# "R to the Fourth Power" The Math Story



## CAROLINA MOM

This is just great, love it.


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## tine434

THE TURTLE:
We have had an unwanted visitor breaking into our yard for a few weeks now. Well, after many attempts to relocate him, we decided we actually like him. So instead of moving him i left his hole open so he can come and go as he pleases, so far so good! He usually visits and when we start playing in the yard he will leave and come back later. 

Well today he came to visit us, but I had no idea he was there so I let the dogs out unsupervised. Within a few minutes I seen all 3 dogs circling the turtle, all overly excited. I had a moment of panic that the turtle would get hurt so I slung open the door and in one long swoop jumped onto the porch and began running to the turtle's rescue. Except, I did not run at all. I twisted my ankle and landed smack dab on my face. Luckily I caused enough ruckus that all the dogs looked up at me, so I opened my mouth to call them all off of the turtle... Except for I didn't call them at all, I laughed! That little gopher turtle was hissing and chasing them all back to the door for me!

Well out came DH to round the pups in, AKA, save their life from the big bad 4lbs turtle.

Now the dogs are much less excited to say hello to their friend. I may give him a name soon, as he's a frequent dinner guest and all. His favorite is doggy poo, or grass right around the poo. :yuck: . We are also trying to get the pups accustomed to him visiting so that they hopefully will learn to leave him alone  Maybe we will call him "Raphael"!


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## Belle's Mom

Love the new thread!

So are you OK after the turtle episode or are you all banged up? 

(I assume Raphael is after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - too cute)


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## jennretz

Love your stories!!!


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## tine434

Belle's Mom said:


> Love the new thread!
> 
> So are you OK after the turtle episode or are you all banged up?
> 
> (I assume Raphael is after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - too cute)


I'm banged up lol. I've had ice packs on my ankle, but DH says moving it will actually help so that's what I have been trying to do. He has visited every day that we were gone on vacation, according to my mom. I can't help but be a bit smitten, he is awfully cute and smart as a whip too! Digging new holes to keep coming back. I figure he must need or want something we have (doggy poo I think) so why even fight it lol. And yes, keep up with the R theme and have him named after a ninja (; lol


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## mylissyk

I love your stories! I think you could easily turn them in a fantastic kids book series.


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## hubbub

tine434 said:


> ...our household in terms of math "R^4" And I loved that idea! Don't know us? Well, here is your chance!


I LOVE this!!! Especially love that you used the caret for the 4th power - which my brain couldn't come up with originally. 

I'm officially following the adventures to come!


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## tine434

REM:
I got in lots of trouble today... Momma called me "Quiet" all day, and by her voice I know that isn't my good name. 
Told you moms do not know anything...
Daddy had to work overtime so I had to be man of the house, that's how it works right? So I sat at the window and barked if I heard a noise or seen anything suspicious. There was loud noises all night too, and rain. So there was lots to be suspicous of. I was letting those noises know there was a big dog on gaurd, even though daddy's away. I had a plan if anything bad happened... I would lick






the bad guy a lot to give mom enough time to get away. That's a good plan right?

Well, I didn't leave mom's side. I watched TV with my head on her lap and then I laid in the bathroom while she showered, I actually tried to climb in but she wouldn't let me :uhoh: I also tried to crawl in bed with her, but she wouldn't let me do that either. (I learned how to put my front paws on the bed while momma was on vacation, hehe.... I don't think she was very impressed though).

I also got in trouble for opening the suit case and pulling daddy's socks out.... I was only trying to help unpack... And maybe I miss him a little and just wanted a sniff 

Phoo. It was a long day of gaurd duty, I am really exhausted now so I finally decided I'd have to let Rascal take over for the rest of the night.


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## Jennifer1

I love this!
My friend had a turtle that set up residence in their yard. They named him Stumpy, luckily it was just a name and not a description! My Bear got to pick him up and parade him around the yard once. Luckily he just hid in his shell and she had a soft mouth.

They fed him lettuce and tomatoes and cucumbers occasionally to supplement whatever he was finding on his own


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## Wendy427

Love all the stories!


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## Deber

Love the stories, but have to ask if having all your "gang" with R names,,,do you ever have a brain drain and can't yell out the name you want? I named mine all different names because I am the worst at this.

Growing up our family's best friends named their kids with a "K" name. Their Mom would yell out to the kids, get names wrong, and really end up saying a sound that sounded like "KKKKKKK" (we thought this was sooo funny). Kids were Kathy, Keitha, Kaylyn, Kerry & Kevin (husband was Keith).


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## Ljilly28

That looks like a very fun family for a dog , cat , or human!


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## tine434

Deber said:


> Love the stories, but have to ask if having all your "gang" with R names,,,do you ever have a brain drain and can't yell out the name you want? I named mine all different names because I am the worst at this.


Well Rascal I got 6 years ago and I did not name him my ex did (got him as Oscar cause his brows were white he looked like an old grouch, but those went away so he got renamed), about 1.5 years ago we got Roxy who was prenamed. Then Rem, I wanted "Duece" AKC Chuckin Up The Dueces Allday.... but that seemed too close to another word if I were to holler for him at a dog park. So we decided a gun name, as he loves guns and hunting.
Red came prenamed also! Haha. So it wasn't meant to be this way, it just HAPPENED lol


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## tine434

WAKE-UP ROUTINE
Good morning from all of the crew!! What a start to my day. I laid in bed for about 2 hours dreading getting up  And with good reason!! 
I let the pups out to potty and i noticed Rascal had scratched up the backdoor seal. A large bug, very very large bug, had gotten on the porch and Rascal seen him and figured if he scratched the seal enough, he could get out to it. Well, Rascal was still inside but I did have to wrangle up this very large beetle and get him off the porch.

After breakfast I had to do laundry from vacation. The pups were being SO GOOD!! It was quiet aside from the growling, teeth clashing, and furniture being knocked over. I call that a good day! And then it happened. It got quiet, like I could hear the fan in the living room and kids outside kind of quiet.... Then BOOM!!! Like a clash of thunder. I guess Rem and Red were having a stand off and then decided to zoom at the same time, the same direction. Rem came out with a busted eye.... A cut from the corner onto his nose kind of, bleeding everywhere. So I played doctor and then let him outside to separate them. Well, I finished folding laundry and went outside to find he had pulled a log from the firewood and was eating away like it was dessert!! I also found his newest holes he dug while we were on vacation...

I let him back in (after I had to tell him he could NOT bring the log with him) and settled down for a puzzle... Caught him RED HANDED about to pull the laundry off the bed! Tsk, tsk.

Well, after that everyone was exhausted so I got to enjoy my puzzle.... Until I hear a far off licking and munching noise. All the dogs at my feet, what could it be? Well of course, Rascal! On the table chewing away at my anniversary flowers! Which now look like a caterpillar got ahold of them.

Whew.... Is it nap time yet?


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## tine434

Disclaimer:

These stories are not dramatized or exaggerated. I leave many details out, because from 7am-11am and then 3pm-9pm my home is literally a circus  I may consider selling tickets for those who wish to observe lol


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## hubbub

In the picture where he's chewing the log, that is one satisfied look on Rem's face - maybe even a smirk


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## tine434

RED:

Sometimes I get jealous because Rem gets all the attention. I know it's cause he is a puppy tho and so he is always into trouble.

To make me not feel left out today, mom and me trained some and then she brushed my coat and told me how beautiful it was. She says I look so different than when I first came home months ago. (She said she needs to find an old picture!) After my brushing I went and laid out in the sun and enjoyed all the birds and butterflies. I don't normally do that because I am scared mom may lock me outside like my other families did, so to make me feel better she will sit outside with me so I can relax. That's what she did today.

I love to play and play, but I'm a happy boy just to be cuddled or take a nap. I also love to bring people toys. Anyone. When a visitor comes over, I sometimes feel silly for forgetting my toy so I have to run and get it to bring it to them. It's even better if they throw it or play tug of war with me! I love when people visit, btw. I am the only one mom let's stay near the door cause she can trust me not to jump, bark, or get too excited when someone comes over!


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## pb2b

I love this thread! Henry and Rem have a lot in common. 


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## tine434

pb2b said:


> I love this thread! Henry and Rem have a lot in common.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


So.....
....
You wanna babysit?  hehehehe


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## Belle's Mom

How is Rem's eye after the crash?

Also - how is your ankle and bruises?


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## tine434

Belle's Mom said:


> How is Rem's eye after the crash?
> 
> Also - how is your ankle and bruises?


My ankle is much better. It sort of always has this constant sharp pain like it needs to pop lol. But I am walking(hobbling).
Rem's eye is already scabbed over after a good cleaning up and a few hours of being kept calm (er...).


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## mylissyk

Wait, the cat didn't get equal picture time!


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## tine434

Cause when I seen him I went "Rascal!" And he took off like a jet plane and hasn't been seen since


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## pb2b

tine434 said:


> So.....
> ....
> You wanna babysit?  hehehehe



Ummm.... No thanks! Haha 


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## tine434

REM:
We had LOTS of thunderstorms this afternoon but daddy was home so we got to play BALL inside the HOUSE!! 
And it was SO MUCH FUN! Momma and Daddy bought us all a new red squeaky ball, but Red got in trouble because he got possessive over it with momma and me. That's OK though cause afterward we all practiced our "drop it" "leave it" and "take it" commands and got yummy treats. Red just really really loves that one ball, I get it... I love my crackle ball almost that much. EXCEPT I know never ever ever to keep it from momma or daddy. Mom says Red will learn with time. I hope he doesn't anytime soon cause those chicken treats we got during his training were yummy....

You see us waiting for the ball to be thrown? We are all 3 good at catch. Well, Roxy needs little miniature balls for catch as her mouth is tiny. (You should see her little teeth!). She tries to squeak our big tennis ball, but she just can't make it squeak.... 

Red did not play as many games as he just liked to squeak the new ball and then got lots of practice with his drop its! That's why he isn't in any fun pictures.

I sure do love rainy days and my daddy....


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## tine434

Rascal watched the rain all evening, and watched the boys play ball (; I think he got mad cause we were all so loud and disturbed him


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## Deber

Your family is precious and the love is flowing. This is the way it is suppose to be! Great pictures of all.


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## tine434

ROXY:

Mom says I am too scruffy, and a mutt whatever that is. She calls me scruffy mutt! Well, looks like I may need a hair cut, what ya think?


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## tine434

Roxy attacked Red during a game of bite face.

Rascal chased a moth that got into the house til he was completely exhausted.

Red and Rem played in the heat and them came inside and enjoyed "airing out"

And Red thought my pink bottle smelled sooooo good that it had to be a treat!!

I worked today, so no horror stories  Hubby put up with those!


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## tine434

I was freaking out thinking Roxy had sneaked out of the fence after a squirrel or something! I looked EVERYWHERE!! She never had gotten out before, but she does love chasing things! 

Well.... Can YOU help me find Roxy? (;


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## ZeppGold

I think she is hiding from the cat. The cat knows.


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## tine434

I think the cat probably pushed the blanket off on top of her in a murder attempt lol


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## tine434

Can anyone guess what Red is doing?
Hint: I wouldn't pet him at the time (;


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## Belle's Mom

oh Roxy - that was cute - felt like I was playing "where's waldo".

on Red.....hmmm......expressing his anals???......I have a girl so I am not as familiar with the boy stuff if he was doing something with that.....


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## jennretz

not quite sure what red's up to, but am thinking "no good!!!"


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## tine434

He was using the door frame to scratch his back. Silly boy, he usually opts for the screen on the porch! But it was time to eat so he didn't want to risk missing food


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## tine434

OUR ADOPTED RED-HEAD:
I love Monday and Tuesdays because DH is off and I work, so I get to ignore the crazy at home while he handles it... But alas, today is Wednesday so it is my turn again! I don't want to get out of bed and face the morning zoomies and chewies and barkies yet, so I was flipping thru some pics.

I am so proud of Red. I remember the first day I picked him up thinking "Omg, I have 3 whole hours in the car with this boy! Please let us make it!" 
And he was a complete angel.
Then I remember him lunging and jumping at other dogs cause he wanted to play and I was thinking "Omg, is he going to bite me to get away???"

We have done little training with him when it comes down to it, but to see the change is absolutely amazing. He greets people nicely, on a jog with his dadsy the other day he had a lab come running and snapping at him and he didn't even take a second look. He's such an amazingly good boy.

The worst thing now is he is attention hungry lol. While the others are napping he refuses to settle. Always bringing me a new toy hoping that will be the toy I decide to play with or the one that will get him extra good cuddles.

Note his head on my Surface Pro while I was trying to use it lol.

Now.... If only Rem can catch up on manners lol! ?

P.S. oddly enough, Red loves people but out in public he doesn't seek out their attention. Even if they pet him they never have his full attention. He's very much attached to his owners. I want to see how he is off leash one day when I am brave enough (in a safe fenced area but with people. Maybe a golden event) Rem on the other hand, who comes from a long line of therapy dogs, when he sees someone he wants to pet him (everyone) they get a sit and stare down until they give in and love him lol he's a hoochie!


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## NewfieMom

CAROLINA MOM said:


> This is just great, love it.


I agree. *CAROLINA MOM* was referring to the introductory remarks about all the pets, and those remarks are absolutely charming and very amusing. I like all of them, but Red's especially stand out! 

NewfieMom


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## tine434

NewfieMom said:


> I agree. *CAROLINA MOM* was referring to the introductory remarks about all the pets, and those remarks are absolutely charming and very amusing. I like all of them, but Red's especially stand out!
> 
> NewfieMom


Red stands out every day. 

As my last post says, I am just so proud and amazed by him. He is really the greatest dog. I love Rem, more so than I could have imagined. Rem is my lover-boy as I call him... But he has been raised and pampered and pruned since day 1.. To see how Red is after at least a year of being tied to a tree and told how bad he is, it is AMAZING!


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## tine434

Belle's Mom said:


> oh Roxy - that was cute - felt like I was playing "where's waldo".


You should have been panicking mom just to find out she had slipped inside and curled up for a nap away from her crazy brothers lol. Whew. Almost gave me a heart attack. She was conked out tho, let me tell you!


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## tine434

Finally Sunshine and Rem!!

Uhoh,
Mom says we've been a handful today. It has been raining every day all weekend and week! Today it was bright and sunny so momma took us to sit in the yard. Well, lucky us! The wind had blown our pool over and the water filled it up really really high! So we ran and ran and splashed and dug holes in the yard (oops...)

Red barked a lot while chasing Roxy cause she had a lot of energy so she was running faster than he could! He would bark for her to slow down, but nope. She was as fast as a rabbit!

Mom said there was one problem, our pool is on the patio by the porch... And every time we would dive in or splash around, she would get wet! Once we may have splashed water all over her work notebook! She laughed but I think she said something about animal control, uhoh.

We were just so happy to be able to play. Even Roxy barked today! She barked at a squirrel though, he would not come down and play. Now we are all dripping wet, including momma thanks to us, and having good summer time fun!

Momma keeps having to get onto me though cause I tried to eat a frog once, then I bit my brother too hard and he got upset. It was an accident tho, I was so excited to be able to play! 
Mom also got a picture of us eating grass, uhoh. She says we really should stop.


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## tine434

Roxy:

Daddy gave me this amazing new bed. At least I think it is mine because he did lay me on it...

I had to fluff it up as it hasn't ever been a bed before... But I accidently fluffed it so hard that I fell off... Oops.


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## tine434

RED:

Momma played with my ear today, and it was nice. I almost fell to sleep and one point and began to sway back and forth and almost fell down. 

I think all humans should give their doggies ear rubs. You should get off your computer now and give them rubs  and they can thank me later.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni

And they all lived happily ever after!

Wonderful. Thank you.


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## JanetBionda

Loving your stories! I check back every day to see if you've posted more.


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## tine434

The Neighborhood Kids:.

So our young neighbor approached us asking if he could mow our lawn for $20 because he wants an XBox Bluetooth ear piece, he's about 10-12 I'd guess. We adore him so we said ask your parents and if they say yes then of course you can!

The next day he got off the bus and showed up with his little push mower ready to work. Well, it takes hubby about 1-1.5 hours to do the grass and initially our neighbor was doing great! Then as we went to offer him water we noticed he had stopped and was nowhere to be found. A few later we seen him show back up but now he had a young friend who was operating the mower for him. Ok, that's fine. We'll then both of their sisters show up.... So now we have 4 kids in the yard! Well, he began mowing around 3:30.... At 7:30 last night our lawn was finally finished after many stops, talking, etc.

At about 6pm our pups had to potty. I had kept everyone inside up to that point and we actually had to work with Rem who initially wanted to bark at the kid mowing the grass in his yard >. < uhoh....

Well, Kevin opened the door to ask if they were scared of dogs before we let anyone out and BAM! Out runs Rem! Full speed, all 80+lbs of clumsy, flopping ears and jaws, slobber slinging everywhere. I felt life go into slow motion as I look at this poor little 40lbs max kid standing there, skinny as a rail and obviously not hit his first growth spurt yes, he spews out he's scared of big dogs! 

I dart from the kitchen, out the back door (think of the turtle day again) and right as I go to scream Rem's name, up in the air his front paws go. Great, now I am about to see him trample this scared little boy with kisses! Uhoh...

And then he skids to the side and lands, sitting, in perfect heel position, next to the little boy with his head leaning in toward his hand. WHAT? Did Rem just control himself on his OWN? And behave nicely?? Yes he did!! And there he sat getting loved on by all 4 kids. So we let everyone else out obviously and the pups enjoyed company while they pottied. Whew..... Close call.

But now today everyone is still exhausted from the excitement 

Good Boy Rem!!


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## hubbub

My girl always ran full steam to kids and came to the most amazing stop instantly in front of them. 

The only problem was one time she ran to see our neighbor's daughter who had just come home from church. She had a lollipop in her hand and, after Hannah sat down, she took it right from her hand. :doh: I was shocked and before I could speak, the little girl took it from Hannah's mouth (with no problem) and said, "That's mine Hannah." She set the lollipop on the ground and petted my girl. We talked for a few minutes and then her dad called her to come in. She picked up the lollipop (I thought to throw it away) and put it in her mouth before walking back home. :yuck: I didn't tell her parents


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## tine434

Hahahaha!!! Ew... I shared an ice cream cone with my cat when I was a little girl :gross:


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## tine434

Lazy day....

I go back to school next week, so it's a whole weekend of pajamas and relaxing.


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## CAROLINA MOM

What a great story, pictures would have been great, but I have a priceless mental picture of Rem sitting next to the little boy and all the kids loving on them all.


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## tine434

CAROLINA MOM said:


> What a great story, pictures would have been great, but I have a priceless mental picture of Rem sitting next to the little boy and all the kids loving on them all.


I was so deathly afraid initially that this little boy would run home talking about our aggressive dog... Then afterward I was so relieved that I couldn't even think to go in and grab my phone! Lol


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## tine434

LOST COUSIN

So this cat showed up a couple weeks ago and came to visit again today. He (maybe she) sits and talks to Rascal for hours through the window.

Pretty sure they look like they're related!

Rascal doesn't know what to think about the whole situation.


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## hubbub

Long lost cousin - *R*unaway?


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## mylissyk

I wish you had your camera handy for the perfect heel sitting position next to the little boy!


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## tine434

We all have loved each other all afternoon and been good pups.
Daddy is off tomorrow and they said they had a special trip planned for us. Yay!


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## tine434

Raphael:

Guess who came to visit today?!?

Red has his cone back on, he got a hot spot on his elbow. Uhoh.....


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## JanetBionda

That is too funny! The turtle seems right at home.


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## Belle's Mom

I was thinking that was a cone looking item in the bottom left of the pic where your husband's hand is attacking Rem. Poor baby. Looks like maybe a more durable cone than the plastic....


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## tine434

Belle's Mom said:


> I was thinking that was a cone looking item in the bottom left of the pic where your husband's hand is attacking Rem. Poor baby. Looks like maybe a more durable cone than the plastic....


Yeah, haha... The cone is soft and more durable.
The spot is a small one on his elbow and it is mostly healed but he still tries to lick it! So he is stuck with the cone


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## tine434

You know, the usual. Playing with muh daddy! He bows and I bow and then we take off after eachother! Daddy is fast though, and he's strong. Sometimes he pushes me over and that makes me super excited so I get zoomies all over the yard!


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## Belle's Mom

I was thinking (afraid) maybe Rem was helping with licking the hot spot too.....glad it is healing.


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## jennretz

tine434 said:


> Yeah, haha... The cone is soft and more durable.
> The spot is a small one on his elbow and it is mostly healed but he still tries to lick it! So he is stuck with the cone


Poor guy with his hot spots! That's his second one isn't it?


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## NewfieMom

tine434 said:


> You know, the usual. Playing with muh daddy! He bows and I bow and then we take off after eachother! Daddy is fast though, and he's strong. Sometimes he pushes me over and that makes me super excited so I get zoomies all over the yard!


Wonderful photo!!!

NewfieMom


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## tine434

jennretz said:


> Poor guy with his hot spots! That's his second one isn't it?


He had one on his back, one on his cheek, the bad one behind his ear then he didn't have another one until 2 days ago when this one showed up (so almost a month from the bad one showing up, a week or 2 of it being healed).... but that's actually 4 of them.


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## Karen519

*Picture*

What a great picture!!


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## mylissyk

Poor guy with the hot spots. Have you had his thyroid checked? Hypothyroid can cause all kinds of things, hot spots included.


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## tine434

mylissyk said:


> Poor guy with the hot spots. Have you had his thyroid checked? Hypothyroid can cause all kinds of things, hot spots included.


He began drinking a lot of water again yesterday and peeing several times in one visit outside, a LONG time, steady stream. We are worried about his thyroid now also.


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## tine434

Rascal hanging with his siblings.


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## tine434

When we take him, where do we tell them to send it to? Isn't there one place people suggest cause thyroid can be normal for other dogs but low for goldens


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## JanetBionda

Just happened to be looking up that information, Dr Dodds with hemopet seems to be the most highly recommended:

Hemopet Hemolife Veterinary Diagnostic Laboratory

I've read in several places on this forum that a low normal for Golden Retriever is too low.


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## mylissyk

tine434 said:


> When we take him, where do we tell them to send it to? Isn't there one place people suggest cause thyroid can be normal for other dogs but low for goldens


Most vets have a local lab they use. Just be sure to ask for a full panel not just T4. And if it is in the low end of normal ask for meds. Low normal is low for most Goldens.

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## tine434

I'm stressed about Red... I want our boy to be healthy and live a long, healthy life. Worst thing is I am in school right now then leave for the weekend with my mom..... I will be missing and worrying about him. He stopped the peeing habits again, it seems to come and go which I find even more worrying. He always drinks a lot of water, but randomly will pee insane amounts and then other times be normal for a long time. Can't wait to get him in...

In the mean time, look at this cutie. This was right after her blanket got washed, it just came out of the dryer!


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## JanetBionda

Awwww. He is a darling.


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## tine434

Red:

My poor boy....
The past 2 days he has had this eye discharge as seen in the pic...

And the pic of the water bowl, it's a LARGE BOWL, he drank it down that much by himself then continued to drink alongside Rem, then tried to keep drinking after Rem walked away. I finally took the bowl up. I would say he easily drank CUPS and cups of it.

He's held his bladder fine for 2 days, but his drinking has always been a ton. Not always maybe, but for a long time. Definitely since he got the steroid shot but that's been well over a month. 

I looked up low thyroid symptoms but none were what I've heard on here so I assumed the lists were missing what is seen in Goldens anyway. Hoping it is just something super simple and treatable.

Waiting on 9am to call the vet.....


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## RSHANNING

I really enjoyed reading these stories on your dogs. It made me smile. I can sure feel the love for your babies,


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## tine434

Rem:

Momma came home from school!!!


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## Belle's Mom

Great pic - Don't you just wish you could pick them up and carry them around like a baby.

Did you have a chance to call the vet on Red or not with school today?


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## tine434

Belle's Mom said:


> Great pic - Don't you just wish you could pick them up and carry them around like a baby.
> 
> Did you have a chance to call the vet on Red or not with school today?


Yes.... I miss him being so small!

I did, no appointments before I had to leave for class though. My husband will have to take him Monday on his off day it seems. I leave again for the rest of the weekend  bluh.


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## tine434

There has been so much going on and so much stress to try to process..... Things are hectic around here, not in the usual lovey way bit in an O-M-G life won't slow down kind of way.

Hopefully I'll be back soon with some good news. For now, I wasn't sure if I'd posted these or not so here ya go!

Btw, finally got Rem sleeping in a bigger crate! Guess my boy decided it was time to grow up!


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## tine434

RED:

This update is really about everyone but mainly Red. Attached is a before and after pic of him, notice the hair thinning????

Well the vet checked his urine concentration, and is going to test for thyroid on Tuesday that way we get the results Wed I think he said. The vet said his undercoat seems in great condition and overall he seems healthy and happy. I got Red at 58lbs, last visit he was 62 and this visit he was 60lbs. The urine concentration was low but the vet said nothing extreme, and that the low could be from drinking too much water. He said if he was a bit older he'd be more concerned about kidney issues. The vet said the water consumption could be the heat we've had as Red is used to being in Northern GA. He said same for the hair loss even, as this is Red's first summer in the heat. But he's still checking all avenues.

At the vets office Red gets excited when hyper or rowdy dogs come in, he barks and lunges and jumps. I believe 100% he wants to play. Other people do not lol! Out of 10 dogs there, he only got excited over 3 smaller hyper dogs. We need to work on that behavior 

Now about the rest of us....
As you all may know I graduate with my MSW in May. Husband has a chance to relocate jobs to Florida or Carolinas. We are looking at Florida first.... It's scarey. We own our house here, have a big yard and 3 dogs. If we move he will make 10-15k more a year plus have significant better benefits and I could potentially make 15k more upfront and in a couple years after licensure up to 30k more.... huge differences. Looking into cost of living and everything though, it's all very very scarey. Well, it's caused a lot of stress as it could be amazing for my career if we did move. If anyone is more interested in knowing about the areas we are looking at feel free to ask.. Another stressor is who is going to rent to us having THREE DOGS AND A CAT?? lol. No one would around here I know haha.

