# Our puppy is afraid of us



## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

Welcome to the forum. Would love to see some pictures of your pup. I really don't have any advice for you but do agree that she doesn't sound like a 17 week old pup I've seen before. I can tell you that female dogs do tend to be less clingy than the males.


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## Bock (Jun 23, 2008)

I wouldn't give her up after only 1 month of owning her.

Since your vet has seen her you can pretty much rule out any health issues. While most Golden pups do seem to be pretty people oriented, that does not mean all goldens must be. She is still quite young. Please give her time before you just give her up.


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## Traz (Jan 19, 2009)

Socialization is important. Are there places you can take her to meet people? Is she afraid of the car? Invite people over, but not make a big fuss over her so as to scare her. Have you tried hand feeding her some of her food? Sometimes that helps with bonding to you.

Welcome, we love pictures if you would like to share.


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## marshab1 (Aug 28, 2006)

My Tinkerbell was like that at times when she was that at age. Though it was not all the time. And now at almost 3 years old. We can be hard pressed to sit without her in our laps.

She may just need a little more time to get used to your home. Maybe her experiences with the breeder and her kids was not always positive. which means you would also have to gain her trust. Often times it could take just one bad experience with achils to make her leery of others, it can be overcome but will take a little time.


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## Celeigh (Nov 29, 2007)

One thing you can do to bond her to you is feed her from your hand rather than giving her a bowl to eat out of. It's a great bonding exercise and it's easy to do. Also, have you started training with her? That can also be a good bonding experience. Since she seems to be more comfortable with the dog rather than with her humans, I would go out of my way to make sure she has positive activities planned with humans only rather than having her bond solely with the dog.

Edit: Sorry Traz - I missed your hand feeding suggestion!! So, er, what Traz said.


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## momof3 (Mar 15, 2009)

*Thanks*

we started puppy class the weekend after we got her. She is very smart and all the others get a kick out of how mellow she is. Get this she layed down in the cart at petsmart and fell asleep. She layed down in the tub when we gave her a bath, it's crazy.
In between posts I have been getting on the floor playing with her and she seems to enjoy it. Could she just be a very lazy dog???? Maybe I should count my blessings LOL


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## momof3 (Mar 15, 2009)

I know it hasn't been that long and we won't give her up without working with her more. It's just so odd and it is hard to bond with a dog that is so skittish. It just makes you feel that way sometimes


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## marshab1 (Aug 28, 2006)

Puppies sleep a lot. Tinkerbell fell asleep in puppy also. In fact we were told not to play with our puppies for at least an hour before class so that we didn't tire them out before class even started. And since my class was in the evening, We often had puppies that were very tired towards the end of class,


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

She is so cute. Things will more than likely fall in place anbd before you know it you will be wshing she slept a littl more!


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## momof3 (Mar 15, 2009)

Thank you, I will keep trying. It is just very frustrating. I have had pups before but never one like this. Now it is as if she knows I am "talking" about her. She is laying by my feet chewing up her pig ear, appears to be happy as can be.


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## Bock (Jun 23, 2008)

Good deal! Like others have said, I'm sure she'll come around and probably be more loving than you could ever want!


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

She sure is a cute puppy. Im sorry she is acting like that, it will just take time, love her and you will gain her trust and love, Im sure of it!


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## Bender (Dec 30, 2008)

She may just be a mellow dog, nothing wrong with that. I would suggest making sure she spends more time with you than with the other dog. If she's crate trained, put the crate next to your bed so she has the nights near you as well. You could also try keeping her on leash and loop the leash around your waist so she's 'stuck' with you and can't go off on her own to sleep. Have lots of treats for her and give her praise as you go from room to room with her. She might also do well with doggie massage, just spoil her with it. 

Storee is my two year old, and she was never mellow (rare times now she is but she's still pretty busy). She was very independant as a young dog, I had a hard time restraining her for anything as she would just struggle the whole time. But now she's become very sweet and looks to me more. Your dog might just take time, but if you take your time with her she should be fine.

She's very cute!

