# New 4 yo adopted golden keeping her distance when she doesnt want to do something...



## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

No advice, just bumping up for others to see.


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## lgnutah (Feb 26, 2007)

I wouldn't let her get in the situation where she has the opportunity NOT to come, in other words I would keep a leash on her and reward reward reward all good behavior (or approximations of good behavior). 

Keep treats in your pocket (you can even skip feeding regular meals, and feed the kibble piece by piece as rewards), and when she goes a little away from you, call her. If she doesn't come, pull the leash gently and show her a treat as you tell her to "come!", then reward with the treat and a whole lot of happy praise when she is next to you. You want her to associate good things with coming to you.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Since she is so new to you, I would keep her leashed anytime you are outside. Practice recall with treats and praise. Keeping her on a leash, even a long clothes line, means you can reinforce your command to come by bringing her to you. It won't happen immediately but it will eliminate the chase game.

Another thing you can do (while she's on the line) is to just walk up to her, give her a treat and a pat, then walk away. Let her know that good things happen when you are near her. She may begin to follow you just to stay near the treats. 

You can also practice this inside without the leash. Then when it is time to leash her up, she won't run from you. You'll use up a lot of treats for a while! lol

Always try to set her up for success. I hope it all works out for you.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

When we were working on recall with Remy we went to the hardware store and got a 50ft rope and a carabiner clip. Made a makeshift leash and made him drag it around EVERYWHERE. Throughout the day (indoor and out) we would call him and give a tug on the lead. If he didn't respond, a stronger pull. As soon as he got to us praise and treat, like they just did the best thing in the world! It took a couple weeks but you wouldn't imagine how fast he comes running now.


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## goldhaven (Sep 3, 2009)

First of all, I would never tell her to come unless it can be reinforced. So, yes, put a collar and long leash on her even in the house. The come command is one of the most important to teach. Get some high value treats and call her to you when she has the leash on. If she comes, praise like crazy and treat. If she doesn't pull the leash to you give a little tug but don't yank her to you. The object of the exercise is to make her want to come to you. Consider taking a training class with her. 
I am guessing that in her previous home that the come command may not have been a pleasant experience. It may take some time and patience to overcome that and gain her trust but it can be done. 
good luck and please post updates.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

She needs time, time to learn to trust you and to get to know you- her world has turned upside down -being rehomed is a huge upset for any dog. Do not let her outside without a leash or longline, for her safety. Start building that trust by handfeeding her meals, if she will not take food from your hand, just sit quietly in the same room, or nearby while she eats from her bowl. Offer her some treats from your hand, if she won't take them, toss them on the floor. You need to take the time to earn her trust, encourage it by rewarding her with yummy treats, make good things happen every time she comes close. It is possible that in her former home 'come' was not always a good thing, so you may have to use a different word and show her that coming to you is always a great idea but it takes time. If she is shying away from the leash - it may not be 'good news' to her either.
I have adopted several adult dogs, the first thing I did was work on earning their trust,-- hand feeding their meals, pockets full of treats always, so that anytime they came close I could offer them some, drop treats on the floor when I walked by and let them sleep in my bedroom. It took a little time,patience and understanding but so well worth the effort. 
Give her some time, don't expect too much all at once, she needs to get her feet on the ground, and learn that she will be safe and loved with you.


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## mamat (Apr 22, 2012)

Thanks for the great feed back everyone! Tonight was a wonderful night together. We didnt have her on a leash while we were playing outside, gardening etc but she stayed near and came often for pats and cuddles. I will get some good treats and work on keeping her on a leash when I can. 

I do notice that if I move to quickly, she tends to shy away...is that a sign of being hit? Her owner has obviously said nothing of the sort but i do wonder.


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

I read in another forum, probably the rescue forum, something like "the dog you first get is not the same dog you will have in 2 weeks, and not the same dog you will have in 6 months..." I adopted a 5 year old rescue golden last summer. It took time to build up trust because of 2 bad previous situations. In the very beginning, we weren't sure it was going to be a great match because of some behaviors we saw. Now that we have trust and a relationship with him, he is absolutely wonderful. It just takes time and it's definitely worth it!


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

It probably doesn't indicate being hit as much as it indicates not knowing what's going to happen next because she doesn't know you.

An indication of physical abuse would be head lowering, tail tucking, slinking away...trying to look small and submissive.

I agree that you won't recognize her as the same dog in a couple of weeks. Even 24 hours made a huge difference.

So happy that this is working so far!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

mamat said:


> This could be a make or break situation with this little angel who we have only had since yesterday morning. We have her for the week to decide if she fits and so far, things are great but when she doesnt want to do something...come inside, sees a leash, sees us about to leave etc she will run away about 20 feet and then just watch us. She wont come, wont go but the not coming is the issue. It cant become a chasing game because I know she will win, especially when we are on 2 acres of property! I praise her when she listens and try to coax her without raising my voice. She will come when she thinkgs we have forgottem about what we were going to do in the first place...should I be keeping her leashed until she knows how to listen? Or trusts us?
> 
> Any pointers would be great as my other 1 yo golden NEVER runs when she is told to come!


*I completely agree with the person that said she needs to be kept on a leash until she is trained and has TIME to get used to you and her new home.*


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## Aislinn (Nov 13, 2010)

I also agree to using a long line and using treats. She is unsure and needs some time. A week from now you'll probably be wondering why you even wondered about her.  Do keep us updated on how she does!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

mamat said:


> Thanks for the great feed back everyone! Tonight was a wonderful night together. We didnt have her on a leash while we were playing outside, gardening etc but she stayed near and came often for pats and cuddles. I will get some good treats and work on keeping her on a leash when I can.
> 
> I do notice that if I move to quickly, she tends to shy away...is that a sign of being hit? Her owner has obviously said nothing of the sort but i do wonder.


