# How to cope with aging?



## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

Ugh I have nothing to offer except encouragement. My dogs have all had sudden deaths with illness or accident. I have not gone through the process. There are so many people here with such knowledge and experience. I know they can help 


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

I haven't gone through end of life care before, but can you add pain killers (like tramadol) for the arthritis? Help him up when he struggles. Get a ramp for the car. A thick orthopedic bed for his achy bone. Help him adapt to his limited vision. 

To me all of that sound like palliative care, aimed at making him most comfortable. 

I figure, if you're not going to remove the tumor, just spoil him rotten for however much time he has left. 


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## Doug (Jul 17, 2010)

I always wonder how I will find the strength when the time comes to let go.
They say that true love is wanting someone else to be more happy than yourself.
There comes a certain point when there is no way out, it is taken out of your hands. I could not let my girl carry the burden of living any more just for me. The discomfort had become too much I had to release her. Death became a blessing, living was a curse.
When the time is right you will have the strength because the angels that call them back and set certain things in motion where you have no choice but to let them go back to the magical place where they came from.

I am sorry that you are going through this it is intense but have faith that there is more to life than what you see here and that everything happens for a reason.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I have had to help several much loved dogs (and cats) cross.

The best advice I can give sounds kind of vague, but you will know. You just will - it might be a distant look in the eyes, an unwillingness to participate in once loved activities or just the feeling in your heart.

When you make the decision either way, to keep you dog alive or to help him cross, with love & your dogs best interests at heart - you will make the right choice for you & Gerry.

It is ironic, but for me the desire to do everything possible for more time turns into a gratitude for all we have shared. It hurts, have no doubt about that but if you listen with your heart, you know and you make the final decisions with your dogs best interests at heart.

Good luck.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

The first post in this thread has a link to the PDF of the American Animal Hospital Association's guide to senior care: http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...enter/106513-aaha-senior-care-guidelines.html. Along with a lot of other valuable information, it includes a passage about freedoms we should provide: "The five freedoms include freedom from hunger and thirst; freedom from physical and thermal discomfort; freedom from pain, injury, and disease; freedom from fear and distress; and the freedom to express normal behavior." 

My Joker is now almost 13.5 years old and I remind myself that loving him includes a responsibility to let go when the time comes. Making end-of-life decisions is never easy...the more we love them, the harder it is... but it is part of the bargain we make when they commit their lives to us.

Others have written that you will know when the time comes, and I agree. Our hearts and eyes must be open to the message, because the consequences of making them stay too long are harsh for the animal in terms of pain and loss of dignity.

This is a good place to work through the issues, as so many of us have been where you are now. With my Charlie, who made his wishes very clear, we arranged for his vet to come to the house. After making the call, we spent the next 24 hours spoiling my boy in every way imaginable. On his last morning with us, there came a moment when he struggled to his feet, came to me for a cuddle, and lay down at my feet, where he stayed for the rest of his life. He stayed there quietly, not even lifting his head as our vet knelt beside him. He opened those lovely big eyes to gaze at me and licked my fingers as he got the injection that eased him into sleep and he never knew about the second shot that set him free of pain and seizures forever. Tears well up as I write this, hoping we didn't ask too much of my King of Cuddles. It is so hard. 

Last spring, facing surgery myself, I filed my Final Directives, or living will, or whatever you call the document that tells your family what you want at the end. Making those decisions wasn't really difficult, though the questions gave me pause. I hope that I have the courage and grace to do for my dogs what I would ask for myself.

I hope you don't have to make painful decisions during the holidays.


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

Ugh! This is such a sad, but necessary topic with seniors. Good for you for planning ahead.

