# from Jakesmom512 - trying to cope



## SoGolden (Jul 17, 2008)

"Dear SoGolden and everyone, I had to put my 11 yr old golden to sleep this last week. He was my emotional therapy dog. How do you cope with the guilt for putting your best friend to sleep?"

I received this from Jakesmom512 who is new to the Forum. I have no experience in this area.... Someone please PM Jakesmom512 to offer support. I'm not sure he/she knows how to find this post on the Forum.... Thank you for caring and sharing.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I think you have to have 15 posts to able to access PMs. Is this right???
Jake's Mom, the hardest part about being a furbaby parent is that last, loving gift we give them when they are too infirmed to lead a quality life. There is a point where keeping them here is a selfish act on our part.... their bodys are spent and their soul is ready to move on. Please know that many of us have had to make that heart wrenching decision. It is the ULTIMATE act of love and I believe our babies know that. Please talk to us here.... we have many shoulders to cry on and ears to listen. You sweet fur baby is waiting at the bridge where you will be together again one day. Hugs to you.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

> *May I Go Now? *
> 
> 
> 
> ...


A tear jerker, but also a healer. I think it's what all of our bridge babies would say to us at that time.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Oh, this is such a difficult thing...

Jake'sMom512 - PLEASE do not feel guilty, it is the greatest gift of love that we give when we release our beloved pets when they suffer the pain and indignity of incurable illness or are no longer capable of enjoying life to the fullest. The guilt is felt when we know that we should, but our own selfish desire to have them with us always keeps us from doing what is truly right. 

God bless you, I think we all know to well how you are feeling. Jake knows how much you loved him and would never want you to feel guilt for having his best interest come before your wanting him by your side.


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## TheHooch (May 9, 2007)

While it is a decision that is very hard to do it is alot harder on us and we are alot harder on ourselves because of it. Never queston the love you had for your pupper and know that you did the right thing for him.


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## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

Jakesmom512 - - The greatest love any can show is being there and letting them get rid of pain. There should be no guilt because he is once again healthy, happy, surrounded by love and others. Believe in Rainbow Bridge~All of us here do.










Thank You to Adopt A Golden of Atlanta for posting this www.adoptagoldenatlanta.com


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I know how very hard it is, having said Goodbye three times as an adult and once to my childhood dog at age 18. I held them all, crying in their fur as I am right now. I know I'll see them again someday just as I'll see my mom and my daughter.

They understand as God does. I wish someone could do the same for me if I ever was in the same position. Bless you in the journey of your grief. May you find Peace.


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## Jakesmom512 (Aug 27, 2008)

Thank you all for the sympathy and encouragement. I am new here; however, now that my golden boy is gone, I suddenly feel odd to have joined. It's just that I figured that someone here has probably been through this. Coping is my problem. Jake was my emotional therapy dog. I rescued him from an abusive situation when he was a year and six months old. I promised to be his momma. When he came to live with me, my black lab taught Jake how to run, hunt, swim in the pond and all the other things country dogs do. Maybe that's why I feel so guilty because I had saved him from an awful situation and had offered him safety, security and happiness only to have him put to sleep 9 years later. After reading more from this forum, it was the right thing to have done for him; however, emotionally I am numb and feel that I have lost my dearest friend.


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## SoGolden (Jul 17, 2008)

Jakesmom512 said:


> Thank you all for the sympathy and encouragement. I am new here; however, now that my golden boy is gone, I suddenly feel odd to have joined. It's just that I figured that someone here has probably been through this. Coping is my problem. Jake was my emotional therapy dog. I rescued him from an abusive situation when he was a year and six months old. I promised to be his momma. When he came to live with me, my black lab taught Jake how to run, hunt, swim in the pond and all the other things country dogs do. Maybe that's why I feel so guilty because I had saved him from an awful situation and had offered him safety, security and happiness only to have him put to sleep 9 years later. After reading more from this forum, it was the right thing to have done for him; however, emotionally I am numb and feel that I have lost my dearest friend.


It must have been a wonderful nine years; both for you and for Jake. He blessed your life and you blessed his. Can there ever be more than that....


