# Considering returning 13 week old pup



## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

I'm sorry this is so stressful for you and your family. Most golden retriever puppies are far more work than any puppy I have ever owned. Most of the biting will go away with time and training but training won't stop there. If you aren't committed to serious training for the next year or two it's going to be a really tough situation for you. There is a big difference in a 13 wk puppy and a 60+ lb., out of control golden. They are wonderful dogs but take a great deal of time and training to get there. 
Maybe getting an older puppy or young adult would fit your family better. Only you know the answer to this.
If you are interested in learning about clicker training you can search youtube videos for kikopup and give it a try. She has one for biting and several on puppies in general. Get the kids on board as well, they should be a part of the training.
I'm sorry you have to make this decision, it's not an easy one to make. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.


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## LJack (Aug 10, 2012)

If he is from a responsible breeders who will take him back, I say yes. He is a baby that requires a ton of work. You most likely did not know that. Most families imagine a perfect puppy like a 5 year old in a puppy's body who wi be calm and nearly fully trained in a short amount of time. That is not what most Golden puppies are. He will grow up to be a great dog if someone believes in him and puts in the work. 

If you have given this all you have then yes give him back so the breeder can find a better fit for him. In the future you can find a better fit for you which sounds like an older dog.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

If you are seriously stressed about his behavior and feel like you have put everything you can into working on it, and are still considering returning him, I suggest you return him now rather than wait any longer so he can be placed with another family as young as possible.

I know it's really unpleasant, and you definitely want to curb the teeth on skin, but just to reassure you this is 100% normal for Golden puppies. They are nick named "land sharks" for that very reason. 

Golden Retrievers are "retrievers" and are born with the instinct to use their mouths on EVERYTHING more so than other breeds. In puppies that means using their mouth to play, explore, taste, eat, etc. He is playing with you and your son the way he would play with his littermates. he is behaving exactly as a puppy his age should.

Keep toys nearby and literally put them in the puppy's mouth when he starts the biting, encourage him to play with the toy instead of biting you and praise when he does. 

Get a puppy pen and separate the puppy from your children most of the time unless you are right there to supervise, you don't want to allow the puppy freedom to go after your kids, and you don't the puppy to "practice" biting either. Think of it like a play pen for a child, safe for the puppy and protects your child and your home from the puppy destruction.

Your puppy is not mean, and he is not aggressive. He's totally normal for his age. It is definitely something to work on and teach him to redirect that mouth to appropriate things. But he is not a bad puppy.

This is a really good article posted on the puppy section of this board. You can also find hundreds of threads about puppy biting and how to deal with it if you do a search in the puppy section of the forum.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/...t-problem.html (It's a Puppy, Not a Problem)


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## Golden_Gypsy (Dec 3, 2016)

We have a 5 month old Golden puppy and a 2 year old toddler. Golden puppies are definitely difficult to manage with young children. We are at a point now where our girl is losing her puppy teeth in exchange for her adult teeth. She's not nearly as bad with the biting as she was, but I'd be lying if I told you that we don't still have rough moments. 

However, the Golden in her is starting to shine through. She sits with us for nice long cuddles on the couch between her zoomies and biting episodes. She gives kisses and rarely leaves our side. I promise it gets better. 

I agree with LJack, though. If you're just done at this point, then it is only fair to the pup that you return him to your breeder if it's a responsible breeder. He's just a baby and still has lots of growing to do. He deserves to have someone who will have the patience necessary to teach him all of the things he needs to learn to grow into a good representative of the breed we all love so much. 

Good luck!


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

LJack said:


> ...*He will grow up to be a great dog if someone believes in him and puts in the work.*
> 
> *If you have given this all you have then yes give him back so the breeder can find a better fit for him.* ..


You've read my mind!


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Return him.

But don't rush to get another puppy right away. The next time you bring a puppy home, you want to be better prepared for the mouthing and having a normal puppy around the house. I'm horrified a little about somebody walking a 13 week old puppy even 1/2 a mile every day. The idea of walking 2 miles to me is over-exercise and I'm not even sure what the goal in exercising a puppy that much is unless you want a pup who is comatose around the house. That is not a great life for a puppy. 

Early on - the best exercise for a pup is going outside with you and the kids many times a day and being able to run-run-run and play outside in your backyard. At least 10-20 minute outings with you guys out there with the pup. Any time your pup gets hyped up inside the house - is clue to head outside, with you sitting on the ground and letting the pup run and play around you. The pup will learn that rough play time happens outside and they can be calm around the house. 

At 10+ weeks, they are teething and there will be extra mouthing and gremlin type behavior sometimes. An extra mouthy puppy as well is going to be a good retriever if you know how to really build on that.

