# We returned our puppy :(



## Loisiana (Jul 29, 2009)

I strongly recommend if you try again you get an older dog.


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## Capt Jack (Dec 29, 2011)

You did the right thing. It sounds like you're not ready for a puppy. Goldens will always need people around & training is hard but worth it.


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## Tahnee GR (Aug 26, 2006)

I agree-I don't believe you were ready for a puppy. I would suggest a young adult next time, especially if this is your first dog.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

Oh wow, that pup had 48 hrs to get used to a new environment, people, training etc? Glad the breeder took him back. He deserves a good loving home. 


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I think this was best for him.


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## Saints girl (Jan 7, 2014)

Sounds like a normal puppy to me.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

I concur. A puppy is not for you. Its takes most puppies at least a week to get used to a new home environment. A couple months for potty training and from a few days to a few weeks of training on crates. I'm glad the breeder took him back. Have you ever had a dog before? If not they may not be your thing.


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

Happy for the pup that you were able to realize quickly the whole puppy thing isn't for you at this time in your life.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I think you did the right thing, you were not prepared for a puppy. Everything you describe is a totally normal puppy for just 2 days, having been taken away from his littermates, put in a totally alien environment with total strangers he does not know, and he was afraid and didn't know what was expected of him. Every single puppy will start off this way, afraid, crying, lost, and it is completely up to his new family to be patient, love him, comfort him, and keep trying with him until he starts to learn what is expected from him.

So in the future, if you do think about getting a dog again, please keep this in mind. Every puppy will go through this same adjustment, some will takes weeks to settle and get comfortable in their new home. The suggestion of an adult dog instead of a puppy is a very good one.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

An older dog would be your best option in the future. All puppies do this. I wish I could loose weight in 48 hours lol 


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## Loisiana (Jul 29, 2009)

Shellbug said:


> An older dog would be your best option in the future. All puppies do this. I wish I could loose weight in 48 hours lol
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Ha ha, I was just wondering why I GAINED weight after getting a puppy


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## Barkr (Dec 23, 2011)

Your expectations were not realistic, I commend you for recognizing that early and returning him to the breeder.


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

I agree with the others; this is perfectly normal for a puppy. 7 weeks is very young, and it takes much longer than 48 hours for them to get their bearings and learn the ropes in their new homes.

A 7 week old pup is just like having a baby in the house: he needs constant attention, will make messes, will cry, will chew things to bits, will cry some more, will poop on the rug, cry some more, and cause his Momma to lose sleep 

Why not try to adopt an older dog? If you go to a rescue or shelter, you may find a sweet quiet adult dog who could become the love of your life.

Keep in mind that even an older, perfectly housebroken dog can have an "accident" out of confusion, excitement or worry after first moving to a new home. 

Good luck!


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## gmammad (May 31, 2013)

wow, 48 hours.......


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

gmammad said:


> wow, 48 hours.......


This absolutely blows my mind. There is so much that I would like to say, however it feels best if I hold my tongue. However,The only thing I will add is to not consider getting a dog of any age. If a golden puppy can be given up on in 48 hours, God help the older dog who may inadvertently act like a dog and hence wind up in a shelter because it acted like a DOG. Stay an animal free zone, some people do not have the room in their hearts for animals.


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## Kmullen (Feb 17, 2010)

Maybe a cat would have been a better fit


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

Katduf said:


> This absolutely blows my mind. There is so much that I would like to say, however it feels best if I hold my tongue. However,The only thing I will add is to not consider getting a dog of any age. If a golden puppy can be given up on in 48 hours, God help the older dog who may inadvertently act like a dog and hence wind up in a shelter because it acted like a DOG. Stay an animal free zone, some people do not have the room in their hearts for animals.


oh, I don't think it's all that bad...they were overwhelmed and unprepared for a puppy, but they stated very clearly they never would have dumped him at a shelter. They are not heartless, just inexperienced. 

If they try again with an older dog and realistic expectations, it just might work.


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## CRS250 (Dec 31, 2012)

g0kaur02 said:


> He's a very very cute dog and we really tried hard but felt like we were going to go crazy if we kept him another day. Thank god the breeder is my friend so he said we can bring him and he'll make sure he goes to a very good home with yard and lots of open space.


Thank you for recognizing that this puppy was not for you. What you have described sounds exactly like a healthy normal puppy away from his or her litter for the first time. 

We are getting our second puppy in March, our first is now a year and three months old. He is my third Golden Retriever, and I've been around and had dogs my entire life, we have a house with a fenced yard.

