# Frustrating 13 month old



## eskiath (Oct 9, 2013)

Hi,

I have a 13 month old golden retriever called Misty who has some really frustrating behavioural problems that I really need help with because she is causing a great deal of stress.

First of all, ever since we've had her she has rarely ever eaten all of her food. She picks at it throughout the evening/morning until it's all gone. So, about 2 weeks ago I started giving her her food 20 minutes after getting home from a walk, and then moving it 15 minutes after if she left any. Before this, we were just giving her an evening meal, so now I give her dry food in the morning and wet food/leftover dry food in the evening. At the start she ate all of her food, but she had some really bad diarrhea problems for a few days so we didnt give her breakfast one day and then she went back to normal. After that, we tried to give her breakfast again and she barely ate any of it, and about half of her dinner, and this is still ongoing.

Another problem we have is that recently, since around july, she has started barking constantly at around 8pm and then jumping up at us whilst we're sat on the sofa and just generally being annoying. To combat this we put her in the hall and then let her out a little bit later only to have her start again. This has now gotten a lot worse and she spends more time in the hall than out of it. At one point we tried just flat out ignoring her whilst she was barking which seemed to work once or twice but unfortunately, no one except me seems to be patient enough to continue ignoring her so they end up shouting/getting stressed and she ends up in the hall again. This is the biggest cause of stress at the moment, especially when she starts barking as soon as someone goes downstairs in the morning and she wants to go for a walk.

Concerning walks, when I put her collar on in the morning she fights me and rolls on her back and lightly bites on my hand whilst I put it on, then as soon as it's on she quickly stands up and sits in position for her lead. When I try to put her lead on, her mouth slowly turns into that bite face depending on the distance of my hand from her face. As soon as I try to reach for her collar to put her lead on, her head snaps around and she tries to bite me. To combat this I just pull back when she does that and keep trying until she doesn't try to bite me, unfortunately if I just stand there without trying, she goes into another barking episode. When we're on walks she tends to walk pretty good next to me on her lead, but when we get to the field I have to put her on a long lead because otherwise she just bolts to another person as soon as she sees them. She seems to be more interested in people than dogs. Near the end of the walk, she sometimes starts jumping up at me and, recently, playing tug of war with her long lead still on. I tried just ignoring this and kept walking which worked for a while and she stopped doing it, but now when she plays tug of war, I can't really ignore her and keep walking because she's pulling on the lead and it's like I'm playing with her. Now whether she does that last bit or not, usually once we get to the point where I swap her long lead for her normal lead, she goes absolutely mad and bites me really hard. I usually just stand there and keep a hold on her lead whilst I wait for her to calm down and don't switch her leads until she is calmly sitting which does work but it's painful. It also doesn't seem to matter how far we walk or how much I play with her on the walk, she'll do it whenever but it seems to happen more often if she see's someone that I don't let her run to near the end of the walk.

Sometimes when it's wet, I obviously have to dry her when we get back and before she can go inside. This is a nightmare, she snarls and bites sometimes really hard whilst I try to dry her feet/back/anywhere. It's an absolute pain. 

And lastly, whenever we have visitors she completely loses control. We have to grab her whenever someone comes to the door otherwise she'll run out, and it's horrible holding onto her because she strains and sounds like she's choking.

If anyone can please help me with any of this that would be much appreciated as I am absolutely fed up with this behaviour at the moment and I have no idea what to do.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Have you taken her to obedience classes? Sounds like she is just being a dog without manners. Taking classes with her will teach you how to handle these situations. It takes time and practice but you can have a well-mannered girl who makes you proud.

As far as the eating goes, Our Penny was free-fed until she was about 6. She liked to do most of her eating during the night. We put her day's ration in the bowl and let her decide how much to eat at any one time.


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## eskiath (Oct 9, 2013)

Thanks, we considered obedience classes once but I'm really not a people person and I can't stand group situations but if that is my only choice then I guess I will try it.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

I second Penny's mom suggestion.
Olliver is 7 months old, on his third round of obedience classes and we have covered most of behaviors you have described.
I don't know about the food, mine is a vacuum. But maybe she doesn't like the taste.
I know many here disagree with me, but I have no hesitation in spicing up Ollie's food dish with a little diced chicken or some gravy or beans, etc. He wolfs it down.

Olliver has two main rascally times of the day: first thing in a.m. and last part of day. He is always in the face at these times, so we try to preempt with exercise. We go for walk or ball throw in morning before breakfast and the same at night. Chills that demand barking right out.
I am not sure if u r home during the day, but if you both work out of home, pup may be needing some undivided attention/exercise.
I find exercise cures most ills.

