# In desperate need of advice



## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

3weeks ago I got a golden puppy. She was 6 weeks at the time.She is nippy,&constantly barks and growls at me. My hands are covered in scratches&bite marks. I have heard that if a puppy is sold before 8 weeks they haven't learned bite inhibition. So this might be the reason that no matter what I do she doesn't comprehend that biting hurts.The problem is that at the moment I'm living with my grandparents (until I go back to school and into my new apartment in the fall) &they constantly keep putting the puppy in the crate which kills me because she needs to be able to roam free and play in the house (under supervision of course).I have a Pom who is the most laid back loving dog in the world & when he was a puppy they were NEVER like that with him,their excuse is that they dont like my new puppy's personality.So should I sell her and get a different golden.What sparked this idea is that my sister purchased a golden doodle and she is as sweet as can be. I feel as if my dog is too much for me to handle.I'm just so conflicted between keeping my puppy and trying to get her to stop being so strong willed and bitty or getting a new puppy and hoping that it has a better disposition. If you were in my shoes what would you do? Thank you!


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## mooselips (Dec 4, 2011)

it gets better, if you have the patience.
get her and you into classes, they help.
I'm still getting bitten and mine is 8 months...lol


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

Makes me think you are not really ready for a pup and puppyhood. All puppies are mouthy at that age, regardless if they were with their mom till 8 weeks.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

I am ready for a puppy? I've had a raised many dogs in my life because I do rescue missions & have for years..its just this puppy is too bold to use the excuse that she is "acting like a puppy"


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Have you contacted your breeder. With a pup that is only 9 weeks old, almost all breeders will want them back. If not, do not sell your puppy. Contact a rescue in your area. We can help you find one if you let us know where you are.


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## kimberlygino (Jul 11, 2012)

you shouldn't have gotten a dog if you wern't ready yet. but i don't think you should give it away just because of the temperament. it's a puppy! be patient. but if you think you can't do it because you aren't ready. you should contact it's breeder. 

he didn't made the choice to come into your family, you did. so you should think about him too!


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

so you are asking if you should sell your puppy who is bitey and mouthy, like all golden retriever puppies are at that age, and get a new golden retriever puppy who in all probability will act the same at the same age of your puppy? If you are looking for the perfect puppy who doesn't nip, chew, mouth and otherwise cause your arms and legs look like you have been in a war, a golden is not for you. They do grow out of it, it takes time, patience, consistency in training and did I mention, patience? My newest puppy is 7 months old, he is my sixth golden, and he was the mouthiest puppy I have ever had. There were times when I was standing out in the freezing cold at 4 a.m. when he was hanging onto my pajama bottoms I asked myself, what on earth did I think I was doing? Somewhere around the 3 to 4 month age, though, it occurred to me that he hadn't left marks on either my husband or myself in several days, and I knew we were over the hump. I don't know how to advise you on your question, but please understand, your puppy is just doing what golden puppies do. Don't expect a new puppy to be any different.


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

To the original OP, sorry but you DO sound like you are not ready and you do sound like you are fast to give up. 
I would have never been able to give any of my dogs up, even after just one day with them, but I think that is also a maturity issue.
Contact the breeder, let them have the dog back, enjoy your summer, go back to school.


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## Golden&Yorkie (Mar 11, 2012)

Be patient. Skipper was like that too and he's mellowed out with the biting and has the sweetest disposition. I hope you don't sell her as many young puppies are like that.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

I feel as through everyone is misunderstanding why I am asking this...it isnt because I'm not ready or just my puppy is a little nippy. Its because of her disposition. I love her and dont want to get rid of her but i feel as through it is a last resort in this very difficult situation.


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

My god, she is ONLY 9 weeks old and you have ONLY had her for 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## mooselips (Dec 4, 2011)

Our Bridget is 8 months old, if she gets over excited, she still jumps and bites me, she thinks it's a great game.
But thank goodness, it has decreased and only happens once a week.

What I would do, if I could do it all over again, was when she bit, I would gently grab her muzzle and tell her NO.


have patience, you're going to have a great dog, when this is all over.
At least that's what I'M planning on.....


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## eslucky (May 10, 2012)

It sounds to me like her *disposition is very normal* for a Golden puppy.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

I am aware of how old the puppy is and how long I have her. I've been working with her and he learned how to sit and lay when i tell her to do so with either hand signals or when I say so verbally. Maturity is not the issue...I'm actually at school for pre vet. The bottom line is its been hell for those three weeks.


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## inge (Sep 20, 2009)

Maybe a Golden Retriever is not your kind of dog...chances are, that if you sell this puppy or give it back to the breeder and get another one, you will encounter the same problems, because that is what Golden puppies do. Can you contact your breeder? Where did you get her from?


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## Lucy Mae's Mom (Jul 15, 2012)

Get her into puppy obedience classes! Make sure you call ahead and let them know she isn't up to date yet on her vaccinations. Most places are really good about keeping the area clean or will offer private lessons. You can't say giving her up is the last resort until you've tried everything. Also, get her nails clipped if they are leaving bad scratch marks. 

One thing to remember... She isn't nipping because of her disposition. Puppies nip/play like that with their litter mates/pack. So, don't take it personally and show her in other ways you are the alpha (you enter/exit doorways first, teach her "wait," etc.). Also, make sure she is getting enough physical and mental stimulation/exercise during her awake times. Start teaching her tricks/basic commands with clicker training. Goldens love to learn!  

Here's my best piece of advice that has worked Great with Lucy (now 16 weeks). Make sure she has PLENTY of chew toys (soft fabric material, old tshirts tied once in a knot, rubber toys, etc.). When she starts to nip, firmly say "No nip," hand her one of her toys and as soon as she starts chewing on it say "Get your toy" and praise her. If she still insists on nipping you, get up off the floor and say, "No nip. All done." and walk away from her.

