# How do you know when it's time to go?



## twogoldenboys (Mar 3, 2008)

Alex is my sweet boy who will be 14 in August. He is very healthy, except that my husband and I have noticed that he seems to be going downhill fast with his abibility to get up, walk and even stand. He is on joint supplements and Previcox, which helps, but there is no cure for aging. My question is, how do you know when it's time for them to go? As bad as a fatal disease is for your dog, at least you know when to make the decision. How do you know, when they look at you wagging their tail and they seem to be okay, but their little bodies just can't take anymore.

Alex is my first Golden, as an adult, and will my first dog to lose. I thought I had prepared myself for this for a couple of years now, but it appears that you can never really prepare yourself. 

Please help me with your stories. I just don't know what to do.


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## Judi (Feb 26, 2007)

I strongly suggest that you speak to your Vet about this.
Perhaps your dog needs stronger supplements to help. It doesn't seem like it is time yet. Dogs often have a way of letting you know when it is time. You will probably know too. 
I had a Golden Retriever who lasted over 15 years. Someone told me that I should let her go but with medication, she seemed to accept her slowing down and had a good quality of life. When she went into a coma and wasn't expected to come out of it, the Vet said it was time. We had talked about this in the past. We were there for her end and she's buried in the local Humane Society. I hope what I just wrote, helps you. In the mean time, enjoy your dog.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

We went through the same with our Maggie, she would have been 15 in Aug. For the last 6 months or so of her life we noticed her going downhill, we needed to help her get up, her hearing was going, etc. When she couldn't get up even with help and she refused to eat we knew in our hearts it was time.


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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

This is a question we are struggling with right now too. Our eskie Gromit is 13 with congestive heart failure but is doing well on meds. He has a cough, his kidneys are starting to be affected and is slowing down alot but seems happy and overall his quality of life is still good. I think that this is the key. I am assuming that he will tell us when it's time. It is such a difficult time and I know how hard it is to make the decision.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Three years ago in August I sent my 13 year old Great Pyrenees to the bridge. The last six months, I questioned myself daily as he lost all his muscle strength in his hind legs. I was always able to get him back up and moving. That time also gave my family and I the time to say good bye.

The day I knew was "the day", was the day I could not get him back up at all. His hind legs were just totally gone. The interesting thing was, as I think back, that day he was smiling more than the days before. I think he knew and was ready.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

I believe that Alex will let you know when it's time. My dogs always have, either through a certain way of looking at me, or through an action (not able to stand even with help, refusing to eat, etc.). For people who are close to their dogs and really know them, I believe our dogs let us know. For me, it's always about the dog's quality of life. Toby was pretty hard of hearing and had difficulty getting up, but those things weren't affecting his quality of life. But the day he refused to get up, even with help, I knew that he had had enough. You and Alex are close, so I believe he will tell you.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I think like the others and your Alex will let you know when it is time. My Beau had the same problems. I got him a harness that he could wear all the time. It helped him to get up without putting stress on him or us. www.helpemup.com Once he got up he could walk around just alot slower. Also we changed him to a different pain med that helped also. It helped him for a couple of years. Then one day he just didnt want to eat and the spark just seemed out go out of his eyes. We talked debated and waited 24 hours and still he didnt get better or eat. So we made the toughest decision in our lives. But it was the right one. And that day he walked into the vet with a smile. It was like he knew and was at peace. And so it made our decision alittle easier. IT still hurt like hell but we knew he was not in pain anymore.


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## booklady (Mar 3, 2009)

Personally, I think it becomes time when food is of no interest, they can't control their bodies or bodily functions and it's an effort to be interested in daily life. I also believe your dog will tell you - it's a look in their eyes.

Help can come from other animals, too, and how they react to an elderly, sick dog. Tasha (my heart golden) was fourteen when I got Desi (a heeler mix) out of the shelter and no one knew how old Desi was. For two years Tasha was the queen and Desi deferred to her at all times but the day came when Desi took over. I believe, in Desi's eyes, Tasha was no longer there - Desi would walk "through" her knocking Tash over. I probably waited too long but that told me it was time. I still cry when I think of it and that was almost ten years ago.


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## hutch (Jun 17, 2010)

Like others have said you will know when it's time, and really no one else can tell you.

