# He lost his lifelong companion..now what's best for him?



## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

My male golden will be 11 in June. I had to have his 13 year old sister put to sleep several weeks ago. From the time we got him at 8 weeks, he has always had her as a constant companion. I had planned to get another golden only after something happened to him. He "seems" a little sad but is eating normally and was happy to chase balls the past few days. I'm trying to decide if he would be happier with more time spent with me as an only dog or having a new puppy in the house. Has anyone been through this and what helped you make your decision? I guess with his age, I'm just so afraid I will get a puppy and then he will develop a serious health condition.


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## Deborus12 (Nov 5, 2017)

I'm sorry to hear about your loss of his sister. Many years ago, we added an addition to our family when our Golden girl was 10 years old. She took to the youngster right away and they were best friends. Our Golden lived a healthy life until the age of 14 and I believe the young one contributed to it. Every dog is different but I don't think you can go wrong either way.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I went through this almost literally the same situation...

We had 2 old dogs 2 years apart. The one died from cancer at almost 14. Our remaining old golden was almost 12, but very active and healthy for his age. Speaking to his breeder, I knew both his parents lived to be 15 - but I felt time was short. I couldn't stand the idea of being without a dog at one point, so I began looking for either a puppy or an adult rescue to adopt. I even looked at other breeds, including spaniels and labs.

Sams died around Christmas 2017. I met Jacks for the first time beginning of January and end of February I brought Jacks home to keep my Danny company.

The first 2-3 weeks were the roughest with Jacks grabbing Danny's tail and giving him a tail sprain. >.< But the next year was ideal. The two dogs kept each other company. Danny especially had relied on Sams a LOT for confidence when meeting people and new situations, and he relied the same way on Jacks.

More importantly, Danny imprinted his very sweet self on Jacks. To the extent that when we lost Danny a year later, I still had part of him left with Jacks.

I will say - just further... I lost Jacks almost 2 years ago when he was almost 11. There was very sadly only a month's worth of time between the time I brought my Jovi home and Jacks died. But during that very important time, Jacks was the one who let Jovi sleep with him and hang out with him the most. And to this day, Jovi reminds me so much of Jacks. He imprinted a little bit of himself in that very short period of time.

My take is that if you are able to hands on work with the pup while continuing to give the same degree of attention and love to your older dog... now is a good time to look for a new pup and bring home. Aside from the company being good for your dog, it's also very good for you - because you know that there is not much time left. The older a new pup is when the time comes, the easier the transition will be.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

Deborus12 said:


> I'm sorry to hear about your loss of his sister. Many years ago, we added an addition to our family when our Golden girl was 10 years old. She took to the youngster right away and they were best friends. Our Golden lived a healthy life until the age of 14 and I believe the young one contributed to it. Every dog is different but I don't think you can go wrong either way.


That is the most precious photo. Thank you for sharing.


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## Rastadog (Oct 24, 2006)

My signature photo are Pronto and Disco. They lived together 12 1/2 years. They were full siblings about 18 months apart. Disco always sought out her brother to cuddle. I let Pronto go when he was 14. It broke his sisters heart. It was awful. She aged in front of my eyes. It took 3-4 months for her equilibrium to come back. She was much better but never the same. Given her age 12 1/2 and my sense that being an only dog would be better I chose that path for her. She lived 2 years after Pronto left. I think it depends how sad you boy is about his sister and if he‘s up for a new companion. Good luck and I’m sorry about your girl.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

Megora said:


> Speaking to his breeder, I knew both his parents lived to be 15 - but I felt time was short. I couldn't stand the idea of being without a dog at one point, so I began looking for either a puppy or an adult rescue to adopt.
> View attachment 870402


That's actually one reason I am so hesitant to get another dog right now. Jackson's full brother died at age 10 of Hemangiosarcoma and his sire died of the same thing at age 9. I also have a beagle rescue but Jackson just ignores him. I do know that losing Jasmine really took it out of me. I suffered for months of anticipatory grief because I knew the end was coming. I guess I am afraid that I am being selfish because I want to devote all of the time he has left just to him. I can't help but wonder what he would say he wanted if he could talk.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

Rastadog said:


> Disco always sought out her brother to cuddle. I let Pronto go when he was 14. It broke his sisters heart. It was awful. She aged in front of my eyes. It took 3-4 months for her equilibrium to come back. She was much better but never the same. Given her age 12 1/2 and my sense that being an only dog would be better I chose that path for her. She lived 2 years after Pronto left. I think it depends how sad you boy is about his sister and if he‘s up for a new companion. Good luck and I’m sorry about your girl.


 Those two were the same way. The day I had to take Jasmine to the vet, I think he knew because he wouldn't leave her. I finally had to put him up just so I could get her to the car. If he weren't eating or wanting to play, I would be really worried but he still has interest in those things. I think I am going to get a ramp for my SUV and start taking him with me a lot more. Maybe that will help.