To give you an idea of what I think it takes for a puppy to adjust to life with us I am taking 7 days off of work, my wife is doing the same after me, and then my mother is coming to visit for a week. All said our dog will have 24 days of time in which the primary focus will be what you tried to do in 48 hours.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

Pudden said:


> oh, I don't think it's all that bad...they were overwhelmed and unprepared for a puppy, but they stated very clearly they never would have dumped him at a shelter. They are not heartless, just inexperienced.
> 
> If they try again with an older dog and realistic expectations, it just might work.


In the original post, they stated they had done a ton of research and watched videos. The main concern was the carpet, lack of sleep, whining. It wasn't about the pup's needs, it was about theirs. So I don't think any animal would be a 'good fit'.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

CRS250 said:


> To give you an idea of what I think it takes for a puppy to adjust to life with us I am taking 7 days off of work, my wife is doing the same after me, and then my mother is coming to visit for a week. All said our dog will have 24 days of time in which the primary focus will be what you tried to do in 48 hours.


To be fair - most people don't take time off to let their puppy adjust to their new life. I know we didn't. Bear came home at 9 weeks old on a Saturday morning (really afternoon after we went to the vets and everything). Monday morning, we both went to work like normal. Bear got to experience being left alone for the first time in his crate/x-pen combo kit. 

I think those first few weeks, really depends on the puppy. I know when Sweet Girl got her Shala, it was a VERY different experience than she had previously. I know when our foster came, it was so hard, I was tempted to throw my hands up and say I couldn't do this. But Bear was a breeze, for us. Yes, there were accidents. Yes, there was biting and blood was drawn. Yes, there was whining, and crying. But we rolled with it, and Bear rolled with us, and we all adjusted.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Puppies are a lot of work and older dogs also need time to adjust. You might want to work with a rescue or breeder who is able to evaluate your circumstances. It's good that you returned the puppy quickly so it can be placed with a new family.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

Whether puppy or older dog, the one thing I always stress to any potential dog owners is : Before you take the journey to bring another living being of any sort, in to your home, understand that they take time, patience, sense of humor, work and commitment. Above all, they are not disposable. 

When I brought Olliver home at 8 weeks, it had been 11 years since I had a puppy. There were no potty issues whatsoever and he was a sweetheart. But there was a half day period when the level of commitment I just took on, sunk in, and as I was worn out and tired, I cried. An hour later, I sucked it up and moved on, resolute and already in love with the little guy. In spite of that little meltdown, it never once crossed my mind that this dog was returnable. Just not the way my mind works. 

I can't think of too many things in life, that are so worth having, that you don't have to work hard for. 

Glad your breeder was able to take the pup back and get him a good home when you realized a puppy was not for you. Cute little puppies are great in theory and look sweet on the Charmin commercials, but beyond the sweet images, are the realities of potty training, sleepless nights, barking, biting and training. Not for everyone.


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

It's about expectations. A 7-week old puppy is an infant. You can't expect much more from that puppy than you can expect from a human infant.



Brave said:


> To be fair - most people don't take time off to let their puppy adjust to their new life. I know we didn't. Bear came home at 9 weeks old on a Saturday morning (really afternoon after we went to the vets and everything). Monday morning, we both went to work like normal. Bear got to experience being left alone for the first time in his crate/x-pen combo kit.


I don't know, I take weeks off of work whenever I get a new puppy. I think a lot of people do. Don't they?

Ziva is 15 weeks old and last week was my first week leaving her alone, and she still gets her crate + ex-pen all morning, but left out with the other dogs in the afternoon. And I am still going home during the day. But because I spent the time with her as soon as she came home, she is well adjusted, completely potty trained (knock on wood!  ), knows what she can and cannot chew on, and has her routine down pat. And she's a totally happy and well-adjusted puppy (though I cannot _wait_ for her to lose her needle teeth!).

Of course, all of us have the same experience as the OP. We just understand that this is normal and are able to better deal with it. I think the OP was just overwhelmed and expected too much from a little puppy. I've seen new puppy owners stand in front of their puppies and yell "Sit!" over and over, dangling a treat in front of the pup, and getting more and more frustrated when the puppy has no idea what is being asked of him, but boy that treat sure smells good. Right? If you don't know dogs, and if you've never had a puppy, it's a completely alien experience.

Funny, they're all cute and perfectly well behaved on TV...


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## kath00 (Dec 3, 2013)

WOW! My puppies behaved like that for at least a MONTH! Not just 2 days. My small maltipoo took a good 6 months to potty train! We are talking going out every 2 hours for 6 months before she got it down!

DEFINITELY get an adult dog...


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## Susan6953 (Jun 9, 2008)

Does anyone have an opinion about the puppy being taken away from mom at 7 weeks? I thought 8 was more usual and would that have made a difference?

