# HELP!!!My precious Golden is sick....



## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hello...I am new to this and am sick myself so I am going to do the best I can. My Golden Mojo is 8, he is the light of my life, my constant companion and best friend, and we are inseparable. My Mojo has been slowing down the past few weeks (he is quite heavy from seizure meds and lack of exercise, it is so hot here in SW Florida that he can barely stand walks, even at night), especially since one walk two weeks ago at night, he just sat down and that was that, we went home. He woke up with a nosebleed this morning, this has never happened before, but now I am realizing that his lack of speed when rising/laying down, along with a little moan when he finally is "spread out", may be something worse than just getting older?? I can't bear the thought of it, he is my entire universe, and I am unemployed due to illness and I am panicking about not being able to pay a huge vet bill. Does anyone know of any clinics in Sarasota/Fort Myers area that will allow someone to make payments?? I know I need to get him to the vet today, I just don't have any way to pay for it and he deserves better than this. He has saved my life before and I need to save his!!! I am desperate for any advice anyone can give me, I need to do something quick for him. If it meant surrendering him to a rescue I would do it, although I honestly don't think he would make it, he freaks out when I go check the mail or shut the bathroom door without him right by my side. I have a seizure disorder and he never ever wants to leave me (he has one too), and I never want to leave him either, any advice or direction would help. THANK YOU!!!


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## DNL2448 (Feb 13, 2009)

Sorry, I am no help, but I just wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and Mojo, and that you can find the help and answers you need.


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## puddinhd58 (Jan 15, 2009)

I am sorry, I am from Chicago and don't have any advice but I wanted to say I was sorry for what you are going through and I hope Mojo is ok.....


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Can you get care credit through your vet? That way they get paid and you can make payments. And in most cases if you pay off before the limit (like 12 months), you aren't paying any interest. 

You need to get him in for an exam today (just pay the exam fee) and go from there. Because it's so serious, I would want as good and honest a vet as possible looking at my dog. 

All my best.


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I know how hard it is to not be able to afford the big vet bills. I would just go to the vet and find out what it is and go from there. The regular exam shouldn't cost too much and then at least you would know for sure what's going on.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Thank you all for your good wishes. I started reading through these threads after googling dog nosebleeds and omg I am having a complete breakdown. He is the epitome of a perfect golden, dog, and friend. Everyone always says that if I could clone him I'd be a millionaire, even though knowing me I wouldn't part with any of them!!! I just love him so much, and he has been so well even despite the seizures that I just wasnt prepared for this, I guess no one is. I am so glad I found this site, because I can't stand people telling me "it is just a dog". NO Golden is "just a dog". Ever.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

The other weird thing is he is constantly licking the carpet or his front paws; I have put clean towels underneath him to try and keep him from doing it but he is resourceful and pushes them out of the way. I lost my beloved Golden, Dallas, to liver cancer 8 years ago, at age 11, and it was so heartbreaking, that my heart goes out to all of you who have also lost their precious Golden babies. Reading these posts, it is just amazing that such well cared for and seemingly healthy Goldens are constantly succumbing to this terrible disease, I just can't get over it. Anyway, thank you again for your info/advice, I am just going to take him as soon as my husband gets home and see what happens. Prayers, prayers, prayers...


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Try these people, if they cannot help maybe they know someone who can: 

Animal Rescue Coalition
Sarasota FL
941-957-1955 
Web: www.animalrescuecoalition.org
Low cost s/n for residents of Sarasota County.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Here is a thread with some places that might be able to help you. http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...grants-financial-aid-medical-issues-vets.html
My heart goes out to you with what you are going thru. With getting his weight down maybe you can lower his food and give him some green beans in his food. Give him a big kiss from me.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*MarylovesMojo*

MaryLovesMojo

My heart is going out to Mojo and you. I will pray for all of you when your Husband comes home and you all go to the vet. Some times when a dog keeps licking it is because they are in pain.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Praying you got Mojo to the vet.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

Im so sorry to read about your sweet boy, Mojo. I hope you were able to take him to the vet, Please let us know what you found out.


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## C's Mom (Dec 7, 2009)

Sending healing thoughts to your boy and I hope you are able to find a sympathic vet soon who will help.


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I hope that Mojo was able to get to the vet and you update us soon.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I don't have any advice about care support but I just wanted to let you know that you and Mojo are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are able to get answers soon. You are right that "just a dog" is NOT true!


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

No adivce, just tons of good wishes for your mojo and you. I am so lucky my vet allows dependable people to pay over time. When we go in, even for just a little check up, i am asked if i want to pay or if i want to be billed.

My vet teases me that i paid for one of his $15,000 heated ice units oer the years (knee surgeries on one of my goldens, tumor surgeries, dentals, for 4 dogs, etc. What i do is either have a cridt or i owe. Most i have had in cridit wa a little over $200 (have $21 now), and most i have owed was $2300 (8 days in icu, expenisve meds, untra soundsm, tons of lab works, etc.) 

i hope you can find a vet like mine. And prayers for your swee mojo, and your are right, they are not "just dogs", they are family emembers.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

*Update: Heartbroken*

Hi everyone....my worst fears...my very nice vet thinks he has lymphoma. I can't even breathe writing this. We got xrays done, ect and there was a large mass near his heart, and one near his colon. She thinks they are lymphoma but isn't 100 percent sure. She did do a needle aspiration of the chest and got some suspicious cells, and tried again and got blood so she stopped. She referred me to an oncologist about 40 minutes from here (I have a seizure disorder, just like my special boy Mojo, so driving there is going to be impossible, I was lucky I got to the vet), for further tests if I want to try chemo. I am so overwhelmed with info, I have been up researching and applying for grants for two days/nights straight, I don't qualify for care credit and I am losing my mind. I can't bear the thought of losing my boy, he is my whole life and my whole heart, I am never ever more than five feet from him and she stares in my face when and if I do sleep. He brings in the groceries, he smiles at me ear to ear when I need it the most, he carries my purse and steals my shoes so I won't leave without him (seriously, if he sees me putting makeup on, he runs and steals my shoes because he knows that means I am leaving), he has sat right by my side through 4 strokes, wouldn't even leave me to pee or eat or anything, he is the most loyal being God ever created. He was horribly abused before I adopted him, was skin and bones and black and blue. He had a seizure disorder from the brain injuries (his vet then made them surrender him or risk prosecution, so they did, and he picked me as his new Mom!!! The happiest day of my life!!!) so he was going to be hard to place (this was before I was sick), and boy we were just a perfect fit!!!! I have him on 60 mg prednisone (2 and a half times a day) now while i try to come up with the funds to take him to the oncologist for a more definitive diagnosis and hopefully treatment plan, but with those two masses I am terrified that they can't do anything. His spleen looked ok, but he is so chubby that it is hard to tell exactly what is going on, other than those two large spots don't belong there. The prednisone is already making him incontinent, although I bring him outside literally every twenty to thirty minutes, he still is having accidents as soon as he comes in (he has NEVER EVER had an accident, ever, in the house except when he has had a seizure, so this is horrible for him I know it)....I just don't know what to do. Is it mean to keep him alive for ME? Is it mean to put him to sleep without trying everything first??? I don't have anyone to talk to about this, I am losing it my heart literally hurts, the grief is unbearable, and that is only going to upset him more. I can't let him go I just can't live without him, I don't know what to do?????


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

I'm so sorry for the diagnosis and for what you're going through. First, the prednisone issue with incontinence will get better with time. Second, everything seems so overwhelming now, but ultimately you will find your way and know what's right to do for your doggie. From experience I know how hard this is for you. Trust yourself and trust Mojo. You are in my thoughts.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Do you have any friends or family members that could drive you to the oncologist? I'm sorry you weren't able to qualify for Care Credit, that's the only help I could think of. This is a very hard situation for you and my heart goes out to you and Mojo. I'm sorry.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Thank you...I don't have anyone here, I moved to Florida 7 years ago for work, and now that Im sick and not able to work, I am home pretty much 24/7, and the friends you have then tend to be fair weather friends, unlike dogs. Especially my sweet boy. All of my family is in NY, and my sister has cancer (stage IV, third recurrence, with three small children, so I feel terrible even crying over my dog when she is suffering so much too. She has an amazing support system up there tho, thank God), and my parents (My Mom is also a cancer survivor) are taking care of my 30 year old brother who has a traumatic brain injury from a car accident (he wasn't driving, was the victim of an fool), so they can't help, if anything I should be helping them. I would have never adopted him then if I knew how much things would change and I wouldn't be able to give him the care he needs when he needs it the most!!!!!! That is killing me. He is so precious to me, he is my whole heart, it's hard to stop crying long enough to try and make a plan. Thank you for listening, you would all love him and he would love you, he cries and goes bananas when he sees other Goldens, even on tv!! Or if you say "Oh look at the Golden Retriever!!!", which I do every time I see one, he goes just crazy trying to go play with them!!! Thanks for giving me a chance to smile...yesterday after I left the vet (he wasn't cooperating with me there, he wouldn't leave my side, so they made me leave)...apparently they opted to keep him tied to a leash in the hallway of the offices while they were waiting to aspirate him (he wouldn't leave the doorway that I walked out of), he waited for them to turn around and he unhooked his leash from the latch and literally tore off down the hallway and out the door!! The same dog that was laying on his side, moaning and panting when we got there. I had to come back, they had to put him on a gurney just to get him to go into the xray room without me. He just knows something is wrong, is trying not to show it, and wants his Mom.  I feel like I am letting him down. I am trying to research chemo for dogs with lymphoma, survival rates, ect and even at an early stage it seems like they live a year or so, which is fine with me I will take every second I can get!!! I am online now applying for Magic Bullet, wish me luck, I need this to happen for my special angel. He makes everything worthwhile, is beautiful and loving and loyal and way too young to go. Sometimes I wish I was one of the "its just a dog" people, because this is heartbreaking. Literally. My chest feels like its going to explode. I am so sorry for all of you who have had to lose their beautiful babies to the rainbow bridge, how did you do it???I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Please say a prayer for my baby, the most important thing to me in the world isn't my grief but his happiness and peace and his love.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Do you live close enough to Gainesville to take Mojo to the University of Florida Veterinary Hospital? As a public teaching hospital they may be amenable to payment arrangements, particularly for oncology patients. In addition, they may have some kind of trial study going that could greatly reduce the costs of treatment. Here's their website:

Veterinary Specialists & Outpatient Animal Care | UF Veterinary Hospitals


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know the vet referred you to an oncologist 40 mins. away but is it possible there is one closer to you?


