# Urgent, please help with rescue - mouthing issues



## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

Gosh, I am sorry to read you are having such difficulty that you may need to rehome your pup. Have you spoken with a private trainer to help you with this specific problem?
My almost 3 y/o Golden boy always needs to have his mouth on something so I have kongs and toys handy to put in his mouth so his mouth isn't on my arm.
I hope someone else has some other suggestions for you.
Wishing you the best...


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## Ranger (Nov 11, 2009)

Hi!

I adopted a nine-month old retriever cross and he had mouthiness issues, too. To the point where we'd be playing and he'd jump up and 'mouth' my arm...and leave a bruise.

Please remember that if you've adopted a dog who you know had suffered abuse/neglect that they haven't had the benefit of training most puppies receive. People always talk about the 'landshark' phase of golden retriever puppies...well, you have a dog who's never had the training to get past that. And now he's full sized with full sized teeth.

The mouthing is a different issue than the aggression with the bones. Mouthing can easily be corrected with clear, calm, consistent signals. Everyone in your family needs to do the same thing whenever he mouths. Find out 'triggers' for your dog's mouthiness. With mine, it was always when he was playing. We'd be playing, he'd jump up and mouth at my arm or hands. All in play! For the next month, every time we played and he got nippy, I'd turn around and leave. Leave the room. Leave the yard. Leave the dog alone for a few minutes then return. You need to be quick about it, though. So the dog's mental thought goes, "Playplayplay! Yay! NipcauseI'msohappy! Oops, where'd my friend go?" Eventually, dog will figure out that nipping ENDS play which is not what the dog wants. Some people recommend yelping, which can get dogs or puppies MORE excited - most people sound like squeaky toys - or squeezing the muzzle which isn't effective either. Yelling can also get dogs worked up and make things worse. Ignore the nipping and leave. Realize that it's because he doesn't know better, not that he's aggressive.

As for the aggression, well, growling isn't aggression. It's a warning sign. He was communicating! Aggression would be if he hadn't growled and attacked the other dog with no warning whatsoever. THAT is aggression. As it is, there are many happy, well-adjusted dogs that can't chew bones together. Sometimes it takes years to achieve that. Bones are serious high value items. Personally, I wouldn't be worried about the growl. My dog growled at his best friend today when the other dog was trying to get the antler my dog was chewing (there were 3 other antlers in the same area but the dogs always want the one the other one has). Ranger was just communicating to Blue, "back off". Blue backed off and found another bone. No hard feelings. It wasn't aggression. 

I hope some of this helps. Remember that your dog has spent most of his life in being abused and neglected. He's only been in his new life for 3 weeks! He has NO idea what expectations he has to follow, how to behave, or how to act. That's something most puppies learn before they're 6 months....this poor guy never had the chance. PLEASE don't give up on him so soon. What about taking an obedience class together? In my area, you can take classes for learning how to read dog's body language and how to work on a bond. All positive reinforcement. I'd highly recommend something like that. YOU can learn how to train him and teach him what YOUR expectations are of him.


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

What a tough position to be in. I've seen goldens in rescue with a range of mouthiness, one in particular that even I was uncomfortable being around him alone. While others will give you additional tips to work through it, I think it's also important to have a good long talk with the rescue. With each of the rescues I've volunteered with, it's all about finding the right fit with the golden & family--this boy just may not be the right one due to your young child. It doesn't make you bad or the pup bad, it may just not be the right match.


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## Gentleoceanwind (Feb 13, 2012)

Thank you all so very much for taking the time to read and give such helpful and insightful replies! Clifford lived with and worked with amazing trainers for the first couple of weeks, he has come a LONG way from when we first got him (when he was leaping through the house like a wild deer, springing from bed to bed, eating food off counters, peeing and pooping everywhere, biting everyone and everything). He has always been an incredibly sweet boy but clearly (as noted by previous posters above) had zero idea of our expectations and who knows what kind of madness in his former life/lives. We visited him and participated regularly in private family lessons and also some one-on-one lessons, have been in contact with the trainers, and work very closely with Clifford. He stays within our view if he is not in his "place" (master bathroom with his bed, blankie, toys/bones, water, nightlight). 

