# New Puppy Help



## jenlaur (Jun 24, 2009)

pippi2j said:


> Hello - I'm new to these forums, and I'm sure there's other posts on this, but I couldn't find any, so I'm writing this here.
> 
> My husband and I picked up our 8 week old puppy last Saturday and since she's been with us, just about a week, I've been feeling completely overwhelmed and anxious. Both my husband and I have had dogs growing up, but it's the first time we've every had to handle the puppy part. I've been begging my husband for 8 years to get a dog, and he finally gave me the official OK I was so excited! I work from home, and we have a big yard, so we figured it was the perfect time. I picked up about 6 different books on training and toys and crate, etc etc ...and now that we have her, I'm completely clueless. Everything that the books say "should" happen, don't. I have hired a trainer, and we've had 1 session so far- I got a lot of really good ideas to start off with some training and focus with her, but still nothing seems to be working. I find that I'm just yelling at her most of the day and I'm thankful when she's asleep.
> 
> ...


If you search these forums you will find lots of information. You will find questions and answers that deal with exactly what you are going through. And you will probably receive lots of advice from people who know far more than I do.

But since Kona is only 5 1/2 months old I still have many things fresh in my mind.

First of all, yelling accomplishes nothing but to make your pup afraid of you. So take a deep breath and try to remember that you are dealing with a baby. She is new to this also and has just been taken away from all she knows. She is trying to adapt to you just as you are to her.

Potty training can be frustrating. Take her out and mean business. Take a treat (a piece of kibble will probably work). Tell her to go potty, give her a few minutes to do it. When she goes throw a party: "Good girl!!!" and give her a piece of kibble or other small treat. If she doesn't go in the first few minutes take her back in and try again in 5 or 10 minutes. She will be going out A LOT in the first few weeks.

Make the crate a fun place to be. Place a chew toy in for her. Our breeder sent us home with a pillow pet. Kona loved that and would fall asleep on it. I kept frozen kongs and hollow bones in the freezer (I fill with some kibble and put yogurt or a small amount of peanut butter on either end and freeze). He got these only when he had to go in the crate. After a few times all I had to do was say "Crate" and he would go in and wait for his treat.

And make sure she gets plenty of exercise. Lots of playing inside and out. A tired puppy is a happy puppy. Right now she's probably sleeping a lot. But she will be staying up longer and becoming more active. And don't be afraid to use the crate for a break for the both of you. Sometimes they just need to be alone and settle down.

Puppyhood can be very frustrating but it only lasts a short time. In a few months when she is too big to pick up and hold you will wonder how the time passed so fast. Good luck!


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

There are lots of good answers and support to be found here, so you're in the right place.

You need to adjust a couple of things about how you're approaching this...first, there is no perfect way to train a puppy because they are all different and some things will come easily and others just won't. So take it easier on yourself!

Second, throw that alpha/dominance garbage out the window...it's been widely discredited in the real training community and I wish it would die a natural death because all it does is put people in a power struggle with their dogs that doesn't exist. You see a dog who's trying to take over, when what's really happening is that you have a canine infant who is just trying to figure everything out and gets tired and confused easily. Think about it...two short months ago she was still in the womb. 

So take it easier on her, too!


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## Bwilson (Mar 25, 2014)

Congratulations on the new puppy. Yes it can be very overwhelming at times. It will slowly start to click into place she is still adjusting along with you. Potty training it seemed like I was going out every 10 min all day long to see if my River needed to go. I use a cue word and say it over and over like potty potty. When she does praise her and give a treat. I have used this one both my dogs and they hear that word and they go to do it and then go play. You can try keeping your puppy on a leash outside until after she goes potty. It took a few weeks for both my dogs to adjust to the kennel. They acted like it was torture. Now it is a peaceful den and they go lay down in it. Peanut butter in a kong is helpful. You can also try covering it with a blanket or a sheet. Does she sleep next to you? I hope it gets easier and remember to give yourself a break.


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## PattyU (Aug 6, 2014)

I cannot tell you how similar you sound to me from two months ago. I'm pretty sure I started this exact thread and had the same exact questions. Here's a link: http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...up-1-year/328305-so-many-puppy-questions.html

Bodie is now approaching 16 weeks, and I will tell you that although I continue to have questions about if what I'm doing is right, if he's healthy, etc., the beginning worries have faded. Bodie now willingly goes into his crate, always at night and sometimes during the day to rest, is able to entertain himself in an ex-pen during the day while I work (also from home), his housebreaking is going really well (he's been sleeping through the night for a few weeks now and doesn't have to be taken out every hour on the hour) and his training is coming along. 

Like you, my husband had a much more physical reaction to the stress at the beginning -- having no appetite, etc., and he's also much better now. 

One thing we started a couple weeks ago that I wish we would have started sooner is puppy classes. I thought Bodie had to be three months before we could take him anywhere, but I found that there are a lot of places that allow puppies as young as 8 weeks to begin classes as long as they have their first set of vaccinations. These classes helped with basic training and socialization (both with other dogs and other humans), but also plain tire Bodie out because of his puppy play time. I get one night a week where he sleeps like a rock and is still generally kinda worn out the next day. Plus, it gives you an outlet where you are with other people going through the same struggles as you so you know you're not the only one/your puppy isn't actually a devil dog. 

I think a lot of my frustration at the beginning came because of the books I read and how "1, 2, 3" they made puppy training sound. You will develop your own rhythm and learn what works for you and what doesn't, calling on the information you read in the books but mostly going off what feels right. I also lean on my vet a lot to make sure things are as they should be. Since I had to be there every few weeks at the beginning for vaccinations, I could bounce things off him and get some comfort there too. 

One last thing -- one of the most useful things I've trained is a "positive interrupter". Basically a sound, I use a kiss kiss, that will pull Bodie away from what he's doing and he will come to me. So, when he's chewing on the wall -- kiss kiss -- and he's coming to me for a treat. When he's eating his bedding -- kiss kiss -- and he's away from it. I'm not going to tell you he doesn't sometimes run right back over to the wall for a feast, and sometimes he does ignore it, but most of the times he is pulled from his bad behavior we can get him playing with a toy once he is pulled from what he shouldn't be doing. It is much more effective than "no!" since puppies don't know what that is. 

Good luck! Things will get better.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Take a deep breath. Did you do it? Okay - do it again. 

It really will get better. I promise.

Crate training: Just pick up your pup and put her in. No trying to lure her, giving her the opportunity NOT to go in. It is not cruel - but I agree, it's REALLY hard to listen to the crying. Don't give in. She will only learn that crying will get her out. If she does not need to go out, just let her cry. If the crate isn't in your bedroom, bring it in, or get a second one (there are lots on Kijiji). You can just calmy but firmly say, "go to sleep" when she cries. I found there was a difference between a cry to make sure I was there and a cry to go out. And yes, I lay there several nights willing her to please stop crying, to please understand that it was good for her to be in there, to please go to sleep. It hurts your heart, but she will be okay, and she will learn to sleep. My pup eventually grew to accept her crate (I would almost go as far as saying she liked it even!). She slept in it for five months, and she was in her big daytime crate while I was at work until she was 14 months old (and only that long because she CHOSE to stay in her crate the last month or two). 

I took Shala out every 20-30 minutes during the day when she was first home. Sometimes more. Always take your pup on a leash, to the same spot. It's not a play time, it's a pee/poo time. When she pees, say your pee command (mine was "quick quick!) and she'll learn that when you say that, it means go now. When she pees outside, throw a HUGE party. My first breeder said, if your neighbours don't think you're a complete loon, you're not praising enough. You can also treat train an outdoor pee in the beginning. 

Don't yell when she has an accident. Just scoop her up mid-pee and say, no - outside. And carry her out to the spot, and if she finishes there, HUGE praise. It's the greatest thing in the world. (Scooping her up mid-pee, by the way, will make her stop). 

Clean up accident spots with vinegar and water, allowing it to soak in, to get rid of the scent. 

Right now, you're feeling totally out of sorts. Your routine is all messed up. So is hers. A week ago, she was with her siblings. She's getting used to you, you're getting used to her. Once you get back into your routine, things will get easier. But yes, for now, meals will be interrupted and delayed. Sleep will be interrupted. But there is SO much good coming, too. Don't give up. This is a little blip on the way to your long life together!


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## Aiden's Mom (Aug 27, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> I find that I'm just yelling at her most of the day and I'm thankful when she's asleep.


Hey, there's so many members on this forum who were like, "What was I thinking?!" when we brought home our first puppy  You are not alone! I don't know if you have children or not, but it is so much like having a brand new baby in the house. What you are feeling is completely normal. It is mostly because your life has completely changed in a new, exciting way, and it does take some extra time to get used to. It will take some time to "bond" with the new puppy because they still have their baby brains, and you might still feel stressed for the next week or two, but I promise you and the new pup will adjust. 



pippi2j said:


> Potty training is questionable about how it's going - she has had a few accidents, but I realize it's because I missed the cue - but I always time it: after she eats, I wait about 20-25 min, then take her out...she just spends the entire time running around the yard, eating grass, mulch, leaves, anything she can get her mouth on. So I bring her in, wait another 10 min, take her out again, and it's the same thing. So I bring her back in - 5 min later, she's going on the kitchen floor. I just can't figure it out.


