# Regret



## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Let me start this post off by saying I 100% know this will get better within the next couple of weeks/months, but I kind of just want to vent and hopefully people can say they've been through the same thing after getting their puppy. It'll reassure me knowing that the feeling is "normal" and it'll pass eventually.

I got my Cooper on May 27th, about a week and a half ago. He's such a good boy. He sleeps through the night, waits patiently for his food, doesn't chew up as many things as I thought he would, and only has had a handful of accidents (no more than 10 of them). 

So why the heck am I feeling so much guilt and regret??

They come in such short bursts. One second I'm happy I have him, and the next second I regret it TERRIBLY. I'm more relieved and relaxed when he's in his crate for his naps than when he's awake and nibbling on my arms and hands. 

I have terrible depression, and I'm on meds for it and everything. Change is super hard for me to adjust to, and obviously getting a puppy is a HUGE change. I'm 19, so I still live with my family, and I have a job. My parents watch him while I'm gone, and he's super good with them, but it's just. Idk. I'm stressed but he's not giving me any reason to be stressed. I couldn't ask for a better pup. He's so much better behaved than I thought; I was expecting the worst. 

I went from going to bed at 1-2 in the morning and waking up at noon, to going to bed no later than 11, and waking up at 7 AM sharp.

I went from just sitting on my computer all day, kind of hiding from the world, to being active and going outside and coming out of my "cave".

I only have one best friend, and I'm paranoid that me having Cooper will prevent me from ever seeing her again. I love her to death and she helps keep me positive. I know it's a stupid fear, and my parents are more than happy to watch him if I have to go anywhere for a short amount of time, but still...

I just feel so exhausted... But he's not a bad dog at all. He's such a good puppy (based on a lot of the horror stories I've heard) and I know for a fact this feeling will pass, but I just don't know when.

I just wish I knew where these feelings came from. I knew puppies were a huge responsibility, and the responsibility part is what isn't stressing me out, it's just the sudden change in routine and I just. Feel chained to him, I guess. If that makes sense.

I am 100% capable of caring for him, and I 100% will not return him. I give him 90% of my time (the other 10% is when he's napping) every day and he's such a joy to be around. I don't feel that "bond" yet, but I do care about him.

I just get confused when I feel fine one second, but then the next second I'm crying my eyes out wishing I never got him in the first place.

Can anyone give me some reassurance?  I feel so selfish for saying these things but I know the feeling will pass. I'm just so tired today and wanted to vent.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Krissi*



Krissi2197 said:


> Let me start this post off by saying I 100% know this will get better within the next couple of weeks/months, but I kind of just want to vent and hopefully people can say they've been through the same thing after getting their puppy. It'll reassure me knowing that the feeling is "normal" and it'll pass eventually.
> 
> I got my Cooper on May 27th, about a week and a half ago. He's such a good boy. He sleeps through the night, waits patiently for his food, doesn't chew up as many things as I thought he would, and only has had a handful of accidents (no more than 10 of them).
> 
> ...


Depression is such a difficult thing to go through at any age. I think you are a very wise person to talk about your feelings-that is admirable. I think a lot of what you are feeling is completely normal. Dogs are a HUGE COMMITMENT and it's like having a perpetual 2 year old child, no matter how good Cooper is. Why don't you invite your friend over to spend time with you and Cooper. It also would be great if your parents are willing to watch him if you want to go see her for a few hours.

I can only speak for myself, and I'm much older than you, I'm in my 60's! Sometimes, I feel if only we could move, or if I had another house, or a different job, or another dog, I'd be happier and of course that doesn't happen, because I have to be happy on the inside. Maybe your expectations were different than the reality. It is wonderful to hear how much you love Cooper. I've felt that way about every dog I've ever had, whether they were adopted, or from a breeder.

Change is a hard thing, even if it's for the better. In no time, you'll get used to your new time to go to sleep and get up. Sounds very positive to me!


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

I suggest try dwelling on the good things your puppy brings to your life. The joy and love they bring. In the end this just may not of been a good time to get a puppy. But he is in your life now so just work on the joyful things he brings to your everyday life. Pups can be magnets and could help you meet a lot of new friends.


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## CnCFusion (Feb 15, 2016)

My husband and I were feeling that way too the first 3 weeks the pup came home. I think it's from a combination of a lack of sleep and a total change in routine. I used to go to bed at midnight and sleep in until 10-11 on the days I didn't have to go to work but for the first 3 weeks, it was midnight until 6am sleep, which exhausted both of us. Not only that, but he needed constant supervision when outside of the crate (which was most times besides bedtime as we felt guilty keeping in him his crate when we were home)...

We usually spent most of our times watching TV or on the computer, and after acquiring Mochi I think the TV was off for the first few weeks, and emails were checked on my phone while at work (which I usually can't do very efficiently)...

I am sure it is 500% harder due to your depression but keep in mind that it WILL get better and you will be able to go back to your usual routine as he grows older


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## perdie (Oct 30, 2008)

I too have enduring depression so I can empathise with your situation, I also work with children and young people with mental health issues in a residential home. You may not realise it but the huge sense of change and responsibility are what's playing on your mind; you have an emerging attachment to Cooper and that can bring a lot of stress, leaving you exhausted. People with depression can have a tendency to over think, catastrophise and analyse - I know I've been there! He is consuming all your time and your thoughts, you don't need to spend 90% of your time with him, it's not healthy for either of you.
When I got my golden I'd just come out of a depressive phase, I was so excited to get him but for the first 2 years I suffered terrible anxiety thinking I'd made a huge mistake and that I'd made a massive commitment life long that couldn't be reversed I worried myself sick thinking all kinds of things; I couldn't make him happy, I didn't love him enough, he might die, I couldn't train, walk or play with him the way he needed.....depression makes you feel like you're not good enough to do anything right. He has to fit into your life not you into his. It's also not helpful to judge yourself against what others expectations are of what you do with your dog- this forum is filled with owners from all walks of life and as such they all treat their dogs their own way. Xx


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## Elsa Cholla's Mom (Feb 8, 2016)

Karen said it very well, but i will add my thoughts too.
I can reassure you, it is just the process of change, and feeling unsure how to create this new normal you have. Bonding takes time. I got a very biting puppy, no cuddles, lots of bruises and bite marks. I don't have clinical depression, but I do have Fibromyalgia, which comes with it's own low level depression as well as pain and fatigue. I knew that the dog would be good for me, motivate me, give me someone else to focus on besides myself, but I did have a few melt downs along the way. I felt like I had made a huge mistake, over and over again, for months, but again, I had a very difficult pup to raise. 
What helped me is that I kept the picture of Elsa all grown up in my head. A calm and loving dog who would walk with me, sit with me, enjoy experiencing the the world with me. Who will eventually slow down to a pace, we can both love. At 7 and a half months old, she is getting there. The biting has almost stopped completely. She's a beautiful happy girl, and she has find her own ways to be affectionate with me. We have our own way of communicating, we have learned each other. That's when bonding happens. Cross species communication takes time. And keep in mind, Cooper is seeing it all for the first time. You get to be there for him. As he gets older, and trusts you to guide him through learning the world, it will be very rewarding for you, and one of the best shields to depression you could ever build for yourself.
I think a lot of these feeling you have right now come from the changes, and not yet being comfortable with the new routine. They say it takes 90 days to ingrain a new habit. Raising a dog is having a whole bunch of new habits dumped on you simultaneously. When you feel those feeling come up, stop and take a few calming breaths. Tell yourself you are just learning new things and it is okay to be unsure. The one thing depression doesn't need is pressure, so be kind to yourself. ((Hugs))


