# Help me channel calm!!



## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Okay, this is more of a ME behavior issue I think than Sammy  but I need help... or maybe I don't, and then just tell me to get over it.

Samson is our 1.5 year old rescue Golden, who spent a year with a family under unknown circumstances and then ended up with a backyard breeder who kept him locked up in a small outdoor kennel for six months. Considering this, he is doing FABULOUS! His biggest issue right now is just that he was never properly socialized (I suspect) and he is also still insecure (thought getting better by the day!) This makes him nervous around strangers and more protective of me and my family than he should be. When we first got him (like the first 24 hours) he would snarl and snap at anyone new he met. As soon as he got to know them, he would be fine. But he was NOT good with meeting new folks. He has literally gotten better BY THE DAY, and now he is fine with meeting new people in our house, as long as I let them in while he is locked up, and then let him out to meet them - he is friendly just the way you would expect a Golden to be. We worked on this a lot his first week and he was great. In other situations (which are all still totally new to him) he is still somewhat unpredictable. He was fine on one walk with everyone except the sweet little lady next door, and he growled very mean at her and had his hackles up. When he is in the car with us, he growls and barks at anyone who approaches the car or at a drive-through, etc. This weekend we visited my in laws and he was totally fine with my mother in law but scared of my father in law and growled/barked at him, and started to snap at him once. I have never given him the opportunity to bite anyone, and I've been careful about all of his meetings with new people - making sure they are positive experiences for him, being cautious, etc. And like I said he IS getting better and it's only been two weeks...

Here is my issue/question/problem. I am a nervous wreck when we encounter new people on a walk. In other situations (like my house) I can talk to people before they come over and really control the whole situation. But on a walk, people see a beautiful GOLDEN RETRIEVER and they expect him to be friendly. Sometimes he is, sometimes he's not, and I can't predict it well enough yet. We are working on it. The little old lady next door greeted him exactly like I would have wanted to, but he was scared of her so we just quickly excused ourselves when I could see it was not a good situation. Now when I see someone approaching us, I get really nervous - I think about what if he does bite someone, or what if that person is really stupid and just bends down and sticks his hand in Sammy's face, etc. *I am worried that my nervousness will affect Sammy - that he will sense that something IS wrong, when it's totally NOT! I am afraid that I am making things worse by being anxious during these possible meetings.*

Does anyone have any suggestions - for helping me maneuver socializing a large seemingly friendly dog around unknown people/circumstances without being so nervous? Should I just take a Valium before I go on a walk? :


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

Hi Caroline.
Yes. Your Sammy will pick up on your anxiety. It will travel right down thru that leash. And it's a very hard thing to not be nervous under your circumstances. 

My late Homer was attacked by shitsu that bit me instead and first time in his life he saw red! Thereafter I got nervous approaching small dogs then homer would. 

If it continues to be issue for you maybe trainer familiar with this issue might help?

Also my obedience school trainer said she does not allow leash to leash meetings. And discourages most leashes dog/ human meets as dogs can act different on leads than off lead. She said there is no law that states everyone must meet and greet when passing each other on walks. Just say if approached: sorry dog in training. 

Good luck with sweet Sam.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Thank you! You know, it had not even occurred to me that maybe I should not be the one to walk him while we work on this... since he is getting so much better so rapidly, I might just see if my husband can do the walking for a while until Sammy is more predictable and/or I learn to be less anxious. My husband is definitely the more laid back of the two of us  

I TOTALLY agree about the leash thing. He is much better off leash. It's just hard because I live in the middle of town in a very pedestrian neighborhood, so I need him to be able to handle meeting people on a leash if I want to be able to walk him (and I do!!!) Our side walks are narrow and there are always lots of people on them during our evening walk. I would really like to get to where he can walk to the farmer's market with us Saturday mornings, but that is a ways off. There also aren't many safe opportunities for him to meet people off the leash other than at our house. Our dog park is a nasty, scary place and I refuse to go there. So... I'm not quite sure what to do about the leash issue.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Yep, he will totally pick up on your nerves. Are you all taking classes? That would be a safer situation for working on this, a lot more controller. I absolutely would go that route.


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## USAFWife74 (Jan 13, 2013)

I agree with the previous poster about telling people, "Dog in training".

