# protective of me



## Lexie's Mom (Dec 14, 2005)

any suggestions on why my 5 yr old golden is protective of me. I got her at 6 weeks of age and she has always been protective of me. My youngest son is 6 and I always thought she was "nudging" him to protect him for some reason. Now I realize she was doing it because she doesn't want people close to me.


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

It might be helpful to know some more information. Would you say jealous or protective? Nudging your son away sounds like a jealous thing to me, but I wasn't sure if there was more too it then that. How does your dog relate with the other family members? Has your dog shown any aggression to anybody? 

Having a six year old, I don't blame a dog for not having a close relationship with one. My children are learning doggie social skills...how to play, act and be sensitive to our puppy. I'm amazed at what doesn't seem to come naturally.

Anyway if you could expand, that might be helpful.


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## Lexie's Mom (Dec 14, 2005)

Well, i feel she's is being protective. I have remarried within this year and my husband moves around quickly at times and startles her. She has bit him once (the first time she's EVER bit anyone). She also has growled at him while i'm sleeping. My other son who is 10 has always been very leary of dogs. He loves her and pets her but one time he was petting her she was wagging her tail and then she snapped at him really quick for no apparent reason. I LOVE my girl and I want her to be better behaved. We start some training after the first of the year. I just wonder why she is the way she is. :doh:


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## FranH (May 8, 2005)

We have 2 goldens. The youngest, Holly(age 3), is very protective of me. She follows me around and doesn't want to leave my side. I sometimes go to bed before my husband. That's where the trouble starts. She started jumping in bed with me and snuggling. Well my husband came to bed one night and told her to "get down". She showed her teeth and growled. Not good. We have decided to not let her on the bed. It seems to have worked with the territorial aspect of "my" bed. She is a real sweetheart and I don't want her to be too protective me. I had an unfortunate incident a few years ago that forever changed my life(attacked and almost killed by a pack of wild dogs on a beach in the Bahamas) and any signs of dog aggression is not good for my well being.


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## Lexie's Mom (Dec 14, 2005)

oh my goodness. 

Lexie also goes to bed to snuggle with me. When he comes to bed, she gets down because he doesn't want her in bed either. hmmmm.......maybe this is something to think about. I know he's new in her life and now she has to share me but she has always been protective of me even to my children. I'm not sure what to do. I never leave her alone with the kids. I wouldn't even if she hadn't showed this aggression. I'm hoping the trainer will help me with this. This is very stressful for me because now my husband hates her and I ADORE her. The only solution for this is to get her some training. I would not ever find her a new home. That isn't an option. She's my baby girl!!!


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

Lexie's Mom said:


> I have remarried within this year and my husband moves around quickly at times and startles her. She has bit him once (the first time she's EVER bit anyone). She also has growled at him while i'm sleeping. :doh:


It makes sense to me that she is understandably stressed over the turn of events. Your husband is more or less a stranger in her living space. 
Others on this board have more experience then me regarding doggie behavior, but I can tell you what I might try.
1)You mentioned training that will begin soon...and that sounds like an excellent idea!!!! Especially if your husband is involved.
2)I would imagine your husband should spend good quality one on one time with her, playing, walking...building his own personal relationship with her.
3)Make sure that all acts of aggression are not tolerated. And I think you need to be the front lead on that seeing as how you are the master and your husband is some intruder.
4)One way I've managed to build some sort of positive relationship between my puppy and my children is to make sure they work with Lucky on sit, stay, down commands with lots of yummy treats. When they play I make sure they command Lucky to sit before they start throwing the ball or playing tug a war. That way they are seen as the "master" and are shown respect.
I also on occasion let them feed Lucky treats and kibble just for the heck of it, so that Lucky starts getting good feelings from them. Otherwise its the "tail-pulling" incident that might be the sticking point in his mind. Not to say your 6 year old ever pulled Lexie's tail.  But Lexie might need more "Goodness, kids are fun and have tasty stuff" experience.
Well those are my thoughts. Congratulations on your marriage!!!!


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

My Hunter was the most gentle of all dogs. he let the girls just run all over him. He would share his food, would give up toys to them. etc. They would torment him (Buck never did) and he just took it. When we adopted Honey, he adopted her. She had the heartworm treatment a month after we got her and he would lay by the crate and keep her compnay.

