# Ugh. Huge disappointment.



## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

After months of training and absolutely no reactivity from Remy, I was finally thinking we had made huge strides. I started giving him more privileges around the house and letting him interact, safely, with other dogs.

Then, tonight, our foster puppy was playing with him and he reacted. It seemed like it was meant to be a correction, but he went a little too far. Everyone is fine, but it scared me and totally frustrated me. 

I am just in tears. I love him so much that I can't stay mad at him. He is my heart dog. I know that the other dog was being a bit annoying, but ugh. 

I have other dogs around here constantly, and that means more time "put away" in the bedroom for Remy. Is he sad? No. But it makes ME sad to think that I have to cut back his interaction again, just when we had made huge process.

I'm mostly venting. I really don't want to hear about all of the things that I've done wrong, I'm sure there are plenty and I'm doing my best with him. I just need some supportive words from others with reactive dogs that it does get better, or at least that there are others out there who know how much it can suck to have a dog reactive dog. 

Thanks for lending an ear.

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## Heart O'Gold (Jul 31, 2012)

Sorry that you are dealing with this. I hope that things will improve. I wish I had some wise words to share. I'm sure Remy knows how much you love him and that powerful bond will help the two of you make progress with his issue. I hope today is a better day.


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## Lilliam (Apr 28, 2010)

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. I'm sure Remy will continue to improve. Pups can be such pests sometimes!!! 

Give him huge hugs, and hang in there. I'm sure this is just a temporary thing and not even a setback. Just a one-off.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

{{{{Ashley}}}} Remy is an awesome dog. Celebrate all of your successes. Don't be discouraged. I know it is hard not to be but look at all you to have together. Your bond of love. The best of us have set backs. Celebrate each success and shake off those moments where you guys have a set back. 

Your an awesome dog trainer. Evaluate the incident and you will figure out how to manage or prevent it from happening again in that context. Remember each time the context is different so that will change things up. 

I truly believe that Remy is the reason you are as good as you are. He is in your life for a reason imo.  


You go girl!!!!


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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

Ya know.... If he meant it as a correction then maybe this was/is your chance to help him learn how to correct better. Every single incident is a chance for both of you to learn and him to improve. One small hiccup isn't a total regression so keep your head up and realize you've already came a mountain, a single slip back doesn't put you at square one  good luck

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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I can definitely related to the frustrations of having a reactive dog. It sounds like you are doing quite a bit to work through it with him, and that's more than most people would do. Try not to be too hard on yourself, some days will always be better than others.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Did he hurt the foster or break the skin at all? Or did he just send the pup off screaming? I don't know the age of the pup, but young dogs can be drama queens. It helps show the older dog that the message has been received and doesn't need to be escalated.

Not to excuse Remy's behavior or anything, but unless he broke the skin or chased after the puppy in order to make it a fight, it may not have actually been over the top.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

He didn't break the skin but it was over the top. Puppy is definitely a drama queen, though, so it did make the situation worse in my mind.  

Edit to add: I watch Caira correct puppies, she gives one snap in the air or one little correction on the neck and it is done. No broken skin, no prolonged correction. Remy stopped because I yelled his name, not because he was going to stop. He didn't break the skin but probably would have if I wasn't monitoring. Puppy was a drama queen and screamed and screamed, and luckily no one was hurt, but it was definitely over the top.

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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

I know the saying goes that you get the dog you need and not the one you "want". Thanks for being so encouraging. I think the biggest issue is that it's a huge blow to my pride. I can train dogs to do all sorts of stuff, and I have been very successful when working with other aggressive and reactive dogs, but I just can't seem to figure out my OWN guy. How embarrassing. 

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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

ashleylp said:


> He didn't break the skin but it was over the top. Puppy is definitely a drama queen, though, so it did make the situation worse in my mind.


So it was a bite and hold or multiple bites? Those would definitely not be a typical correction for a puppy.


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## coaraujo (Nov 2, 2012)

I just wanted to let you know that youre not alone. My Bernie reacts when he gets nervous/anxious, usually with scary objects and other dogs, but occasionally if his brother plays too rough he'll react. Its different in my house because theyre both 18 months so theres not much of a size difference. When things escalate we distract with a loud noise and pull them apart and give them the settle command. They both give a shake and then tails are wagging as if nothing ever happened. Its obviously different in every household, but youre not alone - happens in mine too.

Best,
Courtney

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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

tippykayak said:


> So it was a bite and hold or multiple bites? Those would definitely not be a typical correction for a puppy.


I'm not sure if he bit multiple times but it lasted longer than a correction and only stopped because I yelled his name. Luckily, I was standing right there and was able to get his attention very quickly, so it didn't escalate that far. But I don't doubt that had I not been there, it would have been much worse.

I definitely am always there watching his interactions with other dogs. It's been months and months and many dogs since he has had a negative reaction.

Remy was laying on the ground and they were playing before he reacted. Puppy climbed onto his side/back and I think that is why he reacted. These things happen so fast... I wish I could film it and slow it down to see what exactly happened.

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## AngieAvenue (Mar 17, 2013)

It will get better. He has an owner who is willing to put in the work and that is more special than anything. Focus on the little victories and stay the course. 

