# I miss you tonight, Peanut!



## marshab1 (Aug 28, 2006)

Stories like Peanut's make me appreciate even more how lucky I am that we made it to Tinkerbell's second birthday. 

We should not lose our babies at such young ages.

(((hugs)))


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## Jenny Wren (Feb 27, 2007)

Oh Heidi...I"m so sorry.... sometimes it feels unbearable, time will heal it some...hang in there.


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## daddysgirl (Feb 27, 2007)

Heidi36oh said:


> It's been 4 month since I lost you and it still hurts so much. I was going though a box of pictures and seen you're pretty, goofy face, just made me sad. Why you have to leave me so early in life, you had so much more in life to explore. RIP Sweet Baby!


thinking of you and Peanut tonight, Denise


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## Jazz & Jules (Feb 25, 2007)

What a beautiful girl!!!!!!! Warm hugs for you this evening Heidi.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Thank you all, it just hit's me sometimes. Such a short life for such a sweet girl.


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## Memphis & Holly's Mom (Feb 16, 2008)

What a gorgeous girl she was...she was way too young...wish she was still here with you...sending huggs your way


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Prayers and good wishes for you Heidi. I know it gets hard sometimes. Remember all the good times to help get thru the sadness.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

BeauShel said:


> Prayers and good wishes for you Heidi. I know it gets hard sometimes. Remember all the good times to help get thru the sadness.


Thanks Carole, it gets so hard looking at pictures. I know it will get better with time just miss her so much tonight


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## RileyStar (Mar 24, 2008)

*What a pretty girl! RIP Peanut you are missed!!!*​ 



Heidi36oh said:


> It's been 4 month since I lost you and it still hurts so much. I was going though a box of pictures and seen you're pretty, goofy face, just made me sad. Why you have to leave me so early in life, you had so much more in life to explore. RIP Sweet Baby!


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## AndyFarmer (Jul 9, 2007)

That was very sad about Peanut. I hope you still remember the wonderful times you had with her.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

AndyFarmer said:


> That was very sad about Peanut. I hope you still remember the wonderful times you had with her.


I do a lot, still hard to believe she is gone.


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## wabmorgan (May 6, 2008)

Heidi.... I am just so sorry. I am a loss for words... Peanut was so young. How sad. 

I lost my Jean-luc in January of 08. He was 17 years old. The only recourse I found was to get a new puppy. I was just so sad without him. I still miss my Jean-luc very much. 

Again... I am most sorry for you loss.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Sending you some hugs - said it before, saying it again, so very sorry for the loss of your girl.


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## Hudson (May 18, 2005)

Sorry you are feeling sad and missing your baby, the pain of losing them, never really leaves ... try to think of the happy times and I am sure she is watching over you.


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## maggie1951 (Apr 20, 2007)

I sure know how you feel Heidi and like other's have said we just need to remember the good times.


Maggie


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## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

She's never left you Heidi~she watches over you and your pack daily.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

I'm sorry you are feeling so blue right now. I hope her memory brings joy and peace as well.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Thanks all, I feel better today, I was going though my last box with pictures I had yesterday and lot's of them where my three amigos. I think that's what got me the most there is not three anymore.
Also unpacked the paw prints and memorial I had made, so all together a bad day. 
What made me smile, I put Peanut's and Spice's memorial's right over the top of my bed. Now they can watch over me:wave:


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## Blaireli (Jun 3, 2008)

Heidi...I know I haven't been on this forum very long, but I feel like I am getting to know you guys, so I hope you don't mind that I'm posting about this.  I'm very sorry about Peanut. I am sure she and Spice are both watching you from the bridge with all of the love in the world.

My grandmother passed away twelve years ago and left a poem for us to find after she had passed. It has really helped me with my grief over the years, so I thought maybe I would pass it along and perhaps it could help you, too.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints in the snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there. I did not die.


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## nellie'smom (Dec 27, 2007)

:wave:Glad to hear your better today. I know it's hard even when I see pictures sometimes, I cry
I wanted to mention, did you happen to notice the tounges? Sadie in your signature and Peanut in the bottom corner? I always said about Sadie's tounge, but now we know where she got it


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Blaireli said:


> Heidi...I know I haven't been on this forum very long, but I feel like I am getting to know you guys, so I hope you don't mind that I'm posting about this.  I'm very sorry about Peanut. I am sure she and Spice are both watching you from the bridge with all of the love in the world.
> 
> My grandmother passed away twelve years ago and left a poem for us to find after she had passed. It has really helped me with my grief over the years, so I thought maybe I would pass it along and perhaps it could help you, too.
> 
> ...


That's really a beautiful poem, thank you.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

nellie'smom said:


> :wave:Glad to hear your better today. I know it's hard even when I see pictures sometimes, I cry
> I wanted to mention, did you happen to notice the tounges? Sadie in your signature and Peanut in the bottom corner? I always said about Sadie's tounge, but now we know where she got it


OMG, never realized that. That's something


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## GoldenDaisy (Jul 16, 2007)

Those pictures of our sweet babies now at the bridge do make the tears flow like a river. I keep running into things I had for Daisy that were packed away and it always gives me a good cry. I feel for you, I know how hard it is to lose them young, my Daisy was only 3 when she left us. At least we have those beautiful pictures to remind us of how happy they were while with us and how lucky and blessed we are to have had them in our lives. Peanut is very special to you and she will always will be in your heart.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

GoldenDaisy said:


> Those pictures of our sweet babies now at the bridge do make the tears flow like a river. I keep running into things I had for Daisy that were packed away and it always gives me a good cry. I feel for you, I know how hard it is to lose them young, my Daisy was only 3 when she left us. At least we have those beautiful pictures to remind us of how happy they were while with us and how lucky and blessed we are to have had them in our lives. Peanut is very special to you and she will always will be in your heart.


