# Fearful



## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

I fear I've done my poor puppy wrong. 
He went to puppy class. He went to Petsmart and Home Depot. We have taken him to sit with us while eating outdoors. He's been for walks in public on busy sidewalks and into stores. He's met many strangers and even been to the small dog park as a puppy. 
I work from home and he stays by me all day. He was crated at night until almost a year old and then allowed just loose in our bedroom until recently. He's 1.5 Yrs old now. As he got bigger the trips outside decreased and no more trips to the dog park for fear of attacks because he wasn't neutered. At around 10 mos or so he started showing signs of fear when out in public. If we go to the dog food store he is nervous and if people come in he barks and tries to hide. He will stand or sit by me and shake all over. If we are outside at home he will bark at everyone that walks by. My sweet friendly puppy has turned into a nervous and insecure dog. I don't know what the trigger was or if I just wasn't getting him out enough as often as needed during a vital time. I also worry about separation anxiety because when we leave we crate him and when we return he is overly excitable when let out to the point he whines while spinning and jumping. I think the whining is what worries me. Like he's been so distraught about us being gone he can't control himself when we finally come back. I think this is more with longer periods of time left home like 4 hours. 
What should I start with first? I worry taking him out if he would actually bite someone. Once he becomes comfortable with someone he's loving all over them but before that he will hide and pull away or turn his body away from people. He's such a sweetie with us I can't imagine him biting but the fear could make him do it if he felt cornered. 
I have recently taken him to the local dog park that is very quiet and he's done excellent. He goes up to people for a pet and meets all the dogs. He was nervous at first but warmed up quickly. He is neutered. 
I feel like when I take him out in public I'm not helping him any and not sure what to do. If walking and he barks at people from across the way, what should I do? I hate having what appears to be an aggressive golden. Ugh

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## inge (Sep 20, 2009)

A few points stuck out for me: no where from your post do I get the impression that you have an 'aggressive Golden". It seems when I go on reading that he is slowly doing better...about the spinning, jumping and whining when you come back: that sounds like Tess and Liza. Tess spins and jumps, Liza whines and crawls on the floor. Never have I thought that those were signs of discomfort and separation anxiety. I read it as being happy that I am there. Liza is a huge talker anyway, also barks to strangers around the garden. I like that she a bit louder, makes me feel safe. The fear period at ten months is a classic I believe. If you search on the forum you can probably find more information about that. Good luck, it seems you are doing the right thing.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Your puppy*



Ksdenton said:


> I fear I've done my poor puppy wrong.
> He went to puppy class. He went to Petsmart and Home Depot. We have taken him to sit with us while eating outdoors. He's been for walks in public on busy sidewalks and into stores. He's met many strangers and even been to the small dog park as a puppy.
> I work from home and he stays by me all day. He was crated at night until almost a year old and then allowed just loose in our bedroom until recently. He's 1.5 Yrs old now. As he got bigger the trips outside decreased and no more trips to the dog park for fear of attacks because he wasn't neutered. At around 10 mos or so he started showing signs of fear when out in public. If we go to the dog food store he is nervous and if people come in he barks and tries to hide. He will stand or sit by me and shake all over. If we are outside at home he will bark at everyone that walks by. My sweet friendly puppy has turned into a nervous and insecure dog. I don't know what the trigger was or if I just wasn't getting him out enough as often as needed during a vital time. I also worry about separation anxiety because when we leave we crate him and when we return he is overly excitable when let out to the point he whines while spinning and jumping. I think the whining is what worries me. Like he's been so distraught about us being gone he can't control himself when we finally come back. I think this is more with longer periods of time left home like 4 hours.
> What should I start with first? I worry taking him out if he would actually bite someone. Once he becomes comfortable with someone he's loving all over them but before that he will hide and pull away or turn his body away from people. He's such a sweetie with us I can't imagine him biting but the fear could make him do it if he felt cornered.
> ...


My Tucker whines, spins, twirls, when we come home, too, and I think that's just a normal way of him greeting us. I find it endearing and I think the whining is poor joy.

Both of my dogs bark at people when they see someone out of our window or across the street and I don't think that means they are aggressive.

