# Tough question



## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

I need to get something off my chest. Thought maybe this might be the best section of the forum to do so.

My dear friend has a 10.5 year old Flatcoat just starting to have mobility problems. We had a conversation one day about end of life concerning our dogs during a walk/swim. This is his first dog for him and his wife as adults.

I mentioned how cancer can take a dog so fast. He would rather his dog go fast and not deal with the senior issues. I get that and I would want myself to go quick too, but I have pain on a daily basis and still find life fulfilling.

May seem odd but I would rather nurture a dog with issues while they continue to have a quality of life. To me it lessens the blow a bit when their time comes.

I lost my first girl within 48hrs. Myasthenia gravis was being treated without much success and then she wound up with pneumonia. No real hopeful prognosis to return to a quality of life. It shocked me big time, had a hard time dealing. Tucker was much more gradual. That was hard too, but I had the chance to realize time drew near for him.

I respect my friends opinion, but don't think he knows just how crushing it can be losing a dog fast with not much if any warning.

I just finished taking care of a few seniors for another friend for 10 days. One is a blind and deaf 16yr old and her wagging tail never quit. Another 12 yr old with wonky hips on low dose NSAID's but loving life.

What are your personal thought about you and yours? Is it selfish to want that extra time?


----------



## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Whew, that is a tough question to which there is no right or wrong answer, only opinions.
For myself, I would want the time to nurture and continue to enjoy the dog as I did with Toby. 
But for the dog's sake, I would want him to go very, very fast.


----------



## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

and another thought....the best of all possible worlds is for them to live long enough, like my Tiny at 15-1/2, that you know the end is near and you realize it, and make mental adjustments, and love and enjoy them as much as you can.
THEN to have them go quickly.


----------



## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

We lost two old goldens to cancer. The small comfort we had was the fact that we didn't have to make a hard choice to put either of them down because they couldn't walk or see or hear anymore and the quality of life for them was nonexistent. 

That's not at all what goes through your head right then and there or even shortly after you've lost a dog to cancer or something else.

Our first golden lived 6 months after we got the bad news from our vet about him being down to one kidney (the other kidney was shriveled up and dead). Those 6 months were more time with him. And they were hell for all of us. The last month especially. 

I've said before that if we were to do a do-over, we would have put him to sleep that same day we got the phone call. 

Then again, when we were there in ultrasound lab with our vet and she was showing us Danny's spleen with the melon sized tumor and describing to us what his spleen _should_ look like... 

We knew the odds of him surviving after surgery. Our vet was very blunt when it came to describing how much time we'd have (2-6 months). Less, as we told her straight out that chemo wasn't an option. We just wanted the tumor out and a few more weeks with him. She was very blunt when it came to describing the recovery process and everything we'd have to do, the illnesses and diseases that we might be dealing with because of his impact removing his spleen would have on his body. 

And we had that surgery done - that same day. He died from a blood clot the next morning and in hindsight... I don't think that the surgery was the best decision for him. He would have suffered quite a lot in the week(s) we were buying for him. And his quality of life was already impacted because his elbows had always been bad and his hips were starting to go. 

I guess what I'm saying is... I think you need to keep in mind that talk is just talk until you are right there and have to make a decision. And then you have grief and regret whichever way.


----------



## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Great title!

I am already preparing for 'the day' and it breaks my heart to know it's coming. Even tho she's perfectly healthy, bouncing off the walls with the kids, spinning in circles at the mention of go bye bye in the car!

I also wrestle with the wisdom of treatments that prolong but don't cure. 

Our first Golden Polly has recurring abdominal edema which we had drained off. The vet said probably liver cancer at age 6. I weighed the cost of tests vs. opening her up and taking a look. I opted for exploratory surgery. The vet wanted to know "if it's terminal, do you want her euthanized on the table?" I said no, she won't be any sicker tonight that she was this morning. The diagnosis was terminal liver cancer with one to three weeks to live. We were stunned and heartbroken. I started feeding her hamburger, rice and vegetables. Long story short, she lived another 8 years having the edema ONLY when we tried to put her back on kibble. Some sort of allergy to any kind of kibble. I cooked her food every Saturday for the next 8 and 1/2 years. She died at 14 1/2 of 'old age'. 

Penny started having mobility problems 2 years ago...hesitant to jump into the car or onto the couch. Her supplements put the bounce back in her step. I sure didn't think about putting her sleep. 

We don't know what's in store for us but I believe in my heart that she will tell us what to do. I'm glad we had 8 1/2 years more with Polly simply because I waited for her to tell me.


----------



## FeatherRiverSam (Aug 7, 2009)

That is a tough question but Steve I think it's one we can only answer for ourselves. I think everyone has different idea's when the time is right or perhaps better stated when the time has come.

