# Is rehoming the best for our 10 month golden?



## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision. 
i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw. 
He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not. 
But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
I’ve been trying to be consistent on getting Brixley (dog) ready for a baby. (Im due in March) however my husband and I are unable to see eye to eye on training brixley.
I am more stern and my husband is more lenient.
Brixley can also be very mouthy and tries to bite playfully (this is how puppies play with each other) which I am not comfortable with, knowing that we are going to have a newborn in the house soon. I’ve been working on him to stop being so mouthy. He does well with me and behaves with me. 
But it’s a different story when it comes to my husband and his parents. His parents allowing him to mouthy, their excuse is that he is still a puppy.Another thing about Brixley is that when he is around people he loses interests on obeying our commands.
We also do not have a fenced backyard. I thought maybe we could make him into a outside dog however I worry that he might escape or get lonely. I feel bad because he is no longer the center of attention and honestly will continue to not be. We have found a home for him and I’m still in between. I don’t know what to do because I picked him out from his litter, I have raised him the best I can. But like I said my husband and I are unable to figure out the best way or agree on how to prepare him for a baby.
He is very hyperactive and needy, which I know we will not have time for when we do have baby. 
Any advice?Is rehoming the best idea?


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

Yes - you have other priorities now and you seem to know this is not fair to Brixley. You could train and prepare Brixley but it will be a lot of work on your part starting yesterday truthfully. You and your husband should both be on the same page and fully invested.
I think your honesty is quite remarkable and I wish you the best making this difficult decision.


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

If you’ve even considered making him an outside dog, then yes, rehoming is best IMHO. 

It’s a sad life for a dog to be relegated outdoors because his owners don’t have time or enthusiasm for him. Most outdoor dogs develop bad habits like barking and digging. In your dog’s case, he’s likely to become even more excitable and hyperactive with people if he’s forced to live outside, and it will be harder to rehome him when it inevitably becomes necessary later. Much better to let him live with a family who actually wants him, now, while he’s still adoptable.


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## Prism Goldens (May 27, 2011)

Some things you say make me suspect he was not under contract- and that his breeder would likely not be interested in his being returned to her, but I do think you owe that to her, the option of his returning to the home he started in. And if you did sign a contract that is likely to be a condition you agreed to. You don't have a fenced yard, so making him an 'outdoor dog' isn't an option. If this person you've found is a friend, I doubt this will improve your relationship with them, there will always be a feel he is your dog... so again the breeder would be a better choice. 
Golden puppies (and your inlaws are right- he IS a puppy) are puppies for two years. Your scenario is why I do not like to sell puppies to young marrieds... you'd have to be on same page w husband and family NOW (or yesterday, as was said earlier) to get him ready for your baby's appearance. Since that's not likely, rehoming him is HIS best solution. Though I have to say, I wonder- if he were a human baby and another were expected, would you 5 months ahead start taking attention from him in anticipation of his losing it in March? If anything, should you keep him, MORE attention now is needed. Lots of training, lots of praise and bonding, lots of partnership with him so he can more easily give that up when there is a new baby in the house.


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## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

No, there was no contract involved. We hardly ever got to meet the breeder until it was time to pick him up. I also do not appreciate you comparing a dog to a child.
And let me clarify, I didn’t make it clear in my forum that he would not be a full time outdoor dog. He would be still be a indoor dog as well. He would be put outside for moments for us to be alone and bond with baby.


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## Prism Goldens (May 27, 2011)

" I also do not appreciate you comparing a dog to a child."

So? I don't appreciate people not thinking thru scenarios but we don't have to split hairs here. Clearly he is better off in a home where he can be a family member. edit:
I'm just pointing out that we do not have to agree on human vs canine. I CAN appreciate your considering end result (no fence = no escape, just wandering off to possibly be stolen, hit by car, etc) and while you were not the best home for him it's clear also that breeder didn't really care just wanted to sell her puppies.


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

Dodgerqueen said:


> No, there was no contract involved. We hardly ever got to meet the breeder until it was time to pick him up. I also do not appreciate you comparing a dog to a child.
> And let me clarify, I didn’t make it clear in my forum that he would not be a full time outdoor dog. He would be still be a indoor dog as well. He would be put outside for moments for us to be alone and bond with baby.


My thoughts, it is your pup and has been since the breeder sold it to you. I will never buy a pup under a "contract" if that means the breeder can dictate what I do with the pup. If a breeder doesn't trust me that's fine, I will get a pup from someone else. 
Apparently attitudes are a little different among breeders in the field trial world. They want pups to go to good homes. "Good homes" for well bred field retrievers means people that compete or hunt, ideally both.

Leaving a pup in an outdoor kennel during the day of even at night is fine as long as there is adequate training, exercise and play. People appalled at the thought of a dog in an outdoor kennel are often the same people that keep a dog in an apartment, stuff it with treats pretending they are training and never let it off leash outdoors.

If you have a 3 or 4 hours a week of quality time to spend with your pup, could be 15 or 30 minutes at a time, and a few more hours for him to just hang out with the family he will be fine and better of than most dogs.
If you think you can't do that and have found a better home for him, that is fine too.


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## DblTrblGolden2 (Aug 22, 2018)

I do not think people that are planning on starting a family should buy a puppy without making a 2 year (minimum) commitment to not becoming pregnant during that time. A Golden is a commitment that you already made. That being said, you could rehome him. You could also double down on training and have yourself, and your husband both attend separate training classes several times a week with your dog. You could by March have a well mannered 14 month old. He should not be still mouthing people, that is a training issue. He will be playful and high energy for at least the next 4 years. Is he crate trained? For bonding time with the baby he could be crated. You can also put the baby in a stroller and take him out for walks. I know that becoming a first time parent seems overwhelming, but many families manage a young dog and a new baby. It's a question of level of commitment to the dog. If you don't want to make that commitment rehome him now. Contact a good, reputable Golden Retriever Rescue and surrender him to them with all of his records. I don't recommend giving him to a friend. He needs some training and a rescue would help with that and the transition, not to mention vetting the new owner.

On the flip side I brought my second son home from the hospital to find out my parents had bought my 4 year old son an Irish Setter puppy while I was in the hospital. It was tough! I wanted to kill them. I had a newborn, a 4 year old, an older Golden Retriever and a brand new puppy. My parents had no idea what they had done. It took commitment from my husband and I to make it work. It wasn't easy, but we did it. My son loved that dog. It was his best friend growing up, by his side for every adventure he dreamt up from daylight until dark. That dog was the first one to ride in his truck with him on his 16th Birthday. The dog lived to be 16 years old and many of our family stories revolve around his poor behavior and the trouble he got in. He is woven into the fabric that is our family. 

I've never tried to take attention away from anything but myself in preparation for a new life event. I'm one of those people that makes themselves come last. If you don't want to do this surrender him now, but do it responsibly. I agree with @SRW that dogs can live outdoors, but they still require daily exercise, training, and care. To me it takes more effort on your behalf to raise a well mannered outdoor or kennel dog. I can't keep my dogs in a kennel, and that is just my personality.


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## diane0905 (Aug 20, 2010)

Has he been to any formal classes?

It sounds like you need to responsibly re-home him with someone who understands a Golden Retriever bought as a pet should never be an outside dog (why get one in the first place?) and who understands a dog is a family member. If you're going to work your dog -- i.e., hunt with it regularly -- have a farm -- or what have you (doesn't sound like your situation), I can see more outdoor on its own time.

