# Walking to Rainbow Bridge, but unsure of the path



## 1oldparson

Karen, I understand what you're saying. I had to make the same decision for our old girl. Come February, it will be 2 years. You have given your pup a rich, rewarding life full of love and Merry returned it with love and devotion. Then comes the time we all dread, when we must give them our last gift and set them free from suffering. I know it's hard. I'm praying for you. May God bless and comfort you.


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## AlanK

Karen
Many Golden lovers here feel your pain. I am so sorry.
May peace be with you and your decision is based on love.
Al


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## KathyL

I'm sorry you are at this point in time. I have walked your path -- 3 times I had to make the decision and it is never an easy decision. It's a very personal decision and everyone is different so you need to decide what is best and what you are most comfortable doing, and you will because you love her. I try to very realistically weigh their quality of life and when the bad days out number the good days I also take into consideration what could happen. It's just me and I am one of those people who rather be a day early than a day late. If something happened and my dog was in distress I'm not sure I would be able to forgive myself. Look in her eyes and look in your heart and you will find the strength whatever your decision is. Keeping you and Merry in my thoughts and prayers.


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## KKaren

Thank you Kathy, Al, and '1Oldparson I so appreciate your prayers.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Hi Karen, 

I'm so sorry you are faced with making this decision. I have found it to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I've been through it too many times and I don't feel it gets any easier each time. 

I had to say good bye to my bridge boy almost four years ago, he was 15.5. He was experiencing some of the same problems as Merry is having with walking and falling. He also had cancer, wasn't eating much. I knew it was time to set him free. 

Merry will let you know when it's time. I couldn't bear the thought of him not being with me anymore but knowing he was suffering and in pain was even more unbearable for me. 

Although I miss him and always will, I am at peace knowing he is no longer suffering. I believe he is whole again and enjoying life as he once did when he was young. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you as you make this decision.


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## Melakat

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Merry that you will feel at peace when the time is right.


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## Mel

Dear Karen,
I have no wise advice to give you but I know for sure that your decision, tough as it may be, is the best for your Merry. Afterall, you brought her up for 15 long golden years, how could it not be the most loving care for her. My thoughts are with you.


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## Taylorsmum

Karen, Having made this decision I understand the pain and confusion you are feeling. With Henry I knew that I loved him enough to let him go and that to keep him was selfish of me, there is never a day go by when I don't wish for another hour with him. Yes I felt guilty but less so as the months pass, but in my heart I always knew I had done the right thing at the right time. You as others here have done will feel the right time for you and Merry, it is the hardest decision but it also the decision that shows how much you love her by setting her free from her ties of pain. I wish you strength for the days that come, my thoughts are with you and your beautiful girl.


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## boomers_dawn

I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. I understand.
Something my vet said when I took my very first pet (a cat) and was unsure about the timing was: "It's ok to go on a good day".
I think she meant we don't have to wait until they're in such horrible shape. 
It doesn't alleviate the uncertainty ... but when I think what would I want for myself, some dignity and pain free would be better than no dignity and unbearable pain.
Wishing you and Merry peace.


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## GoldensGirl

Karen, the decision is never easy and the fact that you are wrestling with it is a sign of how much you love Merry.

There is a sticky in this Senior Forum that has attached the Senior Care Guidelines from the American Veterinary Hospital Association. One of the passages that is most important to me says: "The five freedoms include freedom from hunger and thirst; freedom from physical and thermal discomfort; freedom from pain, injury, and disease; freedom from fear and distress; and the freedom to express normal behavior." As I watch my Joker, knowing his time is growing short, I think about these freedoms and promise not to wait too long. I know from sad experience that he will tell me clearly when he has had enough, but I don't have to wait for him to beg.

You will draw strength and courage from your love for Merry and do what is best for her, as you always have.

Wishing you peace...


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## Capt Jack

Karen you & Mary will be in my prayers it's tough but a gift of total love on your part when the time comes.


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## Karen519

*KKaren*

KKaren

Here is the Senior Care Guidelines sticky that GoldensGirl was referring, to:

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...enter/106513-aaha-senior-care-guidelines.html

Ken and I have made this decision four times now. We always promised our dogs that we would not let them suffer. Someone once said, "it's better a week too early, than a day too late," and that's how we feel. Your baby girl, Merry, has lived a wonderful life with you and she's been truly loved! I will be praying
for you both.


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## Yaichi's Mom

Karen, my heart goes out to you and Merry at this difficult time which many of us know so well. 

You both have surrounded each other with a very special love for many years....that will endure for eternity. Surround yourself and Merry with that love now in every moment. Your heart and that love will lead you in your decision. Sending you light & peace.

Ingrid


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## amy22

Karen, I am so very sorry for the decision you have to make, that you will make out of your love for Merry. You will know in your heart when it is time. You both are in my prayers.


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## KKaren

Thank you so much for the many encouraging notes. Your stickies in the in the senior care with guidelines are what brought me to this forum. I read them and then went back and read them again. That's actually part of why I joined because the information was so good.

I want to share some pics of my girl, so that this thread, also captures her wonderful personality. Today is a bad day which, I guess ironically helps because it makes me feel we're on the right path. So we'll sit a bit on the floor and eat treats and I'll sing her those silly songs that I made up about Merry.


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## Taylorsmum

Sing loud Karen, sing your heart out, sing while you cry and hold your girl in your arms xx


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## rooroch

I know so well what you are going through. You have given your dog a fantastic long life and now are giving her release from pain and suffering, the final great thing that you can do for her.
I have done this now 14 times with my own dogs and the dogs I look after here. They are not mine on paper but live with me and I love them as though they were my own.
I am now retired but my boss has given me a post retirement contract (you can do this in France) with lower pay and free house so that I can continue looking after his 2 (nearly 3 year old) dogs. I hope this will continue for the rest of the dog's lives. The dog I had here before these 2 came, lived until 17. If this is the same for these I will be nearly 80!!!
Thinking of you during these difficult times.


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## Melakat

Thinking about you Karen. Merry is so pretty!


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## gold4me

I am so very sorry that you have to struggle with this. Your Merry is beautiful and it is evident from your post how much you love her. My husband and I, over the past 30 years, have been down this road 5 times. It is NEVER easy. We learned that the deeper you love the deeper the grief. Our last precious golden, Emmy, is still fresh in my memories even though it has been 2 years. Our breeder did tell us that she always kept this thought in her mind " It is better to let them go free a little early rather than wait a minute too long". It is a gift of freedom we give them - freedom from pain and suffering. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## MyMaggieGirl

Karen, your Merry is a beautiful girl and I love the photo of her holding the leash in her mouth. My Maggie girl used to do that too!

I know exactly how you feel, it is such a difficult decision. As others have said, it's better to go a bit early than to wait until it is too late. My Maggie was 14+ when she went to the bridge. In the days after she died, I was looking at photos from the year prior and realized how sad she looked for months. Made me realize how tough she fought to keep up a brave front for me.

It is a difficult decision that only you can make. Cry with Merry, it's ok. You have a lot of company here on the Forum.


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## GoldenMum

I know your prayers well, I had to do this twice in the last year. I remember paying they would pass in their sleep to take that decision away from me. Merry has been such a big part of your life, it is so hard to know when; but you will. And I agree, better one day too early, than one moment too late. Enjoy every precious moment you have left, and know you are doing this out of love....


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## CAROLINA MOM

Merry is beautiful, thank you sharing pictures of your sweet wonderful girl with us all.
She's beautiful.


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## elly

Im so very sorry. I do know how hard this path is to walk and totally understand. I had my Cracker for over fourteen years and she suffered with vestibular disease too as well as cancer. Last week she would have been nineteen years, what I wrote may help you a little. I was and will forever be, thankful, that we walked the final steps a day early than a day too late.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...ridge/324962-happy-birthday-my-cracker-2.html
You will both be in my thoughts and care, she's beautiful, thankyou for sharing your photos x


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## Karen519

*Karen*

Karen

Your Merry is such a beautiful girl!!


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## wjane

My heart aches for you and what you are going through. Your Merry reminds me of my Callie, who I lost last October at age 14 1/2. I then had to go through losing my Autumn this past January. Treasure each day, each moment. Saying prayers for you both.


