# Please Help-Dog is scared of everything!



## mstanya (Jan 31, 2009)

We adopted a female golden, 3 years old, 2 weeks ago. She was shy when we got her but thought she would come out of it. So far, she has not. 

She came from a lady who lived alone and did not have many people visiting her but had other dogs. She is fine with other dogs but people she is afraid of. Her strategy is total avoidance. She has never growled, showed teeth or any signs of agression. She just totally avoids you.

I have 3 kids and the whole family wants a dog we can interact with. So far, it is like we do not even own a dog. She spends all her time under the bed! 

Her eating habits and bathroom habits are strange too. She usually eats around 2 am and has to go to the bathroom at 4 am. That is usually the only time she will go to the bathroom all day. It took her an entire week before she pooped at all!

She did just go in heat two days ago but her attitude has not changed much in these past two days. It is 7 pm now and I have not even seen her today. She is so far under my bed the only way to get her out is to move the bed!

I called and talked to the owner last week and she said that she just thinks it will take time. I realize that could happen but how long? I have never seen a dog like this. We are considering giving her back but we don't even know if the lady will take her back. I thought I would write here and hopefully get some helpful hints before taking her back. I realize that since she came from somewhere where she was isolated from people it could take a while. My thing is if we wait too long the lady may not take her back and then we are stuck with a dog that does not interact for years to come.

In order for me to move her from under my bed or the dining room, is she happens to be there, is to but a leash on her and pull her. 

Please help!!!


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## bwoz (Jul 12, 2007)

Dogs that are nervous can take longer than a few weeks to come out of their shell. I'd suggest asking the rescue if they can recommend a behaviorist or trainer to help you along? Good luck to you and keep us informed.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

Sounds as if your poor dog hasn't been socialized much. It will take lots of patience and time for her to learn that people are OK and can be trusted. If she is at all food-motivated, maybe have everyone in the house give her a tasty treat (not her dog food, but some chicken, hot dog, liverwurst or whatever she really likes) when she starts to approach them, or even come out from under the bed. She needs to learn that people are the source of good things. I also would not force her into interacting with anybody, give her lots of praise when she makes even the smallest effort, and avoid loud noises or sudden moves. And as suggested above, find a good, positive-method behaviorist to help you.

You'll probably get some good suggestions from folks on this forum, too. I wish you luck with your new girl. Please don't give up on her yet, and keep us posted.


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## NuttinButGoldens (Jan 10, 2009)

This is going to take a LOT longer than a few weeks. We're talking months or more.

There is no question this poor girl has suffered some sort of trauma. Where or when you will probably never get the straight story to.

The idea of having to use her leash to pull her from under the bed bothers me. I think this would make matters worse. Instead, somehow block the bed so she can't get under it. I would slowly make it so she has to spend time with humans and can't hide, but in a manner where your touch is not needed.

I would make sure that every person in the household should be required to spend a minimum amount of time with her every day to prevent her from latching onto one single person. That will only partially fix the problem.

As for the eating at 2am and potty at 4am? All the humans are alseep. No one to bother her. It makes sense to me.

I am not a Pet Psychologist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn once 



mstanya said:


> We adopted a female golden, 3 years old, 2 weeks ago. She was shy when we got her but thought she would come out of it. So far, she has not.
> 
> She came from a lady who lived alone and did not have many people visiting her but had other dogs. She is fine with other dogs but people she is afraid of. Her strategy is total avoidance. She has never growled, showed teeth or any signs of agression. She just totally avoids you.
> 
> ...


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## dogluver04 (Jul 5, 2008)

2 Weeks is not a long time at all for a new dog to get used to new surroundings that are totally different that what she is used too.. Id give her more time. Maybe read up and do some research on dogs like this.. She just needs time.. I wouldnt give up on her so fast. Youll be so happy once you have helped her through this and she turns out to be a good dog!


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

Like the others said time and baby steps. You might try taking her for a walk in a quiet place, just be sure her collar is snug so she can't back out.


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## FlyingQuizini (Oct 24, 2006)

I'd personally leash her to me at all times. Period. Where I go, she goes. Ignore her "resistance" and just be matter-of-fact in your activity. Don't have to force lots of active interaction, but you do need to get her out of hiding so she figures out people aren't awful. I'd also sit and try to hand-feed her too. If she won't eat from your hand, offer food on the ground between she and you.

She sounds 100% undersocialized, poor thing!


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

Poor baby must be scared to death! Good for you for taking her in. Just take baby steps as mentioned before, hand feed and give it some time. Good for you to keep trying! Don't give up!


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## GoldenSail (Dec 30, 2008)

Realistically, I think it will likely take a lot of time *and* training to turn this dog around, from what I've read. If I were you I would not push myself on the dog, but try to stay calm and normal. Let her come to you. Definitely use treats to teach her that people are the best thing in the world. If you can't get her to come to you, just start by casually throwing treats out to her as you pass by, acting like you could care less if she notices you or not.

