# The dreaded “is it time” question



## VanIslGoldens (6 mo ago)

I am a long time follower of this forum and a first time poster. I have a 12 year old golden Auggie and 10 month old Sully. Last year we put down our 13 year old Brinkley. He was our first golden we ever had to put down and as heartbreaking as it was to lose him...I had a lot of peace about it. At 11 he had a freak accident at the vets under anesthesia for a routine tooth extraction and he got two strictures in his esophagus, he spent two weeks with a specialist out of town getting them ballooned and they never healed, but I was able to keep him two years on a liquid diet. He finally couldn’t eat anything and we knew it was time.

I feel we may be here again with Auggie, but I’m really struggling with the decision this time. He has stage 4 arthritis that started when he was 6, we’ve given him supplements and exercised him and has
managed well. Last year we started medicating him for pain and he remained active and well and played with our puppy. But the last month he has really deteriorated. He no longer can come on walks as he can barely get down the street and he simply lies around the house barely moving and whining to get his needs met (when he needs us to help him go outside to pee, is hungry, or wants attention). It’s very hard for him to get up. He still loves to eat!!
Last night we took him to the beach to let him go in the water which he loves, but he just wandered in the water confused...his hearing and eye sight are weak and he would follow any human near him....it was clear his mind is going. He came out of the water and tried to go to the bathroom and collapsed.
So now it’s walks and Going to the beach are off our list with him. The last two things he loves (eating and cuddling) are the only things left for him.
I’ve read that most people wait until they don’t eat and can’t go to the bathroom before they put them down. But the whining throughout the day makes me think we are keeping him around for us. Our vet said some put their dog down as soon as a limp is seen and some until they can no longer move at all. He said we are in the middle of that spectrum.
Anyone been through this? Thoughts on the whining?
Your golden advice is appreciated.
Kim


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## Aly2015 (Jan 26, 2021)

VanIslGoldens said:


> I am a long time follower of this forum and a first time poster. I have a 12 year old golden Auggie and 10 month old Sully. Last year we put down our 13 year old Brinkley. He was our first golden we ever had to put down and as heartbreaking as it was to lose him...I had a lot of peace about it. At 11 he had a freak accident at the vets under anesthesia for a routine tooth extraction and he got two strictures in his esophagus, he spent two weeks with a specialist out of town getting them ballooned and they never healed, but I was able to keep him two years on a liquid diet. He finally couldn’t eat anything and we knew it was time.
> 
> I feel we may be here again with Auggie, but I’m really struggling with the decision this time. He has stage 4 arthritis that started when he was 6, we’ve given him supplements and exercised him and has
> managed well. Last year we started medicating him for pain and he remained active and well and played with our puppy. But the last month he has really deteriorated. He no longer can come on walks as he can barely get down the street and he simply lies around the house barely moving and whining to get his needs met (when he needs us to help him go outside to pee, is hungry, or wants attention). It’s very hard for him to get up. He still loves to eat!!
> ...



I’m so sorry. Our goldens bring us such joy, but then such heartbreak when it’s time to let them go. I’m glad you had peace with your last golden. Even though it’s still terrible to lose them, knowing you did right by them can help with healing.
I think different people decide on the right time in different ways, so I’m sure you will see a variety of opinions here. And at the end of the day, you will have to be the one to make that decision on when, and I hope you remember that these moments are such a small part of a long and joyful life that your boy has had with you.
I lean towards saying goodbye sooner rather than later… I don’t think dogs share the same fear we do of death, and with their amazing capacity to live in the moment, I struggle to see them suffering and in pain that likely won’t improve. I made the decision to let my last golden go when his hind end wasn’t working properly anymore. I really don’t think he was in much pain, he still had an appetite and loved getting attention, but I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t himself. He couldn’t do what he used to love doing, like going for a walk or run around our property, or swimming in our pond, and I knew it was time for me to let him go. I didn’t want to wait until he was in pain, or until he couldn’t eat, or didn’t notice when I pet him. I found it to be quite a gift that I could give him, to end it before he truly suffered. I heard once that it is better to let them go a week too early than a day too late. That advice has stuck with me. 
I know some people pick 5 of their dog’s favorite activities and once they lose the ability to do 3 of those 5 things then it is time to say goodbye. 
Sometimes dogs rally, and they improve when we think they are nearing the end. I think that makes it complicated and hard to know…. But I don’t regret my choice with my last golden. He had 11 amazing years with me and I know a few more weeks or a month of life wouldn’t have been worth it for me if it meant he would have struggled. 
Again, I’m so sorry you are having to make this decision. Sometimes I feel they let us know when they are ready to go… I hope your boy will show you when it is time. Wishing you the best and lots of comfort


