# Training in the house



## pixiedust (Dec 4, 2008)

I married into golden retrievers, and inside dogs as well. I am almost at my wits end with the dogs and I don't seem to be getting much support. I need to know how to train them and break them of bad habits. You know, the cute puppy traits (carrying around a dog towel) that grows into terrible things (trying to carry the comforter from the bed to who knows where). Other things include:

Chewing and destroying fabric items (worried it might include guests' belongings)

Excessive barking - at us (especially if we are sharing a smoochy moment)

Jumping on my husband (he doesn't jump on me) and visitors.

Standing over us when we are sitting on the couch watching tv

Trying to bring every ball (even long forgotten ones) to us so we will play with them while watching tv

Panting in our face because we refuse to throw the ball just deposited in our lap because we are watching tv

Then there is the look on my husband's face followed with 'they just want to play' when I put the tennis balls on the mantle so the goldens will finally stop jumping on us.

Taking up almost all the bed while we are trying to sleep. 

Demanding to be fed when it is near the time we normally feed them. It isn't like we have missed feeding them at all. They start demanding 30 minutes ahead of schedule and won't calm down until after feeding time.

Sitting and putting their chin on the table while we are eating.

Jumping on my husband's lap right after he finishes eating. (They don't do that with me - just him) Oh, and they have our meals timed too. If we take longer than normal they start getting restless.

Sniffing hands while I am trying to cook or if my hands are wet or if I am taking a treat to the cat. 

Thinking everything in my hand is a treat and that it is theirs.

I am just frustrated by their behavior. We are planning on having people come over and this type of behavior is unacceptable to me. I don't mind their playing, most of what they do but right now I am at my wits end.

ie - last night they were rough housing at the dinner table and kept knocking the one chair that we were not using. When I pushed it over the rest of the way (yep - it was on 2 legs) I got the 'Aww honey' look from my husband. I don't mind their playing but I do mind bad behavior in potential guest settings. Rough housing and upsetting furniture is bad behavior in my book. Potential danger - what if there is something breakable on the furniture they knock over?


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

I can feel your frustration....personally that would drive me nuts too!
What sex?
Ages? 
Are the intact?
Have they ever been to obedience classes?
Are the crate trained?
Does hubby share your desire for law and order in your home?


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Sounds like they are allowed to jump on people, grab food, get on the furniture when they choose, beg for food....

Are there any rules they have to follow? 
Do they know how to sit, down or stay...if so, for how long?

Girl Im on your side!!....just trying to help sort out where to begin - with your hubby ro the dogs <grin>!!


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

I know you are frustrated but there is hope.

Some of what you describe is normal Golden behavior in my house. 

My dogs will let me know when dinner is getting close, interrupt hugs and kisses, carry things around in their mouth all day long and demand attention. I think it is all normal and you have to decide what is acceptable for your house.

For the times that you really do not want them acting up like dinner time or guest time do you have crates available to use? That would help give you and your dogs a little peace. Also are they well exercised? That would help alot for when you want to relax yourselves. It sounds like what you need is some ground rules with your husband on what is acceptable to both of you. Then maybe you can both enjoy your dogs and your time together more. Good luck and let us know how it goes!


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

They sound out of control for sure! A simple, "no, back off" should get them to get off the furniture and out of your face. If it doesn't, they definitely need some training! I LOVE my dogs, and I welcome them on furniture and so forth- BUT, I am in control of when. I'd start with a lot of exercise, and some obedience training. Tell them, "OK!" and invite them up- otherwise it's "Nope... off!" until they get the message.


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## pixiedust (Dec 4, 2008)

There are 4 Goldens (and one cat)

Female - not in tact - 7 years
Male - in tact - 5 years
Female - in tact - 3 years
Male - in tact - 1 1/2 years
Cat = 7 months

The oldest 2 are show dogs so they have been through some sort of training. They all are crate trained. They can sit and stay, know down. The youngest male isn't too hot at all that though. Oh, and if food is involved, they do everything beautifully.

I do not allow them to jump, grab, or be lawless whenever they want. But that is just my side of the story.

Being newly married it is somewhat scary trying to manage and discipline the dogs - much like they are someone else's children. Well, they are like children, aren't they?

When I babygate the dining area for a more 'formal' type meal with just my husband and I, he feels guilty because the dogs are not there. I tell him it is ok, but they whine and he caves in.

I have even quit watching tv with him just because of the dogs acting up. Somehow he doesn't get the message. 

