# We lost Kerosene this morning :(



## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

I never thought it would be me on the other side of this screen writing this in tears instead of reading this in tears. Kerosene wasn't feeling good last night, not really herself. It didn't seem urgent, just unusual. She didn't want to eat or play.. just layed down and drank water. We woke up this morning and she was asleep peacefully on the floor. She had passed away. I don't have any answers. I don't have a reason. I feel like I've let her down. Why didn't I know she was so sick? How was I so oblivious to the fact she needed THAT serious of help? I'm so mad at myself. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I sat there with her for awhile in my lap and just apologized but of course theres that constant reminder RIGHT THERE that sorry wasn't enough this time. Ill never be able to forgive myself. She was going on her 3rd birthday this month on the 27th. I remember everything about the day I picked her up. I watched her birth, I hand picked her.. she was purple puppy.. I still have her hand made birth certificate that says "Tough girl. Love to play rough with brother" .. She was my angel. Help me friends.. this is one of the hardest days of my life.


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## Jax's Mom (Oct 16, 2009)

Oh nooooo....I am so very sorry. Please don't be so hard on yourself. There is no way you could have reailzed she was that sick. I can tell how much you loved this girl, and you did not do anything wrong. Sounds like you thought she just had a upset stomach or something of the sort. Can you get some type of autopsy done to find out what happened? I'm not sure how all that works. 

RIP sweet Kerosene


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## FinnTastic (Apr 20, 2009)

OMG!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say. Don't beat yourself up to much. There was no way of knowing she was that sick if she was just not 'acting herself' for one day. She was so young you wouldn't think it was really serious, I'm sure. I would ask the vets what they think the cause could of been the culprit.
Run Freely Sweet Girl.


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## lucysmum (Sep 2, 2010)

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Kerosene. It must be so hard for you to have woken up and found her.

She went peacefully, she knew how much you loved her and didnt want to upset you any more than she had to.

Whatever it was that took her, was quick and you didnt know she was sick, you arent to blame.

Play strong with the pups at the Bridge.

Rest in Peace Kerosene.


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## lgnutah (Feb 26, 2007)

What can I say, the agony you are feeling is beyond description. There is no way you could have known she was that ill. I would have done the same as you.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

Rest in peace and run free, sweet girl. Our dogs do such a good job of hiding the fact they are sick. And she was so young, so no one would have expected such a serious problem. Kerosene loves you and always will; she doesn't blame you, so don't blame yourself.


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## FinnTastic (Apr 20, 2009)

I agree with ignutah - I would of done the same thing as well.


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## musicgirl (Jul 26, 2009)

Thats so sad =(, i am so very very sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself, if i were in your shoes, i would have done the same. Only you know your dog and just a small unusual behaviour is not something you usually freak out about. thats the only bad thing with having a sick pup, they can't tell you whats wrong. but even if they could, some of them wouldnt know.
you gave her a wonderful life and loved her dearly. she went the best way, i think. peacefully and in a place she was loved.
Stay strong, sending prayers your way!
Rest in Peace Kerosene...Teddy will be waiting to welcome you at the Bridge...


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## GINGIOLA (Oct 14, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. a big hug from us

Federico


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Oh, my God I'm so sorry! Please don't feel guilty - she knows you love her and took care of her. Rest in Peace Kerosene.


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

OH no, i am so sorry for your loss  RIP<3


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## zephyr (Sep 29, 2009)

Oh I am so sorry for your loss!! It sounds as if she passed peacefully in her sleep, at home, I hope you can find a little solace in that fact among your deep sadness. I hope that you can find out what happened (of course only if your family wishes to know)... but ANY of us would have done the same as you last night! You cannot blame yourself, you certainly could not have known anything like this was wrong. {{HUGS}}
RIP sweet Kerosene.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

Jamie, Jill texted me this morning. This is such a shock  I'm so sorry, I just can't imagine what this day is like for you, hon. My mind would be crazy.