One of our past dogs (Sammy) was so much a piranha pup that I literally remember him spinning and biting any hands or legs that went near him when he was worked up. This dog was also the same one who had 2 official bites (reported because they needed stitches) before he was 2 years old. <= This dog needed a long time to grow up and needed one person to zero in and work and bond especially with him. He was my oldest sister's teddy bear. She was the person who he ran to when he was scared (prime example of that was when the metal chair he was tied to fell over when somebody stood up and he tried to take off running around the house. He ended up having a metal chair chase him through the house.... and ran peeing and pooping into my sister's lap). My sister knew when to be upset and when to be the safe harbor for this dog. In that particular case, her clothes/legs/arms/hands were covered with pee and poop, but she did not get upset or angry at the pup. She laughed and got him calmed down to the extent that this same dog passed a CGC test (this was early on when the test was "new" and stuff was done a little differently) which involved him having to be tied to a metal chair. The incident did not turn into a phobia.

My sister and this dog slept together every night. They shared the same pillow at night. Every morning before she went to work (she was a teenager), she and he went outside and spent 1-2 hours every morning just being together. She came home from work and they were together nonstop. <= This is what builds bonds between a dog and their special person. This dog became one of our best dogs ever. After age 2 (keep in mind all of kids aligned ourselves together into a team to really work with him and keep him from biting ever again), he never once bit or growled at anyone. This dog lived to be almost 14 and literally today, I see bits and pieces of him in my current dogs (meaning me and my other siblings loved that dog so much that we are always seeing a little bit of him in the dogs that have come after - and it's endearing). 

It is a lot of work raising a puppy. I said the above with concern over the pup, and it's not a reason to feel bad yourself. My own parents would not be dog people themselves if they had to do all the work and deal with the "excesses" of a healthy young dog themselves. 

Yesterday, I was at a fun match and got to chit chat with a lady who is MUCH OLDER than my parents who is doing all the primary training and handling with her 8 year old girl. Her husband sat down and talked with her when this dog turned 8 and convinced her to get another golden puppy because he's so afraid of being without a dog if anything happened to this older girl. <= I'm personally in awe of these people because they are not physically strong and athletic AT ALL. The lady who is doing all the training has a very painful back and it means she's not very mobile. The pup they brought home, I know for a fact is a obedience bred dog.... so much more energetic and "busy" than a dog not bred for anything in particular. But she's not going to be walking the heck out of the dogs every day. And they are going to be just fine. <= But that is not for everyone. And again, my own parents would not deal very well if they had to raise a dog themselves. Many years ago before I was born... they had another dog who kept biting them, and bit my older siblings when they were babies. They got rid of that dog.

My older siblings were traumatized by that, I might add. Our parents were the bad guys to a certain extent because no matter what the reason, they had done something that was heartless in my older siblings eyes. It meant that when my parents finally consented to bring another dog home years later, we kids banded together to make sure that our dogs stayed forever. 

That is something you need to keep in mind going forward. Your kids are watching and learning from you. If they are mature and sensible enough, they are going to blame you when you get rid of their dog. You have to make sure that you do not do this to them ever again. And you also want to make sure you are teaching them the right thing when it comes to dogs or anything that is difficult or frustrating. You don't keep throwing things away when they don't work out. Love is patient and kind and given freely - and isn't always obviously returned. That is why you want to wait a few years before bringing a puppy home again. You want to make sure that you and your kids never go through the experience again.

Most golden retrievers start "clicking" between 7 months and 15 months. If you put the time and effort and work into a puppy steadily, it does pay off. That doesn't mean exercising a dog until he's exhausted. You shouldn't have to exhaust a dog in order to get him to settle down around the house. In most cases, you are going to be on the losing end of that. All the more so if you aren't home during the day. <= That is another consideration as far as whether getting a golden retriever is a good idea right now. If both you and your husband work during the day and the pup is sitting in a crate for 10-12 hours during the day and gets let out in the evenings - of course they are going to be full of it. There would be something physically wrong with your dog if he wasn't.


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## Swampcollie (Sep 6, 2007)

Return him ASAP!

As you have learned puppies do not come pre-trained from the factory. They require an enormous time commitment for teaching and training.


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## ThorDogofThunder (May 31, 2017)

How much sleep is the puppy getting? Our Thor gets a bit more bitey when he's over tired. For reference, we only walk him around the block (about 10 minutes) twice a day - he's 15 weeks and it seems enough for him as most of his exercise comes from mental training and garden play.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I read a book Golden Retrievers for Dummies before bringing home my first golden retriever. Scared the heck out of me, but put everything into perspective when I brought my land shark home. Your puppy is a normal golden retriever, and one of the hardest breeds of puppies to raise, especially if you have young children, it brings out a whole other side of them. Many puppies are so busy, that the bonding process does not start until they are closer to six months. I was exhausted during those first few months. Some puppies are more vocal in their growling and barking. It is the way they play and learn from their litter mates, and her thinks your family is his litter mate. You did say earlier that he was a singleton, right?