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## -ALBUS- (May 5, 2016)

Krissi2197, don't beat yourself up for feeling this way! Change is really hard, even for people who aren't battling depression, and it takes time to get adjusted. You have this new little fur baby to take care of...who is completely dependent on you. It is taxing and can take a toll on your mind and body. But I think it's helpful to think about how much love and companionship you will be gaining from having him in your life. As he grows, so will your relationship. You will bond, I promise. He will become one of your best friends. And it sounds as though you have a really good boy on your hands 

This might cheer you up: Why Having A Pet Can Be Good For Your Health - Your Zen Life


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## Figtoria (Apr 19, 2016)

It sounds almost as if you're going through a little "post-puppy depression."

I wonder if part of the problem is the wild swing from the happy anticipation of your new baby to the cold reality of caring for another creature.

It is hard. But like babies, puppies grow up to be companions and friends and not just constant worries.

My suggestion is that you remember to take care of yourself, too. Your puppy is safe. You can still do the things you like to do. It's not healthy to make him 90% of your life.

To be honest, going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting up a reasonable hour all sound like positive things to me. But it is a huge change, give yourself time to adjust.

No blame, no guilt. Just breathe and give yourself the mental time to adjust to this big change in your life. Cooper won't mind. 

Good luck!


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## Parker16 (May 30, 2016)

Let me tell you that you're definitely not alone. I don't deal with depression but I am very resistant to change. I understand totally when you say that you have fleeting moments of regret and moments of happiness. A puppy is a huge change in our lives and I went from a settled, calm family of 3 to the arrival of a rambunctious, needy, bitey puppy. And this is our first pet! I have had days when I have broken down and cried because it was all too overwhelming. I take a break for 30 min and put him in his crate when I feel low and when I come back and see that face, that beautiful golden face th those floppy ears and big eye, and how his tail wags when he sees me I realize that we are so fortunate to be able to call him ours! I'm tearing up just typing this because I love him so much. Depression is tough and when you're feeling it you can't seem to shake off all the negative thoughts, they linger around. Please remember to take some time for yourself. Do outdoor activities without Cooper sometimes, don't feel guilty for not including him in every activity. It's in your and his best interests. Feel better!


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

It could be your age. 

I remember being very stressed and overwhelmed at 18-19. I was losing hair (and going gray at the temples) and just feeling physically tired and ill. Just overwhelmed and anxious about really growing up and taking on my own responsibilities. Around the same period of time, I had purchased my first car, my horse, and I was taking on full responsibility for all my dog's vet bills, training costs, and showing costs (both horse and dog competitions). All of this in addition to knowing I had to work my way up to where I wanted to be - because my parents were already putting 2 sibs through college and 2 more sibs would be going to college as well later on. 

I also had to step out of the shadow of my older sisters who were no longer doing the same stuff as me and I had to do it alone. 

The one summer especially - when I got back from work, all I wanted to do was sleep. We had family coming over and my bedroom was sort of the guest room (I'd get evicted to sleep in the living room at night). There was nowhere for me to rest or unwind and I would literally go out in the backwoods where we had a tent set up and I'd nap out there. <= I always think about that as the lowest point of what I went through. 

I guess what I'm saying is it might not be so much your new puppy just everything going on in your life, in addition to the puppy. I think a lot of the hormones get whacky as well as all the stress. 

Mental exercises, sleep, and diversions help. And it does get a lot easier in a year or two. Keep a positive outlook. I also started eating better and taking vitamins. Sunlight too (I go outside and sit in the sun literally - I still do).


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Thank you everyone for the kind words. I was worried I'd be called irresponsible or selfish, or be talked down to because I underestimated how much responsibility a puppy could be. The truth is, Megora is probably right. It's not the new puppy, but it's more of everything else going on right now, along with the puppy. 

Since I made this post I've had like 3 more mood swings. He gets super cranky when he's tired and misbehaves TERRIBLY so I put him in his crate so I can cool down. That was the first time I've done that. v.v But now he's asleep and I think I'm just gonna keep him in there for the night and relax and take a nice long bath.

To those of you saying I shouldn't give him 90% of my attention; what do you suggest? I know puppies require a lot of attention and interaction, so it's confusing when I am told not to dedicate every moment of my free time with him. Isn't that what I am supposed to do?


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

It's ok to put him in the crate when he gets cranky. Sometimes they are tired and need to go to sleep. Everyone needs a break sometimes. It's also ok to go out and do things without your puppy. We all have lives


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## Kalhayd (May 4, 2016)

Sending virtual hugs. 

Puppy's are a lot of work and I'm proud you recognize this. The kennel is not a punishment- but a nice place for you and him when you both need a break.  

That bond will come. Sometimes it comes right away, some times it's built over time. 

You're doing amazing. You really are!!


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

You have gotten some really good advice here. I would like to add that you don't have to spend 90% of your time with your puppy. That is not healthy for you or your dog. Puppies need down time. They are growing and learning about this new world of theirs. It is an overwhelming thing for them. They need down time and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with putting your puppy in a crate for a nap while you go to take a nice long bubble bath to relax. In all likelihood your puppy will simply go to sleep. Their little bodies are growing in leaps and bounds and they actually need sleep. A lot of sleep. So time in a crate is not a bad thing. Especially if it helps you be better able to get thru the difficult time of being a first time puppy mom. You also need to take advantage of the fact that your parents are more than willing to watch your puppy for you. Yes, a puppy is a huge responsibility, but you have two people who are there to help lighten that load. Take advantage of this. No one will think less of you for doing it. You need to spend time away from him. You need to be out doing things with your friend. When you feel like it you can bring your puppy along to visit with her. Puppies simply love being exposed to new people and new things so if you want to go for a walk, bring the puppy and your friend along. Do not isolate yourself. With depression it is the worst thing you can do. You need to think about the things that YOU enjoy doing. Then think about if there is a way you can involve your puppy in it. My point is that while a puppy is a huge commitment you cannot build your life around your puppy. What you have to figure out is how to fit your puppy into the things that you do which give you joy. You don't give them up for a puppy. You have to figure out how to modify them to fit your little guy in. No one on this board, if they are being honest, will tell you they spend 90% of their time taking care of their dogs/puppies. We all have other obligations and things in our lives besides our dogs. I, personally, have 3 dogs. I am retired now but I have always had at least 2 dogs and at one time I had a stressful job, a child and was taking care of various family members who were dying. None of my dogs got 90% of my time. So be much more gentle on yourself. You are one person, who, from what I have seen in your posts, loves her puppy very, very much. Give yourself permission to rest. Give yourself permission to put yourself first once in a while and, most important,
give yourself permission to be imperfect. Every single one of us on this board is imperfect. We all feel overwhelmed. We all feel we should do more. We all feel we could be better dog parents. We all do the best we can and our dogs and your puppy love us for that. Be gentle with yourself. You are a great dog mom and what you feel is ok. No one will put you down for feeling the way you do. Hang in there. Hugs.


