# Compromise



## ladyofherbs (Dec 30, 2012)

I needs thoughts about our Gabby who is 9. Gabby is my 2nd golden who has been raised with rotts. She lived with Xena my 12 y/o rott who passed on 10/13 due to a nasal tumor and Isis who was 4 and passed on 12/24. Xena was the most gentle soul and Gabby was her best bud. Isis was not. Isis had mental issues and was a time bomb waiting to go off. On Christmas Eve morning, she turned on me and bit my hand and then continued aggression in my direction, ripping my nightgown. It was hard to do but we had her out down a few hrs later. We had spent 24/7 the past 4 years working with her to no avail. Gabby was not treated well by Isis at all. Now Gabby is an only pup with our cat as company. My husband wants another rott and I am afraid at this point. We have shared 3 wonderful rotts but Isis has soured me.

My question is this: does it sound reasonable to ask that Gabby remain the only dog for the rest of her life and then we can get a rott and another golden at the same time. There is a great breeder who breeds both near us. My first golden teddy Bear passed at 14. That is not so far away for my Gabbers. Golden people are loving folks and I know I can get real advice and not be criticized for what we did with Isis. The rott forum tore us apart.


----------



## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

Im sorry you had to make the tough decision. Living with a dog that could go off is no way for you or the dog to live. Only you are able to say when its enough and if your dog was attacking you like that I don't see how you had much other choice. 

Did you get isis as a pup? I would say to really make sure that the parents have awesome temperaments, all the health clearances and you have the time to devote to socializing a new pup. You do never know but you would increase your chance on having another good one. But again only you would know how Gabby would appreciate a young pup in her life. 
Good luck to you and so sorry for your losses! Give Gabby lots of extra love!


----------



## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

ladyofherbs said:


> ......Isis had mental issues and was a time bomb waiting to go off. On Christmas Eve morning, she turned on me and bit my hand and then continued aggression in my direction, ripping my nightgown. It was hard to do but we had her out down a few hrs later. We had spent 24/7 the past 4 years working with her to no avail..... The rott forum tore us apart.


I'm very sorry for what you all have gone through, I am truly floored that the rottweiler forum would not give you the benefit of the doubt that you loved your dog and did everything within your means to work on her issues. That is appalling and makes me doubt the judgement of those folks. Nothing is more important than human safety and it sounds like they have lost site of that. 

I don't have advice for you, but I am wondering if your husband understands your point of view and would he be willing to give you some time to try to move past this? He may think your fears are unreasonable, but they are still very real to you.

I hope you will find what you need here, there are some terrific people here who I am sure will be able to give you thoughtful input.


----------



## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear you had to go through this difficult time. You made the decision you had to make. It is not appropriate for anyone to second guess such a heartfelt decision.

As far as getting another rottweiller right away--my thought would be to wait until your Golden passes. I think a young rotti, even a puppy, would be difficult for an older Golden to deal with. However, I agree with Nolefan, that you and your husband should at least give it some time before any decisions are made.


----------



## ladyofherbs (Dec 30, 2012)

We had Isis since she was a pup and she always had issues with aggression. It continued and increased as she got older. Never had these probs with the other 3 rotts we had. Gabby is a rescue and is fearful. I am now seeing her come out of her shell somewhat. She is exploring more. Isis really kept her living in fear, no matter how much we kept them apart for safety. I will share you responses with my spouse. I am afraid he does not see my POV and is resentful that I do not want another rott now, if ever. Rotts are his breed as goldens are my breed of choice. I can see 2 outcomes here 1. he sees my POV and compromises to wait or 2. he forces the issue and I take my Gabby, my cat and birds elsewhere. I need to have my POV respected as I will be the primary caretaker of any pet that comes to our house. Thank you again, I knew golden owners would be able to help. No responses yet on the rot site where I also posted about compromise. Many did offer sympathy now but got little help when Isis was still here.


----------



## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

Actually I went and read the posts on the rott forum, I believe you received some excellent advice from them on how to manage your girl, some of which you elected not to do and unless that forum deletes posts, I didn't see anything but support given to you when you reported having to send Isis to the bridge. As for whether to add another dog into the mix, it seems like your golden needs some one on one time with her humans having had to endure living with an unstable dog for 4 years. That being said, we can only offer recommendations based on the info provided--you and your husband are the best judge of whether (and when) to open your home to another pup. Having gone from 3 to 1 dogs in a relatively short amount of time, I can imagine how unbearably quiet the house must seem now. Good luck with your decision & if you do decide to pursue a pup, please thoroughly research the breeders ensuring they're following at minimum the respective breed clubs code of ethics for breeding.


----------



## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I can well understand the need for time before making any decisions. Having an older golden, I think her welfare has to come first. The fact that you see her coming out of her shell is very heartening. IMO you owe it to her to help her become all the dog she can be first and foremost. 

I'm so sorry you had to go thru this. It's got to be gut wrenching to make that decision, but even more stressful to live in such a tense situation.


----------



## ladyofherbs (Dec 30, 2012)

You are all so sweet. In retrospect most rott posts were intended to be helpful. We did everything they suggested to the best of our circumstances. Isis was my 4th rott so we were not new to the world of rotties. Their posts on the Bridge were touching and supportive. But yes, some of my posts were deleted there.

On 12/31 my husband and I participated in the Candlelight Ceremony at the Bridge, we both were in tears by the close of it.


----------



## Billabong (Jan 1, 2013)

Is Gabby really an 'only dog' ? I would argue that she probably sees herself as part of your pack. 

A lot depends on the amount of company she will get through the day. 

We have one dog who seems well adjusted to our family life. This being said, it would be very rare that he spends more than 2.5 hours without some family contact. 

Does she appear to miss your Rotts? What about another Retriever?




Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


----------



## ladyofherbs (Dec 30, 2012)

*Compromise..*

Gabby misses Xena the most. They grew up together. Very little interaction with Isis the one who left 12/24. Isis was an alpha and was not a benevolent one. Gabby is part of the family pack, yes. She really did not get the attention she deserved for being such a wonderful dog. Isis took every minute 24/7 of attention with training and walking and worrying.

I would love another golden but my husband wants a rott again. They are his dog of choice.

I approached him about my compromise idea and asked him to not say anything right away but to think on it. If Gabbers stays the only dog for her remaining years, he can get a rott . And I will get an older golden puppy.That way the rott puppy will grow up with a golden and hopefully think she is a golden too. He has not responded yet..I hope that is a good sign. He is sad because he said he has no dog....I have a dog but he does not. I am trying to get him to see that Gabby is OUR pet not just mine. Only time will tell.

2 of my 4 rotts actually believed they were goldens. I could say GO TO YOUR ROOM and the golden and rott would turn around and go to the bedroom. It always impressed visitors.

Again I am sorry if I spoke out of turn about the other forum but I was still in shock when I posted.


----------

