# New grief for Bridge dog after deciding to get a new puppy



## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Simply put, yes. We adopted Tayla a little over a month after Cheyenne passed. Tayla was nothing like we expected and I spent the first couple months crying ever day. Things have gotten much better but there is hardly a day that goes by that I don't shed a few tears for Cheyenne. Christmas this year will be really hard. Tayla has gotten so much better, but she will never be a replacement for Cheyenne. She is so different in so many ways, yet...there are moments when I see something she does at it reminds me of Cheyenne. I think it's Cheyenne looking down on us.


----------



## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

Yep, me too!
Read this...http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/rainbow-bridge-grief-support-section/96708-i-dont-want-do.html
But now that I have Jordan, I am happier than I thought I could ever be again. It will be fine, you are still grieving, the new puppy will help. Take care


----------



## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I think each new love brings back memories and sadness for the ones we've lost.

All of my dogs have been rescues and I think there is a paw or paws involved every time. I turned Copper down the first time the shelter called me to take "a senior who was male dog aggressive" and they had to call back and tell me I was his last hope to make me take him. I sure learned to love that old boy dearly and miss him every day.

It takes a while to accept that we even needed to get a new one because that means we lost one, but it sure helps heal my heart with time.


----------



## Vinnie's Mom (Jun 9, 2012)

When we got Vinnie, it made me miss Lucy more. It's hard to transition for a well behaved sweet dog to a puppy but Vinnie quickly captured my heart and defiantly helps fill the void. He will never take her place but I love him just as much.


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

My story is 19 months long now. It is all said in "I miss my Buddy" thread, my ups and downs. If it is meant to be then it will happen. Wish you all the best.


----------



## C's Mom (Dec 7, 2009)

I cried my eyes out for my two doggies that passed the night before I picked up my rescue golden and they were gone for 8 years! I had to use my bigger dog's collar and leash and felt like I was being so disloyal to him (got a replacement for my current boy right away). I still cry over them and probably always will but I've made room for this new guy too. 

I think it is very normal to feel sad for the dog you lost when a new one comes in the door. They have big hearts so open yours up for the new doggie coming in.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

It's been almost two years since we said goodbye to our old guy. Within a few weeks after losing him, I adopted a young male from my County Shelter. My girl was missing her big brother and needed to be with another dog as soon as possible. We weren't ready for this boy at all, but I felt I needed to put my girl's needs before our own. He helped her tremendously and us to heal as well. 

We still miss our old guy, a few nights ago I was really missing him. You can never replace one dog with another, each are very unique and special in their own way. You can chose to open your heart and home to one to love. I don't look at it as closing the door or chapter on a part of your life because they're a part of who you are. Your bridge boy will always be with you, he's a part of your heart and soul and those memories stay with you forever.


----------



## twinny41 (Feb 13, 2008)

Yep, when I got Meg, 5 weeks after losing Sandie my faithful, devoted, obedient, intelligent, trusted collie golden mix, I cried all the way home in the car after collecting her 
1) because she wasn't Sandie (in my head I kept apologizing to Sandie for doing it)
2) because Meg was crying too (and my Mum) 
3) because I was taking her from her mother and sibling (on Mothers day too)
4) because I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing!
and finally because I knew I would never have the same relationship with her as I did with Sandie, and I didn't. She was never faithful, devoted, obedient or particularly intelligent but she wormed her way in to my heart and I loved her dearly for her own qualities and different character. I find it odd to look back and remember how I felt about her in the beginning because she was so worth every tear drop! She has been gone for 5 years now too and I miss her every day.


----------



## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

First, please do not think that you are closing the door on a chapter of your life. Yes, you are beginning a new chapter but think about any book, the story would not be whole if even one of the chapters is missing. And, I always feel that by adopting a rescue whether they are a pup or adult, you are carrying on the golden tradition and have given a dog a second or maybe even third chance at life. I think you will surprise yourself and realize just how much room there is in your heart for the dog you lost and the new pup who will occupy another corner of your heart.


