# Dog park and my submissive golden



## Dogsport (Mar 8, 2020)

If she does well at daycare, why does she need to be at a dog park with unvetted dogs? It could make her more scared, not confident,


----------



## granite7 (Oct 5, 2020)

Unfortunately you are eliminating the best solution to the problem.

1. Build confidence by planning safe encounters with well-behaved dogs.

2. Teach her coping mechanisms.

3. Some dogs normally growl during play. What you describe sounds like typical behavior for poorly socialized or untrained dogs.


----------



## Tagrenine (Aug 20, 2019)

Hi there. There is no answer to this that you’ll like. I learned this the hard way too.
She is a target and you are putting her nearly everyday in a situation where she may or may not get hurt.
Dog parks are full of dogs that don’t know how to properly interact and owners that are even worse. You can’t protect her from every dog.

Right now she’s being a really good girl and trying to coexist, but it will eventually start becoming a more and more stressful experience for her and her submissive might start to turn to fear reactivity.


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

StayGoldPiper said:


> I know there are a lot of people against dog parks. *I'm not looking for advice telling me NOT to go.* I am wondering how I can 1) build her confidence and 2) should I step in like I do to get her away? I don't pull the other dog off or anything, just distract them to end the playtime. 3) is the other dog's behavior normal and I'm just the sensitive one? This is my first dog and I don't have a lot of experience with other dogs interacting.


You may not be looking for it but you obviously know it is the advise you need.


----------



## Rundlemtn (Jan 16, 2015)

Stop taking her to the dog park before you/she learns the hard way that this is not a safe space for dogs. Period.


----------



## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

I have a very submissive girl and she is timid of dogs and people, though she wants to say hi to them, she crouches and crawls to people and dogs. I would hesitate to take her to a place I don't know the dogs due to a possible set back.


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

Dogsport said:


> If she does well at daycare, why does she need to be at a dog park with unvetted dogs? It could make her more scared, not confident,


I take her because there 5 days because are 7 days in the week and she likes to run. I live in town and my yard isn't terribly big. We take walks but it's nothing like the freedom of running and playing.


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


----------



## Tagrenine (Aug 20, 2019)

Dogs are not people and they don't live life understanding fair or not fair. 

We live in apartment. We go hiking, walk at least two miles a day, and practice obedience all day long. When we have time, we rent a backyard or go out to the field next to the complex and play fetch. But our dog is much happier doing things with us versus us taking him somewhere and expecting him to go self entertain or force interaction between him and others. 

This breed in particular I've found, thrives on interaction with their human. If you find things to do with them, it can be much more beneficial than letting them loose in a pack of dogs. If there are times you can visit the park to play fetch when there are no other dogs, even that is beneficial. But throwing her in a group of strangers and hoping none of them hurt her will only give both her and you stress.


----------



## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

StayGoldPiper said:


> So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


We would have to drive hours to find a dog park and Molly can not be trusted much off leash. 
Her idea of unfair is not sleeping in bed with us.


----------



## Riley's Mom (Jul 6, 2008)

StayGoldPiper said:


> So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


My dog gets daily off leash hikes. We typically do about 3 miles a day. A good recall is very important and it is something I teach very early on.


----------



## granite7 (Oct 5, 2020)

StayGoldPiper said:


> So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


If I go to the dog park, I go at times of day when it isn’t busy. When undesirable dogs/owners show up, we leave. 

I invested in training so my oldest can be off leash at the neighborhood park. We will do the same with the pup.

There are fields adjacent to the neighborhood where we can run.

Weather permitting, we enjoy the national forest. Other times we go to wildlife areas.

We joined a Hunting Retriever Club so we have access to land for training.


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

StayGoldPiper said:


> So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


Field training 5 or 6 days a week. Running in field trials as often as possible. Pheasant and waterfowl hunting in the fall. All the things retrievers are supposed to do. 
If I couldn't do those things I would not have a retriever, it would not be fair.


----------



## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

Teach a reliable recall and take her to school yards after school, soccer fields, hiking trails. You can also get a long leash, like 20-30 feet and let her run with that trailing her.


----------



## Otter (Feb 23, 2011)

cwag said:


> Teach a reliable recall and take her to school yards after school, soccer fields, hiking trails. You can also get a long leash, like 20-30 feet and let her run with that trailing her.


