# Am I going Crazy??



## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

Everyone grieves differently, sounds like he's not ready....I too cannot imagine life without a Golden in it. I hope you get your wish!


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I believe the best way to heal a broken heart is to bring another pet into the home. I always thought that I still had so much love to still give.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Hi, I'm very sorry for the loss of your Maggie Mae, I know the pain, the loss, the emptiness that goes along with it all too well unfortunately. I know what you and your husband are going through, everyone grieves differently, at their own pace and everyone heals differently. 

We had to say good bye to our Old Gold 1.5 years ago at the age of 15.5, my husband was devastated as was I, but him even more so, because our Old Guy was his best buddy. We have a golden girl named Roxy also who was a former puppy mill momma that I adopted through one of the NC GR Rescues. She will always need to be with another dog, she was starting to withdraw, was depressed and grieving after our old guy went. Two weeks later I found a young golden male at my County Humane Society and adopted him. Neither of us were ready for him, but my girl needed to be with another dog as soon as possible. He helped her and I heal, while my husband was still struggling with the loss of his boy. It took my husband many months before he was able to let himself get close to this new boy but he eventually did. 

Getting this new boy helped me tremendously, while my husband struggled with his feelings. I hope with time things will work out so you can get another pup or dog to share your life with. 

My husband and I both have always had dogs in our lives as children and as adults. Our house was so quiet and empty after we said goodbye to our Old guy. Our new boy brought lots of joy and love back into it. He'll never take Taz's place, but he sure helped heal our hearts.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

I have had 4 goldens. It's just me so I can do as I please, but everyone is different and your husband may need more time than you. Have you thought of a rescue? My first and the dog I have now were rescues. It might be a way to justify another dog if you present the idea as giving a chance to another dog knowing more than likely you will be saying good-bye again. My current golden has cancer and probably not much more than 6 months to live. He is only 8.5 and I've only had him 5 years. I'm 62 and I had expected to have him longer. As much as I fear the day he is gone, I fear also what life without a golden would be like. Good luck and I hope he sees things differently.


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## Bentleysmom (Aug 11, 2012)

When we lost our 1st GR my husband said we would never, ever have another dog because it's too hard to lose them plus he'd never be able to love another dog the same way again.
I couldn't stand how empty the house was but I knew he had to deal with his grief in his own way. He would get angry if I even brought up the subject of another dog.
This went on for an entire year. Finally I told him that I was sorry he felt that way but I refuse to live another day without a dog and if he couldn't love it that would be his problem.
I got another GR and within minutes they were inseparable. He was able to love another dog just as much, he just didn't know it. We've never been without a dog since then.
I'm not advocating this for you, just explaining what I did.
Good luck. I do know how empty a house feels without a dog ♥


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

Like others have said, everybody has their own way of grieving and works through it at a different pace. Some friends lost their dog and the husband said they'd never have another because he wouldn't go through the pain of losing a dog again. But within a year they had found another. So hoping it works out for you also. Sorry for your loss of Maggie Mae.


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## az_melanie (Aug 5, 2012)

first of all, so sorry to hear about the loss of your wonderful Maggie Mae . Losing a pet is SO hard! Secondly, you are not going crazy! You are ready to add another golden to the family so are doing the research, looking, looking, looking and he's just not ready. I am sure he'll come around eventually. I'd give him a little more time for sure. But, I am hoping that soon, he'll be able to open his heart to another beloved pup. Keep us posted!


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

A Dog's Last Will and Testament- Sorry can't get it to attach

http://fortheloveofthedogblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/will-FTLTD.jpg


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## Wagners Mom2 (Mar 20, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss. It's so incredibly hard, but like you, I can't imagine my life without a dog in it. I hope your husband comes around soon--but I do understand we all grieve in our own ways.

Maybe fostering would be a good way to get your foot in the door. Rescues always need fosters--you would be helping a golden in need--and if you fall in love, you can become a failed foster. Perhaps that is something your husband would compromise on as he continues to heal? 

All my best...please keep us posted.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Barbartk*

BARBARTK

I am so very sorry for your loss and I sympathize so much with you.
What if you volunteer to foster a Golden Ret. for the Golden Ret. Rescue nearest you and then with any luck your hubby will fall in love with the foster, too.

National Rescue Committee of the Golden Retriever Club of America


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## Wendi (Jul 2, 2012)

I am sorry for your loss. I agree everyone grieves differently and everyone needs to heal and people do that differently.

I like you, wanted a new friend, my husband, like yours, didn't, until I asked him what made his feelings more important than mine. He still didn't think the time was right, but I looked anyway. 

He was sad, I was crying constantly. He went to work and had distraction, I was home knowing she was gone every minute of every day. The day after she passed he put all her things away and I was angry because I wasn't ready to let her go, but I thought it was what he wanted, but in reality he thought it would be easier for me not see her "stuff." I am tearing up typing this.

Anyway, we went to LOOK at puppies and HE picked out our new little girl Roxxi. 

