# Lost the Light of my Life ..



## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

So sorry you lost your girl, they bring so much love to our lives, and when they pass, such a empty sad feeling.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Mattie. I agree, the pain, loss, and emptiness you feel is unbearable and there are no words really to describe how you feel.

There are too many of us who know what you're going through, I am one of them. I lost my boy almost 2 years ago at the age of 15.5. We were devastated and miss him everyday. 

Time will help ease your pain, each day will get a littler easier, although you will always miss them. I hope the day will come where you will be able to find peace in knowing that Mattie is at the Rainbow Bridge with so many of our Goldens. I find comfort in knowing that my boy is no longer in pain, he is running free, enjoying life like he once did as a pup, and waiting for me to join him.

My heart goes out to you.

Godspeed sweet Mattie


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

I am so very sorry about your loss. It is such a hard thing when we lose our beloved pets. I still cry after 6 months of Allie being gone. I am alone and she was my world. My life still is very empty without my girl. Just be very kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. Do you have another dog? I still had my Bessy so that helped some. It was pretty hard on her too. I am sending hugs and prayers. I do know and feel your pain. I couldn't eat or sleep or do anything. Then my vet talked to me and told me Allie wouldn't want me to do that to myself because she loved me so much. She helped me so much to get through the pain. Take care of yourself.


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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss and I well know the pain you are feeling. We lost our 15 year old eskie this past summer and it is such a difficult time. Sending hugs your way.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I am so very sorry.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh, I am sorry and I know that feeling all too well, having lost 3 goldens and now caring for a golden fighting cancer. I think writing helps and even though it brings it all to the front again, at least for me I've always needed to do that. There are excellent threads on this forum and maybe you can begin a thread to put your thoughts into.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mattie*

My heart goes out to you! Hemangiosarcoma is evil.
I know Mattie is romping with my Smooch and Snobear.
I added her to the 2012 Golden Ret. Rainbow Bridge list.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...-goldens-passed-2012-list-25.html#post1872802


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

*Thank you..*

Heartfelt thanks to each one of you who cares and responded so quickly to my cry for help .. Mattie (and Sheeba) were the closest loves I will have to a non-furbaby child, as we do not have children .. and so they both were the center of my life. My heart had forgotten the pain and sadness I went thru when I lost Sheeba, the love of Mattie had crowded out those sad memories I guess, but now I remember all too well .. I'm sorry if I ramble, but I know you'all understand. I think I'm slowly moving into the guilt phase where I always get stuck with any of my grief.. I can barely stand to be at home now, it's just so lonesome .. I have been retired a couple of years, in hopes to have a lot of time to spend with Mattie, and I am very thankful for those 2 extra years, and during this time we had grown even closer if that was even possible.. Oh how she loved me and I couldn't save her ... this pic was taken Nov 17 ..u can see what a sweetheart .. I don't know how to stop crying... Thank you for caring... sheebamattiemom


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this pain. We all understand. I too never had children so my furbabies have been my kids. She is beautiful and I know she is still watching over you. It is one minute at a time right now.


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## Mayve (Aug 21, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Mattie! Thank you for sharing a picture of her. And yep, many of us understand what you are feeling. Please feel free to share her with us and let us help you grieve. Hugs and Prayers to you!


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## Helo's Mom (Oct 16, 2011)

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Mattie. She looks so much like Helo. Like someone else said, just take it a day at a time. I still cry for my beautiful Leo who passed away almost 3 years ago. He was the love of my life. Having Helo and Marilyn helps.


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## Vinnie's Mom (Jun 9, 2012)

My heart breaks for you. I understand not being able to stop crying as I went through that just 6 months ago. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Maddie was a beautiful girl. 


Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Welcome to the forum. My heart aches for you and I'm glad that you have found this community, where we do understand what you are going through. I hope that you will share more photos and stories about your lovely girl and let us help you work through your grief.


