# Need advice: Separation Anxiety



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

I think my puppy (11wks) has a case of separation anxiety. We got 3 main caretakers of the dog; dad, mom, and myself. Now I'm trying to do things by the book as best as I can (my first dog), my mom spoils the crap out of him, and my dad is the playful/stern one. Sadly, I'm the only one who read up on this breed and tried to follow it by the book and what my parents (especially my mom) are doing clashes with what is the proper way to raise a Golden puppy. Yes it doesn't help at all that we're not on the same page, though my dad spends alot of time teaching him tricks or just leaving him alone while he's watching tv and Maverick is in the same room laying down or chewin away on his toy. My Mom is the worst, she's constantly wanting to pet him, pick him up, hold him, give him treats for tricks, etc.

Well anyway, today I noticed that my mom made a pretty big deal about leaving the house. Letting Maverick follow her to the door, petting him goodbye and all that. I witnessed from upstairs (out of his sight) and he was whimpering, crying, scratching at the door. I watched a little bit more and next I know it he peed on the floor (thank goodness for hardwood). So I go downstairs, keep him in the backyard while he's whining to come in, and clean up the mess. I let him back in the house and go upstairs to grab my laptop. He sees me go up and starts to whine, as soon as I'm out of site he wonders to the kitchen. I settle down in the kitchen with my laptop and he runs back to the door, whines some more then comes back to me and lays down. At this point I put him in his crate (have to carry him there as he doesn't know "go crate") and he knocks out. It's been 20 minutes and he's still knocked out.

So from what I've googled, I believe he has a case of separation anxiety, at least a minor one. We've had him for 2 weeks and we have a pretty set-in-stone schedule where someone is normally home and of course spending their time downstairs with the dog (where his crate/area is). I've left him in his crate while I am within his view and he whines (did it this morning, as well as many other times), whether I'm watching TV on the couch or from the kitchen. He'll whine a bit and then settle as if he's trying to sleep, doesn't go for his chew toy at all. We do feed him his meals in kongs in his crate while we're in view and he doesn't whine. In fact he stays silent when he's done, waits for us to open and goes to get water. However, when he's not eating his meal and we're around, he'll whine. We've only had him for 2 weeks, but all 3 of us can admit he spends most of his day outside the crate instead of inside it. 

If anyone's dog has/had separation anxiety how did you handle it? Mine is only 11 weeks so I know he can still learn pretty quickly that it's ok to be alone. I know you're not supposed to praise/release the pup when he's whining, but also read that 5-10min intervals is best to start. Should I just wait til he stops whining or what? I've also noticed that the closer I move to the crate the more settled he gets.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Just to add: My dad and I spend alot of our time watching tv. With Maverick's crate/area in the same room as the tv, we tend to spend alot of time in that area with him. Would it be wise to spend time away from this area while he's in his crate awake during the day? I mean for now he whines and barks, but it should get better over time right? Thinking leave the room in 5-10 min intervals. Enter the room without acknowledging Maverick, let him whine a bit more and wait til he is silent/calm to open up the crate. Maybe let him wander around, look at us, or find his toys for maybe 2-3 minutes and then praise/acknowledge him?


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

An 11 week old puppy does not have seperation anxiety. He is a baby and is just learning how to be alone without his littermates and mom, so being a little sad when he is entirely alone is to be expected and does not indicate an seperation anxiety issue. He just needs to be secure. You are right though that your mom should not make a big deal about leaving him, that will create seperation anxiety as he gets older. Just a calm goodbye is what she needs to do.

Now, if there won't be anyone to watch him he should be in his crate so he is safe.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

I took that into consideration as well, but we've had him since he was 8 weeks, so about 3 weeks already. I know we are now his pack and he looks to us, but the way he was acting by the door (scratching the door, whining, barking, pacing, and eventually urinating) led me to believe it could be that. Also the fact he went back to the door twice and pretty much doing the same thing.