Potty training is very different for every puppy. I promise you every dog just seems to "get it" one day -- it will take time. Your puppy is 9-10 weeks so this is still very early in the process, don't worry, you are doing just fine! My biggest advice is to stick to a very strict schedule. When I was there, just 8 months ago, it felt like I was monitoring my pup Aiden 24/7. I literally did not take my eyes off him unless he was in his crate or on a leash that was attached to me. I would "walk" him around the house -- as in, he was constantly on a very light leash with me in the house. He would have 2-3 scheduled nap times in his crate, and every time he even set foot out of his crate, he was walked/carried to his water bowl to have a quick drink, and then it was straight outside. I was very consistent with this. Outside he was on a very short leash and did not have the option to play until he pottied, and he got this very quick. I would also repeat "Go Potty" a million times and have a party when he did, and gave him some delicious cheese.

Also, after he had his meals, he would be offered water -- as soon as he had a drink, we went right outside. Basically, his cues were either waking up from a nap (especially when he was in the crate), right after a big playtime, and right after his meals/drink. If you catch him having an accident in the house (usually right next to me before I could catch it..) I "startled" him by lightly stomping the ground and picking him up...then it was outdoors until he finished his business. I guess my "big plan" was that we didn't come back indoors until he pottied -- and yes, this could be a good amount of time, but gives you the opportunity of showing the puppy what you like.

Soon you will start to understand your dog's pee and poop schedule. Until then, you will probably be rushing outdoors every 30 minutes depending on naptime/meals/playtime :



pippi2j said:


> Crate training has been equally difficult - she hates it. We put her in at night and she does whimper for a little while and stops and she does go through the night really well - but getting her in, takes at least 10 min every time. I've tried to slowly lure her in with treats and toys. I've been feeding her in there and she's fine...but as soon as we try to close the door, she jumps out. Or, if she's distracted by food and toys, she cries once she realizes that the door is closed. I know they're not suppose to feel like the crate is punishment, but if she hates it this much, isn't it punishment to put her in? I realize that since I work from home, I shouldn't have to crate her, but when I do need to go somewhere, I need to put her in.


The crate is not punishment for her. Some human toddlers hate taking naps (my nephew seems to scream for 15 minutes when we are trying to put him down for a nap) -- same with puppies. They will get cranky and cry, but they will pass out not long after that. She will need structured naps if she is not taking them herself and will realize the crate is a safe place to do so eventually. Make sure the crate is somewhat near you so that you can see her, but cover the crate, leaving the front open, with a blanket. Make her a yummy "puppy" kong and freeze it for times where you will be gone longer, and save these special long lasting treats for those times. Play games inside the crate, toss her favorite treats (cheese, slices of real meats) in the crate but allow her to walk out on her own and repeat this many times. It will take time but it will be worth it!



pippi2j said:


> I have almost no appetite anymore, eating usually just dinner and I have constant feeling of nausea the entire day. I know she's just a puppy and I don't expect her to be trained overnight, but it just feels like nothing is working and that I made a huge mistake. I've always thought I was a very patient person, but I'm learning that I was very wrong about that and I get short with her, and I know she senses it and it probably gives her the feeling of 'winning' and that she's the alpha ... I just don't know what to do, or if any of this is normal. How do you know when you're doing a good job, and you're doing what's best for the dog? I've been feeling like we should just bring her back to the breeder, but I don't want to be a failure either.


Believe me, you are not alone in feeling the way you do. We call it the "puppy blues". She is still very young -- you are doing great, just be consistent because puppies love and need structure and schedules! She is not trying to be "alpha", she is being a rambunctious "toddler" that is trying to explore the world. She is completely normal, and we have all been through it...and you will get through it too. You will look back on this post and laugh while hugging your beautiful girl. Best of luck


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## jenlaur (Jun 24, 2009)

I agree with puppy class. Kona was 9 weeks when he started. Basically it was just a socialization class but we did learn a few thing. He loved it and it tired him out.


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## PattyU (Aug 6, 2014)

The other secondary benefit of puppy class is it gave me somewhere else to take Bodie in the car other than the vet. Sure, we do some trips to parks and things, but we didn't do that when he was very young because of his vaccination status. I didn't want Bodie to think every time he got in the car he was going to that bad place where he gets shots (not that he's ever actually shown an adverse reaction to going to the vet, in fact he seems to quite enjoy it). But, in any case, I didn't want him to only associate bad things with going in the car. This way, once a week we get in the car and he gets to go play with his friends -- definitely a positive experience!


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

What everyone above me said is right on. You have, essentially, an infant under your care. She has no clue what you want or expect from her. The books are helpful, but every puppy is different. You have to work with the dog you have.

Potty training: take pup out on a leash. Say "go potty" or whatever phrase you want to use. Walk in circles, jog a bit - I found with Zelda that she would often pee mid-action, so I'd walk her around until it just happened. If she doesn't go in 10 minutes, back inside to CRATE for 5 minutes, then back outside. Otherwise you will have accidents inside. Zelda was crazy difficult to potty training - I didn't consider her trained until 6 months old! But I've heard other puppies are much easier. 

The crate: cover that baby up! I covered Z's with a blanket on the sides and front, leaving the back open, fom the day I brought her home. It makes it feel more den-like, and also, if they can't see you (and what they're missing out on), I feel like the whining decreases. Puppies are very good at training us humans to respond to their crying. For Zelda, when she whined (and it only lasted the first few nights), I'd lay by her crate with my fingers in it until she fell asleep. I didn't speak, just let her know I was there. Now at 11 months (where has the time gone?!), she isn't crated at night anymore, but some nights she'll sleep in it if we're being too loud/obnoxious. 

Most of all: relax. Have a glass of wine. You'll screw up plenty of times - all of us have. Even those that have raised puppies before.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

If I had gathered up all the tears I shed the first couple of months, I'd fill the ocean, I think. At least a very large lake! 

It's very stressful - especially because the reality is so different from the expectation. It does pass, though. Once you both get into a routine, it gets easier. Don't beat yourself up, either - I think all of us have yelled a time or two - I used to tell Max I was going to take him to the SPCA and leave him there, just because I'd be so frustrated. 

You'll be okay. Nothing to add to what the others have said except this, you will be okay.


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## Kylie's Mom (Jun 23, 2013)

Everyone has given you excellent advice. You will be fine....just establish a schedule that works for both of you. Our girl is 21 months old now and we are getting a new puppy (Born 12/23/2014)next month. Our friends say we are crazy, we will have some trying times, but it will all be worth it in the end. We will have two loving girls that we hope will become best friends and playmates. We will post pictures soon!


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

One thing I would suggest is if you know your pup doesn't need anything. Go have a cup of tea or a glass of wine take a few minutes to yourself. Then get back into the swing of things. The less stress you have rhe easier it will get


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Thank you all for the responses - reading them has definitely helped and made me realize that I'm not as crazy as I thought I was. I've been feeling like this awful person, because - who couldn't just love a puppy? She did have a lot of really good socialization at the breeder - she has 2 small girls that definitely gave her a run for her money. I feel like maybe she's bored with us - but I do play with her, and get her out to run around and burn some energy. Once she's got all her vaccinations, I do want to get her out around other dogs, but we were hoping to avoid the puppy kindergarten stuff because my husbands last dog it made her even more wild and hyper. 
The trainer we have coming has given me some suggestions on how to curb some of the nipping, jumping, biting furniture, etc and even the outside stuff in grabbing the mulch, leaves, grass, etc - but after only 3ish days, that's already worn off and she doesn't care. His suggestion when she's doing something we don't want her to do, stand up straight and use a low loud growl to her attention, then immediately when she stops a high pitched "good puppy"; if it didn't work on the first try, then after the growl, either squirt her with some water, or shake a chain in a bottle (similar to pennies in a can) to get her attention - then when she stops, do the 'good puppy' again. Now, she's more interested in what I have in my hand and doesn't stop doing what she's doing at all. I don't know what else to try, to get her stop doing those things. I know she's just a puppy, but if we don't stop it now, I'm worried that she'll think it's OK and keep doing it. 

I find that I have the least control of her, when I have her outside trying to go potty; I try to keep her out of the mulch, leaves, etc - but she dives right to them and then pretends it's a game when I try to get it out of her mouth. 

She's actually pretty good at night, she only whines a little right when we put her in, but we go to bed and she stops. We don't have her in the bedroom, because she does actually seem OK in the living room. Getting her in the crate is the problem though. I've brought her toys in and tried to get her to play, but she grabs it and brings it back out - over and over. Treats, she'll stay in for, and long enough that I can get the door closed, but as soon as she realizes it, she whines.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Might I just add that when we adopted Tayla at 4 months we had NO IDEA what we were getting into. I cried every day. My husband and I fought all the time about her. She was horrible (she really wasn't a good puppy) and I was exhausted and stressed 24/7. We swore we would never consider getting another puppy again. She is now 3, we have adopted a 5 year old and just the other day my husband said, "You know I feel like we got cheated out of the normal puppy stuff with Tayla because she was so very bad. I think I'd like to try it again this time with a puppy from a good breeder." So, we think next year might be the year that we try it again. If we do it will be our last large breed puppy because we are at that age now. I've already got a list of Florida breeders on my tablet. Having a puppy is an overwhelming experience for many of us. It's like child birth (or so I hear). You swear you will never go through that again, but you probably will. Take a deep breath and try to enjoy the ride. It will be a bumpy one in places, but you will look back on it fondly.


