# Lost my Kellogg 2 days ago and I am lost



## Maryb (Jun 13, 2015)

I am new to the forum because I am trying to find answers and a way to deal with my grief. Two days ago, I lost my beautiful service dog, Kellogg and it was so sudden. He was a happy, healthy boy and had no signs at all of anything being wrong. He had his dinner, then went outside 15 minutes later for his evening walk. Came up my wheel chair ramp, sat down at the door. He twitched once and then just fell over. And before anyone could get to him he was gone. Just gone..... no signs of pain or illness no anything. He was his happy playful self just moments before. Now, I am grieving the loss of my dear boy and also struggling to function because I am without my service dog. I wish I knew why. The vet told me it was either a blood cancer that would have been undetectable or a heart problem. I just miss my guy and would do anything to have him back.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Welcome to the forum, I'm sorry you've found us under such sad circumstances.
I am so very sorry for your sudden loss of Kellogg. 

It's hard to say what may have caused it, it could be a number of things such as a Heart problem as your Vet said. 

There are a lot of us who have lost a Golden or had to help one pass, I am one of them. My heart goes out to you, I know how hard it is to lose your buddy, it hurts beyond words. 

My thoughts are with you.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

So sorry for your loss.


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## Wendy427 (Apr 4, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Kellogg. Please know that we here at GRF are here to help in any way we can.


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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss of sweet Kellogg. So terribly sad and I send you prayers for strength during this difficult time.


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## Turner4 (May 16, 2015)

Maryb said:


> I am new to the forum because I am trying to find answers and a way to deal with my grief. Two days ago, I lost my beautiful service dog, Kellogg and it was so sudden. He was a happy, healthy boy and had no signs at all of anything being wrong. He had his dinner, then went outside 15 minutes later for his evening walk. Came up my wheel chair ramp, sat down at the door. He twitched once and then just fell over. And before anyone could get to him he was gone. Just gone..... no signs of pain or illness no anything. He was his happy playful self just moments before. Now, I am grieving the loss of my dear boy and also struggling to function because I am without my service dog. I wish I knew why. The vet told me it was either a blood cancer that would have been undetectable or a heart problem. I just miss my guy and would do anything to have him back.


I almost didn't click on this post, because we lost our beloved Riley in November, and I am still grieving that loss. I am so extremely sorry to hear about Kellogg's sudden passing. My hear breaks for you especially since he was your service dog. And, I am sure that the suddenness of it is ever harder on you, because you didn't have any time to prepare.

Like the loss of any family member, it will take time. My one suggestion would be to write a letter to Kellogg. Someone made the suggestion to me when we lost Riley, and it has really been a help to get thru the grieving process. Prayers being said for you as you go thru this very difficult time.


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Kellogg. I know too well how hard it is to lose them so very suddenly with no time to prepare. 

I like you came to this forum to help me through the grief in which it did. Kellogg was your pet and service dog. How old was he?

Thinking about you at this very, very sad time.


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## LUCKYme (Mar 29, 2015)

I wish there were words that could make this easier but there aren't. I wish I could tell you I understand how you feel but I can only imagine and just thinking about it causes too much pain. My heart breaks for you. I remember reading this poem a few years back and I saved it because I knew someday I was going to need to read it. I hope it brings you a bit of comfort and I will pray that you find the peace you need. 

To my dearest friend.

I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep. 
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep. 
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear, 
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here." 
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, 
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me. 
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore. 
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more. 
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care. 
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there. 
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. 
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "it's me." 
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair. 
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there. 
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday. 
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away." 
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew... 
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you. 
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning 
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning." 
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide, 
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side. 
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. 
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.


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## Turner4 (May 16, 2015)

LUCKYme said:


> I wish there were words that could make this easier but there aren't. I wish I could tell you I understand how you feel but I can only imagine and just thinking about it causes too much pain. My heart breaks for you. I remember reading this poem a few years back and I saved it because I knew someday I was going to need to read it. I hope it brings you a bit of comfort and I will pray that you find the peace you need.
> 
> To my dearest friend.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for posting this. I read it with tears streaming down my face.


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## rabernet (Feb 24, 2015)

I am so sorry for your loss!