Collar: Olliver did this to me a few times, not the biting, but the refusal to put collar on. After two tries, I left him standing at the door and walked out. When I tried again he was compliant. Once in awhile he is balky like this, but when he figures that he either does collar and goes, or stays alone, he chooses the latter. Biting not allowed at all.

The towel. One of the first lessons in dog obedience was teaching your dog to allow hands on he or she with no biting or balking. This also applies to collar being put on.

The basic was positive reinforcement obedience works, is you teach a dog good behavior by rewarding. So, with case of towel: Have dog sit, treat. Pet dog slowly, reward, pick up dogs paws one at time, reward. On and on. The dog associates good behavior with rewards. By the time you practice each step, the dog should be able to sit and do what u want.

So, I would definitely contact a good school and attend some basic obedience classes. Goldens are very smart and your pup will catch on quickly and your life with her will be so much better.
My Olliver is a very smart, sweet lovely pup. But he can be a bit stubborn, sassy and has high energy level. I cannot tell you how many obedience lessons I put to use to curb some of his undesirable behaviors.

Good luck!


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## USAFWife74 (Jan 13, 2013)

You've gotten great tips and advice! A 13 month old is a spoiled teenager! Lol. It's their adolescence. 

A lot of dogs get ramped up in the evenings. How much exercise does she get?


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

It doesn't sound like this puppy is getting near enough attention or training. It's not about you being a people person, it's about the fact that you have a dog who is a people magnet - Goldens attract people like flowers attract bees. If you want a well behaved dog, you have to put in the time to train her, and you need to get into classes and do the work. You can't just go to class and expect it to fix everything, you need to do the work at home too.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

The socializing aspect of classes is SO GOOD for the dog, even if you are a bit uncomfortable.

If you prefer to get a start at home, check out some videos that demonstrate how to train your dog. Do make sure you get only positive reinforcement training videos. Any program that uses physical punishment, whether by leash, collar or using your hands, is not for Golden Retrievers. 

There also some good books out there. Hopefully somebody will chime in with suggestions. I haven't used any personally...I loved going to the classes and meeting the other dogs and doggie parents.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

eskiath said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have a 13 month old golden retriever called Misty who has some really frustrating behavioural problems that I really need help with because she is causing a great deal of stress.
> 
> ...





eskiath said:


> Thanks, we considered obedience classes once but I'm really not a people person and I can't stand group situations but if that is my only choice then I guess I will try it.


Hello! I have a 13 month old too. We've faced many of the issues you are having. Our puppy has been on house arrest for 7 months due to some health issues, and so many of these problems are from a lack of exercise. 

Regarding the food: How much are you feeding her? Perhaps it's too much. Bear gets 1 cup of Pro Plan twice a day and most of the time he gobbles it up. If he doesn't, after 20 minutes the food is removed and we give the same servicing (1 cup) the next time to see if he is hungrier then. If it's becoming a constant problem, you can try topping it with things, or you can try switching to a different food b/c maybe she doesn't like the taste. 

Regarding the barking: all the dogs in my neighborhood seem to start barking at 8 pm. Bear will hear them when the doors and windows are open and will start barking too. Could she be hearing noises that trigger her bark? The other times Bear will bark is when he feels he is being teased or ignored. Since he had double knee surgery, we can't play yet. So when he wants to play but I cannot let him, he'll bark and grab my hand. I redirect him to a chew toy that he can unleash some of his energy on. Antler work wonders. As his owner, it is my job to make sure Bear understands when it is appropriate and when it is inappropriate to bark (or behave certain ways for that matter). If he's wound up and won't quiet down, I will tell him to "hush" or "quiet!" and as soon as he is quiet for 5 seconds, he gets a treat. You keep that up until she is quiet most of the time, and then lengthen the time between treats. But ONLY treat after she's been quiet for AT LEAST 5 seconds. Otherwise she might think she's being rewarded for barking. Since she's staying the hall all this time, chances are she is lonely. You need to have her in the room with you and pay attention to you. Dog, especially Goldens, need human interaction. 

Regarding fighting the collar: Bear still does this. He doesn't like things that go over his head. So we hold a treat on the other side of the open loop of the collar. He puts his head through the collar and he gets the treat. The collar is on. Win-Win. 

Regarding biting the leash: Try a chain leash, or one that has chain on the bottom half. Most dogs don't like the feel of chain in their mouth and will stop biting. Obviously ignoring the problem is not solving anything. Redirection is the key. When she starts biting the leash, ask for a sit. Chances are she will drop the leash to obey the command. Than praise and reward the good behavior. 