I agree with you so long as I'm getting the tail wag and that reasuring look in the eye I'll do what ever I can to give them the quality of life they so richly deserve.

I've never had a dog go quickly on me, there's always been time to prepare. I can't imagine what that must be like with absolutely no time to prepare. With all our dogs except one we were able to prepare. That one was a runaway and it wasn't until a month later that we learned of her passing.

I asked that of myself almost everyday with my bridge girl Sammie, am I being selfish not letting her go? I've told this story before...at one point I had scheduled an appointment to let her go...I thought the time had come. On the way into the vet I stopped by our lake where we had spent so much time together to say goodbye. When we reached the lake she stood up ears cocked and tail wagging and that wonderful look of life in her eyes. I canceled the appointment and took her home. It wasn't for another 3 months that the time had finally come. I don't regret for even one minute having delayed letting her go.

I promised her and myself I wouldn't let her suffer needlessly...and I kept that promise...and yes I miss her terribly...but in my heart I know I did right.

So long as that quality of life is present no I don't think it's selfish. 
We all live with some kind of pain if we live long enough and like you've said still find life fulfilling.

Pete


----------



## brens29 (Apr 17, 2012)

Wow tough question, my first golden Brandy was 6 when she was suddenly taken from us, hit by a car and was gone instantly, I mourned for her for years, I still have tears in my eyes when I think about her, that was 10 years ago. I think the hardest part was I never got to say good-by and tell her how much I loved her. 

Now Cassie age 10 was my golden I got about 2 weeks after Brandy died, passed away in Feb of this year due to cancer in her hind leg we found out the end of December that she had cancer and we knew that we found it late and there was nothing we could do. So we spoiled her rotten, and spent every day with her like it was her last. The hard part was seeing her getting fragile before our eyes. Knowing there was nothing we could do to help, that was hard. 

I feel like it was much easier for me to come to the realization that I would loose Cassie it was hard to see her go from healthy to fragile but she never seemed to be sad about the way she felt she was just happy to be part of the family and loved, that's just what dogs do, they love us more then they love themselves.


----------



## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

Since I left home and have been resposnible, I've had two dogs pass. Both went very, very suddenly. Our first dog had had one or two spells that the vet thought were most likely epilepsy. Otherwise she seemed perfectly healthy. We dropped her off at our kennel to head out for a long weekend. One hour later, the kennel owner called and said our dog had just dropped dead. Complete shock. She was 6 years old.

The second was Bruce. From the start of his illness to our being told there was no hope, was less than 7 days. In which time he did not eat at all and started to lose mobility. All he wanted to do was lay in his crate. It was very obvious that he was in pain and suffering and no longer interested in living. Again...complete shock.

It is really hard to have such a sudden, inexplicable loss. But you know, I've said many times that I'm grateful that I've never had to make those hard decisions of how much is too much, and how long to continue treatments.

I agree though, with the previous poster who said the best would be to have the dog live a nice, long, full life....and then go suddenly.
Any way you cut it, it's not easy. I just don't know how I would handle a prolonged illness with multiple treatment decisions.


----------



## FeatherRiverSam (Aug 7, 2009)

brens29 said:


> ...they love us more then they love themselves.


This is so true...

Pete


----------



## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

GoldenCamper said:


> I need to get something off my chest. Thought maybe this might be the best section of the forum to do so.
> 
> My dear friend has a 10.5 year old Flatcoat just starting to have mobility problems. We had a conversation one day about end of life concerning our dogs during a walk/swim. This is his first dog for him and his wife as adults.
> 
> ...


Not selfish at all, since I just went through this. Cheyenne, our 15 year old Aussie/BC, was the most energetic dog until the day before Christmas this year. She was just off. Two days after we took her to the vet with what we thought might have been vestibular. Long story short she had a brain tumor. It affected her balance which was so sad as up until then she was so active, running after squirrels in the yard. Our TCM vet tried his best to give us some extra time, but we lost her in the end of February. I would have done anything if her quality of life would have been good, but it wasn’t. That is where the line is for me. *Their* quality of life is the most important thing.


----------



## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

I lost Savanah within 19 hours of her first symptoms. She was a happy, playful 11 year old when I left for work and by 6 that evening, she was lethargic and tired to the point of barely being able to get up. I lost her that next afternoon.

I was devastated. Still am...I'll _never_ get over not being able to say goodbye.  I let her go on the operating table. Although it was much better for her to not have suffered, I'm selfish in that I would have loved to have her with me to prepare myself. But again, I will be forever grateful that she didn't feel pain and up until her last hours, she was playing with Chance and enjoying life.


----------



## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

I was recently at a park with Jess and we met a lady with a 16 yr old aussie. The dog, a former rescue, was blind in one eye and had some obvious mobility issues. While the other dogs played the owner sat on a bench and cuddled her on her lap. Both looked blissfully happy.