----------



## jodiekauf7 (Aug 23, 2012)

Hi,

I know exactly what you are going through. The Guilt or whatever these feelings are thatyou have when you get another Golden after losing one. I lost my Golden on August 6, 2012 this year, he was just 8 years old, but he was what I would call my Soul Mate for a dog. We had such a connection, one that I never thought possible to have again. On August 25th, we picked up our new puppy, as much as I was excited, I felt like I didn't have a real connection with him, be it the guilt I still felt that I was doing something wrong, or even the thought that my Golden who had passed would be looking down at me and thinking....how can you love him? 
I want to tell you, that each of these precious Angels have something unique and special to offer us. My new Golden who is now 5 months, is amazing and special in such a way that HE helped break the wall down that I had created and has allowed me to love him soo sooo much! 
He truely is unique and special.....he is so special that I am going to certify him as a Therapy dog. 

It's kind of funny how guilty we feel, and how we think that we should not love another like the ones we have lost, but in reality, they need us as much as we need them. Enjoy your new Angel, and look for how he can help you through your grief while Loving him. 

I am proud of you for deciding to get another.


----------



## maggsd (Mar 20, 2012)

Canajo, I had to post you as I read this, I know deep in my heart I feel the same. I lost both my Goldens within two days of each other 9 months ago, and as many on this forum will acknowledge, I lost myself also. Unexpectedly Just 2 months ago, i found myself rehoming a 5 month old male pup called Kai. It has been a difficult time as my boys were 14 years when I lost them and therefore I'd forgot how trying a pup can be, and I too, have found myself crying lots more again. I'm not sure how we will cope with these feelings, as I've found myself wishing my new pup was my old boys, how bad do I feel about this is hard for me to admit, I just miss them so very much. So don't feel alone as you see you are far from that. Have a happy Christmas I'm sure our goodies will all be with us in spirit.


----------



## maggsd (Mar 20, 2012)

Canajo, I had to post you as I read this, I know deep in my heart I feel the same. I lost both my Goldens within two days of each other 9 months ago, and as many on this forum will acknowledge, I lost myself also. Unexpectedly Just 2 months ago, i found myself rehoming a 5 month old male pup called Kai. It has been a difficult time as my boys were 14 years when I lost them and therefore I'd forgot how trying a pup can be, and I too, have found myself crying lots more again. I'm not sure how we will cope with these feelings, as I've found myself wishing my new pup was my old boys, how bad do I feel about this is hard for me to admit, I just miss them so very much. So don't feel alone as you see you are far from that. Have a happy Christmas I'm sure our goldies will all be with us in spirit.


----------



## megkate (Feb 7, 2012)

Oh, how I feel your pain! Last year at this time we had just gotten our sweet Tucker's diagnosis of lymphoma and then we lost him in February. I struggled so much with the decision to get a new pup, but we did. I love him to pieces and don't regret it at all! 
Yesterday, however, as I got the Christmas stockings out and ready to hang I had a long bout of sadness and tears remembering my boy "Tuck". Before I knew it a cold wet nose was pushing his way in to get a sniff and give kisses. My dear little Darby! As we all know, we never forget our bridge dogs and they have a special way of popping into our thoughts now and again, but our new furry friends sure do ease the pain.


----------



## canajo (Nov 25, 2012)

*Thanks for all of your support and encouraging words!*

Dear all- I have not been on the boards the last few days as I have been busy with the new puppy. Finally, he is taking nap and I have time to check my posting and read your kind words and support. I picked up my Golden/Spaniel mix puppy up yesterday from the rescue transport truck and I have been feeling better since I got him. At least I am not crying most of the time like I was when wrote my original message. I have cried a few tears thinking of my dog Dawson and how blessed I am that this little guy entered my life. We are just getting to know each other and the time he requires of me has been a needed diversion. My new pup, Toby (aka Tobymac after the Christian rock singer) is so totally the opposite of my heart dog Dawson that I think it is a good thing. I am sure he will worm his way into my heart but in a different way. I still miss Dawson and always will, I think. Thanks again for all of your support and it was nice to see that I was not alone in feeling this grief. God Bless everyone.