A Golden Retriever can have and often does have puppy/adolescent like traits until they are two -- some even beyond. You can train him not to mouth you. You don't have to be mean, but not all corrections are "mean" -- some people are more sensitive than others as to what constitutes mean. Mine don't mouth me because I teach them early on they aren't going to mouth me. As small puppies, I redirect, and tell them no.

I have three grandchildren (4, 6, and 8) and I taught my Golden (and the children) from the beginning how to act around children/dogs. He's great with them. He's almost two now.

You sound like you see your dog as a problem. I think there's a thread here -- or was -- titled something like "It's not a problem, it's a puppy." I don't mean to sound critical, but you should do what is best for your dog. If you don't want him now, you're not going to want him more once you have a baby.

Also, I consider my dogs family members. They literally are part of my family if I take responsibility to raise them -- just like my children. They are vulnerable if we do not take care of them -- i.e., feed them, give them water, train them (lots of time and effort required!), and show them love. They deserve to live the best lives we can offer them. It's a huge responsibility.


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## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

thank you. That is what I have been thinking. I still give him quality time to be outside. We go for hour walks everyday. I got him so he can run with me. I run lots of race and thought he could be my companion on those runs 
I didn’t expect to get pregnant this soon. We weren’t planning until next year.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Dodgerqueen said:


> . I got him so he can run with me. I run lots of race and thought he could be my companion on those runs


But really, that's not going to happen for the next year or two, right? You will be very pregnant soon and then taking care of a new born and then a baby. And a Golden as a running companion is not a great idea - he at the very least should not be doing forced running until he is at least two years old and fully grown and developed, but running on pavement with a human is not really great for a Golden's joints. Plus, they need to be able to stop when they need to, not just when you do. 

I feel for you. I cannot imagine having a young dog and a newborn. People do it. I don't think I could because I know the human baby would always take priority and I would hate to not be able to give 110% to my puppy/dog, too. I would not want to see him being relegated to a tie-out in the yard (I know you didn't say that, but with no yard, it could happen). I do think finding someone who could take good care of him and train him as he needs right now would be the best option. But make sure it is someone who will treat him well and give him the life he deserves. Is there a Golden Retriever rescue near you? They could probably help.


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## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

@Sweet Girl 
Thank you for your replying and understanding. This has been a very tough mentally to figure what is best for Brixley. So my older sister offered us a fenced pin for him to be able to go outside when needed. I have been trying my best to be solution focused. All I want is the best for Brixley and give him the opportunity to be the best dog he can me for us or for his new owners.
The person we are considering is not a friend. This person is looking for a golden who is under a year old to be trained to become a service dog for one of their children. Even if the dog is unable to become a service dog they would still keep him and have him apart of their family. They also have two additional dogs, that Brixley will have to play with. I believe what he needs would be a playmate and we also can’t afford to get another dog.


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

SRW said:


> (...)
> People appalled at the thought of a dog in an outdoor kennel are often the same people that keep a dog in an apartment, stuff it with treats pretending they are training and never let it off leash outdoors.


This seems to be directed at me, since I'm the only one, before your post, who reacted negatively to the OP's idea of making the dog into an outside dog. So let's address it again.

First: To be clear, I specifically said it was sad for a dog to be relegated outdoors because his owners don't have the time or enthusiasm for him. And I stand by that. There is a big difference between the OP's situation and the situation of a working dog that is kept outside. I know plenty of people who keep working dogs in outdoor kennels, including my brother, who has working border collies for his sheep. Those dogs have rich lives, doing the jobs for which they were bred, several hours each day, and they get plenty of exercise, training and attention. Unlike (for example) the Labrador owned by our neighbours, which is tied up outside their house and spends the day barking and lunging at passers-by because its owners haven't trained it to be a pleasant family companion and can't cope with its behaviour indoors any more. The OP's post suggested that her situation is much closer to the latter scenario than to the former one. Hence my comment. She's clearly in a difficult position that is about to get much more difficult with the arrival of a baby, and putting the dog outside, whether for all or part of the time, is unlikely to make things easier. The tough choice to rehome the dog might just be the best one in these circumstances - best for the dog, and best for the humans. I sympathize greatly with the OP. It's a hard place to be.

Second, let's dispel the myth in SRW's post that I and people like me, who don't think dogs purchased as family pets should be kept outside, are poorly-informed idiots who don't know what they're doing. My current golden retriever is an intact male, 5 years old, 23 inches tall, 58 lbs. He was purchased from an excellent breeder and is from an outstanding working pedigree. He's as fit as they come. He gets several kilometres of off-leash walks most days, along with training sessions several times a week, fitness work at home, and competitions at least once a month. He's well-trained, lives in the house, sleeps in my room and comes with us on family outings. He's also the reigning Canadian national and Quebec provincial agility champion in his class. Agility championships are competitive affairs with six different events over two days. To win, a dog has to run faster and cleaner than the other dogs in its class, in all six events, and must also be able to execute those skills at a distance from the handler. Training an agility dog to win a championship requires hundreds if not thousands of hours of work and dedication. It's a lifestyle choice. And this is the second dog I've trained to this level. Yes, I use treats. Because that is the system that works best for my dog. I don't expect my method to work for everyone, nor do I think it's best for everyone. But I'm secure enough in my training choices not to have to make snide remarks about what other people do in order to feel vindicated.

And last, to be clear again: I have tremendous respect for what you (SRW) have achieved with your dog and appreciate the incredible amount of work it takes not only to train the dog but also to become the handler you need to be in order to get to that level. But I don't appreciate comments that are designed to make me look like an idiot.


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## ArkansasGold (Dec 7, 2017)

I think re-homing him is the best option.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I think you are on the right track - please rehome.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Unfortunately, a dog that spends a lot of time outdoors in a kennel or run is going to get dirty and be a pain to clean up sufficiently to come indoors and join the family, will not be getting the time needed to learn to be calm in the house. (I have raised 3 kids and several large sporting breeds including Goldens and while I LOVE big dogs, the truth is, the dirt can be hard to stay on top of. ) I agree with rehoming. A human infant will always take priority over a puppy and it's just hard for the dog to get a good outcome when that is the case.


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## Ontariodogsitter (Feb 23, 2020)

You may want to consider handing him over to a "Golden retriever rescue " organization, they would be in a good position to find him an appropriate "forever home" and you would be spared the emotional involvement of trying to find something sort of better then your situation.
Dogs that get caught in hand over to somebody... somebody else thinks may be looking for a dog, end up in a very unsettled situations, that lead to behaviors issues.
Hope you are able to make the right decision for the dog and for your family.


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## aesthetic (Apr 23, 2015)

I agree, rehoming sounds like the best option.

If you truly wanted to keep him, I think it would require a lot of work now and getting everyone in this dog’s life on the same page as far as 1) training techniques 2) which behaviors you want him to learn and 3) how the behaviors look. You could spend all the time and money in the world getting Brixley into training classes and working with him, but it’d all go out the window if everyone else in his life won’t enforce the same rules.

I also think that if you keep him, he deserves to get some of your time even after you have the baby. He will still need interaction and exercise and stimulation, even if he is trained. It’s not at all fair to him to just disregard his needs because you have a baby. I am not saying dogs are more important than children, I’m saying that dogs are living, breathing creatures that become YOUR responsibility once you bring them home. If you can no longer meet his needs because you have something else going on, that is your prerogative but your dog deserves to have a fulfilling life regardless.

