# Things are getting worse



## jude

Poor Ella is now peeing in her sleep. This is new for her and she looks totally humiliated when she has to be helped up in the morning and she has been lying in her own urine all night. Oh this breaks my heart. Last night it sounded like there was fluid in her lungs so we stayed up all night listening to her breath. Today we made an appointment to see the vet. Our vet is on vacation so we took her in to the person who was substituting for him. What a jerk. My god. First he couldnt take blood from her leg. wanted to try her jugular vein. We stopped him and suggested he try the other leg first. He did and was able to get some blood. He promptly dropped the vials of blood, but was able to save enuf to have tested supposedly. He listened to her lungs, but said he couldnt tell because of the fat around her chest. he heard fluid in the abdomen and wanted to puncture her stomach to try to get the fluiid out. i couldnt let him do it. We got no answers from him. Hopefully she'll last until our vet comes back. I don't want to do anything to stress her or make her more uncomfortable than she already is. She is such a good sport. Even though her legs are so weak she trips and falls and then is stuck where she falls. She looks so shocked when that happpens, it is just heart wrenching. She drinks tons of water, her lymph nodes are huge and it looks like something else neurological happened. Now her tail is drooping and she keeps it curled under her.


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## GoldensGirl

There must be another vet. Where are you? I'll help you find someone better.

Remember that the most important gift of love that we give our fur people is to let them go before life gets too awful. We accept pain for ourselves to free them from theirs. It is a fair bargain after all that they have given us. This is a familiar path...one that I have traveled more than once. Hold your girl close and celebrate the time that you have left. Then love her enough to let her go. Please.

Hugs and prayers,
Lucy


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## LovingBella

I'm so sorry that Ella is struggling. I understand your concern and frustration. Is there another vet nearby that you could bring her to that could help? I sorry this is so heart wrenching for you. I will keep Ella in my prayers.


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## nolefan

I'm so sorry for you all going through this... If you weren't getting a good vibe from the fill-in vet, can you try getting her in somewhere else? Even the emergency clinic? In the meantime, would it work to put doggy diapers on her to try to lessen the trauma of the incontinence? My heart goes out to you....


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## Sweet Girl

Oh, I'm so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and Ella. 

The diapers are a really good idea - at least it will help her from the anxiety of going in the house, and save her from having to lie in the wet. I really hope your vet, or another vet, can help you soon.


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## jude

Thank u so much for the support. My regularg vet will be back on Tuesday and we have appointment. Meanwhile the bloods came back with dx of diabetes. He doesn't want us to wait until Tuesday to start insulin.


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## jude

*happening faster than expected*

got another call from the vet with absolutely no bedside manner at all. He said they got more results and she also has leukemia. Cancer in the blood. Diabetes with very high sugar levels. We are going in tomorrow to learn how to give insulin because he is afraid she may go into ketosis and then a diabetic coma. He feels we have maybe a month or so. How could he know something like that? and Why would he say that? But on the other hand, after the outrage has sort of drifted away, i stepped back and really looked at her when i walked in the house. She is not moving, breathing is heavy, when i moved her back end onto the rug i felt her bones and how light she is, how much weight she has suddenly lost. I gave her a piece of steak and she lifted her head and ate it happily and went back to sleep. What am I supposed to do now? What is more humane? Start giving her insulin injections? Or just painkillers. So confused. Maybe insulin and painkillers.


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## goldensrbest

As hard as it is, sometimes we as humans have to help them to leave,this world, she sounds like she is very ill, i am sorry.


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## Wagners Mom2

As hard as this is to hear--Sometimes, the best thing to do is let them go. In my opinion, when they require pain meds just to stay alive, it's no longer in their best interest. If there was a way to let her actually "live"--meaning, chase the ball, swim in the pond, run up the hills for the next month (or days or weeks or months), then by all means, give her that chance. But if she can no longer enjoy the life she has, I wouldn't let her suffer one more day.

I'm so sorry she is so sick. My heart aches for you all and I will keep you all in my prayers.


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## Wyatt's mommy

It might be worth a shot with the insulin. uncontrollable peeing, rapid weight loss and respitory tract infections are clinical symptoms of diabetes. I however would get another vet if you are not happy with this one. It will take a while to get the right dosage and she should have a fructosamine test. But until other tests can be done the insulin should start making her feel much better. Good luck!


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## jude

what would i do without all of you wonderful folks. You are truly a blessing. your heartfelt messages are very very needed right now. thank you from the bottom of my heart and ella's.


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## nolefan

Jude, I can't begin to tell you how terribly sorry I am to see this. I am trying to figure out, when you said your regular vet is back Tuesday, did you mean today or next week? Did you get a face to face? I agree with Wyatt's mommy, if you are unhappy with the way you are being treated, it would be good to get copies of all her records and find a new vet who will treat you with some compassion. I have to assume that the prognosis of a month or so is being given based on their experience with similiar cases.

You asked about what is humane... I couldn't imagine going through what both you and she have been already for several more weeks. I'm so sorry. Quality of life is everything to me. If you try the insulin and painkillers and she is still not doing anything except sleep, I am one who agrees with previous posters, I would probably not continue to put my dog or myself through such a painful situation. I will be praying for you and your girl.


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## 3 goldens

I am so sorry. I know you have so much on your mind right now, choices to make. The first time i had to make a choice, i held onto my Irish setter to long, let him suffer to long becaue I could not bring myself to let him go. one thing--the vet was treating him for a spinal infetion and wa sure "the next antibiotic or combo" would be the one that fixhim. All these years later I believe red had more than a spinal infection.

I vowed tonever, ever let another linget in tha condition, and 12 1/2 yrs later many years later I had to make that seam decision with my 2ed Irirsh Sette who was diagnosed with bone cancer a few months after he turned 12. My heart said do anything, but my brain and common sense said no, enjoy time with him, specail time. I did and I let him go as soon as we knew it had spread to his shoulder. i hav never regretted it.

oh, he had taken to peeing in his sleep and me vet game him some pills and it stopped. this was about 1 1/2 years before he got the bone cancer in that rear leg.

just remember this--we keep them for ourselves, we let them go tfor them. It has been 4 years since I had to make that decsion for my 8 yr 9 month old golden girl following cancer surgery. So hard to do and I i still miss her as I do all the dogs I have lost over the lat 55 years!

Bless your sweet girl.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

I am so very sorry. Personally, I would get her on insulin immediately.... even if it meant going to the ER tonight. If her sugars are that high, time is of the essence. Then I'd reassess her condition once her sugars have come down. Uncontrolled diabetes alone can make her feel awful, cause the lethargy, and be the cause of her peeing uncontrollably. I'd at least give her a shot to see if controlling the diabetes ( giving the insulin is no big deal really) gives her a quality of life.


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## mylissyk

Penny & Maggie's Mom said:


> I am so very sorry. Personally, I would get her on insulin immediately.... even if it meant going to the ER tonight. If her sugars are that high, time is of the essence. Then I'd reassess her condition once her sugars have come down. Uncontrolled diabetes alone can make her feel awful, cause the lethargy, and be the cause of her peeing uncontrollably. I'd at least give her a shot to see if controlling the diabetes ( giving the insulin is no big deal really) gives her a quality of life.


I can feel your hearbreak in your messages. I just wanted agree with Penny&Maggie's Mom, please get her started on insulin, it may help tremendously.


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## Rainheart

The only advice I can give is that you should see if you can get her in to see another vet or go to an emergency vet for the care she needs. Taking that fluid out of her abdomen will make her feels loads better (it will come back, but it may give you the time you need). Also some pain medication may make her feel better. I will be thinking of you. So sorry you are going through this.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I am very sorry. Sending my prayers.


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## jude

my regular vet is coming back a week from today and i have an appointment with him the day he comes back. i have been going to my regular vet for 20 years and like him very much. i am going to try to wait it out with the pain meds. i am praying that my vet will have some common sense answers to give me. thanks for your support and kind words. it means alot to me.


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## Capt Jack

No advice but praying for you to be strong and do what you feel is right


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## Sally's Mom

Your dog sounds very sick... I understand loyalty, but do not wait for one more week for treatment...


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## PrincessDi

I'm very sorry that you and Ella are having to go thru this terrible time. Please do try to get her into see an ER vet or another vet. I understand what a scary time this is. We went thru something very similar with our Golda and congestive heart failure. He became incontinent (the last week we had him in diapers) and he had severe muscle wasting particularly in the rear legs. I can't imagine how much worse it made it to have such lousy vet in your regular vet's abscence. Keeping you both in our thoughts and prayers.


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## GoldensGirl

My heart just aches for you and for Ella. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.

Remember that a diabetic without insulin is basically starving to death because food can't be used by the body. That's why sudden weight loss is such a dramatic indicator of diabetes. If you are going to wait for your vet, I hope you will give your girl insulin, even if you have to take her to the vet for the injections.

Holding Ella and you in my thoughts and prayers,
Lucy


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Sally's Mom said:


> Your dog sounds very sick... I understand loyalty, but do not wait for one more week for treatment...


 
I so agree with Sally's Mom (who is a vet btw). PLEASE don't wait a week before beginning insulin treatment. The difference it could make is immense. I would have her at the ER tonight.


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## amy22

I am so sorry Ella is so sick. I am praying for her and for you.


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## Lucky Penny

I am so sad to read of about what you and your girl are going through. : ( I agree though. I would not wait a week, there are many other great vets out there, and I would urge you to go to a emergency vet right away. Then next week still go see your other vet, but she needs a vet now.

My thoughts go out to you.


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## Sweet Girl

I'm so sorry to hear about the diagnoses. But at least for the diabetes, there is something that you can do right now to help her feel better. I hope you will reconsider and get her on the insulin right away. As a few people have said here, it could help her to feel immensely better NOW. Your fill-in vet may be a bit of a jerk to you, but he can help you help Ella. Ultimately, it may be worth it for her.

My heart goes out to you and sweet Ella.


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## jude

*going today for insulin*

going today for insulin and painkillers. will reassess next week when vet comes back into town. hopefully he will come out to the house to see her. last nite was awful again. she got off her bed by herself and tried to crawl out to the livingroom. she made it halfway and collapsed. yesterday she had a nice day though. she sat outside and rolled in the grass with her stuffed animal while my husband played music for her. she loves when he plays the guitar for her. My sweet ella. so gentle, so smart, so sweet. if i can figure out how to post pictures i will so you all can see my beautiful baby.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending prayers for Ella to feel better soon.
Here is the link for posting photos:
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...age/105935-video-tutorial-posting-photos.html


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

SO glad that you'll get her started on insulin today. For those dependent on it ( like my husband), it's a necessity and a death sentence without it. I'm hoping that your sweet girl will feel immensely better once you get her started and regulated. It may take some blood tests to see how much she needs but that's very important too... don't skimp there. I hope you see her feeling better quickly and that it gives you more quality time together.


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## toliva

I have been following this thread, and I am so happy to see you are going to get her on insulin today. 

I'm sorry she is sick. The insulin will help *tremendously*.


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## Angelina

I too hope the insulin helps and she can become healthy again...hang in there....K


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## jude

*Started insulin today*

Thanks to all of you for convincing me to start on the insulin even though her overall prognosis is not good. Vet visit today was with the second substitute vet. He was much more helpful than the first one. This vet explained everything without the hysterics. I understand that she probably has less than a month but that the insulin and painkillers will make this month more tolerable for her and that's all that matters to me. We gave the injection and the painkiller and she is resting comfortably right now.


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## PrincessDi

Just wanted to thank Buddy's Mom for posting the link on how to post pictures. Would just love to see pictures of Ella when you have time. Really sending thoughts and prayers that you are able to get her discomfort under control so that you have more time with you girl that is free of pain!


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## CAROLINA MOM

I'm glad to hear Ella is doing better and resting comfortably.

It's very sad and difficult to see them when they get like this, but making her comfortable and making the most of each and every day you have with her is what is most important right now. 

I hope you have more time than what you anticipate. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ella.


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## GoldenCamper

I hope she gets better soon. Here is the picture of her in your album you wanted to post.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

ELLA

You are one beautiful girl!! We will be praying for her!


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## janababy

Ella, is such a sweetie girl. Wishing you all the best for her.


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## nolefan

What a sweet face.... thank you so, so much for updating us and letting us know she is being treated and seems more comfortable. I've been thinking about you all a lot.


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## Rainheart

So glad you got her to a vet. The insulin will help her feel a lot better. Cherish the time you have with your sweet girl! Please keep us updated on her condition.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Oh my, Ella you are a doll! What a precious picture. I hope she feels better and that you have more time than expected. Like others have said, cherish each and every moment. Take pictures, study her every feature, every hair, what her paws smell like ( seriously!), look deep in her eyes and tell her how you feel and what she means to you. Believe me, she'll understand. Hugs to you both.


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## jude

thank you for posting ella's picture and thank you all for your lovely thoughts and words.


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## Wagners Mom2

What a beautiful girl. I'm so glad you got her to the vet for some relief. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS))).


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## Chance Benjamin

The first vet I took Chance to told me I needed to prepare to put him down. Obviously I needed another opinion. Once he started his treatment for lymphoma I couldn't imagine if I would have listened to my first vet. Getting the right meds that will make Ella be able to enjoy the rest of her time with you is crucial. She is soo adorable!! Enjoy all your time together....that's exactly what Chance and I do everyday.


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## toliva

I'm so glad to hear she is resting comfortably. I love the picture. She is so sweet!!!


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## Caesar's Buddy

I have been following this post and wanted to say how sorry I am for your pain. Like everyone on here, I have been through the sadness and sorrow that you are feeling.

I guess the only thing I want to say is this. Follow your heart. You will know when the right time is. I am praying for you.

Pat


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## Sweet Girl

How is Ella doing now after a day or so of the insulin? Have you seen a marked difference? I so hope she is feeling better.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and for you.


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## MercyMom

jude said:


> going today for insulin and painkillers. will reassess next week when vet comes back into town. hopefully he will come out to the house to see her. last nite was awful again. she got off her bed by herself and tried to crawl out to the livingroom. she made it halfway and collapsed. yesterday she had a nice day though. she sat outside and rolled in the grass with her stuffed animal while my husband played music for her. she loves when he plays the guitar for her. My sweet ella. so gentle, so smart, so sweet. if i can figure out how to post pictures i will so you all can see my beautiful baby.


Ahhh, that sounds lovely how your husband played the guitar for your beloved Ella!


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## jude

thanks for asking.. She seems less restless. She is drinking less water. I don't know if that is the insulin kicking in or whether that is the acute lymphocytic leukemia. The pain killer is helping her the most right now. she seems more willing to try to get up on her own. one day at a time, right? it just seems impossible that this disease could take her so quickly. She is still so connected. Ella has never barked. She always communicated by either a little wag of the tail meaning that she is in agreement or a certain look. We always know what she is trying to tell us. so i guess we will know when she wants us to help her this last time.


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## Karen519

*Jude*

JUDE

SO very sorry for what you and Ella are going through-praying for her and you.

If she starts to have trouble breathing, make sure you get her to an emergency vet right away.


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## PrincessDi

Praying for your Ella that the meds do the trick and keep her comfortable. Also praying that you don't see that look until far ahead in the future.


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## ssteuart

Been following this thread, I am very glad the meds are making her comfy and feeling a bit better. We are praying you have more time that you expect, and praying for Ella and you that everyday gets better.


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## jude

quick update.. Ella had a pretty good day today. The weather was beautiful and she sat outside and actually played with her favorite stuffed animal, tossing it up in the air and rolling in the grass. The painkillers are really helping her alot I think. Days like this make me think that maybe the bloods were wrong, that she couldnt have this horrible bone marrow cancer lurking waiting to get her. Then I catch myself and remind myself that in a few weeks I could be looking at a much different picture. I'm going to post some pictures on my page. I still dont know how to move them to this page, but I wanted to show you all what a beauty she is when she is feeling like herself.


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## Wyatt's mommy

That's awesome! But personally if her sugar level was that high the insulin is playing a huge part here. Glad she is feeling better!


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## coppers-mom

I'm glad Ella is feeling better and had a good day!


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## GoldenCamper

Happy she is having a good day


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> quick update.. Ella had a pretty good day today. The weather was beautiful and she sat outside and actually played with her favorite stuffed animal, tossing it up in the air and rolling in the grass. The painkillers are really helping her alot I think. Days like this make me think that maybe the bloods were wrong, that she couldnt have this horrible bone marrow cancer lurking waiting to get her. Then I catch myself and remind myself that in a few weeks I could be looking at a much different picture. I'm going to post some pictures on my page. I still dont know how to move them to this page, but I wanted to show you all what a beauty she is when she is feeling like herself.