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## mygoldengirl

Karen, I know your struggle. Last Oct I had to make the decision for my 9 year old Porsha girl. I have not gotten over it and never will. I live with it but I stll have my moments from time to time. I didn't want to let her go and I could have ended her struggle sooner than I did but it was pure selfishness on my part. I do beat myself up from time to time by thinking about the "What if". It's not good to go there but it's something that I have not been able to break. At this point I can only wish that you can over come what I can't. I wish you the best. I know this is not the encouragement that your looking for but I really need to be honest with you and myself.


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## KKaren

Dear mygoldengirl, Thank you for taking the time to write and to also share your feelings about your Porsha and how difficult it was before and still after. I don't know how I'll feel as I go forward and I appreciate your honesty. Karen


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Dear mygoldengirl, Thank you for taking the time to write and to also share your feelings about your Porsha and how difficult it was before and still after. I don't know how I'll feel as I go forward and I appreciate your honesty. Karen


That's the great thing about this forum-the support. We are all here for you.


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## KathyL

I also love that picture of her with her leash -- a subtle hint. Thinking of you and Merry and sending positive thoughts.


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## caseypooh

Karen, I just want to give you a hug. Your Merry is so beautiful, I know this is so hard, somehow you just know when they need us the most. It's been 3 years for me and I still have moments of the what ifs. I think no matter what, those what ifs are there. But at the time, we are given the strength to take loving care of our best friend and do whatever they need us to do. Hold her close and know you will be with her again.


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## daisydogmom

Thinking of you...


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## Rookie's Dad

*We understand.*

Having recently gone through what you are now experiencing, I understand how difficult it is. Some the the suggestions in your thread are suggestions that helped us when it was time for Rookie to go to the bridge: "Better a day early, than a day late", "Am I hanging on for Rookie or for me?" "Look in his eyes, they will tell you when it's time." These are some of the suggestions we got, and it helped make the right decision and we didn't look back. One other thing that helped us, we had our vet come to the house, that was special. We didn't want Rookie to end his life in a place he didn't like to go to. I hope this will help, best of luck to you both.


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## mygoldengirl

Karen519 said:


> That's the great thing about this forum-the support. We are all here for you.


I can't agree more


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## goldensmum

Karen, you are probably facing the toughest decision as a doggy mum that you will ever have to make, but sadly for us, it is only us who can make that final decision.

Sadly we have had to make it numerous times, and it never, ever gets easier, even when we know that we are doing the right thing by letting them go peacefully and painlessly to the bridge. When I had to make that decision some years ago and posting as to whether I had done the right thing and feeling so guilty someone here on the forum posted this, and I hope that it will help you as it helped me.

You're giving me a special gift,
so sorrowfully endowed
And through these last few cherished days
your courage makes me proud

But really love is knowing
when your best friend is in pain
and understanding the earthly acts
will only be in vain

So looking deep into your eyes
beyond, into your soul
I see, in you the magic that will
once more make me whole

The strength that you possess
is why I look to you today
to do this thing that must be done
for it is the only way

That strength is why I followed you
and chose you as my friend
And why I've loved you all these years
my partner ' til the end

Please understand just what this gift 
you're giving, means to me
It gives me back the strength I've lost
and all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf
for that is what friends do
And I know that what you do is right
for I believe it too

So, one last time I breathe your scent
and through your hand I feel
the courage that's within you too
now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here
Dear friend and let me run, once more
a strong and steady dog
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing
for I won't be far away
Forever here within your heart
And memory I shall stay

I'll be watching over you
your ever faithful friend
And in your memories I will run
A young dog once again


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## KKaren

Thank you, oh what a beautiful poem. We are traveling to the bridge tomorrow and I'll go as far as I can with my Merry. 

We had many wonderful pets in my family when I was growing up, but my Dad and Mom always took responsibility for the hard decisions and often I was away at school. 

Merry is my first puppy and my family here in Maryland (although I love it when I go to my father's home in NY and my Dad calls her his dog ). Gosh 15 years flies like it's a minute. Merry knows all my friends and team mates and neighbors, many of my neighbors only know Merry's name and not mine. She a magnet for people, especially kids. One of my favorite memories is a night when I was playing soccer and she was on the sidelines. I looked over from the field to make sure she was doing OK and someone's kids, two little boys, had pulled all of their things- blankets, toys, food-- over to my dog and now the three of them were on the sideline curled up together. 

I think it will be nice for her to be able to run again.


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## Taylorsmum

As I sit tomorrow in the hospital with my mum I will be thinking of you and your sweet Merry. I have a lump in my throat and my heart aches for the pain you are going through and the pain yet to come, but you are right she does deserve to run again. You are so lucky to have 15 years of memories, to have shared those years with your beautiful girl. She will live on, not only in your memory but in the memory of all those people she met. I would suspect many children will grow up and think fondly of her and get a golden for their own families. What a legacy your girl will have left. With love Jill and Taylor


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## Melakat

I have a lump in my throat too and tears in my eyes for you. This is so very hard and you were so lucky to have each other for 15 wonderful, loving years.

I will be thinking about you today and tomorrow. 

Thinking about you too dear Merry. You will be free from pain and restored to your youth again!

As we just lost our boy last month it is still so very fresh for me and all I can say is that yes it hurts like crazy to let them go but when you have loved like that - well that is so very special - they are gifts that touch our lives and the memories of that bond are so precious and those memories are forever in our hearts until we meet them once again.


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## KKaren

thank you Jill (and Taylor) and Melakat, for your kind words.
Jill.. sending strength and love to you and your Mum also xoxo


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## MyMaggieGirl

Will be thinking of you Karen and you beautiful Merry tomorrow as she makes her final journey.


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Thank you, oh what a beautiful poem. We are traveling to the bridge tomorrow and I'll go as far as I can with my Merry.
> 
> We had many wonderful pets in my family when I was growing up, but my Dad and Mom always took responsibility for the hard decisions and often I was away at school.
> 
> Merry is my first puppy and my family here in Maryland (although I love it when I go to my father's home in NY and my Dad calls her his dog ). Gosh 15 years flies like it's a minute. Merry knows all my friends and team mates and neighbors, many of my neighbors only know Merry's name and not mine. She a magnet for people, especially kids. One of my favorite memories is a night when I was playing soccer and she was on the sidelines. I looked over from the field to make sure she was doing OK and someone's kids, two little boys, had pulled all of their things- blankets, toys, food-- over to my dog and now the three of them were on the sideline curled up together.
> 
> I think it will be nice for her to be able to run again.


Karen: I will be holding you and Merry in my prayers tomorrow. She will be so happy you are with her. Hold her, kiss her, and tell her how much you love her!


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## dborgers

Our thoughts will also be with you and Merry tomorrow. It's so hard to say goodbye, but I'm one who believes that instead of goodbye it's 'see you again when I get there too', goldens being angels sent to live a life in Earthly form to teach mankind about unconditional love, for those who will see. You'll see her again one day, and it will seem like only a moment has passed when you do.


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## GoldensGirl

KKaren said:


> We are traveling to the bridge tomorrow and I'll go as far as I can with my Merry...I think it will be nice for her to be able to run again.


My heart aches so much for you. Merry is a very luck dog to be loved so dearly. It is love for her that will get you through this, accepting your own terrible pain as you release her to run free again.

Peace be with you, as it surely will be with Merry.


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## wjane

Shedding tears reading this. Godspeed to your dear Merry and peace and comfort to you.


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## CAROLINA MOM

I lit a candle for Karen and Merry.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today.

If you'd like to light a candle, here is the link for the site-

Group *GRF* Candles - Light A Candle


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## Capt Jack

Karen with tears in my eyes I send you out a prayer for you & Merry today. Godspeed Merry. Candles lit to comfort your way.


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## Karen519

*KarenK*

KarenK

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Merry today. I know she'll share her liver snacks with my Smooch and Snobear-they will love one another.


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## Sydney's Mom

Thinking of you today.


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## *Laura*

I'm so sorry this sad day has arrived. Thinking of you


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## TheZ's

Thinking of you and Merry today. Wishing you both peace.


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## Taylorsmum

Thinking of you both


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## caseypooh

Me too, Karen we are all here.


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## KKaren

Dear Everyone, I received many gifts these last two weeks as I struggled to find the best path forward for my Merry. One of those gifts was finding this forum and the kind and thoughtful and wise comments and suggestions you shared with me. My Merry left this morning. This is a copy of my FaceBook post to remember her that I also wanted to share with you.