If you do not think you can handle him, please return him. If you got him from a reputable breeder, I am sure there is a wait list of somebody else that has the experience of a golden puppy or willing to take the time and effort needed. My breeder for my first golden, would not sell a puppy to families with children under 4 or somebody that has never raised a puppy before. When you have a puppy with young children, it brings in a whole different level of dynamics to the house. My children were experienced dog owners, and bringing that first land shark into the house was very hard on everybody. Our hands looked like hamburger meat, and all our clothes were ripped - but he did become the best dog in the world, and I now have five goldens.

Also, please stop walking him so far at this age. It is bad for his growing joints and bones. I have a 4 month old, I would not even walk her a mile at this age.


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## alphadude (Jan 15, 2010)

I had puppy that was very similar. The first year and a half were very rough. He turned out to be the best dog EVER. Unless you are willing to put in the work, and trust me, he will definitely require loads of time and work, then return him to the breeder.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

Puppies are hard work. I have had this convo a lot the last few days with someone wanting a puppy. Two kids age 1.5 and 4 months. She not once talks about having time to train the puppy. It's always how cute they are. People have been telling her to get a golden. They do not have time for a puppy. They are always traveling. Her response is well we will just board it.m

Bottom line is they are a ton of work. My niece was three when we got Chloe. On the days she came over Chloe was behind a babygate almost all day. We had to do this until Chloe was at least six months. At that time it started to get better. She is still a hyper but when the kids come over. But they are older now and know how to handle her. 

If you don't feel you want to take the time to train her and get her into classes by all means give her back. But if you take the time needed you will be rewarded in a few months with a wonderful dog.


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## GoldenDude (Nov 5, 2016)

Returning him to the breeder is a good idea. The puppy will eventually feel your frustration, making things even worse.

I echo the comments previous folks have made. Perhaps, you'd be happier with an older pup/adult Golden. They are out there and can be pricey. But the dog will be well beyond the biting phase and will be housebroken.


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

I am truly torn between telling you to return the puppy now or telling you to keep working at it. 
Here is why I feel this way:
1) I firmly believe that every dog that comes into my home is a commitment. A commitment no less than commitment I made when I married my husband some 30 years ago. We've been thru a heck of a lot together but neither of us ever tossed in the towel when things got rough. 
2) golden puppies are land sharks, pure plain and simple. You purchased a dog who was bred to retrieve. As a result a golden puppy will explore the world with his mouth first and foremost. This is bred into these dogs and it will not change. All you can do is accept that it exists and train your dog. 
3) all dogs need to be trained. I don't care if you have a 150 lb. Newfie or a 4 lb. Pomeranian ALL dogs need to be trained. Without it they become creatures which are, to put it nicely, very unpleasant to live with. Training is the key in dog ownership. It is the biggest part of it. Puppies, just like children, are not born knowing the rules. They have to be taught and if you are unwilling to spend the time, energy and expense to train a puppy you should not have one. You would not expect your child to know what is and what is not appropriate conduct at the age of 4 months. You can't expect your puppy to know either. In the case of dogs and children they are taught appropriate behavior. It is not instinctual in them. 
You have had this puppy for just over a month now. You say you are walking him 2 to 2.5 miles a day. Stop it. Stop it now. That is too far for a puppy that small to walk. You are risking damage to his joints and his body. He is a baby and can't handle that sort of distance. Take him out in your yard and play with him instead. Work with him on commands. Teach him to fetch. Walking that distance is not what he needs. You are not going to create a bond with your puppy by simply dragging him 2 miles on a leash.
Buy an X pen. You can find them cheap on Craigs list. Put your puppy in it when you can't supervise him directly. You do not want him to have access to your children when you are not present.
Start using toys. As others have said, when he goes to bite stick a soft toy in his mouth. Golden puppies are generally very fond of stuffed toys. 
I will tell you that my current golden, Bailey, was a handful and then some when he was a puppy. I am not a large woman and I am an older woman. Shortly after getting Bailey I had a doctor appointment and when I went into the doctor she noticed the bruises and cuts on my arms and hands. She was quite concerned that I was a battered woman. When I explained to her that I was a golden puppy owner she laughed and said she had been there and done that with her own golden retriever. They don't call them land sharks for nothing. 
When your dog jumps, appears he is going to bite or gives any indication he is going to begin to bite put a stuffy in his mouth. They can't bite when they have a mouth full of stuffed animal and they are usually distracted by the toy. You are going to teach him that a stuffy is appropriate to chew on but a person is not. It won't happen right away but he will catch on. I carried a stuffed chicken with me everywhere for well over a month. Yes, I looked silly but it worked. Time out in a crate if he still doesn't calm down. Not for a long period of time-- just a minute or two to settle him down. 
Enroll in a puppy class with a reputable trainer (NOT one at a big box pet store as they are useless). Train your dog. Involve your family. The best way to bond with a dog is thru training. Training it NOT something you do for a while. It is a process which is ongoing. My dogs are ages 2, 7 and 13. I train with them daily. 
If you commit to doing the training and understand that your dog is NOT misbehaving on purpose but because he needs to be trained I think you will see positive changes in your puppy. It takes time and it takes dedication. Whether your are willing to invest that time and dedication is up to you. If you are not then, as much as this goes against everything I believe, I would have to say to return your puppy. He deserves someone who loves him enough to patiently train him.