My husband had gotten a cattle dog puppy a few years before I got Jamie so I had a pretty good idea of what to expect but if I hadn't had that experience I would have had no clue.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Brave said:


> To be fair - most people don't take time off to let their puppy adjust to their new life. I know we didn't. Bear came home at 9 weeks old on a Saturday morning (really afternoon after we went to the vets and everything). Monday morning, we both went to work like normal. Bear got to experience being left alone for the first time in his crate/x-pen combo kit.
> 
> I think those first few weeks, really depends on the puppy.* I know when Sweet Girl got her Shala, it was a VERY different experience than she had previously.* I know when our foster came, it was so hard, I was tempted to throw my hands up and say I couldn't do this. But Bear was a breeze, for us. Yes, there were accidents. Yes, there was biting and blood was drawn. Yes, there was whining, and crying. But we rolled with it, and Bear rolled with us, and we all adjusted.


 I was thinking about that as I read this post!  She was definitely different from Tesia - but in a way, I'm glad we went through it. It sounds cheesy, but I think we're stronger for it. Tesia never cried - over anything. Shala cried and howled and threatened to diiiiiie every time I left her side. So we figured out it was better for her not to confine, but to let her follow me around. Tesia just always trusted I would come back; with Shala, I needed to help build that trust. Tesia was fine being crated from day one, with Shala, I needed to help her develop a comfort with crates. Looking back, I almost can't remember those first few weeks. But I know it was all worth it.


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## Huddle (Dec 26, 2013)

7 weeks! My goodness. I know this happens, but it is my opinion that it shouldn't. I even question pups leaving their litter at 8 weeks sometimes. One weeks is a HUGE difference in puppies. When you have a puppy, it is so important to try and put yourself in their situation. You would be scared, too. I agree it at least takes one week for a puppy to adjust... For Huddle it took three weeks. I didn't sleep. Just like a newborn baby I tried to sleep when he did (which usually wasn't realistic). I will always stand by my belief that a puppy is more work than a baby. As far as potty training, puppies have the tiniest bladders! You would be surprised at how little they can carry. we still have random accidents once in a while at 14 weeks. It isn't Huddle's fault.... It is mine because I have taken my eyes off of him for two seconds. I agree that a cat would be a better fit. An adult dog often has been surrendered because it has vices that the previous owner wasn't fond of.... This might include accidents in the house. Vices can be harder to break in an adult dog, depending. If I am to be honest, I don't feel you will be prepared for that challenge, either.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

Apuppy,is much like bringing home a baby, it takes a lot of time,work, training, I think this puppy,or any puppy ,is not for you.


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## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

To some people, the idea of a puppy sounds great. Who doesn't love a fluffy little pup? I think the OP truly didn't understand that a puppy is a huge commitment. When you get a puppy, you don't have the ability to do all the same things you once did. You have to plan your schedule around the puppy. You realize that carpet, shoes, furniture, etc may be damaged. 

Getting a puppy isn't just buying something and expecting it won't inconvenience you. Most of us know what to expect from getting a puppy. Some here may have been overwhelmed when they first got theirs, but in the end it is completely worth the loss of sleep and shoes (seriously I've lost far too many of them), it's worth the damage to carpet and furniture. It's worth the thousands of dollars you'll spend over the lifetime of that dog. 

To sum it up, getting a puppy very much changes your life, but that's a good thing.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

DanaRuns said:


> It's about expectations. A 7-week old puppy is an infant. You can't expect much more from that puppy than you can expect from a human infant.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No, I don't think most people are afforded that opportunity. When I adopt I try to take a week off. For Tayla we got her on a Wednesday and I was off the rest of that week and was off the next week for spring break so I was fortunate. Lily was 4.5 when we got her and again I was blessed because we got her on the Saturday before my Christmas vacation so I had 2 weeks off, but typically most people are lucky if they can take a few days to maybe a week off.


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## JessCDoyle (May 21, 2013)

Everything that I believe has already been stated here by other posters.. the fact that the pup was taken away at 7 weeks, that some people need to learn what is realistic with their expectations of a puppy and what they need to do for the pup's needs vs. their own and taking time off to help them adjust to their new environment

I do think that when it comes to having a dog, living in an apartment and specifically renting where accidents can damage property that is not your own will come with many challenges that need to be fully understood as well before deciding on getting any type of pet. 3am potty trips are much harder in apartments, and the noise as well may be another issue with your neighbours... just as a general thing, not necessarily directed to the OP

So glossing over those points, I would like to highlight the one very good piece of information that was the OPs main point for posting this. 
*Just wanted to post this so plp who are getting puppies should always make sure the breeder is willing to take puppy back if there is ANY issue. *
Get your puppy from a reputable breeder. Have open communication with them. Know that any reputable breeder will in most cases gladly take the pup back and rehome them because they love their dogs. Everything should be outlined clearly with your agreement when you purchase the pup, and if not then start looking elsewhere.