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## Georgiadogs (Feb 15, 2009)

Just know that as we are reading your posts, all of us are grieving along with you. Some as long as years and some like me, as of two weeks ago. so keep writing as it allows you to think out loud and get those thoughts out. Just putting them out there helps as you will find others that respond with those same thoughts and knowing your not alone, that someone does understand, does seem to help. we are all taking it one day at a time and hoping that we can find our way. I watched made a video we made of her last days, (which almost killed me when my 4 year old golden walked up to the tv because he recognized her and him) started writing my thoughts in this forum to share my grief and began writing down my 100 favorite memories of her as I remembered them (so I won't forget) which I will laminate and place under her urn (which is what I did with my last golden). Everyone has a different way to grieve and you have to find yours in your own way and time. I hope this helps you.
Fred


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So saddened that another beautiful girl, your Mattie ,has gone to the bridge. Sadly, like so many others here we have let 5 goldens go to the bridge, and the pain and the hurt that there loss leaves behind never goes away, but we do get a little bit better at coping with it.

When we lost Ginny (probably to the same as Mattie), a few days later I said to our vet that I would give anything to have my girl back again for just an hour, and he said to me "would you bring her back knowing she would be in pain and suffering?" and I was forced to admit that no, I wouldn't want that for her. Try and focus on your happy times, let your grief and tears flow free, and take comfort that people here understand what you are going through


Mom, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.​ 
My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.​ 
I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.​ 
I'm the colourful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.​ 
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.​ 
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.​ 
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, Mom, I'm everyplace!​
(author unknown to me) 
Run free and sleep softly Mattie


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## davebeech (Feb 11, 2006)

very sorry to hear about Mattie, I lost the centre of my world only 3 months ago and know how hard it is

Rest In Peace Mattie


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss.
I have lost two goldens to cancer and I know the heartache, as so many here do. 
Mattie was a beautiful girl!


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## LeilaM (Sep 14, 2012)

So sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful dog. Give yourself permission to grieve and cry as many tears as you need to. If you believe in a higher power pray for consolation and strength and perhaps the opportunity to see your beloved pet again one day.


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

*Thankful Heart*

I'm overwhelmed with all your kind comforting words.. I hope I am replying correctly, if not someone tell me .. I'm feeling so guilty that I didn't know that was the day... I SHOULD'VE known.. She was looking at me in a way she never had before, and did a couple of other things during the day that I SHOULD have known that was her last day, and that is tearing me apart right now ... our b/r where Mattie always slept is upstairs, so after we found out about her tumors, I started sleeping with her every night in our downstairs den ..just to save her from going up the stairs .. several nights, I layed right beside her, listening for her every breath, fearing it would be the last .. I did that for at least 2 1/2 weeks, then one night I went upstairs to bring down my pillow, etc., and I turned around and there she was! Upstairs .. so we started letting her sleep upstairs again... right beside us of course .. not in our bed, she never would do that, I started when she was a baby, but she didn't like it up there .. so she always slept in her bed right beside ours.. after that I would still wake up numerous times during the night and hold my breath to hear her breathe, and then I would say a thank you prayer when I heard her breathing ... the last night, she wanted to go 'nite nite' pretty early which wasn't that unusual .. so she and I went upstairs thru our normal routine about 8:30 .. dh came to bed about 9:30 and she was still in her bed then and seemed to be ok ... then at about 10:05 we both were awakened ... we both jumped up, and I knew it was the end .. she had moved to another spot in the floor where she sometimes slept, and I fell to the floor beside her, and she breathed a few short breaths and I held her and whispered I loved her, and she was gone .. I feel so bad that I didn't wake up sooner .. Please someone tell me that was the way it was supposed to happen, I can't cope with thinking I let her down .. She had almost 4 weeks of happiness that she wouldn't have had if we'd put her thru the surgery .. which may have given her max 2-3 months if she had survived the surgery .. but I don't know what quality of life she would have had either .. I try to find comfor in knowing she was happy and at home where she felt safe and secure.. she never liked going to the vet and I couldn't bear for her last hours to be spent somewhere that was scary to her .. I rarely left her side during the last 4 weeks... and when I did not more than it took to go to grocery store for more chicken.. I am a Christian, and I am a believer that our furbabies are in heaven ... I know that I will see her again, and that Sheeba, and my Mom & Dad are taking good care of her .. When my Dad who was about 85 at the time had major surgery due to a tractor accident, he lived with us for over a year, and as he was recuperating, he would walk outside around the house several times, and Mattie took every step with him.. that's the love of only a golden heart ... Sorry for the long post.. I have to talk about her, and my dh although is understanding, tires of seeing me grieve.. she loved him, and he, her, but you'all know the bond between only us and our baby...