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I am so sorry, I know how hard it is! You started and completed his wonderful life, now you must heal, knowing what a great life you gave him. Stay, we will support you through this awful time.


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## Jakesmom512 (Aug 27, 2008)

Thank you so much


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## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

Jakesmom512 said:


> Thank you all for the sympathy and encouragement. I am new here; however, now that my golden boy is gone, I suddenly feel odd to have joined. It's just that I figured that someone here has probably been through this. Coping is my problem. Jake was my emotional therapy dog. I rescued him from an abusive situation when he was a year and six months old. I promised to be his momma. When he came to live with me, my black lab taught Jake how to run, hunt, swim in the pond and all the other things country dogs do. Maybe that's why I feel so guilty because I had saved him from an awful situation and had offered him safety, security and happiness only to have him put to sleep 9 years later. After reading more from this forum, it was the right thing to have done for him; however, emotionally I am numb and feel that I have lost my dearest friend.


 
They were the most remarkable 9 years Jake could have ever had. He cherished each moment just as you did. He sits on your shoulder and watches out over you daily~and will be the first one to welcome you at the Bridge when it's time to be reunited.


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I felt the same way when it was Sam's time. Always knowing that day must come is hard enough, then going through it, is heart breaking. Doing the right thing is never easy, but when it's letting go of a beloved friend, it's **** hard. Your head knows you did the right thing even if your heart can't right now. I buried myself in everything Sam...I watched home movies, looked through my pics, & wrote, wrote, wrote. I hadn't found the forum yet...I wish I had. This is where you need to be, with those who know exactly what you're going through and understand. Take Care. It get's easier. Talking helps too.


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## marshab1 (Aug 28, 2006)

Jakesmom512 said:


> Thank you all for the sympathy and encouragement. I am new here; however, now that my golden boy is gone, I suddenly feel odd to have joined. It's just that I figured that someone here has probably been through this.


I am so sorry for your loss. Do not feel odd for having joined now. Many of our members have joined becasue they were lookign for help on making the decision you just had to make. Many others have joined just after as you have. No one else can understand how you feel except for someone that has gone thru it. Most of our members have.

Feel free to share stories and pictures. You'll find lots of interested, sympathetic people. As you read you may even heal as you find that your 9 wonderful years has given you a wealth information to share with others.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Jakesmom512 said:


> Thank you all for the sympathy and encouragement. I am new here; however, now that my golden boy is gone, I suddenly feel odd to have joined. It's just that I figured that someone here has probably been through this. Coping is my problem. Jake was my emotional therapy dog. I rescued him from an abusive situation when he was a year and six months old. I promised to be his momma. When he came to live with me, my black lab taught Jake how to run, hunt, swim in the pond and all the other things country dogs do. Maybe that's why I feel so guilty because I had saved him from an awful situation and had offered him safety, security and happiness only to have him put to sleep 9 years later. After reading more from this forum, it was the right thing to have done for him; however, emotionally I am numb and feel that I have lost my dearest friend.


 
You gave Jake everything you promised and more. You were his Momma and always will be. Mom's make the hard decisions for their kiddos welfare no matter how much it hurts them personally.... you did even this. Bless you for giving him the life every pupper longs for and deserves. Please stay with us...... feel free to share your stories and pictures or just vent and cry. Everyone grieves differently and we will be here to help you along your journey. As impossible as it seems now, eventually the happy memories will be first and foremost in your mind and the love affair you shared will provide you with comfort and peace. I think that's what Jake would want for you. Many hugs and prayers.


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## GoldenDaisy (Jul 16, 2007)

So sorry for your loss of Jake. You gave him a wonderful long life. I know exactly what you are going through. I also joined this forum after the loss of my first golden. Please don't feel guilty, I know it's hard, We love our furbabies so much it is so hard to let them go, but we have to do it for them. I felt the same as you do when we had to send our 3 1/2 year old golden Daisy to the bridge last year because of cancer. It was the toughest decision we ever had to make, we needed to let her go so she would not suffer anymore. A good friend of mine said to me that we have to endure the pain so that they can be free of their pain. I believe someday we will see each other again. Take care and try to remember your happy times together and the pain will lesson as time goes on, he will always be in your heart. We are here for you.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss of Jake. It is always so hard. We are given a huge responsiblity at the end, but we have to do what is best for our pups. He had the best 9 years he could have ever had, thanks to you.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

The numbness is so very normal. 

