# Do you just... move on?



## alligeek (Nov 4, 2007)

It's been 6 months, and sometimes I still get choked up and teary-eyed when I think about Abby. 

We've grieved. I've grieved. While I can look back and remember what a good friend she was and smile, I still get angry that she died so young at 8. It still hurts that she's gone. 

We're getting a puppy next week. It's bittersweet--while I'm looking forward to having a Golden around again, I feel overwhelmed at times when I think about starting over with a puppy. Abby was a great dog--well behaved, gentle, and easygoing. I don't want to compare our new dog to her, as that's not fair. 

Any words of advice?


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

So sorry for your loss of Abby. No other dog will ever be just like her or take her place but your new pup will have his own special gifts. Taking care of him and training him will help fill the emptiness left by your loss of Abby. Hopefully before you know it you'll love him just as much. With our second Golden I've tried to avoid comparison. She's much different from the first and we've loved them both.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

We don't move on as in forgetting and leaving it behind. We put one foot in front of the other and just keep going. I cry every day, not quite 2 months. 

We will get our puppy in about 3 more months. Our Penny was like your Abby...comfortable like an old shoe. She was so much a part of us that I think she thought she was a person. So easy to be with.

I'm a little nervous about the puppy, too. It's a lot to start again and it will be a while before Mr. Darcy is an 'old shoe'. But...we need to laugh again, we need to cuddle a fur face again, we need to take a Golden for a walk again, we need to take a Golden to the beach again. We need a Golden...life is too empty without one.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

We lost Jesse in March and we already had Tayla. She was 1.5 years old. What I can say is she was a huge help in preventing the overwhelming grief we felt when Cheyenne died the previous year and all we had was another senior who was happy to sleep the day away. Its so hard to be sad and cry when you have a goofy dog wanting your time and attention. You will compare, but try not to because the new dog always comes up lacking and they are your new beginning and future. Its never going yo be the same, but that isn't always a bad thing.


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## Bob-N-Tash (Feb 24, 2008)

just take one day at a time.... 

Right now you and the puppy are strangers to each other...one day you two will enjoy a comfortable and familiar routine. That will take time. Along the way you will find yourself laughing at the antics of your new friend.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

As someone who lost the heart dog almost 29 months ago and was posting this morning on 2 years old his Bridge thread and crying for an hour, and has Charlie who just turned a year, brought home 18 months after my Buddy left me, the only peace of advice I can give you is do not force anything. Do not force love and bond and cease of your grief. Accept new one like new experience and new adventure. He will do some things that will remind you on your sweet Abby but he will be special on his own way. He will be great, teach you new things, give you new prospective on life. You just need time and everything will be fine.


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## the S team (Dec 8, 2009)

I have zero advice as we are kind of in the same predicament. I just stared another thread on the topic. It i wanted you to know you are not alone with these jumbled feelings. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## KeaColorado (Jan 2, 2013)

When we got Kea, I soon began to wonder how we ever lived without her, and now I wish Daphne and Ellie were still here to know her too. I still miss them.

Amazingly, there was enough room in my heart to love another dog. The heart makes room for more love, opens up more space somehow. A new puppy helped me heal. I bonded with her immediately, but interestingly, it took her awhile to bond with us. She is not like our other dogs, who were very strongly attached to me. Kea is a free spirit, a lover of all humans. She is different and unique, yet inherently perfect for us.


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. Many of us have been there, and therefore give heartfelt condolences knowing how crushing it is to lose someone we love so much. They are like kids. It's very emotional to lose someone you love so much because we miss their presence in our daily lives.

My wife and I have adopted, loved, and lost many dogs. None of them were replaced, so to speak, and all of them were different with their own unique personalities. The love we've had for all of them has never faded. 

We lost our fourth rescue golden, Andy, 6 months ago. My wife and I smile much of the time when we talk about what a wonderful boy he was, but with a sigh .. and sometimes tears. Much like Bob Cratchit and family over Christmas dinner as the Ghost Of Christmases To Come shows Scrooge Tiny Tim's empty chair and his crutch hanging on the hook. We still grieve his loss. Eventually, as we've done before, we'll adopt another rescue. We view it as a way to honor the memories and lives of those who've passed. Passing on the gift of a good life to another dog is what Andy, for instance, would want.

We've been through this before, as you have. It's always been a brand new experience with a new dog ... the thrill of new love in the house, the laughs from their unique attributes and antics and all that. 

If you aren't sure about going through the puppy thing, consider adopting from a golden retriever rescue. They're already grown, you get a sense of their personalities. Even the most abused turn back into love sponges given time, patience, and love. I went to an annual picnic for our local rescue. I've never been kissed so much in my life!! Man, did it feel good. The adoptable dogs ranged in ages from 7 or 8 months to 11 or 12 years old. Someone for everyone.

I wish you the best in the angels bringing you just the right boy or girl into your lives. You'll feel, as we did, those who wait in Heaven are beeming from ear to ear with happiness for both the dog and the people they love.