Lana


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

What Lana said is very important! 
When you bring home a new puppy, it's quite normal for them to bond with the other dog(s) in the house more than they do with you. In fact, if you plan to obedience train your dogs for serious competition, some trainers will tell you to keep them completely away from the other dogs for several weeks until they have had a chance to bond with you. 
I'd keep her mostly away from your other dog for the next 30 days and see if that doesn't help. And yes, as Lana said, keep her near you so that she learns that all good things come from you. 
My Tito was (and still is) mellow like that. He's fallen asleep sitting up any number of times. Just a different personality, and most of the time I'm pretty glad he's like that! Puppies pretty much have 2 speeds...ON and OFF. Growing is hard work, and a lot of puppies spend a lot of time sleeping.
As far as her being hand shy, some puppies just are. Try not ever reaching at her from above if possible. That's seen by dogs as dominance and some will shy away from it. If you watch dogs establishing pecking order, you will see them putting their heads and/or feet on each other's shoulders or heads. Instead, if you can, try to approach her with your hand heading toward her chest instead until she learn to trust you. 
She's adorable, give her some time. Remember, you've just yanked her away from the only things she's ever known: her mother, her littermates, her breeder, her routine, etc. It can take a while for some of them to make the transition, while others make it instantly.





Bender said:


> She may just be a mellow dog, nothing wrong with that. I would suggest making sure she spends more time with you than with the other dog. If she's crate trained, put the crate next to your bed so she has the nights near you as well.
> Lana


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## clairer (Dec 27, 2008)

she is adorable.. give her time feed her by hand and give her lots of praise... she will come around.. it may take some time but it will happen.. Humans are all new to her..
good luck and be patient...


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

I really recommend clicker training in this case because it is so much fun for the dog to learn that way. Once she associates the clicker with yummy treats, just click her whenever she comes to you or click her while you bet her. It's a really good way to communicate with her exactly what you like& want.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

She's adorable! My first thought was keeping her on the end of the leash so she has an open invitation to spend more time with you.


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## Bailey & Charlies Mom (Jan 27, 2009)

First off, what a cutie! My Bailey was very shy and kept to herself when I brought her home too. I'll never forget the look of fear on her face when the breeder gave her to me. As soon as I got her home I spent alot of time on the floor with her just talking to her and playing with her toys. I also hand feed her for a few weeks. I took her everywhere to meet new people. She came around slowly and became a very outgoing and loving adult dog. Some just need more time than others. Best of luck


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

It could be that she is mellow, but it could also be that she really missed out on socialization with people.

A lot of what you are describing (falling asleep in the shopping cart, acting really mellow in class) could actually be her shutting down because she is so overwhelmed. I have had several foster puppies who acted that way, and the one I have now is an extreme case.

I disagree with keeping her away from your other dog. A puppy that is undersocialized take a lot of their cues from other dogs. You need to make sure that you give your dog a lot of love and affection in front of the puppy, make being around you the best thing in the whole world for your other dog. The puppy will follow. See how the puppy reacts when you take her to the petstore when you have your dog with you. I think you will see that she is braver and won't go to sleep to keep the bad things away. 

I take my foster puppy to work with me a couple of times a week. Fortunately, the majority of my coworkers are dog lovers and will come to my office to give him treats. When I bring Jasper along with the puppy, the puppy will actually approach my coworkers because Jasper does.


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

Lucky was an excessive play-biter (we couldn't touch him), chewed anything within reach and was in general destructive. But he didnt seem particularly "people-loving" and didn't even like to be petted or cuddled. I tell ya...he didn't seem like a "normal' puppy to me either. 

Lucky didn't have a fenced yard to run in so he was always on leash. Any interaction had to be with us. We had no dogs to play with. I think if he had a dog to run around with...he would have been much more calm and tired.

His personality really did change with maturity...he's the classic lovable, huggable, people loving dog now. He was about 7 or 8 months when I started to see changes. Don't know how "normal" that is...but he sure is my lovie, dovie now.

In my opinion, I think a month is just too short of time to really acertain your pups personality. 

She sure is adorable!!!!!


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## bwoz (Jul 12, 2007)

She's adorable. I had a very fearful shepherd pup and I know how frustrating it can be. I'd suggest tethering her to you and just go on with your normal activities in the house. Crate her when you go out. Hand feed her meals and give her yummy treats. And just do what you're doing, love her and be kind and gentle. You ruled out the health part, so she just may be very shy. You could ask the advice of positive based trainers if possible. Good luck to you and keep us posted.


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