# Need help



## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

Ok my golden named Ruby is 18 1/2 yrs old. I know that's old and yes she got issues. Pretty much deaf unless you clap very loud,Here's the issue. Mon and Tue she couldn't even stand up without me lifting her. She hasn't been able to squat to poop for about a yr she just poops while walking along. She has tried squating and falls over backwards into it and yes quite a mess. So after our rough mon/tue I called the vet and we have an appointment this coming Mon Nov 1st to have her put to sleep. Needless to say my week since then has been anxiety, grieving etc.This has been a process as Ruby has friend from Hawaii to London sending emails etc she has been quite popular in our travels and in our home here in New England. So now that things are planned the past 3 days she has been her old self. Actually trotting on her walk today, sniffing every leaf and exploring and excited like she was a couple of months ago. I know she is not going to get younger only older but I am so confused, having her act like this throws me into a state of confusion. Has anyone else experienced anything like this little turn around she's had. I'm wondering if this is a temporary thing. You hear of people who are terminally having a really good day or two right before the end. Please help with any experiences or thoughts.
I do not want her to have a bad quality of life but if she was just having a bad spell I'd feel horrible to make the wrong move in regards to her care. I can't afford to have a workup with the vet. Our vet is in a neighboring state and has been with Ruby since I got her at 7wks old. My unemployment ran out this month so I truely do not have a dime for testing and if she were seriously ill nothing could be done at this point. I'm sorry for rambling but this is exactly what is going on in my head.
:uhoh:


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I am so sorry sweet Ruby is getting so infirm but 18 is an unbelievable age for a golden!!!

You will know in your heart. How many good days does she have as opposed to bad? Does she have dignity?

It sounds like you have to make an appointment pretty far in advance to go to another state.. is it likely she will still be doing well next week?

Someone here once said "Better a few days too early than a few days too late" we don't want our beloved family members to suffer.

When we had our Selka put to sleep due to horrendous pain from osteosarcoma , the vet came to our house. Selka jumped up, grabbed a toy and met him at the door! It broke all our hearts and I had 2nd thoughts for a few seconds. But we all knew how much pain he was in and that it was going to just get worse quickly. I wanted to save him from all that pain and give him the gift I was able to give out of love.

You and Ruby are in my prayers. How wonderful to have a golden live a healthy life to 18!


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## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

Thanks, that's just it aside from the gradual changes with her back end failing at times she has never whimpered or cried out. She is stiff during her walks alot and has the issues I mentioned above. The reason we are going to the vet up north about 1hr 45 min from here is that is our home area where my daughter and grandson live. I could not afford cremation and my vet lives in the woods (her clinic is attached to her home) and she is allowing us to bury Ruby in the back a beautiful wooded area. Ruby was born 1 of a litter of 13 just 3 miles down the road from there. She just has this energy these past few days like she used to. I imagine at her age she must have some other things going on that I can't see. I just don't want to make the decision too early if she isn't ready. Yet I wonder if she will make it through the winter as she would probably not make it on snow/ice to do her toileting. She doesn't do stairs anymore she has a ramp. What a mess I'm making myself crazy.


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## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

As a Mommy to almost 18 year old Golden, with cancer, I certainly know where you are coming from. Just this last week, Erin is starting to have problems with stairs. But as long as she is happy and eating and not in pain or suffering I will hang in there. I worry a lot about the winter coming on too, don't have snow to worry about here, but she hates going outside in the rain.I think as long as your girl seems happy and you are willing to do the care necessary, you should keep going. She will let you know when she has had enough. But only you really knows your dog, listen to your heart, what ever you decide will be the right choice. Take care.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I'm sorry you're going through this with Ruby. Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one. Thoughts are with you.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I am so sorry you are dealing with these end of life issues and I am echoing what everyone else is saying--go with your heart. 

How wonderful you shared 18 years with her!


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

18 years is a wonderful lifespan for a dog! I had an 18 year old German Shepard who was pretty much deaf and blind and senile but still loving life - the day he lost his dignity and looked ashamed of himself was the day we made the appointment. He had such a beautiful spirit we could not let him feel ashamed and his body was just giving out. That was his way of letting us know the time had come to set him free. 

There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to the end of life issues we face with our pets; listen with your heart and look into her eyes and you will know - either way.

BTW, I have had friends dig a grave for a dog in the late fall before the hard freeze, just in case the dog did not make it through the winter. This way they could be buried when that is what the owner wished. The holes were of course covered but were available should the need arise.


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

I am sorry I have no answers for you. Follow your heart. Please know you and Ruby are in our thoughts and prayers.


