# Please help me find the right words.



## TheHooch (May 9, 2007)

I wish I had the words to give you. All I can offer is my heartfelt thoughts and prayers.


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## linncurrie (Jan 25, 2008)

Oh I am so sorry to hear of their loss :-((

Please go have a look at the beautiful poems on my Rainbow webpage - maybe you will find something there ...

http://www.ragdoll.co.za/rainbow_bridge.htm


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry they lost their sweet baby. You might tell them that Tucker would not want them to mourn him the rest of their life, that he would want them to get another dog to pass all the love he had to another dog. Tucker will always be with them in their heart and memories and will be there to help teach the new dog,just now walking on silent paws. It is really hard to tell someone things but if done at the right time might help. 
Run free Sweet Tucker without pain knowing one day you will be with your family and play with all of our pups at the bridge.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your relatives' loss of their dear Tucker. Perhaps the poem below will be of some comfort to them.

THE SPIRIT OF A DOG

I was standing on a hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
And the spirit of a Dog
Was lying at my feet.

He looked at me with kind dark eyes,
Ancient wisdom shining through.
In the essence of his being,
I saw the love there too.

His mind did lock upon my heart
As I stood there on that day,
And he told me of this story
About a place so far away.

As I stood upon that hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
In a twinkling of a second
His spirit left my feet.

His tale did put my heart at ease,
All my fears did fade away
About what lay ahead of me
On another distant day.

"I live among God's creatures now
In the heavens of your mind,
So do not grieve for me, my friend
As I am with my kind.

My collar is a rainbow's hue,
My leash is a shooting star.
My boundaries are the Milky Way
Where I sparkle from afar.

There are no pens or kennels here
For I am not confined,
But I'm free to roam God's heavens
Among the Dog kind.

I nap the day on a snowy cloud
Gentle breezes rocking me,
And dream the dreams of earthlings,
And how it used to be.

The trees are full of liver treats,
And tennis balls abound,
And milkbones line the walkways
Just waiting to be found.

There even is a ring set up,
The grass all lush and green;
And everyone who gaits around
Becomes the Best of Breed.

For we're all winners in this place;
We have no faults, you see.
And God passes out those ribbons
To each one, even me.

I drink from waters laced with gold,
My world a beauty to behold;
And wise old dogs do form my pride
To amble at my very side.

At night I sleep in angel's arms,
Her wings protecting me,
And moonbeams dance about us
As stardust falls on thee.

So when your life on earth is spent
And you stand at Heaven's gate,
Have no fear of loneliness--
For here, you know, I wait."

---author unknown


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Sometimes when the pain is so fresh and raw, the very best thing to say is a simple, "I'm so sorry". In a while, perhaps you either tell them or send a card with the feelings that tragic accidents do happen, and handling them the best you can, with love and compassion, shouldn't stop you from loving another. Sometimes another can help the healing process... it's just different for every individual. Let their hearts be their guide.... just being there as a loving support will be the very best you can do.


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

Penny & Maggie's Mom said:


> Sometimes when the pain is so fresh and raw, the very best thing to say is a simple, "I'm so sorry". In a while, perhaps you either tell them or send a card with the feelings that tragic accidents do happen, and handling them the best you can, with love and compassion, shouldn't stop you from loving another. Sometimes another can help the healing process... it's just different for every individual. Let their hearts be their guide.... just being there as a loving support will be the very best you can do.


Well, so far "I'm sorry" is all I've been able to say to them. I just didn't think it was enough but, maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't send a card right away? I just feel like I was so close to Cody too. If anyone should send them a card and talk to them I'm the closest person they have. Then again not saying anything else may come off as not caring. I think I'm still going to send a card and then talk to them in a few days. I think for now all they want to do is cry.


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## Thor0918 (Feb 28, 2008)

there really aren't any words. Just love!