I think if you’re already considering rehoming, a part of you knows that is the right decision to make.


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

ceegee said:


> This seems to be directed at me


It wasn't


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

SRW said:


> It wasn't


Good.


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## JulieCAinMA (Jun 19, 2020)

I want to start by saying that sharing your post on a GR forum about the quandary you're in, tells me that you DO care about your dog. My Archie is 9-months old (today, actually) and my husband and I have been ACTIVELY training him EVERYDAY since we brought him home at 8-weeks. He is our 1st dog, so we were total newbies to all of this! We researched this forum for a year before we brought him home and we still felt overwhelmed and under-prepared. We were however on the same page with Archie at all times. We also didn't let outside influences, no matter how well meaning, dictate how we were going to train Archie. We are fortunate to have gone, and continue to go to a training center 1x per week for small group instruction (you can also get instruction for free through YouTube videos)... BUT then it is the BOATLOAD of time/work put in on the other 6-days that truly makes the difference. Especially now, during Archie's super BRATTY teenager phase!!! It doesn't sound like Brixley and you and your spouse have done formal training, so that, coupled with his teenage phase and your well intentioned, but uninformed in-laws, is probably why you are at this point. I think if you keep him, you'd need to make intensive training a unified top priority for the next 4-months and then continue to train even after the baby is born.

I am a 63 year-old retired educator with tons of time to make Archie my project! I will be honest, FOR ME, I could not have put in the time and attention it takes to raise a GR puppy into a wonderfully trained 2-year old, (yep, I think it takes that long!), when I was pregnant, or even when my kids were young (I now have 3-adult sons). I know many, many folks do it, I would not have been one of them. I also worked full time, so again FOR ME, anything else that would have required the amount of time and attention to do the responsible, right-thing...like raising a puppy for 2-years...would not have worked!

I know you wrote that you have found a home for him, but you might also look into surrendering him to a GR rescue, (if your breeder doesn't want him back). Our breeder made us sign a contract saying that he got Archie back in the event we could no longer keep him. I feel like a rescue organization is going to do an intensive vetting process for a rehome, so that Brixley doesn't end up back on the rehome circuit.

I know this is a very hard decision and I feel for you having to make it.


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## diane0905 (Aug 20, 2010)

JulieCA said:


> I want to start by saying that sharing your post on a GR forum about the quandary you're in, tells me that you DO care about your dog. My Archie is 9-months old (today, actually) and my husband and I have been ACTIVELY training him EVERYDAY since we brought him home at 8-weeks. He is our 1st dog, so we were total newbies to all of this! We researched this forum for a year before we brought him home and we still felt overwhelmed and under-prepared. We were however on the same page with Archie at all times. We also didn't let outside influences, no matter how well meaning, dictate how we were going to train Archie. We are fortunate to have gone, and continue to go to a training center 1x per week for small group instruction (you can also get instruction for free through YouTube videos)... BUT then it is the BOATLOAD of time/work put in on the other 6-days that truly makes the difference. Especially now, during Archie's super BRATTY teenager phase!!! It doesn't sound like Brixley and you and your spouse have done formal training, so that, coupled with his teenage phase and your well intentioned, but uninformed in-laws, is probably why you are at this point. I think if you keep him, you'd need to make intensive training a unified top priority for the next 4-months and then continue to train even after the baby is born.
> 
> I am a 63 year-old retired educator with tons of time to make Archie my project! I will be honest, FOR ME, I could not have put in the time and attention it takes to raise a GR puppy into a wonderfully trained 2-year old, (yep, I think it takes that long!)


It does take that long and a continuation, although not as happening, for another year.


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## laurab18293 (Oct 6, 2021)

There are some great Golden Retriever rescue leagues out there that will rehome your pup with the right family. I would look into rescues in your area and see if there are any near you. He's still young and he's a golden so I'm sure he will have no problem finding a new home.


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## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

“So? I don't appreciate people not thinking thru scenarios”

@Prism Goldens my goal to put my situation on this forum was for advice not to be scolded. And we did think it through when we got him however, we also did not plan to become pregnant yet. It happened very fast and a lot of changes has come with it. Things happen and life happens. I came here for direction to help me with a very tough decision that is hurting me mentally.

But to come at me and be so judgemental when you are not in my shoes and try to reverse the scenario
and say “ if he were a human baby and another were expected, would you 5 months ahead start taking attention from him in anticipation of his losing it in March?” Is wrong of you. You don’t know me.l and my capabilities. Again he is a dog,not a human. So yes I don’t appreciate your approach. You are coming off very judgmental and don’t know every circumstance I am in.


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## goldielynn (Sep 5, 2020)

You're in a terribly unenviable position, but I'm not sure you're making the case for yourself in distinguishing between dog and human. We just got our first dog likely around the same time you did because ours is only a couple months older than yours, but we love him just as if he were a member of our human family (to be honest, we might even love him more than some family/extended family members 🤣)

We too are a young couple and god willing, maybe will be expecting to add a new family member in the next year or so, the earliest would be right when our puppy turns two, so we have good timing on our side.

I get it -- life happens and sometimes you can't plan for the unexpected, but when I read threads about people's dogs crossing the rainbow bridge, my heart aches for when the day we will have to say goodbye to ours (hopefully a long, long time from now). If you don't have the same emotional connection with your puppy, I would say rehoming would be the way to go so. There are so many homes and families that area able to take on a golden retriever puppy.

On the flip side, if you're willing to bear down and wade through some more puppy months, his bite will get softer and his hyperness will subside with training. And the benefits to raising your children with a pet are astronomical -- numerous studies are out there, not only for good healthy germs but for emotional well-being as well.


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## buckeyegoldenmom (Oct 5, 2008)

Please do seriously consider rehoming him. I know my daughter was able to get a wonderful one year old female from a reputable breeder after a young family decided they couldn't handle and give the puppy enough attention and training. She was able to give Gracie a new home, lots of attention and training. They are a great pair now... Gracie has her CGC and is trained as a therapy dog.


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## banditsbuddy97 (Sep 7, 2021)

This is our situation with our golden just something to read and see what other people have done now our golden no matter what is obedient to the end but when we got him it was just him then we had our son who he was amazing with id trust my sons life with our golden he and my son are best friends my son is almost four now and then we got 4 more dogs over the course of a couple years so if we are not the he has the other dogs we have a electric fence which when done right is very nice but always have a camera so you can check in on him good luck on your decision I’m sure it’s very hard everyone’s situation is different


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## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

JulieCA said:


> I want to start by saying that sharing your post on a GR forum about the quandary you're in, tells me that you DO care about your dog. My Archie is 9-months old (today, actually) and my husband and I have been ACTIVELY training him EVERYDAY since we brought him home at 8-weeks. He is our 1st dog, so we were total newbies to all of this! We researched this forum for a year before we brought him home and we still felt overwhelmed and under-prepared. We were however on the same page with Archie at all times. We also didn't let outside influences, no matter how well meaning, dictate how we were going to train Archie. We are fortunate to have gone, and continue to go to a training center 1x per week for small group instruction (you can also get instruction for free through YouTube videos)... BUT then it is the BOATLOAD of time/work put in on the other 6-days that truly makes the difference. Especially now, during Archie's super BRATTY teenager phase!!! It doesn't sound like Brixley and you and your spouse have done formal training, so that, coupled with his teenage phase and your well intentioned, but uninformed in-laws, is probably why you are at this point. I think if you keep him, you'd need to make intensive training a unified top priority for the next 4-months and then continue to train even after the baby is born.
> 
> I am a 63 year-old retired educator with tons of time to make Archie my project! I will be honest, FOR ME, I could not have put in the time and attention it takes to raise a GR puppy into a wonderfully trained 2-year old, (yep, I think it takes that long!), when I was pregnant, or even when my kids were young (I now have 3-adult sons). I know many, many folks do it, I would not have been one of them. I also worked full time, so again FOR ME, anything else that would have required the amount of time and attention to do the responsible, right-thing...like raising a puppy for 2-years...would not have worked!
> 
> ...