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## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

Well tomorrow is almost here and I am hanging in there. Had a long talk with the vet last night. I love this woman she can make you laugh in the midst of anything. She had me do a bodyscan as best a layman can over the phone with her, checking for bumps lumps and gum color etc. She wants to do a little look over before a shot is given. Renal failure is a thought but breath did not have a urine type smell which vet says is common with that. Also looking at Ruby's history of Von Willebrand's disease. Coagulation problems.
Vet says she could be very anemic which at her age may be a cause for back legs giving out.This is treatable. Blood not circulating means no proper circulation in the back end. Maybe a last resort but we will CHECK it out. So Ms Ruby may be able to come back tomorrow or not. It now rest upon her and the vet and I.
Thanks all for the kindness you've shared. It's cold here today and a ladybug made it across the parking lot. No spots, Ruby Red like my baby mmmmm, death or rebirth we shall see.


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## pwrstrk02 (Aug 11, 2010)

If it comes down to IT. Remember the love that she has shown you. Don't be selfish and prolong her suffering. Show her the love that she deserves and do IT in a proper amount of time. When the time comes, you will know. It will hurt, but it will feel right. There will be plenty of emotional support here if you decide to go through with it, so don't be afraid to speak your mind and spill your emotions out here. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep us posted please.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

aprilg said:


> Well tomorrow is almost here and I am hanging in there. Had a long talk with the vet last night. I love this woman she can make you laugh in the midst of anything. She had me do a bodyscan as best a layman can over the phone with her, checking for bumps lumps and gum color etc. She wants to do a little look over before a shot is given. Renal failure is a thought but breath did not have a urine type smell which vet says is common with that. Also looking at Ruby's history of Von Willebrand's disease. Coagulation problems.
> Vet says she could be very anemic which at her age may be a cause for back legs giving out.This is treatable. Blood not circulating means no proper circulation in the back end. Maybe a last resort but we will CHECK it out. So Ms Ruby may be able to come back tomorrow or not. It now rest upon her and the vet and I.
> Thanks all for the kindness you've shared. It's cold here today and a ladybug made it across the parking lot. No spots, Ruby Red like my baby mmmmm, death or rebirth we shall see.


Welcome - and I got all teary at the very thought of an 18 year old sweet love. What a wonderful gift. And how wonderful, too, is your vet? That was so nice of her to help you over the phone like that, and see if she could help you do a little once over.

I agree that you will know - and Ruby will let you know. You know her best - and you will know when it's time. It is very possible she had a couple bad days and still has lots of good days left. Maybe a little check-in with your vet will be helpful. I hope you get to bring her home tomorrow.

Do you have a photo of her we can see?


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Aprilg*

Aprilg

What a blessing that Ruby is 18! I will keep Ruby and you in my prayers.

God Bless!


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

How wonderful you had your girl so long. Wow, 18 years! 

I remember DH's aunt telling me that the vet told her, people frequently make & cancel several appointments. It's a hard decision.


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## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

yes, I have some recent pics but can't get them to load. Keep getting invalid file reading. I've read through forums info and I know they are the right size as they have been on other sites such as FB and no problem. I'm too stressed to mess with a tutorial in jpeg etc. I can't even find out how to add one to my profile pic space.
No Willow I won't be making and canceling appointments I couldn't go through that nor could Ruby. She will either come back with me or buried there tomorrow. I love her too much for the trauma/drama. I can though see how each person is effected differently. It must be so hard for people who are all alone in the world without the support of friends and family. I know that their pet is there lifeline. 
Ms Ruby is giving me the gotta go now look  
Will try back later.
Thanks everyone.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

aprilg,
You are so blessed to have Ms Ruby for 18 years. It makes me cry and smile to think of all th memories and times you have had together. You will know when the right time and she will tell you.

If you want to send the pictures to me, I will load them up for you. If you have the pictures in a place like photobucket, copy the image code and paste it here and it will show up. also if you load them up to the gallery it will resize them for you. Then copy the BB direct code and paste it to your thread. But loading directly from your computer it has to be the size of 800 pixels. If uploading from your computer you go to manage attachments and upload from your computer. Then it will load your picture.


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## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

Thanks beaushel..I will do that now. I will send from my email address so you will see agentry333 and know it's not spam but indeed me


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I was able to load the last two pictures you sent me but for some reason they are coming in thru microsoft word. Hopefully they will show up here

I had to change them to a pdf file to get them to come up. I dont know how you have them loaded in your computer but they do have to be a jpg, jpeg, gif. 

You have to click on the pdf file to see them


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## aprilg (Oct 30, 2010)

Thank you so much. I'm not sure usually it's the opposite issue where everything is pdf lol. I have to sit down and go through files and do some updating. I know I need microsoft office installed for some business stuff and goodness knows what else I need to get up to speed. Again thanks.


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## kingman (Mar 24, 2009)

Both you and your Golden are honestly blessed to have spent 18+ years together. Most of the Goldens that l come across are luckly to live until 12 and that's if the don't develop cancer.

My little girl just had he 10th birthday and would give anything to have her for another 8 yrs. 

But when the time comes when she can no longer be a Golden then it will be the time to put her to sleep. 

My prayer's and know that you were blessed.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

What a sweet face. I hope things go well today. Good thoughts coming your way...


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