# Lost the will to live with 6 month old pup



## Sydney's Mom (May 1, 2012)

Other people will likely have much more advice than me, but it is common for pups to start going through a phase like this.

It sounds like you're giving her a ton of exercise, but the more the better. Even mental exercise is good.

And don't, DON'T reward her for being bad. Giving her a treat makes her "good' for a minute, but it's really just teaching her that you'll give her something for her undesirable behaviour and that's a horrible pattern.

Try to give her structure. Look up Nothing In Life Is Free and try to work with her that way for a bit. 

But most of all, be patient.


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

Hopefully it is just a phase. Did she get enough socialization with other dogs as a young pup? Also, you probably shouldn't let her off leash at this point. It also sounds like the walks are not enough. Have you taken her swimming?


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

I'm sure others will give you advice, but she's much too young to be let off lead, especially since she has no recall skills. Are you in an enclosed area when you let her off lead?


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## goldhaven (Sep 3, 2009)

It'sme said:


> Hi, I've come back to these forums time and again with various little things as my pup has grown and found them invaluable and reassuring. This is my first post.
> 
> I have a gorgeous 6 month old girl retriever puppy who's always been high spirited and been tiring to cope with. She's gone to puppy classes with me since 11 weeks old and though very bitey, jumpey, greedy, and not affectionate at all on-and-off ever since, was a pleasure to have around in her own way.
> 
> ...


What did your trainer have to say about this behavior? Is he/she able to give you any advice. 
For a 6 month old puppy, 2 walks a day is not really enough exercise, and a walk that is unpleasant and stressful may not be all that helpful. 
Do you ever throw the ball for her? Does she get to swim? How long are her training sessions? Are you enjoying her at all? 
If she is being left in the crate longer and longer because of bad behavior this may be adding to the problem by creating a frustrated, energetic, puppy. 

Ahh, the question of re-homing. I am hearing it more and more often. Usually at about this age. The question is, how much time are you willing to spend to get the dog that you want? If you don't have the time to spend with her then re-homing her may be a good option for you and her. 

There is a lot of help on this forum, whatever you choose to do. If you choose to work at it and train her, there is a ton of info on here about how to begin. I would definitely start with some more training classes or a private trainer. If that doesn't fit into your budget, there are lots of you tube videos about dog training techniques. 

If you choose to re-home your dog, will the breeder take her back? If not, start looking into a golden retriever rescue in your area. 
Please don't:
drop her off at a shelter
advertise her on craigslist
advertise her in the local paper.
If you want to give her up and are having a hard time finding someone to take her, I am sure that someone on the forum may be able to help by taking her. 
Where do you live?


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## It'sme (Jun 30, 2012)

I should explain a bit more...

She has gone off lead from the first walk she had, and had near perfect recall until 3 weeks ago. She used to actually be happy to come back and be called a good girl for it and would walk alongside for a while wagging her tail and go off sniffing again. I didn't know of any recommended age limit for going off lead. My trainer thought it healthy that she was fine off lead so young.

She goes in water almost every walk, it is her favourite past time, there are many streams and rivers around where we walk.

She is probably getting an hour and a half of walking a day, is this not enough?

She is with me almost all of the time, I take her everywhere - I work from home quite often, and take her with me if I work elsewhere, my clients love having her around, or did, I couldn't take her right now.

If this is a phase, how long will it last? I can probably cope with another couple of months through insane levels of control of her freedom... If it's going to be a year or more, then I will have to rehome her.


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## lgnutah (Feb 26, 2007)

It sounds like she needs to be walked and trained on leash until her behavior improves. Even in the house, attach her to you on a leash. Instead of feeding her regular meals in a bowl, use the pieces of kibble to reward her when she exhibits good behavior.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Dallas Gold said:


> I'm sure others will give you advice, but she's much too young to be let off lead, especially since she has no recall skills. Are you in an enclosed area when you let her off lead?


Completely agree with this. 

Your dog may not be old enough and trustworthy off leash until she's 2 at least. You have to be patient. _And prudent._ 




> She is now basically living full time in her crate because otherwise she's bouncing around, throwing her toys around, damaging everything through chewing, and jumping up at me.


Reading this, I don't mean to be harsh, but I do think that your puppy might be happier in a different home where she has more patient interaction with her family who knows what normal dog behavior is. 

Puppies should run and play. It is a joy to see them bouncing around, because it means they are healthy and feeling good. My golden throws his toys around and physically bounds around with his toys - and I LOVE seeing this. 