The worst thing you can do when she is nipping is punish her, hold her muzzle, etc. She doesn't yet know what you expect from her and it's a natural behavior which makes it that much more difficult for her to understand. 

It takes total consistency and patience so you need to make sure your grandparents are on the same page. Also, we got Lucy at 12 weeks old and we've had her for four weeks now and there are still nights where I feel exhausted and confused. I don't think anyone here should be making you feel guilty for those feelings. It's a lot of work and totally understandable! Just know that the first month is the absolute hardest and each day will get a bit easier (with consistent training and patience). Don't feel anger towards her, she can sense that. Stay calm and patient.

Good luck! I know she'll be an amazing pup one day and I'd hate for you to miss out on that. 


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


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## lynn1970 (Feb 6, 2011)

Kahlalenay, you asked what I would do in this situation. I would keep the puppy and read every post about biting in the puppy section of this forum to get some tips on what to do to stop the biting. 

Take a deep breath and think about what you asked us. Was that the question that you really wanted to ask or are you asking for help with your situation. If you want help you have come to the right place. This is a stage your puppy is going through. I was thinking the same thing as you are when I went through this with my girl. I thought I had the meanest worst puppy on the planet...then I came here and knew I wasn't alone. I read the puppy section nonstop and found a lot of great tips, some worked some didn't and then I tried things on my own, some worked some didn't. Finally Rileah grew out of it or I did something right and I had the most wonderful puppy I could have ever asked for. I invested a ton of time and tears but I would do it all over again. If you want help because you love your puppy everyone on here will help you through it.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

I have a golden, he is 5 now and he is wonderful. So the breed is also not the issue. But thank you to everyone who has given me real and supportive advice!


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

kahlalenay said:


> I am aware of how old the puppy is and how long I have her. I've been working with her and he learned how to sit and lay when i tell her to do so with either hand signals or when I say so verbally. Maturity is not the issue...I'm actually at school for pre vet. The bottom line is its been hell for those three weeks.


I think your expectations for this puppy are too high, at this very young age anyway. She is nothing but a bundle of nerves and feelings right now. She is still trying to figure out where her mom went, where she is at and who you are. Yes, the first few weeks can truly be hell with a pup. Like I said before, if you expect anything different from another golden puppy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment again. Like others have said, maybe it would be best to contact her breeder, and if that isn't possible, maybe a rescue if you truly don't think you can live with her any longer. And please, before you decide to get another golden puppy, read thru all the threads in this forum on goldens. They are wonderful dogs, but certainly don't come like a lot of people expect, perfect and without issues to work thru.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

This makes me think you've already made up your mind. Contact either the breeder you got her from or a rescue. DO NOT SELL YOUR PUPPY TO STRANGERS. Even tho she's not working out well with you, you don't want her to go to a horrible home either. 



kahlalenay said:


> I am ready for a puppy? I've had a raised many dogs in my life because I do rescue missions & have for years..its just this puppy is too bold to use the excuse that she is "acting like a puppy"


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

No I havent made my mind, if i did i wouldnt be asking for opinions and advice. But so far I'm leaning towards keeping her and trying my best for a little bit longer and seeing where the rest of the puppy classes take her (she has already been to three)


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## lynn1970 (Feb 6, 2011)

I'm glad to hear that you want to keep her. There really is a wealth of information in the puppy section of this forum. You will get a lot of support here. Also, have you talked to your breeder? They might be able to assess the puppy and give you their opinion on her disposition.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

Hi. Welcome to the forum. Many golden retriever puppies are very mouthy and can be a handful even if gotten at the 8 week mark. There are many people over the years that have gotten their goldens "too soon" but are still able to end up with the dog of their dreams. It takes time and lots of effort no matter what age the GOLDEN puppy comes home. They are landsharks.

Dr. Ian Dunbar has two ebooks located at dogstardaily that can be downloaded for free or you can actually buy the hard back book.
Here is the link to the ebooks.

Free Downloads | Dog Star Daily Before you get your puppy / after you get your puppy

I lent out my hardbook but I know he gives great advice on how to teach a puppy bite inhibition. 

Many goldens really do best with lots of structure and gentle rules. Since your golden puppy is pretty wild from your post it probably would be best that if YOU can't have both eyes on the pup to have the pup confined to either a x-pen or a crate. It isn't fair to your grandparents to have to put up with a young puppy if it isn't actually their dog.

We don't always get that easy peasy calm dog we expect (there are some puppies out there like that) but in the scheme of things not so many. I think if you can you really should keep your pup and go through the experience of all that comes with training the pup. I think it will help you in your career over time. 
I think of it as we don't get the dog we want we get the dog we need. This will help you to grow in your learning on dogs. 

I would also suggest getting her into puppy classes and then moving on up. It will help you to have an experienced trainer at your fingertips that as you continue on will know your pup and will be able to offer tons of advice even on things that won't actually be dealt with in the classes.

We are also here for you. 

I do understand why you are second guessing yourself on keeping the pup it does become overwhelming when things aren't working out the way we want. But you can do this.
Rules
Structure
*Management (crate and x-pen)
lots of short training sessions
lots of play sessions to wear the pup out.
Lots of rewards when the pup makes good choices even if you haven't asked for them.

* management- When you cannot watch the pup this prevents the pup from unintentionally learning bad habits.

example: if you let her roam and you don't have both eyes on her and grandma puts down her tea and cookies on the coffee table then goes off to the ladies room, puppy gets those cookies and (was self rewarded for taking something from that coffee table she will most likely end up a counter/table surfer. If she is confined and cannot get to the reward she will not learn that she can sometimes get that cookie.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Welcome to the Forum!