My trainer is also very picky about who Ellie meets and how. She drilled that into my head before accepting us as clients, because, one bad meeting can really be disastrous! And yes, your dog will pick up on your nerves!

Best wishes!!!!


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

No, unfortunately we aren't doing class right now. Our dog training club is about half an hour away and the class times right now just don't work with our schedules - I have the binders from when we did puppy kindergarten/obedience with our other (late) dogs and am just working with him at home. He is making such great strides, he is the best dog I can imagine - he literally went from snapping at everyone who approached him on Friday (we got him Thursday evening), to slowly being willing to meet people on Saturday, to wagging tail friendly greeting friends who came over on Sunday (and everyone since at our house). 

If I feel at any point like the training is not working with him or I'm in over my head, I will look at getting a private trainer. Right now I feel like _*I*_ have a bigger problem than he does - if I can chill out and be calm, he is already trying really hard to do exactly what I want him to do.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

MominGermany said:


> I agree with the previous poster about telling people, "Dog in training".
> 
> My trainer is also very picky about who Ellie meets and how. She drilled that into my head before accepting us as clients, because, one bad meeting can really be disastrous! And yes, your dog will pick up on your nerves!
> 
> Best wishes!!!!


So does that mean I should not allow him to meet any new people on a leash? Or just maybe "set up" some leash/street people meeting (arranging for a dog person friend to pretend to be a stranger)? 

Right now when we see people in their yards, on their porches, walking by, I just do a really overly friendly "hi!" (this is the South so I can get away with it ) and keep Sammy on a very short leash. I kind of make a quick judgment call about how Sammy is acting and how the person is acting, whether to let them meet or not - but in that moment I am a ball of nerves, and I'm afraid he will really start sensing that strangers on walks make mommy nervous


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

How about instead of dog walks, go
For some dog sits? Go out and find somewhere to sit where people and dogs go by, but he isn't standing facing/approaching those situations? I'm picturing a bench, just a little off to the side of the sidewalk? Or even part of a lawn. Good luck, it will work out. 


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

lhowemt said:


> How about instead of dog walks, go
> For some dog sits? Go out and find somewhere to sit where people and dogs go by, but he isn't standing facing/approaching those situations? I'm picturing a bench, just a little off to the side of the sidewalk? Or even part of a lawn. Good luck, it will work out.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


We do have those spots - there is a promenade type place and a park, both of which are nearby and have benches. I am wondering though if he might be MORE protective of me in that situation? I don't think I would be less nervous... I am feeling Valium in the picture here :uhoh: LOL


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

That's a tough call, I'd go in with an open mind and let him show you. I'd bring something special for him to distract himself if he gets edgy. Or bring training treats and be doing lots of sits, downs, stands, whatever he knows, keep him busy and focused. 


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Consider slowing things down for Sammy- his 'protective behavior' is his way of saying he is not comfortable and is unsure/anxious in the situations he is encountering.
The last few weeks of his life have been a whirlwind of change and commotion - highly 'charged' and very stressful for him - he needs a chance to just relax and settle in. He has gone from no family to a big family - he has gone from backyard pen to living in a home, probably for the first time in his life, he needs some time to get used to it all. Give him some time to bond with you, learn to trust, and build a relationship with his new family, it doesn't happen over night. Give yourself a chance to truly get to know him, practice and reward some basic skills, teach him a trick or two, will help build his confidence in you and your confidence in him. 
Part of problem is that he is already stressed from all the upset, it can take weeks -even months for rehomed dogs to truly relax and believe what has happened to them. Being repeatedly exposed, possibly for the first time ever to new people, new dogs, new situations - it is hard on him and increases the risk of something going 'wrong'. One or two new people in a week is enough, preferably people you know and who can take direction, allow him to approach them, on walks avoid contact with strangers -step in front of him, do a U-turn and walk away - keep him safe. There is lots of time in the future to make meet friends on walks, for how he feels about it is your primary concern.
I understand how thrilled you are to have him but, for his sake, understand that it is not easy for him -take things slowly - he is having to learn a whole new way of living.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

You are doing wonders with sammy Caroline . the trainer suggestion was more for you. how to learn to work with your anxiety on the leash. i am sure there is material in cyberspace about techniques if no time for class or trainer. hubby good idea too.friend of mine had her docile golden become dog aggressive after a couple on leash attacks on her pup. Thereafter friend was anxious when seeing other dogs and problem escalated. she finally worked with trainer specializing in this problem and first thing was solving human anxiety then dogs.
The once unsociable pup now does all sorts of obedience shows with no aggression issues at all.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Charliethree said:


> Consider slowing things down for Sammy- his 'protective behavior' is his way of saying he is not comfortable and is unsure/anxious in the situations he is encountering.
> The last few weeks of his life have been a whirlwind of change and commotion - highly 'charged' and very stressful for him - he needs a chance to just relax and settle in. He has gone from no family to a big family - he has gone from backyard pen to living in a home, probably for the first time in his life, he needs some time to get used to it all. Give him some time to bond with you, learn to trust, and build a relationship with his new family, it doesn't happen over night. Give yourself a chance to truly get to know him, practice and reward some basic skills, teach him a trick or two, will help build his confidence in you and your confidence in him.
> Part of problem is that he is already stressed from all the upset, it can take weeks -even months for rehomed dogs to truly relax and believe what has happened to them. Being repeatedly exposed, possibly for the first time ever to new people, new dogs, new situations - it is hard on him and increases the risk of something going 'wrong'. One or two new people in a week is enough, preferably people you know and who can take direction, allow him to approach them, on walks avoid contact with strangers -step in front of him, do a U-turn and walk away - keep him safe. There is lots of time in the future to make meet friends on walks, for how he feels about it is your primary concern.
> I understand how thrilled you are to have him but, for his sake, understand that it is not easy for him -take things slowly - he is having to learn a whole new way of living.


Thanks for this perspective.

I'm not exposing him to lots of new people and things because I am excited to have him (though of course I am!) but because I want him to experience this new world that he is living in (which is full of new people all the time - not artificially, we just live in the middle of a city and have lots of visitors/neighbors/etc.) and know that _it is all good_. My only experience socializing was with a puppy, when we really were told to expose him to as many new things as possible - and did constantly. So far Sammy has been a rockstar and every day seems more at ease than the day before - if he had been acting more stressed out I would have backed off.

I get what you are saying though. I guess I am torn on what to think... On the one hand, I guess I am/was afraid that if I do something like what you are describing - stepping in front of strangers, doing a u-turn, and walking away - that he is going to learn that in this new world, strangers are dangerous or should be avoided. 

Right now he is constantly learning what this new life is all about - looking to me to tell him (with my attitude - which is why this thread!) what is okay and what is not okay. Every day we encounter something and he learns what it means now (yummy meat on the kitchen counter = not allowed to have it... mailman coming on the front porch = perfectly okay... little kids running around squealing = happy good thing... baby crying = not dog's fault, mom will take care of it, not to worry... going on walk/car ride/trip to the vet or the woods = exciting adventure that leads back home... brush = good... etc.) And what has been so amazing about Sammy is that, unlike some rescue/foster dogs I've had/known, is that for the most part he has learned each of those things by encountering them ONE time. New experience + my reaction = Sammy figured it out. So using that same thinking with the strangers on walks, that is why I am worried about my reaction. If my reaction is to ensure that we avoid strangers even if it means doing something pretty dramatic like turning and walking away from them - does that tell him that strangers are bad in his new world?

On the other hand, I think I have been doing what you're saying to a certain degree, because I have on purpose only taken him on walks where his exposure to people is limited. We go early in the morning and in the evening and take a relatively quiet route (we might see 2-3 people on each walk). I don't take him on our walk to the farmer's market, or to the park trails with tons of people, etc. Because I don't want to over-do it or push my luck or get into a situation where there are bunch of people and I can't control who approaches him. We'll work up to those things in the coming months, and I'm in no rush.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Even with troubled dogs...working on sits, downs, recalls and _expecting them to learn _, even though you may feel sorry for them and the circumstances they have left, is a real confidence boost for uncertain dogs and goes a LONG way to bonding them to you and trusting that you are a predictable force in their life. 


You might really like the book by Leslie McDevitt called "Control Unleashed Puppy" (which is great for adult dogs too)..

There is a game called Look At That (LAT) where the dog is rewarded for looking at things that may trouble them.
The key is highly managing the environment and having the dog under threshold which would be really difficult for you...but working on the principles in the environment you can control would still be helpful.