{{hugs}}


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## Laurie (Sep 20, 2009)

I'm so sorry for the loss of Kerosene....

RIP sweet girl!!


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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

I am so very sorry! You must be in shock. You could not have known she was so sick from her symptoms. RIP sweet Kerosene.


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## z&mom (Oct 7, 2006)

So so sorry for your loss


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## C's Mom (Dec 7, 2009)

My condolences. Sending you strength.


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## Meggie'sMom (Dec 24, 2007)

How devastating. I am so very sorry. I know you must be in shock - feeling confused and guilty and dazed. That would be natural. I hope you get some answers because I know this could haunt you if you don't. I feel your pain, it is such a deep and continuous hurt. They love us so much and don't want us to worry and so they hide when they aren't feeling well. My thoughts are with you. I wish there was more I could say.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so very sorry. She was so young, and it was so unexpected, you must be in terrible shock and pain. 

Godspeed Kerosene.


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## AmbikaGR (Dec 31, 2007)

Jami I am so sorry. Do not blame or beat up yourself. Deep down you know that if you had any indication something was very wrong whit Kerosene you would have rushed to a clinic. If she went this quick I would be hard pressed to believe there would be much a vet could have done - honestly. Having lost a young dog in a very short time I DO understand a lot of what you are going through. Although the rational side of me - yes I have one Knows there was nothing I could have done, my heart still questions it. 
I know this is not going to make things any better/easier for you, just want you to know there are others that have experienced similar heartbreak and we are here if you need to "talk".


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## NapaValleyGolden (Mar 24, 2008)

So very sorry for your loss...RIP Kerosene


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## blond1155 (May 27, 2010)

SO sorry for your loss. RIP Kerosene.


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## sunflowerkd (Oct 26, 2010)

I know we have all said the same thing. It is true we all speak from our hearts. You know that Kerosene was so aware of your love. For whatever reason it was her time . It absolutely stinks. I would have done the same thing as well. You are in tune to her body don't beat yourself up. I find the Rainbow Bridge section very comforting. I lost my Golden late Sept. Time does help ... Do take care of yourself during this difficult time. It will get better.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Oh Jami, what a tragic shock. I'm so very sorry and will hold your family in my prayers. Godspeed sweet Kerosene. You left way too young.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Jami*

Jami

I am so very sorry about Kerosene-don't blame yourself
You had NO WAY OF KNOWING.
Maybe Kerosene had bloat.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I am so sorry to read this --how shocking and what a horrific loss. This is everyone's worst fear and I'm so sorry it happened to you. I suspect you are searching for reasons and answers to this. Please don't second guess yourself about anything. Rest assured she passed knowing you loved her. Run free sweet Kerosene.


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

Thank you friends. Every word means a lot to me. I know she knew I loved her but on a day like today I can't help but question it. I know that too will go away but it is a very guilty feeling. This is the first animal (personally) that I've ever lost. As much as I want answers I do not want to drag out the heartache. I feel like I owe so much to her though, she went too fast and too young. I had so much more to give her.. I feel like she was cheated. Why did it take her dying for me to hear her pain? Why did it have to go this far


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

OMG, just logged on and saw this. I'm so sorry, what a tragic terrible loss! They are so good at hiding when they aren't well sometimes. Try not to be so hard on yourself, your beautiful Kerosene would not want you to be so mad at yourself. She probably wanted to be able to leave this world from the comfort of her own loving home. RIP sweet Kerosene.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Oh honey,
Sometimes they leave us and they don't show much signs ahead of time. I know you would have taken her in if you had had any idea it was serious.
I do think that it happened so fast that a trip to the vet would not have made a difference in the outcome. It would have helped you though.
We give them all our love and it just hurts so hard to see them leave. I'm so glad Kerosene went peacefully. That is the last gift they can give us.
I lost my old boy a couple of weeks ago. He seemed fine and then very suddenly he wasn't. If I had left for work 30 minutes earlier, I would have had no idea.
I know you feel cheated and lost right now, but rest assured you did all you could for your girl.


