# Benji - gone to Rainbow Bridge



## Benji blue (Sep 18, 2013)

Hi, I'm new to this forum and wanted to let you know that I lost my beloved Benji, my baby boy on 4th August 2013. He was 12 years 7 months old. 
He was my world. I had him since he was 8 weeks old. He was Hard work especially when he was a teenager but he was cheeky with it! 
He was like a puppy up until about 11 years old!! He then developed arthritis and senility. He was on lots of meds which did help but he then started to get worse so I decided to have him xrayed so that we could decide if different/more meds were needed. When we collected him from the vets after the X-ray he couldn't get up. He was like that for the next two days. He couldn't get up to eat or toilet and he couldn't sleep. I stayed downstairs with him for two nights. I then realised that it was time to let him go. It was such a horrible decision to make but I knew he was suffering. I spoke to the vet several times during the night asking him what we could do. He then came to the house and said that his legs had gone. He said I was making the right decision. I was with him all the time and cried my eyes out. I was devastated. I had him cremated. I went to see him in the kennel of rest and he looked so peaceful. I hugged him and kissed him for the last time and said goodnight to him. I left photos, a letter, a tennis ball and a biscuit with him. I collected his ashes later that afternoon. He is in my lounge and I kiss his casket each morning and evening. I am feeling slightly better but have been through hell. I have felt guilty because I had him xrayed and wondered if that made him worse. I know there are lots of emotions when loosing a pet - I have gone through all of them. Some days I'm fine but others I just crack up and cry. I know I want another dog or two in the future , maybe next year as I'm not ready yet , I'm still grieving my Benji. Sometimes tho I feel disloyal that I want another - is this normal ? I wouldn't have another goldie tho as I would be comparing. I think I would have a cocker spaniel. Maybe one day tho I will have another goldie. I love Benji so much and miss him every day. I get comfort from the Rainbow Bridge poem. Oh and I also get comfort from the paw tattoo I had - it was done with Benji's ashes - I now have him with me always. 
Thanks for reading. 
Nic.


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

I am so sorry for the loss of your Benji. We never have them long enough, it sounds like he had a wonderful life. My thoughts are with you.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Benji, he sounds like a wonderful boy.

I'm sorry you've found the forum under such sad circumstances. 

I think most of us who have had Goldens and have lost them, because we loved them so much, we want another one. 

My thoughts are with you. 

Godspeed Benji.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss. All of your feelings are normal...I've had every one of them..sometimes all in the same day. Feelings of acceptance followed by guilt that I should have done more followed by excitement for our coming puppy followed by tears because I remembered something about Penny.

A Golden will find you when you are ready...Benji will see to that. He knows your heart needs to heal.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

So sorry for your loss of Benji  we understand your pain


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## JBJ Goldens (Dec 16, 2012)

I am so sorry on your loss of Benji. 

Jana


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I'm so sorry. I seriously doubt getting the xray in any way caused any of his issues. You gave him the final, hardest gift of assuming the pain so that he could be free of it and not suffer. Let your grief take you where it may.... time will help, even though now I'm sure it doesn't seem so. Many of us feel that to get another dog will never ever replace those that have gone before, but it is a great honor to them that we want to share our lives with the love and enrichment that they have taught us. I'm sure Benji will be thilled when you feel it is the time to open your heart to another little fur ball.


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## USAFWife74 (Jan 13, 2013)

So very sorry....


Sent from Petguide.com App


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## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

Oh my, I am so sorry. It is hard but it does get better.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Very sorry for the loss of Benji. I can tell you gave him a wonderful life full of love. I know how it hurts to loose them.


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## Jaime2061 (Apr 1, 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear about Benji. It is by far the most difficult thing I've ever been through. I don't think you should feel guilty at all about wanting another dog. Maybe when your ready those feelings will change. There are all sorts of emotions that come with loss. Again I'm so sorry. Run free and healthy Benji!


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## Ylan's Mom (May 14, 2013)

I am sorry about your loss. I understand because my angel went to the bride 4 months ago. Each person mourns differently and for differnt time periods. I miss my Ylan every day, and even though I have come to better terms with her passing I have my sad moments. Give yourself time and when you are ready for a new pup your heart will let you know...


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

Sorry for your loss but know your beloved pet will be waiting for you.


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## Benji blue (Sep 18, 2013)

Thank you all for your lovely comments. It really helps. Xx


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Hi Nic, I am very sorry for your loss of Benji. It is great loss no matter how old they are, never enough time. It is good you join to the forum, you are with many who understand your pain as we were there. I lost my Buddy 28 months ago and still have some really bad days when I am sad and crying. 18 months later we got new golden boy, Charlie and we are celebrating his first birthday tomorrow. If it would be for my husband we wouldn't wait so long, but I wasn't ready even at that time. My Buddy was my first dog and after him I couldn't imagine having other than golden. You give yourself as much time as you need, we are all different and time frame is not the same for all of us. Please stay with us and tell us more about your Benji, maybe post some pictures of him. 
I will add Benji's name to the list: http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/grf-goldens-have-passed-yearly-list/124789-grf-goldens-passed-2013-list-5.html#post3444346


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## valibin (Jun 28, 2013)

I am so sorry for the loss of your Benji. I understand the way you feel.


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## FAL guy (Jun 11, 2012)

I am very sorry for your loss. These awesome dogs sure have figured out an easy path to our hearts, haven't they?


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Nic*

Nic

Everything you are feeling is totally normal. I am so sorry about Benji, you can tell how much you loved and cared for him. 
Don't feel that you can never get another Golden-Benji would want you to be happy and we love them all for different reasons-they are all individuals.
For my hubby and I, we can never STAND being without a dog! It helps us to heal.
Getting another dog is never replacing the one we lost, because that is impossible-it is a tribute to our love of them!


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## Benji blue (Sep 18, 2013)

Thank you all for your very very kind replies. I have just been for a walk as I'm off work with a really bad back and have been told to walk/exercise. I went for a walk where I used to walk Benji. I cried my eyes out as I was walking. It just didn't feel right without my baby by the side of me. God I miss him so much. Nic


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## Benji blue (Sep 18, 2013)

Oh how do you post a photo I would love to put a photo of Benji on the forum. Nic


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