# Conflicted but hopeful



## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

Hello friends - 

Sorry in advance this will be a long post - but I need to share this with people who I believe will understand. First a little background I have volunteered for the rescue I got Remy from for years now. Typically I just do home visits and interview potential adopters. On a very few occasions I have had to pull a dog out of a bad placement and foster for a few days.

So Thursday I got a phone call from the rescue asking if I could foster - my gut reaction was no it is too soon and I began to cry. Then I very quickly mentally smacked myself thinking how could I leave a dog in a bad situation and said of course - where am I going for the pick up and how long will the dog be with me. The rescue said no this dog is still in Tennessee they would get her up to me, and the foster would be until they found a home. I was like WTH they have never transported a dog north without having an adopter identified - at first she claimed the were out of fosters. I told her that while I appreciate. admire and am in awe of people who can foster, I am 100% confident that I would be a foster failure.

So I asked her to tell me about the dog. She is a 15 month old purebred golden in perfect health and was an owner surrender because they were just overwhelmed with a puppy. Through my tears I found myself saying fine I will adopt her, and hating myself as I said it. I was feeling like I was betraying Remy somehow. But as the idea sunk in, I started getting a bit excited for this new pup. Nothing will ever fill the hole in my heart that Remy left, but this dog is not and will not be Remy. She is Rosie and will be special in her very own way and that made me smile.

I didn't realize until that night that I have been depressed since Remy died - to the point that I would come home at night, stuff every sugary carb I could find down my throat and then head straight to bed. But that night I went home and started completing tasks I kept avoiding - like writing thank you notes for condolence cards I had been sent and laundering all of Remy's toys (many of which are left over from prior pups) - not necessarily moving on, but starting to move nonetheless.

The next day I told the rescuer that I was weepy but still sort of excited and she sent me the most insightful quotes, which I am copying below because it is so true and so well said:

"You couldn't feel such grief and devastation unless there had first been a tremendous love between you; And you'll never, ever find any other dog that will fill "that aching hole in your heart," but you will find another who will make a very special place of her very own in your heart; And you shouldn't just wait for all that you're feeling to slowly fade away, but honor the memory of your departed best friend by going right out and bringing another dog into your home and heart. And the first night you have your new dog home you'll be down on the floor, kneeling with your new girl, hugging her with great heaving sobs and tears streaming down your cheeks as you remember the dog you've lost. And your new girl won't understand the tears - but she'll happily lick them away."

When I read that it finally dawned on me - years ago when Remy first got diagnosed with kidney disease I called the rescue crying and asked them to promise me that when I lose him they will make me adopt another dog. So I wrote her back and asked if that promise had prompted the call. She admitted that since Remy passed she had been keeping her eye out for a dog that would be right for me - knowing that it would have to be someone young and in perfect health (even I know I cannot do another special needs right now) - this little girl just got surrendered sooner than she expected.

So in a nutshell - I had stopped crying as much over my loss but now I find myself completely weepy nearly all the time, but also looking forward to my sweet Rosie coming next week. And thus I am conflicted, but in a good way I guess.

I sure hope you guys understand - and I look forward to sharing Rosie's life with all of you. I have attached a picture of her from the rescue.

XO
Lenna


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

Rosie is BEAUTIFUL. What a wonderful post to start my day. It feels so right to honor Remy this way. I am so happy for you and Rosie. I am so glad you took the time to post and share this wonderful turn of events . It gives all of us hope.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

goldy1 said:


> Rosie is BEAUTIFUL. What a wonderful post to start my day. It feels so right to honor Remy this way. I am so happy for you and Rosie. I am so glad you took the time to post and share this wonderful turn of events . It gives all of us hope.


 Thanks hopefully between now and when she arrives next weekend I will be able to stop crying. It's so weird I am deeply sobbing for my boy - but still looking forward to her arrival.

perhaps I am bipolar?


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## Monkey&Marshall (Aug 17, 2015)

Awww, Rosie! I love her already!!!! 
It is true that they can't fill the hole, but they definitely burrow a new one. I can't wait to get the next update ! <3


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

Aww, she's gorgeous! I'm so happy for you!


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

I am 2 weeks post losing the love of my life, 14.5 yr old Duke--my rescue boy adopted at the age of 11. I fully understand the conflicted emotions, spending my days keeping it together for work but losing it at home each night when it is so painfully obvious that my little boy is gone still confused, wondering where he went as he was so full of life the night he journeyed to the bridge. But I also know, there is still room in my heart to love and hope to welcome another sweet boy into my life this Summer and my two golden girls need a boy again to be the center of our household. 

