# My heart hurts



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Tonka, he was a beautiful boy. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to dwell on the fact that one day too your boys will no longer be with you. Instead, make the most of each and every day you have with them. 

Life sometimes is far too short, but each day is a very precious gift, make them count.


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## Laurie (Sep 20, 2009)

MidasMom said:


> It has been two years today that my sweet Tonka passed. He was only eight years old and was taken by cardiac hemangiosarcoma. He went quickly, with no warning that he was sick. We played ball just hours before he collapsed. I helped him to the bridge just two hours later. What makes this doubly hard for me is that I lost his half brother to the exact same cancer just eight months prior, Molson, he was only eight years old as well. My heart hurts so badly right now. Anniversaries are so very difficult and I find myself swallowed in grief today. Molson and Tonka were my first goldens. They founded my love of breed and even though their lives were cut short I am thankful I had the time I did with them. I know this sounds terrible, but I find myself having a lot of anxiety about my boys now, my Midas and Graham. Its like I am in constant fear of losing them. Having lost my first two to tragically, so suddenly, I have this crazy fear of losing them too. Does that make any sense? I hate that feeling, sometimes it is all consuming. Its very difficult to put that feeling aside some days, but I have to for my own sanity. Please remind me to take a breath, enjoy my boys while they are here, not to take a moment with them for granted, and to consider myself blessed every minute they are here with me. Thanks for understanding. P.S: Cancer stinks!


I'm sorry for the loss of your boys...both to cancer.

This makes perfect sense as I do it all the time. With Reno now having cancer and knowing my days with him are limited, I am forever worrying about Austin and Lincoln. I think about it and get a lump in my throat, my legs go weak and I just start crying. I'm terrified of losing Reno and don't know how I'll manage. But like you, I have to keep telling myself that my other boys are happy and healthy and pray they'll stay that way for many years. Having said that, I am just so paranoid!!!! You're right, we just have to enjoy and cherish every moment we have with them.

Yes...cancer does stink!!!!


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm so sorry that you are so sad today, but I sure do understand. These days bring back the memories as if it were yesterday. I hope the love they shared with you will help you to be happy and share Midas and Graham's joy of life.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Am so sorry that you lost both of your boys to the same awful cancer - you're so right Cancer stinks.

I think many of us are paranoid about the "C" word, and worry and fret about it, but sadly we have no control over it. I hope you have many many more years with Midas & Graham and that they continue to bring happiness and joy to your life

I am sure that Tonka and Molson will continue to watch over you from the bridge, and that the happy memories of your lives together will help you through what is a tough day


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## luvbuzz (Oct 27, 2010)

Sept 21st was the day I lost my first Golden, Tazz. Same diagnosis, hemangiosarcoma. 4 years later and I still miss him and think about him. Buzz came into my life shortly after Tazz. I worry about him and that horrible cancer diagnosis. I know how you feel.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry you are sad today. These anniversaries suck. I know how you feel. My Beau didnt die from cancer but I have lost loved ones to the disease.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am sorry today is sad day to remember. Your Bridge boys brought love and joy in your life and two new babies to love. Just remember, there is no better way than take it one day at a time, appreciate the moment and enjoy in what you have, do not worry about future, live in present.


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## Rainheart (Nov 28, 2010)

I am so sorry to hear about your boys on this hard anniversary. Hugs to you today.


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## ebenjamin85 (Apr 13, 2008)

Laurie said:


> Yes...cancer does stink!!!!


I don't think there is a way to say it better. Thankfully I haven't lost a dog to cancer, as Samantha was my first (as an adult), but I did loose my mother to the awful disease.

I'm so sorry for your loss and totally understand how you're feeling. Just last weekend would have been my mother's 50th birthday, just over two years after her passing. It's tough, but something that definitely helped me was to keep busy. I actually took my licensing (for teaching) exam on that day (9/17). I was nervous to schedule it knowing what the date fell on, but was thankfull that my mind was for the most part, elsewhere.

Sending healing thoughts your way and hoping for a cure in the future, for both furry and human being alike.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*MidasMom*

MidasMom

I am so very sorry you lost both of your boys, Tonka and Molson, so close together. We lost our Snobear and Smooch 8 months apart.

Very glad that little Graham is there to comfort you.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

The last 11 months have been very tough for me. One of my losses was my golden - copper. I am so worried about people and animals I love dying. I am trying hard to work through it, but it seems that every time I make progress there is another loss.

It does seem to get easier as time passes with everyone and everything doing well. I am hoping that as time goes by I will be able to let go of the fear. I think that as the months go by with Graham doing well you will be able to become less fearful too.


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