# Separation anxiety



## My three boys (Jul 31, 2011)

My baby Cubby is having such a hard time with separation anxiety we lost his brother Bear to cancer in July and ever since he has had a hard time with me leaving him. He is ok when daddy leaves but if I do he flips out he _s running around the whole house jumping up on the doors_ trying to get to me. I give him Naturvet calming aid every day because of this. If we both leave he barks all the time and is jumping on the doors trying to get out. He works himself up so much I am afraid that he might hurt himself. We are suppose to go to a family reunion on Sat. which is three hours away_ have asked if I could bring my babies but have _not gotten an answer if I can't I am not going to go. I am a stay at home mom so am with him most of the day but have to leave him sometimes and it breaks my heart I have left him with treats with frozen peanut butter and frozen yougurt but he won't even tough them have tried giving him favorite treats before and after I go nothing is working my vet says that I might have to put him on meds but would like to try everything else before having to do that to him HELP:bowl:


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Have you worked on desensitizing him to your absence? You need to work in baby steps - literally. Pretend you're leaving. Pick up your keys, put on your coat, and step outside. Maybe remain outside for only a few seconds before coming back inside. Do NOT acknowledge him before you leave or right after you come back. That's really important. The more you acknowledge his behavior the more you're reinforcing it.

I would continually do these mini tests with him, leaving only for a short while - maybe just long enough to walk to the end of your driveway and back. Get him used to the idea of you leaving. Then add time to the duration of your absence. A minute, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc.

This may or may not help. If he's as bad as you say he may need the help of medication to alleviate his symptoms. I know some people on this forum have dogs with SA so I'm sure they'll have better suggestions than me.  Good luck!


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## rj.hokie (May 23, 2011)

This sounds just like my golden, Jersey. I work from home and she follow's me everywhere. She doesn't care when my husband leaves the house, but when I leave she would bark, get destructive, jump on everything, not touch her treats, etc. Our vets also wanted to put her on meds, but I wanted to try everything else first.

Our first step was to stop letting her follow me around everywhere in the house. If I went to shower, she used to follow me right into the bathroom. So I would close the door immediately and not let her in. I would also go into another part of the house and block myself, so she would have to be in the room with my husband and daughter. I was still giving her tons of love, but trying to gently start seperating ourselves a bit so she could realize that I don't always need to be with her.

Also, we do the treats, kongs, peanut butter, etc when we leave and we also started at very small increments.. leaving her for 15 minutes, 30 minutes and she can now be alone for up to 3 hours. This process took 6 months and it was very challenging, but she got through it. I wish you the best of luck! Maybe she just needs a bit more time to mourn the loss of Bear and will come around in a few months. Good luck!


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## My three boys (Jul 31, 2011)

I have tried to to that the last month and a half and I still can't even leave for 1 min with out him flipping out. I know they say not to come back till they stop barking but_ would never be _able to come back because he doesn't stop. I've tried to leave for a few seconds and to build up from there with no avail. He used to be bad about this before and I got him out of it but since his brother died in July It is so much worse then the last time. It's like he just can't believe I will come back seeing how his brother never did. I hurt so bad I even got him a puppy who is his half brother and we have a year old golden also so he has company he just wants me.


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## Zazoo (Jul 1, 2011)

Sorry for your loss. My 3 month old (Zane) is the same. I use to have his crate in my bedroom, and as soon I would leave the room the barking and crying starts. He doesn't do this when my hubby leaves the rm, just me. Yesterday we took his crate down to the kitchen, with Madison, and he's doing better besides at 4 am this morning when he was screaming in his crate like someone was beating him. (my poor neighbor that lives on the back of our house in the apt. his bedroom is right beside my kitchen) I'll have to apologize to him after he gets home, he's a cat person.
I ended up bringing Zane up to bed with me till 6,then took him back down stairs so I could get a hour sleep, before having to wake up my boys for school. 

I am hoping Zane will get over this, and I hope you can find a solution as well. :crossfing


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

My three boys said:


> I have tried to to that the last month and a half and I still can't even leave for 1 min with out him flipping out. I know they say not to come back till they stop barking but_ would never be _able to come back because he doesn't stop. I've tried to leave for a few seconds and to build up from there with no avail. He used to be bad about this before and I got him out of it but since his brother died in July It is so much worse then the last time. It's like he just can't believe I will come back seeing how his brother never did. I hurt so bad I even got him a puppy who is his half brother and we have a year old golden also so he has company he just wants me.


When I first got my puppy she had **** fits in her crate (literally) when I would leave her there. She screamed bloody murder and would poop everywhere because she was so nervous.

I spent a lot of time desensitizing her to the idea of being alone in her crate.

Since he gets so upset with you simply leaving for a few seconds, you can't even take it that far. You can't go beyond his threshold of comfort. Can you try maybe walking through a door, closing it, and then immediately opening it? The behaviorist we saw about Flora's problems suggested we do something like that with her over and over again. Walk through the door, close it, open it and return to my dog, but completely ignore her. Maybe after you repeat that for a week or so with him you can gradually move into staying behind the closed door for a few seconds before opening it.


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## My three boys (Jul 31, 2011)

Sorry I haven't answered in a couple of days but have been sick and haven't been on but thanks for all the help I am trying just leaving him on the other side of the door for a little while and will try to work up from there. Thank you all for your help


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## crazy daisy (Jul 3, 2011)

time to crate train again.... though my Daisy's separation anxiety can lead to diarrhea

of course take her for a walk also.... tired dog is always a good thing


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## Looni2ns (Mar 26, 2010)

I agree w/crate training your wild child.

Gracie had problems w/separation anxiety. Scratched doors trying to get out, or in; chewed my patio furniture because she couldn't get in the house, or barked until she was hoarse. But, if I put her in the crate, she would settle down and be fine. Seems she understood that if she was in the crate, I would come back and let her out. She was safe, and so was everything else.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Be careful, though. If the crate makes her anxious you are doing her no good putting her inside of it. The crate can be a wonderful tool when used properly and in the right situations.


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## My three boys (Jul 31, 2011)

Cubby hates a crate. He won't even go all the way in. So that is not a possibility. Been working with him a little at a time but still jumps up even if i move in my chair because he doesn't want me to go. It's starting to get cooler here so I can take him with me shopping and stuff more. Can actually go to bathroom by myself without him pushing the door open soI guess thats progress. I just love him so much and feel the pain he is going through with the loss of his brother because I feel it to. I don't want to push him to much as not to hurt him so I guess I'll have a shadow for a while could be worst he could hate me for not bringing his brother back to him. Thankyou all so much for all your Ideas this forumand it's readers are the best


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