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

48 hours??? This is the only chance he got with you? I agree you were probably not ready for a puppy, especially one so young and a golden retriever too. All puppies need a lot of time and care - at least a few weeks- after they come to their new home and family. Don't forget that they are very young, just babies, and it is the first time for them to be separated from their mother and siblings and they have to get accustomed to new people, new surroundings, new smells, new voices, new house rules. Golden Retrievers are especially clingy too, as they grow up they prefer to be with their humans than with other dogs. They get very attached - they are often called "Velcro dogs"- but are highly trainable and extremely rewarding as dogs. I agree with everybody else that your puppy's behavior was absolutely normal for 7 weeks and for the first 48 hours in its new home. Thank God the breeder agreed to take it back and will hopefully find a nice and loving home for it


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## Wenderwoman (Jan 7, 2013)

Maybe the breeder only gave them a short time to return the puppy. I think they made the best decision for themselves and the puppy. It's easy to judge but I realize I am not in their circumstances to really know anything. I think giving up a puppy would be harder for me than to keep one that I knew I wouldn't care for or have time to care for in the way it needed.


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## ShadowGolden (Sep 4, 2012)

Brave said:


> To be fair - most people don't take time off to let their puppy adjust to their new life. I know we didn't. Bear came home at 9 weeks old on a Saturday morning (really afternoon after we went to the vets and everything). Monday morning, we both went to work like normal. Bear got to experience being left alone for the first time in his crate/x-pen combo kit.


I took a week of "pupernity" leave at work.  (Otherwise known as a week of my vacation days.) But we planned that out way in advance because we knew the day Shadow was coming home. 

After that - we got Shadow on a routine between my job (the usual 8:30-5) and the significant other's job (journalist - typically leaving around 10ish and home after me when Shadow was a puppy) - and having a dog walker come twice a day for potty breaks and a little snuggles. 

Shadow adjusted pretty quickly, but man - that first week was exhausting -in a good way. Felt like new parents.


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## Goldenhopeful (Dec 21, 2013)

The first night I had Tucker home I had this feeling of panic that maybe I won't be able to handle the puppy- he was in his x-pen howling and freaking out, my son was crying for my attention since I was gone all day- then Tucker pooped in his x-pen and all the while my husband was cranky after a very long hard weekend at work. I knew that I'd have this moment. I prepared and researched and I knew how much work the puppy would be- how disrupted our lives would be... And the next day I woke up started our routine and I've never looked back- because I made a promise to Tucker... That I would never give up on him- he didn't choose to live with me... I did! So it's my responsibility to make sure he is happy, loved and well cared for. And like someone told me before I had my son- you can prepare and do as much reading up and studying as you want but you really won't be ready until your son is in your arms. We now have a happy healthy little rolly Poly puppy that I love with ALL my heart. He is so stinking cute. You get out what you put in. And it's really hard work. 

I think if you had stuck it out a little longer you would have been OK. But maybe it's better for the puppy. I hope he found a loving home. And please don't get another puppy- ever. Nothing was wrong with that puppy he was just being a baby and it was completely normal behavior.


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## BJoy (Aug 22, 2011)

They have beautiful stuffed puppy toys in toys'r'us. Some of them can bark too if batteries are fresh  You might try those first, since they are listening right away when you take them from the box.

All the Best to you!


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Glad you made the right decision and an older house broken dog sounds like the right dog for you some day. Puppies are a lot of work.. you need to be prepared. Like taking a two week vacation from work to train him. He sounds like he is a normal puppy.


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## T-Joy (Aug 22, 2011)

I am so happy for a pup! You saved his life! Thank you!

Your pup sounds completely normal for 7 -8-9 ...even more,weeks old pup. It's a baby, you can not expect something else. First two weeks I didn't even sleep while Joy and Charlie were babies. At that time I had children and my work. But I did it by huge love that I have for dogs. 

I hope this lesson will serve you. As the rescues are full of abandoned animals, please don't take a dog or a cat because they have their own characters and demand a lot of attention which might surprise you badly once you get them. 
You must really LOVE animals and not just like a presence or toy for children in order to live with them many, many years. 
Think again please, maybe You are just NOT for animals. 

Thank you!


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## Artnlibsmom (May 8, 2013)

Too bad that the expectations were too high.....good choice for everyone involved including the puppy to take the puppy back to the breeder. Kudos to the breeder and lets imagine the joy of the person that will now get the opportunity to bring this baby into their lives FOREVER.


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## jeffro01 (Feb 3, 2010)

God forbid the OP ever has kids... Okay I'll stop there since I tend to be a bit carried away at times...