 
Her shying away leads me to believe that she might have been hit at some point in time during her life 

My Roxy is a former puppy mill momma, she had been both physically and verbally abused. When I first got her, if you walked by her, came up to her from behind, walked by her too quickly or any sudden movements, tried touching her, raised your hand or arm up, or spoke too loudly, she would run and hide. 

It took many months before she trusted us, felt safe, and realized we weren't going to hurt her. 

You are making great progress with your new girl, the more comfortable and relaxed she is with your family, the more progress you will see. The small issues you are having with her can be resolved easily, and you will have a great girl there, just be consistent, patient, and give her time to adjust.


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## mamat (Apr 22, 2012)

Glad to hear it! I dont see any signs of abuse and certainly not when I met the previous owner did I suspect anything. We will keep on it and I can't wait to see how she comes around over the next couple of weeks. She already seems comfortable. I didnt even lock her in the laundry room last night and she slept on her bed the entire time...oh, and when I went to bring her in last night, she was sleeping in the kennel! The very thing that she refused to have anything to do with on SUnday!


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

She does not know who you and your family are, and you have no idea what she has experienced. Thanks for rescuing, and I am sure in a few weeks, you will see another side of her.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Mamat*



mamat said:


> Glad to hear it! I dont see any signs of abuse and certainly not when I met the previous owner did I suspect anything. We will keep on it and I can't wait to see how she comes around over the next couple of weeks. She already seems comfortable. I didnt even lock her in the laundry room last night and she slept on her bed the entire time...oh, and when I went to bring her in last night, she was sleeping in the kennel! The very thing that she refused to have anything to do with on SUnday!


*Give her time-bless you for rescuing her. She will be so grateful to you!*
SOUNDS like she is making progress!!


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## GinnyinPA (Oct 31, 2010)

A while back I saw a video linked on this forum called, "How to teach your dog not to come." Among other situations, it showed someone calling their dog, chasing it around, then hitting it when they finally caught it. IOW, the dog learned that the Come command led to a beating. it is possible that your new pup had similar experiences. Some people use Here instead of Come when they know the dog was previously abused. It's also possible that your dog was taught Come Here, rather than Come and is just confused now by the meaning of your command. 

So now you need to teach your dog that come means good things, like treats, attention, walks, etc. Our trainer told us to always reward Come, since it is such an essential command. Until you have a rock solid response, keep her on a leash when she's outside. As you said, you don't want to be chasing her, and you also don't want to teach her that responding to Come is optional.


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## mamat (Apr 22, 2012)

Things were going pretty well...but the fighting has begun and it is really stressing me out! I trust my 1 yo 100% around the kids. You can put you hands in her mouth if she is eating, my 2 yo can grab at her face without risk of being snapped at, they can lay and wrestle with her. That is gone now that we have this fear of doggie number 2 showing aggression with Zyla. I know its still new but it I want to know if they will always have that competativeness that causes the fighting or will they get over it? The most recent event was this morning when the kids were out playing ball with the dogs. They got in a fight over a ball, with my 10 year old almost in the middle. and my other 3 kids close by. Not feeling hopeful at this time.


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## Braccarius (Sep 8, 2008)

I know this might sound really terrible but Zyla (even though she appears to be an innocent) is likely used to being the only show in town. She may feel threatened and be giving off pre-attack signals to your adoptee or showing an unusual amount of uncomfortableness making your adoptee react. If they are fighting over a ball... you should realize it takes two to go at it.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Penny's Mom said:


> .....
> 
> An indication of physical abuse would be head lowering, tail tucking, slinking away...trying to look small and submissive.
> 
> ....


Under-socialized pups can also act similarly..
Just finished working with a pup that displayed very similar behavior....she just didn't get off her property...and had limited contact with people.
She was able to turn around with plenty of routine and patience.


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## mamat (Apr 22, 2012)

Braccarius said:


> I know this might sound really terrible but Zyla (even though she appears to be an innocent) is likely used to being the only show in town. She may feel threatened and be giving off pre-attack signals to your adoptee or showing an unusual amount of uncomfortableness making your adoptee react. If they are fighting over a ball... you should realize it takes two to go at it.


I agree that yes it takes two but Zyla won't even attempt to chase a ball anymore if she knows she may be overun by her sidekick! Power struggles are certainly going to happen, I didn't believe that it wouldn't but they are happening wherever there is attention competition and unfortunately that is almost always in the presence of my kids. My 2 yo doesn't know how to move out of the way and I cannot risk her being Hurt. 

I don't doubt that Annie will be a perfect dog for a family...I just wish it was mine because I like her so much  she is such a sweetheart with the 
Most amazing vocal personality I have ever seen in any dog. She goes tomorrow morning.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

mamat said:


> I agree that yes it takes two but Zyla won't even attempt to chase a ball anymore if she knows she may be overun by her sidekick! Power struggles are certainly going to happen, I didn't believe that it wouldn't but they are happening wherever there is attention competition and unfortunately that is almost always in the presence of my kids. My 2 yo doesn't know how to move out of the way and I cannot risk her being Hurt.
> 
> I don't doubt that Annie will be a perfect dog for a family...I just wish it was mine because I like her so much  she is such a sweetheart with the
> Most amazing vocal personality I have ever seen in any dog. She goes tomorrow morning.


Skin babies must come before fur babies.

You made the right decision for your family.


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