# My golden is dying....



## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

:no:Amber is only 5. She has been drinking a lot lately, dropped some weight and started coughing on Christmas eve. Took her to the vet and her lungs had some congestion so they gave us an antibiotic and did some bloodwork. They called the next day and to our total and complete shock she is in end stage kidney failure and there is nothing they can do or even try. Her red blood cell count is below 20 and they feel an IV would dilute that even futher. Her creatinine level is 10. I keep reading on the internet about a slow agonizing death. She is my first dog ever. I have never had to deal with a pet in this state before. The vet said they can take her today. I am hysterical. She still wags her tail when she sees someone she likes. How do you get through this? I feel like I would be killing her. But I don't want her to suffer. But I can't even think of doing this today. Or tomorrow. It took so much convincing for my family to get me to get a dog. And this was the reason I did not want. The horror of the end. And she is only 5. This is sooooo hard.


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

Welcome to the forum. I so sorry you had to find us under such sad circumstances. I'm sure your heart will lead you to the right decision. It is very very painful to lose a loving pet. Unfortunately only time will ease the pain you are experiencing though when the time is right another golden puppy will do wonders also.


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## Emma&Tilly (May 15, 2005)

oh I am so sorry, my heart absolutely goes out to you. It is not fair that your golden is going through this at only 5, I can't imagine what it must be like for you. You will know when the time comes to let her go, it is the final and most ultimate act of compassion that you can show to your dog, by ending the suffering...something my vet said to my family when we had our dog pts has always stuck with me, he said it is better to let them go a week too early than one day too late...that is something I will always think about when I have to make a decison like this for myself. 

We are all here for you to come and chat to, most of us have had to deal with this and understand the heartbreak.


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## Ronna (Mar 24, 2007)

I am so sorry regarding your situation. My heart goes out to you and your family. If the diagnosis is not positive then you will find a way to ease the suffering when you are ready. Sometimes the hardest thing is the brave thing to do. I do have tears in my eyes as I write this because I had to to the exact thing in February and it still breaks my heart. Sometimes life makes no sense at all???

Be strong and remember all the great times you have had together.

Ronna
Dallie & Karlie


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## vrocco1 (Feb 25, 2006)

I agree with Emma&Tilly. Please don't let her suffer. My heart goes out to you. I'm sure you will do what is right.


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## Celeigh (Nov 29, 2007)

I am so very sorry you and your Amber are going through this. Most of us understand the heartbreak you are feeling.


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## SimTek (Dec 21, 2007)

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how you are felling and what you are going thru. We just lost our 5 1/2 year old Golden over Thanksgiving weekend for the same thing. She started out not feeling good. Test showed kidney and liver failure. Had to put her to sleep that Monday morning. So quick and so young. Got another Golden puppy for Christmas. Doesn't replace my Gabby, but as one life goes another comes and needs our love also.. Prayers to you and Amber...


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

So sorry to read your post.....you will know when the time is right....


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so very sorry, 5 is much too young to lose them. I know how much it hurts, having just let our mix-breed girl go in November. But be strong for her, and let your love be unselfish, give her the best even when the best thing you can do for her will break your heart. The time may not be today or tomorrow, you will know when.

And we will all be here to listen and help you through it. Too many of us have experienced the loss and sadly understand what you are going through.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

This is heart breaking. I'm so sorry


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

A week too early than a day too late ... that is so profound. That really struck me, E&T, thanks for sharing that.

Videochicke, I'm so sorry this is happening. It seems incomprehensible that she's only 5 and you are facing this decision now. 

I hope you will stay here for support. Big hugs to you as you find your way through this. You must be so heartbroken. I'm so sorry


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I am so sorry. Five is much too young to face such devastating news. I, too, hope you will not let her suffer.... it's the hardest, but most courageous act of love we show our furry friends. It makes me weak in the knees just thinking of it, but remember she loves you with all her heart adn trusts that you will do the right thing. In time, much comfort can be had with another fur baby and we will be here to help you thru....... Please keep us posted... we send prayers for you and sweet Amber. I will light a candle.


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## HovawartMom (Aug 10, 2006)

I really don't know what to say!.I'm so sorry you have to go through this!.
Prayers going yr way!.


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## Luvinmygoldens (Jul 16, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your family. I have also been where you are, having to make the decision to let them go. Having to say "today's the day". It's devastating. My thoughts are with you and your family, and your precious pup.


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## Dslats (Mar 1, 2007)

I'm so sorry. you will know the right time in your heart. I too agree with emma & tilly. please keep us updated and know that we are all here for you. give Amber a big hug from us. praying for you all.

Debbie & mason


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I lit a candle for Amber...... maybe others would like to do so also.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=GRF


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

*Thank you all*

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. She is resting comfortably on the couch for now, and keeps giving you one of those golden swats when you stop petting her. But it is a feeble swat at best. I cannot stop crying. I cannot eat. She was running around just a few days ago. I don't understand. I just don't understand.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Do they know what could cause such a thing in a young dog?


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

I wish I could do something, what a truly awful place you must be in right now.

We're here, whenever you need.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Candle is a great idea...


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

I'm a little annoyed another mod unstickied my thread for the candles- that was meant to stay up forever, for ANYTHING that happened. Now I can't find it...


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

My husband is outside digging a big hole. And the dog is now outside watching him. I am going to go out of my mind. Looks like the scene from a holocaust documentary where people saw their own graves being dug. Why does he have to do that now??? Pet her. It is not the time to bury her yet.


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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

My heart breaks for you. Sometimes life seems so unfair. Amber was brought into your life for a reason and this task you must do for her is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. I also have been through losing a dog way too soon and the pain is terrible. In my short time on this forum I have learned that it is a wonderful place to find support and advice. My prayers are with you both.


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## vrocco1 (Feb 25, 2006)

OMG That is so sad. I feel so bad for you.


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

This happened to our Kimo almost 4 years ago... at the time we couldn't tell his water intake and urination had increased since he could also drink water from a pond outside and come and go as he pleased. It came as a total surprise to us... though my wife had some inkling that something just didn't seem right in the previous week. By the time we definitely knew something was wrong it was already too late. We tried to get a hold of a vet on Saturday evening when Kimo refused to eat anything and couldn't hold anything (water) down... after much researching and calling around we finally rushed him to an emergency vet clinic 100-miles away. They put him on an IV but all the vets and vet techs there were very young (early twenties) and didn't explain much about how serious his condition really was. I had to do much more research on my own to learn that when a dog reaches this point over 80% of his kidney function is destroyed and he is quite miserable as the 'toxic wastes' circulate through his system. There is no cure and no getting better, only you can help ease the pain and suffering... on Monday morning I gave them the 'word' and it was devastating, however I KNEW it was the best thing for Kimo. Please don't take too long coming to grips with this thing, your dog is suffering every single moment. Just know that others of us have been right where you are now and now you must do what is best for your dog. When its all over it will hurt for quite awhile, but know this, the hurt will go away in time and then you will be glad you made the decision earlier rather than later. Be strong.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Here it is http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter2.cfm?l=eng


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

My candle is burning for Amber and her family. I'm so sorry for what you all are going throught, especially with one so young. As others have said, letting her go will be gut-wrenching, but Amber trusts you to do the right thing for her, even if that thing breaks your heart. It is, in my opinion, the ultimate act of love. Please let Amber go when the time is right.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

Watching your husband dig, that must be shocking indeed. Perhaps that is his way of coming to grips with this?


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

monomer said:


> This happened to our Kimo almost 4 years ago... at the time we couldn't tell his water intake and urination had increased since he could also drink water from a pond outside and come and go as he pleased. It came as a total surprise to us... though my wife had some inkling that something just didn't seem right in the previous week. By the time we definitely knew something was wrong it was already too late. We tried to get a hold of a vet on Saturday evening when Kimo refused to eat anything and couldn't hold anything (water) down... after much researching and calling around we finally rushed him to an emergency vet clinic 100-miles away. They put him on an IV but all the vets and vet techs there were very young (early twenties) and didn't explain much about how serious his condition really was. I had to do much more research on my own to learn that when a dog reaches this point over 80% of his kidney function is destroyed and he is quite miserable as the 'toxic wastes' circulate through his system. There is no cure and no getting better, only you can help ease the pain and suffering... on Monday morning I gave them the 'word' and it was devastating, however I KNEW it was the best thing for Kimo. Please don't take too long coming to grips with this thing, your dog is suffering every single moment. Just know that others of us have been right where you are now and now you must do what is best for your dog. When its all over it will hurt for quite awhile, but know this, the hurt will go away in time and then you will be glad you made the decision earlier rather than later. Be strong.


 
This is all very difficult to reconcile, I know, but Monomer's words are true. Don't let your Amber suffer. Goldens have incredible heart and rearely let us know how badly they are suffering until it is truly too late. The decision that you must make is the most painful for you, but the greatest gift of love that you will ever give your girl.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Penny & Maggie's Mom said:


> I lit a candle for Amber...... maybe others would like to do so also.
> 
> http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=GRF


 
JENNA .here's your link. I had saved it since I thought it so important.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I am so very sorry you are losing you girl. I hvae lost many dogs in my 51 years of owning them, but only twice have i had to make the decision you are facing and as hard as it is, we have to do it for our beloved dogs when they are suffering and nothing can be done for them. Bless your sweet girl.


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## Jazz & Jules (Feb 25, 2007)

It was only 2 weeks ago that I helped my Artie through her final passage.

Nothing easy about it, but looking back, through the tears and still very raw pain left inside of me, I KNOW I made the right decision.

The 'process', while being the most painful thing I think I have ever done in my life, was also very peaceful.

Amber is living for you right now. She can't recover from her situation. These are the facts. I know, it doesn't make it any easier, but know you have the support of many here.

Take a couple days to tell her how much you love her. Light a special candle at home for Amber. Look at her face through that candle light and really really see her. Share that candle time with her. Then later, when you light that candle again, I promise you, you will see her beautiful face looking back at you with sparkling, happy, healthy eyes.


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## Lisa_and_Willow. (Dec 18, 2007)

This is so heartbreaking. I know how hard it is to let go of a dog at any age but when one is so young you must feel cheated out of the time you should have together. 

My terrier Lucky was 13 when her liver started failing. She was my first dog too. I knew it wouldn't be long before I had to say goodbye but like you I was torn apart by having to make this choice. I felt like screaming at people 'How can I kill my best friend?' But I watched her fade and had people tell me that she would let me know when she felt like it was her time. 

And I believe that she did. Although her tail still wagged I felt she was just trying to keep me happy. One day I looked into her eyes and saw she looked tired. I realised then that I wasn't 'killing' her by having her put to sleep but saving her from the suffering she would have had. 

I took care of her death the same way I took care of her life. With all my heart and soul. She was my responsability and I had to give her the peace she deserved.

I am sorry my post was long but your words made me think back to that time only a few short months ago. I wish you the very best of luck and strength needed to help Amber.


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## davebeech (Feb 11, 2006)

I only wish I could offer the words you want to hear, but you need to be strong for Amber, you mustn't let her suffer, Amber loves you very much and has all her trust in you.


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## goldenshasta (Dec 1, 2007)

My heart is so sad for you and your family. I walked this path this summer with my sweet Dusty. In the end I had to let her go because she was in pain and suffering. I am sending my prayers to you and your Amber. I will light a candle too.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

I am so sorry that you are having to face this especially as Amber is still a young dog. You will know when the time is right, but it won't make it any easier. All you can do is to hold her close and tell her that you love her. My thoughts are with you

IF IT SHOULD BE THAT I GROW WEAK
AND PAIN DOES KEEP ME FROM MY SLEEP THEN YOU MUST DO WHAT MUST BE DONE
FOR THIS LAST BATTLE CAN'T BE WON
YOU WILL BE SAD, I UNDERSTAND
DON'T LET YOUR GRIEF STAY YOUR HAND
FOR THIS DAY MORE THAN ALL THE REST
YOUR LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP STAND THE TEST
WE'VE HAD SO MANY HAPPY YEARS
WHAT IS TO COME WILL HOLD NO FEARS
YOU'LL NOT WANT ME TO SUUFER, SO
WHEN THE TIME COMES PLEASE LET ME GO
I KNOW IN TIME THAT YOU WILL SEE
IT IS A KINDNESS YOU DO ME,
ALTHOUGH MY TAIL IT'S LAST HAS WAVED
FROM PAIN AND SUFFERING I'VE BEEN SAVED
DO NOT GRIEVE THAT IT SHOULD BE YOU
WHO HAS TO DECIDE THIS THING TO DO
WE'VE BEEN SO CLOSE, WE TWO, THESE YEARS,
DON'T LET YOUR HEART HOLD ANY TEARS


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## photoweborama (Dec 6, 2007)

Sorry to hear that. I had to put two dogs to sleep in the past year. One was really old that our friends gave us because they had to move, so we were expecting that.

The other one was my favorite dog, Misty. A blue merle Sheltie. I just loved her so much, but she all of a sudden had a heart attack and we had to put her to sleep the next day.

I do feel your pain, but I have to say, my new Golden, Bo has really helped my get past my pain. My wife says he is my "therapy dog".


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Amber still seems comfortable and still wants scratches. My sister and her kids came over to see her. Amber wagged her tail like crazy. A part of me will go with her when she dies.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

Oh I am SO sorry! It sounds like you are doing the right things, please know how bad we feel for you...