I feel your frustration. Noting that you have raised many dogs and that your are active in rescue, it sounds like you might have an unusually mouthy Golden pup. Since the breeder sent the puppy home with you at 6 weeks old, I suspect the breeder is pretty irresponsible. I believe that in this state it is illegal to take a puppy from its mom before it is 8 weeks old, and there are good reasons for that. 

Biting is a common problem with Golden pups. If you use the Forum search feature, you'll find dozens of threads on that topic with lots of good advice.

Also, you might contact your local GRCA and ask for advice from a reputable breeder or trainer near you, or you might contact a good trainer or behaviorist and ask for a lesson or two with your puppy. The advice to enroll in a puppy class is very wise, too.

I wish you best of luck with your baby landshark. You sound like a loving owner encountering a difficult problem, so I hope you find a solution. I also hope your grandparents reach a point of welcoming your little one.


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## Jersey's Mom (Nov 25, 2007)

You've done "rescue missions" and yet you're considering dumping a 9 week old puppy because it bites? I'm sorry but that just doesn't make a lick of sense. The one thing I think rescue teaches, above all others, is that with some hard work and dedication any dog can become a great pet... even if they got a rough start in life. Tether the puppy to you, that way she won't bother your grandparents and get stuck in the crate (though some crate time is good too... puppies need plenty of quiet sleep time). Contact a trainer who focuses on positive reinforcement and learn how to work with this pup. 

Bold or not, this is typical puppy behavior. How many pups would you be willing to buy and resell until you found one that didn't bite? It would likely be a never-ending search. As someone else mentioned, if this puppy is truly too much for you to handle you should contact the breeder and work this out with them. If they are unwilling to take the pup back, then contact a rescue so that she can find a forever home and not be another dog that is bounced around on Craig's List throughout her life.

Julie, Jersey and Oz


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## eslucky (May 10, 2012)

My puppy is now 5 months old and was very similar to your puppy (and most of the puppies here). I'm thinking about what you said about "roam free and play in the house (under supervision of course)" and it made me think about what really helped us.We had an older Golden when we first got our puppy. The older one was sick and they needed to be separated most of the time. So out of this situation began one that really helped. We gated off our kitchen and the puppy was in there whenever we could not have our eyes on her. We did not give her access to the whole house till very recently and we did that gradually. They need to earn that privilege.Our puppy has matured a lot but still likes to bite some. We still use the kitchen and baby gates and she knows that is a safe place to play and sleep. At night she sleeps in a crate in our bedroom and is quite content there. 

Baby gates have been our best friend. If she gets too rowdy she goes back in the kitchen but we never let her think it is punishment. We can see her from where we are in the house most of the time. If you can't gate a place or room off you might think about an x pen.

It can be very frustrating at times but you will be overjoyed with any little signs of improvement.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

There have been SO MANY puppy parents come to the forum CONVINCED that there was something really wrong with their puppy because of it's biting. It DOES seem like a vicious puppy when you're the one going thru it. They sure earn their nickname: land shark!

But I can assure you that your puppy is very normal. Of course there's a range of normal from mild biting/excitement to average to more than average. But it's all normal!

Classes help, patience (times outs in the crate) but mostly time is the biggest help. They ALL outgrow this behavior whether the parents do anything about it or not. That's why it's called puppy behavior. Grown, mature dogs don't do this. So your 5 year old dog is not exceptional...that's how they all turn out.

When people said you weren't ready, they didn't mean you didn't have the knowledge. But that getting a puppy at this time in your life (not having a place of your own and school starting) maybe was premature. But don't worry, you can make this work!!! We're here to help.:wavey:


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## Katarina (Jan 19, 2011)

My puppy was nippy and mouthy too, I still have scars on my hands and I remember very well how it was hurting when the scars were fresh. He also used to jump on me all the time and ripped my clothes: sleeves on my T-Shirts, new pair of jeans, etc. It took a lot of patience and dedication on my side, it never crossed my mind to get rid of him because of his behavior. He will be five in November and I am very happy with the way he is. He knows what is expected from him, understands what we want from him. He is a great dog.
If you can not handle a mouthy and nippy puppy don't get a puppy.


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## GinnyinPA (Oct 31, 2010)

Your puppy is just a baby. Expecting it not to bite at this stage is like expecting a human baby not to cry. She can't help being a puppy. She's not mean or aggressive or bad tempered, she's just a baby that was removed from her litter much too soon and is just starting to learn how to behave. Three weeks isn't enough time to say that your puppy can't learn how to behave. As you'll see when you read the puppy forum, it takes about a year for some puppies to really learn bite inhibition, and some take longer. With time and patience, they do learn. But you need to really understand that your puppy is still much too young to expect much behavior modification at this stage. Her instincts are to explore the world, using her mouth. Later she'll learn to use her nose and eyes - but at this stage of her life, it's all mouth.

If you can't wait patiently for a few months for her to grow up - then I agree, you aren't ready for a golden puppy.


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

If you can tell my the people I thanked for their posts - I think you're totally on the wrong page here about your pup. I'd just like to point out that if you continue to "stick it out" with this pup and continue to completely misunderstand your dogs behaviors or attitude, you're not going to get very far. You really should do the reading that is suggested and allow the personal accounts of so many who have raised GRs outweigh your own personal experience with one golden retreiver. There is help to be had here but you have to open up and listen to what is being advised or told to you.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Could you post a video of the behavior that concerns you? If we could see it, we could offer better advice.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

I don't know about everyone else, but I am rarely able to "hear" advice from people who begin by criticizing me. The OP, who is a new member, has asked for suggestions about what she can do about her puppy's behavior. Isn't that part of what the community is here for? It seems reasonable to expect responses to provide that. We can't help the pup if we drive the OP away.