Fifteen years ago a beautiful, silly golden retriever puppy, my Merry, came to live with me. 
She knew and I knew, like we all know, this is just our temporary home. 
Today she left. 

I sent along her blanket, favorite stuffed toy, a bag of liver snacks, and one of my bangles from a set. I figured that when she gets to her new home there's a blanket to lie down on, still with my smell, a toy to play with, treats to share, and a little bit of bling. I'm wearing the rest of the bangles and when we meet next the set will be whole again.

Merry and me, gosh we did so many things, but most of all we walked our lake. It's just a little over a mile and almost everyday for 15 years we traveled it together. We were out there this morning and watched the sun light up the trees that were red, orange, and of course golden just like her. 

Watch over me my sweetest friend.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni

You're a brave and lovely soul...and so is she.

My deepest sympathies on a night like tonight....I've been there too often. Know that you did the right thing, the hardest thing, and you have set her free.


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## Harleysmum

Thank you for sharing your beautiful girl, Merry, with us. You are in my thoughts.


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## 1oldparson

My prayers, and tears, are with you. 

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn,For they shall be comforted.


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## Melakat

That was a wonderful tribute to your beautiful Merry. 15 years together is such a long time and I love that you sent her off with some special things to keep you near her – especially the bling! Reading that brought a smile through my tears as I read about you and your beautiful Girl.

My heart goes out to you and I pray that you find some peace in the heartache that you are feeling.

How blessed are we to be given these Angels in which to share and enrich our lives! RIP Merry until you meet again!


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## Buddy's mom forever

Karen, I am so, so sorry. 

It always makes me sad when a great dog leaves this plane and moves to a higher level to be an angel now. You wont see her for a while but you will feel her presence like she has never left and you will love and miss her forever.

Job well done sweet Miss Merry, you can rest in peace now.

Sending you hugs.


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Dear Everyone, I received many gifts these last two weeks as I struggled to find the best path forward for my Merry. One of those gifts was finding this forum and the kind and thoughtful and wise comments and suggestions you shared with me. My Merry left this morning. This is a copy of my FaceBook post to remember her that I also wanted to share with you.
> 
> Fifteen years ago a beautiful, silly golden retriever puppy, my Merry, came to live with me.
> She knew and I knew, like we all know, this is just our temporary home.
> Today she left.
> 
> I sent along her blanket, favorite stuffed toy, a bag of liver snacks, and one of my bangles from a set. I figured that when she gets to her new home there's a blanket to lie down on, still with my smell, a toy to play with, treats to share, and a little bit of bling. I'm wearing the rest of the bangles and when we meet next the set will be whole again.
> 
> Merry and me, gosh we did so many things, but most of all we walked our lake. It's just a little over a mile and almost everyday for 15 years we traveled it together. We were out there this morning and watched the sun light up the trees that were red, orange, and of course golden just like her.
> 
> Watch over me my sweetest friend.


*Karen: What a BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE to your sweet Merry. I know she had a beautiful life with you and when you two meet again, the bangle set will be whole once more. I added her name to the 2014 Rainbow Bridge List.*
*http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...253434-rainbow-bridge-list-grf-2014-a-16.html*
*I said a prayer and told my Smooch, Snobear, Munchkin and Gizmo to be on the lookout for sweet Merry!*


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## CAROLINA MOM

My heart hurts for you because I have been where you are. It's a long journey for your heart to heal and find peace, but in time you will, I promise. Take the time you need to grieve and I hope you know we're all here for you. 

Your tribute to Merry so very heartwarming and beautiful. 

I believe our Bridge Babies were waiting for Merry to arrive and there was a huge celebration in her honor as she joined this very special group of Golden Angels that watch over us each day and stay forever within our hearts. 

Godspeed Merry


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## goldensmum

Merry will always be with you because she is tucked away in the safest place of all, in your heart and in your memories, and it will be the happier times of your lives spent together that will help you through this very tough time.

Mom, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colourful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, Mom, I'm everyplace!​ ​ Run free, play hard and sleep softly sweet Merry​


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## Taylorsmum

I wish I knew the words to your 'Merry' songs as I would join voices with you.


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## golfgal

Karen, my heart goes out to you. What a beautiful tribute to Merry.


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## KKaren

Thank you all for notes you wrote yesterday and today that had kind words, prayers and verse from Matthew, Candles, a beautiful poem, and for taking time to add Merry to the Rainbow Bridge List. These notes have helped me today. The day after is just so very sad. I was out at the lake this morning, it was colder than yesterday, I could see my breath and there was frost on the meadow. The trees were as brilliant as ever, and I couldn't help thinking that how can a new day just start without my Merry. 

Jill (Taylorsmum) you asked about our songs. I am definitely not a song writer, but here are two. The first you can all sing. 

Gol den Re-triev ers, Gol den Re-triev ers, Gol den Re-triev ers, Are the best Dogs
If you were at a piano you could do 
g g gg e, g g gg e, g g gg e, d d e c

Of course Merry and I could sing that all day 

There is a funny story about this second one. When Merry was a puppy and I was training her to be housebroken. To encourage her to go to the bathroom I would say "Merry" "quick like a bunny". Well smart girl that she was, she listened and before I know it, that's the command. When my walking service started, I sheepishly told them that if Merry was not paying attention and wandering about without doing her business, they should remind her by saying "quick like a bunny". Perhaps not the command they were looking for.

So the song goes, Quick like a bunny, Quick like a bunny, Merry's going to gooo, Quick like a bunny. The tune is more involved than the first so no notes...

We were silly. 

The first part of the poem is so dear to me today.

Mom, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay. 

"no worries there my pumpkin pie, you are always in my heart"


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## KathyL

KKaren, what a beautiful last day you and Merry shared, almost like the heavens were opening their doors to welcome her. You have so many lovely pictures and memories and they will help you get through. You know she had a life well-lived when you are able to smile through the tears. Take care.


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## daisydogmom

Oh, my heart is absolutely breaking for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute for your sweet girl. It sounds like you were such a wonderful dog-mommy! Merry's last day on earth sounds perfect- she must've loved it. I know you will meet again at the Bridge, where she'll be able to run around a beautiful lake, pain-free.

Rest in peace, sweet Merry. Please watch over your mommy!


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## KKaren

Taylorsmum said:


> As I sit tomorrow in the hospital with my mum ..... Jill and Taylor


Also thinking of you and your mum. Karen


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## Taylorsmum

Karen, I am now singing Gol den Ret rievers to the tune of waltzing Matilda. Hope Merry can hear me.

I love your command quick like a bunny, no wonder you made a song up around that


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## AmberSunrise

Your Merry was a lovely girl. I am so sorry for your loss, but happy you knew the love of your Merry girl.

Run softly at the Bridge Merry


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## MyMaggieGirl

I am very sorry for your loss. You and Merry had such a sweet love for each other. Run gently sweet Merry. I'm sure the others enjoyed the bag of treats.


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## Judi

I have two Senior Goldens.
When they are in pain and nothing can be done about it, I don't intend to let either of them suffer. In the mean time, they have some quality of life.
I hope this helps you.
If you want to Instant Message me on this subject, you are welcome and I will try to help you further.
Take care.


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## dborgers

Kathy,

Merry sure was a beautiful girl, and a lucky one to have a mom like you who treated her as a beloved friend and showed her the kind of life she lived. One day, far off in the future, you'll get to have a conversation with Merry (after she shows you around). Won't that be _something_?

Thank you for sharing her with us. People from around the world now know about Merry ... and what a merry girl she was while she lived among us here on Earth.


----------



## Lynn5707

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Merry. It is never easy. We too have gone through this with our Golden a few years ago, and are struggling with the same decision now. (((Hugs)))


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## Neeko13

Karen, what a wonderful tribute to your beautiful girl!!! Love the song too!!! You were a great mom, and you have 15 yrs. of wonderful memories...I feel your pain, I've been there twice now, and wouldnt have it any other way...Tears are flowing listening to your last days, and all that you sent with your sweet girl... Nitro & Nash will find her, as all the other goldens that have passed before her....take care....the hole in your heart will get smaller, but never ever heal.....


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you this morning, hope sweet Merry send you a sign today that she is happy there with her new friends.