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## Penny'smom (Mar 3, 2007)

I've had to make the decision for a couple of dogs and horses. Most recently, our dd had to make the decision for her Thoroughbred who she'd had for 14 years. 

These things are never a question of 'if'...only a matter of 'when'. She decided he was in too much pain from arthritis which would never get better. How much pain is too much pain? We don't know, but we knew he'd have more and more pain. She let him go on a beautiful late fall day while he could still stand and walk. It was terribly hard for her and for me. I miss him, he was always such a gentleman. In another life, he was an English butler.

So, as hard as it is, we all know and feel your pain. I have tears for you and Amber and hope you find a way to get through this nightmare.

Hugs to you and Amber from Penny and me.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart is breaking for you. I too had to make the heart breaking decision to let my first golden boy go. I didn't know how I would ever know when it was "time" but Kody let me know in his own way when it was time to say our final goodbye. I will send up a little prayer for you, your sweet girl Amber, and your family as you travel this difficult road.


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## GoldenDaisy (Jul 16, 2007)

I am so sorry you are losing your Amber girl. You will know when the time is right, I know everyone says that but I think you will see it. I know your pain I lost my girl to cancer in April (we had to put her to sleep) we found out at the end of March she was in the last stages of the cancer and we knew she was suffering. My Daisy was only 3 1/2, she was also my first Golden. It is so hard to have to make that decision especially when they are young, but I remember what the vet tech and the vet told me before we said our goodbyes was that the greatest sacrifice we can make for them is to take away their pain, we will endure the pain greatly so they will no longer suffer. I have lit a candle for Amber. Your family is in our prayers tonight, Give Amber lots of extra hugs and kisses. Take care.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I am so sorry. Very, very sorry.


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

Amber will let you know when its time. My Flirt died from Lymphoma at the age of 4 1/2 and she was also in end stage renal failure, which is ultimately what killed her. She let me know the day it was time for her to leave me. She couldn't walk well and went out to her dog run and lay down in the corner - something she never did. I knew it was time. My thoughts, prayers and tears are with you. Give your precious Amber a big hug and take that shovel out of hubbies hands! Tell him, for Heaven's sake that Amber needs him now!

Hugs
Jazzys Mom


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

How do I get past the feeling I would be killing her? I don't kill bugs. I take them outside. When I was a kid, we would get these little ants in the bathroom a certain time of year and I felt bad they were so little so I fed them sugar. We had a mouse in our house and I put food in a brown bag so he would go in and I could take him outside. Logic on one hand knows I would be helping her. And the other part of me is screaming "murderer!" I feel like I am being torn in two. I do not want her to suffer. And I do not want to kill her.


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

This is the hardest decision a pet owner has to make. You are not killing her - the renal failure is. You are making her passing, which is inevitable, easier. When we are owned by dogs, we have to do what is right for them, not what is right for us. We can't keep an animal in pain alive simply to ease our own pain. If your pet is suffering, you must do the right thing and release her from pain.

My sympathies are with you during this difficult time. . .


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

videochicke said:


> How do I get past the feeling I would be killing her? I don't kill bugs. I take them outside. When I was a kid, we would get these little ants in the bathroom a certain time of year and I felt bad they were so little so I fed them sugar. We had a mouse in our house and I put food in a brown bag so he would go in and I could take him outside. Logic on one hand knows I would be helping her. And the other part of me is screaming "murderer!" I feel like I am being torn in two. I do not want her to suffer. And I do not want to kill her.


You have to let go of the idea that you are killing her. You are helping her. You are keeping her from dying a horribly painful death. You are being her caretaker and making sure that you are taking care of her. It's not easy being in that position. But you are, and you are doing the right thing by her. Take a day or 2 if she is not suffering. Tell her you love her. Give her everything that you think you can give her to make her happy. I cooked a steak the night before I had my Tess put to sleep. She ate some of it, which was good since she was dying of cancer. I had a week to make sure she knew how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I made the most of it. And then I let her go before she was in too much pain. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))


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## Linus4ever (Apr 18, 2007)

I dealt with the same feelings when we had to put our cockapoo down last labor day. I did not want to have to do it, but in the end there came one day that I knew this was what had to be done. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I knew it had to be done. Just know the most comfort comes from you and knowing you went at just the right time, trust yourself and you will know when enough is enough. 

Hugs from Linus, Baroo, Duddley and their family


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## Old Gold Mum2001 (Feb 25, 2007)

So sorry to hear you are going thru this, truly heartbreaking  You're in our thoughts and prayers.

All I can offer is an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, arms for a hug, and the experience of "having to do the right thing".

We are all here for you, prayers of strength.


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

If you do a search on renal failure, you will see that by the time the symptoms you are now observing become apparent the dog's kidneys can no longer function as over 80% has been destroyed. So the toxic wastes produced by the body can no longer be filtered out of the blood quick enough by the kidneys and this is causing terrible feelings of sickness and nausea in your dog. If dogs were people, they could go through hours on a dialysis machine a couple of times a week to mechanically filter out those waste products from the blood... but unfortunately, except for a very few (also mega-rich), kidney dialysis is NOT routinely available for dogs. People who receive dialysis on a regular basis tell stories of just how horribly sick they become after 3 or 4 days before they get the dialysis done... please don't put this off for too long. There is a point where the misery of just staying alive can be so great as to make death a welcoming experience... Amber will die of kidney failure shortly, there is no question of this, however just how much she will have to suffer before the end is up to you. No, its not easy but if you wait too long, I can tell you this, you will never forgive yourself for having waited so long.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Also remember that they don't have the forethought of what is going to happen..... no fear of death. To them it's like going for vaccinations or another trip due to the illness. What they will pick up on is your emotional state, so try to put forth all the love you have for her.... it will be comforting to you both. We're praying for you and your family in this difficult time.


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

Penny & Maggie's Mom said:


> Also remember that they don't have the forethought of what is going to happen..... no fear of death. To them it's like going for vaccinations or another trip due to the illness. *What they will pick up on is your emotional state*, so try to put forth all the love you have for her.... it will be comforting to you both. We're praying for you and your family in this difficult time.


P&MM... I was just going to add that to my post... 
Yes, they will get their fear from you or draw strength from you... that's why its so very important that you be very strong and fearless in this, its the best you can do for Amber at this point.


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## Big Mamoo (Jul 4, 2007)

I have had to send two babies to the Bridge due to cancer. Even though it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do it was also *the most loving thing I could have done* *for them.* The pain of loss gets better. The great memories replace alot of the hurt. Then you find that special new furbaby or rescue that begins the journey all over again. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Mark


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## Chaucer and Mom (Feb 26, 2007)

I'm so sorry. I know how incredibly difficult this time is. When I helped Webster go to the bridge two years ago, I did everything I could to stay calm for him. I held him in my arms, kissed him, thanked him for all the happiness he had brought me and tried really hard not to cry. I wanted his passage to be as easy as possible. My only regret is that I kept him a day too long on the earth.

My heart goes out to you. But put your love first. Amber has all her trust in you.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

The vet is closed on sunday and tuesday so my guess is Monday could be her last day ever. Then what? Does she just cease to exist? When I say goodbye is it forever? Not a question anyone can answer. I do not see another dog in our future. The hurt is too bad and the decision too hard. A dog needs an owner with more strength than I have. I never was even able to take her for her shots. Passed out the first time so my husband has been the one to take her to the vet. My chest hurts so bad from all the crying. My poor Amber. Too much hurt to bear this last year. My best friend died from breast cancer. She was just 34. Spent two weeks with her in the hospital and one week at home. Watched my uncle die a couple of months after that. Then Lyme disease for me followed by my daughter whose tick not only had Lyme but Rocky Mountain spotted fever. Amber always listened, and always let me have a good cry as long as I pet her and pet her. She has kind of been my sanity this last year. This should not be happening to her yet. She is too young. Sorry if I keep rambling. I have had to be strong so often this last year. This has just pushed me over the edge.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

I believe that we need to be with our beloved dogs when they leave us, and have held each and every one of my dogs in my arms as they have sighed their last breath. It is heartbreaking, and physically painful, but the most selfless gift of love that we can give them if it means an end to their suffering. 
They love us and trust us, and need us with them when they leave. They take a piece of our heart, and will be whole and healthy and watching us from heaven. That hole in our hearts is meant to be filled. Never replaced, but filled, with the love of and for another.


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## jm2319 (Dec 14, 2007)

I'm so sorry for all you've been through this past year and now for this extremely difficult time with Amber. It is heartbreaking. Try to find your strength from the love you have for Amber. She knows you love her. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

Pointgold said:


> I believe that we need to be with our beloved dogs when they leave us, and have held each and every one of my dogs in my arms as they have sighed their last breath. It is heartbreaking, and physically painful, but the most selfless gift of love that we can give them if it means an end to their suffering.
> They love us and trust us, and need us with them when they leave. They take a piece of our heart, and will be whole and healthy and watching us from heaven. That hole in our hearts is meant to be filled. Never replaced, but filled, with the love of and for another.


Very well said, all of it.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

videochicke said:


> How do I get past the feeling I would be killing her? I don't kill bugs. I take them outside. When I was a kid, we would get these little ants in the bathroom a certain time of year and I felt bad they were so little so I fed them sugar. We had a mouse in our house and I put food in a brown bag so he would go in and I could take him outside. Logic on one hand knows I would be helping her. And the other part of me is screaming "murderer!" I feel like I am being torn in two. I do not want her to suffer. And I do not want to kill her.


Please do not feel you are killing her. You are giving her the greatest gift that a person can do for their loved one. You are putting her out or her pain and misery. She will always be with you in your memories and pictures. She will be your guardian angel watching over you and there will be times you will feel her litle nose touch you when you need it most. She is counting on you to do the right thing. We are their caretakers and we have to take care of them from beginning to the end. I too have been thru alot of death and pain in the last two years but I know that my poor Beau that is having lots of problems will have a peaceful death when the time comes. That is my gift to him for all the unconditional love that he has given me over the years. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I will light a candle for Amber and your family.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I believe that all those love ones ( people and pets ) stay with us when we lose them....... they take a part of us and leave us with a part of them. And we are much better for having them in our lives. It is true that we only know such deep, profound love and happiness by also experiencing the flip side of pain and heartache. Your memories will always be with you and as time goes on, the pain lessens and is filled more and more with the happy memories you have of your time together. Amber would want you to fill the hole in your heart when the time is right....... you will never replace her, but honor her with another fur baby. For now, know that we are praying for you and Amber.


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## Hali's Mom (Oct 5, 2006)

Having done this twice, you will know when it is time, Amber's eyes will tell you. Since you have had her 5 years I am sure you will recognize when she is feeling pain and will know it is time. No, It is not easy, and yes it is the best thing we can do for our devoted friend. Thankfully we are able to let our dear pets cross the bridge when they are suffering. This is something the laws do not allow us to do for our humans who are suffering as well. Please make sure you go in with her when it is time to say goodbye. You will see that the pets do not suffer and simply pass onto the next life by going to sleep with you petting them and giving them the love that they are so used to. You will be letting her go and no longer suffering though you will feel a loss as I am sure we can all atest to. When the time is right you will add a new friend to your family to fill the void and Amber will be looking over your family and wagging her tail as she will no longer be in pain and will be happy to know that you are no longer in pain as well. Wishing you the best, I know it is very difficult.And you are right, it's not fair.


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## Michelle4 (Dec 1, 2007)

So sorry. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. My thoughts are with you.


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

I know you said that you will never have another dog because of the pain involved with losing one but I have to tell you that the best thing I did after losing my beloved Arby was to go out and find Oakly. He kept me so busy and entertained it was as if he knew what his mission in life was. Since no two dogs are alike I never once felt I was making a comparison between the new and old. Even golden puppies have broad shoulders to cry on. They understand more than we will ever know.


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## Phoebe (Feb 8, 2006)

You have clearly had an extremely rough year and I bet Amber has been a comfort to you through it all. As hard as it is, I know you will make the right decision for Amber and I hope that in time, you will consider getting another dog. It hurts right now, but it sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with Amber and you can have that again. It was two years after my Lucy died before I committed to getting another golden...I'm sorry I waited so long. Phoebe doesn't replace Lucy, but she brings her own special magic into the house, I hadn't realized how empty the house was without a golden in it. 

I'm lighting a candle and saying a prayer for you and Amber. I'm so very sorry that you are going through this.

Hugs,

Jan, Seamus, Gracie, Phoebe & Duke


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

I really don't know what to say but sorry you have to go through this, I'm sure you will make the right decision, I know it's hard, but don't let her suffer. Prayers are with you and Amber.


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## Chaucer and Mom (Feb 26, 2007)

I know how hard it is to think of losing Amber. I used to tell Webster he could never die because I loved him so much. But his misery was so great that the best thing I could do for him was to let him go gently in his own home in his favorite spot. I found a traveling vet who was willing to come to the house to help him pass over.

Thoughts are with you.


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## Celeigh (Nov 29, 2007)

videochicke said:


> The vet is closed on sunday and tuesday so my guess is Monday could be her last day ever. Then what? Does she just cease to exist? When I say goodbye is it forever? Not a question anyone can answer.