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## JDandBigAm (Aug 25, 2008)

I went through a similar experience with Amber, my 15+ year old passing away and I was left with my 11 year old Jonah who I have had since 8 weeks of age. The family was very distraught over the loss of Amber and we started looking for an adult golden. To tell you the truth I was the reluctant one about adopting a dog to be a companion for Jonah but we were blessed with Marla who just turned 7 years old. Jonah has a playmate again and he can still play hard at 11 1/2 years old. But most important is that Marla has filled a loss with her sweet soul. I don't think you could go wrong with adding that second golden in to your home. BTW I adopted Marla from a member here, Peri29, who is an angel for rescuing all of these dogs.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Susan said:


> That's actually one reason I am so hesitant to get another dog right now. Jackson's full brother died at age 10 of Hemangiosarcoma and his sire died of the same thing at age 9. I also have a beagle rescue but Jackson just ignores him. I do know that losing Jasmine really took it out of me. I suffered for months of anticipatory grief because I knew the end was coming. I guess I am afraid that I am being selfish because I want to devote all of the time he has left just to him. I can't help but wonder what he would say he wanted if he could talk.


I get it. 

It's really TOUGH knowing what a dog needs, especially when it's a dog who has never been alone. But sometimes the dogs are just fine either being an only dog with a random beagle hanging around..... they are also just fine when you've introduced another pup. 

But! it's OK to be take care of yourself. It's not selfish when it comes to staving off really severe depression. I'll never forget another member here who died not long after losing her dog. She died of something else, but her heart was completely broken after losing him. 

Also I've shared this before, but one thing that happened between the time Sams died and I brought my Jacks home.... my sister who was Sams person fell into the deepest darkest grief over losing him. And I mean to the point where I literally was working out a way that even though I was bringing a puppy home to LIVE with me and Danny, that my sister could be the one to train and bond with him (she came over to visit every day). 

Long story short she refused to even consider loving another golden because she felt like it would be betraying Sams (that's exactly how crazy she got). So I instead looked into rescues and found a rough collie who needed a home. That collie split his time between our house and hers and was truly her life saver. 

I've talked privately with friends with goldens and I've gotten to the point where I can't imagine not having 2-3 goldens around. I need their company - but I also want them to have the companionship of their own kind. Especially goldens being around other goldens. 

My friend who I had this chat with as recent as last Weds, commented that's how she wound up with 9 goldens (she's a breeder). You feel like you've had a mortal wound when you've lost your only golden and have an empty house.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

Megora said:


> I've talked privately with friends with goldens and I've gotten to the point where I can't imagine not having 2-3 goldens around. I need their company - but I also want them to have the companionship of their own kind. Especially goldens being around other goldens.
> 
> My friend who I had this chat with as recent as last Weds, commented that's how she wound up with 9 goldens (she's a breeder). You feel like you've had a mortal wound when you've lost your only golden and have an empty house.


Thanks Kate. What you wrote really hit home. For one thing, I was thinking about this from my point of view but I think Jackson misses the companionship of another golden since he has had that his whole life and now it's gone. I also think you are so right about a house being empty with a golden. Having Jackson has helped with losing Jasmine.

I would also like to say THANK YOU to everyone that responded. I am so grateful to this forum and the caring people that are members.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm very sorry for the loss of your girl. 
Have you considered adopting a Sr dog as a companion for him?

He's grieving just as you are, some dogs grieve more than others especially if they are really bonded to the other dog.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Have you considered adopting a Sr dog as a companion for him?


I think that would have been the perfect solution but I checked the Charlotte rescue and there was not a single golden available. I'll keep looking.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Susan said:


> I think that would have been the perfect solution but I checked the Charlotte rescue and there was not a single golden available. I'll keep looking.



The Charlotte GR Rescue, may have more dogs in their program that are not listed yet, they usually aren't listed until they are cleared medically if they are receiving any type of treatment. 

There's TGRR in High Point and also NRGRR in Raleigh.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

CAROLINA MOM said:


> The Charlotte GR Rescue, may have more dogs in their program that are not listed yet, they usually aren't listed until they are cleared medically if they are receiving any type of treatment.
> 
> There's TGRR in High Point and also NRGRR in Raleigh.


Thanks. I'll check them all out and send an application to Charlotte since they are the closest.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Susan said:


> Thanks. I'll check them all out and send an application to Charlotte since they are the closest.


You could even sign up to volunteer as a Foster. Most of the GR Groups are always in need of Foster Homes. 

Good luck


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

CAROLINA MOM said:


> You could even sign up to volunteer as a Foster. Most of the GR Groups are always in need of Foster Homes.
> 
> Good luck


I wish I had the emotional strength for fostering but I know me. Once I got him/her in my house, I would never want them to leave. I so admire the people that do the fostering!! 