For our bridge girl, Sophie who died when she was 15, we slowly made changes to the house as her mobility declined. We put a couple of extra orthopedic beds on the main floor of the house in case she didn't feel like climbing the stairs to our bedroom. We added some rugs/runners for added stability on slippery wood floors. We put her bowls in a raised feeder to make it easier to eat without bending down. We bought a ramp for rides in the car and showed her how to use it before her mobility got too bad. We kept taking her for rides because it seem to lift her spirits to see new people and places. Because we live in a cold climate, I always checked the footing outside in the winter before letting her outside to avoid slips and falls.

For vet care, she really didn't have a whole lot of chronic issues. She had some cancerous growths in her mouth at the end of her life that prevented her from eating. We opted not to remove them because of her advanced age and the vet's advice that it would be horribly painful and the fact that she probably could not withstand anesthesia. We adjusted her diet to soft food that she could tolerate and spoiled her rotten. Her favorite food toward the end was baked haddock and she got lots of it!

When making vet care decisions, we always opted for comfort measures rather than heroic measures.

When she could no longer eat because of the tumors in her mouth, we knew it was time. She crossed the Bridge peacefully while laying in my arms. It was the hardest decision and the easiest decision at the same time.

Bless you and I hope you have a very long time left with your handsome boy.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I wish I had some advice. The first GSD I lost was 8 and suddenly developed DM - it was horrible how fast he went downhill but I guess at least he never had a chance to wither in old age. Now my senior girl, who is 12.5, is losing it in her hips and they seem to get worse by the day. Her head's still in it, but her body is giving out. 

For her, we just try to take it one day at a time and do what makes her happy. We might only walk one mile a day and it might take us 30 minutes to cover that much ground (and this was a dog that used to run 5 miles a day with me and do agility and tricks classes regularly) but she has the time of her life sniffing anything she can get her nose up to. We spend extra time cuddling and try every now and again to give her treats that her digestive system can handle. When Charlie (the one that developed DM) got really bad, we just knew he needed to be let go; I am hoping we'll also just know when Pilot is no longer fit for this body. 

We're very fortunate to have a vet that will come to our house for anything, and she came when it was time to let Charlie go. I feel like that must have been some relief to a dog that dealt with anxiety issues his whole life. When we scheduled that appointment our vet also told us who to contact to come collect his remains for cremation... that's something I might not have thought of in my distress, and was invaluable information to have. So maybe looking in to exactly who you need to call when the time comes would be a good idea.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Meghan*



foilgirl said:


> Hi,
> 
> My Golden boy, Gerry will be 11 in 2 months, and I've started to think about aging and end-of-life care. He has a slew of problems: chronic ear problems, arthritis from a femur that was broken before we got him, a GI motility disorder leftover from when he bloated at 8 years old, early cataracts, and a mast cell tumor that we just finished treating with chemo (it's on his leg, and too big to remove completely).
> 
> ...


Meghan

Ken and I have helped many of our sweet dogs to the Bridge. For us, when they no longer have quality of life: won't eat, drink, have trouble going out, seem to be in pain, and have something terminal, we feel we must spare them from the pain.
I'm not sure if I agree with others that say, "they will let you know." I just observed that Smooch was having trouble breathing, did not want to eat, and would avoid going upstairs anymore. I took her to the vet and they did xrays on her chest and stomach and she only had 10% lung function. Doctor thought she had lymphoma or hemangiosarcoma, and said he thought she was in pain. I immediately called my husband and we were holding her as she crossed to the bridge.
Praying you and Gerry have a great Christmas.


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## thmorris19 (Dec 10, 2011)

I wish I had some advice as well. We are about to face this with both of our dogs. Our Golden girl, Molly is 9 years old and was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease a few months ago. She is on medication to help slow the progression. She has had so many problems over the years. She had TTA's done on both knees and has been through a slew of stuff due to her severe allergies. We can definitely see her starting to slow down.

Our Irish Setter, Oliver will be 11 in February and has a little bit of arthritis that has started in his right shoulder. He is my very active guy and doesn't have any problems, but just seeing how gray his face has gotten in the past year makes me sad. 