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## Goldens R Great (Aug 19, 2010)

pippi2j said:


> Thank you all for the responses - reading them has definitely helped and made me realize that I'm not as crazy as I thought I was. I've been feeling like this awful person, because - who couldn't just love a puppy? She did have a lot of really good socialization at the breeder - she has 2 small girls that definitely gave her a run for her money. I feel like maybe she's bored with us - but I do play with her, and get her out to run around and burn some energy. Once she's got all her vaccinations, I do want to get her out around other dogs, but we were hoping to avoid the puppy kindergarten stuff because my husbands last dog it made her even more wild and hyper.
> The trainer we have coming has given me some suggestions on how to curb some of the nipping, jumping, biting furniture, etc and even the outside stuff in grabbing the mulch, leaves, grass, etc - but after only 3ish days, that's already worn off and she doesn't care. *His suggestion when she's doing something we don't want her to do, stand up straight and use a low loud growl to her attention, then immediately when she stops a high pitched "good puppy"; if it didn't work on the first try, then after the growl, either squirt her with some water, or shake a chain in a bottle (similar to pennies in a can) to get her attention - then when she stops, do the 'good puppy' again.* Now, she's more interested in what I have in my hand and doesn't stop doing what she's doing at all. I don't know what else to try, to get her stop doing those things. I know she's just a puppy, but if we don't stop it now, I'm worried that she'll think it's OK and keep doing it.
> 
> I find that I have the least control of her, when I have her outside trying to go potty; I try to keep her out of the mulch, leaves, etc - but she dives right to them and then pretends it's a game when I try to get it out of her mouth.
> ...


I really think it would be better if you redirect your puppy rather than growling and squirting water at her as the trainer suggested. When she is chewing the furniture or eating mulch I would get her attention by saying her name or whistling or making a clicking noise and then have her sit and give her a toy or a chew toy or something else to play with. Yes, you'll probably be constantly redirecting her because puppies are very curious little creatures and love to explore with their mouths, but it will help guide her towards knowing what she's supposed to chew and what she's not supposed to chew. Also, as to using a high-pitched voice, there is the possibility that this could just rile her up and get her too excited. You'll just have to see if it does affect her that way. Definitely tell her she's a good girl though! 

Another thing that helped me with my last two puppies was I had them sit for everything. She's not to young to learn this and it helps with manners and self-control. Have her sit before treats, before food is given, before going inside and outside, and just have her sit for no reason at all! 

IMHO, I think a positive reinforcement trainer could give you better suggestions on how to teach your little lady than the suggestions you have had so far from your current trainer.

Puppies can definitely be overwhelming and exhausting and I feel for you. It absolutely will get better, but it takes time.


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## Christen113 (Dec 3, 2014)

You'll be fine! It can be pretty trying to have a new puppy! 

My biggest suggestion is TREATS!!! Stick to a schedule for feeding and water (I never left the food and water out all day) and take her out regularly. Once she goes, give her HUGE praise and a treat. I also think a leash helps, even if it's in your own backyard so you can keep her focused. 

For the kennel, mine didn't like the kennel at all in the beginning. I gave her lots of treats to go in it and also started feeding her in the kennel. It made a huge difference! I liked filling Kongs with peanut butter because it took her a while to actually get it out. I also fed some in the Tug a Jug because it took a while, too. 

Have you read either Dr. Sophia Yin's Perfect Puppy in 7 Days or Patricia McConnell's The Puppy Primer? They're both excellent books about positive reinforcement and training. 

I personally think that Puppy Obedience classes are crucial! Don't go for a class where it's just puppy play time and nobody has control. Look for a true puppy "obedience" class where they help you train your dog and gain control. It helps socialize them and it helps them behave with distractions. 

Puppies are hard work--it's a good thing they're so cute!! But one day, they grow up and you'll miss the cute puppy stage (sort of!  )


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## Christen113 (Dec 3, 2014)

Oh, and my girl used to wake up at the crack of dawn and just start howling and screeching because she was ready to play. I had been keeping her in the living room but I gave in for my own sanity and moved her temporarily into my bedroom so she could see me at night and in the morning. It worked and as she got older she got moved back to her original spot.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

One thing you need to keep in mind is that all of this silliness she is doing is 100% totally normal and to be expected from a puppy her age. Expect her to have accidents, expect her to put everything in her mouth, expect her to play instead of potty when you take her out.  She is a complete baby at this point and all of this all perfectly normal.


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

pippi2j said:


> Thank you all for the responses - reading them has definitely helped and made me realize that I'm not as crazy as I thought I was. I've been feeling like this awful person, because - who couldn't just love a puppy?


Oh, everybody. Thank goodness they're so cute; it's their only survival quality. Otherwise, we'd all be plopping them in the microwave and buying little Johnny a hamster while we explain how the puppy went to live on a farm.

You're doing fine. And you have great advice here. Definitely don't coax your puppy into the crate, just pick her up and put her in. And then have a glass of wine.










By the way, while you're drinking that glass of wine, make sure you take a few minutes to appreciate your (bound and gagged) puppy. The time they are puppies is gone in the blink of an eye, and you're going to really miss it. So just relax your expectations for both you and your puppy, and enjoy her. That adorableness and puppy breath are going to be gone before you know it.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Sorry it's taken me a few days to respond - for some reason when I try to access the site from my home laptop, it tells me that my IP has been blocked by the administrator - but I can log in through my work laptop. 

Thanks again for the encouraging words - I'm realizing the some days will be better then others, so I'm keeping a positive open mind and just trying to roll with it. 

There are sometimes, where I'm really panicked that it feels like something is just sitting on my chest - and sometimes, it's like a big party. It's just trying to sort that all out. I really appreciate everyone's advice and will definitely keep checking these boards - you're all pretty amazing. <3


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

Hugs to you! I remember bringing home one of my *kids* from the hospital (not the first) and thinking, "WHAT DID I JUST DO?" It is a dramatic life change and the 2nd time around I knew what I was in for-- very daunting.

But, I got over it quickly because I stopped thinking! Don't think! Take it one moment at a time and just carry on, or TCB, as my sister and I say. 

Something I've learned with kids is how useful it is to be focused on what they should be doing instead of what they shouldn't. So, if you are going to say "no" or "ah-ah" or whatever, then think of what you want your pup to do instead. If you haven't already, get started with training the basics like sit, come, stay, etc. 

If you have time, try not to feed your pup from a regular bowl right now. Use the kibble as rewards. Put it in puzzle toys or chew toys (like Kongs). Give her JOBS. Otherwise, she'll gobble up her food and say, "Now what do I do for the rest of the day???" 

Don't be afraid to put her in her crate, either . . .really, several of my kids would always fight sleep (and all but 1 needed it) so get a routine that works for you and make sure it includes time AWAY from you. It's very important that she learns you leave her alone and it's OK. It will also give you a break!

Post pics!!!


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

During the day, instead of trying to crate train her, I've been keeping her penned in the hallway area outside of my office so I can keep an eye on her. I tried putting her in the crate, but if I had to get up to go to the bathroom, or the kitchen or something, she would hear me and start whining again...I figured that might be a waste of time. But I am worried that she's spending too much time with me and I don't know how to break that. I'd be fine if she was in the crate a room away, but I felt like it wasn't fair if I was sitting here and she knew it.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

This is Aayla


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## Henry's Mum (Nov 6, 2013)

DanaRuns said:


> Oh, everybody. Thank goodness they're so cute; it's their only survival quality. Otherwise, we'd all be plopping them in the microwave and buying little Johnny a hamster while we explain how the puppy went to live on a farm.
> 
> You're doing fine. And you have great advice here. Definitely don't coax your puppy into the crate, just pick her up and put her in. And then have a glass of wine.
> 
> ...


I JUST LOVE THIS *







AND IT IS SO TRUE*: I ALWAYS WANTED A GOLDEN RETRIEVER AND BULLIED MY HUSBAND INTO GETTING HENRY: And then in the first weeks I wished I hadn't. It is like having a baby - your whole life style changes - and then as with a baby you adapt and it starts falling into place. If you have children then you know that by the time they are grown you have told them the same things time and time again, so how to expect a puppy to do things you want immediately - it just takes time and PATIENCE, oh and redirect is the name of the game. And "times out" saved my nerves tremendously. Good luck and keep going, I am sad now that Henry is nearly 1 1/2 that I have forgotten so much of how he was as a puppy. I often look at the pictures to remind myself


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Today has been another tough day. It started out great, made sure we went outside every 2 hours for potty and exercise.. Then it all went bad again and I just want to cry. My husband is getting angry with me, because it's exactly the opposite reason we got her...I just don't know what to do. It gets so bad that I find myself shouting at her, and she still continues to do what she's doing and not stop. And shouting isnt what i want to do, but it escalates to that but nothing is working. We're only going into week 2 and I feel like we're still at day 1. Have I made a huge mistake? Are some people just not meant to have dogs?


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

pippi2j said:


> Today has been another tough day. It started out great, made sure we went outside every 2 hours for potty and exercise.. Then it all went bad again and I just want to cry. My husband is getting angry with me, because it's exactly the opposite reason we got her...I just don't know what to do. It gets so bad that I find myself shouting at her, and she still continues to do what she's doing and not stop. And shouting isnt what i want to do, but it escalates to that but nothing is working. We're only going into week 2 and I feel like we're still at day 1. Have I made a huge mistake? Are some people just not meant to have dogs?


Take a deep breath
Love her up
She won't remember that you yelled at her nearly as long as you will
I cried buckets of tears
And this is gonna sound really stupid - but it was an aha moment for me when I finally got it into my head that Max doesn't speak English. So all my talking and yelling was just some big creature making weird noises to him. If all else fails - try a time out. For you. Put her in her crate, go into the bathroom and cry. Then come back out and smile and be ready to start over..


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> Today has been another tough day. It started out great, made sure we went outside every 2 hours for potty and exercise.. Then it all went bad again and I just want to cry. My husband is getting angry with me, because it's exactly the opposite reason we got her...I just don't know what to do. It gets so bad that I find myself shouting at her, and she still continues to do what she's doing and not stop. And shouting isnt what i want to do, but it escalates to that but nothing is working. We're only going into week 2 and I feel like we're still at day 1. Have I made a huge mistake? Are some people just not meant to have dogs?