My thoughts will be with you as you welcome this new little one into your life and hope that you're able to welcome her with open arms in the same manner you loved (and continue to love and honor) Remy.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Lenna*



Lennap said:


> Hello friends -
> 
> Sorry in advance this will be a long post - but I need to share this with people who I believe will understand. First a little background I have volunteered for the rescue I got Remy from for years now. Typically I just do home visits and interview potential adopters. On a very few occasions I have had to pull a dog out of a bad placement and foster for a few days.
> 
> ...


I am jumping up and down for you and Rosie, you will both help each other!
That is so beautiful what you wrote about your Remy and how you asked the rescue to make you adopt, again, and they did that. I really believe that Remy had his paws in this and can't wait until you tell us about next weekend, when Rosie comes home. I completely agree with the person that said they will never fill the hole the other left, but will burrow a new one in our heart!!
This was meant to be. All of the dogs Ken and I have adopted have been in the same age range!
Rosie is just beautiful. I have a special place in my heart for female Goldens. Smooch, a rescue, was my first Golden.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

SheetsSM said:


> I am 2 weeks post losing the love of my life, 14.5 yr old Duke--my rescue boy adopted at the age of 11. I fully understand the conflicted emotions, spending my days keeping it together for work but losing it at home each night when it is so painfully obvious that my little boy is gone still confused, wondering where he went as he was so full of life the night he journeyed to the bridge. But I also know, there is still room in my heart to love and hope to welcome another sweet boy into my life this Summer and my two golden girls need a boy again to be the center of our household.
> 
> My thoughts will be with you as you welcome this new little one into your life and hope that you're able to welcome her with open arms in the same manner you loved (and continue to love and honor) Remy.


 OMG my heart is with you - huge HUGS. It is so hard to lose them. They are pure and genuine and huge bundles of love - I am so sorry for your loss.

I have said for quite some time that I will probably end up with two this time. So they have each other when I am not around, etc. but I know part of that is for me, when you lose one you still have the other. Lately I have been thinking that long term I probably want three - then no one is ever alone.

Oh dear perhaps I am a bipolar dog collector?


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

Karen519 said:


> I am jumping up and down for you and Rosie, you will both help each other!
> That is so beautiful what you wrote about your Remy and how you asked the rescue to make you adopt, again, and they did that. I really believe that Remy had his paws in this and can't wait until you tell us about next weekend, when Rosie comes home. I completely agree with the person that said they will never fill the hole the other left, but will burrow a new one in our heart!!
> This was meant to be. All of the dogs Ken and I have adopted have been in the same age range!


Thanks Karen, somehow I knew you would understand and be happy for me/us. I remain conflicted though - I think it may be too soon. Then again what do I know - I remain single because it takes me 5-10 years to get over every break up. Perhaps I need to become more resilient?! Gee you think?


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Rosie*



Lennap said:


> Thanks Karen, somehow I knew you would understand and be happy for me/us. I remain conflicted though - I think it may be too soon. Then again what do I know - I remain single because it takes me 5-10 years to get over every break up. Perhaps I need to become more resilient?! Gee you think?


I think once you and Rosie meet you will LOVE her!! In a different way, but you will. It is so LONELY without a dog to love. Also, those tears are a way of healing and there may be some happy tears when you two meet, too.
Ken and I obviously don't hesitate over decisions, we adopted Tucker the day after our Smooch went to the Bridge, but HE NEEDED a home. We love him very much, too. Believe it or not, Smooch and he do have differences and similarities. Have you met her yet?


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

> "You couldn't feel such grief and devastation unless there had first been a tremendous love between you; And you'll never, ever find any other dog that will fill "that aching hole in your heart," but you will find another who will make a very special place of her very own in your heart; And you shouldn't just wait for all that you're feeling to slowly fade away, but honor the memory of your departed best friend by going right out and bringing another dog into your home and heart. And the first night you have your new dog home you'll be down on the floor, kneeling with your new girl, hugging her with great heaving sobs and tears streaming down your cheeks as you remember the dog you've lost. And your new girl won't understand the tears - but she'll happily lick them away."


This says it all......

I truly believe we can never replace one dog with another, each dog is so very special and unique and each holds a very special place in our hearts. We can choose to honor our previous dog(s) by opening our hearts and home to another in need, giving them the love and care we gave to our previous ones. 
Our past dogs would be so very happy and proud that we are.