Thank you for being so understanding. It has taking a toll on me mentally. And I think about this more than anything the past couple of months.


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## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

This is a heart wrenching position to be in, I can tell you love Brixley. 
Those mouthy 'teen' stages can be trying for any one. My daughter (late 30's) didn't want to visit when Honey was jumping and biting in her excitement to greet visitors!
I must have missed where you're from but maybe there is a rescue near you.


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## Taz Monkey (Feb 25, 2007)

Dodgerqueen said:


> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> 
> We also do not have a fenced backyard. I thought maybe we could make him into a outside dog however I worry that he might escape or get lonely. I feel bad because he is no longer the center of attention and honestly will continue to not be. We have found a home for him and I’m still in between. I don’t know what to do because I picked him out from his litter, I have raised him the best I can. But like I said my husband and I are unable to figure out the best way or agree on how to prepare him for a baby.
> He is very hyperactive and needy, which I know we will not have time for when we do have baby.
> Any advice?Is rehoming the best idea?



If you have a second child, will you feel guilty about giving your first child attention?
This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
One of my employees is currently 34 weeks pregnant. She has 2 bassett hounds. They are the center of her world. And when her baby gets here, they will be a part of that. My goldens brothers owner is currently 34 weeks pregnant also. She is not planning on giving up her dog.
My housesitter is currently due in March. She has 2 german shepherds and a lunatic pom/husky mix. She has absolutely zero plans to rehome her dogs. She actually just bit the bullet and fenced in her yard, as she knows it'll be hard to let 3 dogs out safely with a baby in tow, especially in winter.
You make sacrifices and do what you have to do in order to make things works.
Please rehome him and don't get another dog.

Edited to add that I know I sound harsh. And I am. I don't think most dogs belong living outdoors (and my dogs live indoors, get plenty of off leash playtime, go everywhere with me, and are perfectly well rounded, indoor dogs). It's just the part about focusing on the baby and trying to not give too much attention to the dog. This literally just baffles me and I don't understand it.


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## SteveRuffin (Sep 21, 2021)

I read this post and almost cried then got mad. This is after the fact that but you should’ve thought about all of these things before bringing home a living life to be part of your family. Your dog is a lifelong commitment from you for the ENTIRE life of the dog. I could not have said it any better than Prism who is one of the best breeders you’ll ever find. This situation is just really sad and it is self created. I hope your dog finds a good home and is loved.


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## 217604 (Nov 18, 2021)

SteveRuffin said:


> I read this post and almost cried then got mad. This is after the fact that but you should’ve thought about all of these things before bringing home a living life to be part of your family. Your dog is a lifelong commitment from you for the ENTIRE life of the dog. I could not have said it any better than Prism who is one of the best breeders you’ll ever find. This situation is just really sad and it is self created. I hope your dog finds a good home and is loved.


You can be mad all you want. I came on here seeking guidance and help. I didn’t come on here for you to be rude. I did my part when I got him. I researched, I bought books over golden retrievers to prepare myself.
I know the worth of this dog. He deserves nothing by a great life. Not to be kenneled up all day or outside. he deserves love and attention. Like I said above we are considering rehoming but it’s not set and stone. I came to this forum for help not to be ridiculed.


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## DblTrblGolden2 (Aug 22, 2018)

Instead of answering the comments on here find a training club, start right away. In a few months you’ll have a well behaved dog, and a stronger bond with him then you can imagine. When you get up for those midnight feedings you’ll have a companion.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. FWIW, anyone who is bashing you here has yet to experience how you can do everything right and plan ahead diligently and responsibly…and still have stuff happen. It’s called life and it can happen no matter how thoroughly we try to foresee every possibility.

I’m in the “rehome” camp. The very fact that you’re here, knowing you were going to be judged, tells me that you want the best for this dog and know in your heart you can’t provide it.

Give him the best life you can. Sometimes that doesn’t look look the way what you hoped it would.


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## Prism Goldens (May 27, 2011)

Dodgerqueen said:


> “So? I don't appreciate people not thinking thru scenarios”
> 
> @Prism Goldens my goal to put my situation on this forum was for advice not to be scolded. And we did think it through when we got him however, we also did not plan to become pregnant yet. It happened very fast and a lot of changes has come with it. Things happen and life happens. I came here for direction to help me with a very tough decision that is hurting me mentally.
> 
> ...


This tough decision seems made in my opinion... by the time someone asks a hard question they already know the right answer. I can appreciate your willingness to let this dog live a good life elsewhere and I hope for him that you have sought a new home in a safe-for-him way.... not friends but you know them well enough to have met them, know their circumstances, etc... 
I guess I think a rescue would be a better choice because you are not practiced or expert on how to rehome a dog. 

And in my own defense against your judgement on MY judgement, I am expert at finding perfect homes, and in the last 40 years I've been down the road you are on but from the other side of the street... as I said in an earlier post, it's why I am really careful on those rare occasions I sell a puppy to a young married couple. Its the thing I do not like about young couples for one of my puppies-the dog I have generations of attention and love into, relegated to the yard, ignored, at the most important time in his development. By the time wifey is 6 months into new mom, she's tired of throwing food at the dog who is dirty by now and has become even more of a behavior problem, and dog comes back- and he's damaged from the 6-9 months of being ignored. It's a huge job for me to rehab the dog this young couple has so carelessly damaged. Your dog doesn't even have the benefit of a good breeder obviously and while you think you can choose a good home, I think that a rescue would be a far better solution that the word of people who want to make him into a SD when it's unlikely he is well suited to SD work.


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

@Dodgerqueen 
Please understand that we are speaking from the heart. It may feel like scolding but try not to take it personally. That's not productive and I am sure no one's intent.
We can't help but be advocates for your dog who is in this situation through absolutely no fault of his own. And you know this - feel this - which is why you courageously put your question out on this site.
It is a "golden" site so the members are very passionate and have, in many cases, decades of experience.
You already know I am in the "rehome" camp. I believe a Golden Rescue is the best place to go to get the BEST home for your baby. Goldens are in such huge demand and a Golden Rescue Group scrupulously screens potential new homes. They all have long waiting lists and the new home is often experienced golden people. To insure the best life for your golden, go this route. It is actually a very selfless (not selfish) thing to do. Not every situation in life works out as expected. It will be okay and will work out.