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

heartofgold said:


> Well, so far "I'm sorry" is all I've been able to say to them. I just didn't think it was enough but, maybe you're right. Maybe I shouldn't send a card right away? I just feel like I was so close to Cody too. If anyone should send them a card and talk to them I'm the closest person they have. Then again not saying anything else may come off as not caring. I think I'm still going to send a card and then talk to them in a few days. I think for now all they want to do is cry.


Sending a card now is a good idea... I didn't want to give the impression that it wasn't. I think I was trying to say that words right now trying to sway how they feel ( not wanting another dog) may be too premature. Right now they need to grieve and feel that pain of losing a loved one.. and knowing that you care and that, in fact, you are grieving too can be very important. I relate back to when our human son was born very premature ( weighing only 1 lb, 12oz) and had very little chance of surviving, the words that meant the most were I'm sorry. People telling me this was God's will, that we could always have another, etc etc etc were not helpful or what we wanted or needed to hear. We needed people to recognize our pain and just be there. Follow your heart and I bet you'll of great comfort to them.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

Just that fact that you are there for them through the grieving process will be a huge help for them. I remember when I lost my Kody that I felt I needed to hide my grief from a lot of people because there were some (who didn't have dogs) who didn't understand how I could be so upset over the loss. It only compounded the grief. Please extend my deepest condolences to them...from someone who understands...and let them know that they did the best that they could for their sweet boy. Dogs would never judge...they don't have the capacity...they only love.

Godspeed sweet angel Tucker....run free sweet boy.........


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## AmyinAr (Feb 26, 2008)

I am so sorry for their loss, you might do something like frame a pic of him and his collar in a shadow box or something of that nature, sometimes something like that says more than words can.

I'm not sure there are words to console them, it will just take time. Maybe encourage them to make a donation to a golden rescue in their pups name to help another dog live a long life. 

There is no shame in their decision and I am an avid proponent of paying for bog surgeries, at that age with that chance of recovery they made the right decision for them. When/if they get another dog, encourage them to find pet insurance so that they may not have to be in this position again.

They sound wonderful and you are wonderful for caring, you are all in my prayers!


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

Just let them know you will miss Tucker too and that you are there for them if they need to talk. Everyone responds differently to loss. Sometimes all people need is someone to listen. Sometimes people need to keep their feelings to themselves. If they know they can turn to you when they need to let out their grief and frustration, they will know how much you cared and will always care.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Give them your ears to listen as often as they want to talk about Tucker. No-one but dog lovers will understand what they are going through.


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## Phoebe (Feb 8, 2006)

When somebody is in the thick of it...the pain is so awful that there is really not much you can say. When I lost Lucy, I swore I'd never get another golden. Losing her broke my heart. I needed time and when it felt right again (and it took two years), I did get Phoebe and I know Lucy would be pleased with that decision. Nobody could have talked me into getting Phoebe until my heart was ready.

Give them time and when they are ready, I'll bet they get another dog. It's a mighty lonely world without a dog.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

Everyone has given very good advice, so I'll just add that I am sorry also. You may suggest that they join a forum such as ours to help with their grief. I wish I had found GRF before I lost Sam. I can promise you no one will mind that Tucker was not a Golden...he's a beloved pet and that is all that matters. God Bless


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

Thank you everyone. My sister did call last night and she is feeling a little better. She did most of the talking but, I did tell her she would change her mind about wanting another dog and she agreed. Just not right now. She was glad she had a few days with Tucker before he passed. They had that time to prepare themselves and to say goodbye. I also told her how darn cute he was. He still looked like a puppy at ten years old. He was a mini schnauzer and was the tiniest one I've ever seen at only eight pounds. I read to her some of the poems from this thread and told her that a forum would be a great idea if she had the time. Her favorite thing I read was the Garth Brooks song The Dance. She is going to play it when she spreads his ashes in their churches rose garden on Sunday. They were so lucky to have him for those ten years.


