# Closed Hearts....



## vleffingwell (Jan 12, 2011)

After losing my Annie last week, I searched and found a Rainbow Bridge forum. Reading posts on grieving owners, I am at a loss on how many refuse to have a dog again. Even co-workers are so broken hearted over the loss of their pet, they have vowed to never get another one again. 
I always want to have a Golden in my life and can't wait until the whole pack is there to greet me when I get to the other side....!!


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

The pain is unbearable for many and I still cry, even typing this, 6 months after the loss of our Cheyenne, but I will never be without a dog, either a Golden (Tayla our 9 month old) or an Aussie. They joy they give us (still waiting for joy with puppy - LOL) is worth all the pain.


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

When I lost my first golden, I was so devastated, that I did not want to face this ever again. Well, did not last very long. A month later I had another golden puppy to love and watch grow up. 
Of course, the pain is always there of losing a pet, but it gets more tolerable. And of course, one pet is never replaced with another pet. They are all their own individuals and special.


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## CarlosW9FE (Jul 17, 2012)

I love and miss my Rhett dearly and hurt every single day being without him. He was my first Golden which we adopted into our family at the age of 7. I have started to make some initial inquiries about getting 2 Goldens, possibly from a local rescue. Even though the new dogs will never replace my Rhett, I look forward to the new companionship and love that the Goldens have to offer.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Vleffingwell*

Vleffingwell

Everyone handles their grief differently, but I would say the vast majority of people that lose dogs, will eventually get another. My Husband and I have lost six dogs and we have always adopted another. We love having two dogs. Sorry you found us under sad circumstances and so sorry for your loss of Annie!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

My husband and I have had dogs all our lives through childhood to now as an adult. For me, life is not complete without sharing it with at least one dog, preferably more. We lost our Old Gold 1.5 years ago. My girl Roxy is a former puppy mill momma that I adopted through a GR Rescue-she will always need to be with another dog. Two weeks after losing our Old guy, I found a young male at my County Humane Society and adopted him. 

I feel sorry for those who have chosen not to open their hearts up to the love and joy of having another dog, especially another Golden. Each dog you have is very special and unique, and forever holds a very special place in your heart. You can never replace one with another.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Annie. I hope you find your Golden mix.


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## DERBYBOY7 (May 18, 2012)

I am also sorry for the loss of Annie, However its not fair of you to judge. I lost Honey, who was the first dog i ever had April 28th and it is the worst grief I've ever experienced. I could see never wanting to feel that way again. Luckily I have a wife pushing me in the direction of another Golden.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

DERBYBOY7 said:


> I am also sorry for the loss of Annie, However its not fair of you to judge. I lost Honey, who was the first dog i ever had April 28th and it is the worst grief I've ever experienced. I could see never wanting to feel that way again. Luckily I have a wife pushing me in the direction of another Golden.



I didn't find the post to be judgmental at all... I think she simply falls into a different camp and is trying to understand how anyone would ever choose to live without the possibility of having that overwhelming and uniquely special love for a dog in their lives ever again. That's all... 

I'm glad you see the potential in your wife's idea. And yes, I am one who feels that there is no greater tribute to the one you've lost, whether it's a person or a pet, than the fact that the joy they brought to your life was so great that you'd risk heartache again for the chance to feel something similar to that love one more time.


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

vleffingwell said:


> After losing my Annie last week, I searched and found a Rainbow Bridge forum. Reading posts on grieving owners, I am at a loss on how many refuse to have a dog again. Even co-workers are so broken hearted over the loss of their pet, they have vowed to never get another one again.
> I always want to have a Golden in my life and can't wait until the whole pack is there to greet me when I get to the other side....!!


IMO and experience, helping another dog is the best way to honor the boy/girl we've lost ... and fill the house up with love again. We adopted Andy at 1 or 2 years old just two weeks after our 3rd rescue (#2 and #3 rescues were seniors with cancer we loved for 7 months each till they went to the Bridge). A couple weeks after Henry went to the Bridge TVGRR called and said "you probably aren't ready, but we have this wonderful young boy ..." 9+ years later he's still blessing our lives with love and laughter. I doubt I could adopt another 2 weeks after Andy goes, but it wouldn't be too long.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

I believe I was in a depression for almost a year after my heart, dog, Sally died. I could barely get out of bed and cried every day when I drove to work.