Brother Christopher, one of the Monks of New Skete that raise German Shepard Dogs, said that the one question he is most often asked is whether dogs have souls and go to heaven. His answer is, "Yes absolutely! What would heaven be like without dogs?" I don't know how a creature capable of so much unconditional love would deserve anything less. I know that all my dogs will be waiting for me when the time comes. All of them with tennis balls in their mouths waiting patiently to play.


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## sophiesadiehannah's mom (Feb 11, 2007)

my rescue dog liza died at approximately 10 years old from the same thing, she was at the vets to see why she was drinking so much, i figured probably diabetes like my other golden had, the vet called in the pm and told us her kidneys were going and there was nothing that could be done. my husband met me at the vets office, we spent some time with her and then let her go to the rainbow bridge. she sure was a good companion, but there was nothing we could do at this point. she is running around in heaven with no pain and is happy.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I hung onto my first irish setter to long. He had a spinal infection and we were trying all kinds of antibiotics and none were working. He wouldn't even get u p or walk and finally the m orning came he vomited yellow foam and couldn't even lift h is head up out of it. I cleaned him and we took him to the vet for the last time. At the time i also felt like i was killing him, maybe one more antibiotic would do the trick. But I came to realize he was in such misery and I would have been keeping him for myself. I did the right thing. And I swore i would never let a dog go that long again.

Almost 13 years later my 12 1/2 year old irish was diagnosee with bone cancer. I had him exactly 10 wqeeks to the day and i took him fishing every day and he would chase crabs in the shallow water, swim, even pounced on and killed an undersize flouder I caught. He had a sweet tooth, loved fruits and veggies and for that 10 week s (which was MUCH longer than my vet thought he would be with us) he had what we had for dessert--strawberry shortcake, banana split, apple pie with whipped cream, chocolate cake, etc . Also all athe fruit and tossed salad he wanted. 

He could only bunny hop with that rear leg, couldn't bend his knee. Ten weeks to the day later it was in his shoulder, same side and i gave him a big dish of ice cream and took him for h is final trip to the vet. I could have had him a few more days, but I let him go before pain got bad, and he had been fishing with me the day before, fun til the end. I have not regretted it at all, never felt like I killed h8im. I saved him suffering and misery. He is burned out by our duck blind--he never was a duck dog, but he loved the water.

And I can never be without a dog. Losing them is so very painful--I lost my 12 1/2 year old golden boy, Buck, back on May 15. Lost my 54 year 2 month old golden boy, Hunt4 (my avatar) t0 fatal reaction to proHeart6 heartowmr preventative injection (which the FDA had them pull 10 months after Hunter;'s death due to so many deaths and reasctions. And I have 2 golden girls. 

The pain of losing them is awful, but for me, my life would painful without a dog in it. I hope you can come to feel the need for another dog to love, to love you.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so very, very sorry...


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## super_nova (Dec 9, 2007)

Words escape me, I am so very sorry for your pain and Amber's.


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## Sunny Delight (Mar 10, 2007)

videochicke said:


> The vet is closed on sunday and tuesday so my guess is Monday could be her last day ever. Then what? Does she just cease to exist? When I say goodbye is it forever? Not a question anyone can answer. I do not see another dog in our future. The hurt is too bad and the decision too hard. A dog needs an owner with more strength than I have. I never was even able to take her for her shots. Passed out the first time so my husband has been the one to take her to the vet. My chest hurts so bad from all the crying. My poor Amber. Too much hurt to bear this last year. My best friend died from breast cancer. She was just 34. Spent two weeks with her in the hospital and one week at home. Watched my uncle die a couple of months after that. Then Lyme disease for me followed by my daughter whose tick not only had Lyme but Rocky Mountain spotted fever. Amber always listened, and always let me have a good cry as long as I pet her and pet her. She has kind of been my sanity this last year. This should not be happening to her yet. She is too young. Sorry if I keep rambling. I have had to be strong so often this last year. This has just pushed me over the edge.


Perhaps Amber's purpose here in her short time on earth was to help you through these tough times. Now she is done and must move on to be someone else's "angel". I read a book called "The Angel by my Side" about a golden like that. This dog literally saved his owners life many times, but then got cancer and didn't make it. An animal communicator determined the dog was an angel in a dog's body. 

I have to cling to some sort of hope when a life is taken too soon (or what seems too soon to those left behind). I have to believe that that life had a purpose her on earth. 

You will get through this and the pain will gradually fade. You will always have the wonderful memories, and also the thoughts of how she helped you through such a rough year. It seems that it is too soon for you to think about another dog, but you may feel differently in a while. If Amber is really an angel, maybe she could help you know when? And everyone who's said you'll know when it's time are right. The killing feeling will be replaced by the knowledge that you are removing her pain. 

I wish you all the best with the gut-wrenching decision and with your feelings afterwards. We'll still all be here for you.


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## Griffyn'sMom (Mar 22, 2007)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. As far as your husband doing the digging right now - it is his way of coming to terms with reality. Men and Women are very different in the way things are handled but be assured that you will cry together soon. 

Feel free to pour out your thoughts here - we are supportive and understanding as many have been through this and know your feelings.

Your love for Amber is so strong that I feel in my heart that there WILL be another dog for you in the future but for now you must do what is best for her and let her go.

I am one that couldn't let my dog go soon enough and I still regret it. I waited until his tail stopped wagging completely. A Golden will always put their best face forward and when you see them falter, they are usually much worse than you realize.

Thoughts are with you in these final days.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Griffyn'sMom said:


> I'm so sorry you are going through this. As far as your husband doing the digging right now - it is his way of coming to terms with reality. Men and Women are very different in the way things are handled but be assured that you will cry together soon.
> 
> Feel free to pour out your thoughts here - we are supportive and understanding as many have been through this and know your feelings.
> 
> ...


This is so true. The worst part about loving these wonderful dogs is losing them, and it is always too soon. And believe me, it never gets any easier. Every time we have lost one I say "I am never doing this again, it hurts too much." Then I think about the joy that we get when we have them and it is harder to think about EVER having them, even for the relatively short time that we do.

Griffyn's Mom, I am sorry that you are feeling guilt for waiting... I know this, too, as I allowed our Dave to go too long, because my husabnd was so in denial about how bad he really was. Dave was his "third son" and his heart was breaking - he'd never had a dog for so long (14 years) and the thought of him leaving us was too much. We miss him so, but are starting to remember him with laughter mixed with our tears.

This forum is a community that knows the depth of feelings associated with having pets in our lives, and we grieve together.


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## MaddieMagoo (Aug 14, 2007)

I'm very sorry that this is happening to your dog...I feel your pain. This forum is very good and I'm sure everyone will do something for you and your dog...I'm so sorry to hear this...wish I could help in some way!


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Amber looks quite comfortable right now. She coughed a bit during the night, but went outside this morning for a bit then climbed up onto the couch where she likes to sleep. I always knew the end would be a hard thing but has been much worse than I ever imagined. The house will be so different without her. Nothing is happier to see you when you come home than a Golden. They just live to love! I guess some holes in your heart never get filled for some reason or other. I think mine is starting to look like swiss cheese. Thank you all for your wonderful posts. You all so understand all of this.


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## THE HONEY WOLVES (Jun 9, 2007)

I tried to post something yesterday but it didnt go through - these types of threads reach us all the most to the heart- 

I know how agonizing this situation is - we had to put our Katie down last year-

My prayers are with you - and my heart breaks for you


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## Taz Monkey (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so sorry. 4 years ago when I had to have my 4 month old kitten put to sleep, many years before his time, someone sent me this poem.
http://www.oes.org/page2/8647~You_have_chosen_tears_-_poem.html
It really made me understand the love we have for animals and why we choose to have them in our lives, even though its inevitable that they will leave this earth before we do. Hugs to you and your family and Amber. Just remember that its not a rule that you have to have a golden to come here. The people here are a great source of strength and will help you get through this


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## arcane (Sep 18, 2007)

Pointgold said:


> This is so true. The worst part about loving these wonderful dogs is losing them, and it is always too soon. And believe me, it never gets any easier. Every time we have lost one I say "I am never doing this again, it hurts too much." Then I think about the joy that we get when we have them and it is harder to think about EVER having them, even for the relatively short time that we do.
> 
> Griffyn's Mom, I am sorry that you are feeling guilt for waiting... I know this, too, as I allowed our Dave to go too long, because my husabnd was so in denial about how bad he really was. Dave was his "third son" and his heart was breaking - he'd never had a dog for so long (14 years) and the thought of him leaving us was too much. We miss him so, but are starting to remember him with laughter mixed with our tears.
> 
> This forum is a community that knows the depth of feelings associated with having pets in our lives, and we grieve together.


I am so very sorry you are going through this ...I truly know about losing one much too soon...we lost Fallon this Nov bringing her wonderful babies into this world...she was only 3.5 yrs old, I didn't know that that last drive to the vet would be her last one, I didn't know when i left her shortly before noon, that it would be that last time i would stroke her fur or see her smiling face, I bred her, I put her through this and at first, I too felt I had contributed to her death...I ached for the first few weeks, crying almost constantly, but I had a job to do...I had to raise her babies, thankfully I had them to keep me from losing my mind...I mean I "KNOW" what that feels like ...please be kind to yourself, let yourself grieve, but be kind to Amber, her eyes will tell you...cut a lock of her fur, take many pics, hold her and tell her how much you love her, then let her go when its too much for her body to endure...she will always be with you in spirit ...

and come here and we shall comfort you...this forum saved me in my grief, there are wonderful people here who can empathize with you and get you though the worst days of your life...again my heart goes out to you, I am so very very sorry....


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Eveyone has already said what is right. There is no way that you will be killing her - you will be giving her the final act of true love - by letting her go peacefully. Nothing will ever be the same again, but she will still exist - in your heart and in your memories of her. Nothing will ever erase or replace those. Even if you decide to have another dog it does not mean that you have forgotten your Amber or even that you have replaced her - it just means that you have a little more piece of love in heart to give to another. I have lost three goldies now, and each time i have said that's it, no more because i cannot stand the pain - but i could not carry on living without my dogs. You are both in my thoughts. Sending you some hugs at this very hard time


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

Videochicke ---- A few posts back you asked if when Amber leaves you is this all there is. 

My opinion is emphatically NO. I'll never forget what my wonderful vet said to me when I knew my Flirt was losing her battle with renal failure and lymphoma. I asked him if he thought dogs would be in heaven and he said, 

"God can do anything and I don't see any reason whatsoever that God will not re-create Flirty molecule by molecule to live forever with you in Heaven. After all, God knows the desires of your heart."

In the Bible it talks about there being horses in heaven, so why not dogs and all other animals. It says the little child will lie down with the lion and the sheep. So there will be lions and sheep, why not dogs? 

Yes, I fully believe you will see Amber again with one difference -- she will be whole and running like a puppy to meet you!

Jazzys Mom


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

My seven year old son lost his best pal this year to kidney disease. He was a big orange cat named Woody and he was with us for my sons entire life. I'm telling you the two of them had the strongest bond I'd ever seen between an animal and a kid. It was the saddest day of his young life when we lost him. My heart broke seeing him in so much pain, but eventually he came out of it. When we brought Scout home he was in love all over again and smiling like he used to smile with Woody. There are still days when he says things like, Mom remember when Woody did this? Or, Mom I miss Woody. Then one day when he was cuddling Scout on the floor and she was sleeping in his arms he says Mom, do you think Woody and God sent us Scout? She is such a good dog, I love her so much. Thank you Woody.


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## Bailey & Bentley (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. Nothing can ever prepare us for the loss of our pets. No matter how old they are, or how sick they are, we never want to let them go. Just remember the wonderful life you have given to her. Keep the memories of your times together with you for the rest of you life and remember that death is a part of life. Unfortunatley, it happens to all creatures at some point. I hope this forum can bring you some comfort and help you to get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hang in there.

You are sparing her a painful death, so don't feel guilty that you are doing this. She will thank you for not letting her suffer....


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

heartofgold said:


> My seven year old son lost his best pal this year to kidney disease. He was a big orange cat named Woody and he was with us for my sons entire life. I'm telling you the two of them had the strongest bond I'd ever seen between an animal and a kid. It was the saddest day of his young life when we lost him. My heart broke seeing him in so much pain, but eventually he came out of it. When we brought Scout home he was in love all over again and smiling like he used to smile with Woody. There are still days when he says things like, Mom remember when Woody did this? Or, Mom I miss Woody. Then one day when he was cuddling Scout on the floor and she was sleeping in his arms he says Mom, do you think Woody and God sent us Scout? She is such a good dog, I love her so much. Thank you Woody.


Out of the mouths of babes..........


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

I have been reading up on kidney failure. And trying to figure out when this all began. One thing that is mentioned is as kidneys fail, the urine becomes more dilute as they are not filtering out the waste. I was just looking outside at the yard. And something is wrong. There are no burnt out grass spots from where she peed. In fact looking back, the grass looked good all summer. She also never got her winter coat. But I think the first sign we had was the nice green grass with no burnt spots. Not sure if it really was a sign of things starting to go wrong, but I think it was. And I just wanted to share that in case any of your goldens stop leaving those little circles one day, maybe what Amber is going through can save them. Dog's kidneys can also be damaged by grapes and raisens and raw dough. Several sites also mention dogs kidneys do not do well in general with clorinated water. Since kidney failure is a major killer of dogs, a routine bloodtest to check creatinine levels could catch things before it is too late.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

My first golden, Casey, had renal disease. Our vet said that by the time symptoms appear, more than 2/3 of kidney function is gone. Casey lived for 18 months, with a low-protein, homemade diet, medication and sub-cutaneous fluids every few days (eventually every day). He was so mellow he would fall asleep as we gave him his fluids. The first notion we had that something wasn't right was dilute urine, as well.