He was out of his crate for about an hour, let him play a bit, did some light command training, let him eliminate, and now he's back in the crate. I am downstairs right now within eye view and the TV on. At this point would it be right to leave the room and do my own thing upstairs or should I be down here? He really looks like he's about to fall asleep again.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Earlier when my dad came home from work, Maverick heard him and started whining for about 5-10 min. I told my dad before he entered the living room that not to make eye contact or even look in Maverick's general direction. About 10 min he came back down to let Maverick out to eliminate, do some light training, and just spend some time with him, this lasted about 20 min. I came down about 10 minutes later to a quiet/sleepy Maverick and brushed him for about 5 min. Then I did some light training for about 5 min, let him out to play for about 10min, and now he's back in his crate ready to doze off again. 

Still getting him used to his crate, but all he seems to do is sleep in it. He never really entertains himself in the crate and always ends up whining. Once he's done whining it seems he gives up and dozes off.


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

If he is crated and you need to go about your own activities it's perfectly fine, especially if he is falling asleep. And you want him to be comfortable enough with the crate to sleep in it wihtout complaint.

Whining for attention is totally normal, not an indication of anxiety seperation. Looking for your mom at the door she left through is also normal, "Hey where did she go? Is she in there?"

Most of the things your puppy does on a daily basis is just being a normal puppy and does not indicate a problem.


----------



## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Take it from me: don't obsess over this. I OBSESSED over the idea that Flora had separation anxiety when she was a puppy b/c she would throw absolute fits when I left her alone in the crate. I mean, I'm surprised I didn't have a panic attack during that time, I was so worked up about her potentially having SA.

Anyhow, because I was obsessed o) I did make sure that I started leaving Flora alone in her crate for a certain amount of time EVERY day, and I increased her duration in the crate when she was ready. I would leave the house, go drive somewhere, do something, and leave her alone with a stuffed kong or a new toy.

A lot of times I would come home and sneak around the back to check in on her through the window without her knowing I was home. I was always anticipating a barking, crying, frenzied puppy. 99% of the time she was sleeping.

Flora's 3.5 now and is the most laid back dog ever when it comes to being left alone. I have never had a problem with SA with her. All of my anxiety when she was a puppy was a waste of energy!

So my advice is take it easy, and just work on leaving your pup alone by himself for small periods of time during the day and work up to longer periods of time as he gets older. He's young, he'll be fine, trust me. Don't get all crazy about it like I did.


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Yeah I guess it is normal puppy behavior, but it's the first time I've seen him do such a thing. The urinating on the floor is what really got me thinking he might have separation anxiety. I was just worried for him so a bit of an overreaction from me. 

When Maverick is sleepy in his crate, he is an angel. He'll do his circle, and plop right down ready to fall asleep. When he's awake it can be a different story, he'll whine and bark for a few minutes but eventually give up and lie down. He'll continue to whine a bit. What I find odd is he won't go for any of his toys during this time (I've sat and kept an eye on him without actually making eye contact with him) and just ignores his favorite toys.

I finally had time to run to the store and grab some peanut butter so I got a small kong in the freezer with kibble and peanut butter in there. I'll toss that in with him later when he's wide awake and put him in his crate, see how that works out for him. 

Probably just a puppy thing, but mine tends to fall asleep quite a bit. Last night was our first puppy class and dogs were barking and everything. Maverick looked around, barked a few times and ended up falling asleep in class, just like his owner LOL! Youngest puppy there and he's already ahead of the curve with the basic tricks I taught him 

Thanks for sharing your story too, Flora. Think I'm just as worried as you were a couple years back, but I can tell already he does fairly well in his crate. Sleeps like an angel for 5.5-6hrs a night without a peep, but of course the daytime wide awake Maverick needs to work on it. I always try to get him a bit of exercise (5-10min of play) before I put him in the crate during the day


----------



## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I bet he just needed to pee when your mom left and no-one took him out in time! lol
That whining at the door could easily have been "hey, I need to potty!"


----------



## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

mylissyk said:


> I bet he just needed to pee when your mom left and no-one took him out in time! lol
> That whining at the door could easily have been "hey, I need to potty!"


Good point...learning process for both of us. 

I know for a fact he doesn't like seeing people leave out the front door. He whined when my friends left after seeing him. I think he just uses them as an excuse to go outside cause he stopped whining as soon as I went for the leash.


----------

