# Our first foster dog will be returning to us...



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

If you remember a bit ago we welcomed our first official foster dog into our homes. A shy little girl... very unsocialized... needing a very understanding home. A little less than a month ago she was adopted to an older couple who convinced us they were that understanding home she needed.

We all had our doubts that this was going to work for various reasons, but they convinced us it would... I got update e-mails from them saying how much they loved her, how she was making progress, etc. This past weekend they let MD off leash for the first time and low and behold she went out of the yard. They don't have a fence, but have a nice yard... and then a good deal of woods they own behind their house. Anyway, I got an e-mail yesterday about how they were going to keep her on a long line, etc... give her more time to get used to them, etc.... 

Then today I get an e-mail about how she ran off last night when they let her out loose and they had to chase her... and they can't live like this! 

So, I'm incredibly bummed as I feel they really didn't give her a chance... and if you claim to LOVE something so much then you should be willing to look into options to keep her. I guess I feel this is a relatively small issue to deal with when you think about all the "issues" rescue dogs can and do have!! I mean... it's as simple as keeping her on a leash for now, putting up a fence, working with her on commands or investing in some type of collar containment system. 

I should have gone with my gut on this one. I was just so happy that someone wanted her so badly.. and these people REALLY convinced us they were perfect and were willing to put the time and effort into her. 

Anyway... she'll be returning this weekend. I will be happy to have her back... and Camden will be super excited as well. She was his little shadow and followed him everywhere! I'm really, really trying to look at the postive side of this... as these people obviously aren't invested, and obviously not completely in love with her, so she is better off being returned and finding a home that will be!! She deserves that!! And that they deserve the dog they want. 

I hear dog statues stay in the yard pretty good!


----------



## Carsonsdaddy (Nov 1, 2006)

Seriously.....***!?! 

At least they're bringing her back to you and not dropping her at the pound.


----------



## Maggies mom (Jan 6, 2006)

Im sorry she is coming back ..but in the long run she will get a better home and one that understands her and loves her and is willing to work with her.....I have only had one returned in almost 3 years and the second home was way better... Good luck finding her a new home....


----------



## Nicci831 (Aug 9, 2007)

Sorry to hear it didnt work out, but she is coming home to you =)


----------



## Merlins mom (Jun 20, 2007)

Darn, I know that must be really disappointing for you, but I'm sure you'll find the perfect home next time!! Stay postive!


----------



## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

Sorry it didn't work out.

I am thankful to people like you who are committed to helping her find the perfect home and I'm sure the right one will come along.


----------



## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

I can understand why you are bummed. These people didn't give her an honest effort at all. I'm glad she is going back to you and hopefully find a new forever home soon.


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

I just told Camden his girlfriends coming back. 

He barked a few times... I think it was code for "Ha... Parker owes me $10 bucks because I was right!"


----------



## LOVEisGOLDEN (Jan 4, 2008)

hgatesy said:


> I just told Camden his girlfriends coming back.
> 
> He barked a few times... I think it was code for "Ha... Parker owes me $10 bucks because I was right!"


too funny! sorry it didn't work out, her home is out there somewhere...


----------



## gold'nchocolate (May 31, 2005)

Maybe it's for the best that she is coming back (they might have taken her to the pound instead). My first golden was returned to her breeder at the age of 9 weeks, for jumping on a child, and I brought her home here at 10 wks. I loved her until she passed away at almost 10 yrs. That first family never knew what a jewel they had passed up.


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

Thanks everyone.... I know her forever home is out there somewhere! Just a matter of finding them!


----------



## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Yes, I am glad she's coming back to you, too. Better that than either to a pound, or to other people that you don't know. Good that she was close...


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

She's actually in Baltimore Maryland! I told them they needed to bring her up to me though.


----------



## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

hgatesy said:


> She's actually in Baltimore Maryland! I told them they needed to bring her up to me though.


 
OH! You are lucky to be getting her back!


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

I know... I am very thankful! I've kept in contact with them through e-mails on a weekly basis... and as bad as it is that their giving her up and didnt' give her much of a shot... I dont' see them as the type of people to do just take her to another spca or somewhere and drop her... thank goodness! Gosh... she would be so petrified!!