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## KKaren

Judi said:


> I have two Senior Goldens.
> When they are in pain and nothing can be done about it, I don't intend to let either of them suffer. In the mean time, they have some quality of life.
> I hope this helps you.
> If you want to Instant Message me on this subject, you are welcome and I will try to help you further.
> Take care.


Judi, thank you, I think the difficult thing for me is that I know that Merry could still be here beside me. 

Even on the last day I had doubts, and at one point I thought about just waiting. As it would happen, an old woman was walking on the path, I don't know her (she's new on the lake path), but she has commented before on Merry. She looked at Merry and then me and said "don't make her walk so far, she has very bad arthritis." And I started to cry and said, "it's her last day on earth, I'm just letting her go where she wants to." I don't know if she didn't understand or ..., but she repeated firmly "Don't make her walk so far." Then she continued on her way.

I just looked at Merry and thought, OK, I guess that's the answer. It was true that Merry's walk was stiff and sometimes she stumbled and lost her balance. I loved her so much I always saw her as beautiful. Maybe the comments from my neighbors and strangers this last month were needed so that I could see her from another perspective.

She's gone now and I grieve deeply, but I know that I would never get it right, it would always be too early or too late. These are pictures from our last two days and although she may seem old to others, she is perfect to me.


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## KKaren

Buddy's mom forever said:


> Thinking of you this morning, hope sweet Merry send you a sign today that she is happy there with her new friends.


Thanks so much for checking on me. It's still pretty raw. I know with time it will get better. I also know she has many wonderful golden friends whose stories I have read here  

Thanks also to the others that have posted. It really helps. Karen


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## Anon-2130948gsoni

"Don't make her walk so far."

That really sums it up, doesn't it?

I know that when we look at our own pets we always look with love and love may not be blind, but it can be pretty unobservant! I never saw my old dogs the way they really were until one day when even I couldn't pretend anymore who I was keeping them here for.

It's so very hard and so very quiet for you now, I know. I'm so sorry.

Have you been through it before? In retrospect, they're all hard, but the first one is the hardest because you don't know that it will get better. Better isn't even the right word...it's more like you learn a way to get on with it and not feel the pain all of the time. 

Someone here (wish I could remember who) said something really brilliant about how when you lose your dog, a huge hole opens up in your world...and after a while, you just learn to walk around it a little better.

My thoughts are with you and sending you a hug.


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## gold4me

Merry does not look old to me. She looks beautiful and she has a sweet loving face. I am sorry so sorry for your pain.


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## Driggsy

Oh, I am crying as I read all this. I'm sorry that you lost Merry! But please don't don't don't second-guess or ask "what if..". There is no what if, you did the exact right thing for her, and at the exact right time.

Your suffering has started, but hers is over. She is bouncing around in dog heaven (which must look a lot like your lake), ready and waiting for you, some day. What's that saying? "They take a little part of our souls with them, so they can find us when we arrive".

I will tell Driggsy to watch out for her.


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## Melakat

I have been thinking about you as I am a Golden Mom that lost her Golden just over a month ago. It is so so so very hard. At 6 weeks out I had my first day yesterday with no tears. So let yourself remember, cry, cherish every single memory and know that as everyone told me it does get easier.

Don't let her walk so far. Yes, that was a good sign that the time was right. We always look back and analyze all of those last days. Oh My you were so very fortunate to have so many wonderful years together which makes the pain of losing her so hard.

Thinking of you and knowing what you are going through.


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## Taylorsmum

Thinking of you. Don't try and second guess yourself, the old lady who was new to the area must have been meant to meet you and say those words. Its lovely to see new pictures of your darling Merrys sweet face.


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## wjane

When I let my Autumn go, I went through the whole second guessing - convincing myself that I let her go too soon - I didn't want to see how she just collapsed when we got to the vets or how labored her breathing was. It's been almost a year and I'm finally seeing that she went when she was supposed to. You did the right thing for your girl but your period of grieving won't allow you to see it just yet. Sending you peace and comfort.


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## KKaren

Taylorsmum said:


> Thinking of you. Don't try and second guess yourself, the old lady who was new to the area must have been meant to meet you and say those words. Its lovely to see new pictures of your darling Merrys sweet face.


Hi Taylorsmum (Jill), I agree with you. The woman who spoke was meant to say those words on Merry's last day, like the neighbors that spoke up. I believe that they were part of a plan to move me forward. Had they not spoken up, I would still be trying. Sometimes you think that if I can just find the right drug, support apparatus, or whatever, then it will be OK, and it's hard to know when to stop because stopping feels like you are giving up on your girl.

I know this is not true, but you feel it nevertheless. 

I joined this forum only a bit ago, but honestly, since the end of August every morning I would get up and ask myself what is the right thing to do? 

Today I'm just thankful that such a wonderful, silly puppy chose me. I remember the day I got her and I had selected another puppy. I was holding her and the breeder went to get the paperwork. Before they got back I had put that girl down and Merry was in my arms. 

Thanks to so many of you for gently pointing out things that are hard to see. xoxo Karen


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## KKaren

Buddy's mom forever said:


> Thinking of you this morning, hope sweet Merry send you a sign today that she is happy there with her new friends.


Thank you Buddy's mom, She did, on my way to work yesterday this came on the radio
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-4NFvI5U9w

My chains are gone, I've been set free... That's all I needed to help me. I still cry but it's OK.


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## Karen519

*KarenK*



KKaren said:


> Judi, thank you, I think the difficult thing for me is that I know that Merry could still be here beside me.
> 
> Even on the last day I had doubts, and at one point I thought about just waiting. As it would happen, an old woman was walking on the path, I don't know her (she's new on the lake path), but she has commented before on Merry. She looked at Merry and then me and said "don't make her walk so far, she has very bad arthritis." And I started to cry and said, "it's her last day on earth, I'm just letting her go where she wants to." I don't know if she didn't understand or ..., but she repeated firmly "Don't make her walk so far." Then she continued on her way.
> 
> I just looked at Merry and thought, OK, I guess that's the answer. It was true that Merry's walk was stiff and sometimes she stumbled and lost her balance. I loved her so much I always saw her as beautiful. Maybe the comments from my neighbors and strangers this last month were needed so that I could see her from another perspective.
> 
> She's gone now and I grieve deeply, but I know that I would never get it right, it would always be too early or too late. These are pictures from our last two days and although she may seem old to others, she is perfect to me.


Karen: What beautiful pictures. I believe that God put that lady in your life. If Merry could talk from the Rainbow Bridge, she would thank you. We always second guess ourselves. As Steve Harlin always says, "A reunion is promised," and I'm taking him at his word!"


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## KKaren

Merry, miss you sweet girl. I could say that over and over again, miss you, miss you. I know you don't need to have me write words to know that I'm thinking about you, but sometimes it helps me. I hate that time keeps moving forward and it takes me away from the last time I touched you. I see your signs but I don't see you. Yesterday when I was down at the meadow, a yellow dog ran by and he reminded me of you. Chasing a ball, rolling on his back and later I saw him by the bend where you swim and he was walking with a kitty, just like you would walk with Spot. Silly girl, you didn't know you were supposed to chase kitties you just made friends. Miss you. But I guess I'm going to look at it this way, one week closer to when I'll see you again.


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Merry, miss you sweet girl. I could say that over and over again, miss you, miss you. I know you don't need to have me write words to know that I'm thinking about you, but sometimes it helps me. I hate that time keeps moving forward and it takes me away from the last time I touched you. I see your signs but I don't see you. Yesterday when I was down at the meadow, a yellow dog ran by and he reminded me of you. Chasing a ball, rolling on his back and later I saw him by the bend where you swim and he was walking with a kitty, just like you would walk with Spot. Silly girl, you didn't know you were supposed to chase kitties you just made friends. Miss you. But I guess I'm going to look at it this way, one week closer to when I'll see you again.


I found reading here and writing here, very therapeutic. It really helps to know that others share our pain and our beautiful memories and love as we do!


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## KKaren

Thank you Karen, It does help. I hope Merry, Smooch, and Snobear (and the other goldies) are enjoying the day at Rainbow Bridge and that, like here, it's a little cold. My Merry loved the cold weather and snow. I always laughed when I saw her play and told her she should have been a husky in Alaska.