So Red goes back Tuesday for a thyroid panel and Roxy will also be going in for allergies soon. She needs some medicine or something poor baby. Itchy paws and skin and we have to bathe her so often just to give her relief!

Oh, I also start my internship soon so that's all been working out. It will be in Dialysis.... Lots of stress added with that.


----------



## pb2b

It's a lot less scary once you actually do it. I moved around to different states a lot when I was in my 20's. I highly recommended it. The skills you gain from leaving your comfort zone are immeasurable. Plus 10-15 years from now, your career will be much better off. These chances don't come by often... 

Renting will be a challenge but hopefully it would only be short term.


----------



## tine434

pb2b said:


> It's a lot less scary once you actually do it. I moved around to different states a lot when I was in my 20's. I highly recommended it. The skills you gain from leaving your comfort zone are immeasurable. Plus 10-15 years from now, your career will be much better off. These chances don't come by often...
> 
> Renting will be a challenge but hopefully it would only be short term.


See.... He only has about 8 years to make the decision to take this step as they have age limits and the closer you get to the top of that limit the less chance you have.


----------



## pb2b

What I mean is that if you take the step now, you will be much better off in 10-15 years even beyond the jobs you will have now. It's easier to advance when you get to a higher place at a younger age.


----------



## tine434

Oh yeah I know.... And I think having that limit knowing to get his foot in the door for advancement he has to do something within the next few years makes it more tempting.... He's been trying for 2 years in our area but has had no luck at all. Now we are seeing hope, but it is several hours away


----------



## Belle's Mom

I assume he can wait until at least May to let you finish school or am I incorrect?


----------



## tine434

Belle's Mom said:


> I assume he can wait until at least May to let you finish school or am I incorrect?


No, that's what we are looking at... Closer to when I graduate (I graduate in 8 months but I believe they usually have big hires around March, so that's 6 months). It gives me more time to hope he gets his chance closer to home lol. Many of his coworkers are already relocating to the other locations though. My degree I can take anywhere, I am in a fairly diverse field and have a lot of experience across the board. Hubby on the other hand, with no college education, his options for advancement are limited.

Of course we would never leave unless it meant a good quality life for the whole family (furkids included)


----------



## Harleysmum

I am only new on this forum but have followed many of your posts with delight! First thing I would do is Google pet friendly permanent accommodation in the areas of Florida that you are considering. You may well find it is not going to be as hard as you think. This sounds like an amazing opportunity for you and your husband and life doesn't throw too many of those at us! Go for it!


----------



## jennretz

Lots of excitement in your world! Fingers crossed it all starts coming together for you.


----------



## tine434

Harleysmum said:


> I am only new on this forum but have followed many of your posts with delight! First thing I would do is Google pet friendly permanent accommodation in the areas of Florida that you are considering. You may well find it is not going to be as hard as you think. This sounds like an amazing opportunity for you and your husband and life doesn't throw too many of those at us! Go for it!


I've been looking.... Most of what I find is very pet friendly, especially at our higher price point, but has a 2 dog limit. From researching it seems renting a privately owned home is our best choice, which is fine although it means forfeiting the community fitness centers, pools, shops and stores, and dog parks lol

The regions are Tallahassee, Orlando, or Tampa (Miami also but he's not into that idea as we are bilingual). I really can't imagine moving to FL and not being coastal, and I found a wonderful place of employment for myself that seems to have a constant need in St. Petersburg, right on the gulf. But alas, I'd have to drive home to the other side of Tampa to be fair to hubby and I hear that would be a headache lol


----------



## Harleysmum

Where we live there is a two dog rule for most properties. However you can often get permission for an extra dog if you are say fostering for a rescue or some such reason. I bet this sort of thing would apply in the US as well and you have done such wonderful work in the past, I bet you could put a good case and get permission for an extra dog. We are visiting Florida ourselves in a couple of weeks ...... doing a three week road trip!


----------



## tine434

RASCAL:

And here he is teasing the dogs. He will sit up there and dangle his paw until they come near then he will smack them knowing they can't jump on the chair to get him lol


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Rascal, you're such a character...... 

Hope Red's test results come back good. 

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity for you both, hope everything comes together and works out for you. I agree, opportunities sometimes are once in a lifetime and you have to take a leap of faith, weigh all your options, and sometimes follow your heart and instincts. 

Wishing you all the best.


----------



## tine434

Harleysmum said:


> Where we live there is a two dog rule for most properties. However you can often get permission for an extra dog if you are say fostering for a rescue or some such reason. I bet this sort of thing would apply in the US as well and you have done such wonderful work in the past, I bet you could put a good case and get permission for an extra dog. We are visiting Florida ourselves in a couple of weeks ...... doing a three week road trip!


If you've never been to the Gulf coast beaches then you've never truly lived =D lol


----------



## tine434

ROXY:

Why am I soaked and wet you ask? Because Bubba (Red) peed on me. :uhoh: so I had to get a bath. He peed all down my leg! While I was peeing on the GRASS like a good girl!!


----------



## pb2b

Oh poor Roxy! You do look cute fresh out of the bath though.


----------



## tine434

We helped momma and daddy find two babies last night. Red tried to pick them up, mom said he may hurt them but I am sure that he was just trying to bring them home.

Well all night we stayed up and watched momma take care of them. I really really wanted to sniff and luck them but momma said they're too small and you have to be really careful with small babies.

Now the babies are gone and we are all SO TIRED! So now we are all cuddling.

There is another storm tonight, momma said she hopes no more babies fall. I'm not sure what she means, I am sure rain falls not babies.


----------



## tine434

REM:

Oh my gosh! Today was a HUGE day for me!! I finally was allowed on the super comfy couch. Well, day actually picked me up and then put me up there, but the details don't matter. Momma was cold and I told daddy I could help, he must have heard me =D See Roxy? She's jealous cause normally she is the only one allowed on the comfy couch.


----------



## ZeppGold

I think it will be hard to keep him off now! They do like to cuddle.


----------



## tine434

ZeppGold said:


> I think it will be hard to keep him off now! They do like to cuddle.


Lucky for us he gets too hot on the leather lol


----------



## tine434

Rem's parents:
I noticed they don't have long coats.... Wonder if Rem will ever get a long coat..?


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> Rem's parents:
> I noticed they don't have long coats.... Wonder if Rem will ever get a long coat..?


They're beautiful! I tend to prefer the shorter coats myself. That's just purely a personal thing.


----------



## tine434

Red:

Momma says we are going somewhere special today. Brother and sister are with us too, even daddy. I am not sure where we can be going.... But I get quite sleepy in the car so I nod off on mommas shoulder....


----------



## boomers_dawn

What a cute family you have.


----------



## tine434

Special day indeed...


----------



## NewfieMom

*Where ARE You?*



tine434 said:


> Special day indeed...


Where ARE you? I want to take my Newfoundland there, too. All we have here are ponds full of algae that make his skin break out in terrible rashes that require treatment with oral antibiotics for months. You and Danny seem to have clean water in the South where your dogs are actually allowed to swim!!!

I am waiting for the winter. (Then my dog is allowed into the ocean beach where there is salt water that is clean.) Luckily my Newfie can swim in cold water. But I cannot tell you how envious I am of that place you are right now. Tell me its name!!!!

(I do drive down to Charleston and Savannah, sometimes! Why not to a beach?)

NewfieMom


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

(I do drive down to Charleston and Savannah, sometimes! Why not to a beach?)

*Newfie mom,* while you're driving down to Charleston or Savannah, why not stop by and visit me?????

Crystal Coast NC | Outer Banks

Newfies are a rare treat here, I would love to meet Griffin.

tine434, sorry to hi-jack your thread.........


----------



## NewfieMom

CAROLINA MOM said:


> (I do drive down to Charleston and Savannah, sometimes! Why not to a beach?)
> 
> *Newfie mom,* while you're driving down to Charleston or Savannah, why not stop and by visit me?????
> 
> Crystal Coast NC | Outer Banks
> 
> Newfies are a rare treat here, I would love to meet Griffin.
> 
> tine434, sorry to hi-jack your thread.........


*CAROLINA MOM*-

I never made the trip with Griffin before! I was going to make it so that he could go to tine's lake!!! Griffin has to be lifted in and out of my Jeep, so if I make a trip with him, I will have to bring a strong person with me. But I would love to stop by to see you if I can take him either to tine's lake or to Danny's dog park with the lake!

He would love to meet some Goldens! He loves all dogs. 

NewfieMom


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Have you tried using a ramp for Griffin to get in and out of your Jeep?


----------



## NewfieMom

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Have you tried using a ramp for Griffin to get in and out of your Jeep?


I am starting to feel guilty for the threadjack here, but yes. Not only tried a ramp, but acquired a ramp from the trainer who tried to train Griffin to use it using "high value" treats. (Yum yum, steak!) The problem was that it didn't have railings at the very top and Griffin jumped off when he got to the very top! We worked on the ramp for several sessions. Then he left me to do it alone. Ha!

NewfieMom


----------



## tine434

Oh don't feel bad you two!

That is actually at Dogwood Park Jacksonville, FL http://www.jaxdogs.com/

It is huge! It has the lake, a forest area, and an agility area. And we've never met a dog who an owner let go wild. Yes, some crazy dogs but owners were always right there controlling the situation.

Actually our beaches are the dirty water around here! Ugh. That flesh eating bacteria mess in our hot waters, eekz. They're OK now but this summer was shut down some. They treat the lake at that park and keep it super clean.

Also, all the local lakes are dog friendly. There is Lake Grace in Screven, GA it's right down the road from us and is HUGE and dog friendly (not fenced though) but in our lakes you gotta watch for water moccasins and gators (; But we are natives so for us it isn't a big deal really. It's kinda like there are sharks at the beach so there are those things at the lakes. (Dogwood treats their water though and no creatures in it lol)


----------



## tine434

Rem isn't as good of a swimmer as Red... Rem slaps his front legs out of the water a lot and splashes more than swims sometimes lol. I'm not sure how to help him??


----------



## tine434

Everyone is exhausted after today!


----------



## ktkins7

Looks like they had a blast!


----------



## tine434

I like to write papers in bed.... And the puppies like to crowd the bedroom when I do...

So then we take selfies on my breaks  it is so nice to be home again.


----------



## tine434

So Red learned how to point yesterday! Or he showed us that he knew how. I'm not sure where it came from, hubby accidently tossed the ball over the fence and out of the yard. Well, he went over to the lot beside us and squeaked it so they could hear it but not see it.... Then after a few minutes he tossed it back over. Rem and Red heard it hit the ground but didn't see it, so their noses went down and out came the hunting dog lol. Red was the first to suspect he found it, but instead of going after it, this is what he did. I'm not sure if it was because Kevin was closer to the ball so therefore he was waiting on him to grab it or what.

It took me a long time to take the pic, initially his tail was rigid and his paw was lifted higher. After literally MINUTES he dropped like this then hubby tossed the ball and that's when he finally moved lol


----------



## ktkins7

How's Red doing?


----------



## tine434

No change really since the vet visit.... He has always had this smell to him.... That my other two don't have but when the vet examined him he said his skin looked good and everything so idk. He is doing about the same. Happy and fun and playful Red.


----------



## tine434

Rem:
Mom woke us up wayyy too early. So I stayed in bed for a long time after everyone else had already pottied and began their morning. Finally the door opening and closing woke me up. I crawled out of bed, which I love very very much, stretched and yawned and asked mom to let me outside.

I walked outside and something wasn't right. I couldn't put my paw on it, but something was very wrong... And then I saw it!!! It moved!!! Being the man of the house since daddy is gone I barked growled snarled and made a big fuss.... as I was running back to the door.... you know, to keep mom safe of course. I wasn't scared or anything.

Well momma came outside. Is she crazy?!? There's something OUT HERE. And she was laughing! Well, she held my collar, yeah you read that right. She held me back. See, bad guys take note. I'm the big guard dog at this house and if I'm not held back, who knows what will happen! (But really, I was awfully scared and kind of wanted to run inside....) Anyway, mom called "Roxy! Come!" :doh: I felt so silly.... It was ROXY outside but I just couldn't tell cause it was dark! Oh well, now the whole neighborhood knows not to mess with my backyard!


----------



## jennretz

Hilarious!


----------



## tine434

RED:

I am getting more comfortable being outside alone, especially if my siblings are out there. Well yesterday it was so cool outside. Not as hot and steamy as it has been since I've been here with my new family. I enjoyed this new weather and was out napping by myself on the front porch. Mom had the windows open so I could hear her cleaning and I could hear my brother and sister playing inside... I was nice and comfortable.

Well then I heard the oddest noise! It was like some kind of sick dog was barking at me! It scared me so I jumped up and tried to find what was after me!! 

Mom laughed at me, I heard her do it! :grr: But that's ok, she came outside and showed me what it was.... It was a frog! 

I didn't know frogs barked too.... hmm.

Mom got this picture of me when I was looking for the noise.


----------



## pb2b

Oh! He looks so worried! Poor guy. Frogs are pretty scary!


----------



## tine434

Then there is RASCAL...


----------



## hubbub

Consoling kitty!


----------



## Belle's Mom

Is Rascal snuggling with and nuzzling Red?


----------



## tine434

Yes, he is lol. Rascal plays with Roxy as she's the most gentle and almost his size and then he snuggles with Red because he's the calmest. He avoids Rem at all cost lol!


----------



## tine434

Remington stole Red's ball... Straight out of his mouth like a true bully! As he's prancing around with it making it squeak and having a good ole time.... He didn't pay attention and accidently dropped it, and it rolled.... Right underneath the dresser where he plopped down and began begging it to come back. Did momma help him? Nope. I explained what karma was instead.

Here he is pictured asleep after crying for his ball...


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> Remington stole Red's ball... Straight out of his mouth like a true bully! As he's prancing around with it making it squeak and having a good ole time.... He didn't pay attention and accidently dropped it, and it rolled.... Right underneath the dresser where he plopped down and began begging it to come back. Did momma help him? Nope. I explained what karma was instead.
> 
> Here he is pictured asleep after crying for his ball...


Ahhh....Rem, you have to learn to play nice


----------



## PatJ

It's very odd. Nature abhors a vacuum so she is always filling our house with little ones who need a home. We had 3 cats and are waiting to hear if we are getting our GR puppy. It's been a very sad year as we had to put one of the cats down in June (kidney disease) and will also lose our 18 year cat sometime in the next few months. This will leave only one pet and the waiting for the pup seems endless -- that is until this week when two feral 3 month old kittens showed up in our back yard. How do they know!!!??? Anyway, we caught the little female and had her spayed yesterday. She was a wild tiger but after offering her food she is already cuddling and purring whenever we enter her room. Her little male brother is wily and it will take some patience to trap him. So our house is filling up again and will finally be complete when we get our puppy in December. And when the pup is about 2-3 years old we hope to add a GR rescue.


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## tine434

I've often noticed male cats to be much more loving and needy than females... I bet when he does finally come around he will be like glue!


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## tine434

My husband just told me he wants a divorce. He packed all his things and left me here with our family.

It isn't over until it's over...

But I am looking at these 4 furry faces and wondering what in the world I am going to do.


----------



## Baker

tine434 said:


> My husband just told me he wants a divorce. He packed all his things and left me here with our family.
> 
> It isn't over until it's over...
> 
> But I am looking at these 4 furry faces and wondering what in the world I am going to do.


I am so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.


----------



## Chritty

tine434 said:


> My husband just told me he wants a divorce. He packed all his things and left me here with our family.
> 
> It isn't over until it's over...
> 
> But I am looking at these 4 furry faces and wondering what in the world I am going to do.



Oh no! So sorry


----------



## hubbub

I'm so sorry. I hope whatever has brought you guys to this point can be addressed.


----------



## Wendy427

I'm so, so sorry! I really thought you two were truly made for each other; so supportive of each other! Can you get a neutral party to help you both come to some sort of positive agreement?


----------



## pb2b

Well I hope his reaction was out of anger and that you two can work towards reconciliation. Maybe after he calms down he will be open to discussing marriage counseling. 

Thinking of you...


----------



## tine434

There was nothing. There was no fight. There was no anger....
There was nothing at all.

Then suddenly there was.... I don't love you anymore. And then there was packing and an empty house.

That was it. No one in his family my family... No one knew. Besides obviously some friends of his at work who aren't good influences.


----------



## tine434

And the truth came out.... Someone just told me he had been sitting in another woman's car after work. Is it true? Idk...

But if this happens.... What do I do? I can't afford the house and he just left me with all 4 of our babies...


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I'm so very sorry

Can you get a roommate?


----------



## ZeppGold

Take a breath... Praying for you and the whole situation... Can you get him to go to counseling with you? Maybe this is something you can work through... Don't rush to anything....


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I agree, don't rush into anything or make any quick decisions.

Do you have friends or family members close by that can help you with the animals so you can go to your classes?


----------



## tine434

I can't afford the classes without his financial support as the drive and gas.... or the house or the car.... No family closer than 30 minutes.

I spoke to the woman. It's been going on for 2 months but off and on. And sure enough when we were at our best was when she had backed off and when he was distant she had came back. Husband says he may have done wrong, but that he still wants a divorce and still doesn't love me.


----------



## Brave

Omg. I am so sorry. I want to beat him up. I cannot imagine.... 

Is there anything I can do to help? 

Can you consult with a lawyer? He has financial obligations to you, as his wife, and that doesn't change because he's plowing someone else's field. 

You can check out some of the marriage forums on the Internet. There are many people who've been in your shoes. Perhaps they will have better advice on how to handle the situation. 

In the meantime, separate your finances so he can't drain your bank account. Prioritize bills as best you can. If you own the house, that will be discussed during divorce proceedings. If you only rent, look at downsizing. Cxl any bills that you don't *need* like cable, gym memberships, magazine subscriptions, etc. 

You can look at liquidating any retired funds if push comes to shove. 

Do check with an attorney and a financial counselor if possible. I'm just spitballing ideas.


----------



## pb2b

Thinking of you and hoping you two can work it out. 

How old is he? I only ask because I had several friends who went through this when their husbands were in their mid/late 20s. It seems like some guys sort of go through a identity crisis at that age.

Protect yourself financially in the meantime.


----------



## ZeppGold

Whatever you do, try not to quit school if you can figure something out. And I agree to talk to an attorney. Your husband needs to help support you and the dogs. 
30 minutes away is not too far to move in with family. Our daughter moved back home with her less than 7 month old twins when she and her husband separated. It was not easy, but it was what we all had to do until she could get back on her feet. You need a support group of family and friends around you to help you through this.


----------



## mylissyk

I'm so sorry, I'm sure you are in shock. Good advise given though, take care of yourself, get your money into a separate bank account so he can't leave you with nothing. People do terrible things in these situations that you would never imagine, so it's best to protect yourself.


----------



## MommaMia6

So sorry you are going through this difficult time. I agree with the above posters. As the mom to three golden fur babies you have my empathy. 

I do not post often but have been following your thread. You both seemed very supportive of each other in all your prior post. It appears that you both share the love of fur babies.

Having been there and done that, I wish I had found marriagebuilders.com sooner. I see you are working toward your MSW, perhaps this website might conflict with your thought process regarding MSW or maybe not.

The marriagebuilders.com website really helped me to become a stronger and better person. Regardless of the outcome of divorcing or staying together, the forum like this one provides loads of support and insight.

As difficult as it maybe, finish your MSW. May is really not that far away. Like the other posters protect yourself financially. Joint banking accounts can be cashed out totally by either party, leaving one with no funds.

Please keep posting, the golden retriever forum seems to be filled with many compassionate folks.

Hope this post does not conflict any rules of this forum.


----------



## tine434

Oh I don't have family who I can live with... I meant who could come help with the pups if I stayed here. As far as having anyone to move in with, I don't.

I read everyone else's posts also.... I am so torn between my Christian values in this situation and my "common sense"


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> Oh I don't have family who I can live with... I meant who could come help with the pups if I stayed here. As far as having anyone to move in with, I don't.
> 
> I read everyone else's posts also.... I am so torn between my Christian values in this situation and my "common sense"



Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I'm not a Christian but I am reasonably empathetic. You can try to save your marriage in the long run, but you need to protect yourself in the short term. 

Your husband has broken his vows to you and God by cheating on you. If you want to reconcile, he will need to be 100% transparent and he cannot have ANY contact with the other woman. Please call your pastor or religious leader. Idk if divorce is acceptable in your denomination, but I'm sure your religious leader will advocate keeping the marriage intact. 
Cheating creates a hole that will take a long time to forgive, in my experience, and the relationship will never be the same as it was before the cheater strayed. 

If you proceed with the divorce, you should ask for Alimony considering the circumstances and your school. Talk to a lawyer to see if there are restrictions on who can ask for what depending on who files. 

*sometimes* the act of being served divorce papers will be enough to wake up the cheater, based on some of the threads I've read elsewhere. But I wouldn't count on it. 


((((Hugs)))))


----------



## ZeppGold

Weren't you two talking about moving? I can't remember if you rent or own, but isn't your husband still responsible for the bills? Can you think about moving closer to school or family? That would help with the dogs and commute. 

I understand what you mean about Christian values and common sense. It is so hard in this world. I really think you should try to get some counselling -- with or without your husband. I also think you have to protect yourself so see an attorney. I wish I lived closer and could help you with the dogs. Maybe you have a friend who could help out for awhile until you figure things out. It is going to take some time to figure this out and put your life back together, but you can do it. You have rescued so many dogs -- now you have to rescue yourself.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I agree about taking care of yourself first and getting your finances in order.

I suggest consulting with an Attorney right away.

Being 30 minutes away from family is not that far, _*don't be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends.*_

Do everything you possibly can to stay in school and finish your degree. You've only got a few months to go. If you have to borrow money in order to do it, do so.


----------



## Brave

Also, idk if you're still fostering, but you can reach out to your rescue and see if they can help either with discounted pet-walking/doggie daycare or even with food if needed. My rescue will go out of their way to help their foster families as well as former adopters. And it's a fantastic support system when you need a friend and a shoulder. Aside from us, cause we'll be here for you too.


----------



## tine434

I am the most scared about my pups... If I am not in the house then how will I find a place to keep them? My mom is in government housing, my sister is unstable, and that's all the family I have. I'm so scared for them


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> I am the most scared about my pups... If I am not in the house then how will I find a place to keep them? My mom is in government housing, my sister is unstable, and that's all the family I have. I'm so scared for them


You can do this! You WILL find affordable, pet-friendly housing, if you need to move. But you might not have to. Call an attorney TODAY. See where you need to start. Is the rat fink still living with you? Can you kick him out and change the locks? 

Just take this one step and one breath at a time. Your puppies and you will be fine. If need-be, I'm sure we can network on the forum to get them temporary housing IF push comes to shove and you have to move in with your mother or in housing that won't take the pups, temporarily. 

We're all here for you. Come take our hands, and know you are not ALONE.


----------



## tine434

He packed his bags and left the house the night he mentioned a divorce. Hasn't looked back since. I found out about the cheating later after I checked the phone records.

After confronting him on how you can't have a happy marriage when you invite other women in, he still wants a divorce. I do need to contact a lawyer.... I do...


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

IMO, here are the first two things you need to do today-

1. Go to the bank and get your money into separate accounts now
2. Make an appt. with an attorney

Your DH may or may not have already done these two, you need to get ahead of it right now and protect yourself.

Try to take your emotions out of it and use your head to protect yourself.


----------



## Brave

CAROLINA MOM said:


> IMO, here are the first two things you need to do today-
> 
> 1. Go to the bank and get your money into separate accounts now
> 2. Make an appt. with an attorney
> 
> Your DH may or may not have already done these two, you need to get ahead of it right now and protect yourself.
> 
> Try to take your emotions out of it and use your head to protect yourself.


#1 is the MOST important step. When my dad left us he took EVERYTHING in the bank account, leaving my mom penniless, unemployed, with two mortgages and two kids to raise. Beyond that, call your credit card companies for ANY jointly held credit accounts and cancel the accounts. Because since you're both listed on them, if he runs up the charges, you're still obligated to pay for it. If any checks are directly deposited, make sure you stop that and re-route them to your own personal account.


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## Melfice

CAROLINA MOM said:


> IMO, here are the first two things you need to do today-
> 
> 1. Go to the bank and get your money into separate accounts now
> 2. Make an appt. with an attorney
> 
> Your DH may or may not have already done these two, you need to get ahead of it right now and protect yourself.
> 
> Try to take your emotions out of it and use your head to protect yourself.


Good advice, and this question has nothing to do with the posts, but I have always wondered. What does DH mean on these forums? Does it mean Dear Husband? Maybe its not a good time to ask, but I always see it being used on the forums.

Back to the topic, I really wish you the best of luck going forward, Tine434. I hope you get support from friends and family, but make sure to follow Carolina Mom's advice ASAP


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## Brave

Melfice said:


> Good advice, and this question has nothing to do with the posts, but I have always wondered. What does DH mean on these forums? Does it mean Dear Husband? Maybe its not a good time to ask, but I always see it being used on the forums.


It means "dear husband" or "darling husband". 

Likewise DD = dear daughter
DS = dear son
so on and so forth


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## Melfice

Brave said:


> It means "dear husband" or "darling husband".
> 
> Likewise DD = dear daughter
> DS = dear son
> so on and so forth


Thanks a lot for the info


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## MommaMia6

Yes, contact a lawyer. Just do not have to rush a divorce. Divorce can move slowly. 

Consider contacting marriagebuilders.com, it shows the path in a Christian based way to address this situation.

I have seen amazing results following their direction in surviving an affair. Yes, it is possible! Step by step carefully drafted direction to a better than before marriage.

Many cases of wayward husbands or wifes. Either way you will learn how to deal and cope in this shocking situation. Most successful outcomes from following their program completely. Dr. Harley and his wife run the program. The forum helps deal with all the scary stuff.

Try to remember to take care of your self. Lawyers are always the winners in a divorce. They want to do divorce, not save marriages. Also try to remember your lawyer is your employee. Divorce lawyers really want to do this fast, it how they earn their living. 

Yes, easy to say but hard to do. But you are driving the bus regarding lawyer and spouse.

You can be stronger and better through all this. My family will keep you and fur babies in our prayers.


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## CAROLINA MOM

In this case, I'm sure DH has a much different meaning.

Sorry tine434, not trying to make light of the situation, just trying to make things less intense for you if that is at all possible.