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## janine (Aug 8, 2009)

Sending prayers to you and Mojo.


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## Belle's Mom (Jan 24, 2007)

I am so sorry you are going thru this.

I think I may have misunderstood something. I thought you were married as I thought you mentioned in an earlier post taking Mojo to the vet as soon your husband got home.....is there anyone there who can assist you?


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I'm so sorry..... we lost two goldens to cancer, but they were old and even before they became sick we had plenty of time (months and years) to gently say goodbye and prepare ourselves for whatever would take our old angels away. Lymphoma scares the heck out of me because it happens so much to younger dogs. 

Mary - from the sounds of it, you have given him a very happy life and I hope have stored up all of those special moments and joys that you guys have shared together. Because he's only 8, I would definitely get a second opinion and try to see what you can do to help him right now. There are members of GRF who have been through lymphoma with their dogs, I really hope they can get with you with advice. 

All my best and prayers for you.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Awww Mary, I am so sorry to read this. I know the pain is awful..it is equal to the love you feel for him and is our payment for knowing this special golden love.  Try to cling to your good memories and times with him and the knowledge you gave him the best life could offer even if it was later in his life. I hope you have friends nearby or some family who can help you emotionally; either way please do keep posting to this board and let us know how you are doing. Hugs to you both, Kimberly


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## Hunter'sMom (Sep 5, 2011)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. In terms of getting to an oncologist... could you contact a local golden rescue and see if a volunteer there might be willing to assist you? or maybe multiple volunteers (one to take you and one to pick you up)? I volunteer for my local rescue and I know if a call for help came in like this, I would do whatever I could- we all understand how horrible this feels. I wish you the best...


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Hunter'sMom said:


> I'm so sorry you are going through this. In terms of getting to an oncologist... could you contact a local golden rescue and see if a volunteer there might be willing to assist you? or maybe multiple volunteers (one to take you and one to pick you up)? I volunteer for my local rescue and I know if a call for help came in like this, I would do whatever I could- we all understand how horrible this feels. I wish you the best...


What a great idea Hunter'sMom!


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

I just deleted the longest post on accident, probably a good thing. Yes I have an estranged husband, he is not a dog person (loves the dog but isn't the type to have dogs himself, he prefers to be the center of attention), and although he is trying to be considerate, in no way does he feel I should knock myself out trying to save this dog. I am guessing, like most non-dog people (or people that have never had a Golden!!), he just doesn't get it. I am going to contact the rescues now, I have managed to sell a few things to get enough to at least bring him to the oncologist and see if she can give me a more definitive answer to what we are dealing with. I am trying hard to dry up the tears and just fight for my dog, that is what he would do!!! I try to keep telling myself that although he has a nervous breakdown if I leave the house for more than 5 minutes without him, if my life was threatened he would kick some a#$!!! So that is where I am trying to be mentally right now. Lots of deep breaths. I swore after my last Golden died of cancer (I was making alot of money then, and spent a small fortune on his care, so I really feel terrible that I am not in the same position to do this for my baby now), that I would never get another one, the grief is too unbearable when they leave you, but after crying every day for a year I begged and begged my husband and he relented after we heard Mojo's story. He needed me, he is PERFECT for me. We are perfect together!!!! I am trying to get back to that determined person who convinced a very very hard headed man that I simply could not live one more minute without a Golden in my life. SO: THANK YOU for all of your advice, your prayers, your well wishes and kind thoughts, I need and appreciate every one of them. I am now going to go and fight for my MOJO!!!! I'll keep you posted...thank you xoxoxoxo


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

*Pictures??*

By the way, how do I post pictures of him on here?? He is a little chubby, like I said, but smiles the biggest Golden smile you could imagine.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Under the Quick Reply box click on Go Advanced, then scroll down to find Manage Attachments. Can't wait to see pics of Mojo!


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Mary, When you type a reply hit the 'go advanced' button on the bottom. It takes you to a more advanced window and at the type is the paperclip icon (attach). It allows you to attach a picture but it can't be over a certain size. I hope this helps.

When I lost my first golden I couldn't even say his name for 5 years without balling like a baby (Rusty). I lived in St.Petersburg then. But I've now had 2 since and am thankful that our hurt does become memories and that I've gotten to know these two precious souls. It will kill me when either of them goes, but I still would not trade it and will accept the heartache. I hope you can get help for your Mojo and his quality of life will be good, but if it is not or you can't try to accept they live life in the present and do not know they are sick. They only know you love them and the greatest gift you have yet to give would be to let them go. More hugs your way, K


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## Mssjnnfer (Aug 9, 2009)

Just wanted to first say, LOVE Mojo's name.  (I have a Mojo too!)

Also, I will be keeping you and Mojo in my prayers. <3


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

These are some pics of Mojo that I found fast, I have so many on here but some are too big. I will upload some recent ones too...and some when he was only a few years old (his little face was so much darker then!! He looks alot older now, I think because of the epilepsy, but he is still beautiful!!!)...he was alot skinnier then too, but then again so was I!! Thank you for allowing me to share his story with you...I don't feel so alone any more. Have emails in to some rescues, there is a great referral vet in Estero, Florida, is anyone familiar with them? Apparently they are quite good, and they take care credit, so I am going to attempt to re-apply for that if I can try and have my parents co-sign, it's worth a shot. Other wise I will literally sell every single thing I have, but if they say he is treatable we are doing it!!! One more thing- I have started researching a new diet that doesn't feed the cancer, and have found a few regarding Essiac tea. Has anyone tried it?? God bless you and all of your babies...here and over the rainbow. I am so glad I found wonderful people who "get" what it is to have a Golden.Thanks again....


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Oops sorry they are a little big!!?? I just noticed that in the one with the shades, we lived in my old house by the beach. It was two stories with a huge balcony that wrapped around it, and he LOVED running running running ...until he got wrapped up in the hammock and cut his side (just a little, but enough to stress him out). I bandaged him up, and he acted so wounded and serious that I took him to the vet to make sure he was ok. He was fine, just dramatic!! Every time I put a band aid on him, even for no reason, he would get so stoic and serious and act like he was on his last leg. Just a funny memory of my beautiful funny boy. I lost so many memories after the last stroke and from the seizures, but God has blessed me with the ability to remember so much about the past 7 years with this special boy.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

He looks like a beautiful, happy boy! Thank you for sharing with us. K


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## baumgartml16 (Jun 19, 2011)

Prayers for you and Mojo. I hope you find a way to get him to the oncologist and a way to pay for it. I have only had my baby for a few months but I would already go to the moon and back for her. I can't imagine how you feel...lots of love and prayers for you both!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Praying for you and MOJO and I hope the Golden rescues can help you.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Mojo is beautiful. I am truly sorry for what is happening with your sweet boy. Feel sorry for people with "it's just dog" attitude. Unfortunately, I was one of them before Buddy came into my life. Buddy turned my world around, he changed my life and he changed me forever. I am not that same person anymore. I will pray for the best possible outcome for you and your boy. Stay strong and positive.


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

I am so sorry you are going through this. Mojo is such a cutie!! We will keep you both in our thoughts and prayers.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Haven't heard back from the rescues yet, have posted on Petfinder too so I am working on it, I will get to the onco if I have to take a cab!! Another long night...I have been sleeping on the kitchen floor with him, I don't want to spend one second without him, and the kitchen floor seems to be where he prefers to be (I think because the tile is cooler and he has a fever still)...my Mom nicely suggested today that maybe I shouldn't do this, that I may be freaking him out being next to him every second. He is really really still today, he had a crazy morning- we went outside early, he wasn't on a leash because he never needs one, but a huge german shepherd had gotten away from its very small Mom that was walking him, he charged right up to Mojo I almost had a heart attack. They did the little circle dance and actually Mojo seemed to like asserting his Alpha Dog status a little, but he hasn't moved since. He just lays quietly on the floor. He is still eating and drinking (thanks for the advice about the pred, he has seemed to stop the incontinence, it didn't bother me nearly as much as it bothered him, poor baby), so that's good right?? Waiting for the vet to call me back, I think he is in pain because he is just so still and moans a little when he is trying to get up, I don't want him going through the weekend like that. God I hope I am doing the right thing by hoping we can fight this out. I don't want him to suffer, I just can't give up on him yet, I need to hear an onco say there is nothing we can do before I could ever let him go. God this is ripping my heart out, I walked outside last night late just to take a deep breath and when he wasn't right by my side I nearly dropped, I just can't imagine my life without him, I just can't. I did get ahold of my sister in NY (the one with cancer, God bless her)...she is a master fund raiser, and has raised thousands and thousands of dollars for breast cancer research, and she is coming up with great ideas for me: "dog wash", dog walking, ect....so we can raise enough to fight if it is an option. It's amazing how people come through for you when they are going through so much themselves. I have to say, I can't thank you all enough for just keeping my golden angel face in your thoughts and prayers, it is helping so much to know that people that truly understand these special babies are pulling for him!!! Thank you, thinking of you all, too...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Keep calling the rescues until you can talk to someone and call the vet back, too, so you can talk to him. My heart is breaking for you and Mojo, and I will pray very hard. Before Ken and I lost our dogs we said that we promised them they would never be in pain -when Snobear and Smooch had cancer we were with them as they crossed to the Rainbow Bridge.

Please let us know what the vet says and please give MOJO a big kiss!!


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Mary, if you get a vet and get them to agree to accept donations directly; then post it I will verify it and spread the word for you on facebook. People do this all the time. I will send you my email as a private message now. Kimberly


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

> have posted on Petfinder too so I am working on it


Would you mind posting the Petfinder link?

I did not realize Petfinder accepted postings from individuals- I thought it was only rescue groups.


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

Petfinders has a message board in it. Here is her post.