Regarding pulling on walks: Welcome to the club! Loose leash walking is something a majority of pet owners have trouble with. It takes patience, consistency and repetition to train loose leash walking. We utilize a variety of training methods in our walks with Bear. 1) We use a gentle leader, which is a face halter that gives me greater control over his head, and ultimately over his body. It's very similar to a horse halter. 2) we carry treats on all of our walks and I hold a treat in my hand at my side. If he wants the treat he has to walk at my side. The same concept is used but with a ladle covered in peanut butter.  3) When he pulls. I stop. He has to come to a "front" which means he has to come back to my right side and wait for me to continue. 4) If he is pulling repetitively, we play a game called "Where's mommy going?" which is where I change direction constantly to make sure he is watching me and doesn't get ahead because he can no longer predict where I am going. It's a great game to play. We even do it in the house to practice heels. 

Regarding the snarls and bites when you are toweling her off: Bear does this, and to us it is endearing. He loves playing with the towel and the after bath rub down is his favorite activity. As long as he isn't biting hard (yay for soft mouth) or is playing with the towel, to us, what's the harm? He gets dried and we're both laughing by the end. If you want her to be calm when you're toweling her off, you need to reward her for being calm. She doesn't understand what you want. Start with your hand. And pet her. Reward for calm behavior. Then once she has that down pat, introduce the towel. Dogs don't generalize, so being calm with the hand doesn't equal being calm with the towel, so you start the process over again, but since she understands being calm with the hand, hopefully the towel won't take as long to get. 

Regarding Excessive Greeting Disorder: Welcome to the club! We crate Bear in the living room when guests first come over and then we let him out on a leash and immediately do commands to redirect his attention. The newness of the guests where off and his brain is snapped back into calm mode, then he is allowed to greet the guests. After he says hi, he is commanded to lay down (either at their feet or on his bed), and he gets treats as long as he is quiet and calm. 

Regarding group classes: I'm not a people person and we didn't interact with almost anyone at our puppy class. You're there to listen to the instructor and to work on your dog. The classes are not designed like ballet class, where the dogs go with the instructor and the parents have to sit together and make small talk. I highly recommend you work with your dog. She needs formal obedience training and more exercise than she is currently getting.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Ask anyone on here about Tayla, my demon seed puppy. All your issues stem from obedience or the lack thereof, lack of exercise and just a bratty puppy. I'm not a big people person either, but you need to either have been through training classes in the past so you know what you are doing or find a small group or private lessons. Watch videos from Dogmantics Dog Training | Progressive Reinforcement Dog Training. They have some great stuff. Exercise more and train more. Tayla used to be terrible about putting on her collar and leash. She must sit and stay for each. First you train a reliable sit and stay then work it with the collar and leash. Tayla has to sit and stay until released for each meal. Sometimes for the morning meal I'm sleepy and I forget and when I start to walk away she is sitting there, waiting. Every free minute of every day can be a training opportunity if you know what you are training for. Walks of at least 45 minutes a day are a must at that age. Instead of locking her away when she is being really annoying plan ahead. I always freeze food in a Kong for Tayla so she has something to keep her occupied in the evening. A full Kong with part of her dinner in it will last about an hour. You can freeze almost anything in a Kong. It is a wonderful pacifier. As they age they do get better, but not without a lot of time and effort. If you put it in you will get an incredible dog in the end. WE are reaping the benefits of all MY efforts.


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## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

Brave said:


> Regarding group classes: I'm not a people person and we didn't interact with almost anyone at our puppy class. You're there to listen to the instructor and to work on your dog. The classes are not designed like ballet class, where the dogs go with the instructor and the parents have to sit together and make small talk. I highly recommend you work with your dog. She needs formal obedience training and more exercise than she is currently getting.


Yes...This!!

Training classes were my time with my dog. It was not interactive in the sense that you had to interact with other humans, so much as an instructor teaching you how to interact with your dog for best results. I traded a few comments with other owners, but overall, the entire time was spent either listening to the instructor or working one on one with your dog.

The other thing I wanted to mention, is that it sounds as if you are starting to get frustrated and stressed out. Dogs can easily sense this in their people and feed off it, so that it becomes a self-perpetuating problem. You need to break the cycle of stress, and having an impassive third party like a class instructor could really help with this.


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## robinrd (Oct 30, 2012)

Oh my goodness this sounds so much like Tucker. VERY frustrating. I did take him to obedience classes and they taught me how to use an e collar, it was a private class and then we moved on to class with other dogs and worked with distractions. He is now 15 months and still has moments but its much better. I feel your frustration but I would go to obedience classes.