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

I agree that everyone grieves in different ways but I'm with you in that I have vowed that I will never enter my home again without a wiggle butt welcome if I can help it.


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## DERBYBOY7 (May 18, 2012)

nolefan said:


> I didn't find the post to be judgmental at all... I think she simply falls into a different camp and is trying to understand how anyone would ever choose to live without the possibility of having that overwhelming and uniquely special love for a dog in their lives ever again. That's all...
> 
> I'm glad you see the potential in your wife's idea. And yes, I am one who feels that there is no greater tribute to the one you've lost, whether it's a person or a pet, than the fact that the joy they brought to your life was so great that you'd risk heartache again for the chance to feel something similar to that love one more time.


Maybe judgemental was the wrong word. I guess what i was trying to say was i could see how someone could feel the need to crawl up in a ball to protect themselves from that almost inevitable overwhelming heartache. 

But at the same time its also very hard to imagine the rest of my life going by without feeling that joy again either.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

My heart is not closed, it is broken. And it needs time to heal. I am not afraid of being in pain again, I do not fear a loss, *I just miss my Buddy*. If you break a leg you cant force yourself to run right away, you need time to heal and then go back to run. Do you miss running, yes you miss it a lot but cant help it. You need time to heal your wounds then you can enjoy the run again. Why it takes so long? Because my Buddy was my heart and soul. I am blessed I had him. I do not expect that to happen one more time. Yes you can love again but it is not the same love. And I am not afraid to love again. I just need more time.


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## AbbysMom505 (Jun 16, 2012)

I lost my big sweet boy, Oscar...it'll be two years on Christmas Eve. He was best friend...my fierce protector...my security...my constant companion. When he left I cried every morning while getting ready for work...for
month. I'd beg God to let me have him back...to help me understand why my sweet boy suffered so much...and why he had to go. I thought the pain of that terrible loss would never go away...my chest still gets tight just thinking about it...but over time it has eased. I still cry...lots. I am
still grieving. I miss him desperately. I try very hard to think only of the wonderful 10 years that amazing sweet soul gave me...rather than the last torturous months of sickness and pain he was forced to go through. Everyone heals and grieves so
differently. Some people do so much better in a matter of months...some
of us take years. I wish our fur babies
could stay with us longer than they do...no matter the pain of that loss...I would do it all over again...without a single thought. The bond from birth to the last breath is something that can never be broken. ((hugs)) to all of you that have lost a special fur baby.... 


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I definitely agree that everyone grieves and and heals differently. Some people will take longer to open their hearts and some may never be ready to open up their hearts. I've seen people loose their spouses. Some are able to marry again. And some never marry again. My cousin was very much in love when she lost her husband to cancer. She married again within about a year. That was wonderful that she was able to do that. The second marriage within a couple of years, he died of a heart attack. She married again wtihin 2 years. 

So I feel that we should always be supportive is someone is ready to adopt within a short time. By the same token, we should realize that not everyone is going to be ready in the same time period. We should be supportive of that as well. The world would be a pretty dull place if everyone was the same.


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## Always51 (Feb 19, 2012)

When we lost Geordie at nearly 15, the last thing we could think about was another dog..we were devastated , we knew he was going to go some day...but I came home from work and found him passed away on his bed ( looked like he was just sleeping)...it took us 2 years to even contemplate a new pup..and now we do!!..but we still miss Geordie every day..
Everyones different with how they grieve and I understand that sometimes the time is never right for a new dog...


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

I try to respect all the different ways people grieve. I generally encourage people to move through their grief (not move "on," just move from the frozen, crushing parts of grief to the happy memories and tears mixed with smiles), but that can mean very different things for different people.

