# College Student with Puppy Problems



## coaraujo (Nov 2, 2012)

First, take a step back and breath . 

Are you crate-training your puppy? That would be my first recommendation. Dogs don't want to mess where they sleep, so while you're gone for class for 5 hours, if he's in his crate he should be okay. Make sure you get a pee and a poo out of him before you put him in though. 5 hours is a long time for an itty bitty puppy - but it can be done. Play crate-games with your puppy to get your puppy excited and loving his crate. When at home, I would possibly tether your puppy to you that way you can ALWAYS keep an eye on the puppy. At this age you need to always be watching the puppy, if you can't it should be in its crate. Otherwise accidents are bound to happen and he could get into things that could be potentially dangerous. This might help with your situation with your family too. 

Your puppy doesn't need the whole house to run around in, pick a room you spend most of your time and keep him with you in there. Accidents are bound to happen with a puppy - go get some nature's miracle and thoroughly clean up the accidents. This will help with your puppy not repeating accidents in the same place and hopefully will make your parents feel better when accidents happen. Make sure you reward and praise heavily when your puppy goes potty outside. Lots of high value treats and dancing around. When not in the crate bring your puppy out often - after meals/drinking - after play - after napping. Every 30 minutes to an hour. They don't have bladder control yet, so if they're not in their crate they're going to have to go often. 

That being said - it gets easier. As they get bigger they can hold it longer and you don't have to be rushing in and out so often. But you have to make sure you teach them where the correct place is to potty. There are a lot of threads on potty training if you need help - do a quick search. 

Also, puppies get tired very quickly and take a lot of naps. Try to take advantage of this so that you study while your puppy is sleeping. Do a lot of training - its never too early to teach commands. Start working on recall training. Running across the living room to you will tire out your puppy and start the foundation for a great recall. Get some puzzle toys (like a toy that you fill with treats and the puppy rolls around to get the treats out). This will occupy the puppies time and tire him out while you're studying. Training tires out the brain which tires out the puppy. 

It doesn't sound like it was the best timing for you to bring a puppy into your life. My personal view when it comes to bringing home a puppy is that you make a commitment to the dog to give it the best possible life for the duration of its lifetime. Its not a toy that can be returned when things get tough. If you think that the puppy is in a safe and healthy environment (not getting yelled at and abused) then I say stick with it through the stress. Life is hard, but you made a commitment when you brought this puppy home. I think if you stick it out and work through it you'll be a better person for it. When things get tough in life you can't run away - stare those challenges in the face and say screw you - I've got this! It sounds like your family situation is pretty tough right now. Maybe this puppy is exactly the outlet you need. When family life is stressing you out - go take your puppy for a walk and get away. I wish you the best of luck! 

:wave: From a fellow college student with 2 Golden pups. Proof that it can be done!


----------



## golden_732 (Aug 26, 2013)

I completely agree with Coaraujo.

Nawit- It definitely gets easier. I have a 5 month golden puppy (I'm a recent college grad). Puppy's are definitely a lot of work but it gets easier. They learn a lot about their environments in the first couple weeks. My little guy is my second golden, so I had a little bit to go off of, although both my boys were completely different. 

I also recommend crate training and not letting your golden have complete roam of the house. Our house is both hardwood and carpet and I purchased baby gates to section off the carpeted area's. When I was home, my little guy was allowed to only be in the hard wood areas (makes for easier clean up). He was crate trained and slept in his crate at night. During the day, when I was out of the house, he was confined to the mudroom (a laundry room would work). It gave him a little bit more space than the crate and yet it made for easy clean up, as I put down newspaper and potty training pads. 

Also, goldens are extremely fast learners. I have a bell hanging up on the back door and it only took about a month to train my guy to ring the bell to go out. Every time he successfully went potty outside, he got a small treat (usually freeze dried liver). He will be 5 months old tomorrow and I don't think he has had an accident in the house since he was 12 weeks. 

Do you have a schedule for your puppy? Having a schedule really helps with potty training. Feeding him, training him, playing with him, and taking him out at the same time everyday really helps make potty training easier. It helps the puppy understand that there is a routine as well. You'll be surprised how quickly they catch on.

Having a puppy takes a commitment and is definitely tough, but a lot of fun at the same time. I ended up deciding to take a year off between undergrad and grad school so I could give a full year to my pup and ensure his foundations were strong.


----------



## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Hey Nawit,

Sounds like you need to crate train your pup. It's never too late to start, and you're only a week in. My parents brought their own Golden pup home on Saturday, so they're on almost exactly the same schedule as you. I wrote them two articles so far on my blog about puppy training, one which specifically deals with crate training, if you want to check it out. I also wrote one on what you need to do before you get your puppy that might have some good tidbits for you. I'm going to be posting articles every Sunday on dog care and training, specifically focused around my parents' dog's needs, so it might be helpful to you.


----------



## MyBuddy22 (Oct 29, 2010)

I totally recommend crate training as well. It makes everything so much easier, and they feel secure. Section the crate off to make it smaller at first, then make it bigger as the puppy grows. You can buy inserts for the crate, or I just made my own out of cardboard. They wont go potty in their crate, unless they are desperate. 

He will whine at first at night...We used to add warm (not hot)2 liter bottle bottle and put a sock around it, we put it in the crate with Bauer and he would fall right asleep thinking it was a littermate he was sleeping by. 

I set my alarm to wake up around 3 and then when I woke up in the morning. Carry him directly out, dont let him walk. LoL..... put him in the yard to potty. big praise when he goes potty outside. 

Have fun with your puppy, don't stress. He is going to be mouthy, he is a golden just keep showing him toys instead of your hands. Goodluck its so worth it when they mature! Best dogs ever.

ps- look on craigslist you may be able to find a good price on a used crate.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Thank you both for your comments. Your words are logical and are making me think differently. This definitely was not the best time for me to bring a pup into my life but I only realized how tough it would be after the fact.

As for crate training, I just let him stay in my room. He considers my room his "crate". Amazingly, he will never go potty inside my room (which is where he sleeps and spends most of his time). He usually wakes me up around 5:30 to go potty then I try to bring him back in to sleep again but sometimes he just sits and refuses to come back in. 

As for schedule usually I take him out at 5:30, go back to bed, feed him at 8, take him out around 9 before I go to class. Then I'm at class where I ask my dad or step mom to take him out, but they usually don't want to help. Get back around 2-2:15. Feed him, take him out to play. Then I let him roam the house a bit (and I constantly worry that something is going to happen). Feed him again around 6ish take him out around 7 to see if he has to go potty and then keep him in my room for the night. 

I try everything I can to make sure he doesn't pee inside but I know it is bound to happen. Everytime he goes potty outside I praise him and throw a freakin party and give him some kibble. Should I use more valuable treats? 

Also, I find myself expecting too much from both Ace and myself. I want everything to be perfect and if its not I blame myself and thereby add stress onto my already heavy load. He knows how to sit, stay, lie down, and come when we are in my room. If we go outside he listens sometimes but is easily distracted by noises, people, and smells around him. I get upset and frustrated expecting more from him but he is only a puppy. Then again, I just can't help that feeling. I am a perfectionist. 

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated in order to help me raise this pup to the best of his potential. I just hope I can cope with the stress until things get a bit easier. 

Thank you all again. I really appreciate all of your help. It means a lot to me and I am so happy I found this website. 

Cheers,
Nawit


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I won't repeat what everyone else has said, just agree that if you put the time and effort into taking care of the puppy it can work, and it will get better.

The only think I want to add, is are you sure the puppy is safe and being treated kindly by your dad and his wife when you are not there? That is of paramount importance. If the puppy is being treated harshly by them, you need to really consider the best interests of the puppy.

I think you picked the wrong time to get a puppy, but you have him now and you can make it work with a lot of effort.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

mylissyk said:


> The only think I want to add, is are you sure the puppy is safe and being treated kindly by your dad and his wife when you are not there? That is of paramount importance. If the puppy is being treated harshly by them, you need to really consider the best interests of the puppy.


My dad loves the dog just as much as I do but just gets frustrated with him when he goes potty in the house. I told my dad not to yell or anything. Usually, I just leave Ace in my room from 9:20 to about 2 when I get back. I ask my dad to take him out if he gets a chance.


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Nawit said:


> Thank you both for your comments. Your words are logical and are making me think differently. This definitely was not the best time for me to bring a pup into my life but I only realized how tough it would be after the fact.
> 
> As for crate training, I just let him stay in my room. He considers my room his "crate". Amazingly, he will never go potty inside my room (which is where he sleeps and spends most of his time). He usually wakes me up around 5:30 to go potty then I try to bring him back in to sleep again but sometimes he just sits and refuses to come back in.
> 
> ...


One thing I picked up on in this, you should keep him on a leash in the yard, and I would keep him on a leash in the house too when you are giving him some time out of your room. That way you can bring him back in when you need to, and have him right with you to avoid accidents in the house.


----------



## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

Something that I would suggest with a young puppy is that while you are home, have a leash connected from him to you. It allows you to keep a close eye on him and swoop down the second he starts making a mess on the carpet, and it also helps form a bond of closeness between the 2 of you in the first few weeks. He will learn to depend on you completely.

It is 100% (or more) worth the initial effort. You aren't just getting a pet, you are getting a best friend for his entire life. You will come to form a bond that so many people cannot understand. You will be his whole world and he will bring you joy you can't even imagine. A dog (especially a Golden in my opinion) can fill a part of the heart that nothing else can touch. Dogs are work, but every minute, every second is worth it a thousand times over. I can't imagine life without my girls. They are my world.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

mylissyk said:


> One thing I picked up on in this, you should keep him on a leash in the yard, and I would keep him on a leash in the house too when you are giving him some time out of your room. That way you can bring him back in when you need to, and have him right with you to avoid accidents in the house.


That sounds like a good idea. I wanted him to enjoy his freedom when he goes outside. He doesn't run away or go into the street ever so I thought it would be ok. But maybe it is best to use his harness even when I take him out just for a little bit. 

Only issue with that is that when I do take him on walks with his harness, I find him forcefully sitting down and refusing to move sometimes. Not sure if it is out of boredom or being tired. In those cases, should I just tug a bit harder and pull him towards me or try and reward him for following by my side?


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Welcome to the forum!! Brand new puppies are a ton of work! I know I was shish-ka-bobbed and barely surviving and I didn't have nearly as much as you have on your plate. 

Some things to consider; stop worrying about your mom. Sometimes parents and offspring need a break from each other, especially during intense growth periods. This is an intense personal growth period in your life. You've taken a huge step (against her wishes) by getting Ace and have asserted yourself as an adult. Sometimes it takes parents aback. My own mother and I ran into two times where we took breaks from each other; one lasted for a month and the other lasted six months. She got over it. I got over it. Just don't worry about it, let it go. Focus on the other things in your life. 

I do recommend sitting your Dad and his wife down and discuss the situation frankly. Open up the lines of communication so everyone is on the same page. If you know what they expect of you and of Ace, it'll make things easier to accomplish. Hopefully, it'll help clear up the tension and bickering/complaining between the two sides. That should relieve some stress from your shoulders. 

Finally, the puppy!! You've gotten amazing advice about raising Ace. So I don't think I need to add to that. Just remember when you're working with Ace that he is a baby. He won't be perfect. Lower your expectations so you have more patience with him. Puppies won't be considered potty trained until they are at least 6 months old and haven't had an accident in 1 month. Puppyhood is all about bumps and learning and bonding, building routines and relationships. IT'S TOTALLY WORTH IT! But Ace needs your guidance, consistency and training. I highly recommend you enroll in puppy kindergarten. We took an 8 week course that met for 90 minutes on a Saturday. 

I think your routine is good. Our routine was similar. 2 am potty break. 6 am wake-up/potty break. 6:15 breakfast. 7-8 playtime. 8-1 crated w/ a stuffed Kong. 1-5 relax with Daddy time, various potty breaks and playing. 6 dinner. 7-8 playtime. 8 calm down and relax time. 8:30 bedtime. 

Ace doesn't understand the concept of a leash. So I make it a game. I call and bribe him and slowly move along. He picked up on it pretty quickly. Especially when he realized it meant we went places, and experienced new things (like leaves! and twigs! And scents! And people!!!) Don't pull on the leash, because that doesn't communicate anything to Ace. You're going to be learning how to speak dog. Because puppies don't understand English or our language. They will learn commands and words, but not at his age.  

I would stick with using kibble as treats right now. Puppies tummies can be very sensitive.  

Is your front yard enclosed? If not, please please keep Ace on a leash. They can get away so quickly! I don't want anything to happen to Ace. 

That's all I can think of right now. Please post any questions you have. We have a wealth of information here.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

As a fellow student, I can say it gets better. You can read about all the right and safe ways to raise a new puppy, but nothing, absolutely no amount of research can actually prepare you for when the puppy is actually in your home. It's a whole new world you open up when you bring home a new puppy and it's a whole lot more responsibility. The research certainly helps, but when you're actually dealing with it, it feels completely different. I'm lucky though, I have a ton of support and still do in raising Maverick and I am extremely grateful for that as he is the family's dog now. 

It's only been a week and I can understand your feeling of being overwhelmed so maybe you're not thinking too straight either and are having regrets. Heck I was having a bit of regret after 3 days. I think as a young adult, you and I are learning the ropes of life. We've been told all our lives that "life ain't easy" and when we finally get a taste of it (keep in mind we're not even in our careers, at least I'm not) and it all seems to come crashing down all at once. I will tell you it certainly gets better once you find a good balance, and that balance will not be found within the first 2wks I tell ya that. You are in a more difficult position than I was when I got Maverick, I only had 2wks of school left and the summer ahead to raise him, but for those 2wks it was absolute hell; vet appts, little sleep, studying for finals, training/watching Maverick, etc. Yeah the odds seemed to have been against me but I brought it upon myself. I weighed the pros and cons of having a dog and after years of research and decision making, I figured it was the right time. 

A new path is never easy to take, and almost always is rough at the beginning. By getting our dogs we chose a path that could easily take us down 10-15yrs, a huge huge commitment to make as young adults. You've made that same decision and I really think it takes more than a week or two to really figure it out. However, I do not have any issues with my family as you do so I can see why you're so stressed. You're tired from a long week of probably less sleep, long days at school, and you can't really kick back once you get home now either.

Here's my tip for you; take a timeout. On your day off from school or the weekend, take an hour for yourself, just you. Go out and do something you love, for me it was basketball. The end of that first week I went to my local basketball court and shot hoops for a good hour, cleared my mind. After I was done with that, I spent time with Maverick and trained him a bit. The breaks from life really put it into perspective and how to really sort things out. The following week was much much easier for me after that hour of shooting around. 

You go into training and spending quality time with your puppy with a clear mind, it'll show. Have confidence in your training and ability to raise a young puppy into a fine adult dog. Have the confidence that you chose to move out and begin life on your own making adult decision. I don't know the circumstances as to why you moved out, but it is what it is and your family should be there to support, if not, that'll be something you'll have to hash out some other time unless you find family to be more important at this time. Just remember if you're stressed, your puppy will feed of that, it's not healthy for either of you. 

The days may be long, but think of it as, once you get home you got a fuzzy furball waiting for some love at home. The connection between a human and dog is truly special and I now know that after having Maverick in my life. It can be the crappiest day ever, but when I get home, I got this big ol Golden giving me the biggest smile once I walk through that door, tail wagging and all, instant stress relief. 

So keep your head up, it gets better. We all get overwhelmed especially when we venture onto a new path, but in the end it'll be worth it. If you absolutely can't handle it, please contact the breeder or a GR rescue group to ensure that puppy has the best chance possible at finding a loving home. If you have to make that sacrifice don't be disappointed in yourself, just know that it was too much and unfair to the puppy. Down the road should the future allow it there will be plenty more chances to get a dog. 

First week though, I think you're getting through the hardest part. If you still feel the same a month from now, then I would personally consider finding a new home for the little guy so you can get your life sorted out. 

(sorry for the long post)


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

My boyfriend and I are both in college. I'm a senior but will go to grad school for a masters in teaching. My boyfriend is a pre-med student. In June, we brought home a puppy after fostering Labs for over a year. We knew it was going to be hard, and I did a lot of preparation and research. Guess what, it was harder than I thought it would be. The first few weeks we had her home, I was thinking, "WHAT DID I DO?!?!" Sandwich came home with a tapeworm and had stomach problems and puppy diarrhea was a big part of my day. But then it was July, and things really settled down. But only because I made a lot of adjustments. Here's the thing: if you get a puppy, you've basically got a child. You will have to put them first. If you really want to stay warm and snuggly and watch TV, too bad, your puppy needs to run around/go to the bathroom/etc. You'll find that you will make changes.

It's not just about class, but count in studying time, doing errands, socializing with your friends, cleaning your house, sleeping in, showering...you will have to think about what your dog's day will look like as well. 

Sandwich is six months and it feels like we have a very solid bond now. I "loved" her when I picked her out in April, but now, I really, really love her. It's a very different feeling. You really get to know their personality and how it changes and develops. Mine is a really quirky girl.

I don't want to repeat what everyone else says but here are some more tips:
1. Work on training, 10-15 minutes at a time, several times a day. It will keep your puppy from getting bored and boredom leads to destruction. And kibble is okay --- when we potty trained Sandwich, we used high reward treats and she was trained in about five days. We used a less guilt-inducing version of Ian Dunbar's method.

2. Find puppy playmates if possible. You have to be careful when they are young, but maybe you have a resource for meeting other dogs the same age where they can play in a safe area? Look into this. Another dog will tire your pup out much more than you can at this age. A tired puppy is helpful for when you are away AND for when you have a lot of studying to do or a paper to write. 

3. Buy toys, chews, fill Kongs with yummy treats to keep him busy. Replace people shoes or books with their appropriate toy. 

4. Make sure your puppy is getting plenty of time to explore, meet people, watch things. It's definitely hard to do this one, especially if you are in a hurry to get to class. But make time for this. Sandwich will stop and stare at something and I will stand there with her (she's leashed). I remember how mesmerized she was watching the garbage truck for the first time. You don't always have to stop when she stops, you shouldn't, actually, but when they're little, I think they need space and exposure to check out their environment. Plus, she isn't scared nor does she bark at the garbage truck ever. 

5. Do you have any friends who would be willing to help take her to play or just come over and play with her while you are in class? For her first two weeks at home, my boyfriend had to be away on family business, so I was on my own with my first puppy (8 weeks old). I was also working full-time and taking classes part-time. It was a nightmare. Luckily, I was able to call upon friends and people took turns spending time with her while I navigated that whole mess. I was so sleepy then, I can't remember much more!

6. Spend focused time with your puppy, actively playing/engaging with him.

So, yes, it gets easier, but you still have a huge time commitment and financial obligation for over a decade. Sandwich is more independent now which is helpful but we still have to continue to reinforce positive behaviour and give her plenty of exercise. It's a different set of challenges as they age and change.


----------



## Ripley16 (Jan 26, 2012)

I can relate to your situation, seeing as I am also a University student myself handleing a full load of courses. I am now in the 4th year of my degree, but was in the 1st semester of 2nd year when we got Ripley.