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## Hina (May 31, 2013)

Training classes will really help! I'm a first time dog owner and we started taking our puppy to puppy obedience with our local training club. As for being in a group, I found it to be very positive. Our girl Hina gets to socialize with other dogs, and I get feedback from trainers and support from other students.

Praise helps a lot when they do good things. I praise and give some treats for good behavior. Someone on this forum once said something to this effect, "you have to praise a golden like you are throwing a party and your neighbor thinks you're nuts".


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## eskiath (Oct 9, 2013)

Thank you all for all the advice... However, I do walk her for around 45 minutes~1 hour+ twice every day. I try not to overdo the excersize though because I was told that before she's 15 months old, her hips are still developing and they could become damaged if I excersize her too much, so if she runs across 2 large fields to get to someone then I walk her home after that even if we've not been out very long.



laprincessa said:


> It doesn't sound like this puppy is getting near enough attention or training. It's not about you being a people person, it's about the fact that you have a dog who is a people magnet - Goldens attract people like flowers attract bees. If you want a well behaved dog, you have to put in the time to train her, and you need to get into classes and do the work. You can't just go to class and expect it to fix everything, you need to do the work at home too.



I don't appreciate this. She gets loads of attention and playtime, and I don't expect classes to fix everything as I have no idea what to expect from the classes, I'm going because they were recommended by everybody. I also work hard with her every chance I get and it's part of the reason I am here asking for advice because I have no more ideas.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

eskiath said:


> Thank you all for all the advice... However, I do walk her for around 45 minutes~1 hour+ twice every day. I try not to overdo the exercise though because I was told that before she's 15 months old, her thighs are still developing and they could become damaged if I exercise her too much, so if she runs across 2 large fields to get to someone then I walk her home after that even if we've not been out very long.
> 
> I don't appreciate this. She gets loads of attention and playtime, and I don't expect classes to fix everything as I have no idea what to expect from the classes, I'm going because they were recommended by everybody. I also work hard with her every chance I get and it's part of the reason I am here asking for advice because I have no more ideas.


Respectfully, the context in which LAPrincessa responded was from your OP where you state, "she spends the majority of the day in the hall." If an animal is spending a majority of their time alone, that means she isn't getting a lot of attention or playtime. 

Thank you for clarifying how much excercise she gets. You are correct that a 13 (or 15) month old puppy is still growing, and their growth plates won't close until around 18 months old. However, there are other forms of exercise than walking. I know that before Bear had his surgery, we would go for an hour long walk and it wouldn't even dent his energy levels. We would supplement walks with fetch, tug, training, mind games, and lots of chewies so he had things to do when we weren't doing things with him. Ya know? Antlers, really are a god send for us. 

I still think she needs more exercise. Maybe not walks. But more ways for her to let out the pent up energy. Can you schedule a puppy playdate? The dogs get to wrestle and you get to relax.  Also, swimming is great or walking/running on the beach. The sand provides more cushion so it's easier on their joints. There are a million and one things you can do with a dog. I love how versatile they are. Maybe if you could share more about your day and interests, we could find something that would interest you?


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## Heather C. (Sep 25, 2013)

I agree, get the dog some training and you will both be happier. My husband and I took a 70 lb very strong 1 year old pitbull/pointer mix with us when we left college and got married. Until then the dog had lived at my husband's frat house (since about 6 months old) and was very friendly but completely untrained. He jumped up on people, jumped over furniture, he was a disaster on jogs (he would pull me into trees after squirrels and the walk in front of me and I would trip on him, etc.). He barked at the mailman, escaped the bathtub, and it took two of us to even attempt to clip his nails. I told hubby if dog and I were going to live together, dog needed training. We signed up for basic obedience and went on from there. With our dog we used a combo of treats and a volhard style training collar, he was so strong and pain insensitive (and older, like your dog, not a young pup), he needed some corrections for bad behavior as well as rewards for good behavior. Fast forward a year or so and he became a Canine Good Citizen and a wonderful companion. He lived to almost 14, and everyone who met him loved him. Nature hates a vacuum so your dog will learn things regardless; training will teach him what you want him to learn. Good luck!

Heather


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## dkcaylor94 (Aug 19, 2013)

My girl is almost 6 months old and seems to be testing her boundaries a lot these days. Just be very consistent! I have started taking her to farm areas and large fields where she can just run and chase butterflies! Its been great and she a happy happy happy! Which makes me happy! Good luck
Def enroll in some classes too!


