# how do i bond with my baby?



## wbtp805 (Aug 24, 2010)

my baby came home with me almost 6 wks ago. I work at home and i spend most of the time with her. I know alot of dogs will zzz on their owner's feet or at least close to them but i duuno why mine doesn;t she hardly ever sleep close to me. When there is a guest/ third person came visit she seems to like to play with them and follow them more than me. Why is it? ( i never never hit her... and i m the one who feed her, take care of her.. ) i m a bit jeslous here.. how can i have more bonding with her? I am taking her to puppy class in about 2 wks... 

and i really want to know why she doesnt like to sleep close to me. any idea?


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## MiniCoop's Momma (Aug 17, 2010)

Just because your puppy does sleep near you doesn't necessarily mean your dog doesn't have a bond with you. Golden Retrievers are friendly, with everyone. If you want a dog that is going to attach to you and only want to be with you all the time, it probably isn't a golden. They are way too social to be a one person dog. I think your puppy class will help your bond grow. Some dogs are more velcro than others, it just depends on their personalities. Cooper doesn't act any happier to see me walk in the door than a perfect stranger. We often joke that he wouldn't care who takes him home, as long as they feed him. But I don't take it personally, because it makes me happy to see such an outgoing dog. Some are just more independent than others.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Wbtp*

WBTP

If you work at home and are on the computer alot, I would take her and her favorite toy and put her and the toy right by your feet.

I have always bonded with my Golden Ret. Rescue Girl from day one, by brushing her. I brush Smooch whenever I'm watching TV.


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## TomCat'sGirl (Aug 27, 2010)

Cash isn't much of a snuggler yet however twice now once on the floor and once on the couch he helped himself into my lap and gave me kisses he wanted some pets and love. He's 4 months one week and a day old lol but who's keeping track. At least once a day I sit on the floor with him and pet him all over queeze his feet and tail ect I am practicing "settle" with him something we learned in puppy class. He never wanted to be held much either when we brought him home (july 23rd) I am sure as they grow and develop some more personality you will find that they cuddle more and follow you everywhere you go.


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

When we first brought Joey home he was SO much more interested in my little brother, and i too was jelous. I was the one up with him all night and feeding, walking him. It quickly wore off though and i can now say that confidently that I am Joey's favourite person. Lol after my family and I comming home, Joey will come say hi to me and then go see everyone else but always come back to me and stay with me. He is my little follower, following me everywhere and he is always sleeping at/near/on/beside my feet. You'll get there


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I bet as she gets older she will want to be with you near you more and more. She is young and everything is interesting and new to her. Im sure she loves you and is bonding with you!!
If you want her to follow you around and stay near, carry treats with you. Every so often give her one. When you are going into another room call her and give her a small treat give her another when you get to the room you are going to. I bet in no time she will be following you everywhere...and then it will become a habit! 
Shes young...she loves you ....dont worry!


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## nixietink (Apr 3, 2008)

Jamm said:


> When we first brought Joey home he was SO much more interested in my little brother, and i too was jelous. I was the one up with him all night and feeding, walking him. It quickly wore off though and i can now say that confidently that I am Joey's favourite person. Lol after my family and I comming home, Joey will come say hi to me and then go see everyone else but always come back to me and stay with me. He is my little follower, following me everywhere and he is always sleeping at/near/on/beside my feet. You'll get there


I wish it was like that here!! I do majority of the feeding, training, walking, etc. Of course, my boyfriend is Vito's favorite person. :doh: However, when Vito feels bad, he is always really, really close to me.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Dogs don't always show their bond in the way we expect. If you're the one who feeds and trains her, you're the one she's bonded to the strongest. New people often create excitement and interest, but that's not the same as bonding. We used to joke that the dogs always did backflips for our friends that came over regularly to play with them, but that they treated us more like gravity—totally necessary for living, but not always as exciting. That doesn't mean they love our friends more than us. Quite the contrary.

In my experience, the temperature of the house has more to do with sleeping locations than anything else. If it's freezing, our guys tend to want to snuggle up. If it's hot, they find the place in the house with a little draft or the coldest type of flooring. If it's breezy and wet out, they want to be near windows so they can read the breeze for all the smelly stories it tells them.

If you want to bond, take a class together and work with positive training techniques. As she learns to work for and with you, she'll bond even closer. Just don't always expect her to show love in the way you want. She'll show it in her own oddball doggy way.


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## GNmom (Jun 15, 2010)

Nemo used to behave like this too. I took him home on 7/31. 

I stay at home. I feed him, brush him everyday, massage him, do potty training, wipe his butt, walk him.. everything. Whenever he sees me, he never shows as much excitement as he sees my husband (or any random stranger). He would run towards him, wagging his tail like crazy. If my husband bend over, he would roll over, belly up. He never ever does this to me. I have been very jealous but I'm slowly learning to accept it. Gradually I notice small changes: he follows me around more often...he lies close by (though still several feet away)...he hardly wiggles when being held (he used to struggle every 5 seconds)...

Give her time, she will become more and more close to you.


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## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

Totally agree with the last two posts here. I do everything for Cosmo as I'm home with him all day but he's far less excited to see me than anyone else. However, when we're at training classes it's me he listens to most.

The very first thing I ever worte on this forum was a thread entitled "Aloof, non-cuddly puppy". I was so upset that our 8 week old seemed to actually dislike us. He'd walk away with his toys and sleep in the farthest corners of the room. I was really hurt by it. Now at 5 months he's TOTALLY different and pretty much can't be close enough. He likes to cuddle now and will lie on my feet. If I stand in one spot for more than 10 second he will curl himself around my legs and rest on my feet.