I'm in the city too. Well a suburb actually, but it's very densely populated. Anyway, that's what we do. We used to drive to a park with Barkley and put him on a 100' rope to let him run and play frisbee.

I learned from a bad experience 20 years ago to stay far away from dog parks.


----------



## Emmdenn (Jun 5, 2018)

We live in a condo. We take 3 off leash walks a day, both my dogs have reliable recall and we’ve invested a lot of time and training to make this happen. On weekends they go hiking, we go over to friends houses and they play with their nice dogs and run and play in their yard. In the summer we spend time at our family lake house and they swim and play. Not to mention that we are active in training classes for 6 weeks at a time a few times a year and we work on training at home as well. Both dogs are well adjusted and non-destructive. We are actually moving into a house with a nice fenced in yard in the spring but we will likely still have the same walking schedule because we will still live in the same area with the same walking trails.

Perhaps you could use a long line and try to do some walking/hiking to replace the dog park. Your dog sounds a bit unsure and fearful of the way the dogs in the dog park are behaving around her. I would be worried of this turning into a bad experience for her. If she is also in daycare much of the week it could be a lot for her to handle mentally. Don’t get me wrong, we have utilized our local doggy daycare in situations where we both were working long hours or traveling for work etc.. but I don’t like relying on daycare or dog parks to exercise dogs. In my experiences with my friends who’s dogs are constantly at the park...they are hard to manage around other dogs in public because they assume it’s playtime, and they also have poor manners learned from rude dogs picking on them in the park.


----------



## Ontariodogsitter (Feb 23, 2020)

You already know your girl is getting intimidated and scared, that is no way to build up confidence.
as @granite7 suggested, trying to go to the park when they are less busy and building up relationship with well behaved dogs and owners, may work.
Another possibility is to investigate local Agility fields, they sometime rent out their facilities on monthly bases, if you can get small group together it's very reasonable and all the dogs and owners are well behaved 
Your daycare owner may be a good source of possible contacts.


----------



## CCoopz (Jun 2, 2020)

I do totally agree with the advice you’ve already been given, and by some very notable and experience golden people. 

But I’ll add my bit in, in case helpful. 

I live in the uk in a town. We don’t really have dog parks. Although we live in the suburb and of the town we are lucky to have several places within 10 minute walking distance. A large park which is partly heathland, the beach, a riverside nature reserve and playing field. 

However, we come across a lot of other dogs. Some spaces such as the beach it can be difficult to keep enough space avoid other dogs. 

There are times I see a dog in the near distance and I just don’t like something about the dogs body language, the owners handling or lack of control. So I put my Teddy on his leash and distract him with a squeaky toy I have in my pocket or treats till we pass them then or they move on.

If another dog comes zooming over to play and it starts out nicely then fine they can play but I stay close and watch to intervene if needed. Most times I can call Teddy to me or if he goes deaf I can go to him take hold of his harness and command him to sit and he does. Doesn’t continue playing, it’s as if my close presence snaps him out of it. 

If the other dog continues trying to play or even jumping on us I politely ask but firmly and loudly tell the owner to take their dog away. 

Since my confidence has grown I never hesitate to tell the owner to control their dog. I also actively avoid some dogs I know I don’t want Teddy interacting with. 
I never wait till Teddy is on his back with a dominant dog over him or Teddy being humped. I admit I did when I initially got him. As this was a new situation for me as never had this problem with my previous dog.

So 
1. Learn to read dog body language and keep your dog away from bad situations 
2. Step in before play escalates, slightest thing, very early sign of escalation, stop it and tell the other owner to step in. 
3. Train your dog to come to you and sit so you can leash up and get out of there. I don’t know she may keep running around trying to be submissive to the other dog? Rather than coming to you. 

Or even tell other owners you don’t want her playing and prefer for them to avoid you and your dog! 

But seriously I would listen to the others as Golden’s are notorious softies and could very quickly get seriously hurt by another dog. 

Just to reiterate I think you’ve already had better advice than mine!


----------



## Rastadog (Oct 24, 2006)

CCoopz, Excellent advice, control your dog, if I’ve said it once I’ve said it 100 times. I used to walk my first golden at a golf course with other dogs. Pay Attention to other dogs body language. We are our dog’s advocates. Dog parks are accidents waiting to happen. There are too many human and canine variables. I have encountered humans with dominant pushy dogs. These humans like their dogs being that way and can’t be relied on to control their dogs. Find a place to walk off lead. First work hard training a reliable recall.It takes awhile but it’s worth it. I’m fortunate to have a deserted golf course and an apple orchard with nature trails for our off lead walks. The off lead recall work began in earnest with my 3 month old puppy dragging a 30 foot long line around. Praise and treat every recall and check back; dog turns to look at you to see where you are. I would jackpot, lots of treats)an especially good recall.


