# Please help me save my dog, best friend and dear family member



## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Hello all,

My golden retriever Calvin (or Cal as we usually call him) has had a troubling history of disease and is at present fighting his biggest threat yet. I humbly ask that you help me with any information, anecdotes, or advice. 

We are working diligently with his vet to to figure out what is wrong with him and then cure him. All we have been told his condition is very serious. Below I have included a summary of the information we have gathered at present. Calvin is a soon to be 9 year old male neutered Golden Retriever weighing approximately 75 pounds. 

I thank you sincerely for any and all feedback. 

*HISTORY:* Calvin has been eating progressively less and becoming less tolerant of exercise for approximately the past 3 months. For the past 4 days Calvin has not eaten anything except for a bite of steak yesterday and has been very lethargic and panting much more than normal. He also had an episode of diarrhea yesterday. His drinking is normal. Approximately 2 years ago Calvin had a tumor surgically removed from his neck, but you are unsure what kind of tumor it was. 

*DIAGNOSTIC TESTS*:


*Abdominal Radiographs (2 view): *The spleen is markedly enlarged with highly irregular margin. There is a raised mass on the ventral aspect of the liver. Official report is pending.
*Thoracic Radiographs (3 view): *There are multiple, distinct soft tissue opacities around the base of the heart that may represent enlarged lymph nodes. The pulmonary vasculature is subjectively small suggesting hypovolemia (low blood volume). Official report is pending.
*Complete Blood Count*
Anemia
Decreased platelet count

*Serum Chemistry Panel*
Decreased protein levels
Elevated total bilirubin

*Coagulation Times (PT/PTT)*
*PT: *13 sec (normal)
*PTT: *high, out of range (possible laboratory error, cannot rule out true abnormality without sending out an additional test)

*Urinalysis: *(pending)
 
*PROBLEMS (DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSES)*:


*Enlarged, irregular spleen, possible liver mass, enlarged lymph nodes in chest: *the most likely cause of these masses is cancer. The type of cancer cannot be determined based on X-rays, but two of the most common are lymphoma (a cancer of the white blood cells) and hemangiosarcoma (a cancer of the blood vessel cells); less likely causes are benign masses or infection/abscessation
*Pale mucous membranes and anemia: *possible causes include blood loss (internal bleeding), red blood cell destruction, decreased red blood cell production due to bone marrow disease or kidney disease
*Low platelet count: *possible causes include increased consumption due to bleeding or decreased production due to bone marrow disease such as cancer
*Low proteins: *consistent with liver dysfunction
*Elevated total bilirubin & icterus: *possible causes include red blood cell destruction, liver disease, gall bladder obstruction/rupture
*Lethargy, inappetance: *non-specific sing of systemic illness
*Nodule near anus: *possible causes include benign growth or cancer
*Diarrhea: *possible causes include dietary indiscretion or systemic disease (such as cancer)


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## K9-Design (Jan 18, 2009)

So sorry about your situation.
My best friend is a veterinarian. She has a great quote to live (and diagnose) by, which is, "when you hear hoofbeats look for horses, not zebras." 9 year old male golden with all of those symptoms, you have to assume hemangiosarcoma, which unfortunately is incurable. It is the #1 killer of goldens.
You have two options, continue treatment through your veterinarian or consult an oncologist or vet school. Unfortunately with hemangio, nothing seems to significantly prolong life. It is not particularly responsive to chemotherapy.
Keep us updated. Give Calvin a hug.


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## Doodle (Apr 6, 2009)

I am so sorry you are facing this with Calvin. I am not a vet, but my first thought was hemolytic anemia secondary to some process (likely cancer) going on with the liver/spleen. Working with your vet/oncologist is the way to go!!!


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I am so sorry for Cal's dire situation. Please know we will be sending prayers and good thoughts for you both. Work with your vet and do what is best for your buddy. Plese keep us posted.


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## Tahnee GR (Aug 26, 2006)

I am so sorry to hear about Ca. My first thought was hemangiosarcoma, given his age and breed. I truly hope it is something else, more easily treated.

Please let us know how Cal does. My thoughts will be with you and Cal.


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## 3459 (Dec 27, 2007)

I'm so sorry you and Cal are going through this. Good thoughts going out to you and Cal and wishes for a good prognosis. Please keep us updated. You will find many here who have spent time in similar foxholes and understand what you are feeling. Golden hugs to you and Cal.


