# 4 year old girl afraid of new puppy



## Smilingjustalittlebit (Nov 13, 2012)

My first thoughts actually are to start the work with Bella on her lead. Cara does tend to be calmer when she knows we can control her jumping so that's obviously a starting point.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Teach your daughter to be a tree around the puppy. She doesn't need to be the boss, I think she's way too young to be the boss of anything other than her naps and snacks.  If she ignores Bella, Bella will be bored and go find something else to play with.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I think the leash is the way to go.
It's hard to think rationally if you are scared, as your daughter seems to be, so I think asking her to calmly stand still isn't going to work. I know I could never calmly stand still with a spider on me!!!
Work with the puppy on a leash for a while in the house, at least until Cara isn't so afraid. I'd also suggest an x-pen so that the puppy can have some free time while still being contained.
You do need to work on Cara's fear, but that isn't going to be an overnight fix.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

You have a long road ahead and dare I say, a Golden puppy wouldn't have been my choice for a young child that is afraid of dogs. Golden puppies are notorious for jumping, nipping, and tackling. They are fondly called "land sharks" and don't mature for several years. It's their personality to be exuberant, physical and seek your undivided attention. Most of us here find it endearing but a cautious 4 y.o. may not. 

Our granddaughter was 4 when we got Hank (she lived here then) but wasn't afraid of dogs. It still was a challenge and we managed puppyhood with baby gates. If DGD was eating in the kitchen or having a little friend over, Hank was gated in the laundry room, if DGD was watching TV or playing in the great room, Hank was gated in the kitchen. If she was playing outdoors, we had him leashed. 

It wasn't that he was aggressive towards her but those puppy teeth are sharp and Golden puppies are big and grow fast. They are best pals now and he loves when she visits. It can be done but will need dedication on your part.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

It is going to take some time for Bella to learn how to 'behave' around children, right now the world is exciting and new and just plain all about fun. I would work at keeping Bella separate from your daughter for a while. Use baby gates or an xpen, to manage Bella, and encourage your daughter to interact with her from outside the area. Perhaps get her to feed her some treats through the gate, or xpen, or just watch. Let her watch as her big brother interacts with the pup. Sit on the floor with Bella, get her calmed down, and invite your daughter to come over and pet her. Hold Bella in your arms, and when she is calm, encourage your daughter to come visit and pet her. Let your daughter 'feed' Bella. Confine Bella, then give your daughter the dish to put on the floor, and let her move to 'safety' (perhaps sit on a chair) before releasing Bella to eat. Focus on building positive interactions between the two of them. Keep it low key, calm, and rewarding for both Bella and your daughter.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

As you have stated Cara's fear prevents her from acting in an appropriate manner. Young puppies take a long time to train to be reliable with good house manners. Cara needs to feel safe in her enviroment. At this time you need to manage the situation with having the pup on leash when around Cara and/or in an x-pen, behind a baby gate etc. 
Set up controled training sessions with both of them. Puppy on leash so you can make sure the pup doesn't jump on Cara. Have the puppy sit and reward the pup. Have Cara stand near the pup. If pup tries to jump have Cara take a step away turn her back. If Cara does this reward Cara. Do this for a minute or two at a time. As the puppy learns to sit when in close to Cara with practice keep rewarding. As Cara becomes more confident herself she can pet the pup. One pet if the pup gets up have Cara again take the step away and turn her back to the pup. (don't let the pup jump on her) Reward Cara every time for doing this right in the controled practice. Reward puppy for sitting nicely when Cara is next to her. Suggestions for the rewards for Cara could be a smartie or an m & m for each correct behavior. You want to teach the pup not to jump but you want to change how Cara feels when the pup is near her. 

When not setting up the controled training sessions please have the puppy in an x-pen, behind a gate or on a leash so that Cara can at this point feel safe in her home.

As the puppy listens to your cues for the behaviors you want you can eventually have Cara practice training the pup also under direct supervision but this would be down the road some.


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## Smilingjustalittlebit (Nov 13, 2012)

Good tips guys, thanks. The dedication is there all right. The border collie came to me with his issues with him already 7 months old. I'm determined not to make th emistakes his previous owners had made.

Not a hope in hell will I ever have to rehome another dog and have my heart broken all over again.

