# Heartbroken without Sandie



## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

It's nearly been two months since I lost Sandie to lymphoma. She was the most wonderful friend in the entire world! It's an honour to be able to say that for 8 years she was my very best friend. I'm getting impatient waiting for when this will get any easier. I'm completely lost without her and feel all the joy and happiness in my life has just disappeared. She taught me how to laugh and smile, before her I was a shy nervous 10 year old kid and as we grew up together she gave me so much love and confidence. We're getting a new puppy in early July although I'm worried about how this will make me feel. If I become wonderful friends with her then is that disrespectful to Sandie? I don't know what to do with my life right now, it's so unbearable without her and I feel the best days of my life are well and truly over with Sandie no longer being here  
Everyday I question if there was anything else I should've done to help her with her battle with cancer, I can't stop wondering if I let her down some how. This guilt and sadness is consuming my life and I don't know what to do


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Sandie. She was a beautiful girl and held a very special place in your heart. 

Try to not to feel guilty or question yourself if you did enough to help her or for her. 
Cancer is awful disease, many of us members have lost our Goldens to Cancer. 

I don't think getting a puppy will be disrespectful to Sandie at all. 

Each Golden is very special and unique in their own way and they bring something very special to your life. 

I lost my Bridge boy three years ago at the age of 15.5, He had Cancer. Because of him I will always a have at least one Golden in my life. 

I don't think Sandie would want to see you sad and so unhappy. 

I hope this new pup fills your life with love, joy, and much laughter. 

Sandie will always be with you, her memories will always be a part of you and she's watching over you. 

Godspeed sweet girl.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I'm so sorry, sweetie, that you're going through this. The first loss is the hardest one, because it's all new and you don't know that you will actually get through it. All of the feelings you are having are absolutely normal and you just need to breathe, be gentle with yourself, and let time pass.

Treat yourself as Sandie would have. I like to think that part of my dogs stays with me when they go, so ask your inner Sandie for a little help.

I completely understand your conflict about the new puppy. I can tell you that I've never been sorry when I got another dog after a loss--it's a distraction and distraction always helps and it's a reminder that in dog world, every day is a brand new, wonderful thing and they don't let the past change any part of that.

I promise you that many more "best days of your life" are still ahead of you.

Sending you a hug...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Laura*



LauraWatson said:


> It's nearly been two months since I lost Sandie to lymphoma. She was the most wonderful friend in the entire world! It's an honour to be able to say that for 8 years she was my very best friend. I'm getting impatient waiting for when this will get any easier. I'm completely lost without her and feel all the joy and happiness in my life has just disappeared. She taught me how to laugh and smile, before her I was a shy nervous 10 year old kid and as we grew up together she gave me so much love and confidence. We're getting a new puppy in early July although I'm worried about how this will make me feel. If I become wonderful friends with her then is that disrespectful to Sandie? I don't know what to do with my life right now, it's so unbearable without her and I feel the best days of my life are well and truly over with Sandie no longer being here
> Everyday I question if there was anything else I should've done to help her with her battle with cancer, I can't stop wondering if I let her down some how. This guilt and sadness is consuming my life and I don't know what to do


Oh, My God, Laura, my heart is breaking for you!! I think it's safe to say that so many of us can relate to what you are feeling! The only way my hubby and I have ever been able to deal with the loss of one of our beloved dogs is by getting or adopting another. They never replace one another, but they bring the joy and love back into our lives. It is not at all disrespectful to the dog you loved, but it is honoring them to get another, because you loved them so much. We, too, questioned what more we could have done, but realized the main thing is that we didn't prolong our dogs suffering and were there at the end as the vet euthanized them. We are here for you, so please keep posting. Please email me the date and year you lost Sandie and I will add her to the Bridge List. What a beautiful girl-my Smooch and Snobear will keep her company!! Karen [email protected]


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## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

Thank you all so much for your kind messages, I'm so grateful for them. It's comforting to know other people have felt like this and managed to get through which gives me hope that I'll be able too as well  I know Sandie would hate to see me like this so I need to stay strong and positive because it's what she would have wanted. In my heart I know in some way she's still here with me although I just can't see her and I'd like to think that when we get this new puppy Sandie will be watching over her 
I honestly don't know what I'd do without this Forum and all the wonderful people on it!