----------



## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I can only answer for me, and that answer is I was much more devastated to lose my senior dog suddenly, on the operating table due to hemangiosarcoma, than I was to make the decision to release a dog after battling hemangiosarcoma for several months. We left the surgical center that morning fully expecting to see our boy Beau again that night and I can still hardly bear to remember the phone call from the surgeon telling us he felt we should let him go and not wake him up from the surgery. In addition to intense grief of losing a family member of 13 1/2 years, we had to deal with the shock of the loss so suddenly, and the grief over not being there as he drew his final breath and crossed over. It's been 8 years and it still makes me tear up knowing we weren't there in the end. 

It was very difficult to go through that second splenectomy and I remember driving him down to the clinic in tears and crying almost uncontrollably as I left him there--wondering if we were going to get that dreaded call. We didn't and both of us vowed to make each and every day we had with him after he came home as memorable and special as we could. We lived up to that vow and those days, while bittersweet, helped prepare us for what was to come. Deciding when he should cross the Bridge was very gut wrenching and seeing his quality of life plummet so quickly was extremely difficult, but after the intense feelings of grief and loss subsided, I knew it was a blessing that we had that extra time. Of course it wasn't long enough, but we were so fortunate to have the time we did.

Given the choice, I'd opt for dealing with all those senior issues any day over a sudden and unexpected loss.


----------



## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

I hated knowing that Beau's days were drawing to an end because of his osteosarcoma. I hated the stress and worry that he might be in pain and I was missing it or that his leg would suddenly break. But...I loved that I learned to cherish even the smallest of moments just because....

My friend lost her 8 year old Golden suddenly. She woke up in the morning to find that her beloved Golden would never wake up again. It may have been easier on the dog but I know that my friend was robbed of the time that is needed to grieve as we gradually know the time may be nearing as our Goldens age or have a progressive disease process.

There is never a good way to have to say good-bye and I hope my aging Baylee has many more years ahead. Beau left me a legacy that taught me a valuable message to enjoy and to cherish and to notice the special moments we have with them.


----------



## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I agree there is no right or wrong answer and everyone may feel differently.

Obviously it's never easy. I personally would rather know what was coming than have it come as a shock. I've lost 3 pets in the last year. 2 cats, both 17yrs old. The first cat was a complete shock, I lost her in 24 hours of realizing something was wrong. The second cat had cancer for 4 months, but was just declared in remission before having acute breathing problems which turned out to be a chylothorax most likely from an undiagnosed heart tumor. And my sweet sweet Bear, who was diagnosed 2 months before I made the decision to let her go. I don't know I'd say 1 was harder than the others, but with the cats I was caught unprepared (Calypso's cancer was never thought to be terminal), and with Bear I had 2 months to say goodbye, but it didn't make that day any easier. For her it was especially hard because she was still a happy dog, she was in just so much pain when the hemangio spread to the bone. For her her body gave out while her spirit was still good. I almost changed my mind at the vet, but I was more upset seeing her in so much pain than at the idea of being without her. I guess in hindsight, a quick loss saves you from time spent anticipating what is coming (which is very hard also), but a quick loss also robs you of having time to say goodbye.

I guess the same applies to people. I lost my dad to lung cancer 11 years ago. We had 9 months with him after diagnosis-we knew from the very start that we had less than 1 year with him. On one hand it was good because we had time to say goodbye and nothing was left unsaid. We all knew exactly what we meant to eachother. On the otherhand, it was a very very long 9 months of a rollercoaster ride. It was very hard because your life is basically put on hold waiting for the inevitable to happen. But I wouldn't trade those last 9 months for anything. 
I had some very good friends that lost their mother to cancer about the time that my dad died. They didn't have that time. She was diagnosed about 1 week before she died so they were still processing what was going on when she died and never had a chance to come to terms with it. They didn't have the long drawn out rollercoaster ride (which is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting) but they also didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye either.


----------



## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Oh boy - tough question. I know for me that when we lost Kelly, Ralph & Holly we were in the back of our minds expecting the loss because they had been having vet treatment for their illnesses- but that still did not lessen the pain we felt when letting them go. But Ginny was the hardest of all - we left her at the emergency vet and had even had a phone call from them to say all the tests were ok and we could pick her up in the morning - we went to collect her and she could hardly walk, we took her straight to our vet who said she had internal bleeding and her organs were shutting down, in the matter of minutes we were absolutely devestated. What hurts the most is that she spent her final night on this earth in a kennel at the vets - if I had known then what I know now I would never have taken her there.