I'm so happy she had a good day. And I bet it's the insulin and the balancing of the blood sugars that really has her feeling better. Enjoy every moment with her - try not to think beyond each day. I'm going to check out your page because I'd love to see more of her...


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## GoldenCamper

I took a look, she sure looks happy!


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## hotel4dogs

I love her smile! Glad to hear the meds are helping her, and praying you have time to make a lot more memories with your sweet girl.


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## toliva

So happy to read this evening's update . I bet that insulin has her feeling a million times better. When I took my cat in to the vet before he was diagnosed, I did not think I would be bringing him home, that's how sick he was. They diagnosed and gave him insulin and he was a new kitty!


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## dborgers

We adopted a TVGRR senior, Trevor, who was approximately 13 years old. He was skin and bones. Very little muscle mass, coat like straw. Turned out, after thousands of dollars in tests, he had leukemia.

In our efforts to save Trevor's life, we fortunately found the vet who's been our regular golden vet for many, many years now, Dr. James Root. He was given the recipe for a 'cocktail' of drugs (in a shot) by his mentor, who'd been practicing over 50 years at the time. Dr. Root's golden and that of one of his techs both donated blood for two blood transfusions spaced out over a couple months. Helped tremendously.

Together, the drug cocktail and transfusions worked like a charm to help with the low platelet count, energy, etc. 

Trevor lived 5 more months and went to the bridge with a shiny coat and waggy tail and had fun. When he was diagnosed he could barely walk he was so tired and in such bad shape.

If your dog does indeed have leukemia I can highly recommend the drug cocktail recipe and blood transfusions based on our own experience. They extended Trevor's life by 5 months, and he had energy all the time.

Dr. Root himself has been practicing for about 40 years.

Here's his number if you'd like to have your vet call him for the drug cocktail recipe:

Dr. James Root
Root Animal Hospital
Goodlettsville, TN
615-851-6868

We wish you all the best.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Glad to hear that Ella is having a good day.


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## PrincessDi

Glad to hear your beautiful girl with the big smile, had a much better day today. Hope she has many more days like today!


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## *Laura*

I've just read your thread and am so sorry that you and Ella are going through this. I'm glad that Ella is having better days. Enjoy each day together


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## jude

Thank you so much Andy's Dad. I will have my vet call him for sure. Today after insulin and painkillers she was doing so beautifully. Happy, tail wagging, playing with her stuffed toys. She drank, ate and rolled in the grass. I had such hope. Now tonite she doesnt want to get up, go out, eat or even lift her head. I need to know how fast this is going to ravage my poor baby. if the cocktail only extended his life for 5 months, how fast is this going to progress without the cocktail? Oh god, this morning I had some hope. I thought maybe everyone is wrong, she was misdiagnosed. Now I look at her and see that she has lost weight in one day. How could this be?


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending my prayers for Ella to feel better. She is so sweet.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Saying prayers for Ella and you. Has she had her insulin today? Has she eaten since?


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## Rainheart

It could be that her pain medication has worn off as of late. Maybe you could see if you can either split up the current dose or give her another dose in the evening (be sure to discuss this with your vet!!) I am hoping she will have some more good days ahead of her.


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## jude

She had her insulin at noon and gets her second dose at midnight. She ate today, and had her two painkillers, but she doesnt look good tonight.


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## *Laura*

I feel for you. I know the worry is overwhelming. I've just been through caring for my sick heart dog and it's so hard.


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> She had her insulin at noon and gets her second dose at midnight. She ate today, and had her two painkillers, but she doesnt look good tonight.


Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I hope she is better this morning. I wonder if the pain med dose has to be adjusted now that she's on the insulin? I have no idea... just grasping for ideas.

Hope she is feeling better today. Sending positive thoughts.


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## jude

I put ella's bed right next to mine. She used to sleep with me but as her legs igave her more and more difficulty it became harder to help her up. We finally put the mattress on the floor hoping that that would help but eventually that was too high too so now she sleeps on her own bed right next to me. This morning I opened my eyes and there she was, bright eyed and bushy tailed wagging and happy. I helped her outside and she held herself up while she pee'd. What a girl. I hope this will be a good day for her. I think all the prayers and good thoughts are helping her. I know they are helping me.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Oh I'm SO glad to see this. What a sweetheart. So glad she's feeling better this morning. Prayers continue for you both. Enjoy the day, the moment with her.


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## PrincessDi

Very relieved to read that Ella's morning was much better. Will continue to say prayers for you both that she has many very good days ahead.


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## Angelina

That is good news.....hoping the meds have kicked in!


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## goldensrbest

So very happy,she is feeling better.


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## ssteuart

Good news Jude and Ella!! Our paws are still crossed here! Glad she's feeling better.


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## *Laura*

Such great news. That is just about the best way to begin any day... Bright eyes and wagging tail waiting to greet us in the morning. I hope Ella had a good day


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## maggsd

Hi Jude

I'm so dreadfully sorry to here your sad news, I have just loss two boys within 2 days of each other, one died naturally, the other went on his way to Rainbow Bridge with a little help from a devastated mum.

Hold your baby close and I think you will know when its time.

I'm thinking of you in my prayers at this most difficult time.


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## maggsd

Hi Jude

I'm so dreadfully sorry to here your sad news, I have just lost two boys within 2 days of each other, one died naturally, the other went on his way to Rainbow Bridge with a little help from a devastated mum.

Hold your baby close and I think you will know when its time.

I'm thinking of you in my prayers at this most difficult time., I hope she improves and you have that extra special time with her.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

So glad that Ella is sleeping next to you and I am praying for her!


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## jude

Another pretty good start to the day today. Painkiller in a hard boiled egg and shot of insulin seems to do the trick for now. She's still losing weight though. Cooking her steak, chicken, broccoli and a little fruit for desert. Trying to stay away from the grains and rice. Her thirst and food consumption seems more normalized from the insulin and she's able to make it thru the night without an accident. We are both quite happy about that. One day at a time. Appointment with her regular vet on Tuesday morning. Interested to see what he has to say. Keep the prayers coming. They seem to be helping.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

I'm so thrilled that she is doing so well. You might be able to increase her calorie intake with some green tripe. Tripetts is sold canned at many of the boutique type pet stores ( not Petsmart/Co). Green tripe is SO good for them and the large cans I think are 300-400 cals. It's also a wonderful appetite stimulant if it's ever needed. We call it doggy crack at our house. I've found a source of fresh green tripe now, but fed Trippets for years and I swear our crew would spin, howl, cry etc when they'd see the cans! lol

There have been so so many instances of how powerful the prayers/good thoughts of this forum are.... and right now I'm sending my share to you all.


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## Sweet Girl

I am definitely still sending all my good wishes - and all my positive thoughts. I'm so happy that the insulin is helping her. And I hope her appetite comes back and she puts the weight back on.

You'll feel better seeing your usual vet. And he'll be able to give you some good information about managing her pain - but it really sounds like she is doing better. Hope it continues. Big kiss to Ella. :smooch:


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## Buddy's mom forever

So happy to read sweet Ella is doing better, one day at the time. Sending my prayers and hugs to Ella and you.


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## jude

i'm on the hunt for green tripe.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

jude said:


> i'm on the hunt for green tripe.


 
She will be forever grateful. lol


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Here's the Trippet site. They have a store locator. Tripett We always used the plain green tripe.. the green can. It's not a complete diet but can be added to her kibble. My crew would split a can on top of their dinner. Yum!


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## newport

Sweet Girl said:


> Oh, I'm so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and Ella.
> 
> *The diapers are a really good idea* - at least it will help her from the anxiety of going in the house, and save her from having to lie in the wet. I really hope your vet, or another vet, can help you soon.


*Yes- diapers are a good idea.* It worked for my 14 year old Irish Setter in his last year. I bought human adult diapers and cut a hole out for his tail.


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## 3SweetGoldens

Praying for your sweet girl. I just read this entire post, and it makes me so happy for her and you, that she seems to be doing so much better. Thinking of you both, and sending so many positive thoughts and prayers.


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## ssteuart

Great news Jude and Ella! I am now on the Tripe hunt as well, my old gal needs to pack some pounds on as well, but other than that she seems to be doing well. Keeping the good vibes coming for you guys!!


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## jude

she's a beauty. i'm so glad that she is feeling well. tonight ella stumbled a few times and this time her front legs gave out on her. i felt so bad but she seemed to be ok afterwards. now she is sleeping. i gave her another pain killer.


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## Capt Jack

More prayers going out for you two!!


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## Buddy's mom forever

Wish you have a peaceful night and wonderful day tomorrow. Prayers continued.


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## jude

Just an update...It's a dreary day today, kind of cold and damp. Not good weather for Ella's old bones, nor mine either for that matter. She had a good breakfast of boiled chicken and broccoli and a little cheese. Trying to keep her away from carbs because of the diabetes. She still has a good appetite, but is losing the weight because of the cancer. She had her pain meds and is now fast asleep right next to steve who is giving a music lesson in our living room. She has always loved his music so this must be a nice afternoon for her. I just read the stats on the cancer database for lymphocytic leukemia, ALL, and if the dx. was correct (which i'm secretly praying that the docs are wrong) then it looks like her decline could be in 6 weeks or so. I am scared to death. I can't even imagine life without Ella. We went thru this with my first golden, Cello - and i'm not ready to go thru this again.


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

We will all be here for Ella and you-I am so very sorry.
The most important thing is that Ella does not suffer and has quality of life.
I am praying for her and you.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

I'm glad she's snoozing next to the music she loves! Just remember that she has no idea she is ill, has no foreboding of what is to come. Try your best to live in that moment with her... much easier said than done I know, but something to strive for. Spoil her, love her, and spend time just talking to her and gazing into her eyes. We will be here to support you. This is a great place to vent, get out all those feelings that can well up... and know that we understand and won't judge.

Also, if you can't find the tripe locally, there are many places you can order online.

I will be praying for you all.


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## VickiR

You can get tripe at OmasPride.com

Look for a distributor near you or you can order from them directly.


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## MercyMom

jude said:


> I put ella's bed right next to mine. She used to sleep with me but as her legs igave her more and more difficulty it became harder to help her up. We finally put the mattress on the floor hoping that that would help but eventually that was too high too so now she sleeps on her own bed right next to me. This morning I opened my eyes and there she was, bright eyed and bushy tailed wagging and happy. I helped her outside and she held herself up while she pee'd. What a girl. I hope this will be a good day for her. I think all the prayers and good thoughts are helping her. I know they are helping me.


I am so happy to see that Ella is doing better.  May she have many more good days.


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## MercyMom

jude said:


> Just an update...It's a dreary day today, kind of cold and damp. Not good weather for Ella's old bones, nor mine either for that matter. She had a good breakfast of boiled chicken and broccoli and a little cheese. Trying to keep her away from carbs because of the diabetes. She still has a good appetite, but is losing the weight because of the cancer. She had her pain meds and is now fast asleep right next to steve who is giving a music lesson in our living room. She has always loved his music so this must be a nice afternoon for her. I just read the stats on the cancer database for lymphocytic leukemia, ALL, and if the dx. was correct (which i'm secretly praying that the docs are wrong) then it looks like her decline could be in 6 weeks or so. I am scared to death. I can't even imagine life without Ella. We went thru this with my first golden, Cello - and i'm not ready to go thru this again.


My prayers go out to you. You will be in my thoughts.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Those are my happy memories (no matter I am crying now), at cold winter nights coming into the house after evening walk, my daughter playing piano and my Buddy and me laying down on the floor next to her, his paw in my hand and my other hand on his heart.

Read this somewhere *Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness. *Think about tomorrow when it comes. Sending positive thoughts and prayers for Ella and you.


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## GoldensGirl

Buddy's mom forever said:


> ...Read this somewhere *Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness. *...




This is so very true. And so is this: 



Penny & Maggie's Mom said:


> ...Just remember that she has no idea she is ill, has no foreboding of what is to come. Try your best to live in that moment with her... much easier said than done I know, but something to strive for. Spoil her, love her, and spend time just talking to her and gazing into her eyes...


When I think about the many lessons that Sabrina taught me during our battle with her kidney disease and that Charlie tried to get through my dense skull while we struggled with his seizures and suspected brain tumor, both stayed focused on HERE and NOW. Neither of them wasted time on regrets and neither of them wallowed in worry and self-pity, though I was inclined to both.

If you can let Ella be your guide, the time to come will be rich and beautiful, despite the difficulties, and you will make many memories to treasure. When she is gone, you will know that you gave her every moment of happiness that could be wrung from her time with you. There is peace in that thought.

Holding Ella and you in my thoughts and prayers,
Lucy


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## PrincessDi

So glad that Ella is having a good day today. Praying that the dx is wrong and that your girl has lots more time that is free of pain. 

Here is a link to locate a store near you for green trip:

Tripett

You'd be surprised how a kid that won't eat will go for this delicacy! Hope it helps.


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## jude

thank you for those wise and kind words. although i am sobbing now like a baby.. i know that you are right and as such as life hands us, the terribly painful and wonderfully sweet our job is to love as much as we can while we can and when it's over, to let them go with as much dignity and grace as possible. but it still hurts my heart.


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## davebeech

I wish I could offer the answer, but only you will know.
our thoughts are with you


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## jude

Well, i went to the vet today with Ella. I should have just stayed home. I guess I had just convinced myself that the dx. was wrong because i didn't like the substitute vet, but I guess I just didn't like the news that I got because now i don't like my reg vet either - childish i guess, but oh well... he said the same thing.. no prednisone, no chemo - stage V leukemia. probably will be gone in 3-6 weeks. oh my heart is broken... i asked whether when we get close or if she is in excruciating pain will he come to the house to put her down and he gave me some nonsense about his practice, depends on this or that..... some bedside manner. 
that's after being a loyal patient for over 20 years. i know i am just trying to think about other things, so i am getting mad at him for not much, but still..


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## goldensrbest

Sorry your vet, did not say yes i will come, that is what he should had said,i feel, and sorry the news was not better.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Research around and see if you can find a mobile vet or a vet who will come to your home. I would get an appt and familiarize them with your situation. I would also ask for meds so that if there is extreme pain in the middle of the night that you can sedate her so she doesn't suffer before he could make it out. I'm so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you all. Give that sweet girl an ear rub from me.


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## Debles

Does he think she is in pain? MY uncle died of leukemia and he just got weaker and weaker. No pain. I'd pick a day that the vet can arrange his schedule to come to your house. That's what our vet did for Selka. I am SO very very sorry.


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## jude

i gave her the ear rub. she opened an eye and gave a little wag. I told her it was from one of her new friends. i have been reading her all the prayers and good wishes she's been getting.


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## jude

debles.. i don't know if she is in pain from leukemia, but she's got a number of things going on at the same time. her hips are very painful and legs are very weak and painful.


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## Sweet Girl

Treasure every moment - and remember she doesn't know she's sick.

I second the suggestion to find a vet who will come to your house. It's about what you feel is best for your dog. Your loyalty is to her. Don't feel guilty about going to another vet if it will be better for Ella.

My thoughts are with you.


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## Buddy's mom forever

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet Ella. My prayers are coming from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry that there is no any other way to help you. Sending gentle hugs to beautiful Ella.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

You tell that sweet girl that her new friends in Dallas are sending lots of sloppy golden and springer kisses and a fair share of human ones too. Bless you both.


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## GoldensGirl

I'm so very sorry that the news from your trusted vet was not what you hoped for.

You mentioned that Ella's legs are weak. I know from experience that helping a Golden with failing legs is hard on the arms and back. Here's a thread that has a variety of devices that can help: http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...y-breed-standard/92648-assistive-devices.html. For Charlie, we relied on the HelpEmUp harness, which I learned about from GRF friends.

Draw deeply on your love for Ella and you find a source of strength and courage to do what is best for her. 

Holding you and Ella in my thoughts and prayers,
Lucy


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## PrincessDi

I'm just now catching up and am so sad to read that your regular vet agreees with the other. Can vouch for the Help em up harness. It helped our Di alot toward the end. We actually took her to a 3rd vet (Oncologist) for a 3rd opinion. It was so hard to hear confirmation. We are continuing to keep you both in our thoughts and prayers at such a difficult time.


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

I am so very sorry for Ella's bad news. 

Is there an emergency vet near you in case your vet can't come if you need him?

Ella and you are in my prayers.