Brave is right about the CC, if you rent your house or own it, if your names are on lease agreement, mortgage documents, car loans, etc., you are both responsible for them.

That's why I think you should talk to an Attorney right away.


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## MommaMia6

WW- wayward wife
WH- wayward husband

Wow you are getting amazing advice on a golden retriever forum.

It is always BS ( betrayed spouse) decision about staying in marriage or ending things.

Ever time a WS opens mouth...verify before trusting.


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## Brave

The forum I belong to is Talk About Marriage - The Marriage Advice & Relationship Help Forums. 

It's a forum that encompasses everything involving marriage, but they have a sub-forum devoted to "Coping w/ infidelity"

Most of the members in that sub-forum still hold the hurt from being betrayed, and it's not religiously based, so divorce is discussed openly. But it can be another resource for you if you so choose it.


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## Tosh's Legacy

You are a tremendous, giving and loving woman, and admired by many of us (younger and older) on this forum. After your tears and anger subside a little, take a good look at who YOU are inside -- we on the forum have seen a beautiful young woman (inside and out) who deserves the best in her life. Please don't let this betrayal destroy you long term. Maintain your Christian values, but also be "wise as a serpent" and use the good common sense that God gave you. Find the best lawyer you can: they can be a very useful tool (in this down and increasingly nasty world we live in) to protect you and your rights. And don't let anyone put blame on you for what has happened: the decisions made were not your bad choices, but his. Don't forget that!

You have made many unseen friends here and have received a wealth of great advice from all. Your Golden Family is here to support you and your pups.

Our love and prayers are with you!


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## tine434

Not sleeping alone tonight. (Yes my hair is dark now, don't be alarmed)

I want to thank you all for the outreach, advise, and love. I am feeling oddly strong.... Once I get a handle on things and get myself back to semi order I promise to take the time and attention to post how it is all going.


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## Brave

You are beautiful. I am so glad kitty cuddles are keeping you company.


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## tine434

The lawyers report is that with only being married 2 years that the house will be allowed to foreclose, the car will be allowed to be repo'd... our credit will be ruined and that would mean he would lose his job and ruin a BOP career and ruin my future careers also.

In this I continue to trust that God has already took care of this. Because at this point, I don't know what else to do.


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## ZeppGold

I hate to say this but if the house does go through a foreclosure, it will take a long time. And you can live there until it happens. 

I think your lawyer's report is a worse case situation. 

My oldest stepdaughter and her husband went through a similar situation about 6 years ago. They separated, allowed the house to go to foreclosure, (my daughter lived there rent free for quite some time before she and our two grandsons moved), my daughter filed for bankruptcy, had a messy divorce, etc.... 

The only reason I am telling you this is that fast forward to today -- she and her husband are back together and expecting another baby in November. 

Just so you know that worse case scenarios are not the end of the story.... Just a chapter in the story... Only God knows your ending right now and I suspect that this will be a hard time for you, but you will get through it. It won't be the end of the world and the future will be better. 

On a practical note, if your husband knows all of this, maybe he and you can work together to come up with a better solution. It will benefit both of you,


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## Brave

If your credit goes to hell, it's just a 7 year bump. It's not forever and you CAN get back from it. 

Why not sell the house? Split the profit? Refinance the car into just your name (or pay it off with proceeds from the home sale). Better yet, transfer the titles into each person. So he transfers the title of your car to you and you transfer the title of his car to him. 

And feel free to talk to a different attorney if this one isn't helpful. Second opinions are there for a reason. 

If you have to, file bankruptcy. It'll stay on your record for 7 years. Both a foreclosure and a bankruptcy will hinder your search for logging. My mom couldn't get a lease to save her life after her bankruptcy. So we lived in a motel for more years than I can remember. So you should be aware of the cons before filing. 

Can you talk to a free financial counselor to see how you can mitigate financial ruin through the divorce?


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## Brave

P.S. How does this ruin both of your careers?


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## Tennyson

Really sorry this is happening to you.
No way the financial troubles would ruin his fed. Bureau of Prisons career nor yours either.
Talk to a female lawyer if possible.


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## Brave

Tennyson said:


> Really sorry this is happening to you.
> No way the financial troubles would ruin his fed. Bureau of Prisons career nor yours either.
> Talk to a female lawyer if possible.



I work in the financial industry, they they won't hire employees with bad credit. Idk what field she works in, nor how the federal bureau of prisons works. If someone could be released from their position due to financial problems. If your a correctional officer, would it make someone more susceptible to bribes or what not?


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## Tennyson

The feds can't get rid of you for financial trouble nor can they NOT hire someone who has had financial trouble. 
It's different in the private sector if the employer chooses.


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## Saratoga

"The feds can't get rid of you for financial trouble nor can they NOT hire someone who has had financial trouble." NOT TRUE! If your job requires a security clearance and you don't pass the background check or you no longer qualify for the clearance you're gone the next day - I've personally seen it. Failure to meet your financial obligations can be disqualifying and is a big part of what they look for in the background investigation. Having said that, they will also take mitigating circumstances into consideration, so all is not lost. Also to be considered, you can lose your clearance (and your job) if you fail to report a bankruptcy or worse try to hide it from your employer. Your best course of action is to keep your employer informed and be totally honest with them.

I have no idea to what extent any of this applies to the OP as I don't know anything about her or her husband's jobs, but I thought it important that I pass along what I am familiar with for consideration.

I am sorry to hear about your situation and hope you find a way to work through it.


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## Tennyson

No. He's already on the federal payroll. His level is way below anything that needs security clearances.


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## jennretz

Tine - I'm really sorry to hear about this. Somehow I missed this most recent update. Somebody recommended getting a second opinion from a different lawyer and I second that. A financial advisor could also help. There are other options than foreclosure such as short-sale and deed-in-lieu of foreclosure. If you haven't separated your finances I would do that first thing. I would explore all of your options and make the decision that is best for you and your fur babies. Do you have any friends that are looking for a roommate? Or maybe a college student who is looking for a reduced rent and could help with the pups. Hang in there. Take a deep breath each day and keep it focused on what you can control vs what you can't.


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## tine434

I can't reply to it all but... he is with a private prison federally contracted and yes it does take good credit to work there as the background and financial check is insanely difficult and he had to work hard. They do so because of the bribes and stuff as someone mentioned. And so he could lose his job, yes. He signed a contract with that as part of it. Also, federal jobs do require you to have good credit such as the BOP which was his ultimate goal.

I am sorry I can't get to the rest but I did read it all. I can say that I feel very good tonight considering everything. He stayed with our puppies from 1pm-9pm today and fed them and fed Rascal so when I got home I didn't have to. He also locked all the doors and turned on all the lights as he knows I'm scared coming home alone. 

Overall, my day improved as I got calls from loved ones and I had amazing experiences with God and I just feel good about today so I will close it for now and maybe soon slow down enough to give proper thanks and time to everyone


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## tine434

Today has been tough to wake up to... 
Kevin's papa is on a ventilator only using 20% of his own.... it kills me to not be there. Prayers are requesed (if you do pray) for this family, the Great Comforter to send down his comfort on them. It is just killing me as I want to be there and hold them all. They're my family, he is my papa....

I had sent Kevin a text telling him I'd be using the bank for a bag of dog food and an oil change. I went to feed the dogs today and be bought the dog food yesterday. Funny as I ordered a bag yesterday because I did not know he'd do that! Haha......


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## ZeppGold

Praying for you and everyone involved.


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## Brave

Go to your father-in-law. Spend time if you can, with him. Just because you're having marital problems doesn't mean you loose the family you've grown to love.

I'll pray for your family and yourself. 

((((((Hugs))))))


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## tine434

We spoke.... He had planned to file for divorce either yesterday or Monday but after speaking he agreed to give me until Dec.

He wanted the house and wanted me to take Rem and the car, can't afford the car payment and can't rent with an 80lbs dog, so then he said he'd keep the animals blah blah blah....
But then he somehow agreed to wait 2 months.

I'm going to ask for some prayer warriors to dedicate daily prayer time for me during this period. I am believing God for the restoration of my marriage, no matter how crazy people think that is. And I ask for those who can be in agreement with that or at least in agreement that God has a perfect plan and will that nothing can touch and who can pray for that perfect plan, please write me down.

I'm struggling with my family thinking I am stupid for looking for reconciliation, but that's ok. I believe it can and will be done.

In the mean time Kevin has been ignoring his mom completely. He deleted her from Facebook and ignores her calls. He is a total mommas boy, loves his momma.... So him doing that shows something. It is because he knows she doesn't support him and he knows what he's doing is not right.


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## jennretz

Tine - you are a strong woman. You will make it through this. Hang in there...


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## 1oldparson

I'm joining with you in prayer.


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## ZeppGold

I will pray for you. I believe that marriages can be restored and you are not crazy for trying.


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## Karen519

*Christine*



tine434 said:


> A beloved member said in my old thread that they had to think of our household in terms of math "R^4" And I loved that idea! Don't know us? Well, here is your chance!
> 
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> Here we are! The couple who started it all together. We have been fur-baby fosters for a year now and enjoy it. Recently we have slowed down that hobby as I (Christine) am in graduate school right now! Plus, we recently adopted a new addition, which makes our household pretty full and eventful as is! I am the forum member, but my DH joins me in reading and catching up, as well as deciding what to post. I will be using this thread to share my day to day experiences with my 4 R's! If you have read any of my ranting and venting posts, you know my days are FULL and HILARIOUS! Never fails, I have a team of trouble makers! I am always chasing them or having to save someone from certain death it seems lol. But first, and introduction!
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> "Mom and dad picked me up when I was THIS little. I was an "oopsie" litter. My mom is AKC mini schnauzer and my dad is 1/2 Beagle and 1/2 mini schanuzer. My mom's human gave me away to someone that did not take care of me. When my human mom got me I was scared to death of them, and cars, and grass, and noises, and dark, and being alone, and toys, and being petted.... Well ok, I was scared of everything. They got me from a home where I pooped in my bed and peed in the house because I wasn't ever taken outside. I never knew that the outside was so big either! Mom often tells people how she spent months and months and months trying to socialize me, but I don't care about all that. All I know now is it all seems very silly that I was scared to be petted and didn't realize people could be nice. Cause now I like to talk to everyone!!! Literally, I talk away. It is a bit frustrating that people don't seem to understand me. I give my best YAPS! YELPS! GRR! GRRAR! and RUFF! but they just don't seem to get it. Well, except for my nana, papa, mom and dad and their friends. They understand and they have conversations with me. Oh, and I am the only fur pup allowed on the furniture. You know why? Cause I am Mrs. Queen Bee is what mom says. She says I am the most MATURE one there is. It's ok though, it is because they are only boys so they are a bit slower."
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> This is me now, mom says don't be shocked. They didn't replace the puppy they got so long ago. This is just how I look now! My hair changed color and I am not black and brown anymore, I am salt and pepper. People think I'm old, nope. I am a young 2 years old!
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> "Hello! My name is Rem. Mom says I am actually Remington Sure Shot Allday, but all I hear is 'Rem' and sometimes 'No!' or 'Leave it!' or 'Drop It!' I guess I have lots of names! My nana said I should be called 'Marley' and should be famous. I am not sure what that means, but I like the idea of being famous! I am almost 11 months old and mom sometimes says I am not well behaved, ok, maybe she says that a lot of times.... But really, I think I am a good boy. I take care of the garden, I am a great digger. I trim back the trees because I like to pull off the limbs. I cut the grass because I love to eat it, mom says that cows eat grass, not puppies. I beg to differ! I also love to do the laundry, I bring mom ALL THE CLOTHES I FIND! She says the ones folded neatly on the bed should stay there though :uhoh:. I really love to sleep. And I hated the bigger crate my mom gave me, I like to curl up into a little ball in my smaller crate. So I refused to sleep in the bigger one. What do I love more than sleep? Playing ball! Oh, and my brothers and sister (I especially love stealing their toys, or sitting on them)! Ohhhh! AND FOOD! Well, I love everything. Mom says I love things too much, because I get way too excited. Well, what do moms know anyway?"
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> "I was mom and dad's 50-something-th foster they say. My first dad gave me away for some reason and the person who owned me after that tied me to a tree because his kids were scared of me. After a few months, a new family came to rescue me. Except for they said I was a bad, bad dog and tied me up to a tree also. They told my new mom that I chewed threw the rope, killed chickens, had bit someone, knocked over little kids, chewed everything up, pottied in the house, and was just a BAD BAD dog. So my newest mom got me and fostered me for a rescue. Well, my dad fell in love. He said I was a very, very good dog. And that those other people were just BAD parents. So they adopted me! So here I am! Mom just calls me Red, all the time. I must only have one name. She says I am AKC, whatever that means. She did say one day that means I will have a second name, but she hasn't decided on it yet. She says I am a very good boy. My nana says that too! I hate getting in trouble, so when they tell me no I LISTEN! I am very fast though and I love sports and to play with other dogs. Oh, and I love birds. I really, really, really love birds.... P.S. I love my siblings the mostest "
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> This was my first pet as an adult. He is now 6 years old, and still spoiled rotten. He was my main man. Then I added my husband, then a dog, and another dog, and now ANOTHER dog. I think Rascal thinks he has died and gone to Hades sometimes, but he is still my only kitty! He pretty much has run of the house, and of the dogs. He cries all the time. All. The. Time. He cries for me to run the sink water for him to drink, he cries to be held while I eat dinner, he cries for food, he just cries. He is almost as vocal as Roxy! And he is rotten. If I leave for vacation and leave out an article of clothing, he will be paying me back for leaving him at home by peeing on it :uhoh: He isn't as involved in the crazy shenanigans that happen, but when he is... It is usually having a brother chase him until he tries to hide in the bath tub and lands in the toilet : oopsie :


You sure have a beautiful story and a very LOVING FAMILY!! Loved it!


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## tine434

During all of this someone turned 1 year old!


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## Tosh's Legacy

Happy birthday to Rem! He's a real handsome boy. I'm sure he is full of one-year old energy and tricks. Looks like he is having a good time playing with Roxi (and, hopefully, Red, too)

You are in our hearts and prayers. Stay strong and be wise.


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## jennretz

Happy Happy Birthday Rem


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## tine434

Throw back....


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## tine434

Last one that I will post....


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## Brave

Such a perfect being. 

How are YOU doing? Have you asked your husband to go to counseling with you?


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## tine434

Brave said:


> Such a perfect being.
> 
> How are YOU doing? Have you asked your husband to go to counseling with you?


My husband and I have not spoken since he said he'd wait to file the divorce.

Nor has he spoken to his family. No one knows where he is.


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## Melfice

tine434 said:


> My husband and I have not spoken since he said he'd wait to file the divorce.
> 
> Nor has he spoken to his family. No one knows where he is.


I love your pictures, and the best of luck to you!


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## 1oldparson

Still praying! 

Zechariah 4:6 So he answered and said to me:“This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel:‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’Says the Lord of hosts.


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## Brave

tine434 said:


> My husband and I have not spoken since he said he'd wait to file the divorce.
> 
> Nor has he spoken to his family. No one knows where he is.



Have you gotten a chance to talk to his family and yours about what's going on? 

Up and disappearing seems really immature. If you have the other woman's phone number you can try calling her to see if he's crashing there. I'm not sure if that is information you would WANT to know, though. 

(((Hugs)))


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## tine434

Brave said:


> Have you gotten a chance to talk to his family and yours about what's going on?
> 
> Up and disappearing seems really immature. If you have the other woman's phone number you can try calling her to see if he's crashing there. I'm not sure if that is information you would WANT to know, though.
> 
> (((Hugs)))


Well I had spoken to her 30min last monday. I've heard enough from her.

Knowing where he is staying will not change anything... 

Yes I have spoken to his family and mine. His mother does not agree, his father doesn't care either way I don't think. He's a mommas boy and that's why it is so crazy that he won't speak to her.

Our mutual best friend reached out to him via facebook once he reactived it, he deleted him, but then later the next day did say "thank you so much". 

My family thinks I am stupid to stand for him to come back, they aren't much support but that is ok. We all have our own choices to make in life.

As far as my college, I'm not sure if I will be finishing this semester or not.


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## tine434

The realization hit me....
I don't know how to use the mower or the grill.... =/


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## Brave

tine434 said:


> The realization hit me....
> I don't know how to use the mower or the grill.... =/



You will learn. Before you know it you'll be better than your husband was at those "honey do" tasks. 

YouTube is great. Idk what type of grill you have but with charcoal you just through the bricks (brickettes?) in and light them on fire. When they're grey you can start grilling.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Using the grill or the mower is not that hard. If you've got a neighbor, friend or family member that can show you how, you'll get the hang of both of them in no time. You'll be surprised how easy they both really are.

Do everything you can to finish out this semester, next semester and graduate. Think about all the time, hard work you've put into your education, not to mention the money you've invested. This is your future whether it's with your husband or not. Do this for yourself, if you don't finish your Masters now, you may not get another opportunity to do it, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

You are a lot stronger than you might think you are and you'll become even stronger over time regardless of how things turn out.


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## Tosh's Legacy

Please do try to finish your education. You are so close to finishing. Don't let all of this rob you of a great future. Whatever happens with your marriage, just do it for yourself. You will not regret it.

It's a piece of cake doing the grilling and running the mower: once you are shown how, you will see! Then after that, you are on to power tools, etc.! 

A...N...D....you can still stay as feminine as you like!


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## wjane

I agree with those saying to finish your degree - so much easier now than trying to finish later. As for the lawn mower and grill - do you have manuals? If not, you can go online and download a manual - youtube is great too. I learned how to tile a floor watching youtubes. If nothing else, you will become stronger through this. I'm sorry you are going through this but you have a lot of folks rooting for you and praying, including me.


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## pb2b

Please try not to give up on school. I have been through grad school, I know how crazy it is. 

I also understand how all-consuming your personal situation is. I think, right now, you have every right to want to reconcile. You still love him in spite of all of this. And frankly, it sounds like what he is doing right now is living in a fantasy. That's why he's hiding. He is trying to avoid reality. 

However, as much as you love him, don't put your life on hold for him. You know the saying... Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It will be a long, painful road, but you will get through this.


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## tine434

School is nothing about putting my life on hold...

College is 2.5 hours away, no online courses. I go 3 days a week, that is about $80 or so in gas well he is taking the new car and giving me the old one that's been totalled before, because I can't afford 410 a month for the new one... plus I have to pay for a place to stay.... It is all of those things combined. 

I'm trying to get the college to work with me but it is nothing to do with waiting on him. It is finances and the ability to get there


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## jennretz

tine434 said:


> School is nothing about putting my life on hold...
> 
> College is 2.5 hours away, no online courses. I go 3 days a week, that is about $80 or so in gas well he is taking the new car and giving me the old one that's been totalled before, because I can't afford 410 a month for the new one... plus I have to pay for a place to stay.... It is all of those things combined.
> 
> I'm trying to get the college to work with me but it is nothing to do with waiting on him. It is finances and the ability to get there


Tine - is there any way you could reduce the number of hours you are taking in course credit and apply for a grant? Another option is to work at the school and get reduced tuition. Worst case scenario you could take out student loans to get you through. I know when I was checking out getting a second masters in social work, there were grants available. It's probably very competitive, but could be worthwhile to check out. I know somebody who's gong for her doctorate. She's self-employed and works around her class schedule. It's not been easy for her, but she researched and found pet friendly campus housing that was set up like an apartment.

Sending a big cyber hug your way. Chin up. Each day is a new opportunity. I'm a firm believer that when one door closes another opens. You just have to be open to the possibilities.


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## golfgal

Tine, I had not read your posts recently. My heart and my prayers go out to you. I'm too far away to help with dog sitting or anything while you're trying to figure out what to do school and family wise. I'd temporarily take in a dog or two and have a couch and spare bedroom if you lived closer. I know what's it's like to have to deal with life on your own. 

I am a financial planner and financial divorce specialist and willing to help with advice and what not on that front or for someone to talk to. PM me and I'll give you my email and phone number. Or I can skype you so it's free to you. 

I don't know if I qualify as a Christian these days but I've had to personally walk through my friend's (and clients) marital troubles more times than I count sadly. More than willing to offer a shoulder. Reconciliation or walking away. You do what's best for you and that's God's new plan for you.


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## tine434

What's best for me is for my husband to come to his senses...


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## Karen519

*Tine*

I just read what is going on and all I can say is I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I believe in prayer and that things will turn out as they are supposed to. You have to do what is right for you. Agree with all who have said, that you are stronger than you think!


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## Tosh's Legacy

You must be feeling so alone and cast off. It sounds as if one thing after another is hitting you. I am so sad to hear you are going through such a difficult situation: you have given so much to abandoned dogs and this forum, and that makes it especially difficult for us to hear. Every one of us wishes the best outcome for you, whichever way it goes.

It seems as if nothing in this is "fair" for you, but ultimately you are the only one standing in your shoes and you have to do what you can to get back up again. If you can find a way to finish school, that would be good. If that doesn't work out, it doesn't mean you can't pick it back up in the future and finish it. Perhaps you need a break to step back, rest, let yourself heal and get your emotions, psyche and life back together.
The down and dirty part of what you are facing is survival: a safe place for you and your pups to live, transportation, etc. That is most likely your biggest dilemma and burden right now. Whatever decision you make, God is with you through it all. Sometimes there are no absolutes in these situations -- it works out differently for each individual. You will find God's best for your life and be an even stronger person than you already are. You may be completely (pleasantly) surprised at how it all works out! 

As *golfgal* remarked: if I could provide a place for you to stay and get on your feet again, I would certainly do it. If I could "babysit" the pups for you, I would do it. At a different time in my life, that would have been easy to do. Circumstances for me have changed, too, and I am also living on the edge of "what happens next?" But you have my spiritual support and that of the others here. What a great blessing for you that complete strangers are standing with you!


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## tine434

He out in the divorce papers that he would keep all the dogs (if I couldn't find an affordable place that would allow them)..... Please God don't let it come to that decision though.


----------



## Belle's Mom

I thought he agreed to wait until December to do the divorce papers?


----------



## tine434

I did too. Instead he meant let me stay in the house and pay the expenses til December..


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> He out in the divorce papers that he would keep all the dogs (if I couldn't find an affordable place that would allow them)..... Please God don't let it come to that decision though.



If it's really moving forward in that direction, please make sure the papers specify that you reserve the right to reclaim ownership once a suitable residence is set up. 

If he ends up taking the dogs temporarily, it'll be OK. I promise. 

My mom kicked me out when I was 20 (even though I was going to school full time, working full time, and pay of equal parts of the bills). I had NO WHERE to stay, least of all no way to take my two cats with me. She kept the cats for a few months until I was able to get an apartment and pay my pet deposit. They've stayed with me ever since. 

Don't let your current circumstances define your future. I went from being homeless to owning my own home in only 8 years. You can achieve ANYTHING. I believe in you 110%.


----------



## tikiandme

At this point, if you haven't already done so, lawyer up. Don't sign anything until you have a lawyer look things over. If things turn for the better later, great. But until then you need to protect yourself. I wish the absolute best for you. Take care.


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



tine434 said:


> He put in the divorce papers that he would keep all the dogs (if I couldn't find an affordable place that would allow them)..... Please God don't let it come to that decision though.


Tine: Please make sure you get a lawyer-don't sign anything until you do!


----------



## wjane

I've gone through a divorce - DON"T SIGN ANYTHING until you have a lawyer, working for YOU, review it. I too wish I were closer to offer dogsitting, housing etc. Stay strong dear.


----------



## tine434

wjane said:


> I've gone through a divorce - DON"T SIGN ANYTHING until you have a lawyer, working for YOU, review it. I too wish I were closer to offer dogsitting, housing etc. Stay strong dear.


I know......


----------



## pb2b

You also have the right to take some time to digest all of this before moving forward. I hope he isn't trying to rush you. 

I hope he at least respects that he dropped a bomb on you and you need a little time to gather yourself.


----------



## tine434

pb2b said:


> You also have the right to take some time to digest all of this before moving forward. I hope he isn't trying to rush you.
> 
> I hope he at least respects that he dropped a bomb on you and you need a little time to gather yourself.


How do I have that right?
Don't I have to respond within 30 days?


----------



## pb2b

I think your lawyer can request an extension or at least help you file a response that may buy you some time.


----------



## tine434

pb2b said:


> I think your lawyer can request an extension or at least help you file a response that may buy you some time.


I'm going to tell him to make it last as long as possible.


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> I'm going to tell him to make it last as long as possible.



Tine - i don't know if the law varies by state, but i believe he is responsible to help you financially. As others have said, a lawyer can tell you your rights.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

We are thinking of you this morning and hope you and the pups have a good weekend, in spite of all you are faced with. Hope they are doing well and don't feel the stress -- they are good friends and comforters, so give them big hugs and kisses.

Give yourself some good encouragement and hugs, too. Be strong. Don't let yourself be intimidated or backed into a corner while you are in this whirlwind of emotional feelings -- may you "be the head, and not the tail" in this situation.

You weren't the one who strayed or made the divorce decision. Don't let anyone turn it on you and pressure you into quick decisions that take advantage of your emotional feelings. Take time (and a good lawyer) to work through what you need to do for yourself. This has turned your whole life upside down, and will effect the rest of your life. You need time.


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> My husband just told me he wants a divorce. He packed all his things and left me here with our family.
> 
> It isn't over until it's over...
> 
> But I am looking at these 4 furry faces and wondering what in the world I am going to do.


I am just now seeing this. I am so so sorry, I can not imagine what you are going through. I don't have words to express my heartbreak for you, but no that I will be praying for you.


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Today has been tough to wake up to...
> Kevin's papa is on a ventilator only using 20% of his own.... it kills me to not be there. Prayers are requesed (if you do pray) for this family, the Great Comforter to send down his comfort on them. It is just killing me as I want to be there and hold them all. They're my family, he is my papa....


Go see him. I know it has to be hard, but I think you should go.


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> I'm going to ask for some prayer warriors to dedicate daily prayer time for me during this period. I am believing God for the restoration of my marriage, no matter how crazy people think that is. And I ask for those who can be in agreement with that or at least in agreement that God has a perfect plan and will that nothing can touch and who can pray for that perfect plan, please write me down.
> 
> I'm struggling with my family thinking I am stupid for looking for reconciliation, but that's ok. I believe it can and will be done.