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## mainegirl (May 2, 2005)

i think the last slide on hooch's good morning video says it all. love it and want a copy, hooch.
beth, moose and angel


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## Aprilpa (Mar 24, 2008)

I agree with everyone else who has said a simple "I'm sorry" is just fine. Only dog lovers will understand the depth of the grief they are going through. She will have plenty of people that tell her to move on, she can get another dog, or the worst "it was _just_ a dog". You being there with a sympathetic ear and just letting them talk and deal with it in their own way is the best thing you can do. I think any of us that have lost a pet have sworn we would never get another. It is only a matter of time before that will change.  Glad to hear your sister is doing better this morning, and please offer my condolences.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Grief is such a long lonely process but you can't do it for them. And they will each grieve in their own way.
When our Max died, my DH said he never want ed to go through that kind of pain again and didn't think he could handle getting another dog. I knew I couldn't live without a golden in my life and that Max would want me to have a golden to comfort me and eventually bring me joy. So a few months later we got Selka . Selka is mostly my boy but by the time we got Gunner, DH was ready to love again. And Gunnie is both a mom and Dad's boy.


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## GoldenDaisy (Jul 16, 2007)

So sorry for your sister's and her husband loss of their beautiful boy. I'm sure your support for them helps immensely. Just let your sister talk about it as much as she wants, I know it helped me when we lost Daisy to talk about it to people who understand and care. Please give them my condolences.


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## ScoobyDoo (May 7, 2008)

I was given this poem 30 years ago by my Aunt after the passing of my first dog Stormy. It meant alot to me then but became very dear to me after the passing of my Scooby just this past Easter. 
Hope it helps them as it did me.


*A Dog for Jesus*

I wish someone had given Jesus a dog.
As loyal and loving as mine.
To sleep by His manger and gaze in His eyes
And adore Him for being divine.

As our Lord grew to manhood His faithful dog,
Would have followed Him all through the day.
While He preached to the crowds and made the sick well
And knelt in the garden to pray.
It is sad to remember that Christ went away.
To face death alone and apart.
With no tender dog following close behind,
To comfort its Master's Heart.
And when Jesus rose on that Easter morn,
How happy He would have been,
As His dog kissed His hand and barked it's delight,
For The One who died for all men.

Well, the Lord has a dog now, I just sent Him mine,
The old pal so dear to me.
And I smile through my tears on this first day alone,
Knowing they're in eternity.


Tell your friends to focus on the whole story book of Tuckers life and not the final chapter.


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## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

Placing them in our thoughts and prayers.

So very sorry for the loss of Tucker, and that they are having to go thru this 
I truly believe that our beautiful furbabies at the Bridge help us in finding our next furbaby to love, and part of our Bridge Babies stays with the new pupper. 

(((Hugs to them)))


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

Thank you all for your words. This week has been hard on me and your words helped very much. I just reaized today that one year ago this week we lost Woody (our big old orange cat). I remembered because it was the week befor our boys started back to school. Woody was really my sons cat, his best buddy in the whole world. My son will be nine this year and always had Woody in his life. There was certainly a special bond between them. I remember watching him go through the grief and can imagine how my sis and BIL feel. Thanks again.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*HeartofGold*

HeartofGold.

For me, I would say, you gave Tucker the greatest gift, you set him free from pain-there was no hope. Quality of life has to be considered I believe, and it sounds like he really had none.

I really hope that helps you and them. As far as getting another dog,
tell them they shouldn't not share their special love with another dog and Tucker would want them to and it would be a tribute to him.


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## wabmorgan (May 6, 2008)

What words do I say.... 

any words would pale.... 

any words would not help....

there simply aren't any at times like this. 

I am so sorry for their loss. 

I lost my Jean-luc in jan/08. He was 17 years old. 

He had a tumor on the spleen and there was simply nothing they could do. (I would have done anything to save him.... if there had been a way to do so.) 

I now have a new puppy.... and he has filled the void left by my dear Jean-luc. I even named the new puppy Jean-luc, jr. in Jean-luc's honor. 

Hopefully your firends will find another to fill their hearts.


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