I just saw where NRGRR is involved in the China dog rescue. I would definitely love to do that if they will make an allowance for the distance between me and Raleigh. I'm not sure if Charlotte is participating but I'm going to email and ask them.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Susan said:


> I wish I had the emotional strength for fostering but I know me. Once I got him/her in my house, I would never want them to leave. I so admire the people that do the fostering!!
> 
> I just saw where NRGRR is involved in the China dog rescue. I would definitely love to do that if they will make an allowance for the distance between me and Raleigh. I'm not sure if Charlotte is participating but I'm going to email and ask them.


Fostering a Sr. dog or one that is in Hospice care is really hard........ but fortunately there are people that do, not sure I could do one in Hospice care.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

That's the only thing that worries me about a senior dog. I think I told you that my husband died unexpectedly in April. 3 months later I lost my 91 year old uncle, who was like a father to me. Then I lost Jasmine and she had been mine since she was first born. Jackson is almost 11. That's one reason I was leaning to a puppy. Not sure how much heartache I can take right now. It's been a rough year.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Susan said:


> That's the only thing that worries me about a senior dog. I think I told you that my husband died unexpectedly in April. 3 months later I lost my 91 year old uncle, who was like a father to me. Then I lost Jasmine and she had been mine since she was first born. Jackson is almost 11. That's one reason I was leaning to a puppy. Not sure how much heartache I can take right now. It's been a rough year.


Sorry for your losses, you've had a lot of heartache in a short time.

I did a search on Petfinder, found a girl with TGRR, she's young, no age given in description. TGRR's website may have more info.

There's a young male in the Guilford County Animal Shelter located in Greensboro.


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

CAROLINA MOM said:


> Sorry for your losses, you've had a lot of heartache in a short time.
> 
> I did a search on Petfinder, found a girl with TGRR, she's young, no age given in description. TGRR's website may have more info.
> 
> There's a young male in the Guilford County Animal Shelter located in Greensboro.


Thanks. I'll check it out!


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## gingy (Sep 23, 2020)

Susan said:


> My male golden will be 11 in June. I had to have his 13 year old sister put to sleep several weeks ago. From the time we got him at 8 weeks, he has always had her as a constant companion. I had planned to get another golden only after something happened to him. He "seems" a little sad but is eating normally and was happy to chase balls the past few days. I'm trying to decide if he would be happier with more time spent with me as an only dog or having a new puppy in the house. Has anyone been through this and what helped you make your decision? I guess with his age, I'm just so afraid I will get a puppy and then he will develop a serious health condition.


What did you decide ? We just lost our female golden and her brother has been with her his entire life ,i was hoping to find an older female but no luck so far.


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## SoCalEngr (Apr 11, 2020)

I have not gone through your situation, so I cannot speak from direct experience. However, my limited experience is that our dogs are sensitive to the mood/behavior of "their people". To that end, I'd opine that the "best thing to do for Jackson" is to get yourself back into where you're most comfortable and happy.

Just my $0.02...


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## Susan (Mar 11, 2007)

gingy said:


> What did you decide ? We just lost our female golden and her brother has been with her his entire life ,i was hoping to find an older female but no luck so far.


Sorry for the late response. I suffered a back injury and have been out of commission. I got a male golden puppy (Chase) and it has definitely been an experience. Initially my 11 year old (Jackson) wouldn't have anything to do with the puppy. I think Chase was too playful. He grabbed poor Jackson by the tale and basically "terrorized" him like any puppy would. Then when I had given up all hope of them being friends, I found them out in the house wrestling and playing. I let them out and they continued to play. I am still cautious about Chase being too rough with Jackson because of Jackson's age but they seem to have settled into a somewhat peaceful coexistence. Honestly, if I had to do it over again, I'm not sure which way I would go. I think your idea of getting an older golden would be ideal. Some days a puppy has a little too much energy for my 11 year old golden and then other days, it seems to help him stay young. Sorry, I know I am not a lot of help. The one thing I am sure about is that I will get another golden puppy after something happens to Jackson. I think the ideal (at least for what I have experienced) is having two goldens that are within 1 to 2 years of age.


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## gingy (Sep 23, 2020)

Susan said:


> Sorry for the late response. I suffered a back injury and have been out of commission. I got a male golden puppy (Chase) and it has definitely been an experience. Initially my 11 year old (Jackson) wouldn't have anything to do with the puppy. I think Chase was too playful. He grabbed poor Jackson by the tale and basically "terrorized" him like any puppy would. Then when I had given up all hope of them being friends, I found them out in the house wrestling and playing. I let them out and they continued to play. I am still cautious about Chase being too rough with Jackson because of Jackson's age but they seem to have settled into a somewhat peaceful coexistence. Honestly, if I had to do it over again, I'm not sure which way I would go. I think your idea of getting an older golden would be ideal. Some days a puppy has a little too much energy for my 11 year old golden and then other days, it seems to help him stay young. Sorry, I know I am not a lot of help. The one thing I am sure about is that I will get another golden puppy after something happens to Jackson. I think the ideal (at least for what I have experienced) is having two goldens that are within 1 to 2 years of age.


Thanks for your response , right now I just hang out with him all the time . We never leave him alone.


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