Rosie is beautiful, she sounds like a wonderful girl. I also believe that dogs come into our lives for a reason and we find the ones we are meant to have. I hope she brings you much love and joy, and helps your heart heal. 

Here is one of my favorite poems-



> It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. - Anonymous


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

Karen519 said:


> I think once you and Rosie meet you will LOVE her!! In a different way, but you will. It is so LONELY without a dog to love. Also, those tears are a way of healing and there may be some happy tears when you two meet, too.
> Ken and I obviously don't hesitate over decisions, we adopted Tucker the day after our Smooch went to the Bridge, but HE NEEDED a home. We love him very much, too. Believe it or not, Smooch and he do have differences and similarities. Have you met her yet?


 
No I have not met her yet, but she sounds like an untrained typical golden puppy. I am looking forward to bringing her to a place where she will be able to focus that energy and be the dog she is meant to be.


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## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

I'm so happy for you. Your not bipolar, you're bi-pup-ular. Your heart will always bellng to Remy but there is room in your heart for Rosie too.


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## rabernet (Feb 24, 2015)

I am so happy to read this update this morning! Every person needs to grieve in their own way, but I absolutely believe that the best way to honor the memory of our beloved lost pets is to share that love with another. 

When we lost Diamond last year, we planned to wait before we decided to get another dog. A day after she was gone, I was online looking at rescues, the shelter, Craigslist pets, because I was hoping to see a dog who spoke to me. 

I'm adopted. When I was searching for my birth family, some people thought that it meant I yearned and loved my birth family more than my adoptive family. I would respond that a mother can love more than one child without loving any one of the less, just differently. Why can't a child love more than one mother without taking anything from either of them? My adoptive mother is my "real" mom, and my adoptive father is my "real" dad - they raised me to be the woman I am today. I would never wish for a different set of parents. 

The same things goes with my pets - I can love more than one pet and not take anything away from those that came before. It doesn't mean that I'm dishonoring or betraying their memory or love - their love gives me the capacity to love even more!

We lasted 2 weeks before we found and met Noah and brought him home a week later. I was so emotional on the hour and a half drive out to meet him - my heart was beating out of my chest, I was taking deep breaths and then I saw a large mural with Diamond across the top, and I just knew that Diamond was assuring me that this was the right decision. It turned out to be the best decision for us, even though we were still grieving deeply for Diamond. Now we can't imagine our life without this silly goofy boy that has wormed his own special place into our heart. And by the way - on the drive back the following week, I made sure to stop, take a picture of the mural and to take some moments to talk to my girl and thank her for her sign and promise her that we would share the love she gave us with her new little brother. 

I'm confident that Rosie will help to heal your heart as well, and Remy will be so proud of you for opening your heart and home to her!

I look forward to following your journey of falling in love with Rosie!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Aw-ww*



Lennap said:


> No I have not met her yet, but she sounds like an untrained typical golden puppy. I am looking forward to bringing her to a place where she will be able to focus that energy and be the dog she is meant to be.


Aw-www! Rosie will worm your way into her own place in your heart. I think it's coincidental (?) that her name is Rosie, Rosie and Remy. When we adopted Tucker, that was his name, we had our Samoyed, Tonka, and I remarked on how they were both T's. I agree with Carolina Mom and Rabernet, that this is the way to honor the dog you loved so much.


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

I am so happy for you. Rosie is absolutely lovely and it is as I have always said about rescue dogs...we don't rescue them. They rescue us. I am looking forward to seeing lots of pics of your beautiful girl.


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## tikiandme (May 16, 2010)

Congratulations. Rosie is gorgeous!


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## Amystelter (Jul 31, 2013)

*I get it*

I lost my sweet buddy 14 months ago of a sudden heart attack at only 10. At least that is what we think. I grieved really hard but really fast. It was only two weeks and I was looking to get on a list. Lucy came home a year ago and Louie followed six months later. I had benji, my 7 year old Shi Zu to cuddle and cry with but we were lonely. We had love to give and I just knew we needed someone to give it to. I never felt conflicted but now I have three... I get you, best of luck and I look forward to see Pics!

QUOTE=Lennap;6398162]OMG my heart is with you - huge HUGS. It is so hard to lose them. They are pure and genuine and huge bundles of love - I am so sorry for your loss.

I have said for quite some time that I will probably end up with two this time. So they have each other when I am not around, etc. but I know part of that is for me, when you lose one you still have the other. Lately I have been thinking that long term I probably want three - then no one is ever alone.