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## Larsbar79 (Mar 21, 2016)

TylerJack said:


> I am seriously considering returning our 13 week old pup. We've had him since 7 weeks. I haven't bonded with him once in that time. He snarls/growls and bites me and my husband, worried he might do the same to my 8 and 6 year old. It's definitely not a playful growl or nip! There's a difference. I have done a few things the puppy class trainer has suggested and has only helped a tiny bit.
> We can't sit with him in the evening, all he wants to do is bite us, not nip us.
> He is causing so much stress between us.
> He gets enough exercise....I walk him 3 times a day, 2-2.5 miles a day.
> ...


Oh my gosh I had the exact same situation! Its so hard to know what to do. We did give our pup back to the breeder after 3 weeks----you can find my old post in here somewhere. Yes there is a difference between "i'm just a puppy biting" and something else. Don't let people tell you different. I was eaten alive in this forum in my situation. It was so stressful. I'm so sorry it isn't working out with your pup. We have a different pup who we just got about a week ago--there is a big difference between this one and the one we gave back. You do what is best for you. If you haven't bonded by now, it probably won't happen.


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## Larsbar79 (Mar 21, 2016)

I second the stopping the long walks....it's too much for him. Some of this biting is probably from being too tired. Our pup now bites more when he is tired or overstimulated (being out and playing too long) and when he is hungry. Outside can be very stimulating.


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## Kalhayd (May 4, 2016)

Ultimately the decision is yours and what works best for your family. 

I will say your puppy is being a puppy & everything you've deccribed is normal. I'll also say how you feel is normal,too. 

If I can be completely honest, I was exhausted with our puppy when she was tiny. Her first 8 days were filled with chaos as she came to us sick. When she healed she was the most bity, stubborn, aloof pup, ever! Our first golden, my heart dog, was such a good pup I was honestly how shocked how she was! I guess it's kind of like kids, your first is so good, so you go for a second, and that baby has colic & doesn't act human until they're 6, lol! 

She wasn't velcro and honestly we didn't bond for a long time! We also had a lot going on- we had a death in our family, followed by my heart dog passing, and we were still trying to train our puppy manners. 

Now, looking back, I can't believe that wild baby was our sweet girl now. She's only 15 months old, but she and I(and our whole family) are bonded strong. She's velcro and smart and patient and perfect. She's a good, good, girl. It took a lot(READ A LOT) of training and patience and repeat to get us here.... but I can't imagine if we had given up. We love that little ball of fluff! 

I hope you take some solice in knowing you're not alone. That your puppy needs structure and guidance and they'll get there! Sending hugs!


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## aesthetic (Apr 23, 2015)

Larsbar79 said:


> If you haven't bonded by now, it probably won't happen.


I really really disagree with this. 

My current boy is my first golden ever. Let me preface this by saying he was the best puppy, any of those issues that seem to spring up a lot in the puppy forum (resource guarding, destructive puppy, health issues, countersurfing,etc.) we just never had with him. He even stopped putting everything in his mouth at 14 weeks! However, he was a straight terror about mouthing until he was a good 9 months. A large part of the problem I think, was just me being a novice dog handler who did not know how to handle the problem in a way my dog could understand. I had read up on training dogs and specifically golden retriever landsharkyness but nothing really prepared me for the reality. Kaizer loved Bitter Apple Spray, he got spurred on even more by yelping, shoving a toy (any type, it didn't matter. squeaky ones, which he loved, stuffed ones, chew toys) didn't work. If I tethered him for a couple minutes (didn't have a crate downstairs at the time), he went right back to biting me as soon as he was released. The worst of it was between 5 and 7 months. He destroyed nearly all the shirts I own, and I have multiple scars on my hands and thighs from me. After 7 months, the amount of times he'd bite me in a day decreased until 9 months when it became a nonissue. There was absolutely no bond (on my part anyway lol) between Kaizer and I until he was at least 12 months lol. I remember one particular incident where I sit down and cried because Kaizer kept going after me. I did not have the most positive feelings towards him, but I absolutely refused to return him. In my head, I figured that since he's my first dog, it's my fault for not knowing what to do in this situation. Let me clarify and say he is not aggressive, never has been. All I remember from that period of time is him constantly biting me. My brother, my dad, my mom and any strangers he met would have completely different memories of that time.