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## love never dies (Jul 31, 2012)

*RIP - Mattie*

*Her Journey's Just Begun*​ 

Don't think of her
as gone away-
her journey has just begun.
Life holds many facets,
the Earth is only one.​ 
Just think of her
as resting from 
the sorrows and the tears,
in a place of
warmth and comfort
where there are 
no days and years.​ 
Think how
she must be wishing
that we could know today,
how nothing
but our sadness
can really pass away.​ 
And think of her
as living 
in the hearts
of those she touched,
For nothing loved
is ever lost-
And she was loved
so much.​ 
_Author Unknown_​


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

So very sorry for your loss of Mattie, your story is heartbreaking. Lovely photos of her too, thank you for sharing them, I can see what a sweet and gentle little soul she was.

Like many others on here we lost our precious golden almost a year ago now. You have definitely come to the right place where others understand what you're going through. Feel free to post stories and photos both of Mattie and Sheeba, we would love to hear more about them. Time will help you, and remember that they are always watching over you.


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## Oakley&SegersMom (Feb 1, 2009)

I am so sorry to hear about Mattie. What a beautiful name and a beautiful girl. I know only too well, as do many on this forum, the intense grief. I lost my Oakley on Nov 23rd and still find it difficult getting through a day without him. Know I am thinking of you. Rest peacefully Mattie.
Carol


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

I'm having a really tough day, as I did yesterday as well ... I went out for a few minutes just to try to collect myself, and then I feel worse because it's so sad coming back to the house where she was always patiently waiting... I find myself still thinking she'll be here when I get home... deep in the bottom of my soul I feel like I have a hollow spot, frightning at times to be in so much anguish.. I can barely bring myself to eat anything.. because Mattie was so much a part of our meals... she got so excited especially for salmon patties... doubt I'll ever be able to fix those ever again ... Please remember me in your prayers tonight .. thanks again for being so understanding and so compassionate .. I realize that many of you are going thru new grief as well, and I will be praying for comfort and peace for all of us ... {{{{hugs to each of you that has been so kind to me}}}} sheebamattiemom


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Praying*

Praying for you, it will get better as time goes on, but I KNOW THE LONELINESS. We are here for you.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Mattie is beautiful and the picture of her you took in Nov is really breathtaking. I think the fact that you woke up and you were able to be with her when she took her last breath is special -- you were with her and she died peacefully at her home.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

The depth of your grief will lessen, but not before it's time. Mattie left you exactly as she was meant to, with everyone snuggled in their beds, following a routine as old as she was. Dogs are stoics, and goldens never want to worry their people, so she kindly let you know just in time for you to hold her and kiss her goodbye as she got her angel wings. Please don't feel guilt; your Mattie wouldn't want you to. She knew and continues to know how much you loved her, that you did everything in your power to have her spend her last days in comfort and ease. She is smiling down on you, surrounded by a pack of beloved angels, all of whom were mourned as you are now mourning her. She's healthy and whole now, while you are not. Take all the time that you need, cry as much as you need to, and know that a whole bunch of us understand your overwhelming sorrow. I'm sorry Mattie's not here in the flesh, but she is snuggled tight in your heart, where she'll always be.


