# I don't really understand re: divorce and rehoming



## maggie1951 (Apr 20, 2007)

My dogs cone first and they would come with me i can't understand it either


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I don't agree with it, but I can see what happens. A two income family can afford a home for the family and the dogs. A divorce creates a single income for each party, they both end up forced to move to a small apartment, either the dog is not allowed or the pet fee is too high. Or the one with an adequate income is a jerk and won't take the dog. 

No excuse, do they dump their kids? No. It's all about what they want to do, and they dont' care enough about the dogs to want to make arrangements where they can keep them.


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## Blaireli (Jun 3, 2008)

Unfortunately, this is all too common. This happened with Heidi. That is how the people who bred her got her in the first place. The breeders husband worked with a man who got Heidi in a divorce and couldn't keep her. It is such a sad situation and I couldn't imagine giving my pups up, no matter what.


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## AcesWild (Nov 29, 2008)

my dog goes everywhere with me and if I had to choose between her and a man, she would win. (sorry honey).


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Smooch and Snobear*

Smooch and Snobear would never be left behind, by either Ken or I.
They are our babies!


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I would be fighting for custody of my boys, that's for sure!!!


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I went through a divorce when I was 23. I had an 18 month old child, a dog and 3 cats. My ex wasn't interested in taking any of the cats with him, and I insisted on keeping the baby and the dog, plus my cat I had gotten in high school. I ended up with all of them since he didn't want them. I was very poor and lived in a singlewide trailer. But I would never have gotten rid of any of them! It can be done, but sometimes you have to give up any extras. To me it was worth it.


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## Scarletts_Daddy (Sep 4, 2008)

I'd like to share my depths of dispair on this particular subject. However due two use both using this form I'll refrain.


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## Gwen (Aug 9, 2007)

When I divorced in 1997, my ex didn't really care about the kids but wanted to be able to have our golden girl, Becky for (2) weeks deer hunting annually.

Becky had always gone back to the camp with my ex & his family members & had always been treated well so I had no objection. Most importantly, she LOVED it and couldn't wait to go.

Problems did arise however when Becky got older and came home one year almost crippled due to her age and over exercising. I refused to let her go the next year unless she was on a reduced schedule - he wouldn't agree so I wouldn't let her go. He threatened to take me to court as this matter was covered in our separation agreement. 

No dog going to Craigslist here!


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## Joe and Sam's Mom (Sep 2, 2007)

I got custody of the dogs and the kids with no questions asked. I tried to make the kids negotiable, but he wouldn't bite...

Sammy is with me because his original family divorced. They managed to keep their Irish Wolfhound, but had to crate Sammy for hours on end so decided to rehome him.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

My breeder resisted having two owners on the AKC paperwork and the contract with her, since she had heard of a dog who was euthanized because the owners divorced. She wanted one person clearly legally accountable for the dog's ownership.

You want to talk about rehoming as depressing? Can you imagine killing your dog to get back at your ex?


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## Gwen (Aug 9, 2007)

tippykayak said:


> My breeder resisted having two owners on the AKC paperwork and the contract with her, since she had heard of a dog who was euthanized because the owners divorced. She wanted one person clearly legally accountable for the dog's ownership.
> 
> You want to talk about rehoming as depressing? Can you imagine killing your dog to get back at your ex?


...and then there is the issue of having dogs euthanized as per will instructions when the owner is deceased so the dog(s) can go in the casket with the owner!


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Gwen said:


> ...and then there is the issue of having dogs euthanized as per will instructions when the owner is deceased so the dog(s) can go in the casket with the owner!


OMG.... that's HORRENDOUS and SICK!


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

My ex and I seperated in 1999 and I got the kids and our pets. I could never be without either. Was it difficult financially, you bet. But I would do it again all over. Absolutely no regrets! 

Just recently, I fought for three months, literally every day, with my bank to modify my loan, (which I FINALLY got about 2 weeks ago). It didn't really matter to me or my daughter where we lived, (I'm pretty close to upside down in my house anyway). It probably would have been easier to do a short sale on my home and then rent. But with 2 dogs, and 4 cats, (also a feral that I have been feeding for 3 years), it would be next to impossible to rent a place in our area. So.....I basically did it for my pets. They are a huge part of my life and they will be with me the rest of their lives. Period.

We will struggle, no doubt, but you learn to adjust if you make your mind up to do without. Who needs cable anyway, right?


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Gwen said:


> ...and then there is the issue of having dogs euthanized as per will instructions when the owner is deceased so the dog(s) can go in the casket with the owner!


That's very Egyptian. Was the dog a Saluki?


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## Adriennelane (Feb 13, 2008)

We would more likely have a custody battle over who would get Lucy. Technically she's supposed to be my dog, but she's very much an equal love opportunity pup. Thankfully we're not planning to divorce. 

It does bother me when I see people giving their dogs up so easily on Craiglist. I've been begging Bart to let me get another golden for ages.


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## Trids (Jan 22, 2009)

Agreed, I think I'd put DH on Craig's list before I put the dogs up there! Geez! :wavey:


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## esSJay (Apr 13, 2009)

Molson had been researched by me, paid for with my money, registered under my name, fed, walked, watered, trained and played with by me....He's Mine Mine Mine - Alllll Mine! I would do whatever possible to make ends meet just to keep him. 

