# A letter to my sweet girl, Heidi.



## Blaireli (Jun 3, 2008)

My Heidi Girl. So sweet and precious, a gentler creature I've never met. I miss you, more than I could have ever imagined. The last month has been filled with grief, inconsolable tears on my part, and general heartbreak throughout the house. I was looking through pictures on my computer last night and pulled up pictures of you. Luke put his paws on my desk and just looked at the pictures, then laid down next to me and wouldn't move. He misses you so much. For a dog who doesn't care about other dogs, Luke loved you immeasurably. Maggie has been much more subdued, and Tucker searches for you everywhere. Aunt Brooke can't even talk about you without crying, but I know without a doubt that you know how much she loves you and that she did everything in her power to pull you through this. Sometimes, things are just beyond our reach.

Two weeks ago, the nice people at MedVet called to let me know they had your things ready to pick up. When I was driving up to the building, all I could think about was that morning when we sped from Circleville to Worthington to take you to get help, talking to Deb the entire way. When I got out of my car, there was a man walking out of the building with an older female Golden, and all I could think was, "Oh my God, he is so lucky. He gets to take her home with him." I went inside and I just lost it. They took me to the room where we said our final goodbye, and I had such a feeling of peace, as though you were there with me. I laid down on the sofa and just cried, thinking about how hard we both tried to make it through that weekend, how we both fought, and wondering if I did the right thing. I hope you know that I did everything I could to save you and we only stopped because the doctors said it was no longer fair to you. It wasn't about the money and it wasn't because I didn't want to try anymore. I would have sold the house to pay for treatments if I would have thought they were going to work. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make to not be selfish and to let you go. I fret daily over the idea that maybe we didn't try hard enough, or maybe we put you through too much with the transfusions. I had to do it, Heidi. I'm sorry that we put you through that and your condition did not improve, but I had to give us that chance. The chance to have the life that we should have had together. A life together that should have lasted many, many years, instead of the six short months that we were granted. We made a great run in six months, though, didn't we? I'm sorry that I couldn't do more, but I am so thankful that we were able to spend your last days together. Given what I know now, I wouldn't have done anything differently and I wouldn't trade a day that we were able to spend together. 

I kiss you goodnight each night - I'm afraid I'm going to wear off the finish on your box, haha. I say a prayer before I go to bed that you are having fun playing at the rainbow bridge, drifting on clouds, chasing tennis balls, and being healthy and young again. That you will wait for us and be patient in calling your brothers and sister to join you. That we will all be together again some day in the future, and it will be like no time has passed at all. 

"A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven. Then we'll all be together forever." - Chris Nielsen, What Dreams May Come 



I hope nobody minds, but these are the last pictures that I took of my sweet girl, when she was fighting that last night.


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## z&mom (Oct 7, 2006)

Such a beautiful and touching letter... (sobs!). Heidi will remain forever in our hearts. Take care.


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## jaireen (Feb 25, 2008)

heidi is so beautiful...she even managed to smile despite the situation she was in...thank you for sharing blair....i feel for you....


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## SoGolden (Jul 17, 2008)

Blair, 
 
Such a lovely tribute to your wonderful companion. 
I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Blair..... what a glorious, wonderful love letter to your sweet Heidi. Heidi knows with every bit of her soul how much you love her and how hard you all fought for her. And when it was just too much for her, you gave her that last precious gift.... of freedom from her pain and suffering. You are the bestest of golden Moms and your pack is so blessed to have you. Hugs Blair.


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## Fozzybear (Feb 27, 2008)

Wonderfully written letter. Thanks for Sharing.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Blair,
That is a very beautiful and touching love letter to Heidi. She had that beautiful spirit in those pictures that show she knew you loved her. Run free sweet girl and give my Ben and Katie a big kiss from their Mommy.


