated on the floor out of fear so far. So let's hope it continues. I'm avoiding eye contact and giving him constent love. It feels great to have my boy home again. I will keep you all updated.


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## Nickyappleseed (Apr 12, 2013)

Everything is going good day 3 with him here only had one accident and it was because I ran in the liveingroom too fast for the front door and we connected eyes I missed my boy and hope everything stays good. Tons and tons of Bo ding and positive reinforced training too come  ty for the advice all Instagram


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Years ago my husband and I rescued a 10 month old GSD. She was so afraid of her own shadow that she would pee submissively if we praised her or raised our voice. She would get scared when my husband would be screaming at the TV watching his favorite sports teams. We learned that during these games, he had to stay calmer, not yell, no extreme body language. It took about a year for her to stop the submissive peeing.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

Nickyappleseed said:


> Everything is going good day 3 with him here only had one accident and it was because I ran in the liveingroom too fast for the front door and we connected eyes I missed my boy and hope everything stays good. Tons and tons of Bo ding and positive reinforced training too come  ty for the advice all Instagram


That's great ! 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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