# 16 year old Golden - when is it time to let him go?



## Trigs (Jul 27, 2020)

Hi - new here, but definitely not new to Goldens. We have a 16 year-old Golden, Luke. Luke has no "red flags" - he's still eating and defecating normally, and he's always happy. He's also deaf, mostly blind, and falls a lot because his back end doesn't work, including down our stairs (we've taken all necessary precautions we can, but he still escapes and tries to climb/descend.) He's also really, really stoic - NOTHING bothers this dog - he's not a complainer. With all of my other old dogs (and we're lucky that most of our dogs lived well into their teenage years), I "just knew" when it was time - there was always a red flag. 

My question: with a 16 yo who is happy, do I wait until he's miserable to let him go? I fear that by the time he's actually painful enough to let us know, it will be really horrible for him. A big part of me wants to let him go while he's having more good days than bad. 

It's not often that I ask a bunch of internet strangers for an opinion, but I'm hoping that you guys will shoot straight with me and let me know what you would do based on what I told you. 

Thank you!!!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Welcome!

Luke has had a wonderful long life with you....... 

I'm sorry the time has come where you are thinking of the day when you have to make this decision. I have found it to be the hardest decision I've ever had to make. Fortunately for them, we are able to give them this last gift of love by setting them free if they are suffering. 

For me I had to ask myself what is the quality of life of my dog. I also took into consideration whether or not my dog was in any type of pain or suffering. If they were having more bad days than good days, I knew it was time. I always tried to put them first-I knew it would be unbearable to be without them, but it was even more unbearable if they were in pain or suffering, and watching what they were going through. 

I would say if Luke is having more good days than bad right now, it may not be time yet. 

Here is a thread that may be of help to you-









Quality of Life scale


https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/default/files/files/companion/HTB/Difficult%20Decisions%20brocure-web%20layout%20%282019%29%20digital.pdf Having to counsel someone today- this is very interesting and mostly I agree with the point scales, though with a Golden- the 5 points for good coat are a...




www.goldenretrieverforum.com


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## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

Bless your sweet boy, 16 is amazing!. I agree with Carolina Mom if he's having more good days than bad then I wouldn't let him go just yet. From your description he seems happy for the most part despite having senior issues. Enjoy every minute you have together, he sounds like a wonderful boy.


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## Trigs (Jul 27, 2020)

1) GO HEELS!!!

2) I can with all honesty say that Luke has never had a bad day (as in he's not feeling well or in pain) with us. He gets unhappy about us packing suitcases and if we don't feed him at 6 pm ON THE BUTTON (he'll eat all the TP in the house if he's not fed by 6 pm) but other than that, I've never seen him have a day that he's feeling puny. Ever. So that's what is making this hard - the dog simply doesn't have bad days so I can't use it as a gauge. He is, however, panting nonstop - 24/7. I've had him checked by the vet and they are perplexed as well - it doesn't seem to be directly pain OR difficulty breathing related. Our other dogs - former and current - clearly have bad days (our Berner made it clear that she had a painful tooth recently, and our Golden puppy is making it clear he's going through some hormone surges - so I'm sensitive to a dog's demeanor). The dog's vet is ambiguous about the situation (and the last two times I brought him in he had mild seizures, so I hesitate to take him for another consult). They gave me that OSU article and I wasn't able to get any clarity on Luke's situation from it. 

It's the weirdest thing. I truly feel like this dog would plug along and live another 5-6 years if we let him, but I can't tell if that's the humane thing to do - it's like he doesn't want to leave us and because of that, he wouldn't ever let us know he's in pain. But he HAS to be in some discomfort, right? His back legs give out and he falls down stairs, and he pants all the time, and he runs into things and has some obvious cognitive slippage... that can't be fun for an old guy - or does is just not bother him? (thanks for letting me ruminate...) 



CAROLINA MOM said:


> Welcome!
> 
> Luke has had a wonderful long life with you.......
> 
> ...


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Absolutely Go Heels, my son graduated from Carolina in 2010-hence my username........ 