48 hours... 48 whole hours and that was it... Goodness...

I will at least say that they did the right thing and returned the puppy so the breeder can find a more suitable and loving home.

Jeff


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

At this point, it feels like people are piling on the OP about the 48 hours. I'm sure they get the general opinion by now.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm sorry it didn't work out with your puppy.

I give you credit for making a decision that was in the best interest of the pup.


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## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

It's better that it was 48 hours for them to figure out that they couldn't deal with a puppy. It means that this little guy didn't get too bonded with them and his return won't be as hard for him. Also, he is still very young and should easily be placed in a new home where he can bond with a family. 

Should the OP get another puppy? Probably not. Did they do the right thing when they saw that it wasn't what they hoped for? Probably.

Let's hope for the best for this little guy and his forever home down the line.


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## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

I second pretty much all the responses in this thread. You thought you were ready, but as you found out unfortunately, things don't always go to plan and owning a puppy does get overwhelming, especially if you're trying to work one into your normal routine. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but if you choose to have a furry friend in the future, an older dog may be more fitting to your lifestyle right now. I'm glad to hear your friend took the puppy back and that you were able to make a quick decision that a puppy wasn't for you right now.


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## Romeo1 (Apr 19, 2008)

mylissyk said:


> I think you did the right thing, you were not prepared for a puppy. Everything you describe is a totally normal puppy for just 2 days, having been taken away from his littermates, put in a totally alien environment with total strangers he does not know, and he was afraid and didn't know what was expected of him. Every single puppy will start off this way, afraid, crying, lost, and it is completely up to his new family to be patient, love him, comfort him, and keep trying with him until he starts to learn what is expected from him.
> 
> So in the future, if you do think about getting a dog again, please keep this in mind. Every puppy will go through this same adjustment, some will takes weeks to settle and get comfortable in their new home. The suggestion of an adult dog instead of a puppy is a very good one.


Exactly.......!


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## tdm1990 (Jan 8, 2013)

Puppies need lots of love and attention. They rely on you to guide them and be patient with them. You have to keep in mind that he is also getting used to a new environment without his litter mates or mother. This would have been one of many obstacles to owning a Golden, but I assure you, it's totally worth it. I think he's better off wherever he is now. I would opt for an older, more mature dog, if you decide to bring another animal into your home. Remember to give them a chance.


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## Lise123 (Jan 1, 2014)

I met a four-month-old dog a few weeks ago and chatted briefly with the owner about him. She got him at 10 weeks, since he had been returned to the breeder at nine weeks because he was "too aggressive" and the original owner couldn't handle him. He was obviously just being a puppy, but the life he landed in with his second family was absolutely wonderful -- spending his days in an art studio getting loved by family and strangers alike, and nights with the family. He was the nicest and calmest four-month-old puppy I've ever met, and I bet he had a much better life than he would have if the original family -- stressed, unprepared, dealing with work and small children -- had decided to stick it out and begrudgingly kept him.

I hope the OP's puppy ends up with a second family who dotes on him, too, and I'm also grateful, as a first-time puppy-owner-to-be, for the reminder that it's not all sunshine and rainbows. As much as I've talked to people and read this forum, you still see a lot of cute pictures and hear cute stories and think, "Wow! This sounds like so much fun!" It helped temper my expectations again -- and reminded me how much work babies can be. I'm guessing that no matter how much you try to prepare, you don't realize how hard it will be until you're home with the puppy.


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## Pixie (Jun 13, 2012)

I have Pixie for 2 years now, and I hav neve been as sleep deprived as the first month with her.... ah! And never lost weight so fast!

So I guess it is part of having puppy... that and the shark attacks!


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

I humbly ask this thread be closed for the greater good.. The piling on and banter is enough for me.

I have read most but not all responses. Gave up being drawn in like a moth to flame a long time ago.

Some threads delve into things where people can learn many things, this is not one IMO

I have zero problems with people expression of opinion and very open minded, but come on.

There is a point when enough has been said, yes?

Let's move along folks.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I'm so sorry you had to make such a hard decision. In light of the circumstances you were dealing with, it looks as though you made the right decision. I hope you both can get a house before too long and get a puppy that might better fit your situation when you are ready. You did the right thing this time. Good luck gettng a pup in the future.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I have to chuckle that a thread like this...we got a pup, we didn't like it, we gave it back...has gone on for 6 pages with nothing further from the OP. Sure doesn't take much to get it going, does it! :bowl:



GoldenCamper said:


> I humbly ask this thread be closed for the greater good.. The piling on and banter is enough for me.
> 
> I have read most but not all responses. Gave up being drawn in like a moth to flame a long time ago.
> 
> ...