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## CarlosW9FE (Jul 17, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful girl Mattie. It's the hardest time of our lives to lose one of our faithful companions. Our prayers are with you that you'll receive peace and comfort during this time and to cherish all the memories you have of her. She'll always live in your heart forever.

Run free and play hard dear Mattie, our boy Rhett and many other Golden friends are waiting for you at the Bridge.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I doubt if there is anyone on this forum who has lost a precious golden that has not gone through the same thought process. We lost our Emmy in April to hemangiosarcoma and I kept saying to myself - what should I have done, why didn't I realize she had the tumor, did she know how much I loved her. In my heart I know I did everything for her and she knew how loved she was but those thoughts still creep in. We know how much you loved Mattie and Mattie definitely knew. You did everything possible but you have to remember that with hemangiosarcoma when the symptoms show up it is usually advanced. It is an evil disease. My thoughts are with you.


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## Buddysmyheart (Dec 28, 2011)

I'm so sorry you are going through this pain and heartbreak. We all truly understand how you feel, because we are all in various stages of grieving and healing. Mattie was beautiful; sweet, sweet face. We lost our Buddy 13 months ago and I am still missing him so. Grief is a process and you will go through many feelings for a long time. I am coping better now, but there is still a lingering sadness from his loss. I too believe we will be reunited someday, and pray that my loved ones in heaven are watching over him. Be kind to yourself and don't second guess...it only brings pain and no real answers. After being a member of this forum for over a year now, I have come to the conclusion that all these members are great Moms and Dads to their fur babies. We all loved, took care of, walked, played with, .......Cherished our Goldens. We will always remember them, love them, and hold them in our hearts. Your Mattie knew this too. I pray for all of us every night..we will get through this together. Hugs to you too!


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## ChoppersMOM (Nov 23, 2011)

God bless your soul and your beautiful furbaby. I have learned that we all feel the exact same regardless of how our golden loves left us. I lost my Chopper last Thanksgiving and it was the most dreadful time in my life. He was so very missed and I felt so very robbed. It was just him and I and suddenly it became just me... I wasn't sure how to cope. A couple months later I decided I needed a new friend, and boy has he brought such joy (and exasperation at times) but he did help me. Last week my mothers Golden (my new boys sister) and her best friend Angus were struck and killed by a car. They gave chase on a deer and got very very lost and very very far... My mother (whose children are all grown up) had been in the fetal position for days. Her grief was incredibly over-powering to life. She could not function. For 3 decades there were always furry feet in the house... I had to explain that the quiet to me was the hardest part. We had to get her a new furry friend. We couldn't see her a mess and needed to give her something to get out of the corner for. Losing a furbaby is almost like losing a child... We aren't ever the same. Everything about our life suddenly changes. Taking time to write on here helped me so much. Also continuing to support people whom have lost their loves makes me feel as though I am giving back in a small way. You had a beautiful baby girl and she wont soon be forgoten. Bless you tonight. I will take an extra moment to pray for you, that the burden of loss will lessen with the coming days.


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

*God Bless You*

God bless each one who has reached out to me in my time of need .. your kindness is such a comfort to me .. this morning I woke up once again with that hollowness in the pit of my stomach.. and felt the dreaded pain of realizing Mattie isn't going to be there.. Every morning as we went downstairs, we had this little 'routine' .. I would sit down on the top step, and she would stand on my lap and look out the window... we just has so many rituals that may seem trivial to many, but to me and her was our world.. I am no stranger to grief, having many of my close family members who have passed ... and it just never gets easier with the next one.. seems the older I get, the tougher it is to get thru losses.. I try to explain to people just how speical all goldens are, but until you've given your heart to one, and been blessed with their love, it seems they can't understand.. to me goldens are one of God's greatest creations... Prayers of comfort and peace to everyone on this journey of grief that we never want to take ... {{{{hugs}}}} sheebamattiemom


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I have you in my thoughts. I do know our goldens are playing together, happy, and pain free and someday we will se them again. Be good to yourself and come here for comfort as we understand your pain.