Donna Hill's video is one of the most complete Ive seen on Youtube...
There are many others...some good...some not so good...


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I wonder about you getting him a muzzle, to start with, then you won't be so nervous,and he will know that,then as training goes on, you can remove it.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

LibertyME said:


> Even with troubled dogs...working on sits, downs, recalls and _expecting them to learn _, even though you may feel sorry for them and the circumstances they have left, is a real confidence boost for uncertain dogs and goes a LONG way to bonding them to you and trusting that you are a predictable force in their life.
> 
> 
> You might really like the book by Leslie McDevitt called "Control Unleashed Puppy" (which is great for adult dogs too)..
> ...


That is SO COOL!!! This would also help ME because if I am that intensely focused on training him, I won't be just idly being a nervous wreck.

Sammy has had some training at some point in his past plus is extremely smart and eager to please and food motivated - making him VERY fun and rewarding to train! My biggest problem right now is that he is so worn out at the end of the day, he crashes the same time my kids do (7:30-8:00pm) and doesn't want to get back up when I have more time to work with him. But during the day when we get little windows of time or when I make him sit/stay for things like getting fed, he is doing great. I think you are so right too about his confidence... I think for one thing, he desperately wants to fit into this life and wants to know exactly how to behave, so giving him commands in different circumstances and rewarding him is helping him feel secure that he does indeed belong here.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

goldensrbest said:


> I wonder about you getting him a muzzle, to start with, then you won't be so nervous,and he will know that,then as training goes on, you can remove it.


I had not even considered this. Thank you! I've never used a muzzle - is there anything I should know when buying/using it? Does it keep him from being able to take treats while he's wearing it? I think this might be a helpful thing to try until I feel totally confident that he won't bite...


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I have never used one, just thought it might be good for you to try, while you are walking him,and training him,until you feel secure that he would not bite, he has had a lot of change in his life,i would go slow with him.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

The caution with muzzles is that they may reduce your anxiety, but _they dont reduce his_....

In some cases because your anxiety is lower...you may unknowingly put him in situations where he is stressed and more likely to be pushed over the edge to act out...

The more times he experiences a stressor and responding with growls & teeth, the more certain he will become that using a growl & teeth is really effective at making 'XYZ' go away from him. 

Ultimately the harder & longer you will have to work to override his response....just food for thought...

They can have their place in a pets life. It is not a bad idea to have one and have the dog used to wearing one even if for short periods of time...(I have a muzzle and have had a dog that needed one at the vet's office for bloodwork etc.)


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

I like the suggestions LibertyME gave you. _It took 15 to 16 months to make Samson the dog he is you don't want to rush through anything. The idea is to change his emotions toward the things that are causing him to act out inappropriately. You want to build his confidence and change his emotional response to those things. You want to do it slowly not moving forward until he is happy and calm in each situation. The look at that game would start out at a distance rewarding for being able to calmly look at the item/person that is causing the pup to feel uncomfortable. If at any time Samson gets to practice the inappropriate behaviors you have gone to close/to fast in your training. _

_When dogs are uncomfortable or fearful and act out it brings an adrenalin rush so that they are actually self rewarding for the bad behavior. Think of when we watch scary movies and we feel the fear but we do it again and again because of the rush. This self rewards the dog for the behaviors you do not want so you don't want to train at that point you want to not let that happen and train before that point in the dogs emotions._

_There is also a second reward for that inappropriate behavior. When Samson acts all big and barks the scary things go away. This is teaching Samson that he should act inappropriately. Don't let it happen as it is building bad habits._


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## USAFWife74 (Jan 13, 2013)

I really think you should make an effort to meet with a trainer, at least a few times. It's hard to say exactly how you should be reacting without seeing what your dog is doing, and how its reacting. 

I think the muzzle may hinder. Strangers will act differently towards a dog with a muzzle on, and that could give off different vibes.

Ellie will bark, rather than bite, if she is afraid. There have only been a handful of people that she has barked at, and it's usually been if they have something in their hands, or heaven forbid, a hat on their head! =) She's at the point now, where if she begins to start showing fear, I redirect her attention to me. I ask people to stand sideways, not in a confrontational manner. If she seeks to know them, it's fine. If she prefers not, I tell them she is not ready. But, it took time for me to learn her body language.