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## RickGibbs (Dec 16, 2005)

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.... We had to make the same decision for Buddy, our miniature dachshund two years ago and there's just nothing that makes it better..

My sister-in-law convinced us to get Samson, for the sake of the kids... And really, Samson helped us get through some tough times. Little things he'd do reminded us of Buddy and would make us laugh....

With Buddy, looking back, the good times far outweigh the end. I think that's important to realize...


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Another day begins and oddly Amber looks increasingly more comfortable. Her tail is wagging more and she sleeps alot very comfortably. Had a dream we took her to the vet and they gave her the poison and her body couldn't process it right and she was thrashing around in pain from it making her between here and there and looked so scared and so much time went by before they could make it happen. It felt so real it really freaked me out.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Hope the picture showed up. This is Amber camping last year. My dad is holding her. My husband is behind him and my youngest daughter is on the far right. She is in mid wag at the site of my mother. Walking on the rocks at Knoebels always bothered her paws, so we got her doggy boots. Everyone we passed smiled and stopped us and many took pictures of "the dog with the shoes". Knoebels is a great place for a vacation with your dog if you like amusement parks and camping. Dogs are allowed in the park and there is no admission. You pay for the rides you go on or buy a ride bracelet. Dogs are even allowed on the Ferris Wheel, train ride and antique cars.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

She is GORGEOUS!!!


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## Dslats (Mar 1, 2007)

amber is so pretty!!! I've been reading all the post here and I think you will know when it's amber's time to go. she WILL let you know. amber's lucky to have such a loving family......... 

Debbie & mason


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Amber is beautiful.

My first dog I held on to for a week too long with renal failure, even though he was seventeen. I was holding on to false hope. I vowed I would never wait that long again to PTS. That was almost 20 years ago.

I have had to make the decision 5 more times with my cats and dogs. As painful as those decisions were, the love these pets brought to my life made the pain all worth it. One of them was an eight year old cat that had renal failure. I was told that sometimes it is something that they are born with (Corduroy always had bad breath, but I never thought anything of it). 

I just put my Goliath to sleep in August from old age. The day I made the decision, was the right day. He was the first one that I actually stayed with when he went to the bridge. I never thought I would be strong enough, but it really helped me in the healing process. 

The injection actually makes them fall asleep. I'll never forget Goliath snoring, and then his heart gradually stopped. It was very peaceful and I knew that I was the last face he saw.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Amber.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

That is a very sweet picture of Amber. I love her little shoes. She is very styling. Sounds like she is not quite ready to give up yet.


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## AmbikaGR (Dec 31, 2007)

videochicke said:


> Another day begins and oddly Amber looks increasingly more comfortable. Her tail is wagging more and she sleeps alot very comfortably. Had a dream we took her to the vet and they gave her the poison and her body couldn't process it right and she was thrashing around in pain from it making her between here and there and looked so scared and so much time went by before they could make it happen. It felt so real it really freaked me out.


Please understand that letting go, when the time is right for Amber, is the most loving thing you will ever do for her. Until then spoil the heck out of her (even more than normal). As to "why her" too many of us have felt this pain and worry and I am sorry to say it never gets easier. Try as best you can to focus on the here and now with your sweet Amber.


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## Bailey & Bentley (Feb 25, 2007)

She is a gorgeous golden girl. Thank you for sharing that picture with us. I love her shoes, so sweet!


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

Amber is a gorgeous girl! Love her shoes!:

Hang in there! You and Amber will know when its time. Sounds like she is rallying a little. Take advantage of it and just love on her all you can

Jazzys mom


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Another pic of Amber as the dog with the shoes. We were amazed she kept them on. She pranced like a horse at first, then soon seemed not to notice them. They not only protected her feet from the gravel paths, but the hot summer pavement as well.


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

OMG! She is soooooo pretty! She sounds like my Dakota who has gone to the bridge. He was 13 1/2 when he left us. When he was about 2 he got a rash between the pads of his feet. He was a show dog and his handler told me to get Cruex powder and shake it into a white sock and put the sock on him. I did and anchored the socks to his front paws with rubber bands on his legs. Everyone thought I was nuts - said he would rip them off. We got up the next morning and here comes Dakota walking toward us with his little socks still on his feet!

Jazzys Mom


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## LifeOfRiley (Nov 2, 2007)

She is one beautiful girl!
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I had to make the decision with my Cooper this past June and it was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'd been through it before, but Cooper was special. He was my baby. I knew it was the best thing (the _only_ thing) that I could do for him, but knowing that didn't make it any easier.

All I can tell you is please don't feel like you'd be killing her. Don't beat yourself up like that. When it's time and there are no other options, it's the most selfless thing you could do for her. It won't feel like that at the time, but please remember that. You're suffering so she won't have to. That's the most selfless thing and the biggest gift of love you could give her.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Thanks for sharing Amber's picture with us - she is adorable. My thoughts are still with you both.


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## Gwen (Aug 9, 2007)

Just a poem that helped me when I had to make that agonizing decision in March 2007 for my golden girl, Becky.

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this - the last battle - can't be won.
You will be sad, I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy yearrs,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffereing I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decided this thing to do:
We've been so close - we two- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

My prayers to you and your family. ((((((Hug)))))))) Treasure the memories


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

Below I have copied some information about Creatine Levels and that should give you some idea of the degree of seriousness in the progression of kidney failure and all the suffering that accompanies it. Your Amber's creatine level is 10 as you stated in your original posting... Amber is not feeling better, she is just being a real trooper for your sake. Please believe me when I say, later on you will very much regret your having put this most difficult decision off... the guilt will haunt you, we (both my wife and I) know this from experience. I will say no more, the rest is up to you.



*Early Renal Insufficiency:* In general, I would consider creatinine values up to around 2.5 mg/dL (221 µmol/L) or maybe a little higher as indicative of mild, or early stage, kidney failure (or early renal insufficiency, as my vet terms it). In cases like these, it is still important to make dietary modifications to reduce phosphorus, but these reductions do not need to be as drastic as when the values are higher, and it is probably not necessary to do other treatments at this stage.

*Moderate Renal Insufficiency:* Values from around 2.5 up to around 4.5 are more significant, but it is still likely that your dog may not be showing any symptoms (other than increased drinking and urination) with these values.

*Serious Kidney Failure:* Values above 4.5 indicate more severe kidney failure, and are often accompanied by clinical signs such as vomiting and lack of appetite. At this stage, fluids can be very important, especially when your dog is vomiting, and your dog may even need to be hospitalized for IV fluids.


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## PeggyK (Apr 16, 2005)

I am so sorry you are going through this. So many of us have had to face the same hard decision as you-I think you will know when the time has come to let her go, She is a beautiful girl and lucky to have you for a Mom. I will be thinking of you.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

That was a horrible nightmare you had. It's not going to go like that. You had a nightmare, any one of us might have the same in your situation. It doesn't happen like that. Maybe it would help you to read over a couple of posts where some of our members have had to put their dogs to sleep. I'll post the links here, you may need to scroll through to read about the actual events the posters described during that moment of passing.

I'm so glad you shared pictures of Amber. I love her boots !! I will always have an image in my mind now of your golden and her boots. What a character, beautiful dog, with beautiful boots.

This is very sad. I hope you find peace with this very soon.

Page 15 of Jazz&Jules story of Artica:
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/showthread.php?t=25674&page=15

And Pag 3 of Mojosmum's post about Mojo
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/showthread.php?t=26797&page=3


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

wHAT A BEAUTIFUL GIRL SHE IS. aND I LOVE HER LITTLE "SHOES." a SHOW OF LOVER--PROTECTING HER FEET. oHK, HOW THEY GET INTO OUR HEARTS.


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## Tailer'sFolks (Feb 27, 2007)

What a Beautiful Girl Amber is...Spoil Her...Love Her...Let Her Go...My Heart is with You & Your Family at this turning point in you r lives...be strong & keep the Amber Memories Alive Forever.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Thoughts and prayers are with you and Amber. No matter what happens, her love will always be with you.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Eveytime I wonder if it is time she does somethng to tell me it is not. She pretty much just slept all day, but that is what she usually does. Then all of a sudden she got up and went to the door, and got all excited when she saw some squirrels and ran towards them. She walked and snooped around the yard as usual and drank some water. Been putting a glucose tablet in her water the last couple of days. When my uncle was dying, he was given a glucose IV. The hospital said it make them more comfortable as the end nears, helps with pain, and stops the shakes from low blood sugar. It *totally* stopped any shaking Amber was having and seems to make her more comfortable. She seemed worse a few days ago. But looking at the number of people who are following her story and are thinking of her, I think it is all of you and your kind thoughts somehow making this easier on her. There is no way she should be looking any better and happier, but she is. And her coughing has pretty much stopped. That wasn't supposed to happen either.


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## Emmysourgolden (Oct 10, 2007)

I just read this entire post. 

I am so sorry you are going through this. I just want to tell you what a great family you are to Amber. She is absolutely beautiful!! The boots...priceless!! 

When I was reading about how you had a mouse and didn't kill it, you don't kill spiders...you are some kind of saint!! It would be a shame if you didn't have a pet in your home because any animal that goes there is going to be loved and spoiled rotten which is the way it should be. I hate to even say that because your sweet Amber is still with you. So I guess just keep spoiling her and listening to her and do what you gotta do when it's time knowing that you are in no way murdering her but loving her out of her pain. Until that time comes enjoy the sweet girl.

I am going to be praying that when the time comes that you have peace with it and no guilt. She has gotten you through so much, what a precious girl, and now you are doing the same for her.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

I keep checking in to see how Amber is doing (and you too). She is a beautiful golden. I am glad she is a little more comfortable right now. Soak up every minute with her. They have so much love to give and so many lessons to teach in their brief stays with us. I just noticed you are in NJ too. I am in west-central NJ (Philippsburg area). If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. Continued thoughts and prayers are being sent your way..........


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

One suggestion: take lots of pictures of Amber when she's feeling well. I have some pictures of my dogs that I treasure. Jackson's photo is on the wall near my bed and near his ashes. He loved to sleep on my bed. Toby's is on the family room wall, overlooking the spot where he used to hang out. Casey's is in the hall, where I can see him when I watch TV. I love having them nearby that way.

Glad to hear that Amber is perking up. That's great news. She will let you know when it's time for her to cross over to Rainbow Bridge. In the meantime, savor every moment with her, as I know you already are.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am happy to hear that she is doing so well. It just isnt her time yet. They can really amaze us sometimes with their turnarounds. She will let you know and remember this is the best gift you will ever give her. No more suffering and painless nap. I agree take lots of pictures of her while she is running and happy so it will help you later.
Please dont tell yourself that you wont ever get another pet. That is one of the best tributes to Amber that you can do. She is not being replaced just passing the love on to another pup. 
Bless you and give her lots of hugs and kisses.


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

Oh it is sooooooo good to read that Amber is feeling better. Just take each day as it comes and each day you are blessed with Amber count it as another day God has let her stay with you. Hugs to you and Amber

Jazzys Mom


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

I dread reading these posts, but am so pleased to read that Amber is still holding on and enjoying life at the moment. As has been said before, you will know when the time is right, but take each minute, each hour and each day that she remains with you with both hands and embrace it. My best wishes and hugs to you and your special girl.XXXXXXXXXXXX


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Amber had such a good day yesterday. In the evening, she just kept walking between one person and another wanting to be pet. We took turns for at least a couple of hours scratching her favorite spots, which is pretty much anything but her paws. For a day, Amber was back. It reminded me of an amazing night I had with my friend 2 days before she died. She was home at his point under hospice care. She was comatose. Her husband and I sat up talking at her bedside to the wee hours of the morning exchanging stories. One thing he talked about was their first date at a restaurant called Japonica. It became "their place". At one point, he just started crying and wished he could have her back for just one more hour. He went into their bedroom and came out with all the things people had given her over the last 3 years. A breast cancer bear, a religious blanket, cancer awareness bracelet, pixie dust, and such and layed it all around her. He had a little vile of holy water that looked pretty gross with stuff growing in it and he joked that when Stephanie saw it, she said she wouldn't go near her dog with that. He opened the vial, sprinkled the holy water on her and gave her a kiss. And she woke up. And for one hour, just as he wished, she was back and herself. The first thing she said was "when are we going to Japonica?" Needless to say, we were stunned. I told her she has been in a coma and I asked her could she hear us. She said that "I am so tired you don't even know, but I can hear everything you say." An hour later, she was gone again but I knew from that point on she could hear us and when I talked to her I could see the subtle subtle signs that let me know that. Don't know what today will bring with Amber. She is just lying there sleeping. But I feel yesterday was like that miracle day I had with my friend just over a year ago. Amber helped me through that incredibly tough time. I cried buckets of tears hugging that dog. Here is a link to a tribute I made for my friend. She was diagnosed 6 months before her wedding, got married in Vegas after chemo and had a reception back here in Jersey after radiation was complete. Warning--chances are good watching it will make you cry.
http://www.inanyeventproductions.com/SJ.wmv


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## msdogs1976 (Dec 21, 2007)

I'm very sorry as well. Mine is 7 and I sure dread the day I have to let her go. But as others have said, don't let your good friend suffer. 