Now he's 2. I can say with full confidence now that he is the best dog for me. I do not know where I'd be if I had given up on him a year ago. The bond I wanted for so long finally formed. Every single morning, he greets me with a happy wagging tail and a prompt sit for pets and love. After our training session, he comes to wherever I am and follows me around until I sit, so he can lie on my feet or next to me. Whatever he chooses always involves him actively touching me in some form. If I get up, he follows me wherever I go. If we're outside and I leave my backyard to throw away some poop or get the mail or get a toy, he'll lie down next to the fence gate and wait for me to come back. When he's nervous or unsure, the first person he comes to is me. As I type this, he is lying down next to me (nearly on top of my lap) almost asleep. I'm a novice trainer (I don't know how to teach 75% of what I want him to learn) but whatever I try to teach him, he picks up quickly despite the numerous mistakes I make. He is quick to forgive me for my mistakes and help me learn from them. Even my dad this morning said that out of anyone in my family, it seems like Kaizer loves me the most. Kaizer is not perfect, he is wild, spazzy and kinda idiotic, especially in public, but he is the most perfect dog for me. It only took me close to a year to realize that. So yes, I really disagree with this statement. The time it takes for a person and an animal to bond completely depends on the individuals in question. Bonding can happen at any time.

OP - I had a dog that sounds like yours. It took a lot of time, patience, training and effort to get the dog I have now. He still needs more time, patience, training and effort (the training never stops), but he's so much better than he was a year ago. If you're not up to it, and that's fine, please do return your puppy as soon as possible. Some people/families are not cut out to be puppy owners.


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## FosterGolden (Mar 10, 2014)

Return him. Don't get another puppy, at least not a retriever, as this is fairly normal retriever puppy behavior. There are variations in temperament, but you really never know what you'll get as a pup can take after a grandparent vs. a parent, etc. You would be better off with a different breed or an older dog, maybe a retired show/breeding dog from a reputable breeder.


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## Leslie B (Mar 17, 2011)

So you have had the pup for 6 weeks and you have seriously been considering returning him for HALF of that time??? There is a lot of good advise on how to deal with a golden puppy here but I think that your heart is not into this puppy. Perhaps not any puppy. Unless you want to commit to the process of puppy training then you should return the puppy so he can get into a home that would be a good fit for him.

Don't feel bad and don't feel like you have to tough it out and keep him forever. He will be better off in a home that understands him and give him the boundaries and training that he needs.


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## littlecreek86 (May 1, 2017)

My two cents, without judgement (and I'm not going to tell you what decision to make) : Golden puppies are probably the hardest puppies to train and raise. Our now 14 month old boy golden is our first dog ever, and it was challenging especially given that we live in an apartment. There were days when we questioned our decision to get this puppy, but we kept going and it has been worth the effort. And he is the epitome of land shark. In fact, his biting and jumping habits have only recently dwindled with intensive training. As a puppy, we always kept him in his x-pen when we couldn't supervise him, and gave him short bursts of time outside the pen for play/potty/training. Like others have said, walking your puppy 2-2.5 miles is too much at this time. 15 mins burst of play are probably all he can handle now. Mental games are better - it's hard to get a puppy's attention, but my husband and I worked together to each have treats and semi-hide in different parts of the room and called our puppy to us and treated him. This was a good set up for recall training, and hide and seek, and we also then graduated to some beginning nose work with getting him to find treats around the house. We always kept the training sessions short. And always ended with lots of treats and praise. We also went with a personal trainer who could work one on one with our pup (since it was our first dog and we felt we needed this support). Then when he was older we did another group class.
I would definitely say our puppy was on the more difficult end of the spectrum of goldens out there, and he is still a work in progress, but I think our lives would be infinitely poorer without him in it.


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## BarkWin (Apr 5, 2017)

I bet the pup is exhausted! That's too much walking for him. 

Mine has scheduled naps and if he doesn't get them it ramps up the biting so much. I can see how someone might think it's aggression (it's not, it's puppy play). Nap time does wonders for him when he's like this.

I don't know if you should return him. But nothing you've written is out of the ordinary for a golden puppy. Yes some people get lucky and have an easier time. But more often than not you have to put the effort in and be CONSISTENT to get results. 

If you do return him, please don't get another puppy (or if you do spend a LONG time researching prior to doing it). 

I have my 11 week old enrolled in puppy obedience. We've had three sessions. It really does help build a bond and it creates a sense of pride in him when he is able to complete his tasks and learn.

No he isn't perfect. I'm bruised and cut up. My legs are a horror story! He has ripped so many of my shirts and clothes. My yard is a hole-y mess and I've spent a lot of time cleaning up pee in the house (my favorite is when he RUNS through it spreading the mess all over haha). 

The other day he bit my hand so hard it ripped open a cut I had on my hand and I was gushing blood. As I ran into the kitchen to get something to stop the bleeding, he followed me and proceeded to pee all over the floor. So yeah it's frustrating and hard work but I knew it would be.

Good luck with whatever choice you make.


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## Mayabear (Aug 26, 2015)

I'll be frank with you, because a little over 2 years back I was in the same situation as you, minus having kids. Golden retrievers are known to be the best family dogs bar none, and that is true. But first time owners, like myself 2 years back, fall into the mental trap of thinking they are born that way. Obviously, couldn't be further than the truth. They are mouthy, bratty, always looking to get their mouths on something other than their toys. They are like children that need constant guidance and re direction. That takes a mental and physical toll on people and relationships.