I am grateful to everyone who has provided a constructive response.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

GoldensGirl said:


> I don't know about everyone else, but I am rarely able to "hear" advice from people who begin by criticizing me. The OP, who is a new member, has asked for suggestions about what she can do about her puppy's behavior. Isn't that part of what the community is here for? It seems reasonable to expect responses to provide that. We can't help the pup if we drive the OP away.
> 
> I am grateful to everyone who has provided a constructive response.


Thank you for saying this - I was thinking the same thing. I was also wondering why so many others have come here asking the same questions and haven't received this kind of response. 

I can't tell you how many times I've felt like I'm totally incompetent when it comes to Max - and if I had come here and gotten this kind of response, I would have been in tears.


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## sameli102 (Aug 23, 2009)

Penny's Mom said:


> Could you post a video of the behavior that concerns you? If we could see it, we could offer better advice.


I was going to suggest the same thing. It would be helpful to see if it is just typical golden puppy behavior or not.
While I adore goldens and they DO outgrow it I have seen one in my life time that is totally nutty and I would not want to deal with. Her owner was a saint and worked and worked with her but she never did get better.

From the sounds of your pup though it could just be boredom from getting locked up in the crate because she has misbehaved compounding the problem and making her worse when she gets out.
I'd actually be more concerned about trying to keep her in an apartment while you go to school. I would fear having to part with her at a later date when you have both grown close. Are you sure you want to try to handle a new puppy and a 5 year old golden while still in school with no yard and no home of your own? That's a lot to take on.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

kahlalenay said:


> 3weeks ago I got a golden puppy. She was 6 weeks at the time.She is nippy,&constantly barks and growls at me. My hands are covered in scratches&bite marks. I have heard that if a puppy is sold before 8 weeks they haven't learned bite inhibition. So this might be the reason that no matter what I do she doesn't comprehend that biting hurts.The problem is that at the moment I'm living with my grandparents (until I go back to school and into my new apartment in the fall) &they constantly keep putting the puppy in the crate which kills me because she needs to be able to roam free and play in the house (under supervision of course).I have a Pom who is the most laid back loving dog in the world & when he was a puppy they were NEVER like that with him,their excuse is that they dont like my new puppy's personality.So should I sell her and get a different golden.What sparked this idea is that my sister purchased a golden doodle and she is as sweet as can be. I feel as if my dog is too much for me to handle.I'm just so conflicted between keeping my puppy and trying to get her to stop being so strong willed and bitty or getting a new puppy and hoping that it has a better disposition. If you were in my shoes what would you do? Thank you!



I understand that their has been "criticism" to the OP however this is her first post..she didn't ask for advice on how to manage what is probably a very hyper, yet NORMAL, pup she went straight to.."so should I sell her and get a different golden." I'm sorry that rubs me the wrong way. If she would have come here saying, my pup is mouthy and I need help, or maybe even looking through the threads (since their are a TON of them) that would come off a lot better IMHO. 

Every dog is different, every breed is different. Do your homework and research the breed. Some dogs go through a lot of chewing/biting/mouthing regardless of what may have happened with the litter mates. Yes, being with them longer may have helped, I firmly believe 8 weeks is minimum to be separated but you have to work with what you have now that you have pup. If YOU can't dedicate the proper time, training, energy, patience to go along with that, then maybe a different home would be better for the pup. I would not, however, say go and get another one right now. Wait until you are out of school, because going to vet school is a long, hard, time consuming process and frankly it would not be fair to try to get a pup. If you want another dog, go the rescue route as you have been before, their are specific golden rescues all over this country and you would be ale to have a low key dog instead of one that will chew everything to pieces.


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## Ohiomom9977 (Jul 27, 2012)

We are a few days in to a young puppy as well so I feel your pain. Our bigger problem is the crate but I'm hesitant to ask questions after seeing responses to this post.


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## Goldens R Great (Aug 19, 2010)

My first golden puppy wasn't bitey at all so of course I thought that was the norm. When I got my second puppy (who was taken away from her mother at 6 1/2 weeks) I was quite surprised that she was so bitey. She wasn't like my first puppy at all! I soon realized a golden puppy that isn't bitey isn't typical!  Anyway, my second pup bit my face, my hands, my legs, ripped my clothes, etc. I thought she was a little devil and I wasn't real thrilled with her to be perfectly honest. I did take it as a challenge though and I was determined that she was going to be a good dog someday. I realized she needed to do something with her mouth so I taught her to lick my hand. Not everyone would suggest this, but it did work for us. Also, I would suggest that when she bites you, make her sit and then give her a toy. I wouldn't immediately put a toy in her mouth right after she bites you because then you are rewarding her for biting you. Eventually the biting stopped and my little devil dog turned into a total sweetheart. She just needed to grow up and learn new behaviors, and I needed to learn how to help her do that with patience and positive reinforcement.

The bitey pup that I've been talking about, Addy, passed away a year and a half ago. When I was with her holding her paws in the last few moments of her life, you don't know how much I wished that she was once again that bitey little devil of a dog. I think if you stick with your little gal, and it will take time, you will be so happy you didn't give up on her.


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

OnMyWay2MyDreams said:


> I understand that their has been "criticism" to the OP however this is her first post..she didn't ask for advice on how to manage what is probably a very hyper, yet NORMAL, pup she went straight to.."so should I sell her and get a different golden." I'm sorry that rubs me the wrong way. If she would have come here saying, my pup is mouthy and I need help, or maybe even looking through the threads (since their are a TON of them) that would come off a lot better IMHO.


That is what really bothered me the most, that the advice she was asking wasn't how to get thru the land shark stage of having a golden puppy but whether or not she should sell her and get a different golden. I totally understand how overwhelmed you can get with a puppy, I have been there, but the fact she essentially wanted to dispose of this puppy by selling it and replacing it with a better one, one that wouldn't nip or bite or mouth had me seeing a bit red for a while.