Petfinder.com forums :: View topic - Gold Ret SW Fla needs ride to onco SOON, can you help?? [ ]


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*mARY cALL ALESIA!!!!*

239-248-3388. Let her know if I don't answer, to leave a message and I will call her back right away. I may be at church when she calls. I am working on getting someone lined up to help her. Once I speak to her, I will email the oncologists tech and let he know. Thanks!


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi there!!! I just got a message from you about transport, I get this ever, ever, never ever ever. My email is [email protected] , I tried to reply to the private message but it just says that I don't have enough posts to??I was typing out this long winded reply to the other posts and just got kicked off, so I will sign back on in a few minutes after I email the person that said they would help with transport. I am jumping up and down my poor Moj thinks I am crazy!!! I am crazy with happiness!!!!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

I will forward you Alesia's msg. right now. CALL HER!! She will find someone to help with Mojo!!

*Just sent you her email-CALL HER!!!!!!!*


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Signing in to email now...THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Please let us know after you've talked to Alesia and keep us posted every step of the way!!


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

Once you have 15 posts ( just 2 more), the PM system is available to you as well. It is a board default setting but you soon will have that many posts.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Just left her a message and sent a text message, and got an email from Dr Kraiza's vet tech at the 24/7 Vet Hospital in Estero (yes, the same place your friend was mentioning, I am just so happy right now I could explode) and she is going to see Mojo whenever they can get us there (between Tuesday and Friday), so I will work this all out today. I will honestly never ever forget the this as long as I live. Thank you for going out on a limb for me and my Moj. I will post more later, we are heading out for the 27th time to pee...60 mgs of pred 2 1/2 times a day is turning my poor boy into a guyser...I will also be able to send pm's soon (have to have 15 posts I think?)so I can answer other emails. I am excited about the facebook plea idea too!!! I just can't believe finally that we have this wonderful network of Golden mom's who don't think I am crazy that I love my boy so much!! He is constipated from the home cooked food I think (starting to worry, he hasn't gone since Friday afternoon), and when I asked my husband he said to give him exlax. He was serious.:doh: enough said.
Hugs and Love from me and the Moj!!!:wavey:​


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

oops...Golden Moms AND dads!!!!


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

I've been lurking here for a few months, and this heartfelt thread has finally made me come out of my shell: 

Good luck Mary and Mojo! I send my prayers and good thoughts out to you both each day, and Karen and Alesia you are both such wonderful souls for what you're doing to help. I hope this all works out for you guys and LOVELY Mojo will heal!

Gem xx


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

So glad you called Alesia.
Can you email her instead of texting, don't know if she has text.

Maybe someone on here can tell you what to give a dog so they will go number 2.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

:wavey:Hi there!!! He went...a little...but its a start!!! I did get a text back from her, she is calling me back after church, and I emailed her also. I AM GRATEFUL MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVER SAY!!! Even my new good mood is contagious...Moj seems to be perking up!!! Between the panting...he smiles!! I will post more pics later, I am videotaping him all day. When I watch the tapes he barks at himself and then goes and collects his babies...I think he thinks the dog on the tv is going to swipe them. 
Gem...when you are ready, I can honestly say you seem like the type of person that would absolutely treasure a Golden!!! A rescue or the local pound is a good place to start, my Golden puppy Dallas (I got him when he was a baby...he died 8 years ago, and he was a handfull as a puppy but a great boy!!!)...I read an article once that so many purebred dogs get euthanized at pounds! I adopted Mojo from the Sarasota "pound"- I hate that word- and he was so horribly abused and had epilepsy too he had alot going against him- but I honestly can say he is the most amazing creature God ever created. It is like they are almost grateful you saved them, and they repay you with a lifetime of loyalty. I have never ever regretted one minute I have spent with mine, and I had alot of dogs growing up, but can't imagine my life without a Golden. Good luck!! 
Will keep you all posted...my heartfelt thanks once again...this is going to be happy day!!! :wavey:


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

I'm going to church now-will be back in about 90 minutes.
I always stay signed on to this forum, so it can look like I'm on here but I'm not.
Keep checking your emails, too!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Gemmy*

Gemmy

So glad you finally came out of your shell and hope to see many, many,more posts from you!! Keep going on the posts when you get 15 you can then send a private msg. to someone!!


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

Thank you guys, this is a wonderful forum with wonderful people, and I cannot wait to one day care for a beautiful Golden of my own and to share it with you all!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Gemmy*

Gemmy

We can't wait to hear when you get a dog!
Are you thinking of adopting?
Dogs are JUST WONDERFUL!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Alesia said you can try pure pumpkin for the constipation.

Note from me: Pale gums could mean dehydration and / or bleeding.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

In reading back through the posts I can't tell whether or not a transport has been arranged, so I'll post this information anyway. The author of 15 Legs sent me this contact information of people/organizations that might be willing to help with transport:

Hi Garry,

EARS, a no kill facility in Englewood, may have a volunteer willing to help.

Englewood Animal Rescue 
Sanctuary-EARS
Englewood, FL
941-475-0636
Website: Home New
E-mail: [email protected]

The group below has lots of contacts in South Florida.
ARC Animal Rescue Coalition | Participating Organizations

I would hope fellow Golden lovers in South Florida would be willing to reach out and help:
Contact us

If I were closer to Englewood, I would offer to drive Mojo to his appt. myself! (I'm a little north of Boston...) With an understanding that time is of the essence with animal emergencies like this, I'll be happy to seek out additional contacts for this woman if you need them.


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

> Gemmy
> 
> We can't wait to hear when you get a dog!
> Are you thinking of adopting?
> Dogs are JUST WONDERFUL!!



I'm afraid it may be a few years yet! My lovely partner, Jase, and I have decided to work through our mini-debt first and then are going to start looking for a golden. I get so insanely excited though, and spend so much time on the forums, researching goldens and how to care for them that I just wish to have one now! DP had a wonderful golden when he was growing up that lived to be 21 before he went to Rainbow Bridge and we feel like he is always with us, so at least we have a golden in spirit until the wonderful day comes when we can find one to add to our family 

I can't decide if I'd like to adopt or have one from a puppy. However, the idea of rescuing a golden to give it a fresh start in life and lots of love and the safety it should have had the first time around sounds so rewarding. Mary, I'm sorry for rambling in yours and Mojo's thread! :smooch:


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*GGDenny*

GGdenny

Thank you for trying to help Mary and Mojo!!!
AS FAR as I know Mary and Alesia (From Gold. Ret. Rescue of SW Florida spoke today at noon and arranged some way of getting Mojo to the animal hsptl. for a consultation betweeen Tues and Friday of this coming week, depending on when Doctor can see him. Can You tell her thank you and to stay on stand by in case Mary would need other help with Mojo?

Bless you, Gerry!!

Karen


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Alesia called and left you a voice mail and has texted you.
Please let us know how you and Mojo are and call Alesia.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary and Mojo*

Mary and Mojo

Alesia and I are SO WORRIED about you both, since we haven't heard anything.
Please contact us!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Alesia*

Alesia spoke with Mary today and they will be taking Mojo for a consultation on Thursday.

PLEASE EVERYONE, pray very hard.


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## hubbub (Jun 28, 2011)

Karen519 said:


> Alesia spoke with Mary today and they will be taking Mojo for a consultation on Thursday.
> 
> PLEASE EVERYONE, pray very hard.


Thanks for the update!


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## Maddie'sMom2011 (Apr 26, 2011)

Mojo sounds a lot like our bridge boy Jake - Mary, you are absolutely right! They know when you've saved them & they've found their forever home. Prayers coming your way!


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

Prayers and good thoughts beaming your way, Mary and Mojo!


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## T-Joy (Aug 22, 2011)

We are sending the prayers and all the Light and Love that we have in this moment to Mary and Mojo!!!

Joy's family from Paris


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Bumping*

Bumping up for prayers for Mojo and Mary.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

We will be praying for you for your Thursday consultation too Mary and Mojo. I hope it turns out to be something treatable....K


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Asking for Prayers*

*Asking for lots of prayers for MOJO!!!!!!*

Just heard from Alesia that Mojo's appointment with the oncologist is today at 1:00. *Please pray hard for Mojo and for Mary (she hasn't been feeling well).*


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Thank you for letting us know....she has not emailed me anymore. Please let us know how it turns out and I'll keep the good vibes and wishes going that Mojo will be ok...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Angelina*

I haven't heard from her either but a wonderful lady with GRRSWF is going to let me know how Mojo does.


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

Let us know if anyone hears any updates.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Rob*

ROB

Alesia, of GRRSWF, said she will let me know. I will let all know.


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## kdel (Jul 26, 2011)

I have been following this thread and hope things went well. Mojo's appt. was today right?


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

Keeping Mojo in our thoughts and prayers.


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## T-Joy (Aug 22, 2011)

Sweet Mojo is in our prayers all the time.:--heart:
Everything will be alright.

Love&Light


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Good morning, I am sorry I haven't posted, I got really sick Sunday and just went down hill from there. I am going to post fast and update more later, I just wanted to say thank you for all of your prayers and kind thoughts, they are so appreciated.

We still don't know exactly what is going on. His onco, a wonderful Dr. Kraiza, does not feel he shows a mass in his abdomen, just his chest. The mass in his chest, she feels, is either lymphoma or thymoma. His blood work, however, was all unremarkable except slightly elevated live enzymes (which could be due to his very high pred dose). Upon leaving, with a 1700 estimate for more definitive tests, his tech said she feels he may have a hermangiosarcoma, and if that is the case, will probably go into major distress with a day or two. I nearly dropped, I swear to God I did. 

I have been researching Lymphoma for a week, quite sure that is what he has, as was my primary vet, and now I have to start over. Dr. Kraiza did say he would present with myasthenia gravis and a few other syndromes (his panting/respiration is already labored, again it could be the pred, she switched him to a lower dose), although after researching it all night, he is not losing weight, he doesn't regurgitate his food (he is eating NON STOP- I cook all of his food, nixed carbs completely, proteins and tons of veggies, spring water, omega three oils, tumeric and ginger, ect ect...anything else you can recommend please do!!), he actually gained a little weight since his primary visit last week!! I have an email Dr Kraiza sent me last night with a complete wrap-up of the day and what she recommends, I would be happy to post it if someone thinks they can help me make sense of it all while I am trying to research it. My heart is so heavy today. 