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

Blair what a beautiful letter to your Heidi. Thank you for sharing her with us. She knows how much you love her and is always watching over you and her brothers and sisters. She was only with you for a short time but in that time she knew what it was to be loved. Take care of yourself and your other pups.


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## 3SweetGoldens (Feb 28, 2007)

Blair...such a beautiful letter to your precious Heidi. Truly heartbreaking, I am crying as I read it this morning. Heidi knows how much you loved her, and did EVERYTHING possible...and MORE to try and save her life Sometimes sadly...no matter what we do, things are just not meant to be.
Heidi is forever young and healthy now...playing happily at the bridge...until the day she will see you once again. Please take care of yourself, and your other babies.:smooch: I know you are all grieving the tremendous loss of her no longer being with you. You continue to be in my prayers for the healing of your pain.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

Blair,
What a wonderful LOVE letter to Heidi. You did all that you could do and Heidi knew it. She *is* waiting for you at the Bridge.
My prayers continue to be with you and your sweet pups. 
Please take care of yourself.
xxoo Amy


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## hermione hewitt (Oct 24, 2007)

Just beautiful made me cry


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## Powderpuff (Dec 30, 2007)

hermione hewitt said:


> Just beautiful made me cry


Me too.

Blair, everyone here knows how much you loved Heidi and how you fought for her.

<hug>


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## Thor0918 (Feb 28, 2008)

You were her angel now then and for ever!


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Heidi knew that you loved her, but sadly there comes a point when we know that the last battle cannot be won. You gave Heidi that ultimate and final sacrifice by letting her go peacefully to the bridge.

Heidi will remain with you - in your heart, in your memories of her and she will walk with you on silent paws

Run free, play hard and sleep softly Heidi


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## Fidele (Sep 17, 2008)

Blair,
Such a beautiful letter of love! (I wish I could express myself as well!) Miss Heidi knew how well she was loved - just look at that smile, sick as she was! OOPS - Cedar is noticing my tears and bringing me his favorite, very slobbery tennis ball . . . .

May your good memories and the thoughts of Heidi running free and wihout pain at The Bridge help heal your heart!

HUGS!
Fidele


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## MyBaileyGirl (Jun 11, 2008)

I was just admiring the picture of Heidi that you gave me that is now beside my desk here at work. I didn't realize it had been a month. ((HUGS)) We should do dinner again soon for the laughs, you deserve it!


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## *~Pry&Kasper~* (Dec 25, 2008)

You did all you could thank you for being the person you are! I am sure your pup is looking down at you and thanks you for all you ever did for her!

you are a wonderfull person with a good heart it shows!


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## kjarv24 (Nov 7, 2008)

This is such a Beautiful Letter Blair, I cried so hard reading this. It is a day in all of our lives that we don't look forward to, but I hope that If I come to a time in my life where one of my pups go through something similar, I can get through it as well as you and make the right decision. Heidi knows that you love her & You are such a wonderful person, so helpful & kind around the board. 
Heidi was Truly Blessed to have you as a mom.
Heidi was just beautiful in her pictures


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## maggie1951 (Apr 20, 2007)

hermione hewitt said:


> Just beautiful made me cry


 
Made me cry to she was a sweet girl and you gave her everything Blair


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Blair,

Heidi will always live in your heart, remember that. 

It is hard when we have to "play God", but you did more than most owners would. We always second guess ourselves, was it too soon, or too late, but the important part is that she is no longer suffering, and that she was and always be a part of your life and who you are. 

I know she must have been so happy to have found you and your gang.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

_A beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul. I was afraid to read your post because I knew it would make me cry...it did. Heidi knew that you loved her and did everything you could to save her. You can see it in her eyes, she loved you and knew you loved her, but she was ready to go. 