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## Jluksch (Dec 14, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Sheeba. I faced losing my Liam the Saturday after you lost your sweet puppy. My heart goes out to you and I wish you peace. Rest in Peace sweet Sheeba


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## BlockHeadReds (Dec 6, 2012)

*My heart aches for you, and tears in my eyes as I read your posts of your sweet Mattie with the soft eyes of a golden & a heart bigger than the rainbow she leapt over.*


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

*Finding it harder to cope ..*

Hurting so bad again today .. the silence in this house is deafening. The life of our home has left, and it's unbearable here without her presence... I need her back so bad .. She was my shoulder when I needed comforting... now I don't have that .. Strange how even the best of my friends don't seem to have a clue as to the depth of my loss ... and not my dh either.. I woul greatly appreciate any comforting words today ...


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## briane04 (Jan 2, 2013)

I am so sorry for your loss. I too, know the empty feeling inside when it comes to losing a pet. I lost my beloved Packer on November 13 to cancer. Sometimes it seems as though the pain will never go away. It is important to take one day at a time and keep all thoses specials memories close to your heart.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Your body misses the rituals and routines, even to where your muscles remember to step over a sleeping dog. One thing you might try is different activities than what you're used to. If you fed Mattie at certain times, be out of the house at those times....go for a walk, go to the grocery store, the gym, anywhere that will change up the routine. If your heart could take it, go volunteer as a dog walker at your local shelter. For some, being with, petting and talking with dogs helps ease the disastrous grief. Me, I couldn't even walk around "our" park for many months or put my hands on another dog. For others, it's imperative to seek out a new dog to love, in honor of their love for the angel pup. I think this works wonders in the healing department, but it took me eight months. This awful, devastating grief will ease, and remember, it's a testament to a great love.


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## Jane (Jan 2, 2013)

SheebaMattieMom,

I'm thanking you in your own post for your words to me in my thread on my loss of my dog Jasper more than 12 months ago. I know you are where I was a year ago, and it is a difficult journey, to say the least. You're in the shock/misery stage where getting through the days is hard. I'm guessing that you have waves of intense grief the way I did then; during that time the longing for my dog was so strong that I would literally beg him to let me know he was out there somewhere, somehow. And I'm not a terribly religious person! 

I wish I could be there and sit and talk to one another and offer understanding and comfort.

I know I wanted to think about a new puppy almost reflexively, as a sort of shelter from the intense pain. My husband was not ready, so we did not; still, I feel that I was in no way thinking I could replace him--that would be impossible--I just wanted to be able to put my cheek against a furry ruff, to experience all things dogly. I think this past year would have been easier with a furry companion. In any event, if you find yourself thinking about another pup, give yourself full permission to do so; that's my opinion.

Again, I offer understanding, sympathy and--well, I have been there. Be as kind to yourself as you can, whatever that means--extra cups of tea, a massage, nights out with friends, whatever helps. 

However, honestly, this reminds me that I had to retreat from much company for awhile, because I was just not able to be around people that did not understand. I went back to my book group after three months, and the first thing that happened was that someone asked me what my dog's last illness was. When I said "brain tumor," the women in the group began a discussion about how common brain tumors were becoming in the human population, almost like a clinical discussion of the phenomenon. It was awful--I left early and avoided the group after that. They weren't dog people, so they didn't really understand how much I was suffering.

Anyway, please know that I do understand and care. Hugs--

Jane


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

You say so much that is true with me also. What you said about Goldens being God's greatest creation is so true -- I always say that Goldens are gifts from God. And like you I am retired and looked forward to spending more time with my golden who was to have surgery. Unfortunately, the day the surgery was scheduled, a "routine" chest xray revealed two masses in his chest -- lung cancer. I felt like my world was turned upside down. He is still with me, but we are nearing the end. I hope soon you will be able to smile through your tears.


