# Lost my Murphy



## Harleys Mummy (Aug 30, 2006)

Gayle, I am very sorry for your loss...this must be a very hard time for you all and if there is anything I can do to help even if its just listen please know I am always here.

You asked if this will get better, well I have never lost an animal but I have lost babies and I can say it time the pain will fade, you will never forget him but it will get easier. Right now it will be hard, and it will take a while to come to terms with what has happened but in time it will get easier. All I can advise you is to take time to grieve, to talk about how you are feeling and not bottle it up and don't rush yourself...just take it easy and in time it will get easier.

Hope this has been some help, and if you ever need to talk i am always here.

I am thinking of you and I am very sorry for your loss.

Rose x

Ps> One thing I also found that helped is doing something in memory, maybe this is something you could think about when the time is right. Maybe you could get a pet portrait of him and put it in a nice frame and display it. Or maybe you could make a special memorial garden for him or plant a tree etc in his memory. There are many ideas out there and these are only a few. But these are some of the things I found helpful and meant an awful lot to me.


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## goldencrazy (Dec 15, 2005)

murphy's mom - I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I lost my precious Abbey of 11 years this past December. She could not go to the bathroom in the morning, we rushed her to the vet where an x-ray showed a huge mass in her abdomen. Surgery revealed that it was not possible to remove it, so we had to make the same decsion that you made. The ache is almost unbearable, but it will dull with time - it really will - but you will never forget Murphy. We now a joy in our life named Tabitha. She was from a local rescue, and getting her into our lives really helped us to move on from the loss of Abbey. All the best to you during this awful period.


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## kowey (Feb 28, 2006)

Very sad. I am sorry. I recognise the pain you must feel: the emptiness and lost hope. I have felt it too. And will feel it again. And again... This is the sad lot of us GR-lovers.


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## AuntCare (Aug 14, 2006)

Murphy's Mom,

My heart goes out to you. When I lost Dexy to Hemangio two years ago I took to my bed for two days. It took months before his loss was not the biggest thing in my life.

Luckily I have many dog friends who understood my grief and one of my friends had a dog that needed walking . She has two Labs and one was injured so he needed rest, she didn't want to leave him home alone, so I walked her other dog. This allowed me to continue with my regular walking routine and kept me busy.

Maybe you can do some volunteer work at a local humane society of become a foster home for Golden rescue. Although you may wind up with a new dog.

C


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## RickGibbs (Dec 16, 2005)

I am also VERY sorry for your loss....I don't even know what to say...

We also had to make the same decision for our miniature dachshund, Buddy, last November, because he had suffered a severe back injury and couldn't walk anymore... We held on for a month or so, after his injury, hoping beyond hope that he would improve, but he was only getting worse...

I agree with Harleys Mummy, about doing something in memory of... We had planted a tree in Buddy's memory, and the kids really loved the idea.

Even though we said we couldn't do it, we ended up getting Samson a few weeks later. We didn't want to dishonor Buddy's memory by getting a new dog so soon. But Samson helps us to remember Buddy. Different actions or expressions at different times, and one of the kids will say, "Did you see that look? That reminded me of Buddy." So, I believe that Samson helps us remember Buddy...


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

Gayle:
I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost a golden to cancer in July. Boomer had been pronounced healthy at a checkup 4 weeks before he was diagnosed. After trying chemo and watching him spiral downward very quickly, we made the same decision you did. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have two sons 19 and 21 and they took it very hard. We are working on a scrapbook to remember Boomer and are planning on making a memorial garden for him this spring. We now have 16 week old puppy named Bailey. He can't replace our first golden, but he helps us to remember the good times we had with Boomer.

The pain in your hearts will get less with time, but I know that doesn't help right now. Murphy is happy and playing the all the other dogs at the rainbow bridge. If you haven't read it before, here is a great presentation of the poem. 

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html


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## LaurJen (Aug 10, 2006)

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is such a hard thing to deal with. We lost our first dog Easter weekend and we were all so sad for a long time. Does it get better? Yes it does. You never forget, it's just not a constant pain any longer. I agree that doing things in Murphy's memory will help you heal.


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## MILLIESMOM (Aug 13, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss, we lost our Brandy to siezures in Sept of 04 she had been having them on and off but they suddenly took their toll on her and we had to make that hard decision also. John my husband was beside himself with grief, he could not bring himself to go with me to the vet so my girlfriend whom I grew up with went with me. It was very HARD but I dont have to tell you that. We had her creamated with her favorite toy and she is in our livingroom where she can be with us always. We have since then adopted a Goldenlab mix to keep our other Golden from pining for her lost friend, Pearl...we know Brandy sent her to us. It will hurt for awhile but it will get better, please do post often and share stories and pics of your beloved Murphy.


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## sushiqueen (Sep 11, 2006)

*hemangiosarcoma*

Hi

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my yellow lab Casey last year to this...so I think. He was nine ( I felt shorted...this is on the young side) The same thing happened...the slowing down, not getting up when I got home and slower on walks. I too chalked it up to aging..and he didnt eat one morning and w/in 3 hours kaboom...out of no where!! Murphy ...and Casey were sick for a few months but we didnt know because these kinds of dogs dont show any signs...i think they dont want us to be sad.....