As for the late night eating and potty break? Personally, I would offer the food to her once a day and if she didn't eat it then it gets taken away. She'll learn the program eventually. Just make sure when you do this that she can eat somewhere where she won't be intimidated by people. Perhaps put the bowl down and walk away.


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## mstanya (Jan 31, 2009)

Thanks to everyone for responding. Your responses were very encouraging. As far as being motivated by food, she is not! It took her several days before she would eat anything at all. The lady we got her from said to give her chicken liver and you would be able to get her to do anything. Wrong! She avoids that as well.

I do have a spot for her in the dining room/kitchen. As a family, we spend a lot of time in there so I usually make her hang out there when we are home. The hand feeding has worked. That is how we got her to eat what little she does eat.

We also, before she went into heat, let her sleep in bed with my husband and I so that she could feel like one of the pack. The first two nights she had a hard time with it but the third night she actually licked me for the first time.

I try to have her in the same room as much as possible when the family is home. I stay at home with my youngest during the day so she does have people around.

I will try the suggestions that I got but most importantly I now realize that this can take quite a long time! Thank you all again for helping. I am sure I will be back on with more questions and updates.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

FlyingQuizini said:


> I'd personally leash her to me at all times. Period. Where I go, she goes. Ignore her "resistance" and just be matter-of-fact in your activity. Don't have to force lots of active interaction, but you do need to get her out of hiding so she figures out people aren't awful. I'd also sit and try to hand-feed her too. If she won't eat from your hand, offer food on the ground between she and you.
> 
> She sounds 100% undersocialized, poor thing!


Good advise, I had a lot of work with Chewie but in the end he turned out good. He was scarred to death of a lot of things just keep working on it.
Steff had a lot of good suggestions.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

This will take some time, maybe a lot of time, but it sounds like her major issue is not having much exposure to the world. I adopted a dog whose exposure was so minimal that he'd never seen GRASS before and it took three days for him to realize that he could potty on it! I would make it hard for her to hide without forcing people on her too much, but leashing her to you is a good idea. Take her out for walks in the neighborhood, knock on doors of people you know and introduce her. If you have dog savvy friends, invite them over, give them some high-value treats (homemade peanut butter treats worked a charm on Finn) and ask them to sit quietly holding out a treat. Rome wasn't built in a day, but lots of gentle conditioning without freaking her out will do wonders in a few weeks or months. Good luck!


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## kerribear's golden kids (May 17, 2007)

I agree with Steph on this one. Tie her to you and hand feeding. 2 best ways to get super shy dogs to open up and trust people!
Once you see her strating to trust, start taking her places dogs are allowed, like pet stores, bring her favorite treats and ask people if they would help you, give them a few treats, make her sit give her a treat and then ask them to pet her under her chin or chest area NOT over her head...You'll see her open up but this will take time...

Good luck and if you can give her a hug!


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## Sucker For Gold (Jan 13, 2009)

I learned a little trick a while back from watching Ceaser Milan. I actually had the opportunity to try it once and it worked. This is only one small step to try perhaps along with food treats. Give her a treat or two and then move a few feet away from her. Sit on the ground with your back to her. Sometimes facing away is much less confrontational and she may approach you. If she approaches take it very slow. Let her set the pace. Hopefully she will find the courage to approach and begin checking you out. I would even try putting a few treats on the ground close to you so that you don't have to move. I would not try to pet her at all in the beginning because the movement may startle her. Slowly try to get her to stay close by hand feeding. You will probably have an idea when the time is right to touch her once you get tuned in.

This is only a first step on a long road, but it might be a good start.

If someone is willing to do it, I would also try sleeping on the floor close to her but not too close. Again you are giving her a chance to approach in a non confrontational way. Since you have already had some success sleeping with her and you already managed to get a kiss, you would just be working towards additional baby steps progress.


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## GoldenOwner12 (Jun 18, 2008)

When i first got Shelley at 14 weeks old she was very shy accepted pats from people but would back away if you came in too fast. She was that shy the breeder had to remove her from her car and put her into our car. It took Shelley about 2-3 weeks to warm up us fully. But a puppy is different from an adult i suppose, Shelley loved her food and ate that night of her being home. But any sudden movements or loud noises she would cower and run. Shelley would not sleep inside at all still won't she feels more comfortable outside, She was kept outside in a kennel run all her puppy life at the breeders. What i did was sit outside pay attention to my other dog Einstein and she finally gained confidence and came up for pats, Now she loves people can't keep her away from them. But as i said she wasn't all that bad just lack of confidence is what set her back plus being kept in a kennel run all her puppy life with minimum human contact. 