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## Macretriever (Sep 9, 2009)

Sorry for your loss


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am very sorry for your loss of Mattie. I know how you feel, my light turned off on May 15th 2011, still miss my Buddy and think of him every day. I am adding your girl to GRF Goldens that passed in 2012 list.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I have had to say goodbye to 5 dogs that lived well into their teens over the last 17 years. Dog(s) have alawys been a part of my life, ever since I was a child, life is not complete without them. They've always been my best friend, a beloved family member and as I became an adult, they were just like my own child. Each one is very special and unique, you can't replace one with another. 

When we said goodbye to our boy, soon to be 2 years ago, I'd forgotten how much it hurt. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and it never gets any easier, but at the same time, it's the ultimate gift of love you can give them when they have grown old, feeble, and especially if they are suffering. 

Since I had forgotten how much it hurt, it also made me realize that with time, the pain would ease. It did, but it takes time. You need to let yourself grieve, let your heart heal. The memories of Mattie will always be with you, her spirit will forever live in your heart and soul. With time you will find yourself not feeling so lost, the pain will become less bearable, and you will reach the point when you think of them or remember a special moment, you will be able to smile. 

I know my boy is still with me, I can feel him, I feel him everyday. We still miss him, I still cry sometimes, and I have days where I really wish he was still here. I found peace knowing he was no longer suffering and that has really helped.

I have a golden girl that I adopted when my boy was alive, she is a former puppy mill momma that will always need to be with another dog. She was grieving and withdrawing after we lost our boy too. Within a few weeks of losing him, I found a young golden boy in my County Humane Society that was in need of a home. Although we weren't ready for him, I adopted him and I knew my girl needed him almost as much as we did.

He helped heal all our hearts, he brought back much needed love and joy into our lives. 

I think sometimes people don't realize how much you love a dog or will miss them until they are gone.

Take each day one at a time, give yourself and your heart the time you need to heal. Each day will get a little easier, I know that's hard to imagine right now when you are in so much pain, but the day will come.


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## briane04 (Jan 2, 2013)

*Missing my Packer*

I can understand the hurt everyone who has lost a pet feels. Two months ago today, I had to say goodbye to my best friend Packer. She meant the world to me, whether we where fishing or snoozing together she was alwas close by. I think about her and miss her so much. We brought another joy into our lives a few weeks back and even though he has helped to ease the pain, I miss my Packer so much. I guess I can take comfort in knowing we will play catch again. Thoughts and prayers go out to everyone missing their furry best friend.


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

*Weeping day ..*

My grief has once again been overwhelming today .. I made it thru Mattie's 2 month passing date I thought fairly well, only to fall apart all over again 3 days later.. I am so lonesome for her every day, but today it has just been a day that I can't seem to find any consolation from the grief.. I miss everything about her, and it just seems like a lifetime since I could hold her and tell her how much I love her .. I miss her little fur flying thru the air, her little nose prints on the doors, the sound of her sleeping at night, and the wag of her tail against the side of the bed when she wanted me to get up .. and those long loving gazes from her soulful eyes.. anyone reading this please send up a prayer for me ... 

:--sad:


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## Yaichi's Mom (Jul 21, 2012)

sheebamattiemom said:


> My grief has once again been overwhelming today .. I made it thru Mattie's 2 month passing date I thought fairly well, only to fall apart all over again 3 days later.. I am so lonesome for her every day, but today it has just been a day that I can't seem to find any consolation from the grief.. I miss everything about her, and it just seems like a lifetime since I could hold her and tell her how much I love her .. I miss her little fur flying thru the air, her little nose prints on the doors, the sound of her sleeping at night, and the wag of her tail against the side of the bed when she wanted me to get up .. and those long loving gazes from her soulful eyes.. anyone reading this please send up a prayer for me ...
> 
> :--sad:


I just wanted you to know that I and many others here know exactly how you feel....we are part of a club who no one wants to belong to and we understand your pain.

When we share a love so pure and so deep, saying good bye is beyond excruciating. 

I lost my beautiful Yaichi about 7 months ago, to what I believe in retrospect was hemangio, with no warning. 

