# I'm numb...



## RiverRat (Oct 3, 2007)

Two weeks ago we took our 6.5 year old Molly to the vet because she had a persistent limp in her right rear leg. Sometimes it seemed fine and other times she would hold it up or barely touch her toe to the floor. She also had some pretty significant swelling below her knee. We took her to our vet who took x-rays and determined the cause to be a torn ACL. We immediately got an appointment with the best canine orthopedic surgeon in our area and scheduled a surgery a few days later for what the orthopedic surgeon thought was not a torn ACL, but instead a torn long digital extensor tendon.

He called after the procedure and advised that both tendons were intact, but the swelling around her knee was a growth of tissue that was concerning. He said the interior of the joint was very much inflamed and the fluid throughout appeared abnormal. He took samples and sent them off for testing. We hoped that it was disseminated Valley Fever, as Molly had Valley Fever when she was a pup, but has been in "remission" for years. Test results confirmed that the lump was not caused by Valley Fever.

After a week of sleepless nights, a lump in my stomach and tears, we finally got the results of the testing today. It was determined that the mass on Molly's knee is a possible mast cell tumor, lymphoma, histiocytic sarcoma, or a plasma cell tumor. We won't know more until they complete additional testing for "mast cell granules". If that returns as negative, additional testing will have to be completed on the samples to determine what type of cancer it is.

I am numb. Our girl seems so happy and healthy. The limp is merely an annoyance to her. She eats and drinks heartily... it just doesn't seem real to me. We've always been so overly cautious about what we feed her (Orijen) and the highest quality treats. No people food ever with the exception of an occasional piece of banana which she loves. We've always been so careful about her health and now it just seems like a huge waste. All of that for nothing... It's so unfair. 

She's currently on Metacam, but does not seem to be in any sort of discomfort.

My husband and I are a mess. I don't know what to do......


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry to read this about your Molly. 

My thoughts and prayers to you all.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

I will be praying for a complete healing for your sweet Molly.


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## Susan: w/ Summit we climb (Jun 12, 2014)

I'm so very sorry. I wonder whether one of those immunity-enhancing supplements for dogs might help--or make it worse. I wouldn't know, but maybe someone else does. Don't give up hope!


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## kellyguy (Mar 5, 2014)

My heart goes out to you. I know that it's difficult to not fear the very worst, but until the results are in and you have a definite diagnosis it's impossible to know what the best course of action will be. Sending healing thoughts and prayers.


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## RiverRat (Oct 3, 2007)

Susan: w/ Summit we climb said:


> I'm so very sorry. I wonder whether one of those immunity-enhancing supplements for dogs might help--or make it worse. I wouldn't know, but maybe someone else does. Don't give up hope!



I just started looking at the products by K9 Immunity - Aloha Medicinals today. I still have a ton of research to do, but would be grateful for any input from anyone who has used these products.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I'm sorry to read this. Here is a good thread about entering the world of pet cancer
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...cancer-diagnosis-what-should-you-ask-vet.html


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. This forum and these people can be an incredible resource for knowledge and support. Unfortunately there are a lot who have been down this road, I hope you will find the community and help here that you need. Hugs for Molly and for you and your husband.


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## 2dogsandagrrl (Nov 16, 2010)

Check out a product called Shield4pets.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Welcome to the Forum. This community is a wonderful resource, especially for those dealing with cancer. Please do keep us posted.


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## RiverRat (Oct 3, 2007)

2dogsandagrrl said:


> Check out a product called Shield4pets.



Thank you so much for taking the time to send me that PM. I tried to respond, but my post count isn't high enough to send a message. I will definitely check out that product. 

Wishing you and your pup many more happy memories together.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

I have read some good things about using artemisinin [worm wood] as a holistic treatment for cancer. Just passing on to you what I have read. You would have to research it more.


