# Chance ... missing my buddy



## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

Very sorry for your loss. I did not cope well when I lost my Arby a few years ago. I found a new puppy (Oakly) really raised my spirits. Everyone is different though. Hang in there...it will get better.


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## Noey (Feb 26, 2009)

I had a hard time when my Belle passed. I cried a lot for her. Time does make it better. I did get a puppy about 6 months later...that helped even more. It's ok to cry.


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## Jazz & Jules (Feb 25, 2007)

APLB ( http://aplb.org/ ) was a very useful site for me. They have live chat nights and really know how to help assist you through this raw emotional time.

Our bonds with our beloved pets are in many ways stronger, purer, and far more intimate than with others of our own species. We feel loved and secure in sharing our secret souls with them. How often can this be safely done – even with a spouse? So when a dear pet’s life ends, it really is very understandable and normal for us to grieve and suffer a unique sense of bereavement. We have to learn how to cope with the physical breaking of the bond. But the deeply personal spiritual aspects remain unbroken and remain part of us, forever.

Our pets are the glue that hold us together. Without them, we literally feel we will fall apart. They help give us our identity, they define who and what we are. Without them, nothing is the same, and it can be a very lonely, helpless time as we struggle to come to terms with our new life without them.

That old adage about time being the healer can be very misleading. Time only dulls the sharp edge of new pain, and then gives us a better opportunity to heal ourselves of the worst of it. But some of the ache remains with us, forever. Yes, time does help with that transition. But it is not a cure; there is none for this. Happily, our beloved memories continue on with us, as they should. They are an important part of our ongoing lives and personal evolution.


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## Laurie (Sep 20, 2009)

We lost our Phoenix in March and although we have since gotten 2 new puppies and still have his buddy Reno (who is 9), I still cry when I look at his pictures or think of him. I think not being able to say good bye to him and to tell him how much we loved him is the hardest part for me. It does get easier but we still miss him terribly. However, our one puppy reminds us so much of Phoenix that he gets called that all the time....poor little guy.


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## timberwolf (Apr 1, 2009)

Take it one day at a time. That's all you can do.
It does get easier over time but it really never goes away.
It becomes a sweet memory that you can hold in your heart.
I still miss Ryder and it's been over 2 years since we sent him to the bridge.
Even now, I'm crying as I type this.
I just thank God that I had the honor of having him in my life.

Give yourself time to grieve and when the time is right, and you will know it, maybe you'll be ready to bring another golden soul into your life.
Not to replace Chance because he can never be replaced, but one that will make his own place in your heart.

Take care, my thoughts are with you.


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## Pumpkin (Oct 7, 2009)

Hi - it's so nice talking to you via e-mail sharing our grief together ( I lost my loving GR, Pumpkin last Tuesday ). I find myself crying often. At nights, I sleep with his favorite stuffed duck. I hold it tight at nights and it does help. 
Make an album book with all of Chance's pictures in it. 
Time will heal. I tell myself that every day. Hang in there, friend. I share the pain with you.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Chance*

I am so sorry about Chance-you know he will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. Take it one day at a time. It does get easier over time, but you never forget your beloved pet and you shouldn't-you'll just have sweet, beautiful memories instead.

What really helped Ken and I work through our grief, was rescuing another that needed our love.
It was the greatest tribute we could give to our Gizmo and Munchkin who had gone to the bridge.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

When I lost Gus at 6 last December, what helped me as talking about him, sharing stories about his love and individuality, sharing pride in his accomplishments, posting pictures of him here, and remembering in my sorrow that grief was really just the same thing, in a strange way, as joy.

I still feel sadness, and as J&J so eloquently put it, that doesn't really fade over time. But even in that sadness, I feel such gratitude for the life I was able to share with an amazing dog.


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## goldencontriever3 (Nov 7, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. It is ok to cry. We always got another pup fairly quick but that is what was right for us. I felt my Holly and Abby would want us to share our lives with another pup that needed a home. Only you can decide if and when the time is right. There will come a time when you can tell stories and look at pictures and laugh at the silly thing they did. Take care of yourself.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

Chance - I'm so sorry you lost your Chance. My last golden was also Chance - my second chance. I still miss all my lost loves and am (of course) crying as I type this. It is very hard when we lose them, but the joy they bring to our lives is worth the pain to me. I tend get another rescue pretty quickly since I feel it gives some meaning to one's death, but that is just my coping strategy. I actually don't cope very well at all!