My current boy is 11, he no longer handles the heat as well as he did when he was younger and at times seems hot in the house. I have the AC set to 75 and have ceiling fans running. I am comfortable and there are times when he's hot. 

If you have any tile floors he can lay on-sure he might have trouble getting up on them. A cooling mat, you could get a small fan and put in front of him. My guy likes to lay on the tile floors in the bathroom and also in the shower. 

If Luke is doing well over all and basically dealing with things that go along with being a Senior, I would say it's not time yet.


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## 3goldens2keep (Feb 13, 2019)

What an amazing story this is....I love that this dog is 16 and still enjoying his days...! You and your family should feel really special by raising a pup to that age! Over the years I have had many Golden's, last year I had to put down two one was 14 and one was 10. They both died from cancers! I knew when it was time, as they never showed much pain if any...

The 14 year old suddenly passed out, then she woke up and was fine for a while, then bang the next afternoon, down she went again. This time when she woke up she was sick. I took her to the vet and he confirmed she had a cancer in her spleen, it was her time to go.

Our male had been having problems with his hind legs for sometime over a year or so. Slowly they got worse, seemed to not have pain but it was hard to get up and to go poop outside, but other than that he was just his happy ole self. Then one afternoon I took him out and he could not hold himself up to poop or even pee. I took him to the vet and found it was not his hips, it was a large tumor...so it was his time, he really could not get up anymore...this final stage happened overnight, I knew it was his time also....

You will know, when the time comes....God Bless you and your family!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I think you will know when. What you describe right now is not a dog I think is time to let go. That's a wonderful long life, whatever you are doing keep doing it. As long as he is happy and wanting to participate in life I'd let him.


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## pawsnpaca (Nov 11, 2014)

The best advice I've heard is that it's better to let them go a day too early versus a day too late. That said, I agree with everyone else that it doesn't sound like it's time to let him go yet. I usually figure that if they are eating and drinking and peeing and pooping and not in obvious pain (e.g., whimpering/whining, seriously lame, unwilling to get up, etc.), and they're interested in life, then it's not time to let them go just yet. 

If you think he may be in pain, and that's your main concern right now, then I'd give some thought to addressing THAT issue. My personal default is to go to a holistic vet for an assessment. Many holistic vets are much more attuned to a dog's body than a traditional vet and they might be able to give you a better idea of where (and whether) he's in pain, as well as offering up some good options for pain improvement or management. My first Golden started with arthritis when she was 6 and yet I got her to a reasonably comfortable 12+yo using things like keeping her lean and exercised, doing acupuncture and chiropractic, massage, a few supplements that are good for the joints, and making sure she still did interesting things (we did agility classes - slowly eliminating the tougher obstacles - until she was almost 12, and Rally classes until a few weeks before we lost her). Nose work can be a great option for an older dog... or even just something like a kibble scatter in the grass or hidden around the house. 

I commend you for not wanting your dog to suffer, but from your description it doesn't sound like HE thinks he's suffering. I'd give it more time, look into pain management (or keeping him cooler), maybe some support in the form of massage or acupuncture, and let him keep on keepin' on. If you are questioning whether it's time (and your dog's best interest is your biggest motivator)... then it probably isn't time just yet....


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## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

Sounds like he is still living his best life. 
Until he is having more bad days or shows a lot of discomfort, I'd love him while you have him.

My girl was the same way but one day just got sick and she was gone in a week. 
You will know


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## gingy (Sep 23, 2020)

Trigs said:


> Hi - new here, but definitely not new to Goldens. We have a 16 year-old Golden, Luke. Luke has no "red flags" - he's still eating and defecating normally, and he's always happy. He's also deaf, mostly blind, and falls a lot because his back end doesn't work, including down our stairs (we've taken all necessary precautions we can, but he still escapes and tries to climb/descend.) He's also really, really stoic - NOTHING bothers this dog - he's not a complainer. With all of my other old dogs (and we're lucky that most of our dogs lived well into their teenage years), I "just knew" when it was time - there was always a red flag.
> 
> My question: with a 16 yo who is happy, do I wait until he's miserable to let him go? I fear that by the time he's actually painful enough to let us know, it will be really horrible for him. A big part of me wants to let him go while he's having more good days than bad.
> 
> ...