Best wishes!!!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sammy*

I think meeting with a trainer once or twice, would be a huge help and they can tell you how to proceed with training Sammy. Perhaps he is more "afraid," on walks or when meeting new people, because he never did these things before.
It's all new to him.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Hmm... well, I was really just asking for advice on how to help ME stay calm in these situations, because I honestly think Sammy is doing great and I think I do know how to train him. I think the only thing that could hinder progress is my anxiety, which is what I was asking for help with.

Remember TWO WEEKS ago Sammy snarled and snapped at _everyone_. He snapped at me and my daughter when we first met. He growled and barked and bared his teeth at my husband when they first met. The next day he snarled at visitors who stopped at my house and barked like the biggest meanest dog you've ever heard when the mailman came by. I think I have handled it all correctly, because now he is meeting new people and having people come to our house almost every day and he is fine 90% of the time. That is *HUGE *progress in two weeks!!! I have no doubt that we will be able to master meeting the other 10% of people on walks and work on new people coming through our front door - as y'all have said, it will just take a little more time and I am in NO WAY saying that I think he is not making enough progress or I am having a hard time helping him overcome his stranger anxiety. My only real problem right now is that I have found myself getting anxious when we encounter people on walks and I want to really pull off being calm and happy to meet someone so that Sammy can have yet another encounter where a stranger is not mean to him. Because I can see clear as day that literally every day he is more confident than the day before. I think actually my anxiety is not so much that he will bite and I won't be able to control him, but that I want sooooooooooooo badly for the interaction to go well that I start kind of building the whole thing up in my mind and running through all the possible scenarios - and I am anything but laid back by the time we actually get up to the person. 

Believe me, I'm not saying I am some sort of perfect dog trainer or can't use advice - and I do appreciate it all - I'm just saying I really don't think (right now at least) I need help with _Sammy_, because what I am doing is working. I do need help with my own anxiety level, because I am afraid that we will not be able to overcome the last of his stranger anxiety if I am anxious. 

I think the Look At That game would be really fun and would help. I am still not convinced that avoiding all strangers on walks is the right approach. I am debating the muzzle idea.

Also, every dog I've ever had has met strangers they didn't like - I usually assume they know something I don't and respect that. But in Sammy's case, based on how he was two weeks ago, I know that right now it is a fear/insecurity/protectiveness thing that we need to get him over. We're making great strides, but we're not totally there yet (which is fine!) Once I feel like he is not fearful/anxious of new situations, I am fine with him choosing not to meet certain people - as long as I can trust that he will just give a little bark or growl and move on. Just like I am not correcting him when he barks when someone comes up on the front porch - he just needs to stop and be mellow when I tell him it's fine (which he is getting SO good at!! He really is amazing.)

I should mention too, I am to the point that I trust Sammy not to actually bite (to the extent you can trust any dog not to bite - I think ALL dogs have the potential to bite and we need to act accordingly). When he snapped at people his first 24 hours with us, it was VERY clear that he had no intention of hurting anyone (and he didn't) - it was just a clear "get away from me" move. He now gives ample warning (snarl/hackles up) first, so I am pretty confident that I can prevent snapping as long as I have some control over what the other person is doing. We have hurt Sammy a couple of times pulling ticks off him including one on his eyelid and one on his neuter incision and he did bite - but it was also a very gentle bite accompanied by a yelp and followed by licking and whining. All that to say, Sammy is not an "aggressive" dog, he just has some insecurities we are working through. I am trying to find a balance between not over-sheltering him and not overwhelming him. Like I said before, I am taking my cues from him - as long as he is becoming more confident and better every day, we are moving forward. If he were to show any signs of getting more anxious or fearful, we would definitely re-evaluate what we are doing. And I'm not opposed to bringing in help if I think I need it.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Karen519 said:


> I think meeting with a trainer once or twice, would be a huge help and they can tell you how to proceed with training Sammy. Perhaps he is more "afraid," on walks or when meeting new people, because he never did these things before.
> It's all new to him.


And yes, I am certain that he was not taken on walks and that even if/when he lived with a family prior to being with the trainer, he was not every socialized - maybe not ever even taken out of the house? I think he was also hit and got in trouble a lot around a child or children. And he's afraid of the dark and I get really sad thinking about what it was like out in the country where it was pitch black locked in a little outdoor kennel 

But he is making such great progress I have ZERO doubt that we will be able to overcome ALL of this and have a 100% happy and confident dog!