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## Melakat

Keep sharing your feelings and your pictures of dear Merry. It does help. At 6 weeks out I am finding it better but last night I walked in from being out for the evening and was not thinking about Oakley and walked in the door thinking he would be there (without thinking if that makes sense) and he wasn't and I just out of the blue had tears.

It gets easier but it is still hard at the same time. When a dog has given so much love it is healing to honor them so keep sharing her lovely pics with us


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## Taylorsmum

KKaren said:


> Today I'm just thankful that such a wonderful, silly puppy chose me. I remember the day I got her and I had selected another puppy. I was holding her and the breeder went to get the paperwork. Before they got back I had put that girl down and Merry was in my arms. .




I had to smile when I read this, when I first went to choose Henry I had picked up and cuddled three of his brothers but it wasn't to be. The breeder was holding Henry and I had assumed he was a she (knew I wanted a dog) and was prepared to walk away empty handed. She said what about this one I held out my arms and never put him down, he looked at me and we both just knew we were meant for each other.

Your lovely Merry certainly fell on her feet choosing you.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

KKaren said:


> Thank you Buddy's mom, She did, on my way to work yesterday this came on the radio
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-4NFvI5U9w
> 
> My chains are gone, I've been set free... That's all I needed to help me. I still cry but it's OK.


Yesterday morning I was parking my car at work when my Bud's song started, has been 3 years and 6 months today, and I was sitting there until the song ended, crying. He would be 13 years old next Saturday.


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## Melakat

How are you doing Karen? Just checking in.


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## KKaren

Melakat (Oakley's Mom), Thank you for checking on me, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I'm Ok, still weepy, I know that you know what I'm feeling. I walk our lake often in the morning and I see the beauty, but I also get caught in the memories of this or that adventure and it hurts. I'll just have have to move forward at my own pace. Merry came back home yesterday in a beautiful wooden box with little foot prints on it, and a paw print. So today, I'm getting a place set up for her on the fireplace mantel. 

Sweet, sweet little girl. Here is one of our funny pictures where, when I would come home from work, I would kid around and put my scarf on her neck .

Sending love and kind thoughts back your way.


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## Karen519

*Merry*

Karen

I just love that picture of Merry with your scarf around her neck.
So GLAD she is home with you.
We have Gizmo, Munchkin, Smooch and Snobear, in their little white boxes and Smooch's paw print, with a picture in front of them, on the glass shelves in our family room.


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## dborgers

I wanted to let you know I'm with you in spirit and following your thread. 

It's so incredibly sad to say 'goodbye until we meet again'. Many of us have been there ourselves, and offer you our ears and hearts.


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## Taylorsmum

Hi Karen,

Have been thinking about you, nice to see another picture of Merry. I hope that you feel some comfort now that she is back home with you. Healing thoughts xx


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## Mel

Dear Karen,
Loved the photo of Merry in scarf. I think it´s great that you reached out to others with same love for our fur babies. I´m sure we all cried a little bit thinking of you and Merry and hope our thoughts reach Merry so that she feels rest assured that you´ll be OK.
Lots of love from Mel and her Mom.


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## Gratitude14

Driggsy I have never heard that saying before but such wisdom & comfort it holds.

Blessings to you for sharing.


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## mygoldengirl

Karen, I'm truly sorry for your loss. You have some awesome memories with Merry. You gave her a GREAT LIFE! Best wishes


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## Melakat

KKaren said:


> Melakat (Oakley's Mom), Thank you for checking on me, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.
> 
> I'm Ok, still weepy, I know that you know what I'm feeling. I walk our lake often in the morning and I see the beauty, but I also get caught in the memories of this or that adventure and it hurts. I'll just have have to move forward at my own pace. Merry came back home yesterday in a beautiful wooden box with little foot prints on it, and a paw print. So today, I'm getting a place set up for her on the fireplace mantel.
> 
> Sweet, sweet little girl. Here is one of our funny pictures where, when I would come home from work, I would kid around and put my scarf on her neck .
> 
> Sending love and kind thoughts back your way.


It is so hard to walk the same walk we walked with them - without them. The first few times are the very hardest.

I think it is so sweet that you put your scarves on her - all girls like to dress up - even fur girls


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## KKaren

Karen519 said:


> Karen
> I just love that picture of Merry with your scarf around her neck.
> So GLAD she is home with you.
> We have Gizmo, Munchkin, Smooch and Snobear, in their little white boxes and Smooch's paw print, with a picture in front of them, on the glass shelves in our family room.


Hi Karen, Having Gizmo, Munchkin, Smooch and Snobear there with their picutres that's very nice. I think that I'll set up something like that.



dborgers said:


> I wanted to let you know I'm with you in spirit and following your thread.
> It's so incredibly sad to say 'goodbye until we meet again'. Many of us have been there ourselves, and offer you our ears and hearts.


Thank you so much, drove up to Rochester yesterday from Maryland. I grew up in Rochester and my sister is having Thanksgiving. We (Merry and me) traveled this probably over 100 times and it was hard to not see her in the back seat. She was such a good sport, to hop in the car without any fuss, even when I had less money and smaller cars.. volkswagon (tiny back seat), mustang (not a lot of Golden head room), and then finally her favorate car my Subaru forester (back seat with paw room to spare). Lots of places where we would alway stop for a break and of course those french fries she would look for that would fly from the front seat to the back



Taylorsmum said:


> Hi Karen,
> Have been thinking about you, nice to see another picture of Merry. I hope that you feel some comfort now that she is back home with you. Healing thoughts xx


Taylorsmum, thanks, I'm glad she's home, I'm getting there on the healing, Having a dog is one of the joys in my life. I know there will be another golden in the future, just need to let my heart have some time 



Driggsy said:


> What's that saying? "They take a little part of our souls with them, so they can find us when we arrive".
> I will tell Driggsy to watch out for her.


What a nice saying, I agree with Gratitude14 it holds comfort and wisdom. Thank you, 
I'm sure she's met Driggsy by now, Merry was a bit of a curious george... she wasn't the bravest but would notice everything.



Melakat said:


> I think it is so sweet that you put your scarves on her - all girls like to dress up - even fur girls


Yes, scarves, jackets, soccer jerseys, .... she liked cheese so much that I used to tease her and tell her that I was going to order one of the triangle cheese hats that the Green Bay Packers fans wear 



Mel said:


> Dear Karen,
> Loved the photo of Merry in scarf. I think it´s great that you reached out to others with same love for our fur babies. I´m sure we all cried a little bit thinking of you and Merry and hope our thoughts reach Merry so that she feels rest assured that you´ll be OK.
> Lots of love from Mel and her Mom.


Thanks Mel and her Mom, I wish I knew of this forum when she was healthy, it would have been fun to tell you of all our silly adventures.

Thanks "mygoldengirl"
Yes, I am thankful for these memories, even of the last year when we were battling, caring for her in sickness also brought a deeper love of her. 

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone on the Forum, Karen (Merry's mom)


----------



## dborgers

Karen,

You have a new angel looking out for you now  I don't doubt they're serving a huge Thanksgiving feast for all our bridge boys and girls. And they can eat ALL they want to.

We'll be thinking of you today


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## KKaren

Some days are sadder than others, today on the way home from work I was crying because I missed my Merry so, and then on my Facebook feed was this poem. It gives me some comfort. Among my friends, 6 of us have lost dogs this year. It's hard to believe, so many. My Merry, Lisa's Bella, Amy's Woody, Ching's Bosco, Diane's PK, Sheri's Cayce and Halo. 

To my dearest friend.
I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.

Author Unknown

I like the lines, 
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
"Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me."


----------



## Melakat

What a beautiful poem to have read when you were having a tough day.

It made me think of this photo.

"perhaps now, as you walk, an invisible shape follows you close by"

Thinking of you.


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## KKaren

Melakat said:


> What a beautiful poem to have read when you were having a tough day.
> 
> It made me think of this photo.
> 
> "perhaps now, as you walk, an invisible shape follows you close by"
> 
> Thinking of you.


Thank you Melakat, beautiful picture, there are ups and down. I think it's mostly that I have to keep everything together for the work week so I don't let myself think too much of Merry, finally when I'm at the weekend I can let myself remember her. 

