# Totally lost!!!



## SoGolden (Jul 17, 2008)

I am very sorry for your loss. Your question should probably be moved to Rainbow Bridge thread; I don't know how. Hope this flags a moderator...


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain is so evident in your post. Take heart that you did the best you could with the info you had. Your sweet girl would certainly not want you to suffer so.... many of us here believe we will be reunited with our beloved furbabies when it is our time. She never doubted you..... so please try not to doubt yourself. Go forward, as hard as it is, the way she would have wanted. I hope at some point you can open your heart to another sweetheart. Many find it helps so much with healing and there are so many who need a good home. Your fur angel will help lead you in the path you walk ..... she is right there with you, just on silent paws. Many hugs, Betty


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

I am so terribly sorry to hear this about your girl. I have been struggling, along with my vets, to understand anaplasmosis; Rocky Mt Spotted fever and the other Tick disease are still emerging medically, and so much is unknown both about each disease and about likely co-infections. Even big medical/teaching hospitals do not agree about how and when to test and treat. This is terribly sad news.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Im with Betty...you did the best you could with the info you had.
We often never know the reasons for our trials...perhaps your sharing will help another that is dealing with a multiple vet health crisis and will coordinate better because of your post or perhaps someone will research Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever...and be better prepared.
Either way...Know your broken heart is understood here...


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## FranH (May 8, 2005)

I'm so sorry for your loss. You will find lots of comfort here.

Moving this thread to "Rainbow Bridge"


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I also agree with Betty. Your beloved pup would not want you to suffer and blame yourself. Your pup knows you loved her!!!!!

I understand how you are feeling though. Our Max died almost ten years ago from a condition that was misdiagnosed and mistreated by our vet we had then. I finally switched vets, got a correct diagnosis but it was too late for our Max who was 12. I was guilt ridden and angry at the old vet for a long time. We are lay people and even though we can try to learn as much as we can, there are things out of our control.
I know Max forgives me and knows how much I loved him. Your girl does too. I hope being here will help ease your pain.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I am so sorry for your pain. Stop beating yourself up, yu did the best you could. Rocky Mtn Spotted fever is very hard to treat from what I understand. Good luck!


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## jjcason (Jan 22, 2009)

Thanks you for the support and encouragement.


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## AmbikaGR (Dec 31, 2007)

I can only hope by "voicing" your feelings here that you are able to see that there is no reason to forgive yourself, you did NOTHING wrong. I am so sorry for your loss and as much as it hurts it does get better, but unfortunately it never goes away. That part of your heart that was her's will always be her's and will at times ache more than others. I have found that "making" myself remember good times with those that have gone on before me helps and as time goes on the good memories far outweigh the bad in my heart.
Take care


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## Samaliners (Mar 24, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss... I know that no matter what we say... it will not bring you pup back... but we are always here if you need a sounding board. I am sure there is more than one person who has gone though what you have gone and are going though and can help a little bit. This is a great site... and help us a great deal when we lost our pup... hang in there


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## Bob-N-Tash (Feb 24, 2008)

How very sad, many of us have lost heart dogs. It's never easy. Don't blame yourself for not knowing more. As someone else said, perhaps your posting will help someone else at some future point.


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## New Golden Mom (Dec 17, 2008)

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I'm very sorry for your loss. I've been there and it is hard to realize that if things had been different, the outcome might be too.
Forgive yourself and know that you would have done anything possible for more time together. Your girl knows that too and would forgive you anything. Remember the good times and how much you loved each other. She knows you did the best your could. Dogs live very much in the now and I'm sure her time with you was wonderful or you wouldn't be heartbroken.
Everybody deals with grief differently, but I find it absolutely necessary to have another best friend enter my life fairly quickly after one passes on. Give it some thought and see if getting a new pup might help. it would not be because you lost your love, but because she taught how much joy a dog can bring.


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## Auenk9 (Oct 23, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first golden back in 2007 at 13 and there are days that I still feel the pain like it was yesterday. Don't be hard on yourself. Your girl had 11 1/2 good years and you did the best you knew how with the information presented at the time. Try and "believe" she is smiling down from heaven ..... playing and enjoying herself ..... and healthy again. And take comfort that we all understand.....


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

So sorry to hear of your loss. I'm afraid I probably would have made the same assumptions you did. Having lost two goldens in the past I can really sympathize with your sense of loss.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. She would not want you to blame yourself, because you did not know. Remember the good times and the love you shared and not the end. I love your avatar picture of her. Looks like a real sweetheart.


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## Mandy's Dad (May 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of Dutchess. It is easy for us to learn about issues when it is too late. Don't beat yourself up for anything! Just keep your memories of Dutchess close to your heart and smile for knowing her. Rest in peace sweet Dutchess.