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## Panama Rob (Nov 26, 2015)

It's funny....Dakota and I were asleep a few minutes ago and I woke up feeling anxiety. I rolled over and found him in the dark and began gently petting him. A few moments later he laid his head on my pillow and pressed his head and neck against my nose snuggling and just lay there. Getting him was a scary thing and I knew I was taking on a lot of responsibility. I experienced anxiety after getting him too. I want to be able to live up to his legacy and potential from his breeding. I don't want to fail him based upon my own training ability. I push all of that from my mind and tell myself to just relax and enjoy him simply as a dog and don't worry about nothin else. 

I came home today from work exhausted but looking forward to the last day of puppy class. When we entered the building for class Dakota plumb lost his mind and forgot to remember anything he has ever been taught. All he wanted to do was wrestle and play and bark at other dogs. When I left class he and I were completely spent. On the way home I reflected about how strong our bond has grown over the last nine weeks. (actually the bond began the day I decided to get him many weeks before he was ever conceived. I could not imagine life without him.)

My advice is just hang in there. Find dog friendly places in your area and invite your friend to do an outing where you take him with you. Let Cooper lead you out. He is your friend now so you never are alone and he will never say no. Sit down with Cooper and tell him what you are going through. Say, "Hey listen Coops. You scare me to death pup. You are a lot of responsibility. You keep me from sleeping and stuff. I'm not sure I should have gotten you." I'll tell you what Cooper will say. He will nip at your nose and nibble at you fingers and grab that really tender spot on the inside of your elbow and make you yelp. He will wiggle around and scratch you with his paw and try to squirm out of your grasp and will pull at your hair. It is his way of saying, "I love you Mom. You are the most awesomest Mom I could ever have. Thank you so much for bringing me home and I'm going to love you forever so don't worry about it Moms we got this. Life is better for both of us so don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff. Hey I want to chew on that shoe over there let me down. Mom you are the bestest ever and Coops here will love you forever so don't worry about it." That's what Cooper will tell you if you talk it over with him.


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## Panama Rob (Nov 26, 2015)

This is Cooper and his rates are a bargain. He is the best


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## CedarFurbaby (Jun 6, 2016)

I think you underestimate how strong you are and how much you can cope and adapt. 

I did heaps of research before getting my puppy and had huge amount of enthusiasm and determination for months, and then when I'm so tired that Cedar wakes me up and I have to work and I'm worried I'm not training him right and his nipping is relentless, I realise that no amount of preparation could have prepared me for this huge responsibility and change in my life. I'm a really clean person, but now I've to give up trying to get all the sand out of my house! He is so smart and has great potential and came from very loving breeders so I really want to do things right. 

Because I work full time, eventually I can't keep him company during the day, so for the next two weeks that I'm on leave, I'm trying to build up to a routine where he is ok being by himself during the day. Cedar is 9 weeks. For the next two weeks, I intend to leave the house for 3 hours a day every day. To do this, I play/walk/let him run in the morning, then he's tired I crate him and I leave. After his lunch, I get him to tire himself out again ( walking/playing/new experiences at the cafe), he can easily sleep for 2 or 3 hours in the crate. Puppies sleep a lot, as in at least 50% of the time. I spend that time at home but in a different room. If he gets over the top biting and wanting to play and will not listen (of course, since he's a puppy!) I leave him in the kitchen, but not locked in the crate. He whines and is upset but in 5 min he settles down on his own. Then he's calmer and I go back and play with him. Sometimes he's really upset, and he's not even whining he's just barking anxiously, and it doesn't seem to stop, then the minute he stops for just 5 or 10 seconds, I go to see him. This way he learns that when he doesn't bark, I come back or he gets food.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Krissi*

It is fine to put him in the crate sometimes. My hubby and I used the crate as a training tool. Look at this info from Humane Society on crate training.

Crate Training : The Humane Society of the United States


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

I was about your age when I got Joey  It can be extremely overwhelming.. like you I had my family for full support which was amazing. I went from being out at all hours of the night to basically having a newborn baby. I can tell you though, that Joey changed my life... for the better. I love the person I am now and its all thanks to him helping me grow up, showing me how to mature and how to be a better person. This isn't much help as I'm just rambling now.. but you're not alone. Take time for yourself but also enjoy him now! Enjoy every moment with him  Invite your BFF over to enjoy your new puppy!! It doesn't have to be one or the other


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

It's just that I feel absolutely awful for asking my parents to watch him for a few hours a day, even when I'm at work. He's in his crate about 6 and a half hours during the day. The rest of the time he's awake and roaming the house, and I'm supervising him. For some reason I feel like that isn't enough, but he sleeps through the entire night so well so I'm worried if I make him sleep more during the day, he won't be tired at night.

I strayed from my original point. Oops.

I know Cooper is my responsibility, and I convinced my parents to let me buy my own dog and take care of him primarily, so I just feel. Guilty for having them watch him. My parents have their own routines and I don't want to burden them to take care of him when they probably don't want to.

That's probably something else stressing me out. I hate asking for help, cause I know I can do it, even if it's mentally taxing on me. v.v I know puppies need a lot of sleep but I'm worried putting him in his crate more often will cause him to be restless during the night. I'd rather have a good night sleep more than anything right now.


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## -ALBUS- (May 5, 2016)

Krissi2197 said:


> To those of you saying I shouldn't give him 90% of my attention; what do you suggest? I know puppies require a lot of attention and interaction, so it's confusing when I am told not to dedicate every moment of my free time with him. Isn't that what I am supposed to do?


Well, he definitely needs that attention when he's awake and out of his crate, if for nothing else than his own safety to make sure he doesn't get into anything he shouldn't. But once we realized that it was OK to have our pup take fairly long daytime naps in his crate, it made a big difference. Not sure exactly how old Cooper is, but by the time Albus was about 10 weeks, he was routinely taking 1.5 - 2 hour crate naps during the day. This was important for both of us. He got needed rest, and we got time to do things that needed to be done: clean up around the house, run errands, take showers, etc. (He's now just over 13 weeks and he takes 4+ hour naps in the crate every morning and afternoon since I'm now back at work; we get him tired in the morning, tired at lunch, and then he's free most of the evening until bedtime, so he doesn't seem bothered by the fairly long crate time.) 