You didn't make a mistake. I LOVE to analyze and research. LOVE IT. But I also know that it can be dangerous to constantly operate that way (very stressful) and I have to remind myself to stop . . .I think you should allow yourself to take a break from wondering if you did something right or wrong. There is a parenting phrase that helps you get through the tough times:
*
Don't get mad, get the camera*

Meaning, eventually you'll look back and laugh, so snap pics of even the naughty things because these days will fly by. Don't analyze every moment, or feel like you failed, or feel like she failed. 

Those pictures you posted of Aayla are beautiful. 

I think you are putting a lot of pressure on both of you. If she pees on something, damages something, she is just being a puppy. Get her more toys. Teach her a trick. Let her in the yard for a bit.

RE: leaving her in the crate . . .it will hurt her less to be in a crate ignored for a bit vs. you yelling at her. When you feel like yelling at her, get some tasty treats (for both of you, haha) and put her in the crate. Then have that huge glass of wine. She really does need to learn to be away from you. It's better now than later because you can never be with her 24/7. It is not abusive or mean at all. 

You have to take care of yourself!

ETA: One more thing . . .if you take her out in public and get some of that socialization done, you will feel WAY better. She will get attention, and all of her instant, adoring fans will remind you why you wanted a puppy in the first place. But, you get to go home with her, snuggle with her, struggle with her  (simply because she is a pup), and become her BFF, and she'll be YOUR BFF (Best Furry Friend).


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

Zelda did a lot of time outs.  Oftentimes, she'd fall asleep during her time outs and I realized she was just tired. And like laprincessa said, she doesn't speak English. I yell at Zelda all the time. Sometimes I tell her I hate her in the happiest voice I can, and she just smiles and wags her tail at me. It's a fun game to say super mean things to them in a happy voice and watch how they enjoy the praise - it's also a good reminder that, except for a few words, they really don't know what you're saying. It also helps you to become conscious of your tone and body language. 

The crate is good. She will cry at first. Cover it up, and wait it out. She will survive. Remember: the crying sounds horrid, but eventually you'll learn the difference between 'I want attention' and 'I need to potty' or 'I'm being dramatic'.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

What if you gave yourself a set number of weeks, say four, work more with your trainer and decide to decide at that point? If she goes back to the breeder then she'll still find another home very quickly.

In your heart of hearts, do you really just want your old life back? Puppies are INTENSE. For many of us, it's worth it, but as dog-addicted as I am, it doesn't blind me to the reality that it can rearrange your life completely. The first year or two can be really tough with some dogs...and some humans.

Things I had to let go of in order to embrace being a dog owner:

1) being a perfectionist, not only for my dog's behavior but my own. Progress with dogs is rarely linear. It's two steps forward, seven steps back, twelve steps forward...and then they hit the teen months and it's a whole new challenge. 

2) wanting my nice things nice. Like my upholstery, my car, my shoes, my woodwork, my clothes, pretty much everything, really.

3) wanting to have a schedule that was based on my pre-pet life and not my dog's needs. 

I made those choices 26 years ago and still sign up over and over, dog after dog, because every mess, every dollar, every walk, every vet visit, every hello and ultimately, every wrenching goodbye...it's all worth it. 

But that's me and my life, not yours. Everyone has to weigh these choices realistically in the context of their own situation, personality, priorities, and family.

If your heart just isn't in it, far better to make the decision earlier than later for all of you.

I admire your honesty.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I've loved dogs my entire life; I love all animals in general, which is what makes this so frustrating. My husband and I don't have any kids, it was a decision we made a long time ago. I knew a puppy was going to be work...I didn't realize, that I was giving up everything. I'm chasing her around most of the day, that I find it to be a struggle, just to go to the mailbox. I don't know where that comes from. I'm anxious and terrified and almost always feel nauseous.. I still barely eat...I've lost almost 15 lbs this week. I don't have a crazy busy life, but i just didn't anticipate the way I'm feeling.

Is there a point that it does start to easier? I realize there's no hard and fast, but maybe if I have something to work towards.

My husband is traveling for work this weekend, and I'm terrified with how it'll go with just me and her.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Maybe approach this from another angle...what is your worst fear about taking care of her?
That you'll do it wrong or make a mistake? What do think would happen if you did?

I'm so very sorry you're experiencing this much stress. In my experience, when I am having an extreme stress reaction to something new, the stress usually has its roots in my past somewhere?
Sending you a hug...


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I'm worried that my lack of experience and knowledge, will prevent her from becoming a great dog. Every time she does something wrong, that's a reflection of me. I don't get mad when she potties in the house, that's my fault for missing the cue. I get really mad when I take her out, and she just runs crazy and I can't control her or calm her down. There's nothing to do but stand there and let it happen, because if I try to react, she thinks it's a game, and goes crazier, which just makes me more mad. No matter how much praise I give her for the awesome stuff she does, or how much I try to correct the bad, it just doesn't stick. And again, that's feels like a reflection of something I'm not teaching her. And I'm getting mad at her, for something that's my fault.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Honey? You've had her for a week???

To put this in relative terms, that's like sitting down with a human six-month-old infant and having a long, earnest heart to heart chat about the need to use the toilet, get a job, drive the car responsibly, and maybe do a little neurosurgery...and then expecting that baby to do all that today, or maybe tomorrow if it's getting late. 

First, puppy doesn't speak your language, so what she's hearing is bla bla bla, bla bla, yadda yadda. Incomprehensible and boring, when you're a baby and would rather be chewing something, thank you. They have zero attention span at this point. Zilch.

Second, she's a Golden and given a decent pedigree and a good breeder, they're really hard to mess up. 

Third, get thee to a puppy class so you can have some support and see that yes, this is what puppies do and she probably isn't the craziest by far.

Try to relax a little? It isn't a contest or an exam and no one is going to grade you or her.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

I often say, when people tell me what a great dog Max is (he's 7, by the way) that it's not because of me, it's in spite of me.

I remember how you're feeling - Max is my first dog, too. You've gotten really good advice here, please take a deep breath, have a glass of wine (or 6) and try to relax. We're all pulling for you.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Thank you all SO much. I'm feeling a lot calmer now, and realizing I'm over reacting. We just had a really fun play session with her, and I'm reminded that she is really great and she's learning, and she needs time too. You guys have been awesome. I really appreciate all you're kind words and advice.


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## Kirsten (Jun 18, 2013)

Hang in there! You have gotten some great advice on here and you really do need to try and relax. Just breathe. Give yourself a "time-out" if you are feeling frustrated. Your dog can sense this. But like others said, she is still such a baby. Things do get better!

My Murphy is a little over 1 year old and he has been quite the challenge! He is full of "piss and vinegar" and wants to test me all the time. I was so frustrated and stressed when he was a puppy, I look back and realize what a mistake that was. I wish I would of enjoyed his puppyhood more.

That being said.....Murphy is still crazy. Murphy is no where near perfect and may never be. I still get frustrated at times, but I always think of 10+ (hopefully more) years from now. When Murphy is old and gray- I know I will look back at these times and just wish he was running around being crazy again. It brings things in perspective for me.

I love this quote and I don't know who wrote it, but I have found it true for every dog I have owned...."You don't always get the dog you want, you get the dog you need".


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## golfgal (Dec 31, 2013)

You've only had her less than a week. Relax. Expect accidents between now and until they are between 13-17 weeks if you are lucky. Not because they don't know better but they're puppies, don't signal or you miss it. It happens, move on. I don't think any puppy is traumatized if they are accident free at 12wks or 17 weeks. 

You've replaced her mom and her littermates so she's going to want to spend all her time with you. You're the center of her world right now. It's exhausting, it's fun and it passes oh so quickly. She's also a crazy puppy with boundless energy who needs a schedule. Time to eat, time to play, time to relax. 

Try leashing her to you when you're working rather than running around the house going crazy. You'll know where she is, can interrupt the accident. Too much freedom, too soon can be overwhelming with the sights/smells. It's not the end of the world to put her in her crate for a nap during the day. More than once even. Puppies need lots of sleep also as that's when their brains/bodies grow. 

Breathe, lots of wine. Rinse and repeat. (You'd think we're all heavy drinkers the way we recommend wine, hmmmm)

You do have to decide if you can live with chewed up baseboards, kitchen cupboards (or other things), hair everywhere, dog beds that get destroyed, rugs that get chewed up, etc as that's life for the next 1.5 years if you're lucky. Check out teenage behavior thread. 

You're not a bad person if you decide that's more than you can handle. It's all about choices as Noreaster said and that's not a bad thing.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I'm 100% fine realizing that accidents happen, something might get chewed, and a coating of fur will be on almost everything. That stuff doesn't bother me at all - which is funny. During the day when I'm working, I keep her penned in the little hallway area outside of my office - she plays and naps - I wake her up every couple of hours to get her outside to play and potty. Should I be putting her in the crate more so she gets used to not always seeing me? - or still keep her near me so she knows I'm there? She's not allowed in the office, because it's the only room we cant puppy proof


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

I thought Zelda was a demon dog from 8 weeks until about 14-16 weeks. She spent SO much time crated because I just didn't know what to do with her or how to handle her. Now, at 11 months, I swear she is rock solid. She is laid back, sweet, gentle, and NONE of it is due to me.

I was so determined to prove to everyone that I could handle a puppy during nursing school, and it just made everything so frustrating. I'd get so mad at her for not being calm, and wished she could just be 2 years old already, not realizing just how much I'd miss my baby girl. Then one day, around 4-5 months old, I just woke up and she was an angel.