I need to sell a kidney or something to get these tests done, I am calling my primary at 8 to see if she can do any of them herself (flow cytometry, ultrasound guided aspirates, ect, Ill post the plan), I just don't have 1700 within the next few days!! I have already spent close to a grand and still really don't know what is going on!!! The only good thing in all of this is that if it is lymphoma, it is chemo receptive if it isn't tcell, and if it is thymoma, surgery is a great option (although they would have to crack his very large chest to get at the tumor and I cant imagine that). He is so young still (to me, anyway), that I feel I have to do everything to try. He saved me again Sunday, this is the third time now, and I am going to save him I will not give up!!! I have to try.

Thank you Karen for setting me up with Alesia, they are TREASURES, and Mark, the transport driver, is an absolute angel. He got call and text after call and text about rescues, pulls, ect and he is on it, 24/7, answering the call to help these Goldens. They are gems, as are all of you.

Time to pee again (Moj, not me) and call my vet, Ill post more later.

Super prayers and thanks for all of you, he is the light of my entire existence and my very best friend and I appreciate how nice you all are.

Mary and the Moj


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

MARY

We are praying for Mojo-keep us posted on him and what primary says this morning.

Can you post Dr. Kazia's wrap-up of the day so we can read it?


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

You and Mojo are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Ok here goes, hope this works...

Thursday, September 29, 2011

RDVM - Dr. Amy DeBolt
Lemon Bay Animal Hospital
3060 S. McCall Road
Englewood, FL 34224

Dear Mary Comtois:

It was so nice to meet you and Mojo today.

*Presenting Complaint:*
Mediastinal mass found on x-rays. Some lethargy and weakness seen last week.

*History:*
Mojo was rescued when he was 1 year old from the humane society in Sarasota. He was neutered when you adopted him. He has had epilepsy since he was 2 years old. He was initially treated with phenobarbitol, but you felt like this did not control his seizures. His seizures have lessened as he has gotten older. He has been healthy until the last week when he developed weakness and a nose bleed. Dr. DeBolt performed chest and abdominal x-rays and a mediastinal mass was found.

*TPR:*
Temperature: 102.2, Pulse: 140 / good, Respiration: panting, increased effort, MM: pink, CRT: 2 sec.
Weight: 50.909 kg, 112.00 lb, 1.37 m2

*Physical Examination:* 
Appearance: BAR, mildly increased respiratory effort
Eyes: Mild lenticular sclerosis OU; small mass right upper eyelid
Ears: waxy discharge AU
Nose: NSF
Oral Cavity: mild tartar, no oral masses
Heart / Lungs: NSR, SSP, No HMs, lungs clear but mildly increased respiratory effort
Abdomen: tense, difficult to palpate due to size.
Urogenital: CM
Musculoskeletal: BCS 8/9, lipoma? left lateral thorax
Neurological: Generalized weakness, poor withdrawls all limbs, normal reflexes and normal CPs
Skin: NSF
Rectal Exam: no masses on rectal, mildly decreased anal tone
Lymph Nodes: no peripheral lymphadenopathy
Comments: Mojo is a very sweet boy!


*Plan:*
Exam, CBC, glucose/Ca2+/Crea/ALT. Reviewed lateral chest and abdominal x-ray - large mediastinal mass, no obvious abdominal masses. His blood counts were normal, as were his glucose, calcium and creatinine. He has a mild increase in his ALT (liver enzyme) possibly secondary to steroid. 

*Procedures:* 
Recommend work up with myasthenia gravis titers, flow cytometry on blood, abdominal/thorax ultrasound, consider sedation and aspiration of mediastinal mass. Could consider blood pressure and clotting times to look for cause of nose bleed.

*Treatment:*
As we discussed during your visit without a diagnosis it is hard to say for sure what the best treatment is or what the prognosis is. Based on the x-rays I am most suspicious that he has lymphoma or thymoma. These two tumors have very different treatments and prognosis. On exam he does seem weak and this can be seen as a paraneoplastic condition to a thymoma (myasthenia gravis). I also think that he is breathing harder - but I am hoping this is related to the prednisone. I tested his blood for high calcium level today and it was normal - often a high calcium level is associated with lymphoma. 
I have recommended some blood tests to help us differentiate and these could be done by Dr. DeBolt. Ideally after we have the results of these tests we would sedate him and with ultrasound guidance aspirate the mass in his chest - this could be difficult due to his size. Also sometimes it can be hard to differentiate thymoma from lymphoma with an aspirate. 

If he has lymphoma we could treat him systemically with chemotherapy (Adriamycin single agent or CCNU single agent - both could be given on a 3 week interval). If the mass is a thymoma these are often have very long survivals or are cured with surgery.

*Medications:*
*Please decrease the prednisone to 20 mg orally once daily. Do not give any other steroids or nonsteroidals at the same time. *

*Summary:* 
Please let us know if you wish to pursue further diagnostics. If you have any questions or concerns regarding Mojo, please contact me. Thank you for entrusting us with the care of Mojo.
Sincerely,

Sarah E. Kraiza, DVM, DACVIM
Boarded in Small Animal Internal Medicine (O


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## Our3dogs (Apr 3, 2008)

We will keep Mojo and you in our prayers, and send positive thoughts your way.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

By the way....all of your babies are just BEAUTIFUL!!! Mojo LOVES other Goldens, goes bananas when he sees them on tv or even on the computer, and I know he would just LOVE to see all of these beautiful pups.  Still waiting to hear back from his primary...

Also just wanted to say how sorry I am to all of you who have lost your beautiful goldens...I know my heart breaking is how each of you felt, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

quickly....does anyone have any experience with essiac?? I can't find it anywhere here (not even the health food stores), and there are so many sites that offer it, I dont know where to start. Just curious, I will try anything.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

My Carmella had a thymoma in her chest. It was pressing up against one of her arteries and causing fluid to build up in her chest as well as in her pericardial sac (the membranous sac surrounding her heart). She had a lot of difficulty breathing because of this, and at one point her tongue turned almost black (they drained off 1L of fluid and she was much better).

Anyhow, we initially did not know it was a thymoma. The oncologist suspected that it could be a thymoma, but until they aspirated the mass they didn't know for sure. We opted to have a sternotomy on Carmella (they cracked her sternum and went into her chest) and they were able to easily remove the thymoma as well as remove the pericardial sac, which was substantially thickened. She was 13 when she had the surgery, but otherwise in great shape - a good healthy weight, strong heart and lungs, etc.

The thymoma was noncancerous and we had another 1.5 years with Carmella before she passed away from something else.

I wanted to relate my experience to you since the vet thinks it's possible Mojo may have a thymoma. Unfortunately, if we had not removed the thymoma Carmella would have died from it, simply because it was applying so much pressure to her artery and causing all that fluid build up.

I hope you can figure out what's wrong with Mojo. It's so hard watching our dogs struggle with a sickness. And I hope this doesn't come across as rude, but your dog seems to be overweight. It might make him feel a little better to have some of that extra mass off of him. Could you try maybe substituting some of his kibble with unsalted green beans? It will help keep him full but also help him maybe shed a few pounds.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

The Doctor said you could contact her with any questions.
I would ask her as far as the two possible diagnosises, which one does she feel is more likely and the percentage. Ken and I had to do this with our Snobear and Smooch-we didn't want to put them through anymore than they needed to be to say nothing of the money involved.

KDMarsh: Thank you so much for sharing about Carmella.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Thank you so much for sharing about Carmella, that beautiful girl!! I am so glad you had so many years with that precious angel. And yes, he is heavy, he has gained alot of weight in the past two years since I got sick. Originally when I adopted him, he was 40 lbs, literally skin and bones, and black and blue. It was atrocious. I overcompensated by giving him pretty much whatever he wanted (stupid, I know, but it didn't last long), and between that and the seizure meds he was on (those also made him pack on the pounds), he just got bigger and bigger even with daily exercise and swimming, ect. Almost three years ago I moved into a 2 story house that was walking distance to the beach, and once he got over the initial shock of stairs (he had never seen them before!! SW Florida is very much a one level state!!), he naturally had to go up and down them constantly and lost weight. That is where we lived when I got sick, and for a year his exercise pretty much consisted on stairs to go potty and not much else, except running around the house. This still breaks my heart because it is my fault he gained the weight back. It is so unbelievably hot here every single day (it was in the 90s here even in February this year, there is no escape from it), that neither of us can tolerate it much unless we are in the pool, which he, for the past year, thinks he needs to be held in it anyway, like a new born, so it is not exactly exercise anymore. I had actually started walking with him again alot more, a few times a night, about a month ago and that is when his weakness started to manifest. ANYWAY....I am sorry I am babbling....I am so nervous...at about the same time the long walks increased, I switched his diet to half home cooked (lean meats and veggies, no carbs, some fruit, fish oil, ect) and rachel rays just 6. Since he got sick, I am strictly cooking all of his food, and he eats better than anyone I know, and he actually LOVES it!!! He really does, where before he would kind of eat his dry dog food at night when he knew nothing else was coming; now he sits right on my feet the entire time I am cooking. So I will continue this for his weight and to fight the cancer, as I believe that carbs/grains feed cancer and no way is he getting any.
I did contact his primary vet- she is waiting to speak to Dr Kraiza herself this afternoon, they have an appt to go over everything from yesterday. She is not sure she can do the ultrasound guided aspiration herself, but I will know more later. I also contacted Dr Kraiza's office this morning and emailed them all the questions I had that I couldn't remember yesterday....they will get back to me later today with the answers....but I did ask Dr. Kraiza yesterday and she was positively torn- she initially thought lymphoma, b with his lethargy and dyspnea/rapid breathing, she then thought thymoma. She does want to do all of these tests to be sure, she feels the myasthynia gravis test will indicate thymoma if it is positive. She didn't seem real hopefull that it would be benign (about a 1 percent chance, which seems contradictory to what I am reading online??) She did say that if that is the case, that the surgery to remove it would involve cracking the ribs, ect, but as long as they could do it, I will find a way to make it happen. I dont want him to suffer, I really don't, it is just taking some time to make this all happen. He is so strong and brave, my true angel. We both felt that the prednisone may be working enough to mask positive lymphoma indicators, which is actually a bad thing because it will suddenly stop working and then he is going to decline rapidly.
I will post when I know more...thank you for taking the time to read, respond, and especially pray for my special boy.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Also, Dr Kraiza did feel that if it is thymoma, and we did operate, there is no telling what else they will find, which is discouraging. Cancer really sucks. I honestly thought he would outlive me, I really did, and I just can't grasp yet that he might not. UGH.