I always wanted a golden. My wife, not so much. I prevailed, but guess who got stuck working from home with the land shark?! I knew how stressed she was, esp not being a dog lover like me. There was tension, I used to literally run to the train at 5 pm sharp every workday to get home as quickly as possible to "relieve" my wife of her watch. There was constant nipping, clothes tore, furniture was destroyed - our condo that was kept in impeccable condition was now in disarray.

Fast forward 2 years, and Maya is now the kind of golden you want. Ready to play no matter what time of day, but content to snuggle with you on the couch if needed. She still has her crazy moments, but our lives are so much better because she is in it. I tell my wife, waking up in the morning has become easier, cause I am greeted by unconditional love no matter what.

I cannot tell you what to do. Our situation did not involve children. I can see that being an issue. What I will say is that if you see out this phase, train patiently and consistently and using positive reinforcement, you will see changes as your dog matures. Remember, they are only doing what comes naturally to them. 

Good luck - I hope for a happy ending for your family and your dog, whatever that may be.


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## Anne Y. (Jan 6, 2017)

I just want to echo what Mayabear has said. I could have written much of that myself. There were days after bringing Bodhi home that I just wanted to curl up in a ball and either hide or cry. And he wasn't a landshark, but he had his own set of...quirks. I also wondered for a split second in those days if we'd maybe made a mistake. And I wondered if we'd ever really bond. 

I can't and won't tell you what to do, but I will tell you that if you decide to keep your pup that with consistent training and perseverance (and a lot of patience) that the landshark phase will lessen more and more, and the bond between you will deepen. It just takes time. It takes time and it takes you digging in your heels, gritting your teeth and refusing to give up. Constant training, set boundaries, take time for yourself and remind yourself often that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep at it. I have a magnet on my fridge that says, "When you're going through hell, just keep going." I looked at that a lot when we brought Bodhi home.

If you decide that the right thing for you, your family and your puppy is to give him up to a home that may be able to better deal with him, then good for you for being honest about the situation and for recognizing and being willing to do the right thing for everyone. Puppyhood is not for everyone, plain and simple. Especially with retriever etc. breeds, not to mention it sounds like you got one who's...sassy. 

Only you knows what is best for everyone in your household. Best of luck, and let us know what happens. We're here for you.


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## Sarah Sousa (Jun 22, 2017)

I have a 15 week old male who is pretty mouthy and nippy. He's also teething now so we seem to have regressed a bit. I agree with the previous comments that your pup probably needs a nap when he's super nippy. It's hard to tell the difference between excess energy and overwhelm sometimes, but if you've walked him he probably needs to settle down and sleep. My other bit of advice is to watch the amount of protein in his food. A lot of people go grain-free. We're feeding Natural Balance limited ingredient right now because my pup has a sensitive stomach. The percentage of protein is in the low 20s. When I've fed him a food with protein content percentage in the high 20s (Taste of the Wild, etc) there's a noticeable increase in bratty behavior. He gets more insistently nippy, generally stubborn and difficult to deal with, he also sleeps less and seems to have inexhaustible energy. Again, I know a lot of people believe in grain-free and higher protein, but this is what I've noticed in my own pup and I've read about it in others. He's not lethargic or constantly sleepy on the lower protein food, just a bit more chilled out and pleasant to be around.
My pup is not crate trained. He sleeps on the bedroom floor on his bed at night and hangs out in the kitchen unless someone is with him in other rooms. The kitchen is like his crate. If the family is milling around he won't settle down and sleep. We all have to leave the room for a few minutes and then he's out like a light. 
All of that said, I know exactly how you feel. I've had puppies in the past but notice that this time around is particularly challenging. My boys are older, but still I feel as though my life has been taken over by a puppy! I'm trying to find a happy balance. There's not much housekeeping getting done either. Best of luck to you whatever you choose to do. Don't beat yourself up over it.


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## aesthetic (Apr 23, 2015)

I hope the OP updates us soon. I would like to know what his ultimate decision was.


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## SJRdmn (Jun 8, 2017)

We cannot make that decision for you but if you've read all of the replies, you should know that you're not in this boat alone. A puppy is a puppy. They are always frustrating in the beginning. I feel like you really should have known this. It does, however, get better with time. 
A puppy at that age cannot be expected to sit and relax with you on the couch. Nor should they be expected to walk 2+ miles per day, under any circumstances.

I wonder if maybe a puppy just isn't right for you or your family. I would suggest a senior dog but I would hate for you to decide it isn't working out and wish to return them as well. 
If I were in your shoes, I would either gain some patience and realize that he IS a puppy, he will have many flaws but that he will probably grow up to be a great dog, or I would return him and NOT get another puppy until I have done all the research possible and then some. Puppies are not an item that you can just return or exchange like a t-shirt at Target.