The longwinded point I'm trying to make is that it's also totally OK to let him spend an hour or two in the crate by himself so you can have some time to decompress. Get him tired, let him potty, give him a drink of water, then put him in the crate with a toy for an hour or two so you can watch some TV, take a nap, or surf the web. Do whatever. He'll be fine, and you'll be better for it. 

Good luck. It'll all be worth it in the end!


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

-ALBUS- said:


> Well, he definitely needs that attention when he's awake and out of his crate, if for nothing else than his own safety to make sure he doesn't get into anything he shouldn't. But once we realized that it was OK to have our pup take fairly long daytime naps in his crate, it made a big difference. Not sure exactly how old Cooper is, but by the time Albus was about 10 weeks, he was routinely taking 1.5 - 2 hour naps during the day. This was important for both of us. He got needed rest, and we got time to do things that needed to be done: clean up around the house, run errands, take showers, etc. (He's now just over 13 weeks and he takes 4+ hour naps in the crate every morning and afternoon since I'm now back at work; we get him tired in the morning, tired at lunch, and then he's free most of the evening until bedtime, so he doesn't seem bothered by the fairly long crate time.)
> 
> The longwinded point I'm trying to make is that it's also totally OK to let him spend an hour or two in the crate by himself so you can have some time to decompress. Get him tired, let him potty, give him a drink of water, then put him in the crate with a toy for an hour or two so you can watch some TV, take a nap, or surf the web. Do whatever. He'll be fine, and you'll be better for it.
> 
> Good luck. It'll all be worth it in the end!


He'll be 10 weeks old on Friday.

He takes one 2 hour nap a day (1 to 3) and the rest of his naps are about an hour to an hour and a half. Overall he spends about 6 and a half hours in his crate napping per day, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less.

Sometimes when I want to put him in his crate to take another nap, my mom always tells me that I shouldn't let him sleep too much during the day or he won't sleep at night. He's been sleeping through the night so well these past few days, and I don't want to ruin it by making him sleep more during the day, but maybe an extra hour or two during the day won't make much of a difference?


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## Jay-Huck (Jun 8, 2016)

Had so much advice to give that I registered. 


I teach and mentor 18-21 year old boys and girls, many with depression and anxiety issues. A pattern of success seems to follow after we 'organize' their lives with structure and consistency, just like a puppy.
Those types of feelings are normal! However, the key is managing them so that they don't take over your decision making processes. My puppy and his long-term development has higher priority than any impulse/emotion I may be having, which is important for me (see: _extremely difficult_) to keep in mind when I get overwhelmed or challenged by any situation. 

To speak plainly, a puppy is a great opportunity to Do The Right Thing and reflect those values back on yourself: he socializes better with small breaks? Maybe you do too; he learns better in controlled environments? Perhaps you do as well; he learns to self-monitor and make good choices as he matures? He thrives and grows when given positive structure and input? Hmm... 

You'll get through whatever you need to. You're already making big steps, just follow through and enjoy these moments.

Apologies if this sounds sonorous! I get triggered into guidance-mode pretty easily.


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## Oakaford (Jun 7, 2016)

I totally understand where you're coming from. I got my pup, Oakley, last year (when I had just turned 22) and within the first three months of having her, got a job and moved out of my parents house. 

I'd be having fun playing with her and taking her for walks then all of a sudden I'd get into what I call my panic mode - where I got nervous that I wasn't spending enough time with her (though like you at first I spent every waking minute with her), that she would've been better off with another family, that because she didn't listen to that one command that one time she was going to grow up to be a monster, etc. But I think the important thing, for me at least, was realizing that while it seems like a puppy is going to need constant attention for their entire life, as they age they'll gain some independence too. 

Your dog is your companion, not the other way around, which was an important thing for me to learn. And regarding the sleeping through the night thing, I noticed with Oakley that if we tried too hard to keep her up during the day, she'd actually sleep worse at night since she was over tired. 

No one is a perfect owner, as long as you're trying your best things will fall into place.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I had the same feelings when I had my first born child (although I would never tell her that). I think the reality sinks in that you are responsible for this living soul for the rest of their lives. Your sleep schedule has changed, so that adds to the adjustment. Plus, in addition, there is so much written out there o how to be the "perfect parent" or "dog owner" - well, what I learned is nobody is perfect, everybody does things differently to fit their situation.

Once your puppy starts to bond with you, some take a few months longer than others, those thoughts will leave, and you will not be able to think of life without this dog that loves you so much.

Our you taking any puppy classes? Great way to meet other people who are also going through the same things with their puppy.


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

cubbysan said:


> Our you taking any puppy classes? Great way to meet other people who are also going through the same things with their puppy.


I was thinking of puppy classes, but I'm not 100% sure yet because the only training facility close to use is Petco, and I haven't heard really good things about their training program.

I'm asking around though. Hopefully I can find a reasonably priced, good training program to take him to for a few weeks so we can both learn a thing or two about basic obedience.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Krissi2197 said:


> Thank you everyone for the kind words. I was worried I'd be called irresponsible or selfish, or be talked down to because I underestimated how much responsibility a puppy could be. The truth is, Megora is probably right. It's not the new puppy, but it's more of everything else going on right now, along with the puppy.
> 
> Since I made this post I've had like 3 more mood swings. He gets super cranky when he's tired and misbehaves TERRIBLY so I put him in his crate so I can cool down. That was the first time I've done that. v.v But now he's asleep and I think I'm just gonna keep him in there for the night and relax and take a nice long bath.
> 
> To those of you saying I shouldn't give him 90% of my attention; what do you suggest? I know puppies require a lot of attention and interaction, so it's confusing when I am told not to dedicate every moment of my free time with him. Isn't that what I am supposed to do?


When he gets cranky, you are doing the right thing by putting him in his crate - he is probably tired and needs a nap. I had to do that with my first golden puppy, he was a really bad landshark and a very busy puppy. When he got out of hand, I would put him in his crate, and he would be asleep in minutes. Just like a cranky little child needing a nap.

He has to also learn to entertain himself, either a chew toy or a ball.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

If Petco is the only option it's fine. It's a way to bond with your puppy and meet other people.


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

I second the puppy classes! We didn't go to the greatest puppy KD classes but they were honestly more for Joey to have fun and play with other puppies! for obedience stuff we went to better classes. It bonds, socializes and tires them out... its great fun! Jaxson's first puppy KD class is on the 22nd of June


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## PrincessDaisy (Dec 20, 2011)

Krissi,
I have another 41 years on you. And the depression has been with me for 49. 