Oh dear perhaps I am a bipolar dog collector?[/QUOTE]


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

WONDERFUL!!!! I call those God Winks. Remy has certainly had her paw in bringing you another to love and cherish.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Lenna, I am SO beyond happy to see this. I understood every single word of your post - it was as if I'd written it myself. I was in a little cave of sadness after Tesia died, too, and it really took me making a decision not to stay there to move forward. And, like you, the prospect of the new puppy did it for me, too. Suddenly I had something to look forward to. It sounds like your rescue friends are very good friends to you. They care a lot. And clearly know you well. This sounds like it is just meant to be. And as you said, she will not replace Remy in your heart at all. Not one bit. I was so afraid I would never be able to love a new puppy as much as I loved Tee, but I was so amazed when she came into my life, that my heart just got bigger and made room for her in there, too. They are truly the best thing for a broken heart. You will never regret your decision to bring her home. Big hug to you.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I am so, so happy for you, but even more so for Rosie!


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

I agree that the human soul has the ability to love more than one being. You are in no way diminishing Remy's memory by extending your love/heart to Rosie. I can't wait to meet her on here with lots of pictures


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## 4goldengirls (Jun 10, 2014)

Rosie is beautiful and she will help you thru your depression in so many ways. It was meant to be.


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

So happy that you and Rosie have found each other. She's gorgeous and reminds me of our Gracie who is quite a handful. Each of our Goldens has been unique with their own strengths and weaknesses. I'm guessing you'll find the same to be true of Rosie.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

I, too, believe that Remy's paws are all over this. Good job Remy, good job.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

What a beautiful story. I am so happy for you. Rosie is going to be a lucky pup and you will be rescued too.


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

Rosie is absolutely beautiful! I truly believe things happen for a reason and it sure seems like this girl needs you and you need her. And...I also believe that Remy had something to do with this.


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## Tiny R Astar (Dec 26, 2015)

Hi
I can totally understand how you feel. When we lost our 14yr old last August I was totally devastated and lost. Then for my birthday in October my husband gave me a voucher with a picture of some week old goldens and said one of them would be mine. I was so torn I felt it was far too soon. Yet at the same time It was instant love when I saw those little pups; excitement but terrible terrible guilt. I felt I was betraying my shadow . My husband told me that there would never be a good or right time to get another dog because I would feel these mixed emotions as I awaited the pups arrival even if I waited years to get another dog.
I cried with grief and joy when our new pup arrived home and felt guilty for having him and guilty for being sad around him when he was so adorable and just wanted my love.
5 months down the line I have come to accept and realise that I will never stop missing my soul dog, yet I quickly came to love Albie. I don't have to feel guilty because he makes me smile every day, he is not replacing my old dog. Our relationship is totally separate. 
Albie's antics help me honour Ranger in a positive way because as I smile at him I often recall happy memories of Ranger too, rather than the sad and painful ones I dwelt on before Albie arrived. 
You can be excited about and totally love Rosie without losing any of the love and bond you shared with Remy. There is a space for each in your heart. 
Giving Rosie a loving and stable new home can only be a good thing.She must be feeling confused, lost and grieving for her old family right now just as you are grieving for Remy. You can help each other build a new friendship and find happiness again. So happy for you both.

Good Luck.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

Thank you everyone for your excitement and support. Each time I have come to this thread I have just cried my eyes out - which is why I have not been responding to each of you individually - I'm sorry I just can't

But I appreciate and every one of your posts more than you can imagine. It is so hard for me to understand my own actions here, let alone expecting anyone to understand is just mind blowing.

so THANK YOU!!


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

TheZ's said:


> So happy that you and Rosie have found each other. She's gorgeous and reminds me of our Gracie who is quite a handful. Each of our Goldens has been unique with their own strengths and weaknesses. I'm guessing you'll find the same to be true of Rosie.


Wow uncanny that you should say that specifically. Your Zoe and my Remy started their kidney issues right around the same time. I must admit I cried my eyes out when Zoe passed, and could not believe I had Remy for so much longer (of course their issues were different). For you to say Rosie reminds you have Gracie so much to me within that context - so thank you. And thank you for unknowingly showing me the way to try to move forward.