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## mr3856a (Jan 19, 2008)

Hey, it definitely isn't all for nothing. By taking good care of her you've got her in optimal health to fight. My recommendation is to look into holistic treatments! My dog Max was given a death sentence 13 weeks ago, massive brain tumor, inoperable. I moped for a few days and then decided I had nothing to lose with trying herbal remedies, and I ain't an herbal remedy guy. He's responded, and has beat his diagnosis (which was 1-2 months) and he's doing well! 

Try:
Agaricus blazei 
Turkey tail
Canna-Pet® - The Medical Cannabis for Dogs and Cats (start her with the regular pills, then after a week or so order the Max CBD)

Google like crazy, "lymphoma holistic," "mast cell tumor holistic", and read. That's what I did. And all the stuff I'm giving him have no side effects. I could give him a pound of turkey tail a day and it wouldn't hurt him. They've been doing this in the Far East for centuries. You've got nothing to lose. Google and see if there's a Chinese medicine vet in your area. 

5-loxin is another one. And aside from the canna-pet, I got all this stuff off Amazon.com. You have nothing to lose!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Oh no! I'm so sorry! What an ordeal! You made some great efforts to keep her healthy, I know. It does seem unfair, doesn't it. My heart goes out to you dear.


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## MomofKoda (Apr 18, 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear about Molly. We had a similar situation with our <2 yr old Golden, Koda... limp, assumed torn ACL, it wasn't. This forum is a great place to share your thoughts and get words of assurance and support. You'll hear lots of suggestions too. Just remember that what you do is your choice and what is best for you, your family and your sweet Molly. Regardless of what you choose to do, the folks on this forum are here for you.

As for your care for Molly to date - I have no doubt you've made amazing choices for her and loved her greatly for the last 6.5 years. And she's one lucky Golden girl to have you. But the one thing I can tell you with all certainty - Cancer isn't fair. There's nothing fair about it. We lost Koda way too early (22 months). Cancer isn't fair. 

So my advice to you is... love Molly with all you have and make memories every day. Take pictures often. And be grateful that she has blessed your life and you hers. You'll be glad you did - however long she's with you. 

My prayers are with you as you begin this journey. Please keep us posted on how Molly (and you) are doing.


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## Trace228 (Sep 21, 2014)

*We just went through this too*

RiverRat,

We received the cancer (lymphoma) diagnosis for our sweet 3 year old Golden in July. We lost her on Labor Day. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope it is not cancer.

We tried adding a lot of holistic supplements, etc. to her diet. It may have improved the quality of those last few weeks we had with her. Please reach out to me if you'd like to talk about it.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I don't know if you would be interested but there is a holistic vet in Prescott that deals with Chinese herbs and has worked with many dogs here that have been dealing with cancer.

http://www.harmonyvetcare.com/

When you can PM feel free to PM me about this vet clinic. He has helped our goldens in the past.


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## RiverRat (Oct 3, 2007)

Well, after 45 days of pure hell, we have been given our diagnosis. Molly has histiocytic synovial cell sarcoma. As a faint glimmer of hope, my husband and I had come to the very difficult decision to amputate our girl's hind leg as the vet had said that it would essentially "cure" this type of cancer. Although the thought of it made us pause, it would certainly be a tough adjustment, but was a no brainer. We began to feel so lucky to have the option to have our beloved dog continue on with us in this life and share more time together. 

Our first step in this process was to confirm that the cancer had not spread. The morning after my husband and I made the final decision to move forward with the amputation, I took Molly in to have a chest x-ray and ultrasound done to determine if the cancer had spread as our first step towards this process. Our vet had told us that it was highly unlikely that this type of cancer would spread, so we were completely blindsided when he called that day to tell us that although the chest x-ray was clear, Molly had a spot on her spleen and an enlarged lymph node in her abdomen. 

The only way that I can describe the feeling of these past 45 days is the feeling of standing on the beach in the sun, enjoying everything about life and then being pummeled from behind and taken under by a wave in the ocean.... it's like being held under by the water, helpless, and no matter how much you struggle and pray in the grasp of the darkness, the ocean seems as if it will never return you to the surface, to the warmth of the sun... then finally, just when you think that you have no hope left, chest aching and body exhausted, you catch a glimmer of hope... You surface, and just as you begin to try to take a breath, another wave slams down on you, pushing you further into the cold, darkness of the abyss. 