We'll start with the lead and nice controlled training sessions until she starts to gain some confidence. She does love the puppy, but the unpredictability of Bella is scaring her. It's only been just over a week as well, they both need time to come round.


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Just a thought, but it might help if you knew of some older mellow dogs to introduce your daughter to? Might help her overall fear of dogs?


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

You've been given some excellent advice here. I am also a mom, I have 3 girls who although they like dogs, get very upset if our dog (18 month old collie) gets the 'zoomies' or gets excited and starts barking and jumping. He doesn't jump on them but can jump very high and will bump into them. I have an idea of how hard it's going to get in your house as your puppy grows over the next several months. The rule with children in my house is absolutely no running and screaming or squealing. It kicks off the dog's prey drive big time.

Solinvictus is correct, if your puppy isn't in training mode with you right there, the puppy needs to be either leashed, behind a gate or in an Xpen so that there are never any incidents between puppy and child that you aren't in full control of. 

You might try doing a search on "puppy biting" here on this forum for ideas to get ahead of the problem of your puppy wanting to nibble on people. There are lots of good suggestions here such as placing a tiny smear of peanut butter on your hand and teaching your puppy the command "kiss". 

Are you signed up for puppy classes or do you have a trainer you'll be working with to make sure you get a rock solid obedience foundation going with your puppy? If you haven't done this, I hope you will. I wish you best of luck.


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## mudEpawz (Jan 20, 2011)

i was born and raised with dogs and I think that it is a great to grow up. When I was 3 or 4 my parents rescued a 7 month dog that was near death. His name was Sam and he had some serious issues, espcially with men. My parents refused to give up on him and made some serious adjustments at home. We already had a 5 year old, sweet tempered lab, Blue. In the hourse, Sam was only allowed in certain rooms and I had my own "safe" room in the living room which meant that no dogs were allowed in there. I dont remember much of the training techniques my dad did but it helped to know that I had a place to go if I felt overwhelmed by the 'big dogs' or frightened.

I think keeping a leash on the house is a great idea. 

I also think it will help to keep the dog with you so you can continue to train him. And for the time being I would keep your daughter and the puppy separated unless you are in the same room. 

good luck!!


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## Smilingjustalittlebit (Nov 13, 2012)

Started working with them as soon as I got home last night and Bella calmed down. I put the lead on her and had a good chat with Cara about how I was now in control and that Bella cannot jump up on her while I have her on the lead. Things were much much better, she was still quite nervous at times, but relaxed enough to ask if she could walk Bella on her lead up and down the hall. 

For the most part though, there was no running, no squealing, and she was happy enough to pet Bella when she was sitting and lying down. I spent a while after that with the lead attached to my belt loop while I was doing the usual things, washing up etc etc to keep her close to me.

Regarding the older dog post from someone above, we have another older dog already, Penny, who is the dog that ALL dogs should be bred from when it comes to temperament. Cara ADORES Penny de to her calmness and patience. I think that is actually part of the problem, it's natural for her to compare them and she expects Bella to behave the same way.


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## Smilingjustalittlebit (Nov 13, 2012)

Haven't been here for a while and thought I'd update you guys on this.

Cara and Bella are now best friends, things have settled down brilliantly. In fact the problem now is we have to scold Cara for wanting to be around Bella ALL the time, hugging and petting her!


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## Stefan (Aug 18, 2012)

That's great to hear  well done on all the work you must have done...I'm 26 and no kids or anything yet but i think it'd be so cute having little kids and a Goldie...my Goldie Ollie is only 7 months old so hopefully I will have kids in Ollie's lifetime...hopefully he'll be a bit calmer by then too lol 


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


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## Smilingjustalittlebit (Nov 13, 2012)

It was vital that she calmed down a bit as we'll have a newborn in July so it's all looking promising!

I feel sorry for the dogs sometimes, Cara kills them with kindness and we have to tell her constantly to stop hugging them!


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## mudEpawz (Jan 20, 2011)

Smilingjustalittlebit said:


> It was vital that she calmed down a bit as we'll have a newborn in July so it's all looking promising!
> 
> I feel sorry for the dogs sometimes, Cara kills them with kindness and we have to tell her constantly to stop hugging them!


Im glad to hear that everything worked out. Congrats on the new baby!


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