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## USAFWife74 (Jan 13, 2013)

With dog trainers, it's 100% teaching the owner, not the dog. Lol. Sometimes it is nice to have another eye on the situation. It may even help your confidence! 


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

lhowemt said:


> How about instead of dog walks, go
> For some dog sits? Go out and find somewhere to sit where people and dogs go by, but he isn't standing facing/approaching those situations? I'm picturing a bench, just a little off to the side of the sidewalk? Or even part of a lawn. Good luck, it will work out.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


This is a great idea, but take it a step further. Take some really, really great treats with you, and when someone walks by feed him treats if he sits quietly and doesn't react. 

Once he masters sitting quietly while people walk by, next step, have people you know stop by where you are sitting say hello, one or two sentence conversation, and then walk on. All the time you are talking keep feeding him treats. Do that until he is calm when people stop to talk and doesn't react. 

Next step would be having someone greet you, then greet Sammy and offer him a treat, but not pet him. Eventually they can pet him, but only after you've practiced enough that he is ok with it. You will need friends or family to help you, and eventually have strangers do it as well.

The idea being, people walking by, people stopping to talk with you, people saying hi to him all result in that yummy treat so in his mind = good.


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## Altairss (Sep 7, 2012)

When I got Boots from a rescue he came with a whole huge set of problems far beyond Sammy. Some of those issues shook my confidence on how to handle walks. A friend that is a certified behaviorist and dog trainer gave me this advise to help me feel in control which translated down the leash to Boot.

First I got a big treat bag and stock it well. When I walked I walked with the dog near the grass verge of the sidewalk when someone approached I use my leg to guide Boots off the walk into the grass. I would treat as I walked by the people to create a positive situation for the dog and myself. If Boots was too focused and did not want the treat I would talk and praise him. I always kept my body between him and anyone that was passing. If someone stopped to talk or wanted to get close or pet Boots I would say sorry this is my new rescue he still feels unsure so we are not ready for meeting and greeting yet.


This stopped most people it gave me a buffer which relaxed me I just never knew how Boots would react at first this also gave me time to study his body language and learn it. If someone was really pushy oh let me help or I really want to say hi. I would say hey you know you can help I will give you this dog cookie and you can toss it to him so he knows new people are nice. If all else fails I would use I am sorry but no not today I don't want to scare him when he is still getting used to his new home and then walk away.
With your body between them if they step forward you can step or further angle your body between them and Sammy. I always let Boots see them I just made them give him room so as not to pressure him or make him anxious as time went on and he became comfortable I let people in closer and his body language told me when he wanted to greet.

I used the treats to give Boots positive reinforcement and it gave me something to do that felt positive and it distracts you from feeling anxious I still use this when people try and bring dogs right in his face he doesn't like it and I step in front of him or block with my body and ask them hey Boots is a rescue he is uncomfortable with new dogs right now can you please not bring your dog to greet him. It puts pressure on them to be responsible and allows him to know they are not coming over and jumping on him. Give yourself time to learn your new dog it is okay to speak out and ask others to be respectful of your space even in a busy sidewalk situation.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Great advice!!! Thank you!


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

But aren't you nervous,because of the way Sammy might react? Some private lessons might help you,and him.


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

I think you'll be less nervous when you have an accumulation of positive experiences together, when over time you've seen Sammy react positively to many situations, when you can accurately anticipate how he's going to react to a situation and trust that you can direct him to respond appropriately . I agree with the advice somewhere above to give him time to adjust and go slowly, gradually increasing the number and type of people etc. It takes time.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

While I don't use this harness I see them used at agility trials and lots of dog sport places. Search Results : JULIUS-K9 US You don't even have to hook him up to the harness, but the neat thing is that you can get name plates made for the side that say various things like "Ask First" "Don't Pet", "Training" "Don't Approach", etc. Maybe this would work in public.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

TheZ's said:


> I think you'll be less nervous when you have an accumulation of positive experiences together, when over time you've seen Sammy react positively to many situations, when you can accurately anticipate how he's going to react to a situation and trust that you can direct him to respond appropriately . I agree with the advice somewhere above to give him time to adjust and go slowly, gradually increasing the number and type of people etc. It takes time.