I will dedicate time daily in prayer for you. God is a God of restoration, and He will restore. If there is anything, anything I can do let me know and I will do my best (even just offering a listening ear over the phone). I know you don't know me personally, but I have grown to love you over the forum and we are sisters in Christ. Lean into Jesus, He will take care of you.


----------



## golfgal

Thinking of you this weekend. You can either sign what he wants or have it changed to what works for you also. It varies by state, but I think you should have at least 30 days to respond.


----------



## tine434

Good days and bad days but we are making it. Thank you all...


----------



## tine434

I could jump and scream today. God answered a prayer, right on time. Nothing directly to do with Kevin or the pending divorce, but everything to do with my faith, ability, and direction.

Wish I had stories of the babies to give, or something but everything has been a little off balance lately.

But I really feel like, we will be ok. Somehow and someway.


----------



## hubbub

Hold that feeling and remember it when the darkness starts to creep in - you will be ok


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Good news to hear from you! Sounds as if you are staying strong ...

Your babies are looking good. Roxi looks as if she got into a little mud puddle -- she is a little cutie! Red looks puzzled and Rem looks very relaxed. Give them hugs and kisses from us. A big, warm hug to you, too!


----------



## tine434

The way he cuddles tho lol


----------



## jennretz

Hope you had a better than expected weekend. Enjoyed your pictures.


----------



## 1oldparson

Continuing to pray for you. 

Psalm 31:24 Be of good courage,And He shall strengthen your heart,All you who hope in the Lord.


----------



## tine434

I've been going to the gym daily as something to pass the time. I spend most of my time alone at home with the puppies, no family really close enough for them to visit us much, so the gym helps keep me occupied.

I am officially in a size smaller of everything! It feels pretty good to be active again


----------



## tine434

I am so exhausted. I literally wake up at midnight feeling like I have been struggling to sleep all night. If that makes sense. I will toss and turn and am sure it will be like 6am, just to find out it is midnight or 1am.

I have not heard anything from Kev, not a word. I've reached out some as I need help with the puppies... But nothing. I officially go back to work this week and will be returning to class assignments and school also. 

I may come home and take a nap today lol. I'm telling you, TIRED! Poor pups can't keep up with my odd schedule but they don't mind breakfast at 3am


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

I am very sorry for what you are going thru right now, just to let you know we are stronger than we think. Hugs to you and your babies.


----------



## JMME

I'm just reading this thread and I'm so sorry for what you are going through! Worse case scenario, could you finish out the semester and take a leave of absence for a semester to get everything settled and possibly apply for more financial aid/scholarships? I'm praying that everything works out! Sometimes we are faced with things that we feel like we can't handle, but there is a bigger picture that we can't always see. You seem like a very strong person and I wish you the best. Congrats on the weight loss too! That always a great feeling


----------



## ZeppGold

Hang in there.... Praying for you....


----------



## tine434

Just sharing to everyone who knew about my fitness journey.


----------



## Belle's Mom

That is incredible!! 

How long has it taken you to lose it? What have you been doing?


----------



## tine434

I've been working on it for a couple of months.... working out a lot, weights with only a little cardio, and monitoring what I eat. Making healthier versions of my favorite things, etc


----------



## Belle's Mom

You should be very proud of yourself. That is just fabulous!


----------



## Brave

Congrats!!!!!!!!


----------



## Wendy427

Excellent! Bravo!


----------



## tine434

I edited that one so it cut out the bra and the boy shorts I didn't want to offend anyone, but in the full pics you can tell more even in my arms and legs also


----------



## golfgal

You look great. Working out and looking after your crew. Great job.


----------



## tine434

My crew has gotten a bit out of hand.... Rem is humping Red more and they actually got into a FIGHT the other morning. =( it has been hard with everything going on and being the only one


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*

Tine

Wow! You look fantastic!! Congratulations!
I know it might be hard to believe at your young age (young compared to me), but as far as Kev goes, whatever God wants to be, will be. If he doesn't know how beautiful, wonderful and sweet you are, he doesn't deserve you.
There is someone out there that will cherish you and treat you like a Princess!


----------



## Tennyson

YOWZAAAAAAAAAA!
Great job!!!!


----------



## Melfice

tine434 said:


> I've been working on it for a couple of months.... working out a lot, weights with only a little cardio, and monitoring what I eat. Making healthier versions of my favorite things, etc


Wow with little cardio very nice


----------



## tine434

Was anyone else aware Kevin and I have been separated since June 1st? Here I was thinking he left Sept 28th :,) hahahhaa.... Wow.

That's all I'm saying for now til I get a lawyer.

Today I eat pizza and cookies and it will be awesome! =)


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> Was anyone else aware Kevin and I have been separated since June 1st? Here I was thinking he left Sept 28th :,) hahahhaa.... Wow.
> 
> That's all I'm saying for now til I get a lawyer.
> 
> Today I eat pizza and cookies and it will be awesome! =)



((((Hugs))))))

He's probably re-writing his version of history to make his actions seem better than they really are. Don't let him get away with it. Get that lawyer and protect yourself.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

What?!!! Is he under a delusion? Lost touch with reality? (Drugs or mesmerized by that woman?) Something seems way off with his actions, i.e. someone is filling his head with illusions...poor man.

'Nuff said...


----------



## Brave

Tosh's Legacy said:


> What?!!! Is he under a delusion? Lost touch with reality? (Drugs or mesmerized by that woman?) Something seems way off with his actions, i.e. someone is filling his head with illusions...poor man.
> 
> 'Nuff said...



Unfortunately it happens all to often. Cheaters re-write their history to condone or justify the cheating. I've seen it over and over on the marriage forum I belong too. When caught or after coming out, suddenly the cheater "never loved" the betrayed spouse. Or never wanted to get married. Or their needs weren't met. Or so on and so forth. Anything to assuage the conflicting emotions, and to get away scot free with no responsibility for the crippled, and crumbling marriage. 

And imagine being on the betrayed spouse side.... To hear these lies perpetuated as truths. Like their cheating wasn't enough damage already. 

Shake. My. Darn. Head.


----------



## Melfice

Brave said:


> Unfortunately it happens all to often. Cheaters re-write their history to condone or justify the cheating. I've seen it over and over on the marriage forum I belong too. When caught or after coming out, suddenly the cheater "never loved" the betrayed spouse. Or never wanted to get married. Or their needs weren't met. Or so on and so forth. Anything to assuage the conflicting emotions, and to get away scot free with no responsibility for the crippled, and crumbling marriage.
> 
> And imagine being on the betrayed spouse side.... To hear these lies perpetuated as truths. Like their cheating wasn't enough damage already.
> 
> Shake. My. Darn. Head.


Well most people who cheat, do it because their needs are not being met in some form, no? 

I'm not talking about this care here, but I mean in general etc


----------



## tine434

Yes he told a coworker I rarely 'slept' with him.

Let's just say we did have arguments about 'that', but I was always the one arguing the subject. Sorry if that is TMI but it hurt SO BAD to hear my problems be repeated to others as his, and turned against me.

I still stand and pray for him though. This is insane and is so unlike my husband.


----------



## Melfice

tine434 said:


> Yes he told a coworker I rarely had sec with him.
> 
> Let's just say we did have arguments about sex, but I was always the one arguing the subject. Sorry if that is TMI but it hurt SO BAD to hear my problems be repeated to others as his, and turned against me.
> 
> I still stand and pray for him though. This is insane and is so unlike my husband.


We are all grown adults here  

No need to worry about talking about subjects and what's on your mind.

Yeah I bet this is tearing you apart inside. Don't worry, one day it will be all in the past, and you can move on with life


----------



## Brave

Melfice said:


> Well most people who cheat, do it because their needs are not being meant in some form, no?
> 
> I'm not talking about this care here, but I mean in general etc



I don't think so. I think that people chest because they either miss the thrill of infatuation (which naturally goes away the longer you are with someone), because they are selfish and don't care about their partner or the commitment they made to them, or because there was a break down in communications. If someone's needs aren't being met, talk to the spouse. Figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. If it cannot be fixed to their liking, divorce BEFORE you cheat. 

And to be honest, the excuse of "well it's not my fault my needs weren't being met" is just another way to shift blame from the culpable party (ie the cheater) to the betrayed spouse. Idk what the other party did or didn't do. There is NO justification for cheating. And blaming the spouse because they weren't getting laid enough so they went sniffing elsewhere, is extremely disrespectful.


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Was anyone else aware Kevin and I have been separated since June 1st? Here I was thinking he left Sept 28th :,) hahahhaa.... Wow.
> 
> That's all I'm saying for now til I get a lawyer.
> 
> Today I eat pizza and cookies and it will be awesome! =)


Oh honey… you poor sweetheart. I will continue to pray.


----------



## tine434

Yes as a clinical social worker I do agree. Cheating is a PERSONAL problem, not a spousal problem. You can't count on another person to meet your needs all the time, period. You can't pin your happiness and satisfaction on another. You made a vow and it did not say.... If my needs are not met I'm doing xyz. 

Most cheaters will do so to ANYONE in ANY case because they cannot meet their own emotional needs for acceptance love etc


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> Yes he told a coworker I rarely 'slept' with him.
> 
> Let's just say we did have arguments about 'that', but I was always the one arguing the subject. Sorry if that is TMI but it hurt SO BAD to hear my problems be repeated to others as his, and turned against me.
> 
> I still stand and pray for him though. This is insane and is so unlike my husband.



I think the venting and turning problems around is a maturity thing. I'm only 27, and before I got married (at 23) if my husband and I were fighting. I would vent to anyone who would listen. Because I wanted to be heard and sympathized with. That changed as I matured because I realize that doesn't matter. What matters is communicating with my husband. 

If you want to talk about bedroom activities, feel free to PM me. My husband and I have had our fair share of conflicts in that arena. You're not alone. We love you and are here for you.


----------



## Melfice

Brave said:


> I don't think so. I think that people chest because they either miss the thrill of infatuation (which naturally goes away the longer you are with someone), because they are selfish and don't care about their partner or the commitment they made to them, or because there was a break down in communications. If someone's needs aren't being met, talk to the spouse. Figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. If it cannot be fixed to their liking, divorce BEFORE you cheat.
> 
> And to be honest, the excuse of "well it's not my fault my needs weren't being met" is just another way to shift blame from the culpable party (ie the cheater) to the betrayed spouse. Idk what the other party did or didn't do. There is NO justification for cheating. And blaming the spouse because they weren't getting laid enough so they went sniffing elsewhere, is extremely disrespectful.


I feel the same way, but the world is not so black and white. And we don't know all the details of each person's lives. We hear one side but what about the other? 

There are people who I know, married and things fell apart over the years. Sometimes it because the other person is a *@#&*()[email protected]*# and you can't talk to them. There are always two sides to the coin, or story.

Also, people stop loving each other too...this happens more than people want to admit. Anyway, I do agree with what you have to say, but it is never that simple in real life.

Blah...I will stop because I'm sure tine434 does not want to hear this haha she needs more happy comments and support


----------



## Eowyn

Melfice said:


> We are all grown adults here


There are minors on this forum. It is a public forum.


----------



## tine434

Last thing I will say about this, period.. but if it was me that was not fulfilling those requirements for him then why did HE end up at the doctor for blood work and testing? What changed was I went from arguing about it daily to just letting it go and accepting it, as much as it hurt and I felt like my needs were not met. I just stopped fighting it.

We still did things, just not as frequently as I'd like obviously.

But to hear those words come back to me just tore me apart. I never spoke to others about that issue, how dare he now use it as a sword against me to even his coworkers? It hurt bad.

I forgive him at this point, but it hasn't been an easy battle. The day I heard that I fell apart for 2 days


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> Yes as a clinical social worker I do agree. Cheating is a PERSONAL problem, not a spousal problem. You can't count on another person to meet your needs all the time, period. You can't pin your happiness and satisfaction on another. You made a vow and it did not say.... If my needs are not met I'm doing xyz.
> 
> Most cheaters will do so to ANYONE in ANY case because they cannot meet their own emotional needs for acceptance love etc



Yes. Yes. Yes. 

I'll tell y'all a story. A few months after my now-husband proposed. I had an emotional crisis and didn't think I could marry my first and only boyfriend. I wanted to go out there and date and experience what the world had to offer. So I broke off our engagement and broke up with my now-husband. We did a trial separation that was supposed to last 6 months. We made an agreement tat we could both go out and have relations with other people since we were no longer together. So I did. And I hated it. 

There was a problem with ME and MY self-esteem and MY confidence in that I could be loved. That I deserved to be loved. So I risked everything to try to fill that need by doing everything that wouldn't have helped. After 6 weeks I realized I had made a stupid mistake and begged my now-husband to take me back. 

Luckily he did and our relationship is stronger for it. Most days I feel like I cheated even though we made clearly defined boundaries and my husband stands by the statement that I did nothing wrong. 

That's the closest I've come to cheating. And it's always been MY FAULT. I couldn't imagine blaming my husband for an emotional storm within myself.


----------



## tine434

I also want to add to my last post it hurts me the MOST because I actually had to bring it up in therapy. At first I'd cry, hit, throw, lash out, just went into depression and self doubt because of what he was not giving me....

I actually worked thru that during therapy and loved my husband equally in the end.

So I guess because of how HUGE of an issue that was for me, it definitely made the biggest impact of anything he has said.


----------



## Brave

Melfice said:


> I feel the same way, but the world is not so black and white. And we don't know all the details of each person's lives. We hear one side but what about the other?
> 
> There are people who I know, married and things fell apart over the years. Sometimes it because the other person is a *@#&*()[email protected]*# and you can't talk to them. There are always two sides to the coin, or story.
> 
> Also, people stop loving each other too...this happens more than people want to admit. Anyway, I do agree with what you have to say, but it is never that simple in real life.
> 
> Blah...I will stop because I'm sure tine434 does not want to hear this haha she needs more happy comments and support



That may very well be true. There are two sides to every story. But the answer to any problem within a relationship or marriage is NEVER cheating. If a spouse is unhappy or no longer loves their partner or isn't getting their needs met and their partner is uncooperative about it.... Leave! Divorce them and move on. Don't cheat.


----------



## Melfice

Brave said:


> Yes. Yes. Yes.
> 
> I'll tell y'all a story. A few months after my now-husband proposed. I had an emotional crisis and didn't think I could marry my first and only boyfriend. I wanted to go out there and date and experience what the world had to offer. So I broke off our engagement and broke up with my now-husband. We did a trial separation that was supposed to last 6 months. We made an agreement tat we could both go out and have relations with other people since we were no longer together. So I did. And I hated it.
> 
> There was a problem with ME and MY self-esteem and MY confidence in that I could be loved. That I deserved to be loved. So I risked everything to try to fill that need by doing everything that wouldn't have helped. After 6 weeks I realized I had made a stupid mistake and begged my now-husband to take me back.
> 
> Luckily he did and our relationship is stronger for it. Most days I feel like I cheated even though we made clearly defined boundaries and my husband stands by the statement that I did nothing wrong.
> 
> That's the closest I've come to cheating. And it's always been MY FAULT. I couldn't imagine blaming my husband for an emotional storm within myself.


This sounds like what most people do, and go thru btw 

You are not alone haha. That's how we all learn and become better adults. Well that's the idea at least


----------



## tine434

Eowyn said:


> There are minors on this forum. It is a public forum.


I changed the wording because of that


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> I changed the wording because of that


I saw that and appreciate it. I just thought I would point that out when someone said it was all adults.


----------



## Eowyn

I made these when I was thinking of you and praying for you this evening. I hope they bless you.


----------



## tine434

Thank you so much =) I'm still holding strong and praying for Kevin to return home. And I'm trying to hold strong to my faith for strength. Trying to heal...


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Thank you so much =) I'm still holding strong and praying for Kevin to return home. And I'm trying to hold strong to my faith for strength. Trying to heal...


God's got ya. He's got ya.


----------



## tine434

Just found out I'm about to hit some hard money problems..... bluh. Maybe I'll try to explain later when not so upset


----------



## Brave

((((((Hugs))))))


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Understanding all too well why you are upset with money problems! On top of the other situation, it can really put an giant emotional load on you. You are being held up by prayers and God's love by many here. Warm hugs from all of your forum friends!


----------



## tine434

The lawyer is going to be about $1500.... Wowz... That is like 2 months pay for me! Then Kevin was supposed to pay to cut off the TV in my name for $270 but he said no now and instead spent $220 taking her to the theme park.... You guys, this all sucks. I'm so far behind on homework I am trying to catch up today, test monday.... But it is hard to concentrate.


----------



## Brave

Get the lawyer. They don't require payment up front. Call the cable company yourself and turn it off. If they want you to pay to Cxl your subscription or whatever work out a payment plan. This isn't the end of things. You are doing this. Hang in there.


----------



## tine434

I am getting the lawyer, I have to.

The paperwork said he left June 1st, nothing about him not being able to harm my credit when he takes the car, no taking mutual debts, etc... Too many variables missing. I haven't been legally served the papers yet though, thank God. Every day is more time to prepare myself. 

It is direct TV, but all other bills are in my name also. Water, internet, electric, etc etc. Direct TV was just for him, I never watch it. Idk how it works if he gets mad he can just stop paying bills or what, I have no idea =/ so far he's paid them...

It's very scary actually. I'm leaning on God, but the unknown factors are definitely frightening.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Oh, yeah! the unknown is always frightening! It sometimes can get scarier than reality, because our fears and imaginations can run off with the tiniest thoughts and make a monsters out of them.Then you find yourself tucking your tail and slinking off because you are afraid to face them. The best way to overcome all those fears you have is to take ahold of them and be in control. The enemy of your soul will try to take advantage of every emotional weakness you have to bring you down even further. Try to put your emotions in the back seat, take a deep breath and let your faith guide you. That's where your intelligence along with your faith will work very well for you. Stay on top -- don't let yourself become a victim.

Most lawyer's will let you pay a deposit and make payments. Another thought: since Kevin left you and you are placed in a circumstance not of your choosing, have your lawyer work it so that Kevin pays for all legal fees, as well as well as whatever he can legally work out so that you don't have to pay any bills, etc.

If you have creditors that you can't pay, call them and speak to someone about lowering payments. Then write a letter to verify what arrangement you made. Get everything in writing and save whatever paperwork you think you may need.

Get that lawyer soon -- and then sit down, have a glass of wine and relax. Let yourself cry it out as much as you need. Don't be mean-spirited, but don't let yourself be ground into the dirt either. (Remember the serpent/dove admonition?)

Meanwhile, if Kevin does come to his senses, you will have grown tremendously in your life experience and wisdom and be a better woman for it.


----------



## Tennyson

I'd be very cautious as to what is posted on a public forum where litigation is almost a sure thing.


----------



## Brave

Call direct TV. Tell them the account holder moved and the service needs to be terminated immediately.


----------



## tine434

Tennyson said:


> I'd be very cautious as to what is posted on a public forum where litigation is almost a sure thing.


Considering that imagine all the things I've not said to anyone at all.... bluh


----------



## golfgal

Hang in there. Sadly he won't be the first to rewrite history to make himself look. Probably so it doesn't look like an affair if he had already left or to satisfy the timeframe for living apart to fast track separation and/or divorce requirements. 

I too have been procrastinating studying for my courses so I'll kick your butt and you can kick mine. Now if only mine looked as good as yours. hmmmm


----------



## tine434

Brothers make the best pillows


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

What a sweet picture! Give them (all four of them) cuddles and hugs from us ...


----------



## lhowemt

I am just reading this and wanted you to send a big hug. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Wow it sounds hard. But you will make it through it. Down the road this will be a bad dream, however it works out I wish you the best.


----------



## tine434

After a rough weekend I'm gaining some control...
Yesterday I took time to organize my office and appointment books, get that in order. 

Today I took off of work to catch up on homework assignments and complete tests that I have waiting on me. 4pm is my test and then I'll Skype into class for the first time since this all happened.

I've began some things to protect myself in case this does go thru to a divorce.

I bought some heat up dinners cause I am struggling to eat enough since I have not had the heart to cook.

I feel like things are kind of getting back on track finally.


----------



## ZeppGold

Thanks for the update. One day at a time. Still praying for you.


----------



## Brave

I'm so proud of you.


----------



## tine434

Let's not get too proud too fast lol. I'm still struggling to get thru today, whew. It hasn't been easy but I'm trucking on I suppose


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> Let's not get too proud too fast lol. I'm still struggling to get thru today, whew. It hasn't been easy but I'm trucking on I suppose



Pish posh!!! Look at how far you've come and accomplished, especially given the bombshell you were hit with just a few short weeks ago. I will stand here and do the proud friend dance 24/7. You are doing so well. I know it doesn't feel like it. But you are.


----------



## Belle's Mom

I am 100% with Brave on this one. One day at a time, one step at a time - you are doing FABULOUS and we are proud of you!!!


----------



## tine434

Thanks y'all. You have no idea how hard support is to come by around here....

Especially when people know that yes, I do still pray and wish for my marriage to be restored. Then suddenly if I hurt it's like "oh, your fault for wanting it back" lol. Ok..... =S


----------



## Belle's Mom

No one can tell you what is right for your personal life, but you.

My thoughts for what they are worth. You want your marriage restored and I respect that and am praying that you are given the desires of your heart. 

IF that does not happen and the divorce goes thru - which none of us can control - then you are a beautiful smart woman who is still improving herself mentally and physically every day and will find someone else...I am actually thinking you will have men pursuing you before you are ready for it and have totally healed from this situation - that is if your marriage is not restored.


----------



## Melfice

Belle's Mom said:


> No one can tell you what is right for your personal life, but you.
> 
> My thoughts for what they are worth. You want your marriage restored and I respect that and am praying that you are given the desires of your heart.
> 
> IF that does not happen and the divorce goes thru - which none of us can control - then you are a beautiful smart woman who is still improving herself mentally and physically every day and will find someone else...I am actually thinking you will have men pursuing you before you are ready for it and have totally healed from this situation - that is if your marriage is not restored.


Very true and I agree with you as well


----------



## mylissyk

Brave said:


> Pish posh!!! Look at how far you've come and accomplished, especially given the bombshell you were hit with just a few short weeks ago. I will stand here and do the proud friend dance 24/7. You are doing so well. I know it doesn't feel like it. But you are.


I'll second that!


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Thanks y'all. You have no idea how hard support is to come by around here....
> 
> Especially when people know that yes, I do still pray and wish for my marriage to be restored. Then suddenly if I hurt it's like "oh, your fault for wanting it back" lol. Ok..... =S


For what it's worth, I am standing by you 100% in this. I'm amazed in your courage to try and save your marriage, and pray for you constantly. God's Spirit is in the marriage covenant and He is strong enough to save.

P.S. Did you see my last pm?


----------



## hubbub

Count me in as a third, fourth, fifth....whatever-th!


----------



## golfgal

How was the exam and class? Do you have some breathing room now studying wise. Somedays it may just be an hour by hour thing. Take whatever good you can from each day and don't beat yourself up for wanting your relationship back. Hugs from me and kisses from the Murph monster.


----------



## tine434

I think I did good on the exam. As far as breathing room, I have a huge paper due soon that will take a lot of time. It's harder to be at home alone to do homework, but when I leave I don't get it done so it's a slow process lol.

While I was "attending class" I had to keep puppies outside they acted like I had surely killed them after 3 hours out there lol


----------



## golfgal

Great. My colleagues keep telling me a squeaker pass is still a pass as no one ever asks what you scored once you have the credentials. Now go celebrate finishing the class. It's been a good day.


----------



## tine434

golfgal said:


> Great. My colleagues keep telling me a squeaker pass is still a pass as no one ever asks what you scored once you have the credentials. Now go celebrate finishing the class. It's been a good day.


In my field of study you have to at least make a B, whew. Lol

It really was a good day yesterday. I feel accomplished. Today I will be going out of town to work and then having another class I will virtually attend this evening. And I finally scheduled the oil change appointment that is 3k miles over due! =o gracious. Assuming class is over in time I will try to scurry on over to revival at my friend's church.

So it is another jam packed day of catching up that I have to do. Hopefully after this I will actually be on track with assignments, not ahead like what is normal for me, but at least on track.


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



Belle's Mom said:


> No one can tell you what is right for your personal life, but you.
> 
> My thoughts for what they are worth. You want your marriage restored and I respect that and am praying that you are given the desires of your heart.
> 
> IF that does not happen and the divorce goes thru - which none of us can control - then you are a beautiful smart woman who is still improving herself mentally and physically every day and will find someone else...I am actually thinking you will have men pursuing you before you are ready for it and have totally healed from this situation - that is if your marriage is not restored.


Tine: I am so Proud of you! I completely agree with what Belle's Mom said.
I also feel that whatever God's will is, will be. One Day at a Time!


----------



## tine434

He still tries to fit on his old puppy bed...


----------



## tine434

So they called Kevin's family in yesterday for his papa..... It's down to the wire. I'm not there with them and it hurts but I've sent every outreach I can to let them all know that I love them and am here for them. Even to Kevin who I have not spoken to for a week.

They've been on my mind constantly. I love that whole family more than they'll ever know. I didn't show them a whole lot before as I was so busy holding anger and resentment to some.

I've grown a whole lot thru these events. 

Today I will work some and then have a dinner date with my brother who no one would ever have thought to become my biggest support. He isn't a family man lol at all! But thru this he checks on me daily, invites me over, and always offers to get me food if I'm hungry or take me places I want to go. It's amazing to see because many of the supports I would have thought to be there haven't been, odd how that happens.


----------



## pb2b

Way to go brother. Yes it is always interesting to see who comes to your side during difficult times.


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



tine434 said:


> In my field of study you have to at least make a B, whew. Lol
> 
> It really was a good day yesterday. I feel accomplished. Today I will be going out of town to work and then having another class I will virtually attend this evening. And I finally scheduled the oil change appointment that is 3k miles over due! =o gracious. Assuming class is over in time I will try to scurry on over to revival at my friend's church.
> 
> So it is another jam packed day of catching up that I have to do. Hopefully after this I will actually be on track with assignments, not ahead like what is normal for me, but at least on track.


Tine: You are doing so well. Glad you got the oil appt. scheduled and so GLAD that your brother is such a support to you.