We determined when they are just no longer happy and/or in pain then we will need to say goodbye. Seniors are so lovely, but the thought of losing them is sometimes too much to bear. Good luck!


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## boomers_dawn (Sep 20, 2009)

Hi Meghan, I just went through all of this with my first dog.

I think it's good to take some time to put some though into your questions. Because if we realize that aging, decline, and eventually death is a natural part of life that all our pets and eventually us has to go through, I think it helps us to appreciate what we have while we have it. 

So enjoy every day together, and continue to spend lots of quality time together and provide great care, which it sounds like you have that covered.

For me, I took every day as it came and adjusted the game plan according to the situation. For example, we also did obedience, field work, hunting, hiking, etc. Eventually Boomer wasn't able to get up the next day after a hunting day. So I cut our hunting trips to 2 hours. Then 1 hour. Then half an hour. Then he had to stay home. Depending on how he did. 

We cut out field work and obedience when he had too much limping afterwards. Eventually I noticed that even short walks and hiking were too much with his early laryngeal paralysis he had trouble breathing, so we cut that all out except for the shortest of walks and some short "fun bumpers" in the yard. . 

As for treatment - I think you balance the benefits vs the risks and costs.
Invasive testing and treatments - sometimes the dog's age automatically contraindicates surgery. 
With Boomer he may have benefited from LP surgery, but by that age the anesthesia was almost out of the question and with his spinal stenosis, there didn't seem to be much sense in putting him through that surgery if he couldn't run around and be active. The spinal stenosis couldn't be fixed and he was already maxed out on meds.

As for when is it time ... everyone says you will know. Once in awhile you hear someone wonder if they waited too long. Our vet says it's ok to go on a good day (as opposed to having to be rolled in on a stretcher) but you don't want to feel like you're "killing them" for no reason if it doesn't seem time yet. So it can be a hard call.

I have a great article someplace, I will go look for it and try to come back and post it here. 

I hope this helps. It sounds like you're already doing a great job and really please try to enjoy every single second while you have him. Give Gerry a big hug for me!


I'm back. Can you see this?
http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/how-to-say-goodbye


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I have been through this so many times, my kooper will be 11 on feb. 23rd, just took him in to the vets, they did a blood work up,he is having some issues, he had a tplo when he was 5, he has arthristis, in both hips, having trouble with a slight cough, slight breathing problem, and a few other things, but until I see him starting to suffer, not eating,we will keep on going,this darn winter here has really hurt,with all the snow.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I'm sorry you are at the point of thinking about this, but agree you are wise to do so.

I agree, you will know when it's time, and each pet is different.

I lost 2 cats close together about 2 years ago. They were both 17yrs old. One was diabetic for 11yrs. Both of them were starting to get arthritis so I started moving furniture around so that they could get to their favorite places without having to jump. Both of them got sick and went downhill fast. It was obvious that it was time.
With Bear, she was almost 12 and in great shape still when she was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma. I knew we were on limited time and decided to go with just palliative care. In her case the cancer spread to her wrist and a break was a very real possibility. That one was hard because she was still happy with life. She was on prednisone for some blood stuff she had going on which caused hind end weakness. I was cooking a hamburger for dinner and she got up to come over to check it out and could barely walk between her hind end weakness and the tumor in her wrist. I knew in that instance that it was time, I would never forgive myself if the leg broke.

My lab right now is 13-14trs old and just starting to slow down. I've gotten some orthopedic beds around and just got some stairs to help him get into bed (we're still working on that!). I've got him on meds for arthritis in his elbows and switched him from 1 long walk a day to 2 short walks every day. Just little things to make it easier on him. 
When I took Kenzie on her walk today I saw a woman walking a 17 yr old beagle that was walking really slowly down the sidewalk enjoying smelling every bush. She said they can only go for about a block these days before he gets tires but he still gets excited about the idea of a walk. I'm actually looking forward to that stage (as sad as it is), and hope that both Guinness and Kenzie get there


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