Wow 16 years ,wow.


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## Trigs (Jul 27, 2020)

gingy said:


> Wow 16 years ,wow.


All but one of my dogs have lived to be teenagers (the other was hit by a bus - 25 years have passed and my heart is still broken). I’m not sure why - the vet thinks benign neglect may be good for them. 😆 We are really fortunate. 

By the way, Luke’s condition hasn’t changed much, though he did have some kind of seizure last night so I started worrying again, but he’s his usual cheerful self today. Taking it one day at a time is working well for him - he’s getting LOTS of days of being treated like it might be his last one! Smart old coot!


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## gingy (Sep 23, 2020)

Benign neglect ,what does your vet mean by that?


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## Trigs (Jul 27, 2020)

I think because we never spoiled him (he never got people food, his favorite treats were apples and carrots, never has special vet care, was never overweight...) He was the easiest keeper.

He passed away on Sunday. He was having trouble breathing and we were pretty sure he had a mass in his chest cavity. We have him a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and he got to ride in the front seat, which was his idea of heaven. He was an incredible dog - so smart and funny and sweet. He broke hearts literally around the globe when he died, but most of all my 8 yo son’s.


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## gingy (Sep 23, 2020)

Trigs said:


> I think because we never spoiled him (he never got people food, his favorite treats were apples and carrots, never has special vet care, was never overweight...) He was the easiest keeper.
> 
> He passed away on Sunday. He was having trouble breathing and we were pretty sure he had a mass in his chest cavity. We have him a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and he got to ride in the front seat, which was his idea of heaven. He was an incredible dog - so smart and funny and sweet. He broke hearts literally around the globe when he died, but most of all my 8 yo son’s


Geezus so sad


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## Rundlemtn (Jan 16, 2015)

Such a good boy. I'm so happy for you that you got 16 years with him. He was beautiful, and everything a good golden should be <3


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

I'm so sorry. Even 16 years is not enough time. Luke sounded extra special and you and your family will be in my prayers. It has to be doubly sad to see your son mourn as well as yourself. OscarsDad posted this a while back and I thought it was great advice about helping a child process losing their dog








A Vet Gives Wise Counsel About Grieving.pdf







drive.google.com


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## Trigs (Jul 27, 2020)

T


3Pebs3 said:


> Such a good boy. I'm so happy for you that you got 16 years with him. He was beautiful, and everything a good golden should be <3


Thank you. ❤


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## Trigs (Jul 27, 2020)

cwag said:


> I'm so sorry. Even 16 years is not enough time. Luke sounded extra special and you and your family will be in my prayers. It has to be doubly sad to see your son mourn as well as yourself. OscarsDad posted this a while back and I thought it was great advice about helping a child process losing their dog
> 
> 
> 
> ...





cwag said:


> I'm so sorry. Even 16 years is not enough time. Luke sounded extra special and you and your family will be in my prayers. It has to be doubly sad to see your son mourn as well as yourself. OscarsDad posted this a while back and I thought it was great advice about helping a child process losing their dog
> 
> 
> 
> ...


thank you - I love that piece on grieving so much.
A friend sent me a card that says “dogs don’t live long enough - it’s their only fault.” Too true. We were especially lucky with our Luke. ❤


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm sorry for your loss of your boy.


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## 3goldens2keep (Feb 13, 2019)

I hate hearing of his passing....he was such a special guy! 

I love the ice cream and front seat ride....the picture of him riding in the front is priceless. Looks like he was in his little heaven while enjoying the ride with a full tummy of ice cream....what a way to go!

Peace and Love be with you and your family! 

PS...By the way, the other Golden in the ice cream picture, hopefully got his/her share later?


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