----------



## tine434

I was late for my date last night lol
It was my brother, sister, their spouses and all 6 of their kids. Big group. I had a lot of fun!

They joked because I had to primp and get ready so I was about 10min late then I had to lint roll before I went in (golden owners, you know about that!) I told them hey its been a minute since I went on a date lol leave me alone. 

I ate fried pickles, fried wings, fries, fried oreos and icecream. Get the concept? I got so sick I barely made it home! >. < healthy eating then doing that did not mix apparently!


----------



## Brave

You look amazing. I am so proud of you.
I hear ya one the healthy eating not mixing with junk food. Boo.


----------



## tine434

I feel really good also! Like really good. I used to be a size 4, I'm a size 10 right now so definitely not my smallest. My body usually stays easily around a size 6, that's my comfort size & the eventual goal, but it doesn't matter I've felt very good and confident. 

Except for lack of clothing lol. I have 1 pair of jeans 1 pair of black pants and 2 shirts that fit >. < but I'm still in between sizes so I can't really buy anything yet either so I just wash clothes all the time! Lol


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I have a few friends who have lost a lot of weight. While they were going through the transition period of various sizes, they shopped at Clothing Resale shops for clothes until they reached their desired weight. This way, they didn't invest a lot of money into clothes.

You're doing a great job, keep up the good work, you should be very proud of yourself.


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



tine434 said:


> I feel really good also! Like really good. I used to be a size 4, I'm a size 10 right now so definitely not my smallest. My body usually stays easily around a size 6, that's my comfort size & the eventual goal, but it doesn't matter I've felt very good and confident.
> 
> Except for lack of clothing lol. I have 1 pair of jeans 1 pair of black pants and 2 shirts that fit >. < but I'm still in between sizes so I can't really buy anything yet either so I just wash clothes all the time! Lol


I think a size 10 is marvelous.
I'm with Sandy. My sister who has lots of money, often shops at Goodwill or other resale shops and finds DARLING CLOTHES for next to nothing!


----------



## tine434

Karen519 said:


> I think a size 10 is marvelous.
> I'm with Sandy. My sister who has lots of money, often shops at Goodwill or other resale shops and finds DARLING CLOTHES for next to nothing!


I'm In a very very poverty ridden small town, you don't really find decent clothes and second hand stores. I've tried and tried. Now if I go to a bigger city then I find a lot. Maybe I'll have to set up a time to take a road trip lol


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



tine434 said:


> I'm In a very very poverty ridden small town, you don't really find decent clothes and second hand stores. I've tried and tried. Now if I go to a bigger city then I find a lot. Maybe I'll have to set up a time to take a road trip lol


Yes, a road trip might be a good idea.


----------



## Brave

I'm transitioning out of my size 26 pants (finally!!!!) and all I have stored is a few pairs of size 24. When those get too big (even now for my size 26) I'm pig to belt it up instead of wasting money buying smaller sizes that'll last less than a year. Especially at $20-$50 a pair. Ouch!!!


----------



## tine434

Brave said:


> I'm transitioning out of my size 26 pants (finally!!!!) and all I have stored is a few pairs of size 24. When those get too big (even now for my size 26) I'm pig to belt it up instead of wasting money buying smaller sizes that'll last less than a year. Especially at $20-$50 a pair. Ouch!!!


Yup! My stomach loses weight much fast than my legs and arms also... so shirts get baggy and hang on me but smaller ones won't fit my arms. Pants won't stay up but smaller sizes won't fit my legs. So anyway, it's pointless to try to shop unless stuff literally CANNOT be worn anymore.

Kevin and me texted today a little. His papa passed away. He welcomed me to the funeral and viewing and apologized for not inviting me to the hospital, said he wished I would have asked


----------



## Brave

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rip Papa. (((((Hugs)))))


----------



## lhowemt

I am so sorry. I too adore my entire inlaw family. Hang in there.


----------



## Eowyn

I am so sorry to hear of Papa's passing!


----------



## golfgal

Sorry for the loss and that you couldn't be at the hospital. Go to the memorial if you feel comfortable.


----------



## tine434

She loves her some movie night


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I'm sorry Papa has passed away, my thoughts and prayers to everyone.


----------



## Karen519

*Papa*

Sorry for your loss of Papa.

Tine: No matter what size people are, I'm convinced things never fit exact.
For me, too, if they fit in the waist, they're loose in the hips and thighs!


----------



## Belle's Mom

Thinking of you and hope you are doing OK.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

You are on my heart ... stay strong!


----------



## tine434

Thanks everyone. Been a rough week.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I've been away from the boards for a while and am just catching up..oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry you're going through this!

I have every faith in your intelligence, strength, and beauty to get you through this. Trust your instincts...I'm a believer in people more than in religion and I believe in you.

If I lived closer I would happily take in your crew as fosters until you get through this and I know I'm not the only one. 

It will work out. I went through a divorce at age 25 and it turned out to be the best thing for both of us, looking back.

Whatever ends up happening with your marriage, know that you are a star. Sending you strength and faith in you.


----------



## tine434

Last I heard he's now decided not to sell the house (a week ago he said he was going to sell) so then maybe he'd keep the puppies until I find a place for them....


----------



## ZeppGold

Still praying for you and the whole situation.


----------



## golfgal

If you're married don't you also need to be involved in the decision to sell the house? It's a marital property I would have thought. Can you work something out where you pay him out for his half over x period of time, presuming you want to stay in the house. 

Keeping you in my thoughts even if not posting.


----------



## tine434

There is a lot that goes into the house. The payment cost me 1 and a half of my checks, just for the house payment. The house will have to be refinanced or sold to remove the others name from the mortgage loan. I would rather him stay here and keep the puppies, but I can't force him to do a thing. Altho he did mention staying now, who knows. I can't afford the house payment until after May assuming i graduate and get a good job.

I just don't want my puppies gone when after May there is some hope that maybe just maybe I'd be stable in a pet friendly place! It's so FRUSTRATING!!!


----------



## Eowyn

Noreaster said:


> If I lived closer I would happily take in your crew as fosters until you get through this and I know I'm not the only one.


Where are you? Would you actually be serious about fostering? Because if it was the difference between Tine keeping her pups or not, I bet the forum could put together a transport to get the dogs to you, and then later to get them back to her... Just a thought.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I'm in northern Maine which is a shlep but probably doable...but just found out DH has to have a total knee replacement in ten days, so I have to be sensible and recognize that we really can't, although he tried to say we could.

Tine, can the rescue you've done so much for help you find some temporary homes if you have to?

ETA: The more I think about this, the more I hope you're hiring a lawyer as in yesterday.. You have property rights in that house and depending on the laws where you live, you can go after spousal support from him. He doesn't get to jerk you around like this without consequences. 

I know you're in shock and you have a thousand other things to do, but please, please don't agree to anything in a text or email or sign ANYTHING until you've talked to a divorce lawyer and preferably a mean one. If he comes to his sense, and he certainly wouldn't be the first person who had a case of temporary hormone-driven insanity, then you can regroup. But you need to know your rights. Call your local legal aid society and see if there are some free or low-cost resources available to you.

ETA2: I found this site...http://www.georgialegalaid.org/find-legal-help


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## tine434

I do have a lawyer.

Married only 2 years. No spousal support, shoot Kevin doesn't even have the pay the house or car if he doesn't want to the judge would just let it go foreclosure and repossession. In GA 2 years isn't enough for anything.


----------



## tine434

That's what 3 lawyers have told me actually. The one I settled on was the one willing to at least fight Kevin.


----------



## tine434

I get so frustrated.... people say oh you can get him for adultery. Oh you can get alimony. Oh you deserve half of the homes equity. Oh you deserve half of the value of home contents.

People don't seem to realize I've exhausted my efforts. We met as 2 really broke young kids. We moved from a project apartment to a nice home in a subdivision and brought all of our second hand items with us. I spent 4 years with Kevin building his credit, putting in job applications for him (getting him from part time furniture mover to full time federal career), etc etc as he asked but didn't know how to do. And now this is where we are. I've built up what I thought was OUR life to realize I actually built HIS life. I built HIS credit I gave HIM a home and this life.

Me? GA doesn't care! You don't even have to live separate to file a divorce here! Only one spouse has to want to the divorce. Like, nothing that I've done the past 4 years together and 2 years married matters at all to Georgia. What matters is Kevin wants out. Period.


----------



## ZeppGold

Just to throw this out there... If you stay in the house and refuse to leave it and let it go to foreclosure. That can take a long time. At least it can here in Virginia. I have known people to live rent free for awhile. Can you do that and see if it can get you over this hump? I know it is not a great idea, but it is something to think about.


----------



## jennretz

ZeppGold said:


> Just to throw this out there... If you stay in the house and refuse to leave it and let it go to foreclosure. That can take a long time. At least it can here in Virginia. I have known people to live rent free for awhile. Can you do that and see if it can get you over this hump? I know it is not a great idea, but it is something to think about.



There might be something to this...


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

The foreclosure process is very lengthy (at least here in Florida), which may give you time to get through school, find a job and get on your feet. If you can work out a way to stay in the house without a problem, that would be great. Confer with your lawyer on this.

We lost everything (big corporate job, retirement, etc., etc.) in 2009 -- just when my husband was ready to retire. After everything (savings, etc.) ran out, we could not make payments. Although we did not have to leave the house, we chose a Deed in Lieu of Foreclosure and Chapter 7 Bankruptcy because we were financially (and every other way) down to zero and had no choice.

We left the house two years ago and it is FINALLY legally going into foreclosure now:
5 years later!! We could have stayed in the house the entire time until we received eviction notice, but chose not to. Some do stay until last the minute and take advance of that time to save money and get back on their feet.

Don't mean to air my dirty laundry here, but if it helps you to find a way and keep the pups with you, it is certainly worth it! After losing all and now living on the financial edge, one certainly does not have much more to be embarrassed about!

There are ways, and people seem to find them somehow -- there is a way for you, too!


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

Refuse to leave. Period. Stay there, take care of your dogs, and get on with your life. Make whatever payment you can. Talk to the bank and tell them what happened. The last thing most banks want is another distressed property to maintain and pay taxes on.

If you have to, to buy time, go to the media. I sincerely doubt that any bank/realty/debt collector wants to be spotlighted throwing a woman and her three dogs out of her house when she's done nothing wrong and if shames your husband into growing up, that's just fine.


----------



## tine434

Here foreclosures don't take that long. I know a friend in Florida waited YEARS. A house down from us was foreclosed and sold within a year, insane. If I did stay here and let that happen, Kevin would lose his job and future career. I would lose any chance at a better career in my field also. Both check credit

I had considered that initially, but knowing what it would permanently do to us both, I don't know if I could, not when he's willing to pay it


----------



## tine434

To the media? Haha.... I haven't even told our friends or anyone what he's done. Against others suggestions, I've kept it quiet. I guess it's just my way.

I wonder tho if I did call the bank if they have any hard time help or something, highly doubt it with only being here 1 year. Plus he'd want his name off the house... refinance, I'd never make enough, or sell. It is all so stupidly complicated! Ugh.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Ultimately, you have to follow your heart in this: it sounds as if you are not a vindictive person and will take the peaceable way -- that is a rare trait these days.
Good for you! You are doing the absolute most difficult thing for someone to do after they've been hurt so badly by another.

Whichever way you decide to go, I do hope that there can be some help from either this forum or others to foster your pups until you get settled. Although I am not too far from you, I feel helpless to be able to help you with them because of my own circumstances at this time; but I am praying there will be someone in this circle who can help you with them.


----------



## tine434

Well, I'm going to have a talk with Kev, about the puppies specifically.... I can't make him keep them if he really wants them gone once he moves in, but I can maybe convince him to let me know first and have a back up option. Dec 28th, if that day comes and it's all final, will be a very hard day for me to walk out on them....


----------



## tine434

I may just stop using the forum app now.... =| this was today's advertisement.


----------



## golfgal

I'm in Canada and I get that ad all the time. I can't speak to Georgia but you've been together 6 years. Most places its anywhere from 9mths - 2years to be considered common-law spouses and the idea is to equalize both of you income wise and asset wise. I'm sure your lawyer is taking that into account or should be. I know you're trying to be nice, but your concern should not be for Kevin, his credit rating or lifestyle. Your lawyer should be able to get Kevin to suck it up for six months or longer to get you back on your feet and working. 

I thought there were lots of rescue orgs around your area. Surely someone would be willing to foster one or two of your dogs for six months. May is not that long away. I'm too far away to be much use. I can send you my Tae Kwon Do gear as beating the crap out of something is therapeutic or some wine. Sending you hugs.


----------



## tine434

I feel like if I keep answering I'm only repeating myself... I feel like I've said it all different ways but just over and over. I mean, I know people find it confusing, I do too. But this is how it is. 3 lawyers have encouraged me to get Kevin to willfully agree to what he will. We have no assets besides debt.

But trust me, I'm trying to look out for myself also. I said my credit and future career would be ruined also. No I am not a vindictive person, no I will not stoop to that just to prove a point. That's just it....

Oh, I did reach out to the rescue. They can take my dogs, that's about it. Permanently. 

I gave Kevin an earful on the phone yesterday, not angrily but tearfully. About how I'm tired of all this being no big deal to get done when he's busy but then rush to get done when he wants (like him randomly being at the house) all this came from him randomly texting me an hour before he wanted to meet at the phone company. Told him this is going to have to be on my time as well, what works for me from here on out. Which next week I will be gone for 3 days for work, so he will be at the house for the puppies.


----------



## shepherdpal

tine434 said:


> Which next week I will be gone for 3 days for work, so he will be at the house for the puppies.


 Can you trust him with the puppies? He wouldn't turn them into rescue or worse would he? Sorry if this was wrong to ask, but my mind just went there, because he seems so heartless towards you.

I hope someone on the forum or a friend can help with the dogs. Praying for you.


----------



## lhowemt

Tine- hang in there sweetie. You will get through this. It may seem insurmountable now but just know that you will. Life is full of big downs, but there are ups also and please know that you will have those too. Try your best to take care of yourself and do something to "wag your own tail". Big hug.


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



lhowemt said:


> Tine- hang in there sweetie. You will get through this. It may seem insurmountable now but just know that you will. Life is full of big downs, but there are ups also and please know that you will have those too. Try your best to take care of yourself and do something to "wag your own tail". Big hug.


Tine: 

My heart goes out to you. I know that God will take care of it all. I would go with the rescue for the puppies. Try to take care of you.


----------



## tine434

shepherdpal said:


> Can you trust him with the puppies? He wouldn't turn them into rescue or worse would he? Sorry if this was wrong to ask, but my mind just went there, because he seems so heartless towards you.
> 
> I hope someone on the forum or a friend can help with the dogs. Praying for you.


Well he can't legally do that within the 3 days he's staying at the house if that's what you mean, Rem is not in his name nor is Roxy.... Legally Red has to go back to the rescue he came from, according to the papers.

Now after I move out in December, that is my fear. That's why I would just be hoping I could trust him.


----------



## golfgal

Hang in there. I'm sure you've thought of this, is a roommate or a renting a room(s) to a student an option? 

Have you asked you bank if they will let you reduce what you pay until you're done school? As long as you cover the interest portion of the mortgage in the short-term many banks will just add the principal owing onto the mortgage. It's a lot easier for them to work with someone who wants to stay in the house versus finding someone to buy and hope they get something. 

Reason I ask is I imagine it will be challenging to find a place to rent that will allow all the animals.


----------



## tine434

Yeah, just as hard to find a roommate in a house with 3 dogs and 1 cat =/ thought of that....


----------



## lhowemt

HEY! Don't prejudge the outcome. All it takes is one (apt, roommate, etc) that works. The answer is certainly NO if you don't try.


----------



## tine434

Oh I've been trying. Gee yall, do you think I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs? Haha. I thought I've said over and over I've tried, asked, looked into, and exhausted options. Trust me. Down to asking the vets who own rental properties! 

I haven't been sitting back idly praying Kevin comes home, I've been proactive. And this is where I am at, still.


----------



## tine434

And I'm still looking asking and searching btw. I haven't stopped....


----------



## sdhgolden

I just read through your thread. My heart goes out to you too. Divorce, possibly loosing your dogs, moving, trying to finish school...any one of the things would be hard on it own. You will pull through even though it may not seem like it right now. I was wondering would it be out of the question to start a thread looking for possible fosters for your pups until you are through with school or until you can take them back? Sorry if you have already tried that. Just wishing I could help.


----------



## lhowemt

tine434 said:


> Oh I've been trying. Gee yall, do you think I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs? Haha. I thought I've said over and over I've tried, asked, looked into, and exhausted options. Trust me. Down to asking the vets who own rental properties!
> 
> I haven't been sitting back idly praying Kevin comes home, I've been proactive. And this is where I am at, still.


No no no, we don't. I think most are trying to lend a motivational message, I know I am. I hope it helps, but I know how sometimes when things are lousy, "hang in there" can be really annoying.... :doh: We all mean it in the nicest, most supportive way, I believe.


----------



## tine434

lhowemt said:


> No no no, we don't. I think most are trying to lend a motivational message, I know I am. I hope it helps, but I know how sometimes when things are lousy, "hang in there" can be really annoying.... :doh: We all mean it in the nicest, most supportive way, I believe.


I just wanna make sure no one thinks I'm just trying to be a negative Nancy sotospeak or that I'm just not trying hard enough is all.

I have been, and continue, to try everything I can think of.

Actually just spoke to a friend who offered to take Roxy if me and Kevin could not come to an agreement (they want to keep her tho lol.... They love her she's bffs with their little dog now).
I spoke to Kevin a little bit ago, he swears he would keep them and love them and I could take one or more (whatever housing allows) when able. Idk tho how trustworthy he is in the long run. I'd like a back up plan in case ya know? Like someone on hold who I know I could reach out to.


----------



## golfgal

I know nothing about transporting a dog across the country safely. If you or someone on this forum can provide some info, I'll take one of the goldens until May or when you have a place for them. Probably easier to find a place with small dog and/or cat. 
Closest US airports to me are Bellingham or Seattle, Cdn ones are Victoria or Vancouver. Thought I'd throw that out there if it would help.


----------



## tine434

I have the perfect man. He loves going for long walks, cuddling over a good movie, he brings me my socks and slippers without me asking, he loves gazing into my eyes for hours, will go with me anywhere, appreciates everything I do for him, and is loyal and protective of me. Happy anniversary Rem, I love you more now than the first time I held you in my arms! ???


----------



## tine434

Roxy using me as a body pillow, and snoring peacefully.


----------



## lhowemt

Aw, so glad you have some blonde and white "medicine" to give you smiles and love!


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

What a handsome man he is, too! Lucky you.

Roxy is a little scruffy doll -- what a cute little girl she is.

How is the Red man faring through all of this? Hope he is doing fine, too.


----------



## tine434

He's had a hot spot for over a week so he's wearing the cone of shame, makes it hard for cuddles or pictures lol the spot is getting better but he's still wanting to lick it


----------



## KKaren

Hope he heals fast, drat those cones


----------



## tine434

Another not so well mentioned family member.


----------



## tine434

He doesn't let a cone get in the way of comfort.


----------



## tine434

So I'm really bothered by something....

Someone please explain why Kevin changed his Facebook cover photo to a picture of Rem? Please explain. I'm confused over it. And kind of upset.....


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I think that Kevin is really confused and conflicted. On the one hand, from what little I really know about him, he seems like a really sweet guy. On the other, he's fallen into a situation in which I'm guessing his hormones did the talking and now the other party is telling him what to do.

None of which excuses his behavior or explains it or makes it any easier for you to deal with. But humans are complicated, flawed, and do stupid things.

Sometimes in life you just get by hour by hour and day by day. You will emerge much stronger from this, as hard as it is.

I wish you strength and faith in yourself.


----------



## Eowyn

I don't know. But I am praying for you and will continue to pray.


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## tine434

Just frustrated, he hasn't really spent any time with them since he left almost 2 months ago, but besides that.... Rem is my dog, period. He even calls him my dog and has said he doesn't want him (cause Rem is the bad one). Anyway.... Maybe I should just get over it.

Is it OK to post progress pics on here? I mean, they are PG, so I'm going for it. So proud of myself. It's been my encouragement as I've been facing these times.

I am leaving for work this week and Kevin will be staying home while I'm gone. It has me stressed out, but at least the babies will be cared for (I hope.....)


----------



## Helo's Mom

Congrats on the weight loss!!! You look great! I'm trying to lose 25 lbs. but it's slow going. My best friend and I both lost a bunch of weight after break ups which we call the "I'm so stressed I can't eat diet". That's about the only positive to come after a break up. 
It does seem odd for Kevin to put Rem's picture as his facebook cover photo instead of Red since he was the one who fell in love with Red. But who can say what's going through his mind. I would try not to read too much into it. I hope all goes well while you are out of town. I'm sure it will. He seems like a good doggie daddy.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Red looks as if he isn't bothered one bit by the cone! Funny, laid back boy! He reminds me so much of my Tosh...

The Facebook posting of Rem most likely means nothing other than he like the picture. With all you are going through, I can't help but think that Kevin is going through a dark confusing time in his life. No, it does not excuse his actions; but his actions are most likely a reflection of deeper struggles. If he was close to his father, that situation alone could send him into an emotional/mental tailspin where he questions God, life in general and himself. We humans are very complicated beings ... and none of us is exactly the same is our inner being. He also needs prayer that he comes through the man he was meant to be.

Still proud of you that you are handling all with strength!


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## tine434

Oh the weight loss began before the breakup....... lol I do eat..


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## tine434

I feel changes in the air! More than just the cold too lol. =)

I'm going to see how Rem does without his crate tonight. Pray for me haha! He's my little hellion for sure. He chews everything normally. But Roxy used to be that way and she outgrew it, so may as well try lol. 

Also, I am letting him in my bed for the FIRST time! >. < lol mainly cause its COLD and the heater only does so much in this house! 

I'll update everyone tomorrow on how it went lol


----------



## Karen519

*Congrats*



tine434 said:


> Just frustrated, he hasn't really spent any time with them since he left almost 2 months ago, but besides that.... Rem is my dog, period. He even calls him my dog and has said he doesn't want him (cause Rem is the bad one). Anyway.... Maybe I should just get over it.
> 
> Is it OK to post progress pics on here? I mean, they are PG, so I'm going for it. So proud of myself. It's been my encouragement as I've been facing these times.
> 
> I am leaving for work this week and Kevin will be staying home while I'm gone. It has me stressed out, but at least the babies will be cared for (I hope.....)


Tine: Congrats on the weight loss-that is hard to do. I wouldn't read too much at all into his putting Rem's pic on Facebook.


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## ZeppGold

Rem may be so happy to cuddle with you that he won't have time to get into trouble. 
Good luck.


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## tine434

Look how big my boy is!!!


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## tine434

Guys and girls....

If I find a place for pets or at least Rem, who's most at risk of being thrown out in this....

What do I do when in school next semester? 16 weeks, 8 of them I go 3 days and 8 I go 2 days. I will be gone 8am or 9am all the way til 11pm or midnight.

Pet sitter is $15 a day or I could maybe get help from others but it would be like dinner and a potty break, that isn't enough for over 12 hours at a time.

How did this NOT cross my mind before now? I guess I'm so used to having Kevin around.


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## ZeppGold

If you move, are you going to be closer to school? Do you have a break? If it is only 2 or 3 days a week, I would look for friends or family that can help you out. Even if it is just dinner and a potty break, Rem will survive. 16 weeks seems like a long time, but it will go by fast. Or could Rem stay at a friend's or relative's house for those couple of days? Still praying.


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## tine434

No in won't be closer. That's why I will not be able to return home from that 8 or 9am til 11pm or 12am.....
No one can keep him at their home, I don't know anyone who can have pets. My mom is near-ish but again that is like maybe 1 hour break he would get out of 15 hours or so being crated... he wouldn't have a yard, so no running exercise it would be walks and things and whenever I could take him to the local park


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## Brave

Deep breath. This is your LAST semester. While not ideal, you can make it work for 16 weeks. If you can afford a dog walker, their services should include an actual walk. You can see about finding someone who is willing to do an extended stay (say about 2 hours) and have them walk all the dogs and maybe play fetch or I to the park and make sure everyone is watered and pottied. It's only 2-3 days a week and ONLY for the next 16 weeks. That is a blip in the span of a year and even less so over the course of their lives. 

There have been occasions that I had to leave Bear home alone for 9-10 hours. If it's 9 am - 11 pm that's approx. 14 hours unattended. If out get a dog walker to do 2 hours of exercise and attention, they dogs are only unattended for 12 hours total and you can break that down to 6 hour stretches by having the sitter come at 3 - 5 pm. 

This can work. It's just a short term bump. 

Does that help you see it in a different light?


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## tine434

Well, I have considered the pet sitter. She lives right around the corner almost..... She can watch him all day for $15 or she can come for about an hour at that price. But that is $30 and $45 the next. 

It's so embarrassing to mention where I am financially right now until I graduate..... Let's just say extra student loans will be paying my gas those months, so while her rate is an amazing deal.... Guess that's why I am panicking lol

If only Kevin would keep him M-W and let me have him Th-Sun (; one can wish lol


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## wjane

I assume your classes are m,w,f and then t,th? If so you will have the days in between home. That really isn't so bad for them - even if they just a get potty break. If they don't get exercise on those days you make up for it on the days you're home. It's a temporary thing - they will survive. Is there any way you can keep your dog out of a crate and gated in a smaller room? It will be May before you know it and all that will be behind you. You can do this!


----------



## lhowemt

tine434 said:


> Well, I have considered the pet sitter. She lives right around the corner almost..... She can watch him all day for $15 or she can come for about an hour at that price. But that is $30 and $45 the next.
> 
> It's so embarrassing to mention where I am financially right now until I graduate..... Let's just say extra student loans will be paying my gas those months, so while her rate is an amazing deal.... Guess that's why I am panicking lol
> 
> If only Kevin would keep him M-W and let me have him Th-Sun (; one can wish lol


Embarrassed? Gosh don't be. I was flat broke during college, had my mom take out extra loans for me during my last year (I paid those back). There was no one to help me pay for it. It will get better, Brave is spot on, look at this as just one semester. 