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Brave said:


> ... you state, "she spends the majority of the day in the hall." If an animal is spending a majority of their time alone, that means she isn't getting a lot of attention or playtime.
> 
> Thank you for clarifying how much excercise she gets. You are correct that a 13 (or 15) month old puppy is still growing, and their growth plates won't close until around 18 months old. However, there are other forms of exercise than walking. I know that before Bear had his surgery, we would go for an hour long walk and it wouldn't even dent his energy levels. ...
> I still think she needs more exercise. Maybe not walks. But more ways for her to let out the pent up energy. Can you schedule a puppy playdate? The dogs get to wrestle and you get to relax.  Also, swimming is great or walking/running on the beach. ...


These comments from Brave are spot on. Hardly anyone wants to hear this, but a healthy, young dog/puppy who is sleeping hours with you at night and then resting or snoozing another 8 hours during the day while we are working or out running errands is simply not getting the exercise and mental stimulation they need to behave with restraint and self control. 

Puppy playdates are an excellent idea. Only 20 or 30 minutes of wrestling will take some of the edge off. Long walks are wonderful and interesting if you go on new adventures but they are not aerobic exercise. A well known dog trainer says it's the same idea that a mile long walk around the block is great to tire out your grandmother but it will barely scratch the surface of the exercise an athletic teenager needs to get a workout. Your dog is the same way. Those walks will be perfect when she's 10 but right now, she needs much more aerobic exercise.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Also, don't discount mental exercise for tiring out a dog. Training in many different areas work the mind and will help take the edge off.


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## quilter (Sep 12, 2011)

Some of this is familiar to me.  

*Evening barking*. It’s common for them to get wound up before then settle for the night. Casper, even at two, has an active phase in the evening. Ignoring is the correct thing, but the dog will escalate the behavior when you first start ignoring it. You have to get through that period. We went through this with Casper last winter. We didn’t lock him away or anything, we just ignored all his antics. It took a week or two, but then it was smooth sailing. I’ve noticed in the last couple of weeks he’s starting up again. So far, it’s not over the top, but I don’t like him deciding when playtime happens. I need to get on top of this and play with him before he asks and then ignore his demands.

*Fighting the collar*. These mouthy dogs think hands around the eyes are birds that have to be caught. J It also sounds like she’s either a little head shy, or she’s decided this collar/leash thing is a wonderful game. Start working on a good Sit-Stay and then put the collar on when she’s in a Sit-Stay. Do this as a completely separate activity from going on walks for now. When she’s good at it, then ask for it when you really are going on a walk. 

*People vs. Dogs*. Casper likes people more than dogs. We keep him on leash around people. In the past, he would get so excited about people and dogs going by that he would start jumping on us. He’s mostly outgrown this with training. I used to ask him to sit quietly (back to that Sit-Stay training) until people were well past and I could tell he had relaxed (you can tell by watching their ears, eyes, and mouth). Now I keep him moving. For really distracting dogs (the ones that are like he used to be J), I lure him by with a treat. The goal is that he doesn’t get to practice the excited behavior.

*Drying*. We made the mistake of thinking it was oh so cute when he fought with the towel when he was a 10-week-old puppy. I love Calm=Release (http://mysmartpuppy.com/my-smart-puppy-games-and-exercises/calm-release). Now I put the towel across my legs and then tell him to sit and he sits right into the towel. Then I calmly dry him. No buffing, no rubbing the head. I start with hugging him, drying his back and sides. Then I pick up each leg calmly and dry them. It’s all very calm.

*Visitors*. Gate her in another room and wait until she calms down. Now, sometimes they won’t calm down until they get to visit. So visit across the gate, but only if she’s sitting. They learn really quickly – stand up and the person backs up, sit and the person approaches.

*Dog school*. I know a lot of people recommend dog school. I do, too, but it’s rare the dog school that works on the things listed in your post. Or, at least they don’t tell you how to apply those exercises to the problems you have at home. You are looking for puppy manners or dog manners classes, not obedience classes. If you want to start working at home on your own, check out My Smart Puppy. Also check out http://www.dogdaysnw.com/doc/bemod_relax.html for an easy-to-follow Sit-Stay training plan.

*Exercise*. Of course, exercise is important. Personally, I’ve found exercise cuts down on the overall activity level at home, and maybe destruction due to boredom (Casper is zero destructive). But I’ve never seen it fixing overexcitement around dogs and people. And a really exhausted dog has less capacity to control himself. You have to figure out the right mix for your puppy.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

Most of these concerns sound like typical teenage behaviors. Goldens are slow to mature and at 13 months can still be very puppy-like. I know what you're feeling, but they do grow up with time.



eskiath said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have a 13 month old golden retriever called Misty who has some really frustrating behavioural problems that I really need help with because she is causing a great deal of stress.
> 
> ...


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