Any clues? The Goldens act differently when I am alone with them. When he is there, it is more chaotic because he tends to ignore and overlook the problems. FYI, when I told him this week that I was going to start working with them and training them to behave more appropriately, he laughed and asked if it was possible. Then went on defensive stating he hasn't had much time lately. I agreed and said that is why I was stepping in, to help train them to behave better. But me, I am clueless to inside dogs . . .


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## Emma&Tilly (May 15, 2005)

My first question would be, how much exercise do these dogs get??? To be honest they sound like very bored, very energetic dogs. Would they do this kind of thing after an hour long off-lead run?? My guess is that they would be content and snoozing and not bugging you! If they do get a decent amount of exercise (1-2 hours daily free running) then I think it is just down to training...praising when they are doing what you want, ignoring them when they are annoying you. As it sounds like most of the bad behaviour is centred around your husband (probably because he is allowing it!!) then it is him who needs to put his foot down and show/teach them the right way to behave. 

I would be really interested to hear about their daily exercise though...


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Thanks for the details!
Boy you are outgunned!! For some reason I imagined you had just two!!

You can deal with one (or two) at a time when you are alone...crate the others...take turns spending time with each...teach them silly tricks...your hubby might not object to the crating if he knows your teaching them something fun..

It sounds like you are interested in training...How about taking a class?
Pick your favorite dog or the one that responds the best to you.
As you learn you will feel more in control of the crew...
You'll have a support person and group of people that are cheering you on each week.
I will bet that when the dogs start responding better to you, your dh will be more onboard with your thoughts...plus kind of hard to claim 'you dont like my dogs' if you are {I]choosing[/I] to spend your free time with them...

I understand your hubby's desire to spoil his pups..but as you already know, manageable dogs are A LOT more fun and enjoyable to be around...

Makes perfect sense to take the balls up and only bring them down when you want to play....the fact that they are ball crazy is great and very helpful to motivate them without food...
Makes perfect sense to have the dogs crated or behind a gate when you eat dinner..

There are lots of us here that have multiples...it is a hoot and tons of fun...
hang in there....


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I agree with Emma&Tilly. Good solid exercise will cure a lot of the behaviors. The bugging you 30 minutes before dinner most likely will not stop. They are hungry! My Danny will start at me right at 30 minutes before dinner. He can't help himself, he is convinced that I have fogotten to feed him because he is starving!

Most of the other behaviors will resolve themselves with a lot of off leash running and some mental stimulation.


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## pixiedust (Dec 4, 2008)

The males are in kennels from 7am til 5pm M-F (we both have full time jobs).
The girls have free run of the house unless the youngest decides that she wants to kennel with the boys.

They are out when we are home, they can go outside anytime they want, they are not restrained unless we are doing something where they might get hurt (ie, putting down a floor, nailing, sawing, etc.)

This weekend was the first time in 7 months we have been away from the dogs. I told my husband the dilema and how frustrated I was getting with the dogs. I love them and don't want them to be obnoxious to guests, irritating to me, or a wedge between us. He seems to understand and is working on a plan.

As I stated earlier, I have never had indoor dogs. Is there a book, website, or what hints can you give on training?

When I was a pre-teen I took classes on showing a dog, so I know how to train them to sit, stay, stand, and heel. 

Is that all I need to start with indoor dogs? I am totally clueless on this matter.

I am worried because some of our guests don't really appreciate dogs, there are a couple who are either ill or unstable so if a dog jumps on them it would not be a pretty sight. And while I don't mind the dogs getting attention from guests, barking for attention or demanding to be petted is not going to be good for some of the guests and I would like to train them with a little better manners. Is that possible?


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## Dinsdale (Feb 26, 2008)

Wow - 4 poorly trained mature dogs. You've got your work cut out for you! 

One important question - is your husband on the same page with you? Because if not, you may have a losing battle if you try to train them, and then he undoes everything you accomplish. I'm not expert, but I think consistency is extremely important.

And you realize there is no easy answer. You are simply going to identify what you consider the most problemmatic behaviors, and then decide what behaviors you want to train to counteract them. 

Probably the most basic is a reliable sit/stay or down/stay. The dog can't jump on you or guests while in a sit/stay. And you aren't being mean telling the dog to sit/stay. In many respects the dogs are misbehaving because no one is clearly telling them WHAT to do. 

There may also be at least some element of dominance in some of the behaviors you describe - standing over you during TV, incessantly bringing toys to play. You should be the one initiating play time, and if you want them somewhere other than where they are, that is where they should be.

