# Why won't my four month old golden cuddle?



## BLUEeyedBUTTRFLY

A couple of months ago my husband and I purchased our first puppy together, Riley. We researched a great deal before deciding on a golden retriever breed. Riley is wonderful, with the exception of some leash pulling and nipping at times. We researched a lot about crate training, which she seems to do great with. She has just enough room to lay down and turn around and as she grows we are adding more space. We place a blanket around her as I read this helps them feel safe. Because of her barking..we keep her crate in the spare bedroom. My concern is, I can tell when she is getting sleepy at night because she will start biting more and acting cranky. I keep trying to cuddle with her on the couch or the bed but she won't allow it. We have been strict not letting her on the couches or bed unless we invite her up. I am fearful that because she is use to not being on the couch/bed and use to sleeping in her crate, she will never want to cuddle.. She's great at sitting on my lap when we are playing or while she is chewing on a toy as long as I am sitting on the floor. Occasionally I try to let her rest beside me on the couch or the bed and she starts acting crazy (ie. biting at everything, scratching at everything, can't lay still, etc). Feeling very sad because I've always wanted a dog that would cuddle with me in the bed.. She's very affectionate during the day and when I'm sitting on floor..but won't rest with me at night. Is crate training and keeping her isolated when she sleeps keeping her from cuddling at night by chance?


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## Lydia Tomson

*Dont worry!*

Relax! It's awesome how your teaching her not to jump up on furniture from a young age. But some dogs just aren't the cuddle type. They don't enjoy being smothered to pieces. Define cuddle. Does she not let you pet her? Anyway, my puppy doesn't really like physical affection much either but she is still such a sweetie.


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## LilTuffGirl

My older dog didn't like to cuddle much at first either but LOVED to be pet. Now she still loves to be pet but always lays with us now as well. She actually has to lay on me at night...

My youngest is now 7 months and he's just now starting to want to lay around with me but can't for long since he's too wiggely.

I think it's something that just comes with time. I just wouldn't try to force it.

The husband has always tried to cuddle the cat since he was a kitten and I just kinda pet him and love him when he wants it. Now that he's older he ALWAYS comes to me and avoids him lol


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## BLUEeyedBUTTRFLY

Thanks for the response! When I say cuddle I mean just laying beside me on the couch or bed while I watch tv, etc. If I am sitting on the floor she will lay on my lap and let me pet her every time she is chewing something. However, each time I try to invite her on a blanket on the couch or in the bed she won't even lay still enough for me to pet her. I try giving her a bone or a toy to chew on like she does on the floor, but she's too occupied trying to bite pillows, blankets, etc. My husband thinks she'll grow out of it and it's just because she is a puppy but I've seen many puppies lay next to their owner and relax or fall asleep. The only place she will sleep is in her crate..


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## BLUEeyedBUTTRFLY

Sorry everyone...Riley is THREE months not four


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## BayBeams

I am not sure what you define as "cuddling" but many dogs regardless of the breed do not like to be held. I have 3 Goldens, each with very different personalities. 
Baylee is a real sweetie, but a cuddler, no way. She doesn't even enjoy petting much. She is very independent and likes things only on her terms. Yet she is sweet and loveable and will lean against me when she chooses. 
Beau is a happy,jolly fellow. He loves people and attention and prancing around. He is a joyful boy and makes eveyone smile but he does not enjoy being held. You can pet him all you want but "cuddling" is not his thing.
My third golden, Baxter, is a real love bug. He wants to climb on my lap and lean his head on me. He is the closest one I have to a cuddler but even he does not enjoy being held and smashed.
It really has nothing to do with your crate training. Your puppy is still young. Allow her time for the personality to develop and you will find out the type of bonding she prefers.
I also heard females tend to be more independent. In the case of my three Goldens that is definitely true. I don't really know if that is the case with all female Goldens.
There were many moments with my female, Baylee, that I felt a sadness because of her "distance" but I have grown to love her unique personality.
Good luck with your new pup. It sounds like you really are off to a good start.


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## BayBeams

BLUEeyedBUTTRFLY said:


> Thanks for the response! When I say cuddle I mean just laying beside me on the couch or bed while I watch tv, etc. If I am sitting on the floor she will lay on my lap and let me pet her every time she is chewing something. However, each time I try to invite her on a blanket on the couch or in the bed she won't even lay still enough for me to pet her. I try giving her a bone or a toy to chew on like she does on the floor, but she's too occupied trying to bite pillows, blankets, etc. My husband thinks she'll grow out of it and it's just because she is a puppy but I've seen many puppies lay next to their owner and relax or fall asleep. The only place she will sleep is in her crate..