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## Jazz & Jules (Feb 25, 2007)

Everyone has said everything so elequently so I will just give you a huge huge hug and cry with you dear. I've had this sort of sudden loss and it truly shocks the entire body. For days and weeks to come, you will likely play that last day over and over in your mind, taking your breath away, your body trembling in fear. It's ok. You have so many here to support you and understand your feelings and emotions right now and we will walk with you and hold you up during this terrible journey.


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

I too am sorry for the sudden loss of your Kerosene. May she Rest In Peace.


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## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

Oh Jami.... I wish I knew what to say. As soon as I opened the forum this morning and saw Kerosene's name my heart dropped. I wish I could give you a hug right now.

Does Shelly know yet??


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## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

I'm so sorry and wish I had answers for you. I do understand the beating yourself up part. DON'T do it. I have done the same thing wondering why I didn't see something or wondered if my Ruby suffered and I didn't see it earlier. One thing I've learned from my vet and others is that these things usually happen quickly. For us to beat ourselves up no is of no use. They have moved on and the pain they may have had briefly is gone and forgotten to them. We are the ones that carry it. I will keep you in my prayers.


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## Tahnee GR (Aug 26, 2006)

I am so sorry-no one expects to lose such a young dog. From what you've described, it sounds like the typical thing, where we just wait to see how she feels in the morning. There's no reason to have suspected anything more.

Rest in peace, Kerosene.


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I'm crying reading this because I can feel your pain and heartbreak just from reading your words. I am so so sorry that this happened to you and I know that you did what any one of us would have done in your shoes. How many times have we all had a day where our dogs were acting funny or maybe even throwing up a little just to wake up the next morning and have them be fine and I'm sure you thought she would be fine in the morning. Please don't blame yourself, if you had any idea that she was really sick I know you would have done anything for her and she knows that too. I know getting through this is going to be so hard but we will all be here for you. Play hard at the bridge Kerosene.


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## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

Jami do you plan to have a necropsy done to see what the cause was?


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

Marlene, all of the numbers I have for Shelly arent working  Do you have any idea how I can reach her? Id really like to tell her personally before she reads it on here. You guys are so kind and helpful, beyond words, you understand exactly what im feeling and thats comforting in itself. I look at Diesel and his little heart is broken. He was sleeping right next to her all night.. He knew whatever I didnt.. Im sure he comforted her when she went.. Thats also comforting to me. Keith and I spent the whole morning picking out the perfect spot for her and went and bought her an angel statue. We called her Angel. I also got a shadow box for her birth cert and her collar and her fave toy. I was going to send her to the bridge with them but selfish me needed to hang on to them just a little longer. Ill put them in here shadow box :/ I just want my baby girl back. Im going through moments of "Im okay, its not my fault" to an utter mess of "Im not okay, I let her down" .. I dont feel as though I WAS cheated.. I feel like she was cheated.. You always think that you have time .. I didnt. I dont. I wish I wouldve played harder, snuggled more .. I cant now. Ill be okay in time. Right now my heart just hurts. But THANK YOU GRF FRIENDS for you kind words. They are so comforting to me.


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## mygoldenkids (Oct 4, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. Don't blame yourself. I don't think anyone on this forum would have done anything differently, especially since she was so young. It just goes to show that none of us know how much time we have with our beloved balls of fur and that it is important to be grateful for each loving day they give us.


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## Noey (Feb 26, 2009)

(((hugs))) sorry for your loss, no blame...sometimes it's time and we can't do anything. She was in her home - loved and warm.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard when they are so young.


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

missmarstar said:


> Jami do you plan to have a necropsy done to see what the cause was?


We've already laid her in her final place.. We are taking Diesel and Hoosier in on Monday for a checkup to assure this isn't something were missing. Im so confused. Its all happened so quickly. I honestly do not think I could bare keeping her out and about, Marlene.. I feel like I could die myself as it is. I know she is in a better place, and I can live with that.. I hope.. I think the necropsy wouldve helped me get answers to move forward but then again Im afraid they couldve haunted me to if its something I couldve prevented or helped. I dont want to feel any more guilty than I do. I just want this all to go away


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## davebeech (Feb 11, 2006)

so very sorry to hear of the sudden loss of Kerosene.