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## SteveRuffin (Sep 21, 2021)

Dodgerqueen said:


> You can be mad all you want. I came on here seeking guidance and help. I didn’t come on here for you to be rude. I did my part when I got him. I researched, I bought books over golden retrievers to prepare myself.
> I know the worth of this dog. He deserves nothing by a great life. Not to be kenneled up all day or outside. he deserves love and attention. Like I said above we are considering rehoming but it’s not set and stone. I came to this forum for help not to be ridiculed.


There is so much wrong here. I am not being rude. My guess is that you’re upset because you feel some guilt as you struggle with this decision. Full disclosure I like animals more than most people. I cannot fathom that thought going through my mind but that’s me. Only speaking for me and my wife and kids, deciding to bring a puppy home means adopting that puppy which comes with a lifelong commitment to do whatever it takes because that dog is now a part of your family. Would you re-home and adopted child? Probably not. That is how I look at dog adoption. That dog became attached to you the minute you drove home with it. Dogs love us unconditionally so may sadness is for the dog and me being mad isn’t necessarily directed at you but more of an acceptance of people to view a living thing as a non permanent commitment. FWIW 27 years ago we brought home a Chessie. My kids were 4 and 5 at the time. I would venture that 98% of people on this forum would have brought that dog back. We made a lifelong commitment to that dog when we brought her home. We learned how our Chessie thought. We learned what made her tick. In short, it was hard, but the most rewarding time of our lives. I’d like to think and my kids would agree, Nellie made us better people because we learned from each other and gave each other a chance. We never gave up. Now we are nearing the end of life of our second Chessie who is 13+ years old. I’m waiting on a Golden. My first dog as an adult was a Golden. Maybe a part of my sadness is that our hearts are so ready for a Golden boy or girl and you have a beautiful soul and contemplate disrupting its life for your convenience. If you want validation on giving your family member to someone else then you have it from me. I’m afraid the fork in the road you have come to will leave you with regrets either way unless you are fully committed. I truly think taking the time, love, and commitment to work through this with your dog will be one of the most rewarding life experiences for all of you. In that end, if your not committed, I’m sure there is a little boy or girl or family out there dreaming of your dog. FWIW, I am happy to help you should you decide to work through it. After 27 years of Chessies, I can give you a LOT of support and ideas. I wish you well but most importantly, I wish your dog the best life possible.


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## Mosaic (Oct 22, 2020)

what a hard situation. I have an 11mo- they're quite a handful!
i’d really recommend the facebook group Dog training advice and support who have a number of posts on tnis topic (join and look under “guides”) Dog Training Advice and Support
you can post and ask for individual advice too
i have copied one of their posts below. It strikes me that you absolutely could prepare your pup for the baby’s arrival but only if you get your husband on board, and I’m not sure how to do that. 
good luck with both your pup and baby. 

When you find out you're expecting, you have a gazillion things on your mind. 

It's important to consider our dogs in this situation too. A lot of things are going to change, and if we use the time of pregnancy to prepare them for what's coming, then life will be a lot easier when things get real. This is particularly relevant for parents expecting their first baby, or their first baby with a new dog. (Apologies, gents, for talking to the ladies a lot in some passages... don't feel left out, it's just difficult to keep this gender neutral. Our example dog will be a boy though!)

So, sit down a few minutes and think about the following a little bit:

What sort of dog do you have? Is he pretty unflappable or easily stressed? Is he a child lover or rather worried by them? Has he met babies at all? How does he deal with change? Is he very routine -focused? Or doesn't it matter if the days are all a bit here, there and everywhere? Is he young and energetic, or maybe old and sore? How attached is he to you adults? How much attention does he require? What cues does he know? Does he know them reliably? What sort of things worry you, thinking about your dog and a baby?

Every family and every dog is different. Be honest and possibly a bit over-critical rather than blasé about these questions. The answers to all of those will help you a lot in determining what sort of preparation you should be doing. 

Now, seeing as I've just recently been through this myself, with two very different dogs and two very different babies.... let me give you a bit of an idea of what is likely going to change. 

Let's start in pregnancy. You'll become, well, round. Walrus-shaped, it'll feel like. You won't be able to cuddle your dogs as comfortably. You might feel hot all the time and not enjoy a canine radiator right close to you. You will become short of breath, sooner or later. And likely tired. So walks will become slower, shorter, flatter,...

You might be laid up for a short or extended period of your pregnancy. You might even have to be hospitalised. 

You will in most cases have to go to hospital in the end, likely rather spontaneously, and possibly stay for a bit. 

While you are preparing for the baby, you will quite likely undertake some renovating or redecorating. You might even move house. New furniture will appear and/or need to be built, possibly including power tools. Equipment such as a pram, nappy bin or a car seat will arrive (some of these double as a rocker... mine found tapping it with their nose or paw to make it move hilarious...). You might have the midwife come round and possibly examine you at home. You'll go on maternity, be home a lot, go to the doctors a lot, then suddenly disappear, possibly at an ungodly hour. 

While baby is being born and mum and baby are still in hospital, daddy hopefully will be quite keen to be there too.

So now you're new parents, and about to bring home your little bundle. You'll carry them in your arms or bring them in in the car seat. 

They might sleep, or be awake. They'll eventually burst into song. They might do that a lot, even. They will trap you under them when they've fallen asleep, and you won't really want to move. If you're lucky, for a few hours. And chances are, at least for the first few weeks, you'll have no idea yet, when those naps are going to happen. If you're really lucky, you can at some point actually put them down for a nap. So you'll put up a baby monitor. Which at some point will start blaring this really weird sounding cry. 

The baby will sigh, squeak, whine, mumble, even breathe. One of my dogs had a meltdown after my first baby arrived, because the travel cot suddenly made breathing sounds...

You'll be spending weeks to months, depending on the character of your baby, trying to find your feet. You'll be doing everything at the baby's time, accommodating every need baby has.... which again will be different every couple weeks. It's basically a game of ever-changing goal posts...

You might have daddy home for a while. You might be fit and healthy in no time, or you might be unwell, injured or laid up. 

Your health visitor will stop by a lot. 

Other people may want to stop by a lot. 

At some point you'll fall back into some sort of normality. You'll be used to doing everything with one hand and always keeping baby close. You'll be taking them to the bathroom and sitting on the floor with them for playtime. You'll start to venture out, even with the dogs. You might want to take them all in the car, or you might want to push baby in the pram. You might have stairs to negotiate. Or muddy paws to clean before letting them in the house. 

Sooner than you think, your baby will be interactive and even mobile. They'll scream, shout, squeal, hiccup, flail arms and legs, throw things.... Then they will start to roll. Some only roll over. Others roll right across the room. Mobility is right there now. Your baby will make its own way along the floor. It'll investigate everything. Sleeping dogs, empty or occupied dog beds, water and food bowls (!!!), toys of any variety... You name it. You'll need to preempt and prevent of course, cause they'll definitely try if they get the chance. 

Then, not long after, they'll start pulling themselves up. On you, on the table, on whatever they can find. Again, this includes dogs in any and all positions and situations. No, baby shouldn't be allowed that. But they sure as h... will try!

The next step after that, of course, is moving on two legs. Unsteadily at first, unpredictably, and unable to be careful. Also somewhat vulnerable to falling if knocked by more than a feather. 

And that's just about the first year. Chances are, at some point mum will be going back to work, and not be home as much anymore. A child minder might even be in the house instead, or relatives. 

So... Now I've told you all this, and I've not even mentioned what to do with your dog. 

True. 