We know the work required and are willing to do it. We expected it when we adopted him but what we did not expect was potential danger to our daughter and to our pug. I now realize this was a foolish expectation on my part. I have worked with Goldens for so many years (I'm a retired veterinary hospital administrator and veterinary nutritionist, founded and ran animal rescue in my pre-mommy days) and Clifford is our second rescued adopted Golden (our first was 5 years old and already mellowed, a beloved family member for many many years until he passed away). I have always been Golden-biased, lol.  

The thing that changes it all is the danger to my daughter and the fact that no amount of classes or training seems to be effective enough to help her not feel terrified of a dog 2.5x her size who is approaching her with an open-mouthed toothy reach even if we are right there to stop it as soon as we can, it was not fast enough last time and his teeth grazed her face and broke the skin on her cheek.  

We don't want to give up on him and completely agree that it is too soon to expect anything more from him than just trying to figure out where he is and if he is even safe. What my heart is telling me that I don't really want to hear is that my little girl is in danger despite everything. Fortunately the rescue group (and this is another reason why I love working with rescue groups) is going to help us rehome him. I really don't think he is the right match for our family at this time or for any family with very small children. The rescue group has another, older and more mellow Golden they just pulled from the shelter and we are going to meet her and see if she might possibly be a better fit. We want to bring a precious Golden into our family, we have been longing for one since we lost our beloved first Golden. We don't want to hurt or confuse Clifford but it is becoming more obvious (there was just another incident this evening) that he needs a different environment than what we can realistically provide for him right now.  

Thank you so much for allowing me to process and share this here and again for the very much appreciated words of wisdom and encouragement.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

The training you sent him to is great, but what you need now is a good trainer to come into your home and work with you in the home environment.

For now keep lots of toys around to actually put in his mouth to redirect him to anytime he looks like he is thinking about mouthing.

If you do return him to the rescue please don't feel guilty, it may just be not the right fit for your family or him. It does sound like he needs a family without small children or smaller dogs.


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

I am sorry it doesn't seem to be working out.
Sadly, there is a reason why many rescues will not adopt to families with young children.


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## Aislinn (Nov 13, 2010)

It sounds like you have done so much to help Clifford to be well adjusted and to fit into your house, much more than many do. However you also have to think of your daughter. You don't want her to develop a fear of big dogs. You need to do what is right for both of them. It may be that Clifford needs to be in a home with older children. If so, then you have already helped him tremendously with adjusting to a good family home. Don't feel guilty if the fit is not right. Not every dog is the right fit for every home. Do keep us updated.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Clearly he is putting his mouth/teeth where it does not belong....but does he use his mouth softly? i.e. is your daughter bloody or bruised....does your pug cry out or does he turn and engage the golden in play? 

Lexi was a horrible excited nipping when she first came here...we did a lot of abruptly leaving and we also did a lot of licking work...used a tiny bit of peanut butter smeared on our hands as rewards for other behaviors. We also did a TON of self control exercises learning strong sits and downs with duration...and teaching fast sits and downs...so we could turn the dog on and off...

Having said that...if I had to look at my sweet 5 year old with bruises on her face...Im not sure I would have had the patience to work through it...


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

When you get an adult dog that has had a year or two to set bad habits training could take a considerable length of time. 
You have a five year old daughter who is fearful of the dog. I don't think this is fair to your daughter to expect her to live in fear for the amount of time it takes to get Clifford to be the best he can be in your home.

No matter how much I feel a dog is a committment for life, there are times when a certain dog just does not fit well with a particular family.

At this point you have to think of the safety of both your daughter and Clifford.


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## Gentleoceanwind (Feb 13, 2012)

Thank you so much, everyone. Today has been so hard. My husband and I just got in an arguement which is VERY rare for us, we are torn up about Clifford and feeling very guilty and like we are abandoning him, giving up on him. In all reality, we are.  As two human beings who have been abandoned and given up on in our lives, this is a very painful and stressful situation and even though we realize we are invested on a deeper emotional level, it is what it is. My husband just got back from a long walk with sweet Clifford, then held and pet him and to see the two of them loving on each other was heartbreaking and beautiful. He has truly bonded with dh and my dh had tears in his eyes, the feelings are mutual. 

We set the ball in motion last night with the rescue group. The one thing that has _not_ been stressful has been working with them, absolutely wonderful on every level, thank God. They have a foster ready for him and dh is supposed to drive him tomorrow. Doing this on Valentine's Day seems especially cruel and sad to us.   