RIP Kerosene


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## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

lovealways_jami said:


> We've already laid her in her final place.. We are taking Diesel and Hoosier in on Monday for a checkup to assure this isn't something were missing. Im so confused. Its all happened so quickly. I honestly do not think I could bare keeping her out and about, Marlene.. I feel like I could die myself as it is. I know she is in a better place, and I can live with that.. I hope.. I think the necropsy wouldve helped me get answers to move forward but then again Im afraid they couldve haunted me to if its something I couldve prevented or helped. I dont want to feel any more guilty than I do. I just want this all to go away



I understand completely..  Give those boys a big hug.

Shelly is my friend on Facebook.. I know you don't have an account there anymore, but do you want to PM me your current phone # and I can pass it on to Shelly and ask that she calls you?


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

I DO HAVE FACEBOOK! Let me find you and yes please PM her number if you will  Do you think I am wrong about not getting the necropsy? Its not too late I dont think.. I just dont know what to do


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

lovealways_jami said:


> We've already laid her in her final place.. We are taking Diesel and Hoosier in on Monday for a checkup to assure this isn't something were missing. Im so confused. Its all happened so quickly. I honestly do not think I could bare keeping her out and about, Marlene.. I feel like I could die myself as it is. I know she is in a better place, and I can live with that.. I hope.. I think the necropsy wouldve helped me get answers to move forward but then again Im afraid they couldve haunted me to if its something I couldve prevented or helped. I dont want to feel any more guilty than I do. I just want this all to go away


Don't feel guilty. It is impossible that anything causing this was your fault. Jamie, didn't Kerosene have puppy strangles? How long was she on prednisone? Sometimes long term treatment with pred can cause problems with the digestive tract ie ulcers (rarely) and a decreased ability to absorb minerals, increased absorbtion of fat, and increased risk of pancreatitis. None of this would be anything that you could have caused or prevented. 
It is never easy to lose a pet. I'm sorry you are going through this.


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## esSJay (Apr 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry to hear about Kerosene. That is just way too young, I can understand how devastated you must be. 

Personally I would have done the necropsy just for my own sanity, but only you can tell if you would be comfortable with knowing the results.


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## tessalover (Nov 29, 2009)

I'm so sorry!!! I sit here in tears knowing EXACTLY how you feel!!! And I HATE it more then anything my life!! 
I lost my sweet Tessa on October 22nd, 2010 and it still feels as though it happened yesturday. She was my baby! I loved her, but it was time for her to go home to be with Jesus.


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## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

lovealways_jami said:


> I DO HAVE FACEBOOK! Let me find you and yes please PM her number if you will  Do you think I am wrong about not getting the necropsy? Its not too late I dont think.. I just dont know what to do



No that is entirely a choice that is yours... and neither choice would be wrong!

I posted my facebook link to your visitor message wall, go ahead and add me then you should be able to search for Shelly in my friends!


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

OMG, HOW HORRIBLE, are you going to have a autopsy done, so you know?


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I posted before i read everyones post, spelled wrong also, i feel so bad foryou, and her.


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## nixietink (Apr 3, 2008)

Jami, I am so sorry for your loss. How devastating for you...you are in my thoughts.


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## Looni2ns (Mar 26, 2010)

Jami, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes, God knows things that we don't, and he made the decision that was best for Kerosene. Kerosene knew she was loved, and that she will be in your hearts forever. She went peacefully while she was at home with her family. 

Rest in peace, Kerosene. Have fun playing with all of our kids are at the Bridge with you. 