Yes, I am already doing this.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Tayla's Mom said:


> While I don't use this harness I see them used at agility trials and lots of dog sport places. Search Results : JULIUS-K9 US You don't even have to hook him up to the harness, but the neat thing is that you can get name plates made for the side that say various things like "Ask First" "Don't Pet", "Training" "Don't Approach", etc. Maybe this would work in public.


Huh, that is cool!! I wonder if, like the muzzle, it might make other people treat him differently (like make them fear him, increasing anxiety all around)? Maybe I should wear a t-shirt that say TALK TO ME IGNORE MY DOG right across my boobs


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Aw, you are an amazing mom to care so much and seek to always do the right things for Sammy. Sammy hit the doggie lottery with you and your family  You guys are doing amazingly well for just a little over two weeks with a boy who had very little socialization previous to his being locked in a small pen by himself for a full third of his young life.

The rescues we've had that came with issues - be it from neglect, lack of socialization, abuse, etc. - were all good within 6 months or less. 

When _you_ get stressed simply use these yoga positions and you should be good by the time you untangle yourself LOL  :


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

OMG Danny ha ha ha ha ha ha! That second guy with the eyeballs? Ha ha ha ha ha!


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Oooooooooommmmmmm


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Maybe I should print off those pictures and look at them while walking Sammy. I will be so disturbed while at the same time cracking up that I will forget to be nervous about how our next stranger interaction goes... hmmm... that in combination with the special shirt that says "TALK TO ME" should get me thrown in the loony bin by my neighbors and then I won't have to worry about anything ever again.


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

caroline162 said:


> Maybe I should print off those pictures and look at them while walking Sammy. I will be so disturbed while at the same time cracking up that I will forget to be nervous about how our next stranger interaction goes... hmmm... that in combination with the special shirt that says "TALK TO ME" should get me thrown in the loony bin by my neighbors and then I won't have to worry about anything ever again.


That's the spirit! Get in the zone like the 2nd guy there with the eyeballs


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Mantra for dogs: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrf"


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I have a thought. If you, or who is walking Sammy, carried a treat bag and whenever he sees a new person you give him treats maybe he may associate new people with good things happening. You might even have some at your front door and any new person coming to the house could pick some up and throw them on the ground around Sammy. New Person=treats ????? I have to tell people with dogs we have never met to not approach Gambler to fast. He was attacked by another dog when he was a year old and so is now defensive with dogs who come up too fast into his space. I like "dog in training" idea!!!


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Yes I have a jar of treats on my front porch. That's how we have made so much progress with people coming in 

I don't know why I haven't been bringing treats on walks, but it is SO part of my plan now!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sammy*



caroline162 said:


> And yes, I am certain that he was not taken on walks and that even if/when he lived with a family prior to being with the trainer, he was not every socialized - maybe not ever even taken out of the house? I think he was also hit and got in trouble a lot around a child or children. And he's afraid of the dark and I get really sad thinking about what it was like out in the country where it was pitch black locked in a little outdoor kennel
> 
> But he is making such great progress I have ZERO doubt that we will be able to overcome ALL of this and have a 100% happy and confident dog!


Sammy has come such a LONG WAY, and now he'll NEVER know that loneliness and fear, again! So glad you have one another!


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

I recommend clicker training too, are you working on that? It is amazing for shaping behavior. I highly recommend it. What a lucky dog!


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

lhowemt said:


> I recommend clicker training too, are you working on that? It is amazing for shaping behavior. I highly recommend it. What a lucky dog!
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


No, we didn't use clickers for obedience with our other dogs, but it has always been intriguing to me. I have been doing some reading/YouTube watching and have thought about it with Sammy. We've always just done Bil Jak training in the past


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## USAFWife74 (Jan 13, 2013)

Clicker training helped Ellie so much!!!! Such a positive way for them to learn good behaviors!


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## rooroch (Nov 7, 2012)

I already had the T shirt idea but was unsure whether to suggest it!!! I had thought of "Dog in Training, please ignore". That combined with you handing out treats whenever you pass by people with or without another dog and telling him "what a good boy" he is might all work and ease some of your anxiety.
Mine are off leash all the time and we met two loose dogs (without owners) in our woods the other day. They went to "talk" to them and then just continued to follow me on our walk. I had treats and praised them a lot. I was so proud of them. Both now 18 months old.