XO


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

CarnelleyLamb said:


> Hi
> I can totally understand how you feel. When we lost our 14yr old last August I was totally devastated and lost. Then for my birthday in October my husband gave me a voucher with a picture of some week old goldens and said one of them would be mine. I was so torn I felt it was far too soon. Yet at the same time It was instant love when I saw those little pups; excitement but terrible terrible guilt. I felt I was betraying my shadow . My husband told me that there would never be a good or right time to get another dog because I would feel these mixed emotions as I awaited the pups arrival even if I waited years to get another dog.
> I cried with grief and joy when our new pup arrived home and felt guilty for having him and guilty for being sad around him when he was so adorable and just wanted my love.
> 5 months down the line I have come to accept and realise that I will never stop missing my soul dog, yet I quickly came to love Albie. I don't have to feel guilty because he makes me smile every day, he is not replacing my old dog. Our relationship is totally separate.
> ...


Thank you so much for your post - while I would have given almost anything to have 14 years with Remy - no matter what the time we have with them is never enough. 

I hadn't thought about how confused Rosie must be - so very true, thank you for that perspective.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

hotel4dogs said:


> I am so, so happy for you, but even more so for Rosie!


Thank you Barb - I have to admit you also said something that allowed me to consider this when you wrote me that love does not divide it multiplies - thank you so much for that!


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## mm2k14 (Feb 16, 2016)

I think sometimes these things just have a way of happening. It may be hard at first, and it may feel like this has been suddenly dumped in your lap, but doesn't mean it won't end up being a beautiful, great partnership. Give yourself time to get to know her. She will never be Remy, or be able to replace her. Try not to get caught up in how you think you should feel, and just let it happen. There is no direct path; it will happen the way it's supposed to.


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## cartersgma (Mar 31, 2014)

It sounds like you feel guilty or that you are betraying Remy. You aren't.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
You have a lot of love to give and Rosie needs that and you will both have joy together.
As you may know my history has been Border Collie, I have had one by my side for over 35 years. Each one has been different though similar breed characteristics. I look at my old girl now and think if I did not get another dog after I loss my precious Tess I would have never of shared my life with this one. she helped me heal. She has always been very quirky and silly and I know I will never have another one like her. I realized when I made decision to get this crazy puppy she was exactly what I needed. I was heart broken at the time having lost Tess, My husband who is a soldier was somewhere in Iraq during the second gulf war. I was in Germany with three children away from my family. This beautiful gift brought me laughter and love. I lost Tess on a Monday and brought home my crazy May on the Thursday. People told me it was too soon, I was looking for a replacement. I knew I was not as there would never be another Tess. I have lost other dogs and did not get another for a while. fate has always decided when and how. 

I think fate has come a knocking for you. Embrace it, enjoy. I am so excited for you.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Lenna*



cartersgma said:


> It sounds like you feel guilty or that you are betraying Remy. You aren't.
> Nothing could be further from the truth.
> You have a lot of love to give and Rosie needs that and you will both have joy together.
> As you may know my history has been Border Collie, I have had one by my side for over 35 years. Each one has been different though similar breed characteristics. I look at my old girl now and think if I did not get another dog after I loss my precious Tess I would have never of shared my life with this one. she helped me heal. She has always been very quirky and silly and I know I will never have another one like her. I realized when I made decision to get this crazy puppy she was exactly what I needed. I was heart broken at the time having lost Tess, My husband who is a soldier was somewhere in Iraq during the second gulf war. I was in Germany with three children away from my family. This beautiful gift brought me laughter and love. I lost Tess on a Monday and brought home my crazy May on the Thursday. People told me it was too soon, I was looking for a replacement. I knew I was not as there would never be another Tess. I have lost other dogs and did not get another for a while. fate has always decided when and how.
> ...


Lenna: I agree with cartersgma that fate has come a knocking. I think that REMY would be very happy for you and Rosie. You and Rosie will rescue one another. Your adopting Rosie will be a testament of the love you had for Remy!


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

Things happen for a reason. You are saving Rosie and she is saving you!


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Conflicted is normal, I have been there.

Two months after my first rescue Deardra passed Tucker came into my life. My vet set was the one who set us up. I thought oh god what am I doing, who is this boy? He turned out perfect.

When Tucker passed Fiona came into my life 2 weeks after. Again what am I thinking? But wow did she turned out great too 

I've passed on a few Golden kids since Fiona just because my life circumstance stinks. I have my Golden fix for now walking a few (one 6yrs old and a 8 month old) and having one for overnight visits now and then. Works for now.

Wish you and Rosie the best


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Lennap said:


> Thanks hopefully between now and when she arrives next weekend I will be able to stop crying. It's so weird I am deeply sobbing for my boy - but still looking forward to her arrival.
> 
> perhaps I am bipolar?
> 
> ...When I read that it finally dawned on me - years ago when Remy first got diagnosed with kidney disease I called the rescue crying and asked them to promise me that when I lose him they will make me adopt another dog. So I wrote her back and asked if that promise had prompted the call. She admitted that since Remy passed she had been keeping her eye out for a dog that would be right for me - knowing that it would have to be someone young and in perfect health (even I know I cannot do another special needs right now) - this little girl just got surrendered sooner than she expected....