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## Carmen (Jun 2, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was well loved. RIP beautiful girl.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

We simply can't control all the factors or understand all the possible health complications for every situation. This is true of _any_ health problems but with the TBDs in particular, since the scientific body of knowledge grows and grows but is still completely dwarfed by the complexity of biology.

Besides, it sounds to me more like your vet didn't ask the appropriate questions or review the chart carefully. How can you expect yourself to be current on every possible dog disease just in case your dog gets one?

You can forgive yourself, but I don't see anything to forgive. Quite the contrary. You took your sick dog to the emergency vet and paid extra to make sure she was seen in a timely fashion. You went for a followup visit and followed the instructions you were given by professionals you paid exorbitant amounts of money.

Even if you had made some kind of mistake in providing the care, there's still no reason to think you should hold yourself permanently responsible for her death. 

You loved your dog deeply; you did your best to provide the best possible medical care for her. Rest content that she loved you and would not want you to suffer with guilt, especially over things you couldn't control.


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## Sucker For Gold (Jan 13, 2009)

I know exactly what you are going through. We lost our golden just a couple of weeks ago to what I believe was treatment complications from hemangiosarcoma of the heart and spleen. He developed a severe GI bleed, most likely from long term use of prednisone. It would take me an hour to explain all the things that I think should have been done differently during the course of his illness, both on our part and on the part of the vet(s), but the list is long.


While there are plenty of guilt feelings here, I have resolved to do a few things.

First of all, we tried our best and so did our vet. While I do believe we might have done better, there's no sense in placing blame or feeling guilty....it won't bring our goldens back. Because of the care we gave them your dog and our dog had good long lives. Ours was 9, yours was 11. For me, I am resolving to learn more about everything that happened and attempt to work closer with our Vet in the future so these kind of things don't happen. Miscommunication or a total lack of communication played a large roll in many of the problems that we experienced....so next time we are going to strive for better communication.

Secondly, if you were a one dog family, and you are currently dogless...I say begin the search for a new one. Somewhere out there is a dog that needs your love as much as you need theirs. I think someone in these forums posted a saying that went something like this.... "everytime I lose a dog he takes a piece of my heart with him and everytime I get a dog he gives me a piece of his heart..." We began our search within hours of laying Rusty to rest, and if you don't think that won't bring on fellings of guilt, let me tell you it does. But IMHO it is the best way to begin to heal the hole in your heart. And given time the hole will heal.


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## JohnTIZ (Jan 9, 2009)

Agree with all the above. You did nothing wrong. You sought professional help for your pet and very tragically things still didn't work out. Don't blame yourself! Sometimes in spite of all veterinary science has to offer, a greater power deals a cruel blow and afflicts our beloved pets in a ways that are beyond healing. One nice thing about you and everyone else on this forum is that when your dog is sick - you take it to the vet. Most people just wait and hope the dog will rally by itself. You did your best!


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

You cannot hold yourself responsible - although I feel sure that at some stage when we have lost our goldens, we all do. Hindsight is a wonderful thing - if only we could all be blessed with it. I know when i lost my girls, the people here were amazing and it helped me through those awful days, months and yes years after. The hurt never really goes away, i think we just get better at coping with it.

I know it is easy to say, but try and focus on the good times with your girl (sorry don't know her name), and i am sure that in the 11+ years you had with her there were many.

Run free, play hard and sleep softly


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## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

There should be no guilt........
There should be no blame........
She awaits the reunion healthy, happy, and forever young.
She would not want you to carry these loads.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I know what you are going through. I lost my best horse 8 years ago. He was my heart. I still grieve for him. I'm certain that if I'd understood Cushing's disease better, I could have saved him. I didn't get the diet right because I misunderstood what I should do.

All I can tell you is that you (and I ) did the best we could with what we knew at the time. Had we known more, we would have done more. Both are at the bridge. I'm sure Duchess is stretched out, napping in the sun while Rocket grazes nearby. Our Polly is there too.

(((((((Hugs))))))))))


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## Champysmom (Aug 14, 2008)

It is so easy to blame yourself. When my baby left me, I spent many sleepless nights wondering if there was something else to be done. Please know that it was simply your girl's time. She knows how much you loved her. Be thankful that you had a wonderful 11+ years with her. My heart is hurting for you. I truly know how you feel.

Karen


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Jjcason*

JJCASON:

So many of us here know how it feels to lose our dogs.
it is NOT your fault. You did the best you could.
11 1/2 years is a good age. 
The only thing that ever helped me in my grief was having another dog to love-everyone must do things in their own time.
Please don't blame yourself-it is evident how much you loved her.

God Bless.


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