# Fear/Anxiety Issues?



## goldenenthusiast (Jul 28, 2014)

I've been lurking on this forum for awhile and I need to post about some upsetting behavior from my 11 month old puppy. I need help and advice before I implode and have a meltdown.

Growing up, my puppy was a very confident, boisterous guy with a calm temperament. He played the best in puppy class, and excelled at basic and advanced class. We live in a busy urban environment, so from the get go he's been exposed to all kinds of sounds, sights, and tons of people and dogs. He loved everyone but quickly we've learned to avoid most dogs, the majority of which are unfriendly. As I said in some previous threads I posted here, he was attacked a couple of times by illegally off leash dogs who would run up to him and start attacking him unprovoked. He would shriek in fear, trying to escape. After the last attack where he received minor puncture wounds, I literally swore off ALL dogs. This is difficult as we literally see dozens of dogs a day, all day, constantly walking around the city. I set up play dates with his puppy friends but did not let him socialize with anyone else. I took him to a behaviorist who introduced him to a neutral dog. He was ecstatic to meet the neutral dog and tried to play with it. She told me she didn't sense any anxiety from him, and just to continue training him to ignore other dogs on walks.

That was all a couple of months ago. Since then, I actively carry treats with me on walks and lead him away from any dogs we see, which is a tiring process, as we are constantly crossing streets, turning around, going back the way we came, hiding behind a tree, walking into an alley, etc. Walks are not a relaxing "walk" so much as an obstacle game of avoid-the-dog. Unfortunately we haven't been able to avoid perfectly and he gets snapped and snarled at plenty by aggressive, reactive dogs. This was all right for awhile. I just told him to ignore it, shake it off, and we'd continue to have our play dates with friends.

However, lately I've noticed that he's losing his confidence. He's started jumping away in fear when dogs snarl at him, even if they are a safe distance away. He basically freaks out and fixates on them. He attempts to pull me toward many dogs he sees, or he'll lay down and observe them. If they're snapping and snarling at him, he just can't seem to ignore them. I just continue my tactic of getting his attention with treats and heeling.

Then, in our obedience class, we introduced him to the teacher's large dog. This time he seemed to jump away fearfully for no reason, even though the dog was just laying there. He finally got the courage and approached it cautiously, sniffing. I just brushed it aside; maybe some dogs give off threatening vibes that I can't understand.

Next, the other day we met a strange Golden Retriever. I usually don't let him say hi to strange dogs, but sometimes I make exceptions, and I made an exception for the Golden. He started to approach it confidently, and it suddenly moved toward him. He freaked out and dodged it like it was going to scalp him. Then he kept freaking out and trying to escape even as the dog just stood there. I was shocked that he was acting so scared. I said, "No, sorry, I'm leaving, my dog's scared." Right as I said that he got major zoomies and started running around like a maniac. He'd run, drop to a down like a statue, run again, drop to a down. I couldn't calm him down. The other dog was just running around too. He's done this zoomie-ish running around before with other dogs, but this time seemed extreme, and combined with the fearful reaction he just had, maybe it was some kind of fear release?

It really seems he is increasingly developing anxiety about other dogs. I notice that if we are walking down the sidewalk toward another dog he'll do avoidance signals like licking his lips and looking sideways, or he'll start grabbing things on the ground quickly like it reassures him and to give him something to do.

As I said previously I've been actively using treats on walks to avoid dogs for the past couple of months. And it seemed to be working for awhile so I can't understand why we are regressing. He doesn't demonstrate this anxiety with his friends. In fact, if he sees his friends he will drag me over there and initiate games. Similarly, if he is playing boisterously with a group of friends, he will also be confident if any strange dogs appear. He'll run up to the strange dog, sniffing boldly, and run around trying to play.