((((( HUG )))))


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## MILLIESMOM (Aug 13, 2006)

Three years old or thirteen the loss of a beloved friend is just as traumatic. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

Pointgold said:


> Don't feel guilty. It is impossible that anything causing this was your fault. Jamie, didn't Kerosene have puppy strangles? How long was she on prednisone? Sometimes long term treatment with pred can cause problems with the digestive tract ie ulcers (rarely) and a decreased ability to absorb minerals, increased absorbtion of fat, and increased risk of pancreatitis. None of this would be anything that you could have caused or prevented.
> It is never easy to lose a pet. I'm sorry you are going through this.


No, she didn't have strangles. I believe that was another member (im sorry I dont remember her name) who got the pink puppy from this litter.


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## Lisa_and_Willow. (Dec 18, 2007)

What a horrible shock. I am so sorry for the loss of Kero.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Jami, I am so very sorry for your loss of Kerosene. How traumatic for you. It may have been some kind of heart problem no one could have known about.. that happens to athletes and other people often. You are in my prayers. Godspeed dear Kerosene.


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## Abby (Aug 17, 2010)

Oh god- I'm so sorry. 
How could it have happened? Were there no other signs?
She was so young and full of life. Don't feel guilty. She lived a happy, though short life. 
Are you going to get an autopsy?


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss. If they lived for 20 years, it would still be too short. I think you have to follow your heart about a necropsy. She is at peace now, let her rest.


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## janine (Aug 8, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss...you and your sweet Kerosene are in my thoughts.


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## Braccarius (Sep 8, 2008)

Penny's Mom said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. If they lived for 20 years, it would still be too short. I think you have to follow your heart about a necropsy. She is at peace now, let her rest.


They say that a dogs short life is god's mercy upon man.... for what if a dog lived 40 years? I say that the loss is felt as much no matter the timing when you truly love something. In 3 short years, I would be just as forlorn as if it were 30.

My heart breaks for you....


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## West (Jul 9, 2010)

Jami, I'm really sorry for your loss. Sometimes these things happen and it's nobody's fault. It's just the way of life. My first pet as an adult was a white cat. I loved him to pieces. One day I took him to be neutered, knowing full well it was an easy routine surgery with hardly any complications. When I returned to pick him up I was told he'd died. He was a year and 3 months old. I was devastated and blamed myself for everything. But it was nobody's fault. He had a cardiac condition that I couldn't have known about.
What I'm trying to say is that it was not your fault. I know you are grieving and what you're going through now is extremely hard, but you loved her and gave her a great life. Her years in this world were happy. And now she's at peace and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to punish yourself.
I send you a big hug. You'll always remember her, but try to focus on all the wonderful moments you spent together.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

oh no, what a heartbreak......my deepest sympathies Jami.


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## jwemt81 (Aug 20, 2008)

How awful. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

Oh, my goodness, Jami - what a shock this must be. I remember your posts about bringing Kero home. I am so sorry for your loss . . .


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

lovealways_jami said:


> No, she didn't have strangles. I believe that was another member (im sorry I dont remember her name) who got the pink puppy from this litter.


Thanks. Just wracking my brain for any possible cause. None of which you can blame yourself for.


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## twinny41 (Feb 13, 2008)

So very, very sad for you. But you were not to know, dogs have off days! No-one here would have done anything different so grieve for your beautiful girl but do not blame yourself. Sleep with the angels sweet Kerosene x


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

JAMI, again i want to say how sorry i am, what if she got into something, and your other dogs, could possible be at risk, this may not be the case, but for myself, since she was so young, i would always wonder what killed her.


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## pwrstrk02 (Aug 11, 2010)

An unexpected loss of a pet is a hard one to absorb. I'm sure you know deep down that there was no more that you could of done. I hope soon that you will be at peace with yourself. Nothing I could say right now can ease the pain or make you feel better about the situation, but remember her life in happiness, remember her. 
RIP young girl.