----------



## Sharon Spence (Jan 30, 2021)

CCoopz said:


> I do totally agree with the advice you’ve already been given, and by some very notable and experience golden people.
> 
> But I’ll add my bit in, in case helpful.
> 
> ...


I think your advice is spot on. Unfortunately not all dogs are as good natured as our 'big softie' Goldens


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

You may not want reasons to not take her to the dog park, but WHY do you want to take her somewhere every day where she is TERRIFIED? All you are doing is allowing her to be terrified and bullied. If you were a child and your parent forced you to go to a park where other kids bullied you and scared you every single time you were taken there how would you like that?

If she does well at day care and is not being bullied there, that's where you need to take her. That's where she will learn to be more confident, not where she she is scared to death (rolling on her back means that!).

You are responsible for taking care of her and keeping her safe. You are failing her by forcing her to go where she is bullied and terrified at the dog park. Stop.


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

What is the definition of insanity?


----------



## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

Molly is so submissive she'll pee for other dogs and people she doesn't know well if they reach for her.
She seems to be doing it less and less and she gets older but while researching the situation, the one thing I found over and over was not to put my submissive girl in situations she will feel nervous or scared. 
With people I had to flat out tell them not to pet my dog. Shes crawling to them and wanting attention but if they were to reach for her, she would pee. Instead they needed to ignore her and wait until they could get so they presented their side to her. That was not so scary and worked a majority of the time.
The only dogs I allow around her are dogs I trust. My moms, mother in laws and my daughters dog. They will not hurt her and she is comfortable. 
I have had a lot of run ins with off leash dogs and will now carry a stick or bat. I will swing if they get close. 
Oh the neighbors have a dog she likes too and she forgets her name when he is out so she has to be on a leash because of him. She won't stay in our yard.


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

Dunmar said:


> she forgets her name when he is out


LOL, no she doesn't.


----------



## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

SRW said:


> LOL, no she doesn't.


She sure pretends to lol


----------



## RMather (Jan 4, 2010)

SRW said:


> Field training 5 or 6 days a week. Running in field trials as often as possible. Pheasant and waterfowl hunting in the fall. All the things retrievers are supposed to do.
> If I couldn't do those things I would not have a retriever, it would not be fair.


Are you saying those of us that don’t do pheasant and waterfowl hunting shouldn’t have a Golden because it wouldn’t be fair? Hmmmm. We must have got one of those rare California Golden Retriever beach dogs! We just got back from a 4 mile beach walk and play and I’m pretty sure he had a fantastic time! Retrieving a ball and Frisbee also seems to satisfy that retriever instinct. Don’t want to scare anyone off from giving love to a dog. 😊


----------



## Rundlemtn (Jan 16, 2015)

RMather said:


> Are you saying those of us that don’t do pheasant and waterfowl hunting shouldn’t have a Golden because it wouldn’t be fair? Hmmmm. We must have got one of those rare California Golden Retriever beach dogs! We just got back from a 4 mile beach walk and play and I’m pretty sure he had a fantastic time! Retrieving a ball and Frisbee also seems to satisfy that retriever instinct. Don’t want to scare anyone off from giving love to a dog. 😊


I think this was a tongue-in-cheek response to the poster saying that it wouldn't be fair to the golden not take him to the off-leash park, as if this is the only and best option for off-leash activities. Meanwhile, in most cases, its the easiest, laziest, and most dangerous option to the dog (note: some people have found safe workarounds to using dog parks and this is not said to target them or discount their efforts - you know what/who I'm talking about).


----------



## Rundlemtn (Jan 16, 2015)

Anyhow, I'm thinking that all of this is falling on closed ears. The poster will do what they want to do. I hope for theirs and their dogs sake they don't have to learn that this forum was right, as many of us have already had to learn the hard way about dog parks with our beautiful dogs.


----------



## CCoopz (Jun 2, 2020)

Hhhm I think the poster is long gone because she got the response she didn’t want to hear, don’t take your submissive dog to a dog park.


