# Can a Foster become to dependent



## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Can a foster dog become too dependent on their foster parent? I dont know if it is because I am home all the time or because he was more than likely dumped on the street. But Opie seems to be very clingy to me. It has gotten worse instead of better since he has been here. When he first started here, I could leave the house and he was fine. The seperation anxiety has gotten worse as time has gone on. After he was neutered it was really bad. The first time we went off, he ripped up his bed in the crate and the sheet covering the crate. And then he cries for about 30 minutes at night. And it hasnt gotten any better. 

Even for 5 minutes or if I take a shower. He rips things up, and today, he found under some books one of my condolence cards for Beau and ripped it up. How he found that one, I dont know. It is so strange. I can play on the computer and he is fine but a shower he is crazy. 

He climbs all over me every time I move away from him, like I am going to leave him forever. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if he would be moved to another foster home to have him exposed to other people and situations. He loves the boys and they love playing from the time they wake up till the time they go to bed. And even Shelby has started to play alittle with him. If you can believe it. She hates all the foster dogs. He taps her on the butt and then runs and she chases him. 

I worry that if he stays too long that he will be so attached that when it is time to go to his new home that he will have trouble adjusting to a new home. Especially since he has such abandonment issues.


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## HovawartMom (Aug 10, 2006)

Could he become a foster fail?.
Maybe you have the same feelings and he's picking on them?.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Shoot Carol. I does sound like he is locking onto you something fierce. that is quite understandable since he was in such bad shape in the beginning and you have been his guardian angel and probably spent more time with him than any other human being, but he might have a real problem with adjusting to a new family.

I hope someone more knowledgable jumps in and gives you good advice.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

No he cant become a failed foster as I have 4 dogs and 3 cats already. He is a sweetie but needs a home that can give him more one on one. When I took him to be neutered, one of the other foster moms went over there to take pictures of him for the website and she said he was really shy with her. She stayed with him for about an hour and he was the same way with her. He hung onto her and wouldnt let her go. He is very clingy with everyone he meets. The vet thinks that it all goes back to him being dumped. And him being by himself. One of the big things he has been able to do is go outside with the other dogs without me now. He doesnt want me right by his side. But I do have to stand at the door watching. 
I am working with him on sit, stay, and things like that. The biggest one is to stop him from running and jumping on my chest,when I am sitting on the couch. It hurts so bad.


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## Maggies mom (Jan 6, 2006)

Carol I have had 2 foster become to clingy and we moved him on to a different foster home, they had to readjust but did fine after a few days.


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## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

I think he needs to find his forever home ASAP. I know , easier said than done. I get many rescues that act like that, the ones that have been outside all their lives seem to be worse. They will usually do fine in their new home as long as there is lots of love and attention. Maybe you could take him through a training class to help build up his confidence??


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## Adriennelane (Feb 13, 2008)

We've had issues similar to that with Dory. She had serious separation anxiety issues when she was left completely alone. Alone with Lucy, she was fine, but we couldn't easily take Lucy somewhere but not Dory. She would pee and start tearing things up. It's gotten better as she's aged, but she's can still be quite the velcro dog at times.

We took them to get groomed Saturday, and we heard Dory crying as we left. When we arrived to pick them up, it was quiet. They brought Lucy out first, and then we heard Dory start crying again. It breaks our hearts because we know so much of it is probably due to the fact that she was dumped.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I am not saying this is you, but I have found that some foster homes are more focused on just loving their fosters and not expecting them to behave the way they would expect their own dogs to behave (some don't even expect their own dogs to behave). I think you need to set some boundaries for him. Not allowing him to demand attentions. Closing the door when you walk into another room (but turn around and come back out quickly). Maybe try to find another way of confining him. Maybe a crate is just too much for him right now. When you come home, ignore him until he settles down and don't pay attention for about 5 minutes. You can let him out of the crate, but don't talk to him or say hello. Try that for a few days. Some dogs who are socially deprived can over do it when they finally find someone who is nice. They need boundaries to help them heal.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Whoa Fostermom - you are so describing me.:doh:
Good thing I just keep my bad children once I get them.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I did test him the other day when I went to the neighbors house. Put him in the crate, he barked for about a minute then quieted down. And was quiet when I walked back in. So I walked over to the crate, opened it and walked off. Didnt say hi to him at all. Then take them outside. I do that everytime. Even if I walk out the door to get the mail, he is beating down the door to get to me. Scratching and jumping on it. 
I know some of the chewing might be because he is not quite yet a year old. But I just want to make sure he is not becoming overdependent and make it harder to find a home for him. I want the best for him because he is such a sweetie. 
I will be talking to one of the foster moms that has been doing this for years to see what she might have to say.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I would crate him every time you walk out the door, then. It sounds like he feels a bit more secure if he is crated. I think if you keep it up, he will settle down more and more.

Coppers-mom, I have a wonderful friend who fosters and she spoils her dogs and all fosters rotten. She always tells me that she wants me to come train her dogs (because she has been here with my dogs and mine are well behaved, especially compared to her dogs, LOL). She loves the dogs totally and completely, but has no idea how to integrate discipline into all the love.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Carol, I think going to a training class with him would be great. Will the rescue pay for it? Being around other people and other dogs besides yours will be good for him. He is just such a cute little baby.. I feel so bad for him that he is so needy. 
I sure hope you can work with him till he gets a forever home. He already has been traumatized enough.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I spoke to another foster mom that knows him and we talked. She knows him and knows how fast he becomes attached. And she calls him a love bug. I will keep crating him anytime I have to leave the room or home. Also I will keep taking him to petsmart and other places to work on his confidence with other people. He has met some neighbors and is doing good with them. 
And if needed we will do some more outside training. 
But if anyone has anymore ideas, keep them coming.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

My second rescue was 9 years old and very attached to his older owner. She was having to move into an apartment and couldn't keep him.

In one week, he decided that the world revolved around me. I hope Opie is the same type and will attach to whoever is lucky enough to get him for their forever friend.

Boomer still loved his original owner and we would go visit. He would be confused about which one to stick to, but his love of both was very evident.

It sounds like Opie might attach to whomever spends time with him. Is he up for adoption yet?

You do a wonderful job and give so many dogs new lives. You are fantastic.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

He is up for adoption on the website. The fostervmom that I talked to was going to look thru the adoption applications tonight that have been approved to see if there are any that might fit him. We have gotten people wanting to adopt which is great become we have been swamped with dogs coming in. As soon as they are being adopted out almost the same amount are coming in. And it seems almost all have some health issues.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*BeauShel*

BeauShel

Have you heard anything about your little shadow?

Hugs and kisses to him!


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

No has responded to his ad yet and right now he is cuddled next to me. If he was any closer, he would be laying on top of the laptop. LOL But that is fine. He is a real sweetie. I have been putting him in the crate whenever I have to go anywhere and in the shower. And this afternoon when I went to lunch with my Dad he went into the crate when I asked him to go in there with no treats.


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## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

Poor boy, thank you for helping him. Erin was 9 when we got her and she didn't have any trouble bonding with us.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*BeauShel*

BeauShel

Is Joey the foster you are talking about?


http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/showthread.php?t=67509&highlight=BeauShel+Foster


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