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## Duke's Momma (Mar 1, 2007)

I'm so sorry - I can't even imagine what you're going through. It must be so painful for you. Duke has been on the brink of death several times in his 8 1/2 years and God has healed him every time.

We will be praying for you and your dear Cal.


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## timberwolf (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear what Cal and you are going through.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Keep us updated on his diagnosis.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

My first thought is the same as Tahnee's. My thoughts and prayers are with you both as you search your heart and soul for an answer.


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## AnnieVA (Aug 6, 2009)

I too am dreadfully sorry to see your posting! Gosh, it's so ironic! Here I am on this Forum biding time waiting for my Vet to return this mornings call as I have some more questions to ask him about Lady Antonia's Lymphoma.

Anyhow, my heart is breaking for you. Been there and will sadly go through the same thing again.

Keep Calvin comfortable and don't let him know how upset you are, though I know that's so hard to do. One thing he might like is some Vanilla Icecream. I know that sounds daft but I did a Home Visit last year for Rescue. The folks I interviewed went through the same thing and the only thing the woofer would touch was vanilla icecream.

Best. You and Calvin are in my thoughts and prayers.

AnnieVA


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

Meggie survived her lymphoma. Be sure to talk with Meggie'sMom.


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## Bob Dylan (Mar 31, 2009)

Oh my, it seems like Cal has hemangiosarcoma. I'm not a vet but we lost our Bobby 12/31/08 to that horrible disease, we made the decision to have him PTS, which was so hard to do but he was in very critical condition and he could barely lift his head.

Many Prayers for you and Cal.


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## artbuc (Apr 12, 2009)

Yes, sounds painfully familiar - hemangiosarcoma. I truly hope I am wrong. If it is, please don't let him linger because it can be a painful, horrible way to go. Hemangio usually takes dogs quickly. In fact, it is called the "silent killer" because dogs often die before they present symptoms. I lost Buster last year to this ugly disease - he was 8 1/2 and the best friend I ever had. I slept with him on our living room floor for his last 4 days. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have waited that long. Unfortunately, the first 3 vets at the emergency clinic on Friday misdiagnosed thinking he had a spinal problem and we had to wait until Tues to see a neurologist. He went down quickly on Tues afternoon and we put him down at 9:30pm.


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## Sucker For Gold (Jan 13, 2009)

First of all, welcome to the forum. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances, but many of us here have through what you are experiencing.

I have to agree with everyones thoughts thus far. I could not find anything in your information which allowed me to rule out either AIHA or Heamngio. 

However I think there was one particular statement made that speaks volumes:



K9-Design said:


> "when you hear hoofbeats look for horses, not zebras." (in a) 9 year old male golden with all of those symptoms, you have to assume hemangiosarcoma, which unfortunately is incurable. It is the #1 killer of goldens.


When you look at the likelihood of either disease, Hemangio (BY FAR) is probably what you are looking at.

We have lost our last 2 dogs to hemangio. 9 1/2 years ago we lost a shepherd/husky mix to it at 12 years old. In January we lost our 9 year old golden to it.

Unfortunately Hemangiosarcoma is a VERY aggressive cancer of the blood. It metastasizes very quickly and normally by the time you find it, you will find it throughout the body. The most usual places you first see it are the spleen, heart, and liver. 

That being said, I caution you on quickly throwing in the towel. While you can not irradicate the cancer, there are some things that can be done to give you additional *QUALITY *time with Cal if you are indeed dealing with Hemangio. Prednisone may be a short term miracle drug for you. It may slow the progression of the disease and give you back the Cal you had prior to the symptoms you are seeing. It would certainly give you a few more weeks and it's possible that it could buy you a few months. 

For us it bought an additional month. We had good days and bad. On the good days you would never have known that Rusty was sick. 

Please keep us updated and know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of all of us.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I am so sorry that your baby s going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with Cal and you all. My heart breaks for you. xxoo


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I have no advice, just good thoughts and prayers. It is a heartbreaking situation. Please keep us posted.
You might want to visit www.landofpuregold.com for some insights and help.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Hello everyone,

Thank you for your kind words and wishes. I'd been waiting to write an update after Cal's appointment later today but I'm so touched by what's been written here that I wanted to say thank you. I'm deeply appreciative and will take all your advice and well wishes to heart. 