Because to a good degree, it'll be different for every family. Look at that text again, thinking with each bit, how your dog would handle this, what they might do, how they might react. 

That will give you a good idea of what you specifically need to consider when preparing your dog for the new arrival. 

A few general things that will apply in nearly all cases:

- look at your dog's exercise needs. How will you be able to meet them? Are you over-fulfilling them so far, often doing activities, going on strenuous hikes? It might be a good idea to train down for now, as you may well not be able to keep them up for a while.

- routine - will basically go out the window for a while as far as the dogs are concerned. So if they have a set schedule so far, now is the time to slowly and gradually start varying it. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes back and forth... building up until the schedule is gone. 

- beds and sleeping arrangements. Where do the dogs sleep now? Will this stay the same after baby is born? Will their beds be in a convenient space so you don't trip over them at night when getting up? Will they have a safe space that baby/crawler/walker can't get to? How can you ensure this? (Eg, access to the upstairs to retreat is fine and dandy, until you have to put stairgates up because your crawler crawls stairs...)

- rooms and access. Similar to the bed thing. Which rooms are they allowed in now, which ones do you want them in later? Which ones will be off limits? Start training that now. Not only is it much easier for all of you, it'll also prevent them forming negative associations with the baby

- food and water bowls. They are favourite crawler targets. Find an inaccessible space! This is important, a dog should not have to worry about a child interfering with their food and drink. It is of course particularly important if your dog has a history of guarding food or water. 

- child and dog safety. How does your dog feel about a baby close by? Direct contact should be avoided (see the article on magnetising!). But can they cope with baby in the same room? Will they leave if they have had enough? Can they have toys without the baby getting them? Where can the baby hang out with toys without the dogs interfering? Since you will sometimes need two hands, how can you keep baby safe and happy when not in your arms, while keeping dogs safe and happy too, and not risking any incidents or accidents? Stairgates, playpens, crates can all be useful here. 

- traffic safety. Has your dog ever seen a pram? Can he walk beside one? Can you negotiate curbs, corners, stairs in this setup? Can you get baby and dogs in and out of the car safely?

- where do you want your dog to be and what do you want your dog to be able to do? As mentioned above, think about where their beds should be, reinforce them strongly for using their safe spots. Make these a preferred place now. Off limits rooms can be gated off, or you put a mat just outside them and train a default down on that (lots less reliable of course). Do you need to practice a cue to direct your dog on and off furniture? Do you need to refresh on recall? Loose lead walking? Polite behaviour in doorways? Do this now. 

In addition to these general things, there will be specific areas for each dog that they may struggle with. 

Does your dog not do well with change? Consider spreading out the decorating and furniture building to give them time to adjust. But leave some time at the end to allow them to get comfortable with the full setup. Include the pram, car seat etc in this. Also if you'll be using baby toiletries, consider using them on yourself for a few weeks prior so the dog can get used to the smell and associate it with you. 

Is your dog not good with strangers/guests? Think about how to manage this, practise him being put away in a safe room with a nice chew, or practise polite greetings. 

Is your dog noise sensitive? Baby sounds off of YouTube, played at very low volume while doing nice things, gradually working up the volume. 

Not sure how your dog will react if you're holding something in your arms, either standing up or sitting down? Get yourself a baby doll and try. If it can cry, that will help you gauge how they would react to strange sudden noise from your arms too. It won't be the perfect double for your baby. But it'll give you an idea whether you need to work on this, or whether they're nonplussed. Plus, it'll demonstrate to you how life with one free hand will be. Quite an eye opener. 

Baby wearing can be a great practical solution to many everyday issues while keeping baby safe, comfortable, and out of trouble. You can rent or borrow a carrier/wrap/sling and use your doll to make your dog familiar with long bits of fabric dangling or being tied, rings clattering or buckles clicking.... plus you moving slightly awkwardly for short periods of time (Bonus: you'll already be familiar with your chosen carrier type when baby gets involved.)

Make arrangements for that time when you won't be home, too. If you happen to not be able to walk the dog during or after pregnancy - who will? Introduce them now. Who can come into the house and pick them up or let them out if you have to leave sharpish? Will your dog be okay with that?

If your dog is very attached to one of you. It might be a good idea to start introducing a visual unavailability cue (search the group for an instruction).

You'll see by now that there will be different areas of work for each family. 

A pet remedy or adaptil diffuser plugged in a few weeks ahead may make it easier for some dogs. 

Avoid the dreaded visitor rush, for everybody's sake. 

Ask friends and family for help with the dog if the dog is comfortable with that. 

Make yourself dog-savvy! Learn as much as possible about their body language! This will help you loads in assessing situations as they arise!

Do make sure the dog still gets individual attention, and don't only do it when baby is asleep, as the dog may quickly learn "baby awake means no time for me" which may not be a good thing.

By all means bring back a bit of clothing from hospital... But you don't need to actually introduce dog and baby in any way. He knows baby is there

Written by Rebecca Kohnke


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## Mosaic (Oct 22, 2020)

Ps I would also Highly recommend Getting a baby gate now and starting to train pup that he’s ok and safe if separated from you by this. This will allow distance whilst not needing to put pup outside.


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

SteveRuffin said:


> That dog became attached to you the minute you drove home with it.


Wrong


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## SteveRuffin (Sep 21, 2021)

And I disagree. That dog became attached by virtue of the fact you’re now it’s sole provider. Your it’s health care policy. Your it’s alpha pack leader. It’s depending on everything from you. So yes we disagree totally.


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

SteveRuffin said:


> And I disagree. That dog became attached by virtue of your now it’s sole provider. Your it’s health care policy. Your it’s alpha pack leader. It’s depending on everything from you. So yes we disagree totally.


Dependency and attachment are two different things.
Regardless of that, it takes more than one car ride to build a bond with a puppy.


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## DblTrblGolden2 (Aug 22, 2018)

Developing a relationship with a puppy happens through care and training. Those of us that train and compete with our dogs can all attest to that. I was a pet home for a very long time. I am not underestimating the bond a pet home has with their dog, but even that bond is built over time with commitment to care and adapting the dog into the family.

At this point there is nothing to be added to this thread. You either commit to training and building a bond with the dog, or you rehome it. Either way you need to make a decision sooner rather then later. I understand you feel guilt, and think that you have a bond with the dog, what I am saying is that you don't have the kind of bond you would have if you were actively training the dog. If you surrender please contact a GOLDEN RETRIEVER RESCUE. They can properly place the dog in a home that will give it the care it needs. There is no way that a 10 month old with a mouthing issue is suitable for a family looking for a service dog. If the family offering to take him as a service dog doesn't already know that they are not prepared to deal with him anymore then you are.

Best of luck. You came here for advice and you have gotten good advice. The two options are commit to serious training today, or rehome using a Golden Retriever Rescue.


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## SteveRuffin (Sep 21, 2021)

SRW said:


> Dependency and attachment are two different things.
> Regardless of that, it takes more than one car ride to build a bond with a puppy.


I know my meaning. It’s not what you take it to mean. Attachment is defined as joined, connected bound. In zoological terms: permanently fixed to the substratum. Sessile. I’m not suggesting a car ride mentally binds a dog to a person.


