# I want him back... I can't stand this :'(



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

It is totally normal to feel horrible, want them back NOW, to be angry and want to scream, every emotion is normal and ok to feel. Losing them causes great grief and you have every right to be hurting. 

I am so sorry for your loss, and I sincerely hope that his memories will make you smile very soon, even if you have to smile through tears.


----------



## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

Your heart is broke, but you can't have him back, in time you will start to heal, but he will forever, be in your heart, you have al the memories, he and you shared, those that have loved a golden ,are the lucky ones.


----------



## oakleysmommy (Feb 20, 2011)

I am truly so sorry you are in this pain...it is so awful to feel so empty and so lost. Please just hold the memories think of all the love and laughter he brought you over the years and know that he is ok and that he is with so many friends right now. the hole in your heart will heal but he will always take a huge part of it...


----------



## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

Your feelings are totally normal...those of us that have been through the horrendous pain of losing our beloved Goldens can totally sympathize with you. I've been there and had the same feelings. I wasn't able to say goodbye to my Savanah when she passed, (during surgery). The vet asked if I wanted them to wake her up to say goodbye and to let her know that I loved her, but I couldn't do that to her. 

So I also know the pain of not being able to tell them one last time that they were loved. But Savanah knew she was loved and so did your Simba. My strongest feeling was also realizing I couldn't hold her again. That hurt, (actually still hurts ) was the worst out of everything I was feeling. 

It will get better, I promise...but it takes time, sometimes a lot of time. Savanah's been gone three years and there are times I feel like I did when I first lost her. But those times don't last as long as they used to and I can now think of her without crying. The pain is still too raw right now for you to be able to believe this will happen for you, but it's true. 

Hang in there and don't ever be sorry for posting any amount of times...if that's what you need to do, then do it. Please know that we're all here for you anytime you need us.


----------



## Bell (Jan 23, 2010)

It's normal,it really is.When we lose a clean,beautiful creature we love SOOO much,it's natural to be angry,denying,numb,sad,guilty,feeling like a victim.....and so on.This is one of the hardest things.I can tell you that-i lost 3(!!!)pets in an year and a half.They lived a full live,i understand-15(almost 16)14 and 13 years.But this almost killed me.I was so devastated,i couldn't sleep,couldn't eat.I was constantly in pain,hurt and afraid...I got sick,because of all the worries.Please,try not to let this happen to you.It gets a little easyer day by day,tear by tear....I never forgot them,but now i'm also able to think of them and feel a smile and strong love.I wish they were here,but they're not.But my boy Bell is. He helped me so,so much!But i gave myself time,i didn't rush,not wanting it to feel like replacing them.So,take care of yourself,stay strong and let your heart heal.
From a neighbor in Bulgaria....Hugs.


----------



## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Post as much as you need to, and please take care of yourself, too. Is there anyone there with you that you can talk to? Thinking of you.


----------



## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

Always remember he watches over you daily ~ and has never left your heart. He runs with the Rainbow Bridge Pack and is healthy as he awaits the reunion that is guaranteed in the future.


----------



## simbaece (May 31, 2011)

my family is over it... they knew it since march.. but i just arrived home from america... i was at school and they told me now  every time i talk about it my mom says " ah,, again?" .. at first she was crying with me... but after one day its like this  my family doesnt comfort me at all with this... and im 18 years old so I have to be strong.. but i was not expecting it at all. and they didnt tell me by then  so im in so much pain now that i cant put to words. i still think he is in the garden right now :'((


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I'm so very sorry for the pain and the loss of your beautiful Simba. It is so very hard to loose one that you love so much. I can't imagine how much more devastating it is to have not been able to say goodbye. What I am VERY SURE of is this, your Simba knew you loved him dearly and he took that love and all of the wonderful memories that you shared with him to the bridge. One day you will both be together again and will never again be seperated. Until then, cry as many tears and scream as much as you need to. You're in my thoughts.


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Dear, not everyone is capable of great and unconditional love. You are in the company of people who understand how difficult it is to bear the loss of a treasured love. We lost our Di on 5/21 and this forum has ben an immense place to come and express myself. Most of the people here have lost a golden child and know the pain first hand. To know a love so deep and to loose it is very hard to get thru. In time, all of the love that you shared and your memories of Simba will comfort you.


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Simbace*

Simbace

What you are going through and feeling is completely normal.
Just keep talking about it here, we all understand.
Bloat takes dogs so suddenly. My Husband and I have almost lost two dogs to bloat -luckily we were there and could rush them to emergency surgery.
Both of our dogs did not live too long after the surgery though.


----------



## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. As everyone has posted your feelings are very valid and absolutely normal. It's raw for you now, and you'll probably feel all sorts of conflicting emotions in the coming weeks. Heck, it's been exactly one year and one month since we lost our precious boy to hemangiosarcoma and I'm really missing him right now. I dreamed about him a few days ago and woke up thinking he was still here, only to realize it was a dream..making me so sad. Expressing your feelings here is a very good way to process things--and get lots of emotional support for your loss. HUGS.


----------



## Augie's Mom (Sep 28, 2007)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

You are still in shock and processing the loss, your family has had several months to process Simba's passing. Your heart will grieve and heal in its own time, be kind to yourself. 