I know it's not fair to loose them this young, and yes the pictures of her and the others make me happy and sad the same time.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I feel for you so Heidi. My Max died 9 years ago and I still cry just thinking of him.
Your Peanut was so beautiful and it isn't fair she was taken so young.

We read that poem at my mom's funeral.


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## MaddieMagoo (Aug 14, 2007)

Awww...it's ok Heidi...she still LOVES you! RIght now she is up there loking down on you, and wanting to know when you'll throw the ball for her...


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Heidi*

I know Peanut and Spice are waiting for you at the bridge.

It is so hard to lose a pet - we never have them long enough.

They know how much you loved and still love them.


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## colton (Jun 5, 2008)

I am new to this site but I think everyone who loves their dogs can sympathise with the grief you feel. On that note I would like to say it is so sad to read about your baby, even I have tears in my eyes.

We had to rehome our dogs when we immigrated 2 years ago and it feels just like they had died. It took me over a year before I would look at pictures of them or even discuss them with anyone. Every time my hubby took out the mower he would get tears in his eyes because our boy used to love chasing it.

I don't think it gets easier, just more manageable to bear.


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## Augie's Mom (Sep 28, 2007)

I don't think it gets easier, just more manageable to bear.[/quote]

Very true. 
Allow yourself time to grieve, 4 months is such a short time this is still very raw for you. Her memory will one day bring more smiles than tears.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Thanks to Blaireli, I now remember what it was they told me that day when she was put down. The diagnosis was Granulomatous Meningoencephalitis. Thank you so much Blair. That day back in February is just a blur and I could not remember what the diagnosis was until Blair's sister mentioned the name and it came right back to me.


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## MaddieMagoo (Aug 14, 2007)

Ok...I hate to bring this up Heidi. But what really is that big long word, mean? I'm not good with 'big words'...hehe.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

MaddieMagoo said:


> Ok...I hate to bring this up Heidi. But what really is that big long word, mean? I'm not good with 'big words'...hehe.


 
This is an idiopathic disease, meaning there is not really an inciting cause (there is no exposure to bacteria, viruses, drugs, toxins etc.). You get tons of inflammation of the spinal cord, brain, nerves, etc. In turn, this inflammation cause damage to the cells and then you get the secondary neurologic signs. There are three forms of the disease (focal - affecting one spot in particular, ocular - affects the optic nerves, and disseminated). My guess would be that this was the disseminated form, as this affects the brain stem, spinal cord and meninges, resulting in the same clinical signs that Peanut had.

This causes rapidly progressing neurologic signs and 25% of dogs in this category die within the first week. Usually, bloodwork and x-rays will be normal. Treatment is usually with high doses of prednisone and, if they survive long enough, chemotherapy is usually needed. If they do respond, most dogs will relapse within a couple months and, at that time, don't usually respond to the chemo. I think that, a lot of times, by the time the dogs reach the neurologist, they have progressed so far that they don't do well. I have seen a couple of dogs that were suspected of having GME. One, in particular, was a chocolate Lab that ended up going to MedVet because she got so bad within about 48 hours...I think she passed away before she could be euthanized.


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## amazonb (Feb 23, 2008)

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Peanut. SHe is gorgeous!!
I just lost my beautiful girl 4 days ago to Hemangiosarcoma at the age of 13 1/2. I am so sorry that she passed away, I know the pain all too well.
I admire you for getting the word out about this condition. It seems unfortunately that these gorgeous animals are afflicted with more and more awful conditions.
I would never have expected my beautiful girl to get cancer in her face/mouth. 
Take care and continue to heal all the while remembering the laughter she gave you each and every day.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

amazonb said:


> I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Peanut. SHe is gorgeous!!
> I just lost my beautiful girl 4 days ago to Hemangiosarcoma at the age of 13 1/2. I am so sorry that she passed away, I know the pain all too well.
> I admire you for getting the word out about this condition. It seems unfortunately that these gorgeous animals are afflicted with more and more awful conditions.
> I would never have expected my beautiful girl to get cancer in her face/mouth.
> Take care and continue to heal all the while remembering the laughter she gave you each and every day.


I'm sorry for you're loss too, I read you're thread. They are all beautiful and loyal companions and friends. It's hard to let go but it does get easier.


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## gggirl (May 8, 2008)

I read all these posts and they make me so sad. Most of them are when they are in their golden years but some like this one is just way too young! I'm very sorry. It goes to show that you never know. My pup is 8 months old but you never know. Reading these threads make you throw that ball for them just one more time even though you have had enough!! Or not worrying about all the hair on your bed after they have slept with you all night!! It doesn't matter............


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Ggirl*

Ggirl:

You are so right and that holds TRUE for humans, too!!
So far Ken and I have been lucky to have our dogs into their Golden Years and then have to decide to set them free from pain.

I REALLY FEEL for what Heidi has been through.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Karen519 said:


> Ggirl:
> 
> You are so right and that holds TRUE for humans, too!!
> So far Ken and I have been lucky to have our dogs into their Golden Years and then have to decide to set them free from pain.
> ...


Thanks Karen, at least we know we done everything possible. Makes me feel a lot better.


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## DebS (Jun 10, 2008)

Heidi, I am so sorry for you. I understand. My beautiful 15 year old Jack died on Saturday morning and I am so completely lost, I can hardly stand it. I hate walking through the door and he's not waiting for me. The pain is unbearable. I guess that's the price you pay for loving them that much. It never matters how long you have them, it's never long enough. I will pray for you. One broken heart to another.


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