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

RMather said:


> Are you saying those of us that don’t do pheasant and waterfowl hunting shouldn’t have a Golden because it wouldn’t be fair?


In a perfect world..........
Goldens are working dogs and they deserve an active life. Going for a walk on a leash is not active.


----------



## azzure (Dec 10, 2011)

StayGoldPiper said:


> So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


I take my dog to a fenced schoolyard on weekends, and occasionally to a fenced cemetery in our town! Poop bags essential o course. He does love to run among the tombstones! And I think the folks there wouldn't mind a bit.


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

azzure said:


> I take my dog to a fenced schoolyard on weekends, and occasionally to a fenced cemetery in our town! Poop bags essential o course. He does love to run among the tombstones! And I think the folks there wouldn't mind a bit.



It's against our city ordinance to have your dog off leash in public areas other than the dog park or dog beach.


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

CCoopz said:


> Hhhm I think the poster is long gone because she got the response she didn’t want to hear, don’t take your submissive dog to a dog park.



Actually, I don't like how I'm treated on this forum every time I post. I am looking for feedback and I asked for thoughts about how to help, not to just not go to the dog park. You are aware that dogs interact in other locations besides the dog park so asking this advice would be useful for me in more than this ONE PARTICULAR situation?


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

3Pebs3 said:


> I think this was a tongue-in-cheek response to the poster saying that it wouldn't be fair to the golden not take him to the off-leash park, as if this is the only and best option for off-leash activities. Meanwhile, in most cases, its the easiest, laziest, and most dangerous option to the dog (note: some people have found safe workarounds to using dog parks and this is not said to target them or discount their efforts - you know what/who I'm talking about).



I am not a lazy dog owner. I care for my dog immensely and only asked a question on this forum to HELP her.


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

mylissyk said:


> You may not want reasons to not take her to the dog park, but WHY do you want to take her somewhere every day where she is TERRIFIED? All you are doing is allowing her to be terrified and bullied. If you were a child and your parent forced you to go to a park where other kids bullied you and scared you every single time you were taken there how would you like that?
> 
> If she does well at day care and is not being bullied there, that's where you need to take her. That's where she will learn to be more confident, not where she she is scared to death (rolling on her back means that!).
> 
> You are responsible for taking care of her and keeping her safe. You are failing her by forcing her to go where she is bullied and terrified at the dog park. Stop.



Did I say she was terrified? I did not. She runs and has a great time and if she was in fear, I would not bring her. Seriously?


----------



## StayGoldPiper (Jun 25, 2019)

cwag said:


> Teach a reliable recall and take her to school yards after school, soccer fields, hiking trails. You can also get a long leash, like 20-30 feet and let her run with that trailing her.



It is against city ordinance to be off leash in public areas.


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

StayGoldPiper said:


> is the other dog's behavior normal and I'm just the sensitive one?


Yes to both questions.


StayGoldPiper said:


> I don't post here often because of less than favorable replies.





StayGoldPiper said:


> I'm really just looking for advice


Which do you want, favorable replies or advice?


StayGoldPiper said:


> Actually, I don't like how I'm treated on this forum every time I post. I am looking for feedback and I asked for thoughts about how to help, not to just not go to the dog park.


Do you feel mistreated? Was my feedback OK?


----------



## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

When you stated "Piper gets overwhelmed and tries to get away " that is what members are reacting to.
You have a submissive girl getting picked on, overwhelmed and trying to get away. 
She is telling you everything you need to know.


My very submissive girl is going to start training finally in a group in two weeks. If she does well, we will continue. If she doesn't, we will drop out and do private lessons. The trainer knows she is submissive and is going to keep her away from the other dogs and gradually get her closer and closer.. 

Keep sending her to day care, scrap the dog park.


----------



## Mike_L289 (Dec 18, 2015)

StayGoldPiper said:


> I take my dog, almost 2, to the dog park about 5 days a week. She also goes to daycare 2 days a week. She is a lover of all people which is pretty typical of a golden and a loves to play although seems to be the target of unfriendly dogs often at the park. She is submissive and will show her belly or crouch when a dog is approaching that makes her nervous or she doesn't know. Most dogs play a second, some she gets along with well and others, well, it's a mess. Many dogs growl at her when they are playing. She has good intent and wants to be friends. Piper gets overwhelmed quickly and tries to get away. Most often, the owner doesn't care. I step in and call her to me, often distracting the other dog.
> 
> I know there are a lot of people against dog parks. I'm not looking for advice telling me NOT to go. I am wondering how I can 1) build her confidence and 2) should I step in like I do to get her away? I don't pull the other dog off or anything, just distract them to end the playtime. 3) is the other dog's behavior normal and I'm just the sensitive one? This is my first dog and I don't have a lot of experience with other dogs interacting.
> 
> ...