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## lynn1970 (Feb 6, 2011)

my4goldens said:


> That is what really bothered me the most, that the advice she was asking wasn't how to get thru the land shark stage of having a golden puppy but whether or not she should sell her and get a different golden. I totally understand how overwhelmed you can get with a puppy, I have been there, but the fact she essentially wanted to dispose of this puppy by selling it and replacing it with a better one, one that wouldn't nip or bite or mouth had me seeing a bit red for a while.


Exactly! That's why I was trying to get her to clarify if that was really the question she wanted to ask.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

This has gotten way out of hand. Most of you on this forum are ridiculous, & defense for no reason whatsoever. I came here for advice not to be judged. All of you are misunderstanding what I am saying. I'm saying something is ad penal with my puppy's behavior. It goes above& beyond typical puppy issues. I have don't rescue missions. Some include flying to pick up puppies & rescuing them from puppies mills while others include housing them in my home. Each time a puppy would leave a part of me would leave & that's why I decided to get my own puppy. Whoever is leaving the nasty comments is a sad person and a sad dog owner..cause you obviously doesn't have any compassion. Learn to grow up a little, maybe you guys aren't mature to have a golden retriever. But to those that gave me advice thank you ever so much.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

As to the person who said this wasn't my grandpRents job, or whatever it was along those lines I know this. But when I go in the shower or step out to pic up groceries my puppy should not be in the crate. It is not my fault they do this..they just don't like the puppy which is why it's harder to keep her. & I was asking for advice. For your opinios and some hope that everything will be alright. I wasn't asking for negative comments or to be put down for asking this. Ive loved this puppy since day one & giving up her is like giving up a child to me..so you have to think that the probelms have to be severely bad for me to even consider gettIng rid of her.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

kahlalenay said:


> I have a golden, he is 5 now and he is wonderful. So the breed is also not the issue. But thank you to everyone who has given me real and supportive advice!


I am confused. I your first post you mention you have a Pom and then later say your sister has a golden doodle. So do you now have adult golden, too. If you got the golden as an adult it is totally different than a golden puppy. Golden puppies are land sharks!!


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

Also this isn't my first post..I have another account but silly me forgot my password so I made a new one..it's "Kahla" & I did ask for advice on biting some time ago.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

kahlalenay said:


> As to the person who said this wasn't my grandpRents job, or whatever it was along those lines I know this. But when I go in the shower or step out to pic up groceries my puppy should not be in the crate. It is not my fault they do this..they just don't like the puppy which is why it's harder to keep her. & I was asking for advice. For your opinios and some hope that everything will be alright. I wasn't asking for negative comments or to be put down for asking this. Ive loved this puppy since day one & giving up her is like giving up a child to me..so you have to think that the probelms have to be severely bad for me to even consider gettIng rid of her.


A puppy should be confined when it can't be watched and a "rescuer" you should already know this. If your grandparents can't/won't watch her than she should be in her crate for her own safety.

Not trying to sound negative or harsh. It just does not seem like a golden or really any puppy is a good fit for you at this time. Important part being- At this time- As in right now- Present tense.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

I have a Pomeranian, his name I Angelo he will be 8 in November. But he lives with my grandparents because he was raised their & they are just as much his owners as I am. The golden's name is Carson he turned 5 on tuseday. He was a family friends puppy & when they were moving they gave him to us he was still a puppy, I would say about 4 months when we got him. He lives with my larents because he is too big for my grandparents hluse & grew fondly of my father. Theyre attached at the hip. My sister has a golden doodle which she got a week ago & she is only three days older than my new golden puppy Cora. Hopefully I cleared things up.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

But this is constantly. It isn't needed for her crate training this is she nips once and they throw her in there & I have to take her out or I got to fix my hair & they through her in their even though she was already in there for her nap. It's just unnessiccary.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

A puppy is a perfect thing for me right now as I'm going into my own apparent in septemember. Which the timing is really mome of your business.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

When I was in college living in my apartment there was no way I had the time for a puppy. Leaving them alone all day during classes would not be fair to the pup. Plus the studying and interruptions would have been just to much for me or the pup.
You should really give this a lot of thought.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

kahlalenay said:


> 3weeks ago I got a golden puppy. She was 6 weeks at the time.What sparked this idea is that my sister purchased a golden doodle and she is as sweet as can be. I feel as if my dog is too much for me to handle.I'm just so conflicted between keeping my puppy and trying to get her to stop being so strong willed and bitty or getting a new puppy and hoping that it has a better disposition. If you were in my shoes what would you do? Thank you!


You say yourself the puppy is too much for you to handle. 



kahlalenay said:


> My sister has a golden doodle which she got a week ago & she is only three days older than my new golden puppy Cora. Hopefully I cleared things up.


You got your puppy 3 weeks ago but she only got her puppy 1 week ago so how could her puppy make you want to get 1 for yourself?



kahlalenay said:


> But this is constantly. It isn't needed for her crate training this is she nips once and they throw her in there & I have to take her out or I got to fix my hair & they through her in their even though she was already in there for her nap. It's just unnessiccary.


A crate is not just for napping. Is a chill shot for puppy to settle down and relax in. 



kahlalenay said:


> A puppy is a perfect thing for me right now as I'm going into my own apparent in septemember. Which the timing is really mome of your business.


I back an re-read my post. I repeatedly said right now. Right now you are living with your grandparents who do not gave the same boundaries and thoughts about puppy rearing that you have. That is my opinion. You are living in their house so you and puppy must live by their rules 

You should have waited til you were in your own place and gotten a puppy that better fit you. Ie not as mouthy and high energy. Could the breeder have held the puppy til you got your own place again?