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Just after I clicked "Send" on my previous post, little Ollie, who was a feral dog not far from death when we chased him down and caught him at Christmas last year, jumped in my lap for some cuddling. It's taken him awhile to feel confident, but now he's trusting us completely and seeking love and affection. It's a blessing to witness the transformation a little love, patience, food, and fun bring about in any dog who didn't have a good beginning. Right now I have him in the crook of my arm on his back as I gently pet his belly. He just fell asleep 

Ya, I know from my own experiences we pass on the love those who've gone leave in our hearts without ever losing the love we have for them.


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## Sarah~ (Sep 16, 2013)

I got my German shepherd when he was 12 weeks old about a year and a half after Shiva died, it was hard since Shiva was literally my perfect dog and then I lost her and I knew I would be starting over. But the minute I had Eko in my arms and he looked up at me I knew I wasn't going to regret it, he's not Shiva but the love is the same. I don't know if I am ready for another golden yet I still hurt and miss her but I hope to get to that point someday.


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## alligeek (Nov 4, 2007)

Thank you everyone. It's a big comfort to know that I'm not alone, but at the same time I'm sorry that you all have been through this.I am looking forward to having a puppy. It's just going to take some time for us to bond. Over the next weeks, I just need to remember that. 

As I pull out Abby's old crate and bowls, there's a spark of excitement along with the sadness--I know you can all relate.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

We do "move on" in the sense that life does go on for us that are left behind, but that doesn't mean that we forget.

When we lost Kelly our first golden I did say no more because I didn't want to face the heartbreak again, but when it got to the point that I couldn't go into the house because there was no golden greetings hubby took matters into his own hands and we went out one Sunday and came home with Ginny. Did I regret it - no, did I feel guilty - yes at times, especially when Ginny did something that would make us laugh again, but Ginny gave us (well me probably) a reason to get up in the morning, to laugh and go out again. There are times when we compare Quinn & Reeva to our other dogs - I think that is human nature.

We have sent 4 goldens to the bridge, and they are always in my thoughts and forever in my heart.

Take your time, and when your new pup arrives if you feel you need to cry then do it - many tears have and are still shed in our house over those we have lost


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I can relate also, it's very bittersweet. 

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Abby, I know she was very special and you shared a very unique bond and love.

As others have said, each dog is different, I don't think you can replace one with another, they each hold a very special place in your heart and bring something special to your life. 

I lost my old gold boy 2.5 years ago, we were very fortunate to have him in our lives for 15.5 years. I had gotten him as a pup. 

A few weeks after he passed, I found a young golden boy at my County Humane Society. We weren't ready for this boy, but I also have a Golden girl who is a former puppy mill mom that will always need to be with another dog. She was grieving the loss of her brother as much as we were. She had started to withdraw-it was really sad to see what she was going through. 

I brought this young boy home, I had forgotten how active a young dog is. He fit in like he'd always been with us. He has brought so much love and joy back into our lives. 

I hope your new pup will do the same for you. 

Our old guy as well as all the other dogs I've had in my life will always hold a special place in my heart and will never be forgotten. I chose to open my heart again so I could experience the love and joy another dog brings to my life. For me, life is not complete unless I have at least a couple of dogs in it.

Enjoy your new baby and let your heart heal.


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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

Yes we do move on but they are always with us in our hearts. We lost Gromit a year ago august and just this morning I woke up thinking about him and missing him. I am now able to look at his pictures and smile and remember him without the raw pain there was before. It does get better with time. A new puppy will help heal your heart. I think your concerns about comparing will lessen once you have your new baby home and you get to know each other. The love will follow quickly as how can it not with such an amazing breed How long before you bring your puppy home?


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## alligeek (Nov 4, 2007)

Thank you everyone. We're bringing our new puppy home tomorrow! I see that in some ways I'll always miss Abby, but I'm very excited and ready to have another Golden join the family.


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## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

I don't know that you ever fully move on. It's been just over 5 years since my Harry died and I still get choked up from time to time thinking about him, but loving his memory doesn't take away from the love I have for my girls. Just remember you aren't replacing Abby with a new dog, you are finding new love for a new dog.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Puppy*



alligeek said:


> Thank you everyone. We're bringing our new puppy home tomorrow! I see that in some ways I'll always miss Abby, but I'm very excited and ready to have another Golden join the family.


Can't wait to hear about your puppy! We all have NO CHOICE but to move on, but we NEVER FORGET and never stop loving the ones that we've lost. 
Now you will build a "RELATIONSHIP," with your pup and Abby will be smiling down from the Bridge!


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Congratulations! Tomorrow will be so exciting. Can't wait for the puppy pictures. A 'scratch and sniff" puppy breath would be nice too...if only! lol Get a good night's sleep.


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## alligeek (Nov 4, 2007)

Thank you so much, everyone. I was interviewing a dog trainer yesterday and she said something that made me stop and think: I hadn't let Abby "go" yet. She believes that dogs' souls cannot rest until their owners make peace with their passing.

I'm not sure whether I agree with that or not (I hadn't thought of it that way), but I do know that Abby was happiest when we were happy. She'd hate it if I didn't move on and find another dog to love. There is most definitely room in my heart for another dog. 

This afternoon we brought our new puppy, Chewbacca, home. I'm already in love with him. A part of me will always miss Abby, but I looked at this little guy and the sadness was gone.


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