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## KissOfGold (Mar 23, 2010)

jamie i don't know what to say my heart is broken for you.. please know that i send my thought's and prayers to you

RIP baby girl look down on your momma


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## KissOfGold (Mar 23, 2010)

Hunter is her brother and he had puppy strangles when he was a baby


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

Jami, my heart breaks for you...I am so sorry. Its so hard....please do not blame yourself, it was your sweet girls time, and remember, we are not in charge. Sending you hugs and prayers......


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Jami,

I am so sorry about the loss of Kerosene. My heart is breaking for you and Keith for the pain you are now going thru as I know that pain. Kero would not want you blaming yourself over what happened. If it was me, I dont think I would have the necropsy done. It would not change what happened or change your pain. It might give you some answers but to me is it worth it? 

You gave her that name of Angel for a reason and now she is an Angel at the bridge playing with all of our pups. Beau and Ben will keep her happy playing with her until you can meet each other again. And Hooch will be there to play with her.


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## Augie's Mom (Sep 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry to hear of your devastating loss of Kerosene, my deepest sympathies to you and your family.

As everyone has said you have nothing to feel guilty about, there is no blame.

(((HUGS)))


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

So very sorry for you loss of sweet Kerosene. What a tragic loss at such a tender age. Sometimes they just don't let us know when they are sick. Don't beat yourself up.


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## k9mom (Apr 23, 2009)

you don't know how sorry I am for you. My golden girl left me yesterday. I hurt for you. I feel I let nugget down also. I'm so very sorry. I thought loosing nugget was hard, butt living without her is harder. 

My daughter found a sight that you can light a candle every monday at 9pm central it is called petloss.com I haven't checked it out yet but I will.


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## The Trio (Apr 24, 2010)

Jami,
Words will never help what you are going through. I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is the greatest tragedy in your world to lose your beloved Kerosene, but she will never be gone. Not while you remember her. She will live on forever in your heart and memories. Smile when you remember her and cry for her leaving, but remember you will see her again. The Trio (Max, Morgan, and Teddy) and I (Laura) are praying for you. Only G-d knows why he calls them home so soon. Our golden angels. Hugs.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I agree - if she went that fast, it was probably nothing the vet could have done. Chances are she made it easier for you by going this way, instead of you having to make the decision to send her to the bridge.

I am so sorry for your loss - I remember when you first posted about her. give Diesel some extra loving, I am sure he is mourning too.


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## olik (Apr 13, 2008)

Ohh,no!!!How sad!!!So young!!!I am so sorry!Big hugs from all my family


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## 2golddogs (Oct 19, 2009)

I am so very sorry. So tragic to lose her so young. I hope you find comfort in knowing she was not alone when she passed. She was home with her loving family. Rest in peace sweet Kerosene.


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## MilosMommy (May 24, 2010)

My heart breaks for you  I can't even imagine. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a hug from me & Milo.


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## Maggies mom (Jan 6, 2006)

Jamie, Im so sorry for your loss.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Jami*

Jami

Words cannot express my sympathy about Kerosene.

I know she is being taken care of by Snobear and by all of our pets at the
RAINBOW BRIDGE!!


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## Murphysmom (Nov 2, 2009)

I am just so sorry for your loss. I would have done the same thing, you just don't expect anything like that to happen.

RIP Kerosene


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## puddinhd58 (Jan 15, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up on top of your grief. There was no way for you to know. 
My prayers are with you.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so sorry Jami.


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## Merlins mom (Jun 20, 2007)

Jami, I am so sorry. I know I would probably feel the same way you do, but there is no way you could have known. I would have done the same thing you did. Sending hugs your way. {{{{}}}} Rest in peace Kerosene.


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

I just love you guys. Thank you. Today has been a bit easier... not easy, just not as tragic as yesterday. I can't tell you how much reading this has helped. It brings me to tears to read my post from yesterday.. those feeling just come pouring back. She wont be forgotten. Thanks guys!


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## KiwiD (Jan 14, 2008)

So very sorry to hear about Kerosene.


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## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

I am so sorry. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. I would have done the same thing as you. Please don't hold yourself responsible but know you gave her a loving and happy home. My most sincere condolenses.