I think it would be best if you blocked all hiding places eg under bed,table any where she can get to but you can't. I think first start off in a small room with you and the dog at first. Do not approach the dog, sit on the ground with treats and let the dog approach you when the dog reach's you place a treat slowly on the ground if she won't take it from your hand. When her confidence starts to build up more place the treat on the ground with your hand close to the treat slowly each time closer till your finger is touching the treat and she takes the treat knowing your finger is touching it. When she gets to that point leave the treat in your hand but your hand flat on the ground. For the time being getting the dog to like being around you is the first step so try not to pat her unless she nudges your hand for a pat. Once she loves being around you slowly introduce the rest of family one by one until she loves the whole family in the one room. It will take alot of time and patience on your part to get this dog to accept and love being around people. Try not to make any sudden movements while around her as this will set you back. You need to gain her confidence and trust and this will take time.


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## MycrazyGoldengang (Jan 15, 2008)

We adopted Bella 10 months ago and to be honest we could have given up after 10 days. We thought she would come in and settle down no problem.

We learnt something new about her everyday, her previous owner only told us what she wanted us to know.

What we offered her was completely different to what she was used to, we learnt she was only allowed in certain rooms so everytime we called her she would stop at the entrance of a room. We encouraged her and when she responded we made the biggest fuss she had ever had and rewarded her with hugs and kisses so she had something to relate to.

Adopted dogs come with all sorts of issues and had we not learnt and understood her problems she wold not be here today.

We are now 10 months down the line, the garden is wrecked (she is a digger), but never mind we can work on that in the summer.

Your reward like ours will be to get through it have the patience of an angel and look back and say god that was hard work but we got there gradually.

We thought Bella was being naughty sometimes with what she done, but it's not it was what she was used to.

It was only 3 days ago i wrote a thread saying how pleased we are that we coud offer Bella a new home and pleased that we had golden that was now apart of our family and the comments we recieved back made it all worthwhile.

Good luck and one thing i did was everytime there was an issue i did not know how to handle i would get it off my chest by putting my feelings down on this forum and i found everyone had words of support or advice to keep us going.

Good Luck


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

Jackson'sMom said:


> Sounds as if your poor dog hasn't been socialized much. It will take lots of patience and time for her to learn that people are OK and can be trusted. If she is at all food-motivated, maybe have everyone in the house give her a tasty treat (not her dog food, but some chicken, hot dog, liverwurst or whatever she really likes) when she starts to approach them, or even come out from under the bed. She needs to learn that people are the source of good things. I also would not force her into interacting with anybody, give her lots of praise when she makes even the smallest effort, and avoid loud noises or sudden moves. And as suggested above, find a good, positive-method behaviorist to help you.
> 
> You'll probably get some good suggestions from folks on this forum, too. I wish you luck with your new girl. Please don't give up on her yet, and keep us posted.


Great post by Jackson's mom. I'd also find an APDT certified or other very positive trainer to help you get the hand of clicker training. It's a nice style of training to communicate witrh the dog, and bond. Some basic obedience training is going to be key in getting her to interact. What about blocking off the bed, and redirecting her to a crate in a more social area like the kitchen? Or maybe before doing that, a first step could be to play talk radio/ tv some of the time, to get her used to the sound of human voices. How about if a friend's stable, friendly dog comes to visit? She is VERY lucky that you took her in. Good luck, and keep us updated!


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

Give her time. Bailey, my niece's dog, was very shy and avoided people. He used to stay in her room when she had company. I would sit on the stairs and I'd let him come to me. I never approached him. When he had enough and would go away, I'd walk away and go back later. He'd come back again! 

He comes to stay with us whenever they go on vacation and we all have a blast and we really would like to keep him. He is going to be 6 soon and he has really came out of his shell. He's coming on the 14th and I can't wait. He'll only be here a week though.


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## Miss Happy (Dec 22, 2007)

Lot of good suggestions - hang in there and keep taking deep breaths.


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## MurphyTeller (Sep 28, 2008)

mstanya said:


> Thanks to everyone for responding. Your responses were very encouraging. As far as being motivated by food, she is not! It took her several days before she would eat anything at all. The lady we got her from said to give her chicken liver and you would be able to get her to do anything. Wrong! She avoids that as well..


I wholeheartedly agree with Stephanie about tethering her to you in the house and preventing her from getting under the bed. When you move the bed to retrieve her you are (and I know that's not your intention) confirming her fears - and you'll probably never know what happened in her past - speaking from experience you probably don't want to know.

Do you have a crate for her? She seems like she likes small safe places - a crate might be a good place for her to feel safe - but you never drag her or force her out (same as moving the bed).