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## jude

thank you all for your help and your thooughts. i am looking into getting some assistive devices to help lift her because i am feeling it in my back and knees now. also, i have been trying to contact some other vets in the area to check on their availability if necessary. not as easy as you would think. i got the name of someplace called earth angel vets. they are supposed to be very compassionate. i hope they are. i know myself, i have to like the vet alot inorder to let him or her near ella, especially at the end like this. so i'll keep looking. at least it keeps me busy.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending positive, healing thoughts and prayers for sweet Ella to have good days only.


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Praying for Ella and you.

Did you see this post by GoldensGirl on assistive devices?
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...y-breed-standard/92648-assistive-devices.html
Many people on GRF have used the Help Me Up Harness.


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## PrincessDi

Definitely praying for both Ella and you to give you strength and wisdom. I believe that if you listen to your heart and Ella's it will give you the wisdom to make the difficult choices.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Prayers for sweet Ella, hope she is feeling better.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you.


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## jude

so far the prayers are working. she's living in the moment as you all talked about. she's happy and we're taking it one day at a time.


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## coppers-mom

jude said:


> so far the prayers are working. she's living in the moment as you all talked about._ she's happy and we're taking it one day at a time_.


that is good to hear.


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## *Laura*

So happy to hear that Ella is having a good day


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## goldencontriever3

Keeping you and Ella in our thoughts and prayers. Hope you both have a good weekend.


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## Karen519

*Jude & ella*

Jude

That's all any of us can do is to take it One Day At A Time!
Kiss Ella, love her and take lots of pictures!!


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Hope you and Ella have a wonderful weekend, loving and spoiling one another.


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## MercyMom

Jude, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. My thoughts are with you. I am glad to hear that Ella is living in the moment as of right now. Hang in there. Enjoy her this weekend. I hope the Earth Angel Vets are good to you. If it were me, I would not accept any attitude other than the most compassionate during this heart breaking time. Hugs from me to you and Ella. Give her lots of love from me.


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## Sweet Girl

Just checking in - hope Ella is having a good weekend.


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## jude

thanks for checking in. well, i just posted another picture today. she seems to be having a little bit of a rough time tonight. She's lost more weight although her appetite is insatiable. I think the diabetes must be due to her pancreas being attacked. She groans when I put any pressure on her belly. I can't use a harness to lift her because it's too uncomfortable for her. i found a way to lift her back hips a little which helps to get her up and then if i steady her a little she gets her footing and is able to go outside to pee. she can still squat, but is wobbly. i think she knows that something horrible is happening to her and that's what i can't stand. we have wood floors so we put little rugs down all over so she doesnt slip and she looked down at the floor tonite when i got her up to eat and backed up so she wouldnt walk on the bare floor. i feel so helpless and am so sad.


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## jude

i called earth angels. some angels - they don't make house calls either. sometimes i wish i had the courage to do it myself.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I know how heartbreaking is for you to see your Ella in this state. I am praying with all my heart she is feeling better and stay with you more time. I went thru that when you feel so helpless as you cant do so much. Praying for you to find a vet who does house calls. Thinking of sweet Ella and sending gentle hugs and kisses.
I am on my way to light the candle for sweet Ella to feel better.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I did not go back to see anyone left this link, maybe you can find someone close to you listed there:
http://www.housecallvets.org/


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## PrincessDi

I'm very sorry to read that Ella had a bad evening. I saw the pictures that you posted yesterday of your beautiful girl. She has the sweetest face. I completely understand how it tears you apart to watch them go downhill. I'm on my way to light another candle for Ella as well. Please know that you're both in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Aislinn

I'm so sorry Ella is not doing well. She is in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Sweet Girl

Oh, I am so very sorry to hear she is having a bad time. Hoping it is just a blip and that she will feel stronger later today. Sweet kisses to Ella.


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## GoldensGirl

jude said:


> i called earth angels. some angels - they don't make house calls either. sometimes i wish i had the courage to do it myself.


I'm sorry you and your girl are having such a hard time. 

The emergency vet clinic where we used to take Charlie had lists of vets who would make house calls, especially at the end. Perhaps there's something similar in your area? 

Also, if you Google "veterinary house call euthanasia," you'll get a list of places that provide this service. I suspect that adding the name of your city to the query would help to narrow the results.

These are such difficult times. I hope that you draw strength and courage from your love for Ella.

Holding Ella and you in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

I'm so sorry she is having such a rough time. Somewhere I read her sugars were very very high???? I can't find the post now. If they are, I'd call the emergency vet... those seemed so dangerously high. Many prayers coming your way.


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## goldhaven

I am so sorry that you have to go through this. When I found myself in a similar situation, and my vet wouldn't even call me back, in desperation, I called the local animal shelter. They were able to point me in the directions of a mobile vet that made house calls. He was able to come the same day. 
My prayers are with you and Ella.


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## jude

thanks, i'm going to google it now.


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## Buddy's mom forever

How is your sweet girl this morning? I hope she is feeling better.


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## jude

having a difficult time managing her diabetes. her blood glucose level fluctuates much too much. she is sleeping an awful lot these days. her water consumption and urine output is not excessive anymore, so the insulin must be doing something. either that or something is just shutting down. it is overwhelming.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

I'm so so sorry. This is such a hard, overwhelming time. Know that you're in our thoughts and prayers.


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## cgriffin

I am so sorry that your sweet baby has to go through this. Wishing you both all the best!


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## Debles

I am so very sorry. Prayers being sent for you and Ella.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending my prayers for beautiful Ella.


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## HolDaisy

I am so sorry that you are going through this with your beautiful girl Ella. You are both in our thoughts and prayers


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## Sweet Girl

I'm so sorry. Is she still on the pain meds, too? Any sign she is uncomfortable? She may be doing okay - just needing some extra rest..


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## Wagners Mom2

Still praying for Ella,...and you. (((HUGS))).


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## *Laura*

How did sweet Ella do today? Thinking of you


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying for Ella-do you think she is in pain?
If you can't find someone to come to the house, can you take her to the vet?


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## rbrooks

Our Prayers go out to you and Ella!!


Bob


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sendin many prayers for sweet Ella to feel better.


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## Sweet Girl

Just checking in to see how Ella is doing today. Hoping no news is good news...


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sweet Girl said:


> Just checking in to see how Ella is doing today. Hoping no news is good news...


Me too. Sending more prayers for sweet Ella. Candle lit.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for sweet Ella!!


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## Buddy's mom forever

Praying for sweet Ella. I hope she is well.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Keeping Ella in our prayers!!


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## jude

thanks everyone. you are just wonderful. ella had a good day yesterday. out in the sun, rolling in the grass. took her to the vet the day before - big mistake. she's better off at home enjoying every moment she has. i asked vet to check her bloods again just to make sure of dx. he confirmed everything again. too many leukocytes to count. big ones, little ones, all kinds of strange cells seen in her blood. that's why diabetes can't be brought under control. pancreas, liver - lots of things involved. the one thing i couldnt believe though - the vet and his staff knows an old and very sick dog is coming in - they don't prepare at all like provide a mat so she can stand. we brought our own, but it wasnt big enuf and she looked like a little beached seal - pulling herself on her front feet until she could get to the mat we brought. i really wanted to smack someone. that's it for this vet. i am going to bring her to earth angels. and i have the name of two mobile vets - one is affiliated with an emergency transport company. they work 24/7 and will pick her up if we have a real and sudden emergency in the middle of the night. they will come with a vet if need be. but thru all the angst, she still loves her chicken and broccoli meals and can still get herself outside a little bit.


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## Chance Benjamin

Praying for Ella, hope she is pain free and enjoying every moment you guys have together!


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying that Ella is pain free and can enjoy time with you.
I wouild have asked the vet to bring a mat.
Glad you are going to Earth Angels and have the numbers of vets who can come in an emergency.


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> thanks everyone. you are just wonderful. ella had a good day yesterday. out in the sun, rolling in the grass. took her to the vet the day before - big mistake. she's better off at home enjoying every moment she has. i asked vet to check her bloods again just to make sure of dx. he confirmed everything again. too many leukocytes to count. big ones, little ones, all kinds of strange cells seen in her blood. that's why diabetes can't be brought under control. pancreas, liver - lots of things involved. the one thing i couldnt believe though - the vet and his staff knows an old and very sick dog is coming in - they don't prepare at all like provide a mat so she can stand. we brought our own, but it wasnt big enuf and she looked like a little beached seal - pulling herself on her front feet until she could get to the mat we brought. i really wanted to smack someone. that's it for this vet. i am going to bring her to earth angels. and i have the name of two mobile vets - one is affiliated with an emergency transport company. they work 24/7 and will pick her up if we have a real and sudden emergency in the middle of the night. they will come with a vet if need be. but thru all the angst, she still loves her chicken and broccoli meals and can still get herself outside a little bit.


Bless her heart. And thank goodness for the Earth Angels. You are right to leave your vet if they can't even offer that kind of basic compassion. Ella is the priority.

Treasure everyday you have with her. Sending you best wishes. I'm glad she had a good day yesterday - and hope there are many more.


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## AmberSunrise

That vet should be ashamed!! My vets bring a blanketed gurney to and from your car and will exam on the gurney if necessary. I thought dogs would hate that, but they seem to love it.

Sending thoughts and prayers that Ella has many more good days for you both to enjoy.



jude said:


> thanks everyone. you are just wonderful. ella had a good day yesterday. out in the sun, rolling in the grass. took her to the vet the day before - big mistake. she's better off at home enjoying every moment she has. i asked vet to check her bloods again just to make sure of dx. he confirmed everything again. too many leukocytes to count. big ones, little ones, all kinds of strange cells seen in her blood. that's why diabetes can't be brought under control. pancreas, liver - lots of things involved. the one thing i couldnt believe though - the vet and his staff knows an old and very sick dog is coming in - they don't prepare at all like provide a mat so she can stand. we brought our own, but it wasnt big enuf and she looked like a little beached seal - pulling herself on her front feet until she could get to the mat we brought. i really wanted to smack someone. that's it for this vet. i am going to bring her to earth angels. and i have the name of two mobile vets - one is affiliated with an emergency transport company. they work 24/7 and will pick her up if we have a real and sudden emergency in the middle of the night. they will come with a vet if need be. but thru all the angst, she still loves her chicken and broccoli meals and can still get herself outside a little bit.


----------



## PrincessDi

So sorry that your girl had to go through that with the vet. I have no idea why some folks decide to be vets! I'm so glad that you have an alternate plan for her care. That sounds like an amazing service. Praying that your girl has more time that is free of pain.


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## Jennifer1

I know this is of little help, but have you been able to check her blood sugar levels at home? It can be easily done with a normal glucometer that a human would use. It might help to be able to get the blood sugar under control a little better.

K9diabetes.com Diabetes in Dogs - Monitoring Diabetes

I had a diabetic cat for 11 years, and know that when their blood sugar is off they don't feel good. Obviously not a big help, but it could help her feel just a little better for what time she has left.


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## jude

i do check her urine and blood every day but because of the leukemia and evidently other things, it is making her sugar levels spike and hard to manage.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Many prayers for Ella and you. Wishing you a good weekend together.


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## Finn's Fan

Wishing that you and Ella have many more happy days together. Give that brave girl a smooch from me, please.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending more prayers your way for sweet Ella.


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## jude

thanks. she had a nice day today. rolling in the grass, wagging her tail, even lying in the cool mud. she ate well, had her insulin and her painkiller. i can't imagine the prognosis is right when i look at her on a good day. how could people say 4-6 weeks. doesnt seem possible. does anyone have any differnt information


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## Buddy's mom forever

Stop the time, smell the roses, enjoy the moment, do not count how many days were gone as nobody knows how many is left. You have no idea how much I enjoy to read Ella had a nice day. Sending endless prayers for many, many days like today. I really wish I could stop the time for you.


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## maggsd

Prayers being said for you and ella, hope you have many more precious moments with your sweet girl.


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## jude

im trying to stop the time. i really am.


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## jude

ella has a bed next to ours since she cant get up onto our bed to cuddle anymore. this morning i opened my eyes and there she was head on her pillow eyes open just watching us sleep. we both climbed out of our bed and into hers (it's a big futon mattress) and cuddled for a long time. we were a happy pack of animals for a little while.


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## PrincessDi

WE're praying for a miracle for Ella and more time that is free of pain. You made me smile when I read your last post!! Sending thoughts and prayers that Ella has a wonderful day today.


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## lgnutah

She knows you love her so much, that makes it so much easier


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella you.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

What a wonderful way to start the day. I pray there are many many more just like it. Give her a special little snuggle from us.


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## Sweet Girl

Nothing like bed snuggles! 

Try not to worry too much about that 4-6 week prognosis. Many dogs defy the odds. Just savour each day... She's clearly still happy and enjoying life.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Such a special morning, thank you for sharing it with us. Ella watching you sleep, she loves her people and her people love Ella. Sending many, many prayers to Ella and your family. God bless you all on this special day.


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## GoldensGirl

jude said:


> ella has a bed next to ours since she cant get up onto our bed to cuddle anymore. this morning i opened my eyes and there she was head on her pillow eyes open just watching us sleep. we both climbed out of our bed and into hers (it's a big futon mattress) and cuddled for a long time. we were a happy pack of animals for a little while.


When Charlie reached the point that he couldn't get onto the sofa, we bought a wooden step unit for him: Cedar Pet Stairs - Pet Classics™. Joker and Sunny still use it. Ours is the two-step version, but the same company makes taller ones. We were happily surprised by the speed of service and the quality of the unit, which is strong enough for a very heavy dog (or person). Something like this might give back an ability that was important to Ella and her people. This may seem silly to some, but little things like this matter a lot when any being is aging...at least in my experience.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Checking in on sweet Ella.


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## *Laura*

Thinking of Ella. I hope she's had a good day


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing thoughts and prayers for Ella.


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## mooselips

Big hugs and prayers for Ella........


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## maggsd

Sending prayers to sweet ella and her family.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Hoping you and Ella had a great day!


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying Ella is doing good.


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## jude

just a little update... ella is still with us. she is struggling a little more. her breathing is quite labored at times, but at other times seems to be enjoying the day. she still has an appetite - bless her heart. i think that she will want to eat until the very end. especially those home cooked meals that steve makes her. chicken and veggies. she is loving it. a little before pain meds, a little before insulin. that adds up. she hasnt lost much more weight and when she is outside, she looks like her old self. sleeping more, heavy breathing, stumbling more, definitely more fragile, but still enjoying being with the family. what a girl!!


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thanks for the update. Sending more prayers for sweet girl to be with no pain and enjoy life. I am glad she loves her delicious meals. God bless you all.


----------



## PrincessDi

Keeping sweet Ella in our thoughts and prayers. Hope she has a good day tomorrow and is able to enjoy the things she loves!


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## Lucky Penny

Happy to hear that she is still with you and your able to spend some time with her.


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## Sweet Girl

Treasure each day. Give her an extra kiss from me. I'm glad she's still happy and eating well.


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## maggsd

I've been thinking of your sweet ella and sending hopes & prayers from over the pond. Im glad your enjoying extra special treasured moments.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you!


----------



## nevershoutsav

First, I want to say that I sympathize with you so much, and I am sorry that you all are having to go through this.

However, last year one of my labrador puppies ended up getting distemper (even after having her vaccinations). She was acting normal, and out of the blue began to have multiple seizures in a row. I immediately took her to the vet, where she stayed for two days. They were able to get the seizing to stop, but when I came in the 2nd day to check on her, she looked pitiful and couldn't even stand up. I ended up making the decision to have her put to sleep. The hardest decision I have ever made in my life. I could not bare seeing her suffer, and it broke my heart to have to make that decision. Sometimes it is best to let them go, and end their suffering. There is no doubt you love her very much, and if the situation was to happen that you had to put her to sleep, it does not make you a bad person. I stayed with my girl until she took her very last breath, bawling hysterically and telling her how sorry I was that I had to do this. Ugh, I'm tearing up right now.

I hope things get better, and you find a better vet. I hope your Ella gets to feeling better. Best of luck! You are in my prayers.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

checking in on Ella and you.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending hugs and prayers to sweet Ella.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Checking in on Ella and you all. Hope you are having a weekend of sweet moments with your girl.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Checking in on Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending prayers for Ella.


----------



## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Hoping things are continuing to go well. Give her some ear rubs from us.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of Ella, sending my prayers.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

I hope everything is ok, thinking of Ella and sending my prayers.