I was really lucky, seeing as Ripley was bought for me, but as the family's pet. My father was not on board with getting a new dog, but everyone else was very excited. He was very negative about it for quite sometime. It wasn't that he didn't love the puppy, he just didn't appreciate the destruction to the yard and the hardwood floors among other things. His essential rule was that the puppy was mine, and it was my job to take care of everything, while he reaped the benefits of playing with a super awesome, and cute puppy with no ramifications. Your situation with your dad sounds fairly similar to mine, and let me tell you, it does get better. He did eventually take on a role with her, and is now quite involved. I was lucky that my mom and siblings were on board and constantly taking on roles to help out. I can tell you that when I have had a really bad day at school, or am really stressed out, opening the front door and seeing Ripley running down the stairs to greet me always makes me feel better. Puppy snuggles are the best form of therapy. 

Secondly, Crate training is an absolute must. It gives them a den to go and escape to when they are tired during the day and at night, and also give you a safe place to keep them when you are out or sleeping. We started Ripley with crate training from day one, and it was definitely the right decision. I totally understand that you are trying to create the den like atmosphere in your room, but, potty training is 100% easier when you crate train. Ripley was potty trained in one week. I was very diligent with this though, and did not wait for her to tell me she had to go. I made it my mission to take her out every 30 minutes when I was home, to the SAME SPOT (this is really important because when they go to the spot, they know its time to do business, also its really easy to clean up poop when it is all concentrated into one area). I would also always take him out on a leash for the first while, just until he is consistent with verbal commands. 

The middle of the night wake up calls are the absolute worst and sometimes you feel like ringing that poor puppy's neck due to sleep deprivation. I was in the exact same scenario, and it was really hard. You just have to remember that you won't have to do this for much longer, because eventually they will sleep through the night. Ripley started sleeping through the night at 3 months, and would wait until I was ready to wake up probably around the 4 month mark (so I didn't have to get up at 6 am every morning). 

Balancing school and a puppy is going to be really difficult. I'm not going to lie to you, I had a rough go of it for the first while. It is all worth it in the end. You just have to make sure that you take time for yourself, not surrounding around the puppy. Make sure that you keep on top of your school work because I found that I was so distracted with the new puppy, that I started forgetting about assignments and tests, and would have to rush to study or write my papers at the last minute. It will be okay though, and you will get through it.

I myself also expected way to much from Ripley when she was younger, you just have to adjust your expectations down to their current level. They learn new things everyday, and eventually (with proper training), he will be a great K9 citizen I am sure. 

Has he had any other problems? Any sickness? trouble adjusting? What food is he on? To make your job easier, you always have to remember to fulfill all of his needs to your utmost. A happy puppy is key to an easy transition for yourself. 

I have to say, dog ownership is a big responsibility, pretty much like having a baby (though luckily they grow up much faster ). Even though it is super tough at the beginning, I actually am considering getting my second hopefully going to show you that all of the work is so worth it!

If you have any other questions or anything, don't hesitate to ask! Feel free to PM me. It's always great to have a support system.


----------



## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Puppies teach perfectionists that life is 'messy and imperfect'....and that 'messy and imperfect' is okay and often downright perfect! 

My bit of advice (as a mom and a dog lover) is to follow your puppy's lead and follow the sun! Stay up at 5:30 am when you wake up.....and go to bed earlier. ;-)
Dawns light is quiet and peaceful and great time to get your mind settled and calm before the day's chaos can set in....your puppy will get the best part of you not the frazzled tired part.


----------



## Hina (May 31, 2013)

Looks like you've already received very good advice from the forum members 

Initially, puppy-rearing is overwhelming and stressful. For us, the first two days and following two weeks were hell. I wondered what I got myself into. If it weren't for my extreme love for Hina, I would have given up (I've wanted a golden for YEARS). I'm a first-time dog owner and had so much to learn! 

Hina is almost 7 months now and we've made progress. In addition to the tips suggested by the forum, I would also recommend looking into puppy training classes. Don't worry, things will get better.


----------



## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

"As for schedule usually I take him out at 5:30, go back to bed, feed him at 8, take him out around 9 before I go to class."

You and your puppy should be playing, training, eating and pottying before you leave for class. When you leave for class you want your puppy tired. 

"Then I'm at class where I ask my dad or step mom to take him out, but they usually don't want to help. Get back around 2-2:15"

Unfortunately, you do not have a support system if they do not want to help. You do have to respect that as this is your pup not theirs. It may be easier to get them to take the pup outside for a potty break if they are putting the pup on leash taking the pup to the same place each time (rewarding right there when the pup pottys and then bring the pup right back to your room. (imo, The crate is better than an entire room but there are others on the forum that have used their room without any problems so it can be done.)
In order to make it easy enough to get your step mom and dad to want to help you would also need to follow the same system. 

As you have said you want your pup to have the freedom to run around outside. It really is easier if you separate potty time from outside playtime. Young pups need you to make things easy and very clear. By taking the pup out on leash to the same place each time and rewarding right there, then if you want to let the pup have the freedom to explore and play in the yard you can take the leash off.

Giving pups to much freedom in the house when they are not fully potty trained sets them up to fail. Each time they fail (potty in the house) they can feel your or your parents frustration. They don't understand why but it makes potty training longer and harder for the pup to grasp. 

When the pup is out and about in the house you must supervise (both eyes on pup at all times) engaging in play or training that can be fun also. These first few months you are setting the stage to give the freedom you desire your pup to have but you are training good behaviors for that time. 

The first few months can be time consuming but it is all worth it in the end.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Ripley16 said:


> Has he had any other problems? Any sickness? trouble adjusting? What food is he on? To make your job easier, you always have to remember to fulfill all of his needs to your utmost. A happy puppy is key to an easy transition for yourself.


I have been feeding him the food the breeder gave me and I am slowly mixing in new Purina Puppy chow. No real sicknesses thankfully. Only thing is he will whine and cry a bit throughout the night and it has driven me crazy this week with so many tests too. But I got through it. Usually the crying is because he has to go potty but past couple nights I took him out after his crying thinking that that was the issue and it ended up just sitting outside. I ended up having to pick him up and bringing him inside. 

I am still having trouble with using a collar/harness (right now I am using a harness). Every time I put it on he is reluctant to move or follow me. He goes where he pleases and that is that. Not sure if I should keep asking for advice here, but what could I do to make him enjoy walks and not hate his collar? Maybe follow me instead of him trying to lead or stay behind?

With regards to crate training he is comfortable with going inside the crate now (after a couple days). If I close the door it sits up and looks at me. Whines a little if I am around. If I am not there, he will cry like crazy until he hears my voice or sees me. Still feel bad about crate training but it is probably necessary.

If need be I can take this to PMs. I really appreciate everyone here and am so happy I found all of you great people to give me advice and encouragement. I feel a lot better after reading all of your posts and hope to make Ace the happiest dog in the world. 

Thank you all so much. I will follow up with some pictures during the upcoming weekend. 

Cheers, 
Nawit


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

He is a bit too young to be going on walks, you need to, especially at this young age, associate his collar/harness or any other accessory/tool as a positive experience. Collar on, treat. Harness on, treat. He doesn't have all his shots I'm assuming so he's not quite ready to go out, but you can definitely get the practice inside at home or your backyard. If you want to take the risk of bringing him outside, try to bring him to areas where there isn't alot of dog or animal traffic, and if you do, make sure you give his paws a good wipedown/wash when you get home just to play it safe.

In regards to him not following you, you're not interesting enough. You need to play with him with a good high and happy energy. Use treats, toys, squeaky voice, or whatever to make yourself more interesting. Start building that bond of trust and happiness and it'll pay off in the future. At this stage in his young life, it's much easier to influence than say, 6mo from now when the "terrible teens" begin.

Crate training is an absolute must imo. There are a few owners and dogs that it doesn't work out for, but the majority is crate training is great. From what I've heard and experienced, housebreaking is much faster, less destructive behaviors, and it's their own safe place. Maverick was regularly crated til about 9mo of age and nowadays he barely uses his crate as I usually find him on his bed. I do have a few friends who wished they listened to me about crate training though as proven by Maverick behavior.

What kind of crate you using? I started Mav in a plastic crate, but upgraded him to a wired crate which he seemed to tolerate more. I guess for him it was about seeing what's around him rather than a safe enclosed area. Have you tried throwing a towel over the crate to make it darker? Dogs are naturally den animals, but there are exceptions of course. It's tough that first week but they get used to it. Have you tried crate games with him? Throwing in random treats in his crate throughout the day, throwing toys in there, etc. One thing I think helped Maverick was I put him in the crate for every nap and sometimes while he was completely awake for roughly 5-15min at a time while I was in the same room with him watching tv or something. Completely ignored him and made absolutely no eye contact or anything. Once he quieted down I gave it another 30sec or so and let him out while I had a treat ready and praised him like he won the lottery or something. He was crate trained in almost 2wks, just a little less.

I've only been here a short while but I remember when I was in your position with a new puppy. Members here ate GRF provide more help than I could've asked for, which is why I stick around. They've filled me with knowledge and I'm just hoping to share it with others. This really is a great forum and I hope you stick around to get the advice you need and may not have been looking for, I know I've learned a ton here.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

solinvictus said:


> "As for schedule usually I take him out at 5:30, go back to bed, feed him at 8, take him out around 9 before I go to class."
> 
> You and your puppy should be playing, training, eating and pottying before you leave for class. When you leave for class you want your puppy tired.


I absolutely agree. Tire your dog out before you leave and recognize that they will be ready to play when you get back. 

I assume your pup is 2 months old? I am not sure it's a good idea to leave a 2 month old puppy alone from 9-2 (5 hours). Not just in terms of potty training, but just in terms of attention and company. Your pup just left a social atmosphere with other puppies and his mom and hopefully a breeder who was available to them all day. 



Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

ilovesandwich said:


> I absolutely agree. Tire your dog out before you leave and recognize that they will be ready to play when you get back.
> 
> I assume your pup is 2 months old? I am not sure it's a good idea to leave a 2 month old puppy alone from 9-2 (5 hours). Not just in terms of potty training, but just in terms of attention and company. Your pup just left a social atmosphere with other puppies and his mom and hopefully a breeder who was available to them all day.
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I try to as much as I can. Sometimes he just prefers to sit there and sleep. And when we go outside he doesn't usually listen cause he is so distracted by all the smells and noises so he just ends up sitting or laying down and chewing on something regardless of how much I call him. I try to make it interesting: bring toys, run around, training, but he just likes to sit there a lot. 

There's really nothing I can do with regards to leaving him for that long. I'm pretty sure he is asleep when I leave him but not positive. My family does not want to really help out. Friends are all in college too. And there are no local dog walkers to walk him while I'm at class. Should I consider giving him up? I love him to death but I literally changed my life for this pup (where and how I live). I can't skip class as well, and I see no other alternative. 

I really do love him to death but the more I read these posts the more things I see I'm doing wrong and I feel like I might not be the best parent for Ace. He loves me and I love him but I want him to be a happy (obedient) puppy and the more I read the more I feel like I am incapable of providing that.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Only you can really decide whether to give him up or not. 

I gotta ask, how much time was spent putting thought into having a puppy? Did you get Ace at the time you wanted or did you get him because he was the first available during your "puppy fever"? 

It's very unfortunate your family isn't willing to help out, but it is what it is. I still think you can make this work, you're just stressed from whatever school work you have, family problems, lack of sleep, and a bit of discouragement from unsuccessful training. With your class schedule it is more difficult to create that bond, but it's not impossible, it'll just take a bit more time. 

I didn't feel like the best parent for Maverick that first week either as it was finals week as well. Like I said earlier, it's going to take more than a week to find the right balance and get a good routine going. For now, whatever free time you have, spend it with Ace, even if he isn't paying attention to you being in the same room is enough. 

Hopefully your weekend starts in a few hours if not already and you can take the time to really work with Ace and spend time with him. Clear your mind and make out a plan of what to do. According to your location it's in NY, I think there's gotta be some dogwalker available to walk him and let him out during the day, if not maybe a friend with a more open schedule can, just ask for 20min of their day if possible. 

Hopefully in a week or two you feel less stressed and have a routine down to balance out school and parent duties. We all make mistakes as first time dog owners, I've made a ton, but regret nothing. You're learning as much as Ace is, you're a team and you'll both work through it. Just take it a day at a time and you'll be fine.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

dezymond said:


> Only you can really decide whether to give him up or not.
> 
> I gotta ask, how much time was spent putting thought into having a puppy? Did you get Ace at the time you wanted or did you get him because he was the first available during your "puppy fever"?
> 
> ...


Yeah this past week has been hell but its over and done with. I've been spending a lot of time with Ace the past couple days: taking him outside, training him, running around the field with him. There are times in the day where I have to sit in my room and just study or do some work but I always have him by my side and watch him. His new favorite spot is under my desk while I am on the laptop getting some work done. He usually falls asleep there but if hes up and look and pet him every couple minutes.

With regards to how much thought I put into it, I put a lot, but obviously not enough. I was supposed to get a golden from a family friend and they told me they had a litter coming up. I waited about 4 months and prepared by buying things and researching everything I possibly could. Then they kind of screwed me and sold the puppy to someone else for more. So I found another breeder and drove about 4 hours away for him. 

Honestly, I think it's more the familial stress that is getting to me. I am trying to find a place for myself so at least I don't have to deal with all the extra family stress (mom and I are trying to find a place together).

Ace and I already have a strong bond (at least thats what I feel). He (usually) listens to me and when we go out in the yard he loves to run around and chase me. When I get back from class he is as happy as can be and jumps for joy. I am doing everything I can for this dog and I know I can help him grow into a strong amazing golden. It is just going to take some work.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Yeah this past week has been hell but its over and done with. I've been spending a lot of time with Ace the past couple days: taking him outside, training him, running around the field with him. There are times in the day where I have to sit in my room and just study or do some work but I always have him by my side and watch him. His new favorite spot is under my desk while I am on the laptop getting some work done. He usually falls asleep there but if hes up and look and pet him every couple minutes.
> 
> With regards to how much thought I put into it, I put a lot, but obviously not enough. I was supposed to get a golden from a family friend and they told me they had a litter coming up. I waited about 4 months and prepared by buying things and researching everything I possibly could. Then they kind of screwed me and sold the puppy to someone else for more. So I found another breeder and drove about 4 hours away for him.
> 
> ...


Well it seems you did put alot of thought into it considering you already had alot on your plate. I recall you're a pre-med student so I doubt this was on impulse. It's just to me personally with your schedule and aspirations I'm surprised you found time to raise a puppy. Nonetheless I am here to help, as is the rest of these fine members on this wonderful board. 

I am no expert or psychiatrist, but it does seem the family situation at home is having a significant effect on your stress and doubts in raising this puppy. Pile on the work you're having to do to succeed in school it definitely doesn't sound easy. As difficult as it may seem I still believe Ace can grow up yo be a fine dog and you wouldn't have put yourself in this position if you didn't think you could do it. Glad to hear you're trying to find a place of your own, it'll be a healthier environment, for you and Ace. It'll be a fresh start without the environmental stress. 

I'm pulling for you and Ace, I really am. I hope you find that balance between school and Ace soon. If you're looking for familial support, look at Ace, you brought him into your family. As time goes on the bond between you two will grow stronger and it gets alot easier. 

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## JMME (Jun 18, 2012)

My fiancé and I were lucky enough to get our puppy in June. He was pre-med and I was taking a couple of summer classes and volunteering in a lab to finish a minor for my degree. We had a bit more of a flexible schedule in the beginning and I was finished with my degree after that quarter, but then began working full time. My fiancé had the extra work of doing his own study, being a TA, being a Vice President at a club, and taking a full load of classes. To make it work he rushed home to take the dog out during a short break during class. He was only able to be home after 4 hours for a few minutes, but it was enough to take him out and that made a huge difference. The number one thing that saved us was most def the crate! It was a lifesaver when we were gone because we weren't worried about any accidents and Ripley was much easier to potty train. Also, we tried taking Ripley on short walks. He was also afraid and wouldn't walk on the leash. We first worked on leash training indoors to get him comfortable with the concept and then started taking him outside. He walked best on a leash when he saw our other dog walking or when we walked with a friends dog. Ripley also had the benefit of having our other dog tire him out when we weren't playing with him, so maybe if a friend has a vaccinated dog you could set up some fun play dates to tire him out . Raising a puppy isn't easy and with the stress of doing it alone with the constant worry of your family being upset, I can really see why you would second guess yourself. But it does get better! We felt very stressed and tired for the first few weeks and wondered "what did we get ourselves into?!"...It's a constant worry and you need to constantly be aware of where your puppy is and what he is doing and it can be exhausting! But the end result is so worth it! That bond you have now will only grow and before you know it the horrors of puppyhood will be behind you and you will catch yourself wondering where the time went! This forum is a wonderful resource and I wish you and ace the best of luck . Would love to see some pictures of him!


----------



## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Should I consider giving him up? I love him to death but I literally changed my life for this pup (where and how I live).


Only you can decide whether or not to keep your puppy, but I will say this.. I waited until the perfect time to get my puppy. I had my own apartment and was not going to burden anyone who didn't want anything to do with a puppy. I also moved in order to accommodate a puppy. Mine and my boyfriend's work schedules were staggered so my pup wouldn't be home alone for more than 2.5 hours a day. That was just the beginning. Now (and this will go on indefinitely), I dedicate a lot of time and money on obedience and field training (although to be fair, I do have a lot of time at this point and no other obligations). I even had to get a new car for field training. I consider it my "job" to take her on hikes/romps every single day. Maybe I am a crazy dog lady but I have pretty much changed my life for my girl and I am not complaining.. I would do it all over again and more. My BF's life has changed too, and he is loving it as much as I am. I am 100% dedicated to her. 

Not to be mean or insulting, but I think if you had researched enough, you would have expected and prepared for the worst. I read so many puppy threads on this forum; I literally thought I was going to have a hell puppy, urinating and defecating everywhere, chewing everything, destroying clothes, eating walls, biting me, etc. Molly wasn't even close, but I know I lucked out.

It does all get better, but it takes time and a lot of patience. Good luck with your boy. 

Sent from Petguide.com App


----------



## William Hayes (Oct 10, 2013)

I'm glad you got everything under control nd I hope I become like you, my 2 months Roy is giving me hard time biting everything and not comfortable with the leash,hope you can provide me with some advice. 

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Thank you for all the great advice and encouragement. It really is helping. 

A couple issues that I thought I would ask here. Again, if there is a more appropriate place to ask these questions please let me know and I'll post there instead.

1. Yesterday I took Ace to the vet. He got dewormed and vaccinated. Afterwards he was very sleepy but when he woke up he got aggressive and started biting me (not hard but possibly because of teething) and would bark at me if I did not let him. He was pretty wild yesterday after he woke up from his vaccine nap. Running around just biting everything in site. Barking at everything and everyone. Is this normal? 

2. I realized that Ace spends most of his time with me inside my room/his crate. I only let him out when its time to go potty or to play. If he goes potty outside then I let him have a bit more freedom and roam the house. Does that sound like a good way to go about accustoming Ace to the house? Or is keeping him in my room/crate for a majority of the day (besides play and potty) too much? I take him out to potty about 5-6 times a day plus anytime it just looks like he needs to go (I don't know but I've been able to sense it lately). He goes out to play about 3-4 times a day, once in the morning after I eat breakfast, once after I feed him lunch when I get back from class, and once at night before its time to go to bed to tire him out. Rest of the time he is usually in my room or, like I said before, he is downstairs if he successfully went potty outside. Is that a good plan? Or is that too much time in one place?​


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> 1. Yesterday I took Ace to the vet. He got dewormed and vaccinated. Afterwards he was very sleepy but when he woke up he got aggressive and started biting me (not hard but possibly because of teething) and would bark at me if I did not let him. He was pretty wild yesterday after he woke up from his vaccine nap. Running around just biting everything in site. Barking at everything and everyone. Is this normal?​




Retrievers explore their worlds with their mouths. And Ace is exploring his new world, and you, with his mouth. Have you watched puppies play? They are all teeth and snarls and biting and being rough. That's how puppies play. Ace is 9ish weeks now?? He is still learning SO much! You need to redirect his mouth with toys. Rope toys were a life saver for us. 