I don't envy you. But there is no magic answer. Just a lot of hard work ahead of you. But you may be surprised at how well they respond. A lot of what you see may simply result from them not knowing what you expect of them.


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## Auenk9 (Oct 23, 2008)

The first thing to do is make sure your husband is on the same page as you are in regard to wanting to "cure" their bad behavior. 

The second thing to do is find an obedience club/class near you and enroll one or two of them in an upcoming session. Training a dog to behave is not a one time deal. Training continues on throughout their lifetime. Having 4 dogs you may have to switch which ones go to class and then which ones you train at home with the tools you learn at class. 

If you are having company ....... you can crate the dogs and/or put them in a room that will not be used by your guests. This will be however, only a temporary fix for the evening and will only work if they will be "quiet" while the company is at your home.

One good rule of thumb to remember is: A TIRED dog is a HAPPY dog. 

When you get home...no matter how tired you are.....you might want to take them out in the backyard and toss a tennis ball for all of them for a bit. That however will not make them behave on cue. Just might wear them out a little more. :sleeping:

And....finally....even trained Goldens (such as mine) can be "pains in the rear" at times! Its part of the breed standard! (Just kidding)


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

How about teaching the dogs the command "Go To Bed" while you're working on the other advice? Give each dog their own mat or bed, start with very short times there likes it's the most fun trick ever. "Pay" the dog highly with treats for lying quietly. Once the dogs know individually which corner is theirs, start expanding the time. You can temporarily tether the dog, and keep him/her occupied with a kong or a bones or a chew during dinner. You''l be so proud when you can tell the crew
Go To Bed, and they all go to their stations. Just keep up the positive association with the command so it's ot a punishment or overused. That many dogs need a serious off leash run every day.


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## Emma&Tilly (May 15, 2005)

Excellent advice so far so I won't repeat it. Although you gave a little more clue about their lives there still was no exercise routine to speak of, so forgive me if I am wrong and they do get sufficent exercise (I am only basing this on what I have read so far)...If not then I am absolutely sure that exercise is the key to this. If the male dogs are in a kennel for 10 hours straight then I think here lies the problem. As fab as my dogs are in the house they would be absolute lunatics if released from a day like that. They would have so much excess energy that they would need at least an hour in the field before I would expect them to behave in the house. My youngest especially would be like a coiled spring if he had been in a kennel for 10 hours. I don't mean to be blunt but I don't personally feel that it is fair for any dog to be confined for that excessive length of time. I know there are many that work full time and they do make it work but it takes an awful lot of dedication and possibly hiring a dog walker to break the day up for them...You should be letting them have a good walk on a morning before leaving them and then walking them as soon as you get home again. I know how hard it is when you get back from a hard day to have to go out straight away with the dogs but its just what you have to do when you own a dog, it's part and parcel! Your husband should certainly be doing this as he decided to give these dogs a home so it is his responsibility to make sure they have a good quality of life. I just don't think any additional training will be very beneficial if you are working with unexercised dogs. It really is unfair to expect them to be model dogs in the house if they have just come in from a day in a kennel. I think you will see a vast, vast improvement if these dogs got an hour, off lead walk when you come back from work. They will be contented and happy to rest.


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## hgatesy (Feb 14, 2007)

Wow... it sounds like first off you and your husband need to get on the same page. It's hard to be consistent if you're not, and the behaviors are going to continue even if you work your butt off. You need to work together!



> Chewing and destroying fabric items (worried it might include guests' belongings)


Do they have their own things to chew? Nylabones, kongs?



> Excessive barking - at us (especially if we are sharing a smoochy moment)


Sounds like they want attention. One of my previous foster's did this.. and we often wondered what this got him in his past home. What does it get yours? Do they get the attention they want? When we had Jake and he behaved in this way I would get up and walk out of the room and shut the door behind me. I'm sorry friend... barking at me like a nut gets you nothing in my house!



> Trying to bring every ball (even long forgotten ones) to us so we will play with them while watching tv


Again sounds like attention... wanting to play. Tyson will often do this in the evenings, especially nights we skip walks.



> Panting in our face because we refuse to throw the ball just deposited in our lap because we are watching tv. Then there is the look on my husband's face followed with 'they just want to play' when I put the tennis balls on the mantle so the goldens will finally stop jumping on us.


Maybe have a good game of fetch prior to T.V time than you can enjoy your show! Works like a charm!



> Taking up almost all the bed while we are trying to sleep.


