# I have the worst luck -warning long (hit done before it was!)



## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

. So I went to the Frederick speciality show..and it didn't start off so good to begin with..like I should have known that something would have happened. 

The week started out with a huge fight with my hubby (very long and complicated fight but basically did have something to do with my going to the show.) He bowls from about sept/oct until April on Wednesday and has been bowling for 13+ yrs. I have not done anything (like a hobby) up until last year when I got Lilly. But for some reason he has a problem with me doing this, he says it's about money but it's more than that and I realize that now, especially since this happened last may. We went to marriage counseling for a few months and stopped because it was getting hard to find the time to go since he got a new job, my work scheduled changed and the kids are in new daycare..so we had no choice. I could feel things building recently and we had the fight on Tuesday. He decided to give me the silent treatment, even do far as not respond to text messages. I had a few crazy days of trying to get ready for my little trip.

The kids and me spent the night at my moms. Well that night as Lilly and a whole troop of people were going down the stairs she got her tail stepped on by my mom. She didn't realize it but it was too late, Lilly was freaking out and caused more problems trying to get away.:doh:

Didn't know how bad until later that night, she wouldn't use her tail and was quite painful. Great start to the trip. I stopped for aspirin on the way to Maryland in the morning, didn't help much . We arrived with plenty of time and I did warm her up and although she wasn't using her tail she seemed to move around pretty good, so I figured I would give it a go..well she wouldn't move very well in the ring after all. 

The next day is when my breeder and some others I knew would be there and they were going to bring some better pain meds, but still no help.. I decided to not show her. I didn't want the same performance as before and the others were saying the same thing. So this trip I've been looking forward to was a bust.. I have unluck.

Well when I get back home, yet another huge fight with hubby. Just keeps getting better. Then my breeder emailed me saying Lilly is a bit skinny, and shouldn't be shown at the show in 2 weeks. More great news. 

I have upped her food to help, and her tail is getting better, hoping it will be at 100% by then, but I still want to show her. This was going to be her last conformation show for awhile anyways because I was going to focus on obedience while she does mature. Should I show or keep her out? I want to do it for the experience. I know she can move really well and we both have been getting better. I don't know what to do, al I know I can't take much more bad stuff. Today I wound up getting sick too. The fun won't stop!


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## vcm5 (Apr 20, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear this! Everyone deserves to have a hobby!


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## goldhaven (Sep 3, 2009)

I say, "go for it". Just keep doing it. It takes time to get it right. Most importantly, have fun. This is your hobby. Don't let the setbacks get you down. Look at it as a learning experience.


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## Kmullen (Feb 17, 2010)

What did your breeder think of her besides being to skinny? You do not need to "keep" her out. But, if there are shows not to far from you, enter for fun and experience. If the breeder thinks she structurally looks good then ask what else could you be doing besides fattening her up a little.

I am so sorry you and your husband are having trouble and hope it all works out soon.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

Yes I think everyone should have at least the opportunity to have a hobby and to have someone their for support, but he does neither of these for me.. But I told him from the get go before we even got serious in dating that this was one of my dreams/goals (in fact everyone in my life know about this) and I have continued to tell him as these years have passed by, even a year talking about getting Lilly just to prepare him on that.

One reason I did enter the show is because it's the one show that is near me, only 45 mins away. Pretty much the only comment the breeder made was her being skinny and her coat still hasn't come in and was a teeny bit on the dry side (I hardly thought so maybe a bit on top). So maybe she's going throught a coat change or going to come into heat again, she's due in may or June. I told her I do plan to show her if her tail is better and she's looking fuller.:crossfing She already is looking like the increase of food is helping. She's getting 3 cups twice a day, she had been getting 2-2 1/2 c twice a day. She burns it off running around with the JRT. 

Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement.:wave:


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## lgnutah (Feb 26, 2007)

Sometimes women are so used to giving, giving, giving that they forget they need to look after themselves. Unfortunately, those at the other end of the giving situation (recipients of all her giving) instead react with selfish outrage when she does begin to "indulge" in a little self care.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I"m so sorry. Hope things get better for you soon. Chase those dreams, you deserve it.