----------



## maggsd

Just checking in, to send prayers to sweet Ella XXX


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending my prayers for sweet Ella.


----------



## maggsd

Just checkin in and wondering if anyone has heard how sweet Ella is? Sending Jade and Ella special hugs, and cuddles, my prayers are with you both xxx


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

I just so hope to hear any words from you about sweet Ella. I am praying she is doing well.


----------



## Caesar's Buddy

What is the word on Ella? Hoping things are OK.

Pat


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Jude did not post since April, I sent her PM but no words back. I keep sweet Ella and her family in my thoughts and prayers and hope for the best.


----------



## Sweet Girl

Oh, I hope Ella is okay. I'm going to keep sending positive thoughts her way.


----------



## jude

I haven't been online for a while. Been very busy taking care of sweet Ella. She's still with me thank god. Weaker, thinner and needing constant support and care right now, but still has happy carefree dog like moments. Luckily Steve and I were able to arrange work schedules so one of us is always with her. We've been fighting fleas the natural way - one at a time. Ugh. That's all we needed. We are trying to prepare ourselves for what's coming, but how to make that decision if her legs give out, but she still gives us those looks like what happened mom? So hard. 


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## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> I haven't been online for a while. Been very busy taking care of sweet Ella. She's still with me thank god. Weaker, thinner and needing constant support and care right now, but still has happy carefree dog like moments. Luckily Steve and I were able to arrange work schedules so one of us is always with her. We've been fighting fleas the natural way - one at a time. Ugh. That's all we needed. We are trying to prepare ourselves for what's coming, but how to make that decision if her legs give out, but she still gives us those looks like what happened mom? So hard.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free



THANKS so much for updating us on Ella! I am praying for Ella and you.


----------



## Lucky Penny

Sending some more positive thoughts your way.


----------



## Sweet Girl

Thanks for the update. So happy to hear she is still with you. Much love and positive thoughts coming her way!


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## jealous1

Just a quick thought (may have already been suggested), but I would highly recommend a "help-em-up harness" to help Ella. We take in seniors and I have used it on three of ours so far and they have been a God-send (thank you, Beaushel!). You can view here: Help 'Em Up Dog Harness | Hip Dsysplasia | Dog Carrier 

Prayers going out for all of you from Georgia.


----------



## jude

Thanks for the suggestion of the harness. I will look into it right away. I think a tumor on her spine must have developed. I am up to 3 rymidals (spelling ?) a day. Or it could be the neuropathy is worse from diabetes. Whatever it is, she is still smiling and so r we.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thank you for the update. I am glad that sweet Ella is still with you. Sending healing vibes and prayers for many good days.


----------



## PrincessDi

Glad to read that Ella is continuing to fight to stay with you. Keeping her in our thoughts and prayers that it arthritis and not a tumor on her spine.


----------



## jude

Thanks. Now she is falling every time she tries to step over the threshold going into the house. Pain meds and sleep. That's what we are all about these days. Had to increase the insulin because she is peeing in her sleep again. My husband won't even think of the possibility of helping her over the bridge. Don't know what to do so I just wait. I think she's ready, but Steve isn't . 


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## *Laura*

Thinking of you, Steve and sweet Ella


----------



## Joanne & Asia

I know how hard it is to make the decision to help them cross the bridge. It is something our family is struggling with right now as well with our Eskie who has bladder cancer. Just when we think it is time, they seem to rally and figuring out whether they still have quality of life and adequate pain management is so hard to do. I am at the place where I beleive that they will show us when it is time if we are really doing what is best for them and not for us not wanting to see them go. I am sending prayer to you and Ella at this difficult time.


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## Sweet Girl

Just thinking of you at this time. My heart goes out to you. So hard to see them struggling. Give her a little extra love from all her GRF friends.


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## PrincessDi

I'm very sorry that you're all going through this with Ella. It's so hard to watch them decline. We went through this recently with our Max. We were supposed to let him go 2 weeks ago this Monday. When we go there, my husband just couldn't do it. We did it a couple of days later. Keeping you all in our thoughts at this terrible time.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing vibes, hugs and prayers for sweet Ella. And for you and your husband.


----------



## ChoppersMOM

Bless yall! Jude and Steve, this is one of the hardest things you will ever do in you whole life... I lost my boy over thanksgiving and his mother Honey-girl just a year before that. I was a vet-nurse for some time and I am an ICU (people) nurse now, and I have had to have this talk with people about their animals and about their people. When Honey-girl was sick I remember going to Mom and Dad's late one night and she was laying at the bottom of the steps (her favorite spot) with my Mom weeping over her. She looked at me and said "How will I know"? Think of all the things Ella loves to do, can she do them anymore? If she had a choice of things she would like to do, is what she's doing now something she would choose? We tend to keep animals/people around for "us" not for "them" once they are very ill. I find that when people are asked this question about their animals or their people they all have almost the same response. Hold her and love her and don't leave her side. She needs y'all to be strong for her now, she doesn't have all her strength anymore. For all they give us, were lucky if we are able to give a fraction of that back! God Bless!


----------



## Jadec

Prayers for you, Steve and gorgeous Ella 


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## jude

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It truly means a lot to Steve and I. Our hearts go out to all of you also. Her pain seems worse each day. Getting up now even with help is a struggle and walking is so hard for her. Seems to be worse by the minute. But she is still alert, and wags when we come in. I just don't know how to tell what she needs from us. So hard. She is just so present. It seems like an impossible task to put her down when she is so alert


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## Buddy's mom forever

Your words hit close to home. Went thru all of it. Harder than anything I ever lived thru. Sending healing vibes and prayers for Ella to feel better and have more time with you.


----------



## jude

Just tried putting on ice pack on her back. Can't really tell if it helps or not. Today she rolled in the gass and chewed a stick. Then she couldn't stand and it looked like her hips shifted to the side. Omg. So hard to see. Just gave her more pain meds. 


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## jude

Feels like it is going to be any day now. she tried to get up and fell right down. Don't know what to do. Feeling sick at heart. 


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## Buddy's mom forever

My prayers are with you. Give sweet Ella hugs and belly rubs for me.


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## SandyK

Very sorry your heart is hurting for Ella. Such a hard thing to go through. All I can say right now is love, love, love her. Prayers are with you!!


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## murphy1

Why let your beloved pet suffer. It's time when there is no quality of life. I just went thru this with a six and a half year old. When they are suffering with no hope, giive them peace. Think of them, not yourself. So Sorry! I know how you feel.


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## mylissyk

jude said:


> Thank you all for your kind words and support. It truly means a lot to Steve and I. Our hearts go out to all of you also. Her pain seems worse each day. Getting up now even with help is a struggle and walking is so hard for her. Seems to be worse by the minute. But she is still alert, and wags when we come in. I just don't know how to tell what she needs from us. So hard. She is just so present. It seems like an impossible task to put her down when she is so alert
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


I am so sorry you are in the midst of this struggle. It is so hard to watch them grow old. I would urge you not to let her suffer, one day too soon is better than one day too late. My one day too late was not something I will not describe, but suffice to say if I could turn back time that is the one day I would change and let my girl go before those last hours.

Much love and strength being sent to you and Ella.


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## jude

I don't think I am thinking of myself. I am trying to make sure I pick the right time for her. 


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## *Laura*

I'm so sorry you are going through this... Hugs to you, Steve and an extra big hug for Ella. Such an incredibly difficult time for you


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## PrincessDi

I feel that the last 2 posters should not be so quick to judgement. We have no right to make such hasty decisions. This is a VERY difficult time for Ella and for those that love her. Letting a beloved golden go is something that requires careful consideration.


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> I don't think I am thinking of myself. I am trying to make sure I pick the right time for her.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


And you will. No one here knows your dog better than you. You WILL make the right decision. Hugs to you. This is such a heartbreaking time.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella and you and praying.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you.


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## CAROLINA MOM

This is the most difficult decision I've ever been faced with. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet girl.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending my prayers for you and your sweet girl.


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## PrincessDi

Keeping sweet Ella and your family in our thoughts and prayers at this heartbreaking time.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella and her family. Sending healing vibes, hugs and prayers for lovely Ella.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and her family!


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## Deb_Bayne

Sometimes letting go in your mind releases the decision of letting go physically, dogs can psychically feel the human's need for them to hang on. If one can emotionally come to terms with letting them go the need for euthanasia may not be necessary and the dog will release itself naturally and quietly. I feel this is sometimes an easier way to get closure on this type of situation.


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## jude

I pray that that's the way it goes but if she is taking her cues from my husband, she's going to hang on forever. Today seems. Little easier for her for some reason.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending my prayers for sweet Ella and her family. I hope she is feeling better and is with you for many days.


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## Deb_Bayne

Have YOU talked to her? Give her permission? I did this with my Dad, he wanted to hang on to life so hard because he was so worried about me and what my life would be like without him. I had to say the words to him to let him go, even though it was so hard for me, he was right, my life is so very hard without him but he needed to go to be released from the body that wasn't serving him anymore. I said out loud to him when I felt the time was right, 

"please Dad, I love you and when you see your Doves go with them it's your time to fly". He took his last breath as I finished that sentence. 

I know it's hard, one of the hardest things ever to do is to let go of one who is so precious.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing thoughts and prayers for sweet Ella and her family.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing thoughts and prayers for sweet Ella.


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## jude

Thanks for all the healing thoughts and prayers. Ella has actually rallied a little the past few days. Keeping on her home cooked meals and peaceful life seems to be keeping her in a good place for the moment. Just taking each day at a time yet always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks again for all your support and good wishes. Ella thanks you too and I'm sure wishes she could could give you all lots of sloppy golden kisses, although she is a real lady. 


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## PrincessDi

That is such great news to hear about Ella!! Taking one day at a time with Seniors is always a good course of action. Continueing to send thoughts for much more time with that sweet girl!


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## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> Thanks for all the healing thoughts and prayers. Ella has actually rallied a little the past few days. Keeping on her home cooked meals and peaceful life seems to be keeping her in a good place for the moment. Just taking each day at a time yet always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks again for all your support and good wishes. Ella thanks you too and I'm sure wishes she could could give you all lots of sloppy golden kisses, although she is a real lady.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Good to hear from you and Ella. Praying for you both.


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## Buddy's mom forever

So happy to read your last update. Sending healing thoughts and prayers for sweet Ella. She is not just real lady, she is a fighter too. Sending hugs and kisses to beautiful Ella.


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## jude

Ella has now had diarrhea for three days. Trying rice and other binding foods but now has bloody stools. Fluid in the abdominal area. Can hear gurgling. Called vet. Have appointment on Monday morning.. Will keep u all updated. Keep your paws crossed.


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## PrincessDi

Very sorry Ella is going through this. Keeping Ella and your family in our thoughts and prayers. I understand how hard this is.


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## jude

I'm thinking - I just read about giardiasis . Old dogs with compromised immune systems are more susceptible. Causes diarrhea and bloody stool. Maybe that's what we're dealing with. Well know more on Monday. If things suddenly turn for the worse the emergency vet is on call all day Sunday 


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## *Laura*

Thinking of you and Ella


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## jude

Thanks. So hard. The minute I feed her even tho it's just boiled chicken and rice , it goes rite thru her. She is so weak. Not good. I don't have a good feeling about this Monday appointment at the vet. 


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## mooselips

hugs and good thoughts coming your way..........


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## Oaklys Dad

So sorry you are going through these tough times with Ella. I will be sending you strength tomorrow as you two go through this struggle together.


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## Sweet Girl

Adding my positive thoughts - and I will be thinking of you both Monday.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing vibes and prayers for sweet Ella. I hope she is feeling better soon.


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## jude

Thanks everyone. I may postpone visit until Tuesday. I'll bring in her stool to check for worms tomorrow. Then if that's negative I'll know what I am dealing with and will make the decision that I have been dreading since I got her awful diagnosis. She's just so delicate rite now that I am afraid a trip to the vet may be too stressful for her. Not sure what to do. I guess I don't want to hear what I know is looming over us. Whatever happens tomorrow I know the end is coming very soon and we are all trying to come to grips. I was able to get her diarrhea under a little bit of control with oatmeal and a little canned pumpkin unsweetened of course.


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## SandyK

Thinking of you and Ella. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Glad her diarrhea is getting under control for you. This is a very tough time and I feel so much for you...good luck. Extra kisses for Ella!!


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## Sweet Girl

Sending you and Ella positive thoughts.


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## Karen519

*Jude*



jude said:


> Thanks everyone. I may postpone visit until Tuesday. I'll bring in her stool to check for worms tomorrow. Then if that's negative I'll know what I am dealing with and will make the decision that I have been dreading since I got her awful diagnosis. She's just so delicate rite now that I am afraid a trip to the vet may be too stressful for her. Not sure what to do. I guess I don't want to hear what I know is looming over us. Whatever happens tomorrow I know the end is coming very soon and we are all trying to come to grips. I was able to get her diarrhea under a little bit of control with oatmeal and a little canned pumpkin unsweetened of course.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Praying for Ella and you. Read what you wrote about her stomach gurgling and you can hear it-I really think the vet should see her.


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## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> Ella has now had diarrhea for three days. Trying rice and other binding foods but now has bloody stools. Fluid in the abdominal area. Can hear gurgling. Called vet. Have appointment on Monday morning.. Will keep u all updated. Keep your paws crossed.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


This is what I was referring to.


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## jude

Your right. Thank you. Not really thinking clearly.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom

Thoughts and prayers for you and Ella. Hugs.


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## *Laura*

Thinking of you and Ella.


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying for Ella and you.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing vibes and prayers for sweet Ella and her people. I hope that help is on the way so Ella could be with us little bit longer. Hugs and kisses to adorable Ella.


----------



## Lucky Penny

Ella and you are in my thoughts today.


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## CAROLINA MOM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ella. I know this is a very difficult time for you, I've been through it several times. I pray you will find the strength and courage to do what is best for Ella.


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## PrincessDi

Keeping you and sweet Ella in our thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Prayers for sweet Ella.


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## jealous1

Checking in on you and Ella. Prayers being sent for both of you.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Saying prayers for Ella and you.


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## jude

Saw the vet yesterday. They checked for parasites in her stool. I was sure they would be positive but they were negative. That leaves us with a hopeless feeling. Vet called but we missed his call. Hoping he calls back soon. She's been sleeping most of the day. She got up on her own to come inside this morning. Lay right back down and is sleeping again. She's amazing. Not a dog at all. When I take her to the vet I realize what an incredible being she is. So dignified . So intelligent. So beyond any other dog I've ever had the pleasure to have in my life. I've had many goldens before, but never a dog like Ella. After she goes I'm afraid I will never do this again. I would rather be lonely than go thru this again. 


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## Buddy's mom forever

jude said:


> ... She's amazing. Not a dog at all. When I take her to the vet I realize what an incredible being she is. So dignified . So intelligent. So beyond any other dog I've ever had the pleasure to have in my life. I've had many goldens before, but never a dog like Ella ...


I realized long time ago how special and incredible being sweet Ella girl is. Please give her one big but gentle hug from me. I read somewhere when it is getting closer and they sleep a lot, they are kind of floating between two worlds. I am praying for more time for Ella and her family.


----------



## PrincessDi

Keeping you and your sweet girl, Ella in our thoughts and prayers! Can tell how special that girl is. I know this is a hard time.


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## Yaichi's Mom

I know so well what you are going through....know that my heart and thoughts are with you and your very special girl Ella.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella and praying for her.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I am praying for you guys, I hope sweet Ella is doing better.


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## jude

She's amazing - my beauty. The vet finally called. Original ex is the same - lymphocytic leukemia. Diarrhea is gone because of sweet potato. Still sleeping most of the time but while she has an appetite we are just going to go day by day and not worry about when to put her down. Vet thinks as long as she is eating it means she is not in pain


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## Deb_Bayne

Enjoy your moments with her, take lots of pictures and videos. Someday you'll enjoy looking back on her senior years.


----------



## Laurie

I feel for you as we are in the same place with Reno. 

We just have to love and spoil them and cherish every moment we have left.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Yes, enjoy every moment with her and take lots of pictures.


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## PrincessDi

Very glad to read that Ella is still fighting! Those pictures will definitely be treasured for years to come.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Best wishes and prayers for many good days with Ella. I so wish I could give her one big "real" hug. Would you do it for me please? Thank you!