I've been typing a million different versions of this response because I have so much I want to say and share, but I think it is best to stay concise until more is known. All I can say is that Cal the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will stay strong for his sake. And I will do everything and anything possible to help Calvin, including sending him the love and support that's been shared on this forum.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Vet has recommended we let Calvin go. Unfortunately we do not know what kind of cancer it is. He has told us that taking that step would require an ultra-sound and a biopsy, of which the latter would greatly discomfort Cal. As many were able to tell he has cancer which has spread all over his body. 

I asked the doctor about prednisone -- he told me it was something he considered but could potentially make Calvin worse depending on the kind of cancer it is. Still, we are considering that option. It's very difficult to make a decision with incomplete information, but our number one concern is to make Calvin as comfortable as possible. Thanks again to everyone, and again all feedback is greatly appreciated.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

Please know that you and Cal are being thought of...


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

I hate to say this, but Cal's symptoms resemble Gage's. Sadly, he had untreatable hemangiosarcoma. I hope I'm wrong about Cal.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

CalPep, I am so very sorry that your Cal has the dreaded cancer. Most of the vets I've ever used in serious medical situations say they will never let a dog die without getting some prednisone on board, even if it's only to give the owner a few more days with their pet while keeping the dog comfortable. No matter what you decide about timing and prednisone, you've only got Calvin's best interests at heart, so it will be the right decision. You might try either jarred baby food or scrambled eggs to tempt his appetite. If his gums are already pale, he may be bleeding internally, in which case, he won't have an appetite. Please give your boy some smooches from me, and let him know he will be embraced by a lovely pack of angel pups when he leaves for his next adventure....


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## New Golden Mom (Dec 17, 2008)

I'm so sorry...cancer is such a horrible thing and as you are finding out from posts has claimed the lives of many of our friends. We've lost two dogs to the nightmare that is cancer and whenever someone posts about going through it with their beloved dogs I re-live it all again. I'm sorry you are facing this with Cal. I wish you strength as you face the difficult road ahead.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

If there is a chance this is AIHA as someone had mentioned, this is the definitive site to explain what you're dealing with and treatment protocols. However, if there are masses involved, I don't know if the AIHA would be a product of a malignancy .....
http://www.cloudnet.com/~jdickson/ If they could dx him with AIHA and rule out any type of cancer, there IS hope. My Cody (springer) is a survivor. It needs a vet well versed in the disease and treatment options, and aggressive treatment.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

so very sorry you and Cal have to face this...


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I am so sorry you and Cal are going through this. I wish there was an easy answer, but there just never is.


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

I have lost two dogs to AIHA, so I do have some experience, and will share it with you. My Aiyanas work up looked much like Cal's. She did not have a mass on her spleen, but it was irregular. My Vet is a very no nonsense old school type guy, he could not see putting her thru an ultra sound, surgery etc.(she was 12) He felt the spleen was irregular because she was experiencing bloody diahrrea and vomiting, brought on by meloxicam (the AIHA itself probably brought on by a reaction to her yearly vaccinations). He put her on prednisone, and we had two more quality months with our sweet girl.

Another Vet we often use insists that when there are AIHA type findings in an older dog there usually is some type of cancer that is difficult to find.

I will keep you and Cal in my prayers.

blessings,

Julie


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## NapaValleyGolden (Mar 24, 2008)

My heart goes out to you and Cal. We lost our beautiful Jake, 10yrs. old, in December from hemangiosarcoma. As other have said here it is very fast-one day Jake was fine and then he wasn't. 

Take care of yourself and Cal during this very difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

Whatever the diagnosis just know you have alot of people here that care about you and Cal right now. Please let us know what the vet says.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

I will save more for later, but you all have my heartfelt thanks thanks. The current situation is as follows: our vet is a very kind older man, and he also cannot see putting Cal through a biopsy. The reason being is that they would need to surgically remove a sample or use a large needle to obtain it. Either method according to him would be very difficult for our dear Cal. 

He is also against using prednisone, citing a lack of knowledge about the type of cancer. He says depending on the type of cancer, the prednisone could end up hurting Cal even more. I've been told that they also believe he has multiple types of cancer, which is even more reason not to use the prednisone and just put Cal to rest.