Rastadog said:


> CCoopz, Excellent advice, control your dog, if I’ve said it once I’ve said it 100 times. I used to walk my first golden at a golf course with other dogs. Pay Attention to other dogs body language. We are our dog’s advocates. Dog parks are accidents waiting to happen. There are too many human and canine variables. I have encountered humans with dominant pushy dogs. These humans like their dogs being that way and can’t be relied on to control their dogs. Find a place to walk off lead. First work hard training a reliable recall.It takes awhile but it’s worth it. I’m fortunate to have a deserted golf course and an apple orchard with nature trails for our off lead walks. The off lead recall work began in earnest with my 3 month old puppy dragging a 30 foot long line around. Praise and treat every recall and check back; dog turns to look at you to see where you are. I would jackpot, lots of treats)an
> 
> 
> StayGoldPiper said:
> ...


----------



## Rundlemtn (Jan 16, 2015)

StayGoldPiper said:


> I am not a lazy dog owner. I care for my dog immensely and only asked a question on this forum to HELP her.


I'm equating your situation to those tv shows where there is a sweet sensitive kid getting picked on by a bully at school. The dad chimes in, well I'll teach you to defend yourself, so you can't get picked on. The kid doesn't want to learn to fight back, he/she just doesn't want to get picked on anymore. And by the end of the episode, it usually doesn't end well for the sensitive kid, and the parent realizes rather than pushing their own agenda they should have embraced the kid for who he/she is and found a way to work the person that he/she is rather than work against it. 

And actually, it is an unrealistic expectation that you bring a dog to a park and that they are going to like and get along with everyone. This doesn't happen anywhere for us. In a schoolyard, workplace - I bet if you were to walk into a park right now, there would be very little chance that you'd like everyone you spoke to there and wanted to hang out with them. It is much better for your dog to arrange playdates with dogs you KNOW they get along with and play well with. If you don't have a yard, perhaps they do. There are lots of Facebook, Instagram and other groups just dedicated to dog owners who love their dog that want to arrange safe playdates for them after they realized that dog parks are not a good option. 

It takes one google search or even one forum search to find a crap ton of posts whose dogs got injured, even seriously injured at dog parks. A dog trainer I follow on YouTube's submissive border collie was attacked by multiple dogs at a dog park when the pack mentality set in, and all the dogs followed suit in the attack. She became a trainer to help her dog with her recovery, and through her training learned about how terrible dog parks actually are for most dogs mental health. 

It is easier to say, well my dog should have off-leash time and this is the only place she can be off-leash, and keep going. It will take more work to find safe alternatives for her. You are getting all of the messaging that this is not the place for her. So, DON"T be the lazy dog owner that keeps taking the easy option, when there are better ones out there for her.


----------



## Ffcmm (May 4, 2016)

in my country (Singapore) its illegal to off leash dogs anywhere except for dog runs. I personally used to go to dog runs alot, with my girl Lily. She is a dog that thrives in the dog run, and has never been caught in a bad interaction, it helps that she is very 'balanced' if that makes sense. Since I got my boy Monty, I've stopped going to dog runs, because he is an intact male and it will be unenjoyable for us, he might get into a fight, or just be a bother to other off leash dogs with excessive sniffing or other rude behaviour. it would be exhausting for me to constantly mange the interaction so I do not put myself in that situation. That being said Monty is really high energy, and I burn his energy with a 16ft long lead in situations where i cannot let him off leash. it mimics an off leash adventure for him and I get to practice recall. realistically I go for long walks LATE. like 11-12 midnight kind of late because thats when i can let him off leash without meeting other dogs and we walk at least 3 miles and I have the night all to myself! 

*Now I know you are not willing to give up going to the dog run, so my advice is as follows: *

- watch piper like a hawk. the moment she starts getting uncomfortable with another dog, step in. Yes absolutely body block the other dog, use your body to get them to back off her ( place yourself between her and the other dog and walking forward to 'send' the other dog back) it's more effective than calling her back to you because the other dog might continue to follow piper regardless. 

