# Jakey-Boo - Well loved, now very missed



## Devon (Nov 29, 2009)

It's been a little over a week since my wonderful Jake has passed on. It's been difficult for me to adjust, but I think I'd been grieving even before he underwent the exploratory surgery that revealed his stomach cancer. He was such a beautiful dog; my other half, our love, our protector.

Sadly, I think I knew what was coming. As a writer, I'd helped give my Golden boy a voice and helped him express how (I thought) he felt as he was going through his sickness.

I'd written this the day I'd brought him to the vet's office; it's something we actually did a few days before (sitting on the porch together, that is). Thank you for reading.

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*The Courage of a Golden Heart*​ by Kimberly Grenfell​ 

Patience. Little by little, one step at a time, we'll get you through this.

That's what she says, my alpha female. And I want to believe her; I really do. But I can feel it creeping up on me, seeping into my bones, making me old. It has for a while. 


We sit on the porch together, and I watch the woods surrounding the house, sense the darkness edging in. Our breath plumes, white and chilled. I feel the cold more, even through my double coat; it nips, stings, tightens my muscles. 

It never used to. Snow was my heaven, my haven, my release. I could run, play, lie down in a drift, roll in its powder with the glee of a Golden puppy. Now, the sickness has worn me thin, taken my warmth from me, makes me want to shiver. 

But I don't, because I don't want her to worry.


We sit on the porch together, and I listen to the woods surrounding the house, hear the night as it folds in. My stomach wrenches, hungry and pained. I'm starving, yet I'm unable to hold down food—well, not much, anyway. 

When was the last time I enjoyed a decent meal? I can't remember. Food was my love, my longing, my fulfillment. The crunch of kibble; its taste, sharp and alive against my tongue. It filled my body, energized my soul. . . . 

She tries. I know she tries, my alpha female. But rice sticks in my throat, and chicken—boiled, tasteless—leaves my breath smelling like a carcass. It makes me want to whine, complain.

But I don't, because I don't want her to worry.


We sit on the porch together, and I smell the woods surrounding the house, breathe in the crispness of late fall. She holds me, tight and desperate. Her familiar scent fills me with comfort, with memories of my youth.

Nine years I've been with her, my alpha female. Nine human years. Not long, even considering a dog's life. And I want nine more, I really do, only . . . I can feel it creeping up on me, seeping into my bones, making me old.

She holds me tighter, and I hear her breathing hitch, smell her salty tears, feel her face bury into my fur.

Patience. Little by little, one step at a time, I'll get you through this.

I want to say this to her, but I can't. Instead, I lean into her embrace and absorb her emotions with the patience of my breed.

And I wag my tail, slightly, because I don't want her to worry.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I am so sorry. _The Courage of a Golden Heart_ was just so true. That is the epitome of the Golden spirit.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

What a beautiful tribute to the golden soul. Your Jakey Boo is still watching over you, loving you every minute of every day.... just now on silent paws. Godspeed sweet boy..... you are SO loved.


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

I am sitting here, crying. You got it exactly right. That golden spirit . . .


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

That is so beautiful and sad. It is a very loving tribute to your sweet Jake. Know that he is still watching over you and loving you. One day you will get to see each other again and that tail will be wagging so fast and his smile so big. 

Run Free Sweet Jake. When you see my Beau give him a big kiss from his Mom and Dad. We miss him so much.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Kimberly, you "got" him, your Jake. I'm sorry for your loss...it's simply one of the most sorrowful events, to lose a beautiful golden companion. He's snuggled forever in your heart, just where he's supposed to be.


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

That was beautiful, and so true. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Every morning, no matter the weather, Max and I sit on the porch together. I drink my coffee, he has his puppy water - we watch the birds and the leaves and the snow in winter. This touched me so deeply - I am so sorry for your loss and so deeply grateful for the angel who snuggles at my feet every morning, as your Jake did with you.


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## NapaValleyGolden (Mar 24, 2008)

That was beautiful, I am so sorry for your loss. It's been almost one year since we lost our Jake, it is so hard.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

What a beautiful tribute .. I am so very sorry for your loss


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## Devon (Nov 29, 2009)

Thank you, everyone. And I truly feel for those who've lost their Goldens. It hurts so much (I think because they're love is so deep and special), but they'll forever be in our hearts, won't they? 

And . . . all of you just made me cry with your warm condolences!


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## Hudson (May 18, 2005)

What a loving tribute to Jake , you knew him so well, sorry for your loss. R.I.P Dear Jake.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Jake*

What a loving tribute to Jake and yes, they are forever in our hearts!!


I am so sorry for your loss, but Jake will always be with you and you will see him at the Rainbow Bridge.

It gets a little easier with time.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

How sad and how beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

That really got me, real tears here. I'm sorry you lost your Jake. I'm happy for Jake you were there for him and that you loved him so much. Sad but so beautiful.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Am so sorry for your loss , and a lovely tribute to him. Jakey will remain with you always, locked in the one place he has always been - in your heart.

Run free from pain and sleep softly Jakey


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## moverking (Feb 26, 2007)

These are not my own words, but have given comfort in my life.
Your tribute to Jakey was far more eloquent...
I'm so very sorry for the pain you're feeling...

And if I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
--behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
--both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.

"Ascension"
Copyright ©1987, Colleen Corah Hitchcock


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## Devon (Nov 29, 2009)

Thank you very much to everyone who's added their condolences. And moverking . . . thank you for posting that. It's something I needed to read. I'm sure Jake's waiting (as are all of our companions whom we've lost) and we'll be together again to take a long and wonderful hike through the forest of eternity.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss of Jake..and what a loving tribute to him.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I am sorry for your loss!


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## CarolinaCasey (Jun 1, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. That was a beautiful tribute, it brought me to tears thinking of Laura who we lost 1 year ago tomorrow, my birthday.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

I'm very sorry for you loss. Godspeed Jake.


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## FinnTastic (Apr 20, 2009)

That was very moving. I'm sorry for you loss.


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## Devon (Nov 29, 2009)

Again, thank you everyone. For all of you who've lost a Golden, I know how much it hurts, so thank you for sharing in my loss. Support is one of the greatest healers, and I'm very impressed how supportive everyone here is. 



> thinking of Laura who we lost 1 year ago tomorrow, my birthday.


 Oh my, Melissa. On your birthday? I'm so sorry.


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