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Penny's Mom said:


> I have to chuckle that a thread like this...we got a pup, we didn't like it, we gave it back...has gone on for 6 pages with nothing further from the OP. * Sure doesn't take much to get it going, does it!* :bowl:


Nope. Some conversations are useful when certain threads come about, but this had gone on a bit eh? What purpose any continuation of this
thread has me wonder.


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## mygoldengirl (Jan 10, 2014)

Thank you for doing the right thing for you and the puppy.


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## Goldenhopeful (Dec 21, 2013)

Let me give you some advice about what was going on with your puppy- so maybe if you do decide to get a puppy again you will understand that it is OK and learn how to deal with these problems. 

1.) He hated being confined. 

_All puppies don't like to be confined when you first bring them home, they will howl, bark, whine, cry, scream etc... sometimes they even poop or pee because they get so upset by being put in a crate. This is absolutely normal and 99% of puppies do this when you first put them in their crate. Here is the thing- you just have to deal with it. They will eventually stop crying you just have to wait it out. And every time you went back after two mins of crying and let him out- he just learned that by crying and carrying on gets him what he wants. So you taught him that crying and carrying on is how he can get out of the crate. What you needed to do is to wait until he calmed down and is completely quiet. THEN you go and give him praise and a treat and let him out. It works very quickly. Also look up "crate games" and you can do those exercises so that the puppy will learn to love his crate. _

2.) He hates outside and doesn't go potty outside.
_Again you need to put into play the crate. When you take him outside take him on a leash and walk around and use a command word once he goes stand there quietly and give him a treat and lots of praise- sometimes when a puppy is that young he might be looking for more praise than treats. If he doesn't go right away take him back inside and put him in his crate and try again in 10 mins. It takes a lot of time and effort but it works._

Puppies are very much like children. You need to have patience and understand that you will lose sleep and maybe even weight. I just wanted to give you this advice because I don't think anyone here actually addressed the issues you were having- so that if you do ever get a puppy again that you will know that this is absolutely normal behavior. Also please don't hesitate to call your breeder, or come to a place like this forum to ask questions. People are very willing to help out. I'm sorry it didn't work out and you did the right thing... but just know it wasn't the puppy's fault- it was your fault.


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## robinrd (Oct 30, 2012)

Have you ever had a puppy before? This was all normal puppy behavior and at first it is normal to get up in the night with your puppy. Thank goodness you took him back so he could find a good home.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I for one am disappointed at the lack of grace at the OP. He was probably inexperienced and naïve. He learned a valuable lesson, or at least I hope he has. Hopefully, now he will use better judgment in the future. I commend the posters who were more supportive.


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## thorbreafortuna (Jun 9, 2013)

I think Goldenhopeful hit the nail right on the head. Also, on the original post I think the OP said they were taking their puppy out every hour. This is way too long. At 7 weeks, at least every half hour, or even 20 minutes unless pup is asleep! PLUS after playing, once they wake. They can hold longer in the crate provided it is just the right size. Really, the fact that you made this decision in only 2 days rather than seeking help probably means what everyone has said so far. This puppy wasn't for you, and you weren't the right family for this puppy.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

Hey just imagine it took me two years to potty train my daughter and my son is three and still not potty trained. People expect puppies to be trained in a week lol or even days. 


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

Shellbug said:


> Hey just imagine it took me two years to potty train my daughter and my son is three and still not potty trained.


Try crating him when you're gone, and taking him out right after eating.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

Am I the only one wondering if the original post for real?  Why would someone join a forum after they returned the puppy


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

Willow52 said:


> Am I the only one wondering if the original post for real?  Why would someone join a forum after they returned the puppy


Their first post was about how excited they were to get their puppy SOON. And now they wanted to let anyone who was wondering what happened, that they returned the puppy and why. I'm pretty sure, some of the responses received to their thread, has run them off. 

Which is too bad. I hope they come back.


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

Was any of it really mean? I remember reading the first few pages thinking how helpful and restrained everyone was.


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## Barkr (Dec 23, 2011)

DanaRuns said:


> Was any of it really mean? I remember reading the first few pages thinking how helpful and restrained everyone was.


Yeah, somewhere along the line it deteriorated and became something less than restrained.:no:


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I had a friend that did the same exact thing. He planned for this puppy before it was born. Did all the research. Constantly talked about it and asked all the right questions. Took the week off from work to get to know the puppy. We were all excited for him. He came back from vacation and told us they returned the puppy after 6 hours because they did not realize how much work he was. We were shocked, but at least they did the right thing.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

DanaRuns said:


> Try crating him when you're gone, and taking him out right after eating.