When we first got our golden Penny at 8 weeks she was VERY mouthy. She also jumped on us, including our two year old, constantly. My husband hated her. He thought she was the worst dog ever. I saw potential. She's six months old now and often times, she's my favorite thing on Earth. Now, she wouldn't dare nip at our son nor does she jump on him. She mouths me here and there but she does so gently and in a playful manner. Mouths are a main source of communication for dogs. This is the only way they have to interact. She jumps on me when she gets a bit too excited but gets down immediately when I say so.
Penny is wonderful and while she was a HUGE pain in the beginning, I wouldn't trade her for the world nor could I imagine my life without her. I have deeply bonded with her in the short time we've had her. She follows me everywhere I go and is napping beside me on the couch right now. 
I recommend spending some one on one time with the puppy to solve your bonding problems. Take him on a trip to the pet store. Let everyone in the store fawn over him. I can almost guarantee that you will swell and beam with pride and have a new love for him. 
Bring him with you to run errands that don't require you to leave the car. Roll down the window and watch his goofy tongue and furry ears flop in the wind.

I hope that you make the right decision for the puppy and for your family.


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## PacGrove (Jun 11, 2017)

I remember similar difficulties with our golden puppy 14 years ago. He was my second dog, the first one had been a boxer many years ago, and I do not remember any problems with him. Our golden retriever, however, was a land shark. There was a period when we literally could not cross the living room or the backyard without our feet attacked. Bitter Apple, vinegar spray - he loved them, instead of being repelled! There were several weeks when I quietly wondered if I got a dog with a canine version of ADHD! Once he got all the shots, we did two things. One, we started going to puppy school, where the trainer taught me to issue sharp sounds when he bit me - like a mother dog does in such situations. It had a magic impact, and this sound would be the best "no" command to T-Bone for the rest of his life. The second thing was unique to our the small town where we live, three minutes drive from a real forest, where dogs are allowed off-leash. T-Bone began to walk and play with adult dogs, and I am sure that any attempt to practice his biting on them taught him that the idea was not that good. By about five months the biting was over, and friendly jumping continued until he was about 10 months old and as large as goldens get. I must say that these dogs feel people's attitude very well, and your irritation and perception that he is attacking you (have you ever watched a documentary about dogs or wolves - this is how they play, snarling and baring their teeth, and pretending to attack?), and your inability to bond with him even for a minute is having an impact on the puppy. We went through this land shark period, and it was difficult - but we did not think for a second about giving T-Bone away. Indeed, he turned into a most wonderful companion and friend, was with us for nearly fourteen years, and we miss him every day.


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## TylerJack (Jan 21, 2017)

Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post. It is greatly appreciated and helped a lot. 
We still have Rolo! We have changed a few things and we've had a really good week. My 8 year old has stepped up and has been a big help! And my husband has started helping more too. His nipping was so much better this week and the kids could actually play with him, hug and kiss him! I realize he's going to have good and bad days with teething.
I took everyone's advice and I cut out one walk a day. 
Thank you again to everyone who took the time to reply.


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## Macca (Aug 11, 2011)

I have followed this thread and am so glad to hear that things are going better. You are absolutely right that he will have good days and bad days. The "problem child" puppies can turn out to be the greatest dogs! I went through a lot of the same things. If you get a chance, post a photo of Rolo!


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## TylerJack (Jan 21, 2017)

Trying to add a picture....can't figure it out!


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## kellyguy (Mar 5, 2014)

TylerJack said:


> Trying to add a picture....can't figure it out!


Choose "go advanced"
click on the paperclip at the top.
"browse" to the photo on your computer.
hit upload and wait for the upload to complete.
preview the post and then submit post.


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## kellyguy (Mar 5, 2014)

Larsbar79 said:


> If you haven't bonded by now, it probably won't happen.


I'd disagree with that.
My wife actually stated that our puppy Duffy lacked the gene that most goldens have that make them want to please their owners because he seemed determined to not be house broken for what seemed forever and his destructive chewing of throw rugs and a few other things.

The reality was that our routine was somewhat haphazard due to my having to travel frequently for my job and she was working nights.

It had been decades since either of us had a puppy under six months old and we made many training mistakes, and some successes.

Realizing that for the first 6 to 8 months that puppies body and brain are developing at a wild pace and they need constant training and supervision to mitigate their ability to get into mischief goes a long way towards delivering that wonderful dog that they will become.

Bonding seems to occur almost magically at some point, and it's going to be different with every dog.
Having the added chaos of very young children has to limit the amount of time you can devote strictly to training, and from past experience, children can teach dogs undesirable behavior by encouraging them to jump on people just by the natural way that kids and dogs play.
They are great for keeping the puppy exercise level up, as long as everyone reinforces the 'no biting" training routines.

By 8 months my puppy started to become the dog we wanted. We're still working on some things, but he's definitely bonded.