Stress causes excessive chewing and jumping. 

If you can't change your approach to raising and keeping a young golden retriever, I would highly suggest finding a great home for her.


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## goldhaven (Sep 3, 2009)

She is becoming a bratty teenager. Yes, it sounds like a phase. My suggestion is to start from scratch with the training. If she no longer has a recall, put her on a lead until she does. She should have to work for her freedom and her playtime. Go back to the basics. Sit, stay, down, come, heel. Set her up for success. If she is having a hard time focusing, try shorter sessions and always make them fun. 
I will say that the more she gets away with certain behaviors, the more likely she is to repeat them. If she doesn't have a recall anymore, don't try to call her unless you are sure that you can follow through without chasing her. 
I really hope that you are able to work this out. 
Welcome to the forum and please post some pictures of your girl.


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## BajaOklahoma (Sep 27, 2009)

She is also the age for hormones to start kicking in - think bratty, know-it-all teenagers (makes you want to have kids, right?  ). When are you/are you planning to spay her? Getting rid of hormones really helped my dogs - more attentive and behaved.
Doggie daycare or playdates would help - a tired dog is a good dog. 
My two eldest are fine off leash due to perfect recall. Banker has aways to go, so he is on leash.
Clicker training, just for the reminder of what you expect, and Nothing in Life is Free are good ideas.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

At six months old they all go brain dead for the next few months. She is a teenager now . Stay strong, and please put her back on the leash.


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## khrios (May 5, 2010)

It'sme said:


> Hi, I've come back to these forums time and again with various little things as my pup has grown and found them invaluable and reassuring. This is my first post.
> 
> I have a gorgeous 6 month old girl retriever puppy who's always been high spirited and been tiring to cope with. She's gone to puppy classes with me since 11 weeks old and though very bitey, jumpey, greedy, and not affectionate at all on-and-off ever since, was a pleasure to have around in her own way.
> 
> ...


I recommend finding a trainer to help you. My dogs went through similar phases, and with consistent training, they turned out to be amazing companions. 

Training classes, private and group, will be helpful. With a particularly high-spirited dog, I took three classes a week. I needed the help and couldn't afford a private trainer. I put in the work and he came around. 

No more off-leash until she has earned the privilege. And following "nothing in life is free" will help.

Hang in there.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

The best and only good piece of advice I got from the breeder of my second golden, was never use the word come when it is an option. Clearly, your dog has decided coming to you is an option. Since she had it once, she should be able to have it again. By letting her off leash to practice her new bad behavior, you may inadvertently be training her to do those things. So as everyone else has said, go back to a leash. I also think that when pups are very young, it is the time to teach them how to go off leash, i.e. when you can still outrun them! Maybe it's because I have six of varying ages, mine do not require any exercise. They play with each other and can run if they want to when they are outside, but mostly sleep on the furniture...I have always found with my dogs that ten minutes of obedience training once or twice daily establishes a bond between us that helps me to live with them. I would enlist a good trainer and get some help.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Sounds like she has hit her teenager phase.

Crating her will only get you so far and will do nothing to give her a constructive job - work her - physically and mentally. When you take her for walks, always have really good treats and call her back frequently so that she gets to earn those treats. 

If you choose to give up on her, see if her breeder will take her back. I have an absolutely awesome girl whose owners gave up on - I'd love to thank them even though I had to do a lot of counter conditioning for their bad actions (afraid of bathrooms - did not know stairs - hated her crate - hated the car etc). Their loss is my gain!

If you choose to keep her, teach her what she needs to know to live in your world - sit, down, come, no jumping etc. She cannot be jumping at the same time she is sitting, she cannot be blowing you off while running towards you for a game of tug etc - she is a dog and needs outlets for her energy and structure for mind; she needs both physical & mental stimulation.


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## mooselips (Dec 4, 2011)

So sorry you feel so discouraged, but let me give you a happy thought.
It's a phase.

I know this for sure because I am living it.
Bridget just turned 7 months old, and right now she is a miserable "blond"

Only will do recall right now 50% of the time.
Chewing, nipping, and just overall obnoxious.
Grabbing, stealing, surfing.....you name it!

But we are at the cottage, so she is continually off leash....

I just amped up her exercising, and swimming, and fetching, and occasionally get her back on her leash to let her "remember" the real world...