In addition to the dog anxiety, I've observed some really weird behavior from him lately. A couple of weeks ago, he was fixating on something out our balcony window. First of all, we live in on the 40th floor in a high rise. There's nothing there. Something freaked him out and caused him to bark a scary way I've never heard before. Instead of just a "woof," he practically "howled." It was like "woo-woo-woo-WOOF-woo-woo-woo-WOOF" over and over. I freaked out because that noise has never come from him, and I didn't even know he was capable of that noise. I ran over to him and petted him, then called him to me with treats. He kept fixating on the window and ignored me. I took him on a walk immediately to take his mind off of it and get his energy out. When we came back, he continued to fixate. I walked outside onto the balcony to show him nothing was there, and had him come out with me. At first he was nervous, but then he came out. I literally kept assuring him everything was fine with treats, training, and making sure he didn't keep staring at the window. Finally after a few days of this, he seemed to get over it. Now, he occasionally barks at the balcony when he is bored and trying to scratch at the bugs, but it's a NORMAL sounding single bark.

Well that was the last time I heard that frightening bark until today. We had just come back from tricks class today and he had zoomies, then fell asleep in his favorite spot in front of the door. I had ordered food delivery and was in my room when suddenly I heard that same crazy "woo-woo-woo-WOOF" howling, aggressive bark. I jumped a mile high and almost screamed. I ran out into the room and saw him standing in front of the front door, his tail waving stiffly. Turns out, the delivery person was just outside the door and about to knock. I put my puppy in a sit with treats and petted his chest and told him to calm down. Usually if I know the person out there, I let him run excitedly out into the hallway and jump and play with them. This time, I just let him run outside and see that it was just a friendly person. He was very excited and did his usual of running around, wagging his tail, and jumping on the person. In retrospect this wasn't the best decision. Half of me honestly thought he was going to be really aggressive and attack the person, the way his bark sounded. But it seemed he turned back into his happy self, ecstatic to meet anyone.

I know now that the bark that he does must be his fearful defensive bark, and he must have sensed the person out there behind the door and freaked out. But my neighbors are CONSTANTLY complimenting me about how he's totally quiet. He never barks at the door, literally never. Being in the city, people walk by it all day and he sort of listens to it, then ignores it. The maintenance people vacuum in the hallways or drag furniture by the door, and he's silent. I'm SHOCKED and DEVASTATED that he reacted this way.

Please, I need some advice on what to do. I contacted a behaviorist in the city and I'm making an appointment as soon as possible. Is there anything else I can do to combat this seeming anxiety from my puppy. The behaviorist kept putting horror stories in my mind, saying how fear is just one step away from aggression, etc. I would literally be heartbroken as if he died, if he showed any aggression. He is the sweetest, most loving puppy, and this has been the best 10 months of my life. I'm in tears right now because I feel so helpless, and I see his fear, and I am helpless to stop it. I blame myself for not being a confident enough leader. I'm an anxious person myself, and maybe I am not the right person to have a dog. Maybe it was the worst thing to ever happen to him, for the breeder to place him in my home. From his temperament test, he was supposed to be the most confident pup in the litter, but I failed in protecting him from other dogs. 

I'm wallowing in pity but I'm also filled with frustration because I feel I have tried so hard. He's been through so much training with me. We are currently doing competition obedience and tricks class and he is so smart and cute in class. The teachers love him and he loves them. I actively train him on walks, closely supervise him on his play dates, unlike everyone else who is on cell phones, letting their dogs run around together unchecked like a chaotic dog park. I apply Nothing in Life is Free to everything he does, and he must stay, wait and do tricks for new treats and toys. I wanted to be the perfect dog mom and raise him well, and that's why I researched all these things. Yet why are these troubles surfacing? I feel so out-of-control and I just want him to be better, and I just don't know why he's acting this way.


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## SwimDog (Sep 28, 2014)

I'm sorry you're having so many challenges. 

A few things:
- The other dogs = food should be leading to him being happy about seeing other dogs. Because you are not having success that means either the other dogs are too close and/or the food is not valuable enough: Reactive Champion: Learning Theory 101: Desensitization and Counter-Conditioning My dogs get barked and snarled at in classes on occasion and on rare occasion in public - they usually happily turn towards me with joy because the barking is a signal for treats.