When the time comes for a new friend, a rescue dog would be a good way to go. Given a puppy a much needed home is a great thing to do. Best of luck!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

What a blessing your day with Amber was! I pray you have many, many more happy, healthy, joyful days with her.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

Your tribute to Stephanie is beautiful. What a beautiful piece you put together. I think Amber will have a loving person waiting for her when she has to leave you...My thoughts will continue to be with you and your family.


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## parkerpup (Dec 25, 2007)

my heart hurts for you. even though it was only 5 years, it's obvious she lived her life feeling tremendously loved. and a wagging tail is a good sign she is happy... a wonderful trait about goldens. we lost our golden, shasta, due to similar circumstances (only quite a bit older) last september... and even up to the very last time i saw her, she was wagging her tail. i'm so sorry they found this. my heart goes out to you. we're all here if you need to talk. <3


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

videochicke said:


> Amber had such a good day yesterday. In the evening, she just kept walking between one person and another wanting to be pet. We took turns for at least a couple of hours scratching her favorite spots, which is pretty much anything but her paws. For a day, Amber was back. It reminded me of an amazing night I had with my friend 2 days before she died. She was home at his point under hospice care. She was comatose. Her husband and I sat up talking at her bedside to the wee hours of the morning exchanging stories. One thing he talked about was their first date at a restaurant called Japonica. It became "their place". At one point, he just started crying and wished he could have her back for just one more hour. He went into their bedroom and came out with all the things people had given her over the last 3 years. A breast cancer bear, a religious blanket, cancer awareness bracelet, pixie dust, and such and layed it all around her. He had a little vile of holy water that looked pretty gross with stuff growing in it and he joked that when Stephanie saw it, she said she wouldn't go near her dog with that. He opened the vial, sprinkled the holy water on her and gave her a kiss. And she woke up. And for one hour, just as he wished, she was back and herself. The first thing she said was "when are we going to Japonica?" Needless to say, we were stunned. I told her she has been in a coma and I asked her could she hear us. She said that "I am so tired you don't even know, but I can hear everything you say." An hour later, she was gone again but I knew from that point on she could hear us and when I talked to her I could see the subtle subtle signs that let me know that. Don't know what today will bring with Amber. She is just lying there sleeping. But I feel yesterday was like that miracle day I had with my friend just over a year ago. Amber helped me through that incredibly tough time. I cried buckets of tears hugging that dog. Here is a link to a tribute I made for my friend. She was diagnosed 6 months before her wedding, got married in Vegas after chemo and had a reception back here in Jersey after radiation was complete. Warning--chances are good watching it will make you cry.
> http://www.inanyeventproductions.com/SJ.wmv


I am so sorry about your friend. What a beautiful story and I am in tears after watching that photo tribute. "The Dance" was a song that gave me great comfort after I lost my first golden Kody. Kody helped me through a very difficult time in my life too. I believe that goldens are angels that come to us for a brief time with a great purpose and I am certain that your Amber's purpose was to help you through that very difficult time providing a literal soft place to fall. She has done her job well. You seem like a very caring and compassionate person that both your friend and Amber were lucky to have. I will continue to pray for your sweet girl and I hope that she has a good day today too.


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## Griffyn'sMom (Mar 22, 2007)

Beautiful story and tribute to your dear friend. She was so happy and elegant - and it looks like she married him twice? Good for them! Making something like that does help with the grieving process.

My husband lost his younger brother last December and he spent 9 months putting an album together for his parents. He also did a DVD with music. He became obsessed, asking everyone that had contact with his brother for pictures - the old pictures he refurbished via computer and the end result was a beautiful gift. It was amazing to see so many pictures of someone that was so reclusive and camera shy.

Pictures help us remember things that we wouldn't ordinarily remember so keep taking those pictures of your special girl. So glad you had a great day yesterday.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Amber is still hanging in there. She slept most of the day curled up next to my husband on the floor. A little while ago, she just leapt up and headed for the door to go outside for a bit. She appears weak, but comfortable. It took about 15 years for my family to convince me to get a dog. I never wanted to see it die. One of my kids said the dog is going to die no matter who owns it. At least it will die in a good home. I knew before we got one that the loss would be hard. I didn't truly understand how hard. A dog goes beyond a pet.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

You're right ... they are a family member. Amber knows how much you love her and trusts you without a doubt to do only the best for her. It's an awesome responsibility but one that is rewarded many times over with their unconditional love. As said before, the pain you feel is the flip side of loving so much and being loved so much...... there can't be one without the other. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family.


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## Sunny Delight (Mar 10, 2007)

videochicke said:


> Amber is still hanging in there. She slept most of the day curled up next to my husband on the floor. A little while ago, she just leapt up and headed for the door to go outside for a bit. She appears weak, but comfortable. It took about 15 years for my family to convince me to get a dog. I never wanted to see it die. One of my kids said the dog is going to die no matter who owns it. At least it will die in a good home. I knew before we got one that the loss would be hard. I didn't truly understand how hard. A dog goes beyond a pet.


You are so right that a dog goes beyond a pet (especially Goldens!). I truely believe that Amber was sent to get you through that time, and perhaps she has to go help someone else soon? Gosh, I think I've already said that in this thread. And she IS in a wonderful home, and is very, very loved. I found her pic yesterday and she is SO beautiful. Can we see more pics of her? 

I am about to watch Stephanie's tribute, and my eyes are wet now, so I'd better get the tissues...


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

I lost a mother, 2 uncles and 2 aunts the same year I lost Arby and I can tell you the hurt of losing the golden was the hardest. I think it has a lot to do with the purity of the love they have for us and the trust they put in us to be their sole means of support. I trust you are savoring the time you have left with her.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Another day and she is still hangin in there. Still wagging her tail. Sleeping more and more but comfortably. She hasn't had one shake since the glucose was added to her water and I read on several sites about giving them pepcid ac to keep their stomach comfortable and have been doing that as well. My husband was getting ready for work today and she parked herself in front of the door as if to say don't go! I was looking at the website of the kennel we got her from to try to see what became of her parents. Seems her dad is still alive at the age of 12. There were several litters available at the time, and I fell in love with her dad. A very lovable gorgeous dog. And she ended up looking just like him. Here is her dad: http://www.k9data.com/pedigree.asp?ID=62744 I know hew mom's call name was Stella, but can't remember her full name to look it up. The papers are around here somewhere....


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

He is a beauty, that is for sure. It sounds like your girl isn't ready to go just yet. Take advantage of every minute you hvae with her


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Wow your girl really does look like her dad. She's beautiful, and I'm so glad she is doing ok. Take lots of pictures now and every day she is still with you.

You can click on Offspring of Sam on the K9data page and probably find her dam listed.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

mylissyk said:


> Wow your girl really does look like her dad. She's beautiful, and I'm so glad she is doing ok. Take lots of pictures now and every day she is still with you.
> 
> You can click on Offspring of Sam on the K9data page and probably find her dam listed.


 Found Amber's mom. "Gold-Rush Super Natural aka "Stella. She turns 8 this month.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

I've decided how to get some good to come out of all of this. So may websites have good information on kidney disease and dogs. I was surprised to learn it is the leading cause of death in dogs and cats. Amber will have many follow her down this road. But there are signs it is happening before it gets to this stage. And things in their diet that will take a weak kidney and destroy it further. And foods that are bad for kidneys--like grapes and raisens. Anyway, my goal is to make a handout in Amber's honor for my vet and other local vets to hand out to all pet owners at each visit to prevent as many pets as possible from getting life cut short by kidney disease. Had I known more and changed things throughout Amber's life, I think she would still be here for awhile longer. She might not have had a long life, but a longer one. Amber's struggle will help others. That is the best way I can think of to honor her.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

IT is so very hard, my jamie fell broke her leg, what we found out was she had bone cancer, the leg just broke on its own, it was so hard, but try to stay with her, and see and be with her when she leaves this world,she knows you love her, you willknow when it is time.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

I think your idea of making a handout in honour of your girl is a wonderful idea - perhaps you could post it on here as well? Take care and sending more hugs for AmberXXXXXXXX


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

videochicke said:


> I've decided how to get some good to come out of all of this. So may websites have good information on kidney disease and dogs. I was surprised to learn it is the leading cause of death in dogs and cats. Amber will have many follow her down this road. But there are signs it is happening before it gets to this stage. And things in their diet that will take a weak kidney and destroy it further. And foods that are bad for kidneys--like grapes and raisens. Anyway, my goal is to make a handout in Amber's honor for my vet and other local vets to hand out to all pet owners at each visit to prevent as many pets as possible from getting life cut short by kidney disease. Had I known more and changed things throughout Amber's life, I think she would still be here for awhile longer. She might not have had a long life, but a longer one. Amber's struggle will help others. That is the best way I can think of to honor her.


That is a very good way to honor Amber's life. I, too, just recently learned about raisins and grapes affecting the kidneys.

Also, don't beat yourself up about what you could have done differently. Kidney failure can be caused from many things. Our dogs can be exposed to multiple poisons just when we walk them down the street. Take comfort in knowing that you are a great Golden Mom.


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## goyagirl106 (Aug 1, 2007)

videochicke said:


> Another day and she is still hangin in there. Still wagging her tail. Sleeping more and more but comfortably. She hasn't had one shake since the glucose was added to her water and I read on several sites about giving them pepcid ac to keep their stomach comfortable and have been doing that as well. My husband was getting ready for work today and she parked herself in front of the door as if to say don't go! I was looking at the website of the kennel we got her from to try to see what became of her parents. Seems her dad is still alive at the age of 12. There were several litters available at the time, and I fell in love with her dad. A very lovable gorgeous dog. And she ended up looking just like him. Here is her dad: http://www.k9data.com/pedigree.asp?ID=62744 I know hew mom's call name was Stella, but can't remember her full name to look it up. The papers are around here somewhere....


Videochicke, my heart is with you. I am a first-time dog owner, for six months. We spent last night awake, terrified that Lila had a blockage and might die. We were wrong thankfully, but the experience made me realize how heart-wrenching it will be to lose this member of our pack. I never expected Lila to be like a child to me. I was terrified of the potentially imminent and definitely eventual loss of her. I cannot tell you how much I feel for you, your husband, and Amber. I hope that she is comfortable, that peace surrounds all of you as she passes, and that her spirit stays with you forever.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

How weird is this. I have a little bone christmas ornament that says "Amber" hanging on our tree, and I hang her first collar on the tree around it each year as well. Somehow, her collar slipped off the branch and in the process knocked the Amber ornament to a new location. It is now hanging between an ornament that used to be my grandmother's (she died when I was in kindrgarten) and a little baby angel ornament I bought for the child I lost before he/she was born back in 2000. Maybe my grandmother and child are waiting to welcome Amber. At least that is what I hope it means.


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## shannon (Jun 6, 2006)

godspeed to you and amber


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## C&B's Grizzly (Nov 20, 2007)

videochicke said:


> How weird is this. I have a little bone christmas ornament that says "Amber" hanging on our tree, and I hang her first collar on the tree around it each year as well. Somehow, her collar slipped off the branch and in the process knocked the Amber ornament to a new location. It is now hanging between an ornament that used to be my grandmother's (she died when I was in kindrgarten) and a little baby angel ornament I bought for the child I lost before he/she was born back in 2000. Maybe my grandmother and child are waiting to welcome Amber. At least that is what I hope it means.


Videochicke - I have thought the same thing. My grandpa died in June of this year and then I lost Tank on Monday. I just like to think that my grandpa needed a friend to be by his side in heaven. I admire you in the fact that you are making a handout about Amber's disease. Lots of hugs from our family. We understand exactly how you feel...


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

It does sound like that your grandmother and child are going to be there to welcome Amber and to take play with her until you can be together again.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

BeauShel said:


> It does sound like that your grandmother and child are going to be there to welcome Amber and to take play with her until you can be together again.


 I sure hope so. It would make me feel so much better to think there are loving ams waiting for her.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

videochicke said:


> How weird is this. I have a little bone christmas ornament that says "Amber" hanging on our tree, and I hang her first collar on the tree around it each year as well. Somehow, her collar slipped off the branch and in the process knocked the Amber ornament to a new location. It is now hanging between an ornament that used to be my grandmother's (she died when I was in kindrgarten) and a little baby angel ornament I bought for the child I lost before he/she was born back in 2000. Maybe my grandmother and child are waiting to welcome Amber. At least that is what I hope it means.


I am sure that your grandmother and child will be there to greet and comfort Amber.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

goyagirl106 said:


> Videochicke, my heart is with you. I am a first-time dog owner, for six months. We spent last night awake, terrified that Lila had a blockage and might die. We were wrong thankfully, but the experience made me realize how heart-wrenching it will be to lose this member of our pack. I never expected Lila to be like a child to me. I was terrified of the potentially imminent and definitely eventual loss of her. I cannot tell you how much I feel for you, your husband, and Amber. I hope that she is comfortable, that peace surrounds all of you as she passes, and that her spirit stays with you forever.