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## Jleway

I just read this whole tread for the first time and my face is soaked with tears for you and Ella. I'm so sorry! I'll pray for you tonight. I love all of Ella's pics. God Bless Ella and you as you both are going through so much. I hope Ella had a good day today and I hope she has a good one tomorrow. I second that notion... give her a big hug for me too! 


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## jude

Big hugs and kisses galore were given to our sweetest girl tonite from all of you. I told her who they were from and she gave a big sigh and a little wag. Thanks to all of you for being with us on this dreadful journey. It gives us great solice to know there are others who understand and we're not alone. When my time with Ella is over I hope I can be as helpful to someone else as you all have been to me. I'll try.


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## Claudia M

I am so sorry you and Ella go thru this. I know how it is hoping for and cherishing every drop of life left and time with our furry family members. 
Hugs, kisses and best wishes to Ella.


----------



## love never dies

this is a roller coaster now, get someone to take photos for all of you together, do something fun and play with her, talk to her, next to her, be happy together, they sense our feeling. Remember to have cans of pumkin at home, if she is not eating her regular food, try to spoil her with mcdonal and things like that... but dont over do... dont disturb or upset her stomach... Be strong and always with clear mind... if too confused, just chat here... one of us will support you

Hugs from Canada - Hang in there.


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## *Laura*

I'm thinking of you and sweet Ella. Please give her a big belly scratch for me


----------



## love never dies

I know you are now very afraid, afraid of losing her... or she is suffering...
There are so much things going on, up and down, frustrated, uncertain, fear, anger , decisions and decisions, right or wrong, what to do now...to deal all of this stuff.

She knows you love her, Ella knows the people around her love her. This is the most important. She gives so much and wants so little from us.

More prayers are coming.


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## PrincessDi

You are with Ella, where we were with Max just over a month ago. Love never Dies is so right. Do the little things that still give her pleasure. Take lots of pictures. Even if the pictures aren't of how you would like to remember your girl. Grief can have many cruels sides. As gut wrenching as it is to be without them, I look at the pictures and realize that my boy is now free of pain. He is now doing all of the things that he used to enjoy(running, playing frisbee and swimming) that his old, worn out body could no longer do. We took lots of pictures of our Golda, Di and Max-before we had to let them go. I always thought that we took lots of pictures, but looking back, there were never enough. All the pictures of their life both during good times and bad are truly PRICELESS treasure. Please know that you are both in our thoughts and prayers during this HARD journey.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending positive vibes and prayers for sweet Ella and her family. Praying for good day today.


----------



## GoldensGirl

jude said:


> ... She's amazing. Not a dog at all. When I take her to the vet I realize what an incredible being she is. So dignified . So intelligent. So beyond any other dog I've ever had the pleasure to have in my life. I've had many goldens before, but never a dog like Ella. After she goes I'm afraid I will never do this again. I would rather be lonely than go thru this again.


Just catching up. Seeing them through this stage is so very hard and Ella is so lucky that you are there for her. I think all of us go through the "never again" stage, but in the end our love for them usually leads us to get another dog because nothing else will fill the hole in our hearts. Each one we love and lose increases our capacity to love another and it would be shame to waste that. 

Give yourself time. Each day with Ella brings enough decisions and concerns, without anticipating the ones to come. One thing my dogs have taught me over the years (not that I'm a very good student on this) is to take each day as it comes, celebrating the good moments and letting the bad ones go. Love will give you the strength to do what is best for Ella.

Wishing Ella and you a lovely day together.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending hugs and prayers for beautiful Ella.


----------



## maggsd

I've been catching up on sweet Ella' s journey. Happy that you are having these very special lasting moments together. Be strong, enjoy each second of being close to her, it is a bonus, and will help you through this time which many of us know far to well.
Just enjoy that you can still be with her, and I'm sure Ella will help you know what is best x


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending my love and prayers for sweet Ella.


----------



## Allan's Girl

Prayers, hugs, and kisses for Ella.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying you have very special moments with Ella.


----------



## REDPIN04

my girl is suffering from normal old age issues and not at serious as your Ella. Two months ago I thought she wouldn't see her 12th birthday(august 13th). 

Since I decided to make her last days, her(our) best days and put her on a medication regiment she's almost turned into a different dog. 

Yours won't be that easy, it's really hard watching them age and suffer.

I got through my situation by changing my mindset of from looking at the inevitable to just enjoying the moment. 

Not every moment is an encouraging one but make sure every moment together is an enjoyable one.


----------



## Brinkleythegolden

Sending good thoughts out for Ella...


----------



## Pup

Praying for sweet Ella


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## jude

She's doing okay these past few days except her legs are weaker each day and getting thinner. She still has great appetite and that's my measure of whether she is in pain. Vet said when she is is pain she will stop eating. That was a helpful piece of information. At least something I can hold onto.


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## love never dies

Yes - if they eat, drink, pee and poo - in general: there is still time - general guideline only. "the stool - please not in dark reddish or black color"

Thanks for the good update. You are a good mom to Ella. Hugs.


----------



## SandyK

Glad to see your update on Ella. Continue to enjoy your time together!! Thoughts and prayers still coming your way.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending special prayers and lots of hugs for sweet Ella. I hope you had a good day.


----------



## jude

We're still all ok in our house. Ella is hanging in there and so are we. Whew!!


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Give kisses to Ella for me.


----------



## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> We're still all ok in our house. Ella is hanging in there and so are we. Whew!!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


So happy for you and Ella. Extra love to her today.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

It is as it is, but still good. Sending love and hugs to sweet Ella, healing vibes and prayers too.


----------



## *Laura*

Hugs to Ella. Glad you're doing okay. Thanks for the update


----------



## Jingers mom

I just read through all 33 pages about your girl Ella. She's a brave girl... My thoughts and prayers are with you both.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella and sending positive vibes and prayers.


----------



## jude

Well, just as we begin to feel that things are on an even keel and she is holding her own, she gets hit with another ugly stick. Now she seems to be having trouble swallowing. She has begun to cough and gag a little. Her lymph nodes had gotten smaller but are now quite enlarged suddenly. Hopefully this is a temporary setback. Still taking it day by day. My sweet and brave baby is still cheerful and playful. On my way to buy her a stuffed animal. I realized last night that although she is struggling, she still is a puppy at heart. 


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## Manna777

Hugs and love to you and Ella, such a brave girl. 

Enjoy all the time you have together dont count the days just the moments that make her so special to you, there is nothing like the love you feel for your golden.

You will both be in my thoughts and prayers


----------



## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> Well, just as we begin to feel that things are on an even keel and she is holding her own, she gets hit with another ugly stick. Now she seems to be having trouble swallowing. She has begun to cough and gag a little. Her lymph nodes had gotten smaller but are now quite enlarged suddenly. Hopefully this is a temporary setback. Still taking it day by day. *My sweet and brave baby is still cheerful and playful.* On my way to buy her a stuffed animal. I realized last night that although she is struggling, she still is a puppy at heart.


Bless her lovely heart. Hoping, too, that this is just a temporary setback. Sending positive thoughts to your dear girl.


----------



## dborgers

Ella is a special girl and you are a wonderful mom who's soldiered all throughout Ella's various physical ailments and emergencies and ensured she has every day of quality life possible. God bless you.


----------



## PrincessDi

Keeping you and sweet Ella in our thoughts for more time that is free of pain.


----------



## *Laura*

Thinking of you and Ella....give her a big hug for me


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

I'm keeping you and sweet Ella in my thoughts and prayers too.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing vibes and prayers for a special girl. Sweet Ella you are truly an amazing girl.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella, sending healing vibes and prayers.


----------



## Sweet Girl

Also just wondering how your dear Ella is doing.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> Well, just as we begin to feel that things are on an even keel and she is holding her own, she gets hit with another ugly stick. Now she seems to be having trouble swallowing. She has begun to cough and gag a little. Her lymph nodes had gotten smaller but are now quite enlarged suddenly. Hopefully this is a temporary setback. Still taking it day by day. My sweet and brave baby is still cheerful and playful. On my way to buy her a stuffed animal. I realized last night that although she is struggling, she still is a puppy at heart.
> 
> 
> 
> Hoping Ella won't have trouble swallowing. Please give her big kisses for me.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you guys, sending positive vibes and prayers for sweet Ella and her family.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you guys, sending hugs and prayers.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

PRAYING for Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Hugs and prayers for sweet Ella.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella!


----------



## murphy1

There comes a point to do what's right for your beloved pet and stop thinking of yourself. It angers me so when people hold on when all hope is gone. Put her to sleep and give her peace.
I know many of you won't like this post. I just put my best buddy to sleep at the age of 6 years 5 month. It broke my heart but it was best for him. I didn't have to think twice.


----------



## Manna777

*murphy1 you did what was right in your situation. We have not seen Ella and are trying to be supportive.

I will tell you all about Eric

Eric passed away on the 8th May 2012 at home 

6th of December 2012 I let Eric out in the garden and shut the back door, when I opened it again Eric had been sick and was eating it I remember telling him he was a rotten dog and closing the door to let him get on with it.

A short while later I could see him at the door - when I opened it he fell in and starting circling. We took him to the vet immediately a 5 minute car drive and he was unable to walk or move and his head was tilted, and eyes twitching.
The vet told us he had had a stroke and there was no hope as he was an old dog at 14.5 but it was up to us! The look in Erics eyes was one I will never forget I was panic and dont leave me we opted for treatment you could see the vet thought we were mad.
I rang the next morning no change, lunch time no change and 3 oclock, when the vet told us no change and we really needed to consider putting him down.
My husband and I decided to let him spend the last night at home as he had never spent a day apart.

We collected him and when he saw us he tried to move but couldnt. We were given tablet for 7 days days and told to call and bring him in when we were ready. 

We made him comfy on his bed but he was trying to drag and follow us so we moved him round in a blanket with bed pads under him, I spoon fed him porridge and fish fingers with his medication. I did this not because I couldnt let him go but because he was not ready to go.

After a lot of research on the internet and the eye movement I was thinking this was vestibular and not a stoke, to this day I still believe it as on the 3rd day hubby got his car keys on and the noise was similar to his choke lead Eric tried to stand to go for a walk

After 5 days he could stand and walk a little our hopes were that if he could get out and walk round the garden and eat and was happy we would live with him like this.

We called the vets and were asked to bring him in - they were shocked as he was stumbling with a tilted head and was peeing like a race horse. We carried him in and after getting a months worth of meds we came home and decided to let him stumble in the garden. He fell over constantly and for the first time in years started leg cocking.

Eric improved day on day and week on week and in that first week my work colleagues and the vet suggested ending it to be kind to him - boy am I so pleased we didnt.

We had the dogs dignity in our upmost, but the look in his eyes said please dont leave me.

Eric improved so much we had a very normal life with normal walks, he came away in the caravan and the 6 months we had we so special I would not swap them for the world.

We knew when it was time, you could see in his eyes he was ready. He lost the sparkle in the evening and we were going to take him to the vets the next day. He was with us in the morning, but when I came home at lunch he had gone in peace in the same sleeping position he was in when I went out.

I try not to judge as we are only seeing a snapshot.

Ella is special and I for one are sending thoughts and prayers for your all
*


----------



## Brinkleythegolden

Manna777: You put this so well. We all have to do what's right in our situation, and remember that when we are reading about other people's sick animals. It's not right for us to tell others what we think is proper for them. My Fozzie died at home, and I kept thinking I didn't do enough for him. He was going to the vet an average of 2 times a week when he was sick, and I was in constant contact with the vet. There were people telling me to do more testing, etc, but we did what we thought was best for our dog, and had the utmost faith in our vet and his judgement and care in our situation. We just have to keep positive thoughts for Ella and her family.


----------



## PrincessDi

murphy1 said:


> There comes a point to do what's right for your beloved pet and stop thinking of yourself. It angers me so when people hold on when all hope is gone. Put her to sleep and give her peace.
> I know many of you won't like this post. I just put my best buddy to sleep at the age of 6 years 5 month. It broke my heart but it was best for him. I didn't have to think twice.


Murphy1, You do not know everything about this situation. It is wrong of you to make such a judgemental post. This is a very serious decision to make and not a decision for an armchair quarterback. Most of us have had to make a very hard heartbreaking choice with our goldens. I just had to do this with my beloved Max July 26, 2012 and Di 5/21/2011 and Golda 04/7/2007. That does not give me the right to tell someone what to do, nor does it give you the right. I recall writing a similar post a few weeks ago to your post. This is heartbreaking enough, without making it worse. Out of love, we make the best decisions that we can. I know that Ella's family are listening to their heart. Please give them a break.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Ella's people deserve some respect. They love Ella and know what is the best for here. Sending love and prayers for sweet Ella and her family.
*"When the world says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time.’” *


----------



## jude

Look, I am on this forum like most other people, just looking for a little support and kindness. Gee, if it is taking too long for Ella to pass on, I am sorry to disappoint you. I am following my vets advice. As long as she is eating and drinking then is is in no pain. With help and a lot of attention she has good and happy days. Just because you are in pain over your loss don't spread it to me. I have enough to last a lifetime and don't need anymore from you. Thanks to all my friends on the forum who have been supportive.


Sent from my iPad using PG Free


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

We are with you jude, you are taking good care of Ella. We all have good days and bad days. She is so special to us. Sending many hugs and prayers. (I am waiting for my boy to be born this morning).


----------



## CarlosW9FE

Jude;
You have our support and prayers for your dear Ella. Don't let the callousness of one individual poster on this forum deter you from thinking otherwise. Our Goldens are our children and we do all we can for them. Our dogs have their own way of letting us know when they are ready to go and until then, we should spare no efforts to make them better at the time when they need us most. We all pray that Ella comes through.


----------



## PrincessDi

wd9t said:


> Jude;
> You have our support and prayers for your dear Ella. Don't let the callousness of one individual poster on this forum deter you from thinking otherwise. Our Goldens are our children and we do all we can for them. Our dogs have their own way of letting us know when they are ready to go and until then, we should spare no efforts to make them better at the time when they need us most. We all pray that Ella comes through.


Well said!!


----------



## *Laura*

Jude I think of you and Ella often. You are a caring, loving Mom and Ella is well loved. You know what is best for her and she is lucky to be your baby


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying for Ella and you.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Jude,

Only you can make the decision when it's time to let Ella go, you will know in your heart. Until that day comes, enjoy every moment you have with your special girl.


My thoughts and prayers are with you and sweet Ella.


----------



## Brinkleythegolden

Jude, I am glad you are not paying attention to that post. We all know we do what is right in our own situations. Sending healing thoughts to you and sweet Ella!


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----------



## Sweet Girl

You know you are doing the right thing for Ella, Jude. We know it, too.

Sending you continued positive thoughts and support.


----------



## Tennyson

Jude,
You keep following your heart. You're taking wonderful care of Ella and she loves you all the more for it.


----------



## jude

Thank you all. I mean it from the bottom of my heart


Sent from my iPad using PG Free


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending hugs and prayers for sweet Ella and her lovely family.


----------



## SandyK

Thinking of you and Ella.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Wish you have a wonderful weekend with sweet Ella. Sending hugs and prayers.


----------



## *Laura*

Thinking of you Ella


----------



## jude

Thanks everyone. We're having a quiet weekend. Weather is still nice enuf for my girl to enjoy lying in the grass and she is certainly taking advantage of it. We've been giving her full body massages twice a day. Seems to be helping something I think. She fell a couple of times today but it doesn't seem to bother her as much as it does us. Raised her insulin dosage because her breath started to smell like she was going into ketosis. That has helped. And so it goes. One day at a time.


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## jude

Buddy's mom - was your boy born? Looking forward to hearing some good news.


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----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thanks Jude, my boy was born on Tuesday. I really like your girl and I am so glad that you still have her around. I wish I could have my Buddy still with me. Ella is so special I am amazed with her spirit and love for life. Sending prayers and hugs to sweet Ella girl.


----------



## Manna777

So pleased you and Ella are doing fine. Love, hugs and thoughts heading your way Jude xox


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## jude

Bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. Hungry as a bear. She had chicken and broccoli and out the door to enjoy the day sleeping in the ferns or under the bush by the front door. That's my girl. 


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## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Please give Ella a big KISS AND HUG from me!


----------



## maggsd

Jude, not been on forum for while. So pleased your sweet Ella is enjoying your very special times together. I'll keep you both in my prayers x


----------



## PrincessDi

Very good to read that Ella had a good day today and enjoyed her day. There's no better way to go about this, than one day at a time. Keeping you both in our thoughts!