Then she turned 8 months old and I realized people weren't kidding about the teenage phase. 

It does end. You're both learning each others cues. One day you'll wake up, and she'll do something that used to drive you nuts, and the light bulb will click and you'll think 'OH. She does that because she wants attention' and you'll have her sit and then you'll play tug with her, and do it 10 more times, then the next time she wants attention she'll sit at your feet and smile at you. Then she'll do something that drives you even more nuts.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> During the day when I'm working, I keep her penned in the little hallway area outside of my office - she plays and naps - I wake her up every couple of hours to get her outside to play and potty. Should I be putting her in the crate more so she gets used to not always seeing me? - or still keep her near me so she knows I'm there? She's not allowed in the office, because it's the only room we cant puppy proof


Do what works for you. Many of us will recommend crate time, because it easier to keep them safe/in sight, but if you prefer that hallway, do that. I do recommend making a schedule. Mine with Z looked something like:

6:30A: wake up. Potty. Feed. 
6:45A: crate so I could shower and get ready for class.
7:45A: potty again. Play for 10 minutes.
8-12:30: crated while I'm in class.
12:30-1:30: freedom while I made lunch.
1:30: crated so we could eat lunch.
2-3: attempt to take a walk.
3-3:30: nap. 
3:30-4:30: train, play, potty, etc.
4:30-6: crated while I run errands, or go to the gym, etc.
6-7: potty, feed, freedom while I made supper.
7:30: crate while I eat supper.
8: play and potty. 
8:30/9: PUPPY BEDTIME! 

This was her schedule until she was about 4-5 months old. It was fantastic.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

So crate and just ignore the whines as long as I know she's gone potty right?


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Yup.

My puppy has been home just over 2 weeks. Potty training is really hard at our house, probably in part because our main floor is upstairs from the dog door. Regardless, i got sick last week. Wow I don't know how people with kids do it! Then I got even sicker. My husband was too busy with work to watch her. I said -fine, if she pees I will clean it up later. Sometimes you just have to let it go. She will learn, and the difficult memories will fade away. Take pictures!


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## Aiden's Mom (Aug 27, 2014)

Rkaymay said:


> Do what works for you. Many of us will recommend crate time, because it easier to keep them safe/in sight, but if you prefer that hallway, do that. I do recommend making a schedule. Mine with Z looked something like:
> 
> 6:30A: wake up. Potty. Feed.
> 6:45A: crate so I could shower and get ready for class.
> ...


Haha, yeah! I actually wrote Aiden's schedule down when he was little, too. It looked similar.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

pippi2j said:


> I'm worried that my lack of experience and knowledge, will prevent her from becoming a great dog. Every time she does something wrong, that's a reflection of me. I don't get mad when she potties in the house, that's my fault for missing the cue. I get really mad when I take her out, and she just runs crazy and I can't control her or calm her down. There's nothing to do but stand there and let it happen, because if I try to react, she thinks it's a game, and goes crazier, which just makes me more mad. No matter how much praise I give her for the awesome stuff she does, or how much I try to correct the bad, it just doesn't stick. And again, that's feels like a reflection of something I'm not teaching her. And I'm getting mad at her, for something that's my fault.


You've only had her A WEEK! Relax, DROP all your expectations of her and of yourself. It is absolutely impossible for her to know she is supposed to be going potty when you take her out, she is just a teeny tiny baby - she has only been with you a week, it is absolutely not possible for her to be house trained, it is not possible for her to know what you want, it is not possible for her to understand what you are saying to her. It is absolutely not possible for you to have taught her anything in just a week - and not possible for a puppy her age to actually have learned anything and have it stick. She does not have the mental ability, her brain is not developed enough to have the ability for that yet.

The comment that she doesn't understand english is 100% correct. She doesn't speak your language, so she doesn't have any idea what you are yelling. She will learn that too, be patient.

My goodness you have placed a load on yourself. There is no need, just enjoy her. Laugh at her puppiness, laugh at her zoomies and silliness in the yard, she is supposed to be running around being crazy, it's what puppies do! Have fun with her. Training will come over time and as she gets older and is capable of understanding and retaining what you teach her.

I love the idea of grabbing the camera instead of yelling at her. One day when she is 12 and you are watching her turn gray, you will look at those pictures of the first weeks and be tremendously glad you took the time to just enjoy her and let her be a baby.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

mylissyk said:


> You've only had her A WEEK! Relax, DROP all your expectations of her and of yourself. It is absolutely impossible for her to know she is supposed to be going potty when you take her out, she is just a teeny tiny baby - she has only been with you a week, it is absolutely not possible for her to be house trained, it is not possible for her to know what you want, it is not possible for her to understand what you are saying to her. It is absolutely not possible for you to have taught her anything in just a week - and not possible for a puppy her age to actually have learned anything and have it stick. She does not have the mental ability, her brain is not developed enough to have the ability for that yet.
> 
> The comment that she doesn't understand english is 100% correct. She doesn't speak your language, so she doesn't have any idea what you are yelling. She will learn that too, be patient.
> 
> ...



Not only is this perfect, it made me cry. 
I've been reading these posts and thinking back to when Max was a puppy - seems like a few weeks ago - and looking at the touch of white on his face now. It doesn't seem like it now, but you will miss these days. Now I gotta go snuggle Monster Boy.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Do you think if I just continue to keep putting her in the crate, that she will eventually just learn to deal with it? Right now, she only goes in there at night, and if I have to leave the house - I'm open to putting her in there more, I just feel like I'm torturing her because I'm forcing her in there, and trying to get the door closed, before she gets her head out. Would it be better to put her in the crate off and on during the day instead of the hallway so she adjusts better? - or is that just traumatizing her? I can deal with the whining and crying, but when she starts to bark for attention, that gets old quick.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Why not save a puzzle toy or a stuffed Kong for when you need to tuck her in? She will have something to occupy herself and she will learn to associate the crate with something really positive. My dogs _sprint_ for their crates when they hear, "let's go to work!" because they always get something special.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Noreaster said:


> Why not save a puzzle toy or a stuffed Kong for when you need to tuck her in? She will have something to occupy herself and she will learn to associate the crate with something really positive. My dogs _sprint_ for their crates when they hear, "let's go to work!" because they always get something special.


I have tried that, I'll get her in that way, then as soon as the door is closed, she cries. I've tried practicing with her a lot, giving her a cue word to go in, and giving her treats when she does, and praise and everything...but still, once I close that door, she's miserable. Or...am I just overthinking it?


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Let her cry it out. If she has something to occupy her, you know she's been fed and emptied and had some exercise, then she needs to learn to calm herself down. Don't go to her, don't talk...any response from you will just reinforce the crying behavior. 

You might want to give her a music cue...we have a classical station on our television that we always turn on when we leave so over time the dogs have learned that when they hear that music they will be taking a nap.

"Through a dog's ear" is a good calming album and you can get it on iTunes...it's listed under Lisa Spector.

ETA: In thinking more about this...when you say you've been practicing, does that mean she repeatedly goes in, eats her treat, and then comes right back out and then you do it again? Because the really smart ones pick up a patterm amazingly fast and if she has learned to expect that door to open again and another treat to be involved...my Aussie would have done that until she was too tired to stand up.

I probably missed it, but she can't be in the office with you in her crate? Sometimes when they can see you they relax more easily.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Rkaymay said:


> I do recommend making a schedule. Mine with Z looked something like:
> 
> 6:30A: wake up. Potty. Feed.
> 6:45A: crate so I could shower and get ready for class.
> ...


I do think I'm going to try this out - the only real schedule I have with her, is we're up around 6:45, when wakes me up to take her out for potty then we play for a little bit to burn off some of the early morning energy. She eats at 7, then a little more play time before I pen her up, and start working by 7:30. Lunch is at noon, and dinner at 6 and last out at 10:30, then bed time. That's it for schedule. I do think I should try to utilize the crate more rather then keeping her right outside my office all day. I do worry that she'll end up with separation anxiety - she starts crying anytime I walk away from her, even when she's not penned or crated.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

pippi2j said:


> I have tried that, I'll get her in that way, then as soon as the door is closed, she cries. I've tried practicing with her a lot, giving her a cue word to go in, and giving her treats when she does, and praise and everything...but still, once I close that door, she's miserable. Or...am I just overthinking it?


 I think you are letting her see that you are feeling bad about it. Just be all business. Pick her up, put her in, close the door. Don't try and convince her to go in, or offer her the opportunity to resist. Just say whatever you say, (I said "going in your house?") and just put her in. Eventually, in several weeks, when you say, "going in your house?" or "want to go in your house?" she'll know what you mean. But right now, she doesn't. But you have to be confident and just put her in. Say good girl! What a good girl. Lots of praise, you can even give a cookie through the slats. If she cries, you can just firmly but gently say, go to sleep. Just once. 

The crying is awful. Shala cried when she was first put in the crate. You have to stick it out (as long as they don't need to go out). As soon as you let her out for crying, she has learned that crying gets her free. 

Have you read any books about how puppies/dogs learn? That might help a bit if you learn how they read you and stuff. The book that helped me a lot was The Art of Raising a Puppy by the Monks of New Skete. Some of it is outdated (they recently published an updated version - get that one) and there is stuff about their German Shepherds that just didn't apply to Goldens. But their basic explanations and descriptions of how dogs learn was REALLY helpful to me. I read it before I brought home my first puppy 14 years ago - and I re-read it before I brought my puppy home 18 months ago.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I picked up about 6 different books, and I think that's what's caused most of my stresses - because everything the books say should happen, isn't. I have heard of that book, I think on one of the breeders' websites I was looking at, they had that listed as a good book. I checked barnes and noble when I was there, but they didn't have it. 