He may have slowed down but as long as he's still getting around, and happy, enjoy your time with him because the days go by just way to fast.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I have to agree - before I read all the other responses, I thought, "you will know." I had a golden when I was growing up, and he got cancer. We decided to do one surgery, and he was great. He was slower, and his hearing really went. It was heartbreaking to come home and open the front door and bash into him - he just no longer could hear us coming. But he was happy. He wagged his tail, and he liked being with us. And then one day, he wasn't happy. He couldn't get up the one step into the house. He couldn't hear. He was having trouble seeing. And the cancer came back - and came back everywhere. It was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever witnessed. I picked him up and took him to the vet, and then we had a decision to make.

You will know. He'll tell you. But I hope for you it's not for a long time yet..


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## Goldenz2 (Mar 14, 2008)

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that Alex is going downhill. There are some things you can do within reason to help him. He may need stronger meds. My old guys do very well with the Metacam (anti infllammatory) and Tramadol (pain reliever) combo. And as mentioned the harnesses work wonders and from experience, can give them more time with you. Every dog is different, every dog tolerates things differently depending on their personality and medical history. 

There is unfortunately no easy answer to your question. I had to put my first Golden down last January. He was almost 14 and was my heart dog. He was as stubborn as they come, a fighter till the end, and did NOT want to EVER leave me or show me ANY sign. I had to make the heartbreaking decision for him. The most useful information that anyone has ever given me was " I'd rather it be a week too soon than a second too late". 

The last 8 months of Angelo's life was alot of hard work for us. Alot. He had strong front legs but little to no use of his rear legs due to severe muscle loss and lack of feeling. No bowel control at all, but could pee on his own with us holding him up. I could go on and on but despite all these things...he had the strongest will to live of any dog my Vet has ever seen. He would have NEVER been ready to tell me...because every day was a celebration for him despite his disabilities. 

The day before we decided to put him down, we brought him to my moms house. (his favorite place) It was FREEZING out but he had fun in the snow and we took tons of videos and pictures. And he played with his beloved tennis balls one more time. (photo attached taken the day before)

He LOVED going to the Vet and knew where all the cookie jars were. He was "famous" there and is still a lifelong favorite patient of many of the staff there. He ate his favorite treats given to him by his favorite vet tech, barked barked barked like he loved to do and fell asleep in my arms. I did not want to be one of those people that waited TOO long. I didn't want to have to rush to the Vet in the middle of the night and have him be put down by a stranger. He was put down by his Vet that had been taking care of him since he was a 3 month old 19lb puppy. So as much as I will always second guess even though people agreed it was "time". I have peace in knowing that he was happy on the way out. So what I'm trying to say is that if you have a "fighter" on your hands...they may not tell you it's "time". 

I don't know if this helps you at all. But I wish you lots more time left with your Alex. Can you post a picture of him?


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

As others have said, I think a loss of appetite is a really strong indicator that it's time. My Carmella always had a lusty appetite and was very energetic. Over time her appetite waned, but the day she refused all food, including a piece of bacon (her favorite treat) I knew it was that time. There were other indicators prior to her complete loss of appetite, though. For one, she spent all of her time outside, and often was kind of hidden in the groundcover or in a bush, which was really not like her at all. One day, near the end, I came home from work and she didn't get up from her position on the garage floor to come greet me. That was REALLY against her normal personality.

If your dog is still eating well enough and shows an interest in his surroundings, I still say he has time left. I'm sorry you're having to think about this. It's very, very hard.


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## AmbikaGR (Dec 31, 2007)

My simple answer would be when they lose their dignity of life. But of course your question is FAR from simple.I wish you the strength to make that decision when the time comes.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I have a senior GR and this is my first time having to deal with arthritis and mobility issues. My others have died from injury or cancer. That is hard, but the answer is cut and dried.

I agree that you should talk to your vet about more aggressive treatment of Alex's issues. My older guy is now on 50 mgs of rimadyl 2X a day. He does not tolerate Tramadol well, but that was suggested in conjunction with the rimadyl. We went to the ortho vet last week and I am just starting him on Sam-E on the ortho vet's recommendation.

All of us with senior dogs are searching for the magic bullet and offer each other support and advice. I hope you and Alex have more good time together. I do have to disagree with my vet when he says someting will shorten Copper's life. IMO if it helps his remaining time be better, then shortening it is okay. If he can have a happy 3 months or a not so happy 6 months, I believe he would want the good time.


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## boomers_dawn (Sep 20, 2009)

I never had to go through this with a dog yet but I did have one experience of having to rush my guy to the ER vet because he couldn't stand up at all. Don't ask me how I got him in the car, it was one of those miracles. I thought that was it that day, but the ER vet gave him a shot and he got up after awhile, and we got sent home w/ some stronger meds (Tramadol) so I just wanted to say just because they can't get up one time doesn't mean it's time yet. I agree w/ the person who said check w/ your vet and see what medication options there are. With science and meds these days our dogs can live longer and fuller lives. Best wishes, hope you get lots more years n miles together. 