Have you mentioned this to your vet-they might have some feedback, or a trainer.

Has he ever attempted to bite someone?


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

He's never attempted to bite but he sounds ferocious and will growl. I'm not so concerned with that behavior while at home but when away from home. He did it at the lake where my parents live. Now he's familiar with that place so maybe has become territorial of it as well. 
I'm mostly concerned with while out at a store or out walking and him cowering and trying to run away because he's so fearful. Sometimes that is followed with a bark but purely fear. 
People will want to come up and pet him especially families but a group will send him over the edge approaching him at once. I will tell them he's scared but it's so uncharacteristic for a golden so people don't understand. 


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

It sounds like his behavior when you come home is normal--Goldens are talkers! But the behavior when you're out in the world with him sounds like it need some help.

I have two shy dogs (not Goldens), so this is something I've been dealing with for a long time. First, this may just be partly a fear stage, something dogs go through as they grow up. It may be something in his genetics, or a lack of socialization before he came home. It really doesn't matter, right? What's important is looking forward and helping him become a more confident dog.

First thing--find a good positive-methods training class or a trainer with experience in working with shy dogs. Is he clicker trained? I love a clicker with my shy dogs because I can click the tiniest moment of calm, non-barking behavior and it makes a huge difference. 

There are several really good books on this subject out there...Emma Parsons' "Click To Calm" is just about my favorite on this topic, so can't recommend it highly enough.

In essence, what you need to do is start exposing him to scary stuff but at enough of a distance that he doesn't react. Then you click and treat him for calm behavior. Over time, he will come to associate scary thing = good food, but it takes a lot of time and practice. I started with my dogs in parking lots by the edges where they can see people but most of them are too busy to come running over. 

If humanly possible, please do NOT let people run up to him. Every time another scary thing happens he loses more trust in you and it reinforces the fear in his mind. I've been known to step in front of my dog and body block a well-intentioned but clueless person away--stepping in front of him and calmly holding up one hand in the "stop" gesture should work. If it doesn't, time to get a little rude 

If he's trained to a head halter, particularly the Halti brand, it can be a big help just because people think it's a muzzle and think twice about approaching him!

It's also really important that you stay calm and happy and keep your voice and body language that way. It's really easy to tighten up on the leash and sound scared, which just tells your dog he was right! It's hard, but practice your fake laugh--I've been known to sing. Yes, people think I'm crazy, but so what?

If you run into a trainer who thinks that forcing him to "face his fears" is the way to go, run, don't walk away. You need someone who understands how to bring him along gradually.

I hope you have some good training resources where you live?


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Are you two enrolled in any obedience classes? If I were you, I would get some help from an experienced trainer. Not just someone who has taught obedience for a couple years, but someone with many years of experience and who can specifically work on confidence building and helping you read your boy's body language. A good obedience club can give you some recommendations and your vet may be able to recommend someone who is good. I would work on getting him out in the world every day, working with treats as suggested. Even if it's just a car ride to run for starbucks or dry cleaning, try to get him out. Ask a friendly stranger to give him treats at Home Depot when he sits etc. If he is turning away from people and trying to escape, explain he is nervous of strangers and ask them to go slowly. Be prepared that some people will come up to your Golden and try to hug him because 'dogs love me'. It is definitely your job to protect your shy dog and make sure you say whatever you need to so that they don't overwhelm him. People can be very pushy. Just don't sit home and let this get worse.

Do you have a good relationship with his breeder? I would contact them and ask for help if they are local. I would definitely get help from an experienced trainer no matter what.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I just reread your OP and it's interesting that he's okay at the dog park? Is this when he's offleash? 

Some dogs do better that way (my Aussie did at agility) because that way they don't feel trapped by being on a leash...they can always run away...and they're not being forced into any interaction.

As long as the dog park stays quiet and no big uglies start showing up (canine or human!) that's probably a good place to practice. Ask everyone there to let him come to them, not to approach him at all.

I would think about clicking/treating your dog every time he approaches someone and is happy about it--it also gives him an incentive to get his attention back to you. My one dog would get into trouble because she's curious about people and would go up to them...and then they would reach out or LOOM and she'd panic and bark and they'd back up, which was incredibly reinforcing. Big ugly bark = scary people go away. So we had to practice a greeting routine that reinforced her walking away from the human so that she understood that she had a safety exit, so to speak. 