I could walk him and dogs run up the fence snarling and barking and he would not even look their direction. BUT when he was in ICU he growled at a dog for the first time i ever heard. He was so sick and was hooked up to IV and I was sitting just outside the large cage there in the ICU when one of the techs brought her HUGE lab in. He is a donor dog and they were going to give Hunter a transfusion. When that dog got near me, Hunter bristled and growled. Then said dogs were back there all the time and Hunter never paid attention to them, but this time the dog that Hunter didn't know go near me.

Hunter and i had a very special bond that everyone commented on. He never minded our other dogs or any person near me, but just didn't want that strange dog near me. this was only 3 days before he died, and he was so sick I would not have thought he would have paid any attention.


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## mojosmum (May 20, 2005)

Awww Sandra - breaks my heart every time poor Hunter is mentioned. RIP sweet angel!

Lexi's Mom - sounds like Lucky's Mom gave you good advise. You have to remember that nothing in life is free for the dogs so ....when Lexi wants a pat make her sit or down. NEVER allow her on the furniture (especially the bed). This is a priviledge and she's abused it. You have to set her straight, in a loving but firm way, who the boss (or ALPHA) is in the family.


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## Lexie's Mom (Dec 14, 2005)

Thank you guys so much for your input. If any more ideas come to you, please let me know.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

Thank you Mojosmum. I will never stop missing that most gentle sweet boy with his big very slobbery kisses. He was 79 pounds of pure love.


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

I have a very different idea of what's going on here...
does a pack member 'protect' the leader when another dog approaches? or does he defer to the pack leader? It sounds to me like there is a leadership issue at your house, and your dog feels its her responsibility to decide who joins the group and who doesn't and who has access to who, what and when... this is NOT good. You need to demote Lexie to omega status soon before someone does get hurt. Try "Nothing In Life Is Free"... just do a Google on those terms.


FranH said:


> ...I had an unfortunate incident a few years ago that forever changed my life(attacked and almost killed by a pack of wild dogs on a beach in the Bahamas) and any signs of dog aggression is not good for my well being.


FranH, this statement really caught me when I first read it but its taken 'til now for me to respond. My mom was born and raised in China (Beijing) where dogs often ran in packs. As a child she too was attack by a pack of the roaming dogs and was almost killed... she lived her whole life with the facial scars from that vicious attack. And because of that incident, she lived her whole life with an unnatural fear of dogs. I feel for you but you must 'shake off' this fear and take control over your young Golden, Holly... because when I hear of a dog (any dog) that gets aggressive without any provocation in the presence of their owner, it tells me this dog does NOT view the owner as the pack leader... this can only lead to greater problems down the road.


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## MegB (Jul 19, 2005)

mojosmum said:


> NEVER allow her on the furniture (especially the bed). This is a priviledge and she's abused it. You have to set her straight, in a loving but firm way, who the boss (or ALPHA) is in the family.


I have to ask, why not allow her on the furniture? I am only asking because Woody has just started to get onto the couch beside me (up until now, his bad leg wasn't strong enough for this). He has never slept in our bed, and I don't plan for him to, but I enjoyed having him on the couch with his head in my lap. Just wondering what the reason might be, so that if needed, I can stop a bad habit before it starts.


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## Dilligas (Jun 17, 2005)

MegB said:


> I have to ask, why not allow her on the furniture? I am only asking because Woody has just started to get onto the couch beside me (up until now, his bad leg wasn't strong enough for this). He has never slept in our bed, and I don't plan for him to, but I enjoyed having him on the couch with his head in my lap. Just wondering what the reason might be, so that if needed, I can stop a bad habit before it starts.


I asked the same question of my vet. The answer I got was that high places are indicators of leadership and alpha-status -- like eating first or doing first through doorways. I was told that it's okay to have them on furniture, but only if it's a resource that you control. Shadow sleeps with me on the bed, but before he can come up he has to sit and I have to say "come up" -- otherwise he gets a "NO, OFF!" and a gentle nudge off the bed. And he's never allowed on when it's not bedtime.

I don't have the heart to keep him off the couch though -- it's his favorite spot!

If you turn it into a positive thing, by allowing them on furniture but controlling access to it as well, then getting on the furniture becomes another reward you can use for good behavior, another way to implement "nothing is free", and another resource you control, helping you hold alpha-status.


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