I am personally in favor of using the Prednisone, and based on what has been said on this board I would like to know for certain what is wrong with Cal. However our vet is against further work, and I don't want to be selfish and put him through any additional suffering. We will be having another discussion with him today and will bring up the possibility of AIHA that was raised a couple times in this thread.

Thank you all again for your love and support. I will update as often as I can.


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## Hudson (May 18, 2005)

Reading through this thread, I am sorry you and Cal are battling this dreaded disease, I also lost my 1st golden to cancer, I cared for him by giving him small portions of food rather than 2 meals a day.He had part of his bowel removed and then another 10 months with us, I loved and told him how special he was every single day but unfortunately the cancer returned and his symptons returned. In the end I chose to say goodbye and not let him suffer,because I loved him. Prayers to your boy as you are faced with helping Cal, trust in your love and listen to your heart.Hugs to Cal.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I'm so sorry you and Cal are going through this. I lost my last Golden to liver cancer - type unknown but with knowledge gained from this forum it was probably hemagio. Once he showed symptoms, it was very quick (6 days).
I think you could try the prednisone and we will all pray for you to have some more quality


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

oops- fingers went too fast and I posted before I finished.
We would all pray for more quality time for you and Cal. If you do keep Cal at home you should ask for a shot of acepromazine just in case things get really bad and your vet isn't available. Of course, maybe you are one of the lucky ones who have a vet who is more available......
It hurts so much to lose our friends, but they bring us such love and joy while they are here that I always get another pretty soon after. Just my way of handling the grief.
You and cal are in my thoughts and prayers. I too joined the forum in a desperate search for help with a health issue. there is a lot of love and support here and I'm sure we are all sending it your way.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Everyone,

I'm sorry for not replying sooner, it's been very difficult for me to even think about this forum. Calvin's condition deteriorated very rapidly, and after several visits and discussions with his vet he was peacefully laid to rest. 

That is all I can write for now, my family has been devastated by his loss and it is all too difficult. I thank you all for sharing your experiences, advice and sympathy, I will never forget the support this board has provided.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I'm so very sorry to hear this. Know that we will be here if you want to vent, share stories... whatever. Most of us have walked this path and know the heartache and pain. However, that special love and friendship.... that way of just BEING is an immeasurable gift... one to treasure always. In time, many of us have decided to, certainly not replace our friend, but to honor them by getting a new pupper to share life with. Prayers and thoughts to you and your family, and to Cal..... godspeed buddy, play hard at the bridge.


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## 3459 (Dec 27, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss of Cal. I'm glad you let us know what happened. Losing one of these beloved companions is devastating. When I read your first post, my heart dropped because it sounded so much like the experience when we lost our first golden. I still am not able to write about her leaving us. Anytime you feel like talking about Cal, you will find listening ears here. Or if it helps you to read and enjoy the love others share for these amazing creatures, just read. This is one place everyone understands what's it like to belong to a golden retriever. I hope one day soon all your memories of Cal will be sweet.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. We are all here for you, come back whenever you would like. Sending you thoughts and prayers. xxoo


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## NuttinButGoldens (Jan 10, 2009)

Yeah, I wanted to say it, but didn't know how to 

But we are not vets. Make sure they rule everything in or out as appropriate.

Give him a big hug for me, and I wish you both well.




K9-Design said:


> So sorry about your situation.
> My best friend is a veterinarian. She has a great quote to live (and diagnose) by, which is, "when you hear hoofbeats look for horses, not zebras." 9 year old male golden with all of those symptoms, you have to assume hemangiosarcoma, which unfortunately is incurable. It is the #1 killer of goldens.
> You have two options, continue treatment through your veterinarian or consult an oncologist or vet school. Unfortunately with hemangio, nothing seems to significantly prolong life. It is not particularly responsive to chemotherapy.
> Keep us updated. Give Calvin a hug.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounded much like my last golden boy who I lost to liver cancer.
I hope your memories soon begin to give you peace and joy instead of heartache. It's very hard to deal with, but I'm glad you and Cal had a great life together. golden hugs coming your way.


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## wagondog (Aug 24, 2007)

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and of course with Cal. They know they are safest in the arms that love them the most.
Run Free.... Cal


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear about your boy. We're all here for you.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear of the loss Calvin. Godspeed Calvin.