You mention him approaching/pulling towards some dogs and his friends - maybe work on him being able to calmly pass those dogs in close quarters? That my be good for his confidence?

Your decision to get more professional help is great. If you can get someone to help take video on walks so you can share that with the professional, then you may have some important information to give him/her at the session.

Food is more useful to train behaviors or to change associations than to distract dogs.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Your puppy*



littlesnow said:


> I've been lurking on this forum for awhile and I need to post about some upsetting behavior from my 11 month old puppy. I need help and advice before I implode and have a meltdown.
> 
> Growing up, my puppy was a very confident, boisterous guy with a calm temperament. He played the best in puppy class, and excelled at basic and advanced class. We live in a busy urban environment, so from the get go he's been exposed to all kinds of sounds, sights, and tons of people and dogs. He loved everyone but quickly we've learned to avoid most dogs, the majority of which are unfriendly. As I said in some previous threads I posted here, he was attacked a couple of times by illegally off leash dogs who would run up to him and start attacking him unprovoked. He would shriek in fear, trying to escape. After the last attack where he received minor puncture wounds, I literally swore off ALL dogs. This is difficult as we literally see dozens of dogs a day, all day, constantly walking around the city. I set up play dates with his puppy friends but did not let him socialize with anyone else. I took him to a behaviorist who introduced him to a neutral dog. He was ecstatic to meet the neutral dog and tried to play with it. She told me she didn't sense any anxiety from him, and just to continue training him to ignore other dogs on walks.
> 
> ...


Have you made any big changes in your life recently, like moving, a job, a marriage? They say dogs have to adjust, too. I think you are doing all of the right things and maybe he will get over this. Could something have happened on play dates that you are not aware of. I'm confident he will get over it. Maybe you are trying too hard. Don't be so hard on yourself, there is NO SUCH thing as a perfect Mom or dad. They say that dogs do pick up on our fears/anxiety. I can relate to you, because I tend to worry and be anxious. 
Another idea I just had, has his thyroid been tested-have you talked to the vet about this? Sometimes a medical problem can cause behavioral issues.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

Have you discussed fear stages with your behaviorist? I read this a couple of times and it sounds pretty typical. Try searching "fear stages" on this board...there's lots of posts on the subject. I'm going through something similar with my seven-month-old...somewhere here I read about the flight stage, which is what some of what you describe sounds like. Griffey is suddenly conflicted about approaching new people...he starts in, leaps back, goes back and eventually settles down.

I get how worried we are about messing up our dogs...I worry because I live in a very remote area! But the fact is that you are doing everything possible for him, and given how close you two are, the more anxious you are, the more anxious he'll think he should be. Stop being so hard on yourself, ok?

I don't live in the city, so maybe I'm being clueless...but if he's great at class with other dogs and he has dog friends to play with, why does he need to interact with strange dogs at all? I don't interact with every stranger I see. Maybe all he needs to do is ignore them?


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Firstly, kudos to you for doing so well with your dog, you should be so proud of yourself, your commitment to training and working with him, is just fantastic. Understand that dogs can go through a fear /sensitive period between 8 and 14 months, where the find events or situations that they handled well before, scary or upsetting.

A couple of resources/groups on Facebook that may be helpful to you. Fearful Dogs by Debbie Jacobs, and CARE for Reactive Dogs, that can help you understand and work with his fears. 

Take the time to learn more, though it sounds like you have a solid foundation, about dog body language, their stress signals and behaviors they display that they use to communicate how they feel and with other dogs. 
The book: On Talking Terms with Dogs by Turid Rugaas provides the basics.

It sounds to me like you are the perfect dog mom, you are so committed to your pup. Things come up, stuff happens that worry us, things we may not understand, sometimes making us feel like we have 'failed' our dogs, but life is a learning curve, sometimes we move forward, sometimes we have to take a step back, it is all 'part of the 'program', hang in there, it will all work out!