There is no easy answer - but at the end of the day it is their quality of life that is the important thing, and every dog is different. It is us that have to find the strength to let them go when we know that the time is right for them and not us


----------



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

It's never easy whenever you have to make the decision to let your dog go regardless of what the circumstances are. It's acutally the worst thing I've ever had to do. 

I had two dogs that had irreverseable damage due to strokes very unexpectedly and had to be euthanized immediately. I had a dog where her body was shutting down, while I was waiting for the Vet to come to my house, she passed on her own. I had to let another one go due to cancer. 

My boy that I had to let go on Feb.18, 2011 at the age of 15.5 had cancer. He had been in Hospice care basically the last year of his life and was doing great up until the first part of Feb.when he started going down hill very quickly. He had a very good quality of life up until that time. He had some mobility problems, but my DH made a ramp for him so he could get up and down the 4 stairs in our house. We helped him in and out of the car whenever we went somewhere. He enjoyed being outside, taking short walks. 

I feel if they still have a good quality of life, aren't in pain or suffering, eating good, you still have a lot of time to enjoy them and each day you have is a very special gift. 

It is a decision that each person has to make for themselves though.


----------



## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Every situation must be looked at individually. For me, it is e_ntirely_ about none of my dogs ever losing dignity, or suffering needlessly, due to my selfishness. I _never_ want any of them to leave, but in my heart I believe that allowing them to go without loss of dignity or quality of life is the greatest gift of love that I can ever give them.


----------



## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Thanks to all for responding, I appreciate it. It is hard either way but I think a sudden loss is that much more devastating. One is left with more what if's or what could have been questions I think. Their quality of life is paramount to me, I won't hold on for my own sake, no way.

My friend saw what I went through with Tucker, maybe that is why he would rather his dog go quick. The solemn look in his eyes not seeing his dog doing the things he used to as a younger dog to I can relate to. His words just really caught me by surprise.


----------



## Selli-Belle (Jan 28, 2009)

Any way you lose your pet sucks! I went through it this past Monday with a friend who lost her 11 yo Golden who I have known since she was a puppy. The poor girl did not have much quality of life left although her human did not have a firm diagnosis of what was wrong with her. My friend was traumatized by the idea that she may have waited too long, but I don't believe so and McGill was able to leave this world on a high point. I also think we need to forgive ourselves if we do hold onto them longer than we should. We are not perfect and turning out the lights on such wonderful creatures IS the hardest thing we will ever do. We all know the dog themselves would understand and insist we forgive ourselves.


----------



## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

One thing I was determined with Beau, when I knew his days were limited by his cancer, was that I would not wait until the eager glow in his eyes diminished due to too much pain or suffering. I am glad that I did not wait until his pain or suffering was intolerable. I was able to enjoy quality in his final days and my last memories of him are not of a suffering Beau. 
As hard as that was, I know the time was right when I said good-bye.

I had a Golden girl, Cassie, who was 14.5, when she suddenly became ill and her life ended suddenly in my living room. Even though she lived to a great old age, she suffered, and that memory remains vivid and ugly to this day. I am hoping that is an experience that I never have to repeat. 

I will live by the saying "better a day too soon than a day too late".


----------



## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I have considered whether to respond to this thread or not. There is no right or wrong answer, and I have lost dogs suddenly as well as slowly.

I am an animal communicator. I rarely use this skill but I frequently ask my mentors for sessions. That said, dogs do not see ‘death’ as an ending, but rather a transition. With this background and my beliefs, I will release my dogs before they reach the point of pain or disease that I cannot make better or for them hanging on to life because I cannot let them go.

When my Rowdy died (in my arms), I still remember the pain and strength it took to wave the techs away as they rushed in to resuscitate him – he had no chance of recovery at that point from aspiration pneumonia, he had already been resuscitated, they could not get his temperature down or keep his lungs clear - he had 3 oxygen hoses to his nose and mouth by that time. His life ended with me cradling him, while the techs, surgeons and vets surrounded and hugged me as I sat on the floor with my Rowdy in my lap. The sudden silence of all the monitors was only matched by the peace on his face as he left.

With King, it was an exploratory surgery that discovered a liver destroyed by cancer – he was not allowed to wake up. There was no doubt in my mind, and I remember my vet coming on the phone after I gave my okay to euthanize to tell me it was the right choice. Even as I rushed to the clinic (it was a multi day/multi vet experience with my vet giving every possible option a try before the surgery), my vet and his assistants were preparing my boy for my goodbye – a wreath of flowers over his collar which was draped over him and the sheet that covered all but his head. My lovely King, he looked so very peaceful. 

With Earl, it was a long lingering decline; no disease, just old age. That was honestly the hardest decision because he was still happy but only because he was senile (yes, and on medication for it) by that point. Deaf, blind, arthritic, senile and losing control of elimination .. but … his quality of life was the deciding factor. He was a shadow of himself and deserved no less than release.