Also, puppies (and dogs, really) get "zoomies" where they run around like Tasmanian devils for a bit and get rid of all there excess energy. This is totally normal.​ 


Nawit said:


> 2. I realized that Ace spends most of his time with me inside my room/his crate. I only let him out when its time to go potty or to play. If he goes potty outside then I let him have a bit more freedom and roam the house. Does that sound like a good way to go about accustoming Ace to the house? Or is keeping him in my room/crate for a majority of the day (besides play and potty) too much? I take him out to potty about 5-6 times a day plus anytime it just looks like he needs to go (I don't know but I've been able to sense it lately). He goes out to play about 3-4 times a day, once in the morning after I eat breakfast, once after I feed him lunch when I get back from class, and once at night before its time to go to bed to tire him out. Rest of the time he is usually in my room or, like I said before, he is downstairs if he successfully went potty outside. Is that a good plan? Or is that too much time in one place?​


We raised Bear in the living room for the first few months he was here. Why? So we could keep eyes on him all the time. He didn't get to roam more of the house (kitchen and dining room) until he was about 4 months old, and he didn't get to go into the hallway, bathroom and bedrooms until close to 6 months old. We also had cats, so we reserved the back of the house as the cat sanctuary. But we took him out to potty every 20-30 minutes. Whenever he starts sniffing around and circling, we ALWAYS have to take him out. He was potty trained by 6 months old, and now at 14 months, he even knows the word "potty". 

I remember the first day I brought Bear home. I was so excited and happy. But within the first couple of weeks I was doubting I had what it took to raise this puppy right. But here we are almost a full year since he came home and our bond is even more amazing now. I cannot imagine how deep our bond will be in ten years. /dreamy sigh. 

Keep it up! Ace is going to be a fantastic dog!!


----------



## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

I'd keep Ace and get rid of the family.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

1. It's normal, they don't call them little landsharks for nothing Puppies use their mouths the same way we humans use our hands, to explore the world. 

Have plenty of toys nearby to place those in his mouth instead of your hands. As for the barking, could be a cry for attention. Be careful though, he may be training you "if I bark he'll play", so choose your play opportunities wisely. 

And remember, a tired dog is a happy dog. I know you got alot on your plate, but with a puppy that young, 20min of play will be enough to knock him out for close to an hour.


2. Maverick was raised in the family room the first month. In fact, he acted as if there were invisible barriers from him crossing to the other room. He would follow me til the corridor and then just stop and whined, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. He finally got brave after close to a month. You know Ace and how comfortable he is around the house, I didn't get Maverick upstairs until 2mo, nowadays sometimes I can't get him downstairs.

Sounds like a good plan to me. Ace is very young and exposing too much of the home may be overwhelming to him, at least from what I experienced with a young Maverick. If you feel he is ready and he isn't afraid or hesitant, by all means expose the rest of the house to him. I would personally designate an area for him though (your room or some other) to let him know at the end of the day or when you leave that's where he needs to go.

You seem to be doing a great job raising Ace, so keep it up. There's only one thing missing since your introduction to this forum......



:worthless


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

As requested, here is the trouble maker himself!


----------



## Ripley16 (Jan 26, 2012)

He's gorgeous!


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Haha yup, Ace is as adorable as I thought he would be. Love the second picture.

How was today? Easier?


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

He is just perfect!!! 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

dezymond said:


> Haha yup, Ace is as adorable as I thought he would be. Love the second picture.
> 
> How was today? Easier?


Yesterday was very different to say the least, hah. 

I spent my entire weekend with Ace and enjoyed it. I took him out onto the yard, we played, we trained a tiny bit. His teething is getting the best of him right now. He's chewing on everything and he loves picking up twigs and anything off the ground and eating it. I am trying to teach him drop it and it's slowly catching on, but sometimes his puppy energy gets the best of him. He is IN LOVE with wood. Loves chewing on it whether it is a twig or my dresser. Also, when I pet him, he tries to bite my hand and I'm trying the method of gently holding his muzzle closed and saying no biting while maintaining eye contact. 

I actually found him in the process of peeing inside. I was following him around and suddenly I saw him sniffing around and wagging his butt around a little more (that is usually a sign that he needs to go). I was about to grab him to go outside when he started to pee. I slammed my foot on the ground and pushed him a little (just instinct =/) said no and took him outside but he already finished all his business inside. Oddly, he will only do it in small hallways or in corners where I won't see him. 

He is listening a little better when I say come and is following me when it's time to go back inside. I think he finally understands that 3 AM potty breaks are only for potty and not playing.

My main concern is his biting. I ordered a couple nylabone toys and a Furminator a couple days ago so I hope I can ease his teeth and chewing problem. 

I've also been researching about neutering. 

If you guys have thoughts or advice about my experiences yesterday I would really appreciate it. I'm really trying my hardest to make Ace grow up to be an awesome dog and I know I can do it. I just need some help and advice. 

Thanks again. You are all awesome people. <3

Nawit


----------



## xoerika620xo (May 25, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Yesterday was very different to say the least, hah.
> 
> I spent my entire weekend with Ace and enjoyed it. I took him out onto the yard, we played, we trained a tiny bit. His teething is getting the best of him right now. He's chewing on everything and he loves picking up twigs and anything off the ground and eating it. I am trying to teach him drop it and it's slowly catching on, but sometimes his puppy energy gets the best of him. He is IN LOVE with wood. Loves chewing on it whether it is a twig or my dresser. Also, when I pet him, he tries to bite my hand and I'm trying the method of gently holding his muzzle closed and saying no biting while maintaining eye contact.
> 
> ...


hello =) it took me a bit to read your thread but i am all caught up. I am a pre med student with a 1 year old golden, and trust me it is hard work! but thankfully with the help of my boyfriend we make it look easy  the only problem i think you had was getting him while still living with other people who weren't fond of getting a dog in the first place...however whats done is done you seem to be taking that responsibility and handling it really well. I seriously applaud you for doing it alone, like i said i had the help of my boyfriend and it was truly a life saver. When i needed to study he was there to watch chester and make sure he was ok. I am truly rooting for you and Ace, many college students believe there is no way they can raise a puppy but if you put enough work in it it is possible. 

As for what happened to you yesterday, the biting is not going to go away in one shot, Chester was one of the worse to the point i would bleed and all my smaller family members didn't want to come over because they were afraid the "monster" dog was going to chew them up lol but with the the help of frozen socks, frozen rope toys, and a lot of re directing we were able to go pass that, sometimes when he doesn't get enough exercise and is truly excited he will nip but a quick no bite stops it. When he would bite at our hands we would just always have a toy near by and show him the toy, we also tried putting a bit of peanut butter on our hands and that also helped but we didn't like to always smell like peanut butter lol. He is going to be in this stage for a long time the true best thing is to just tire him out or redirect the nose holding is not going to work it's just going to intimidate him, and make him think your playing with him.

As for toys rope toys are good, nylabones are also good but be careful since some goldens (like mine) are able to take the pieces off and thats actually harmful. I also made my own toys out of 2 liter soda bottles, take the label off the bottle then close it with the cap and give it to Ace he will chase it all day long that was one of chester's favorite but he got too big and destructive and started ripping the plastic in less than a minute. A furminator is something i would re consider, it just takes off a lot of hair if your not careful and seeing all that hair could make you addicted to keep using it when its just going to make your golden look shaved. For grooming i just use a regular pin brush and a rake which does justice. 

I also haven't noticed if your using a odor cleaner after Ace has accidents in the house. If not then ace is just going to keep using the bathroom in the house because to him it smells like a bathroom. Natures miracle is an awesome odor remover, just a few sprays and the smell is gone. Also for Ace not to chew things in the house you can use bitter apple, they hate the taste and if sprayed on furniture (dont worry it wont ruin it) he wont dare go near it. What also helped us was setting a timer every 20 minutes so we can take chester out that way we didnt have accidents, and that was the hardest because we live on the 3rd floor with no elevators so going up and down the stairs with a puppy was truly a workout itself lol. good luck i really hope it gets better soon so you can see how awesome it is having a golden and how those rough puppy days are soon to be behind you.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Yesterday was very different to say the least, hah.
> 
> I spent my entire weekend with Ace and enjoyed it. I took him out onto the yard, we played, we trained a tiny bit. His teething is getting the best of him right now. He's chewing on everything and he loves picking up twigs and anything off the ground and eating it. I am trying to teach him drop it and it's slowly catching on, but sometimes his puppy energy gets the best of him. He is IN LOVE with wood. Loves chewing on it whether it is a twig or my dresser. Also, when I pet him, he tries to bite my hand and I'm trying the method of gently holding his muzzle closed and saying no biting while maintaining eye contact.
> 
> ...


To be honest, Ace isn't teething. It is my experience that Goldens start teething (i.e. losing baby teeth and transitioning to adult teeth) around 4-6 months of age. What Ace is doing is exploring his world. Bear was the same way as a puppy. He saw something and would explore it the only way he knew, with his mouth. 

Chew toys are a big plus! We love Kong products. They really saved us. 

I'm not sure why you got a Furminator. I believe Furminator may make other items, but I know them from their grooming tools. The furminator is a de-shedding brush, that shouldn't be used on long haired (also double coated) dogs, like Goldens. There is a tiny razor sharp edge between the teeth of the comb that cuts the guard hair (top hair), but doesn't actually stop or prevent shedding. It can also irritate a dog's skin. I do not recommend it for a Golden, least of all a 9 week puppy. 

You should only need a pin brush to groom Ace. I have a little bit more in my arsenal. I have a pin brush, a wide-tooth comb, a fine-tooth comb, a flea comb, various scissors for trimming hair, toothbrush & toothpaste (for puppies), undercoat rake, dematting rake, guillotine nail clippers, nail grinder, quik-stop (in case I nick the quik in the nail and it bleeds). 

In regards to potty training, when we caught Bear peeing, we clapped our hands to interrupt him, then we carried him outside. Sometimes he would have finished inside already, but when he finished outside we threw a huge party with lots of praise, love, treats and play. We also kept taking him out every 20-30 minutes so he didn't have too many chances to repeat the behavior we DON'T want. Please make sure you clean it up with an enzymatic cleaner (like white vinegar or Nature's Miracle from the store), so the smell doesn't linger and Ace doesn't think that's his stop to pee. Be careful about scaring Ace, because you don't want him sneaking away to pee behind things that you'll never find. You want to build an open, and comfortable relationship with him, so he's not afraid to make a mistake.  

Another thing that got us through the initial landshark phase, was rope toys, and safe (large) balls (we use Chuck-it balls w/o the fuzzy covering). We got Bear this Chuck-It Kick Fetch, which looks like a bright orange and blue soccer ball. He can pick it up and carry it, and it's held up fantastically to our EXTREME CHEWER. 

You might want to do a search for neutering. There are alot of opinions about it. I personally recommend waiting until Ace is 2 years old to neuter, so he can grow up properly. Neutering early affects testosterone which can affect his bone growth.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

I am glad things are looking up. Ace is adorable! 

I was confused about the Furminator and teething? Are you talking about the fur de-shedder thing? 

There might be many schools of thought about what to do about peeing indoors. With our girl, we take her outside right away (to the exact pee spot) but without any kind of reprimand. After, we clean it up and move on. We only give her a reaction when she goes and it's a really positive/excited one. I recommend Ian Dunbar's method as a starting point. It is intense but it worked for us.

For teething/biting, I think replacing with an appropriate toy works. I found hand-feeding kibble a good way to teach soft mouth. 

For drop, you can practice with a toy, too, and make it a game. We taught Sandwich "take/take it" as well. 



Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

ilovesandwich, I think he meant he ordered the furminator along with some nylabones. At I hope that's what he plans on giving Ace instead of the Furminator to chew on:

Nawit, sounds like you had a good weekend with him. I'm going to agree with what was said and say he isn't quite teething yet, he's too young, he's just discovering the world. Puppies discover the world with their mouths and will continue to do so into adulthood. 

For when he does teeth, I recommend you get a toy that is safe to put in the freezer, Mav's was a rope encased in rubber. It helped soothe his gums and teeth quite a bit when that time came around (about the 5mo mark). 

And as for neutering, that's up to you. You're going to hear a read a ton of different opinions regarding the topic and there is some good scientific research that went into the topic, so keep digging. There's also been numerous threads regarding it so give that search feature of the forum a shot.


----------



## Hina (May 31, 2013)

Nawit, great job! I'm glad you're trying to make things work. The first couple of weeks are the toughest. It will get better and it will be very rewarding. You have lots of good people here on the forum. He is such a cutie!

p.s. if he's trying to pee in small spots, try to block it off or restrict access. also, someone may have already suggested an odor remover spray. We use Arm & Hammer pet odor remover from Walmart. It comes in a yellow spray bottle and costs about $5.


----------



## Calm dog (Sep 11, 2013)

Free Downloads from drsophiayin.com | Animal Behavior and Medicine Blog | Dr. Sophia Yin, DVM, MS
This website has lots of helpful info on the issues you are having . The pictures are so cute that you posted!


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I have a couple more questions as to things that arose to my attention today.

Generally Ace's poops have been nice and solid. This morning he had his first wet(ish) poop. It was 100% watery but it was definietly moister than usual. This leads me to believe there is something wrong with his diet. I feed him Mostly Purina Puppy chow (with only a couple bits of the food the breeder gave me). I give him water regularly. He seems active when he goes outside and shows no signs of being ill. He recently started chasing after his tail and its very amusing and cute!  Any advice? Should I swap from Purina? Less water? Try pumpkins?

Also, I had to clean his paws today as he stepped in another dog's poop. I could tell already he is going to be tough when it comes to bathing. I haven't bathed him yet as he is generally clean besides a couple traces of dirt in his undercoat. How often should I bathe him and if he hates water how do I deal with that?

And just a status update on my situation, I am currently house hunting and started working a couple days a week too. I don't know if I can really handle all of this but I am hoping that I can help my mother with funds to find our own place so that eventually everything will be better. 

Thanks again for being great listeners and helpers. You are all amazing!


Thanks again for all of your help.


----------



## Lucylulu (Aug 4, 2013)

All I can say is congratulations on house hunting! That is definitely ideal for you to be out on your own! Lol me and my boyfriend moved in together in June and pretty much the first thing I did once I had my own place was go out and get a puppy.

I truly think it's best if you have an animal in your OWN living space. Such a different dynamic.

That said I also have a dog with fecal issues and worms. All those issues are gone now and I have learned not to obsess about every poop she has. As long as most of it is normal - DON'T worry about it!! I'm learning not to freak about every little thing... but still do sometimes lol


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Lucylulu said:


> All those issues are gone now and I have learned not to obsess about every poop she has. As long as most of it is normal - DON'T worry about it!! I'm learning not to freak about every little thing... but still do sometimes lol


I constantly worry about everything. Whether it is my studies, how my mom is, the puppy; I always worry about the worst possible scenario of every situation. That is the main reason I feel so stressed throughout these past couple weeks. I just worry too much.


----------



## Lucylulu (Aug 4, 2013)

The best advice I can give you is get your own living space  It will change your life and your dog's life if possible  I moved out in June and life hasn't been the same. I can't imagine getting a puppy while at my parent's house. Honestly that wouldn't have been fair to the dog or my parents because well - it's my dog and they don't want that responsibility.

And it seems like your parents are similar. And I can't blame them. Their house, their rules.

No trying to come down hard on you. Just I've been there and ugh is it hard living with your parents as an adult!!

But hey you've got this puppy and it sounds like you're going to do whatever it takes to make the situation work so go you!!!


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> I have a couple more questions as to things that arose to my attention today.
> 
> Generally Ace's poops have been nice and solid. This morning he had his first wet(ish) poop. It was 100% watery but it was definietly moister than usual. This leads me to believe there is something wrong with his diet. I feed him Mostly Purina Puppy chow (with only a couple bits of the food the breeder gave me). I give him water regularly. He seems active when he goes outside and shows no signs of being ill. He recently started chasing after his tail and its very amusing and cute!  Any advice? Should I swap from Purina? Less water? Try pumpkins?
> 
> ...





Nawit said:


> I constantly worry about everything. Whether it is my studies, how my mom is, the puppy; I always worry about the worst possible scenario of every situation. That is the main reason I feel so stressed throughout these past couple weeks. I just worry too much.


The best thing about Ace, is that he is going to teach you how to stop and smell the roses, to let the worry slide off your back, and to take each moment as it happens. Golden Retrievers are by far, in my book at least, the best breed of dog. They are so wise, but hold such innocence. The bond that will grow between Ace and you will be such an incredible, life altering connection. Whenever you get annoyed with Ace, just stop what you're doing. Take a deep breath and look at the world through his eyes. 9 times out of 10, when I do this, Bear will come up and give me kisses. Sweet, sweet kisses. 

Now onto your questions... 

Poop! There are so many threads about poop! And so many things can affect Ace's poop. I'm inclined to think if nothing else has changed, his softer stool is a result of stress. Leaving the family you've only ever known and moving to a new place is very stressful, especially on a 9 week old puppy. If it doesn't firm up in a day, I would take him to the vet to have a fecal sample analysed. If he hasn't been wormed, I would get one to be safe. If nothing is wrong with him, and he is still having soft stools, you can use pumpkin, banana or carrots to add bulk and firm things up for him. While I wouldn't feed Purina Puppy Chow to Bear, I recommend you keep his diet the same for at least a few months, since so many other things are changing. I fed Bear, Blue Buffalo Large Breed Puppy food, but switched him to All-Life-Stage Purina Pro Plan 30/20 around 8 months of age. Pro plan will be a better quality of food than Puppy Chow, and IMO is reasonably priced.  

I don't know if you've ever experienced infants, but you have to give new foods slowly and in small quantities. The same applies to puppies. Whatever new you introduce should be done in small amounts because it might be too rich for their tiny tummies to deal with, and you'll get diarrhea and whatnot. 

Be careful about letting Ace be in areas that unfamiliar dogs have been, especially be careful around other animals poops. Certain areas have a higher incidence rate of life threatening diseases, like Parvo, and young puppies are extremely susceptible until they have received all of their vaccinations. 

Bear fought the bath for a long time. Now I can't get him out of the tub when I'm taking MY shower. The punk! As with all new things, you want to make the experience fun and rewarding for Ace. When I was teaching Bear to let me handle him, the lickety stick from Petco was a lifesaver! Someone holds it, the puppy licks licks licks licks it and you get to do what you need without they squirming TOO much.  

The water loving will come, with time, in my opinion. Bear HATES cold water, so I make sure to bathe him in warm water. And he gets treats, and we work on commands while we bathe. Once I dropped a floating toy in the tub, and he went CRAZY trying to get it. 

I hope I got all your questions. Keep up the great work!!