Pumpkin - I am sorry for your loss too. I'm glad you and Chance are sharing your grief. It makes it easier to have a friend who understands since unfortunately not everyone does. I also hold their second favorite stuffed toy (the favorite goes with them) and cry into it's fur.

Your grief will ease and your beautiful memories will become consoling than painful, but it takes a while. Different lengths of time for everyone. I'll keep you in my thoghts and prayers during this so very difficult time.


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## HovawartMom (Aug 10, 2006)

Like you,I,just,lost my golden and yes,it's really tough!.Times well make it,easier and talking about yr dog, will helps,a lot!.Pain will fade away with time,at least,I hope so!.


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## pt83 (Sep 29, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss.. it will take a while for the pain to fade. I've just lost my dog about 3 weeks ago, and i still think about her whenever i see the spot she used to be on.. or when suddenly reminded of all the stuff we used to do together.


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## Trids (Jan 22, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss! I haven't lost a golden (yet), but I have had to have several other dogs PTS over the years. Each one broke my heart. I can only say that time helped eventually, but overall, all I could do was talk about them, remember the good times and when I was ready, adopt another. You can never replace a lost loved one, of course, but somehow, a new dog (pup or adult), is the only thing that REALLY seems to help me get through it. I seem to NEED a dog to love. I've always felt (hoped) that the one I lost led me to the new dog I needed....or who needed me. It may sound stupid, but I remember telling Max all about my late Sasha when I brought him home - _(and I swear, he listened to my stories)_!

I hope that you feel better soon. Post some of those good memories here (or not so good), and share them when you're ready....there's always someone here who can relate to your pain and grief. Sending warm thoughts to you & your family.


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## svarrone (Oct 8, 2009)

I am really sorry for your loss. Its no fun when your best friend is not around.
Just remind yourself that Chance does not want you to make yourself sick.
It is matter of time and healing process. 
Maybe getting a puppy will fill the gap, but will not replace Chance's personality. 
Hang in there.

Susan
Coco


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## mybuddy (Mar 2, 2007)

Oh Goodness...

How do you cope? Good question. I have no idea....there are so many wonderful people here who have experienced your loss and who can help you through this. I think about this all the time, how would I cope...I just dont know...but we do..we get through it.

I am so sorry for your loss...


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

Hugs to you...I coped by immersing myself in everything 'SAM'. I watched our home movies of Sam, looked through all my pics...over and over...talked incessantly about Sam and put my thoughts into a journal. I refused to remove him from my everyday going's on, being a stay at home Mom made this possible for me...I understand that not everyone has this advantage. I did NOT have the Forum though, and you do, so lean on US! Post pics, tell of us of Chance's antics, and feel free to laugh, cry, or holler if need be. We understand....

*Tug of My Heart*, linked below, is my 'memorial' of Sam. If you are so inclined, you might visit Scrapblog and make a Memorial for Chance. I promise you that you'll feel better. It's an easy site to navigate.


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## mybuddy (Mar 2, 2007)

paula bedard said:


> Hugs to you...I coped by immersing myself in everything 'SAM'. I watched our home movies of Sam, looked through all my pics...over and over...talked incessantly about Sam and put my thoughts into a journal. I refused to remove him from my everyday going's on, being a stay at home Mom made this possible for me...I understand that not everyone has this advantage. I did NOT have the Forum though, and you do, so lean on US! Post pics, tell of us of Chance's antics, and feel free to laugh, cry, or holler if need be. We understand....


This is beautiful...I am so sorry about Sam.


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## pburchins (Mar 11, 2009)

How do you cope ? I don't have the answer to that question. I can tell you that time will increase between crying. The recent bad memories will become thoughts of better times. Stay close to friends who are dog people they understand. Take the time to put together a project for Chance. I consolidated all the digital photos of my Riker and put together a digital frame with his photos and that stays behind my chair. 

Reading posts like yours is still tough even though it has been 7 months. It brings back tough memories and we all feel your pain. We got another puppy and his name is Riley. We wanted to honor Riker by naming the new puppy with a similiar name. Of course, we still call the new puppy Riker from time to time. That is ok with him. While Riley is the spitting image of Riker their personalities are different. However, there are times that Riley does something that me and Riker just did and it feels good.

Keep breathing take your time to grieve. If you have a chance please post some more photos of chance for us to enjoy.

God Bless.......