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

It is always hard not knowing what something is, and what you should do as your next steps. I am glad the 2 vets will contact each other on your case. Together may be they will come up with something for you to proceed from there.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

MaryLovesMojo said:


> Thank you so much for sharing about Carmella, that beautiful girl!! I am so glad you had so many years with that precious angel. And yes, he is heavy, he has gained alot of weight in the past two years since I got sick. Originally when I adopted him, he was 40 lbs, literally skin and bones, and black and blue. It was atrocious. I overcompensated by giving him pretty much whatever he wanted (stupid, I know, but it didn't last long), and between that and the seizure meds he was on (those also made him pack on the pounds), he just got bigger and bigger even with daily exercise and swimming, ect. Almost three years ago I moved into a 2 story house that was walking distance to the beach, and once he got over the initial shock of stairs (he had never seen them before!! SW Florida is very much a one level state!!), he naturally had to go up and down them constantly and lost weight. That is where we lived when I got sick, and for a year his exercise pretty much consisted on stairs to go potty and not much else, except running around the house. This still breaks my heart because it is my fault he gained the weight back. It is so unbelievably hot here every single day (it was in the 90s here even in February this year, there is no escape from it), that neither of us can tolerate it much unless we are in the pool, which he, for the past year, thinks he needs to be held in it anyway, like a new born, so it is not exactly exercise anymore. I had actually started walking with him again alot more, a few times a night, about a month ago and that is when his weakness started to manifest. ANYWAY....I am sorry I am babbling....I am so nervous...at about the same time the long walks increased, I switched his diet to half home cooked (lean meats and veggies, no carbs, some fruit, fish oil, ect) and rachel rays just 6. Since he got sick, I am strictly cooking all of his food, and he eats better than anyone I know, and he actually LOVES it!!! He really does, where before he would kind of eat his dry dog food at night when he knew nothing else was coming; now he sits right on my feet the entire time I am cooking. So I will continue this for his weight and to fight the cancer, as I believe that carbs/grains feed cancer and no way is he getting any.
> I did contact his primary vet- she is waiting to speak to Dr Kraiza herself this afternoon, they have an appt to go over everything from yesterday. She is not sure she can do the ultrasound guided aspiration herself, but I will know more later. I also contacted Dr Kraiza's office this morning and emailed them all the questions I had that I couldn't remember yesterday....they will get back to me later today with the answers....but I did ask Dr. Kraiza yesterday and she was positively torn- she initially thought lymphoma, b with his lethargy and dyspnea/rapid breathing, she then thought thymoma. She does want to do all of these tests to be sure, she feels the myasthynia gravis test will indicate thymoma if it is positive. She didn't seem real hopefull that it would be benign (about a 1 percent chance, which seems contradictory to what I am reading online??) She did say that if that is the case, that the surgery to remove it would involve cracking the ribs, ect, but as long as they could do it, I will find a way to make it happen. I dont want him to suffer, I really don't, it is just taking some time to make this all happen. He is so strong and brave, my true angel. We both felt that the prednisone may be working enough to mask positive lymphoma indicators, which is actually a bad thing because it will suddenly stop working and then he is going to decline rapidly.
> I will post when I know more...thank you for taking the time to read, respond, and especially pray for my special boy.


I'm sorry, it was so not my intention to make you feel guilty about Mojo's weight. Sometimes personal circumstances make things difficult for us, which is clearly what happened with you. I think you're doing everything possible for Mojo now, which is very responsible of you.

As for the thymoma... strange, our oncologist told us that thymoma was a GOOD kind of tumor to have if a dog was going to have a tumor, as it's very likely that it will be a benign tumor. A 1% chance of it being benign seems... well, wrong. I think there are different ways it can manifest itself - Carmella's was encapsulated, meaning that they literally just sort of popped it out and that was that. I think some thymomas are a little more difficult to remove.

I'm sure you're already doing this but make sure you check the color of his gums and tongue regularly. We noticed for a long time that Carmella's color was off, but it never dawned on us that something was seriously wrong until it was almost too late.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Please dont worry about me feeling bad about his weight...I have been torturing myself about it for the past two years, he would have been better off being surrendered to a family that could really take care of him the best way possible, and I selfishly kept him because he really is the light of my life. There was so much going on that he is and was my personal refuge, the one thing in my entire life that is mine, and the one true, unadulterated, self-less love a person can ever have and count on. He looks at me with that big goofy golden grin, and no matter how sick I am or what new disaster is happening, at that moment, it is just him and I, best friends. I know that sounds corny but it is the best way I can describe how I feel about him. He really is my best friend!!! 

Dr. Kraiza kind of shocked me with the thymoma, I hadn't even heard of it before even though I have been researching canine cancer non stop since his first vet visit. She was very serious when she said that although thymomas are often operable, it would be a grave diagnosis, as she would be fairly certain that his rapid breathing now would not just be a result of the pred but more than likely the myesthenia gravis, and that alone could kill him. I am so confused. I asked Laura, the vet tech, before I left what she honestly thought, and she said that her gut tells her this is bad, and she honestly feels it is hemangiosarcoma; and if so, she feels he will go into severe and sudden distress (she too told me to check his gums, ect, which I have been doing non stop, it is starting to bug him!) and will need to be taken in to the vet or er immediately to be euthanized. To say I was beyond overwhelmed and confused after this is an understatement. I literally watched him all night long, and he watched me right back, the poor special boy is exhausted! I did ask the vet tech too what she thought about about the thymoma possibly being benign (his blood levels seemed so good- the calcium, glucose, white and red cell counts, ect that I was actually starting to wonder if he even had a cancerous tumor at all???), and she too said it is possible but not probable, and she is really leaning toward hemangio. So much so, that she offered to send me the number of a vet ambulance because she is quite certain he will need it within a day or too. Ugh I don't even know how to make sense of all of this.

So...thank you for all of your suggestions and information, I am waiting waiting waiting to hear what my primary, Dr. Debolt, and Dr Kraiza think about all of this. I do know that Dr Debolt honestly feels there is a mass in his abdomen also, and that it is lymphoma, and Dr. Kraiza truly feels it is more than likely a thymoma and there is no ab mass, and in a perfect world if I could afford it I would go to a third vet and see what they think, but I am running out of options. So I will talk to them and go from there. In the meantime, if anyone wants to buy a BEAUTIFUL mink coat let me know!!! I am from Syracuse, NY, and in better days was given a beautiful, hand made mink. Now that I live in South Florida, and really need to sell it to contribute to these tests(I honestly dont need a mink in my closet, when the real fur I want is my special boy smiling at me again!!!), there isn't much of a market for mink coats when the average daily temperature ten months a year is 90. So if I can get rid of that I will in a minute. And I also have a beautiful vintage white leather knee length dress coat with fox fur (these were both christmas gifts, and I honestly couldn't get past my love for animals to ever get into wearing either of them) that I would also part with in a minute if it would pay for any of his tests that he need. So if anyone knows anyone that would be interested, I am desperate to come up with the funds for his tests and although they have sentimental value, my Mojo means more to me than anything else. I would honestly sell my soul right now to get somewhere with this nightmare, I really would.

Thanks...Ill keep you posted...give all of your special babies a hug from us...

Mary and Mojo


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

By the way, that beautiful picture of Carmella just melts my heart, she is just so angelic and peaceful and stoic in that picture...you must miss her very much. She is just a dollface. They are so darn perfect!! Thank you again for all of your advice and comments and thoughts, I really mean it, all of you. Thank you.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Thanks Mary for keeping us updated and you have my email for over the weekend, please use it and I will help whatever way I can.....Kimberly


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

I am holding Mojo and you in my thoughts. I am so glad that the vet tech gave you the ambulance number to call in case Mojo needs it right away. I am so very sorry how scarey this all is, but right now we must make sure that Mojo doesn't go through any pain and suffering.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Christmas comes early this year for MOJO!!!YAY!!!!!! Please read the email I got from heaven last night!!!:
Hi Mary it's Laura Dr Kraizas tech
Just wanted to let you know I have made arraignments for mojo to have the tests he needs done at FVRC free of charge we don't normally do this, as a business we couldn't afford to, but I begged the practice managers and they gave in. Let me know when and if lemon bay can get the other tests done and we'll go from there. In the mean time look up Sarasota veterinary emergency on the internet you will find a link to vetmedexpress there. She can transport mojo night or day. I will call my friends at the ER and tell them about mojo.
Mary things happen for a reason, we meet the people we do for a reason .....I to have lupus and a seizure disorder funny isn't it?
Hang in there!
Laura



Will post more later, I am in shock with happiness and unbelievable gratefulness!!!!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Laura, the vet tech, is an ABSOLUTE ANGEL-she was heaven sent.
God Bless Her! This is nothing short of a miracle!!

Please make sure you first contact the Sarasota Emergency Hospital and have all the info near your phone in case you need it. 

Let us know what Lemon Bay can do and then let Laura know and you will have to contact Alesia and Mark for help getting Mojo there for his tests.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi Karen...I did hear back from Mark and Alesia last night when I got the news from Laura, they are all AMAZING human beings, I just cannot get over it. Mark said he'd be happy to transport if he is available, I am waiting to hear back from Laura now as to when I can get him in. Definitely asap, he is eating, gums are good, he is breathing rapidly/panting but some of that is probably from the prednisone, but he is weak and we don't have time to waste. I am going to be forever grateful to all of you for your help and advice and support, it has kept me focused on care instead of the thought of losing him, and it honestly has relaxed him now that he isn't looking at me every second like "why are you crying so hard, what is wrong??"...so thank you!!