Know there are many shoulders here for you to cry on, we all understand what you are going through and support you. (((HUGS)))


----------



## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

This is the best analogy I can think of - Remembering Sophie for right now is sort of like looking at the sun. I can't look directly at the sun because it would hurt too much. Same thing with Sophie. I can't let myself think directly of Sophie because it would hurt too much. I can glimpse for a brief moment, but then I have to look away. I'm hoping as the days go by, I can start think of her more without the pain.


----------



## oakleysmommy (Feb 20, 2011)

Sophie_Mom said:


> This is the best analogy I can think of - Remembering Sophie for right now is sort of like looking at the sun. I can't look directly at the sun because it would hurt too much. Same thing with Sophie. I can't let myself think directly of Sophie because it would hurt too much. I can glimpse for a brief moment, but then I have to look away. I'm hoping as the days go by, I can start think of her more without the pain.


 well said,painful but well said


----------



## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Please keep posting as many times as you need us. We are not over it and are here for you. There are a few of us who just lost our babies too just the past few weeks. It's a very painful process. Just remember that Simba has your love and will be waiting for you one day. I talk aloud to my two Goldens that I just lost. In the house, jogging, car or anywhere. I could care less if people think that I am crazy. It helps me. Not to mention the folks on this board.


----------



## RallySoob (May 26, 2011)

I'm sorry for your loss... I think you should get a puppy soon... They take lots of attention and the cute loving nature of a pupp will lift your spirits like nothing else. If you really are having terrible anxiety from it you could see the doc about a temp anxiety fix like valium or xanax but if you can get through it without then please do. I just hate to hear the level of grief your are dealing with. I feel for you and pray for peace in you heart


----------



## musicgirl (Jul 26, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the pain you're feeling. But it's completely normal. May 28th was 7 months since we lost our Teddy. He was our first golden, our first real family dog. To me, he was like my child. For months it was painful, I wanted him back, I couldn't imagine life without him, I'd cry every day, feel nauseous, and just sit around depressed. Finally coming home from school helped me get closure. I had a lot of guilt, still do, but I sat in the spot where he died and bawled my eyes out and told Teddy how sorry I was, how much I missed him, how much I loved him. It was a good relief.

After 7 months, its easier, but still hurts. I still miss him. But now I look back on the memories, and they're happy. I'm so thankful that we got the chance to take him in, to give him a better life, and to experience so much with him. He was like a child to me. Also as weird and morbid as it may sound, but during the hard times, I always kept a thought in my mind...that when my time came, I wouldn't fear death, I would welcome it because I would finally be reunited with my boy...

I hope your pain starts to ease soon. And I think you'll find this is a place where so many people can offer you comfort and words of wisdom...

*hugs* stay strong


----------



## KatieBlue'sMidnightSky (Feb 22, 2011)

Awww sweetie, it's perfectly normal! I was the last one in our family to stop crying and being terribly upset too. I would scream and pound the floor while wailing to God "I want her back, give me my baby back!!" (I cursed a lot too--yikes) I even walked across the street to the park where my golden-girl and I used to play, in my pajamas, kneeling down and wailing into the ground, sobbing where anybody could see. Every morning I sat out on the front porch and sobbed, not caring who saw me. I cried everywhere I went! Almost any memory or thing could set me off. I was beside myself for a looooong time. No matter what--do what is best for you, no matter what anyone else says. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. You found a very supportive group of people to help you--especially if you don't have anyone else that understands. Time, time, time....time began to slowly help. I used to think I was never-ever going to be happy again and I wondered if I would ever stop crying. I feel better today, 5 months later...I still, daily, have occasional empty sad feeling in my heart and think I might cry--but I don't cry much anymore. Hang on!


----------



## Maddie'sMom2011 (Apr 26, 2011)

We miss Lillie & Jake so much! But Maddie has given us a breath of fresh air. I still miss my babies, but Maddie has made our house a home again. She grabbed Jake's chewed up Frisbee this morning & laid on it. It was his favorite! Jake the snake was a rescue (our friend found him pancaked on a road in 2000) & Lillie - (the Skilly) was our sweet, baby girl - adopted in 2004 (a had to move & couldn't take our pets situation). Jake had such issues (epilepsy, bad, & so afraid of storms -- thank goodness he's on the bridge now & doesn't have to deal w/ that ) & Lillie was such a joy (my happy girl, god I miss her sweet, sweet face & twirling around when she was happy!).I just want to say, remember the sweet babies & don't be afraid to let your heart love again.


----------



## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

It is perfectly normal reactions that you are having - and no you don't have to be strong, you need to grieve and talk about Simba, and where better place to do it than here where so many people know and understand what you are going through. 

When I lost my first Golden I said to the vet afterwards that I would give anything to have her back, and he asked me Would I have her back because she would be in pain again, and I had to admit that no i wouldn't put her through that.

I'm sad that you were unable to say goodbye, but I don't think that you would have wanted Simba to be in pain until you got home. Try and remember the good times that you had together, and that Simba will always walk beside you on silent paws.

"HOW DO WE SAY GOODBYE
TO THE ONES WE LOVE THE MOST

WHEN IN OUR HEART OF HEARTS WE KNOW
WE NEED AND WANT THEM CLOSE

NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES REAL TIGHTLY
LET YOUR FEELINGS OVERFLOW

THEY NEVER REALLY LEFT YOU
YOUR MEMORIES NEVER GO"


----------