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## Jige (Mar 17, 2011)

If this is your dream than go for it. Dont let anyone stand in your way. If Lily's coat is a little dry maybe you could add a little lard to her diet. Not a lot but a teaspoon 3x a wks or get some flaxseed oil both would help make her coat shiny.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

I have just the flaxseed granules will that work? I have her on fish oils too. I was thinking of doing a conditioner after the shampoo will that help? I don't want to make her too soft. 

It's def been long enough to where I deserve some "me" time. Having two kids and him continuing to bowl all through the pregnancys, infant stages, two children to handle by myself..I need a break!


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I don't know anything about you, like how old you are, but as a person that is 60, if you have dreams that are reasonable,your sure sounds it, don't give it up.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

Lol I'm 31.. Who feels like 50 some days.. But I have set these goals/dreams since I was a kid.. I had wanted to become a vet, but I messed up in school but decided to be a vet tech so I went to school for that (not easy either but not as long as vet school) but showing/obedience dogs (specifically goldens) was my other dream. I usually get to my goals and no matter how long they take, and I think me not having another hobby, one outside the house, had me wanting to get it started. I figured he would be understanding of that, but nope, apparently I was suppose to continue to wait more years.. But my thought was he's Been doing the bowling thing he should step aside from that and let me have a turn. 

Life is never easy I have found out, but since this was never a secret I'm not going to give up on this..and he will have to learn how to deal with it!


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## vcm5 (Apr 20, 2011)

I agree - its your turn! You deserve this and you should absolutely go for it!


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

My husband can be weird about the dog shows, but as the kids have gotten older and oh, yes, I've been doing it for 22 years... He seems to be less annoyed with it. He plays hockey three nights/week and I never complain. And I encourage him to golf in the summer. Everyone needs a hobby...


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Sometimes I think husbands just don't understand why you would be interested in something, because they aren't. Just as we probably don't understand all the passion they have for certain sports, etc.

Years ago, I got all excited because a found a great photography class, I was ready to register until my husband made a remark that he thought it would be a waste of money. Or if I go to a scrapbooking class, he doesn't understand why it is 3 hours long. He doesn't get mad, but he just doesn't understand why I am interested.

Raising three kids myself, I wish I did take more time by myself as a mother. Follow your dreams, and it is a great hobby to do with your kids as they get older.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

I've been taking private lessons with my OTCH friend on Fridays...my husband is off every third Friday. The last one he had off, he said,"what are you doing today?". The answer: dog training. Then the next day (Saturday) I go to a group class... He asked me where I was going, and then said, but didn't you do that yesterday? We've been together almost thirty years. Before dogs, it was a horse I did combined training with... He should be used to it by now....


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## golden_eclipse (Apr 1, 2011)

I have a completely different experience when it comes to my hobby. I mean, my boyfriend really loves my dogs, and he always loves going to shows with us (and is very helpful at that). He doesn't do as much training, and will be more lazy about exercising them than me, but by no means does it confuse him why I want to do it all the time. But he has his own interests like studying Law and language, that he wants to do all the time, so I guess he understands what its like to be really interested in something. We also value independence as one of our most important qualities to maintain in our relationship. I also think it should be a requirement for a healthy relationship that each partner has time to themselves, and that you have your own interests. It prevents one partner from having too much control over the other partner's emotional well being. 

I think the OP should show her girl even if she is too skinny, because that experience is invaluable. Each time you enter the ring, you will become better and more relaxed, and absolutely learn a lot. Its also good to get back up after a rough start. If you don't go right away you might be a bit more gun shy to sign up for another show.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

Again thanks for all the kind responses! The thing that bothers me the most about all of this fight more has to do with my hubby not supporting me (regardless if he likes it or not) like I support him in his bowling. I encourage him to even do tournaments and he has done a few, never has won any yet. I also remind him that he can only get better with practice and hey maybe we can all go out bowling as a family and you can practice then..but he doesn't . He also made the comment that my handling classes and obedience class are the equilvant of him bowling ..which I did laugh at because my goal is to show my dog ..not to just keep practicing(which is cheaper than his bowling nights), and the shows are part of the whole picture whether it was in the conformation ring or the obedience ring. 