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## PacGrove (Jun 11, 2017)

TylerJack said:


> Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post. It is greatly appreciated and helped a lot.
> We still have Rolo! We have changed a few things and we've had a really good week. My 8 year old has stepped up and has been a big help! And my husband has started helping more too. His nipping was so much better this week and the kids could actually play with him, hug and kiss him! I realize he's going to have good and bad days with teething.
> I took everyone's advice and I cut out one walk a day.
> Thank you again to everyone who took the time to reply.


I am very glad to hear this! Trust me, you will bond with the puppy and he will be your best friend for many years!:smile2:


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

I am glad that you posted and very glad to hear that you are keeping Rolo (what a cute name!). There will be good days in your future with him and bad days. I remember the good days with Bailey well...that sweet adoreable, sleepy puppy curled up in my lap sound asleep...and the bad days equally well. The day he destroyed a new $400 dollar pair of leather boots (I hadn't even worn them yet). Or the day DH "forgot" we had a puppy and while I was gone Bailey destroyed our new couch. There were ups and downs for us. There are for everyone. You will have days where you question your sanity for having gotten a puppy but, eventually, life will calm down. Rolo will grow up and you WILL look back and laugh at the puppy times. Believe me when I say that. Now, 2 years later, I can laugh about Bailey destroying the new couch...if only because of the response of DH after I discovered the damage, "I forgot we had a puppy". Who forgets that?!?! LOL. 
So a few helpful hints for those bad days (and I am sure others will have great ideas for you if you ask):
1) put your favorite shoes away. In a closet. With the door shut. So far as I know puppies have not yet developed opposable thumbs and are unable to open a closet door (I truly wish someone had told me this as I "lost" over $1,000. 00 worth of shoes to Bailey)
2) A crate is essential to the sanity of any puppy owner. Need I say more?
3) Teething means chewing. Lots of chewing because it eases the pain for your puppy. Invest in a Kong. Fill it with peanut butter and toss it in your freezer. It keeps them occupied and helps with the pain of teething. Other things which will help are damp wash cloths in the freezer, cold carrots (not the baby kind tho) and apples (sliced with no seeds). Puppies will chew so it's good to be prepared with the above items.
3) A sense of humor is absolutely essential to a puppy owner. Without it I think we would lose our minds. Remember, and repeat to yourself often, "this too shall pass".
4) A good trainer. This is one of the most essential items in a puppy's life and yours. I have had at least 2 dogs and usually 3 in my home for over 40 years. I have a trainer on speed dial because even after 40 years there are things that I have needed help with. Asking for help is not a weakness. It is a sign of a good owner. A good trainer and excellent veterinarian are worth their weight in gold.
5) know that if you run into problems you can post here. Between all of the members here there is a tremendous amount of knowledge and experience available to you. It's just a post away available pretty much 24/7.
6) I am so glad you are making it work with Rolo. I wish you the absolute best. Congratulations of being a new golden mom I can't wait to watch him grow up in your family!


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## Romeo1 (Apr 19, 2008)

Macca said:


> I have followed this thread and am so glad to hear that things are going better. You are absolutely right that he will have good days and bad days. *The "problem child" puppies can turn out to be the greatest dogs! * I went through a lot of the same things. If you get a chance, post a photo of Rolo!


Agree 100%. I had similar situation with my now 3 yr old girl and she is the smartest and best dog ever. My older dog had a different personality as a puppy, so naturally I expected her to be just as laid back. But she was a pistol, biting me and chewing up the carpet. I seriously thought she was 'aggressive'. I stuck it out and am SO glad I did as she couldn't be a better dog. The payoff for my hanging in there has been remarkable.


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## Gleepers (Apr 20, 2016)

Romeo said:


> Macca said:
> 
> 
> > I have followed this thread and am so glad to hear that things are going better. You are absolutely right that he will have good days and bad days. *The "problem child" puppies can turn out to be the greatest dogs! * I went through a lot of the same things. If you get a chance, post a photo of Rolo!
> ...


Here too. I'm only 15 mo in and had a trainer tell me the other day that Penny was going to an excellent obedience dog some day. 
My Penny?!? Ok some days I can see it. 
I just keep remembering my last dogs and the $1000.00 of dollars in possessions lost and that I couldn't even walk them solo for the first 4 years. (Not Goldens mind you) and what I wouldn't have given for just a little more time with them in the end.


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## Anne Y. (Jan 6, 2017)

So glad to hear that Rolo is still with you and that things seem to be looking up! It will continue to get easier with time and training. Best of luck!


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

So happy to hear that things are getting better. Somebody once told me that there is a reason why God creates Golden Retriever puppies so cute - SURVIVAL! I used to have people stop me in public telling me, don't worry it gets better.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

cubbysan said:


> So happy to hear that things are getting better. Somebody once told me that there is a reason why God creates Golden Retriever puppies so cute - SURVIVAL! I used to have people stop me in public telling me, don't worry it gets better.


I still find myself telling new Golden puppy owners all the time that it just gets better every day! :smile2: It truly does, in so many ways!


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