P.S. When I took my cat, he was really confused and didn't know what he was doing, quality of life. I did tell the vet that day I was not sure it was time and she said "it's ok to go on a good day" so we did it. It was hard but I like that saying - it's ok to go on a good day. Although we don't want it to be too soon.


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## twogoldenboys (Mar 3, 2008)

Thank you for your stories. I took Alex in to the vet on Saturday and went ahead and had his geriatric blood work done, since it was due in August anyway. He is now on Metacam and Tramadol, which seems to help. He still has a hard time getting up, but he doesn't pant as much, which is probably a reaction to the pain. My vet has a Sr. Dalmation so she was able to share her stories with me about her dog, which helped me. We are just going to wait and see how he does and make life a bit easier for him, common sense stuff.

My boy Alex:


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Alex is SO handsome.... love those sugar faces. I hope his meds makes his days easier... for him and you. If needed, do look into the harnesses that help to get him up. They've been helpful for many.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Alex is just gorgeous.:smooch::smooch::smooch:

It might take a few weeks for you to see the full results from the medications. I hope he feels better and you should see improvement in his mood, even if you didn't notice he was a little down from the pain.

I have to make sure Copper takes his rimadyl with a full meal. Did the vet mention that with metacam? that is the one nsaid I/we haven't tried.

Good luck. browse through the senior threads and see if any additional information might prove beneficial.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

Aww he is so regal! I hope the meds kick in soon and he is relieved of pain!


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## duckdog (Mar 20, 2010)

What a handsome old fella!!!

My best wishes for him getting some relief. Like was said, this might take some weeks, but I'll be hoping it helps him out.


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## Goldenz2 (Mar 14, 2008)

What a beautiful boy!! Thank you so much for posting his picture...his eyes are gorgeous!!

I've had alot of luck with the Metacam/Tramadol combination so I wish Alex the same. Definitely look into getting a harness to help him get up...it's a tremendous help! 

Keep us posted on how he is doing.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

He is gorgeous...hope the meds are working and hes not in pain anymore.


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## twogoldenboys (Mar 3, 2008)

Update on Alex: The Metacam/Tramadol combo seems to really be helping. I also got him a harness which takes the awkwardness out when helping him up and down the stairs. 

But now we have a new set of concerns. The results from his blood work came in and he is anemic. He was borderline 6 months ago, but it's gotten worse. We go back in 2 weeks for more blood work to compare. I'm hoping the cause is from something simple to treat, like tick and not cancer. He has also been diagnosed with laryngeal paralysis, so we really need to watch his activity. 

My poor boy.


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## AmbikaGR (Dec 31, 2007)

A lot of what Alex is going thru sounds similar to what we went thru with Keeper. She did have a period of anemia also, but we did not treat it. If I recall correctly it was thought to have to do with the diarrhea she had experienced and the level did return to normal over time. 
I have a saying
"It sucks getting old, but it is so much better than the alternative"

I try to live my life this way and that of my dogs.

Continues good news and luck to you and ALex!! :wavey:


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Saying prayers for dear Alex. He is so beautiful.
Our golden Max had periods where he could barely get up off and on for several years. Meds helped a great deal and kept his quality of life. When meds no longer were the answer (he developed megaesophagus and aspiration pneumonia) and the only answer was a feeding tube, we let him go with dignity. We could tell by his eyesa dn he was too weak to even wag his tail.


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## Duke's Momma (Mar 1, 2007)

Alex is ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL - so handsome and regal. I love his eyes.

I'm so sorry that you are having to make this decision. I had a vet once tell me that when it becomes a burden to their family to care for them, then it's time. I completely disagree with this and changed vets shortly after Duke's first year.

It might be true with some breeds, I don't know, but with Goldens there is such a connection between them and their family that it isn't a burden - never a burden - for us (well, me anyway) to care for them. Regardless of how many accidents and things we have to do. We just want them happy and they're happiest with us!

It is hard, however, to see them fail. Heartbreaking. Duke's vet and now Coley's said pick several things that they enjoy beyond all others. When all of those things are no longer enjoyed by them, then it's getting very very close. With Duke, he truly told me. Again we all play the second guess game I suppose, but I know deep down inside - as painful as it is always, - I know it was the right time.

I'm so sorry and I wish you peace and an assurance. He truly is magnificent.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Alex*

Your Alex is just gorgeous. 

Glad to hear the Metacam and Tramadol are helping him.