The joy they give is worth the pain.

_“There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings or walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will be broken seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given.”_

_Suzanne Clothier,_ _Bones Would Rain From The Sky_

I swore as I was going through it myself that I would never do it again. It hurt too much. I would protect my heart from ever being broken that way again. I think it was perhaps less than two weeks after I said my last good-bye to Kody that I knew, as much as it hurt, I could not live my life without a golden’s love in it. Nine months later I opened my heart to another…Jester…my merry spirit and giver of pure joy. We never know what tomorrow may bring for ourselves and our loved ones. Even though I know with some certainty that I will once again walk that painful journey through golden loss, I wouldn’t change it for the world.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

*For Amber & Julie..."The Journey"*

_When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a_
_journey - a journey that will bring you more love and_
_devotion than you have ever known, yet will also test_
_your strength and courage. If you allow, the journey_
_will teach you many things, about life, about yourself,_
_and most of all, about love. You will come away changed_
_forever, for one soul cannot touch another without_
_leaving its mark._

_Along the way, you will learn much about savoring_
_life's simple pleasures -- jumping in leaves, snoozing_
_in the sun, the joys of puddles, and even the_
_satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears. If_
_you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to_
_truly experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or_
_log will go unexamined, no rustling bush will be_
_overlooked, and even the very air will be inhaled,_
_pondered, and noted as being full of valuable_
_information._

_Your pace may be slower, except when heading home to_
_the food dish, but you will become a better naturalist,_
_having been taught by an expert in the_
_field. Too many times we hike on automatic pilot,_
_our goal being to complete the trail rather than enjoy_
_the journey. We miss the details: the colorful_
_mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the_
_old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig._

_Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole_
_new world. We stop; we browse the landscape, we kick_
_over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all_
_around. And we learn what any dog knows - that nature has_
_created a marvelously complex world that is full of_
_surprises, that each cycle of the seasons brings_
_ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own._

_Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned_
_to the world around you. You will find yourself_
_watching summer insects collecting on a screen;_
_how bizarre they are; how many kinds there are or_
_noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the_
_dark. You will stop to observe the swirling dance_
_of windblown leaves, or sniff the air after rain. It_
_does not matter that there is no objective in this; the_
_point is in the doing, in not letting life's most_
_important details slip by._

_You will find yourself doing silly things that your_
_pet-less friends might not understand: spending thirty_
_minutes in the grocery aisle looking for the cat food_
_brand your feline must have, buying dog birthday_
_treats, or driving around the block an extra time_
_because your pet enjoys the ride. You will roll in the_
_snow, wrestle with chewie toys, bounce little rubber_
_balls till your eyes cross, and even run around the_
_house trailing your bathrobe tie with a cat in hot_
_pursuit, all in the name of love._

_Your house will become muddier and hairier. You_
_will wear less dark clothing and buy more lint rollers._
_You may find dog biscuits in your pocket or purse, and_
_feel the need to explain that an old plastic shopping_
_bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves_
_the crinkly sound. You will learn the true measure of_
_love. The steadfast, undying kind that says, "It_
_doesn't matter where we are or what we do, or how life_
_treats us, as long as we are together."_

_Respect this always. It is the most precious gift any_
_living soul can give another. You will not find it_
_often among the human race. And you will learn_
_humility. The look in my dog's eyes often made me_
_feel ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw_
_not some flawed human who could be cross and_
_stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful_
_companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed_
_them as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and_
_so chose to love me anyway._

_If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey_
_is done, you will be not just a better person, but the_
_person your pet always knew you to be. The one they_
_were proud to call beloved friend._

_I must caution you that this journey is not without_
_pain. Like all paths of true love, the pain is part of_
_loving. For as surely as the sun sets, one day your_
_dear animal companion will follow a trail you cannot_
_yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and_
_love to let them go._

_A pet's time on earth is far too short, especially_
_for those that love them. We borrow them, really, just_
_for a while, and during these brief years they are_
_generous enough to give us all their love, every inch_
_of their spirit and heart, until one day there is_
_nothing left. The cat that only yesterday was a kitten_
_is all too soon old and frail and sleeping in the sun._
_The young pup of boundless energy now wakes up stiff_
_and lame, the muzzle gone to gray._

_Deep down we somehow always knew that this journey_
_would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they_
_would be broken. But give them we must for it is all_
_they ask in return. When the time comes, and the_
_road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one_
_final gift and let them run on ahead, young and_
_whole once more. "God speed, good friend," we say,_
_until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross_
_again._

_~ author unknown ~_


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

I agree. My heart dog, my once in a life time best friend and soulmate dog, is ten years old. That isn't especially ancient for a Whippet, but his brother (full sibling, older litter) died last year at 11, and his sire died at 13. Both those deaths are abnormally young for a Whippet. That said, his sister is doing great (same litter as him) and so is he. He runs, plays, rolls about, is happy, spirited, eats with zest, and even expert dog people think he's four, maybe five. I say all this even now to convince myself that his loss, life without him, is a distant thing I need not concern myself with now. Naturally I don't want to spend whatever time he does have, be it six years or six months, thinking about losing him!

My point is that I as he ages, the dread fills me, and I am forced to believe that I will still be able to breathe when he is gone. I bought another Whippet, and adopted a Golden, so that I can fall in love with them (and I have) in hopes it will help ease the pain and give me some "part" of my heart dog (since he influenced them deeply) when he is gone. Also getting one now, and having a bond with it BEFORE my heart dog passes means I won't be running out to try to "replace" him when he does go.

*sigh* this whole post is off topic videoc and I'm sorry about that. I just had to get all that out!


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Here's a couple photos of the ten year old from a week ago. Yup, we are living life to the fullest!


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## LifeOfRiley (Nov 2, 2007)

That's great, that Amber is holding her own. It sounds like maybe she's just not ready yet.
Enjoy every moment you can with her. Take lots of pictures and give her all the hugs and kisses she can stand.
I think the handout is a wonderful idea! What a great way to honor her memory.





AquaClaraCanines said:


> My point is that I as he ages, the dread fills me, and I am forced to believe that I will still be able to breathe when he is gone. I bought another Whippet, and adopted a Golden, so that I can fall in love with them (and I have) in hopes it will help ease the pain and give me some "part" of my heart dog (since he influenced them deeply) when he is gone. Also getting one now, and having a bond with it BEFORE my heart dog passes means I won't be running out to try to "replace" him when he does go.
> 
> *sigh* this whole post is off topic videoc and I'm sorry about that. I just had to get all that out!


I can understand that. My Cooper didn't really influence Gunner very much, even though he 'raised' him. The two of them were like night and day, but just having Gunner here when Cooper went made all the difference in the world. It was bad enough as it was, but I don't even want to think about the mess I would have been, if I hadn't had Gunner. He needed me. I had to keep it together and keep our routine as normal as possible, for him. And it helped that he was actually grieving with me. He understood and missed Cooper just as much as we did. He also kept me from going out, too soon, and getting another one. Which would have been a disaster.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Exactly. Epic is not like Rigby, but because they have deep bond... that connection will always be there. Epic will be my buddy who knew and was raised with Rigby.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

She still appears comfortable, but with less and less energy. I was thinking back to one of my first experiences with her. Took her out in the front on her leash. She had become considerably stronger seemingly overnight. I didn't see the cat as we went out but she sure did. The cat took off in a flash. Amber headed to the spot the cat had been near the tree and went behind the tree sniffing as I waited and looked around admiring the beautiful day. Then she looked up at me and there was a little leg hanging out of her mouth. Huh? What is that? The cat had just apparently killed a chipmunk and dropped it when she saw Amber. Hey--this wasn't part of the book about your new puppy! And of course I am home alone. YUCK!!! I think the worse thing I have ever had to do is stick my hand into her mouth, encase my hand around this bloody, partially gutted, still warm chipmunk and pry it out of her mouth. It was quite a battle getting it from her. Sometimes there isn't enough soap to feel clean. Guess that was the moment I truly became her mom.


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## Penny'smom (Mar 3, 2007)

I'd say that moment definitely qualified you as her Mom...her forever Mom.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Amber slept most of the day. I just want to wrap my arms around her and hide her from death. Somehow you keep hoping beyond all sense and logic for that miracle.


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## Mersee (Feb 26, 2007)

Julie~
Miracles can happen! Look at how many views this thread has and the prayers!

I am thinking of you and your sweet girl.

Maria


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## RickGibbs (Dec 16, 2005)

videochicke said:


> Amber slept most of the day. I just want to wrap my arms around her and hide her from death. Somehow you keep hoping beyond all sense and logic for that miracle.


I hope you realize that every moment you have with Amber is a miracle.... I know I don't get to post a whole lot lately, but I do think of you and Amber a lot...


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

Hurricane Bret was coming, Aug. 1999. I loaded up our first golden Scooter who had turned 5 in June, and his full brother, later Buck, who would be 5 in Feb. and our cat and headed to safety at my Brother's in Austin. Less than two hours after we got there Scooter dropped dead of a heart attack. I had lost many dogs over my years, but his death hit me hard enough that I talked of giving Buck away so i would never have to know when he died, if he was sick, etc.

But what did I do? Not only did i keep Buck, but in Oct I got littermates kayCee and Hunter! Buck also died of a heart attack, but this past May at age 12 years3 months!

I certainly understand you need and want for a tribut to Amber, something to honor her, make her death more than something useless. I hvae tried to do the same with my Hunter, the dog in my avatar. Mine were on the monthly hearworm prventative pills, but a ne 6 month injection had come out Y9ou just had to take them to the vet twice a year for the injection. I had always given them pills on the lst of each month, never a problem, but this was suppose to be so good. I elected to do it one dog at a time. Hunter was my first.

Well, it was not so good. It brought on autoimmune hemolytic anemia and his liver was dying in places. I had never heard of AIHA til he was diagnosed, didn't know a thing about using a computer. But i went to our little town library and they should me how to find info. and I almost died at what I found out. 50% of dogs die within a week of diagnosis and another 30% die within a month. There is no cure, only remission and anything from a change in food to antibiotics to stress to vax can cause a relapse. And it is very, very expeense in most cases to keep your dog alive. Some go into a remission that requires very few drugs, others are on high dollar drugs for months at a time.

Hunter was diagnosed on Oct. 9, 2003 and died Oct. 16, 200, never leaving ICU during that time. It is an awful disease and his death was ugly. After hisd eath I started doing more and more looking and found many others who had lost or almost lost a dog to that ProHeart6. One in Colorado took all 3 of hers in at the same time and in two months one was dead of AIHA, another of liver damage, and the 3rd is on meds for the rest of his life. One in Boston lost both her dogs, one in Floridea lost her pom and almost lost her sheltie, one in Canada lost her seeing eye golden, and on and on. The leadeing reactions were liver damage, AIHA, and seizures. I was in contact with over 200 who had lost thier dogs or almost lost thier dogs. In this little town a great dane went into shock before even leaving the vet's, a chi developed a huge lump and stoache problems that took several trips to the vet, a lady from my church has an elder standard poodle who is on meds the rest of her life, and another guy almost lost his aussie shep and i did lose Hunter. These are just the ones i know about.

One lady up in Wis lost her border collie mix, Bandit the same day i lost my Hunter and we have stayed in close contact all these years. i had a tee shirt made up with hunter's picture on the front,m Bandit's picture on the back and over each pictureHE GOT PROHEART6 and under their pictures AND HE DIED. I wore it when i went anywhere there wuld be a crowd of people. I had run off copies of a couple of sites-www.dogsadversereactions.com and www.thepetguardian.com (she is the one in color that lost 2 of her dogs) and hadned them out to people that asked about the dogs. I made flyers and hubby, a cross country trucker, put them in terminals, plants, cafes, anywhere folks woudl let him. I told Hunter's story on a couple of forums and people that belonged to othe forums asked me to come and tell his story. I ended up on many, many forums here, some in Canada and even a poodle forum in Australia.

Many posted that after reading Hunter's story they either took their dog/dogs off proheart or refused it. Some even swear i probably saved their dog's lives, espeically those that had dogs with autoimmune porblems already. I don't know that Hunter and I saved any lives, but i like to think we did.

Wel, 10 months after his death, the FDA had them pull proheart6 from the market, and when they have tried to get it back on, the FDA said no, not enough research had been done and apparently they had not given adaquiet warnings on the labels The company calimed it was "mass hysteria" and that every death of a dog was attributed to that product because of grief stricken folks folks going all over the web and saying so. Only thing,m we had sent in reports to the FDA and the pattern was seen. All thesehealhty dogs developing AIHA withing 2-5 weeks for getting proHeart6, all these healhty dogs developing liver damage withint a month=2 of getting it, seizrues within minutes to a few hours later, etc, etc.

Even tho it has been off the market since Sept. 3, 2004, many of us are still telling the story of what it did to our dogs. We know they still want to bring it back, or even worse, introduce the 12 month version used in Australia. We feel folks need to know there is a real danger. By the way, the monthly pill stays in their system 24 hours, the injection stayed 6 months, and they even said it could stay 8 months and was time released. AFter Hunter's death i found that some batches that hit the market in July before he got his fatal injection were recalled because of problems with the time release spheres.