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## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

Dodgerqueen said:


> You can be mad all you want. I came on here seeking guidance and help. I didn’t come on here for you to be rude. I did my part when I got him. I researched, I bought books over golden retrievers to prepare myself.
> I know the worth of this dog. He deserves nothing by a great life. Not to be kenneled up all day or outside. he deserves love and attention. Like I said above we are considering rehoming but it’s not set and stone. I came to this forum for help not to be ridiculed.


A GRF Member came here hoping for advice and she did get some good advice and maybe she wanted a little understanding too. But really, was it necessary to ridicule, be rude and condescending...

I hope a MOD will close this thread.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Given that you feel you won't have the time to give him the attention he deserves, and leaving him outside is NOT an option, he will only get in trouble left unsupervised - he's a puppy, but even adult dogs get in trouble when they aren't kept safe; the best option for him is to find him a new home where his people will commit the time and attention he deserves.

But, having said that, I don't understand why you think he would interfere with you bonding with your baby. Multitudes of people have more than one child and manage to give them all the time and attention they need. A dog is not a child, but it still holds true, you can give both the time and attention they need and deserve.

I do think you are right to find him a new home if your plan is to NOT continue to give him the attention he needs.


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## Rion05 (Jan 4, 2016)

Our first golden puppy arrived about a year and a half before our first child. It sounds like you are being honest as to how you feel about the situation, as you have to be. To the extent it helps...our situation worked out beautifully and another child followed just under three years later. That also went beautifully. The dog was extremely energetic, but I also do quite a bit of obedience training with my goldens. It was MY RESPONSIBILITY to set the dog and child up for success. The children and the dog were taught how to respect one another. They grew to absolutely adore one another. The children and the dog were best of friends and the golden was with us for nearly 14.5 years. It absolutely can work and it can be amazing. Still, I am being honest - if you cannot be committed to making the golden and child successful, you should rehome.

The attached is not a staged photo...this is the kiddos and their golden saying goodbye to daddy, as he leaves for work.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Please be respectful when commenting in this thread-

GRF Board Rules & Registration Agreement | Golden Retriever Dog Forums (goldenretrieverforum.com)

13. GoldenRetrieverForum.com Members will treat individuals with respect. The Golden Retriever Forum relies on its members to self-monitor in terms of rudeness that is just gratuitous. It is one thing to focus passionately on a topic; it is another thing to call someone an offensive name or to be condescending. We hold golden temperaments on high, so let's see our members be friendly to one another as well, even when disagreements occur. You may respectfully disagree with a member’s point of view but do not assault the member or individual personally, or be rude in your responses. Do not use statements that incite conflicts among members. This could include such things as rehashing conflicts from past or closed topics. Do not make abusive, hateful, harassing, or threatening statements. Do not make statements that are untrue, misleading or based on rumors. Discussions of a breeder’s practice are permitted but keep these discussions as you would “reviewing” any other type of business. No personal attacks on the actual individual, who is the breeder, will be permitted. If a thread starts getting heated, take it to a mod, NOT PUBLIC. Those who do not follow this can be warned, suspended or banned.


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## Hildae (Aug 15, 2012)

Having read this whole thread, I 100% think rehoming is the absolute very best option. But not to the people who want a SD. Please use a local golden rescue, they will rehome with careful consideration and find the best possible home.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Rion05 said:


> Our first golden puppy arrived about a year and a half before our first child. It sounds like you are being honest as to how you feel about the situation, as you have to be. To the extent it helps...our situation worked out beautifully and another child followed just under three years later. That also went beautifully. The dog was extremely energetic, but I also do quite a bit of obedience training with my goldens. It was MY RESPONSIBILITY to set the dog and child up for success. The children and the dog were taught how to respect one another. They grew to absolutely adore one another. The children and the dog were best of friends and the golden was with us for nearly 14.5 years. It absolutely can work and it can be amazing. Still, I am being honest - if you cannot be committed to making the golden and child successful, you should rehome.
> 
> The attached is not a staged photo...this is the kiddos and their golden saying goodbye to daddy, as he leaves for work.


OMG - this is the sweetest picture I've seen on this forum. <B


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## rtonikay (Nov 18, 2021)

ArkansasGold said:


> I think re-homing him is the best option.


I agree


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## rtonikay (Nov 18, 2021)

217604 said:


> Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision.
> i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw.
> He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not.
> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> ...


 I think you have made your mind up. I also think he would be better placed in a home that can give him the attention and training he needs. I appreciate you being honest and reaching out.


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## farouche (Jul 26, 2018)

There's what's right for you and there's what's right for the dog. You're ambivalent. My feeling is that if you're ambivalent now, you'll be even more so after you have the baby. The longer you keep Brixley, the harder it will be on HIM to be re-homed. In his best interests, he needs (especially at the age he is now) to be somewhere else. I say this given the facts you've provided and because you and your husband are not on the same page in terms of training. Do what's right for the dog; it will be right for you, too. 

You may feel bad about it initially but once the baby comes I suspect you'll be relieved. Brixley needs attention. He needs to be able to be a puppy. It would be far worse if you kept him, had the baby, and then got rid of him. Do it now. Enjoy your baby.


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## Maeflower (Jun 29, 2021)

I only have one thing to add. You seem genuinely worried about caring for a newborn and a young Golden Retriever but I really can't see this as an issue. I understand you may feel overwhelmed over being a new parent but look at all the parents who have newborns and other young children in their homes. Yes having a baby and a young dog is time consuming but is still very doable. What if you had a 2 or 3 year old other child? Would you feel you couldn't have time to care for both a newborn and your existing child? I'm in no way comparing children to puppies but at the same time, it is a time issue and I see no reason you couldn't care for your newborn and still give plenty of love and time to your puppy especially knowing your puppy will be several months older by the birth of your child. Again, there would be no question at all if you had a 2 or 3 year old child and were expecting. You wouldn't give it a thought that you couldn't still care for your existing children and your newborn. And on top of that, you aren't a single parent either so getting your husband to work with you and support you and help with day to day activities should make the decision even less overwhelming and seems to be a better option than giving up your dog. I see this could be a joyful time for you including your puppy with your new addition to your family!


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## Howling Wolf (Aug 24, 2021)

If you'd like to give him a good home I'd love to rake him off your hands. We're responsible people who have had 2 Goldens and looking for another, the older the better. You've probably got another year plus of the craziness after about 2 they start to really calm down.


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## Popebendgoldens (May 16, 2008)

I got my first golden as a puppy. This was from my mom’s litter. This was 1980. I already had 2 children One was still under a year of age and the other was 2 years old. I also had a mini poodle. And I was a military wife with my husband stationed at Ft Bliss Texas. We had a fenced in back yard as we were living off base. My younger son had medical issues at the time so it was a bit hectic.

Your dog is 10 months old. He is still a teenager and is at the time in his life when training is important. Enroll in a basic obedience program and work with your husband to take the training or help you train the dog. 
Even with no backyard, you can still exercise him by taking him on long walks around the neighborhood. Not only is it good for you but it is also stimulating for the dog as well. Now if you can’t walk in the neighborhood due to loose dogs, traffic etc drive down to a park and walk him there. Continue doing this once your baby is born and both you, your baby and your dog will come to enjoy and appreciate these walks. 
Golden Retrievers are a great dog to have around babies. They will love and appreciate your new family member as much as you do. 
Good luck
Pat


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## Dogsport (Mar 8, 2020)

The OP is not replying anymore, which means we have effectively chased her off. I understand the anger and frustration. I feel some of that too. But we don’t help anyone make a decision by criticizing them. I have a senior rescue and a youngish dog from a reputable breeder. I researched the breeder even before I got the rescue but at the time, needed a known temperament to interact with my other dog at the time. The first dog I saw at the rescue seemed perfect. She was relinquished by a young couple with two babies. Well one baby and one toddler. The dog was one. She spent her entire life tethered in a yard, with a doghouse. She was withdrawn and aloof. She didn’t interact well with people and ignored other dogs. Her life was over by age one because all drive and enthusiasm had been pushed out of her by neglect. By the time I made a decision she had been adopted by a family who wanted an easy dog. I worried about her but had to let it go. Large, social dogs should always be indoor dogs.