Jake's life, for all intents and purposes, started when you rescued him. You promised to be his Momma, and you more than kept that promise. He knows that and the piece of your heart that he took with him has left a hole which, in time, will be filled with the love of, and for, another lucky dog who you will promise yourself to.

Please stay here with us. We embrace you and your broken heart.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place because we all understand the pain you are going through. Here you can share your memories of Jake. I know that he watches over you.

I Only Wanted You

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

Author unknown


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

When my Max died, I felt like you described. He was my soul boy. He was there for me through good and bad times. His brown eyes looking right into my heart. I made a collage of alot of his pictures. We bought a beautiful walnut box on a stand for his ashes and had a goldplate made with his name and dates. My daughters gave me a framed 8x10 picture of him engraved Max, We Will Always Love You. It sits on his box, next to our bed. I also have his collar and leash along with our other goldens who have gone to The Bridge hanging in our room. I wore his dog tags on a chain around my neck for a long time. 
I have Selka 9 and Gunner 5 now whom I love very much but there was only one Max.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Jakesmom512 said:


> Thank you all for the sympathy and encouragement. I am new here; however, now that my golden boy is gone, I suddenly feel odd to have joined. It's just that I figured that someone here has probably been through this. Coping is my problem. Jake was my emotional therapy dog. I rescued him from an abusive situation when he was a year and six months old. I promised to be his momma. When he came to live with me, my black lab taught Jake how to run, hunt, swim in the pond and all the other things country dogs do. Maybe that's why I feel so guilty because I had saved him from an awful situation and had offered him safety, security and happiness only to have him put to sleep 9 years later. After reading more from this forum, it was the right thing to have done for him; however, emotionally I am numb and feel that I have lost my dearest friend.


Please stay, I'm so sorry for you're loss. You had him for 9 wonderful years, you done the right thing.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

Debles said:


> When my Max died, I felt like you described. He was my soul boy. He was there for me through good and bad times. His brown eyes looking right into my heart. I made a collage of alot of his pictures. We bought a beautiful walnut box on a stand for his ashes and had a goldplate made with his name and dates. My daughters gave me a framed 8x10 picture of him engraved Max, We Will Always Love You. It sits on his box, next to our bed. I also have his collar and leash along with our other goldens who have gone to The Bridge hanging in our room. I wore his dog tags on a chain around my neck for a long time.
> I have Selka 9 and Gunner 5 now whom I love very much but there was only one Max.


I have done the same for Spice and Peanut, made a collage, got their collars and their ashes on the TV and both of them have a Angel on their ashes.
It was hard at first, specially Peanut and I still cry writing this, but it gets better I look at the collages and it makes me smile to see them happy why I had them.


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## Celeigh (Nov 29, 2007)

I hope you stay. We'd love to hear more about Jake and see pictures when you are up to it.

This is a group the understands the love and the loss of goldens. You have much to offer us in terms of your time with Jake and we in turn can comfort you in your loss.

Heck, as I was falling asleep last night I suddenly started to cry at the thought of how painful losing my Fergus will be and he's only 11 months. Who else would understand that kind of love for a golden? Certainly not a non-dog lover!

So please stay!


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## amazonb (Feb 23, 2008)

I understand and I am so sorry. I would love to hear more about why he was so incredibly special. I too made the same decision almost 3 months ago and it was in all of my 40 years, the hardest decision I ever made.
Please share with us your feelings, you are definitely among friends....friends who truly understand.