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## jealous1 (Dec 7, 2007)

Jami--just saw his and am so sorry to read of your loss. It is so hard to lose them and three years is just so young. I agree w/ everyone else that there is no way you could have known or your vet could have done anything for something that took her so quickly, so please don't beat yourself up. Take comfort in that she knew you loved her, would not have picked anyone else but you, and your memories of her.


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## goldyjlox (Jun 27, 2010)

So sorry for your loss, I lost my first golden Boy 3 1/2 weeks ago. I feel your pain, I shed tears for you now knowing the pain you are going through. I hear it is suppost to get easier, not sure when that happens but I am waiting for it. I miss my boy lie crazy. She is at the bridge running around with all our golden boys and girls, RIP Kerosene


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## Susan1253 (Apr 12, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. It's so difficult to determine what is happening with our canine companions. We could always feel guilty if it wasn't for the fact that we know we are not guilty, right? You loved your Kerosine and you did your best. That is all you can ask of yourself. 

Life is finite. It ends. It's a blessing when it ends peacefully as did Kerosine's.

You're in my prayers for your own peace of mind.

Sue


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

Jami, I am so sorry! I am in tears as I right this as I know how much you love all of your dogs. Kera was so beautiful and sweet. Don't blame yourself sweetie, it is NOT your fault. You would give anything and everything for your dogs, I have witnessed it. I can tell you that goldens have a way of hiding their pain and discomfort. I have visited a friends 15 year old golden boy who's body is being consumed with cancer among other ailments and he still wags his tail and jumps up to see me whenever I visit. If I weren't able to visually see the mass on his side and the white around his old face, I would think he were still a pup. Jami, I only met her the one time for a few minutes when I met up with you to give you Hoosier (sorry I can't remember his new name). She had those typical golden melt your heart eyes and she would have done anything to spare you this pain. She was the same age as Scout, I can't imagine what you are going through, but know that we are all hear for you. 

Kera run free.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I am so very sorry. But do not blame yourself. My buck died mych the same way. He wa not feeling well that night and i even slept in his room with him. But i didn't think it serious. But he died that night.

Like you i wondered if i had let him down, but i know that is not the case. Dogs and children do fell bad all the time and we don't rush them to doctors . There wa sno indication that he needed to go to emergency. And i know it was the same with your girl. Do not blame yourself. Just remember all the great times you had together.


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## KellyH (Sep 5, 2010)

I have nothing more to add except to echo everyone's sentiments here. I feel for your loss. I'm sitting here crying. It must be so devastating. I just hope that knowing you have so many people here who are truly empathising with you right now might help a little. Bless sweet little Kerosene. All our Rainbow Bridge dogs are waiting for her. Sending healing hugs.


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## GeorgeM (Oct 6, 2010)

I was in your shoes four weeks ago when we lost our Newton. He too left us in the night, in his sleep in what appears to be peaceful. After the sobbing subsided, the questions of what could I have done to predict or prevent this from happening. We tried to identify any little sign that could have given us the clue that he was sick but this beautiful boy gave us no real indication. He did have a intermittent gag a couple times but got over it and seemed fine, nothing that would have warranted rushing to the Vet. He seemed happy, eating well with the exception of his last night. I think I may have felt similar to what you are feeling over Kerosene and my heart truly goes out to you. The bottom line is that we both would have done all we could for our dogs if only we had the opportunity.


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## shamrock0719 (Nov 1, 2010)

I am sooo sorry1  I lost my 1st golden (Shamrock) 2yrs ago in much the same way. I played with her in the a.m. before work and then when I got home she was sick and had vomited. Thought she ingested something. Rushed her to emergency vet hospital but she died right there. I thought it was her heart. Recently, a vet oncologist told me more than likely it was a cancerous tumor on her spleen. She said more than likely she could not have been saved. I know you have many questions but know that you gave her a good life which is what all goldens live for!


