# The last day I saw you...



## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

My Savanah,


It's been 4 years since I last saw you, touched you, told you I loved you...if I had known then that I would never see you again, I would have stayed. But I didn't know. It was so late and Caitlyn was falling asleep in the waiting room. I'm so sorry. I thought I would pick you up the next day after your surgery and everything would be okay. But it wasn't. You were never going to come home again.

I was so happy when your vet called me at work the next day. I thought it was to tell me when I could pick you up. But it wasn't. You were still in surgery. She said you had cancer all through your liver. Da*n it! She wasn't supposed to say that! She was supposed to say, "Savanah did great. The surgery went wonderfully. Come and get her!" 

Instead I heard, "Do you want us to wake her up so you can say goodbye?" What? Goodbye? Really? I heard myself saying to let you go, I didn't want you to wake up in pain. I hope I did the right thing, Savanah. I wish I could ask you that. Would you have wanted to say goodbye to me, sweetie? I really hope you understand my decision to let you go. I just wish I knew the answer. 

I hung up, ran into the bathroom, locked the door and collapsed. My co-workers were yelling at me to open the door. They all loved you too, Savanah. You touched everyone at my shop. I opened the door and we cried together. You were so special, still are... 

I couldn't work, so I went home. Chance greeted me but looked behind me expecting to see you. He looked confused. That was March 6, 2008, the day a huge part of my heart left me. I'll never ever get it back. I miss you, Savanah, more than I could possibly put into words. So I won't try. Just know that I think about you each and every day and I always will.

I love you Naners,
Mom

My beautiful girl:


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I usually cry at late hours, after midnight, when yesterday just ended up and tomorrow starts without my Buddy but your story about your beautiful girl brought tears early in my eyes today. I am sorry it happened, I wish it never happened and your girl is still with you not just in spirit. I hope one day we will be with our babies again and stay together forever.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

I was so sad to read about your girl aswell, it must have been just awful for you. It's only been 2 months since Daisy left us but the pain and sadness is still the same as when she first went. Savanah was so beautiful and you were blessed to have such a special girl in your life. She'll always be with you.


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## Jingers mom (Feb 10, 2012)

Your letter to Savannah is beautiful... it brought tears to my eyes because I know that kind of hurt. I believe that your Savannah knows what you did was done out of your love for her. She know you didn't want her to be in pain.

I also believe that someday we will all be re-united with our fur babies and they will be healthy, playfull and waiting patiently for us to join them on the other side of the bridge. They will rejoice when they see us and be happy that again we are with them.

My thoughts are with you...


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

so sad, what a heartbreak. Can't type through the tears.


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## FeatherRiverSam (Aug 7, 2009)

I sure wouldn't question your decision to let her go while she was still under the annasedtic ...it was very unselfish of you to set her free of her pain and suffering. The apparent love you two shared is something very special, embrace it and never let it go...she'll always be with you. 

Pete


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

How very, very, very sad.

I absolutely think you did what was best for Savanah by letting her go without waking her up. That surely broke your heart and still does, but you did what was best for her and not you. That is a very hard thing to do, but it shows how true your love is.:smooch:


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## oakleysmommy (Feb 20, 2011)

so so sad. i am sorry


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Typing through tears for Savannah. And for you. I'm so sorry. I HATE cancer.


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## sameli102 (Aug 23, 2009)

That was so heartbreaking, I'm so sorry you had to part so unexpectedly and under such conditions. You did the right thing though, it would have been cruel to wake her just to let her go again. It is sad that you have to remember it that way though. I lost my heart dog the one day I had obligated myself to work a full day, my husband thought he was ok, but when I got home I knew right away his lung cancer was keeping him from getting a good breath. I was so angry with myself for not being there for him on his last day, what went through his helpless little mind when I finally came through the door only to whisk him off to say goodbye. Did he wonder where I was when he needed me? It's hard to think about how things might have been different but we have to just remember how much we loved them and we did the best we knew how.


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

It just seems to get more difficult as the years go by. I'm usually okay during the rest of the year, although there are days that the crying won't stop, but on the day before and the day of her passing, I'm forever reliving what I could have done differently. I keep seeing her face when we left her at the hospital...did she think I was abandoning her? It just _kills me_ to think that. :no:

She joined our family when she was 9 years old when her previous owner's new husband didn't want her anymore. It took her a month to accept us as her new home. But from then on, she was the most devoted being I've ever shared my life with. I remember having her and Chance at the dog park one day. Savanah wandered off, but kept my daughter and I in her sight. 