----------



## Sweet Girl

Just thinking of you, and sending positive thoughts of support. So happy to see that she had a good day today.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you and Ella and praying for good days. I am glad Ella enjoys beautiful fall's weather.


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying for Ella and you.


----------



## GoldenMum

Wishing you and Ella, many more sun drenched days together! Belly rubs to Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending healing vibes and prayers with lots of love to Ella.


----------



## jude

For the past two days she has been struggling again. This time it seems really bad. I can't tell what is going on. I can't tell if it is something neurological or if it is her vision or insulin related or if it is pain. She still has an appetite but it is ravenous. She wags her tail a lot but it seems different somehow, sort of frantic and disoriented. She doesn't want to be separated from us. This morning at 4 am she started scratching at the rug and trying to run around the room. We helped her outside and she wanted to lie outside in the damp rainy weather. I don't get it. Maybe it's vision. I'm going to have a coffee and try to figure something out. I fear our decision is being made for us finally. I hope this passes like everything else did but I fear the worst.


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## Mac'sdad

*Thinking of you all !!*



jude said:


> For the past two days she has been struggling again. This time it seems really bad. I can't tell what is going on. I can't tell if it is something neurological or if it is her vision or insulin related or if it is pain. She still has an appetite but it is ravenous. She wags her tail a lot but it seems different somehow, sort of frantic and disoriented. She doesn't want to be separated from us. This morning at 4 am she started scratching at the rug and trying to run around the room. We helped her outside and she wanted to lie outside in the damp rainy weather. I don't get it. Maybe it's vision. I'm going to have a coffee and try to figure something out. I fear our decision is being made for us finally. I hope this passes like everything else did but I fear the worst.
> 
> 
> Mac and I are thing of you !!!! Hope it is a small set back and will smooth over soon !!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending countless prayers and hugs. Hope it is just one of those not so good days. Lots of positive energy and love coming your way. Please sweet Ella feel better soon.
I am going to lit a candle for sweet Ella and her family.


----------



## Skipperella

Sending positive thoughts!


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*



mac'sdad said:


> jude said:
> 
> 
> 
> For the past two days she has been struggling again. This time it seems really bad. I can't tell what is going on. I can't tell if it is something neurological or if it is her vision or insulin related or if it is pain. She still has an appetite but it is ravenous. She wags her tail a lot but it seems different somehow, sort of frantic and disoriented. She doesn't want to be separated from us. This morning at 4 am she started scratching at the rug and trying to run around the room. We helped her outside and she wanted to lie outside in the damp rainy weather. I don't get it. Maybe it's vision. I'm going to have a coffee and try to figure something out. I fear our decision is being made for us finally. I hope this passes like everything else did but I fear the worst.
> 
> 
> Jude: Saying a prayer for Ella and you. I know HOW YOU FEEL.
Click to expand...


----------



## Sweet Girl

These days are so difficult. I, too, hope it passes. Sending you strength and courage. And love to Ella.


----------



## Brinkleythegolden

Prayers for you and Ella.


----------



## jude

Thanks. You guys are a real lifeline. Keeping our fingers and paws crossed.


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## PrincessDi

Praying it's a bad day also. On my way to light a candle for sweet Ella.


----------



## *Laura*

Jude: fingers and paws crossed in our house for you too. Thinking of your sweet Ella.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

I am thinking of you guys all day and praying. On my way to light a candle for sweet Ella and her people.


----------



## jude

She slept all day and all night. Maybe that's what she needs. I'll let u know how she looks in the morning.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Give sweet Ella a gentle hug from me. A good sleep always helps. She will be better tomorrow.


----------



## SandyK

Thoughts and prayers continue for Ella and you!!


----------



## jude

It's 4 am in the morning. Ella woke up same way as yesterday. Scratching the floor. Frantically pacing and strange head bobbing. Don't know if blood sugar is too high or too lw becaus missed collecting her urine this morning. Gav her a carrot and she walked around in circles until she lay down again. Going to give a little more carrot and see if she goes to sleep. Seems to be calming down. In the morning can't seem to see. Strange behaviors. Sleeping in odd places where she never slept before. Under the table, facing the wrong direction. 


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## Buddy's mom forever

C'mon Ella girl, please feel better, please. Sending healing vibes and prayers for good days to come back. Keeping sweet Ella and her people in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## *Laura*

We hope Ella is feeling better this morning. How is she doing?


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying for Ella. Could she have had a stroke?


----------



## Sweet Girl

Must be so painful for you to see. Poor love. I hope she is feeling better this morning.


----------



## PrincessDi

Praying that sweet Ella is feeling better and has a better day tomorrow.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella and you and praying.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella and praying.


----------



## jude

Tough nite tonite. Her bloods dropped suddenly. Thought she as going to go into seizure. Well, all is alright now with the help of a little honey on her gums. Whew. 


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----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sorry, good vibes and prayers are coming your way. I hope sweet Ella is feeling better.


----------



## Sweet Girl

She's lucky to have you helping her along and making sure she's okay.


----------



## jude

I'm trying. I finally found a great vet who I hope will come to the house. WeRe crossing our paws on this one. Will be a lot less stress on Ellie .


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----------



## Buddy's mom forever

My prayers are with you. Sweet Ella is so special I just wish with whole my heart for her to feel better.


----------



## *Laura*

I'm glad you found a vet to come to the house. It will make things easier for Ella. I hope she has a good day today


----------



## GoldensGirl

Please forgive me for not having the courage to read the whole thread before posting. It sounds like you and Ella are on an awful roller coaster ride and I ache for you, hoping today will be better and that the vet can help.

Some of what you described about Ella in the last few pages sounds like a type of seizures and I want to invite you to the seizure sub-forum (http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/golden-retrievers-seizures/), where there is a lot of collective wisdom about seizure disorders. 

Holding Ella and you in my thoughts and prayers,
Lucy


----------



## PrincessDi

Praying the vet can help Ella feel better. I know it will help her not having to leave her home. Keeping sweet Ella in our thoughts and prayers


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying you can find a vet to come to the house for Dear Ella!


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Checking in on Ella-praying for her!


----------



## jude

Thanks friends. We've been able to stabilize her blood levels for the moment so I think this crisis at least has passed. I'll keep you posted. 


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----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of and praying for sweet Ella and her people. Hope the days are better now.

We posted at the same time, so glad that crisis is over now. Wish you have a wonderful Sunday with your amazing Ella.


----------



## GoldensGirl

Glad to see good news this morning. I hope you and Ella have a happy Sunday together.


----------



## PrincessDi

Very glad to read! Praying you and sweet Ella have a good day!


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*



jude said:


> Thanks friends. We've been able to stabilize her blood levels for the moment so I think this crisis at least has passed. I'll keep you posted.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Please keep us posted-praying for Ella!


----------



## Lilliam

I read through this and all I can say is that I am astonished at how much fight you and Ella have in you. I had to walk away, so many feelings bubbling to the surface.
Coming back to wish you and Ella the best. Praying for strength for the whole family.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Ella is in my thoughts and prayers!!


----------



## Lucky Penny

Sending positive thoughts to you and Ella.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending good vibes with lots of love and prayers for sweet Ella. Hope all is well.


----------



## maggsd

So pleased Ella and you have come through yet another battle, prayers and thoughts for you both x


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Ella is in my thoughts and prayers!


----------



## CAROLINA MOM

Very glad to read this great update about Ella. I hope she continues to do well, will continue to keep you and your girl in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## *Laura*

Thinking of you and Ella and hoping she's doing well today


----------



## jude

Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.


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## *Laura*

That's the best news. That's great!!


----------



## PrincessDi

Very good news indeed! Hoping for many more blessings for sweet Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

jude said:


> Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.


Praying that all days are good as today and even better. Hugs to sweet Ella.


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying Ella is having another good day!


----------



## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Indeed! So happy to read this.


----------



## GoldenMum

So glad Ella is doing better, praying for more good days to cherish!


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella!


----------



## Bridgers Dad

jude said:


> Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.


I am glad you are able to enjoy the days with Ella. I hope you have many more.


----------



## love never dies

*Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other .*



jude said:


> Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


 

Good Report Jude    :wave:


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Keeping Ella and you in my prayers. Hope you are having a good day!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending prayers for a great day. Hugs to a special girl.


----------



## Lucky Penny

jude said:


> Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


 
This is the best way to live. To be with those you love, and to just enjoy the moment.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending prayers for sweet Ella and her people. I hope you have good days only.


----------



## jude

Oh I think it will be a good day today. I opened my eyes this morning and saw my beautiful girl staring at me. Then she realized there was no room to turn around so she actually backed up. What a girl. She stumbled a little but then got her self together and went outside. 


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----------



## Karen519

*Jude*



jude said:


> Oh I think it will be a good day today. I opened my eyes this morning and saw my beautiful girl staring at me. Then she realized there was no room to turn around so she actually backed up. What a girl. She stumbled a little but then got her self together and went outside.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Jude

So glad you WOKE up to your girl's beautiful face! Hope you two have a wonderful day together!!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

jude said:


> Oh I think it will be a good day today. I opened my eyes this morning and saw my beautiful girl staring at me. Then she realized there was no room to turn around so she actually backed up. What a girl. She stumbled a little but then got her self together and went outside.


You really made my day, thanks. I hope you have a great one too.


----------



## Sweet Girl

I hope it's even better than you thought it would be! So happy to hear she continues to do well.


----------



## *Laura*

Jude ... What a wonderful way to start the day


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you to have a beautiful day!!


----------



## SandyK

Very happy to see Ella is still doing well!!!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you guys this morning, sending hugs and prayers for sweet Ella.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you!!


----------



## jude

Ella's blood sugar dropped suddenly last night so I didn't give her any insulin. Then this morning I woke to find that she pee'd in her sleep for the first time In A long time.i checked her insulin level and it had shot back up to over a thousand. Poor thing. It's so hard to stabilize. 


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----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Hope it gets better thru the day, sending positive vibes and prayers for sweet girl.


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*



jude said:


> Ella's blood sugar dropped suddenly last night so I didn't give her any insulin. Then this morning I woke to find that she pee'd in her sleep for the first time In A long time.i checked her insulin level and it had shot back up to over a thousand. Poor thing. It's so hard to stabilize.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


Jude

You are doing everything you can for Ella. I keep praying for her.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Prayers for sweet Ella. A candle lit.


----------



## dborgers

jude said:


> Having good day today just enjoying the day and each other . What a blessing.


We'll keep you and Ella in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. You're a great mom.


----------



## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> Ella's blood sugar dropped suddenly last night so I didn't give her any insulin. Then this morning I woke to find that she pee'd in her sleep for the first time In A long time.i checked her insulin level and it had shot back up to over a thousand. Poor thing. It's so hard to stabilize.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPad using PG Free


So hard. I hope you were able to find the happy medium.


----------



## *Laura*

I hope Ella is feeling better today. We are all thinking of your sweet girl


----------



## Lucky Penny

I hope Ella sleeps well togging.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Keeping sweet Ella and her family in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Hoping Ella's insulin level got better. Praying for her!!


----------



## jude

Sill pretty eradic. I am thinking that her pancreas might be under attack. That might account for the unstable bloods. It's just a constant worry and monitoring effort. What's amazing to me is whatever is thrown at her she can somehow renavigate how she functions. I think she is so smart she figures out how to change her behavior to make it possible to function more easily. 


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----------



## Manna777

Hi Jude you having an amazing girl so glad you are doing ok xox

Hugs and love to you both xox


----------



## *Laura*

I agree....Ella is an amazing girl Hugs


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Jude

Praying for Ella and you!!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Prayers for such a special girl. Ella is so lucky to have you and you are so blessed to have her. Hugs.


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Hoping Ella is o.k.


----------



## Lucky Penny

How is Ella doing today?


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending positive vibes and prayers for sweet Ella and her family.


----------



## jude

She seems to be resting tonite. Her blood levels are still eradic. Today they were low all day so I didn't give her any insulin but it is getting harder nd harder to figure out how to keep her stable. She must feel awful with her sugar level spiking and dropping the way it is.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

I am so glad she is still with us, has been pretty sad on this forum lately. Sending countless prayers, belly rubs and hugs, many hugs for sweet Ella.


----------



## Lucky Penny

Buddy's mom forever said:


> I am so glad she is still with us, has been pretty sad on this forum lately. Sending countless prayers, belly rubs and hugs, many hugs for sweet Ella.


 
I 2nd this!


----------



## Sweet Girl

Buddy's mom forever said:


> I am so glad she is still with us,* has been pretty sad on this forum lately.* Sending countless prayers, belly rubs and hugs, many hugs for sweet Ella.


So sadly true. So it is indeed good to know Ella is hanging in there. Big hugs to you.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I hope sweet Ella has great weekend with her family. You guys are always in my prayers.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Love, hugs and prayers for sweet Ella.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you, sending prayers and hugs for sweet Ella and her family.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and her family!


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## SpellboundOne

Hello Jude, Ella and Members,

Your post made me cry! Moved me to register as well. I have been thinking about all of the posts but Jude I've been dealing with my dogs embarassment when he's peed himself. I'd like to share my thoughts for what they're worth. 
First of all, Ella is so very lucky she found a home with you! You're very protective of her and I'm absolutely certain she knows she isn't alone and that she can let you do her "share" for the pack in her absence. Perhaps she's not as confused about why she's doing these things as she is about why you, and her other pack members havn't rejected her for her weaknesses. Dogs are experts at masking pain and pushing their limits of endurance to prove their value to those they care about and are members of. Weak pack members arent valued pack members (they're usually dead pack members actually) in terms of survival of the pack so although she may be confused about whats happening to her - she's feeling comforted in her vuneralibility simply because you are still including her and interacting with her, feeding her, therefore letting her know that she does hold value, that she is still a pack member. If she makes any effort whatsoever to give you a kiss or wag her tail or even engage those trusting eyes in yours, perks her ears up to pay attention when you speak to her- PRAISE HER for it so she feels she's contributing. Even unintentional efforts bring joy. as we all know, these Clowns join right in all celebrations! although I'm new here I've been lurking for awhile and I'm experiencing many situations in common with you. Any effort on my Molson's part to engage with me- no matter how small or effortless on His part -has been & is rewarded with an outburst of praise. I swear this has rehabilitated him to feel better about himself which increases his happiness. Meanwhile, when your heart can't take much more - we're here to share your fear, saddness, anger, frustration, hope and hopelessness. We're all in the same boat.

I apologize for my long winded-ness (is that even a word? Haha). 

Thanks,
Terri


----------



## jude

Terri - now you made me cry. Not easy to do I must say. I think I've put up blocks in order to keep going. I sort of put all of my energy into her daily care. I cried because what you said rang true. I've seen it over and over with my sweet girl. She tries to engage every morning. She greets us with a wag. When we brush her and deflea her which is a daily vigil, she lies very still except for that little end of the tail kind of wag that let's you know how much she appreciates the help. The other morning she came over to my side of the bed. She must have tripped on some pillows that had fallen onto the floor so she fell and was lying next to me when I woke up. Ellie doesn't bark. She can and I have heard her issue a warning woof once when she thought danger was imminent, but otherwise she is silent. So she couldn't tell me that she was there. She couldnt tell me she needed me. I woke up and treated her normally. Didn't pay too much mind to her besides helping her up and coming out to the kitchen where we make our morning coffee, get her breakfast ready, check her insulin levels and help her outside to pee.but she was very clingy. And a little anxious. I didn't read the cues. I admit that I was preoccupied, getting ready for work and suddenly I realized that she was having a low glycemic attack. I brought our the honey and she could hardly let me get my finger in the jar, she gobbled it down, she knew that she needed it. She was desperate for it. I should have seen it, but I missed it. I felt so bad, so negligent somehow. I felt like I let her down, that she had faith in the fact that I would be the one in the pack who would understand her, that i wouldn't kick her out and I missed her cues. How that hurt my heart. We got passed that and are now sitting peacefully together in front of the wood stove just living in the moment and loving every minute together. Thank you for your lovely response to my blog about my best fur friend.


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## GoldensGirl

jude said:


> ...I should have seen it, but I missed it. I felt so bad, so negligent somehow. I felt like I let her down, that she had faith in the fact that I would be the one in the pack who would understand her, that i wouldn't kick her out and I missed her cues. How that hurt my heart. We got passed that and are now sitting peacefully together in front of the wood stove just living in the moment and loving every minute together...


Like everyone else who follows this thread, I know how very lucky Ellie is that she has you and you love her so dearly.