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## goldenenthusiast (Jul 28, 2014)

Karen519 said:


> Have you made any big changes in your life recently, like moving, a job, a marriage? They say dogs have to adjust, too. I think you are doing all of the right things and maybe he will get over this. Could something have happened on play dates that you are not aware of. I'm confident he will get over it. Maybe you are trying too hard. Don't be so hard on yourself, there is NO SUCH thing as a perfect Mom or dad. They say that dogs do pick up on our fears/anxiety. I can relate to you, because I tend to worry and be anxious.
> Another idea I just had, has his thyroid been tested-have you talked to the vet about this? Sometimes a medical problem can cause behavioral issues.


I've made an appointment with his vet to discuss his anxiety and any possible underlying concerns. I feel that she might be skeptical about the thyroid suggestion since he is young, very fluffy, and not otherwise displaying any symptoms.

As for big changes, one recently is that my fiance has been out of town for a month. He travels quite frequently. However, this isn't the first time he's been out of town. He's been out of town for a month twice before since we got our dog, and he frequently travels for a week at a time, other times. I thought that my puppy should be used to him not being there. I did notice previously that he seems to be more subdued, bored, and behaved when it's just me, and he seems more rambunctious and naughty and playful when it's both of us.

My fiance is definitely the more calm, assertive, bold one of us. He's bossy and a leader. He doesn't do as much with my dog except play with him a lot and wrestle/roughhouse. I have always been the primary caretaker, trainer, walker, etc. When he's gone I do play with him a lot but our playing is not wrestling/roughhousing.

Another thing that I thought is a possibility? First of all my dog has been snarled at plenty by small dogs, and he seems better at ignoring/walking by them than big dogs. He's only been truly attacked by a large dog. There is a very aggressive Irish Setter in our neighborhood whose owners are, in a mild understatement, jerks. They let him run off leash (illegally) constantly, which is when he aggressively pinned my dog. They almost started a fist fight with my fiance when he told them to leash their aggressive dog. Not only were they not sorry about their dog attacking mine, they literally refused to leash him and instead started insulting us. Ever since then, I've seen them walking their dog on and off leash several times. While I try to avoid them, it seems they are deliberately leading their dog straight up to my dog to get a reaction. I wouldn't put it past them. Of course the Setter immediately goes ballistic being anywhere within 20 feet of my dog, which causes mine to jump fearfully. This has happened at least 3x in the past month. Could he be learning fear of big dogs from these incidents?


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## goldenenthusiast (Jul 28, 2014)

Noreaster said:


> Have you discussed fear stages with your behaviorist? I read this a couple of times and it sounds pretty typical. Try searching "fear stages" on this board...there's lots of posts on the subject. I'm going through something similar with my seven-month-old...somewhere here I read about the flight stage, which is what some of what you describe sounds like. Griffey is suddenly conflicted about approaching new people...he starts in, leaps back, goes back and eventually settles down.
> 
> I get how worried we are about messing up our dogs...I worry because I live in a very remote area! But the fact is that you are doing everything possible for him, and given how close you two are, the more anxious you are, the more anxious he'll think he should be. Stop being so hard on yourself, ok?
> 
> I don't live in the city, so maybe I'm being clueless...but if he's great at class with other dogs and he has dog friends to play with, why does he need to interact with strange dogs at all? I don't interact with every stranger I see. Maybe all he needs to do is ignore them?


You're right about strangers which is exactly why I try my best to avoid all the strange dogs we see. I'm trying to help him ignore them by using treats on walks. He definitely is not improving in ignoring strangers.

As I said it's inevitable being in the city that we encounter some. I simply can't avoid a stranger if I turn a corner and suddenly one is right there. I generally try to walk my dog during the heat of the day, which sucks, when there's no one outside. We can avoid dogs that way, but then we also rarely see his friends.