When Gus died, we still had Comet, and while my fiancé was ready right away for another dog to bring us back to two, I really wasn't. Jax was dropped in our laps a few months later, though, and it was a really beautiful confluence of events.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

tippykayak said:


> I try to respect all the different ways people grieve. I generally encourage people to move through their grief (not move "on," just move from the frozen, crushing parts of grief to the happy memories and tears mixed with smiles), but that can mean very different things for different people.
> 
> When Gus died, we still had Comet, and while my fiancé was ready right away for another dog to bring us back to two, I really wasn't. Jax was dropped in our laps a few months later, though, and it was a really beautiful confluence of events.


I never said never but for 10 months I could not even listen to my family talking about another dog in our house. Maybe because my Buddy was my heart and soul, maybe because he was the first and only, maybe because the way I am. Or maybe all together. I am so happy for everyone who brings new dog in their home but I was crashed and messed up too much to even think about that.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Buddy's mom forever said:


> I never said never but for 10 months I could not even listen to my family talking about another dog in our house. Maybe because my Buddy was my heart and soul, maybe because he was the first and only, maybe because the way I am. Or maybe all together. I am so happy for everyone who brings new dog in their home but I was crashed and messed up too much to even think about that.


"Messed up" describes me perfectly when Gus died. I was happy to have Comet around and to lavish my attention on him. It made me feel better to express my grief by taking really good care of a living dog. However, the idea of a new dog was hard for me to feel good about for some reason until we got the phone call asking us if we wanted Jax. Then, suddenly I was super ready for another dog.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

tippykayak said:


> "Messed up" describes me perfectly when Gus died. I was happy to have Comet around and to lavish my attention on him. It made me feel better to express my grief by taking really good care of a living dog. However, the idea of a new dog was hard for me to feel good about for some reason until we got the phone call asking us if we wanted Jax. Then, suddenly I was super ready for another dog.


See tippy that phone call was "lucky coincidence", as I believe things happen for reason. If it happened to us probably I could not say "No" at least my husband would not let that happen. I "needed" that pain to make move in my spiritual growth, to make me who I am today. You think without that pain I would be able to read every single bridge and cancer thread and respond to it. I don't think so, I would believe I do not need that negative energy in my life, but now I know if I support someone that hurts and send some positive thoughts it will help them feel better knowing they are not alone. As it helped me too.


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## maggie1951 (Apr 20, 2007)

vleffingwell said:


> After losing my Annie last week, I searched and found a Rainbow Bridge forum. Reading posts on grieving owners, I am at a loss on how many refuse to have a dog again. Even co-workers are so broken hearted over the loss of their pet, they have vowed to never get another one again.
> I always want to have a Golden in my life and can't wait until the whole pack is there to greet me when I get to the other side....!!


I know my bridge kids will be waiting for me


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I absolutely believe that is true! You are such an amazingly supportive and wise lady! You reach out and comfort and help so many from your broken heart. You definitely make so many that are hurting to know that we're not alone. I say that, because you've been an amazing support for me at such a hard time. And I see you do it again, and again and again! 

And you should grieve on your own terms. No one can say when that has been enough. And when and if you're able to taken another into your heart-only you will know.



Buddy's mom forever said:


> See tippy that phone call was "lucky coincidence", as I believe things happen for reason. If it happened to us probably I could not say "No" at least my husband would not let that happen. I "needed" that pain to make move in my spiritual growth, to make me who I am today. You think without that pain I would be able to read every single bridge and cancer thread and respond to it. I don't think so, I would believe I do not need that negative energy in my life, but now I know if I support someone that hurts and send some positive thoughts it will help them feel better knowing they are not alone. As it helped me too.


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## maggie1951 (Apr 20, 2007)

Buddy's mom forever said:


> My heart is not closed, it is broken. And it needs time to heal. I am not afraid of being in pain again, I do not fear a loss, *I just miss my Buddy*. If you break a leg you cant force yourself to run right away, you need time to heal and then go back to run. Do you miss running, yes you miss it a lot but cant help it. You need time to heal your wounds then you can enjoy the run again. Why it takes so long? Because my Buddy was my heart and soul. I am blessed I had him. I do not expect that to happen one more time. Yes you can love again but it is not the same love. And I am not afraid to love again. I just need more time.


How very true


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