Lenna,
I understand exactly what you are feeling and I'm crying as I write this because I know that the grief doesn't go away quickly. But, you are a great golden mom and this pup will need to be with someone to help her, to be her person. How wonderful and kind of the rescue to be keeping a watch out for a golden that would fit.

When I went to pick up my Glimmer I drove from Maryland to NY. I took that trip 100s of times with my Merry and honestly for 8 hours I sobbed. ... but this little puppy.... only 10 months old now has made my life so much happier.

I'll be watching this thread and looking forward to hearing about Rosie when you meet her. Hugs


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

Can't wait to hear about you meeting Rosie this weekend!!!


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## Amystelter (Jul 31, 2013)

Looking forward to you post -


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Lenna*

Can't wait to hear about the first time you and Rosie meet!!!:wavey::wavey:


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Good luck!!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Thinking of you today, looking forward to your update and hearing all about Rosie.


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

Looking forward to an update


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

*Rosie is in the house*

Sorry for keeping everyone waiting. I barely slept last night I was so afraid of oversleeping and keeping the transport waiting! I cried the whole way to the Sheraton where the transport stops in NJ. They arrived early and when I got there I just started bawling my eyes out - thank goodness everyone there were animal lovers and they understood, or at least claimed to.

Rosie was handed over to me at 3:30 this morning and she was a terrified mess! I brought her home and she was a bundle of nerves, stress and energy in a very very beautiful package. Our first walk was a pulling disaster that caused my hands to end up bloody and when the cats and dog saw each other everyone's hackles were up. I thought what have I done?!

Our second walk was much better, and she was a hit with the neighborhood dogs. When we came home I finally figured out how to get her to relax I kept the leash on, I guess she realized she couldn't pace anymore so she took a nap. Once we woke up she was already much, much calmer. Given what she has been through in the past week and a half, I think that is amazing.

She is now resting on her own, no leash required, and I am not allowed to go anywhere without her following. Feels like it will all be good.

Here are some pics.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

Oh drat no clue why they loaded sideways, sorry!


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

Poor baby, she has been through a lot, It won't take her long to realise she has hit the jackpot. She is gorgeous.


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Happy Gotcha day!


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## JMME (Jun 18, 2012)

She is so beautiful. Congratulations! I'm glad she is starting to settle in . Sounds like it was a stressful week for you both


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

She's beautiful! :smooch:

In the first and third pictures, it looks like she's thinking, "Yeah...I think I'll stay." :doh:


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

She is absolutely beautiful! Lucky girl 


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

She looks very sweet. It will only get better as she settles in and you both get used to each other, and she realizes she is here to stay. I predict great things.


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

She's a beautiful girl and smiling at you in the two pictures where she's not sleeping.

If the pulling is a continuing problem I'd suggest an easy walk harness and a Mendota leash but I know there's been lots of discussion on here about how to deal with pulling. The wider Mendota leashes are really easy on your hands and very durable.


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

Look at the big smile on her face......she knows she's in a good place.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

Have been watching for Rosie all day. Each hour she'll feel more at home. Maybe one of those pet safe easy walk harness would help for her. They have them at petsmart. Rosie is a doll!!
*http://www.petsmart.com/dog/harness...6-catid-100082?var_id=36-9378&_t=pfm=category*
Think they may cost less at Amazon.com or Chewy.com

When we adopted our Smooch from Golden Retriever Rescue, she pulled so much, too! She was 16 mos. and Snobear was 5 mos. My hubby accidentally dropped her and Snobears leashes on her first day with us, and they ran off down the street. Ken told me to run back toward home and call them saying let's go home and Thank God they followed me!


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

She is beautiful!! Congratulations


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## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

Welcome home Rosie.


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## tikiandme (May 16, 2010)

I'm so glad Rosie is home!


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

What a gorgeous girl!


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## BaileyzMom (Nov 26, 2015)

Lennap said:


> I didn't realize until that night that I have been depressed since Remy died - to the point that I would come home at night, stuff every sugary carb I could find down my throat and then head straight to bed. But that night I went home and started completing tasks I kept avoiding - like writing thank you notes for condolence cards I had been sent and laundering all of Remy's toys (many of which are left over from prior pups) - not necessarily moving on, but starting to move nonetheless.