It seems when our dogs get older, just as with people, it is best to live One Day At A Time.


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## boomers_dawn (Sep 20, 2009)

Alex is very handsome. I wish him good health and many more years and mileage to go.


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## merryh (Dec 5, 2009)

They have an unbelievable way of communicating when it is time. They start to distance themselves from you - not looking you in the eye, not wagging their tail, not their normal jovial self. We knew the day had come when the night before our 14 1/2 year old girl couldn't sleep and wandered around our bedroom barely able to walk. The sound of her walking was like a flat tire. I knew she couldn't go another night. She was letting us know she was ready. This decision was only confirmed the next morning when she wouldn't eat or drink any water and had trouble getting up and walking to go outside. I called the vet that morning and we arranged to bring her to his office for his last appointment of the day. He was incredible how he comforted her and us.

You'll know and he'll tell you. Enjoy your many remaining days with him. No one can prepare you for the loss and the grief that comes with losing them. But this forum does help get you through it and made me smile again to see such wonderful Goldens! -


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

twogoldenboys said:


> Update on Alex: The Metacam/Tramadol combo seems to really be helping. I also got him a harness which takes the awkwardness out when helping him up and down the stairs.
> 
> But now we have a new set of concerns. The results from his blood work came in and he is anemic. He was borderline 6 months ago, but it's gotten worse. We go back in 2 weeks for more blood work to compare. I'm hoping the cause is from something simple to treat, like tick and not cancer. He has also been diagnosed with laryngeal paralysis, so we really need to watch his activity.
> 
> My poor boy.


When our Barkley had his splenectomy we were prescribed Pet-Tinic liquid B vitamins and iron to supplement him with. It helped him a lot. You could check with your vet on this or other good iron/B supplements to help him battle the anemia. The liquid suspension we used was corn syrup based and we put it on top of Barkley's food--he loved it!


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## hollyk (Feb 21, 2009)

What a great picture of Alex. I feel like I could reach out a give him a hug. Please give him one for me.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Alex*

Alex is such a handsome boy!!


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## sdain31y (Jul 5, 2010)

Our girl Annie, a love child was about 12 when we noticed her slowing down. She'd already gone deaf which actually seemed to calm her and really increase the quality of her life. She could retire from trying to be the protector of the house. The last 9 mths or so, she'd been dx with kidney failure but wasn't in pain, ate well, wanted to go for walks and was happy to spend time with us. We cherished every minute we had with her and in the end fed her any food she'd eat: rotissire chicken, cat food, hot dogs, steak whatever. Finally one weekend, she seemed to just ..... stop. She didn't want to eat, wouldn't even drink the rain water we'd collected for her. I'll never forget our sweet girl slowly going out that night to do her business so she didn't have an accident! She came in and laid down next to me and we knew it was time. We took her over the bridge the next morning with tears. But, we'll always, always treasure those last months, days and minutes with her. As long as she wanted to live and didn't suffer we celebrated her life with her. When she was done, we knew. I still miss her, but am thankful we could make her final journy painless and in my arms.

She may have been a love child, but her heart and soul was pure GOLD!


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## wyldeflower (Aug 11, 2010)

My first retriever was a rescue badly beaten and starved and it took us 3 years to get weight on him and control his temprement as he could get nasty we had him castrated and he lived quite happy for another 3 years then he turned aggressive and the vet said he had a brain tumour which was making him that way so it was time to go as he got so nasty he had the vet up the wall and it was me who had to tranquilise him as only i could touch him.
I was very upset as he was such a clever dog but i went straight out and bought a golden retriever puppy which eased the pain and he lived till he was 12 then he could hardly stand up s
o we had to let him go as he was suffering.
Then connor was ok till he was 10 then he had dementia and they found a deep rooted tumour so i spent 12 months watching him slowly disintergrate and it was so hard till he could hardly swallow and was living on rice and chicken and that was passing through him.so i had to let him go . 
Its the hardest thing to do i wasnt going to have another as i found it devastating but i miss the company so i had one more.


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## ChiPack (Jan 22, 2010)

This is such a difficult question to answer. My husband and I really struggled with this when we lost our golden in January. Wembley had lymphoma and despite chemo, really went downhill fast. We decided that when she couldn't walk down the back steps anymore, it was time to go. 

Oddly enough, I really felt that Wembley told me she was ready on the same day, before I even saw that she couldn't get down the stairs anymore. It was early in the morning and we had driven all night long back and forth from the emergency vet where she was getting her chemo. Anyway, I was exhausted and very emotional. Wembley just plopped down on top of my chest and nuzzled her head under my chin the way she always did, but it felt different. I just knew it was her way of telling me to let her go. 