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## Goldylover2 (May 1, 2014)

That's how I lost my last golden "Ginger". She collapsed on the kitchen floor after we got back from the park after a 1.5 mile hike in the woods. I didn't even know she was sick. We took her to the vet emergency hospital that night but it was too late. I'm so sorry for your loss. There wasn't anything you could of done. Like your vet said, it was undetectable.


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## Maryb (Jun 13, 2015)

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. I am trying very hard to just get through the day and adjusting to the sudden loss. Kind words from people who understand are very helpful.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

I have posted elsewhere that I think this is absolutely the worst way to lose a dog, absolutely the worst. I am so, so sorry. How old was Kellogg? When you are able please post some photos and tell us a bit more about him so that we can celebrate his life with you.



LUCKYme said:


> I wish there were words that could make this easier but there aren't. I wish I could tell you I understand how you feel but I can only imagine and just thinking about it causes too much pain. My heart breaks for you. I remember reading this poem a few years back and I saved it because I knew someday I was going to need to read it. I hope it brings you a bit of comfort and I will pray that you find the peace you need.
> 
> To my dearest friend.
> 
> ...


 LUCKYme - Thank you so much for posting this. I too read it a year or so ago and have been searching for it ever since!


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## Goldens R Great (Aug 19, 2010)

I am so sorry about the sudden loss of Kellogg. That is especially hard also since he was your service dog.

My first dog passed away suddenly and I remember a friend telling me it was harder on me because it was such a shock, but it was easier for my dog since she didn't go through a prolonged issue. I guess that's one way of looking at it. Either way it is absolutely sad. 

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers during these tough days.


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## wjane (Oct 12, 2013)

I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved Kellogg. May he RIP and may you find comfort in wonderful memories of him.


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Maryb, I am so sorry you lost Kellogg so suddenly. I too lost my second golden suddenly. How old was Kellogg? My MacGyver was only 7. My vet came to my home that evening to pick up his body and I had requested a necropsy. This was about 20 years ago and I remember he talked to me and said his heart was very large, but it was not considered an enlarged heart if that makes any sense. Being more familiar with cancer in goldens, I often wonder if he was referring to hemangiosarcoma of the heart which would cause an otherwise healthy young dog to collapse and die. Allow yourself time to grieve and share stories and or pictures of your Kellogg, we're all here for you.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

I know how hard it is and how much we miss them. The pain seems to take your breath away and the heart feels broken into millions of pieces. I am so sorry for you loss.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Mary I am very sorry for your sudden loss of Kellogg.
You are among of those who understand how you feel as many of us been there. I lost my Buddy 4 years ago in May it was not sudden loss but regardless to all vet visits and tests I still don't know why. Hugs.


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## Maryb (Jun 13, 2015)

I think I figured the signature out to post a picture of my dear boy. He was 8. I had him since he was 18 months old and it seems like just yesterday.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Kellogg was beautiful, he looked like he was a very sweet and gentle soul. 

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. 
Take one day at a time, we're here for you if you need us.


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## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

I am so very sorry for your loss, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy..he looks so much like our first-ever Golden.

It does sound very much like hemangiosarcoma, which can attack the heart. Many, many of us have lost their Golden to this dreadful, sneaky disease, which attacks Goldens so often. Why the best of breeds has to have the worst of diseases just isn't right.

What is important to know is that there are rarely any real symptoms, so you didn't miss anything. I knew something was amiss with my Boomer, but all his tests were negative and he'd bounce around the vet's office like he always did. He seemed fine...until the day he wasn't.

The other important thing is that even if he had been diagnosed, there would have been nothing that could have helped. Some people have bought a little time, but this disease always wins.

Kellogg was a lovely boy and I'm so sorry he left too soon. My most sincere sympathies to you.


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## Turner4 (May 16, 2015)

Maryb said:


> I think I figured the signature out to post a picture of my dear boy. He was 8. I had him since he was 18 months old and it seems like just yesterday.


So glad you figured out how to post his picture. Such a sweet face and expressive yes. I know you miss him terribly.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

His picture is lovely. He looks such a kind, gentle boy.