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## marshab1 (Aug 28, 2006)

So sorry to hear this. You did everything that you could and should. No reason to feel the least bit guilty. She obviously went peacefully and if they have to go, that is the way we would want it.


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## younggtx (Jan 30, 2009)

Jami,
I'm so sorry about Kerosene tragic loss, there is never the right time for her to go. My deep condolences to you and your family. 
Please don't blame yourself, I have done that when my BEAU passed away two years ago. Give yourself sometimes, in time all those memories you have with her will become treasure. Give some thoughts, and time will heal all wounds.


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## riddle03 (Jun 9, 2005)

I am just now reading this and I am so sorry. Being a RVT honey, I would have done the exact same thing. Run free - play hard and sleep softly sweet Kerosene. You will see her again someday - hold on to that.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So sorry that this has happened - if only we had the luxury of hindsight. Ours dogs are so stoic at hiding pain or illness, when we lost Kelly our first golden she stopped eating one day and within 2 days we had sent her to the bridge, she had lung and liver cancer, but she gave us absolutely no sign whatsoever up until she stopped eating. I questioned myself for weeks and months afterwards and always the answer was the same we could not have known.

Sleep softly Kerosene


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## ELI&BAILEY'S MOM (Dec 18, 2008)

I am so, so sorry. Rest in peace sweet Kerosene.


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## NuttinButGoldens (Jan 10, 2009)

You can't be hard on yourself. Sometimes there's no way to know when something is wrong.

My first Golden, Rusty, was a similar situation. One morning he ate, went outside, chewed his bones, and was totally normal. He had no symptoms anything was wrong, at all, leading up to that day.

That night when I got home, he was down for the count in the middle of the living room floor. I called the Vet and she stopped by. He was too big for me to move. She listened to his chest and said he had to go to the emergency room right now. She and her husband used a doggy gurney to get him into my truck. I took him to the Emergency hospital.

He did not come home. They took x-rays, and his chest was full of cancer.

He never gave a single symptom to me until an hour before he died.


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## Swanolck (Jan 17, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Chelseanr (Oct 3, 2010)

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss :[ At least it sounds like she went peacefully with a good warm friend close by.


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## Duke's Momma (Mar 1, 2007)

I cannot believe I'm reading this! OMG, how horrible and I'm just so sorry. Words escape me. This is truly the worst nightmare for you and one that none of us want to ever experience and here you are right in the middle of it. I guess the one consolation might be that she must have gone very peacefully. Bless her heart and yours............

I can't type.  I'm just so so sorry.


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## FranH (May 8, 2005)

I'm so sorry to hear of Kerosene's passing. So sad and too young


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

I am so sorry to read this - if I were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing. We usually give our babies a night to feel better - especially if it seems that it isn't too serious. I hope you find a way not to blame yourself. Our sympathies go out to you and your golden.


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## K9Jessie (Nov 6, 2010)

I am sorry for your loss.

Rest In Paradise Keronsene.


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## Augustus McCrae's Mom (Aug 14, 2007)

What a shock. I'm so sorry Jami.


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## wyldeflower (Aug 11, 2010)

It was a lovely way to go at peace but so very sad .


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## sadiegold (Nov 3, 2010)

So sorry and sad for you today. Only way to make it thru today is remember that three great years were due to you, and that your baby knew nothing but love. I think I would need an autopsy too as I feel like I have control if I know answers but unfortunately control isnt always up to us!


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## Blaireli (Jun 3, 2008)

Jami, I'm so sorry to hear about sweet Kerosene's passing. It just doesn't seem real. Big hugs - keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

Oh dear,that is terrible! I am so sorry. Please be kind to yourself, you are a great dog mom.


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## LincolnsMom (Sep 28, 2010)

I'm so very sorry for your loss; it's hard but with time you will only smile when you think of her. She loved you very much and I'm sure is sitting patiently waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.


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## rachelh2000 (Aug 23, 2010)

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's not your fault - if you had known she was that sick, you would've done something. You couldn't have known from those symptoms. Please stay strong!


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