Just a phase, take a deep breath, and I will hope for you and ME this phase ends SOON!


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

I would suggest you find a trainer to help direct you on, not only how to keep your dog to be mentally and physically stimulated, but to teach your dog her job and to help develop a relationship with you. The fact that you thought your dog was solid with a recall at such a young age just tells me you could use some help in understanding how to deal with puppy behavior.

You are not alone in becoming frustrated with your young dog. This is a typical age when the dog ends up in rescue because the owner did not know how to give structure to their pup's world. 

Your dog should not be running off leash at all since she has now learned that she wins by not coming back to you.

Find a trainer, take a deep breath, hold on to your patience and begin again. You will not regret it once you get beyond this phase. Good Luck!


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## debra1704 (Feb 22, 2012)

Winter is 7 months old & although I'd characterize her as a calmer than average Golden puppy, she is definitely in her "teenage" phase now. Her recall, once perfect, is now about 50/50. Although she is off-leash in our fenced in yard, I would never allow her to be off-leash in public; with our 16 year old dog, I never had her out about town without the least, ever. They do sell very long leashes that you can use on the beach, incidentally. For chewing, we give her chew bones every day- this curbs any impulse to chew on furniture. She also jumps up on every houseguest. We learned that her Golden friend "Max", only one month older, was going to be rehomed because the owner is just so exasperated with his high energy personality. Not all breeds are for every family, and I can't tell you if you should rehome or not. We once owned a dog which we probably should have rehomed- he was a great "only" dog, but at the time we had two others, and he never liked them. I do think your dog will mature nicely in time, but she also may not be the right dog for you. Best of luck with your decision.


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## quilter (Sep 12, 2011)

Do you ever get a break from the puppy? We trade off the puppy, so that no one has to be in charge of him 24x7. Not that we don't love him , but everybody needs a break now and then.

You didn't mention chew toys. Does she have things that she's allowed to chew up and tear apart? Our puppy will rarely chew on a rawhide-type thing, but he does love to rip up cardboard.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

Mick got brain dead when he was 6 months old. Went from an almost perfect puppy to a little tyrant that thought he did nothing wrong. 2 months later he showed promise again.
I think they test you.


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## lynn1970 (Feb 6, 2011)

quilter said:


> You didn't mention chew toys. Does she have things that she's allowed to chew up and tear apart? Our puppy will rarely chew on a rawhide-type thing, but he does love to rip up cardboard.


We also let Rileah have things to destroy. We would give her the cardboard that 12 pack sodas are packed in. We also gave her empty two liter bottles. You have to be careful with the bottles because they can swallow plastic but you can supervise closely.


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## debra1704 (Feb 22, 2012)

We also do Doggie Daycare with Winter on occassion, and even have done 3-4 overnights (just one night at a time). It IS good to have a break- be in from your puppy or your kids (or, ideally, both!)


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## mooselips (Dec 4, 2011)

I give fresh marrow bones that I freeze, that keeps her busy for at least 30 minutes!


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## Wagners Mom2 (Mar 20, 2012)

You have received great advice here...but I wanted to just send my support. (((HUGS))). I hope things get better real soon.


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## penparson (Sep 19, 2010)

Read the thread "Parents of Teenage Pups" - you'll get a lot of good advice. A lot of us have been through a perfectly horrible teenage phase with our pups and IT DOES GET BETTER. Don't give up on her yet - but it may take you a while to find the best strategy for working with your pup. NILF worked very well for me with our pup Wakefield - he still gets wired from time to time and I just turn around and walk away. He usually gets the message. At 20 months, he's turning into a lovely dog.


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

"This too shall pass"...really just sounds like going through the bratty defiant stage. While not a Golden, my Sibe actually took a dump on the sofa right in front of me, with a defiant look in his eyes at that age LOL.


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## Gold-Rush (Mar 21, 2012)

Dreammom said:


> "This too shall pass"...really just sounds like going through the bratty defiant stage. While not a Golden, my Sibe actually took a dump on the sofa right in front of me, with a defiant look in his eyes at that age LOL.


Wow! I literally laughed out loud!!


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

Gold-Rush said:


> Wow! I literally laughed out loud!!


 
Just trying to bring some humor to the thread...Yep he did it! He was housebroken within two days of bringing him home at 8 weeks, was a little devil but really quite good for a Sibe. I think he just wanted to test the waters and see if I really meant business about that stuff . All of my dogs have tested me at about that age...