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## BuddyinFrance (May 20, 2015)

LUCKYme said:


> I wish there were words that could make this easier but there aren't. I wish I could tell you I understand how you feel but I can only imagine and just thinking about it causes too much pain. My heart breaks for you. I remember reading this poem a few years back and I saved it because I knew someday I was going to need to read it. I hope it brings you a bit of comfort and I will pray that you find the peace you need.
> 
> To my dearest friend.
> 
> ...


I also read this in tears and hugged my boy a bit harder tonight. Maryb.. so sad and sorry for your loss. We are sending you hugs and courage from Bordeaux.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Maryb*

My heart is broken for you, Mary. I added Kellogg to the Rainbow Bridge List.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...rainbow-bridge-list-2015-a-7.html#post5750650
My Smooch and Snobear will take care of him.
I am praying you can get another service dog soon.


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## katynick (Jun 2, 2015)

That is beautiful! Thank you so much for that! I lost my best buddy friend soul mate dog in April and I am still reeling from that loss. Everyday I have a moment where I am lost in the fact that Jake is gone--it is still so hard for me to believe. I do feel his presence often--real or perceived I do not care--it is real to me. This poem says it all!


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## katynick (Jun 2, 2015)

I too am so sorry for your loss and your pain. My Jake died in April from hermangiosarcoma which is the medical term for blood cancer. Jake collapsed one night in March and we were able to remove his spleen and give him another month of life. But it was a hard month-for all of us. I am not sure which way is easier--a quick collapse or a prolonged trying to help. The only sure thing is that with that cancer they cannot be saved. You did nothing wrong-there is no way you could have known. And Kellogg did not suffer. That is a blessing in itself. They say that time will ease the pain-and I can say that it probably will. I am better now 2 months out than I was at 2 weeks-but there still is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him and on some of those days I still cry. But I am choosing to believe that Jake's spirit is with me and guiding me--and that helps me. This forum helps a lot. Stay with it and in time you will start to feel better and hopefully get a new service dog that you love just as much--although differently than your buddy Kellogg. Hang in there--


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So very sorry for your loss of Kellogg - it is so very hard for us that are left behind to try to come to terms with a loss that is so sudden.

I'm sorry that I have no words that can make things easier for you

HOW DO WE SAY GOODBYE
TO THE ONES WE LOVE THE MOST

WHEN IN OUR HEART OF HEARTS WE KNOW
WE NEED AND WANT THEM CLOSE

NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES REAL TIGHTLY
LET YOUR FEELINGS OVERFLOW

THEY NEVER REALLY LEFT YOU
YOUR MEMORIES NEVER GO

Run free and sleep softly Kellogg


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

Maryb ...
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you came here to be with those who all have been through the loss of our special friends. When I lost my last Golden, someone shared this with me. In time, it did give be comfort. I hope in time, it will help you also...

God Bless and keep you,

I'm Still Here 
Friend; please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!
 
Author Unknown


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## brodybond (Aug 22, 2009)

*My heart is with you*

I am so sorry for your loss and I truly feel your fresh pain. I knew for weeks my Brody's time was coming and last weekend he told me it was time. Whether sudden or known it was coming, nothing can explain the hurt and I know he is right here with me, I do feel him. Kellogg is there with you too.
I do hope you are able to get another service dog soon, your Kellogg was really more than a best friend, he was truly an extension of you.
Take the time to grieve, remember the happy times, smiles and love you shared.
Run free Kellogg.
Hugs.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

I am so sorry that you lost your sweet doggie. So tragic.


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## Goldens R Great (Aug 19, 2010)

Thank you for posting his photo. Kellogg was certainly a handsome and beautiful boy.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*

Mary:

Your Kellogg was just beautiful!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mary*



brodybond said:


> I am so sorry for your loss and I truly feel your fresh pain. I knew for weeks my Brody's time was coming and last weekend he told me it was time. Whether sudden or known it was coming, nothing can explain the hurt and I know he is right here with me, I do feel him. Kellogg is there with you too.
> I do hope you are able to get another service dog soon, your Kellogg was really more than a best friend, he was truly an extension of you.
> Take the time to grieve, remember the happy times, smiles and love you shared.
> Run free Kellogg.
> Hugs.


Mary: I agree with Brody's Mom.


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