I won't retell my story here, only to say that I still lie in bed at night, feeling guilty for not knowing, for not doing things better, for not being able to save her....and I still cry, cry, cry all the time missing her, even though I have a wonderful new golden baby Brisby in my life.

Before I ramble too much, what I want to say is this: I/many of us know exactly how you feel...you are not alone. Don't let anyone tell you that you are grieving too long, too much etc., as everyone has their own way and their own time. 

For me, everytime I read about another Golden here who has gone to the bridge, my heart mourns for my Yaichi and for all the others and the pain experienced by those who are left behind.

I don't think we ever really get over a loss which hits us at the soul level...we just learn how to live with it. 

I do believe our precious fur babies who have crossed the bridge know how much we love them and miss them. I also believe they would not want us to be in the pain we are in, but would prefer we remember them with love, reverence and to pass it forward until we meet again...which I believe we will.

After 2 months of my constant crying and grief after loosing Yaichi, my boys insisted I get another Golden Pup, hence puppy Brisby. 

I know it's not for everyone, however it really did help me by allowing myself to honor Yaichi's memory by trying to give a new GR pup a wonderful life full of love in her name..and because of her....and it did help ease some of the pain, although at certain moments everyday, still after 7 months I break down and cry, despite the love I feel for my new girl.

Be kind to yourself. Trust that your sweet Mattie knew you loved her with all your heart and then some. Know that she knows and knew that you would have moved heaven and earth for her if you could.

Grieve, cry...do whatever helps work through the pain at your own time and know that we all know exactly how you feel.

Sending you love and hugs.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down today. I do know how you are feeling though, I have been there. It does get better with time, but it never fades all the way...please remember that you will see your sweet pup again at the Rainbow Bridge. I try to keep that in my mind.
I have gotten two more Goldens since my Sandy girl passed...misty and Holly and they help me feel good, they do not take Sandy's place, but they are special to me and I'm happy. I'm praying for you.... Xxoo


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Sheeba/Matties's Mom. I'm so sorry that you are still struggling with Mattie's passing. Two months is not a long time. You got some good words from Yaichi's Mom. I also believe that you need to just cry when you need to. I lost my Harley on January 9 so it has only been a month and he is the first thing I think of when I wake in the morning and I fall asleep thinking of him. I allow myself to think of Harley and sit and remember his silly antics and try to remind myself how lucky I was to have him even though it was far too short a time. I will keep you in my prayers.


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## sheebamattiemom (Dec 30, 2012)

*Thank you'all so much ...*

Thank each of you for your kind encouraging words, thoughts and prayers for me .. it touches my heart so much to know you understand and really do care.. and it really does help me bear the sadness a little better .. This has been the longest 2 months .. I think to myself has it really just been that long since I last held her .. just seems like a lifetime, but yet the hurt is as deep as it was then .. I appreciate all of you more than words can express ...


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

sheeba/mattiemom, I am very sorry you have hard time. Just let you know you are not alone. After so many days I had very hard day today too. Hope tomorrow we have a better day. Hugs.


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## Buddysmyheart (Dec 28, 2011)

sheebamattiemom, know exactly how you feel...most family and friends don't understand the depth of pain and heartache you feel when you've lost a beloved pet. The only person I could talk to was my neighbor, who understood perfectly, having lost a few of her dogs the past couple of years. They were her babies and best friends..she got it. Finding this forum helped me immensely. You can talk about your feelings, post pictures, remember milestones and everyone related to what I was going through. It certainly helped with my grieving for Buddy. The way I got through it was one day at a time. And after 14-1/2 months, still missing my boy very much, but healing. There is no easy way through this, but I hope you can feel the caring, and comfort that is being wished for you, from all of us! ((HUGS))


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## Qontry (Feb 4, 2013)

My thoughts and prayers are with you. We, too, are grieving the recent loss of our best friend, Kodiak. I hope Kodi has befriended Mattie and Sheeba at the Bridge.
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