I can't see how there would be any custody battles going on if BF and I happened to split, but I sure don't plan on it happening anytime soon. He wouldn't stand a chance. (Not to say that he isn't a good daddy at all - he is, but BF couldn't deal with all the poop-picking )


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## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

fostermom said:


> I went through a divorce when I was 23. I had an 18 month old child, a dog and 3 cats. My ex wasn't interested in taking any of the cats with him, and I insisted on keeping the baby and the dog, plus my cat I had gotten in high school. I ended up with all of them since he didn't want them. I was very poor and lived in a singlewide trailer. But I would never have gotten rid of any of them! It can be done, but sometimes you have to give up any extras. To me it was worth it.


 
Exactly 
Heading south n wouldn't give up til I found a place that would take my furkids too. Finding a place that lets a tenant have 3 dogs wasn't easy, but they are out there 
Jax is Tony's furkid, and will be staying with Tony up here  Which tells me I did pretty good raising Tony as a responsible pet person


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## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

Trids said:


> Agreed, I think I'd put DH on Craig's list before I put the dogs up there! Geez! :wavey:


hahahahahaha, now that was good 
and I would too!!!!


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## Golden Miles' Dad (Dec 21, 2007)

I went through a divorce just last year where this became an issue.
Both of us wanted to keep Miles, and for a while she even attempted to blackmail me into her getting him. I warned her that I would take her to court and spend ever penny I could beg, borrow, or steal to fight for him. 
In the end the facts were just too stacked against her, it was my check that purchased him, my name on the registration papers, and all the Vet bills. On top of all that she never walked him, and I did every day so I could have called in all the neighbors to testify against her.
Miles is my buddy, and I wouldn't give him up for anything.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

For all my pets, I have always made sure my name alone is on all the registrations, licenses and vet records... Just in case something happens.... my husband would do what is best for the pets, but divorces can bring out the worst in people.


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## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

Golden Miles' Dad said:


> I went through a divorce just last year where this became an issue.
> Both of us wanted to keep Miles, and for a while she even attempted to blackmail me into her getting him. I warned her that I would take her to court and spend ever penny I could beg, borrow, or steal to fight for him.
> In the end the facts were just too stacked against her, it was my check that purchased him, my name on the registration papers, and all the Vet bills. On top of all that she never walked him, and I did every day so I could have called in all the neighbors to testify against her.
> Miles is my buddy, and I wouldn't give him up for anything.



I remember your struggles.. I'm glad Miles is right where he belongs with you. 



I don't think that's even the issue with this particular thread though. It's not about the divorcing couples that are fighting tooth and nail to keep their pets but the ones that just dump the pets as soon as they split up. I do see the point of one of the previous posts though pointing out that newly single people will sometimes move to small cheap apartments, have only one income suddenly, etc... and that all can make it difficult to keep pets.. it's just very sad for all involved. 


If Jeff and I ever split up, the dogs go with me. They are mine, and he knows it and wouldn't fight me on it. His deployment schedules alone make him a non-ideal home for a couple dogs anyway if he were alone.


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## Faith's mommy (Feb 26, 2007)

while it can be a convienent excuse for some, for some folks it's the reality of what they have to do.

someone i know went through a divorce suddenly. her husband let her know he was moving in with his new girlfriend by coming home after work one night and telling her he was done and packing his clothes into big garbage bags and leaving...

she couldn't afford the mortgage on their home by herself and had to find a small apartment and couldn't find one in the school district she needed that allowed pets that was within her means. 

the whole thing was awful - his lawyer told him to file for bankruptcy so that he didn't have to pay for the house, which forced her to do so as well, and then he refused to pay any alimony or child support until it was court ordered. so, she had about a year and a half of 0 help from him money-wise.


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

Faith's mommy said:


> while it can be a convienent excuse for some, for some folks it's the reality of what they have to do.
> 
> someone i know went through a divorce suddenly. her husband let her know he was moving in with his new girlfriend by coming home after work one night and telling her he was done and packing his clothes into big garbage bags and leaving...
> 
> ...


All life-changing events are hard but divorce is definately over-whelming. I can relate to why suddenly the responsibility of a dog can be the tipping point. Every situation is different and its hard to judge people in these types of things.


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## breec3 (Jan 7, 2008)

That is very scary to me!! I would never want to leave my dogs behind.


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## Faith's mommy (Feb 26, 2007)

Lucky's mom said:


> All life-changing events are hard but divorce is definately over-whelming. I can relate to why suddenly the responsibility of a dog can be the tipping point. Every situation is different and its hard to judge people in these types of things.


in her case it wasn't the responsibility of the dog that was the tipping point - economics were. 

she had very limited choices on housing b/c she didn't want to pull her kids out of their schools in the middle of a school year on top of everything else that was happening. so, she had to find a place in their district that she could afford.

the places she could afford on only her salary were too small to begin with, and then none would allow dogs.

she was heartbroken, but really had no other choice. it's so different if it's just a single person vs having to worry about yourself and children.

i know that if it had been just her she would have lived in her car with the dog for a while. 

i should have said, the dog found a good home through a rescue group. but it's still on her mind many moons later. and, when she thinks about rescuing another dog, she knows that the box "have you ever given a dog up?" will cause her issues.


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## Mandarama (Jul 5, 2009)

Faith's mommy said:


> in her case it wasn't the responsibility of the dog that was the tipping point - economics were.
> 
> she had very limited choices on housing b/c she didn't want to pull her kids out of their schools in the middle of a school year on top of everything else that was happening. so, she had to find a place in their district that she could afford.
> 
> ...


What a sad story! I can't help thinking...the best solution would have been for her lousy ex to meet an untimely end, ensuring that she and the kids and the dog had their home and insurance $$. Accidents happen every day, you know! 

Amanda <---not always nice


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## Faith's mommy (Feb 26, 2007)

there were quite a few of us at the time who wouldn't have swerved if we saw him crossing the street... oh, the stories i could tell about that jerk.


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