The OP has probably made a decision but if not, I would ask how attached she really is to the dog. If she can’t imagine living without her dog, then she should do anything she can to keep him. If not, rehome through a reputable rescue. They will evaluate him for trainability and for any bad habits that might need addressing. They may have a trainer work with the dog, then they will find a good home for that particular dog. There is nothing wrong with giving up a dog that is too much for an owner. I never have, never would, but everyone should have that option if they need it, without judgment or criticism.


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## Beau-Bear (Jun 2, 2021)

217604 said:


> Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision.
> i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw.
> He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not.
> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> ...


If it's a better choice for Brixley definitely let him go there. Your baby comes first and you will be exhausted if not already. Do what is best for your pup. Wish you well!!
P.S. my golden is 1 year 2 months old. He gets ALL of my attention as I'm older and single. My child is 28!! These dogs are happiest with attention and love. 🤗


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## Graywings (Aug 14, 2017)

It is apparent from your first post that you have given this a lot of soul-searching thought, and you know what is best for Brixley. Unexpected things happen in life forcing people to change course. I have been involved in Golden Retriever rescue for over 15 years and have seen how well young dogs transition to a new home. Think about contacting a Golden rescue and placing Brixley with them.

The Golden Retriever Club of America used to have a list of rescues but I cannot find it on their website. Here is a link from another site that lists rescues by state:









Golden Retriever Rescues By State - The Ultimate List


List of golden retriever rescue centers by state, why adopt a golden retriever, and essential things to know before bringing your golden retriever home.




puppyintraining.com





Or you could google "golden retriever rescues near me."

I wish you the very best, and please do not let some of the comments here upset you.


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## Gess (Nov 9, 2021)

217604 said:


> Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision.
> i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw.
> He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not.
> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> ...


How difficult this must be for you. I have had Golden Retrievers for 40 years and I am currently wait listed with 2 breeders, if you and your husband have different theories on training and your in-laws as well re home him. It will be difficult for you but it’s what is best for him. Choose someone who has experience with this breed and is not living close by or a relative. My reasoning is you will always think of him as yours, let yourself give him this gift. Your priorities have changed and it’s what is best. Wishing you and him the very best.


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## Bailey13 (Jan 15, 2021)

I know this is a hard decision for you and you need to do what you feel you can handle, as that is what will be best for you and Brixley and your new baby.

For rehoming, one thing I haven't seen mentioned is to contact a nearby Golden Retriever club. Their members will definitely be passionate about the breed and may know someone looking for a pup just like Brixley. Golden rescues may be hard to find nowadays so I wanted to put this out as another option. Or even other groups, like agility clubs, are full of people with a lot of networking possible.


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## kaseyk9 (Jan 26, 2021)

217604 said:


> Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision.
> i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw.
> He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not.
> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> ...


Where are you located? I would love to give him home, my children are grown now and my Golden would love a playmate !


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## Cdg711 (May 3, 2018)

I would 100% recommend rehoming him. I would find a golden retriever rescue to turn him over to so they can find the best possible home for him. My reasoning for this is your financial situation. You can’t afford daycare anymore for him and you want him to be an outside dog but don’t have a fence. So many things can go wrong with an unsupervised dog. He could get hit by a car, he could be attacked by another dog coming into your yard, he could eat something in the yard (sticks, mushrooms). Would you be able to afford an unexpected pricey vet visit?


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

FYI-The member who started the Thread hasn't been on the Forum in 6 days.

Site Admin changed the username to a # and the account to "Guest" status, I am guessing that means the OP will not be returning.


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## Dogsport (Mar 8, 2020)

CAROLINA MOM said:


> FYI-The member who started the Thread hasn't been on the Forum in 6 days.
> 
> Site Admin changed he username to a # and the account to "Guest" status, I am guessing that means the OP will not be returning.


Maybe this thread can help someone else even if the OP isn’t reading it


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

Dogsport said:


> Maybe this thread can help someone else even if the OP isn’t reading it


It will probably teach some people not to post any questions.


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## farouche (Jul 26, 2018)

Yes. There was a discussion I saw here a few months ago about how and why some newbies coming for advice feel jumped upon and I was reminded of that thread when I read some of the responses here. I do understand that there's well meaning and good intentions behind even the more cutting comments. But I also think that sometimes people are a bit kinder to the dogs than to other posters if that makes sense. The result is that often those in most need of help -- and who came here seeking help -- leave before they get it.


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## Multipurpose K9 (Nov 15, 2021)

217604 said:


> Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision.
> i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw.
> He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not.
> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> ...


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Well, OP may be long gone but maybe thread should be here for somebody to see and read before they get a puppy. 

I don't think we any of us know what the situation with the OP truly is. Certain words that were said - I think most of us absolutely 100% amensure do not want a golden to be in a home where it's just an animal to the owner. So rehoming the dog to me is the correct move to make. 

Just sharing a positive for those of us who NEED more positive in our lives.... 

Took my mom to a doctor's appointment which took 2+ hours. My guys were out in the car this whole time so I slipped out to check on them a couple times. The second time it was while my mom was being fitted for a knee brace. The chick who did xrays and fitted my mom for the brace - when she heard I was checking on the dogs, she whipped her cell phone out and shared pictures of the beagle pup that she and her family got. 6 months old. She herself had been terrified of dogs, but got a puppy because her kids (10+ years old) begged her for a dog. She waited until they were older because her statement was she was NOT going outside to clean up after a dog or anything like that. And she went into this with a grimace because she really did not want to get a dog. Fast forward and she said it was the joy her kids have and the laughter when she brings them home to this dog. And she said that while she got the dog for her kids.... it is her dog. She's the one that has all the pictures on her cell phone and it's become one of her babies.


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## Multipurpose K9 (Nov 15, 2021)

217604 said:


> Hello, I am a new member. I need help to make a difficult decision.
> i am currently 5 months pregnant and have a 10 month old golden retriever names Brixley. He is fully house trained. He is a good pup. However, he can get overly excited when we have people over or when we go to my in laws house. He knows different commands such as, sit, lay down, stay, and paw.
> He enjoyed going to daycare when we could afford it. However now, we really do not have a financial stability and with a baby coming we absolutely do not.
> But now, I’m struggling with allowing myself to give him too much attention since we are expecting. I want to keep my focus and priority on my baby.
> ...


Where are you located? I will temperament and cognitive test the dog and if he is a service dog candidate I will pay you his cost to you and his vaccine and neuter costs.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

This thread is being Closed, the OP has not returned to the Forum since starting the Thread and the member's username has been changed to a # and their Status to "Guest" by Site Admin. 

If anyone wants to contact the OP you can via a PM (Conversation), not sure the member can access their account due to the Status change.


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