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## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

Karen519 said:


> Please email me the date and year you lost Sandie and I will add her to the Bridge List. What a beautiful girl-my Smooch and Snobear will keep her company!! Karen [email protected]


Thank you Karen  luckily Sandie was already added to the list just after I lost her. It's really comforting to know Smooch and Snobear will be keeping her company on the bridge.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Laura*



LauraWatson said:


> Thank you Karen  luckily Sandie was already added to the list just after I lost her. It's really comforting to know Smooch and Snobear will be keeping her company on the bridge.





LauraWatson said:


> Thank you all so much for your kind messages, I'm so grateful for them. It's comforting to know other people have felt like this and managed to get through which gives me hope that I'll be able too as well  I know Sandie would hate to see me like this so I need to stay strong and positive because it's what she would have wanted. In my heart I know in some way she's still here with me although I just can't see her and I'd like to think that when we get this new puppy Sandie will be watching over her
> I honestly don't know what I'd do without this Forum and all the wonderful people on it!


Laura: Believe me we can relate to how you are feeling and this forum helps all of us deal with our sweet babies loss. I am sure Sandie will be smiling at you and the new puppy, and SANDIE would want you to be HAPPY!!


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

Laura, losing a pup is so hard,we never have them long enough! I am sure Sandie would want you to share your heart with another pup. So many of us understand, I lost both of my old gold to cancer recently and my heart is broken too... Sleep softly pretty girl!


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## mddolson (Jul 10, 2012)

Laura, 
Give yourself some time.
It is hard to loose a close friend you've grown up with.
We lost our Emma to cancer two years ago , & we regret that we couldn't save her to. 
Feeling sadness & grief for her loss is normal, but you shouldn't feel guilt. 
Take heart in knowing she had a good loving & happy life with you. 
Remember those times.
Don't feel you're being disrespectful to Sandie, because you're getting a new puppy soon.
There is a void in your life right now. 
No dog will replace Sandie in your heart, nor should it. But a new friend will also bring happiness, challenges & new experiences in your life. 
Once you had time to heal, there will be times when your new dog will act, or play in familiar way that will trigger fond memories, of Sandie. So in this way they keep our memories of our dear friends close to us.

Mike D


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## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

Losing a great dog like this is never easy. Some of the pain will always remain, but it will get easier with time. The pain that remains can be a good thing because it reminds you of the amazing friendship you had with a wonderful dog. 

Getting another puppy is not disrespectful to Sandie. A new puppy is not a replacement for your lost friend, it's a new friend to fill another part of your heart.


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

Laura, I'm so very sorry to hear that you lost your beautiful Sandie. A new pup will never replace Sandie, but will help to fill the hole in your life that you feel. Don't feel guilty about loving a new pup. I'm sure Sandi will lend a guiding paw to help you pick just the right pup for you.

{hugs}
brianne


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## wjane (Oct 12, 2013)

Your Sandie was a beautiful girl. I can imagine the pain you are feeling. Just remember that you will always have her in your heart. I will always have a special place in my heart for my first Golden, Molly. Don't be hard on yourself and try not to feel quilty when the new puppy comes. I'm sure that Sandie will be watching over you both.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

Hi Laura,
So sorry for your loss of Sandie, so many of us here know exactly how you are feeling. It hurts so bad to lose a golden best friend  they really are so special. Sometimes these things can happen so quickly and there was nothing more you could have done for your girl. It sounds like she was a very special girl who was loved so much. She will always live on in your heart and memories and she will be proud of you for loving another golden. You've definitely come to the right place on this forum, I don't know what I'd have done without it after losing my first golden. Take care.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss. A few months after Allie went to the bridge I got Mia and she has helped me heal. I will always miss my sweet Allie Bean but Mia has wiggled her way into my broken heart. She can never replace Allie but she gives me so much joy that I would be missing without her. Hugs


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## FAL guy (Jun 11, 2012)

I am very sorry for the loss of your Sandie. What a beautiful girl. As far as when it will get easier. It takes time. I lost Red in September, and not a day goes by that I don't think of him a hundred times and shed some tears. But eventually, laughter and smiles are finding room between the tears as I remember the love Red spread to everyone he touched, the silly tricks he loved performing for his Mom and I at treat time, and the sound of him snoring. I pray you soon find peace in the precious memories of your wonderful Sandie.