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## Goldens R Great (Aug 19, 2010)

I currently have a 10 month old golden boy that has a lot of energy and what has helped with him is to make sure he gets a good workout every day. Walks simply don't cut it with him. I either take him swimming or take him to the local ball fields so he can run as much as he wants. (The ball fields are fenced.) I think maybe your girl needs more vigorous exercise.

Also, I would start making her sit for everything – sit before she gets her food, sit before she gets a treat, sit before she goes outside, sit before she comes back inside, sit before she gets out of the crate, sit before you hand her a toy, sit before she gets petted and just randomly tell her to sit because you want her to sit. This really helped with my second golden that was quite a little character. I started doing this with her when she was around your dog's age and I actually noticed a difference in her behavior in one weekend. I've also been doing this with Finn since he was 8 weeks old and it has really paid off. 

Like the others have said please don't let her off leash if her recall isn't 100%. She could either get hit by a car or she could cause a car wreck if she's in the road and a driver tries to avoid her.

I would sign her up for further training classes or possibly have a trainer come to your home.

I wouldn't let her come in close contact with children and other dogs until she is better with her obedience and a little bit more mature.

I wish you all the best with her. I think she'll be a good girl if you boost the exercise and really work on the obedience. In addition, you're probably just going to have to wait for her to mature. If you really aren't able to do all of this though I would absolutely find a good rescue to take her.


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## Gold-Rush (Mar 21, 2012)

Dreammom said:


> Just trying to bring some humor to the thread...Yep he did it! He was housebroken within two days of bringing him home at 8 weeks, was a little devil but really quite good for a Sibe. I think he just wanted to test the waters and see if I really meant business about that stuff . All of my dogs have tested me at about that age...


I can just picture it--it's hilarious. They always give you a look when you see them pooping anyways. That's great.

I'll be venturing into that stage of puppyhood soon. I'm crossing my fingers :crossfing. I hope everything works out for you OP. I know that no matter how prepared you think you are for a puppy, they still seem to test you in new ways.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Goldens R Great said:


> I currently have a 10 month old golden boy that has a lot of energy and what has helped with him is to make sure he gets a good workout every day. Walks simply don't cut it with him. I either take him swimming or take him to the local ball fields so he can run as much as he wants. (The ball fields are fenced.) I think maybe your girl needs more vigorous exercise.
> 
> Also, I would start making her sit for everything – sit before she gets her food, sit before she gets a treat, sit before she goes outside, sit before she comes back inside, sit before she gets out of the crate, sit before you hand her a toy, sit before she gets petted and just randomly tell her to sit because you want her to sit. This really helped with my second golden that was quite a little character. I started doing this with her when she was around your dog's age and I actually noticed a difference in her behavior in one weekend. I've also been doing this with Finn since he was 8 weeks old and it has really paid off.
> 
> ...


This is excellent advice. I hope it helps a little to know you're not the only one who has gone through this and that if you hang in there it will get better. Please try the doggy daycare/play dates advice, it's such a huge help. And try searching "Nothing In Life is Free". NILF is a great protocol for a pushier dog and the certified veterinary behaviorist I have worked with in the past said he practiced it for life with his lab and golden and is a huge believer in the protocol. Don't give up!


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

You have gotten a lot of excellent training advice. But let me suggest something completely different: Have your pup tested for thyroid disease. It's very common in Goldens, often develops when they are young, and it can cause aggressive behavior of all kinds. If your vet tells you her thyroid is "low normal," she probably needs medication since low normal is NOT normal for a Golden.

Good luck!


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

GoldensGirl said:


> You have gotten a lot of excellent training advice. But let me suggest something completely different: Have your pup tested for thyroid disease. It's very common in Goldens, often develops when they are young, and it can cause aggressive behavior of all kinds. If your vet tells you her thyroid is "low normal," she probably needs medication since low normal is NOT normal for a Golden.
> 
> Good luck!


^ But nothing in that post sounded like aggressive behavior or behavior out of the ordinary for a young golden retriever. :uhoh:


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Megora said:


> ^ But nothing in that post sounded like aggressive behavior or behavior out of the ordinary for a young golden retriever. :uhoh:


I disagree. The first post says:



It'sme said:


> ...About 3 weeks ago she changed, she runs off all the time when off the lead, jumps up at everybody,* fights agressively with other dogs, is hyperactive, and is destroying my home*.