I have to stop making it such a big deal that she's going in the crate, and just do it.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I'm very much like you...I read and research so much that I am befuddled...in the end, every dog is different and what works for one won't necessarily work for another. What research does is at least give you lots of different things to try. A vet I worked for used to say, "your dog didn't read that book," which pretty much says it all!

I haven't read the New Skete book for some time, but if I recall correctly, they were advocating some pretty controversial physical corrections. I wouldn't try those... I don't think those work for anybody but very experienced handlers with certain kinds of super-confident dogs and can backfire easily. My personal rule is that if I had to use my hands on the dog to get my point across, no matter how non-violently, I need to up my training work.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

I'm curious. What are the books saying should happen that isn't happening? She sounds like a normal puppy to me.

Also, just remember you aren't going to break her. She's a baby, but she's not fragile. You have to put on your "tough love" costume sometimes. You know what's best for her, she doesn't. Just like with a human toddler, sometimes they don't want to do the boring things, but they don't have a choice.

On facebook I follow this trainer from Canada. She's very smart. The Naughty Dogge. Today she posted a little thing about teaching your dogs to work through stressful situations. Puppies who are never placed in stressful situations - mandatory cuddling, crate time when they don't want it, unpleasant procedures like nail trims - will become adults who don't know how to handle stress. It's not our job to protect them from everything hard, but to teach them how to work through it.


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## Henry's Mum (Nov 6, 2013)

pippi2j said:


> Do you think if I just continue to keep putting her in the crate, that she will eventually just learn to deal with it? Right now, she only goes in there at night, and if I have to leave the house - I'm open to putting her in there more, I just feel like I'm torturing her because I'm forcing her in there, and trying to get the door closed, before she gets her head out. Would it be better to put her in the crate off and on during the day instead of the hallway so she adjusts better? - or is that just traumatizing her? I can deal with the whining and crying, but when she starts to bark for attention, that gets old quick.


I'm from England so maybe it's different, but I never heard about crating one's dog. Henry had the run - apart from the bedroom - of the smallish only groundfloor house and garden (one of us was always with him, as we are retired). When he was tired he took himself to a favourite quiet spot in the house and crashed. If your puppy is calmer in your hall and is not creating mayhem there, why not use it as your "gated off" area? Why put yourself and the puppy to the stress of the crate if that is what is happening. Make it easy on yourself and do what works for the two of you. As long as she is safe and you feel comfortable. Try not to be perfect - no one is - we just try our best. Love your puppy and remember phases pass. This helped me when I had my children too*







*


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Rkaymay said:


> I'm curious. What are the books saying should happen that isn't happening? She sounds like a normal puppy to me.


It's the 'How To' stuff - 'Here's how to crate train your dog in a weekend', 'Here's how to potty train your dog in 7 days', 'This is how to get your pup sleeping soundly in 1 week' ....that stuff. When that stuff didn't work, I hit the internet to find other tips/tricks to try - it got to the point, where I had to much information and I was overloaded. There's all this really great stuff out there that's worked for "everyone", but not for me. I get that she's only 9 weeks old now, and she needs time - and eventually it will start to stick - I'm just being really hard on myself, and I have to figure out how to refocus. 

I actually just had a good talk with someone today, where she just let me cry and get it all out..and basically what it's coming down to, is I think I'm the one with separation anxiety - I'm afraid to leave her, and have her be alone - I don't go to the grocery store, I don't go to the pool store, I don't go to the mailbox, etc etc. all because I don't want her to be sad being by herself. She recommended that I try to leave the house for a couple hours everyday - go work out of a starbucks or something...that'll give me a break, it'll help her learn to be alone, and then when the puppy stuff happens, it won't bug me so much, because I wasn't dealing with it all day long. Eventually, I'll be able to bring the recycling out and not panic that she's by herself, and she wont stand by the door and cry until I come back from bringing the recycling out.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

Oh my. You really have put a toll on yourself. For a point of reference: Z wasn't potty trained until 6 months old (and I've helped raise at least 8 puppies in my lifetime - I know how to potty train). She just didn't feel like holding it for very long. She still doesn't. And it took 1-2 weeks before Zelda would hold it all night ("all night" being 9 pm to 6 am), BUT I often let get out before I went to bed at 1, so it was probably more like 5 weeks before she held it all night (I got her at 6 weeks though). I guarantee those tips that work for "everyone" probably only work for a small percent of the dog population, because every dog is different.

It's funny. It's totally acceptable to leave your puppy at home alone while you run errands, but not acceptable to leave a baby in the crib for the same reason.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Yea, it's funny - I keep telling myself that the crying and whining doesn't bother me - I never run to her when she cries, I always wait until she's done before go back to her. But I guess deep down it really does get to me, it makes me feel bad.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

pippi2j said:


> Yea, it's funny - I keep telling myself that the crying and whining doesn't bother me - I never run to her when she cries, I always wait until she's done before go back to her. But I guess deep down it really does get to me, it makes me feel bad.


MY husband has said many times that it's a good thing Max knew how to walk when we got him, or he wouldn't have learned till he was about 8 months old - I carried him everywhere. I never wanted to put him down. If I wasn't carrying him around, he was on my lap. It's perfectly normal, the way you're feeling. She's your baby. Max was, and still is, my baby. When we go somewhere, I rush my husband to get home because Max is alone. I know full well he's fine, but I hate leaving him alone. 

You'll be fine - you may always be overprotective, but there's nothing wrong with that. And your friend is right, you do need some time for yourself.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

This is a really good video, might be worth investing in or trying to find somewhere to check out of a library.

Amazon.com: Susan Garrett's Crate Games for Self-Control and Motivation: Susan Garrett: Movies & TV


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## PattyU (Aug 6, 2014)

I don't know if I can add anything else on the advice side, but I will echo the others in saying that it will get better. 

I, like you, read books, searched this forum and other online resources, spoke with owners, etc. before we brought Bodie home. I knew exactly what we had to do that first weekend to get him to love his crate, and start on the road to raising a happy, healthy, independent puppy. Then, we brought Bodie home and he wouldn't go into his crate, had an accident on the carpet, and put a hole in my pj pants in about a 20 minute period. I knew then that my "perfect plan" wouldn't work. But, even though I knew that, I had a hard time accepting it. It took weeks, and lots of tears, for me to figure out a schedule that works in our house, and even then its a flexible schedule. 

But, amidst those tears and frustrations, at about 10-11 weeks, Bodie began doing something that was so sweet and endearing that even now, when I threaten to take him to the shelter (in my happiest and most positive voice) because he won't stop biting or won't sit on command even though I know he knows how to and he's just being a little jerk, I know that I can't actually imagine him not being a part of our little family. When my husband or I squat, kinda with our legs apart, Bodie, no matter where he is in the room, walks over and sits right between our legs. We didn't teach him to do this, other than, I guess, by giving him attention when he does it. But, like I said, when I'm super frustrated with Bodie, I squat down and he comes and sits with me for a little belly rub/ear scratch and I know that he loves us, and we love him. Look for those little things that make you smile -- it will make all the maddening stuff a little easier to deal with.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Aayla will be 10 weeks tomorrow ...People have been telling me that I'll notice around 12 weeks, some of it starts to calm down and get a little easier. So, I'm just taking it day by day, and remembering that she's just a pup, and it'll all take time and to just relax. Everything she is doing, is normal and I shouldn't stress. 

Between yesterday and today, I've gotten her in the crate a few times, so I could run out to do stuff - and she cried, a lot...but I can't let that get to me; it's important for both of us, that there is a break. 

I anxiously await for her to sleep through the night; most nights aren't awful - last out at 10:30 - 11 and she starts whining around 6:30. Last night however, it was up at 3 and up at 5:45 and both times, she cried for over 30 minutes when I put her back into the crate.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

pippi2j said:


> Aayla will be 10 weeks tomorrow ...People have been telling me that I'll notice around 12 weeks, some of it starts to calm down and get a little easier. So, I'm just taking it day by day, and remembering that she's just a pup, and it'll all take time and to just relax. Everything she is doing, is normal and I shouldn't stress.
> 
> Between yesterday and today, I've gotten her in the crate a few times, so I could run out to do stuff - and she cried, a lot...but I can't let that get to me; it's important for both of us, that there is a break.
> 
> I anxiously await for her to sleep through the night; most nights aren't awful - last out at 10:30 - 11 and she starts whining around 6:30. Last night however, it was up at 3 and up at 5:45 and both times, she cried for over 30 minutes when I put her back into the crate.


do you cover the crate at night? That helped a lot to get Max to settle. Just a sheet over it, with air space on the bottom


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## Aiden's Mom (Aug 27, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> I anxiously await for her to sleep through the night; most nights aren't awful - last out at 10:30 - 11 and she starts whining around 6:30. Last night however, it was up at 3 and up at 5:45 and both times, she cried for over 30 minutes when I put her back into the crate.


Yes, this also varies from puppy to puppy. Aiden was up crying every night at least once to go potty. Thankfully he fell asleep quick once he was back in the crate. This lasted for almost 2 months. Then one night he went through the 8-9 hour night without a peep and has been since  He was 100% potty trained by about 5 months.

It might be a long while before she can make it through the night without a potty break. Oh, the joy of babies, puppy or human


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

laprincessa said:


> do you cover the crate at night? That helped a lot to get Max to settle. Just a sheet over it, with air space on the bottom


I have a dark blue blanket that I have over the whole crate, except for the front - I was never really sure, if I should completely block out her ability to see.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> I have a dark blue blanket that I have over the whole crate, except for the front - I was never really sure, if I should completely block out her ability to see.