I have never had a diabetic pet, but I grew up with a diabetic father who was "brittle" at times. Please believe me that it is almost impossible to avoid occasional insulin reactions, even for a human who knows what to do and can speak to others about his needs. You are doing a great job for Ellie. She comes to you because she knows that you will care for her, though it may take you a few minutes to figure out what she needs. Please please please don't kick yourself for that. The last thing she wants is to be the source of your being unhappy with yourself.

The two of you deserve a lot more time sitting together in front of that wood stove. I hope and pray that you get it.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending love and prayers for sweet Ella.


----------



## PrincessDi

GoldensGirl said:


> Like everyone else who follows this thread, I know how very lucky Ellie is that she has you and you love her so dearly.
> 
> I have never had a diabetic pet, but I grew up with a diabetic father who was "brittle" at times. Please believe me that it is almost impossible to avoid occasional insulin reactions, even for a human who knows what to do and can speak to others about his needs. You are doing a great job for Ellie. She comes to you because she knows that you will care for her, though it may take you a few minutes to figure out what she needs. Please please please don't kick yourself for that. The last thing she wants is to be the source of your being unhappy with yourself.
> 
> The two of you deserve a lot more time sitting together in front of that wood stove. I hope and pray that you get it.


Couldn't have said anything better than Golden's Girl! Praying for much more time for you two! You are a wonderful mommy to Ella!


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Hoping you and Ella have a beautiful day!


----------



## Stephpylant

Prayers with you all


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## Sweet Girl

Sending positive thoughts to both Ella and Molson! The TWO of you made me cry.

Both your dogs are so lucky to have you. I hope you both have more good days than bad, and lots of them together.


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## caseypooh

Sending prayers for many more special days, please add me to the cry list as well. You are a wonderful mom, Ella knows this.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you and your girl, sending positive vibes and prayers. Hope you have a good day.


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## Lucky Penny

I just have this picture in my head of you and Ella cuddling up together in front of the wood stove. How peacefull that picture is. Hugs to you both.


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## jude

Big snow storm today. Lots of time to cuddle in front of the fire. Me and my girl! 


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## Buddy's mom forever

How lucky you are! There is no better time spend in the world than hugging with your girl. We used to come back from the walks in the cold winter time, and just lay down and cuddle to warm up. My daughter would be playing piano next to us. Those songs are still playing in my head, I will never forget that time, my favorite moments of the winter. 
Hugs to you and your sweet Ella.


----------



## SandyK

Thoughts and prayers continue for you and Ella. I hope you enjoy all of your cuddling time together.


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## jude

Ah. Buddy's mom...
Yeah sweet memories need to be treasured. I agree. Sometimes they are what keeps us going when those dark days come.


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## *Laura*

Jude.... enjoy your cuddle time with your sweet girl


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## PrincessDi

So glad that you two were able to spend the time cuddling! Definitely making treasued memories!


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## jude

Well vet came to the house today. I wanted to begin a relationship with someone who would e available to come to the house in an emergency and that Ella would feel comfortable with. He was kind and gentle. He spent 3hours with us and gave us lots of advice and ways to manage her blood sugars. I felt a little more reassured.


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## Buddy's mom forever

jude said:


> Well vet came to the house today. I wanted to begin a relationship with someone who would e available to come to the house in an emergency and that Ella would feel comfortable with. He was kind and gentle. He spent 3hours with us and gave us lots of advice and ways to manage her blood sugars. I felt a little more reassured.


My heart just stopped, reading your first sentence. Now I am crying happy tears when I see how much you love your sweet Ella and care for her. I've seen it so many times in your posts, God bless you and your sweet girl.
Sending hugs and prayers for many beautiful moments you have together.


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> Well vet came to the house today. I wanted to begin a relationship with someone who would e available to come to the house in an emergency and that Ella would feel comfortable with. He was kind and gentle. He spent 3hours with us and gave us lots of advice and ways to manage her blood sugars. I felt a little more reassured.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


I was so worried, too, when I first saw that a vet was to your house. I'm relieved it was simply to begin a relationship. I am absolutely floored to see he spent three hours with you and Ella! That is fabulous. What a wonderful, caring and attentive vet you have found. I'm so happy for both of you, and I hope his advice helps you to have an easier time with the blood sugars. 

Best to you and lovely Ella.


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## Lucky Penny

That is amazing that the vet spent three hours at your house. What a great vet, glad things went well.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Kisses and hugs to Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella, sending hugs and prayers.


----------



## jude

Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes. Tonite her legs seem a litte weaker. But as my mom used to say... It takes courage to grow old. I think that goes for our fur people too.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I pray sweet Ella had a better day today.


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## jude

Bad bad day. Ella can hardly walk. Back legs very weak falling frequently. Now we go one sad day at a time.


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## PrincessDi

I'm so sorry that your beloved Ella is declining. I understand how hard it is too watch your girl slip away. Holding you in our thoughts!


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## GoldenMum

Prayers and thoughts to you, and your sweet Ella. Wishing you a better day tomorrow.


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## njoyqd

Sending you & Ella wishes and prayers for peace.
Holding you close in my thoughts.
Dale


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

I hope it is just one sad day and many good days are coming. Sending hugs and prayers for sweet Ella.


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## Sweet Girl

Oh, I'm going to hope this is just one bad day, and that today will be better, and tomorrow better yet. Lots of love and positive thoughts for Ella.


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## *Laura*

Jude, thinking of you and Ella, I hope today is a good day


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## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes. Tonite her legs seem a litte weaker. But as my mom used to say... It takes courage to grow old. I think that goes for our fur people too.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


Praying that Ella had a much better day today!!


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## jude

Ella is sleeping on her mattress and I got my pillow and decided to lie next to her this morning before anyone else gets up. Her breathing is so shallow and her sleep is so deep it's scary. I can feel her ribs and bones in her hips even though she eats all the time. She's not in pain and is eating and digesting her food normally. I hope she just closes her eyes and goes to sleep when it is her time to go. 


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## *Laura*

sweet baby Ella. I'm so glad she has you to love her so much


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## CAROLINA MOM

Sweet Ella, my thoughts and prayers are with you both.


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## Sweet Girl

I am thinking of you both. What a truly lucky girl she is. She knows you adore her. I hope for a good day together. And many more good days, too.


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## Buddy's mom forever

jude said:


> Ella is sleeping on her mattress and I got my pillow and decided to lie next to her this morning before anyone else gets up. Her breathing is so shallow and her sleep is so deep it's scary. I can feel her ribs and bones in her hips even though she eats all the time. She's not in pain and is eating and digesting her food normally. I hope she just closes her eyes and goes to sleep when it is her time to go.


I used to do that with my Buddy, sometimes I had feeling that his spirit was actually floating between two worlds even thou his body was still alive. Just enjoy every single millisecond of it ... Oh gosh those memories, still have so many tears for my Buddy... Prayers and hugs to you and your sweet Ella.


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## MTCara

Hugs. The final journey is so hard for us left behind. She knows how much you love her though and her heart is glad to have you near.


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## PrincessDi

Keeping you and Ella in our thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. I know it is so hard.


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## jude

Thanks everyone. Your support and prayers help a lot. 


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## Buddy's mom forever

I was just "playing" piano for little Charlie and thinking of sweet Ella. Sending love and hugs to Ella and her people.


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## Lucky Penny

Thinking of sweet Ella.


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## jude

Still with us, still wagging in the morning.


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> Still with us, still wagging in the morning.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


Wonderful news. Here's to many more wagging mornings!  Kisses to Ella.


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## Brinkleythegolden

I'm so glad that the tail wagging continues..


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of sweet Ella this morning, sending love, hugs and prayers for one wonderful week.


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## njoyqd

Sending sweet hugs and kisses from Phoebe and me. 
Wish you could enjoy this beautiful sunny Carolina day.
Dale


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## *Laura*

Thinking of you and Ella. Nice to hear her tail is still wagging....happy girl


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## Steadfast

Each person has to make their own decision but I'll tell you my story...several years ago my heart dog Abbey was diagnosed with Cancer. I automatically wanted to throw everything possible at this disease because I just knew we would beat it together her and I and would not accept any other thought from anyone. I put that girl thru weeks of chemo, so many regular trips to the vet and countless other procedures in her last month of life on the real reason was my heart just could not let her go and I could not imagine my life without her in it and didn't even want to consider it.

In the end I looked at her one day laying in front of the fireplace and suddenly started to cry as I realized just how I was allowing her quality of life and dignity to be compromised because I refused to let her go. I made the decision right then and there to have my vet come over and together her and I she crossed the bridge.

I tell you this only because I live with the guilt of allowing her last few weeks of life to not be what I wanted them to be only because I was in to much pain to do the right thing two weeks before I did and it is not easy to live with.


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## jude

I appreciate what u said. I really do. I even had the vet come to the house somewhere hoping that he would help me make that decision, but it seemed to be hard for him too which was not helpful. He spent hours giving me tips on how to make her quality of life better and giving me vitamins for her. Even though I try to say to my husband, look honey I think this isn't fair. Her blood sugar plummets or skyrockets, she falls, she pees in her sleep, she can't see.. He says, look honey her sugar level is under control, she seems to be steadier on her feet, she didn't pee in her sleep, she can see me, she's not in pain, she is eating, she played with her stuffed animal albeit for 30 seconds, she came for a belly rub. She's not ready to go and he's not ready to let her go. I for one am not strong enuf to make the decision for everyone. I am not positive that this is the time yet. I am just not sure and it is tearing my heart right out of my chest. I cry every day and pray that I will either get the strength somewhere or that she will just close her eyes and pass naturally. 


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## Karen519

*Ella*

I am so very sorry for what you are going through with your Husband.
Praying for Ella and you.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Hugs and prayers for sweet Ella and her people.


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## PrincessDi

I know this is such a terribly sad time. Keeping your family and sweet Ella in our thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Sweet Girl

It is one of the hardest decisions we are ever called upon to make. Maybe THE hardest. I really do believe that they tell us when, if they can't go themselves. My childhood dog did. Really. He had cancer - had had surgery and was given 3-4 months. Nine months later, he was starting to ail again. And one day, I came home home, and suddenly, that day, I knew. I don't know what it was - I would not be able to put it into words. But you have a closeness, a bond. As long as you are wondering, it's likely not time. She'll tell you. And for the first time around it, you will feel a new clarity about the decision.

Until then - I wish and send you so much comfort and support. It's such a hard time.


----------



## *Laura*

Jude I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this. We went through it a year ago and it's just the hardest time. Enjoy every day with your sweet Ella


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## GoldensGirl

jude said:


> ... I even had the vet come to the house somewhere hoping that he would help me make that decision, but it seemed to be hard for him too which was not helpful. He spent hours giving me tips on how to make her quality of life better and giving me vitamins for her....


This is such a very hard place. When we made the decision to set my Charlie free, our vet argued with me a bit. It was, after all, right before a holiday weekend and he thought we could wait until the next week. I was very firm, insisting that if he didn't want to come to the house and help, I would have to find someone else. Then he accepted that I knew what had to happen and he worked things out to be with us. It can't have been easy for him, having cared for my boy for most of 8 years. But when he saw Charlie that last time, he realized that we were doing the right thing. He is such a gentle man, and I am glad that he was with us at the end for Charlie.

As others have said, you will know with great clarity when the time has come. At that point, love will give you strength and courage to fight as hard to set Ella free as you have fought to keep her with you. 

Holding Ella and you in my thoughts and prayers,
Lucy


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## HolDaisy

So sorry you are going through this. It really is the worst decision in the world to have to make  just horrible, and we went through it 11 months ago so know exactly how you must be feeling.

The only advice I can say is that you will know in your heart when it's time. When our golden Daisy was poorly she fought so very hard. Every couple of days we went back to the vets she wanted to prove that she was fighting and wanted to carry on. In the very last days though she lay at home and was giving up. We knew that the time would be very soon but didn't know how we'd know when. In the end Daisy let us know, just by the look in her eyes that she was tired and had enough and we made the heartbreaking decision to send her to the bridge. It's very strange, but somehow you just find the strength to get through because you know that what you're doing will be the best decision for your girl.

All of us that have lost understand your pain and what you must all be going through. I totally believe that Ella will decide for you when it's time, and in your heart you'll just know. Take care, sending our thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you, sending love and prayers for sweet Ella. Hope you have good days only.


----------



## njoyqd

jude said:


> Ella is sleeping on her mattress and I got my pillow and decided to lie next to her this morning before anyone else gets up. Her breathing is so shallow and her sleep is so deep it's scary. I can feel her ribs and bones in her hips even though she eats all the time. She's not in pain and is eating and digesting her food normally. I hope she just closes her eyes and goes to sleep when it is her time to go.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


My heart is breaking for you and Ella. Sending you both comfort and peace, Joy for the times you have had, and sweet spirits of the ones gone before her to prepare and welcome her.
All my best love,
Dale


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending love and good thoughts to sweet Ella and her people this morning. Hope you have a great time!


----------



## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for Ella and you. My heart goes out to you. My hubby and I always looked at our dogs quality of life, and that helped us make the decision to
set them free, because we loved them.


----------



## Sweet Girl

Just thinking about Ella - and hoping she is still doing well, holding her own with you.


----------



## murphy1

Please Please do what's right for Ella. She not living, she's existing. The urine will break down her skin and make matters far worse than they already seem to be. I had to put to sleep the best dog I've ever owned and didn't think twice about it because it was the right thing to do for him. Put Ella first!


----------



## Lucky Penny

Thoughts for sweet Ella.


----------



## SandyK

Thoughts and prayers for you and Ella as you continue this journey together!!


----------



## *Laura*

Thinking of you, your husband and Ella.


----------



## jude

Well murphy1 I guess you did what you felt you had to do and found that it was the right time for you nd you dog. I know that it was very brave and selfless of you. I commend you for doing what was best for your dog. I too will do what I have to do when I see that she is really struggling. Right now she is resting comfortably, wagging when she sees us, and eating and peeing on her own. I think we have a little more quality time together and I am taking every opportunity to get those precious moments. Am I selfish? Am I not as brave as you were? Probably. Do I love her? Absolutely. I have extended her life with me by taking wonderful care of her and she is not ready to go. Maybe she is holding on because o me. I do t know but if that is the case and she is able to do it without much discomfort. What is the great harm. Maybe I will regret keeping her with me a little to long, but if that is the case I am the one who will have to live with that decision. No one else. 


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----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Jude, nobody loves and cares for your Ella more than you do. And nobody knows her better than you do. She is not ready to leave as you are not ready to let her go. Sending hugs and prayers for sweet Ella and her people.


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## Brinkleythegolden

Jude, you are the only one that can decide what is right for Ella, and you are doing a wonderful job. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. When my Fozzie was sick, there were a few that told me that I wasn't doing enough, and those comments really hurt. You know what is best for your girl. I hope that you have many more days with her.


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## Sweet Girl

I know that you would never, ever do anything that wasn't the best thing for your Ella. Don't listen to the noise. Just keep loving and caring for your dear girl. And give her some extra kisses and hugs from me and Tee. :smooch:


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## *Laura*

Jude don't waste your energy on negative comments. Save all your strength for your girl.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Wishing Ella and her people Happy Holidays!


----------



## *Laura*

Jude - thinking of you and Ella and hoping you've had a good holiday with your girl


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Happy New Year to sweet Ella and her people!


----------



## Sweet Girl

I've been thinking of sweet Ella so much through the holidays. I hope you had some wonderful time together.


----------



## HolDaisy

Thinking of you and Ella. Only you know what is right for her and you are doing a brilliant job so far. Wishing you both a happy new year.


----------



## Karen519

*Jude*

Happy New Year to Ella and you.


----------



## PrincessDi

Hope you and Ella are doing well. You have both been in our thoughts!


----------



## jude

Thanks everyone. We are still ok. Good days and not o good ones. Tonight she seems to be struggling a little more than usual. I'm going to check her sugar level. It is probably a little too high. If I give her another 15 mg of inusuln by tomorrow she should feel a little better. Well see. Just taking it one day at a time. Every day is a little Harder than the next. A little more insulin, more pain killers but she s still eating like a race horse. 


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----------



## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> Thanks everyone. We are still ok. Good days and not o good ones. Tonight she seems to be struggling a little more than usual. I'm going to check her sugar level. It is probably a little too high. If I give her another 15 mg of inusuln by tomorrow she should feel a little better. Well see. Just taking it one day at a time. Every day is a little Harder than the next. A little more insulin, more pain killers but she s still eating like a race horse.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


Keeping Ella and you in my prayers!