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Well if I didn't have enough issues here is another one. 

I just left Ace and my fathers home for the night. My step mother and my father were constantly arguing and yelling. And my dad hides away in my room so I have to deal with all of it too.

Familial issues aside I am at a friend's for the night. I took Ace out before I left and gave him a little water. I asked my dad to take him out around 9 (it is 8 now). He usually sleeps after that so I am not too worried about tonight. (My dad is sleeping in my room too so he shouldn't be lonely). I am going to head back there in the morning and take care of him and go back to my normal schedule but I just could not stay there tonight. 

Is it okay? I told my Dad to take care of him for the night and he said he would. 

I feel like my posts are becoming more psychologically involved than puppy involved. 

Just want to make sure Ace will be okay without me for a night if someone else is there to care for him (but probably not to the same degree that I would). 

Sorry for dumping this all on you guys. I feel like I have made a family on this forum, though.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Nawit said:


> I have a couple more questions as to things that arose to my attention today.
> 
> Generally Ace's poops have been nice and solid. This morning he had his first wet(ish) poop. It was 100% watery but it was definietly moister than usual. This leads me to believe there is something wrong with his diet. I feed him Mostly Purina Puppy chow (with only a couple bits of the food the breeder gave me). I give him water regularly. He seems active when he goes outside and shows no signs of being ill. He recently started chasing after his tail and its very amusing and cute!  Any advice? Should I swap from Purina? Less water? Try pumpkins?
> 
> ...


Does Ace like to eat things outside of his diet and things he isn't supposed to? I know you mentioned he likes twigs and other wood so that may have upsetted his stomach a bit. He's also very young so he might have a worm (knock on wood), but soft stools is a sign of some type of parasite.

Bathing....yeah depends on the dog, some dogs like it and some don't. Maverick just tolerates it, and believe me, it is a ton of work. As for his baths, he gets one every 2wks and I have shampoo and conditioner that use Oatmeal (Isle of Dogs brand). I checked with my vet and he says Mav's skin is perfectly healthy and his coat is nice and shy. 

Introducing water shouldn't be too tough, you got a water dog after all. He might not like it the first few times, but he will eventually. Just make sure to have some treats handy to make it a positive experience. I always end a bath on a positive note with a "yogurt bone" (a former marrow bone I stuff with yogurt then freeze). And if you can, take him swimming, Goldens LOVE to swim, expect for one and I think he goes by the name of Bentley :

And congratulations on the househunting and working. Seems like you put even more on your plate, you're just taking it all in from the buffet we call life huh?! I seriously wish you the best with both your personal life, family, and Ace.


edit: Just read your latest post.

I think he should be fine, but really he should be with you after all. I know what you're going through with family is tough, but considering your dad wasn't really on board to begin with about Ace, do you think he would take Ace out? And what if Ace has to go in the middle of the night? One night should be ok, but don't be surprised if there are any setbacks. I'm sure your dad isn't in the best of mind and mood right now, so hopefully Ace doesn't pick up off that kind of energy.

Good luck...


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

How did the night go? How is Ace this morning?


----------



## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

Here are a few really useful books: The Puppy Primer: Patricia B. McConnell, Ph.D., Brenda Scidmore: 9781891767135: Amazon.com: Books


Puppy's First Steps: A Proven Approach to Raising a Happy, Healthy, Well-Behaved Companion: Faculty of the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts Univer, Nicholas H. Dodman BVMS, Lawrence Lindner: 9780547053615: Amazon.com: Books


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Brave said:


> How did the night go? How is Ace this morning?


My dad ended up taking good care of Ace. I couldn't wait to get up and feed/play with him in the morning. 

My dad took him out in the middle of the night and in the morning when he woke up so I thanked him and got him a little gift. ^_^. 

As for Ace's stool its back to normal so I am not that worried anymore. 

I just love coming home after class or not seeing him for a bit and he just runs into my arms. It makes all of the stress worthwhile. 

He is a bit stinky though so I am going to buy some shampoo and clean him. 

It's been a rough week but we're getting through it and Ace is slowly becoming my true friend. He is starting to just follow me all around and I LOVE that. I was shaving this morning and he just snuggled up against my legs and I melted.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> My dad ended up taking good care of Ace. I couldn't wait to get up and feed/play with him in the morning.
> 
> My dad took him out in the middle of the night and in the morning when he woke up so I thanked him and got him a little gift. ^_^.
> 
> ...


Terrific!! When shopping for shampoos, make sure you get a gentle puppy shampoo. I'd stay away from anything that says "tear free". 

I'm glad things are settling down. I want to encourage you to spend some time in our puppy subforum because it covers alot of ground. Ace will not ALWAYS be the good puppy. Sometimes they are handfuls, and they get into mischief. So be prepared.  

Do you have any more photos? I love puppies!!


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

More pictures!


Here he is just sitting under my desk.









Sometimes he likes to hop up in between my legs while I'm studying.









And here he is just starting at me wondering why I am taking a picture of him.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Oh I just want to steal him!!! Just kidding, of course. Give him lots of kisses for me!!


----------



## SwimFun (Mar 30, 2013)

I am glad to hear things are getting a little less stressful. I would find it hard to believe you wouldn't find a person on here who didn't get a wake up call when they finally brought their first puppy home. Without having kids, I couldn't relate to all of the responsibility that a new puppy would bring. I read/prepared everything I could beforehand, but it's nothing like experiencing it. 

I work full time and take graduate classes part time. I got my puppy during finals week spring semester this year and it was not easy. Sleep deprivation was the worst. The constant lack of down-time and not being able to relax also took its toll.

It definitely gets better. If you can hang in there it's worth it. It doesn't happen quickly, but if you can be patient he will be the best friend you have. Sawyer finally calmed down a lot at 6 months, but he still requires a lot of exercise. The best part of my day is coming home to a puppy who is so excited to see me, as if I had been gone for a week!

Ace is adorable and it sounds like he is already bonded to you


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Definitely a cute little guy. Really do miss them at that age. Take lots of pics they don't stay that way for long. 

Glad to hear things went smoothly for what the situation was. I think eventually your dad will take a real liking to ace. It took my dad a good 2 or 3mo to really warm up to Maverick, nowadays I can catch them sleeping together for the night sometimes. So I hope for you and ace that your dad warms up to him. 

And judging by the last pic, I hope you got room for a bigger crate. He'll outgrow that in no time. 

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Hina (May 31, 2013)

Great job!!! Yes, about the crate, we bought the largest one and partitioned off what we didn't need. Hina (7 months) still sleeps in her crate and have something like an x-pen around it. She's come to love it since we give her her food, water and treats when she's in there. We use the command "go home" when she gets her food or when it's time for bed (and a nice treat).


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

How are things going?


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Brave said:


> How are things going?


Things are going a bit smoother. I'm giving him a little more freedom in the house as he has not has an accident in about a week.

A couple issues I wanted to ask you guys.

1. When it comes to grooming (trimming hair and cutting nails) I have no idea what I'm doing. Should I take him to a groomer first and watch what they do? Cause honestly right now I am clueless as to what to do.

2. When Ace eats, he does not chew. Literally in his mouth and down the throat. Should I be concerned about this? Feed in smaller portions? Thoughts?

3. Next semester I am running a 2 day a week schedule to make more room for time with Ace. One of the ways I could do this is by being on campus from 8 AM- 9PM. I am assuming that is too much time for him to be alone (knowing my family they will check on him once or twice). Or I could take a harder class (Calc based physics instead of algebra based) and be home around 3 and only have to go twice a week. Just looking for advice on this one I know this is really going to come down to me though.

Thanks again for your help and concern! You have all gave me the confidence to work hard on Ace to keep him and I am so happy I did. 

Cheers!
Nawit


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

1. For hair, I brought Mav to the groomers to see how it is done and how short they cut it. From there you can try to emulate that, but if you're not comfortable in doing so, then don't attempt it. I had Mav get a "summer cut" back in June maybe and his feathering is about 1/3 of what it used to be, so it does take quite some time to grow back.

1a. For his nails I use a grinder. I find it to be safer than cutting the nails and I am able to smooth out any rough patches on his nails. I do this every 2wks after his bath. Before I did it myself I had a groomer grind them for me to see how short they can get.

2. Dogs aren't much chewers, especially with kibble. Their mouths were made for ripping and tearing. Their stomachs work differently compared to ours, but he should be safe. Maverick is one of those vacuums when it comes to food so no need to worry. If you are really worried about him gobbling down his food too quickly, you can certainly hand feed him his meals every now and then. This doubles as good training against resource guarding as well. I fed Maverick his meals through Kongs til he was about 5mo, and that took him awhile and made him work for his food. 

Just be sure any treats you give aren't too large to the point where he'll just chew once and try to swallow. And if you move on to antlers or those sort of things to relieve his chewing habits, make sure the pieces aren't too small so he doesn't accidentally swallow them. Just be sure to *always be watchful when giving treats* whether it be a marrow bone, bully stick, sweet potatoes, or whatever else you can think and safely give him.

3. I'm assuming your semester ends in Dec, correct? If so Ace should be housetrained by then and used to you being gone, he should be maybe 6mo by your next semester? Back when Mav was that age, I went to class 4 days a week and he was left alone maybe 2 or 3hrs a day. 13hrs is a long time to be alone, plus he wouldn't get much exercise, and a puppy that age needs quite a bit. If I were in your position and if the schedule can work out, I'd go to class 4 days a week and have Ace be alone for just a few hours, as compared to the whole day.

Coming home from a 13hr school day is going to be rough on both of you. He'll have a day's worth of pent up energy, while you've already spent your day's energy. It may sound nice to have 2 free days to spend with him, but pile on the homework and studying you'll have to do on those 2 days, and maybe those 2 days of him being pent up in the house may not be worth it. Again, I'd go for the 4-day schedule vs the 2, but that's just me and if the class schedule allows it.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

dezymond said:


> Coming home from a 13hr school day is going to be rough on both of you. He'll have a day's worth of pent up energy, while you've already spent your day's energy. It may sound nice to have 2 free days to spend with him, but pile on the homework and studying you'll have to do on those 2 days, and maybe those 2 days of him being pent up in the house may not be worth it. Again, I'd go for the 4-day schedule vs the 2, but that's just me and if the class schedule allows it.


Well at this point in time (the way I chosen my classes) it is going to be 2 days a week either way. Either a take a tougher course and get home around 3 45 or take an easier course and just be on campus all day. 

I'm really not sure why I am asking this here. This has nothing to do with goldens but I guess I just like your advice on this forum! :


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Well at this point in time (the way I chosen my classes) it is going to be 2 days a week either way. Either a take a tougher course and get home around 3 45 or take an easier course and just be on campus all day.
> 
> I'm really not sure why I am asking this here. This has nothing to do with goldens but I guess I just like your advice on this forum! :


welp that one will be up to you. 

I personally, and luckily, was able to work my school schedule around the best times to get my classes out of the way around noon til about 4:30. This gave me time to spend with him in the morning to tire him out, let him sleep while I'm gone, and when I get home we head up to the dog park. Then I still had energy for night time when I had to get my work/studying done.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

Algebra based physics is a breeze! Pick that...but calculus is also fun...I'm a math major. 

So, I get up around 5 everyday and leave home by 7. In the morning, Sandwich goes out first thing and then eats her breakfast from a Kong wobbler. Just after 6, we go for a 30 minute walk or play/train at the park across the street. 

We are lucky to have friends who come by and walk her or take her to the park mid-day. But regardless of that, when I get home (afternoon), we go for a long walk or meet up with dog friends. This helps her be mellow later in the evening. We go for a stroll after dinner (also served in some kind of toy) and then out to pee just before bed. 

Here's my point: 
I have fixed school hours and I treat it as one of my jobs (the library is my office). I study and do my homework AT school. This way I'm not distracted by Sandwich (and who isn't distracted by a six month old puppy?) and I can also give 100% of my attention to her when I am at home. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Well at this point in time (the way I chosen my classes) it is going to be 2 days a week either way. Either a take a tougher course and get home around 3 45 or take an easier course and just be on campus all day.
> 
> I'm really not sure why I am asking this here. This has nothing to do with goldens but I guess I just like your advice on this forum! :


If you can handle the tougher course, go for it! It you're going to be out all day, though, I would seriously consider hiring a dog walker to come take Ace out about 1/2 through the day and play with him for a while (30-60 minutes), or look into an all-day doggie day care (where you drop them off in the morning, and pick them up in the evenings). 

Coming home after 12-13 hours away and not getting a breather because you have a whirlwind of a puppy = no fun! I've been there. I've done it. AND I had help b/c my husband was home with him most of the day. I can only imagine what Ace would be like w/o that.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I just have a lot to think about. I'm hoping I will be in a house with my mom by the time spring semester hits and she can take him out between 8 and 345 when I am at class. If that's the case then everything should be okay. 

I think I am leaning towards the Calc based for this semester just so I don't have to sit on campus all day then come home exhausted (even though it is just for 2 days a week). 

At this point I'm just hoping everything will work out. An ideal situation would be I get a place with my mom and she takes Ace out on mondays and wednesdays while I am in class. Then the rest of the week I am free to do all I can to raise Ace to the best of my potential.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Sounds like a solid plan. I'm not trying to nit-pick, but coming from a home with a metric ton of familial drama, don't count on your mom (or any family members for that matter) to help. Always, Always (!) have a back-up plan and then a plan C. 

My mom would be fine dealing with the cats and then the next day have a tantrum about them and how they are MY responsibility and she doesn't want to see them. I'm saying this because I don't want you to be set in your schedule (or worse half-way through, dealing with midterms and finals) and find out you have no help from your mom; scrambling for a way to take care of Ace AND do well on your school work. 

Cause puppies are A LOT of work. Tbh, 9 week old Bear was a cake walk compared to 7 month old Bear (at least in my memory). 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Sounds like a good plan, but I'm with Brave, make sure to have a backup plan and a backup for that backup plan. As you know, life sometimes takes turns for the worst and situations we thought we would be in don't turn out to be, then it gets hectic when one has to scramble to keep things together. 

Good luck! Hope your plans do come together, but if not, I'm sure you'll find a way to adjust that works best for you and Ace.


----------



## Pammie (Jan 22, 2011)

Brave said:


> Cause puppies are A LOT of work. Tbh, 9 week old Bear was a cake walk compared to 7 month old Bear (at least in my memory).
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


This was my truth, too! 7 months, 8 months, 9 months and beyond...!!!!! Sometimes it gets even harder before it gets better.
Not all pups are a breeze, some are just darn hard to raise, so hope for the best and plan for the worst!


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I hear what you are all saying. The other day I saw a car pull up into one of my neighbor's driveway with a number on it. He comes to your house and walks your dog for you and feeds him if you like too. 

He is a tad expensive but I got to do what I got to do. So I will always have that as a backup. As for plan C, I'm not sure yet but I'm sure I'll think of something. You are all right in telling me to find an extra backup plan though. 

And again this is all assuming my mom and I get a place. If not, I might have to get a dog walker everyday and that would put a huge hole in my pocket. Hopefully some of my friends will be around or something but most of them go away for school and my friends from university all live about an hour away so I don't think they would be up for it. 

Hopefully I can figure something out. Only time will tell.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

So I need some advice as I am losing my temper quickly. 

My dad and the step family went on vacation (without me) so I am alone in the house with Ace. I let him roam the house a bit more while watching him constantly. Yesterday, while doing this, no problems whatsoever. 

Today, both time as I am watching him he runs into a corner and pees. Then an hour later he poos. Keep in mind that I took him out about 10 minutes before these accidents. I lost it. I yelled and threw him in my room and left him there. I'm literally dropping my life for this dog (I have little to no socializing with my friends because I am constantly watching him because nobody else will) and I'm trying my best to train him and it feels like it is all for nothing. 

I just need to vent. I'm fuming and extremely angry.


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Your puppy*

Try to keep in mind that your puppy is like a newborn baby.
Have you looked into getting a crate and crate training him, like others have suggested. Here is some info on crate training.
Crate Training : The Humane Society of the United States
Make sure to remove his/her collar before putting them in the crate, so they don't choke.

You should take him out every 2 or 3 hr. and immediately after he eats or takes a nap and then praise and reward him after he goes outside.

Puppyhood doesn't last forever-it gets MUCH BETTER!

**only USE the crate when you can't watch him every minute. Don't keep him in there all the time!


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

First bit of advice, never let outside stresses be directed towards your dog. I understand you're frustrated with your family, and although Ace seems like an easy target (which he is), he's not the right thing to vent that on. He has no idea what he did wrong after the incident and you cannot punish him for that. If you catch him during the act, say "No", pick him up and carry him outside to finish his business, that's the only time you're going to correct it. Don't feel too terrible and I don't want to sound hypocritical either, I too have been guilty of venting my stress on Maverick, and it feels horrible once you realize it. 

Secondly, did he actually potty outside 10min before or was he just outside? And also, how have you been rewarding this potty command? As soon as he's finished going to need to enforce that behavior with rewards and praise, that's the only way they associate them relieving themselves as a good thing on your command. So for instance whenever I felt Maverick had to go when he was young I would say "go potty", lead him outside to the spot on leash, wait for him to go with treat in hand. And as soon as he relieved himself I said "good potty!", reward, praise, and then go inside. I did not give him a chance to play after a potty because I wanted to make sure he doesn't stay outside after I say "go potty". Imagine in the rainy seasons if your dog wants to play after relieving himself, that's gonna be one wet dog inside the house. So try and reinforce that until he can be trusted to go off leash, but it definitely still sounds like you need to guide him. 

Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Clear your mind and start over. Ace had no idea what he did wrong and you know he doesn't know what he did wrong. Take your family's spontaneous vacation as another challenge; you weren't expecting any help raising Ace and now it's not there. Of course, appreciate the help your dad provided the other night, but you gotta remember, you wanted Ace and Ace is your dog. You are essentially a parent and now you're in it for the long haul. Sometimes we have those days, I know I certainly have, but you can't enjoy the good without the bad. Potty training takes some time and you're going to have accidents, but keep the training precise and consistent and he'll be potty trained in no time.


----------



## ally1h (Nov 27, 2012)

I started reading this thread way back in the beginning and just picked it back up again. I just recently graduated from grad school and ever since the very beginning of college, 7 years ago, I was tortured by not having a dog... more specifically a puppy. For me, I knew having a puppy would be too much, especially knowing I would be on my own to raise it. That said, even though I would have been foolish to raise a puppy, I do know other people who have raised a puppy while in school. You are correct, your socialization time is CUT DOWN, but not all together. 

Take this as an opportunity rather than a curse. Make plans with friends and bring your pup along. It is good socialization for the pup and for you. Go to outside places, parks, take him to a friends home if they allow it. Make an outing of it.


As for the peeing/pooing in the house. I see a couple problems, but maybe they have already been addressed. I apologize if this is old news. Your pup has primarily been confined to your room, yes? But these last 2 days has had a lot more freedom to roam the house. That, I believe, was a mistake. Being granted that extra freedom is a privilege your pup needs to earn! I kept my pup confined to a small room for the 3 weeks it took to completely house train him. Only then did I allow him the privilege to other areas of the home, but definitely not all at once. I think you allowed your pup too much freedom way too quickly. it needs to be earned. It took a max of 3 weeks to house break my pup because I did the following:

1) crate training. If it is nighttime he was in his crate. It i wasn't home, he was in the crate. If he was napping, he was in the crate. If I became overwhelmed by him, he got a toy or treat and was put in the crate. Because of the crate, I can count off all the times he had accidents on the floor on 2 hands.