His purpose is to add happiness to your life. So let him. Don't worry about the minutes, just control the hours. Chart out the days routine and keep notes about what works better. Stick to the routines for 7 to 10 days so everyone has time to adjust to them. Make notes. At your age and through college, 7 1/2 hours sleep worked best for me. No more, no less. Not too tired, not so anxious, not really depressed. Was it the time or the conviction about the time? Who knows? But it worked! Seize the successes. Celebrate them even if only a self patted back. Time with Cooper can be time with your human friend too. Cooper is there for you when your friend isn't, should be HER attitude. One isn't a substitute for the other. They are complimentary parts of your support group.

Conviction creates reality. One of my break through realizations. NO, I can not will my dear wife into a 6 foot tall redhead amazon science fiction heroine. But I can will my anxieties to be curiousities. Could the truck engine blow up while on the way to work and because I miss another day of work, could I be fired? Yes. But not if I check the oil and leave early. I do the things necessary and think the things necessary to give me the mental and emotional weapons necessary to fight depression and anxiety. Little wins, sometimes hundreds every day. Thats how I get by. Be positive in thought and attitude, and your life will be positive too.

I hope this helps. Don't let the depression cause actual physical health problems. Cooper can help with this. Eat properly, at proper times in relation to your sleep schedule. Exercise by walking Cooper a couple miles twice a day. Less computer time, more dog time and personal time.

Max


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## Stellasmom (May 25, 2016)

I deal with depression sometimes too, and it's usually when I'm judging my own feelings and trying not to feel a certain way because I think I "shouldn't" feel that way. Maybe it's the responsibility of having a puppy, not always feeling like taking care of another life, the loss of freedom you had, it not being as fun as you thought, maybe not even liking your puppy sometimes--I don't know exactly what your feeling, but that's a list of feelings probably a lot of people go through but don't want to admit. Even when having a baby (I have 4) moms often don't feel the bond right away and think " what did I get myself into?" I remember sitting in the shower, crying and wishing I wasn't a mom. And I loved my baby. I think depression comes from trying to stuff these feelings and from feeling guilty about them. Just let them be, feel them, and they'll pass. Feelings just are. No need to feel guilty about them. I tell my children to feel however you feel, but it's your actions that count. If you feel guilty about burdening your parents, you could just ask them how much they want to be involved. God bless. If you get a good therapist, depression really can get so much better! For me, itll go away, then pop up from time to time, but you learn the tools for dealing with it, so it's not something to fear.


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## Rina (Feb 26, 2016)

First of all, my prayers are with you. My child has anxiety and while not the same it is hard to see a child/or in your case a young adult, struggle. I am sure you have Dr. helping you our as well as your parents. Cooper will bring you joy and having to worry about him will end up being good for you, I hope. You are only 19 so your parents know that they will take care of Cooper, just try to see him as a positive, smiling friend that will always be there for cuddles, to cheer you up and to him you will always be the best thing in the world. I give the same advice to new parents, don't worry about your babies, just cuddle them and hug them and love them all the time.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Hi Krissi,

My guess is that part of what is making it all feel a bit worse right now is that you are totally off your routine and schedule. Let me tell you right now: you WILL get back to your regular routine. Right now, everything is about your puppy and you do need to attend to his needs. But as he grows up, and is house trained, you will slowly get back to your old schedule, but with him as part of it. It's going to take a few months at least. By the time everything settles down, you will be wondering how you ever lived without him in your life. 

I also second, third, fourth everyone encouraging puppy classes. In addition to helping with training, they're just fun. You get to bond with your dog and meet other people. And there is no reason you won't be able to see your best friend. Have her come over, or go to the park together, and every so often, take a break and go for dinner or to a movie. Again, you will get your old sense of freedom back when your pup is older. 

I tend to be quite introverted and I could easily spend days on my own. So for me, having a dog is GOOD for me because it gets me out several times a day, and at least twice a day for longer periods of time - in parks, taking long walks, going to the beach, etc. But I've also met really nice people through my dog - one of my dearest friends I met because of our dogs. I joined a training group where I knew no one and they have become friends and we get together and train together even when we don't have classes. Again, all because of our dogs. 

I totally understand where you are right now, and I know it's hard to see right now, but it will truly get better every day. One day, you will be at work and thinking, I can't wait to get home to my dog. And he will bring you such a sense of comfort and security. Really. :smile2:


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

I wish I can reply to all of you individually but it's late, I'm exhausted, and I'm probably going to go to bed soon.

Me going to bed and waking up at reasonable hours of the day isn't a /bad/ change, but it's still a huge change nonetheless and it'll take me some time to get used to it. It shouldn't take long though, since that sleeping schedule is very similar to what it was when I was in High School (and I only graduated a year ago). Honestly, the days go by a lot quicker now, and I feel like I get more done in a day by waking up earlier. It's a good change, but it's still a change, so it's tough on me.

I know me being afraid of never seeing my best friend until he's "independent" is stupid, but it's just how my brain works. She lives near the woods, so I'm hesitant on bringing him to her house until I'm 100% confident that he'll come to me when called, and leave things alone when I tell him to. There's a lot of stuff in her backyard, including Copperhead snakes, so I just can't take that risk when he's so young. Not to mention that I want to make sure he's protected against fleas and ticks before going anywhere near her house with him.

She has a 6 (7?) year old Lab/Hound mix named Noodle, and she told me that we can have doggy playdates once Cooper is up to date on his vaccines. I can't wait for that. I'm sure that will be fun for my friend and I, but also our dogs too. Noodle may be older but she still acts like a puppy a lot of the time, and she's very well-behaved.

My parents, while I'm still at home with them, sometimes make me feel guilty for asking for help. I wanted to go sleep over at my friend's house tonight, and my dad willingly offered to care for Cooper until I got back early the next morning, but my mom told me I wasn't allowed to go. She said, "You need a break from him already? That means you aren't ready or responsible enough for him". That hurt me. I need a break, yes, but mostly from the entire household, not Cooper. My family and I don't have the best relationship so sometimes I just go to my friend's house to stay the night just to get time away from it all.

On the way back from work, I took a different route, just to make the trip a little longer so I didn't have to get home so quickly. Along the way, I found a dog training facility close to my home! The prices are a tad cheaper than Petco, but I read reviews online and it looks promising. Their next classes start June 14, but I've decided to email them about the July 13 class, since by then he'll be up to date on his vaccines and it won't be such short notice. We'll see how that works out!

Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I still feel stressed and I still feel like I can't give him the life he deserves, but I do care about him. If I didn't, I don't think I'd feel this way and just shove him in his crate all day. I'm doing my best. I'll try to take more time for myself, too, and not feel too guilty when putting him in his crate. He cried a lot today when I put him in for the night which broke my heart, but he quieted down after a while. 