Other pets, both dogs & cats, each with their own story and yet it is Earl whose decision was the hardest.

Better a day too soon, that an hour too late is how I need to make the decision. While I understand and honor other people’s decisions, it is my dogs quality of life and/or chance of recovery that drives my decisions.


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sunrise*

I agree with everything Sunrise said-I'd much rather be a week too early than a day too late.

Ken and I lost both our Smooch and Snobear very quickly-Smooch within two weeks and Snobear almost overnight, and though it was a shock for us, we were happy for them, that they did not have a very long illness and alot of pain. We also went by the quality of life.


----------



## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

Sunrise said:


> Better a day too soon, that an hour too late ...





Karen519 said:


> I'd much rather be a week too early than a day too late.


I agree 100%. For me, this will always be the determining factor when faced with the most heart wrenching decision we make when we choose to share our lives with pets.


----------



## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

Its so hard either way. My Tess never had a sick day in her life, then died within days of suddenly being diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma. My Rusty had been pretty frail for a long time, from one thing or another, so when his lung collapsed last October I was still stunned but not surprised. I still wonder today if the day Tess died whether I could have bought her some more time, they had said they might be able to tap the fluid around her heart, but I chose to euthanize her. I think I always will have some guilt about that. But with my Rusty, there was no doubt what to do. In some ways he made the decision easier for me. I miss them both so terribly.


----------



## debra1704 (Feb 22, 2012)

Our Bessie's end was the same as Sunrise's Earl- long and lingering, not due to disease, just age (16), and it was SO hard. The end is never easy.


----------



## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

It is such an individual decision. The beagle I rescued in vet school lived to be 17. Even on her best day, she was barely house trained. When she reached an advanced age, she had no issues urinating and defecating in the house. She went from a dog that had free range of the house to a kitchen dog. Daily she would urinate and defecate in the house, then fall in it. Daily, I was bathing her, which she hated. She was so arthritic, then when you helped her into the car, she would turn around to bite us. It took me months to decide it was time. She didn't have cancer or kidney failure, but she just wasn't functioning... There was a lot of guilt. After I euthanized her, my husband said to me,"I know we waited too long, because I am not that sad".

My heart dog, Sally, died one month after we knew something was wrong with her. She ended up having a cardiac hemangiosarcoma. There was never a moment in her life that she became "inconvenient"(for lack of a better word). She has been gone since 4/9/02 and I still miss her every day.

My second golden, Laney was another special dog. Came home one Sunday after going to my son's soccer game and found her collapsed on my kitchen floor, unconscious. Long story, short, I was in the parking lot of the specialist who was going to ultrasound her, she jumped out my car and collapsed. I carried her inside, for the ultrasound which was purely academic. The only thing still working on her was her wagging tail. With a splenectomy she would've lived two more months. With a splenectomy and chemo, six more months. I sadly had to let my friend go. It just didn't make sense.

And then my Cookie Monster. She got sick on a Sunday and was euthanized by Thursday. Still don't know what from..no cancer in the abdomen or chest. But she was clearly in severe pain and severely anemic. I still miss her so much...

About Laney, one of my clients said to me,"Think of it this way, she only had one bad day on her life.". I miss my first three Goldens so much because they they gave so much. Can't say the same for the beagle.


----------



## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I've lost dogs and cats both quickly and over time.

Copper seemed happy to me right up to the end although I wonder if I missed some signs. I'm glad he just basically collapsed and I had to let him go immediately with no chance to try to keep him here, but I do feel we bonded more and had many, many good times right up to the end. I think it helps that his passing was so peaceful and he was so happy with his Arby's sandwich DH brought to the vet's. I wish we had gotten him a bag full.

With my horse I had no idea what the vet meant when he told me there was a foul line on his gums and he had only a 3% chance. Knowing now what I didn't know then, I would have chosen to let him go sooner although thank god he was at the vet's and they could give him the final shot within 5 minutes of him lying down at my feet and letting me know it was time.

so, in my experience the longer good-bye was better if not necessarily easier.


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I've come back to this thread many times since Camper started it. Unfortunately it hit very close to my heart right now. We have to let our boy go to the bridge tomorrow. We actually believed that he would make it to his 15th Birthday in October. That is not meant to be. He has been declining for several months. Now, there just isn't any choice, as allowing him to suffer is not a feasiable option. We've lost a few goldens and in past kitties. I think that whatever way, it is heart wrenching. All losses were excruciating. Now with facing the loss of our beloved Max (our last), just can't imagine life without him. I believe that it is ultimately our choice about how to set them free. With their love in our hearts, we try our best to make the best decision for them. We are only human, and that is far from being perfect as our beloved goldies. I absolutely agree, 14 3/4s, 17 or any age the end is NEVER EASY.