Laura contacted the Sarasota er and they have all of Mojo's info; I also have theirs and the number for a pet ambulance (never knew one existed, amazing!), so I just pray he can hang on until we can get this figured out!! I am starting to lean more towards the thymoma as well, he just isn't presenting the classic lymphoma symptoms as much as the thymoma symptoms. The mass is big enough to where if it is hemangiosarcoma (there was no indication of this from his blood work, it was just a hunch of Laura's), he would have been in major distress and/or passed away by now. Saying prayers he just hangs on a few more days!!!


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

Just finished reading this thread from start to the end. My heart about burst open, as the flood gates open. Geeez this is tough reading! Sending prayers and best wishes for you and Mojo. Keep us posted. Godspeed.
I often wonder about life in Florida with a golden. My DH and I are moving back in four years, as soon as my youngest graduates from high school - 2015. Can't take the winters here anymore. Moved here from Clearwater and hoping to get to St. Augustine, if job transfer goes through. Probably have to go on early morning walks and late evening walks if my memory serves with the heat index and humidity.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi there....yes Florida is brutal on big hairy dogs!!! My Golden boy Dallas went to the Rainbow Bridge about a month before I moved here; every day prior to his liver cancer diagnosis, I was worried about what the heat would do to him. I lived in Syracuse, and as you know it snows about 7 months a year so it was a HUGE change. Dallas had started developing arthritis and about a month into the winter, I would let him out, he would lay down, and that was that, he was done for most of the winter, so Florida would probably have made him feel better. I adopted Mojo about a year after living here, so he was already a Florida dog. All of the dogs in my neighborhood are super small toy types, he is by far the biggest guy around. We walk LATE, although even late here it is HOT. He is wiped when we get home, so we were doing more frequent, shorter walks before he got sick. Even after short walks, he is hot, and so far there is no sign of cooling off. I think after the first really hot season your pup will be fine!! They seem to adjust to anything as long as they are with their special person!!! Clearwater isn't too far from here, as you know, so I am sure you remember the heat well. It does beat 7 feet of snow 24/7 tho!!!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I just read this thread from start to finish... Mary, I am adding my positive, healing thoughts for you and Mojo. What a wonderful network of help and support you have found. I am so happy, and I hope you have some answers about Mojo soon. 

You definitely came to the right place - we DO all understand your love and devotion to your guy. He sounds wonderful. Give him a big hug and kiss.

Thinking of you both..


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## Lestorm (Feb 25, 2007)

Special healing prayers winging their way to you Mojo. Hugs from all of us to you all xxxx Stay strong and positive. xxxx


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

MaryLovesMojo said:


> Christmas comes early this year for MOJO!!!YAY!!!!!! Please read the email I got from heaven last night!!!:
> Hi Mary it's Laura Dr Kraizas tech
> Just wanted to let you know I have made arraignments for mojo to have the tests he needs done at FVRC free of charge we don't normally do this, as a business we couldn't afford to, but I begged the practice managers and they gave in. Let me know when and if lemon bay can get the other tests done and we'll go from there. In the mean time look up Sarasota veterinary emergency on the internet you will find a link to vetmedexpress there. She can transport mojo night or day. I will call my friends at the ER and tell them about mojo.
> Mary things happen for a reason, we meet the people we do for a reason .....I to have lupus and a seizure disorder funny isn't it?
> ...



This is certainly kind of them. Hopefully these tests will get all the answers needed for you and Mojo now.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary and Mojo

Praying you both slept well last night!
See you later on today on here.
Alesia, Mark,Laura and the Doctors-they are all MOJO's ANGELS!!!


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

Glad Mojo is eating well, that's definitely good to hear! Continuing with the good thoughts and love to you both


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mojo and Mary*

Mojo and Mary

Praying you both are having a beautiful day.
Let us know when you've scheduled Mojo's tests for.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

This is good news Mary!

I am hoping it is an encapsulated thymoma - that's the best kind, although it does require surgery. 

Good luck, I will be thinking of you and Mojo.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Praying Mojo was able to have those two tests today. 
myasthenia gravis titer and flow cytometry pull 
Pease keep us posted.
The only way Ken and I could afford all of the expsnsive tests was to use the Care Credit at our vet. Talk to your vet and see if you can get this or just make payments to them.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

I am very happy you are finding a way to help Mojo. When you did not contact me this weekend I figured either you found a way or it was bad news, I glad it was the first guess. Please let us know how it goes...Kimberly


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## Mr. Bojangles (Sep 15, 2011)

Please PM me or email me @ [email protected]. If you still need it, I'd like to help with the vet bills. My Bo was recently diagnosed with cancer and it threw my whole world upside down. I can't think of a better time to do a good deed and get some good karma for both of our goldens!


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi everyone... Mojo is not looking great...very worn out, I am praying hard that I can get him in tomorrow. They wanted to do the two tests today originally (THANK YOU KAREN for updating for me, I have been scrambling like a maniac all day today, and everything that could go wrong, did. In a major way. And again ,the one constant love and happiness is the Moj, even sick, he is looking at me like I am just silly)....anyway, fed ex couldn't pick the tests up after the 5:30 appt, and apparently they had to go out right after they are taken or they aren't viable, so tomorrow morning at 9:30 it is. I am going to do everything I can to get there. I love my vet, but they are completely rigid on payments, ect, sometimes to the point of being very short. I asked nicely today if there was any way they could give me an extra few days to come up with the money (I am a transient, I have lived here 7 years) but they said fine, then come for the tests in a few days. I do understand this, anything could happen and they have a business to run, and it costs money to send these tests out, so I am not being critical. And it certainly isn't there fault that my life and body fell apart this bad this fast!!! But so be it... I will keep trying....thank you so much for your prayers, we need them, my Mojo has a chance I just know it, he just needs me to not give up, not yet anyway.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

oops I mean to write " I am NOT a transient"...yikes, I am just not with it today


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Please say extra prayer for my angel tonight.......God love my special boy, but He could never love him as much as I do.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I hope everything works out for tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers will continue for Mojo and for you!!


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## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

Prayers to you and Mojo.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hoping they take me today....I am going anyway, if he has to stay there until I can pay for everything, then that's how it will be, he can't wait another day, I can feel his time ticking away from me, my heart hurts so bad, thank you for your prayers. I hope if any of you go through this, you know you can count on me for support or anything else I can do, I don't want anyone to ever ever feel this horribly broken hearted, lonely, or scared, I just cant live without this special boy


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Praying for Mojo and you.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Your Buddy is beautiful....you must miss him so much...

Thank you for that verse....you know, the other night we were sitting outside in the grass, the first night in months and months it was cool enough to; it was really late , 2 am'ish...and I just held him and told him I wish we could run fast, faster than cancer, and let it try to catch us...I wish I could, outrun it for him...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary
Sent you an email. How is Mojo?
Goldens wag their tails even when in pain.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi...that's what I am afraid of...being in pain (him)...we are leaving for the vet at 9:00, I still hope they can do the tests and maybe help him with his breathing, I am praying so hard that he can hold on until we know what kind of cancer it is...thymoma is so operable, I have applications into funding places ready for when we have a definitive diagnosis....I won't, however, make him live through another night of not breathing well...that is the worst feeling, and he doesn't deserve it. I will keep you posted, please pray for my special boy, I can't even bear the thought that I may come home by myself, without him, I can't bear it, but I will do what needs to be done. Hugs to all of your babies...and prayers for all that have left already...xoxoxo from me and the Moj 

Ps- we have this stupid thing the neighbor kids made up...the best friends club...except me and Mojo are the only ones in it...lol...I was talking to him about it last night, that he is my best forever friend...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

I know you will do what is the kindest thing for Mojo. 
Perhaps they can give Mojo some oxygen right away-they did that for my Smooch right before we had to send her to the Bridge.
Please go with him and please let us know.

Ask the vet what would they do if it was their dog.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Thinking of you and Mojo, Mary. I think you must be at the vet's right now. I hope they are doing the tests and helping to make Mojo more comfortable. Know we are all thinking of you guys... I really hope it goes well. Big hugs to Mojo..


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mojo and Mary*

Mojo and Mary

As Sweet Girl said I know you both are at the vet right now, and I am praying for God's will and for what is best for Mojo.


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## baumgartml16 (Jun 19, 2011)

Praying for you and Mojo! Hope everything goes well at the vet's today. Can't imagine your pain but he knows he is so very loved.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Thinking of you and Mojo today Mary, please let us know the outcome and stay strong. He knows he is loved. Kimberly


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I hope everything goes good at the vets. Hugs to you and Mojo.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mojo*

Checking in on Mojo and you.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Praying*

Checking in on Mojo and you.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi.....went in for the tests, he was not cooperating at all, kept trying to pull me back out the front door, it was heart wrenching. They tried to carry him down the hall for his tests, that wasn't going to happen, so they drew the blood in the room with me. He wasn't breathing well, and the vet there had never done a myasthenia gravis test nor treated for it, never done a flow cytometry or treated a thymoma, so it was upsetting to try and figure out what to do. She said most people aren't even going to specialists when she referrs out, due to the economy. How tragic, but true. His breathing is bad enough that she sent me home with him to think things over. I talked to Dr Kraiza's office when I got here, she seems to think that even if I get down there this week, which I would, there is still no guarantee to any outcome. Both vets seem to think prognosis is poor, but there is always a chance. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. My heart is telling me never to let him go, but my brain sees this poor boy and know he deserves to live with dignity. My heart is breaking so much worse than I ever thought possible. Both vets did think that because he is still eating, he is fighting. But then said, fighting for what is unknown. God I don't know what to do!!! Even if I wait until Dr Kraiza's office, if it is lymphoma we start chemo, if it is thymoma, surgery, and he will still suffering before any benefits to either of these occurs, if he lives that long. He absolutely panics being there (he is fine when it is just me and him, but as soon as someone else walks in, he gets so nervous), so is it right to expect him to fight if he is already so exhausted?? I just don't know that I will ever know if I am making the right decision, no matter what decision I make. I wish it was him and not me, I honestly never thought I would ever out live him, never. I can't imagine one minute on this planet without my special boy, but I don't want him here suffering while we are all trying to make him better. Which is worse?? Not fighting, or fighting too much???