I just hope everything will be alright. :c


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

You can also use a long lead for copper if your afraid he won't come back. Chloe is 1.5 and we still use one if we are out front of our house. We used it when we took her to my aunts a couple weeks ago. I think it is 20 ft. Once you feel comfortable taking him to your friends that might be fun. You can have doggy sleep overs. Is their places you could go with your friend and take the dogs? That could be fun once he is fully vaccinated. If there isn't a lot of stray dogs around your friends house and her dog is fully vacinated it's probably OK to let them meet. Unless her dog goes to dog parks or anything.


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Update... I guess?

My mom let me sleep over at my friend's house last night, since my dad had off work and he insisted that he'd be fine taking care of Cooper for the day/evening. So, I did. I went over to her house and we just hung out and played video games and watched movies and did what best friends do. It was a nice break away from the chaos at home; but I was still depressed and stressed because Cooper was at the back of my mind the entire time.

He was a good boy, though. My parents are proud of his behavior when I was gone and they're happy that he's a good little puppy. I think the only complaint they had was that he was nippy, but all puppies are, so you can't really avoid that.

I was super SUPER depressed on the way back from my friend's house this morning though. I almost started crying. When I got home and Cooper greeted me with his wagging tail and puppy kisses, I was happy to see him, but I wasn't... Overjoyed. It was more like a "Hey buddy I'm home. I gotta put you in your crate now so you can get some rest while I get ready for work" and now he's in his crate and I'm getting ready to go to work for pretty much the entire day.

It's at the point where I am most excited to be anywhere, doesn't matter where, except home. It's really... Weird. I'm not a fan of my household initially, but, I used to be happy to be able to go home from work and relax on my bed and computer and stuff, but now I feel like I can't really do that anymore.

Blah. 

Good news is, we're scheduled to go to puppy classes in mid-July. A bit of a late start, but the June classes were full and better late than never. Hopefully it'll help us both bond together and it'll help him be less exhausting at home.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Krissi2197 said:


> It's at the point where I am most excited to be anywhere, doesn't matter where, except home. It's really... Weird. I'm not a fan of my household initially, but, *I used to be happy to be able to go home from work and relax on my bed and computer and stuff, but now I feel like I can't really do that anymore.*
> 
> Blah.
> 
> Good news is, we're scheduled to go to puppy classes in mid-July. A bit of a late start, but the June classes were full and better late than never. Hopefully it'll help us both bond together and it'll help him be less exhausting at home.


Is this BECAUSE of the puppy that you are feeling like this? Because you can't really relax now because you feel you HAVE to look after the puppy? 

It's true - you do need to look after the puppy right now. He does need to be taught how to be a good dog, he needs to be fed and taken out, and puppies need a TON of attention. The first few months are really hard - but surely, you must be getting some pleasure out of him, too? Pick him up and cuddle him and tell him you love him. Take him outside and toss a toy or a ball and watch him chase (he might not bring it back right now). Take him on a walk and watch him encounter something he's never seen. You won't be able to not smile. 

When you wanted to get a dog - what was it you wanted? Did you want a companion to go hiking with? Did you want someone you could throw the ball for? It does come... but there is a lot of work that comes first. The love is not always instant - it can take many months for a bond to form. But the more time you spend with the pup, the more you teach him (and see the results!), the more you see him learning and experiencing new things, the more you will love spending time with him. 

Many people say they don't really like newborn babies. They're boring. They sleep, eat and poop. But omg, it gets better and better as they grow and develop little personalities, and learn to communicate. This is the same with puppies. Puppies are a lot of work - but there is SO much reward. I wish you could see me and my dog right now. (She is 3 years old). Three years ago (plus one month), I had no routine, no schedule. I could barely sit on my couch for 5 minutes. It was all about the puppy. It was tiring for sure - but I knew it would all be worth it (I had another Golden Retriever previously). And now.. we are chilling in my house - I'm on the couch with my laptop drinking coffee, she is lying over in front of her favourite window, totally chill. In a little while, we'll go to the park to play ball and walk. You guys will get there. Try to stop worrying and angsting and concentrate on having fun and appreciating your little pup. He won't be little for long - and all of a sudden, you'll be like, why didn't I pick him up more?? :smile2:


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Krissi*



Krissi2197 said:


> Update... I guess?
> 
> My mom let me sleep over at my friend's house last night, since my dad had off work and he insisted that he'd be fine taking care of Cooper for the day/evening. So, I did. I went over to her house and we just hung out and played video games and watched movies and did what best friends do. It was a nice break away from the chaos at home; but I was still depressed and stressed because Cooper was at the back of my mind the entire time.
> 
> ...


Krissi: Glad you took a break at your friend's house, you need to take breaks more often since your parents are willing to babysit.
I think the feelings you are going through are natural. Cooper is a new responsibility, commitment you've made and those are always scary. In no time you will relax and it will become secondhand. Puppies grow fast, too, so the constant watching him and going out won't last forever.


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## CnCFusion (Feb 15, 2016)

Dont feel bad at all. This is all natural. I dont have depression and i can tell you that for the first few weeks, some days i would take my time and delay going home because i knew it wouls be non stop dealing with the puppy... i would stay in my car and sit in the driveway for an extra 30min to relax, check email and recompose myself before i went in .. now i cant wait to go home and cuddle with him. Hang in there itll only get better!!


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Sweet Girl said:


> Is this BECAUSE of the puppy that you are feeling like this? Because you can't really relax now because you feel you HAVE to look after the puppy?
> 
> It's true - you do need to look after the puppy right now. He does need to be taught how to be a good dog, he needs to be fed and taken out, and puppies need a TON of attention. The first few months are really hard - but surely, you must be getting some pleasure out of him, too? Pick him up and cuddle him and tell him you love him. Take him outside and toss a toy or a ball and watch him chase (he might not bring it back right now). Take him on a walk and watch him encounter something he's never seen. You won't be able to not smile.


Every time I relax I feel guilty because I'm like "I should be watching Cooper right now". Even when I go to bed I feel bad if he isn't asleep because I feel like he should be awake and playing. I feel like I'm not doing enough for him.

I put him in his crate throughout the day for 1-2 hour naps, but each time I do it, I just feel guilty. My mom keeps drilling it into my mind that shoving him into the crate throughout the day is cruel, and I'm "not responsible enough" to have him if I don't give him 100% of my attention and free-time.

I try to tell her that he needs naps, but she doesn't have any of it. She still yells at me. She also yells at me that he's "aggressive" cause he nipped her once or twice, or because him and my other dog, Princess, were running around the house "snapping at each other" when they were just playing chase. Their body language had nothing to do with anything aggressive or threatening... But my mom thinks that Cooper was attacking Princess.

My mom is drilling it into my head that I am not doing good enough. Whenever I go to work, or whenever I go out for a little bit on my own, my mom yells at me as soon as I come back because "I should be home looking after him".

I just.

Idk.