----------



## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

I look at quality of life over quantity if life for mine. Do they still find pleasure and do the things the hold dear and value? Each animal is different. 

Lucky would have crumbled if he could not play ball- Ball was his life as was food but he valued ball above all else. He died suddenly- Was playing ball 12 hrs before he was put onto an operating table because his spleen was ruptured- Found out when the opened him up he had a football sized tumor in his liver and it had spread to his spleen and other organs. Could I have had been woken up?- Yes but would it have been fair to him? No! When I okayed the surgery I had no idea he had cancer and would be gone within a few months. He never would have fully recovered and it could have been selfish of me- IMO to make him.

Zoey was a gentle soul who ended up with Renal Failure from tainted Jerky treats- I could have had taken her for dialysis but it would have met hours tied to a table or in a cage at a vets office- A place she hated. It would not have been right to do to her. The night she lost her dignity was the end for her. If she had survived the night she would have been put to sleep when the vet opened. She was born and died in my arms.

My first cat, Patches, loved nothing more than to perch up high. She threw a clot to her back legs one day and was paralyzed. Could I have made her a wheelly cat? Yes but she would have never been able go perch up and look down on her subjects. It would not have been fair to her- IMO.

My mothers, Bichon, had liver cancer but started to have accidents in the house. The fact he pottied in the house would make him shake for hours afterwards- He was not happy so we let him go over the Rainbow bridge.

I has many other examples but am crying to hard now to think clearly.


----------



## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

PrincessDi said:


> I've come back to this thread many times since Camper started it. Unfortunately it hit very close to my heart right now. We have to let our boy go to the bridge tomorrow. We actually believed that he would make it to his 15th Birthday in October. That is not meant to be. He has been declining for several months. Now, there just isn't any choice, as allowing him to suffer is not a feasiable option. We've lost a few goldens and in past kitties. I think that whatever way, it is heart wrenching. All losses were excruciating. Now with facing the loss of our beloved Max (our last), just can't imagine life without him. I believe that it is ultimately our choice about how to set them free. With their love in our hearts, we try our best to make the best decision for them. We are only human, and that is far from being perfect as our beloved goldies. I absolutely agree, 14 3/4s, 17 or any age the end is NEVER EASY.


I am just seeing this-- I am so sorry you must say good bye to Max today. HUGS....


----------



## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

PrincessDi said:


> I've come back to this thread many times since Camper started it. Unfortunately it hit very close to my heart right now. We have to let our boy go to the bridge tomorrow. We actually believed that he would make it to his 15th Birthday in October. That is not meant to be. He has been declining for several months. Now, there just isn't any choice, as allowing him to suffer is not a feasiable option. We've lost a few goldens and in past kitties. I think that whatever way, it is heart wrenching. All losses were excruciating. Now with facing the loss of our beloved Max (our last), just can't imagine life without him. I believe that it is ultimately our choice about how to set them free. With their love in our hearts, we try our best to make the best decision for them. We are only human, and that is far from being perfect as our beloved goldies. I absolutely agree, 14 3/4s, 17 or any age the end is NEVER EASY.


 
I'm so sorry to read this.  My heart goes out to you.

But I do agree ith everything you say about losing them. I have come back to this thread and read everyone's answers and thought about it myself. It's a topic I just can't even stand to think about when it comes to my Tesia. But one phrase from GoldenCamper's original post stands out to me... "I would rather nurture a dog with issues while they continue to have a quality of life." I think this sums up how I feel about Tee. I will be there for her and care for her for as long as she graces me with her presence - for as long as she is not suffering. But nothing will make saying good bye to her bearable or okay. I think that's why I have had a hard time answering this thread. But it has made me think a lot and I've appreciated reading the answers.


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Thanks so much for everyone's thoughts. We've been pretty private about this until just now. We knew that Max has been rapidly declining. We've had multiple blood panels, had complete xrays and ultra sounds in March. All 100% clean. Then his appetitie has been declining. We found out that he had a 4 grade murmur 3 weeks ago, but last Thursday ran the xrays and ultra sounds. He has 3 masses (liver, behind stomach, rear right leg (hemangio suspected). He has been in more pain than we knew. Were waiting for his regular vet to get back from vacation today. Our appointment is at 5:00 est today. It is not fair to keep him here. He doesn't want to eat, can't even walk well to chase his ball. Very hard decision, but I feel in my heart it is time.