It's also this time last year when she first got vestibular disease. I'm bitter about that. One day, Sat Dec, 14th she's fine, it's snowing, we're getting ready for Christmas, Merry's off to the groomers, I'm running around shopping, and then Sunday the 15th, she gets her heart worm medicine in the AM and by the afternoon she starts to stumble and by Monday morning she can't walk. I always wondered if there was a reaction to the heart worm, the vet said it was only a coincidence. 

As I look back at my notes on the calendar, it's not until the 23rd that she stood up by herself. I remember how happy and surprised I was when she got up to get water from her bowl. But she was never able to roll again, the sensors in her ears never recovered. I don't think she ever understood why she couldn't roll in the grass, poor peach. She was such a trouper, even when her head was all crooked and she couldn't really figure out where her paws were, she just trusted that I would lead her some place safe.


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## KKaren

*Happy New Year To My Bridge Girl, Merry*

Happy New Year Merry Boobers....
I hope you had a fabulous party up there for New Year's Eve. I was thinking of you last night looking at the cheese plate.

Thinking this morning of all the silly names we had
Cheese Head
Miss Merry
Woobie
Dragon Breath
Pumpkin Pie
Stinky Butt
Miss Stinky... hee hee
Itchy Bomb
Little Merry
Sweetie Pie
Merry Boobers
Sweet Pea
Silly Goose

Sitting at the table this morning and pretending you are under there, just like you always were.

I hope you are feeling better and that your legs and back don't hurt any more.

I'm just about to head out to the lake for a New Year's walk, come with me, it's cold but beautiful.

Miss you, Love you.
Your Woobie


----------



## 3 goldens

So hard to do, so right to do. I had to let my 13 year old golden girl go Aug. 13. Luckily she was very playful up until the last couple of weeks, and even then she wanted her walks and her treats. Lymphoma for our Honey. and so sadly, just 1 month and 10 days later we had to do the same thing for our blidn Great Pyreneees, Shaggy. Fine one daym very ill the next, ruptured tumor on spleen we did not know was there. Honey had gone almost deaf the last few months but se looked me in the eyes, never looking slse where as I held her head in my lap. I kept telling her I loved her and I thik she could read it in my eyes tho she couldn't hear the words . Shaggy, same thing, I held tha big head telling him how much he was loved. He couldn't see me, but he could hear me. So hard to do, so right to not let them suffer.


----------



## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Happy New Year Merry Boobers....
> I hope you had a fabulous party up there for New Year's Eve. I was thinking of you last night looking at the cheese plate.
> 
> Thinking this morning of all the silly names we had
> Cheese Head
> Miss Merry
> Woobie
> Dragon Breath
> Pumpkin Pie
> Stinky Butt
> Miss Stinky... hee hee
> Itchy Bomb
> Little Merry
> Sweetie Pie
> Merry Boobers
> Sweet Pea
> Silly Goose
> 
> Sitting at the table this morning and pretending you are under there, just like you always were.
> 
> I hope you are feeling better and that your legs and back don't hurt any more.
> 
> I'm just about to head out to the lake for a New Year's walk, come with me, it's cold but beautiful.
> 
> Miss you, Love you.
> Your Woobie


It is so beautiful and touching, what you wrote about Merry. I love all of her nicknames. Makes me reminisce about my Smooch!


----------



## KKaren

3 goldens said:


> So hard to do, so right to do. I had to let my 13 year old golden girl go Aug. 13. Luckily she was very playful up until the last couple of weeks, and even then she wanted her walks and her treats. Lymphoma for our Honey. and so sadly, just 1 month and 10 days later we had to do the same thing for our blidn Great Pyreneees, Shaggy. Fine one daym very ill the next, ruptured tumor on spleen we did not know was there. Honey had gone almost deaf the last few months but se looked me in the eyes, never looking slse where as I held her head in my lap. I kept telling her I loved her and I thik she could read it in my eyes tho she couldn't hear the words . Shaggy, same thing, I held tha big head telling him how much he was loved. He couldn't see me, but he could hear me. So hard to do, so right to not let them suffer.


You are so right, 3 goldens,

It is hard to do, and right to not let them suffer. But it never leaves you. I'm sorry about your Honey and then so quickly after Shaggy. Gosh 2014 was a hard year for many of us. Thanks for writing. I hope you and your family have a wonderful new year, filled with joy. and that Moose is there getting treats and giving love. 
Karen


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## Taylorsmum

Karen,

I have just been catching up with your thread. Your love for Merry shines through in every word you write as does the pain you still feel at her loss. I hope that you enjoyed your walk and that out of the corner of your eye you saw your Merry, we all know that she was there beside you.

With our very best wishes for 2015

Jill and Taylor


----------



## KKaren

Karen519 said:


> It is so beautiful and touching, what you wrote about Merry. I love all of her nicknames. Makes me reminisce about my Smooch!


Happy New Year Karen! 
I think we all have those funny names for our pups... although some of Merry's were not so flattering lol. She did like to roll in all kinds of things outside, thus the Miss Stinky title. One time, I was thinking about it yesterday, I was out bird watching and she was running in the woods and rolled in a dead raccoon. YUCK. Then when I called her she wouldn't come, so I walk over to her and the darn thing had gotten caught on her collar so she thought she was staked. 

She was definitely as Silly Goose!

Thinking of Smooch and Snobear, and give a scratch on the neck to Tonka and Tucker from me! I hope 2015 has many blessings for you and your family.
Karen


----------



## KKaren

Taylorsmum said:


> Karen,
> 
> I have just been catching up with your thread. Your love for Merry shines through in every word you write as does the pain you still feel at her loss. I hope that you enjoyed your walk and that out of the corner of your eye you saw your Merry, we all know that she was there beside you.
> 
> With our very best wishes for 2015
> 
> Jill and Taylor


Thank you Jill, 
I do love her so, even as we are not in the same place. And I grieve still. It's only here that I can actually write things about my Merry. I'm certain that if I posted this on my FB or Twitter feed, that my family and friends would think I needed additional help. 

But, then again, not that many people have the joy and love of a golden retriever  So they just don't know how wonderful it is.

All good wishes to you, Taylor, and your family for 2015. 
Hugs,
Karen


----------



## 2tired

KKaren said:


> Thank you Melakat, beautiful picture, there are ups and down. I think it's mostly that I have to keep everything together for the work week so I don't let myself think too much of Merry, finally when I'm at the weekend I can let myself remember her.
> 
> It's also this time last year when she first got vestibular disease. I'm bitter about that. One day, Sat Dec, 14th she's fine, it's snowing, we're getting ready for Christmas, Merry's off to the groomers, I'm running around shopping, and then Sunday the 15th, she gets her heart worm medicine in the AM and by the afternoon she starts to stumble and by Monday morning she can't walk. I always wondered if there was a reaction to the heart worm, the vet said it was only a coincidence.
> 
> As I look back at my notes on the calendar, it's not until the 23rd that she stood up by herself. I remember how happy and surprised I was when she got up to get water from her bowl. But she was never able to roll again, the sensors in her ears never recovered. I don't think she ever understood why she couldn't roll in the grass, poor peach. She was such a trouper, even when her head was all crooked and she couldn't really figure out where her paws were, she just trusted that I would lead her some place safe.


As I was reading about your Merry, this entry stood out. A similar thing happened to my Casey, shortly after taking his heartworm prevention. I often wondered if it was the heartworm pill

I'm sorry for the loss of your Merry.


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## KKaren

2tired said:


> As I was reading about your Merry, this entry stood out. A similar thing happened to my Casey, shortly after taking his heartworm prevention. I often wondered if it was the heartworm pill
> 
> I'm sorry for the loss of your Merry.


Thank you 2tired, for you kind words.

I'm very sorry to hear also about your Casey, it's such a scary thing to experience. I had never heard of vestibular before or worked with a dog that had vertigo. The heartworm medicine was always in the back of my mind.... but there were so many variables and I recognize there is nothing conclusive.

With my next dog, I will likely take a different approach to heart worm prevention/monitoring.

Take care, Karen... PS, Love the gold finch in your avatar


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## Melakat

You were together for so long and it is so hard isn't it? We just returned from the lake and I missed Oakley playing hockey with the kids on the ice. 

Loved all of your fun names you had for her and I am sure she misses being with you too - until you meet again....thinking about you.