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

rooroch said:


> I already had the T shirt idea but was unsure whether to suggest it!!! I had thought of "Dog in Training, please ignore". That combined with you handing out treats whenever you pass by people with or without another dog and telling him "what a good boy" he is might all work and ease some of your anxiety.
> Mine are off leash all the time and we met two loose dogs (without owners) in our woods the other day. They went to "talk" to them and then just continued to follow me on our walk. I had treats and praised them a lot. I was so proud of them. Both now 18 months old.


Wow that is awesome!! :nchuck:

Sammy is pretty good with other dogs - he wants to play, but he will leave them be if I tell him to come. There is a whole pack of really obnoxious neglected dogs that live near us and every time we walk by there they go TOTALLY nuts. Other dogs I've walked past their fence would go nuts. Sammy does want to run over there, but he is still manageable on the leash and will come along when I tell him to.


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## Mirinde (Jun 8, 2011)

Bring treats on walks and watch for the following signs when interacting with new people : 

Calming signals : 
- full body shakes (like shaking off water, not quivering shaking)
- lip licking
- sniffing the ground 
- full body or head turn aways from the person
- "kiss-offs" -- where he licks a person quickly and then turns away

Making good choices : 
- Looking at you
- Offering any known command
- Placing himself calmly next to you instead of barking
- Keeping a loose leash and loose body language

These are all signs of your dog appropriately trying to cope with a stressful situation, reward them all, _especially_ looking at you. Keeping an eye on the calming signals will also help tell you when you need to remove him out of a situation. For example, if you are interacting with a neighbor and he has warmed up enough to let the neighbor pet him, that would probably be a very exciting event! But if he is offering lots of lip licks, or repeatedly turning his head away from the neighbor, or backing up to shake off his body, that means he is trying to politely communicate stress, _not_ that he is comfortable. It's your job to spot that and say "Good boy!", and give him the reward he wants most-- to be out of that situation! You are so right to teach him that strangers bring good and happy things, but take care to also teach him that he has polite and respectful choices available to him that will be listened to when he is just plain not interested in appeasing those strangers.

How will this help with your anxiety? Well, from my last few months of experience (we've been in a reactive dog class since April), it's really hard to start freaking out when your brain is distracted paying attention to all these things and actively training! In addition, knowing the cues that dogs use to communicate discomfort BEFORE they escalate to barking and hackles and snapping will give you the confidence that you can intervene in a situation before it becomes a problem. For example, if a stranger is approaching from a distance (say 20ft), and Samson is already licking his lips, unable to respond to you, or shaking off his body, you know right there that he is already stressed and you have 20ft to start formulating a game plan whether that be getting ready to coach him through a meeting (probably not a great idea yet) or moving to the other side of the street and counter-conditioning him from a distance (rapid fire treats and praise while he watches the person pass, no matter his reaction). On the flip side, if he is happily looking to you, offering a command, being quiet and respectful, you can have relative confidence that he is feeling alright about things and you can use that! Make absolutely sure that you are rewarding him with what he finds valuable for that behavior. For a dog that is unsure about meeting people, meeting people is not the reward. A quick little game of tug or an extra exciting stick to carry or a super rare treat will be much more appreciated. However, meeting people may very quickly become the reward as he gets more comfortable 

Sorry for the novel... I hope this helps. Anyone who has trained a reactive dog can relate to your anxiety right now. Samson is beautiful and I'm sure you're having a hard time keeping everyone from clobbering him with loves!


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## caroline162 (Jun 11, 2013)

Mirinde said:


> Bring treats on walks and watch for the following signs when interacting with new people :
> 
> Calming signals :
> - full body shakes (like shaking off water, not quivering shaking)
> ...


This is fantastic - thank you!! :smooch:

And you are so right about your last point - I have noticed dealing with this issue is WAY harder with a Golden Retriever, because everyone assumes he is the friendliest tamest sweetest dog in the world (which he is but not right now with strangers). It's so funny because my mom had this 120 lb Rottweiler that everyone was terrified of, and it was so sad because I LOVED people and was the biggest sweetheart you will ever meet, and I just couldn't get people to greet him because they were so scared of him. I would have trusted Otis not to bite in almost any situation that I can envision short of straight-up torture!


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