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## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

Thank you all so much for your kind words, I really do appreciate it and what you have said has made me feel so much better!  
We visited the breeder yesterday to decide which girl we'll be getting in July, I felt as though Sandie was there helping me decide which was pretty difficult because they were all so cute! This has reassured me that Sandie would want us to have a new dog in our lives and I'd like to think that she'll be watching over her. 

This is the one we have chosen!


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

She is a cutie pie. It really helped me when I got Mia after the loss of Allie Bean. We can never replace the ones we lost and loved but we can love again. Sandie and Allie would want us to open our lives and hearts to another. Congratulations on finding your pup.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

She's darling and I'm so glad you've found another girl to love. 

Sandie would approve! Sending you a hug.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sandoe*



LauraWatson said:


> Thank you all so much for your kind words, I really do appreciate it and what you have said has made me feel so much better!
> We visited the breeder yesterday to decide which girl we'll be getting in July, I felt as though Sandie was there helping me decide which was pretty difficult because they were all so cute! This has reassured me that Sandie would want us to have a new dog in our lives and I'd like to think that she'll be watching over her.
> 
> This is the one we have chosen!


I'm sure Sandie helped you choose and she'll be watching over BOTH of you. She is so darling! What is her name and when are you getting her!!??!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

She's adorable, I hope she helps your heart heal and brings you years of love, joy, and laughter.


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## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

What a cutie, I am sure Sandie is watching over you with a big smile on her face!


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## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

Thank you all for your kind messages. I do apologise for not being on this forum for so long! Our beautiful puppy's name is Dallas and oh my god she is a handful! Right now she's 5 months and at that crazy puppy stage. 

There was a time I couldn't possibly imagine loving another dog as much as what I did Sandie. I had doubts that I would end up somehow resenting a new puppy, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

I really want to thank you all for encouraging me to keep going and move on, not from Sandie but move on WITH Sandie. It was so heartbreaking losing her that I almost forgot she will stay with me forever! Anytime I want to talk to her she will be there, I know that in my heart. 

Dallas has brought a new element to my life. Her character is entirely different from Sandie's but just as unique and wonderful! I honestly can't describe just how much joy she has brought to my life!!! Everyday she gives me a reason to laugh and smile! 

I'm so thankful for the support I have received on this website. I really don't know what I would've done without it. In times of weakness and complete desperation I've come on here and your comments have made me feel so much better!

I'd just like to say to anyone else reading this who has lost a best friend as so many of us have, I know right now it seems impossible, but I do promise, with time, and with knowing the love you shared with your companion NEVER dies, stay strong. And somehow, even though right now it seems so unlikely, the pain does ease - that's not to say it goes away, but you learn to accept it. Always remember the good times out weigh the bad, and if you get upset thinking about the beautiful friend you've lost then also think about a time he/she made you laugh, it helps. For every sad thought there's a happy one that can beat it! And I'm sure this is how your companion would want to be remembered.

I have no doubt in my mind that I now continue to walk through life with Sandie and I'm convinced that she somehow guides me and gives me strength. 
And at the same time I have Dallas who wags her tail when she sees me in the morning and runs round the garden insane when I get home for uni! 
It has taken time and a lot of patience but I feel now I'm finally able to move on with my life with both my dogs in my heart. â¤ï¸


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## Lbisuz (Aug 13, 2014)

Coming from one broken heart to another...I understand where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Rest assured, when your new pup comes, the love is there ready to be released again. I lost my heart dog 10 weeks ago and as of four days ago, have a new Golden boy (rescue) who right now is sleeping on my feet. 

I like to believe Chunk sent this boy to me because he knew I needed a Golden to love. Does this mean my broken heart is mended, no, not completely, but it is better. I can laugh at Captain's antics and smile at his similarities *and* differences. Each Golden gives us something new to learn, except for the one universal truth...

They only know how to love us and teach us that love never quits. Their only hope is to make us smile and spend as much time as possible soaking that love up as well as they do.

Your Sandie is up there with Chunky and so many other Golden heart dogs, rooting for us every day. So for now, smile through your tears and when the time comes...show another Golden that they are loved for as long as we have them.