- anytime you see piper with her tail tucked, or her belly up looking fearful or maybe she is crouching low in fear, step in. if a dog tries to hump her, yes step in and pull that dog off if you have to. If a dog puts his head on her back (dominant posture) step in. if a dog sniffs and follows her around relentlessly, step in. if you do not step in you risk a bad interaction where she will react in fear. 

- try and go during 'off peak' hours or timings where you know there are regular balanced dogs around. 

You are going to have to be *very very vigilant.* I hope you do not have a bad experience but if you are determined to keep frequenting the parks then you must be more proactive in protecting her from rude dogs, calling her back to you is not going to be enough because some dogs are very very persistant. take care or you will have a bad encounter soon. 

I hope this helps, wishing you all the best ( and sorry this is so long!)


----------



## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

StayGoldPiper said:


> I take my dog, almost 2, to the dog park about 5 days a week. She also goes to daycare 2 days a week. She is a lover of all people which is pretty typical of a golden and a loves to play although seems to be the target of unfriendly dogs often at the park. She is submissive and will show her belly or crouch when a dog is approaching that makes her nervous or she doesn't know. Most dogs play a second, some she gets along with well and others, well, it's a mess. Many dogs growl at her when they are playing. She has good intent and wants to be friends. Piper gets overwhelmed quickly and tries to get away. Most often, the owner doesn't care. I step in and call her to me, often distracting the other dog.
> 
> I know there are a lot of people against dog parks. I'm not looking for advice telling me NOT to go. I am wondering how I can 1) build her confidence and 2) should I step in like I do to get her away? I don't pull the other dog off or anything, just distract them to end the playtime. 3) is the other dog's behavior normal and I'm just the sensitive one? This is my first dog and I don't have a lot of experience with other dogs interacting.
> 
> ...


There's a common misconception that dogs need to play with other dogs every day, and that this is the only way to tire them out. It's not true.

Golden retrievers are fundamentally working dogs. They are bred to work, and that is what they want to do. They are happiest when they have a job. Almost any job will do - they are adaptable. The job might be obedience, or agility, or scent detection, or canicross, or hunting, or trials of some kind, or being a seeing eye dog, or simply doing tricks. To answer your question (1), the best way of building your dog's confidence (in my experience) is by training her to do something. Instead of taking her to the dog park, find a training school and take an hour-long class. On the days when you don't have class, spend that hour practising the things you've learned. Start with obedience. Once you've learned the basics, you can do a rally obedience class, or go on to competitive obedience. Your golden will shine. My dog - who is from performance lines - is my competition agility partner, but in addition to our agility training we also do weekly rally obedience classes for fun (or we did, before COVID). He absolutely lights up when I get out the training bag, for agility or for obedience. He was not a particularly confident puppy, but if you saw him now, at five years of age, you'd see a dog who is fulfilled and confident and excited to get to work.

I can (and do) walk miles every day with my dog, and sometimes walk with friends and their dogs on trails where the dogs can be off-leash. He will play with the other dogs for a minute or two, and then he goes off to do his own thing - following scents, bringing sticks or a ball for me to throw for him, etc. At the end of the walk he is still raring to go. But at the end of a one-hour training class, he is literally exhausted - mentally and physically. On days when we only walk or play, he's still energetic in the evening. On days when we train or go to class, he's done and sleeps on his cushion after dinner. A working dog is happiest when he can work and do his job.

In addition to this, if you get a dog, it's normally because you want to spend time with him and do stuff with him. Building a life for the dog where his main source of fun is playing with other dogs isn't a great way to build a bond with him. One of the reasons my dog doesn't go crazy when given the chance to play with other dogs is that he has a lot more fun when it's just him and me: we go to class, or I throw things for him to retrieve, or we go to competitions, etc. The point is, it's him and me. Not him and some random dogs somewhere that might or might not be nice to him.

My 2 cents? If you keep putting your dog in situations where she's less than comfortable, she's going to stop trusting you and is going to lose her confidence completely. If her only source of exercise is to run around with random other dogs, you risk ending up with a reactive dog. There are no ifs or buts about this - I have seen it happen on countless occasions. If you want to build her confidence (your question number (1)), then find some activities for her where she can use her brain and live up to her potential: in other words, train her to do something. She's a golden retriever - a working dog. She will flourish most if she can work at something. You never know, you might have fun too - because it seems clear from your description that the trips to the park aren't much fun for either of you.


