# Moving on...sad



## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I lost the love of my animal life 11 years ago. He was my wonderful driving horse, Rocket. I raised him from birth, taught him carriage driving, showed him myself and loved him til the day he died and still do love him. 

A couple of years ago I sold his work cart. Last year I sold an old runabout cart that we'd had for 30 years.

Today I sold his show harness and show carriage. I am in tears over it. They are going to a very good home, a pretty young filly who is just starting her driving career. And I will see them at the shows. The woman is very nice and has spent 2 years recovering from a knee injury in a devastating riding accident. She's still on crutches after another corrective surgery. So, it's really a good thing.

I'm perfectly happy with Harry. I mean really and truly happy. I don't want to drive even though Harry drives too. He's not show driving material so he doesn't need show equipment with all the brass that needs regular polishing. 

So, I don't know why I'm spending the morning crying but I am. Moving on is hard....but necessary.


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

Thank you for sharing your love of Rocket. It's hard letting go and you have given yourself the freedom of doing things your own way at your own pace. Enjoy Harry and your life together.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Hugs. Moving on is never easy.... it's a testament to the love and importance of the relationship. However, I bet you will get a warm fuzzy happy feeling when you see Rocket's harness and carriage being used in the way it was meant to be. A little bit of Rocket and you will live on in that moment.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

It feels like the period at the end of a sentence, that's why it's sad. You're saying goodbye in your heart all over again.
Try not to be too sad. Maybe a big Golden hug will make you feel better.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Thank you all so much for your kind words. The flood gates opened again. And yes, it will be good for the carriage to be used again. It hasn't been used since 1998, just stored. Not good for the carriage, the brass or me...seeing it in the garage everytime I went out there. The sentence needs the period at the end. 

How can my heart be breaking all over again when it's been so long and I love Harry so much?


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Memories, and letting go are all hard moments, but shows the depth of your relationship with Rocket. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting or losing what is still and will always be so important to you.


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

Aww Hugs to you. I don't think we ever truly move on from something we have loved so deeply.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

He hugged me once. I was standing with my with my back to his neck. I was upset about something, don't remember what, and telling my daughter about it. I felt his shoulder pressing on my left and his neck on my right and the side of his face was almost in front of me. It may be that I was just in the way of him wanting to scratch an itch, but for me it was a hug when I needed a hug.

He always stood perfectly still when being 'put to' the carriage. People would gather and watch, take pictures. I was so proud of him. And he had a road trot that won many classes for him. He stayed balanced on the curves and didn't have to slow down for them. He went on a series of clucks, squeaks and kissing noises. Don't make the smoochy kissing noise unless you want to take of trotting. He really loved his work.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

> How can my heart be breaking all over again when it's been so long and I love Harry so much?


That's the funny thing about our heart, it feels what it feels and goes where it wants to go, without any direction from our head.

Maybe you needed a good cry. I know I do sometimes.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm just letting the tears come. I'm not big on stoic when it comes to stuff like this. Everybody needs to cry until their heart doesn't want to cry anymore. Dan is very VERY understanding and supportive. He knows what a blow it was to lose Rocket.

I think the hardest part was that I was so sick with all my heart problems. I couldn't do very much. Driving Rocket was perfect for me. I was so hurt at the time that God took him from me, knowing how hard it would be to start over with another horse. 

It was hard starting over with Daz, especially since he never took to driving. BUT, the things he taught me prepared me to have Harry and be a good mom to him. My desire to ride Harry well has led to me being healthier and more fit than ever in my adult life. So, now I see how it all fits together. If Rocket had stayed in my life...happily I'd still have him...I wouldn't have gone down the other paths. I'm very grateful for that.

So, this is painful but it is the right thing to do to complete the letting go. I'm just going to cry on and off all day.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

See, you sound better already. Have a good cry today, you'll feel much better tomorrow.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Just like with all the animals in our lives some are just more special. They come along at a time when we really need them and they just touch our soul a little more.

It sure sounds like Rocket was just special. I so understand that you love Harry and take great pleasure in your relationship, while still mourning Rocket. Not everyone understands that some horses can and do really, really bond with you but I sure do.

Big hugs to you.


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## HovawartMom (Aug 10, 2006)

Moving on is not easy and when you sell the last items,it makes it,final.
(((HUGS)))


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Thanks everyone. Yes, doing better. I went outside and rearranged the garage now that I have more space. It was cathartic. I have to also cut grass today but will definitely find time for my boys...maybe after supper. Tomorrow will be a ride day and I'm always happy when I ride. Harry is so nice that I hate to have to get back off! Thanks for letting me come here and grieve. Sadly, this GRF family knows about grief.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Sending some hugs your way - true love never dies


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