The point is, if we can SAVE or HELP one dog, it is worth the effort. I am sure that ones who have read several times about my Hunter are tired of reading it, but there are always new comers to warn.

I think it is great what you are going to do to honor your most precious girl. Bless you.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

I may not be able to log on for a couple of days so I just wanted to let you know that you and your sweet Amber remain in my thoughts and prayers.


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## rebeccadam (Dec 23, 2007)

Julie, 
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. The loss is so heavy and so great. I remember sending my two to the bridge-
I can tell you that time heals and that you will be able to look back and remember and smile and laugh with the stories. Hang in there- we are all thinking and praying for you.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

Still thinking of your girl


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## Ann Ali (Jan 3, 2008)

mY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. IT IS NEVER AN EASY THING TO DO BUT YOU WILL KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. I HAVE BEEN IN THISSAME SPOT BEFORE AND IT WAS THE HARDEST THING I HAD TO DO.


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## Patsy's Parents (Aug 8, 2007)

videochicke and Amber, my thoughts are so with you today. I saw this post this morning and have been totally non-productive in my office pouring over it and crying my eyes out. My employees all want to know what is doing this to me and why my door is closed. 

I feel your pain, videochicke and I share your feelings. Patsy is my first dog (I am 55) and all my life thought that 'dog-people' were a little odd. Last night, my wife, who has had dogs most of her life, told me I am not merely a dog-person, I have become a dog fanatic with with our Patsy. I dread having to go through what you are, and I always ask other Golden parents how old their dog is because I want to hear that their dogs are old so I know Patsy will be. I have already determined that when Patsy turns 6 (she is 19 months) I am going to get another Golden, because I do not want a life without a Golden in it. I encourage you to allow another one to become your friend and buddy.

I don't know how you will do this, but you will and we will all be here for you. And I will know that when Patsy has to go to the Rainbow Bridge, she will be running with your Amber!


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## gandalfluvgolden (Jan 10, 2008)

I read the whole thread and feel very sorry about this tragedy. I hope Amber is still alive by now.


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## gandalfluvgolden (Jan 10, 2008)

Did anyone notice Amber is from Gold Rush? Would that be another~~~. This is really terrifying, especially my wife wants a puppy from gold rush because they just look so fantastic.


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## lhappytwenty (Nov 6, 2007)

*poor baby*

I'm so sooo sorry. My first golden was 18 when I had to let him go and that was hard enough!! I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Just be with her in final days and let her know how much you love her. I think that makes all the difference in the world to them.


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## Angel_Kody (Feb 27, 2007)

gandalfluvgolden said:


> I read the whole thread and feel very sorry about this tragedy. I hope Amber is still alive by now.


Please see the Rainbow Bridge section. Sadly...Amber has gone to the playground of angels.


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## Amanda (Jun 16, 2006)

So Sorry for your pain! Kidney failure in animals, I have been told by my vet is very painful. Please don't look at putting your dog to sleep as killing her!! You are. or will be ending her pain, that it a unselfish and very loving thing to do for her! You can be with her when you have to let go if you want!!! Trust me , I have worked in a veterinary office for many years and have seen owners prolong pets life for their comfort and it is truly more painful to watch then watching an animal and owner saying goodbye in a painless way.Again I'am so sorry for your pain. Best wishes


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## gandalfluvgolden (Jan 10, 2008)

Angel_Kody said:


> Please see the Rainbow Bridge section. Sadly...Amber has gone to the playground of angels.


I feel very bad about this. Dog is beyond a pet. Anyone knows if this is related to Gold Rush bloodline or not?


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## gandalfluvgolden (Jan 10, 2008)

I am looking for a healthy puppy. But now, I am a little scared about what has been said in this forum.


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## derby98 (Dec 30, 2007)

I can't find the Rainbow Bridge section


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

Its 3rd one down in General Golden Retriever Section

Jazzys Mom


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## Mrs_B (Jan 21, 2008)

I Am So Sorry for Your Loss, You Have My Deepest Sympathy

You sound like you already know what is the best choice.


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## Sunshine Goldens (Oct 31, 2005)

Angel_Kody said:


> Please see the Rainbow Bridge section. Sadly...Amber has gone to the playground of angels.


Oh no...I just read through this whole thread with a lump in my throat. I was hoping to read that some miracle happened. I am so, so sorry.


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## linktrek (Nov 17, 2007)

I am a medical technologist on people and that 10 on the creatinine is certainly high but please make sure that the BUN is also elevated. If the BUN is normal than the creatinine means nothing. Here is a story. Once when I was working in a very busy hospital, my friend in the clinical chemistry lab made a mistake and punched in the creatinine with the decimal point in the wrong place elevating the creatinine level of the patient. The BUN was normal and there were no clinical symptoms of 
kidney failure. But the dr diagnosed the patient with kidney failure and because the dr was wrong, the incident ened up on the 6pm news.
If your dogs kidneys were shutting down then you will see her unable to catch her breath. If she does this I would definiteley put her down. 
Here is another story. My brother's cat had a bad infection of the urinary tract. The dr gave her 2 days of IV and then said she was not responding to the antibiodics so he suggested that we put her down. I looked at the cat and said to myself, yes the cat is sick put it is still pooping ok and eating a little. So I told the dr. Why don't we treat the cat like a human being and take her home for hospice. Make a long story short, the cat is still alive 13 years now.
Another story. That same cat's brother, which I owned, liver started to fail. There was no treatment for it. Every day she looked worse and worse. She walked like she was drunk because of the blood containing poisons the liver usually filters out. She wasn't eating at all. It was easy to make the decision that it was time for her to be put down.
You have to take these things case by case. But I am a firm believer in treating sick dogs and cats like people when it comes to putting them to sleep. 
Sorry this was so long.


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

Right on!

My Flirt's creatnine ranged in the 3.3 to 5.0 range with high BUN, anywhere from 73 to 94. 2 days before we gave the the CCNU (Lomastine) her creat. was 2.9 with BUN of 51. 5 days after treatment the creat. was 4.7 with BUN of 94. Treatment didn't do much good there but we didn't expect it to affect the kidneys. What we were having so much problems with was Flirt's CALCIUM! Her calcium was anywhere from 11.0 to 15.5 which is as hig as their charts went so it could have been higher.

Symptoms Flirt showed were lethergy, vomiting, NO appetite, and she drank HUGE amounts of water. We had to close all the lids on the toilets because she would drink the water bowl dry then drink the toilets dry. Oddly, she wasn't urinating very much, which of course goes right along with kidney failure

Jazzys Mom


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

gandalfluvgolden said:


> I feel very bad about this. Dog is beyond a pet. Anyone knows if this is related to Gold Rush bloodline or not?


 Amber is a Gold-rush golden and I could not have been happier with her. I miss her soooo much. She had a wonderful loving disposition. Her parents are alive and well. Her dad is already 12. She was the picture of health until this. No way of knowing what happened and why, but I do suspect the dogfood recall. If I could afford it, I would get another Gold-rush golden in a heartbeat. But the price has gone beyond what we can afford in our present financial situation--one daughter in college and myself and other daughter being treated for Lyme disease. IV 7 days a week for her really adds up. Amber's half brother is a Gold-rush stud dog. My dream dog would be one of his female pups.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

gandalfluvgolden said:


> I feel very bad about this. Dog is beyond a pet. Anyone knows if this is related to Gold Rush bloodline or not?


Amber is a Gold-rush golden and I could not have been happier with her. I miss her soooo much. She had a wonderful loving disposition. Her parents are alive and well. Her dad is already 12. She was the picture of health until this. No way of knowing what happened and why, but I do suspect the dogfood recall. If I could afford it, I would get another Gold-rush golden in a heartbeat. But the price has gone beyond what we can afford in our present financial situation--one daughter in college and myself and other daughter being treated for Lyme disease. IV 7 days a week for her really adds up. Amber's half brother is a Gold-rush stud dog. My dream dog would be one of his female pups.


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## peeps (Sep 12, 2007)

OMG I am so sorry you are going through this-I am glad you can come to this forum and have shoulders to lean on. I have not gone through this myself but my heart really goes out to you. I think that of she is in pain I would help her out of her suffering. In the end we have to take care of them the best we can and although this is hard just remember the good times you had together-they matter alot!


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## Marie Welch (Jan 25, 2008)

I know exactly what you are going through. I am so sorry for your dog. 

Last month our 7 year old beagle went into renal failure after an application of Frontline flea meds. Our vet admitted her and flushed her kidneys for 2 days. Her labs were so bad that he basically sent her home to die. We purchase a 37 pound bag of prescription Purina KD food and refused to take his word for it. Now she has gained back all the weight she lost, she is perky and happy and out rabbit hunting again.

I wish your dog could have the same results. We just did a lot of praying and Daisy is better than ever. She is our little miracle.


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## Marie Welch (Jan 25, 2008)

I'm sorry I didn't read the entire thread before my other post. Since there was a 2 week gap in postings I assume you lost Amber. Please accept my sincere sympathy. As I read all the replies I was so hoping she was going to be another miracle.

Our first golden, Missy, was a rescue. We got her at the age of 14 months. In June of 2007 we found a lump in her stomach. They couldn't really tell what was there but since it was behind her spleen they advised surgery. The X Ray showed something there. They had to do a spleenectomy and she came home the next day happy and fit as a fiddle, or so it seemed. That was on Mon. On Sat she started vomiting. We took her to the vet and everything seemed fine. She kept getting weaker and started vomiting blood. At 7 PM we knew she was going to leave us. The vet was out in the barn vaccinating cattle and his kid didn't tell him we called. By the time he got in around 10 it was too late to do anything for her. He came to the house around 11, gave her a couple of shots but told us it didn't look good. My husband and I lay on the floor with her for the entire night. She just refused to give in. She would drop her head and suddenly jerk awake and look for both of us. She was still accepting ice cubes at that time. This went on all night long and she was getting so weary but refused to leave us. I finally got as close as I could and stroked her and told her it was OK to sleep, it was OK to go. I told her we loved her but she could rest now. She moved to a comfortable position with her back to the couch and went to sleep. She left us at 6:10 on a beautiful sunny morning, June 24, 2007. It was the longest night in my life and one of the saddest. She was our heart dog and she left a big hole in our hearts. She was so loyal and loved us so much that she almost refused to die and leave us.

Amber's story has brought it all back to me. But it really is never far away. I think of her hundreds of times a day. We have a 6 month old now and we see so much of Missy in her. Bonnie was born 12 days after Missy died. I like to think she stopped off in KY and put her mark on this unborn puppy so she could come to us. We searched so long, looked at rescues, ads and all over before we found Bonnie. Bonnie was already 13 weeks old when we found her online and they had dropped the price because she was getting too old to sell. We think she was paw picked just for us and waiting for us to find her. Our friends say Missy is teaching her as she goes along and she does so many things exactly like Missy.

I hope you can find another puppy to love. We waited 4 months because my husband didn't want to love another one the way we loved Missy. She is not replacing Missy but she has her own place in our hearts.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

Marie Welch said:


> I'm sorry I didn't read the entire thread before my other post. Since there was a 2 week gap in postings I assume you lost Amber. Please accept my sincere sympathy. As I read all the replies I was so hoping she was going to be another miracle.
> 
> Our first golden, Missy, was a rescue. We got her at the age of 14 months. In June of 2007 we found a lump in her stomach. They couldn't really tell what was there but since it was behind her spleen they advised surgery. The X Ray showed something there. They had to do a spleenectomy and she came home the next day happy and fit as a fiddle, or so it seemed. That was on Mon. On Sat she started vomiting. We took her to the vet and everything seemed fine. She kept getting weaker and started vomiting blood. At 7 PM we knew she was going to leave us. The vet was out in the barn vaccinating cattle and his kid didn't tell him we called. By the time he got in around 10 it was too late to do anything for her. He came to the house around 11, gave her a couple of shots but told us it didn't look good. My husband and I lay on the floor with her for the entire night. She just refused to give in. She would drop her head and suddenly jerk awake and look for both of us. She was still accepting ice cubes at that time. This went on all night long and she was getting so weary but refused to leave us. I finally got as close as I could and stroked her and told her it was OK to sleep, it was OK to go. I told her we loved her but she could rest now. She moved to a comfortable position with her back to the couch and went to sleep. She left us at 6:10 on a beautiful sunny morning, June 24, 2007. It was the longest night in my life and one of the saddest. She was our heart dog and she left a big hole in our hearts. She was so loyal and loved us so much that she almost refused to die and leave us.
> 
> ...


We too were hoping for a miracle. Other than the cough, she seemed fine at the time the vet called us with the bad news. Her lab results were so bad there was nothing they could do. I am still in shock that this all happened so fast and she is really really gone. There are still nose prints on the front window that I cannot bring myself to clean. I feel dazed by all of this. I am so sorry you had to go through this as well. It is not at all easy losing a dog. Amber's half brother is a stud dog at the breeder we got her from. He looks just like her. I am hoping for one of his pups one day. Kind of like having a piece of her somehow.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Julie, leave her nose prints for as long as you like. Everyone grieves at their own pace and only you know when your sweet memories come more often than the buckets of tears. All dog lovers know the pain you are in if they have had to send a beloved friend on ahead of themselves. I am so sorry for your loss. Amber is in great company at Rainbow Bridge, and she will stay snuggled in your heart always....