Today we had a trainer come to the house to work with both dogs, he has actually been here 4 days in a row (except Sunday). He's helped us to see that Clifford is not at all aggressive but is communicating, encouraged us to crate Clifford to help him with his anxiety, and given us some great tips like giving him a Kong filled with peanut butter treats to keep him busy and happy when we are not interacting with him (away from the house). He agrees that with time, Clifford could be a wonderful member of the family, but also recognizes the mouthing issue with our daughter and smaller dog (pug). 

Clifford's mouthing is not aggressive, he really is just a big gentle sweetie. But because he is a large boy with big teeth, even his gentle mouthing becomes dangerous. My 5 yo has scratches on her cheek near her eye and a bruise near her ear.  The pug yelps when Clifford nibbles on his legs, and tries to get away. I have bruises and nicks all over my arms and hands from Clifford. 

We very reluctantly and with heavy hearts, wrote up the ad for the rescue group's Petfinder page. I just got home tonight and he is already posted, which of course is good for him because we want him to find a loving family and we were able to give very specific info in his ad to let people know his needs including no small children or small dogs. But oh the heartache because we have fallen in love with this sweet boy and know he is just a good boy at the core, yk?  

I have his bag packed with his favorite squeaky carrot toy and organic pb treats and a giant filled busy bone, and I'm going to type up a letter giving as much info as I can that might help his new family. He is thisclose to being bell-trained - I taught him how to ring bells hanging on our back door when he needs to go potty. I miss him already and can't imagine how much my husband is hurting right now. Tomorrow is not going to be easy. The consolation is that we know he is going to be protected by amazing rescue angels and carefully placed with a family who can be a better fit for him and where he can be his true wild and crazy self, lol. He would be so happy on a small farm or somewhere he can spend more time outdoors, and ours is a mellow house more suited to an older dog. The other consolation is that the rescue group is going to watch for a better match for us who otherwise might be harder to place but would fit right in at our home, so we will still have the blessing of rescuing and obviously a Golden to give a (please Lord) fur-ever home to.

Thank you so much for listening and giving me a safe space to share with other people who truly care and understand. I will keep you updated...:--heart:


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I am sorry you are having to rehome Clifford. Sounds like you helped him to start learning how to behave properly. Unfortunately mouthing takes quite some time to change. I agree that for your daughter and pug's sake you are doing the right thing. That being said, tomorrow will be very hard. I wish you luck. You gave Clifford a start at a new and better way of living than he had before. For that he will always love you...as you will him!!!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Could you post where and what rescue is placing him? Someone may see your thread and be interested.


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## Gentleoceanwind (Feb 13, 2012)

Sure, he is with Friends of Retrievers/FOR rescue in Huntsville, Alabama. You can find him on Petfinder as "Buddy".  Cannot say enough good things about FOR, they are amazing angels! :--heart: He is on his way to his new foster home right now and we are very sad here today. I'm cleaning the house to try and take my mind off things and make things nice for my husband when he gets home from bringing him to the foster mama. Thank you again for all the love.


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## Wyatt's mommy (Feb 25, 2011)

From one mother to another you are absolutely doing the right thing. I know it's hard but best to be safe than sorry. Maybe the best choice would be a new puppy for your home? Good luck!


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## Thegoldenclaa (Dec 16, 2011)

I'm sorry you are going through this. :sadwavey:We went through it a few months ago though not with a golden. We adopted a JRT this summer. She was so good, calm sweet and we loved her to pieces but she increasingly became protective over the family. As time went on she start to show signs of dominance and aggression as well. We went through training with her she was even top of her class but none of it helped at home. Whenever someone would come over and visit she would basically corner them and not let them in our home. I do daycare out of my home and I have two young kids so this was unacceptable for our house hold. The trainer flat out said she would not keep her with our situation. Brining her back and telling the kids is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't know if I have ever cried so hard in my life. There is such a hole in our hearts now. My daughter still cries and says she misses her often and I feel on the verge of tears at just the mention of her but it was the right thing to do for our family. We simply could wait and see with little kids. So now instead of dwelling on it I am distracting myself. We researched and decided on a breed that is not protective, dominent, or aggressive.  We found a breeder and are waiting on a puppy. We are really talking it up with the kids to keep everyone distracted. We decided on a puppy this time so we can raise it just the way we want and plan on doing years of classes with the dog. As you can see we are planning to do everything in our power so we don't have to do this again.:crossfing


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