# Suggestions for helping my grieving dog?



## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Hi everyone...as I wrote yesterday we lost our handsome Golden Simon on Jan 27th. We're all suffering but i'm really noticing my 7 year old is not doing well. We've had her every day since she was a puppy (10 weeks) and her and Simon were never separated. Because my husband and I both work they were companions during the day. Now she's alone and I really don't know how she's coping when we're not home. She's moping a lot and not her outgoing, playful self. We're both taking her for lots of walks and car rides to keep her distracted. She's sleeping on Simon's blanket instead of on the bed with us. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated. (I hope this is the right place to ask this question). Thanks....


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sophieanne*



sophieanne said:


> Hi everyone...as I wrote yesterday we lost our handsome Golden Simon on Jan 27th. We're all suffering but i'm really noticing my 7 year old is not doing well. We've had her every day since she was a puppy (10 weeks) and her and Simon were never separated. Because my husband and I both work they were companions during the day. Now she's alone and I really don't know how she's coping when we're not home. She's moping a lot and not her outgoing, playful self. We're both taking her for lots of walks and car rides to keep her distracted. She's sleeping on Simon's blanket instead of on the bed with us. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated. (I hope this is the right place to ask this question). Thanks....


Is there anyway you can have a trusted friend or someone your vet recommends come in and walk her midday. Glad you're playing with her a lot. 
We've had 2 dogs now for 20 plus years and when we lose one, the other is always devastated. For us, the only solution we to get another dog. If you aren't ready for another dog, maybe you would like to foster for a rescue?


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Karen519 said:


> Is there anyway you can have a trusted friend or someone your vet recommends come in and walk her midday. Glad you're playing with her a lot.
> We've had 2 dogs now for 20 plus years and when we lose one, the other is always devastated. For us, the only solution we to get another dog. If you aren't ready for another dog, maybe you would like to foster for a rescue?


Hi Karen,

The good news is my husband and I both work close to home so we do come home every day and take her for a walk.

We know another dog will come into the picture..just not quite yet. I know me too well, if I were to foster a dog it would have it's forever home.

I know it's the answer...just don't want to move too quickly.

Thanks so much for your note.

P.S. - Just had to mention...my name is actually Karen also


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Karen*

Another Karen!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Giving her extra attention is good, you are already doing that. Coming in during the day would probably help her too. It will take time for her to grieve, just like it does for us. Just love her, she will work through it.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Thank you Mylissyk..i appreciate your note very much. BTW the picture of your dogs are beauiful!


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

As terrible as you feel about Simon times that by 10 for how badly your girl feels.
Extra love, attention, rides in the car, playtime anything to take her away from her loss. You seem to be covering all that.
Maybe a nice massage right before she retires for the night may help.
I would also put Simon's blanket on your bed.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Tennyson said:


> As terrible as you feel about Simon times that by 10 for how badly your girl feels.
> Extra love, attention, rides in the car, playtime anything to take her away from her loss. You seem to be covering all that.
> Maybe a nice massage right before she retires for the night may help.
> I would also put Simon's blanket on your bed.


Thanks Tennyson,

That is actually a great idea...since it's the weekend what a perfect time to try out the blanket on the bed idea. And a massage always does a world of good. I really appreciate your note.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

So very sorry for the loss of Simon. You're doing all the right things. Sometimes it takes a while. When we lost Di, Max was devastated. He went on a hunger strike. It took him at least 6 months. The first 3 months were really hard, but we saw a big improvement after 6 months. They grieve just as we do. So sorry that you're all going through this sad time.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family. 

I lost my Bridge boy three years ago, I also have a Golden girl who was very very close to her brother and was grieving as much as we were. 

She is a former puppy mill girl and will always need to be with another dog. She started regressing and withdrawing, I knew I had to get another dog ASAP for her sake even though we weren't ready. 

Three weeks after my boy passed, I found a young golden boy in my County Shelter and I adopted him. He has been so good for her and us too.

If you aren't ready for another dog yet, I would do as others have suggested, just love on her as much as possible, try to do some special things with her. She needs the time to grieve and the time to heal as much as you do.

Be there for her and she will be there for you.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

sophieanne said:


> Thanks Tennyson,
> 
> That is actually a great idea...since it's the weekend what a perfect time to try out the blanket on the bed idea. And a massage always does a world of good. I really appreciate your note.


Just wondering how your girl was this weekend?


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## KeaColorado (Jan 2, 2013)

I have a pet sitting client who signed her girl up for extra dog walks after their other dog passed away. It really helped to have someone else coming over who was upbeat and to give some extra attention to the other dog. They did get a puppy later that year, but the dog walker was good support for the dog and her family. I'm so sorry, I know how hard it is


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Tennyson said:


> Just wondering how your girl was this weekend?


 Hi again...she's still very upset but we're all working on being happy together. I put Simon's blanket on the bed and she jumped on it for a while then got down. Strangely enough when she jumped down I didn't want her to miss the blanket so put it in it's familiar spot...she actually jumped up on the bed and spent the whole night with us, which is the first time in the last 2 weeks. We're just doing the one day and a time thing and i'm doing everything to maintain the happiest disposition when I'm with her even if my heart is breaking.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

Glad you came back and let us know how she's doing as well as your family.
Sounds like your making progress. Baby steps! It's just so difficult right now. Seeing your girl grieve has to be heart wrenching.
But I think you're doing quite a job dealing with this and in time you're going to see your girl back to her old self.
If we lived closer I'd bring my nuthouse boy over and no doubt he would take her mind off Simon. Then she would sleep for 2 days.
Keep doing what your doing. It's working. Grieving can be a long process for anyone but especially a canine.