2) believe it or not, I bought a tarp from a hardware store and covered the floor of the room he stayed in. Messes were easy to clean up and I didn't have to worry about scrubbing a carpet to remove the stains and odors. It worked like a charm and I will do it again when I get my next puppy

3) Nature's miracle. A cleaner that removes odors puppies can detect and we can't. Use it EVERY time he potties indoors, especially in areas he goes to more than once.



Also, your puppy will start to develop patterns when he needs to go. So start paying extremely close attention. My dog, when he needs to poo, will walk in circles around me outside, usually 3 circles, and then he paces back and forth in one spot before he squats. When he pees its a lot harder to tell, but he almost always goes in the same spots. Start paying attention. Does your pup have these quirks?

DON'T GET UPSET WITH YOUR PUPPY FOR PEEING OR POOPING INSIDE!!! I can't stress this enough. Goldens are super sensitive to our emotions and body language. When my pup acts out it is USUALLY because I am having a bad day and he can sense I am in a bad mood! No joke! When I am happy he is the biggest angel in the world. If you start yelling at your puppy, your puppy will act out. He will try to find those corners in which to relieve himself. He will associate going potty with you being angry. He will not train as quickly.

Remember, he is a BABY and he does not know any better until you train him to. My pup was fairly quick with the potty training. But every puppy is different and some take months to be fully house trained. He looks to you for everything. And I must warn you now... The puppy stage is difficult but around 6-24 months old he will go through a "teenager" phase that will drive you bonkers, probably more so than you are now.

Give it time, it does pass. If you are getting overwhelmed, stop and take a break.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I took him out before and he only pee'd. I waited 20 minutes and kept saying go potty (which he usually responds to) but nothing so I assumed he didn't have to go. 

Everytime he goes outside I throw a freakin party. I give him treats and a ton of praise. 

I defintely agree that giving him freedom of the house was probably the issue. But I assumed he eventually would have to get around the house. And the night before he was perfectly fine with no accidents. 

And just to add to headache, my mom says she does not want to have a dog in her house if I move in with her. So that rules out that. I don't even know what to do with my life. 

As for socializing, my friends are all house-party people that enjoy going to the city to peoples apartments and getting wasted. I am not that type of person but I always tag along as the DD just to talk to some people and have some fun. Can't really bring a dog to those situations. Everytime I ask them to just come over or to meet up in the park they'd rather go to the city (NYC) or just sit in someones basement and play video games. 

I'm just extremely stressed and I'm feeling back at stage one: wondering if I should give him up. At the end of the day I am going to move in back with my mom. I love my father but his household is unstable and I can't live there. And my mom doesn't want a dog in the house and I'm not running back and forth between houses. If I am having Ace, I am going to be with him in the same household. 

Bottom line: i love ace. He is already like my best friend, but if I move in with my mom it seems like I won't be able to keep him anyway. My mind is just everywhere right now. I need to take a step back and just breathe. Sigh.


----------



## xoerika620xo (May 25, 2012)

You sound just like me in some ways! I am a pre med student and I know how hard it is with classes being all day. Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm in school from 8:30am until 7pm trust me it is a lot of work, and with Chester those days are the hardest because he has the most energy. I'm thankful when he was Ace's age I was able to stay home all day with him so I can train him. I make sure on the days I have time to spare I walk him and get some energy out. It is possible but like I told you before it's a lot of work and sacrifices but once he is trained and is a good dog it's so worth it. 

You mustn't take your anger out on him like everyone said he is a baby. There are gonna be times he won't have a accident for weeks but there are times he's going to have accidents all day or twice out of the week and it doesn't mean you did something wrong it just means you need to work harder with him. Outside after eating,drinking a lot of water, playing, naps. set a timer for yourself. We would take Chester out every 15 minutes at first just so he could understand outside was where to go then we would increase to 30 and etc.

As for you loosing your free time with friends, it happens. When Chester was ace's age I didn't even go out just because I wanted to stay home with him and train him. Not saying you have to do the same but that's what I did just because I wanted him train before school started and we would have more obstacles. There's going to be a time where ace will be ok with you being gone and your still going to think about him when your out and about but that's what happens when your a pet owner. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Pammie (Jan 22, 2011)

Will your breeder take Ace back? If not, how would you go about finding him a new home? 

Almost from the beginning of your journey with Ace that you've shared with us I have felt that for where you are in your life right now finding Ace a new home might be the best for you and him. You have so much working against you- your housing situation, lack of support-doing it all alone, demanding school, lack of social life. You will have time later on in your life when you are more settled to devote to a pup. 
It is a hard decision and I feel for you.


----------



## Bob Dylan (Mar 31, 2009)

Pammie said:


> Will your breeder take Ace back? If not, how would you go about finding him a new home?
> 
> Almost from the beginning of your journey with Ace that you've shared with us I have felt that for where you are in your life right now finding Ace a new home might be the best for you and him. You have so much working against you- your housing situation, lack of support-doing it all alone, demanding school, lack of social life. You will have time later on in your life when you are more settled to devote to a pup.
> It is a hard decision and I feel for you.


 
I totally agree with Pammie, you should think about ACE and how his life could be with someone that is with him as much as possible. Puppies can be so much fun but do require dedicated work. Very hard decision indeed!


----------



## xoerika620xo (May 25, 2012)

Nawit said:


> I took him out before and he only pee'd. I waited 20 minutes and kept saying go potty (which he usually responds to) but nothing so I assumed he didn't have to go.
> 
> Everytime he goes outside I throw a freakin party. I give him treats and a ton of praise.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry to hear that but I have to agree with something someone else said. I think you should re consider if ace is right for you at this moment. You have so much going on and right now your living situation isn't stable and maybe finding a new home is best for him. The first step is contacting his breeder to ask if they'll take ace back if not maybe someone on here will offer their home to him. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Calm dog (Sep 11, 2013)

I feel that you have given it your best shot and while sad, it seems like its just not the right time for you to have him. You both deserve to have your lives-you as a med student who can be devoted to study and eventually helping to heal others, Ace deserves an environment where he can be taught, and possibly a while family who can take turns caring for him. It is a huge deal even in the best of situations, but with all you have going on with your family and not being able to hang out with friends, this can create resentment which in the end Ace will be the brunt of. 
As a future doctor , what would you tell a patient who came to you stressed to the max with this situation?


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

None of us can make that decision whether to give up Ace or not, we can only offer words of encouragement and advice. You are the sole decision maker for Ace and you're a smart individual, you'll make the right decision at the end of the day. 

To me, it sounds like you really have too much on your plate for a dog, especially a young puppy since you've made this thread. You really are taking it head on, and you should be proud of that, but you may have to ease off that gas pedal for awhile before considering getting another dog or puppy, should you choose to give up Ace. I promise you there will be other litters and that Ace won't be mad at you for it. You're lucky enough he's so young to possibly start over at a new home without much adjustment needed. Should you choose that route, I'm sure you or your breeder will find a good loving home for him where he'll get the attention he'll need. It's an extremely hard thing to consider, but only you know what's right in this situation and by the sound of it, you need to get your personal life back in some order.

I'm sure you've considered the option of moving to a place all by yourself to just get away from your unstable family situation, but I think you owe it to your family to try and fix that first. It sounds like an absolute mess, but you seem to be trying to put all that on your shoulders and get things right, which is an extreme amount of responsibility and stress for a young adult to carry. I just feel you don't have much of a support system in helping raise this dog, through friends or family. Maybe when you're done with med school and got a good career going, settled down, and maybe then it'll be a more ideal time to have a furry friend in your life. 

You and I are almost of the same cloth. We're young enough to feel like we can take on the "real world", but not experienced enough to take it head on either. We both aren't of the "party scene" and tend to just like to hang out with friends and chat. We both have a desire to help people on a more personal level through our professions. And to top it all off we're both students, though you are for more driven than me in that department

So my advice to you is, sort your life out. What are your plans after med school? Is the career you're pursuing going to give you that time to commit to a dog? How long do you plan on staying in the home of your mother or father? Do you plan on moving out of state for a fresh slate? 

I want to be encouraging and telling you that you can do it, but the odds just keep working against you. I truly believe you can raise Ace in your father's home or maybe you can work some sort of arrangement with your mother where he would be quarantined to a specific part of the house, as rough as that sounds. It saddens me they aren't really supporting you with this, but your dad has shown some attempt to do so the other day, so maybe you can try working with that. Though the constant bickering (as it seems) is not a healthy living situation for you or Ace. 

I wish you the best with whatever you decide. You've made alot of connections here with members and we're all here to support you, whatever it is you choose.


----------



## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Patience! He will figure it out soon, Pearl did at 14 weeks. She peed and pooped so much I was overwhelmed. But stay diligent, soon his body and mind will click and all your hard work will be rewarded!

Of COURSE he is peeing and pooping away from you if you get mad at him for peeing and pooping in the house. You get mad, so he avoids you then!!! That probably works against you by confusing him. He is just not quite developed enough to understand why he gets a party for doing it in one place (outside) and in trouble for another (inside). Have a party outside and a neutral zip to the outside for accidents.

Patience and love - it will get better!

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Ace*

I agree with what someone else said, ask the breeder if they would take ACE back and she/he can find him a loving home.
There are also Golden Retriever Rescues that would delighted to have him. They would find him a wonderful home.
National Rescue Committee of the Golden Retriever Club of America

No offense, but you don't have time for ACE and as you said your Mom doesn't want a dog.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

Karen519 said:


> I agree with what someone else said, ask the breeder if they would take ACE back and she/he can find him a loving home.
> There are also Golden Retriever Rescues that would delighted to have him. They would find him a wonderful home.
> National Rescue Committee of the Golden Retriever Club of America
> 
> No offense, but you don't have time for ACE and as you said your Mom doesn't want a dog.


I agree. You need to put Ace and his well-being, health, and happiness first. Ace needs attention, routine, stability, consistency, company. Do you think you can do that? Can you commit to being a PARENT for twelve years or more? 

If you are feeling bitter about things you are giving up, you probably are not ready to be a puppy parent. 

I understand that this is a really tough situation to be in. I'm sympathetic and I wish you luck, whatever decision you make. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

Karen519 said:


> I agree with what someone else said, ask the breeder if they would take ACE back and she/he can find him a loving home.
> There are also Golden Retriever Rescues that would delighted to have him. They would find him a wonderful home.
> National Rescue Committee of the Golden Retriever Club of America
> 
> No offense, but you don't have time for ACE and as you said your Mom doesn't want a dog.


If you do decide to rehome Ace and the breeder won't take him back, please consider contacting MomtoMax who is on the forum, not sure if she ever got a second golden, but was looking. She's located in Pennsylvania.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

After talking to a coupe friends, I think I may be getting somewhere. And I did mention this same thing earlier on in the thread. 

After explaining how I handle Ace, my friends are telling me that Ace is just fine. Rather it is me that is expecting/caring TOO much. Now you might be thinking that caring too much is not a issue. Usually, maybe. But in my situation, there is no room to care too much. Let me quickly run down a typical schedule (as of the past week) and you can tell me whether or not Ace is getting a fair and loving parent.

Overnight or 7:30 AM- Wake up and take him out for potty.

8 AM- Breakfast

815-9- Play time before I head to class to tire him out

9:20-2- I am at class. Dad usually takes him out once or twice depending on plans of his day. (he usually sleeps here too)

2- Take him out regardless of whether or not Dad did. 

2:15- Lunch 

2:30-3:30- Training/playing (outdoors so he is pottying here too)

3:30- 5- Just around the house, my room or downstairs depending on how he is acting/whether or not he used the potty.

5:30-6- Some more training

6- Dinner

Then I take him out and do some more training whenever I am available. I take him out one last time around 11 to play with him to tire him out before he falls asleep then the cycle continues. 

Now what my friends (and I) are realizing is that Ace seems to have a healthy lifestyle. Rather is it me that is the issue. I constantly worry and am always watching over him. And I know that that is the way it is supposed to be but the degree I do it to is unhealthy. (I'm starting to realize this now). Ace is getting fed, trained, and being played with. He is getting the sleep he needs and seems to be a healthy pup. I just feel like I need to cut myself some slack and understand that he is just a puppy. Recently I have been staying home all day just to take care of this dog. I don't go out or anything. And I feel like that is wrong. I feel like I can take a couple hour breaks from Ace to go to the gym (which I completely stopped since I got him) or going out to dinner with a couple friends. I'm sure my dad is capable of watching him (but maybe not as well as I do). 

The point I am trying to get at and trying to realize myself is that I feel like Ace's lifestyle is perfectly fine. It is just me that is making it difficult. Whether I constantly worry about him or let him grow and guide him as he does, he will grow and become a fantastic dog with the current schedule he has (at least in my opinion). 

After nearly 10 pages of this thread I think you guys know me just as well as anyone else. What do you guys think? Is Ace's lifestyle OK and am I just worrying too much about him? Or does he need more than what he is getting and does he deserve a better home? I am constantly self critical and that might be a source of my unbelievable stress. I think I need to give myself a break and just head out once in a while and stop worrying so much about him. He might not be under my watchful eye when I go out but someone is watching him and he will survive without me for a couple hours. 

Thoughts? Comments? I'll take anything. I really want to keep this dog if I know he will be happy and healthy.

P.S I have been working on my mom and she might let him into the house. THat is a work in progress though.

Thanks again for all of your help. 

Nawit


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I am just reading this. I hope things are working out better between you and Ace. I will now catch up.


----------



## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

What are you going to do as Ace ages and needs more physical exercise? A juvenile golden not adequately exercised both physically and mentally is a challenge to live with and even more so if you don't have the buy-in of family members. Your course load is going to get more demanding with each year. Also when do you have time for formal obedience classes and socializing him? Have you looked at the socializing sticky in the puppy forum? So much goes into raising a stable and well-adjusted golden.


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Nawit said:


> As requested, here is the trouble maker himself!


 Awww! What a cutie!


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Awesome that you had a talk with your friends, that's what they're there for and sounds like you got a good bunch. 

It's very easy to understand why you're thinking the way you are, at least for me it is. Again, you have a ton on your plate to balance out; school, family, friends, Ace, and your own personal health. It's also very easy to understand why you are so worried about him, it's because you love him that much. Plus as a fellow first time dog owner, yes it is normal to worry about Ace that much especially at such a young age. 

Here's the deal, dogs are smart wonderful animals that can do with very little. It's the centuries of domestication, the media, dog crazy people like us, and our own strong personal feelings and attachments that give us the idea that our dogs need constant attention. I'm not saying ignore your dog, but I assure you he will be fine if you're gone for the day. Your dad is helping you by taking him out, for someone who had no interest in the little guy initially, that's a huge step and you should be grateful for it. Your dad is helping you with Ace when you're gone and you can be assured that he's being watched for when you're gone. 

To me, it sounds like you're just stressed and thinking of all the negatives. I'm sure your living situation now isn't ideal and from what you've told us, it isn't. However, Ace doesn't realize all the bickering or complication within your family. He knows a few things and one thing for sure; YOU are his world. You are the one who feeds him, takes him out, plays with him, trains him, loves him, and spends time with. If he's running to you the minute you step foot inside that house, he is happy and that's what counts. I'm sure he misses you for the time you're gone, but he knows you'll be walking through that door at some time or another and eventually he'll get that routine down. So yes, Ace seems perfectly happy where he is and who he's with. 

As I mentioned a few days ago, you do need a break every now and then, and in your specific situation and your responsibilities, you need quite a few breaks. Take the time to go back to the gym, a healthy body is a healthy mind. Take an hour or so every other day initially to go to the gym and then it'll turn into a daily routine for Ace and yourself. And if Ace is crate trained, that's even less reason to worry, the worse he can do is relieve himself and that can easily be cleaned up. 

Earlier my advice to you was to sort your life out, I still mean it, but take it back a few degrees to a lesser extent. Your friends have seemed to help you realize you're overstressing the whole situation with Ace, which is understandable, stress can get the best of any one. Couple that with your determined attitude and being self critical, it can definitely lead to more depressing scenarios, however, that's what friends are for. Keep in mind you haven't made any errors. It's natural to feel so strongly about Ace, especially since he's your first dog, but it's ok to worry about him. Your friends have helped open your eyes to your source of stress and it seems you already can get it under control fairly easily. 

Don't worry about Ace when you're gone, he's probably sleeping. I used to worry and rush home when Maverick was young too, but when I got home he'd always had just woken up. Just make the most of the time you have together and to build upon that bond you already have with him. If you put in the training and work now, it'll definitely pay off later when Ace is older. It's rough raising a puppy, but the payoff is unbelievable and well worth every ounce of stress, energy, time, tears, etc. You have the support of your family, your friends, and members here at GRF.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

It sounds like a lot of things are in flux. From re-reading this thread, I notice a lot of changes and uncertainty. Whoever you live with needs to be 100% on board with having a puppy. Moreover, you need to be 100% confident about being a puppy owner, too. 

There are some great books that were mentioned earlier in this threads by another member. I especially recommend Puppy Primer for training. It's about $9 from the Kindle store. Before I brought Sandwich home, I read every book about golden retrievers and puppy care --- I'd suggest you do the same. 

I'd also recommend puppy classes for both you and Ace. It will be good socialization and learning for both of you. You can meet other dogs and owners in real life. We have an informal "PEPS" group type thing here and those are some solid friends for us. We see them several times a week. The puppies love to play & the humans love to chat. You'll learn a lot about dogs and get advice from other dog owners. It's really nice to find that early on when there are so many questions.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Nawit said:


> So I need some advice as I am losing my temper quickly.
> 
> My dad and the step family went on vacation (without me) so I am alone in the house with Ace. I let him roam the house a bit more while watching him constantly. Yesterday, while doing this, no problems whatsoever.
> 
> ...


Please don't give up! You've come so far! You've done so well. Try to be more patient with the potty training. Just keep putting him outside until he gets it. Mercy had accidents a couple of times, but she eventually became 100%. Try not to loose your temper.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

SheetsSM said:


> Also when do you have time for formal obedience classes and socializing him? Have you looked at the socializing sticky in the puppy forum? So much goes into raising a stable and well-adjusted golden.


Obedience class is something I have been looking for but nothing fits my schedule as of right now. As for socializing, my neighborhood is FILLED with other dogs. After only having Ace for two or three weeks Ace and I have met about 8-10 other puppies and dog owners. I do not see socializing as an issue. Obedience class might be an issue, though. I can only teach him so much on my own.


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

After reading this thread, I can see how you've dedicated so much to Ace and how you're determined to make this work. Only you can make the decision as to whether you give up Ace or not. I do agree with the others that your situation is not ideal for puppy right now. I hope you can keep him, but if you can't, I am sure you will be doing what is best for Ace. I pray that things work out and that you can keep him. I think that will depend on your level of devotion to Ace. Hang in there!


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

How are things going? 

I think you can do this, but as others have said, YOU have to know you can do this. I know you said you're friends are more the type to go over to someone house and drink, but maybe you could suggest evenings out at restaurants w/ a patio area (dog friendly) or BBQ where you can bring Ace with you. 

My concern is over where you think your schedule is going to go in the future. How many more years of college do you have left? I know you said Pre-Med, so I'm assuming you have at least 2-4 years before starting your residency. What are you going to do with Ace when he's older and you're gone for days on end, pulling a rotation at a hospital? 