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## FurdogDad (Mar 30, 2021)

I'm sorry that you are facing this tough decision. My wife and I have lost 3 over the years and it's always been a bit more sudden for us. I think you have to consider Auggie's quality of life. If he's in pain and has lost his mobility then he's probably not the happy boy you want him to be. There's a thread here on the forum titled End of Life bucket list that has a lot of perspectives on various members' thought process in dealing with this situation. Many folks on here would say a week too soon is better than a day too late because we don't want them to suffer needlessly. I can only suggest that you try to choose with your head and not your heart because the heart will never want to let go.
Again, I'm sorry you are going through this.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

VanIslGoldens said:


> .... He no longer can come on walks as he can barely get down the street and he simply lies around the house barely moving and whining to get his needs met (when he needs us to help him go outside to pee, is hungry, or wants attention). It’s very hard for him to get up. He still loves to eat!!
> Last night we took him to the beach to let him go in the water which he loves, but he just wandered in the water confused...his hearing and eye sight are weak and he would follow any human near him...*.it was clear his mind is going*. He came out of the water and tried to go to the bathroom and collapsed.
> So now, walks and Going to the beach are off our list with him. The last two things he loves (eating and cuddling) are the only things left for him.
> .....the whining throughout the day makes me think we are keeping him around for us.....Thoughts on the whining? Your golden advice is appreciated.
> Kim


Kim, I'm sorry for your heartache. I hope you will read back through the lines I have quoted from you above and think about if this is the quality of life you would want for yourself if you were a dog. This doesn't sound like good quality anymore. I honestly think that if this were my dog, I would 100% clear my schedule and spend the next day or so in his favorite spot, snuggling and talking and petting and feeding him his favorite things, a burger, some ice cream and then I would let him go. The only time my girl whines is when she is having a bad dream or is unhappy. I hope you are able to arrive at a decision you are comfortable with but I am a believer in better a day too early than a day too late. I absolutely don't want my dog to suffer needlessly.


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## leismom (May 18, 2011)

So very sorry you're going through this with Auggie. We recently had to make the decision with our 11.5 year old Beau. In June of last year he had TPLO surgery and did awesome. We rehabbed in our neighbors pool and he was able to get around great after the surgery. In Feb of this year he started to act a little off and we thought he had maybe had a stroke. Vet cleared him, but thought it mighgt be Old Dogs Syndrome or maybe CCD. Beau continued to be mobile, eat like a horse, use the restroom on his own etc. But he started acting confused, he didn't want affection, would get tangled up on stuff around the house. It was then obvious to us he was not enjoying life anymore. It was such a HARD decision to make, but we knew we had to. I had scoured the internet for advice and did numerous quality of life evaluations. And like Aly2015, the statement that really got me was, "better a week too early, than a hour too late." Although it broke our hearts, we also felt peace... Wishing you and Auggie all the best. Take care.


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## VanIslGoldens (6 mo ago)

Thank you all for your replies. I was re-reading them all day yesterday and came on here a few times to reply, but then the tears would flow. This morning our sweet Auggie couldn’t stand up without us helping him, they kept frogging out behind him. Broke our hearts, we spent all morning cuddling him and feeding him every favourite treat he would steal from the fridge if he knew how to open the door. We then took him in this afternoon to let him go. It’s the absolute worst part of pet ownership....holding that responsibility to know when. Your words were in my heart as we said goodbye.
The timing of this was so tough as we have movers coming tomorrow and we are heading out next week to move across the country. I really didn’t want to leave him behind, but we knew that trip would be hard.
We have our sweet 10 month old Sully to give us some love. Many thanks.


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## VanIslGoldens (6 mo ago)




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