Sweet Girl said:


> I'm so sorry to read this.  My heart goes out to you.
> 
> But I do agree ith everything you say about losing them. I have come back to this thread and read everyone's answers and thought about it myself. It's a topic I just can't even stand to think about when it comes to my Tesia. But one phrase from GoldenCamper's original post stands out to me... "I would rather nurture a dog with issues while they continue to have a quality of life." I think this sums up how I feel about Tee. I will be there for her and care for her for as long as she graces me with her presence - for as long as she is not suffering. But nothing will make saying good bye to her bearable or okay. I think that's why I have had a hard time answering this thread. But it has made me think a lot and I've appreciated reading the answers.


----------



## *Laura* (Dec 13, 2011)

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

PrincessDi said:


> Thanks so much for everyone's thoughts. We've been pretty private about this until just now. We knew that Max has been rapidly declining. We've had multiple blood panels, had complete xrays and ultra sounds in March. All 100% clean. Then his appetitie has been declining. We found out that he had a 4 grade murmur 3 weeks ago, but last Thursday ran the xrays and ultra sounds. He has 3 masses (liver, behind stomach, rear right leg (hemangio suspected). He has been in more pain than we knew. Were waiting for his regular vet to get back from vacation today. Our appointment is at 5:00 est today. It is not fair to keep him here. He doesn't want to eat, can't even walk well to chase his ball. Very hard decision, but I feel in my heart it is time.


I am very sorry, I am thinking of Max and you today and praying. I just cant believe all it happened within just 4 months. I think if I did not read so many stories like yours I would never stop with those if's analyzing how far back it started and I did not see it. I was going back years into the past trying to remember every single details thinking I might miss some signs.
Hugs to you and Max.
God bless.


----------



## Laurie (Sep 20, 2009)

I'm so sorry you have to say good-bye to Max. My heart goes out to you.

Wishing Max a safe and peaceful journey to Rainbow Bridge.

Hugs.....


----------



## Duke's Momma (Mar 1, 2007)

Run free, sweet Max. I'm so sorry. You're right, whatever age, it's never ever easy. Never enough time.


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*PrincessDi*



PrincessDi said:


> I've come back to this thread many times since Camper started it. Unfortunately it hit very close to my heart right now. We have to let our boy go to the bridge tomorrow. We actually believed that he would make it to his 15th Birthday in October. That is not meant to be. He has been declining for several months. Now, there just isn't any choice, as allowing him to suffer is not a feasiable option. We've lost a few goldens and in past kitties. I think that whatever way, it is heart wrenching. All losses were excruciating. Now with facing the loss of our beloved Max (our last), just can't imagine life without him. I believe that it is ultimately our choice about how to set them free. With their love in our hearts, we try our best to make the best decision for them. We are only human, and that is far from being perfect as our beloved goldies. I absolutely agree, 14 3/4s, 17 or any age the end is NEVER EASY.


Princess DI

I am so very, very, sorry! Let me know if I can do anything!M
Di and my Smooch and Snobear will take care of Max!


----------



## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

I am so sorry to read this that you must let Max free. If that's what your heart is telling you to do then you are doing the right thing by Max. It's so incredibly tough to have to make that decision. You've given him a wonderful life and he will always be with you. Wishing Max a peaceful and safe journey to rainbow bridge, and I know that Daisy will be there to greet him for you and to look after him. Sending lots of prayers your way.


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

So, we weren't able to set Max free today. It just wasn't the day. He had started eating yesterday and was actually a piggy today. We've had morphine syringes that the vet had sent home with us on Thursday. They had given him one Thursday morning and told me to give him another one that night. He hadn't seemed like he was in pain. He wouldn't eat while he was on it. SM, wise and wonderful lady that she is, told me not to use it unless we could tell he was in pain. He really doesn't seem to be. The vet thought today that he isn't yet in pain. 

The plan (unless his condition deteriates-stops eating or is in pain) is that we will do it Friday. His spleen looks good and also his lungs look clean, but he has a mass behind his stomach. A hemangio (which of the 3 kinds they don't know) inside the upper part of his left back leg. When that one is aspirated it's all blood. His liver is very mottled and though there isn't a definite shot, they believe that there may be a growth there. He has had a 1 grad heart murmur since he was 2. Many times the vet (they would always check over the years) they couldn't even detect it. In the past 2 months it had went to a 3-4. The vet thinks it is likely that he has hemangio on his heart as well. All of this has happened since March. In March we had full xrays from chest to abdomen and everything was clean. Nothing going on. 

I have syringes of morphine if he gets into trouble. It is 19 mintues to the emergency vet. I work from home. So he will not be alone for a minute. Bottom line is, the vet told us it didn't have to be today, but must be soon. My husband wasn't there yet. It will have to be on Friday. This is just so very difficult. Max is the last golden kid that we have.


----------



## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I'm glad you have more time with Max! HUGS....


----------



## Cathy's Gunner (Dec 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear about Max. I'm glad he isn't in any pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and Max...