You mention that she's not motivated by food - I think it's too soon to know if she's food motivated. Fear trumps food all the time...I had a golden/spaniel mix that wouldn't eat when people were in the room - period. You could put steak in the middle of the room and she'd be so scared of getting into trouble that she wouldn't touch it. When she did eat (when we were out of the room) she shook so violently she'd throw up - over and over again. It took her hours to eat a small amount of food. Over the course of a year or so she became the biggest foodhound - I remember fondly the time she grabbed a pot roast out of a grocery bag on the floor while we were putting groceries away - we all cheered...and then we went back to the store for another roast. 

So give her some time - be very gentle with coaxing her out of her shell - and do take time just hanging with her - letting her interact with you and not vice versa - don't force yourselves on her. Let it be her idea. When it is her idea tell her she's wonderful. You can also try putting something really yummy in your hand (roast beef is great for this) then extending your hand away from you (but not towards her) and then looking away - can she summon up the confidence to check out the food? If she can't that's OK for now - you'll get there - backup and put the uber treat on the floor near you feet (again not looking at her) and just wait...

It takes time - take things slow and don't add things too quickly as things start to get better - it could very well take YEARS.


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## Rhapsody in Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I would try keeping her in the most open room. In our house that is the kitchen. People come and go all day long. If you put baby gates on the entry ways she can see what is going on and be part of the family interactions. 

What you describe does not worry me as much other issues might. For example, I would be very worried if she was aggressive. This problem just takes time and a lot of love. Take every opportunity to have members of the family bond with her. See if you can find a place to let her run safely and play with the family. Exercise and the joy of being free and just running outdoors is so good for their sweet souls. 

I wonder if by tethering her to you she might become dependent on you. Maybe the tethering is a first step . . . 

It sounds like there is so much she missed. You are an angel for bringing her into your home.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

You have an opportunity to change this dogs life for the better. Your children will learn patience and compassionin the process. The suggestions you are getting here will work, it will take lots of time and patience. But think of the gift you will give this little creature, a life free of fear.

Don't give up on her, the reward you will get in helping her will far outweigh the effort it takes.


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## Spun Gold (Nov 4, 2008)

mstanya said:


> We adopted a female golden, 3 years old, 2 weeks ago. She was shy when we got her but thought she would come out of it. So far, she has not.
> 
> She came from a lady who lived alone and did not have many people visiting her but had other dogs. She is fine with other dogs but people she is afraid of. Her strategy is total avoidance. She has never growled, showed teeth or any signs of agression. She just totally avoids you.
> 
> ...


Put the dog on a leash. Close the bedroom doors. When she is fearful do not react, when she shows curiosity and tries to explore praise her. Like everyone else pointed out it will take longer than two weeks. She obviously was not socialized and is used to a quieter environment and only socialized with other dogs, she is not used to a normal household...meaning no chaos, kids...so, it is VERY new to her. Give her as many experiences as you can without overwhelming her. For instance. 
Take her for a ride in the car. Even if it is around the block a couple times. If you do it every day and she will get used to the ride in the car. Or take her for a walk to the corner...short and sweet. Don't try to 'train' her or use corrections. If you put her on the leash and she takes six steps and stops...wait her out...Pick one 'goal' at a time and do it until she becomes comfortable...if it takes a month for her to relax enough to go for a walk then so be it. 

Patience, that is what a rescue dog is all about. If you thought otherwise you might have been a little too optimistic, there are quite a few that have 'issues' that need to be resolved. I applaud your giving her a chance but you should have been warned that rescue dogs often need 'special education' 

Rescue is not an instant gratification situation...you feel good doing it, but its work.

If she is eating at 2 am that is because you are leaving her the option. Do not leave her food at 2 am.

Feed her at 7 am or whenever, IN her crate...if she doesnt eat in 20 min pick it up and offer it at 5 pm. If she doesnt eat it in 20 min, pick it up and offer it the next morning at 7 am...YOU set the routine not the dog.

Enroll in some classes to learn how a dog thinks. They NEED a pack leader, you are it. If you do not show leadership the relationship will always suffer. Good luck


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## Bogart'sMom (Sep 16, 2005)

I have fostered 2 dogs before that were Breeder dog (females) at a puppymill before the rescue. Both were pretty shy about people. They took ALOT of Qs from my 2 dogs. They learned going trough the doggy door from my dogs and also felt more compftable on walks. They were both majorly shy about my Husband. When I was out walking the dogs I put them in a Harness so if they paniked and wanted to bold backwards out of the collar they couldn't get away and get lost.
At first when outside I would let them drag a leash so I could catch them again. They never really hid under anything but they loved to lay on a dogbed out of the way in the corner. Just be patient, it's wonderful that she is so docile she has the right Temperament for a Golden. You got a lot of good sugestions and the tieing her to you might be a good one to try.
Good luck,


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