As of right now I do plan on showing Lilly at the show next weekend. Her tail is doing better everyday and to me the experience is what I am there for, considering this is my first show/obedience dog. I'm not a big time handler/owner/breeder so only a few people know me out there and I don't really think people know enough about me to talk about me or my dog, plus if they look at it, I may just be an easy one for their dog to win over mine..though I hope to prove them wrong one day..I think Lilly is beautiful and hope she comes into herself!


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## hvgoldens4 (Nov 25, 2009)

Hubby and I have been married for almost 23 years. Many, many moons ago, he did sometimes complain about me going to classes(I started in goldens doing competitive obedience but now do conformation). I just used to tell him: "Would you like me to shoot you and the kids or have me go to class??" My way of telling him that this was some much needed time away from home! lol 

He goes with me to shows, is wonderful kennel help and helps raise litters. He even goes with me to handling run-thru's now! lol Yes, he still sometimes complains about it-but I think that is just a man thing.

Keep on keeping on!!! I think they eventually get the idea that this "hobby" isn't going to go away. 

My son on the other hand-he totally gets it. I have driven him all over the US to play baseball and while he is now 21, he totally understands this is a passion, bordering on an obsession with me with the dogs!  He told me years ago that I needed to go to the show(I was thinking of not going because sooooo much going on at home) because dog shows were my baseball. Gosh, I love that kid!!!


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

hvgoldens4 said:


> Hubby and I have been married for almost 23 years. Many, many moons ago, he did sometimes complain about me going to classes(I started in goldens doing competitive obedience but now do conformation). I just used to tell him: "Would you like me to shoot you and the kids or have me go to class??" My way of telling him that this was some much needed time away from home! lol
> 
> He goes with me to shows, is wonderful kennel help and helps raise litters. He even goes with me to handling run-thru's now! lol Yes, he still sometimes complains about it-but I think that is just a man thing.
> 
> ...


This nearly mirrors our experience. We have been married 32 years. When the boys were small, my husband was more inclined to complain about me going to shows. I never complained about his fishing or hunting, and when he was particularly grumpy about me leaving I would _gently _remind him of that.  I always made sure that the house was clean, laundry done, and food/ready made meals were prepared before I left to make things easier for him. I never entered shows that conflicted with any of the boys games, nor hunting season. And when they weren't playing hockey, the boys often went with me, and Paul handled successfully himself - still does whenever he can. Over the years he has become more and more supportive, and he borders on being obsessed with "his" Pointers, and of course Tommy. He's very proud of our accomplishments - which I of course hear second hand from friends and his co-workers - heaven forbid he tell _me!!! _


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I also think that sometimes husbands may even get a little jealous of the bonds and the attention we give to our dogs. When we first got married I could sense that with my husband, he never came out and said it though. Now, he is just as crazy over them as I am.


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## CarolinaCasey (Jun 1, 2007)

Keep your chin up and chase your hobby. I enjoy it and think as much as a dog show can be a crap shoot, it is a weekend for friends and fun. You deserve that too. 

I'm trying to put weight on my 8 month old puppy. He is getting 2 cups 3x a day and some Bil Jac on top. He is just growing like a weed and he had the poopies a few weeks ago and he lost some weight. If you can get the frozen Bil Jac, people have told me it will help quickly.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

Well Lilly is feeling better, tail carriage improving everyday! She already has gained some weight and seems to be enjoying the extra food, except this morning when she wouldn't eat, don't know if the medicines are making her tummy upset so I skipped the morning doses. She's on rimadyl and antibiotics for her skin, did notice couple little red bumps, mainly on her back. Also saw a red circular rash on her inner leg, not sure what that is, hoping its nothing but a little sore from playing with the JRT. Will bring her along to work with me tomorrow or Tuesday if I can, depends on my kids think they are sick again too! Have a feeling I will be taking them to their doctors in the morning before work. It's never ending!


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