----------



## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Treasure your days together, as he will, too.


----------



## CassieMom (Jul 24, 2012)

First time posting on this site, I have read a lot of posts concerning Goldens and cancer. I had my 5 yr old put to sleep 6 years ago with lymphoma. We aquired Cassie as a rescue. She came with a loving kind and gentle always ready to please attitude even though fo 4 years of her life she endured more abuse than one can imagine. Here is my problem, Jake that was put to sleep started vomiting and acting lethargic, vet ran tests couldnt find anything, we treated it as stomach issues until one Sunday he began vomiting blood, we russhed him to the vet, where we were told he had cancer. Now with Cassie she is beginning to vomit, act lethargic she still wants to eat but it comes right back up. This is the same senario I had with Jake. The vet ran tests that all were normal, She has a mass behind her ear that the vet wants to remove, but frankly the way she is I dont think she is healthy enough to survive surgery. She is on tramadol, antibiotics and anti-inflammatory along with her thyroid pill. I dont want her to get bad like my other did. I dont know what to think about this, the vet has said she doesnt believe its cancer but to me its dejavue. Any thoughts anyone?


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*CassieMom*

CassieMom

I am so very sorry about your Jake. 
How old is Cassie?
Has the vet done a chest x-ray and a stomach x-ray to rule out problems there?
Has Cassie vomited blood?
Is Cassie having trouble breathing?


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I'm also very sorry for your loss of Jake. I can't imagine how terrifying it is to be going thru this with Cassie too. Is it possible to take Cassie in to another vet for a second opinion? What color is her gums?


----------



## CassieMom (Jul 24, 2012)

This is our second vet we have have had her to. She did vomit a pink foamy fluid last night, she has not eaten and kept food down for 2 days, she wants to play freesbie and do all her "jobs" , get the mail and get the paper. I dont want her to suffer like Jake did. Will xrays show anything? Now this morning she hasnt come out of my daughters room , she always comes to say goodbye when I leave for work. Her gums are a little grey, and she is continuously panting. Thank you


----------



## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

The only thing I can think to suggest for Cassie is an ultrasound. X-rays might or might not show the problem, but an ultrasound shows much more detail.

The specialist here does it but you have to be referred by your vet to get an appointent. I'm so sorry for you and Cassie.

Gray gums and panting are signs that something is going on. I think you need to find out as soon as possible.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so very sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you.


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Yes, those are bad signs. With both Di and Max last week, they did xrays first. They looked at those to see not only masses, but also if the organs were where they were supposed to be. Full blood panels were done before. I don't remember with Di what was pushed to one side, but the xray showed this. They then did an ultrasound and it showed the spleen huge and that it had ruptured and clotted. With Max, the xrays showed a large tumor behind his stomach, a mottled liver with what looked like maybe a tumor and a tumor inside his upper left back leg. The ultrasound confirmed a very clear shot of the tumor behind his stomach and around his intestines. 

So they always use the xray and then the ultrasound to fill in the blanks. What was good about this was that we didn't have to wait for the results. We knew immediately. Sometimes if they can't read them well, they will send it to an ultrasound expert to Read the details that they aren't able to. 

With Di, she had a second opinion from another vet. We then took her to an Oncologist that did a very thourough examination and she studied the xrays. The oncologist could have recommended a treatment plan, but Di had so many issues besides the hemangiosarcoma of the spleen. So we did not treat her, but uthanized her instead after a few days in our home.

*It is very important not to leave her alone more than a couple of minutes. Especially with the grey gums. Many bad things can happen. *

My heart goes out to you at this awful time.


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I think for the dog going suddenly is a gift, no struggle, no pain, no loss of dignity. For us, that sudden loss is a major shock and hard to process. Knowing their time is getting short gives us a chance to spoil them, spend more time, and prepare ourselves for the inevitable loss.

I don't think I could choose which I prefer.


----------



## CassieMom (Jul 24, 2012)

Thank you to all that offered the kind words and information, unfortunately Cassie was not doing well yesterday and I took her to the vet where she confirmed that Cassie xrays showed tumors. I chose to have her put to sleep, it is very hard to make the decision. She gave us more love in the 6 years we had her than any dog I have every had. Thank you again and I know she is up there playing frisbee to no end!!!!!


----------



## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Cassie. I know it is so difficult to loose them. RIP sweet girl.


----------



## Jacques2000 (Jun 18, 2012)

for the original question i think it depends on the on the problem if a dog is in constant pain to the point that he can't enjoy company and love then quick would be easier but if a dog is blind or has a issue that they can live with I'd let them and love them.

I'm sorry you lost Cassie I'm sure she loved you no matter what you decided


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. The greatest gift of love we can give them is letting them go before pain and suffering. However many years we have with them, it's never enough.


----------