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## Elisabeth Kazup

My heart breaks for you. And for me. Today is Penny's 13 birthday. She missed it by 18 months.

When I read your first post, not realizing it was a couple of months ago, this line stood out:


*It’s been a long time since she has rolled in the grass, trotted with her tail up, stole my slippers, played with her toys*

These are the things our Goldens live for. Never doubt that you did the right thing. God bless you. I hope you find peace and comfort in the new year.


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## Karen519

*Penny*

Wishing you a very happy Bridge Birthday, Penny!


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## KKaren

Penny's Mom said:


> My heart breaks for you. And for me. Today is Penny's 13 birthday. She missed it by 18 months.
> 
> When I read your first post, not realizing it was a couple of months ago, this line stood out:
> 
> 
> *It’s been a long time since she has rolled in the grass, trotted with her tail up, stole my slippers, played with her toys*
> 
> These are the things our Goldens live for. Never doubt that you did the right thing. God bless you. I hope you find peace and comfort in the new year.


Thank you Penny's Mom, I really appreciate you writing and sharing your thoughts. I agree, rolling in the grass, trotting with their tail up, dashing by with our slippers, or socks , and playing with all those stuffed toys are what Goldens live for, that delight in the world around them. In my mind I see my Merry trotting ahead of me on the lake path with her tail up. I used to sing this song to her...

Let's go, Let's go, Let's go my little Merry...
Let's go, Let's go my little Merry....
Let's go, Let's go, Let's go, Let's go...... Leeeetttt's go!

...and she would prance. 

Thanks again for your kind words, it's better for me with time, a little more of the good memories to balance the sadness. I'm glad that we loved our Goldens deeply. It's no wonder that these special days, like beautiful Penny's birthday, hurt. 

Hugs, Karen

PS. Your Mr. Darcy is pretty darn handsome. I have been enjoying his thread. I love the picture where he is on the green bed in front of the fireplace with the stockings and he's looking to the side.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Just stopped by to say hello, I was thinking of you and your sweet Merry this morning. Hope it is getting easier as days go by, hugs.


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## Carmel

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just can't read these yet because although it's been a year since I lost my Golden, it's still pretty raw on my heart. Getting another Golden puppy next week and I know I will love him SO MUCH but not ready yet to let Carmel go...


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## KKaren

Buddy's mom forever said:


> Just stopped by to say hello, I was thinking of you and your sweet Merry this morning. Hope it is getting easier as days go by, hugs.


Thank you Buddy's Mom for thinking of me. It's getting a easier, less crying, thank goodness and more looking ahead. You know, the decision to help Merry to the bridge is something that will be with me always. In many ways it has changed me, and as I look for my next sweet golden I know that I will be responsible for protecting and caring for her in every situation, the good ones and the hard ones. 

I spend some time on the forum now learning, planning , thinking that for my next golden I may work more seriously on obedience or some of the other fun things that people are doing. I have a lot of sports for myself, golf, softball, soccer, and even bowling, so I perhaps my next goldie will like have a sport for herself. Something we can work on together 

Sending love up your way Buddy's Mom, Please give that beautiful Charlie a hug and a smooch for me xoxo Karen


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## KKaren

Carmel said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss. I just can't read these yet because although it's been a year since I lost my Golden, it's still pretty raw on my heart. Getting another Golden puppy next week and I know I will love him SO MUCH but not ready yet to let Carmel go...


Thank you for your kind note.

I understand your thoughts so well. Many times when I read a thread on Rainbow Bridge, it's so very sad.

I'm sorry for your loss of Carmel, but I know that your heart will be helped with a Golden puppy. I can't wait to see your pictures.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Karen, no matter how much time past we will always have those odd days when we again and again question everything but we have to remember thinking of it now it is different, we did the best we could in the past.
I can't believe this May will be 4 years I've lost my Buddy. It seems like a lifetime without him but in my heart it feels like we parted yesterday.

My Charlie is people oriented guy, sending you hugs back with no problem. :smooch:


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Thank you Buddy's Mom for thinking of me. It's getting a easier, less crying, thank goodness and more looking ahead. You know, the decision to help Merry to the bridge is something that will be with me always. In many ways it has changed me, and as I look for my next sweet golden I know that I will be responsible for protecting and caring for her in every situation, the good ones and the hard ones.
> 
> I spend some time on the forum now learning, planning , thinking that for my next golden I may work more seriously on obedience or some of the other fun things that people are doing. I have a lot of sports for myself, golf, softball, soccer, and even bowling, so I perhaps my next goldie will like have a sport for herself. Something we can work on together
> 
> Sending love up your way Buddy's Mom, Please give that beautiful Charlie a hug and a smooch for me xoxo Karen


Happy Easter to you. So glad you are planning for your next Goldie! I am sure Merry would be happy, too!


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## Buddy's mom forever

Those first ones without them are not easy ... hope you are having Happy Easter. Hugs.


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## KKaren

Karen519 said:


> Happy Easter to you. So glad you are planning for your next Goldie! I am sure Merry would be happy, too!


Thank you Karen. I know that my life is so much happier, brighter with a dog. And gosh, there are so many cute, cute puppies on the board. I'm looking out to late summer when I can take some time off to be with a new puppy.


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Thank you Karen. I know that my life is so much happier, brighter with a dog. And gosh, there are so many cute, cute puppies on the board. I'm looking out to late summer when I can take some time off to be with a new puppy.


Merry will be happy for you. Are you looking to rescue or at a breeder?


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## KKaren

Buddy's mom forever said:


> Those first ones without them are not easy ... hope you are having Happy Easter. Hugs.


Oh my goodness Buddy's mom, you are so very right. 

As I watch our lake come back into spring, with the new buds, I have so many Merry memories. She was such a silly pumpkin --- she would see the geese and puff up like she was the boss of the path and they had better move aside. Although I know that she wasn't the bravest of girl, very soft, but she would get her swagger on and it was fun to see her so confident. 

Thank you for the Easter wishes, May the blessing of this season be with you and your family and Charlie, and Buddy at the Bridge.


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## KKaren

Karen519 said:


> Merry will be happy for you. Are you looking to rescue or at a breeder?


I've looked at both, and almost taken home a dog a time or two  I stopped myself, because in January/Feb I was worried that I was not really ready yet. Right now I'm on a list for a puppy, but it's too early to know if the breeding resulted in a pregnancy and whether there will be a girl for me. Fingers crossed, I'm sure it will all work out and the right dog will find me.


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> I've looked at both, and almost taken home a dog a time or two  I stopped myself, because in January/Feb I was worried that I was not really ready yet. Right now I'm on a list for a puppy, but it's too early to know if the breeding resulted in a pregnancy and whether there will be a girl for me. Fingers crossed, I'm sure it will all work out and the right dog will find me.


Yes, the right dog will find you. Don't know if I would ever know if I'm ready-
I sort of let the needy dog make me ready!


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## Buddy's mom forever

KKaren said:


> I've looked at both, and almost taken home a dog a time or two  I stopped myself, because in January/Feb I was worried that I was not really ready yet. Right now I'm on a list for a puppy, but it's too early to know if the breeding resulted in a pregnancy and whether there will be a girl for me. Fingers crossed, I'm sure it will all work out and the right dog will find me.


I am glad that you are on the list for a puppy girl, fingers crossed like you've said, but we know it will be like it is meant to be. As it is coming closer to 4th anniversary in May I find myself more and more thinking of my Buddy and is getting very hard posting on the Bridge threads. It was a long journey to come where I am right now and having my Charlie on this journey is helping a lot. It wasn't a magic pill but sure he is giving me all what I needed and more.
Charlie is sending you many hugs.


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## Melakat

KKaren said:


> T
> 
> I spend some time on the forum now learning, planning , thinking that for my next golden I may work more seriously on obedience or some of the other fun things that people are doing. I have a lot of sports for myself, golf, softball, soccer, and even bowling, so I perhaps my next goldie will like have a sport for herself. Something we can work on together


I am so glad to hear that you are planning on getting another dog to Love. I know that the planning and educating that I did also helped my grieving process after losing Oakley.

We too are spending more time with our Logan with training and obedience we shall see where it takes us.

I was thinking about you today as we lost our Goldens not that far apart. With Spring in the air and the blossoms on the trees - life moves on and the Earth provides us with new beginnings and so will a new Golden to love. Having a puppy - who cannot love them automatically? It is that deep connection with your dog that grows over time - that connection that you and Merry had  Thinking of you.