I always covered the front and not the back. That way Zelda didn't know if I was awake or not. Even now that she's not in the crate at night anymore, she waits until I make eye contact to get up for the day.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

So the last few days have actually been pretty great. I got into a fight with my husband on Tuesday night and said some things I shouldn't have said and came out the wrong way and he got really mad at me. He went to bed angry, and I sat up and rethought about everything that had gone on in the past couple of weeks, and I think it finally clicked....she's just a puppy. 

I think I was having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle with all of a sudden having this extra responsibility, that I wasn't used to, and not as prepared for as I thought; It made me feel really selfish. I can no longer sleep in on the weekends, or even get a solid nights sleep in general. The morning routine is all different, from waking up and pressing start on the coffee pot to - wake up, take puppy out, get puppies breakfast ready and feed, start coffee pot, play with puppy, take puppy out. Who cares....some of that will all change once she's a little older - it just finally all clicked; the light bulb went off. My feelings of "ugh, I have to do this for 3 more weeks?! I can't do it!" to "Wow, she's almost 12 weeks already". 
I re-read all of the comments you guys gave me here and I just started to mellow out - everything that was stressing me out, just sort of faded away. I even got my appetite back, although being down 15lbs in 2 weeks was the most effective diet I've ever been on, haha. It just finally clicked - it took my husband being so angry with me, for me to actually stop and think about what was happening. 

I want to thank you all for helping me through all of this - I got a lot of really great advice and encouraging words that I greatly appreciate - I'm not sure I would have made it otherwise. Things still aren't 'perfect' with her, but it doesn't matter - she's only a puppy and we have time to work on those things. Now, if anyone has any advice on getting her to stop chewing the leash when I take her out, and to stop eating the grass, that I will also gladly accept, because that continues to drive me nuts, lol. <3


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

So glad to hear you're feeling better! Yes, she's a puppy, with all of the marvels and nightmares that go with it.

Pick your "battles." Grass chewing in small amounts? No big deal. Leash chewing? She'll outgrow that. 

You're doing fine.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

When does the biting/nipping stop? - I want to play with her and cuddle her, but she always just ends up biting at me. I can't seem to break her of it for more then 5 minutes.


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

This sounds strange but if you look at every problem as an opportunity, you shift your perspective.

For example, her biting and nipping are the way you teach bite inhibition. You want her to learn to have a soft mouth right now, not to not bite at all. She is inviting you to play. Playing = learning, just like it does with humans.

And yes, puppies, like babies, require a lifestyle change. (Cats do not!!!!) Like I said in an earlier post, it'seems better not to think too much about it. Just do it and focus on the positive. 

In parenting we say the days are long but the years are short. This is true X 1000 for dogs.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

I had this same sort of come to Jesus meeting with myself when Max was a puppy - it's a HUGE lifestyle change and something I was totally not prepared for. I'm really happy to see your post! Once you sort of adjust yourself, it does get better!


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

Tons of good info here. Puppy Bite Inhibition | Teach puppy not to bite Trying to get ready for our pup so I am reading it now!


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

pippi2j said:


> When does the biting/nipping stop? - I want to play with her and cuddle her, but she always just ends up biting at me. I can't seem to break her of it for more then 5 minutes.


Oh, my goodness! Just stop! You're just shifting your stress from one thing to another. You're driving yourself (and your husband, apparently) crazy, and it's not going to help your puppy, either.

Puppies bite! It's about the only thing they can do. And putting everything in the world in her mouth and biting is the only way she has of (1) learning about the world, (2) having fun, (3) releasing stress, (4) showing affection, and later (5) helping through her teething stage (at about 4-5 months old). Besides all that, Golden puppies are naturally mouthy. You may not be able to get her to stop. It may be a year before she stops. Or she may never stop entirely. 

You need to just chill out, girl. Your puppy is doing fine. She's a dog, not a human, and you need to let her be a dog. If you want a baby, have a baby. But your puppy is going to bite, and run, and test boundaries, and chew, and dig, and go through lots of doggy stages. You are raising a little wolf in a human home. Remember that she's a wolf.

Goodness, but you seem very tightly wound over this. Can't you just enjoy her?


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I agree 100% with what you said - I do need to chill. I can actually tolerate the nipping, usually I just give her a toy to replace my hand. I did try the suggestion about when it hurts, give sort of a load yelp to show it hurt, but that didn't really work with her. 
I do struggle with the leash chewing though only because it is a game for her, and then she's distracted by it, so she won't go potty; it becomes tug of war basically. I then have to make 6 trips outside till she finally remembers that she has to go.


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

Think like her. She's stuck inside, stuck inside, stuck inside. Oh, I get to go OUTSIDE! WOOHOO!!! Whoopee!!! Run, run, run, run, run. Bark, bark! Chase! Sniff, sniff, sniff! Chew, chew chew!!! Oh, this is so fun!! What fun!!!! Oh. I'm back in the house. Hm. Hey, you know, I have to go to the bathroom. Oh boy! We're outside again! Woohoo!!! Run, run, run, run!!!...

You get the idea. Think like your puppy. Then be smarter than your puppy. And chill the fadingo out. Are you generally wound so tight, or is it just with the puppy? Just relax. You're going to be dealing with ever changing challenges until she is grown up. Like this.










And this...










When you see this...get the camera.  These are two of my favorite photos of my (now adult) dogs.


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

At 12 weeks the biting and chewing is just getting started. It continues for a long time. For months, my hands and forearms were covered with bite marks and cuts from Max. One day, I noticed the cuts were gone. But it took a while. As DanaRuns said, accept that you have a puppy and relax and enjoy. The puppy experience is really a very short time out of your dog's life.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I'm actually usually a pretty laid back person...I'm usually the one telling people to calm down. I think just because it's all new to me, I over analyze and make it harder then it needs to be. Don't worry, I'll tuck my crazy away in a drawer and stop making it worse


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> I'm actually usually a pretty laid back person...I'm usually the one telling people to calm down. I think just because it's all new to me, I over analyze and make it harder then it needs to be. Don't worry, I'll tuck my crazy away in a drawer and stop making it worse


If there's a dog owner in the world who tries to tell you they haven't worried obsessively about their dog at some point they're delusional, have forgotten, or just never gave much of a rip. I've been a dogophiliac for a very long time and still find myself occasionally losing sleep trying to figure out what's going on with one of them.

This forum is a terrific resource and I hope you'll continue to feel comfortable asking for help.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

You said she's your first dog, right? Max is my first, too. He's 7 now and I can laugh at the number of times I called my husband, who's had several dogs in his lifetime, and said, "There's something wrong with Max!" only to have him tell me it was perfectly normal. (Honey, he shed another dog! Yes, Dear, that's normal.)

You're going to stress about stuff. You're going to worry about little things. And you're probably going to shed some tears. (the day that Max came flying in, covered with mud, and slid across the freshly mopped floor was epic) 

Take Dana Runs' advice and grab a camera. These memories will make you laugh down the road, and you'll miss that obnoxious, pain in the butt, adorable little puppy.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Noreaster said:


> *I haven't read the New Skete book for some time, but if I recall correctly, they were advocating some pretty controversial physical corrections. I wouldn't try those*... I don't think those work for anybody but very experienced handlers with certain kinds of super-confident dogs and can backfire easily. My personal rule is that if I had to use my hands on the dog to get my point across, no matter how non-violently, I need to up my training work.


This is true!! I forgot about that. They do a lot of grabbiong by the scruff of the neck. Because I entirely ignored that part, I forgot all about it!! :

But what it does help with is helping you understand how a puppy learns. That's what I loved the most and what helped me the most. Stuff like, getting down at their level. Calling with your arms open wide. Can't remember what else. So much made so much sense, though. 



pippi2j said:


> I think I was having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle with all of a sudden having this extra responsibility, that I wasn't used to, and not as prepared for as I thought; It made me feel really selfish. I can no longer sleep in on the weekends, or even get a solid nights sleep in general. The morning routine is all different, from waking up and pressing start on the coffee pot to - wake up, take puppy out, get puppies breakfast ready and feed, start coffee pot, play with puppy, take puppy out. Who cares....some of that will all change once she's a little older - it just finally all clicked; the light bulb went off.


This will not last forever. Right now, she's a brand new baby, but eventually, you'll be able to sleep in again, eat meals at normal times, and go back to your normal routine. I am trying to remember how long it took us. I stayed home from work the first four weeks Shala was home (summer vacation), and I know we were getting up early that entire time - but we also went back to bed. Anything before 7am, we went outside, and then back to bed. Whether it was 4am, 5:30am, 6:30am. I never fed Shala first thing in the morning (still don't), so getting up was not about getting food. Slowly, I moved our get-up time to 8am, which is my regular get-up time. But I know that we weren't there yet when I went back to work - we were still getting up at 7 or 7:30. So maybe somewhere around... 14-15 weeks old maybe, we started to get to 8am? Less and less often with earlier wake ups to go out. And a few months later, once she was sleeping on my bed at night (as of 5 months old), she slept as late as I slept. What she has learned is that, if I wake up, it doesn't mean we're getting up. I only ever got up when the radio came on, so she learned to associate the radio with getting up. Now, at 20 months old, she is laaaaazy, and doesn't get up right away even when the radio goes on, I get up, and am waiting by the front door! 



pippi2j said:


> When does the biting/nipping stop? - I want to play with her and cuddle her, but she always just ends up biting at me. I can't seem to break her of it for more then 5 minutes.


