# This is so hard.



## southfoke (Jun 10, 2016)

A week ago, I had a seemingly healthy dog, and now she is wrapped in a blanket under a mound of dirt in my backyard with a single gardenia placed lovingly atop the mound. I cry every morning and every night. This is just not fair. I have lost people in my life and while that was difficult, this is harder. I feel almost guilty for admitting it. But, this beautiful ball of fur brought more to my life than most of the people in it. I guess it's to be expected. The suddenness of it all brings so much pain to my heart. There was so much I wanted to do...I had just bought shampoo for a bath the next day that has to be returned to the store. The boys wanted to take her kayaking. I was going to pay more attention to her since I knew at 10, her time was limited. I vowed to brush her teeth more often even though she hated it, and I hated it more. I wanted to walk to the lake and let her swim. It's too late for all of that, and I am just so incredibly sad. Everybody tells me to get another dog but this dog was my soul. I don't think I could ever have another nor love another as much as her. I admit, I always thought you "dog" people were a little off the wall, but I get it now. I really get it. I have had dogs in the past but this dog was so different. As I have seen another on here quote, this was my dog of a lifetime. She was perfection defined. I still see her last tail wag as she laid on the porch barely able to move, how she sprung up and stood upright once we got to the vet and then fell over, and the look in her eyes and they wheeled her in to say goodbye. Her sweet little face sat gently on her paws, and her eyes met mine. She didn't smile her usual smile, and that I will never forget. My heart sinks every time I see it in my head. I would give anything to have her back. Anything.


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## G-bear (Oct 6, 2015)

I am so sorry for your loss. Many of us on this board have lost the dogs we call our heart dogs because of the special place that they have held, and continue to hold, in our hearts. I lost my heart dog just over a year ago. Please know that your girl has not left you because she will always be with you in your heart. Know also that these special dogs of ours would not want us to cry. How could they when their whole life was dedicated to making us happy? Don't think of the coulda, should and woulda. Think instead of the many good times you shared with your girl and let that be your comfort. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs.


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## wportkid (May 18, 2016)

I'm so sorry to hear this. Your loss is shared by many many Golden owners so you are not alone. I lost my perfect Golden Molly a month ago..taken by cancer at age 7. I can definitely relate to your heartbreak being worse than some human losses. There is no one answer to what you are going through, but I have decided to adopt another Golden puppy...I'm on the list to bring one home this fall from a top breeder who I've adopted from before. My only consolation is that Molly was with me virtually 24/7 for her entire life and was always a very happy girl. We all handle these terrible losses differently, so just do what you think is best and try to be patient. Again...I'm so sorry.


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

I'm sorry - it's very tough to lose them suddenly like that. My sympathies.


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## Prism Goldens (May 27, 2011)

I'm sorry. There's nothing to say besides that-


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## Krissi2197 (Apr 23, 2016)

This post made me tear up. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Loisiana (Jul 29, 2009)

I know how you feel. I lost my heart and soul five weeks ago. He was only 2 1/2 years old. I've cried almost every day since then. It's not something I'll ever get over, rather I will learn to move on. But my life will forever be changed.


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## 4goldengirls (Jun 10, 2014)

I'm so sorry - my deepest condolences.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Southfoke*



southfoke said:


> A week ago, I had a seemingly healthy dog, and now she is wrapped in a blanket under a mound of dirt in my backyard with a single gardenia placed lovingly atop the mound. I cry every morning and every night. This is just not fair. I have lost people in my life and while that was difficult, this is harder. I feel almost guilty for admitting it. But, this beautiful ball of fur brought more to my life than most of the people in it. I guess it's to be expected. The suddenness of it all brings so much pain to my heart. There was so much I wanted to do...I had just bought shampoo for a bath the next day that has to be returned to the store. The boys wanted to take her kayaking. I was going to pay more attention to her since I knew at 10, her time was limited. I vowed to brush her teeth more often even though she hated it, and I hated it more. I wanted to walk to the lake and let her swim. It's too late for all of that, and I am just so incredibly sad. Everybody tells me to get another dog but this dog was my soul. I don't think I could ever have another nor love another as much as her. I admit, I always thought you "dog" people were a little off the wall, but I get it now. I really get it. I have had dogs in the past but this dog was so different. As I have seen another on here quote, this was my dog of a lifetime. She was perfection defined. I still see her last tail wag as she laid on the porch barely able to move, how she sprung up and stood upright once we got to the vet and then fell over, and the look in her eyes and they wheeled her in to say goodbye. Her sweet little face sat gently on her paws, and her eyes met mine. She didn't smile her usual smile, and that I will never forget. My heart sinks every time I see it in my head. I would give anything to have her back. Anything.


My heart goes out to you and IT IS so painful losing them. Perhaps you will never love another as much as her, but I am sure you'd grow to love another dog. They all enrich our lives, and for me, I can't imagine my life without a dog to love me, and for me to love back. We never ever have enough time with them, or are able to do everything we'd like to. I am sure she knew she was loved, and that is the important thing!!


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

Southfoke, I'm so sorry your lost your girl. What's her name? I've lost 4 goldens over many years and it's not easy when you know they are on borrowed time and it's not easy when they just drop down in front of you. It's hard if they are 6 and hard if they are 11. And try not to could have, should have, would have. Instead focus on all the good times and let those memories help you through. I completely agree with you that losing a dog can in many ways be more difficult than losing a person because it's a different kind of loss and so many people don't understand what you are feeling and it can hold you back from truly grieving. I also agree that sometimes we have been lucky enough to have a dog we bonded with in a special way and call them our heart dog. Post some pictures if you can and tell us more about her, sometimes that helps. Take care.


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## Amystelter (Jul 31, 2013)

I lost my buddy a year and a half ago and I try to avoid most of the threads where I know a dog has been lost because they always make me cry and miss my buddy all over again. I loved him so, and I was closer to him than anyone else in my life. The only comfort I can offer is with the rest of the forum in that you are not alone. There are some very beautiful sentiments here, please find comfort in them - 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious girl. 
It is so incredibly hard, they are so very special and bring so much to our lives. 

I know how much this hurts, I'm sorry you're going through this. Give yourself the time you need to grieve, it's a long journey to find peace and for your heart to heal.


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## Figtoria (Apr 19, 2016)

I'm so sorry for your loss.  

I'm sure you've heard this before, but it will get easier. 

Take care of yourself and let yourself heal. 

Best wishes to you...


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## JAB (Apr 15, 2016)

I'm typing this with tears in my eyes. I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose such a special companion... I hope you find healing remembering all the wonderful times you were able to share.


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## Hootie821 (Apr 15, 2016)

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Golden. I lost my Golden to cancer on Monday so I am grieving sadly with so many other people on this forum. 

I know people always say "one day at a time"....well if you are anything like me, sometimes it is one MINUTE at a time. I feel like I will never be the same again but in all honesty, I hope I will be a better person because of having Sadie in my life. 

I hope you are forever changed too because of your sweet Golden. They have a way of weaving themselves into the fabric of your heart. Hugs and peace to you in your time of grieving....


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## Kalhayd (May 4, 2016)

I am just so sorry. Sending love and prayers.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So sorry for the loss of your special girl - there are no words that will help, but hope you know that many of us have been in your position over the years and so can understand your hurt and pain.

Take care x


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