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## T&T (Feb 28, 2008)




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## Solas Goldens (Nov 10, 2007)

Hi... I'm sorry to hear of your loss.It is always hard to make the decision to let a loved on go... even when it is the best thing to do. Our thoughts are with you.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

You Did Just What Your Promiseed. You Took Are Of Him. You Didn't Keep Him Letting Him Suffer, But You Released Him. What More Could A Dog Ask For--a Life Of Love And Friendship,l Much Attention, Total Care, And Then Be Allowed To B Erelased Whe Liviing Is No Longer Good. Many Of Us Have Had To Make That Decision, Som Of Us More Than Once. It Is Always Hard, But It Is Right. Bless You Andyour Wonderful Boy.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss of Jake. You gave him a beautiful and love filled life and know that you also gave him the greatest gift when you let him go to release him from his pain. Most of us have been where you are at and know the pain you are going thru and I found talking with others helped me to heal just alittle. Know that he is always going to be with you in your heart and your memories and one day you will see each other again at the bridge. 
One day when you feel that the time is right for another dog, Jake will help the new dog to become the great dog he was. I hope you will not shut yourself off from getting another dog because it sounds like you have alot of love to share and Jake would want you to be happy. 
(((((((HUGS))))))


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## jlturk (Aug 5, 2008)

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. I understand and feel the same pain you are experiencing right now. On Thursday of last week, we made a very hard decision to put our golden down. For me, it was the hardest decision I had ever had to make. I would have given anything to save her but at the end, all I can give was my heart and to let her go peacefully. You've given Jake a wonderful life and he was very blessed to have found someone like you.....and likewise, you were blessed to have a golden companion that loved you too.


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## ScoobyDoo (May 7, 2008)

Sorry for your loss. One of the hardest decisions of my life was to say goodbye to my Scooby. Hope this helps. Rest in Peace sweet pup.

A ship sails and I stand watching until she fades on the horizon and someone says, "She is Gone."
Gone where? From my sight is all.
She is just as grand as when I last saw her.
And at that moment when she is gone there are others watching her coming.
And their voices shout, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying.


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## Fozzybear (Feb 27, 2008)

Jakes Mom,

You are definitetly not alone. I also joined this Forum during the illness of our Bailey age 8. That was back in February of this year and three weeks later we were helping him over the bridge. It was the most difficult decision I have made to date and I too felt guilty at first. Talking with People on this Forum was a godsend. These are all really great caring individuals that can help you thru the tough times and help you remember the good times, some of which you may of forgotten but will remember while reading thru posts or reminiscing about Jake on this Forum. He will never be forgotten. Good Speed Jake.


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## Thor's Mom (Feb 25, 2007)

So sorry for your loss. Godspeed sweet Jake.


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## Bob-N-Tash (Feb 24, 2008)

*Too all of us that have loved and lost....*

I think that you joined the forum at just the right time. Many of us have had a similar experience. And although the pain of the loss eases with time it never really goes away. When you least expect it something will trigger the rush of emotions once again. In sharing your loss the memories our loss bubble to the surface once again, and here I sit with tears in my eyes. The forum is a good place to share your stories and memories of Jake.. a tribute to him at his finest. And along the way you may discover that by sharing your experience you have helped someone else.


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## Thor0918 (Feb 28, 2008)

Having to say goodbye to my stepfather on Labor Day I now wish I could do for my family what I am able to do for my beloved pets. It's so much more humane! A tear for you has been shed.


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## blacktri99 (Sep 5, 2008)

Jakes Mom, Saying I know how you feel and what you are going through is tough for anyone because we all handle things differently, I too had to put my best friend down recently, Ranger was my Aussie who was a special needs dog, you see he had major people agression, and sezuires (granMal) that would incompacitate him for hours, I had made a promise to him to care for him and protect him, even though at times it was tough because he could not be around people anymore. after 4 years the sezuires took it's toll on him, and with the people agression it was decided (Vet & Family) to put Ranger down, It was by far the hardest thing I ever have done, and even as a strong man of 45 and having had to put down dogs before this one tore me up inside, and tears flowed. Ranger had seen me through some tough times following my divorce and I was heartbroken. After a couple of month I still miss my buddy, but I know I did the right thing and his final breathes were with me, and I was finally able to give him peace. I know I will see him again.

It will get better over time, you will miss him but your pain will get better

Jim


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## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

Play Hard Sweet Jake~Godspeed


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