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Hgatesy*

Hgatesy:

Thank God she is coming back to you. If they would give her up so quickly, they are NOT WORTHY to have her. Hope they can put themselves out to bring her to you-I don't mean that to sound sarcastic. Only concerned for you and her.


----------



## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

Well geez, they could have taught her to come at least. I'm sorry it didn't work out but it is probably all for the best. Something else would have probably set them off down the road. Poor baby, glad she has you! Thanks.


----------



## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so glad that you are getting her back and Camden is getting his girlfriend back. Those people dont need a pet, they need a brain. Thank goodness they are bringing her back and not dumping her at the shelter.


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Sometimes it's hard to judge people and know for sure they will be a good home. But thankfully they were able to catch her and are returning her. You learn so much when you are fostering, experience is a good thing and now you have first hand experience on when to listen to your instincts. The home you pick next will be perfect for her.


----------



## TheHooch (May 9, 2007)

At least they have enough since to bring her back. THat might be all the sense they have but glad they have that much.


----------



## Hudson (May 18, 2005)

Sorry it didn't work out, thankyou for fostering and caring, its great there are people like you out there.


----------



## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

I'm actually kind of glad she's coming back to you. She started opening up with you, and now it give you and her a better chance at working thru her problems in a home where she feels loved and secure. 

Had to laugh about the statue comment, they truly deserve that! LOL


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

Okay... this story just keeps getting better and better..... I had an e-mail waiting for me this morning at work. They are insisting that they are keeping her now. Things are all better.... the dog is cured... yada, yada, yada.... 
I write to the women and tell her I'm very concerned as I think this is going to be an ongoing problem... the dogs not going to respect the invisible boundary set around the yard... I'm concerned the more comfortable she gets, the further she will go... we need to think about what's in the best interest of the dog... blah, blah, blah.... and I get a response back that it's too late.. she's staying there now, they are keeping her.... I'm just skeptical of them... the lady cried all day yesterday thinking she was going to lose her... 
Ohhhhhhh.... my husband thinks they just don't want to drive the 3 hours up here. I don't know what to think... one minute she's telling me one thing, the next minute I'm getting something else, a minute after that... something entirely different.... 

Please tell me this is a really unusual incident and not something that people have to deal with often!


----------



## Carraig (Jan 4, 2008)

Unfortunately, we see the same thing in cat buyers. Yes, he could be right - they don't want to make the drive. I don't see how anything could have solved the problem literally overnight. Are there any shelters near these people? It might be a good idea to leave your name with them for any Golden surrenders.


----------



## AndyFarmer (Jul 9, 2007)

hgatesy said:


> Please tell me this is a really unusual incident and not something that people have to deal with often!


Well I wouldn't say often, but yes, sometimes. We see it too in our rescue. Its heartbreaking to see a dog get adopted and then the people don't listen to the sound advice of those who already know the dogs' ways...then it comes back. We are all in this for the dogs best interest. If they keep her, I truly hope they change their habits with her or train her. She needs the bond.


----------



## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

I don't blame you for having a very uneasy feeling, I would too. Would they agree to a "visit" to make sure all is well? Is it in the contract that you can check on the dog physically?
Betty's right, problems don't get solved over night 

(((hugs)))


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

Well, I threw that out there... I'm actually going down there in two weeks for a rally with Parker, so I asked if I could come visit. They haven't responded since I wrote back. I'm really hoping they say that's okay. I figured if between now and then there are issues and they want the out, I'll be there and can just bring her back with me.


----------



## AtticusJordie (Aug 15, 2006)

What a bummer. 

When you visit, it'd probably be a good idea to reinforce that you will take her back and they should NOT take her to a pound. Who knows, maybe in two weeks they'll tire of her and since they then don't have to make that three hour trip--you'll get to bring her home.

Our thoughts are with you, your pup--and the pinheads in Baltimore... 

SJ


----------



## ILoveAMonster (Nov 11, 2007)

hgatesy said:


> She's actually in Baltimore Maryland! I told them they needed to bring her up to me though.