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

Tennyson said:


> When I was in college living in my apartment there was no way I had the time for a puppy. Leaving them alone all day during classes would not be fair to the pup. Plus the studying and interruptions would have been just to much for me or the pup.
> You should really give this a lot of thought.


I got Cozy when I was in college by life revolved around her as did my classes. My schedule was made with her feeding, potty, and training needs in mind. Her needs came and still do before my own. (This includes all my furrbutts). No parties, etc. Work, school, puppy that was life.

From your posts it seems like it is only puppy right now and she is keeping your hands full. Balancing it all will be difficult.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I used to put Penny in her crate any time I couldn't watch her: going potty myself, showering, going out to get the mail, cleaning, etc. It actually helped her by giving her a time out when she hadn't been 'bad'. It helped her to be by herself and yet not be home alone. It was really a good thing.

I'm a grandparent and I know I would use a crate a lot more now. I just posted the other day that after a week with the grandkids, I know I can't do a puppy again. So don't be too hard on your grandparents. It's amazing how much energy WE DON'T HAVE anymore.

Being 65 is not the same as being 25! Sadly.


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

My only question is, since you obviously live with others, was everyone in the household in agreement with having a new puppy in the home? If not it really is not fair to the puppy nor to the rest of the members of the household to expect them to be tolerant of typical puppy behavior. Although, puppies can be quite cute and sweet they also can be a real handful.

I actually have a lot I would like to say about your initial post but most likely it would not be something you could take in so that's it for me.

I hope you are able to find a good and loving home for your puppy.


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## Jersey's Mom (Nov 25, 2007)

You can't really get mad at people for not realizing you'd posted for help under a different name in the past. How could anyone have guessed that? So as far as anyone knew, your first post on this name was truly your first post. 

Anyway, I looked through your original post on your other name. It appears to have been posted only a week ago. That suggests, to me, that you are expecting instant results. You spent the first 2 weeks you had this dog pinning her to the ground, which folks pointed out to you in that thread was most likely proving to be counterproductive. Now you've given it a week of other methods and expect there to be a noticeable difference. 

You claim you've tried everything. If you've truly tried everything in the course of a week, you haven't given any one thing enough time to have an impact. If you've changed methods each time there's an incident, which is the only way you could have possibly tried everything in a week, then you're confusing her. Or you've only tried 1 or 2 things and are reacting out of frustration that they haven't had the instant results you want. Raising a puppy, especially one removed from the litter before any bite inhibition can be developed, is a matter of patience. It's going to take weeks to months to get this behavior under some semblance of control... and even then, it likely won't be perfect. That's not because your particular dog is worse or harder to train than any other. It's just a fact of puppyhood. A four month old puppy who stayed with the litter till 8 weeks and received consistent management in the 2 months before you got her is a much different situation than a 9 week old puppy removed from the litter at 6 weeks and given a plethora of training techniques in the course of 3 weeks. You'd receive more constructive advice if you could give us a better idea of exactly what you've tried and what the results have been. 

When you are in your apartment, where will your puppy be while you take a shower, get the groceries or fix your hair? In the crate. Part of crate training is putting the dog in the crate at any time your attention cannot be 100% focused on her. If your grandparents are unwilling to take that responsibility while you are indisposed, then just start acting as though you live alone and containing her when you personally can't be supervising her. Someday your grandparents will see the wonderful dog she grows into and maybe they will come to understand that this is a normal part of puppyhood... or maybe not... but if they don't have the patience required to deal with her for right now, then you can't force them to.

Julie, Jersey and Oz

PS~ Once you get 3 more posts you will be able to send private messages. I'd recommend that you contact one of the mods and tell them that you've started a new account because you could not get in to your old one. They will likely close the old one to cut down on confusion. Because of some issues on this board a few years ago, there is a specific rule against creating multiple screen names. I know you didn't do it for any malicious reason, but you still need to address it with them. There are ways to recover or change your password if you forget it. Usually when you sign in there is a link under the screenname and password boxes that says "Forget your password?" or something to that effect. Just in case it happens again.


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## Gold-Rush (Mar 21, 2012)

Tennyson said:


> When I was in college living in my apartment there was no way I had the time for a puppy. Leaving them alone all day during classes would not be fair to the pup. Plus the studying and interruptions would have been just to much for me or the pup.
> You should really give this a lot of thought.


You shouldn't base your judgment of her time availability on your experience. Everyone's college schedule, interests, priorities, and responsibilities are all different. I'm going into my senior year of college, and my puppy just turned 19 weeks old. When classes start in the fall, I'll be gone an average of 3 hours a day during the week. I also lived with my parents for three weeks with my puppy before getting my own place. It isn't ideal, but it can be done with a dedicated person. Not just anyone can raise a puppy while in college--but I think that we can all agree that all individuals are different.


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

You have mistaked again, my sister didn't not make me want to get a puppy. I had my puppy prior to hers. My sisters dog sparked the idea of getting another puppy. Because when my grandparents saw hoes her acts compared to mine they were convinced mine is a little devil. & im in my 3rd year of college most of the classes I'm taking this semester are online not hands on. I got a puppy so I wouldn't have to be lonely. And for the reasothawed when I move to nc to get my dvm she will be trained. So I did think this through.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

Why as a rescuer would you think pinning any dog/puppy down is okay?! Like Jersey's Mom- I also looked you up under your old name. If you are doing this to a nippy puppy what do you do to dogs/puppies who are scarred emotionally by trauma when they misbehave?