How about trading with this gal, have you considered talking to her about doing something for a trade, or lower the cost? Even if it is lousy chores, something that will make it worth her while for the short term. Is hers a decent sized business? If so maybe trading baking dog treats for her customers or something, or scooping poop. Remember, it is only for this semester. What else could you do for her, that would make it worth her while to either stop in or take him in. Does she want to go places on the weekend and need a house/pet sitter?

On the other hand, it can be fruitful to find places in your budget that you can cut costs. While it is convenient to drive yourself, are there any carpooling options for school, or transit? Have you re-evaluated your automotive insurance deductible (should never be below $500)? Is your car worth having full/comprehensive coverage on? Where else are your costs going to be and dig into those. Can you put any costs off until you get done with school? I expect these are all things you have been thinking of, but just in case they are off the top of my head. 5 years ago I quit my regular job and we cut our expenses dramatically to live on one income until I got my business going. Groceries, wow if you aren't careful it is easy to spend a LOT, and wish a bit of effort spend a lot less (sales, cook from scratch, no processed food). Plan your meals around the food ads, and don't buy prepared crap, it is unhealthy and $$$$$. Back when I was going to school, sometimes there wasn't much to eat except ramen and mac and cheese. Temporarily simplify. Potatoes are cheap, and so is pork. Frozen vegi's are very economical and nutritious in the winter too. 

Big Hug


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## Chritty

I too was wondering if Rem absolutely has to be in a crate for that time?


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## ZeppGold

Maybe you could do a dog walker one day a week and your Mom could help one day a week. A combination would help keep the cost down. I liked the idea of seeing if you could trade with the dog walker. Do you already have a place you are planning on moving to? Maybe you will have a neighbor who will be able to help.


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## tine434

Did my long reply never show up earlier? =( Ugh......


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## tine434

Does anyone remember Kevin totalling the car a while back? The old car, the paid off one (that I was supposed to get thru this divorce cause I can't afford $410 a month for the new one) We got it fixed back then by paying extra, well.... 

I got a call from him this AM, wrecked the car, again. Totalled, again.


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## Brave

Tell your attorney. If he totaled your car, he should give you his car but he gets to keep the payments. That's BS and speaks to maliciousness and willful destruction. 

Make sure your attorney is fighting FOR you.


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## tine434

Well I mean, the car I'm driving is the one with the big payment he was going to pay it for me til I graduated then take it back and give me the neon (that is now totalled) so I did not have to have the big payment and could get something more affordable. ?


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## Karen519

*Tine*

The girl that babysits for $15 a day-is she trustworthy? If so, I would give serious thought to leaving REM with her when you go out of town, or whenever Kevin was supposed to stay there.


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## Brave

tine434 said:


> Well I mean, the car I'm driving is the one with the big payment he was going to pay it for me til I graduated then take it back and give me the neon (that is now totalled) so I did not have to have the big payment and could get something more affordable. ?



Even so, now when he takes back to car you're using now, you'll be left with NO transportation and that is 100% his fault because he totaled the car. What did he do to it?


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## tine434

Rear ended someone.

No he won't try to take this car (it is in both of our names) I have a crazy feeling he will try to get me to pay this one and get him a new one. Which I can't do.

Idk, we have no ideas right now. None at all of what to do.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni

Let his girlfriend drive him to work. You need this car to finish school, THEN he can have it back once you're employed and back on your feet and have your own car.

Sheesh. He's so lucky you're so nice or that you don't have three older brothers. Or for that matter that I don't live in Georgia.


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## ZeppGold

What you have to remember is that this is his problem to figure out. You had a plan that was agreeable to both of you. He messed up the plan by wrecking a car. It is now his problem to come up with another idea that is agreeable to you. You didn't cause this problem.


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## Brave

ZeppGold said:


> What you have to remember is that this is his problem to figure out. You had a plan that was agreeable to both of you. He messed up the plan by wrecking a car. It is now his problem to come up with another idea that is agreeable to you. You didn't cause this problem.



^^^^ yep!!!!! 

I consider myself a nice and decent person. And all of his transgressions aside, he's turning this whole ordeal into well... An ordeal. Swaying and changing his mind about the agreement you've come to. Tbh, I think at this point you should limit communication between your lawyers. I don't trust him to not stab you in the back while the terms of the divorce are finalized.


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## lhowemt

Brave said:


> ^^^^ yep!!!!!
> 
> I consider myself a nice and decent person. And all of his transgressions aside, he's turning this whole ordeal into well... An ordeal. Swaying and changing his mind about the agreement you've come to. Tbh, I think at this point you should limit communication between your lawyers. I don't trust him to not stab you in the back while the terms of the divorce are finalized.


Yes yes yes. Just because he messed up doesn't mean your agreement should be impacted.


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## tine434

We haven't actually written up our papers or signed anything yet anyway. It wasn't a "legal" agreement yet. That was supposed to happen later this or next week.

I also want to add, he hasn't tried to change any agreement or screw me over at all. I just said that what I think he will try to do. We haven't spoken since he told me he got in the wreck, he's been at work.


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## Brave

Maybe it's just me, but if I was in Kevin's shoes when I called you to tell you about the wreck, I would make sure I had a plan in my back pocket as to a way to make things work out for you AND I would have scheduled or at least brought up that we need to have a face-to-face meeting to deal with the repercussions of the wreck. 

Obviously I'm just an outsider with no emotional investment or attachment to the situation. But if my husband sprung that on me in passing because he was rushing off to work, I would be more angry at his callous treatment then at the actual wreck. 

We had a similar situation pop up about 3 years ago. My husband was unable to swerve out of the way of a couch/sofa that had fallen onto the freeway connection overpass. He dinged up the front end badly. He called me, but I was still sleeping and missed the call. When I woke up and listened to the voicemail, he calmly explained there was an accident and he was ok but the car was damaged. He had eventually made it to work, and wanted to make sure we could meet and pow-wow about it when I got off work. It allayed my immediate fears and put a plan in motion to ensure we'd both be on the same page.

Eta: I, on the other hand, backed our brand new car into a tree less than a month after buying it. I asked my husband to swing by my work on his way home so I could come clean and we could discuss. He, of course, saw the car before he saw me. Luckily he was more worried about me than the car. But I could have handled that better.


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## tine434

He did say we needed to discuss it... And he did tell me everyone was OK. As for a plan, he told me he had no idea what to do and was so sorry he did this. But he told me where it was being towed to and all. It's just an hour away from me since he's living out of town right now

Note sticking up for him. I'm so mad. Just saying maybe I left a lot of the details out cause the big picture is so daunting to me!


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## Rkaymay

I've followed your story for a while tine but haven't said anything. My parents divorced last month after 22 years together, and while I've been out of the house for a few years, I still have 8 siblings at home. It's definitely a raw wound.

The reason they got divorced is very complicated, but basically my mom cheated on my dad then kicked him out. However, during their divorce my mom wouldn't tell me anything, but my dad confided in me. At first, he tried to work things out with my mom. He still loves her and he wanted things to work, but she refused. In the last few months, he decided to let his lawyer handle everything. He basically quit talking to my mom and relayed everything through their lawyers. It was for the best - they were both too emotionally invested.

I guess what I'm saying is, trust Kevin about as far as you can throw him. You may still love him and want things to work out, but he may have no hesitation about throwing you to the wolves. Tell your lawyer what you want and what you need - then let him work it out. Don't rely on Kevin for anything or to follow through on anything. Don't trust his lawyer either - he's only working for Kevin and he probably doesn't care about you at all.

That's just my recent experience with divorce. I've never been in an actual divorce, but I was pretty close to my parent's, and it was a giant messy affair.


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## mylissyk

I think you have to get things in writing at this point, so there is no question what he has to do. If you had things in writing about the cars prior to now, there would be no discussion. He would have agreed to providing you that car, and he would still have to provide you a car.

Regardless, a verbal agreement is valid and binding and he is still responsible for providing you a car - without payments. How he does that is his concern not yours.


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## tine434

I really don't know what to say. I'm so exhausted. 

Let me tell about the apartment.

I found an AMAZING landlord who owns a duplex, reasonably priced, and it has a fenced in yard and he loves dogs! He duck hunts with his 12 year old lab! He is evicting the present tenant and the apartment could be available as soon as December. Seems wonderful. The only downfall is the location means no one is in town to help with Rem at all, except Kevin will be living in the same town since it is near our house (ewwie) lol. But what a blessing right. He only will allow one dog, but I mean.... That's better than any I've found so far. 

Now though, the issue is, while I do thoroughly expect to hold Kevin accountable to provide a solution... I do worry about signing a lease and then something horrible going wrong and having a car payment after this divorce and not being able to afford the apartment. Like that, "what if" situation. Technically Kevin has to pay this car I am driving cause if he doesn't it will get repossessed cause I cannot pay it and he would then lose his job. So I guess that's the only plus for now lol.


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## Brave

Don't sign a lease until you have written documentation as to who is getting what and how the finances and bills will be divided. As it stands your in the house, technically rent free since Kevin is paying for it(?). Don't rush into a lease with so many balls in the air. It's a disaster waiting I happen, especially since I don't trust Kevin to look out for your best interests. 

Remember that until a divorce is finalized and an equitable division of assists completed, you have every right to stay in that house.


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## mylissyk

I agree with Brave. Don't do anything about moving out of the house, not until you have an agreement in writing for the separation and or divorce.


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## tine434

Exactly. That's the point... We were signing everything this week until this car thing happened, so finding this place was like perfect almost. Now I have no idea what the heck...

But I do know if this apartment does get rented out, I'll be back to square one and definitely not able to move out anytime soon. And therefore much less eager to get this divorce done with, cause I won't want to leave the house lol.

It definitely threw a big what if into the mix. =( what a day


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## Brave

If the plan was to put everything in writing this weekend, move forward with that. Express interest with the apartment but don't signed a lease until after your divorce proceedings are in writing. I'm sure the landlord can wait a few days. The weekend is only 3 days away.


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## tine434

Brave said:


> If the plan was to put everything in writing this weekend, move forward with that. Express interest with the apartment but don't signed a lease until after your divorce proceedings are in writing. I'm sure the landlord can wait a few days. The weekend is only 3 days away.


Now we have to figure out what to put in writing without the neon in the mix. I have to meet with my lawyer again for sure.


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## lhowemt

I would have a talk with the landlord and tell him your situation. If he can't wait, maybe you could give him a small nonrefundable deposit to hold it for a week?


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## Brave

tine434 said:


> Now we have to figure out what to put in writing without the neon in the mix. I have to meet with my lawyer again for sure.



Personally, I would have them write the neon into it, and if the insurance companies come forth and deem the neon is totaled and unsalvageable, then Kevin needs to replace it with a car of similar specs (age, mileage, condition, etc).


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## golfgal

So the $64,000 question. I read, landlord will allow one dog in a earlier post. Have you made decisions about what you're doing with the pets? Seems like a lot is up in the air, car, pets, finances, etc. 

Are you sure you want to rely on your soon to be ex-husband considering he's being so flaky already? I'm sure you're thinking about that already. I just know how it's been with friends and kids and exes, so I would imagine, pets may not rate the same importance with Kevin. 

As Jen suggested, get it all in writing before making any decisions.


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## tine434

We will know what insurance says by tomorrow.

I can write that all day, but he won't sign it so it wouldn't be worth anything... That's why even my own lawyer suggested I try to get Kevin to agree as much as possible, fully, to everything before we wrote it up. That's because Kevin has continued to pay the bills and going into a full blown contested battle like people suggest would make him stop doing so. Therefore, if we could reach an agreement that pleased us both it was best (and most recently we had until this)

As far as the apartment, the tenant that is in it now won't be out til Dec 1st, so that gives some time. Will that little time be enough for me and Kev to figure this out? I have no idea

P.S. I will tell everyone what ends up coming out of this....


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## golfgal

Hard to say. Some people can agree. Get lawyer to draft it and it's all good. Others can fight about stuff that doesn't seem important and go back and forth for ages while legal costs increase and finances decline.

You could always trying writing Kevin a letter/email saying this is what my understanding is of what we've agreed to verbally. Use all those non-confrontational words. I feel, I think, etc. You're just trying to get it down to make it easier for lawyer to draft agreement to keep legal costs down, rather than paying lawyer to discuss things, etc. May not hurt, however only you know.


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## Karen519

*Tine*

Tine

Sent you a private message yesterday. Did you get it?


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## tine434

Karen519 said:


> Tine
> 
> Sent you a private message yesterday. Did you get it?


Sorry, bad about responding to those lately.


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## tine434

Did I post this the other day? Lol. I love him and his antics!!

Btw, Kevin and me spoke briefly, I'm working today I'm very busy. He suggested if the car cannot be fixed by my brother (as last time) then we will go find an affordable car that he will pay on and then it will be mine after May instead of the Ford. So he would take the expensive one still. Anyway, just his suggestion. No details worked out. Kind of odd to be buying a car together when you're divorcing? That made me laugh. He said it could just be in my name, but then I'd have nothing to insure he'd want to pay it so uhm, yeah no. I will hear more from insurance at some point today and when I'm not working and in class think more on this situation also.


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## tine434

The car........


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## Belle's Mom

WOW! That looks bad. I hate to say it, but the idea of buying another affordable one seems like it may be best.....just concerned about the reliability of a car that has been totaled twice. Wonder what the car he hit looks like....


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## tine434

It was a GMC Terrain. It's fine. Lol!


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## Eowyn

Oh you poor girl. I'm praying for you. God will work this for good. I have absolutely no clue how, but God will work this for good. 

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28


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## tine434

I just submitted my huge paper that is a pass or fail my class assignment, whew... Now I have 2 tests and this semester is OVER! =D
Next semester begins in January and I will have SIX CLASSES! =O but when May gets here I will officially be done.

I can't wait, during this break from school I really am crossing fingers that I can take the pups to the nice dog park with the lake =) the boys won't think it's too cold lol


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## Belle's Mom

Sounds like a fun park.

So glad to hear your degree is so close you can almost taste it!!


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## tine434

This is what "red ball" time looks like. I sent only the pic of Rem at the door to Kevin and he immediately guessed "Red ball" (that's our utility closet, the toys and all are kept there as well as other things)


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## Eowyn

How cute! I love how he just patiently waits at the door. Rem is so gorgeous!


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## tine434

Yes he KNOWS his red ball is in there. Red loves fetch but Rem just can't get enough of the red ball. I wish I could of videod him jumped like a rabbit trying to catch it lol


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## tine434

The babies are going to love their new toy! It has rear AC lol


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## Karen519

*Rem and Red*

Rem and Red are so cute. Love the pictures.

Nice car-hope the payments are low. That's the main thing.


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## tine434

No payments at all =)


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## Kally76

You'll love it. You can't go wrong with a GMC. Mine has 280,000 miles on it and is still going strong. lol.


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## tine434

Kally76 said:


> You'll love it. You can't go wrong with a GMC. Mine has 280,000 miles on it and is still going strong. lol.


Good! This one is close to that lol but it drives like a brand new vehicle!! I can't even post publicly what I paid lol you'd die


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## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Good! This one is close to that lol but it drives like a brand new vehicle!! I can't even post publicly what I paid lol you'd die


Now you have to tell!


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## tine434

I am driving lol so I cannot PM you but if you PM me later when I get home I will message you and let you know. It was like a gift from God lol


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## Tosh's Legacy

So happy to see that Someone is taking care of you! Enjoy your new ride -- perfect for 3 babies!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your furry kids!


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## tine434

Happy Thanksgiving! Everyone here is full and sleepy! (;


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## Tosh's Legacy

Rem! How cute! Guess he doesn't realize he has grown up!


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## tine434

Yesterday I turned 25 =)Really wasn't a special day.

I feel so horrible, this past week I've barely been home with the babies. I feel like they've been put up more than they've been out to play because I haven't been home... So today before I leave I planned a good game of fetch and then bath time for them lol.

Hope everyone else enjoys their Saturday =D


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## tine434

Post bath fetch game!


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## CAROLINA MOM

Happy Birthday to you!

Your new truck is awesome, I know you and the pups will really enjoy it. 

Try to remember it's what you do with the time you have with your pups that matters, not the amount.


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## tine434

I didn't know how to say this.... But I'll try.

Roxy has been miserable. I haven't had any help with the pups so some days they're put up for 10 hours while I work after 8 hours of sleep. It has been really unfair, and I try my best but some days I can't help it. It's just me, I don't have help. The boys have been OK actually, but Roxy has just been miserable... She's been crying and begging and then when I'm home she can't get attention or chase a ball cause the boys over take her. 

Today I took her to my friends house. For a couple weeks. Honestly it is a trial run, if she's happier there she may stay there. I cried all day. I cried driving her there and cried leaving. I couldn't return home without her so I went to my brothers house and then finally when I came home tonight I cried more. 
The friend has a jack Russell and he's sent pics of them playing and sleeping and she's having a blast... But I hurt so bad. I cried so hard tonight I literally thought I'd go into some kind of attack or something.

I took her to his house in my new truck. She loved how high she sat and she could see so much more than out of the car window. I tried to get a picture, she was so cute, but I couldn't handle to do it.

I mean, on a positive note with him I can always see her, whenever I want. If she stayed with Kevin, I couldn't. Assuming he'd keep her which... So much has happened Lord knows if he would have just dumped her with someone later anyway. 

Anyway, I'm heart broken and just dying inside and even though I know she's just a few minutes away and it's just a "trial" run type thing to see if she's happier... It sucks. It all sucks. I want my family back so bad. I want my life back


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## golfgal

That's a really hard thing to do. I don't think anyone can say anything to make you feel better right now. All you can do is trust you're making the best decisions with the information you have at hand now. Just get through tonight. Happy belated birthday BTW.


----------



## tine434

I've received these pics of her... One she was waiting for a squirrel to make a move and the other passed out with the jack Russell. Kallie, the other dog, and Roxy have been best friends since Roxy was a puppy. I have pics of them, Roxy was 6 months old.... Me and my friend have been friends for 10 years.... ? It's still so rough on me. I just want Roxy happy.... I want a good life that she deserves. The boys are fine, they're OK with loving when I'm home. A good fetch game in the evening and they wanna sleep all day anyway even when I'm not working, so they don't care when I'm gone. But she had literally got to where she'd cry when I was leaving cause she knew I wouldn't be back for a long time. She'd cry if she seen me grab shoes. It's just a "trial run" type mini trip, unless she's really really happy there..... Happier than at home.... Idk, I keep repeating that in my head and repeating the fact that this is one of my best friends, who I see frequently, so this isn't just her going to a new home or something it's really like a family member.... I just miss her already. I miss the thoughts of her. It makes me angry at Kevin. It's a lot to process. I think I'm going to head to bed actually, just sleep on it.

Also attached is a pic of Rem, he's been glued to me. He can tell I'm upset. Red doesn't have that intuition, but Rem definitely knows when someone needs him.


----------



## jennretz

I love that picture of Rem. I know everybody handles things in their own way and needs to go through their emotions, but hang in there. IMHO, don't get too far ahead of yourself. You're doing the right thing for Roxy right now given your current schedule. When you graduate your schedule will change again and it may work to have Roxy with you again. Dogs can be very adaptable. Take all the time you need to cry, but if it helps realize that while the next 6 months may seem like an eternity, somehow you just get through it one day at a time.


----------



## pb2b

I am so so sorry. You are doing what's best for Roxy although I know that doesn't make it any easier.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Your emotions must be just shredded by now -- so much to go through in a few months' time.

It is so poignant that Rem is so sensitive to your emotions -- you are very special to him, as he is to you. Having a dog that has that sensitivity is such a gift when you are going through hard times. My angels, Penny and Big Boy, carried me through some very tough times years ago, and I have never forgotten how much that meant to me
at the time. Wrigley is our "sensitive" dog now ...

Although it is heartbreaking to you now, what you are doing for Roxy is out of pure love for her. Cry all you need to. I certainly would be! Through all your pain, you are thinking of her welfare and happiness --that is difficult for many people to do.

Love the pictures of all three -- keep up the good work! Jennretz's comments are so good: things could change in six months time. That time will fly by!


----------



## tine434

Thank you all for the support... I was afraid I would receive back lash. Roxy is doing great today, I've been receiving updates, she is happy to be out more and with family more. I won't go visit until this weekend just to let her settle some but I'm excited to visit cause I'm taking her tennis ball to her when I go =) she hasn't been able to play with it for a long time cause the boys.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I just want to say that I admire you very much. You're making such difficult and mature decisions at a time when you have every right to want to crawl under the bed and stay there.

Courage under fire, that's you. A new and infinitely better life is out there and you're headed toward it, one step at a time. 

You go, superstar.


----------



## hubbub

I'm having a hard time formulating much of anything here, but wanted to say that putting Roxy's needs above your wants at this point is an incredibly mature thing to do and a testament to your love for her. 

You will be ok


----------



## Belle's Mom

I second what hubbub said - well stated.

Hugs


----------



## tine434

Rem holding Red hostage in the bathroom by threatening to get his ankles lol


----------



## Belle's Mom

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing....


----------



## tine434

Well I told Kevin to no longer communicate with me at all. That made life much more enjoyable actually.... I began to work on healing and happiness. 

He did text me to ask to go by the house and see the pups today, and he came by. I was gone. 

Roxy is back home, and I'm just having to work it out the best I can ya know... 

I go back spring semester Jan 7th and graduate May 9th.


----------



## Belle's Mom

Thanks for the update! I have been thinking about you and praying everything was settling down for you - as much as it can at this point.

So glad you are taking care of yourself and healing.

Glad you are not taking a break from your pursuing your degree - hard to go back once you take a break. This next 4 months is going to fly by....time does fly. The pups know you are doing the best you can and they will be fine.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

As I was going through some old photos yesterday, I came across this one of you and Beau. If you are having any doubts about yourself and who you are throughout this terrible time in your life, take a good look at this and be reminded that the young woman in this picture is very special, and has a very tender heart. You have many years ahead of you to enjoy and discover so much about yourself ... you are the winner in this situation!


----------



## tine434

God, I miss that beautiful boy


----------



## tine434

So, I'm probably going to blow everyone's mind.... Update on my weight loss:


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> So, I'm probably going to blow everyone's mind.... Update on my weight loss:


Wow! You are looking good girl!


----------



## Chritty

Woot woo!!


----------



## hubbub

Congratulations! I know you're proud of yourself and the many things you've come to take charge - and we are too


----------



## mylissyk

Holy cow girl! You are amazing!


----------



## tine434

Kevin just agreed to pay the house until May and let me stay here.


----------



## Brave

tine434 said:


> Kevin just agreed to pay the house until May and let me stay here.



Great news!!!!!!! Now you can focus on that last semester. I am so proud of you!!!


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Kevin just agreed to pay the house until May and let me stay here.


Oh I am overjoyed to hear this!


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*

Tine

You look beautiful!!


----------



## ZeppGold

Wonderful news. Just take each day at a time and trust God for your future. Still praying for you.


----------



## lhowemt

Yeeeehawwww! Congrats and Merry Christmas!!!


----------



## SheetsSM

awesome news about the housing situation--please tell me he put it it writing


----------



## tine434

Wow.....

I have nothing I can say to this but wow


----------



## ZeppGold

Great job! Congratulations. You deserve it.


----------



## pb2b

Congrats! That's great.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

If anyone ever asks you if you work well under pressure, these grades are proof of it!
Well done!!!!


----------



## jennretz

That is amazing given the load of stress you have been under. You should be very proud of yourself! What a good job.


----------



## Eowyn

So proud of you!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Great job, Congratulations to you!
You should be very proud of yourself.


----------



## tine434

Thank you. I'm beyond grateful for the support I have received that made it possible. That's the biggest thing I can express is gratitude, not being proud so much.

This is the first Christmas without Kevin in 4 years, I'm going to try to make it a great one Hope you and all of your fur babies enjoy!


----------



## Karen519

*Merry Christmas*



tine434 said:


> Thank you. I'm beyond grateful for the support I have received that made it possible. That's the biggest thing I can express is gratitude, not being proud so much.
> 
> This is the first Christmas without Kevin in 4 years, I'm going to try to make it a great one Hope you and all of your fur babies enjoy!


Merry Christmas to you and your fur babies!


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Wishing you and your furry family the best Christmas ever!


----------



## tine434

Rem unrolled the whole bathroom toilet paper roll and then drug the loooooonnnnggggg trail of toilet paper from the bathroom to the kitchen where I was cooking. My bad boy! Lol


----------



## hubbub

Someone's trying to decorate!!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Merry Christmas to you, your family and the pups.
Hope you all have a wonderful day.


----------



## Karen519

*Merry Christmas*

Merry Christmas to you and your sweet babies!!:wavey:


----------



## jennretz

Just dropping by to say Merry Christmas and to enjoy your time with your fur babies!


----------



## Belle's Mom

Thinking of you as 2014 prepares to end and we prepare to welcome 2015 and pray for a great new year for you and the "R"'s!


----------



## tine434

I do too!!

Red and Rem have gotten into 2 fights within the past week. Each time it was behind my back idk what happened but me yelling didn't stop them. No one seemed injured but they were definitely angry. Afterward Red acted like nothing happened, Rem though would follow him and try to pick his mouth and initiate additional play fighting. Odd....


----------



## tine434

Things have been going well...
I start classes on Wednesday, Thursday I go to meet with the lawyer and sign the papers... I've been sick but that's OK it's getting better lol basic head cold.

Some things are bothering me though. It's crazy how the house, car, our bed doesn't bother me but.... I ate at the table for the first time since Kevin left, it was hard. I picked up my Kindle paperwhite to use it and almost cried, let's not talk about using the oven.... It's really odd I guess I have been avoiding certain things without consciously realizing it, but it's little things like that which have been haunting me. I've spent a lot of time away from home until this cold got me down a couple days ago. I guess now being home more has forced me to confront these things...


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I Know it's a cliche, but the only way to get over is to get through.

Sending you a hug. Better things await you.


----------



## tine434

Someone enjoyed joining me at the office this week.


----------



## tine434

He also enjoyed the huge blocks of ice found in the yard after our freeze.


----------



## lhowemt

Happy boy! I hope you are hanging in there.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Noreaster said:


> I Know it's a cliche, but the only way to get over is to get through.
> 
> Sending you a hug. Better things await you.


I agree with what Noreaster has said. 