Lol great idea. Will this work lol









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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

The hardest pup I had to house train was the youngest. Attained at 7.5 weeks. My Samantha bred here is one of the most quiet adult dogs I have had... She cried in her crate at 5 AM from 8 weeks until 14 weeks... Persistent... However, she stopped and became great in the crate. I am glad you realized the pup was too much for you. As others have said, maybe an older dog?


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## oakleysmommy (Feb 20, 2011)

First day in a new environment new surroundings. This is what usually happens with a puppy. I would stay dog free. But glad the breeder took him back. 


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

You can't fault someone for being unprepared for the reality of a puppy. It's one thing to study it, it's an entirely different thing to experience it.


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## Heather C. (Sep 25, 2013)

Lol, Shellbug, I have thought many times if I could crate my toddler and bring m&m's everywhere we go and shell them out freely to get her to be good, she might be as well-trained as my dog.

I agree you can't really fault a person for not realizing how much work a puppy is even after a lot of research. It looks wonderful, but in reality its really hard. I met many people in my first new mothers' group way back when my first (human) child was a newborn who said almost the same thing about new motherhood! From outside it looks like constant cuddles and cooing and itty bitty feet, misty-eyed photos of newborns sleeping on matching Pottery Barn nursery bedding, trendy, cool expensive strollers and bags, and adorable outfits. In reality its no sleep at all for what seems like forever, sore nipples, sour milk puke, crying, and taking 30 minutes to get your newborn into an adorable outfit that they immediately poop all over, and then they also poop all over their back, and hair, and feet...getting a puppy is similar. But most people immediately love their child enough to make them not want to return it. A puppy is a little different, there isn't a biological bond--and a lot easier to give away!

Ok I'm half kidding, but there are similarities. Its a shock to have something that small and helpless totally dependent on you. I actually think having raised two puppies prepared me a little for what it felt like to have a newborn, and with the 3rd puppy, hey, it seems like a breeze compared to how my 3 human newborns were. Its all about perspective and growing up. If the OP wasn't ready, she wasn't ready, and that puppy will end up in a great home I bet. 

Heather


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## golfgal (Dec 31, 2013)

thank you shellbug and heather c for the laugh. sadly I lived overseas where people think nothing of putting their 3-4 year child out as they've moved on to new relationships. until I saw all the orphanages I did not realize people did that. glad that's not something we see much of in north america, however I guess that's where all the dogs in the shelters and spca's end up.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

Heather C. said:


> Lol, Shellbug, I have thought many times if I could crate my toddler and bring m&m's everywhere we go and shell them out freely to get her to be good, she might be as well-trained as my dog.
> 
> I agree you can't really fault a person for not realizing how much work a puppy is even after a lot of research. It looks wonderful, but in reality its really hard. I met many people in my first new mothers' group way back when my first (human) child was a newborn who said almost the same thing about new motherhood! From outside it looks like constant cuddles and cooing and itty bitty feet, misty-eyed photos of newborns sleeping on matching Pottery Barn nursery bedding, trendy, cool expensive strollers and bags, and adorable outfits. In reality its no sleep at all for what seems like forever, sore nipples, sour milk puke, crying, and taking 30 minutes to get your newborn into an adorable outfit that they immediately poop all over, and then they also poop all over their back, and hair, and feet...getting a puppy is similar. But most people immediately love their child enough to make them not want to return it. A puppy is a little different, there isn't a biological bond--and a lot easier to give away!
> 
> ...


I totally agree. It's even true that many mothers don't bond with their babies at first. It baffled me but I am in several mom groups with moms I KNOW love their children with every fiber. However, at first they didn't feel connected. Overwhelmed and depressed. It's actually apparently pretty common. So take a pup who you didn't give birth to and have that overwhelming experience. It's a recipe for disaster. It's depressing and overwhelming for many people. We see others with awesome dogs who are great off leash, do loads of tricks and snuggle in bed at night. That's how we see the experience in our minds. In reality though they are given a puppy who is missing momma and siblings. Who cries at night and pees and poops all over the floor. It's not the blissful dream. It takes hard work and loads of dedication to get the dog we dream of. For me I am lucky as I bonded with my children immediately. I also did with my Thor. I swear for me and my husband it's like we had another baby lol. We lay around talking about how cute he is and omg he's she smartest dog we have EVER seen. Just now I was waking to bed and pointed at Thor's toy on the floor, "look honey it's Thor's favorite toy.. OMG he's so sweet isn't he". That started a conversation on how great he is lol. I get how people can just not be ready for the work. Thor is good and he is hard work. I am just thankful people like the OP took the pup to the breeder and not dumped it off somewhere else. That was responsible. It's incomprehensible to some of us, but it was done the right way. The pup will find a forever home with who is meant to be. 
I also agree about the baby thing lol. I swear if I read one more time "why isn't my 3 week old sleeping through the night" one more time, I may pull my hair out. People think babies and puppies come trained. Lol. No it's as you described ??