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## Marie Welch (Jan 25, 2008)

Julie I always said our truck windows looked like they were frosted. There is still some of the frosting on them because it was hard to remove. 

Look for her in unexpected places. I have a friend that told me she has a dog that comes back to visit from time to time. Just before reading of Missy's death she was at her computer. Her dog paid her a visit and had another dog with him. He relayed a message, don't worry mom, I'll take care of her. Shortly after she learned that Missy was gone. She didn't tell me this right away because she was afraid I would think she was nuts. She says he has brought Missy to visit 2 other times. She wrote one day and asked if Missy had a very fluffy tail that just moved slowly and gracefully. Then when I said yes, she said Missy had been there. Some of you may think this is nuts but Terry and I believe it.

We are campers and it was one of Missy's favorite things. We never went to camp for 2 weeks after she died. We had had several days of rain. When we were unloading the coolers, luggage, etc, I made several trips over the same path. On the last trip I found a beautiful clump of snowy white rump hair right where I had been walking. Where did it come from unless Missy was there? It would have been dirty if it had lain in the rain for 2 weeks or been blown away. We later went to check out a new campground. We were discussing getting a new puppy as we rode. When we got home, as I got out of the truck I felt something brush the back of my bare leg and I kept brushing it to see if there was a spider web or anything there. Later it came to me, it felt just like Missy's tail. There was absolutely nothing there. She went with us to approve the new campground and I think she approved the new puppy too because she knew we were lonely. We had gone to look at two other dogs first and never had anything like that happen.

I have only dreamed of her twice. Just a few days after her death I dreamed I saw her out in a field of beautiful flowers. She was waiting for me but I could never get close to her. She seemed young and healthy and she eventually just faded away. The other time she was in the back yard running as fast as she could to get to me. She was her old Missy but as she got closer she started changing until she was young and lively and healthy again. I believe these were signs that she is young and healthy and happy now.

Just leave your mind open for subtle little things like this. It isn't crazy or morbid. It will just be Amber's way of showing you she is alright. 

I hope I haven't creeped you out.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

I wish I would feel some sign of her around. All I feel is emptiness. She could never go the whole night without a scratch. She would come over to me and tap me with her paw once or twice a night and I always complied. I wake up in the morning fully rested and actually miss the interrupted sleep. I can see a bunch of noseprints on the slidng door in the back as well. She died right by that door. I look at that spot on the floor as some sort of portal to the next world. I just want her back so badly. *"Amber--COME!"*


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

Awwww Julie.... this is really a sad time in your life ... but as Brad Paisley says "A pain like that is fast, and its rare". It hurts sooo bad but relief WILL come in time. It wont stop unless youve cried your tears, and grieved. Its a bad deal that it has to happen like this, but Amber feels better now! Shes smiling looking down on you and Im sure wants you to be happy to. Smile for her, even if you have to cry at the same time!


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## AtticusJordie (Aug 15, 2006)

Marie Welch said:


> Julie I always said our truck windows looked like they were frosted. There is still some of the frosting on them because it was hard to remove.
> 
> Look for her in unexpected places. I have a friend that told me she has a dog that comes back to visit from time to time. Just before reading of Missy's death she was at her computer. Her dog paid her a visit and had another dog with him. He relayed a message, don't worry mom, I'll take care of her. Shortly after she learned that Missy was gone. She didn't tell me this right away because she was afraid I would think she was nuts. She says he has brought Missy to visit 2 other times. She wrote one day and asked if Missy had a very fluffy tail that just moved slowly and gracefully. Then when I said yes, she said Missy had been there. Some of you may think this is nuts but Terry and I believe it.
> 
> ...


Marie Welch--I am stunned. Those stories are beautiful! I truely believe that our kids remain with us even after their physical bodies have left us. I am so glad that you related those stories--Bless you.

SJ


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## AtticusJordie (Aug 15, 2006)

videochicke said:


> I wish I would feel some sign of her around. All I feel is emptiness. She could never go the whole night without a scratch. She would come over to me and tap me with her paw once or twice a night and I always complied. I wake up in the morning fully rested and actually miss the interrupted sleep. I can see a bunch of noseprints on the slidng door in the back as well. She died right by that door. I look at that spot on the floor as some sort of portal to the next world. I just want her back so badly. *"Amber--COME!"*


I am sooo sorry for your loss.

I certainly don't know for sure--but in the midst of your pain--I'd try to keep an open mind. When she's ready--I think Amber will give you a sign that she is happy where she is--and will be waiting for you when it is your time to cross the Bridge.

SJ


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## Misslane&lois (Nov 18, 2007)

i am so sorry for your loss.... i am agree with atticusjordie!!! amber will let you know how happy she is and I am sure that she will take care of you!!! goldens use to do it, FOREVER!!!!
I understand what you must feel, because I lost my Odey and I understand how hard it is, but you will overcome that sadness step by step and when you remember amber you will do it with a smile.
remember sweet moments and all what you gave her and what she gave you

take care and be strong.
a lot of hugs and kisses


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## LifeOfRiley (Nov 2, 2007)

videochicke said:


> I wish I would feel some sign of her around. All I feel is emptiness. She could never go the whole night without a scratch. She would come over to me and tap me with her paw once or twice a night and I always complied. I wake up in the morning fully rested and actually miss the interrupted sleep. I can see a bunch of noseprints on the slidng door in the back as well. She died right by that door. I look at that spot on the floor as some sort of portal to the next world. I just want her back so badly. *"Amber--COME!"*


I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this, Julie. I know how heart-wrenching it is.
It was 7 months ago, yesterday, that we lost Cooper and while it has gotten a bit easier, it still hurts. I guess it's gone from a suffocating pain to a dull ache.

The nights were hardest for us, too. My mom had it worse than I did, because Coop always slept with her. She found herself waking up every time she rolled over and _didn't_ bump into him. Once every night, he'd come in with me, sneak one little kiss (just enough to wake me up) and go back to mom's room. 
We started leaving our TVs on at night. I know it sounds silly, but the quiet was just too much and that little bit of distraction has helped us both sleep through the night.

And I agree - leave those noseprints on the door as long as you need to. I still have spots of blood on my living room curtain from the night that Cooper had his horrific nosebleed. I can't bring myself to have them cleaned. It would feel like I was erasing every sign of his being here and, after 7 months, I'm still not ready to do that.

And yes, I try to feel some sense of him, too, and don't. Sometimes I think that maybe we try _too_ hard, if that makes any sense? I think that maybe we're looking so hard for the big sign that we miss the little ones.


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## Thalie (Jan 20, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss of Amber. I can only imagine what you are feeling since I have not lost any of mine. I dread the day it will happen because I think I will feel just like you. You have my deepest sympathy.


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## linktrek (Nov 17, 2007)

Jazzys Mom said:


> Videochicke ---- A few posts back you asked if when Amber leaves you is this all there is.
> 
> My opinion is emphatically NO. I'll never forget what my wonderful vet said to me when I knew my Flirt was losing her battle with renal failure and lymphoma. I asked him if he thought dogs would be in heaven and he said,
> 
> ...


I agree with this 100%. If God loves us so much than I'm sure He has enough love for our pets too. I am convinced that we will have our pets in heaven.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

Scooter would lay at the low window in Ron's room with his head on the sill watching for Ron's truck to pull up. The sill seemed to stay dirty, the bottom pane covered with nose prints. Scooter died Aug. 1999 and we painted that roon after Ron married and moved. EXCEPT I didn't wash and paint the sill nor clean nose prints off that window. To this day they are still there along with that almost brown window sill--which i am going to clean after 8 1/2 years.

After Hunter died i didn't vacuum our bedroom for over 3 months. i just couldn't bring myself to "throw away" any more of him than i had to.


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## Jazzys Mom (Mar 13, 2007)

I have never told this to anyone before. When Flirty was so sick she was having blood drawn constantly. I saved a vial of her blood and it is still kept at the back of my fridge. Flirty died April 2000. Hubby saw it for the first time last week (just goes to show you how often he rumages through the fridge all the way to the back) and asked me what it was. I reluctantly told him and then told him "just don't say anything and put it back where you found it!" He shoved it back in the fridge, shut the door and never mentioned it again!

Jazzys Mom


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## SandraC (Jan 29, 2008)

I'm so so so sorry to hear about your baby. It's very hard to lose them. I lost my one in a million golden 2 1/2 years ago and I still cry for her. But you can't let them suffer. When we bring these wonderful creatures into our homes, we are promising to love them, nourish them and protect them. That includes protecting them from pain and suffering. Keep a close watch on your baby's eyes. They'll tell you when it's time. Until then, spoil your baby rotten with all of the love and hugs and kisses possible. Then just plan on meeting up on the other side of the bridge. And cherish all of the memories. They'll make you cry at first but then you just start smiling at them and they'll warm your heart. Hugs to you. My heart breaks for you.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

After I put my GSD Nikki down in Aug 2006, the vet sent me a card with her foot print stamped on a card sealed with some of her fur. I screamed in horror when I opened that card. It just made everything so real, but I was glad they thought to do it.

After I had to put Goliath down this past August, before I left his body, I requested that they did the same thing. 

I treasure those cards with the fur and foot prints.


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## videochicke (Dec 29, 2007)

cubbysan said:


> After I put my GSD Nikki down in Aug 2006, the vet sent me a card with her foot print stamped on a card sealed with some of her fur. I screamed in horror when I opened that card. It just made everything so real, but I was glad they thought to do it.
> 
> After I had to put Goliath down this past August, before I left his body, I requested that they did the same thing.
> 
> I treasure those cards with the fur and foot prints.


That was really thoughtful of your vet. Our vet knows our dog died. And we just got something in the mail from them as well---a reminder that Amber is due for her shots. :banghead:


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## Marie Welch (Jan 25, 2008)

Our vet sends out sympathy cards too. I clipped hair from Missy's side near her heart and some from her fluffy rump after she died. My dear friends from another golden group sent me a locket in memory and I carry a little of her hair with me. While we were searching for Bonnie, I wore it nearly all the time hoping Missy would help me find a new girl. She did and Bonnie is precious.


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## texas golden's mom (Jan 8, 2008)

You will eventually move your memories just a tad to make room for another golden. I've had five goldens. The first was stolen out of our fenced and locked yard, the second one and love of my life (from the Tigathoe Kennel...all of our dogs have come through that line,) died waiting for me to come home. My last two deceased dogs died in my house in my lap because my vet was the golden breeder through whom we had gotten all of our dogs. By far the most difficult one for me was my my beloved girl who died waiting for me to come home from work. The others knew they were loved with the last breath they drew. It was the greatest gift I could have given them to take away all the pain and suffering. When I was a child, my father always told me my dogs went to the Happy Hunting Ground. I'm sure they are in a pond waiting for me to come shoot some ducks for them. We know Heaven is going to be perfect; therefore, there will be OUR dogs waiting for us.


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## texas golden's mom (Jan 8, 2008)

So very, very sorry about your loss. You know you'll never love another dog the same way nor be loved in the same way by another dog. You can, however, move your memories over and make space for another golden. I now have my fifth golden; all different, all loved, and all add to by life. My first was stollen out of our fenced and locked yard, our second, and dearest to my heart, died at the door ( at age nine)waiting for me to come home. My third (age 4...lymphoma) and fourth (age 14 with very late diagnosed LS disease)died in my home in my arms being stroked and told how much they were loved. Our vet was a golden breeder,got all of our dogs for us and was thoughtful and generous enough to send them on their journey at our home. I continue to grieve for my wonderful dog who died waiting for me to come home from work. They all came through the Tigathoe kennel. Now we have a purchased rescue type golden because we HAD to have a dog. She is out of confirmation stock and I just hope we can teach her some working habits. Many years ago when I was a child, my father told me dogs went to the Happy Hunting Ground. I believe mine are there in the pond just waiting for my to shoot some ducks for them to retrieve. We know Heaven is a perfect place, and not place is perfect without dogs. Our dogs are buried in th front yard at our ranch and are joined by a cow who was almost human. Only in Texas!


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## texas golden's mom (Jan 8, 2008)

Amber is there! You'll find her fur everywhere, there will be a collar when you least expect it. At first you will be raw, then you'll find that you can laugh at some of the memories of you beautiful girl. Eventually, you can move those memories just a tad and make room for another golden...because nothing loves you like a golden, and then you'll find yourself with another one. I've had five. My first was stollen out of our fenced and locked yard, our second (and my most beloved) literally died at the door at age nine while waiting for me to come home. Our third golden died in my arms at my house of lymphoma and my old fourteen year old just died in my arms in my ranch house. This was done because our vet was a bolden breeder who got our dogs for us out of the Tigathoe Kennel, well, the last two were off-springs of Tagathoe dogs. They were close to human with huge vocabularies, gentle mouths and strong hunting instincts. Our newest is a rescue golden. We have a way to go with her, but love her for who and what she is. She returns our love in kind. I've always believed God made a lab for Adam, then saw that Eve required even more love and affection along with silky fur to stroke and gave her a golden. We know that Heaven is perfect, so our dogs will be there. Our own five golden dogs are all buried in the front yard at our ranch...along with a cow who thought she was human. Only in Texas! I pray that you will soon laugh again as you think of your special girl and remember the joy she gave you. I have no regrets about the two who died in my arms. It will always pain me that my precious one died alone.


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