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## Finn's Fan (Dec 22, 2007)

Karen, I'm sorry that your Simon got his angel wings. It's so hard and the grief for human and canine alike takes a lot of adjusting to. Any chance you can sign her up for a couple of days of doggie daycare to totally get her out of her routine and have some doggie playtime? For some, going to daycare is so fun and tiring that all they do is sleep the day after. Wishing you all peace as you learn to live without your other family member.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Hi..that's something to think about. I put the two of them in doggy daycare when we first got her 7 years ago....of course she spent her whole time, playing with Simon


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sophieanne*



sophieanne said:


> Hi again...she's still very upset but we're all working on being happy together. I put Simon's blanket on the bed and she jumped on it for a while then got down. Strangely enough when she jumped down I didn't want her to miss the blanket so put it in it's familiar spot...she actually jumped up on the bed and spent the whole night with us, which is the first time in the last 2 weeks. We're just doing the one day and a time thing and i'm doing everything to maintain the happiest disposition when I'm with her even if my heart is breaking.


Sophieanne: Does she like to be brushed? I know for some dogs this is a very bonding and soothing experience.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Karen519 said:


> Sophieanne: Does she like to be brushed? I know for some dogs this is a very bonding and soothing experience.


Hi Karen...I'm allowed 5 minutes to brush her and that's it..then she has places to go and peple to see...Simon loved being brushed for hours on end...Sophie has other things to do with her time


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Simon. My heart aches for you, your husband and Sophie. She is lucky that you recognize her grief for what it is.

Doggy daycare is an excellent suggestion. She has lost her best friend and needs reassurance from her own kind.

Like Karen519, I have found that getting another dog is the solution for one left behind. Often I get a puppy when my senior dog is 8 or 9, so the senior can enjoy the puppy before getting old enough to find a youngster too challenging. I write that knowing my rambunctious 3.5 year old Sunshine Girl is the best thing for my 13.5 year old Joker, keeping him young in many ways.

Peace be with you.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

GoldensGirl said:


> I'm so sorry for your loss of Simon. My heart aches for you, your husband and Sophie. She is lucky that you recognize her grief for what it is.
> 
> Like Karen519, I have found that getting another dog is the solution for one left behind. Often I get a puppy when my senior dog is 8 or 9, so the senior can enjoy the puppy before getting old enough to find a youngster too challenging. I write that knowing my rambunctious 3.5 year old Sunshine Girl is the best thing for my 13.5 year old Joker, keeping him young in many ways.
> 
> Peace be with you.


Hi and thanks for your note. We're started doing some online research to possibly adopt a new dog but I think it's going to take some time to find a new family member. I'm more than a little nervous of the health issues of the golden breed so I really want to check backgrounds first. I was thinking of adopting a rescue dog but there don't seem to be any right now in the Olympia, WA area.


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## Lilliam (Apr 28, 2010)

I'm so sorry your girl is grieving. It's one reason I'm so concerned about my Billy's advancing age, Max will grieve when Billy is gone.

I would also suggest the doggy day care route. Billy and Max go to doggy day care on the days that I go to work (Monday and Tuesday and then Thursday and Friday) and on the occasional additional days that I telework, either because of weather or simply because I have the option to work from home. They love going there, and they have their doggy friends. It's so adorable, seeing them greet each other when I drop them off in the mornings.

I'm sure that your golden will appreciate making new friends and having activities. I would research carefully, visit the facility, ask about vet support in case of emergencies, and ask about how they manage the dogs. Ideally there would be small groups of dogs of similar size but also similar activity level. And ALWAYS supervised play.

I hope this would be a good solution to help with the grieving process. Then you won't feel the pressure to bring a dog home before you're emotionally ready, but yet your golden's healing process continues.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Hi and thank you for your note Lilliam. So many things and ideas going through my head. One day at a time and eventually we'll figure it out.


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## Wilbur'sDad (Feb 19, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss of Simon. We were devastated when we lost our first boy at 11 1/2 and the girl, who was 5, was definitely experiencing her own version of grief. We stayed close to her, including her in some activities that she might have missed before and generally kept her near - but I'm sure she picked up on our grief as well.  About 3 months later through a strange chain of events, I met some people with the local Golden Retriever Rescue organization. They told us how desperate they were for foster homes for some of their potential adoptees and wouldn't we consider giving it a shot. We certainly weren't ready for having a new full time member of the family (I'm not saying you shouldn't do it - it just wasn't yet the right time for us) but I thought hey, if I can help out another dog for a while - imagining that's what our boy would have liked - I said let's give it a shot. So we signed up a little apprehensively and within a week had a wonderful girl. She stayed with us only for about a week before she had her new forever home. Then we had a great boy for about 2 weeks. Then another for 3 weeks and one more after that! We loved each and every one of them - all different ages and personalities. In our mind, it was almost like we were the relatives that they came to visit on vacation for a while until they went home - good food, new neighborhood and playmates. And they all went to great homes which made it a very happy experience - especially when we met some of the kids who were over the moon about their adoptee. Kind of weird, I know, but for us it worked - Bellatrix, Mozart, Harley and Sam (funny how I remember each of them and it was over 5 years ago!) The surprising thing was that our girl actually seemed to enjoy them - after the first day of 'who are you and why are you here??' had passed. At the end of those 4 fosters, we were about ready to expand the family - and we did. This was actually a very healing thing for us and I'm glad I did it - we never knew who we were going to get, which made it a bit of an adventure, but each one was wonderful.
Sending good thoughts to you and your girl.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Hi Wilbur's Dad..i really appreciate your note (and everyone else who has replied).
It was nice to read you experience. My biggest fear is that I agree to foster a dog and then I don't want to turn it over to it's new forever home. But it is definately something we're going to think about.


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