Take things one day at time, I have found if you do this, whatever you are facing is not as difficult and overwhelming. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for your accomplishments regardless of how small you might think they are. They all add up and make a difference. 

You've got so much life ahead of you, you'll be graduating in a few months, starting a new career, starting a new chapter in your life The day will come when you will meet the person who deserves you. Until that day comes, keep your head high and keep taking one step before the other. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, but you are going to be a stronger and better person because of it.


----------



## hubbub

Ditto all the above!


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



tine434 said:


> Someone enjoyed joining me at the office this week.


Tine: You look absolutely beautiful. I agree with all of the other WISE people here, that have said,"the only way to get over it is going through it," and "One Day at a Time, makes everything easier to handle."


----------



## tine434

So embarrassed cause momma is cramping his style...


----------



## tine434

Sooo.... Now that everything is signed and filed and done...

Can I show you all a pic of the woman? >. < That is horrible you guys (and girls) haha but I really want to!


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I don't know what the rules about posting that, but I have to say you've been a lot more gracious about all that than most people would have managed to be. Good for you!

Personally, I know without seeing it that the ex made a bad decision and I believe he will regret it at some point. Regardless, you look wonderful and are getting on with it. 

Onward!


----------



## Brave

I wouldn't post it on a public forum. Just as a personal thing.


----------



## tine434

I'd never. It was said more of a joke than seriously.

Surely everyone would know since I haven't been that way thus far haha


----------



## golfgal

I know it was a joke. Don't get suckered into thinking it's about how she looked. We all know sometimes the most 'beautiful' on the outside is not a reflection of who they are and vice versa. Just keep moving one step forward towards moving on. Find some good songs with dance beats to get you into that frame of mind.


----------



## jennretz

Tine - you are an impressive woman who has shown tremendous strength and grace during a very difficult time. Keep on keeping on


----------



## tine434

Baby girl was so sick this morning.... Woke up and she had a horrible episode of diarrhea during the night, all in her bed  this morning she was not wanting to eat or interact much. Since then she's drank, ate a little, and been on couch rest. Poor thing. She seems to be recovering. Not sure what got her so sick but I felt so bad! Red had pulled and pushed at her crate trying to let her out. I didn't hear a THING tho!  everything is cleaned and she's being spoiled rotten as usual. Her daddy was very concerned when I told him about her getting sick and periodically texted to check on her, which was nice to see him care since she's going to be left here with him when I move.


----------



## ZeppGold

Hopefully she is better soon and it was just something she ate.


----------



## Belle's Mom

Good to hear from you. Sorry Roxy is sick.

I thought you were staying in the house until the end of the semester and then you and all the "R"s were moving. 

Are you moving sooner and having to leave all the pups and kitty?


----------



## tine434

No I'm staying in the house but he wants to keep Roxy & Red. He's honestly shown a lot of maturity recently. He visits them usually weekly, buys their food, etc etc. I mean, things have settled down a lot. I'll take Rem and Rascal at the end of the semester.

Roxy has thrown up now =/ she's drinking a good bit, but we are going to take her to the vet if there isn't improvement soon.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Sorry to hear Roxy is sick, hope she's feeling better soon and it's nothing serious.


----------



## tine434

Roxy is very very sick. It's late and the vet has been working on her. I'll update tomorrow... Please be in prayer for my sweet baby girl


----------



## Belle's Mom

Oh my goodness - poor baby. Praying for her now.


----------



## lhowemt

I hope she comes through this ok


----------



## jennretz

Prayers for Roxy...


----------



## ZeppGold

Praying for Roxy.... Hope everything is ok.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

Sending you hopeful thoughts and a hug...


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I'm so sorry to hear Roxy is so sick. 
My thoughts are with you, prayers Roxy is feeling better soon.


----------



## golfgal

Thinking of you guys. Hope it's not too serious.


----------



## tine434

What a day.... or couple of days... Wow.
Tons of shots and tests later, she's doing ok. She's eating only a small amount, 1tbs an hour for now. But she's home and seems to be mending. Not wanting to move but that's ok, baby is resting up.

He said pancreatis, she went almost 4 days without keeping food down. Ugh, I was worried sick. I'm one sleepy momma now that she's eating and resting! Thanks for the prayers. No idea what caused her to get so sick. No idea at all


----------



## Belle's Mom

Thanks for the update - so glad is doing better


----------



## jennretz

I hear pancreatitis is really rough for pups. Hope Roxy starts to feel better soon.


----------



## tine434

jennretz said:


> I hear pancreatitis is really rough for pups. Hope Roxy starts to feel better soon.


Yes, the vet made it seem pretty severe and he explained it put her in a lot of pain


----------



## tine434

She stopped eating around dinner time yesterday and hasn't shown interest again. I really don't know what to do. She's back acting like she's in pain also... She seemed so good initially yesterday, like she was improving. Today I have work and class, and I'm just at a loss with this girl. Her last vet bill was hundreds of dollars and sadly it seems I'm doing it on my own. I don't see what has happened to make her so sick, but it's making me stress out something fierce.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I'm so sorry to hear she's had a setback. 
Hope she will be feeling better very soon.


----------



## Eowyn

I am so sorry to hear that Roxy is so sick! Prayers for a quick and easy recovery!


----------



## Belle's Mom

Checking in for a Roxy update.....pray she is on the mend.....


----------



## tine434

Oh my! This morning I was set to take her back to the vet, no idea how I'd pay but I was going... Then I coaxed her to drink water by repeatedly wetting her nose with my finger (this was all done on my bed as she wasn't even lifting her head). Then about an hour later she took a bite of food and I forced down her medicine. Well, after about half a day of every hour doing the coaxing, she got up! Tonight after I came home from school (kevin was with her while I was gone) she met me at the door!! I collapsed in tears to see her UP! She ate another few bites so let's cross fingers and just hope it continues!


----------



## ZeppGold

Praying for Roxy...


----------



## tine434

This morning she's back to not eating/feeling in pain (i can tell when she hurts, poor thing...) it seems mornings have been bad on her.... Ugh. What a roller coaster, I'm hoping by lunch time she will be eating some again


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Come on little Roxy girl, feel better soon.
Prayers for your sweet girl.


----------



## tine434

Still no luck eating....


----------



## ZeppGold

Come on, Roxy, you have to eat.


----------



## tine434

If she doesn't eat today I'll take her back to the vet in the morning.... She has drank a small amount and by her skin doesn't seem dehydrated. I'm so scared..

Her 3rd birthday is Easter. She's so young


----------



## jennretz

Checking in to see how Roxie is?


----------



## tine434

She's took a bite or two bites here and there, she's drinking regularly with coaxing... I stopped her antibiotic yesterday cause there was a correlation between her taking that and avoiding food and drink. Today her tummy isn't hurting this morning.

Is it possible the antibiotic was making it worse? 

She keeps licking her lips on occasion and after eating almost looks like.... idk, with the lip licking and then what she does it reminds me of acid reflux or something


----------



## Karen519

*Tine*



tine434 said:


> She's took a bite or two bites here and there, she's drinking regularly with coaxing... I stopped her antibiotic yesterday cause there was a correlation between her taking that and avoiding food and drink. Today her tummy isn't hurting this morning.
> 
> Is it possible the antibiotic was making it worse?
> 
> She keeps licking her lips on occasion and after eating almost looks like.... idk, with the lip licking and then what she does it reminds me of acid reflux or something


Tine: Praying for sweet Roxy. I would ask the vet about the antibiotic.


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> She's took a bite or two bites here and there, she's drinking regularly with coaxing... I stopped her antibiotic yesterday cause there was a correlation between her taking that and avoiding food and drink. Today her tummy isn't hurting this morning.
> 
> Is it possible the antibiotic was making it worse?
> 
> She keeps licking her lips on occasion and after eating almost looks like.... idk, with the lip licking and then what she does it reminds me of acid reflux or something



I'm no expert but it sure sounds like it might be upsetting her stomach. I would defn call your vet to see if there is a different antibiotic she could take.


----------



## hubbub

The drs suggested I test for hydration by pulling the skin by the bone just to the outside of her eye or the top of a front leg when laying down - that skin shouldn't be too loose and would give you a better indicator than pulling on her back. Pancreatitis usually involves withholding everything (food and water) for 24 hours to give the pancreas a rest. With Hannah, we didn't do that because she was pretty weak as it was. However, I did supplement with SQ fluids (just under the skin of her back) to help with hydration. The licking of lips usually indicates nausea, so an acid reliever might be in order. Also, something like sucralfate (which is dissolved in water and then given to coat the gut approximately 1 hour before or 2 hours after eating) might help too. 

I know how frightening this is, stay in contact with your vet and stay ahead of it as best you can. <hugs>


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I'm so sorry you're going through this...sending a hug to both of you.

Excellent advice above...


----------



## tine434

I've been checking hydration... She is still ok right now. When he did the sub q fluids that must be why she wasn't allowed food or water for so long.
She has a one a day pill to help with nausea.
The vet seemed to think if she's drinking and occasionally taking a bit of food that's about all we can do for now. And if she is not in pain. I did leave a message to ask about the antibiotic...
How long will this last?


----------



## hubbub

Recovering from pancreatitis can take a long time. Every time she eats or drinks, her pancreas starts working, but because it overworked in the past and caused the severe inflammation, every time she eats or drinks, it hurts. Also, every time the pancreas starts working, those inflamed areas are irritated again. So, her mind tells her that since it hurts, don't do it. 

Also, my girl never seemed to have visible abdominal pain, but based on the inflammation in her gut, she was incredibly stoic. After the initial diagnosis (via SNAP cPL), the drs conducted a further test (Spec cPL) to see the severity of her pancreatitis - it had to be mailed to a lab in Texas, but the results were back by the next day. 

I would keep a log of how much she's eating and drinking and when. That way when you look back you can have a concrete reference to what she's consumed and not rely on your memory (no matter how good your memory, when under stress...it can become iffy - at least mine can). Hopefully, you'll see her turning a corner very soon. Keep offering her low fat foods which will help the pancreas work a bit less.


----------



## jennretz

I haven't had any experience with this. Hopefully somebody who has will have some insight.

There's a gentleman on my walking path who has a 4 yo golden and he had pancreatitis this summer. It took a few weeks for his dog to get better and he was pretty worried for awhile until he turned a corner.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

In the vet clinic where I worked we had a dalmation come in who had eaten an entire pound of raw bacon and he had severe pancreatitis. The treatment was no food at all and IV fluids to keep him hydrated and to just let him rest. The theory is that it gave his body time to recover. He recovered beautifully.

Obviously it's a little different since Roxy is smaller, but a bite or two as long as she's staying hydrated sounds consistent with what's recommended for this.


----------



## tine434

I haven't wanted to update because it's been a roller coaster... Yesterday she drank but refused food for a full 24 hours. I was set to take her to the vet this morning until about 10pm last night she ate a full tbl spoon and wanted more then this morning she was hungry again. She ate about 1.5 this morning. I would have been more alarmed bit yesterday her hydration was still ok and she acted in good health other than avoiding food. She growled and talked to us like she does, she jumped on me with her front paws, typical Roxy behavior. Let's pray she keeps this up!


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I'm so glad to hear that she's acting more like herself.

I see that I completely failed to mention above that the pancreatitis dog had the no food treatment for three whole days...he was in the hospital on fluids but we gave him nothing by mouth. 

I think my brain is frozen. Stupid winter.

Sending you both another hug.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Really great to hear Roxy is doing better.


----------



## tine434

And today she vomited this morning... Green like maybe she got into some grass. =(


----------



## jennretz

Poor Roxy! Give her a big hug from duke, charlie and me. Hopefully you'll see improvement over the next few days.


----------



## tine434

I wish I had great news but I don't... Since the last update she didn't eat or when she did she'd vomit.... Until yesterday mom gave her some plain chicken which she ate eagerly and kept down. I tried to give her some with the vet food she vomited. So I removed the vet food today from her diet just doing plain unseasoned grilled chicken breast. She ate about 1 tsp this morning at 8am and 2tsp at 930am and so far I came home and didn't see throw up so I gave her a little more. Prayers and fingers crossed.


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> I wish I had great news but I don't... Since the last update she didn't eat or when she did she'd vomit.... Until yesterday mom gave her some plain chicken which she ate eagerly and kept down. I tried to give her some with the vet food she vomited. So I removed the vet food today from her diet just doing plain unseasoned grilled chicken breast. She ate about 1 tsp this morning at 8am and 2tsp at 930am and so far I came home and didn't see throw up so I gave her a little more. Prayers and fingers crossed.





Poor Roxie and you! Prayers that she starts being able to keep bits of food down.


----------



## ZeppGold

Praying she starts to feel better,


----------



## tine434

Thank God! She has kept down the chicken all day! That's 4 small meals. Tomorrow I'll increase just a little


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> Thank God! She has kept down the chicken all day! That's 4 small meals. Tomorrow I'll increase just a little



Fingers crossed Tine! You need a break.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Poor Roxy, I feel for you both. 
She's really had a rough time of it. 
I hope she continues to improve. 

Thinking of you both.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

Oh, I'm so glad. C'mon Roxy, help your mama out a little here...


----------



## tine434

So far so good... I'd say she's kept down about 1/4 cup so far within 3 feeding this morning.
So if this goes well today, what should I add in or do tomorrow? Should I bring in a little of her food, sweet potato? I don't know... She doesn't do well on dog food made with brown rice I know so I wouldn't try that


----------



## hubbub

I would just increase what's working for now - it sounds like her pancreas is handling it. If she stays steady another few days, then add in something else bland, maybe some boiled potato, then watch how she does for a few days before trying something else. Fingers crossed and prayers sent.


----------



## tine434

She stopped eating again but just ate a couple bites... Here she is cuddling with Red lol at least cuddling his bottom >. <


----------



## Eowyn

Praying she gets better!


----------



## tine434

Roxy is having surgery... I will update soon. A blockage was found.


----------



## jennretz

Prayers for Roxy!


----------



## NewfieMom

jennretz said:


> Prayers for Roxy!


I am praying, too. I am so sorry.

Deb


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I'm so sorry, prayers for Roxy.


----------



## tine434

Roxy came thru surgery and is doing good! She should be home tonight if she holds down food! TREE BARK!!! Tree Bark was the blockage


----------



## ZeppGold

That's wonderful news! I hope she has a quick recovery. 
Tree bark! That's scary. My dogs eat wood all the time.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

Oh I'm so glad to hear a good report...she should bounce back fast now that they know what the problem really was. What made them conclude it was pancreatitis? Were her amylase and lipase elevated?


----------



## jennretz

Tree Bark is what cost me quite a bit with Duke. So happy the vet caught this. Hope Roxy starts to feel better soon! So was this obstruction all along and not pancreatitis


----------



## tine434

Ya know, I wasn't there when they found the blockage, Kevin took her... But I wonder if somehow the two (swelling on pancreas, whatever levels were off with her blood, etc) went hand in hand together or one caused issues with the other. I'm not really sure since I wasn't there. Just glad that now she will be ok. I can't WAIT for my baby's personality to come back. And Kevin did come thru finally, and spent a lot on her treatment.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

I'm so glad Kevin is stepping up. It's too much for you to have to deal with all by yourself, financially or emotionally!

Go, Roxy, go...she's a fighter that girl!


----------



## hubbub

Fingers and toes crossed for an uneventful recovery!


----------



## NewfieMom

I am so glad the surgery is over! Congratulations to all of you! My Golden was a wood eater, too. She ate *huge* amounts of it as a puppy. Just enormous. Thank goodness she ate less as she got older. But she never stopped. She just stopped eating entire window sills!

NewfieMom


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

So glad to hear Roxy came through the surgery well. 
Wishing her a speedy recovery, hope she's feeling better very soon.

Lots of TLC for baby girl.


----------



## tine434

Baby girl is home and doing well so far


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> Baby girl is home and doing well so far



So glad she's home. Give her a big hug from duke, charlie and I.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

She looks better already. So glad she's home!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

She does look better already, good to see it.


----------



## tine434

Yes she really is doing great. She's taking it easy but she's back to liking up for meals with the boys and trying to crawl into laps for cuddles. Started her out at 1/4 cup this morning just to take it slow. She's eating slower but it's just great to see her doing well. Sneaky girl, I didn't let her jump on or off anything yesterday I made sure to pick her up... Today I came out of the bathroom she had jumped on my bed. Spoiled thing. Once she's all healed up, I'll get her groomed nicely as she still sorta stinks.

So good to know she will make it to her third birthday =)


----------



## NewfieMom

She is well-nurtured, not spoiled. 

Hugs,
Deb


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Well nurtured or spoiled, Roxy deserves to be.

Wishing her a speedy recovery.


----------



## tine434

Roxy is doing wonderful! Now she's back to trying to eat sticks! :doh: this is one protective momma now though lol I just rarely let her outside (; She's just absolutely a pleasure and you can tell she feels good as new. Now, can't wait to give her a bath though as she still smells like fecal matter. They didn't bathe her prior to surgery obviously....


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Really great to hear she's feeling better. 

You can use a mixture of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar and water, I use Braggs. Put it in a spray bottle, spray it on her before you brush her out. That will help neutralize the odor until you can give her a bath.


----------



## tine434

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Really great to hear she's feeling better.
> 
> You can use a mixture of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar and water, I use Braggs. Put it in a spray bottle, spray it on her before you brush her out. That will help neutralize the odor until you can give her a bath.


Thank you for the tip


----------



## lhowemt

Glad she is doing well! Baby wipes are a good temporary bath alternative too.


----------



## jennretz

Those are both great suggestions! Sometimes boys stink after daycare....i'm going to try it

Glad to hear Roxy is doing so much better!


----------



## tine434

The apple cider... I didn't have a spray bottle so I diluted it in the sink, took a cloth and dipped in the water, wrung it fairly dry, then rubbed it over her fur. I avoided tummy all together. Then I brushed her out. Smell is gone and no nasty vinegar smell either. Perfect


----------



## NewfieMom

I am glad the apple cider worked on her!

NewfieMom


----------



## jennretz

How's sweet Roxy doing today?


----------



## Karen519

*Roxy*

So glad Roxy is home!


----------



## tine434

She's so exhausted from all the sleeping lol. She's back to trying to eat everything, and I spend the days chasing her getting things out of her mouth (latest was cotton balls!) She now just gets on furniture as she pleases and since I close my door at night first thing in the morning she's up in my bed lol. Until recently she was jumping up on things (hard to prevent that) but whining for me to help her down. Now she seems fine either way. She no longer uses her crate either... As long as I close the bathroom doors (bathroom trash can) she does great left out.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Aww, she's such a little sweetheart. 
Great to hear she's doing well, sounds like she gotten her spunk back, good for her.


----------



## NewfieMom

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Aww, she's such a little sweetheart.
> Great to hear she's doing well, sounds like she gotten her spunk back, good for her.


I had to quote this. She looks simply adorable in the photos you posted above. She matches the cover she is on-actually, she _coordinates_ with it-perfectly! What a little beauty she is. Did she need the cotton balls for one of her grooming routines? One can find so many uses for them!

Deb


----------



## jennretz

So happy to hear she's on the mend. She's looking good


----------



## tine434

Told Roxy her next grooming we will get her a poodle cut to match the leg shaving


----------



## wjane

She's do darn cute - glad to hear she's feeling better!


----------



## jennretz

I really like your comforter.


----------



## tine434

jennretz said:


> I really like your comforter.


JcPenney lol


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

Roxy always looks to me like she should be on commercials...she's got that star quality.

I'm so, so happy for her and for you.


----------



## tine434

Noreaster said:


> Roxy always looks to me like she should be on commercials...she's got that star quality.
> 
> I'm so, so happy for her and for you.


Oh yeah, she thinks she's a star too (;


----------



## Eowyn

She is cute! Glad to hear she is doing better!


----------



## tine434

Oh let me not forget to update on Rem......


----------



## Belle's Mom

It seems Rem is trying to tell you he wants a new sofa.....


----------



## tine434

Yes! Haha. It does seem that way doesn't it?? Right when he gets me so frustrated, this happens..
I love these boys. So very much. I love them all!

So I will hopefully be providing an update soon on all of us... I graduate in 2.5 months and have had several job offers. None here, I don't plan on staying... But 2-4 hour drives from here.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

tine434 said:


> Yes! Haha. It does seem that way doesn't it?? Right when he gets me so frustrated, this happens..
> I love these boys. So very much. I love them all!
> 
> So I will hopefully be providing an update soon on all of us... I graduate in 2.5 months and have had several job offers. None here, I don't plan on staying... But 2-4 hour drives from here.


Oh my, does look like you'll be shopping for a new sofa. 

Great to hear you're getting job offers, that's fantastic. These next 2.5 months are going to fly by......... my son graduates in May too with his MBA. 


A whole new chapter of your life will soon begin, very exciting!


----------



## jennretz

That 's really great news Tine. To have more than one job offer is wonderful news.


----------



## Belle's Mom

I will say - that sofa is actually fixable - it will look deformed, but a needle and thread and a little time will fix it right up for the time being......I know first hand.

So excited about the job news. 

I recall before you mentioned an agreement on the animals final homes post graduation, but seeing the boys snuggling like that really makes me hope that you can keep them all together if possible as they love each other so much.


----------



## tine434

A torn up sock, some missing molding, torn up sofa cushion, and chicken wing stolen out of the trash later....
Rem has kept me BUSY this week y'all! My babies have been bored, I can tell... Roxy is good as new, and Rem is now wanting all of the attention lol. Red? Good as ever. Amazing even lol


----------



## tine434

Ignore the mess but.... I went to take a shower and came out to this imagine. Spot all 4 of them? My heart is too full and I am too blessed by these babies.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

I love all of your photos. It looks as if everyone has weathered the "storm" well. They
all look very happy with each other.

My favorite is the one of Red and Rem sleeping head-to-head. They must be very close.


----------



## tine434

Let me tell you.... Red was licking a lot on his crotch region, so I'm thinking on no! Hot spot! Well I look, and TONS OF BUGS! I wish I had looked closer, grabbed one, something, but I didn't. They were too big to be fleas, ants maybe? Well I ran and got the only thing I had, revolution spray and just sprayed him wet with it... I then washed everyone with dawn (again, only think I had) no bugs on anyone else.... Red has no bugs now, but lots of sores from being bitten. A great friend is bringing some flea medicine, and treatment for the sores. These came out of no where. We went and laid out (all of us soaked up the sun as its been warm finally the past 2 days) and BAM. That quick. If I can find a left over bug I'll post a pic. if it was ants it would be the large ones with wings? I have no idea. I really wish I could go back and pay attention! What a huge scare.


----------



## ktkins7

How's Red doing? Did you figure out what those bugs were?


----------



## Tennyson

Might be red ants. Over 200 species though.


----------



## NewfieMom

That is a _*horrible*_ bug story! I am so glad you could get them off the dog and get the dog cleaned up quickly!

NewfieMom


----------



## tine434

Never did figure out the bug type.... I did pull one dead one off I found in his hair but dropped it before I could examine it well, plus it was flat at that point.

He is covered in these big bites, open heads, now scabbed over all in that sensitive region. No more bugs though. I'm almost positive it had to be some kind of ant as it was larger. Poor Red, he got immediately relief tho! I checked dog beds and everyone else, they were only in him and only that area.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Poor Red, sorry this happened to him. 

I keep a bottle of Vetericyn on hand, it can be used to treat several different things, skin irritations is one, it works great.

Vetericyn One-step wound and skin care that works naturally with your animal's immune system


----------



## NewfieMom

CAROLINA MOM said:


> I keep a bottle of Vetericyn on hand, it can be used to treat several different things, skin irritations is one, it works great.


I forgot about that. Thanks for the reminder. I used to have about four bottles at a time lined up because I used it to treat Griffin's skin regularly. Now that his skin condition has cleared up (Thank you, God), I had forgotten about it. It is a good item to have on hand!

NewfieMom


----------



## tine434

Can't be in a bathroom anywhere in this house lol


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

That's great, I know the feeling. 

They all look great!

Are you counting the days down to Graduation? Have you made a decision regarding which job offer to accept?


----------



## tine434

Yes I am definitely counting down! 54 days! I am so excited!
I still haven't made a decision, as I'm holding out for the "one" ya know? I don't want to settle. And I have my mind set on a certain salary with specific benefits such as free supervision for my licensure. So I'm praying and holding in there. I'm very excited to be moving though! 

The pups are doing GREAT. Rem chewed up as very expensive throw pillow. And he has been barking a lot at outdoor noises so apartment life I don't know what to do about the barking... But these cities I have in mind will offer more training opportunities than here, so I'm confident it'll be ok. Roxy got out of the fence the other day! Sneaky thing. I got her back in but it was a scare and I almost ran her over but I spotted her in the rear view camera. Thank God for it!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I think these 54 days will fly by and graduation will be here before you know it. 

Best of luck with your job choice, you'll know which one is that perfect fit for you. 

Have you considered a townhouse or maybe a duplex with a yard?


----------



## tine434

The apartments in the areas I'm looking at have fenced areas for doggies. I really need the amenities of an apartment such as the Internet, fitness center, etc to cut back on bills and driving since it is city living. Also, I am worried abkut safety and want a gated place...

The place I'm really praying I can get a job at would be 10min to the beach, has fenced in puppy areas, and walking distance to cafes restaurants etc that are pet friendly. I've considered the pet friendliness above evergthibg else


----------



## NewfieMom

tine434 said:


> Yes I am definitely counting down! 54 days! I am so excited!
> I still haven't made a decision, as I'm holding out for the "one" ya know? I don't want to settle. And I have my mind set on a certain salary with specific benefits such as free supervision for my licensure.


I don't know if you posted about these job offers earlier in the thread, Tine, but I would be interested in knowing more about what the work you would be doing in them. I went to the site of Albany State University in Georgia (since you posted your transcript for us to share!). I saw that they offered both BSW and MSW programs. I believe I read that you are earning your MSW. Plus you are going to become licensed. I do not think that most states license BSWs, so I assume that you are bout to earn your MSW.

I have an MSW, earned eons ago, as well as a degree in history. I think that the MSW, like an RN, is very, very hard to earn. Unless one has actually been through a two year program with its work requirements, it is hard to explain the toll that the work in the field takes on the candidate.