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

I don't understand why everyone is not picking what I am saying. I don't need to explain myself to people who are assuming & so quick to judge. I clarified that I wanted advice but se of you continue to make me seem like a bad owner by interpreting what I am saying,& wrongly may I add.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

kahlalenay said:


> You have mistaked again, *my sister didn't not make me want to get a puppy. I had my puppy prior to hers My sisters dog sparked the idea of getting another puppy. *Because when my grandparents saw hoes her acts compared to mine they were convinced mine is a little devil. & im in my 3rd year of college most of the classes I'm taking this semester are online not hands on. I got a puppy so I wouldn't have to be lonely. And for the reasothawed when I move to nc to get my dvm she will be trained. So I did think this through.


You contradicted yourself again.

You may have the long-term thought out but missed the short-term. You are in their house.

Getting into DVM school is not an easy task. Best luck to you there.


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## Gold-Rush (Mar 21, 2012)

kahlalenay said:


> You have mistaked again, my sister didn't not make me want to get a puppy. I had my puppy prior to hers. My sisters dog sparked the idea of getting another puppy. Because when my grandparents saw hoes her acts compared to mine they were convinced mine is a little devil. & im in my 3rd year of college most of the classes I'm taking this semester are online not hands on. I got a puppy so I wouldn't have to be lonely. And for the reasothawed when I move to nc to get my dvm she will be trained. So I did think this through.


I'm on your side as far as the college + puppy goes, but I see why you put a lot of people off because you're talking about your puppy like it's a broken electronic able to be taken back to the store and exchanged. 

I understand how difficult a golden puppy is, and how it can drive you to your wit's end. I also understand that your grandparents aren't being helpful. But save yourself, stop talking about swapping out puppies, read the advice you've been given, and start working to put it into practice for long term.


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## Blondie (Oct 10, 2009)

kahlalenay said:


> What sparked this idea is that my sister purchased a golden doodle and she is as sweet as can be.


Seems this was more of an impulsive thought, rather than a well researched, well thought out plan on getting a puppy. JMHO.

Next, I will add that my Maggie was very much like your puppy. I remember at obedience class, Maggie was in a mouthy mood and had my hand bleeding! The instructor was not happy. Puppyhood is a period of time, which is difficult for some. I am concerned with your living arrangements and having a puppy in a situation where she isn't well-loved. Puppies are A LOT of work and your time invested can only make your relationship with your puppy optimal. Please don't make comparisons to your puppy and your other golden, which I recall you said you recieved when the puppy was 4 months old. A lot happens from 9 weeks to 4 months! After puppyhood, you will endure adolescence, which actually can seem worse than puppyhood. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Maggie is 2 1/2 now and is the MOST joyful and loving creature I have ever had, with a small amount of mischief added for fun! I remember my DH was soooo worried with all of Maggie's mouthy behavior, in that he was thinking that we would have to put her down, because she had a screw loose and he was worried about legal liabilities, if she ever bit anyone(which she hasn't). They call them landsharks for a reason. It's a tough situation to be in. Please remember that we are here to offer tips and ideas. That our opinions are based on our personal experiences and that we want what is best for our goldens, as well as others. Hoping you find a solution that will work for you and your golden puppy.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

kahlalenay said:


> I don't understand why everyone is not picking what I am saying. I don't need to explain myself to people who are assuming & so quick to judge. I clarified that I wanted advice but se of you continue to make me seem like a bad owner by interpreting what I am saying,& wrongly may I add.


But you didn't come here for advice..that's where we all are confused and a little bit angry about..you came in a sense asking if you should get rid of your pup and get another. We had no background info, just that your pup was difficult. We can only help you with as much information as you give us, it works both ways! We didn't know you had another name. So start over and ask for help, you would be surprised at the resources the people here can give you. 

Also, I'm a vet tech and although I don't have DVM being my name, going to school WILL require a lot of your time, please think it thoroughly and have plans of action before you head off to vet school!


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## KMerc (Jul 28, 2012)

Pinning her down to calm her down so she is aware that I'm in charge? Not pinning her so she becomes fearf of human hands. Big difference.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

kahlalenay said:


> Pinning her down to calm her down so she is aware that I'm in charge? Not pinning her so she becomes fearf of human hands. Big difference.


OY!
And she knows the difference how?


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## BajaOklahoma (Sep 27, 2009)

When you read something on the interest, you are limited to what is written. Wording is critical - I will probably read this post 3 or 4 times , make changes to try and make it come across the way I hope and only then will I hit send.
Without facial expressions and tone of voice, words are all we have. They are what create the impression we form of you. And vice versa.

Bottomline, this forum is full of people who love Goldens. Puppies, Seniors, competetive dogs, couch potatoes, healthy and ill - there are others who have been there or are there with you. We really do want to help. You are understandably emotional and going through a difficult time right now while we have the advantage of distance/objectivity. Unfortunately, the responses may not always be what you want to hear - that happens when you ask for advice. Twenty people can give you twenty different pieces of advice - and they can all be good depending on the situation.


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

I hope that if you do attend vet school that you learn a lot more about puppies, behavior, and methods of helping to guide a pup to have a solid start in life. Listening and understanding concerns is a large part of being a veterinarian, as well as being tenacious in finding answers when you come up against a problem.

At this point it seems you have a lot to learn.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

kahlalenay said:


> I don't understand why everyone is not picking what I am saying. I don't need to explain myself to people who are assuming & so quick to judge. I clarified that I wanted advice but se of you continue to make me seem like a bad owner by interpreting what I am saying,& wrongly may I add.


You are going to have a hard time convincing most of us that treating your puppy like a commodity and trading her in for a better model is a good thing. If you want validation for doing something like that, the forum is not the best place for that. 