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

golfgal said:


> thank you shellbug and heather c for the laugh. sadly I lived overseas where people think nothing of putting their 3-4 year child out as they've moved on to new relationships. until I saw all the orphanages I did not realize people did that. glad that's not something we see much of in north america, however I guess that's where all the dogs in the shelters and spca's end up.


That's horrible 


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## steviesmom (Jan 6, 2014)

It's breaks my heart that that pup wasnt even given the chance to settle in.
Hopefully they have gone to a great home with owners who understand the breed and the care and nurturing involved in raising a puppy.


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## g0kaur02 (Jan 30, 2014)

Thanks everyone for your wonderful suggestions. I posted this tread and then didn't have the heart to read the responses because I knew what everyone was going to say. No one knows when I am going through. I keep seeing the little puppy's face everywhere and I feel like I should have tried harder. I did take 5 days off from work. I even asked family to help out. I am not the type of person to give up easily. LIke I said before, if I had to leave him at a shelter I would have NEVER given up him. I did try to let him cry it out by leaving him in crate multiple times. Once I left him for 45 mintues and he still cried very very loudly and I felt like he was going to have anxiety attack. I reallly loved this puppy and I couldn't see him like this. The only choice I had was to let him run around the whole apartment and do whatever he wants and try to keep training him. However, I noticed his behavior changed the second day. The first day he was really excited and we played a lot. The second day he didn't really want to play and was looking very sad. We bought the best food, toys, for him because we really wanted to give him a lot of love and everyting he deserved. I was afraid I was going to ruin him for life by forcing him to be confined and by forcing him to be by himself when we are at work. At the end, we did what was best for the puppy and us. He deserved a better environment. If I had tried to keep him and forced him to live in the environment I could provide, I think it would have been selfish. He loved to explore and loved kids and plp, I couldn't make him change his personality because of me. The breeder said there was another puppy who liked being by himself and was not as active. He said that puppy would have been a better fit for us. 

I could have kept him for another month but I was afraid he won't find a good home if he's older. By returning him at 7 weeks, we gave him a change to find a really good home. The breader had many plp call for this puppy and he said he'll pick a family which already had an older golden and also have a big yard and kids. This is the type of family this puppy deserved, not ours. 

I will probably never forget him and will always miss him. I did what I thought was best for us and him.


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## Articuno (Oct 19, 2013)

Well done for having the guts to come back and post that, I believe you did the complete right thing here and I don't think anyone should be making you feel bad for it!! It really bothers me how many people made judgemental remarks.


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

I too think you did exactly what you should have done under your circumstances. This was best for you and the puppy. I hesitate to go further, but I really believe that many people do not research well enough before getting a pet or even before having kids. This may not have been your case, I am not trying to be judgemental of your situation, I am generalizing based on my own l life observations. 

Regardless of your situation, you ended up making the correct decision and the pupply has a chance for a normal life....good luck


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

Well done! I really admire you for doing what you thought was best for the puppy and for having the guts to admit that you could not cope with it. I wish you the best of luck next time, if you ever decide to take another dog.


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## LIDDLEMAR (Aug 3, 2013)

All that in 48 hours! Doesn't seem like you really gave it a try 


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## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

No one here can really blame you, but I think it was very brave of you to come back and respond. 

None of us here know your current living situation, stresses, or any other events that are going on that made your decision, and you don't have to explain it to us imo. The point is, you were able to quickly realize that a puppy for you right now is not the right choice, and that I'm sure was one of the hardest things you had to admit to yourself in life. Nobody likes to give up, but to come to that realization and think of the puppy's well-being over your own wishes, that takes alot. So many stories I've heard of people hanging onto dogs they can't handle and the dog ends up being raised without the necessary attention/training and then gets given up, so I'm glad you were able to realize it so quickly. This gives that little puppy the best chance at a quality life that you unfortunately are not able to provide at this time.

You'll draw some negative responses from people, but that's to be expected. However, to come back and explain yourself a bit, that is admirable. You've admitted and come to terms with your choice in giving the puppy back, I don't think you need to be criticized about it any further. Some may see you as a "quitter", but if being labeled that means giving that dog the best quality of life, then I think the "big picture" is being missed here. Maybe in the future your schedule will allow you to get a puppy or an older dog, but I can already tell that if that day comes that puppy or dog will be as lucky as the rest of the dogs on this board, in the home of kind and loving people who want to give their dog the best quality of life.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

^^^ here here!!!

I want you to know that I am proud of you. It may not mean anything, coming from a stranger on the Internet. But it took a lot of courage to do what you did, and to speak openly about it. And for that I admire you. 


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