 Good luck with this one... let me know if you find anything that works other than kicking them off! All my dogs are bed hogs!



> Demanding to be fed when it is near the time we normally feed them. It isn't like we have missed feeding them at all. They start demanding 30 minutes ahead of schedule and won't calm down until after feeding time.


 All my dogs do this as well. I never have to check my clocks at home because I know when it's 7:30AM and 5:00PM. Park comes and stares at me. Camden paces and Tyson does his incredibly loud whining while racing around the house. 



> Sitting and putting their chin on the table while we are eating.


 Bad habit. Some where along the lines the dogs got the okay to do this and it'll continue until you consistently put a stop to it. Park (our first dog) wasn't taught proper meal time behavior because when he was a puppy we thought this type of thing was "cute". Now we try to make them sit back away from the table or we simply gate them out of the room. Poor pouty faces or not...



> Jumping on my husband's lap right after he finishes eating. (They don't do that with me - just him)


 Because he allows this. He needs to be firm and tell them off. 



> Sniffing hands while I am trying to cook or if my hands are wet or if I am taking a treat to the cat.


 Could you gate the dogs out of the kitchen when you are cooking? This is something we do. Not only for their protection but mine as well. I'm always tripping over someone and would hate to drop something on someone.. so they are now babygated out.



> Thinking everything in my hand is a treat and that it is theirs.


 That's any dog for ya! :bowl: 




> They are out when we are home, they can go outside anytime they want, they are not restrained unless we are doing something where they might get hurt (ie, putting down a floor, nailing, sawing, etc.)


I'm going to have to agree with the exercise. I'm sure that's a big part of the problem. My dogs are permitted to go outside in our fenced in yard anytime they want while we're home as well however this is by no means sufficient exercise for them. Although they will sometimes play and wrestle around outside they really need me to be involved (or DH) in order to tire them out. A good game of fetch... we do usually do a 2 mile walk a day and I try to take them to the field to run a few nights a week. I notice a huge change in regards to behavior when they've been properly exercised. Nights that we don't get out... they all drive me nuts!


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## pixiedust (Dec 4, 2008)

Ok, so exercise is a key. I normally let them out for quite a while in the morning (while getting dressed, eating breakfast) and when I get home my husband has them outside.

After our talk (better to talk than hold grudges or get angry) he is starting to work with them a little bit more. I take that as a good sign. 

The barking, yes - I have walked away and they do become quieter. I will have to incorporate that more.

The dogs and I do play, they like to play hide and seek, they play with the cat too. She likes to play cat and mouse. And wrestles with the dogs too.

When the dogs get cheeky I do show them I am top dog (flip on back and tell them no - they are perfect angels after that, for a few hours at least).

Exercise, work together on training, and use baby gate if they are going to get hurt or potentially hurt someone (me or guests).

Wow, lots to work on. But if we can't do it with the dogs, how will we ever with children?


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## MyRealMcRoy (Dec 17, 2008)

Pixie lots of good advice here so I won't repeat it - well... except for hubby bein' the first one you need train but it seems you're headed in the right direction for that! 

Mac had free reign of the house while we were at work but he'd still have to bark and jump up and give you a big hug and a kiss when you got home ... sometimes he'd be so keyed up we'd have to let him out for a few minutes just let us have a couple minutes to settle in. 

The one thing that no one has really touched on yet ... forgive me if I read incorrectly but I assume the dogs and DH were together when you came into the picture. Are they jealous?

Mac was TERRIBLY..... My husband used to work a rotating shift (3-11, 11-7, 7-3 and off). On the 3-11 week mommy went to work and from 8-3 Mac had daddy all to himself. On the 11-7 week mommy was at work during the day and while daddy was sleepin' Mac could snuggle next to him all day. On his off week .... mommy went to work and Mac had daddy all to himself (see a pattern developing here???  ) Let me tell you... when that 7-3 week rolled around and we both worked during the day and slept at night ... that was one jealous baby. If Mitch came home and gave me a hug before Mac got his ... he'd try to squeeze in between us. If we were talking in the living room ... he'd stand between our two chairs ... and if that didn't stop the coversation he'd go to first one and then the other and nudge them as if to say 'hey... what about me??" Weekend mornings if we slept in ... as soon as anyone spoke or stirred ... he was right up on the bed and wiggled in between. It was cute at first but eventually we'd have to correct him in order to carry on a conversation. 

I agree you need to get control .. but take baby steps and keep your expectations reasonable. They didn't get this far out of control over night.


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