As much as it sucks to consider rehoming Ace (if the breeder won't take him back, PLEASE PLEASE surrender him to a golden retriever specific rescue.), a majority of those who raised puppies while in college, had more support than you have. 

While I am young, I was married and owned my own home before we got Bear. If I couldn't get home on time, my husband could take care of Bear. I know others had boyfriends/girlfriends to help juggle everything. 

If you do decide to keep Ace, and see this through to the end of his life, remember that you will always be making new friends. You've already met 8-10 puppy parents on your walks. Just because your college friends don't want to hang out, doesn't mean the young couple down the street wouldn't be up to it. Especially if you have dogs in common. Puppy play date with a mimosa, anyone? 

Before Bear torn his ACLs in March, we took him over to my boss' house every few weeks. Bear and her puppy played, we drank wine and caught up on our current events. Now that Bear is laid up, I just go over to watch her puppies play, drink wine and catch up. 

In regards to puppy classes, you should be able to find something that fits your schedule. Check your local animal shelter / SPCA / Humane Society to see if they offer classes. We took ours on Saturday mornings, and it only lasted 6 weeks. 

Now that Bear is an adult, we do spend more time exercising him. He's still recovering from his double knee surgery, so our walks are short; however, I have to train and find other activities to tire him out. I can see us doing hour long walks, plus vigorous fetch for an hour every day to just keep him energy in check. Which means my mornings and first thing when I get home are consumed with Bear Time. I don't mind any more b/c he pays me back with kisses, wag and cuddle time while we watch scary movies. 

They really are worth the energy we put into them .

((((hugs))))


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Brave said:


> How are things going?
> 
> I think you can do this, but as others have said, YOU have to know you can do this. I know you said you're friends are more the type to go over to someone house and drink, but maybe you could suggest evenings out at restaurants w/ a patio area (dog friendly) or BBQ where you can bring Ace with you.
> 
> ...


The school work is not even the issue. Throughout this whole ordeal I have been at the top of all of my classes while still caring for Ace. Ultimately, it is my family situation that is causing all my doubts. My mother is calling me everyday just to make me feel bad for leaving her home and going in with my dad. It makes me sick to my stomach every night the way she talks to me. 

And honestly, my dads home is not stable and it is awful living in it. I am only there for Ace because I truely love him. But I do not know if I can handle the crappy living environment (arguments and yelling and such) and the guilt from my mother. It's like trying to hold something above your head while getting punched in the stomach. You want to keep it up there but it just hurts so bad. 

I am sorry if that was a stupid analogy I am literally losing my mind. :

Ace has been great though, despite all the issues. I am sure I can raise him to be a great dog but the trade off is my sanity and health. That is why I am so conflicted. I can keep Ace but stay in this awful situation between homes and constant arguing and guilt, or I can go back to my old life and lose the dog a truly adore and have worked so hard for but not deal with all this drama. 

I am just stuck.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> The school work is not even the issue. Throughout this whole ordeal I have been at the top of all of my classes while still caring for Ace. Ultimately, it is my family situation that is causing all my doubts. My mother is calling me everyday just to make me feel bad for leaving her home and going in with my dad. It makes me sick to my stomach every night the way she talks to me.
> 
> And honestly, my dads home is not stable and it is awful living in it. I am only there for Ace because I truely love him. But I do not know if I can handle the crappy living environment (arguments and yelling and such) and the guilt from my mother. It's like trying to hold something above your head while getting punched in the stomach. You want to keep it up there but it just hurts so bad.
> 
> ...


What about getting your own place or moving in with roommates? 

I understand being manipulated by parents. My mom and I are estranged; have been for almost 4 years now. She would write me long letters and emails and tell me how horrible of a person I am, and that I wouldn't amount to anything. Then a day later she'd call me up acting as if she hadn't just ripped my heart out. She would badger me for money "owed" her for all the things she did when I was a minor. I felt like I was holding our relationship above my head to keep us afloat, only to have her punch me in the stomach over and over again. I've been there. What I ended up doing was cutting all ties to her. I'm not ADVOCATING you do this, but understand that others have been in this situation. You can also ask her to go to counseling with you. You can put your foot down and tell her you no longer accept that behavior from her, and when she calls if she goes off like she usually does, just tell her you love her but cannot talk while she is like that and hang up. The same goes for your father and stepmom, but since you ARE a GUEST, it won't go over well. 

I live in a large city, and there are almost always roommate situations open that allow dogs. That might be in everyone's best interest.  You and Ace get a more stable living situation, and don't have to worry about your family freaking out over the puppy any more.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

I also think it would be wise to find another living situation that feels better. You have to understand that Goldens are sensitive creatures and pick up on the feelings and energy in their environment. Moreover, you can't take care of someone else until after you are able to take care of yourself. If you are not 100%, how can you give Ace 100%? Does that make sense?


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

ilovesandwich said:


> I also think it would be wise to find another living situation that feels better. You have to understand that Goldens are sensitive creatures and pick up on the feelings and energy in their environment. Moreover, you can't take care of someone else until after you are able to take care of yourself. If you are not 100%, how can you give Ace 100%? Does that make sense?
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Yes it makes sense but I don't show any of the negative energy to Ace (except the one time I lsot it when he had an accident). 

Obviously my own living situation is not ideal but I do not have much of a choice. I am a full time student with little to no income. Next semester I have a nice schedule of MW 8-3 so I have free time to work but then again that is less time from Ace. 

At this point I am not worried about Ace. I know if I keep him I can raise him to be an amazing friend. I am more worried about myself and my state of mind. I guess that kind of has nothing to do with this forum then:


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

Nawit said:


> Yes it makes sense but I don't show any of the negative energy to Ace (except the one time I lsot it when he had an accident).
> 
> Obviously my own living situation is not ideal but I do not have much of a choice. I am a full time student with little to no income. Next semester I have a nice schedule of MW 8-3 so I have free time to work but then again that is less time from Ace.
> 
> At this point I am not worried about Ace. I know if I keep him I can raise him to be an amazing friend. I am more worried about myself and my state of mind. I guess that kind of has nothing to do with this forum then:


Let me clarify: the negative energy I referred to is more about difficult interactions between the humans in the house, not necessarily directed at him. Dogs DO pick up on this.

It sounds like you have decided to keep Ace and I am sure he will be a great source of love and friendship. 

Aside from puppy care advice, it might be wise to find some therapy or counseling resources. Your university or college will certainly have this help on hand. Moreover, I'm not sure of your financial aid situation but it is possible to find aid to cover living expenses as well as tuition. You may want to consider a government loan that can help with tuition and living expenses. Generally, you don't have to pay these back until after you've graduated and the interest rates are lowest through the government.


----------



## JMME (Jun 18, 2012)

I've been catching up on this thread and I just wanted to say I admire you trying so hard to do what is best for ace. However, it sounds like this might be a bad time in your life to own a dog. My fiancé is going to med school next fall and I will be in law school and we have already been making plans about potential dog walkers/daycare for long days. If I wasn't in the picture, it would be very difficult for my fiancé to have Ripley by the time he hit internship and his residency. I also come from a divorced family and def understand the kind of stress you must be under! Ultimately your future (getting good grades and getting into med school) is the most important thing. Can you do that with the extra stress of your living situation and owning a dog? Will owning a dog right now limit your options for shadowing/work/club/research experiences that will help you get into school? I think you can do it but the stress of a puppy topped with a bad living situation just might be too much. I also wanted a dog for a long time! But when I lived with my mom she was completely against it. For my first two years of school, I went to community college and lived at home and as long as a lived there I wasn't allowed to own a dog. I also knew that if I got a dog, there would be no chance of me moving back home after school. So my first dog was an 8 year old corgi my dad was getting rid of. Adopting an older dog for my first dog made for a very easy first dog experience! And made it possible for me to do it on my own. I also had a roommate that was more than willing to help out if I had a long day on campus. But the finances KILLED me! One year I ended up spending almost $10,000 on just medical expenses. He had to have a major surgery and many other surprise problems that ate away my savings. By the time we decided to get Ripley, I was living with my fiancé and was in a much better financial situation and had insurance. I don't know if I would have been able to start out with a puppy completely on my own with that added stress. That being said I'm still rooting for you two! You obviously love ace, but you need to look out for you too and what is best for your future and your health. There will always be another chance for you to raise a dog and ace is still young enough that he would transition well.


----------



## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

Don't you have any close friends or relatives to turn to apart from your immediate family? I'm not necessarily talking about help with Ace, just someone to vent and talk things out with besides this forum. Talking things out helps a lot to clear the mind make sound decisions. I also think that you should put your energy into finding your own place to live. If there is any way to do this, I would not give up on Ace if I were you. Although he may seem as a major problem now, he is also a stable and loving presence, contributing to your sanity rather than the contrary. I think if you feel you cannot go on like this and are forced to give him up after all you have been through, you will feel very bitter about it and this will not serve you well in the long term.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

JMME said:


> But the finances KILLED me! One year I ended up spending almost $10,000 on just medical expenses. He had to have a major surgery and many other surprise problems that ate away my savings. By the time we decided to get Ripley, I was living with my fiancé and was in a much better financial situation and had insurance.


The finances almost killed me too!!!! Bear was only 7 months old when he blew his ACL in his left leg, 9 months when he blew his right one. We were lucky to get help from our rescue and our surgeon to cut the costs down on a surgery that is normally $11,000 to do. 

We hear of puppies needing emergency surgery to clear an obstruction from eating something they shouldn't. Tayla's Mom had to get rocks out of Tayla when she was a puppy. Accidents happen, like dog fights at parks that require medical attention. Bear had a rash of medical expenses when he got an ear infection that wouldn't go away, THEN an allergic reaction to an ear cleanser, THEN seasonal/food allergies that made him scratch the fur off around his eyes. I don't even want to know how much we've spent on Bear this past year. I might start crying. 



Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## ally1h (Nov 27, 2012)

You are pre-med, yes? Let me tell you a bit more into my story. I mentioned a couple pages ago I got my pup after grad school. Here is why.

My older sister adopted an Australian shepherd puppy. She had her own job, but still lived our patents. My father is not a dog person and FLIPPED OUT. The weekend she brought the puppy home was the same weekend he kicked her out of the house. She had to find her own place to live and make her own way. She made it, with difficulty, but she made it.

My brother adopted a Shiba inu puppy a year ago. Then he joined the navy. It wasn't in the cards a year ago, but it ended up happening. The puppy now lives with family members because he can't take care of him while in boot camp and on deployments and moving around the country.

Now myself... I held off getting a puppy because of my sister and what happened. I held off because i knew what i was getting into when i went to grad school. I went to 4 years of undergraduate school at The College of New Jersey. Graduated and did an additional 3 years school for my doctorate in Physical Therapy. Grad school is a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of intense work. Med school will be worse as I have close friends who are now medical doctors and have seen first hand. i took classes with med students. i know just how intense med school is. Do you? Grad school, for my doctorate was full time work. 40+ hours a week of in class work or observations, plus, probably, close to an additional 20-30 hours studying a week. That does not include the constant group projects, our final research project to submit to journals, or practical lab work. I also worked a part time job just to meet basic living expenses. I took out loans for the major expenses, including my rent and food. Being part of a medical program meant rotations that required me to travel across the country, MULTIPLE times. I had to pack up and move 10 times in my 3 years of grad school. Despite having a part time job I graduated school owing (no joke) $199,000, for which I am now paying back. There is no way I would have been able to raise a puppy and then find time for an energetic adolescent dog. BUT- that said, I also told you that I know someone who did all the above and still managed to raise a puppy. He was in my class at grad school. The difference was, he was married and his wife was able to help raise the puppy.

You and I are very similar in some aspects. There are members who have suggested you move out, take out loans for living expense, etc. My thought process? No one here knows your exact living situation, but I am definitely against moving out of your parents home. You don't really understand what $199,000 in student loans MEANS until you have to pay it back. It means approximately $2500 a month in student loans on a typical 10 year repayment program. As a resident after graduating med school you will be fortunate to be making $50,000 a year until your residency is over. Do the math. FAFSA doesn't do anything in grad school/med school. You will be lucky to get into a program let alone get scholarships or grants. No person in my entire grad school class had funding. Everyone took out loans.

I am not saying all this to discourage you. I am saying all this as a person who has personally gone through it. I want you to have a realistic expectation of what your future will hold in the next 4+ years. Can you do all that and raise a VERY energetic adolescent dog? My 1 year old pup requires 1-4 hours solid exercise/training/mental stimulation a day. I take him to dog daycare. I take him to the park. I set up play dates. We hike weekly. You think a puppy is a lot of work? It doesn't end when they reach adult size. 

I, personally, don't think you adequately prepared yourself for a puppy and what it means. But then again, with all the extra preparation I did, I don't think I was adequately prepared. It isn't impossible to raise Ace, but it will be hard... Harder than you expect. You will need all the support you can get and that should first start with you and your family. If you can't figure out that now, what on earth will you do with Ace when you are on a med school rotation in California in a tiny studio apartment that doesn't allow dogs because the free housing is through the hospital you will be with? Then you are also talking plane tickets or driving across country.... So many logistics I learned first hand. It eats away at your pocket book at every turn.

Please think through this verrrrrrry carefully. Your emotional state is completely understandable in this situation. Your desire for this adorable ball of fluff is completely understandable. But is it in the best interests for YOU? Is it in the best interests for HIM? 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Checking in. Been a few days since we heard how y'all are doing. Are things improving?


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Things have been okay. A couple accidents here and there but no biggie. I decided to give him a blanket to sleep on on the floor next to my bad to calm him through the nights (he's been crying a lot) and he peed on that so I took it away. 

I understand that everyoen is trying to give me great advice and I appreciate it. But from what I am reading and understanding I just feel very discouraged. I already had my doubts in raising him (basically alone) and just reading all of this makes me feel like throwing it all away and just giving up. What people have said about clubs/research is true. Raising Ace alone is taking away all of my free time. I feel like I always have to watch over him and consequently I have no extra time to shadow the cardiologist I started shadowing over the summer.

I just feel like no matter how hard I try to do this, no matter what I do, there is that voice in the back of my head, my friends and family (especially my mom) telling me to just let go. That it is not the right time. I get that it is not the right time. I get that it would be best to wait. I am not happy at my dads house anyways. But I love the hell out of this dog. It feels so awful just giving him away. And go back to what when I do? My mom's? Where my grandparents hate my guts and I can't go down the stairs past 10 PM? That is just as bad. 

I am in a lose lose. Either I go back to my old lifestyle of more relaxed and laidback in a home I dislike, or I stay at my dads, another place I do not like, with the dog I love, but a lot more stress. I do not know what to do. No matter what I do I will be upset and feel crappy. One night I feel like I can handle Ace and make him the amazing dog I know he can be, and the next my mind fills with negative thoughts telling me just to give up.


----------



## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

Don't give up. It may be very hard raising Ace on your own, but after reading all of your posts here, I really think he is good for you. He is someone to love and be responsible (even too responsible) for and to come home to. You seem really frustrated and unhappy with the rest of your family right now and as I said in a previous post, if you are forced to give Ace up now, after being through so much together, you will feel really lousy, as if you had abandoned your child or your best friend. Things will get better as he grows up


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Nawit said:


> Things have been okay. A couple accidents here and there but no biggie. I decided to give him a blanket to sleep on on the floor next to my bad to calm him through the nights (he's been crying a lot) and he peed on that so I took it away.


Accidents on blankets / beds are bound to happen. After a few cycles in the wash (with vinegar for the first couple washes) the item should be good as new for him to lay on. Are you still taking him out often (ever 20-30 minutes and immediately after waking up, eating, playing, etc?)

Our experience with Bear was the accidents became less frequent, but we kept up the number of potty breaks and he just finally got so used to peeing outside that he doesn't pee inside anymore. We also kept repeating "go potty. go potty. go potty" that he can now potty on command. My DH is always astonished when I take Bear out and he pees and comes right back in. I look at Bear and say, "Uh uh. Go outside and poop!" And bam! he trots outside and poops. It took a long time to really get reliable with that. At 5 months, he couldn't potty on command. 



Nawit said:


> I understand that everyone is trying to give me great advice and I appreciate it. But from what I am reading and understanding I just feel very discouraged. I already had my doubts in raising him (basically alone) and just reading all of this makes me feel like throwing it all away and just giving up. What people have said about clubs/research is true. Raising Ace alone is taking away all of my free time. I feel like I always have to watch over him and consequently I have no extra time to shadow the cardiologist I started shadowing over the summer.
> 
> I just feel like no matter how hard I try to do this, no matter what I do, there is that voice in the back of my head, my friends and family (especially my mom) telling me to just let go. That it is not the right time. I get that it is not the right time. I get that it would be best to wait. I am not happy at my dads house anyways. But I love the hell out of this dog. It feels so awful just giving him away. And go back to what when I do? My mom's? Where my grandparents hate my guts and I can't go down the stairs past 10 PM? That is just as bad.
> 
> I am in a lose lose. Either I go back to my old lifestyle of more relaxed and laid back in a home I dislike, or I stay at my dads, another place I do not like, with the dog I love, but a lot more stress. I do not know what to do. No matter what I do I will be upset and feel crappy. One night I feel like I can handle Ace and make him the amazing dog I know he can be, and the next my mind fills with negative thoughts telling me just to give up.


This may come off in a not-so-nice way, and for that I apologize. I mean everything with respect and good intentions. 

Your viewpoint on the situation is very victim-minded. Your posts come across as if things happen TO you; you see yourself as a passive object in life. That might be where your anger, depression and desperation comes from. You are not a bystander in life. You are the leading role. If you want something to change. Make it change. If you are unhappy where you are, find a different way to live. 

I was SO unhappy living with my mom. I lived with her until I was 20 years old. I was struggling to work full-time (to pay rent to my mom) while going to college full-time at night. I was miserable there. I was always being yelled at. I didn't even have my own room (cause I shared a room with my mom). It was horrible. I had decided to move out on my own and was in the process of finding a place and saving up money to move. I wanted to leave for years before anything came to fruition. But I took an active part in planning where my life was taking me, so I didn't feel stuck where I was. 

In the end, she kicked me out right before finals of my Spring Semester of 2007. I crashed at one of my girlfriend's PARENT's house for two weeks until I could move into my own apartment. It was HARD living alone in a tiny studio apartment with 2 cats and 0 time for myself, and paying for college all by myself. I was working from 8 am - 5 pm, going to school every night from 5:30 pm - 11 pm, coming home to do homework, chores and MAYBE sleep for a few hours. I did that until 2010 when I dropped out of college b/c no local university would take me as a transfer student, even though I had all my general ed done, and was rocking a 4.0 GPA. Now here we are in 2013 and I've come LEAGUES from where I was in 2007. 

Why?

Because I made it happen. 

The moral of all this, is there will ALWAYS be obstacles in life. You have to decide if you're going to lay down and let the obstacles get the best of you; or if you're going to fight your way, tooth and nail, through EVERYTHING life has to throw at you, rise to the top, and ask life if that's the best they got? 

Because trust me, you can DO ANYTHING you want. Your potential is limitless. 