I had never heard that saying with respect to dogs "You get the one you need, not the one you want." I love that  I ofter wonder how I ended up with my rockstar 99% of the time, surprise resource guarding, goofy dog... and in the last ten months, I've learned to be more patient than in my whole lifetime. 

He'll get there, you can do it


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

ashleylp said:


> I know the saying goes that you get the dog you need and not the one you "want". Thanks for being so encouraging. I think the biggest issue is that it's a huge blow to my pride. I can train dogs to do all sorts of stuff, and I have been very successful when working with other aggressive and reactive dogs, but I just can't seem to figure out my OWN guy. How embarrassing.
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


You have made progress with him, he did stop when you called him, and he didn't hurt the puppy, so try to think positive. I think you hit the nail on the head, sometimes we can't fix our own dogs! Have you ever had another trainer evaluate him and give you a plan to work with him? Maybe you should, another set of knowledgeable eyes may give you a lot of things to works with.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

Thanks guys, I really needed that encouragement 

I think what I've figured out over the course of Remy's journey is that he is a vigilante who doesn't know how to be a hero. If a dog is respectful and well mannered, omg he is great. He plays fair, is submissive, etc. But if the dog is at ALL rude or a jerk, he makes it his mission to teach that dog a lesson. Humping? No way. Dominant displays? Nuh uh. Jumping on his back? Don't think so. 

However, I do find it so strange that his sister and him can play so rough... Sometimes it sounds terrible but it is all play. She is a malinois, and she plays like a malinois.... Very dominant and alpha bitch... But he takes it all in stride. Not to jinx it, but they have never ever fought. Ever.

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## Loisiana (Jul 29, 2009)

I have one that is reactive towards puppies. It took me awhile to come to the realization that is who Conner is, and instead of trying to change him I finally had to acknowledge that my job is to not ever put him in a situation where he thinks he needs to react. Because it is when I start to have a little trust in him and let my guard down that he'll snap and go after a puppy.

So instead of focusing on him, I started putting my focus on any puppy in the house. My new job is to teach puppy to ignore Conner and give him plenty of space. New pups to the house wear a leash 100% of the time they are in the same room as Conner and anything beyond a from-behind butt sniff results in puppy being moved away. Sure, there's times when Conner is acting super friendly towards Phoenix (4 months) these days and I want to let them play, but history has shown me it's better not to try it, and instead let Conner gain confidence in knowing he doesn't need to take care of issues himself.

Anyway, that's my story.


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

My rescue dog Chumlee is also dog reactive, probably due to poor socialization when he was young. I had never owned a reactive dog prior to him. I have found a lot a good information in a yahoo group called "aggressive behavior in dogs" which is a bunch of professional and hobby dog trainers who help with suggestions on how to best work with reactive dogs.

The trainers also get advice from each other on some of their toughest cases. You may already be aware of this group, but here is the link:

*groups*.*yahoo*.com/*group*/agbeh/‎

Sounds like Remy has made great strides so try to keep it in perspective.


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## GinnyinPA (Oct 31, 2010)

Actually, you may have made progress just by stopping the interaction when you did. You let him know the behavior was unacceptable, and he stopped. The fact that he listened to you is good progress. 

I do understand how frustrating it can be to see regression. Ben is a wonderful boy 95% of the time. But every once in a while, he'll act up in a way that makes me despair completely. It's always a surprise, because most of the time he is so good.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

I didn't know about that group so thanks! Always willing to learn more. I've talked with a few other trainers and got a consult with one of the top aggression trainers in my area. I didn't at ALL agree with her "diagnosis" and didnt agree with her methods. I haven't spoken with any other trainers since then but we are searching for someone now. 

My mom keeps saying I need to get rid of him. I just can't. I love him so much. I could never, ever rehome him. 

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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

Who can stay mad at this?!

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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

ashleylp said:


> I didn't know about that group so thanks! Always willing to learn more. I've talked with a few other trainers and got a consult with one of the top aggression trainers in my area. I didn't at ALL agree with her "diagnosis" and didnt agree with her methods. I haven't spoken with any other trainers since then but we are searching for someone now.
> 
> My mom keeps saying I need to get rid of him. I just can't. I love him so much. I could never, ever rehome him.
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


With a previous dog that had fear aggression, I had tried trainers, but it wasn't until I went to a behaviorist that I understood what was going on with my dog and how to fix it.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

Okay, we are going to search for a behaviorist. Also going to run a thyroid panel and send it to Dr. Dodds. He has random limping, trouble gaining weight, and this moodiness. My vet disagrees that it could be thyroid but a lot of what I have read says differently. 

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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

I'm sorry. You must be having a hard time processing it all. 


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## kath00 (Dec 3, 2013)

So sorry about the stress and disappointment. I don't have words of wisdom but I know you are doing your best and you should keep at it. Like a petulant teenager, I think you sometimes just want to throw in the towel and walk away but you know deep down that you can't.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

Well, another day, another chance for growth. I'm allowing Remy near the other dogs under very very strict supervision, and only with a muzzle on. He hates the muzzle but that's just something he needs to deal with. He seems totally fine, loose body language, even trying to play. I am happy, in a weird way, that it seems to have been a correction gone wrong and not an outright attack. He used to be much worse, so that gives me some relief. 

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