Any way....I researched and researched because I couldnt leg go until I understood why or what...since we hadnt a clue!! One vet who had seen him a week before for a skin sore suspected C...but wasnt sure...when he heard how casey passed all of a sudden w/ no warning he said that is classic HEM. 

Anyway....thoughts and prayers with you...by the way I am 40 and dont have kids and Casey was my everything..I couldnt move for weeks!!! Literally and my husband still cries a year later

I finally got it together and was able to bring in a new pup..tha'ts winston...my new golden...and well.........I will leave this for a different post but I am not quite bonding like I should.....

It will get better w/ Murphy;'s loss..it takes a long long time...but it will


Sincerely

Kim


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## Katiesmommy (Sep 10, 2006)

*Hi Gayle -
My name is Amy. I just wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss. *hugs**


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## PeggyK (Apr 16, 2005)

All I can say is that I am so very sorry for your loss. I think most of us here on the forum have endured the heartache of losing one of our Golden children. We all know what you are feeling. We have always gotten a new puppy shortly after losing one of our angels-it doesn't replace our passed golden, but, you can't help but laugh at the antics of a new puppy. Time will ease the pain, but the void will still be there. My thoughts are with you.


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## Brandy's Mom (Oct 5, 2005)

As others have said, you will always have a space in your heart for Murphy. In time, the spontaneous tears will subside, but I don't think they'll ever stop completely. 

Murphy taught you how wonderful goldens are, and one of the finest things you can do to honor him would be to love another one. 

I lost Reyna in January 2005, and sit here now with 2 goldens at my feet who we've brought into our home since then. I miss Reyna every single day and I always will. But I have learned that your heart expands each time you allow it to open. 

Robin


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## gold'nchocolate (May 31, 2005)

I'm very sorry for your loss  . I lost my 10 yr old golden, Sasha, a little over a year ago. I can tell you that it does take a while (I cried for days) but it's true that time does heal. It took 5 mo. before I was able to get my next golden pup, Jack, and 4 mo after that I got another golden pup, Biscuit. It was the best thing that I have done for myself. It didn't make me forget Sasha at all but actually helped me to remember the silly things that she used to do when I watched Jack and Biscuit playing. 

You will know when and if the time is right. Best wishes. We would love to see pictures of Murphy whenever you are ready.


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## jeffreyzone (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi Gayle,

I am sorry about your loss. You'll always treasure the relationship you had with Murphy. I agree with what Brandy's Mom said about how you'll always miss him, but your heart expands each time you allow it to open.

I live very near you (Norcross, GA), and one activity that I've found to help cope with grief is to work as a rescue volunteer. Adopt A Golden Atlanta has a program that calls for volunteer dog walkers; they temporarily board Goldens awaiting foster homes at a facility in Alpharetta. It's good for the soul to go and spend time with those sweet dogs; they are always so happy to see you.

In the immediate future, it might help to have a memorial service for Murphy. We did this for our beloved Austin, and it involved reading aloud a letter that we each had written to him. We conducted this service in our back yard one week after his passing, and it helped us deal with the overwhelming sense of loss.

If there is anything we can do to help, please let us know. 

-Jeff


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

I know its so hard, and we share your grief. When the time is right for you we look forward to hearing more about Murphy and what he meant to your family.


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## davebeech (Feb 11, 2006)

That's so sad, I know how it feels to have to make that horrible decision, but you know you did right for Murphy. I don't know if time really heals, it does get better though, I lost my Fred just over a year ago and I think of him every single day, but having Tom really helps, and he reminds me of all the great times we had.


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## Oralia Schatzman (Jun 12, 2006)

How agonizing for you and your family, to have him pronounced healthy and then be gone so suddenly. You have my prayers and sympathy now, and I hope that time and the empathy of the good people on this forum help ease his passing somewhat.


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## murphy's mom (Sep 18, 2006)

Thanks to everyone who posted on this thread. Your comments really helped. I picked up Murphy's ashes Saturday, and for now they are on my fireplace mantel (he liked to lie at the base of the fireplace). I just hate walking in the door, because I know I won't be met by a wagging tail and a pink tongue giving lots of kisses. My daughter has had him since kindergarten -- she will be graduating this year and wanted him to welcome her home from graduation.Thank you for all your kind thoughts...


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## davebeech (Feb 11, 2006)

I really do feeel for you, I hope you do something monumental with his remains, I know how hard it is for you.


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## AtticusJordie (Aug 15, 2006)

Our hearts go out to you, MurphysMom.  I think JeffreyZone had some good ideas--when the time is right. Volunteering at a local Golden Rescue is always appreciated--and it should help you through this terrible time. But only when you're ready.......

Our sincerest condolences to you and the family!

Scott J.


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## greg bell (May 24, 2005)

one thing everyone on here agrees on is how very much we love our dogs.. the only way to avoid this grief is to not have them and that just is not an acceptable option. 
It will get better but you never forget them. I still miss my first one..Penny... and she has been gone for 20 years.. 
I am deeply sorry for your loss.


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