Something caught her attention and when she looked back up, she didn't see us at first. I could see her getting anxious so I called her and she came running back to us as fast as she could. What if she felt that way when I left her that night? What was she feeling? This plays over and over in my head. The last people she saw were strangers..._strangers_. It should have been me she saw, da*n it! That just tears me up inside...

I want that time to do over so badly, but I know I can't. I just miss her so much...:bawling:


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Something caught her attention and when she looked back up, she didn't see us at first. I could see her getting anxious so I called her and she came running back to us as fast as she could. What if she felt that way when I left her that night? What was she feeling? This plays over and over in my head. The last people she saw were strangers..._strangers_. It should have been me she saw, da*n it! That just tears me up inside...

I'm so very sorry that you're going through this hell. Savannah absolutely know that what you did, was so that she would not suffer a moment more of pain than she had to. She knew and knows your heart, probably better than you do. I'm so sorry that the selfless act for her sake is tearing you apart. That beautiful dear girl would absolutely hate that you feel this torment.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Kwhit*

Kwhit

Savannah knew you loved her I am sure. Savannah would be very sad to think you are blaming yourself.
We lost our Snobear the same way. We would not let them wake him up-I didn't want him to be in pain.


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## Deber (Aug 23, 2011)

Hard to type through the tears. I wish I could relieve your pain. I honestly feel there is a doggie heaven and know in her earthly body she may/may not have understood our decisions, but love transends all. I want to believe when she awoke at the Rainbow Bridge, she KNEW your heart and the reasons. The Bible says when we die the veil opens to understanding...and this is also true for our beloved pets. Savannah awoke to no pain, to joy and full understanding of what and why things were done. She forgives and I know wishes we could see the wonderful place she is now among friends. She would not want you to grieve for her Earthly remains, but find joy in the spirit of the Bridge where she will wait for you all healthy and full of life.

Just makes me cry my heart out, sending you lots of cyber hugs! Hug Chance for me, love that big boy.


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## Rainheart (Nov 28, 2010)

Hugs for you on this hard anniversary. The years go by, but they always have a place in our heart. It's been 6 years since my Ginger girl passed.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

HUGS as you remember your sweet girl today. I was in your shoes on 7/14/2004 when the surgeon called us with the recommendation we not wake our precious boy up because his cancer was everywhere--such shock and disbelief, even knowing that call was a possibility when we dropped him off for the surgery. You never really get over it and the memories of the awful news and devastation haunt me still.


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## toliva (Nov 24, 2011)

Such a heartbreaking story. I'm so sorry. I also think you did the right thing.


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

I think Savanah would want you to think of all the good times you had together. If I were you I would not have woken her up to say goodbye. She knows how much you loved her. We all think about the what ifs, its only natural.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So sorry that you have such sad memories of your last day with your special girl, but I am sure that Savannah knew how much you loved her. It would have been so much harder for her if you had allowed her to be woken up, she would probably have been in pain and confused from the aneasthetic, you gave your girl the final act of love that we can give, by letting her go peacefully and painlessly to the bridge. 

Please, try and concentrate on your happy times together, I think your girl would not want you to beat yourself up over something that you had no control over - she knows you loved her and that is what matters

WEEP NOT FOR ME THOUGH I AM GONE
INTO THAT GENTLE NIGHT
GRIEVE IF YOU WILL BUT NOT FOR LONG
UPON MY SOUL’S SWEET FLIGHT

I AM AT PEACE, MY SOULS AT REST
THERE IS NO NEED FOR TEARS
FOR WITH YOUR LOVE I WAS SO BLESSED
FOR ALL THOSE MANY YEARS


THERE IS NO PAIN, I SUFFER NOT
THE FEAR NOW IS ALL GONE
PUT NOW THESE THINGS OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS
IN YOUR MEMORY I LIVE ON

REMEMBER NOT MY FIGHT FOR BREATH
REMEMBER NOT THE STRIFE
PLEASE DO NOT DWELL UNPON MY DEATH
BUT CELEBRATE MY LIFE 
(constance jenkins)


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## Buddysmyheart (Dec 28, 2011)

One of the most brutal things that happen after we have to make these gut-wrenching decisions, is the second-guessing we do. The decision to let a beloved pet go, is a profoundly moral and loving act. Concentrate on the love, sharing, and life experiences you had together. You were Savannah's loving advocate to the end. That, not guilt, not regret; is the legacy of your pet. Wishing you peace and only fond memories......


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