My mom is the root of the problem, not Cooper. I broke down again today because he kept biting me and it just kind of came out. I try to pick him up and snuggle him, but he just squirms and bites anything he can reach, including my face. So I don't really pick him up. The scratches and bruises on my arms and legs are enough, I don't really need a black eye.

Idk. I'm just rambling now. I hope it gets better soon. I keep trying to picture what he'll be like a few months from now, but it's not working.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

Tell your mom puppies that age sleep alot. I mean like 16 to 20 hours. That's why shouldn't feel guilty about puttin him in the crate for naps. You probably have until he is 5 or six months. But it does get better and you will have that sweet friend.


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Cpc1972 said:


> Tell your mom puppies that age sleep alot. I mean like 16 to 20 hours. That's why shouldn't feel guilty about puttin him in the crate for naps.


I do. I try to tell her that puppies are like human babies, and they get super cranky and upset when they're tired but are forced to stay awake because they /need/ the sleep, but she just thinks I'm making up excuses so I could have time to myself...


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## Kalhayd (May 4, 2016)

Sweetie- my heart hurts as a mom that your mom is making you feel this way..


You do need time to yourself. I do. Even from my husband, and babies, and our old girl, and now the puppy!

We all look like victims from a Steven King book due to the nipping.. And it's frustrating... And it's hard to see the future when your puppy who you envisioned to be soft & cuddly with the perfect amount of puppy breath is trying to take your face off instead.. But it does and will get better! 

Guilt is one of the worst emotions we experience in my opinion. I can sit here and tell you not to, but I'm guilty of it all the time! 

I can tell you.. As someone who was depressed beyond recognition after a extreme traumatic event.. You have to take care of you first. You can't expect to me a good daughter, friend, dog momma, employee, etc.. If you don't take care you of you. 


Have you and your mom done counseling together? I think it could help to have a non-bias party mediating your feelings. 

And just because it's so true,and hopefully it'll make you laugh..


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

Jake was our first golden. My mom always talks about how she thought that he wasn't the right dog for us. She even thought about leaving the fence gate open so he would runaway. Of course she wouldn't have done that. But everyone at times has thoughts of what did we do. After not having a puppy for 9.5 years they eve had those wth moments with Chloe. But it does go away.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

I didn't like my first dog until she was about 6 months old. There were SO many times that I just crated her because she wouldn't quit biting. It is possible to love your puppy, but not particularly like him.

As for crating all the time... Link has been crated SO much the last few days. I work nights and my husband works days. I worked the last 3 in a row... So that means Link is crated at 8 pm, let out from 9-9:30 am, crated until 4 pm, and then out until 8 pm. I feel terrible, because I KNOW he's bored and has a ton of energy. But there's not much I can do (I could leave him out during the day, but I know I wouldn't sleep well and taking care of sick kids is not easy on no sleep). It happens sometimes. It's okay.

Puppies are unlike babies in the fact that even if they sleep during the day, they'll still sleep at night. I have had no problems with Link sleeping at night, even when we've slept most of the day.

Are you planning on moving out of your parents? I'm just curious. I'm not much older than you, and I got out of my parents house as quick as I could (I have 9 younger siblings though, so leaving the chaos was a no-brainer).


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Krissi*

Krissi: I think you are doing a wonderful job as a Mom, from what you've told us and so do all of the people that have commented.
Puppyhood doesn't last forever and he will stop the napping and the biting. I hope all of the support on this forum will help you.


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Rkaymay said:


> I didn't like my first dog until she was about 6 months old. There were SO many times that I just crated her because she wouldn't quit biting. It is possible to love your puppy, but not particularly like him.
> 
> As for crating all the time... Link has been crated SO much the last few days. I work nights and my husband works days. I worked the last 3 in a row... So that means Link is crated at 8 pm, let out from 9-9:30 am, crated until 4 pm, and then out until 8 pm. I feel terrible, because I KNOW he's bored and has a ton of energy. But there's not much I can do (I could leave him out during the day, but I know I wouldn't sleep well and taking care of sick kids is not easy on no sleep). It happens sometimes. It's okay.
> 
> ...


Link stays in the crate from 8 PM at night to 9 AM without having to go to the bathroom? That's impressive. How old is he?

I think it's more of the fact that if I'm not at work, I'm usually home (unless there's a rare occasion where I'm hanging out with friends) so I feel bad whenever he's in his crate and I am at home because I know I could supervise him, I just choose not to so he can nap and I can do other things while he's napping. I'd let him nap in the living room but he could just wake up and have an accident at any moment.

I plan on moving out within the next couple of years. Hopefully sooner rather than later, though. I'm a bit slow at this whole "adult" thing.


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## CedarFurbaby (Jun 6, 2016)

Krissi2197 said:


> I'm a bit slow at this whole "adult" thing.


I'm not sure at all that there is an 'adult' thing, you do your best and you survive. Some days will alwats feel more confident than other days. >


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

CedarFurbaby said:


> I'm not sure at all that there is an 'adult' thing, you do your best and you survive. Some days will alwats feel more confident than other days. >


I'm older than most of you and I can honestly tell you that, nope, there is no "adult thing." We're all just faking it! (Seriously, I still feel like I'm 16 only now I wish someone would ground me so I could get some sleep!)


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Can I ask a couple questions.... 

1. Where is the puppy's place in the house? Is it your bedroom or somewhere else? Because if his spot is in your room - then you don't have to pick or choose between "watching puppy time" and rest time for yourself. 

2. Have you started doing what I suggested earlier - just go outside with your puppy... set up a certain schedule or routine and make sure you are going outside, sitting down out in the grass and relaxing. You can be out there and daydreaming and letting it all unwind - and you are out there with the pup and he gets to have a lot of normal playtime and be out of his crate, burning off energy. 

I'm not going to touch what's going on between you and your parents, but I guess I'm pointing out that if the pup is crated during the day while you are at work... crating him when you are home is too much time stuck in a cage for a normal puppy. I'm partly saying that as somebody who is not exactly crazy about that use of crates. To me it is unnatural - but my dogs are out and about all day with family.

^ I still do the above relaxing outside now with my adult dogs... but it especially was a huge help last year when I was working with a very difficult boss. I'd come home on my lunches and in the evening and before even going into the house and talking with my family, I'd sit outside and just imagine the stress wafting away out of me before going back inside refreshed.

If you can just imagine all that stress you are carrying around - focus on letting it go. Don't dwell on it. Let it go. The time with your pup - should be your peaceful, unwinding time.... dogs unlike people don't require extra effort. Find stuff to do in the evening - out the home. You come from work and go out.  

And make a comfortable spot in your room for your pup - this will let you go in your room... and shut the door. Your pup will learn that time in your room is "down time". And if you stick to routines as far as looking at the clock and going outside for fresh air (you sitting in the grass) or going for a walk... or packing up your pup and going out somewhere.... 

Or down the road - scheduling weekend getaways just you and pup going on weekend and overnight adventures away from home.... 