I hope you're feeling better and sweet Luke finds his joy again.
_


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## olik (Apr 13, 2008)

tears big time here.((((Hugs))))


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Thank you so much for sharing your letter with us. She is such a beautiful girl that I just know is happily playing at the Bridge and waiting for you.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Blair, that last photo started the water works here. It's terrible, the wrenching grief that takes so long to dull. Even Luke feels it, poor boy. Your overwhelming sorrow will abate somewhat in the months to come, but you'll always get caught unaware by a snatch of memory that will still bring you to tears. I am so sorry.....


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## Maxs Mom (Mar 22, 2008)

Blair, I am so sorry for your loss. They touch us so deeply in ways no one can understand. Heidi loves you too, and will watch over you as your guardian angel. 

Many hugs!


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## Kelbys'Dad (Jan 19, 2009)

A very nice letter Blair. Many of us understand how you feel. The pain, the worry, the frantic searching for answers, ....and of course the tears. Even as we are consumed with all of these draining emotions .....none of us would ever consider going through life without our beautiful Goldens gracing our lives.

Here's to hoping Heidi and Kelby are sharing a good stick and giving butt blocks to all their new friends.:--heart:
Hugs from all.


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## arcane (Sep 18, 2007)

Blair 
I am sobbing as I read your beautiful letter to Heidi. She is with you, You are the best doggie mom. Her final pics are just priceless, she was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing her with us. Hugs to you.


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## rictic (Feb 16, 2009)

hi blair, hugs heidi.

had to pm you hun, that was so touching.


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## Hudson (May 18, 2005)

Blair, what a precious letter from you to Heidi. That sweet sweet face, your have bought the tears rolling here. Your sweet angel knows that you both fought so very hard for her and she will be waiting at the Bridge with our lost angels also. Hugs to you and your doggies. Thinking of you.


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

I'm so sorry Blair. What a beautiful letter to a beautiful girl. (((Hugs)))


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

Blair,

That was just beautiful. Her pictures are priceless. I am glad that you shared this with us.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Blair, Sorry it took me so long to read your letter to Heidi and write here but you know I was thinking of you and Heidi all day. 

Your letter was beautiful and so from the heart and soul. Heidi knows how hard you tried to save her from leaving and how much you love her!!!

Love ya sweetie.


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## honeysmum (Dec 4, 2007)

Blair,thank you for sharing your truly moving tribute to Heidi, we know hard you fought to keep her with you,but you loved her so much that you knew to let her go.
My thoughts are with you.


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## KiwiD (Jan 14, 2008)

Blair, your beautiful letter to Heidi tugged at my heart and then I saw the pictures (particularly the first one) and the waterworks started.

She knows you did everything you could to try and keep her with you. I'm sorry your time with her was so brief but she left a permanent imprint in your heart where she will always remain.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I've been avoiding reading this because of course I knew I would cry.
Heidi was a beautiful and special girl. She looks so sweet in her pictures. Even the last ones.
Blair, I know and Heidi knows you did everything possible for her. It just wan't meant to be. I sure do wish you two could have had many more years together. You had a special bond and it shows in Heidi's eyes.
On that note - How's Luke? I hope he is doing fantastic.


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## lindalou (Apr 7, 2009)

What a beautiful Girl! She was so lucky to have someone like you to love her. They are such special souls. Even through the pain, they smile.

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html


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## Romeo1 (Apr 19, 2008)

What a beautiful, heartfelt letter. I am sorry for your tragic loss. She looks as sweet as your letter reads so you two must have been made for each other.


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

a great love letter to a great dog. Hugs and kisses to you and Heidi


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Blair*

Blair:

What a beautiful letter to a beautiful girl, Heidi.


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## LifeOfRiley (Nov 2, 2007)

That was beautiful, Blair.
Just look at the smile on her face. She knew, without a doubt, how much she was loved.


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## Lady Di (Feb 22, 2008)

Blair, That has to be one of the sweetest letters I've ever read. Beautifully written Blair.


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## Miss Happy (Dec 22, 2007)

I know she meant a lot to you. No words can heal your pain but good memories will bring joy to your heart. Beautiful written letter and thank you for sharing her pictures.


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