Ugh...I can barely finish this post. She was only seven. Still, we knew it was time. It was very peaceful.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*how we knew*

Both of our older Samoyeds, stopped, eating and drinking and could not stand up to go out to bathroom literally overnight-we took them to the vet to send them to the Rainbow Bridge.
We sent our Samoyed, Snobear, to the Rainbow Bridge, on March 27, 2009 from hemiangiosarcoma that we literally found out overnight he had-there were no signs that Snobear was ill at all until March 26th.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Your boy is so gorgeous and he looks happy. I hope the meds will help him get around better .

I am facing something similar with my dear boy who has terminal osteosarcoma. It is so painful a decision. I don't want him to suffer but I can't bear to think of him going. It just breaks my heart.


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## pwrstrk02 (Aug 11, 2010)

"If it should be that I grow frail and weak. And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this - the last battle - can't be won. For on this day, more than the rest, your love and friendship must stand the test. We've had so many happy years, you wouldn't want me to suffer so, when my time comes, please, let me go ..." 

Julia Napier
This really helped me. I could hear my Marvin saying something like this to me before he left us. I hope it eases you heart a little.


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## twogoldenboys (Mar 3, 2008)

*My sweet Alex is at the Rainbow Bridge*

I post this with a heavy, heavy heart and thank you all for your wonderful words about my sweet boy, Alex. I lost Alex last Monday from a stomach torsion caused by bloat. He went fairly fast and gave me no choice than to send him to a better place. He gave me and my family the best 14 years of our lives. I'm so lucky to have had such a wonderful, selfless, loving dog. Alex is at the Rainbow Bridge, painfree with all the tennis balls a dog could ask for and with the neverending wag of his tail. 

Thank you, my friend, for your unconditional love.


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## ELI&BAILEY'S MOM (Dec 18, 2008)

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. Rest in peace Alex.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Alex was sure a handsome fellow, and looks as if he enjoyed life to the fullest. How blessed you were to have him for 14 wonderful years.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss of your gorgeous Alex. You were so blessed to have him 14 years. Godspeed dear Alex.


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## Laurie (Sep 20, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss......Alex was a handsome boy.

RIP Alex.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

I'm so sorry. Alex was a gorgeous boy, and so very special.


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## Cathy's Gunner (Dec 4, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear about Alex. He was blessed to have you as an owner. He sounds like he gave you many wonderful memories.


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## MyMaggieGirl (Nov 12, 2008)

Run free, Alex, you handsome boy.

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## janine (Aug 8, 2009)

What a sad day on the forum and what a sad day for your family. Your Alex was one handsome dog...RIP sweet boy.


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Very sorry for the loss of Alex. We are indeed blessed for we time we have with our truly special friends.


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## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

Just read the thread, sorry for your loss, your Alex sounds and looks like a sweetheart.....may he be painfree chasing those tennis balls that you say he loved so, and one day, he will spot you from across the field, run to you as if it was yesterday that you were together, and his tail will be wagging, and he will be barking, and you both will continue over the bridge with much love in your hearts......Prayers to you and your family at this time........so so sorry......


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## Samsoniam (Sep 1, 2010)

My condolances on your loss, just remember the last loving thing you can do for your furkid is to let them go. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, but at the same time the most loving.
I hold them in my arms and tell them how much I love them, so that my voice is the last thing they hear.
I know that we will be together at the Bridge someday, this I believe with all my heart.
Samsoniam


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Alex, a beautiful boy. Godspeed Alex, say hello to my sweet Barkley at the Bridge.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I am so sorry Alex is gone. No matter how we try to prepare ourselves it is always a huge blow.

He sure was a beautiful boy.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so sorry that you lost Alex - Run softly at the Bridge sweet boy


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## Augie's Mom (Sep 28, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss, may the memories of the love you shared bring you comfort in the days ahead.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

So very sorry for your loss....
Enjoy your tennis balls Alex...


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## 2golddogs (Oct 19, 2009)

I am so sorry that your handsome Alex is gone. How blessed you were to share his beautiful life for 14 years. Godspeed Alex.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Your Alex was a lovely boy. I'm so very sorry that he's gotten his angel wings, leaving you with such sorrow. Play hard, Alex, and I'm sure Cody is sharing his treats with you.


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## Walker (Sep 5, 2010)

I'm so very sorry for your loss of beautiful Alex. May you find comfort in the love you shared and in the many wonderful memories.


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