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

How heartbreaking. Did they give you anything for his breathing? Why did they not sedate him? I am so sorry...K


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

This is heartbreaking. How is Mojo doing now. Did they give him something to help him with his breathing?

I emld. you both of my phone numbers. Do you want to talk.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Mojo is counting on you-don't let him suffer. If he is having trouble breathing then he is in pain. Call the pet ambulance girl.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I'm so sorry it didn't go so well at the vet's. Follow your heart and what Mojo tells you. If he's eating and doesn't appear to be suffering, then pursuing the tests sounds like it's worth it.

But you'll know. He'll let you know.

My best wishes to you both..


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary and Mojo

I prayed so very hard for Mojo and you last night. Looking for update.


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

Thinking of you and Mojo, along with everyone else.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Praying for Mojo and you very hard. May God be with you in this rough time.


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

Me too Mary, how is Mojo this morning? Is he still with us? K


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mojo*

Mojo and Mary

So worried that we haven't heard anything.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*God Bless Mojo*

*God Bless Mojo-May he Rest In Peace*

I am so very sorry to have to share this very sad news. When I didn't hear from Mary, I asked Alesia of GRRSWF call her and Alesia sent me an email that Mojo was at the Bridge.

Mojo went to the Rainbow Bridge on October 4th. He had a collapsed lung and the other lung was filling with fluid.

Mary is absolutely devastated, but I pray she will return here.

MOJO and MARY had so many angels on and off this forum, that were willing to do anything they could to help. I know Mary and Mojo are so grateful!


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## elly (Nov 21, 2010)

I have only just picked up this thread and I am broken hearted for you both. I am so so sorry. Run free lovely boy, go find our lovely angels at the bridge, no more pain or suffering. Mary, please know there are so many people here surrounding you with care and love who feel your pain. Mojo will always stay by your side and your heart will always be filled with the love and memories you shared together,..may those memories help turn your tears to smiles in time and the love fill you with the warmth of a golden hug xx


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

Mary, I have just finished this entire thread....I just wanted to let you know my heart goes out to you. You gave Mojo the greatest and most dificult gift to give. You gave this beautiful boy peace....I will be think of you...Dawn


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Poor Mary and Mojo... she gave him the last gift she could by providing him with a peaceful end. She must be hurting so much inside now. Rest in peace, Mojo.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Oh, no! I am so sad reading this. Karen, thank you for letting us know. 

My heart is just breaking for Mary - I know how deeply she loved Mojo and wanted to do everything for him. I hope she comes back, too. Mary, I'm so sorry.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Karen519 said:


> *God Bless Mojo-May he Rest In Peace*
> 
> I am so very sorry to have to share this very sad news. When I didn't hear from Mary, I asked Alesia of GRRSWF call her and Alesia sent me an email that Mojo was at the Bridge.
> 
> ...


Such terrible news. So hard to lose them ever, but when they are clearly the whole world to their owner as Mojo was, it's just devastating. 

I hope Mary will come back, and I hope she can find a way to focus on good memories of him.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

Karen, thank you for letting us know....Im so sorry for Mary and Mojo...


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## Mr. Bojangles (Sep 15, 2011)

I am soooo sorry to hear about Mojo. I was really hoping we'd get some good news on him. Hopefully, he has met my Bo over the bridge, and they are running free!


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

I am so sorry that MoJo has gone to the Bridge. For whatever reason, I feel personally sad at the passing of every golden we get to know here, and MoJo is no exception. I know how devastated Mary must be and I only hope that she will be okay.


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

So sorry about Mojo, at least he is at the bridge and no longer in pain... hugs and kisses to Mary xx


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## T-Joy (Aug 22, 2011)

Oh, it's so sad to hear that(( I prayed and I hoped but, he just had to go...dear Mojo. It was his time, his date...
Stay in peace wonderful little soul and say hello to all our bridge babies.
Love forever

This morning I have just finished reading the book : "The Art Of Raicing In The Rain", written by Garth Stein, and I have need to post this in the name of Enzo and Mojo, and...all the other bridge babies  


"*“In Mongolia, when a dog dies, he is buried high in the hills so people cannot walk on his grave. The dog's master whispers into the dog's ear his wishes that the dog will return as a man in his next life. Then his tail is cut off and put beneath his head, and a piece of meat or fat is placed in his mouth to sustain his soul on its journey; before he is reincarnated, the dog's soul is freed to travel the land, to run across the high desert plains for as long as it would like. 

I learned that from a program on the National Geographic channel, so I believe it is true. Not all dogs return as men, they say; only those who are ready. 

I am ready.”* 

My heart goes out for you Mary... I am sure that he is happy now, no more pain, no more illeness!!!
Blessings...

Tania


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am so sorry Mary. Mojo was a gorgeous boy, true "old gold". It is so hard to accept the reality. You lost your best friend, I know how you feel. I hope your boy is in a better place now running free of pain. You gave him a lot of love and he knew it. And love doesn't die. The connection we had with our buddies is not broken, will just take different form.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

It is hard to come on here, reading my first post, that seems like years and years ago, but it was only two weeks ago, how can that be??? It is so quiet here, and although I hate it, I just hate it more than words can say, the sound of him breathing oh so hard is also gone, and that gives me some peace. I never wanted him to struggle, it is such a fine line between having hope and making him suffer, and I never ever wanted one minute of his life to be spent suffering, I tried so hard to make sure that from the first second he came into my life, he would never suffer again, he had suffered so much in the first year of his life. To have him go so fast is just so unreal. I am so very sorry to all of you who have gone through the loss of someone you love so much. I suppose I made a big mistake in putting every ounce of love and my entire life into my special boy, maybe it was too much for him, too much responsibility. I just couldn't help it, we were just a pair. I will post more pics, I took alot the last few days. I can't believe he is gone, and I can't believe how fortunate I was/am to find the most amazing, supportive, loyal and truly loving friends on this forum. I will never forget it, never. I was honestly ready to give up the other night, just quit, I couldn't take the loss of him, I just couldn't, I felt so alone and just couldn't deal with the grief, and I thought of all of the posts I had read from others going through the same thing, and you just do survive. I know that sounds so ridiculous, to put so much into a pet, and I certainly never set out to do that. But so much happened the last 7 years, and Mojo was the one constant and positive and happy light through it all. When he was going to have a seizure, he would just look at me and I could feel it, even more than I could feel when I was going to have one. So weird. I miss him so much. I just miss him so much. Lots of love and prayers to all of you and special wishes that all of your Golden babies live very long and healthy and happy lives. xoxoxo Thank you so much for your help and friendship, I will never forget it. Without all of you, and everything you have done for Moj, he wouldn't have even had the chance to fight, and I thank you so much for that chance.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Thank you for the pic of him at the bridge....it is so special...when I first read about the bridge, I thought "no way, Mojo would HATE that!!! He would just be looking for me, like he is at the dog park, the dog beach, the vet, pretty much everywhere we have been that he's free to just take off- something else he has NEVER done."...and the more I think about it now, it is wonderful to think of him being able to run and play with other Golden buddies, without always having to worry about me, that "oh no, where's my Mom?" look on his face....he loved other Goldens, he would go bananas every time he saw one on tv, walking down the road, on the computer, anything!!! If I said "aww, look at the Golden Retriever"...he would do the highest pitch bark and twist around, it was so cute, and then he would get nervous that was paying attention to anyone but him. So now he is free to play with his Golden friends and not worry about me...and I am happy for that...he deserves it!!! I miss you Moj!!!!


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Mary, all of us try to live up to be the people that our dogs would expect so certainly no thanks are needed. And in no way was it wrong to invest so much emotionally into Mojo..... that is a great great blessing afforded to very few. And of course, to whom much is given, much is expected in return. So, in this circle of life, we are so blessed to have these fur companions who in their short stay have so much to teach us... unconditional love, acceptance, living in the moment, and servitude..... and yes, letting go.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Mary, I'm so glad you came back. We so understand your pain. And I agree with Penny and Maggie's Mum - there is nothing at all wrong with giving so much emotionally to your dog. They are wonderful furry beings, who bring so much joy and love to us.

I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through. I'm glad thinking of Mojo no longer suffering is bringing you some peace.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

I am so glad you came back and please continue to come back. I know Mojo is enjoying the Rainbow Bridge and when we die we will all be reunited.

Please use the wonderful people here as support-we all do-we're like a big, happy, family and share our love of animals!


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## Martasa (Jul 13, 2011)

Just read this thread from the start and am inspired by your commitment to Mojo and by the way members rallied to your aid.
Sooo very sorry for your loss, sounds like you gave him the love he deserved after a rough start right until the end.
Sleep tight Mojo


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## Waggily Tail (Jan 11, 2009)

Mary, so very sorry about Mojo. My heart goes out to you.


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## missingbelle (Aug 1, 2011)

My heart goes out to you, Mary. It sounds as if you and Mojo had an amazing bond. A bond that I'm sure transcends this physical Earth. He will always be with you. 

Thinking of you during this difficult time.


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Having a really bad night....God I miss him SO MUCH...it is just starting to really hit me that he isn't coming back...I never thought my heart was capable of hurting this bad....ugh I miss him...thank you all for being here, it's the only thing that keeps me sane...miss you Moj xoxoxoxo


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

I just want to say thank you again....SO MANY PEOPLE were willing to help, with kind words, love, support, financial help, I am so overwhelmed with the gratitude I feel for everyone, words can never say how much I appreciated it, and still do...without everyone here, I never would have been able to even give him a fighting chance, and I would have never been able to live with myself if he didn't have at least that....he deserved so much more...so THANK YOU....hugs to my special boy xoxoxo


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

Mojo knows how much you loved him. I am so very sorry you are hurting!


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

Thinking of you today. 
We all know how hard the pain is when you lose your loyal, loving companion. 
Godspeed~


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## KiwiD (Jan 14, 2008)

So sorry to hear about Mojo


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary

So very sorry you have insomnia-I know how bad that can be. 
Glad you come on here for company!!
Do you still have the Teddy Bear that Mojo was snuggling in one of the pictures?