I'm exhausted and destroyed. The worst part about it is that no matter how bad I want to fight this, no matter how much money and commitment I want to put into it, there is nothing that can be done. I would literally give anything, and yet, nothing can make it go away. 

Thanks for letting me vent....


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

Omg that's awful! I'm sorry for your diagnosis!


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## Susan: w/ Summit we climb (Jun 12, 2014)

I can't even imagine what this has been like, just when you thought you might be winning. I'm so very sorry about what is happening to Molly. At least, she knows you love her.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

RiverRat said:


> Well, after 45 days of pure hell, we have been given our diagnosis. Molly has histiocytic synovial cell sarcoma. As a faint glimmer of hope, my husband and I had come to the very difficult decision to amputate our girl's hind leg as the vet had said that it would essentially "cure" this type of cancer. Although the thought of it made us pause, it would certainly be a tough adjustment, but was a no brainer. We began to feel so lucky to have the option to have our beloved dog continue on with us in this life and share more time together.
> 
> Our first step in this process was to confirm that the cancer had not spread. The morning after my husband and I made the final decision to move forward with the amputation, I took Molly in to have a chest x-ray and ultrasound done to determine if the cancer had spread as our first step towards this process. Our vet had told us that it was highly unlikely that this type of cancer would spread, so we were completely blindsided when he called that day to tell us that although the chest x-ray was clear, Molly had a spot on her spleen and an enlarged lymph node in her abdomen.
> 
> ...


Hang in there dear. I know it's hard and overwhelming for you.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I'm so sorry. I know how completely destroyed this makes you feel.

There are drugs you can give her to try and slow down the spread and give you some time with her. Take lots of pictures, spoil her.

Shedding tears here for you.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I am so very sorry to read about Molly and her diagnosis. Cancer sucks!! However, all I keep thinking is how your first post said she still eats and is happy. Keep that in mind going forward. Our babies definitely live in the moment. I wish you all the best as you help keep your girl happy. Thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband and Molly!!


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## RiverRat (Oct 3, 2007)

My heart hurts. It's been almost three weeks since we had to say goodbye to our girl. We are broken. I miss her so much.


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

Those first weeks and months are the hardest...I'm sorry.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so very sorry .. run free sweet Molly


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## smmast95 (Nov 6, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss. In the last two months we have lost both of our goldens, one to lymphoma. The pain is unimaginable, but hang in there. Every day when i get upi think to myself how happy my Haley and Jonah were every single day ...and that makes me smile. You gave her a wonderful life.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I lost my Irish Setter, Boots, just like you lost your precious girl. But I was fortunate that he had lived to ripe old age of 12 1/2. This was in '97 and ever since if I see one of my dogs limp it scares me. One ended up having both knees operated on for luxating patella.

I know your breaking heart and I can only say I am sorry and to cherish the memories.


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## Susan: w/ Summit we climb (Jun 12, 2014)

RiverRat, you and Molly have been in my thoughts often since your first post. You had six good years with her, you were doing your best for her, and then suddenly it fell apart and turned into a nightmare. I'm so sorry about it all. I'm just glad you had those six happy years. And at least your girl didn't know that it could have ended differently. She only knew that her family loved her.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I'm so sorry. I've lost two Goldens to cancer and it was (and some days, still is) devastating.

We all want reasons when the horrific happens despite our best efforts, but I truly believe that there are many things that just aren't in our control. Cancer in our best friends is one of them.

The night we had to lose Boomer the emergency vet said to me, "We all know the incidence of cancer in Goldens and yet everyone wants one, anyway? Why?" (NOT the nicest human I've ever dealt with, let me add...)

I just looked at her, kind of baffled, and said from my heart, "Because they're wonderful."

You are among friends here and people who "get it," so feel free to post here when you need support or to vent or just to grieve. It will get easier...easy, never, easier, yes. 