I know it's hard now but trust me, it'll soon be different. It did take Cosmo over a month though to start showing genuine interest in us and actually allow himself to be held. Treats help a lot!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Well, maybe this will make you feel better:

When I come home, I never get the big, over-the-top, Golden whining greeting. If I've been gone all day, I get a full-body wag and definite happiness. If I've been gone for an hour? She doesn't even get up! I know this is "my fault," as I very carefully taught very low key comings and goings so as to prevent separation anxiety (of which she has none). And I am her only person - I feed her, care for her, brush her, play with her, etc etc etc.

However... I know my dog is deeply bonded to me. When I'm sick, she doesn't want to go out with her dogwalker (whom she adores). When my suitcase comes out, she mopes and follows me around. When we travel, she is glued to me. When I'm home, she is always in the same room as me - just not always on top of me. She also knows I am the one who will help her when she hurts or is hungry or is scared. That's more powerful to me than anything. When she's in pain and comes and puts her paw on me to help, or trusts me when I have a bottle of ear drops in my hand that it's going to make her better even though it may not as they go in, it melts my heart.


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## FinnTastic (Apr 20, 2009)

When I come home from work, Finn just looks at me from the couch as to say 'yep, you're here now come over and rub my belly'
Sometimes I wish he would come to the door and greet me with a wigly butt, but it is humorous seeing him on the couch just looking at me. I did the same thing as SweetGirl. I didn't make a big deal about our coming and goings.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

My dogs weren't velcro dogs till they got older. Puppies are much too busy (playing, learning, exploring) to want to cuddle very long. Be patient. I bet it will happen.


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## kwiland (Aug 27, 2009)

I agree with Debles, and a lot of other advice already given.

Here's my two cents (for what it's worth). 

First of all, relax and don't worry. Your dog will love you. Goldens are highly social and love people. I mean they really, really, love people. They NEED people very much.

Your puppy is a highly social being, and she is also still a baby. The only life she's known so far is being with her litter and her Mom. She was very bonded to them, and loved them very much. Then, one day, they were gone, and she's with new people (you). This might be scary for her. Winnie was very, very upset when he came home with us and left his litter. He's 8 and 1/2 now, and absolutely loves and adores us. I'm his most important person, my husband is his best buddy and most fun playmate, and my daughter is HIS baby who he'd defend to the end, if he had to. He loves her simply because she is an extension of me. And because she tends to drop food on the floor. And Winnie loves food.

But, my big huge lovable oaf has separation anxiety to this day. Leaving his littermates was so upsetting to him, that he still doesn't like to be alone. I think he worries we're not coming back. And he loves us so much.

So give your baby some time. She will learn that she has a new family now. And you will be her entire world, and she will give you more love than you ever expected. At least, this is what Winnie did with me.

Winnie is not a lap cuddler, he's too big. But he loves to be NEAR me. No matter what. This means I never take a shower or go to the restroom alone. Ever. And he's never more than a few feet away from me.

And as much as he loves me, and he does, he also loves everyone else, too. Not as much. But Winnie never met a stranger. He only meets new friends. I thought for years that Winnie had this "I love you" expression, just for me, when he wrinkles up his big brown eyes and makes them so soft and loving, and his mouth turns into a soft, lazy smile. I called this Winnie's "I love you" face. Well, we moved from VA to TX last year, and the first thing Winnie did at our new Vet's office was give his 'I love you face' (special and just for me!) to all of the female Vet-techs at the office. The little flirt!

But I love him and his personality, so for a few minutes I was upset and jealous, and then I realized this is just what makes Winnie be Winnie, and it's why I love him. So my boy is a flirt. Worse things could happen, right?

Your baby girl will grow into herself, her personality, and your family with time. She is just a baby, and is now learning about her new life, and you, and her new pack. Give her time, with love and patience, she'll figure it out. I promise!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

FinnTastic said:


> When I come home from work, Finn just looks at me from the couch as to say 'yep, you're here now come over and rub my belly'
> Sometimes I wish he would come to the door and greet me with a wigly butt, but it is humorous seeing him on the couch just looking at me. I did the same thing as SweetGirl. I didn't make a big deal about our coming and goings.


Okay. I truly thought I was the only person on the planet whose Golden doesn't go nuts when their person comes home. I certainly don't regret teaching my dog to be so secure in my leaving and coming back, but I admit I have wondered, more than once, if she really just doesn't care. (Even though, I KNOW that's not true). 

But you've made me feel that much better knowing I'm not alone. Thank you.


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## kwiland (Aug 27, 2009)

Winnie does do the 'happy to see you' dance, with the whole body wag, when I come home. But only for me. Hubby and daughter get a wag and a smile, and a glance towards the pantry. Winnie is always trying to get more food!

And, I work at home, I'm usually here. So me leaving, and coming home again, is much more rare than hubby and daughter leaving. They do that a few times a day. 

And, I am his favorite person. So, the fact that we're so bonded, and I don't normally leave him, makes him go crazy happy when I'm home again. 

But he's never done this for the rest of the family. I think that he sees them leave and come home every day, so he's not so worried. When I go, it's not so common, and a little more scary.


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## lucysmum (Sep 2, 2010)

I worried too when I first got Lucy.

She didnt seem to be a puppy that liked cuddles.

But as she got bigger she is at my side most of the time.

I cant remember the last time I could go to the toilet on my own.

Infact when I took her to the vet the other day the vet said... I dont know what Lucy would do if you died!!

Be patient with your baby, she will come to you soon... and she will be with you forever.


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