# Why doesn't my golden like me?



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Hi, welcome to the forum. 

How old is your golden and how long have you had him?

Maybe you can spend some time with him one on one, do something special with him. 

I have two Goldens, sometimes I take just by boy out to the Trails nearby for a walk or to the Beach for a walk just the two of us. 

Have you taken him to any training classes? Classes are a good way for you to bond with him and also fun.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

Do you ever walk your pup with it being just you and him? This is a great bonding time for dog and owner.


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## GinnyinPA (Oct 31, 2010)

Sometimes a dog just bonds better with one person than another. Ben is very much my husband's dog, even though I also feed him, walk him, and give him treats. He is not a terribly affectionate dog, most of the time, so he doesn't like it when I try too hard to get him to interact. He likes to decide when he plays or cuddles and when he doesn't. I think trying to force the attention just doesn't work. If you just leave your dog be, he may warm up.


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

You have my sympathies. Zoe and I were constant companions, did a lot of training and therapy work together and yet I used to have these thoughts sometimes. It seemed like she would always get more excited about the new person. Goldens often get excited to greet the new person but there seemed to be more to it. After awhile I decided that she just took me for granted. I noticed that if I was unexpectedly away, she'd be more interested on my return and people that we trained with said she was very devoted to me. I just didn't see it.

Sometimes Goldens will try harder to get the attention of the very people who are least interested in them. So I'd stop with the extra treats etc. You say he's a wonderful, well behaved dog. Try to just accept him for the dog he is and a strong bond will form over time if you share lots of experiences and activities.


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## Doug (Jul 17, 2010)

It is true. Goldens try to win the affection of new people all of the time.
He knows that you love him so there is no need for him to show off and display his feathers as much. He feels safe with you.

Have you noticed that during a party he will go to the person who dislikes dogs the most and ignores those who are willing to give free hugs? He is trying to win their approval. He already has yours.

Keep feeding him, talking to him and playing with his toys. 
Try to think of it as a compliment.


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## Alaska7133 (May 26, 2011)

My girl Lucy follows around whoever last did something fun with her. Usually my DH is the play guy and I'm the obedience class person. So DH gets more of the happy dog treatment than I do. DH takes are on mountain bike and snow bike runs. They go for miles and miles. She's exhausted when she comes home, but still follows him around while he puts everything away. I on the other hand do the classes and training. Not so much fun. So put some fun only times in. The training doesn't count. Just a fun off leash run around if possible. You are looking for just the 2 of you having a good time. My girl likes birds, so I go throw some dead pigeons for her and you would think she had died and gone to heaven she is so happy. Then I'm the good human again and she follows me around. So find something you both enjoy!


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## ally1h (Nov 27, 2012)

My Bentley's affection waxes and wanes, depending on who has spent the most time with him recently and who had the most fun with him recently. My fiancé and I both play with him, feed him, walk him, take him to parks.... My fiancé rough houses with him whereas I do not. I do a lot of the training. That said, Bentley (for some reason) likes to sleep on me and not my fiancé. But he likes to play with my fiancé a lot more. There are days that Bentley greets my fiancé like he hasn't seen him for years and when I come home I'm lucky to receive a tail wag let alone a lift of the head. Some days this is reversed.

Goldens are also VERY sensitive to our emotions. If your dog senses unease or any kind of negativity from you (ie: you feeling hurt that the dog doesn't like you) the dog will respond to it. Try being super happy and excited around your golden to get the attention. Try some fun training classes or classes for pure enjoyment (agility, nose work, etc) and see what happens.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Have you ever taken a training class with your dog, just YOU and not your boyfriend as the handler? A class where you learn to train your dog, teach him new things where you are solely in charge? If not, I highly recommend it. 

It may be that if you've worked very hard at being 100% positive in your training, never raising your voice etc. that you've taken it too far in the other direction and not been strict enough, or behaved as a strong leader. Try finding a good dog training club and sign up for a canine good citizen class and work on building your team, with you as the leader and you may be surprised at what it will do for your relationship.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Something I do for obedience training is make no mistake about it - I'm doing everything with the dogs from feeding, playing, walking, training, potty training, crate training, sleeping, hikes, swimming, grooming, all the obedience training etc.... <- This builds a very close bond with the dogs. Method of training doesn't matter necessarily as long as you are clear with the rewards, fair, and balanced. 

Other thing is meeting your dog halfway and understanding what they like and how they are. This is more than the excitement-greetings that your dog gives to visitor (it's a golden retriever job + visitors are EXCITING). This is talking to your dog and doing little things with your dog every day at the level that he doesn't get overwhelmed or stressed or "blowing you off". You know, even if you are the person that goes outside 10 times a day with him and sit there in the grass talking to him - this forms a nice comfortable relationship with some dogs.


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## Colie CVT (Sep 15, 2013)

I have to agree with Megora. The more that you do with your dog, the more that your dog looks to you. 

When I first got Myles as a puppy, there were times I was afraid that he'd try to leave with whatever new person came around. He was the social butterfly, the one who wanted to be everybody's friend. He always gives other people way more enthusiastic greetings than he does me, however he will stick the closest to me. Myles also comes everywhere with me, I've done all of his training. He has become the biggest momma's boy you can ever imagine. There's no doubt in anyone's mind who he belongs to.

Though if he hasn't seen me for a time, the only greeting I tend to get is him leaning in against my legs and sitting very close to me. Other people get a crazy full body wag, him nudging and nosing them for attention. Jumping with some people he knows he can get away with it from. He has no reason to get super excited to see his mommy. Mommy is always there. It's all his other friends who are the ones he doesn't get to see all the time!

Training classes with just you guys, working on tricks with just the two of you. Myles and I had our bond just grow so much when I was doing these little "train offs" with him when he was about 15-20ish months of age. Now at 3.5 years, I have a very well behaved and loving boy. No one ever doubts who he belongs to, even if everyone else gets a much happier greeting than I do.


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