So today's situation sucks. Big deal. Doesn't mean you have to let tomorrow suck too. I highly recommend you seek out counseling from your school so you have a safe place to go to talk about the problems you're having at home. A counselor should help you develop tools to communicate better with your family and diffuse some of the tension and stress. Next, you need to figure out a way to work and still achieve your college goals. The income will give you greater independence and eventually you can move out on your own. In the meantime, let this sit with you and sink in for a few days and see how you feel afterwards.

I know you can do whatever you want to do. I hope you can see that soon too. :wave::wave::wave:


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

Nawit said:


> Raising Ace alone is taking away all of my free time. I feel like I always have to watch over him and consequently I have no extra time to shadow the cardiologist I started shadowing over the summer.


If your attitude is that Ace is taking away from your life, then this is not a good fit. 

A lot of people have said Ace is good for you. But, Ace isn't meant to be JUST a source of comfort. You need to be good FOR him. 

Decide if YOU are willing to MAKE it work or not. You need to have an active role in your life instead of making it seem like things are just happening to you & you have no control. Don't be a victim. How can you parent/care for another being if you aren't caring for yourself? 

What are your priorities? Are you giving up career opportunities? Are you neglecting him? Can you do both? You need to be confident in your answer. There's no time for dilly-dallying. 




Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I have literally thought about nothing but my current situation with Ace for the past couple days. Although I have no 100% decided, I would like to know if anyone on this forum is interested in taking in a golden puppy. Everyone here seems to be great people and I would know that I am giving Ace to a good family. 

I am really not sure how this works. The whole giving up process. As I have said before I still have no decided as to what I want to do but I want to have the option ready if it comes down to that. During the week I am just too busy to give all of my attention to this dog. I do everything I can but sometimes I feel like he needs more. Not to mention I hate where I am living. But on the weekends, like today. I woke up with him, ate fed him, took him out for 2 walks and have been running around with him all day. Right now he is sleeping on my lap. I don't want to give that up either, but I can't offer him that every single day too. 

I have been thinking about the future and if I was to go to medical/dental school, I would be in the hospital from morning till night. I just would not have time in the middle of the day to care for a dog. Even though by then he might be okay alone for a long time, I don't want to do that to such an amazing dog. I see Ace growing to be a fantastic companion, a best friend. But I think he might be better off with someone else. 

So back to the whole giving him up think (just makes me cringe saying it). If anyone is interested please let me know. As stated before I have not completely decided on letting Ace go but I want to have someone I can trust to give him to if it comes down to that. 

Thank you all for your advice. It really has opened my mind up.


----------



## Heart O'Gold (Jul 31, 2012)

Hi, I haven't been posting a lot lately but saw your thread and just wanted to offer some support. Ace is so cute and it's clear that you love him very much. I am in NY, too. (Putnam County) I wish I could say I could take him, but we're not quite ready for a second pup yet. Please be extremely careful rehoming him. There are several golden retriever rescue organizations in NY that would make sure he went to the right family. Here's a link to one Sunshine Golden Retriever Rescue - Home Best of luck with your decision.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Sorry to hear it came down to this. Hopefully someone on this amazing board has room for another Golden. 

I know the decision is hard, but I think you've made the right one. It's going to hurt for a few weeks, but it's the healthier decision for both of you. You'll be able to concentrate on your school work and hopefully find more balance in your life. I'm sure you've learned a whole lot more about life in your short time with Ace. 

Hopefully members in your area or closer to it will be able to take him in. If not, try contacting a GR rescue, they'll be sure to find him a good home as well. 

Don't beat yourself up about it either. Your situation just worked against you and you still have many many more years to get your own life in balance before introducing a furry friend again. You tried and gave it your all. You spent months thinking of how to really make it work and pretty much did it on your own. 

I think Ace will grow to be a wonderful dog. You've started him on the right path and hopefully his new family will be able to continue down that road for him. For now, get your life straight and if the future allows it, a new Golden may be in it. 

Good luck finding a new home for Ace. Hopefully members here have more resources into how to relocate Ace. Have you contacted your breeder about rehoming Ace?


----------



## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

Before offering him up, please review your contract and consult with your breeder. A reputable breeder will want to know where the pup is headed and may even have a first right of refusal clause in the purchase agreement.


----------



## donkrx (Sep 15, 2013)

I would get help with rehoming instead of just offering him up on the forum. Even though the forum has been helpful and lots of people here are kind, informed, and true dog lovers.... its unlikely that everyone is. It's still the internet. Unless you're willing to meet the potential owners in person and do a little interviewing yourself, I would ask for help.

And sorry to hear you and Ace both are in this situation. When you do get a dog in the future, just make sure everything is stable in your life and you can take care of the dog then & in the future. From your posts, the family stress, puppy commitment and undergrad workload ... then med school to come later ... its all a recipe for disaster. People go crazy over less.


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

donkrx said:


> I would get help with rehoming instead of just offering him up on the forum. Even though the forum has been helpful and lots of people here are kind, informed, and true dog lovers.... its unlikely that everyone is. It's still the internet. Unless you're willing to meet the potential owners in person and do a little interviewing yourself, I would ask for help.


The forum is a family here. Most of us have connections with each other (including physical meetings). Many dogs have found forever homes through transport chains with forum members. 

But the first step in any rehoming is contacting the breeder. A reputable breeder nearly always has it written in their contract that they puppy comes back to them first. 

Secondly, if the breeder doesn't want to take Ace back, and no love connection happens with a forum member - you should surrender him to a golden retriever rescue. Puppies are in high demand and these rescues typically have waiting lists for puppies like Ace. 

I wish you the best of luck and hope you let us know what happens to Ace. 




Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I already contacted the breeder and they said that they would not take him back and quickly hung up. Seemed like they wanted nothing to do with me after they gave Ace to me. Shows how awful my decision in breeders was. 

Either way I am still not 100% on what I am going to do with Ace, although I am leaning towards moving forward without him. I love him very much but after today where I spent all day with him and saw how tired he can actually get and how much energy he actually has, I know that he can have better, and he deserves it. I just can't offer that on a day to day basis, especially in my upcoming years of studying medicine (hopefully). 

Thank you all for your help throughout this time. If I end up giving him away I just hope I can find him a place where he will be as happy as he can be.


----------



## donkrx (Sep 15, 2013)

Brave said:


> The forum is a family here. Most of us have connections with each other (including physical meetings). Many dogs have found forever homes through transport chains with forum members.


Sorry :/ , I guess I'm just a bit jaded at the what I've seen happen on the internet.

Besides I'm not saying the people here aren't great, they obviously are (almost all people that love animals are good people)... I'm just cautioning against surrendering to whoever simply PMs him. If the person is backed by the support of the forum, well, that's totally different.


----------



## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

You've made 18 posts...hardly in a position to pass judgment on this forum. Stick around for a few years and then get back to us. You caught me at a bad time so I apologize for being so forthright. I'm usually more diplomatic.


----------



## floridakelsie (Sep 18, 2013)

One more comment...please get a crate, it'll change your life! Also, be sure that Ace gets lots of exercise... that is so important... just going out to potty isn't enough. He'll need lots of walks! Good luck!


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

donkrx said:


> Sorry :/ , I guess I'm just a bit jaded at the what I've seen happen on the internet.
> 
> Besides I'm not saying the people here aren't great, they obviously are (almost all people that love animals are good people)... I'm just cautioning against surrendering to whoever simply PMs him. If the person is backed by the support of the forum, well, that's totally different.


For most forums and the internet in general I am quite skeptical of members. There is something different and certainly genuine about this forum though. This forum is dedicated to something we love, our dogs. Because it is a forum on a more personal level, I personally believe that every member here is genuine in their feelings about the topic at hand, Golden Retrievers. We're all here wanting to help one another as a family would. If anyone here is going to jeopardize that, I am sure the mod team would be quick to resolve that. Not alot of "bad seeds" lurking around here from what I've seen, and that's thanks to the members here at GRF

Yes there are "those" people out there, but to find them on a forum such as this is pretty rare. No one here is going to take a dog in to possibly sell. I've been here a short while compared to others, but I have not seen one member here with any ill intentions.

just my .02


----------



## Ripley16 (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm sorry to hear that your situation has come to this, and I wish that I was able to help you and Ace out. Unfortunately, I already have my hands full with balancing my school work, and taking care of Ripley, as well as living about 5,000km's away from you. If you do end up deciding to re-home Ace, I would contact a rescue. There are many organizations with amazing foster families willing to open up their homes to dogs like Ace, and i'm 100% certain that they would be able to find Ace a new, safe, and loving home. 

After reading through the posts on this thread, I have come to the understanding that it is probably not the time for you to have a dog. Coming from someone who got a puppy in university while living with my parents, It's really hard, even if you have family support behind you like I did. Puppies are huge responsibilities, with both of your time, and your money. My parents have covered all of the costs associated with Ripley (which is substantial), and I couldn't have imagined doing this on my own while going through school. My mom said that between food, vet bills, supplies and the cost of the puppy alone, in one year, they spent $8,000 on Ripley, and that is only the first 12 months of owning her. If I didn't have my parents behind me, owning a dog would be impossible at this time in my life. Though I have picked up the majority of the work associated with the dog, she is a family pet, and will stay with my parents when I move out. I am moving onto campus in January, and have to leave Ripley behind. It's going to be really hard for me, but I know this is best for the dog, and for myself. I have an entire army behind me when it comes to raising our dog, and couldn't imagine doing it without my family. Without their support, I don't think that someone in my situation is truly prepared to make all of the sacrifices necessary when raising a puppy. After I am finished my schooling, and have a real job, and my own place, I will get another Golden, because at this point, my parents are so attached to Ripley, that there is 0 chance of me being able to take her with me. Even when I am financially stable, it will still be a huge adjustment to bring a puppy into my home, in which I don't have someone else to look after him/her.

I couldn't imagine being in your situation, and the struggle that you are facing at this time. Parting with a pet, no matter how long or short you have had them for, is immensely difficult, and I commend you for being able to realize that this situation with yourself and Ace is just not healthy for either of you. Though you may not be wanting to part with him, you need to think of the long run, and where you want to be in say, 6 months to a year. Can you imagine Ace being apart of that, while still keeping in mind of your own happiness? Even think of 3-5 years down the line. If medical school is in your horizon, You will still be in school, or residency at that time. While a medical resident, you will be working 24 hour shifts. This may not be a great situation to bring a dog (no matter how young or old) into. At this time, from what I have read, I would encourage you into re-homing Ace. I believe it will be to the benefit of you both. It will be difficult, but you will get over it eventually, as will Ace. 

If you do decide to keep Ace, You need to change the way you are looking at the situation. He should not be a burden to you, he is a gift, and blessing, and should bring joy and happiness to your life, not only stress and worry (mind you, this is happen from time to time!). I believe that if you will yourself capable of keeping him, you can do it. It will be a great struggle, but it is 100% doable, if you wish it.

I am wishing yourself and Ace all of the luck in the world, and hope that making your decision will not come at too much of a cost to the both of you.


----------



## donkrx (Sep 15, 2013)

dezymond said:


> For most forums and the internet in general I am quite skeptical of members. There is something different and certainly genuine about this forum though. This forum is dedicated to something we love, our dogs. Because it is a forum on a more personal level, I personally believe that every member here is genuine in their feelings about the topic at hand, Golden Retrievers. We're all here wanting to help one another as a family would. If anyone here is going to jeopardize that, I am sure the mod team would be quick to resolve that. Not alot of "bad seeds" lurking around here from what I've seen, and that's thanks to the members here at GRF


Understood  and I hope I didn't offend anyone because everyone has been very helpful and nice to me as well.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

donkrx said:


> Understood  and I hope I didn't offend anyone because everyone has been very helpful and nice to me as well.


I take no offense, I just had to mention how genuine members are on this forum compared to the rest of the internet. It's ok to be skeptical, in fact it's good practice especially online, but over here at GRF (and I spend alot of time lurking) I haven't ran into one member with any ill intention. Sure there are some that don't see eye to eye, but there is no bad blood between any members here from what I've seen. 

This forum is on more on a personal level compared to many other forums that concentrate around hobbies or possessions. I frequent many and have been staff on a few so I've seen it all. This forum doesn't compare to the others when it comes to quality members. I wish that all forums followed the fellowship around here, but unfortunately that isn't the case. If "those" kinds of members do come around here they must not stay long or staff do a great job of making sure those types of members don't last long here. Either way it makes for a more fun and friendly environment. There's room for debate here as with any other forum, but I haven't seen any "trolls" around here.

But just to get back on topic, let's help Nawit find Ace a good home, even if he's only entertaining the idea for now. Unfortunately I'm across the country and have no resources in NY


----------



## Bob Dylan (Mar 31, 2009)

I wish you all the best with ACE (I like his name, it was my Dad's nickname) I hope you will find him a home that will fit his needs as a puppy. If things were different in my home I would take him in a heartbeat!


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I thank you for all of your help in this tough situation. I have had a couple PMs from people and I am trying to hear back from them. 

But for my knowledge, what should I, as the person looking to find Ace a new home, have prepared to send off with him. Obviously his food, toys, crate, and all that stuff, but paperwork wise. I have his medical records, and I just made sure I registered for AKC online (had the paper from breeder but completely forgot about it until now). 

Does he need all of his shots? I will be completely honest here, I love Ace to death and would love to keep him, but it seems as if he is leaving my household and I am pressured for money as is. If I am just going to give him away should I still pay for his last round of shots? I will if I need to, because like I said I love him more than anyone can imagine, but I am currently in a situation where I am working my butt off and saving every penny to find my own place to get my own life situated. 

Basically, I just need to know what I need to have ready to send off with him if I do find another home for Ace. 

I hope I don't come across as cheap or anything, I'm just trying to get out in the world on my own and can take everything I can get.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Sidenote: Ace has been itching a lot lately. I am not sure what the cause is. I have not put on flea medicine on him yet because the most he is outside these days (since he does not have all of his vaccinations) is just in our yard to poo and pee. But I am going to go buy a couple months supply so I have some for now and the possible next home. However, there are no noticeable bugs on him. He just bites and itches a lot almost everywhere. Possibly allergy to food (using Purina Puppy Chow because it was suggested by my breeder, but the more I look into it the more I realize I should probably get better food)? Infection? Maybe just needs a bath? (bathed him 2 weeks ago). 

Just want to make sure Ace is in tip top shape for his next home.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear things aren't working out for you and little Ace.

I hope you will consider contacting a GR Rescue-here is the list of them for the state of NY.

Click on their name, their listing will come up with contact info, their website link. You can go to their website to find out about the Group, Surrender info is provided also. 

*The Golden Retriever Club of America National Rescue Committee*

*New York*

Autumn Valley Golden Retriever Rescue
Golden Huggs Golden Retriever Rescue
Golden Retriever Rescue of Central New York
Golden Retriever Rescue Operated With Love Statewide, Inc. (GRROWLS)
Long Island Golden Retriever Rescue (LIGRR)
Peppertree Rescue, Inc.


----------



## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

Nawit said:


> Sidenote: But I am going to go buy a couple months supply so I have some for now and the possible next home. However, there are no noticeable bugs on him. He just bites and itches a lot almost everywhere. Possibly allergy to food (using Purina Puppy Chow because it was suggested by my breeder, but the more I look into it the more I realize I should probably get better food)? Infection? Maybe just needs a bath? (bathed him 2 weeks ago).
> 
> Just want to make sure Ace is in tip top shape for his next home.


A couple of months supply? The longer you drag this out, the harder the transition it will be on Ace. Has he seen a vet at all while under your care? Has he been wormed multiple times? I would ensure he has age appropriate vaccinations accomplished immediately. As for food, please don't switch as he'll just be switched again in his new home and changes are stressfull enough without adding upset tummy to the list.


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Nawit*



Nawit said:


> Sidenote: Ace has been itching a lot lately. I am not sure what the cause is. I have not put on flea medicine on him yet because the most he is outside these days (since he does not have all of his vaccinations) is just in our yard to poo and pee. But I am going to go buy a couple months supply so I have some for now and the possible next home. However, there are no noticeable bugs on him. He just bites and itches a lot almost everywhere. Possibly allergy to food (using Purina Puppy Chow because it was suggested by my breeder, but the more I look into it the more I realize I should probably get better food)? Infection? Maybe just needs a bath? (bathed him 2 weeks ago).
> 
> Just want to make sure Ace is in tip top shape for his next home.


Ace needs to see a vet-the itching could be a lot of things and you can't just treat a puppy for fleas-you need a vet's expertise and advice. This could harm him.


----------



## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Signing ACE over to one of these rescues would help to ensure ACE gets a wonderful new start. They have the ability to screen potential homes and probably a long waiting list for youngsters coming in for rehoming.

AKC papers and dog supplies would no doubt be well appreciated (dog food may need to be unopened) and they can also no doubt give the final puppy shots.




CAROLINA MOM said:


> I'm sorry to hear things aren't working out for you and little Ace.
> 
> I hope you will consider contacting a GR Rescue-here is the list of them for the state of NY.
> 
> ...


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

SheetsSM said:


> A couple of months supply? The longer you drag this out, the harder the transition it will be on Ace. Has he seen a vet at all while under your care? Has he been wormed multiple times? I would ensure he has age appropriate vaccinations accomplished immediately. As for food, please don't switch as he'll just be switched again in his new home and changes are stressfull enough without adding upset tummy to the list.


He has been wormed and seen a vet for vaccinations a couple times already. I am not trying to drag this out. Just because I have a couple months supply does not mean I can't give whatever is left to the next owner. I'd rather have protection than no protection at all. 

His next shots are due this upcoming week but I am struggling to get the money together seeing as neither of my parents are willing to help out. That is why I am wondering if I could wait for the next owner. Like I said, if necessary I will pay but it is tough for me and people need to understand that. And before people start telling me that I should not have gotten a dog if finances are tight, my dad said he would help me pay and recently stopped helping at all with finances regarding the dog due to the child support he is paying my mom, threatening me that if I want help with the dog I have to go to the courts and cut child support if I wanted help, and I'm not doing that.


----------



## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

You do have a ragbag of problems at the moment. Is your decision to give Ace up really final? I think you should think this over very well and be absolutely sure that you will go through with it before finding a new owner for him.


----------



## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

I know you love your pup, nobody doubts that. But, I do think you are making the right decision to let him go.
Maybe in a few years, once you have your degree, a good job and your own place to live, you will be more ready for a pup.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

eleni said:


> You do have a ragbag of problems at the moment. Is your decision to give Ace up really final? I think you should think this over very well and be absolutely sure that you will go through with it before finding a new owner for him.


I am almost positive. Like I have said before. This dog is wonderful, but only this past weekend have a seen how much energy and exercise he actually can use in one day and how much happier he can possibly be. 

The funny thing is, now that I told my mom and dad that I am giving him up, they are both telling me to keep him and saying they feel bad that I am letting him go. Such is life I guess.


----------



## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I think it's time for you to consider Ace's needs...not yours, not your mom or dad's, just ACE.

If you don't have the money for vaccinations, then you won't have the money for any other vet care emergencies he might need.

You are an adult now. You need to find decide what is best for Ace. It sounds to me like he needs to go to a family who is ready for a puppy. 

It isn't a fault to have found out he's more than you can do right now. There will be time later and when the time is right, it's the most wonderful experience you could imagine!


----------



## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

I'm sorry for you both it is working out this way, but in the long run it will be good. I encourage you to contact the rescue that Carolina mom sent as they will be a great resource in transitioning the pup to a new home. They can answer all of these questions and make it a smooth transition for you both. Sometimes life takes us on crazy rides, and it is too bad it didn't work out for you. A rescue will make sure Ace goes to a home that will love him as much as you do. Good luck in your studies!