Yes, this can also be common young Golden behavior, but a sudden change may signal a medical problem, perhaps one that is much easier to treat than a true behavioral problem.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

In that same post I read this:



> She gets walked twice a day round the fields and parks near me and has interaction with other dogs and people, despite these walks now being 100% stress and not enjoyable at all to me anymore due to her behaviour. She runs back to the road and has ended up in traffic a couple of times, has made small children cry by jumping up, drawn blood on other dogs through *overly agressive play*, and won't come back if I call her... In fact she doesn't hear a thing I say anymore.


If a dog is allowed to be a dog without any training, then you are going to have increasing behavioral issues - particularly while they are going throught the hormones, as they would be at 6 months. 

Changes in behavior due to thyroid - I believe that does happen, but in reading that original post, I honestly feel it is a case of a dog who has no concept of polite play with other dogs.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Yes, we read the same post. And I agree with you that this could simply be bratty Golden behavior. I have a counter-surfing two-year-old Golden landshark myself, one who is slowly becoming the dog we will enjoy for years to come, so I do recognize the description. 

However, given the sudden change in behavior, especially that involves aggressive behavior towards other dogs that goes to the point of drawing blood, I would have a full thyroid panel done. We are talking about an owner who is thinking of giving up the pup, so a blood test seems like a fairly small step.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

GoldensGirl said:


> However, given the sudden change in behavior, especially that involves aggressive behavior towards other dogs that goes to the point of drawing blood, I would have a full thyroid panel done. We are talking about an owner who is thinking of giving up the pup, so a blood test seems like a fairly small step.


I'm sure.... 

But realistically speaking, I do think that it is very likely that this change was not sudden but has been steadily escalating. From what I remember of the puppy classes that my sister and I assisted at, 5 months was that point where the hormones start checking in. This applied to dogs like rottweilers and gsds who would be coming into their own, but I think it applies to all dogs across the board. Particularly if they are allowed to freely interact with any and every dog. Our instructor at the time was very insistent that puppies be enrolled in classes during and through this period, and she put huge importance on helping the owners recognize the tiny signs that their pups were developing issues that needed to be discouraged before they became big issues. I'm sure she would have flipped her wig if she heard about 5 month old puppies running loose and interacting with anything and everything without any control of the owners.


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## It'sme (Jun 30, 2012)

Well, I'm back with an update.

Thanks to everyone who offered such good, rational advice and messages of support. However, those who like to post to throw their weight around, tell everyone how great they are, and generally bully and put anyone else down - enjoy your goldens, because I imagine friends are few and far between.

Kali is now 16 months old, so 10 months on.

She did grow out of this behaviour more or less on her own. Exercise was the most useful 'medicine', though difficult due to her undesirable and dangerous behaviour off lead. I took to walking her very early in the morning and very late at night so there wasn't anybody else around, gave her very clear but fair boundaries, and taught her to 'be calm', which has been the most useful of all as she of course still has plenty of crazy excited moments and tends to get a bit out of control.

You can see the look of strain on her face as she tries so hard to not jump up at people she knows and is excited to see, but kind of bunny hops up at the same time. It's not such a problem, as these same people have helped me train her not to jump up by turning their back on her if she does it... And really, it's very sweet to watch her so happy.

She is perfect with other animals now, many times people have commented how socialised she is, and she will even look at me for permission before running off to greet other dogs, cats, horses, people, rabbits, squirrels, children etc. so I do have a chance to say 'no' and 'back' to stop her bounding over and intimidating anything which looks like it wouldn't appreciate a bouncey propellor-tailed golden retriever in their face.

She loves mud, bathing in it, throwing it over her head, generally looking like it, and does find the odd poop appetising, but overall she's a great companion and people love her. Having moved to a new area, she's turned into the ultimate ice-breaker to meet new people. We basically meet everybody she encounters, there is no option!

So, thanks again. There are some really nice, genuine, caring people on these forums... And some total and utter bullying horrors. But, that's the internet for you.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Good to hear the positive update.


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## dogloverforlife (Feb 17, 2013)

It'sme said:


> Well, I'm back with an update.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who offered such good, rational advice and messages of support. However, those who like to post to throw their weight around, tell everyone how great they are, and generally bully and put anyone else down - enjoy your goldens, because I imagine friends are few and far between.
> 
> ...


I'm so glad you stuck with her and she is now the dog you were hoping for!


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Itsme*

ITSME

I am so happy to hear things are better!!


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