My utmost sympathies to you and your husband.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

So sorry for your loss and the agony you are going through. You will find fantastic support on this forum in the days ahead.


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## Susan: w/ Summit we climb (Jun 12, 2014)

smmast95 said:


> In the last two months we have lost both of our goldens, one to lymphoma. The pain is unimaginable, but hang in there. Every day when i get upi think to myself how happy my Haley and Jonah were every single day ...and that makes me smile.


smmast95, I'm very sorry for your loss. Both Haley and Jonah gone in two months seems unfair. We'd like to know more about them, if you feel like writing more. I had a sweet Haley, too, though he was a male. We lost him to hemangio before his gold had a chance to turn white.


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## smmast95 (Nov 6, 2014)

Yes, it does seem unfair. Haley and Jonah were not related by blood lines, but they thought they were  Haley was our first and was truly my girl, she would have been 14 in January. Jonah came along two years later and was my spouses boy. We joked that Jonah was like a furry frat boy, all party. He was a big lover and protector of his family, especially Haley. Jonah passed away August 26th. In a 24 hour period of time he developed lymphoma. The lymph node swelling in his neck was so bad he went into respiratory distress and we made the difficult, but necessary decision to put him down. In the two months that followed Haley was broken hearted. We had never realized how dependent she had become on Jonah. We didn't realize he had become her ears. She began to really decline and spent all her time looking for him whether outside or in the house. When she had clearly reached her end we helped find him at the rainbow bridge. As a couple without children they had taken our special roles. We quickly went from a family of four to a family of two again. I know they are together now and that does help to ease the pain. Thanks for asking.


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## Trace228 (Sep 21, 2014)

*I'm so sorry to hear about your loss*

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss @RiverRat. The picture you posted of Molly looks so much like my Cami, who we lost 3 months ago. My husband and I are torn to pieces over losing her. She was just 3, also lymphoma.

The picture of Molly in your post from September looks identical to our Cami. I'm including a few pictures of her below. I miss her so much!!!

We are planning to get a puppy (another golden) in the fall. 

I feel your pain and again, I'm so sorry. Take care.


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## Melakat (Oct 9, 2010)

I am so sorry to hear about Molly and I can only imagine how hard it is to wait for all of the results. I just hate Cancer but I have read and seen stories of dogs that have had cancers on their legs survive for many years later. Let's pray for Molly too.


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## RiverRat (Oct 3, 2007)

I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for the wonderfully kind and supportive posts. It's been 124 days since we said goodbye to our girl. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her and the days without tears are still pretty rare. We'll be placing a memorial plaque on a mountain overlooking the Colorado River, Molly's absolute favorite place. Here is what it will look like (that's her picture too) - I'm happy with the way it turned out. We'll be placing her ashes in the river, as that is where she was always her happiest. I am not looking forward to letting her go completely, but that is where she should be.















The one thing that has been putting a smile on my face is the new space in my heart for our new baby. We decided to go a different direction, because, well, after you've had the best - and Molly was THE best - there was just no way that we could get another Golden again. 

So, please allow me to introduce Kaiya, our Australian Shepherd pup. She is healing our hearts with her puppy kisses and her wiggle butt. 

This is the day we picked her up (8 weeks):











And one of Kaiya driving the golf cart and overlooking the river.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

What a beautiful tribute to your girl. I love the idea of a plaque in her favourite spot. Your new baby is gorgeous. Molly will be smiling down from Rainbow Bridge.


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## Test-ok (Jan 15, 2015)

That's an awesome plaque.

And Kaiya's nose is oh so cool..


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## Susan: w/ Summit we climb (Jun 12, 2014)

Your memorial for Molly is just wonderful.

Kaiya looks like a thinker to me--a perceptive girl. That's my guess, anyway. My Summit is like that. You picked a great girl!


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

I love your memorial to your dog. What a nice idea. And I'm glad you've been able to move forward. Cancer is a devastating, unfair disease: it takes so many young dogs.


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