You and your family are in my thoughts


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Calvin. Time will help you remember just the good times. Sometimes it helps to posts some stories and pictures of him when you are up to it.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Calvin*

RIP, Dear Calvin-You are at peace now and he will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. You gave him a gift by letting him go-it shows how much you loved him.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm sorry to hear that no more could be done for Calvin. It can help to talk and share, and this forum is a great place for it. If you feel it might help you, you can share pictures and stories of Cal, and you'll have some devoted readers.


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## NuttinButGoldens (Jan 10, 2009)

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Let it comfort you that you did the best, most compassionate thing you could do for your pal. He's now at the Bridge, free of pain, waiting for you. He has my Rusty, Nikita, Podo, Comet and Dakota to play with, as well as many other fur-babies from those of us on the forum.

He's off on his new adventure 



CalPep said:


> Everyone,
> 
> I'm sorry for not replying sooner, it's been very difficult for me to even think about this forum. Calvin's condition deteriorated very rapidly, and after several visits and discussions with his vet he was peacefully laid to rest.
> 
> That is all I can write for now, my family has been devastated by his loss and it is all too difficult. I thank you all for sharing your experiences, advice and sympathy, I will never forget the support this board has provided.


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## Bob-N-Tash (Feb 24, 2008)

I am so very sorry. After reading your first posting I wanted to say something hopeful but I also wante to be truthful and I didn't know how to put my feelings into words that would comfort you. And then I jumped to the last page... Sigh. There it is. What a week you and Callvin have had. 

Many of us have shared the experience of losing a 'best friend and family member'. Share your grief.. let us help carry your burden. Over time you will discover that it is a little lighter and easier to bear. 

As always, in memory of your Calvin, today I will give some extra time and attention to my pair.... so, even though we just got out of the pool, maybe they would enjoy a short walk before dinner.


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## Ambesi (Jul 16, 2009)

I'm so very sorry for your loss! I know this is such a hard time for you and your family. I'm sending up a prayer for you all. You did everything you could and he was loved and cherished. What a lucky dog he was and what a lucky family you are for having had him in your lives.


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## NapaValleyGolden (Mar 24, 2008)

I'm so sorry about Calvin, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Rest in peace, Calvin.


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## Meggie'sMom (Dec 24, 2007)

So sorry to hear of Calvin's passing.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss of Cal. Know that he loved you very much and you gave him the greatest gift you could. You set him free of his pain. They love us so unconditionally that when we lose them it hurts that much more. May your memories and the love you shared help your pain during this sad time. Most of us have been in your shoes and know the pain. When you are feeling up to it we would love to hear more about him, or if you want to cry or rant, we are here for you.

Run Free Sweet Cal.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Hello everyone,

Thank you for all the kind, thoughtful words. It is very clear to me that our pets share certain qualities with their owners. In the case of this board and our wonderful golden retrievers, it is that we love unconditionally, care for others and provide assurance and support whenever it is needed. I am very grateful. 

I will begin to acquaint myself with this forum - as one of you alluded to it will be a slow process for me as my family and I struggle to get over his loss. Hearing the stories of your lost loved ones saddens for I now know all the pain disease, illness and loss has caused for this wonderful breed. Still we are the lucky ones, for we did not suffer as they did, and our lives were blessed with their presence. For that I am thankful, as I'm sure all of you are. 

In the case of Calvin, I feel especially bad because of his unlucky history of disease. Not more than two years ago he was struck by a horrible malignant tumor that was found to be cancerous. The tumor sat on his neck and eventually swelled to the size of a softball. Our Cal was already small for his breed, so the tumor almost gave the appearance of having two heads. The poor guy had no idea what was going on and was just confused, banging into walls without meaning to, having his sense of balance distorted, etc. 

Fortunately we were able to have the tumor removed after a long but successful surgery. But even then the recovery process was long, and Cal was left with a large scar and several staples (which were later removed) where the tumor had been. He was under constant observation and restricted in his activities for some time. I know this kind of illness is common among our beloved friends, but I just feel so bad that he had to go through not one but two difficult trials in his short life. I wanted to share this because his story is just one example of how brave and just amazing these dogs are. The fact that Calvin and his brothers live life with so much love and joy despite these difficulties is a testament that and is very inspiring. 

Thank you all again for helping me and my family through this. I hope to write again soon and share some pictures.


