# How do we decide?



## lilybugs (Oct 21, 2017)

*So sorry*

I was on here looking at hotspots discussions for our golden, Bubba. I saw your post and had to respond. First of all, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It is the absolutely most horrific position to be in as a pet owner. I lost my Lily in July and I had to make the decision. We went into the vet for a check up to get her meds (for congestive heart failure). She got really upset and started having trouble breathing. Next thing I know she was having an oxygen mask and they had to work to resuscitate for at least a minute. Doctor thought there was brain damage. I had to decide in that moment to let her go or not. I chose to let her go because she had been a life-saver (emotionally) for me and I couldn't stand for her to suffer. I don't know if you are religious or not, but if you are, you know praying may give you the answers and the peace. I also think having had a long and beautiful friendship, you know your dog well enough to understand when it will be time to say good-bye. If you have to make the decision to say good-bye, it will be the most gut wrenching awful decision ever. You will second-guess your decision every day for a long time. But it will get better. I know this probably has not helped one bit with your decision. But know someone is thinking of you and your baby and saying a prayer.


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## Sandie Radford (Oct 21, 2017)

So sorry to hear about poor Lily. Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. Means a lot.x


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry about Barley and what you're facing. 

For me it's always been about my dog's quality of life. If my dog was having more good days than bad-able to go out on their own, eating, enjoying life, then it wasn't time to set them free. If my dog wasn't able to do these things and seemed to be experiencing pain, then I felt it was time.

Here is a thread that might be helpful-

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...breed-standard/440010-quality-life-scale.html


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## Sandie Radford (Oct 21, 2017)

Sorry I think I may have worded my post badly. The decision is whether to leave her be and help her make the most of what time she has (I.e.spoil her rotten!) or put her through more tests, operations, treatments etc. Yes I agree quality of life is so important but might we regret not giving her a chance of living longer? This is so hard.


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## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear about Barley. It's so hard to decide what to do and when, I agree with Carolina Mom's thoughts about quality of life.


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

It is really hard to know what to do sometimes. You obviously love her and are very aware of choosing what's in her best interest so trust your own instincts. I think if it was me, with a dog her age, I might not put her through much treatment but maybe have the tests done to be sure of her prognosis just for your own peace of mind. It's just really hard to know unless you are the one experiencing the situation. There's always the temptation to try anything to avoid losing them but you clearly know better. Sorry this is just rambling and probably of no help. I am so sorry you are going through this.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

My heart goes out to you. I know it would be a relief for someone with a crystal ball to give you the magic answer of exactly what to do. I think this falls under the heading of 'being a grownup really stinks sometimes'. I hate that we have reached the point with Goldens that we feel that getting to age 10 is maybe all we can ask.... I am inclined to think that I might be one to do more if the dog were 5 or 6. At age 10, I wonder if it the pain and suffering of treatment is worth the payoff if it only buys months. I am another who values quality and would rather make the decision a day too soon than a day too late.

Please remember that whatever choices you make, no one loves your girl like you do and wants what is best for her more than you do. Be gentle with yourself and know that whatever you do it won't be easy on you. Do you have a good relationship with your vet? Have you had a conversation about what he/she would do if Barley was their dog? Thinking of you and Barley.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

The link in the thread I posted a link to is no longer available, here is a new link for it-

https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/defau...n/HTB/Difficult decisions 2017 web proof1.pdf


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