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## KKaren

Miss you, Love you Merry,
It's been a year since I sent you on to Rainbow Bridge. It seems like 1000 years. Somehow time is moving so fast and it seems so very long since I saw you last. xoxo Merry Boobers.


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## CAROLINA MOM

These anniversaries are so hard, it doesn't seem possible it's been a year.
I can relate to what you said about it seeming so very long since you last saw Merry. 
I felt the same way when I lost my boy, it seemed like a lifetime in so many ways and only like yesterday in other ways. 

My thoughts are with today, I hope baby girl Glimmer is helping your heart heal and filling your life with joy and love.


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## KKaren

Thanks Carolina Mom, 

**Sigh** If you love dogs, there will always be great joy... with all of the love that they bring to life, and great sorrow... because they never stay long enough. 

I wouldn't have missed the joy for anything!


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## Jud

I am thinking of you 








Sabrina - 5 Days
Cara-Mia - 7/3-7/15 - Daddy's Forever Heart-Golden


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## Taylorsmum

Have a glass or two of wine my friend and I will join voices with you and sing one of your Merry songs.


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## AngelCoopersMom

Hugs. We are only 7 weeks out from saying goodbye and it is such horrible pain. We are looking into adopting another golden into the family but haven't made the big step yet. We are afraid to go through the puppy stage again but are also afraid that if we don't we won't have such an awesome dog as Cooper was. He was trained by us from the moment we got him...but that was pre-human kids. Now there isn't as much time but maybe our boys could help train? I don't know. I hope you find the memories are happy now and not as painful. I look forward to that time for us.


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## KKaren

AngelCoopersMom said:


> Hugs. We are only 7 weeks out from saying goodbye and it is such horrible pain. We are looking into adopting another golden into the family but haven't made the big step yet. We are afraid to go through the puppy stage again but are also afraid that if we don't we won't have such an awesome dog as Cooper was. He was trained by us from the moment we got him...but that was pre-human kids. Now there isn't as much time but maybe our boys could help train? I don't know. I hope you find the memories are happy now and not as painful. I look forward to that time for us.


Thank you for your note. The pain is horrible, and I know how you are feeling. Give yourself some time and when it feels right I hope you will find that puppy or dog to add to your family. Glimmer, the silly girl in my signature, came to live with me in July. There were lots of tears as I picked her up, but it was also healing. Some things that I couldn't part with from Merry, I was able to let go after I got Glimmer, and then some things that I saved,-- toys and such-- Glimmer plays with and it makes me smile. xx


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## GoldenCamper

The 1st anniversary of a beloved dogs passing is hard, hugs.

All the firsts after they pass like birthdays and holidays bring tears too I know. And "that" song that comes on the radio as your in the supermarket and try to choke back the tears.

I haven't been around much so just read your first post in this thread and we are currently going through some similarities. Vestibular on top of seizures has been a ride but we are doing well.

Glad you have Glimmer to help you through. Every dog teaches us something different, they are never the same. I wouldn't trade what I've through with mine for the world. I think the joy of having them in our lives outweighs the grief we have to go through.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Those anniversary days are always hard, especially the first ones.
Hope Glimmers gives you comfort and helps you remember sweet Merry with smile. Hugs.


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## Resident Eric

so sorry for your loss


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## KKaren

Thank you for thinking of me, Eric, Golden Camper, and Buddy's Mom


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## Karen519

*Glimmer*



KKaren said:


> Thank you for your note. The pain is horrible, and I know how you are feeling. Give yourself some time and when it feels right I hope you will find that puppy or dog to add to your family. Glimmer, the silly girl in my signature, came to live with me in July. There were lots of tears as I picked her up, but it was also healing. Some things that I couldn't part with from Merry, I was able to let go after I got Glimmer, and then some things that I saved,-- toys and such-- Glimmer plays with and it makes me smile. xx


I don't doubt that Merry sent Glimmer to you, just like Smooch sent me Tucker!


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## KKaren

Karen519 said:


> I don't doubt that Merry sent Glimmer to you, just like Smooch sent me Tucker!


Thanks Karen, You are very right... I know they look after us, your Smooch and Snobear and my Merry


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## KKaren

Oh Merry, I miss you today. It's been so very very long since I've seen you. I can't believe that the days go by and I can't see you or touch you or pet your soft, soft fur. Everyone always said ... "she's so soft" when they petted you. Take care of Mom ... I'll see you on the other side sweet one. i love you.


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## Karen519

*Nerry*



KKaren said:


> Oh Merry, I miss you today. It's been so very very long since I've seen you. I can't believe that the days go by and I can't see you or touch you or pet your soft, soft fur. Everyone always said ... "she's so soft" when they petted you. Take care of Mom ... I'll see you on the other side sweet one. i love you.


I love what you wrote about Merry!
I look forward to seeing mine on the other side, too!


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## KKaren

Thanks Karen, 
As I get closer to the date that I let her go, I think of Merry more and more... and our last days together. The trees on our lake are the same color and the sky is that crisp fall blue.. and I walk the same path, now with Glimmer. Although I realize that this is part of our lives, I am sad that she's not here. 

Just yesterday I saw an old soccer teammate that I had not seen for some time. We used to be on the same team and now play for other teams... we were in a game against each other and the first thing she asked was "How's Merry?" Merry was such a part of me, always on the sidelines of our games. Having not seen each other for a while, it was of course the first thing that she thought of.

My sweet girl... beautiful, beautiful golden soul

Karen519.... we will see them on the other side. ...sigh... I just wish I could go visit for a few minutes now and then.


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## Karen519

*Karen*



KKaren said:


> Thanks Karen,
> As I get closer to the date that I let her go, I think of Merry more and more... and our last days together. The trees on our lake are the same color and the sky is that crisp fall blue.. and I walk the same path, now with Glimmer. Although I realize that this is part of our lives, I am sad that she's not here.
> 
> Just yesterday I saw an old soccer teammate that I had not seen for some time. We used to be on the same team and now play for other teams... we were in a game against each other and the first thing she asked was "How's Merry?" Merry was such a part of me, always on the sidelines of our games. Having not seen each other for a while, it was of course the first thing that she thought of.
> 
> My sweet girl... beautiful, beautiful golden soul
> 
> Karen519.... we will see them on the other side. ...sigh... I just wish I could go visit for a few minutes now and then.


It would be nice to go and visit for a few minutes. Next month, on Dec. 7th, it will be 6 years since we lost our Smooch.


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## Mausann

I sure know what you are going thru, I have been thru it 3 times and it doesn't get any easier. I agree with what the vet said, it is okey to go on a good day and you do not have to wait for a bad day. You will make the right decision, you have taken care of her well for 15 yrs. Listen to yourself she knows you love her, let her go when you think the time is right. Hugs to you!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## sterling18

KKaren said:


> Thanks Karen,
> As I get closer to the date that I let her go, I think of Merry more and more... and our last days together. The trees on our lake are the same color and the sky is that crisp fall blue.. and I walk the same path, now with Glimmer. Although I realize that this is part of our lives, I am sad that she's not here.
> 
> Just yesterday I saw an old soccer teammate that I had not seen for some time. We used to be on the same team and now play for other teams... we were in a game against each other and the first thing she asked was "How's Merry?" Merry was such a part of me, always on the sidelines of our games. Having not seen each other for a while, it was of course the first thing that she thought of.
> 
> My sweet girl... beautiful, beautiful golden soul
> 
> Karen519.... we will see them on the other side. ...sigh... I just wish I could go visit for a few minutes now and then.


Karen, I totally know what you mean about visit for a few minutes now and then. OMG, if we only could. I'm afraid I would never let go if I did get to put my arms around my Scout.


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## KKaren

*Merry's Day*

I miss you my Merry...

Today it's 4 years since I sent you on to Rainbow Bridge

It's such a long time.... yet it seems like just yesterday

Some of the memories are faint... but I see clearly 
--the day I picked you up as you curled up in the front seat of my car, 
--your head high and your prance when I said the words "you wanna go swimmin?", and 
-- your eyes dancing when you stole my slippers

My head understands that all lives end... but for my heart even now I weep.

Sigh... Merry, My Merry... . wait for me with mom.


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