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## goldenenthusiast (Jul 28, 2014)

Some more observations about my pup's general behavior. He is randomly very confident about some things, but fearful of other things. I"ve always thought he was super confident, but in hindsight there were things he was weirdly anxious about.

For example, he hates water. Just hates it. I knew he hated rain as a baby, but we had no idea about this fear of water until we took him to swimming lessons at 6 months old. They literally just tossed him in the pool with a lifejacket and had him swim back and forth. He was miserable and spent the whole time trying to escape. I was naive and stupid and should have known that he should have gone in willingly and not be forced in. Ever since then, we have not forced him in water. His hatred of water still stands though. He makes a beeline for home, or tries to fine the nearest overhang as soon as it starts raining. I also once hosed off his muddy paws at his friends house. He kept acting like I was attacking him with a knife. He also met sprinklers for the first time this spring, and was not a fan. He decided he would rather walk all the way around the sprinklers. When we walk along the beach or lake, he looks down at the water (usually looking at ducks), but every time a wave crashes, he jumps or flinches. I had a dash of hope and pride the other day when he actually willingly approached some sprinklers and lapped the water with his tongue. I took a video and proudly praised him for finally expressing some interest in water!

Another thing is that he was fearful of stairs (more than 1 step) for awhile. I attributed this to living in the city and not having access to stairs. I tried to have him practice on some steps on the street near our home, but he refused to go up. When I lifted him to the top, he whined and didn't come down. Finally, at about 5 months, he started confidently going up and down steps. This seems like a later age than most pups I've seen, who are bounding up and down stairs very early on.

One time, as a 10 week old baby, he freaked out once, screaming and screaming and peeing himself when he possibly got slightly stuck under the couch? Even though as far as we could see, he wasn't truly stuck. We took him to the vet and they could find nothing wrong with him. After that, he avoided the couch for like a week and acted depressed and subdued.

He had an eye infection for awhile which required a couple trips to the vet and they were poking and prodding his eyes with machines and equipment. The next time we went to the vet, as soon as she walked in, he did a hunched back, tucked tail, fearful escape from her, then quickly started scratching himself, a calming signal. I recognized his fear right away, it was very clear. He usually loves all people and this was the first time he demonstrated any sort of fear. I found it reasonable at the time, since they had been poking his eyes, but again I wonder if it was an extreme anxiety response.

However there are other things that he was extra confident about that I was so proud of. In puppy class, he was the only one who ran through the agility tunnels right away. He's lazy, so he then proceeded to lay down in the tunnel, thinking it's a nice place to chill out.

He's not afraid of thunder and lightning. He might be startled if a firecracker goes off across the street, but he's not afraid of it. We have fireworks here all the time and he usually listens to it, then keeps sleeping or playing.

He loves the loud, noisy skateboards and chases them, then licks them and tries to play with them if he catches them.

He's attracted to commotion and is obsessed with the street drummers. It's a deafening drumming noise that annoys me, but he runs up to the drummers for petting.

He's also just so precocious and confident in class. The teachers love demonstrating with him because he does things perfectly right away. We are also doing rear end work in competition obedience class. This involves putting a bucket on the ground and have them put their paws on it and swivel their butt around. He's obsessed with the bucket and IMMEDIATELY put his paws on it. The teacher laughed that we created a monster because I can't get him OFF the bucket. I literally have to lift him off and then quickly whip the bucket away before he steps on it again. Compared to the other dogs who are like, "this is stupid, this bucket is suspicious, why do I have to stand on it like a circus freak."

So, with this examples, can you tell if his personality is more the confident type? I always thought it was which is why I'm shocked that these strange behaviors started manifesting recently. But thinking about the water especially, which most retrievers love, makes me wonder if he is naturally anxious...


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## SwimDog (Sep 28, 2014)

There are different ways in which people and dogs can be comfortable or nervous ( a person afraid of mice but not spiders, etc). Your puppy does seem to have been extremely afraid in many situations and that would make me create a very careful plan on how to move forward.


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