----------



## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> Thanks everyone. We are still ok. Good days and not o good ones. Tonight she seems to be struggling a little more than usual. I'm going to check her sugar level. It is probably a little too high. If I give her another 15 mg of inusuln by tomorrow she should feel a little better. Well see. Just taking it one day at a time. Every day is a little Harder than the next. A little more insulin, more pain killers but she s still eating like a race horse.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


That overall sounds good! I'm so relieved. Eating like a racehorse - you can't argue with that! Hope you were able to adjust her sugar level. Hang in there - she knows you love her so much.


----------



## *Laura*

Thinking of you and Ella. Thanks for the update. Glad to hear that she's eating. Gentle hugs for Ella


----------



## Bridgers Dad

Jude: I have been following your post all along. I hope Ella is still with us and she is bringing you warm days and nights.


----------



## Brinkleythegolden

I'm so glad to hear that Ella is still fighting!


----------



## HolDaisy

Thinking of you and Ella!


----------



## Buddy's mom forever

Sending hugs and prayers for sweet Ella, to have good days only.


----------



## SpellboundOne

I just completed the message below and tho I tried my best to share how awesome a time I had, it disintegrates quickly. PLEASE THINK CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU READ IT. I MEAN YOU NO[/COLOR] HARM AND IT MAY HIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME. 


HEllo to all!
Molson and I had a great Christmas and I was so exhausted from it all I was glad it was over. I took down the decorations and Molson helped but taking his position sprawled out strategically under my feet but I managed to work around him like they insist we do. We usually head out for my aunts on Boxing Day but I spared him the long car ride this year and the kids came and stayed. He doesn't eat when I'm gone but I doubted hie'd stick to his ideals by refusing to eat if I made him a Duck, spinach, pumpkin and green beans in the crock! I was right, the duck won. I thought I'd wait till the morning to leave and make sure he ate. I'm so thankful I did because if I'd left earlier I'd have missed the Golden Retrievers Observed Holiday! For some strange reason I woke up about 2:45 and he was still snoring away beside me and i happened to notice out the window it was our first snowfall of the year! He wakes me up at 3:00 every morning by resting hos paw gently on my arm and holding it there while panting in my face. I gave up about 2 yrs ago resisting his 3am ritual but when I realized how awesome it was at that time of night - just us in the world I knew he was right. I have to admit though, i sure enjoy turning the tables on him when I wake up first. The best day in life w a retriever has got to be the first snow though don't you agree? So i woke up and stepped quietly over the big clown and managed to get my coat hat and boots on and i laid my arm on his upper arm but happy as he laid his head head back down pretending he was in no hurry but the rythmic thum thump thump of their tails give them away. I hammed it up and he knew something was up but sniffing my pockets and scanning the floor so sure I had treats. I opened the front door and went out first so i wouldnt miss the look on his face and he couldnt believe his eyes. He nearly knocked me over going down the stairs and if you think that the puppy he was, is gone.... You're going to see that pup is still there. You might get the old-man version now but you'll see it i promise. We had so much fun thought we stop every few steps, to rest. He was bouncing and hopping ahead of me and kept looking behind to make sure he wasnt getting too far ahead. If he could speak words he wouldn't have been able to finish one sentence. OMG its the one day each year he hopes you'll share w him so dont miss it. We made snow angels and i was getting cold and we gave in to our age and decided to go in but as i got behind him to guilde his wobbly rear end up the steps, he changed his mind and stepped up on the lawn and laid down not on his side and i was chattering away like usual when I noticed he was staring at me. He NEVER stares but i started to get concerned. I was sitting on the step 3 feet in front of hom and he wouldnt stop the stare. So I moved in close to make sure he was ok and he seemed fine. So I knew he had something important on his mind and it hit me so hard, i told him to stop thinking whatever it was and he got up and went in, had cheetos and went back to sleep. I got up in the morning and he was just fine so I thought it was ok if I left but it wasnt fine and i had conviced myself as usual I was over- reacting. 
My Kids called me after having spent the whole day, doing yard work while he enjoyed the snow and they all 3 came in and had dinner (he ate!) and then laid on his side and he was peeing and he didn't care and that's not like him. so he laid on the kitchen floor and he took a big breath, lifted his Head - looked at the kids he'd grown up with and laid his head back down and let out his breath and he was gone. 
But for him I'm so happy he lived feeling good it was like he was programmed like my cell phone, everything fine then the next second is up. 
My arms are so empty.

I thought I was better prepared but I wasn't quite ready yet. I dont know what to do to make it stop. I swear ive come close to calling 9-1-1 cuz i feel like i'm dying and maybe they can help me - maybe send a cute cop haha- but i know theres nothing can cure this. My brain is even playing horrible tricks on me, i just needed a little more time. I tried very hard to make this note positive and to share how fantastic our last hours were together, and they were! Probably the best day we ever had.
In the 16 years, 1 month and 2 days we had. 

If u look for the Golden's holiday each year you'll have gifts so valuable you have no idea. 

Thanks for listening. I've probably ruined your day. Better scoot back up to the top and warn u. I'm sad enough for all of us!

Thanks everyone. 

Terri


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## amy22

Oh my...I am so so very sorry for your loss. What a wonderful story, till the end. It was a great last day and I'm so sorry it was the last day. I have had to deal with the loss of my sweet golden, it is heartbreaking and my prayers and thoughts are with you.


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## Manna777

You have captured the thing that makes them special they are one of the family and not just a pet. So sorry for your loss but you have a fantastic last day which you will carry with you forever xox


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## murphy1

Molson will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. I lost my Shamus last April and still cry looking at his picture on the Mantle in the family room. Two weeks after his passing I contacted a breeder for my Murphy. One can never replace the other but Murphy helps me so much. Tears are running down my face now for your loss and mine.


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## GoldensGirl

SpellboundOne said:


> ...My arms are so empty.
> 
> I thought I was better prepared but I wasn't quite ready yet. I dont know what to do to make it stop. I swear ive come close to calling 9-1-1 cuz i feel like i'm dying and maybe they can help me - maybe send a cute cop haha- but i know theres nothing can cure this. My brain is even playing horrible tricks on me, i just needed a little more time. I tried very hard to make this note positive and to share how fantastic our last hours were together, and they were! Probably the best day we ever had....Thanks for listening. I've probably ruined your day. Better scoot back up to the top and warn u. I'm sad enough for all of us!
> 
> Thanks everyone.
> 
> Terri


Welcome to the Forum, Terri. This is a good place to be among people who truly understand the loss of a beloved fur-person. I encourage you to start a new thread about Molson in the Rainbow Bridge forum, where you can share stories and photos of him and find support as you work through your grief.

Peace be with you.

Lucy


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## Karen519

*Terri*

Terri

Welcome to the forum-I am so very sorry about Molson.
We all know the pain-it will get better.
I'm sure that my Smooch and Snobear have greeted Molson at the Rainbow Bridge!


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## Buddy's mom forever

Oh Terri (SpellboundOne) I am so sorry for your loss of Molson. I lost my Buddy 20 months ago and still your post hits too close to home. But I do not mind crying, it is far better crying with someone than crying alone. What a blessing to spend together 16 years, 1 month and 2 days. Even his leaving was royal, like a beautiful snowflakes melted on the sun. Hugs.


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## *Laura*

Jude - thinking of you and Ella


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## Dwyllis

I have been following this thread from the beginning & wondering what is happening with Ella. Has anyone heard anything? Terri, I am so sorry for your loss. Molson had the most wonderful last day on this earth, surrounded by people he loved & who he knew loved him. I'm crying for you & I'm crying for Ella & for everyone who has gone through this pain. I've been through it with much loved cats & still cry at times over the loss of my beloved Burmese girl who died at thirteen years old four years ago. We never forget them, do we? They remain so much a part of our lives & we continue to grieve for them, even whilst accepting they are gone.


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## jude

I am so so sorry. I haven't been online for a while so I just read your post. My heart just aches for you. I can only imagine your pain and sorrow. As much as I dread that happening to my Ella, I would also welcome not having to make the decision that is inevitable. Although she is resting comfortably she sleeps pretty much all the time. When she has a bad day it is a really really bad day. We still treasure every good day we have with her. 


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## Buddy's mom forever

I am glad sweet Ella is still with you. Sending hugs and prayers.


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## Sweet Girl

jude said:


> I am so so sorry. I haven't been online for a while so I just read your post. My heart just aches for you. I can only imagine your pain and sorrow. *As much as I dread that happening to my Ella, I would also welcome not having to make the decision that is inevitable*. Although she is resting comfortably she sleeps pretty much all the time. When she has a bad day it is a really really bad day. We still treasure every good day we have with her.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


I can understand that feeling. 

As long as she is having good days and is eating and wagging her tail and getting pleasure from being with you, she is treasuring every day with you, too.


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## Buddy's mom forever

These nights my daughter is playing piano very often. I have then just two things on my mind, your Ella and my Buddy. I hope they do not meet any time soon. Hugs.


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## jude

Just an update. Ellie is still with us, wagging and eating like a racehorse. 


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## Brinkleythegolden

I'm so glad that Ella is still with you!


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## Sheldon's Mom

What a remarkable recovery.

I am so happy for both of you.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

I am so very happy that Ella is doing so well!!


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## Dwyllis

Amazing what love can do. So glad Ella is still sharing your life. What a wonderful & courageous team the two of you make.


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## HolDaisy

Great news!


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## mmacleod75

Wonderful news


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## Lucky Penny

Great news!!!!!!


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## AtticusJordie

Cool! We're a little behind on the history of this--but cherish every day you have with Ella. Hope it continues!

Give her a little neck scratch for us, too--ok?

SJ


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## SandyK

Great news!!!


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## Sweet Girl

This makes me so happy - for both of you. Give her big hug and kiss for me.


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## Dwyllis

How is Ella doing now? Been following this thread right the way through, & like to pop back every few days to see how she is going. Thinking of you both.


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## jude

Thanks for asking. She is still with us but we are trying to prepare ourselves. Amazingly she is still eating and drinking and able to go to the bathroom with some help steadying herself outside, but she is now essentially deaf and almost blind. I am afraid she has come to the end of her beautiful life and now it is just a matter of when. So we are struggling with that right now. Thanks again. I will keep you posted. I think she won't live another month, but we'll see.


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## ladyofherbs

My sweet rottie Xena went blind and had nasal cancer. When her quality of life declined to that point, we kissed her and told her how much we loved her. We thanked her for allowing us to share her life...and then we went to the vet's for her last visit. I am so sorry you are going through this dilemma.


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## murphy1

When the quality of life is gone it is time to do what is right for your friend.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you and praying. Hug your Ella for me!


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## PrincessDi

Keeping you and sweet Ella in our thoughts and prayers.


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## Sweet Girl

I am constantly thinking of you and Ella. Extra kisses to her. You will make the right decision at the right time. I know you will. Ella will help.


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## Lucky Penny

My thoughts go out to you and Ella. May you both enjoy every minute together to its fullest.


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## *Laura*

I'm always thinking of you and sweet Ella. Enjoy every day with your precious girl.


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## jude

Thank you everyone. Yes she can't see and is extremely hard of hearing, but her sense of smell is great and so is her appetite. She eats constantly so we feed her as much as she wants. She burns it up immediately, but is happy when she eats. She is motivated to stand up and watch us cook in the kitchen. She wags her tail when we put her dinner in her bowl. So who's to say when it is the right time. Every time I think it is over she rallies a bit. Plays with a toy, asks for a belly rub, wags a tail. Every day I think it may be her last and then she seems to ask for one more so we say yes, old friend, yes.


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## Karen519

*Ella*



jude said:


> Thank you everyone. Yes she can't see and is extremely hard of hearing, but her sense of smell is great and so is her appetite. She eats constantly so we feed her as much as she wants. She burns it up immediately, but is happy when she eats. She is motivated to stand up and watch us cook in the kitchen. She wags her tail when we put her dinner in her bowl. So who's to say when it is the right time. Every time I think it is over she rallies a bit. Plays with a toy, asks for a belly rub, wags a tail. Every day I think it may be her last and then she seems to ask for one more so we say yes, old friend, yes.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


God Bless you and Ella!!


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## SandyK

What a wonderful update!! Keep enjoying every minute together!!


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## Buddy's mom forever

You are given chance for more days, I am glad you do not waste them. Hugs to sweet Ella. God bless.


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## Brinkleythegolden

Jude, I am so happy that Ella is still with you! 


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you, sending hugs and prayers for sweet Ella.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you and praying for sweet Ella.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you very often, hope you still have sweet Ella with you.


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## Brinkleythegolden

Yes, I echo buddysmom's sentiment. I hope she is still with you too...


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## njoyqd

Thinking of you & sweet Ella. 
Sending thoughts and prayers.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


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## Buddy's mom forever

Sending positive vibes to sweet Ella and her people. Hope all is well.


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## HolDaisy

Also checking in and hope that everything is okay.


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## Jingers mom

Thinking of you and Ella often. Prayers heading your way.


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## Lucky Penny

Thinking of you and Ella as well.


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## *Laura*

Hoping Ella is doing well. Thinking of you and sweet Ella


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## Brinkleythegolden

Thinking of you and Ella..


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for you and Ella.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Thinking of you, hope all is well.


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## Bridgers Dad

I hope Ella is still enjoying time with you.


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## jude

My heart is breaking but today is the day sweet Ella gets to cross the bridge. I don't know how to get thru this but at least she will find some peace. 


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## Brinkleythegolden

Awwww, I am so sorry that Ella is going to the Bridge! Godspeed, sweet girl!


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## gmammad

I am so sorry, they leave paw prints on our hearts for sure. She will be at peace now, running free.


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## Buddy's mom forever

I am very sorry to read that. Will be thinking of you today and keep you in my prayers. Sending many hugs to sweet Ella and her people. May she go in peace.


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## GoldenMum

You are giving her the greatest gift of all, peace. You are putting her before your desire to have her in your life. A very, very difficult this to do. My heart hurts for you, sending you strength. RIP sweet girl.


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## *Laura*

Jude I will be thinking about you all day - I'm so sorry Ella is leaving you today. Safe journey dear sweet girl. All our pups are waiting to welcome you at the Bridge


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## amy22

I am so very sorry......


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## nolefan

GoldenMum said:


> You are giving her the greatest gift of all, peace. You are putting her before your desire to have her in your life. A very, very difficult this to do. My heart hurts for you, sending you strength. RIP sweet girl.


I couldn't say this any better. The memory of this day will move you to tears for the rest of your life, but I hope as time passes you will see that it is truly a testament to your love for her to let her go. Wishing you strength and peace of mind that this is the correct path.


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## caroline162

I am new here and just read this whole thread through for the first - how amazing, the time you were able to have with her, and what a wonderful compassionate caretaker you have been for your sweet girl! She is lucky to have you. Will be thinking of you today, and sending prayers of comfort for all of you.


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## Karen519

*Ella*

Praying for sweet Ella as she crosses the Bridge. 
You are letting her go because you love her.
My thoughts and prayers are with you!

We all know how hard this is-just keep thinking that Ella will no longer be in pain and will be at peace.


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## Bridgers Dad

Jude: I am so proud of you and the care you gave to Ella. You gave her many extra and precious days in her life. I am sorry for your loss, and hopefully you will find it in your heart to give another dog the love and compassion you were able to give to Ella.


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## jude

Thank you everyone for being so kind and supportive. There is such a deep loneliness and yearning to see and feel her that sometimes it is just intolerable. There is also a little guilt that maybe her diabetes wasn't monitored closely enough, that we made the decision too quickly, that she wasn't ready to go. And other times I feel we did just the right thing for her at just the right time. 


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## Karen519

*Jude*



jude said:


> Thank you everyone for being so kind and supportive. There is such a deep loneliness and yearning to see and feel her that sometimes it is just intolerable. There is also a little guilt that maybe her diabetes wasn't monitored closely enough, that we made the decision too quickly, that she wasn't ready to go. And other times I feel we did just the right thing for her at just the right time.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Jude: I feel strongly that you did the very best for Ella in every way! I know she would thank you if she could. I know the loneliness and yearning to see her you talk about! Perhaps, volunteering for awhile at your local shelter or rescue to walk dogs, would help you.


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## HolDaisy

Thinking of you as I know how difficult it is to make the decision to let them go, it really is the worst decision to have to make  You did everything that you could for Ella and in the end you gave her the final gift of love by freeing her from pain. She will live on in your heart and memories forever.


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## Sweet Girl

I know this is such a hard time right now. My heart goes out to you.


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