I sense there is a lot of stress and chaos at your grandparents due to their unhappiness with the situation. Perhaps you don't have the maturity or the patience at this point in your life to handle this particular puppy under these circumstances. Puppies pick up these things, adding to their own fears and anxieties. Your grandparents are actually doing what most experts recommend--crating the puppy for short periods when she can't be adequately supervised. It doesn't matter that you've handled lots of dogs in the past--the fact is every puppy is unique in temperament and present with different issues and challenges. It takes time, patience, love and discipline to raise a puppy to a good adult dog. Giving up so soon at three weeks leads many of us to believe the puppy would be better off with a rescue with a volunteer who has the time to devote to the proper training and socialization of the pup. Just remember the time period for teaching a puppy bite inhibition and socialization skills is fast approaching (see Ian Dunbar's book linked above about this) and the longer you wait to decide, the harder it will be in the long run for whoever ends up owning the puppy.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

kahlalenay said:


> As to the person who said this wasn't my grandpRents job, or whatever it was along those lines I know this. But when I go in the shower or step out to pic up groceries my puppy should not be in the crate. It is not my fault they do this..they just don't like the puppy which is why it's harder to keep her. & I was asking for advice. For your opinios and some hope that everything will be alright. I wasn't asking for negative comments or to be put down for asking this. Ive loved this puppy since day one & giving up her is like giving up a child to me..so you have to think that the probelms have to be severely bad for me to even consider gettIng rid of her.


Well, I defended you, but I have to say to this - YES, the puppy SHOULD be in a crate when you're in the shower or stepping out for groceries!


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## Suni52 (Jan 18, 2012)

kahlalenay said:


> Pinning her down to calm her down so she is aware that I'm in charge? Not pinning her so she becomes fearf of human hands. Big difference.


 I do understand where you come from with this. My husband is in law enforcement, and I know the work dogs that his colleagues own are trained that way, but goldens aren't that kind of dog, and I know that it's not going to be received well on this forum. Goldens are so people pleasing that the best way to get them to perform is with positive reinforcement. It sounds like what you have learned in the past is a very different approach than what most people practice here.
I know that your life and situation are going to be changing in the near future, but can you get your dog on a schedule. Wake up, pee, eat, lots of exercise, crate. You shower, get your stuff done. Take her back out, play with her, tire her out, and while your doing your online work, keep her tethered to you at your feet. She'll most likely sleep if she's tired. Or give her an irresistable treat at your feet like a rope toy soaked in chicken broth, or peanut butter in a toy for her to lick. 
Just try to get into a routine that you can both live with, and maybe see if you can remove any responsiblity from your grandparents all together since they will just put her in the crate no matter what. It doesn't sound like they are on board to help you with raising her. 
I also crate my dog too if she is getting overexcited and won't settle. I do use it as a calming tool. Otherwise she'll think that she just has the run of my house. 
Just throwing some ideas out there and want to wish you good luck with your pup. If you do decide to re-home her, I think your best bet would be an older dog, and not another Golden, because they really are mouthy. Mine is 1yr, and even though she doesn't chew on us, nothing else is safe. All of my kids toys are constantly in her mouth as well as everything outside.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

Fascinating thread... Once again came late to the party...


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## Jersey's Mom (Nov 25, 2007)

kahlalenay said:


> Pinning her down to calm her down so she is aware that I'm in charge? Not pinning her so she becomes fearf of human hands. Big difference.


Does this mean you are still pinning her?

Do you know where the idea for this "training technique" (I shudder to call it that) came from?

Do you know why it's been widely discredited as an appropriate technique to use on pet dogs?

If not, please read up on David Mech and the research he did with wolves... including his retraction of the original outcomes of that study.

But that's wolves... let's talk dogs for a moment. When one dog pins another, there is almost exclusively one of two things going on:

1. They are playing and wrestling. My boys pin each other, chew on each other's necks, growl and groan... it's really amusing to watch, because I'm certain it is play. I'm certain because they break up the action with play bows and and other friendly body language, as well as give each other short rest periods to come back under threshold. 

2. One dog is aggressively attacking the other with the intent to harm and/or kill it. Obviously, the body language here would be significantly different. 

A dog doesn't pin another one down simply to show he is in charge. This behavior makes absolutely no sense to the dog. So even though you don't mean it in a mean or abusive way, the end result is that your dog comes to fear your strange and aggressive actions. Or they initially think you're playing and bounce right back at you after the she's released to continue the "game"... which causes you to amp up your behavior... which eventually leads back to the end result of the dog fearing you and becoming hand-shy. 

Want to show your dog you're in charge? Be a kind leader. Reward good behavior. Manage your pup so that she has less opportunities to engage in unwanted behavior. Teach self control by instituting NILIF (Nothing in Life is Free) training. This is how you become the boss. Not by pinning her to the ground. If you are, in fact, still doing this... then it doesn't surprise me at all that you've seen no improvement in her behavior.

Julie, Jersey and Oz


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

kahlalenay said:


> Pinning her down to calm her down so she is aware that I'm in charge? Not pinning her so she becomes fearf of human hands. Big difference.


If you believe that there is a difference and are not open to changing your mind, then I'm done here. And I feel your puppy would be better off with someone who knows how to treat a Golden in a loving, patient and gentle way. Please contact a rescue ASAP...the longer you abuse this puppy the harder it will be for anyone to rehabilitate it.


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

kahlalenay said:


> I feel as through everyone is misunderstanding why I am asking this...it isnt because I'm not ready or just my puppy is a little nippy. Its because of her disposition. I love her and dont want to get rid of her but i feel as through it is a last resort in this very difficult situation.


After reading thru all your posts today and the ones under your other user name, I agree. I do believe you ought to rehome your puppy. I don't think that at this time in your life and what you are dealing with, a puppy is the right fit for you. But please, don't sell her and get a new puppy to take her place. Wait until you are better equipped to deal with the needs of a puppy. A rescue will help you if you give her up and they will make sure that her new home will be a proper fit for her. I hope you give this and all the other advice you have gotten today very serious consideration. We only want the best for your puppy and for you.


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