Just give me an address! I'll go and doggienap her for you and watch her for a few days then send her home to you. hehehe


----------



## ILoveAMonster (Nov 11, 2007)

Carraig said:


> Unfortunately, we see the same thing in cat buyers. Yes, he could be right - they don't want to make the drive. I don't see how anything could have solved the problem literally overnight. Are there any shelters near these people? It might be a good idea to leave your name with them for any Golden surrenders.


That is a good idea..and on another note...you should speak with the people, and tell them that if the drive is a problem, we could arrange a transport. I'm perfectly willing to drive the three hours to you if needed it.
(I live in Baltimore)


----------



## Sunny Delight (Mar 10, 2007)

Gosh, just read my way through all this. I was about to comment on how glad I was you were getting her back and how I'm familiar with people like this, then BAM - They're keeping her!! Perhaps they decided they just HAVE to keep her on a leash right now. Were they told how new rescues might bolt and they should keep her leashed til they are very, very confident of her recall (like practicing with a long line or in a large, empty fenced in dog park?) 

Many here had mentioned that it was good she was not taken to the pound, but I assume your rescue had them sign a contract stating that if anything didn't work out, she would have to go back to the rescue? 

On our application, potential adopters say what they would do if there end up being behavioral issues with the dog, and most say they will try a professional trainer if necessary. I had a foster who ended up in a home where the wife was home most of the time and mentioned she had time to commit to training. I always got e-mails asking questions about certain issues the dog was having, she'd never respond, and then two weeks later send me another e-mail with more questions. One time I was even in the area (CT, and I live in NJ!) and said I could stop by on my way home to help her out a bit and show her some stuff I'd done in terms of training while I was fostering. But were getting ready for dinner so it was too inconvenient for her... Two weeks later she decided to return the dog.

But this dog has now found a new home with other dogs on a horse farm with a family who adopted from us last year!!! So hopefully she is in her forever home, now and all is how it should be!

I hope these people that decided last minute to keep her take better care of her, or get her back to you so she can move on with her life. I very much understand your frustration...


----------



## ID_Hannah (Jun 8, 2006)

Wow, what an interesting flip-flop with these adopters. I hope they really have recommited to making it work, but I have my doubts. 

It is a bummer when a foster comes back, but worse things can happen. My very first foster dog came back from her first adopter, but the home she ended up in was incredible. 

Your first foster girl reminded me of a extended-stay foster I had once, Skeeter. She was literally feral when she first got rescued. I was her second foster home after her first had given up on her. I had her four months before I even tried to find her a home. I'm certain your foster girl was WAY better off than Skeeter, but I can related completely to the feeling of being a nervous-wreck about a shy dog being with people who might not completely understand her needs. And not for lack of trying on your part as a foster parent... sometimes no matter what you say, they aren't really listening, they're just seeing a cute dog. 

I'm crossing my fingers that things work out for this girl! :crossfing


----------



## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

hgatesy said:


> Well, I threw that out there... I'm actually going down there in two weeks for a rally with Parker, so I asked if I could come visit. They haven't responded since I wrote back. I'm really hoping they say that's okay. I figured if between now and then there are issues and they want the out, I'll be there and can just bring her back with me.


Maybe "since you're in the neighborhood" a pop in would be good


----------



## Carraig (Jan 4, 2008)

Yes, I would recommend a "gosh I was in the neighborhood visit." And if the dog is loose outside, and you have any kind of agreement that prohibits this, I would simply put it in the car and leave. Then send them an email to let them know you have taken the dog back.


----------



## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

Well, I did get a reply and was told I can stop in while I'm down there... which I'm thankful for. I'm just really hoping for the best at this point.... now what the "best" is... I just don't know!??


----------



## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

hgatesy said:


> Well, I did get a reply and was told I can stop in while I'm down there... which I'm thankful for. I'm just really hoping for the best at this point.... now what the "best" is... I just don't know!??


Maybe sit and visit for a bit, see how MD responds to all, and go with your gut


----------



## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

i'm not sure whether i want the home visit to go good or bad!!?? these people don't really sound like the best place for her, i dont know...


----------