All this stuff is what you can look forward to and just do. Don't dwell on the emotions.


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## Panama Rob (Nov 26, 2015)

laprincessa said:


> I'm older than most of you and I can honestly tell you that, nope, there is no "adult thing." We're all just faking it! (Seriously, I still feel like I'm 16 only now I wish someone would ground me so I could get some sleep!)


Speaking of age....I'm so old my social security number is 6. Moses was a senior when I was a freshman at Bethlehem High. We had mixed results with our football team. Jesus halled in a Hail Mary to save the final game of our season his senior year. Everyone said it was a miracle. Betty White and Moses were an item back then. Moses took Betty to our prom. I still feel 16 too. ;-)

I have to laugh and joke. I certainly can't brag on my dog training ability today. Dakota is more than a handful.


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## Rkaymay (May 12, 2014)

Link is 7 months. He's always slept all night very well, but he hasn't always enjoyed day sleeping. We've just recently reached the point where I'm not waking up to him whining/noisily chewing on a bone every afternoon around 1.

Puppies are exhausting. You want then around, but you want them to entertain themselves without getting into anything dangerous/valuable. They will pass this stage eventually, and before you know it you'll be crating him less (and your mom will have to find something new to be upset about). This too shall pass. I promise.


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Megora said:


> Can I ask a couple questions....
> 
> 1. Where is the puppy's place in the house? Is it your bedroom or somewhere else? Because if his spot is in your room - then you don't have to pick or choose between "watching puppy time" and rest time for yourself.
> 
> ...


I don't mind you asking!

1. His crate/sleeping area is inside of my room, downstairs in the basement. I try to keep toys in there at a minimum (any toys he has is either on his dog bed or inside of his crate) so he gets the idea that my room is "rest time". I just can't lay down and take a nap when he roams freely, though, so I put him in his crate if I want to rest and watch TV on my bed or something.

2. I have, actually! I got a long 30 foot lead and I sit outside in my backyard in the center of the grass while he runs around me. He likes picking up the mulch and leaves and grass though. The leaves and grass I don't really worry about since he doesn't actually eat it, but the mulch I get nervous because it can splinter or he can swallow some (I've already found small pieces of it in his stool) so every minute or so I end up either pulling him to me to get whatever he has out of his mouth, or I get up and go over to him.

He does enjoy sitting on my front lawn too, though, and on the porch. He watches the cars and people walk by, and he watches the birds and squirrels and other dogs being walked along the sidewalk. We do that for an hour in the morning, an hour in the afternoon, and an hour in the evening, just relaxing outside without a care in the world (unless it's like 90 degrees. Then we only sit outside for 20 minutes to a half hour. He doesn't really enjoy the heat too much).

Cooper isn't crated the entire time I'm at work! I'm part-time so I don't work more than 6-7 hours a day, but my parents follow the same schedule I do for when I'm at home. An hour in the crate, an hour outside of the crate playing and socializing with the family and training and running around outside in the yard. He's only in the crate about 6 hours a day, and that's because he refuses to fall asleep anywhere else in the house even if he is exhausted (and mouthy!).

Thank you for your encouraging words. I already plan on taking him so many places when he's older and safe to go out in the public. My best friend and I are already planning a weekend camping trip a few months down the line with our dogs. Gives me something to look forward to. c:


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## TillyRose (Apr 11, 2016)

What you feel is completely normal! 

I suffer from a chronic illness and have had my share of battles with depression and anxiety. 

Before Tilly came along I was staying up all night and sleeping during the day and wasn't very active or sociable.

After the puppy goggles wore off, I got a hell of a shock! I hadn't lived in a routine for a long time.. I was looking forward to bedtime, dreading waking up and praying she'd nap during the day.

I remember even saying to myself, "I should just call the breeder and tell her I've made a mistake" I constantly kept doubting my abilities of being a good pet-mum. I was finally responsible for something other than myself and it was scary! 

I've had Tilly almost 2 months now and any fleeting thoughts I ever had have gone. I think back on those first few weeks and feel silly.

I think about all the positive changes that has happened by having her in my life. I'm greatful, I'm now in a healthy routine, I'm outside and active and also socialising more.

Tilly is a great girl and I look forward to growing and enjoying life with her.


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## Sandy22 (Mar 12, 2016)

TillyRose said:


> What you feel is completely normal!
> 
> I suffer from a chronic illness and have had my share of battles with depression and anxiety.
> 
> ...


I love your story, and adore the name Tilly!


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

It has been a little under two weeks since I made the OP and I honestly want to say that I feel a lot better than I did when I first made it.

I haven't been able to hang out with my friend again since last time but that's due to her being busy with stuff. 

However I got a new video game that I play while Cooper just sits down on my bed and naps and it really takes the stress off. I've always loved video games and I'm glad I'm able to still play. He even enjoys watching me. :3

We've gotten into the routine and he's not as bitey as he was a couple of weeks ago. I still am getting fresh scars and bruises but it's a lot less frequent now. 

Waking up early isn't an issue anymore since I got used to the routine. I've felt like the days are going by much quicker and I've had a lot more energy over the past week or so.

I still have some fears and worries and regrets in the back of my mind, but I think the worst of my puppy blues are over.


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## Gleepers (Apr 20, 2016)

Glad to hear you are feeling better. I'm sure it'll continue to improve over time as well.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Krissi*



Krissi2197 said:


> It has been a little under two weeks since I made the OP and I honestly want to say that I feel a lot better than I did when I first made it.
> 
> I haven't been able to hang out with my friend again since last time but that's due to her being busy with stuff.
> 
> ...


Krissi: I am SO GLAD you are feeling better!! Be sure to keep sharing with us. Hugs and kisses to Cooper!


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

What game are you playing?  I work at Gamestop and besides for dog stuff... I love to game!


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

Jamm said:


> What game are you playing?  I work at Gamestop and besides for dog stuff... I love to game!


Overwatch. :3c


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

Krissi2197 said:


> Overwatch. :3c



So much fun!!!! I was playing it non stop before Jaxson came home... Really fantastic game!


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## PrincessDaisy (Dec 20, 2011)

Krissi, great to see the new and better progress report. Keep up the exercise of walking the pup. It is as beneficial to you as it is to him. Increased blood flow will greatly help your mood, as I myself have discovered. Do you take supplements? If not, take some D and CoQ10, really helps me stay balanced.

To let you know how old I am, gaming when I was in college was chess. And afterwards live RPG, around pizza and beer, called Traveller. Of the first rendition in the LBB's. HA!

Duck Hunt was too complicated. Grandson plays Ruby.


Max


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## Figtoria (Apr 19, 2016)

I'm in the Legion Beta right now, but Overwatch was great fun!!

My son wants it for his birthday Saturday.





Jamm said:


> So much fun!!!! I was playing it non stop before Jaxson came home... Really fantastic game!


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