It's been five months that you have been being considerate of his feelings maybe it is time to ask him when he is going to be considerate of yours. I know this sounds harsh but there are two of you and both of you will need to give some.

He tried at first to keep his distance but you know goldens, puppies really, who can resist them when they are pushing love at you, no one! She isn't Jorgee thats for sure, but she has her own spot in our hearts. We still talk about Jorgee all the time and we remember how easy life was with her and how much work Roxxi is, but we know life will get easier with Roxxi too. 

Good luck with your search and husband.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I'm so sorry he's not ready yet. It is definitely different for everyone. Give him time and maybe he'll be able to consider it in a while.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So sorry for your loss of Maggie Mae, and no you are not going through a weird grieving process nor are you nuts.

Everyone deals with loss in different ways, and that has to be respected, but it is possible that your husband may feel that by looking for another pup or adult dog he is being disrespectful to Maggie Mae's memory. By letting another dog into your lives whether as a rescue or a pup or an adult does not mean that you are replacing Maggie Mae - that does not happen, she will always keep that special place in your hearts and a new dog would find it's own place.

Personally letting a new pup into our lives after losing our other dogs has been a life saver for me - they make you get up and go out and give a reason for having to get up in the mornings.

I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk about your loss of Maggie Mae, cry/grieve together and talk about how you both feel. Owning a pet of any kind is a commitment that you both need to be happy with for it to work out.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

When our Maggie went to the Bridge in 2009 DH said "no more dogs". But before I could change his mind, our daughter/fiance/granddaughter went out and put a deposit on a puppy for my upcoming birthday. They were a little worried about what DH's reaction would be but he really did take to Hank and they're best buddies.

Anyone that could help you out with a "gift'? I would have eventually talked DH into it '-)


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## vleffingwell (Jan 12, 2011)

My hubby said 'we don't need another puppy' but I found one, brought it home and he can't resist falling in love again with her! Sometimes the heartbreak makes us resistant but really, love is to be shared, not held back. If I didn't get that puppy, who knows where it would end up (I tell hubby that!) Not that the wonderful breeder would allow it but we like to think we 'saved' our babies from the unknown!!


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## Capt Jack (Dec 29, 2011)

I'm sorry for your loss I know how hard it can be.When our Chow/husky went to the bridge after 17 years of being my wifes heart dog she too said never again.then 1 year later we lost our huggable boy Sailor(yellow lab 15) & I was lost without a dog in my life.I love my wife very much so I waited 2 long years before I tried to find a pup.It was a hard time & my wife knew it & gave in & I found Jack on CL.He'll come around & I pray you don't have to wait as long as I did.I'd say if your nuts your in good company here on GRF


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## Tailer'sFolks (Feb 27, 2007)

Sorry for your loss of Maggie Mae...

When we lost Elliot, it took 3.5 years...Hubby said one day, "Are we gonna just talk about a darn dog or are we gonna get another one?" 24 hour later we picked up Tailer!! My only regret was not knowing enough about breeders...Tailer was one on 21 puppies same Stud, 2 Bitches...both litters were born within 3 days of each other...Tailer does have health issues...hypothyroidism & seizures...but we still are glad we got him. Next pup may be a mut of mixed, unknown linage...

I like the suggestion of volunteering at a GR rescue or Fostering...Good luck! I say Go For It!  I probably won't wait 3.5 years again for a fur baby...


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## barbartk (Sep 14, 2012)

Thank you for all the kind works and suggestions. Nothing has changed with him however i did tell him yesterday about how i feel obsessed with looking at golden pictures. I think he finally sees that i am suffering only differently. He has been going to a therapist so in am hoping he may eventually come around.As for me I continue to look and h ope someday he can open his heart again. I have to say that i never thought i would grieve as much as i have an continue to. It is one of the hardest thing i have ever had to do.


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## megkate (Feb 7, 2012)

First of all, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sweet Maggie Mae!
I know how terribly hard it is to lose our Golden loves. Four years ago, when our old gold Jasper was starting to falter, my husband and daughter surprised me with a new golden pup after I was gone for the weekend. Who doesn't love a golden pup? Well, I didn't.... because Jasper was "my boy" and I didn't want to share my love with another. It didn't take long before little Tucker won my heart as well. When Jasper went to the bridge at age 14 we were all devastated but somehow having Tucker made his loss easier to bear. 
That was just over 4 years ago and little did we know that our sweet Tucker would go to the bridge last January (he was 4). He had lymphoma, so watching him go downhill and then having to make the decision to send him to the bridge was unbearable! After just two months, I couldn't stand the empty loneliness. Our children are grown and gone and we had never been without a dog. My husband was the one to say we should start looking and I was the one who could not bear the heartbreak again, and I definitely didn't want a Golden because of the health (especially cancer) risks. To make a long story short, I now have my new little golden boy Darby laying at my feet snoring. He is the light of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. As others have said, everyone has different ways and timetables for grieving. I also think fostering would be a good way to start. Good luck....give yourself and your husband time.


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