# 1.5yo golden won't let strangers pet her



## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

Could it be that she is playing? It's hard to tell...


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

What is her body language saying? Are her ears back, flat, posture lowered, tail tucked?? If so, for whatever reason she has decided they are somewhat scary - make her nervous. If she doesn't look/seem uncomfortable then she could be just playing. You could try getting these friendly 'strangers' to offer her a treat but ask them to not try to pet her.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I think goldens go through a second fear stage when they are about a year old. That's why it's important to keep up with the dog classes until your dog is at least 2. It ensures your dog gets the necessary socialization with different people and different dogs. 

At least that's my theory.  

Or Danny had leg issues which interrupted his dog class schedule a few times when he was a puppy and then a young dog. Unfortunately, that mean he developed the same issue that your dog possibly has. He'd watch people and take a deep interest in them, but he preferred to make all of the first moves. Somebody suddenly reaching in to pet him would send him hiding behind me. 

There were times where he went rushing in with his first move - generally it was with children or people he deemed nonthreatening. Tall people (especially guys) were always threatening at first and he'd take his good time measuring them up and waiting for them to squat down to his level and hold still before he felt they were safe. 

As he got older (way older) he became a bit more even and relaxed about people approaching and touching him. Of course he developed "old eyes" (not cataracts, but similar) and couldn't see as well. So the sudden movements that always set him off before didn't faze him because he couldn't really see them.  

Be patient and make sure you keep up with the socialization. Take your dog out every week if not every other day. Just make sure_ you are in control_ of every situation and ask people to wait for your dog to make the first move. Encourage people to visit with her and talk to her. That will build her trust and confidence.


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## stuck (Jan 21, 2010)

Charliethree said:


> What is her body language saying? Are her ears back, flat, posture lowered, tail tucked?? If so, for whatever reason she has decided they are somewhat scary - make her nervous. If she doesn't look/seem uncomfortable then she could be just playing. You could try getting these friendly 'strangers' to offer her a treat but ask them to not try to pet her.


she's standing up straight. ears relaxed & not back & flat, tail wagging gently... not the superexcited high frequency wag. i would normally interpret that as her relaxed, mildly interested state.

she also doesn't cower behind me. more like running away from the other person. sometimes in a direction that actually takes her away from me. so i guess its more likely that she's just being playful. its just kind of disappointing as we once harboured hopes that she could one day be a therapy dog.

@ megora: you're right in that she seems to generally prefer making the first move. maybe i should suggest to people to let her sniff them first before reaching out. interesting point abt the dog classes, sadly we stopped bringing her for formal training after her basic obedience course when she was abt 6mths old.

any other suggestions abt how i could overcome such "undesirable" behaviour? does anybody else have a golden that does not like people patting them on the head? this could be another possible reason she skips away from those people (although she seems perfectly happy to let family pat her on the head :doh


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Is she play-bowing (front end goes lower, butt goes up?). Or is her posture very "straight" with her head high up?

Some dogs are simply reserved, and that doesn't mean she can't make a good therapy dog some day.

What I'd do (regardless of whether she's playing or nervous) is make stranger greetings very unexciting for a while. Set her up with some people that are strangers to her but that you can prep in advance. Have them approach her slowly, facing and walking sideways. Have them stop _before_ the distance that makes her jump, and have them drop a delicious treat and then hold out a hand with another treat. As they stand totally still, let her take the treat from the ground and the hand (if she will), and once she days, have them walk away and ignore her.

Show her that calmly approaching people leads to good things, and remove the elements that might be intimidating or exciting her (eye contact, smiling with teeth showing, speaking, moving quickly, trying to pet her).

If she starts taking the treat and staying next to the person, have them, without turning towards her, stroke her cheek gently before they walk away. No pats on the top of the head. Pats on the head are actually pretty intimidating in dog body language. A gentle "lick" to the cheek or jowl is much more calming and appeasing.

That kind of slow, calm interaction might rewire her reactions to strangers. Just a thought.


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## doggylove86 (Aug 26, 2010)

Another good thing to practice with "strangers" is have them give her treats! It will show her that strangers are good and not to be afraid!


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## stuck (Jan 21, 2010)

@ Tippykayak: she's not playbowing, just standing up straight with her head up high. good ideas though. will try that out!

Thanks for all the great advice people!


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## Bender (Dec 30, 2008)

I agree, get some high value treats, like dried liver, and go for walks and have people feed her. Go to busy places and sit and if anyone asks if they can pet her, hand them the treats and have them feed and spoil her. Within no time she'll be starting to mooch from 'strangers' because she's figured out they might have food for her....


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Bender said:


> I agree, get some high value treats, like dried liver, and go for walks and have people feed her. Go to busy places and sit and if anyone asks if they can pet her, hand them the treats and have them feed and spoil her. Within no time she'll be starting to mooch from 'strangers' because she's figured out they might have food for her....


I wish that worked with Danny... and we certainly tried that route.

His shyness either gave him a nervous stomach or something like that, because there was absolutely no way he'd eat in public or take food from people he distrusted. It's why training with treats never worked for him. He was a normal food hound at home, but anywhere else there was no such thing as a high value treat. :

@OP - I don't think your dog sounds that extreme. Mainly have people squat down, even give them treats to offer her. And you need to be there to quickly praise her when she goes up to them.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Our Penny does the same thing. As soon as the person reaches out to pet her, she darts away. Then she waits: she wants them to chase her and play. Once the greeting period is over (i.e. initial excitement) she goes a bit away and lays down, very contented.

She's just all about the play. Usually even with us, petting turns into playing and play biting. It's just how she is.


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