Finding a good trainer and a safe place to practice greetings with people who will behave themselves is crucial--not just the dog park, although it's nice to have that option.

How is he with visitors to your house?


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

He's been great with visitors to the house other than over zealous greetings and he was going on daily car rides when this popped up. 
I need to enroll back into obedience classes. I've been working 12 and 13 hr days so not much time for anything else. 
We haven't even been going on walks lately because of my schedule. I need to start taking daily walks with him once again. He's never been that fond of going for a walk. As a puppy he was lazy then he got hot and now his fear. 
What's the best way to handle barking at strangers? I want him to stop but not sure how to get him to stop when he's doing it. I'm guessing I need to work on catching him before the bark when he's silent and click then treat? Maybe once the bark starts it's too late?


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

You want to catch him the moment he spots the stranger but before he barks. It's tricky, I know. I actually started a game with them in the car called "people!" We sit with our bag of really good treats and we talk about watching for people in a really happy voice and the second someone appears and I see the dog spot them I click and he gets a treat. Repeat. Repeat. In a busy parking lot, you can get thirty to forty reinforceable moments in half an hour!

If you're walking, same thing, happy voice happy voice, see the person, CLICK TREAT but don't engage with them. Turn around, cross the street, go up a driveway, whatever it takes to get him at a distance where he can keep his attention on you. Don't even try to engage with a person until his reaction when he sees one is WOOHOO!!! Best yet is if you can have friends who will be the "strangers" for you who will know not to bend down, bend over him, stare him in the eyes, grab his face, or all of the other stupid stuff people do with dogs they don't know!

If he's already barking at the peroson, it's "oh, too bad, can't see the people now," calm and matter of fact, just turn him around and go the other way. No drama, just regret that he lost his chance.

This is pretty hard to describe over the internet and it's hard to know without seeing him as to how deep his fear issues go, so getting a trainer would be a huge help.

You said that you work at home, right? Can you just take him out for ten minutes at a time? Short sessions are always the best, anyway.

I'm wondering if lack of exercise might be a part of his problem?

The fact that he's good with visitors in your home and that this is a relatively recent problem is actually all good news. The odds are much better that he's not hard-wired this way and that the right kind of training could make a big difference for both of you.


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

Thank you for the detailed description. Sometimes I over analyze and to have it spelled out helps me even if I have a good idea of what to do. I love the car idea too. I've thought about sitting at a street corner with him just to watch everything go by but I think that may be too much. I have to remember "distance" and "slow". 


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Exactly! And always end on a win, don't push it until he reacting. It's pretty stressful for him, after all, so you want to quit before he's worn out. It's easy when it's going well to push it too long.


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## gldnboys (Mar 15, 2012)

You could work up to the street corner exercise by starting closer to home, even on your front porch (if you're in a house). I can see what you mean about a street corner possibly being too much at this point, and I agree - the last thing you want to do is overload him. 

When you're ready to move further afield, choose quiet times when there isn't much going on, and try to pick a spot that's a fair distance away from any pedestrian traffic - a park might work well, at a non-busy time, since there shouldn't be any hustle or bustle. As Noreaster said, you want to keep him at a point where he's still able to respond to you (under threshhold), and isn't reacting.


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

If we find ourselves in a situation that is too much and he wants to run, is it ok to walk him away (him pulling at the leash to run away most likely) or is that enforcing his desire to run away and be fearful?


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

If he's telling you he wants out, get him out as quickly and calmly as possible! If he's over his threshold, you're not going to get any calm behaviors and it will just stress him more at this point. What you want is for him to trust you in these situations, not to have to feel as if no one understands what's happening so he needs to act...and fear biting is the most common kind of bite.

Over time, he will learn that you will always look out for him and never keep him in a situation that makes him uncomfortable. That in turn will help him relax and be more open to new situations and people. But it takes a lot of time and lots of work first.

ETA: Here's a pretty good list of stress signals to watch for--if you see any of these, he's done for now.

http://www.liamjperkfoundation.org/stress.html


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