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

Ok, if they are unwilling for you to let him go, maybe you could somehow ask them to commit themselves to helping you with him? I know so many people here say that it's best for you and the puppy to give him up now, but I really hate to see him go after all.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

Nawit said:


> He has been wormed and seen a vet for vaccinations a couple times already. I am not trying to drag this out. Just because I have a couple months supply does not mean I can't give whatever is left to the next owner. I'd rather have protection than no protection at all.
> 
> His next shots are due this upcoming week but I am struggling to get the money together seeing as neither of my parents are willing to help out. That is why I am wondering if I could wait for the next owner. Like I said, if necessary I will pay but it is tough for me and people need to understand that. And before people start telling me that I should not have gotten a dog if finances are tight, my dad said he would help me pay and recently stopped helping at all with finances regarding the dog due to the child support he is paying my mom, threatening me that if I want help with the dog I have to go to the courts and cut child support if I wanted help, and I'm not doing that.


If you are in a situation where you cannot even afford vaccines at the time they are due, you need to seek help from a rescue group. Puppies have emergencies & lots of unexpected expenses as both the puppy and human learn. You don't want to get into a messy situation where you cannot help Ace. 

I used to foster dogs before we got Sandwich. Rescue groups will take in dogs with whatever they have. They have limited funds, often, but they will make it work. Sometimes they have a relationship with a vet for discounts. 

The best part about a rescue group is that they have a thorough screening process. They will probably place Ace with a family who can afford to buy the things he needs. 

Additionally, there are long waiting lists to rescue a Golden puppy. Sandwich came from a breeder because we had been on rescue waiting lists for almost TWO years to adopt a Golden in the Seattle area. Ace will be in high demand. 

If you decide to rehome him, just contact the rescue group & give them whatever you have. They'll take care of Ace and any loose ends. 

Like some have mentioned, make sure you're certain & make sure you don't drag this out. 

I'm sympathetic. This is a tricky situation to be in. But it seems like the home Ace has now is really unstable & you are really stressed out. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

I second (or third) giving him to a golden retriever specific rescue. Don't just drop him at the shelter. He needs to go to a rescue. They will take him as is (without the last set of shots) but will gladly take ALL the paperwork and supplies. There is literally miles of waiting lists for a golden puppy. And the rescue will find the perfect family for Ace. They have so much more experience placing a puppy than you do. It is in Ace's best interest. 

And once your life is settled and more secure (after college and all that) you can consider getting another dog. Though, perhaps an adult would work better with your future career. 

Please let us know where Ace ends up. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

As an update, I have tons of members willing to take Ace and put him into a wonderful home. The main problem that I am dealing with now is my father. He helped me buy Ace (paid half) and will not just let me give him up to someone. My dad's world revolves around money, and he is using that same mentality here with Ace. I can't just up and take Ace away and give him for free if my dad does not agree. After all, even though he refuses to help pay now, he did help me with the finances with Ace, his supplies, and vaccinations. I have to respect his decision too, as angry as it makes you.

After telling my dad's family that I am thinking of giving Ace away, they all felt bad and decided to try and help me. I still don't know how I feel about it. I for one know that I cannot live in this house much longer. I have been saving up and I am looking for my own place. But the entire family says they will take care of Ace if I am no longer there. Honestly, I don't trust them. Take care to them means feed, take out to poop, and throw him back in my room/crate. They have an old (11 years) cocherspaniel that was not trained, fed human food, and now just always looks upset and not very healthy. Granted this was the past and I already have started Ace on a good foot, I don't feel comfortable leaving Ace with them. But then the other part of me says, "Hey, you can go back to your moms, come exercise Ace and play with him and then go back and be comfortable knowing that they are at least watching him." But I just worry they won't care for him the way I do or anyone else on this forum would. 

Bottom line: I am still looking to rehome Ace, but with a fee in order to get my Dad onboard as well. He spent quite a chunk of money on Ace and although I disagree with my father's take on Ace, I understand what he is saying. If it was up to me, I have someone from the forum that I am DYING to give Ace to because I know he will be happy there. But I just can't disrespect my father like that. He helped me with all the funds; I can't just disregard my father's opinion on this matter, no matter how much I disagree. I know it seems pitiful that I am even thinking of money in this situation, but I must respect my father. He did fund most of it. 

Not sure how this is all going to be taken in by the community, but this is the situation I'm in. If anyone has any ideas or advice, as usual, I am more than willing to listen. 

Regardless of how anyone feels about the matter, I appreciate all of your help. You have all made me a stronger person even though I may have failed at something I was so excited about.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Hmm was under the impression you have done everything for Ace by yourself. To be honest, I don't think entrusting Ace to your dad's family is any better of a situation for Ace than he is now, in fact worse because you won't be there. Not only that but because of their current dog, the cockerspaniel, doesn't seem like they care all that much and that they're just there to provide the necessities.

I don't want to talk numbers as I don't believe that is any of our business. Considering he paid half, set up some sort of payment plan to pay your dad his half back over time. For someone to finally step in like that isn't right, imo. Yes he helped you purchase Ace, but he needs to realize that he wasn't ever really there to help or really completely on board with the idea either. I'm sure he wouldn't mind so as long as he gets his money back within a reasonable amount of time. 

There's a saying "money talks", but in a situation like this, this goes beyond money. This is dealing with another living creature. This would probably upset him, but you could point out the current state of their Cockerspaniel. For a dog to go untrained, not fed a proper diet, and being unhealthy, how is that fair to the dog? Any loving person with a dog is willing to provide a quality life for their beloved pet. From what you've told us, it doesn't seem like they really put in any effort into raising a pet. It's just money and I'm sure you'll find a way to pay your father back, he won't be happy but hey he'll have his money eventually. 

This situation goes beyond finances and it comes down to the fact that you don't think you can provide the quality of life that Ace deserves. You seem to be the only one that is looking out for Ace's happiness and well-being. You need to bring the points you're telling us to your father and he should be able to understand. If you're not happy in his house, how do you expect Ace to be? Do they really want a dog that is easily 10x the size of their Cockerspaniel in the house with tons more energy? It can get destructive, plain and simple. 

I'm no parent, but as a father he should be able to respect his son's decision when it comes to a situation as delicate as this. If it comes down to the money, I have to say he was never really in it for the best interest of Ace. 

You've brought up many good valid points to giving up Ace. Fact of the matter is, if you feel you can't provide the quality of life that Ace deserves, I don't think anyone under your father's roof can because you are the only one there that genuinely cares for him. If you feel Ace needs to get out of the house, do not drag it on. Tell your father he'll get his money back and that it was a hard lesson learned by you and how much you've grown. You've had no issues telling us about your situation, it's time to tell your father and mother the toll it's taking on you.


----------



## Caesar's Buddy (May 25, 2010)

I have been gone for a while. Just read through this thread and something does not sound right here.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Caesar's Buddy said:


> I have been gone for a while. Just read through this thread and something does not sound right here.


Please, do tell.


----------



## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

How much do you want to sell him for. Rehoming is just a nicer word for selling or giving away. Sorry, that's the harsh truth.

Again, you need to do what is best for Ace. You can work out the finances with your dad at a later date. Beyond that? Not sure we can be of any further help.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Penny's Mom said:


> How much do you want to sell him for. Rehoming is just a nicer word for selling or giving away. Sorry, that's the harsh truth.
> 
> Again, you need to do what is best for Ace. You can work out the finances with your dad at a later date. Beyond that? Not sure we can be of any further help.


The forum has done everything that it can do for me and I appreciate it. At this point I am just updating my situation so people know what is going on. I am in a tough situation and not everyone is going to be happy. And personally, I am upset either way this goes. I need the help, but I want the best for Ace. I may have found a potential owner that will help out but who knows what will happen. Bottom line is, at the end of the day, when I post what ends up happening to Ace, somebody is going to think I'm the bad guy. Whether it's my family and friends for giving up on Ace, or a forum member for rehoming him with money involved, or even him going to a rescue, somebody is going to be upset about it. I can't make everyone happy. I have to look at myself and see what is best for both me and Ace and do exactly that. 

I thank the entire forum for all of the help they have given me. I have made new friends and learned a lot in the short period of time that I have been posting. But I need to take a step towards what I feel will be best for me and Ace. I assure you I will not let Ace go somewhere that is not good for him. Even after only 1 month of being with him he is like my baby and I would never put him in a place that I know he won't be happy or healthy.


----------



## Caesar's Buddy (May 25, 2010)

Nawit said:


> Please, do tell.


*You are a smart individual... I think you know what I mean.*

Let me just say this. Ace needs a good stable home. A student in college in pre-med does not have the time to devote to providing a good quality home to a golden retriever. You should let him go to someone who can provide it.

Should you ask for money? Nope, not in a million years! Give him up to a rescue group today without any monetary strings attached.

Not trying to be harsh, just being truthful and making my two cents known here.


----------



## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

This is where we differ: bold is mine. This is only about ACE because he can't defend himself, he has no voice. No matter what happens, you will go on and do fine. It's Ace that may not be that lucky, depending on which choice you make. My only concern is the puppy. How much does your father want before he lets him go?



Nawit said:


> The forum has done everything that it can do for me and I appreciate it. At this point I am just updating my situation so people know what is going on. I am in a tough situation and not everyone is going to be happy. And personally, I am upset either way this goes. I need the help, but I want the best for Ace. I may have found a potential owner that will help out but who knows what will happen. Bottom line is, at the end of the day, when I post what ends up happening to Ace, somebody is going to think I'm the bad guy. Whether it's my family and friends for giving up on Ace, or a forum member for rehoming him with money involved, or even him going to a rescue, somebody is going to be upset about it. I can't make everyone happy. I have to look at myself and see *what is best for both me and Ace* and do exactly that.
> 
> I thank the entire forum for all of the help they have given me. I have made new friends and learned a lot in the short period of time that I have been posting. But I need to take a step towards what I feel will be best for me and Ace. I assure you I will not let Ace go somewhere that is not good for him. Even after only 1 month of being with him he is like my baby and I would never put him in a place that I know he won't be happy or healthy.


----------



## Caesar's Buddy (May 25, 2010)

Nawit said:


> The forum has done everything that it can do for me and I appreciate it. At this point I am just updating my situation so people know what is going on. I am in a tough situation and not everyone is going to be happy. And personally, I am upset either way this goes. I need the help, but I want the best for Ace. I may have found a potential owner that will help out but who knows what will happen. Bottom line is, at the end of the day, when I post what ends up happening to Ace, somebody is going to think I'm the bad guy. Whether it's my family and friends for giving up on Ace, or a forum member for rehoming him with money involved,* or even him going to a rescue, *somebody is going to be upset about it. I can't make everyone happy. I have to look at myself and see what is best for both me and Ace and do exactly that.
> 
> I thank the entire forum for all of the help they have given me. I have made new friends and learned a lot in the short period of time that I have been posting. But I need to take a step towards what I feel will be best for me and Ace. I assure you I will not let Ace go somewhere that is not good for him. Even after only 1 month of being with him he is like my baby and I would never put him in a place that I know he won't be happy or healthy.


No one on this site will be upset if he goes to a rescue site with no money involved. Trust me, we all want what is best for Ace.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

I have found a potential home for Ace via reference from someone on the forum. I am going to visit the house sometime this week to make sure that it will be somewhere that Ace will be happy and healthy growing up. Anyone have any tips on anything I should look for or ask while I visit?


----------



## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

I think it should read: I am going to do what is best for Ace. That "me" is secondary. You will survive.

Yes, see where the pup is being kept, make sure it is indoors, maybe get a vet reference. If it is a forum member, I am confident that Ace will get a good home.


----------



## ilovesandwich (May 1, 2013)

EDIT: Just saw your latest post. But here's what I think anyways. 

If I were you, I would move forward with a rescue group & pay your dad back yourself over time. Maybe you have to sell something of your own, maybe you have to get a job. 

I was under the impression that you were supporting Ace all by yourself. This is obviously more complicated if your father paid for Ace. This is also the first I am reading about the cocker spaniel. I thought your family was not familiar/comfortable with dogs, but it sounds like they do know about dogs but they are lazy about ownership. 

I am surprised your breeder did not help more. You have AKC papers and sounds like Ace was expensive. You would think the breeder was reputable.

Again, I would go ahead and contact a rescue group. I personally do not think you have a right to ask for payment for Ace & a rescue group would not be able to do that for you. They are however experts at placing dogs in appropriate homes. I'm sorry if your dad is having a hard time with this but after all of this chaos, put the dog first. Don't keep a puppy in a difficult situation because of a thousand dollars or whatever it was. You need to be Ace's advocate. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Nawit said:


> I have found a potential home for Ace via reference from someone on the forum. I am going to visit the house sometime this week to make sure that it will be somewhere that Ace will be happy and healthy growing up. Anyone have any tips on anything I should look for or ask while I visit?


If they have other dogs, ask about their other dogs; temperament, quirks, training, exercise, etc. If they put in the effort with their other dogs, if they have any, the effort will be put into Ace. 

Considering the person referring you is a member of this forum, I can only think highly of the suggestion. I don't think anyone here would steer you wrong, and especially if it involves a Golden puppy. 

It's a very uncomfortable situation, but you are doing the right thing, imo. We've exchanged PMs back and forth so I won't repeat what I said, but you already know how I feel about this situation. 

Hope the home you're checking out soon is Ace's new forever home. Good luck!


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Nawit said:


> I have literally thought about nothing but my current situation with Ace for the past couple days. Although I have no 100% decided, I would like to know if anyone on this forum is interested in taking in a golden puppy. Everyone here seems to be great people and I would know that I am giving Ace to a good family.
> 
> I am really not sure how this works. The whole giving up process. As I have said before I still have no decided as to what I want to do but I want to have the option ready if it comes down to that. During the week I am just too busy to give all of my attention to this dog. I do everything I can but sometimes I feel like he needs more. Not to mention I hate where I am living. But on the weekends, like today. I woke up with him, ate fed him, took him out for 2 walks and have been running around with him all day. Right now he is sleeping on my lap. I don't want to give that up either, but I can't offer him that every single day too.
> 
> ...


I'm so sorry.  I pray you make the right decision. I support you either way dear. I am here for you always. {{{HUGS}}}


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Nawit said:


> He has been wormed and seen a vet for vaccinations a couple times already. I am not trying to drag this out. Just because I have a couple months supply does not mean I can't give whatever is left to the next owner. I'd rather have protection than no protection at all.
> 
> His next shots are due this upcoming week but I am struggling to get the money together seeing as neither of my parents are willing to help out. That is why I am wondering if I could wait for the next owner. Like I said, if necessary I will pay but it is tough for me and people need to understand that. And before people start telling me that I should not have gotten a dog if finances are tight, my dad said he would help me pay and recently stopped helping at all with finances regarding the dog due to the child support he is paying my mom, threatening me that if I want help with the dog I have to go to the courts and cut child support if I wanted help, and I'm not doing that.


I'm so sorry!:no:


----------



## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Nawit said:


> As an update, I have tons of members willing to take Ace and put him into a wonderful home. The main problem that I am dealing with now is my father. He helped me buy Ace (paid half) and will not just let me give him up to someone. My dad's world revolves around money, and he is using that same mentality here with Ace. I can't just up and take Ace away and give him for free if my dad does not agree. After all, even though he refuses to help pay now, he did help me with the finances with Ace, his supplies, and vaccinations. I have to respect his decision too, as angry as it makes you.
> 
> After telling my dad's family that I am thinking of giving Ace away, they all felt bad and decided to try and help me. I still don't know how I feel about it. I for one know that I cannot live in this house much longer. I have been saving up and I am looking for my own place. But the entire family says they will take care of Ace if I am no longer there. Honestly, I don't trust them. Take care to them means feed, take out to poop, and throw him back in my room/crate. They have an old (11 years) cocherspaniel that was not trained, fed human food, and now just always looks upset and not very healthy. Granted this was the past and I already have started Ace on a good foot, I don't feel comfortable leaving Ace with them. But then the other part of me says, "Hey, you can go back to your moms, come exercise Ace and play with him and then go back and be comfortable knowing that they are at least watching him." But I just worry they won't care for him the way I do or anyone else on this forum would.
> 
> ...


I would arrange to pay your father back later like everyone else suggested. Both the rescue route and the other forum member route sound great!


----------



## DeNovo206 (Oct 24, 2013)

Hi,

I'm sorry if this advice is coming a little bit too late to be of much help. I was mainly just writing to offer you some optimism for your situation. I got my first golden, Doc, a couple of months after I graduated from undergraduate, and started law school when he was 2 years old. I didn't have my family to help me because they lived in other states/out of the country, but I had a pretty good support network in law school. Compared to working now, I had much more time to be around my golden when I was in law school. Plus my schedule was a lot more flex back then. I didn't have classes scheduled for 8 hours straight and I could do my studying at home with his company. Like I said, I was extremely fortunate in that I had a strong support network I developed of friends who loved Doc and could help me care for him in those moments where my schedule was very tight. Not everybody is in the same situation but just know that seemingly tough situations will get better. Even if you're in professional graduate school...


----------



## Hina (May 31, 2013)

I would trust your instincts about other family members offering to help. For now, the best thing to do is to put Ace's needs first. You can always get a dog later when your situation improves and you have more time to give to him/her. Goldens (and other beloved pets) deserve the best.


----------



## ahrc86 (Oct 28, 2013)

We went through the same thing with our puppy. She overwhelmed us and still does sometimes. I really think crate training is helpful. Puppies can get into everything and start chewing on EVERYTHING. At some point, you'd probably have to crate your puppy. 

I found that tethering is a good option (anchoring a leash to something) so you can supervise while doing other things and they don't get into mischief. Also, with our puppy doing a puppy class was excellent because she learned to focus attention. Maybe she wasn't "learning" much but she was learning to listen. Once we took her to school she finally started to get the hang of potty outside. 

Finally, you have to just relax. I used to worry about what my puppy "would" or "could" do and was never in the moment. One day I just let her wander around, she peed a few times and started to stop peeing. Now she sits by the door when she has to go out and is a potty dream.

Definitely recommend a crate as I feel down the road you'll need one when the puppy is teething. The earlier you do it the better it is!


----------



## Soontobedad (Nov 6, 2011)

I've been gone for a year from this forum, had to give our puppy away due to my sister having allergies but our breeder was extremely kind and understanding, and gave us a full refund without us asking for it (animation acres)

However in your situation, the *last* thing you should be asking for is money when someone is taking in your puppy and doing you a favor when all of this was your fault for not doing understanding the ramifications of taking care of a puppy.

It's nice how you've got a whole story set up just to fund this sale.


----------



## Nawit (Oct 11, 2013)

Soontobedad said:


> I've been gone for a year from this forum, had to give our puppy away due to my sister having allergies but our breeder was extremely kind and understanding, and gave us a full refund without us asking for it (animation acres)
> 
> However in your situation, the *last* thing you should be asking for is money when someone is taking in your puppy and doing you a favor when all of this was your fault for not doing understanding the ramifications of taking care of a puppy.
> 
> It's nice how you've got a whole story set up just to fund this sale.


Your words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. Thank you for sharing that piece of advice. It has made both my situation easier and made this thread filled with much more knowledge. :uhoh::bowl:


----------