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

StayGoldPiper said:


> Did I say she was terrified? I did not. She runs and has a great time and if she was in fear, I would not bring her. Seriously?


Rolling over on her back and exposing her belly to the other dogs IS fear. Running away from the other dogs IS fear.


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

StayGoldPiper said:


> So everyone who is against dog parks....how does your dog get freedom to truly run and play? I think it is grossly unfair to have to live your life on a leash.


Find a friend or neighbor with a fenced yard, and maybe a friendly dog and see if you can have play dates in their yard.


----------



## PiperRoseMom (Jun 4, 2019)

SRW said:


> Field training 5 or 6 days a week. Running in field trials as often as possible. Pheasant and waterfowl hunting in the fall. All the things retrievers are supposed to do.
> If I couldn't do those things I would not have a retriever, it would not be fair.


I disagree with your statement that Retrievers must do the things you listed to be happy or to "be fair" to them.
most Retriever owner know their dogs need exercise, time to run and they play "fetch" and other games with them to get to use their instincts.
Dogs especially Retrievers are very social animals and just enjoy spending time with people for loving attention.
What you do with your Retriever is awesome , but not every Retriever does NEED to do that to enjoy life.
p.s. We,too, are hunters with our Golden and know she loves that !!


----------



## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

PiperRoseMom said:


> I disagree with your statement that Retrievers must do the things you listed to be happy or to "be fair" to them.


That was an intentional overstatement. My point being that retrievers need to be very active and going for a 2 mile walk on lead then back to the apartment is not exercise. 

I will state that no retriever is as happy as a retriever returning with a bird.


----------



## CCoopz (Jun 2, 2020)

SRW said:


> That was an intentional overstatement. My point being that retrievers need to be very active and going for a 2 mile walk on lead then back to the apartment is not exercise.
> 
> I will state that no retriever is as happy as a retriever returning with a bird.


I agree with essence of what your saying. 
Teddy’s happiest walks are when he has the job of carrying a ball or toy (his favourite is a toy in a rolled up newspaper shape) whilst off lead. Also where he gets to retrieve the ball or toy from the sea or river. He loves to swim! He gets to do this a reasonable amount of the time. 

Then his second best is having an hours (minimum) off lead walk, with running whenever he feels like, sniff and explore, roll around and possibly play with other suitable dogs.

There are the rare occasions when he has one of those preferred options only in the morning and not again in the afternoon.
On those occasions the afternoon is an 
on-lead trot around our neighbourhood streets with some time for sniffing and making his mark. But I know from his demeanour that this type of walk has not exercised him physically or mentally much. 

So in these instances he will always need more rigorous play with one of us with his toys in the house in the evening. Even one or two round of scent game, finding kibble pieces hidden around the garden. 

Teddy comes from show lines so not sure how strong the hunting or retrieving is in him. He loves to swim retrieve and carry but not land retrieve. I think he would be even happier if we exercised his mind too. I did actually signup for beginners gun dog training last autumn but it got cancelled because of UK going into another lockdown we haven’t yet come out of. I’m really not convinced that Ted will ever be that great at retrieving on land but I think he would enjoy the mental stimulation of attempting the training. 🤞 we can start classes in the spring. 
Or even the good dog citizen course. I just really think he needs more mental challenges. I think some people underestimate how intelligent GR’s are or how strong their instinct to ‘work’ is.


----------



## PiperRoseMom (Jun 4, 2019)

SRW said:


> That was an intentional overstatement. My point being that retrievers need to be very active and going for a 2 mile walk on lead then back to the apartment is not exercise.
> 
> I will state that no retriever is as happy as a retriever returning with a bird.



Oh, I will have to agree with that !! Our Goldens have all hunted, mostly upland game as that is my husband's favorite. They are so excited to get out in those fields and SO happy when the hunter FINALLY gets a bird to retrieve !!


----------



## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

I do not understand why you would take a submissive, young dog to dog park who clearly does not belong there. Your dog may be injured by an aggressive dog. Why subject your gentle Golden to the risk? Years ago we had a gentle female and tried taking her to the local dog park. She did not do well, so we stopped taking her. More recently, we had Max, a big, alpha male, and took him to dog park. The other dogs learned to leave him alone, because he would stand up for himself. I know you do not want to hear it, but you should stay away from dog park, because that is the best thing for your dog.


----------