Is your puppy getting a lot of exercise? It could be she is not tired enough to lay with you instead of chewing and wiggling. Having a puppy that sleeps nicely in a crate is a very good thing.


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## Maxs Mom

My Gabby is not a cuddler. Yeah I wish she were but not her personality. My husbands lab is a MAJOR cuddler, and it is a lot of fun. As for laying near you as you watch TV etc, that will come with age. 

Gabby is 12 weeks old, she is a motor. She is always on the go, when she does get tired she usually goes off and curls up by herself. Sometimes she comes near us, she just has an independent personality, however she loves to work and train with me so that is more important. 

It can take time for personalities to develop, I wouldn't worry just love on your pup and you will have it returned 10 fold.


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## mdfraser

I agree with others that it sounds like your pup may be over flowing with energy to the point that when you want to "cuddle" or "hold" her, she just can't do it because she's still bound up with too much energy. 

Our Riley is a happy healthy boy who has settled down nicely since getting him two years ago. He still had a little bit of puphood in him at age 3 when we got him, but is a moderate snuggler now. Lexi, our new 7 month old girl, is a ball of never ending energy. She'll cuddle, but she's got a lot more energy then I thought she might have. We just have to make sure she has plenty of playtime and running around before we try to expect any type of "cuddle" from her. If she's still wound up she's bouncing and shaking around almost uncontrollable. 

The bottom line...check and make sure the pups getting enough playtime to get all of that energy out, look for the signs, and relax. A puppy isn't much different from a 5 or 6 year old with lots of energy - that sometimes we as adults wish we could still have.


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## esSJay

I thought the same thing when Molson came home. It isn't until around 1 year that Molson started to calm down and would crawl up on the couch or bed with us to snuggle. Now he is almost 2 years old and he hogs the bed, snuggles up so close to us all night that we can't even move! 

Don't worry, it will come with time, just don't force him when he isn't ready to do it yet.


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## Cathy's Gunner

Gunner was probably one when he would finally lay by me. He used to go into the kitchen and lay by himself when I was in the living room. I always felt so bad that sometimes I'd go get him and bring him out with me. He is two now and for the past year has turned into the velcro dog. Loves to cuddle with me and at bed time get as close to me as possible. We usually start out with me holding him with his head on my shoulder. My favorite time of the day. I'm sure Riley will come around. He sounds a lot like Gunner.


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## Dallas Gold

Our Toby was always on the go, a little Energizer Bunny, and we thought he would never be a cuddler. Well, at about age 5 he decided he could be a crazy energetic pup during the day and a master lounger and cuddler at night. He will move between hubby and me on the sofas depending on who will give him more cuddles and pets. When one of us tires of rubbing and petting him we will send him to the other with a simple "go see xxxx" command and he will. On the bed he usually starts out curled in a ball at the foot of the bed in the middle but by morning we are fighting for bed space. This morning he was paws up next to me and my entire right side was numb!


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## sunflowerkd

I have a border collie golden mix ish .... Teddy is just starting to cuddle at 4 1/2 months. I wouldn't stress or take offense... what comes of their personality will change as they grow.. Teddy is still very independent ..


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## jackie_hubert

Just wait...soon enough your pup will probably not leave your lap.

My first post on this forum was "aloof, non-cuddly golden". That all changed around 4.5 months. Now he's CONSTANTLY put his chin on my lap wherever I'm sitting and loves to cuddle. When he was really little he got hot really really easily so prefered to sleep off by himself on the cool floor - HATED being held. Now when he cuddles he still only does so for 10mins or so and then goes to cool off on the wood or tile.


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## Lilliam

Max didn't want to cuddle as a new, new puppy. Last week he started jumping on me when I'm working at home, with the laptop on my lap!!!! Now he jumps on me and falls asleep when I'm on the recliner, stretches out all the way, and falls asleep on me.


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## MittaBear

Chester wasn't much of a cuddler when he was younger. But he definitely likes cuddling a lot more now that he's a little older. He's still not as much of a cuddler as Misty was, but he is still a puppy and can't always sit still for too long.

I'm sure with time your puppy will want to start cuddling more.


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