Thank you for this post! First of all, Rosie is beautiful! I am so happy you have a young, happy, healthy girl to love you! Second, I fully "get" what you said it this paragraph. We lost our Rottie 10 months ago, and I didn't think I would ever have room in my heart for another dog. A few months ago, it became evident that our lives were pretty much stalled out on hold. We brought Bailey home 3 weeks ago, and while at first, as cute as she is, I wanted to tell her she would never be "that dog," I quickly learned that there is room in my heart for another. It's like my heart just got bigger to allow space for another dog to love me. I didn't realize just how sad and depressed I was until I broke down in tears sitting in the living room floor playing with Bailey the other day. They weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of pure joy! 

CONGRATULATIONS on both Rosie and being able to begin healing again!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Welcome home Rosie, bless her heart and yours too. What a day you've both had, it will only get better from here. She's beautiful.


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

Rosie's a great looking girl. I'm so glad you and she are together. Can't wait to hear more.


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## rabernet (Feb 24, 2015)

Yay! Rosie is home! She is beautiful, and I agree with another poster, she hit the jackpot!


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## 4goldengirls (Jun 10, 2014)

Given all she's been thru the past week it's wonderful that she calmed down so quickly. She is a gorgeous dog. This is the start of something wonderful for you both. Look forward to reading your updates and seeing alot of photos. Congratulations.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

I hope you both rest well and have sweet dreams.


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Awh... Rosie, beautiful girl, so happy for you both, congratulations


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

Congrats!!! I am so very happy for you and Rosie!!! She is beautiful and has a great smile. Enjoy getting to know each other. Can't wait to hear more about Rosie.


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

Congratulations! Rosie is beautiful.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Lenna*

Can't wait to hear how the sleeping arrangements went!


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## kmb (Apr 24, 2009)

I am so happy for you!! Rosie is beautiful! Your post made me cry as I just lost my last golden in July due to cancer. She was a trained therapy dog so we were very bonded together. It totally broke my heart when I lost her, so I can relate how you are feeling about Remi. I would literally cry myself to sleep at night. I turned around and got another Golden in October. (Mia) She is definitely different than my Amber was which is a good thing. I still cry when I think about Amber and it's true they don't fill that hole but make another one. Mia has brought laughter back into our home again with her funny little attitude. I can't wait to hear about your new adventures with your girl.


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## MaureenM (Sep 20, 2011)

Welcome home beautiful Rosie!!!! Very happy for you both!


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## Tiny R Astar (Dec 26, 2015)

Congratulations its lovely to see her home. She has been through do much but I'm sure she will settle with all the love and care she is going to receive. 
Hope you both have reason to smile very soon. You have done a wonderful thing and she is one lucky girl.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

This little girl has been such a hit already, Rosie is knocking my socks off. To be fair she did rip the heck out of my hands on our first walk - I was literally bleeding - but now she walks on a loose leash almost always staying at a heel. She is amazing! I cannot believe how quickly she has settled down, she has a long way to go, but wow she has already come such a long way in only 3 days. She cannot possibly feel secure since she doesn't know what comes next, yet she is doing so well! 

She has been a huge hit with all the dogs and their owners in the neighborhood. Everyone is talking about how fabulous she is. She has been blessed by the Rabbi, and met all the kids in the synagogue. I was going to wait, but they saw her and she did great! She is amazing with the little ones. I was hyper vigilant watching her every signal - when she had enough, she just snuggled up to me and I made sure everyone left her alone. 

Took Rosie to my Vet today - she got a clean bill of health. Best of all he thinks Rosie and I are a wonderful match 

All I can do it help her learn her new routine, and hopefully in time she will figure out that she is home. She starts daycare on Wednesday we needed to wait a few days after the transport to make sure there is no kennel cough. It breaks my heart to think she will think I am leaving her - but I'll be back that night. She will hopefully learn soon enough.

I will update again soon.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Such a wonderful and heartwarming update, great to hear how wonderful Rosie is doing. 
You sound really happy, great to hear.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

Thrilled to hear that Rosie is doing so well and it is only just the beginning. Love it!