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## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

I am so glad to read that Dallas has found a special place in your heart, and that things have got better for you. Would love to see some pictures of her!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Wonderful update!
Too many of us know how hard it is to lose our beloved Goldens, the journey to move forward and find peace, but more importantly to be able to open our hearts to a new best friend. 

Great to hear Dallas is bringing so much joy into your life. Would love to see pictures of your precious girl.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Dallas*

So glad to hear about Dallas-she will help heal your heart.
I am sure that Sandie is SMILING!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Hugs to you dear! {{{}}} So glad you got a new puppy to mend your heart.


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## jm2319 (Dec 14, 2007)

Wow, this thread was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you LauraWatson for sharing your journey with Sandie and Dallas and to all those who shared your encouragement. Having lost my first boy not so long ago, and with plans to visit our new boy's litter this weekend, it has been a bit of an internal struggle. But all your words are so helpful in this ongoing process of grief, joy and remembrance.


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

Yes "Thank You" LauraWatson for sharing in your journey. Our family just recently lost our 8 year old boy and I have 2 boys that are just a little bit older than you. My oldest son is really having a very hard time as Oakley took him through high school and his young adult life. Their first real experience with Grief - and as you know it is not easy to go through.

I look forward to sharing your story with my family. It gives us all hope that we can cherish our Goldens and the wonderful memories they gave us, that yes we can heal and open our hearts to love another Golden - that in time we will look back with more laughs and great memories and less sorrow. 

Our family thanks you for coming back here to share your story about Dallas and Sandie. Enjoy your wonderful lives together!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Lbisuz*



Lbisuz said:


> Coming from one broken heart to another...I understand where you are coming from and how you are feeling. Rest assured, when your new pup comes, the love is there ready to be released again. I lost my heart dog 10 weeks ago and as of four days ago, have a new Golden boy (rescue) who right now is sleeping on my feet.
> 
> I like to believe Chunk sent this boy to me because he knew I needed a Golden to love. Does this mean my broken heart is mended, no, not completely, but it is better. I can laugh at Captain's antics and smile at his similarities *and* differences. Each Golden gives us something new to learn, except for the one universal truth...
> 
> ...


We, too, have lost many of our dogs and want to give you all hope that you can heal and love, again.When we lost our beloved Golden Retriever, Smooch, we adopted Tucker and he has helped to heal our hearts. I agree with Lbisuz that we smile at their similarities and differences, but they are each uniquely lovable!!


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## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

jm2319 said:


> Wow, this thread was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you LauraWatson for sharing your journey with Sandie and Dallas and to all those who shared your encouragement. Having lost my first boy not so long ago, and with plans to visit our new boy's litter this weekend, it has been a bit of an internal struggle. But all your words are so helpful in this ongoing process of grief, joy and remembrance.


I'm so sorry for your loss  what a beautiful boy!! Good luck on finding your new puppy  I'm sure he will bring you some much needed happiness and it would be nice to think that Jensen will be looking out for you both, just remember that you'll never really be without him and that he'll always live on in your heart forever


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## LauraWatson (Apr 14, 2014)

Melakat said:


> Yes "Thank You" LauraWatson for sharing in your journey. Our family just recently lost our 8 year old boy and I have 2 boys that are just a little bit older than you. My oldest son is really having a very hard time as Oakley took him through high school and his young adult life. Their first real experience with Grief - and as you know it is not easy to go through.
> 
> I look forward to sharing your story with my family. It gives us all hope that we can cherish our Goldens and the wonderful memories they gave us, that yes we can heal and open our hearts to love another Golden - that in time we will look back with more laughs and great memories and less sorrow.
> 
> Our family thanks you for coming back here to share your story about Dallas and Sandie. Enjoy your wonderful lives together!


I'm so sorry to hear of your loss  it would be nice to think that both Oakley and Sandie are up there somewhere smiling down at us  I never thought I would be able to love a Golden the way I did Sandie but each dog is so unique and has their own wonderful personalities that can be appreciated individually. If at some point in the future you do decide to get another beautiful golden then I wish you the very best of luck  and know that Oakley will always we with you and your family. Keep laughing about all the good times you spent together and hopefully it will help to heal your hearts


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