My work in history was far more difficult *academically* than my work in social work, but earning my MA in history and the work I did towards my Ph. D (never completed) in history was a walk in the park compared to earning my MSW! Taking a full course load at a graduate school of social work while also doing 21 hours a week of field work and having to write up everything about that work as I wrote papers for my university classes took all I had to give!!!

So: hearty congratulations!

Hugs,
NewfieMom :wavey:


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

tine434 said:


> The apartments in the areas I'm looking at have fenced areas for doggies. I really need the amenities of an apartment such as the Internet, fitness center, etc to cut back on bills and driving since it is city living. Also, I am worried abkut safety and want a gated place...
> 
> The place I'm really praying I can get a job at would be 10min to the beach, has fenced in puppy areas, and walking distance to cafes restaurants etc that are pet friendly. I've considered the pet friendliness above evergthibg else



Sounds perfect, especially the job only 10 min. from the beach.


----------



## tine434

Thank you. Yes it is my MSW, and it has been HARD work! That's for sure. Especially coupled with the other things such as the divorce, fostering, and as everyone knows the long drive I've talked about for school.

My MSW is a clinical focus so the ultimate goal is an LCSW, therapy type work. I've applied for some medical setting also because I've always had an interest. I received a job offer for a local tech college, but I would like to do more social work before turning to teaching unless it was part time.
Once I do decide what job, or find the perfect one, I will definitely have a title with a more clear cut job description!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

You sound very focused, know exactly what you want and have a plan in place to accomplish it. 

GOOD for you girl!


----------



## tine434

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Sounds perfect, especially the job only 10 min. from the beach.


That was confusing, I was on my phone typing and I'm so terrible at it.

The job I want, if I get it, would allow for me to live at apartments with those ammentities because it is super close to them and pays enough. But the job doesn't have the dog park, silly me and my phone typing lol! But you get the idea!


----------



## Eowyn

Congratulations on almost being to graduation _and_ all the job offers! That is HUGE!  I have been praying for you daily and am glad your school and work seem to be working out.


----------



## tine434

Eowyn said:


> Congratulations on almost being to graduation _and_ all the job offers! That is HUGE!  I have been praying for you daily and am glad your school and work seem to be working out.


And I am so happy for every last prayer. Things are looking up! I'm so excited. And everyone will definitely hear about it when I pass the comp exam and I'll post a graduation pic! Lol


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

You've handled all of this with such determination and grace...

You are an extraordinary young woman and deserve all good things from the universe.


----------



## tine434

Noreaster said:


> You've handled all of this with such determination and grace...
> 
> You are an extraordinary young woman and deserve all good things from the universe.


I really don't deserve those kind words, but THANK YOU!


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> I really don't deserve those kind words, but THANK YOU!



You do deserve these words and more! You should be so proud of yourself!


----------



## NewfieMom

jennretz said:


> You do deserve these words and more! You should be so proud of yourself!


Yes, you should be. As I said, getting my MSW was a great challenge for me and I had the support of my husband and my parents, who lived close by and cared for our Golden during the time when my husband worked and I had to be at work doing my field work assignments. You have been through so much more and with less support.

NewfieMom


----------



## tine434

We have an escape artist on our hands... And by the size of the holes I think I know who it is lol. It's ok though, we got her back home and I fixed the holes. But now I know she can't be trusted. Geez.... She just got her life saved, now she's trying to risk it again!


----------



## jennretz

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Poor Red, sorry this happened to him.
> 
> I keep a bottle of Vetericyn on hand, it can be used to treat several different things, skin irritations is one, it works great.
> 
> Vetericyn One-step wound and skin care that works naturally with your animal's immune system


Sandy - not to hijack this thread, but I just ordered some Vetericyn. I've now used it on some dry spots for Charlie (pressure related from the way he lays) and on Dukes (mostly healed) hot spot. This stuff is really good! Thanks for sharing!


----------



## tine434

jennretz said:


> Sandy - not to hijack this thread, but I just ordered some Vetericyn. I've now used it on some dry spots for Charlie (pressure related from the way he lays) and on Dukes (mostly healed) hot spot. This stuff is really good! Thanks for sharing!


I plan to order some also. Especially because Red aways seems to have some kind of issue going on. I knew if she suggested it then it must be good lol


----------



## tine434

I had no idea that a dog could be so goofy, beautiful, loving, aggravating, sweet, clumsy..... Until I had the pleasure, torture, and blessing to be the mom of this boy.


----------



## Chritty

How did you get him to take a selfie?!?!


----------



## tine434

Chritty said:


> How did you get him to take a selfie?!?!


He even has his "better half" angled face there


----------



## jennretz

tine434 said:


> I plan to order some also. Especially because Red aways seems to have some kind of issue going on. I knew if she suggested it then it must be good lol


Tine - I told my vet about this product and she said she loves this stuff. She has 3-4 bottles at home at all times she said. She reinforced how safe and effective it is.

Now I'm going to try some coconut oil for my guy's allergies. Maybe that would work for Red with all his hot spot issues?


----------



## NewfieMom

jennretz said:


> *
> Tine - I told my vet about this product and she said she loves this stuff.* She has 3-4 bottles at home at all times she said. She reinforced how safe and effective it is.


Maybe I should have spoken up earlier, but it was *my vet* who prescribed it for Griffin a couple of years ago. That he doesn't need it all the time now for a skin condition is great, but obviously my vet also liked the medication! Even for a dog with a chronic skin condition.

NewfieMom


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

jennretz said:


> Tine - I told my vet about this product and she said she loves this stuff. She has 3-4 bottles at home at all times she said. She reinforced how safe and effective it is.
> 
> Now I'm going to try some coconut oil for my guy's allergies. Maybe that would work for Red with all his hot spot issues?



I don't know what type/brand of food you guys are feeding your boys, but my two eating Purina Pro Plan for Sensitive Skin and Stomach, they have sensitive stomachs. It's salmon, does not contain corn, wheat or soy. 

I also add Organic Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg) to their water bowl. I use a very large mixing bowl, add 1/2 teaspoon each time I fill it up.

I also have a spray bottle of OACV and water mixed up, I spray them with it before I brush them out.

Here's the info from Bragg's website for using it on pets-

http://bragg.com/products/vinegarPets.html

Neither of my two have had a hot spot yet. My bridge boy had one in his 15.5 years.

Maybe I'm just lucky..........


----------



## tine434

I had minor surgery yesterday, which means I've not been able to see Rem or Red for a while (they've had pet sitters) Cause they are so big and now Rem has been trying to jump at people. So it's been me, Roxy, and Rascal as I recover.


----------



## jennretz

How are you feeling?


----------



## tine434

jennretz said:


> How are you feeling?


I am feeling good... Just can't fight the big boys right now lol but over all, like a champ! I'm up moving around some, and when I'm in bed I do homework. All in all everything is fine and healing well. Just Rem and Red don't understand why they aren't here with me lol They seen me for a second yesterday and went crazy, just not good when you're healing. Like I said, it was minor so I'll be good by midweek


----------



## jennretz

Glad you're feeling better. You've had a lot on your plate!


----------



## tine434

So.... Roxy keeps getting under the wood privacy fence (tons of different places) is there a product anyone would suggest that we could put around the bottom of the fence to keep her from getting underneath it? (And maybe help prevent her trying to dig out as well)


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

The only thing I ever found to work was 18 inches of chicken wire or better, wire garden fence. Dig a 8-10" slot next to the wooden fence (a lawn edger or spade shovel works well for this), insert the wire fence in the slot so that it lies flat against the wood fence both above and below ground level, and backfill.

Giant pain but it works.


----------



## tine434

Noreaster said:


> The only thing I ever found to work was 18 inches of chicken wire or better, wire garden fence. Dig a 8-10" slot next to the wooden fence (a lawn edger or spade shovel works well for this), insert the wire fence in the slot so that it lies flat against the wood fence both above and below ground level, and backfill.
> 
> Giant pain but it works.


Thank you. I will have to try this.


----------



## Anon-2130948gsoni

If she's super dedicated you might have to get a hardware stapler and staple the top of the wire to the fence. 

You could also get some of that hot pepper spray that's supposed to keep dogs and cats out of gardens and spray it on the bottom of the wood fence for a few days. I've never had much success with it, because it goes away quickly and Boomer actually found it tasty, in a painful Texmex kind of way.


----------



## tine434

"Don't make it weird mom. Rascal does it"


----------



## tine434

Beau: http://youtu.be/tbhOvj9zN40

I found this today....


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

Poor sweet Beau -- aren't you glad he is free and not suffering anymore. Finding this video must have put you in tears, remembering how he suffered and how you tried to save him.

(I still have all the pics of him saved in my photo file. He is a poignant reminder to me how so many Goldens (and all other dogs) start out wanted because they are cute puppies, and then are mistreated and discarded.

Wes (Truman) is the other one. Wonder how that special boy is doing ...

That little Roxi is so cute. Looks like Rascal is her best friend!


----------



## tine434

Tosh's Legacy said:


> Poor sweet Beau -- aren't you glad he is free and not suffering anymore. Finding this video must have put you in tears, remembering how he suffered and how you tried to save him.
> 
> (I still have all the pics of him saved in my photo file. He is a poignant reminder to me how so many Goldens (and all other dogs) start out wanted because they are cute puppies, and then are mistreated and discarded.
> 
> Wes (Truman) is the other one. Wonder how that special boy is doing ...
> 
> That little Roxi is so cute. Looks like Rascal is her best friend!


Yes, I actually found a lot of videos and pictures of my fosters over the past 2 years. Once I graduate, I would like to do it again later if given the chance. It was so sad sometimes and so rewarding others.

A lot of changes are happening right now. I received an incredible job offer here in town, and Kevin has asked me to refinance the house since he can't afford it. Although it was not my original plan or the one I really wanted, the offer is great for me. I'm looking into that. If that happens, it looks like I may end up staying here with the big house and yard and be able to foster again sooner than I'd thought. I think I had a passion for that. Animal rescue is definitely my thing, almost as much as social work.

Anyway, it's up in the air so I've just prayed hard for it to all plan out the way it's supposed to.


----------



## Belle's Mom

Fabulous you are getting offers even before graduation!!

Are the boys back home?


----------



## lhowemt

How far you have come since last fall. Congrats!


----------



## tine434

Oh yes, my hellions are back home and life is in order  Kinda. Besides this momma getting no sleep with school. Oh I have the BEST stories from adventures of Rem I will have to post one day soon! He is too smart for his own good!

And yes I have come a long way. While I tried my best, I feel that life has actually gotten better now.

It's been 7 months, crazy huh?


----------



## jennretz

I just love seeing your updates and hearing how things are coming together. You deserve nothing less.


----------



## ZeppGold

So glad to hear of all the wonderful things ahead for you. Praying that God will lead you to exactly where he wants you to be. I am so happy for you.


----------



## tine434

Rem retrieves ANYTHING. Even things you wish he wouldn't. But he will always bring it to you. You have three choices... 1) take item and give him a good boy pat 2) ignore him in which he will take item and chew it up or 3) get onto him in which he will get items next time and never bring them to you, just go chew them up. 

Well, while unpacking some new pots and pans he began something cute, so of course instead of removing the problem we created it more so I could video it... Then half way thru the funniest thing happened. I thought it was hilarious, y'all may not lol but enjoy!

Rem helping: https://youtu.be/lK3BqmrQW1g


----------



## jennretz

That's adorable and he's so proud of himself!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Good job Rem, you're a great 'helper" dog.

Really great to hear things are going so well for you and falling into place.


----------



## NewfieMom

That's a truly wonderful video and your posting was the perfect introduction to it! I kept imagining the consequences if he _*wasn't*_ suitably rewarded for each present he retrieved! I do miss having a Golden! I have no one to bring me shoes all day!!!

Hugs,
NewfieMom


----------



## tine434

Drum roll please.....
^.^ Me and the pups are gonna have to celebrate! 2 more weeks of classes then only 3 weeks to graduation.

My job is really interested in me now that I am receiving a lot of other job offers. So job security is there, and a good offer. My lawyer is writing up the paperwork for me to take the house since Kevin can't refinance it. All seems well so far.


----------



## Eowyn

tine434 said:


> Drum roll please.....
> ^.^ Me and the pups are gonna have to celebrate! 2 more weeks of classes then only 3 weeks to graduation.
> 
> My job is really interested in me now that I am receiving a lot of other job offers. So job security is there, and a good offer. My lawyer is writing up the paperwork for me to take the house since Kevin can't refinance it. All seems well so far.


Congratulations on the jobs offers and almost reaching graduation! YAY! Hope you get the house too if that's where you want to stay.


----------



## tine434

Eowyn said:


> Congratulations on the jobs offers and almost reaching graduation! YAY! Hope you get the house too if that's where you want to stay.


Well, it wasn't the original plan and not what I actually "wanted" but I can't argue with the offers and how things are working out. So at least for now  Plus it keeps all the babies safe with a home for certain.


----------



## hubbub

Congratulations!!!


----------



## tine434

No one tell that one of his best friends is a cat lol


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Congratulations to you, really happy for you!

The pic of Rem and his best buddy is adorable, they're so cute together.


----------



## Tosh's Legacy

tine434 said:


> No one tell that one of his best friends is a cat lol


Is this picture of Red? It is so cute to see him with Rascal cuddling so closely. (Mine two consider cats only good for chasing and barking at!)

So happy to hear the good news about job offers and the house. You have weathered the storms in your life so well, and should be so proud of yourself.


----------



## tine434

Actually, yes. This is Red. ^.^ And I was popping in to post this picture also...
Ignore my messy table, going thru finals right now so things are a mess! Lol
Does anyone remember the story of Red? He has his own thread somewhere, I'd have to go look for it.
Oh he was so crazy, out of control, bit her dad over chicken he stole off the counter. He would jump on the baby, 'escape' and eat the neighbors chickens. Come to find out he was tied to their backyard tree all the time. Well, I got him and (and though he loves to play) he's the calmest and well behaved of all 3! Just as sweet as can be. It took all of 2 or 3 days to stop the jumping. He loves kids too btw. Never bit me, although initially he was protective of items, that was easily fixed with rewards for giving items to me.


----------



## Eowyn

The picture with the Rascal and Red's paws crossed is SO cute! Awww....


----------



## tine434

Rem and Roxy watching the hedges being trimmed lol Does anyone else see how BIG Rem is? He's much larger than Red.


----------



## tine434

I posted prematurely you all lol Let me add one more.


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## tine434

Well, now that it's warming up again, guess who's loaded with hot spots? Red. First was on his back so I shaved it, cleaned, and used gold bond. While healing I put his comfy e-collar on. It healed up quickly. Now though it's his whole inner thigh which he can reach wearing his cone. Although when I'm around he won't touch it, he knows he shouldn't... I can't be there every second lol its just got worse and worse =( I remember last Summer how bad it was, I really wish I knew a permanent cure for how persistent these are for him...


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## NewfieMom

tine434 said:


> Well, now that it's warming up again, guess who's loaded with hot spots? Red. First was on his back so I shaved it, cleaned, and used gold bond. While healing I put his comfy e-collar on. It healed up quickly. Now though it's his whole inner thigh which he can reach wearing his cone. Although when I'm around he won't touch it, he knows he shouldn't... I can't be there every second lol its just got worse and worse =( I remember last Summer how bad it was, *I really wish I knew a permanent cure* for how persistent these are for him...


We have been through this. I sympathize.

NewfieMom


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## jennretz

*&quot;R to the Fourth Power&quot; The Math Story*



NewfieMom said:


> We have been through this. I sympathize.
> 
> 
> 
> NewfieMom




Tine - i've been having good luck with the vetrycin (?sp) and coconut oil (organic/unrefined) that Sandy recommended. you might want to try it for Red's hotspots.


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## tine434

I feed coconut oil, they're on Pro plan sensitive skin and stomach, I put a smidge of organic apple cider vinegar in their water, and I can get the hot spots to clear up... but it's stopping the reoccurances. It's terrible. Rem has never got one, but Red keeps them! =( I know he's miserable... I do plan on investing in that vetrycin, but like I said... clearing them up js easy if I can keep him from licking the area... But I get more and more popping up


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## Tosh's Legacy

In my desperation to clear up Roxi's reoccurent hotspots (in same area as Red's), I used that pink Calamine lotion that I use on myself. It has a soothing anti-inch agent in it, plus it dries.

Can't promise that it will work for Red, but it certainly cleared hers up quickly, because
it kept it from itching. Give it a try!

(Roxi is allergic to some weeds and grass in our yard, and it is a constant battle!)


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## tine434

It worked ok with her fur too? You just rubbed it into fur and skin all over?


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## Tosh's Legacy

tine434 said:


> It worked ok with her fur too? You just rubbed it into fur and skin all over?


I shaved (or cut the hair shorter) on the really bad places. It's easier to put on that way, but I've also just parted the hair and rubbed it in. 

Oh, forgot to mention that I give her 25 mg. Benadryl tablet, too. The antihistamine helps. Been using that for years with my other Goldens.
(Roxi weighs 50 lbs. Wrigley weighs 84: he can take one or two).

You are close enough to us that you probably have ants by the millions, too. No matter how hard you try to get rid of them, there are always some in the grass -- their bites really set her hotspots off (esp. fire ants). That's where the Benadryl really helps. Roxi loves to lay on the grass and watch for birds and squirrels ...


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## tine434

Red loves to lay in the grass also! Remember the post of all the bugs, now thought to be ants, he came in with? Well, I'll try benadryl. I keep it for myself and Roxy anyway! I never seem to know where the hot spots will be at... he's had one on his face, one on his neck, two behind his ear, several on his back and then this on his inner thigh. I've considered bathing him weekly, but wasn't sure if that would help or irritate it.


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## Tosh's Legacy

Oh yeah -- here's another thing I've done (_anything_ that helps!): use an old cotton t-shirt to cover the area that he can still pick at. Put his legs in the armholes (either the tail end or head/neck can go in the neck hole, depending on what you want to cover.
Pin or tie it up around him so it doesn't drag. Cut it up or whatever you have to do to get it to work! That's what I used on Roxi -- used the sleeves to cover her back legs so that she couldn't get to the thigh area. I'm not good at explaining, but just be creative!)

Or use flannel pj bottoms and put the tail through the fly and his legs in the legs (cut off, of course). That works good, too -- but only if Rem doesn't try to pull them off Red. You may have to rig up a sort of suspender to
tie to his collar.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Here's some info I found on Petswebmd that might be helpful-

What are Hot Spots in Dogs?


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## jennretz

The tshirt helps alot!


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## Tosh's Legacy

Here's a good idea to keep Red from scratching his hotspots -- wonder if they make these large enough for a full grown Golden?!!


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## Makomom

That whole body shirt is great!! I need 2 right now for Max and Mako...both have a bad hot spot!!! I am at wits end....used gold bond....Epsom salts to soak the area...all shaved...Benadryl and on grain free food...nothing is working! They keep licking and are miserable. I never thought about calamine lotion....I am going to pick some up on the way home from work and use it tonight. I will try anything!


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## ktkins7

I know Bag Balm can also help skin irritations. Works on both humans and animals.


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## Tosh's Legacy

Makomom said:


> That whole body shirt is great!! I need 2 right now for Max and Mako...both have a bad hot spot!!! I am at wits end....used gold bond....Epsom salts to soak the area...all shaved...Benadryl and on grain free food...nothing is working! They keep licking and are miserable. I never thought about calamine lotion....I am going to pick some up on the way home from work and use it tonight. I will try anything!



:doh:I don't want to mislead you and cause any problem for your dog: I have used calamine lotion on Roxi and Wrigley several times, but mostly in areas they can't lick, or I have covered the area so they can't lick it. Calamine lotion has zinc oxide in it. It may upset their stomach if they try to lick it off. As I said, desperation and lack of any other method available at the time led me to try it. It worked; but be sure it is covered. Or, better yet, consult with your vet.

There is a Benadryl spray that works great, too. (My vet recommended it.)

As long as they are able to pick and scratch, the hot spot will stay inflamed. Washing the area with apple cider vinegar, drying the area and then applying cornstarch has worked miracles in a couple of bad situations
for Roxi.

I apologize for not being more specific and misleading you ...:uhoh:


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## jennretz

Tosh's Legacy said:


> Here's a good idea to keep Red from scratching his hotspots -- wonder if they make these large enough for a full grown Golden?!!



Isn't this ray charles?


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## Tosh's Legacy

jennretz said:


> Isn't this ray charles?


Embarrassed to admit it, but please explain ... or is it so clear that I can't see it?


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## Makomom

I have no clue how to put a quote on here from previous poster! Agh...
anyways thank you Tosh's legacy....I will not put anything on the hot spot before asking my vet. I have an apt today for Max. Hoping he gets some relief! I am going to ask and look for the Benadryl spray too. I hate having them on pills.:yuck:


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## Tosh's Legacy

Makomom said:


> I have no clue how to put a quote on here from previous poster! Agh...
> anyways thank you Tosh's legacy....I will not put anything on the hot spot before asking my vet. I have an apt today for Max. Hoping he gets some relief! I am going to ask and look for the Benadryl spray too. I hate having them on pills.:yuck:


 I hate putting mine on any kind of medication, too. It really bugs me to have to use heartworm and flea meds, but I do. It's just too uncontrollable here in Florida, as you know.

Actually, I didn't ask my vet about the Caladryl/Calamine lotion: it was a spur-of-the-moment out of desperation decision, as I use it on myself for eczema and it dries it so well, plus keeps it from itching. I looked it up on-line yesterday, just to make sure I wasn't leading someone down the wrong path. I put it on sparingly. It does work well! Mine have had no reaction at all, even after licking a small area. But ... on-line articles don't promote it because they can lick and ingest it. It's like everything else nowadays: everyone has an opinion. So, just to be safe, consult your vet.

Mine are resting comfortably right now -- no hotspots yet this year!


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## jennretz

Tosh's Legacy said:


> Embarrassed to admit it, but please explain ... or is it so clear that I can't see it?


Sorry....it would have helped if the picture had come through. The picture of the puppy in the body suit - I think that's Ray Charles, the blind golden retriever who has a following a facebook. That's what I was asking because he's so darn cute


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## tine434

I posted this on fb this morning....
Graduation is may 9th... I've scheduled graduation pics for me and Rem lol


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## ZeppGold

Wow! So proud of you. I am so glad that things are looking up for you. You worked hard for this. Enjoy!


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## Tosh's Legacy

Don't you look beautiful! And proud: as well you should be! I couldn't be prouder of someone I don't even know in any way except somehow in my heart.

You have wisely chosen to take your bad choices and make something of yourself.
That is so uplifting to watch -- may God richly bless the road ahead of you!

Cheers!!!!!!


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## Tosh's Legacy

jennretz said:


> Sorry....it would have helped if the picture had come through. The picture of the puppy in the body suit - I think that's Ray Charles, the blind golden retriever who has a following a facebook. That's what I was asking because he's so darn cute


It _is_ Ray Charles ... I looked him up on Facebook! I found this photo on-line while looking for something else. Now he has another fan.


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## tine434

So, to end a chapter to our book....
This is my family. We aren't where we started, but we are exactly where we are supposed to be. 
I am a newly graduated MSW student who just got promoted at her nonprofit and hired for a contract job that allowed me to refinance and ultimately become the sole owner of my home in a nice quiet subdivision. I have two great golden boys and a rotten little schnauzer mix girl along with one cool cat. 
Now that I've graduated I am slowly easing back into animal rescue, renovating the home that is now ours, purchasing a pool for us this Summer, and experiencing life on all new levels as a single and very independent fur-mommy.

Thanks to all who've experienced this journey with us!


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## rooroch

Brilliant!! Well done. I have followed all your journey even though I do not post often.


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## Helo's Mom

Congratulations!!!! You are a very strong, capable person!


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## wjane

Congratulations - you did it - and what an accomplishment - you should be proud!


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## Belle's Mom

So proud of you!

Thanks for letting us be a part of your journey.

We look forward to all the great things the future holds for you and the fur kids.


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## jennretz

Way to go Tine! This is just the prequel to your "real" life  You have come through this as an amazingly strong and resilient woman! I loved your facebook post.


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## hubbub

Many MANY congratulations!!!!! Looks like everyone's in a slice of heaven


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## tine434

hubbub said:


> Many MANY congratulations!!!!! Looks like everyone's in a slice of heaven


Thanks go every last one of you for your support! And hopefully somewhere within this thread, lessons have been learned and humanity discovered in some small way. I know I've learned that sometimes complete strangers can be a support system  
I wanted to quote this because it's so true....
Back in Sept I truly thought my life was over. While I can proudly say I fought tooth and nail for what I believed in, things didn't work out that way.... And surprisingly, we are all doing well. In a way, we are all doing better. Life has settled down into a stable adventure, the pups love their momma and have gotten used to how things are now. I have this peace of "this is how life should be". I think they do too.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Huge Congratulations to you!
You should be so very proud of yourself, I am.

It's been a rough journey for you but you weathered the storm, you focused on what was important to you which was taking care of yourself and accomplishing the goals you had set for yourself. You accomplished these and so much more and have come out a much stronger and happier person. 

I wish you all the best life has to offer, much success to you in your career, and I hope your new adventures fill your life with much joy.
The day will come when you will meet the man that is worthy of you, keep that in mind.


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## Eowyn

Oh I am so happy for you Christine! It's been a hard journey but God is faithful.


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## jennretz

Tine - just checking in to see how summer is going and how you're doing...


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## tine434

Man, it has been crazy... I am working about 60 hours a week between both jobs and caring for the house and pups, but it is very rewarding. I feel bad, the pups don't get the daily interactive play time with me they need, but I hope to take them to the lake soon. I definitely am ready for things to slow down and to enjoy life a bit more, I know that'll happen soon enough. I applied to take my licensure exam, that is a VERY big deal lol. Hopefully I'll get approval within a couple months then schedule to take it, fingers crossed!

I will say, my pups have been huge blessings. Although I am so busy with work and keeping up everything, they've proven the best ever. When my nieces and nephews come over they're absolute angels to them. Not to mention, total love bugs for me.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Great to hear you are doing so well but sorry to hear how much you are working though. 
I know Red, Remy, and Roxy must miss you.......


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## jennretz

That is a great update! So glad things are coming together for you


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## Eowyn

I am so glad to hear you and the pups are doing well! I will be praying things settle down though, you need a break girl!


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