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

Awesome update!! I bet she has helped you to smile again, which would make Remy very happy!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Rosie*



Lennap said:


> This little girl has been such a hit already, Rosie is knocking my socks off. To be fair she did rip the heck out of my hands on our first walk - I was literally bleeding - but now she walks on a loose leash almost always staying at a heel. She is amazing! I cannot believe how quickly she has settled down, she has a long way to go, but wow she has already come such a long way in only 3 days. She cannot possibly feel secure since she doesn't know what comes next, yet she is doing so well!
> 
> She has been a huge hit with all the dogs and their owners in the neighborhood. Everyone is talking about how fabulous she is. She has been blessed by the Rabbi, and met all the kids in the synagogue. I was going to wait, but they saw her and she did great! She is amazing with the little ones. I was hyper vigilant watching her every signal - when she had enough, she just snuggled up to me and I made sure everyone left her alone.
> 
> ...


What a beautiful update on Rosie. It was meant to be and I'm sure that Remy is very happy about this match!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I lost this thread for a couple of days... glad I found it again. 

It sounds like you and Rosie are the perfect match. She sounds great. You're clearly making her feel very secure. But we need more pictures!


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## rabernet (Feb 24, 2015)

So happy to read your update! Hope you'll post more pictures too!


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

I will try to take pictures over the weekend - on conference calls now but wanted to give an update. Today was Rosie's first day at her new daycare. 

She walked away from me without a backward glance, which gave me mixed emotions - I was glad she was not stressed, but sad that she could walk away so easily. Then I reminded myself that it's not even been a week yet, she has not idea if she is going to stay, I need to give her time and be consistent.

I checked the webcams throughout the day and there was not a single instance that this perpetual motion machine was not playing and having the time of her life! She was so happy I was thrilled!

Then the piece de resistance - when I came to pick her up - she was SOOOO happy to see me - it warmed my heart!

So overall a really good day


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## Tosh's Legacy (Oct 2, 2013)

Your story just warms my heart! Please share more pictures of Rosie. She is a beauty and a special gift from your Remy. He chose her for you!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Warmed my heart, too. SO happy for you both.


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## DJdogman (Apr 23, 2013)

What an amazing story, it had me in tears at the first post. You were so torn only a week ago, and I'm sure she was too, having been given up by her family. It sounds like you two are just perfect together and that she is a confident dog, which will help in so many areas. Bless you both, here's to many more years of happiness.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Lennap said:


> I will try to take pictures over the weekend - on conference calls now but wanted to give an update. Today was Rosie's first day at her new daycare.
> 
> She walked away from me without a backward glance, which gave me mixed emotions - I was glad she was not stressed, but sad that she could walk away so easily. Then I reminded myself that it's not even been a week yet, she has not idea if she is going to stay, I need to give her time and be consistent.
> 
> ...


Awwww.......... this is so wonderful to hear. What a special girl Rosie is. Those of us who have been lucky enough to welcome a Rescue dog into our lives, know how very special they are. 

Looking forward to seeing LOTS of pictures of your beautiful Rosie.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Rosie*



Lennap said:


> I will try to take pictures over the weekend - on conference calls now but wanted to give an update. Today was Rosie's first day at her new daycare.
> 
> She walked away from me without a backward glance, which gave me mixed emotions - I was glad she was not stressed, but sad that she could walk away so easily. Then I reminded myself that it's not even been a week yet, she has not idea if she is going to stay, I need to give her time and be consistent.
> 
> ...


It warms my heart to read about your first days with Rosie and her experiencing new things and how well she is adapting!! So glad she was SO HAPPY that you picked her up!!
Looking forward to more pictures!!


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

Love seeing Rosie updates 


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## LynnC (Nov 14, 2015)

Welcome home Rosie from another Jersey Girl . I just love your story, it warmed my heart. I'm glad you found each other.


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## Harleysmum (Aug 19, 2014)

Loving this thread!


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Bless your heart! 'Meant to be' is a perfect gift, the timing is always right! Congrats to you and Rosie, and the beginning of new adventures, and a lifetime of friendship.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

Hope you and Rosie are enjoying your weekend!!!


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## Tiny R Astar (Dec 26, 2015)

So pleased that things are going so well, you both deserve to be happy. Your Rosie sounds very special and it looks like this is going to be a perfect match. 
Sounds like her golden magic has touched and brightened your community already not just yourself. Thank you for allowing us to share your heart warming story.


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

Just stopping by to see how you and Rosie are doing. Loving your stories about her.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Goldy*

Look in this topic, for an update on Rosie from Lennap.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...e-adopted-rescued/407801-its-rosie-world.html


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## Amystelter (Jul 31, 2013)

Karen519 said:


> Look in this topic, for an update on Rosie from Lennap.
> http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...e-adopted-rescued/407801-its-rosie-world.html




Thanks for the redirect, new thread?


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