Nancye

P.S.-I will be posting some pics of Toby and his story under the puppy thread when I can catch my breath. He has quite the story to him and there is a video of his actual rescue that is totally amazing.


----------



## SMBC (Jul 31, 2012)

I can definitely relate, but am so glad to read your recent post. We had to put our dog down in July, and I started contacting breeders in August. I cried throughout all of July and August, and then got to a place where I found it too painful to even talk about him. I have always second guessed by decision to get another dog...I can't say Monte would be thrilled, he had what I called "only child syndrome" and was a very jealous dog. The loss of him has been too painful, so I've been avoiding. I've never looked at his ashes, and I still have pictures and videos of him on my phone that I cannot bare to look at. It's not the healthiest way to cope, but I'm afraid if I let myself feel for too long I will get stuck in a place I cannot be in right now. The holidays are particularly difficult...my husband and I feel very alone, especially because since our wedding we have become estranged from my husbands family, and we had to put our dog down 2 weeks later...it was a lot of loss all at once. 

I worry how I will feel when I pick up our dog. Will we ever love him as much as we loved Monte? Will I regret it, since of course, he will not be Monte? Will I be able to accept him for him, and for the things that make him different than Monte? It's nice to hear that you are feeling better now that your dog is there, it gives me hope.

I have been able to be very excited, and I stare at my email endlessly waiting for pictures. I want him home already, but I'm nervous. I really want to feel that love again, and have a dog to hang out with. I am needing to take care of something, and have it take care of me too. Without this anticipation and excitement of getting a new dog, I think this holiday season would have been unbearable. Even though it's been a year of ups and downs, I am particularly grateful that we have something to look forward to in the new year, when we get to bring home the new member of our family.


----------



## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

I look forward to seeing photos of him and his story. All dogs are different yet each one is special in their own way. I'm happy you have opened your heart and home to him.


----------



## canajo (Nov 25, 2012)

*Update on my new puppy and the lessening of my tears!*

HI all,

I have time for an update now after having my new puppy, Toby, for the last 10 days. I really did not think I could open my heart so quickly to a new dog but I have! I do not cry as much now when I look at this cute little guy whose antics invariably make me smile again. He is a really sweet dog and I have posted about him under the puppy page. The link is below.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...oby-his-amazing-rescue-story.html#post1873952 

Each one of us is different but I personally can say my worries about not being able to bond to this puppy were unfounded. As I mentioned before, I felt my Bridge dog, Dawson, leading me through the whole adoption process. I am so glad that I went ahead and brought this amazing puppy home with me. I still think of Dawson often and he will always be a part of my life. Thanks again for your support and kind words during these past few months!

Nancye

A tribute to Dawson

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/golden-retriever-rainbow-bridge/123627-my-boy-dawson.html


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Canajo*

Canajo

I am so very happy for you and your new baby and I know that Dawson is happy for you, too!


----------



## CarlosW9FE (Jul 17, 2012)

canajo said:


> HI all,
> 
> Each one of us is different but I personally can say my worries about not being able to bond to this puppy were unfounded. As I mentioned before, I felt my Bridge dog, Dawson, leading me through the whole adoption process. I am so glad that I went ahead and brought this amazing puppy home with me. I still think of Dawson often and he will always be a part of my life. Thanks again for your support and kind words during these past few months!
> 
> ...



Canajo;
I'm just catching this thread. I think when our Bridge dogs see us grieve for them so long, they want us to be happy again and help lead us into circumstances that opens our hearts once again. It sounds like your Dawson wanted you to be happy again and brought this puppy to you. Enjoy every moment with your new companion and cherish all the good memories you had with your Dawson.


----------