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

I am so sorry that you lost Cal. I wish I had something profound to say but I know you are raw with pain right now. If you feel up to it at some point we would love to see pictures of Cal.


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## Fozzybear (Feb 27, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## jlc's mom (Dec 21, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Run free sweet Cal.


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the happy memories you have will help you through this difficult time.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Hello, 

It has been awhile but I have not forgotten about this forum and wanted to share a couple of pictures with you all. I am at work so I'm afraid I only have a couple I can share for now.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Oh, he was so beautiful. You had a wonderful buddy. Hopefully the memories are starting to bring smiles to your face as you remember him as he was.


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## mybuddy (Mar 2, 2007)

He was so very beautiful. I am just so sorry for your loss. You really sound like such a wonder parent and loved him very much.


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## LuckyPup (Sep 9, 2009)

Calpep,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I had a beagle and we went through a similiar situation. It was so hard for me our whole family. Please know that you are in our families thoughts and prayers.


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## Bob-N-Tash (Feb 24, 2008)

What a handsome little fellow Calvin was. Sorry for your loss


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

Cal was a beautiful boy. Rest well, dear fellow.


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## Bob Dylan (Mar 31, 2009)

My what a beauty you had, hang on to all the memories you had together.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Oh what a sweetie! I love those pictures of Cal. Especially with his paw raised and carrying that stick.
I am so sorry you lost him and know how heart breaking it is. I hope it gets easier to remember the good times with a smile and the tears lessen. As hard as it is to lose them, their love and companionship makes it worthwhile.


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## Tahnee GR (Aug 26, 2006)

Wow-was he a pretty dog! I love the picture with him carrying the stick.

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## CalPep (Aug 10, 2009)

Thank you for all the nice comments! You are all very sweet

I think we're now at the point where we can look at our neighbors and their dogs without being overwhelmed, though it still is hard. I can't help but smile now whenever I see a young pup (especially golden retrievers) with their family and appreciate their beauty and vivacity. 

There is one thing though...I have one last video I took of Calvin shortly before he passed...I haven't dared to take a look because I know it will just destroy me, but at the same time it is so valuable that I don't want to squander it...I've even forgotten the contents but I don't know if I should watch it now or save it. 

Gosh i'm sorry for carrying this on for so long! But I just want everyone to know that this forum has helped me soo much and i'm very grateful for being able to smile again


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

Cal was a beautiful dog. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Noey (Feb 26, 2009)

thank you for loving Cal so much. I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Cal was a gorgeous boy. I am so very sorry. We have lost three goldens over thirty six years and it is horribly painful but I wouldn't have not had them in exchange for the pain. (if that makes sense)
They fill our lives with so much joy and unconditional love, I can't imagine my life without a golden. 
God bless you.


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## jealous1 (Dec 7, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. It's trite, but time does heal. Please don't throw away the video--put it somewhere safe for a time when you can view. Years ago, I developed some pictures that I had no idea what was on them. When they came, there were pictures of my very first dog that I had lost the previous year. Bittersweet but I treasure those pictures.


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## sunshinesmom (Sep 24, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Cal. I love the red boys. I also discovered this forum after receiving a devastating lymphoma diagnosis with Riley (he lost his battle March 2009 and was only 7 years old). This forum has been so incredible with the support, compassion and kinship I've received. I've also learned quite a bit and it's just really nice to correspond with other Golden lovers.
When my Riley died, a wonderful person here (Meggie's mom) encouraged me to write him letters in the Rainbow Bridge forum here. What a comfort that has been. So many wonderful people read the letters I write to my Riley and they leave us such uplifting comments and it means so much.
Please stay in touch with the GRF, maybe start a thread for Cal in the Rainbow Bridge. Hopefully someday you'll share the wonderful news of a new Golden in your life. Believe me - we all love to hear about things like that.
Please take care.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

My heartfelt sympathies for your loss. He was lovely. And obviously well loved.


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## timberwolf (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss.
Know that you did the best that you could for him.
You are in our thoughts and prayers at this hard time.


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## Hudson (May 18, 2005)

So sorry for your loss. Thankyou for sharing his life and pictures of your beautiful boy. He was very much loved,and in time hope you are able to smile as you remember your Calvin.


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## NapaValleyGolden (Mar 24, 2008)

Calvin was a beautiful boy, I am very sorry for your loss.


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