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## MaryLovesMojo (Sep 20, 2011)

Hi, yes I still have it, it was the most recent one I had gotten him (two days before he went to the bridge). It is hard for me to even look at it; it is a major reminder of how sick he was. See, Moj had this OBSESSION with stuffed animals...major obsession...and if he saw one, it was HIS. That's it. He then would instantly, and within seconds, remove the eyes from them. I literally had hundreds of "blind" stuffed animals when I moved into this house. He LOVED his blind babies!!! He never swallowed the eyes, he spit them out promptly, but it was actually kind of creepy being surrounded by stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes with no eyes at all. If he got bored, and didn't get a new baby in a while, he would revisit the old ones and remove the stuffing from where the eyes used to be, and then leave it with a deflated head and no eyes. He was interesting!!! I thought a new comfy baby would cheer him up...he ALWAYS was carrying a baby, and some were HUGE- like from fairs, ect, and some were teenie weenie, and he would carry one around and when he was ready to lay down, he would drop it and use it as a pillow. I knew he wasn't going to bounce back, I just knew it, when on Monday I gave him his new baby, and he just laid it down and put his head on it, eyes intact. I just knew. He had this new baby with him when he went to sleep for the last time, and I sleep with it every night. That, and about 20 of his blind babies. They all smell like him, a wonderful, precious, sweet smell (he loved baths, thank God), and it's the only way I get any sleep. This is really getting nuts. I miss him so much, so much I just can't stand it. I know it sounds nutty, but his last night, he wasn't breathing well, and we went outside, and it had finally gotten "chilly"...ie 70's...and we wrapped up in a sheet and laid on the grass in the front yard (I may have told this already, sorry if I am repeating myself)...I was laying on my back, looking up at the stars, and he was sitting up next to me, so I was staring right past his magnificent face and past, onto the stars...we picked a star, a very bright star, the brightest one, and I told him it was ok to let go, he didn't have to fight for me any more, and I was sorry for making him fight this long. I told him how proud of him I was, and what an honor it was, being his Mom and very best friend, and that every night, I was going to go outside at 4 am (that's what time it was then), and I would lay in that spot, and look up at the stars, and I would tell him about my day and tell him I miss him and love him and think about him every second. I would tell him to run and play and not worry about me. So that is what I do. I go outside every night, and look up at the stars right at that spot, and the brightest one is always my Mojo star, and I tell him I wish he was still here, and how I would give my life to see him again, and how happy I am that he is not suffering any more, and I ask him to watch over me and try to help me not go crazy without him. I then can fall asleep. I know it will get easier, eventually, but right now I just want him back. And that is the closest I will get, talking to a star at 4am. My neighbors must think I am a nutter. Yikes.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss of Mojo. You will miss him forever. It will get easier. If I was your neighbor I would not think you are a nut (or maybe we are both nuts) because I still speak to the stars every night. I have many stars I talk to each night. So you are not alone in that department. Thoughts and prayers will be with you as you mourn the loss of your boy!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary:

What you wrote is just beautiful! Mojo will always be with you.





MaryLovesMojo said:


> Hi, yes I still have it, it was the most recent one I had gotten him (two days before he went to the bridge). It is hard for me to even look at it; it is a major reminder of how sick he was. See, Moj had this OBSESSION with stuffed animals...major obsession...and if he saw one, it was HIS. That's it. He then would instantly, and within seconds, remove the eyes from them. I literally had hundreds of "blind" stuffed animals when I moved into this house. He LOVED his blind babies!!! He never swallowed the eyes, he spit them out promptly, but it was actually kind of creepy being surrounded by stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes with no eyes at all. If he got bored, and didn't get a new baby in a while, he would revisit the old ones and remove the stuffing from where the eyes used to be, and then leave it with a deflated head and no eyes. He was interesting!!! I thought a new comfy baby would cheer him up...he ALWAYS was carrying a baby, and some were HUGE- like from fairs, ect, and some were teenie weenie, and he would carry one around and when he was ready to lay down, he would drop it and use it as a pillow. I knew he wasn't going to bounce back, I just knew it, when on Monday I gave him his new baby, and he just laid it down and put his head on it, eyes intact. I just knew. He had this new baby with him when he went to sleep for the last time, and I sleep with it every night. That, and about 20 of his blind babies. They all smell like him, a wonderful, precious, sweet smell (he loved baths, thank God), and it's the only way I get any sleep. This is really getting nuts. I miss him so much, so much I just can't stand it. I know it sounds nutty, but his last night, he wasn't breathing well, and we went outside, and it had finally gotten "chilly"...ie 70's...and we wrapped up in a sheet and laid on the grass in the front yard (I may have told this already, sorry if I am repeating myself)...I was laying on my back, looking up at the stars, and he was sitting up next to me, so I was staring right past his magnificent face and past, onto the stars...we picked a star, a very bright star, the brightest one, and I told him it was ok to let go, he didn't have to fight for me any more, and I was sorry for making him fight this long. I told him how proud of him I was, and what an honor it was, being his Mom and very best friend, and that every night, I was going to go outside at 4 am (that's what time it was then), and I would lay in that spot, and look up at the stars, and I would tell him about my day and tell him I miss him and love him and think about him every second. I would tell him to run and play and not worry about me. So that is what I do. I go outside every night, and look up at the stars right at that spot, and the brightest one is always my Mojo star, and I tell him I wish he was still here, and how I would give my life to see him again, and how happy I am that he is not suffering any more, and I ask him to watch over me and try to help me not go crazy without him. I then can fall asleep. I know it will get easier, eventually, but right now I just want him back. And that is the closest I will get, talking to a star at 4am. My neighbors must think I am a nutter. Yikes.


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## T-Joy (Aug 22, 2011)

You make me cry each time I am reading you Mary...
You are expressing your feelings and I can't not to think that we are of the same kind...
He is still and forever with his forever mom, YOU.

Love
Tania


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## hubbub (Jun 28, 2011)

Your story brought tears to my eyes. I imagine that telling Mojo it was ok to let go was incredible difficult, but also I know it was very brave. They bring such joy our lives it's difficult to explain to those who don't know. 

A friend told me the other day that after nearly 2 years, she's finally in a position to clean the nose prints off her window. She's not able to provide a proper home to another pet right now and her grief has been immense. From what you have shared, it sounds like Mojo guided you through some incredibly rough patches, as did my friend's dog. I'm glad you found this forum and hope that it can provide some continued comfort to you in the time ahead. 

And...if your neighbors ask, tell them your just checking on your "dog star"


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## Jo's Goldens (Jan 23, 2009)

MaryLovesMojo said:


> Hi, yes I still have it, it was the most recent one I had gotten him (two days before he went to the bridge). It is hard for me to even look at it; it is a major reminder of how sick he was. See, Moj had this OBSESSION with stuffed animals...major obsession...and if he saw one, it was HIS. That's it. He then would instantly, and within seconds, remove the eyes from them. I literally had hundreds of "blind" stuffed animals when I moved into this house. He LOVED his blind babies!!! He never swallowed the eyes, he spit them out promptly, but it was actually kind of creepy being surrounded by stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes with no eyes at all. If he got bored, and didn't get a new baby in a while, he would revisit the old ones and remove the stuffing from where the eyes used to be, and then leave it with a deflated head and no eyes. He was interesting!!! I thought a new comfy baby would cheer him up...he ALWAYS was carrying a baby, and some were HUGE- like from fairs, ect, and some were teenie weenie, and he would carry one around and when he was ready to lay down, he would drop it and use it as a pillow. I knew he wasn't going to bounce back, I just knew it, when on Monday I gave him his new baby, and he just laid it down and put his head on it, eyes intact. I just knew. He had this new baby with him when he went to sleep for the last time, and I sleep with it every night. That, and about 20 of his blind babies. They all smell like him, a wonderful, precious, sweet smell (he loved baths, thank God), and it's the only way I get any sleep. This is really getting nuts. I miss him so much, so much I just can't stand it. I know it sounds nutty, but his last night, he wasn't breathing well, and we went outside, and it had finally gotten "chilly"...ie 70's...and we wrapped up in a sheet and laid on the grass in the front yard (I may have told this already, sorry if I am repeating myself)...I was laying on my back, looking up at the stars, and he was sitting up next to me, so I was staring right past his magnificent face and past, onto the stars...we picked a star, a very bright star, the brightest one, and I told him it was ok to let go, he didn't have to fight for me any more, and I was sorry for making him fight this long. I told him how proud of him I was, and what an honor it was, being his Mom and very best friend, and that every night, I was going to go outside at 4 am (that's what time it was then), and I would lay in that spot, and look up at the stars, and I would tell him about my day and tell him I miss him and love him and think about him every second. I would tell him to run and play and not worry about me. So that is what I do. I go outside every night, and look up at the stars right at that spot, and the brightest one is always my Mojo star, and I tell him I wish he was still here, and how I would give my life to see him again, and how happy I am that he is not suffering any more, and I ask him to watch over me and try to help me not go crazy without him. I then can fall asleep. I know it will get easier, eventually, but right now I just want him back. And that is the closest I will get, talking to a star at 4am. My neighbors must think I am a nutter. Yikes.


I just finished reading through all the posts here and I wish to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I can tell you loved Mojo so very much and did all that you could for him. It is never easy to lose our friends, but the hurt and pain you feel now will one day be replaced will all the happy memories you shared.
They never truly leave us, as they always live in our hearts. 
Sending you gentle hugs.

RIP Mojo, may you run freely through the green grass at Rainbow Bridge and play with all our bridge kids until we can all reunite one day.


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## gemmy (Aug 20, 2011)

Mary, you are such a strong, wonderful person. You did the right thing for Mojo and he will ALWAYS be with you


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mojo*

Mojo is at peace and running free with all of our babies at the Rainbow Bridge.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

On 15th is going to be 5 months since I hugged my boy last time. Not so much changed since then, I feel like part of my died that day and nothing could bring it back. I still cant go and look at the pictures, just short zoom in and then I cry a lot. Have a few hidden spots in the house with his marks I keep an eye on, so nobody will clean them or move them away. His leash is next to his ashes, thousands of time I had it in my hands to take my boy for walk. I wish we had more time, I wish they are still with us.
I am sorry Mary, I wish never anyone has to go thru this pain.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Buddy's Mom*

Buddy's Mom

Brings me to tears reading what you wrote about Buddy.


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