Use it, as Anele said, to teach bite inhibition. Let her bite, and when she bites too hard, yelp! Like a puppy! Yelp, loud, look hurt and turn away from your pup. That's what her siblings would do. Bite too hard? I won't play with you. She WILL learn, but not in a week. But she will in several months. Just keep doing it. 



DanaRuns said:


> Think like her. She's stuck inside, stuck inside, stuck inside. Oh, I get to go OUTSIDE! WOOHOO!!! Whoopee!!! Run, run, run, run, run. Bark, bark! Chase! Sniff, sniff, sniff! Chew, chew chew!!! Oh, this is so fun!! What fun!!!! Oh. I'm back in the house. Hm. Hey, you know, I have to go to the bathroom. Oh boy! We're outside again! Woohoo!!! Run, run, run, run!!!...
> 
> You get the idea. Think like your puppy.


I love this post. ^^^ It is bang on. And you have to learn to LOVE watching your pup have fun and discover new things. Yes, it might mean constantly saying drop it, and taking really gross stuff out of her mouth, but that's just part of her learning process. Grossest thing I ever pulled out of Shala's mouth? POO. Someone else's POO. (I didn't realize that's what she had grabbed til I pulled it out). But, whatever. Has to be done. It is SO fun watching them experience things for the first time - when there was a moving truck parked in our laneway when Shala was about 12 weeks old, it was so fun watching her figure out the ramp. She had a blast. Same when she decided she was big enough to do stairs. She was SO proud of herself. You only get those moments once. 

Shala went through a bratty biting the leash phase when she was about 9 months-12 months old. Drove me insane. She only did it at one specific time but it was EVERY time. She walked beautifully on the leash for long walks - but in the morning, on our first out, she would jump and grab and pull the leash. Why?? Who knows? I just kept on correcting her. And now, she doesn't do it except on a rare occasion. So I correct again. They are sort of like little 2-year-olds their whole life...  And thankfully, they stay JUST as cute as a little 2-year-old for their entire lives!


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

I thought I'd never sleep in again after Zelda. That was hard for to accept, because I LOVE sleeping until 10 - or later. Zelda's been letting me sleep in for a while now and waking me up at 930/10. But lately, she's been pushing it to 1030 or 11. We were up late last night, and today she let me sleep until 1145!  I can't make eye contact with her though or she'll lick my feet until I get up.

Zelda is a leash tugger. Always has been. We're at the point now where I can tell her to drop it and she will, but it took a long time to get there. If you put the leash on her and let her drag it, she'll pick it up, shake it, and then parade around with it trying to get someone to grab it. It's adorable.


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

I am LOVING this for when betty (12 wks) is super bitey! She can bite bite bite bite and it is all playing with me!

[ame]http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00HWV8WK0/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?qid=1421468501&sr=8-8&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&dpPl=1&dpID=41zdU0QWaYL&ref=plSrch[/ame]

The ears have tiny beanbags in them too so they swing around as I shake it and whap her excitingly!


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

lhowemt said:


> I am LOVING this for when betty (12 wks) is super bitey! She can bite bite bite bite and it is all playing with me!
> 
> Folkmanis Standing Lop Rabbit Hand Puppet:Amazon:Toys & Games
> 
> The ears have tiny beanbags in them too so they swing around as I shake it and whap her excitingly!



i want one of those!


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## Henry's Mum (Nov 6, 2013)

pippi2j said:


> When does the biting/nipping stop? - I want to play with her and cuddle her, but she always just ends up biting at me. I can't seem to break her of it for more then 5 minutes.


I can't quite remember when it stops, but I feel for you. I was really surprised about the land shark phase, I don't remember it beeing so bad with another puppy. I actually got so mad and frustrated by the constant biting. This forum really helped me there in saying it was quite usual and to redirect all the time. Henry loved ice cubes and carrot sticks helped. But he is so soft mouthed now, so it really does end when they get their adult teeth.


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## Loukia (Sep 20, 2014)

Comet was SUPER bite-y, and from all the reading I've done on this forum, he is not alone and neither are you. I found on older forum about biting and someone did a survey and noted that people most complained of biting at 16 weeks. Well, sure enough, I did notice that seemed to be when Comet's biting really peaked. He's 7 months now and he still bites, but it's SO much better than it was and he hasn't torn a hole in one of my pants in a few months. His bites also don't hurt as badly because he's learned bite inhibition, so he bites but no longer breaks my skin. 

At the 15 week mark I think Comet ruined 4 pairs of pants in 2 days... then I just started wearing my "hole pants" as soon as I got home, in an attempt not to lose any more. Hang in there, the biting will get better, but I'm still waiting for it to go away. And I know it won't be fully gone any time soon. That said, Comet finishes his last basic obedience class this week and starts the next level next week, and as he ages and we work on training, it really helps with managing the biting. If he gets biting me I make him sit and he generally listens now. It's usually just enough of a break to stop the biting and allow me to get a toy for him or change activities. But, he still has those moments where he goes outside, loses his mind, attacks the leash and doesn't listen. At this point all I can do is try not to laugh because we both look so ridiculous outside as he jumps and bites at the leash and I stand still and try to ignore him and stand my ground.

One thing I did notice when Comet was younger was that his biting was worst when he was really tired. If I put him in his crate he usually fell asleep.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Would it help if you could keep in mind that everything she is doing is all totally normal? Puppies are supposed to bite your hands, and grab the leash, and eat grass, twigs, dirt, dig holes, and pee in your house? 

The learn to replace those habits with others that you prefer, but it's all a long learning a process. 

I'm glad you are feeling better about things though! Grab the camera and take pictures of her biting the leash and eating grass!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

mylissyk said:


> *Would it help if you could keep in mind that everything she is doing is all totally normal?* Puppies are supposed to bite your hands, and grab the leash, and eat grass, twigs, dirt, dig holes, and pee in your house?
> 
> The learn to replace those habits with others that you prefer, but it's all a long learning a process.
> 
> I'm glad you are feeling better about things though! Grab the camera and take pictures of her biting the leash and eating grass!


It really is. I remember when I first got my last puppy, I was so scared I had a defective Golden! I didn't remember my childhood Golden puppy being so bitey and bratty! But my girl, Tesia, was SOOOOO bitey. My arms were a bloody mess for weeks and weeks. But we did a lot of redirecting to toys, and I taught her that she could only get love if she had a stuffed toy in her mouth. "Get a toy" was probably my most used command through her whole life. But she turned into the sweetest love of a dog - she was my heart and soul. Pure love and joy. It really is just an early puppy thing. 

Even my current dog, who is 20 months old, who was not at all bitey as a baby, still would take my hands and fingers in her mouth when she was teething, and I did let her gum me when her teeth were coming in. But she has not even thought about doing that since her adult teeth came in. Baby teeth start to fall out around 5 months old, and it gets way easier after that.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

Well, we're at 11 weeks now, and things have been a TON better. I've completely stopped crying and I'm taking things in stride. When she starts nipping, I make sure I always have a toy in reach, and pass that off instead. On some occasions though, when she gets a little to into it and she gets super snappy and bites harder, that's when I walk away. 

Stuff on the leash isn't much better, but I'm teaching her "Leave it" and when she does, she gets a treat. I'm pretty convinced though, she keeps putting the leash in her mouth and pulling now, because she'll get a treat when she stops, haha. 

Potty training is still in the works - she'll go to the back door when she has to go, but if we're not paying attention and miss it, then she has an accident - so that's totally on us. And sometimes, she'll go to the door, if she just wants some outdoor time, haha. 

Our concern with eating the grass is, 3 days after we got her home, she had really bad diarrhea and starting vomiting, so we took her to the ER and they said it could have been the grass or mulch that made her sick. She hasn't had normal poop since the day we brought her home, so we're just trying to get her well. When we picked her up from the breeder, she was on medication for Coccidia, because one of the pups in the litter had it; she was tested and it was negative, but we gave her the medication just in case. Then she had the diarrhea and was on meds for that and now she actually has Coccidia, so she just finished meds for that and we go back again in a couple of weeks to retest. I just feel if we keep her out of the grass, mulch and plants, that she'll get better quicker.


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## goldenenthusiast (Jul 28, 2014)

pippi2j said:


> Well, we're at 11 weeks now, and things have been a TON better. I've completely stopped crying and I'm taking things in stride. When she starts nipping, I make sure I always have a toy in reach, and pass that off instead. On some occasions though, when she gets a little to into it and she gets super snappy and bites harder, that's when I walk away.
> 
> Stuff on the leash isn't much better, but I'm teaching her "Leave it" and when she does, she gets a treat. I'm pretty convinced though, she keeps putting the leash in her mouth and pulling now, because she'll get a treat when she stops, haha.
> 
> ...


Sorry, your first post made me smile. It describes literally exactly how I felt. I lost 10 lbs in the first 2 weeks I brought home our new pup. I spent every day crying and convinced I made a mistake. I need 9 hours of sleep a day and will frequently sleep until 9 or 10 am. After the 5th consecutive 6 am wakeup, I thought that my life will never be the same again.

As for the poop, my puppy has always had kind of loose stool. Maybe try a probiotic? We did it for about 2 weeks and it seemed to improve a lot. Now that he's finished it, it's still better than before.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Have you tried mixing a little bit of pumpkin into her food? That might be enough to firm up her poos

And I'm really glad to hear that things are getting better.


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## pippi2j (Dec 29, 2014)

I haven't tried that. The vet is pretty positive it's the coccidia, so I'll wait it out a bit longer and see how it goes. I was mixing some white rice and low sodium chicken broth with her food, for a bland diet when it was really bad


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