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## grrrick (Sep 10, 2009)

I'm almost 60 days into this process. We lost ours on 8/13. It does get easier. I think about her all the time and still get pretty wet eyes and a lump in my throat everytime I do. But it does get easier with time. Everybody deals with it differently. My grieving process will probably be longer than the rest of our family. I initially had the be the "strong" one for my wife and kids, which caused me to hold it in. *Remembering* Chance is a big part of the grieving. We have 6 pictures of Ruby on our mantle and her collar. I feel lucky and sad at the same time everytime I look at them. 

I also like to put my feelings in words. This forum has helped. Some things I post. Others, I write and write and end up deleting. It just helps me to put my thoughts down, even if I delete them. Making my signature is another small thing that I have done to help me through this.

Getting another dog is a great idea but everybody has their own time line. Some struggle with this if too soon. Others can't get a new dog soon enough. Personally, we will have a new puppy in 4-5 weeks. It will be 3 months since Ruby passed. I'm so excited and cannot hardly wait. He will never replace Ruby. I know that and would never expect him too. We are purposely getting a male and a lighter colored golden just to have something a little different. I've always had dogs and obviously lost dogs in my life. All of them have a special place in my heart and all were irreplaceable. I do worry about my wife and kids thinking of our new puppy as a "replacement". He's not a replacement, he's another gift that will touch our hearts.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hear of so many on this forum and it makes me sad all over again, every single time. But I think this forum helps because you will realize how great it is that Chance touched your heart, that he will live there forevery and that you will get through this. Best of luck to you. When your ready and if you feel like sharing, we would love to hear how great of a companion he was.


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## mybuddy (Mar 2, 2007)

grrrick said:


> I'm almost 60 days into this process. We lost ours on 8/13. It does get easier. I think about her all the time and still get pretty wet eyes and a lump in my throat everytime I do. But it does get easier with time. Everybody deals with it differently. My grieving process will probably be longer than the rest of our family. I initially had the be the "strong" one for my wife and kids, which caused me to hold it in. *Remembering* Chance is a big part of the grieving. We have 6 pictures of Ruby on our mantle and her collar. I feel lucky and sad at the same time everytime I look at them.
> 
> I also like to put my feelings in words. This forum has helped. Some things I post. Others, I write and write and end up deleting. It just helps me to put my thoughts down, even if I delete them. Making my signature is another small thing that I have done to help me through this.
> 
> ...


 
I am so sorry about your Ruby..she was very beautiful.

Congrats on your new addition ( soon to be ). A boy...a nice, soon to be big cuddly boy. You are right, he will never replace your Ruby but will bring something different into your life..they all do.


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

It does get a little better with time, and they will be always with you.

To this day I still miss my Bridge babies very much and still get tears in my eyes talking about them...but it's a lot easier now to talk about them.


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## Shannon_2009 (Aug 17, 2009)

Hiya i was so sorry to hear about your loss..............we lost our dog 2 wks ago & it has been awful........we miss her so much, so i know how you feel, if you ever need to chat feel free to message me.

Shannon


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

I don't know if there is a way of coping - but what i do know is that "talking" on here with people who have been through it helps, and we were also pretty quick in bringing another dog into the house - never to replace those that we have lost, but it certainly gave me a reason to get up in the mornings. We have photo's everywhere of our dogs past and present, as well as other momento's of their lives with us. The most important thing though is if you feel you need to cry, then do it and don't be embarrassed about doing to - people will understand, and if they don't then they have obviously never known the unconditional love that a golden gives.


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## MyMaggieGirl (Nov 12, 2008)

I am so sorry about your loss of Chance. I lost my Maggie in July and even though I knew the day was coming, it was just as difficult. 

I found comfort sleeping with Maggie's collar in my hand for weeks. Somehow I felt that she was with me and protecting me. Once in a while I still sleep with her collar. We also found that talking about all the silly things that Maggie did through the years helped us realize how much her life had deteriorated and justified sending her on her journey. Talk talk talk about Chance's life with you. I also took two days off work, "compassionate leave." It felt good to just sit home and cry my eyes out and get ready to face the world without my girl. Fortunately I work with a lot of dog parents who understood, including my boss. Look at photos of Chance. And by all means, stay on this Forum and communicate with all of us who share your loss. 

That hole in your heart will get a tiny bit smaller each day, I promise. You will always miss your baby because you loved Chance so much.

I don't remember who sent the following words to me, by Wendy Feireisen:

"You don't get over it, you just get through it.
You can't get by it because you can't get around it.
It doesn't get better, it just gets different.
Every day....
Grief puts aon a different face."

That helped me cope with my feelings and tears.

Hugs to you.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss. I dont think you ever get over it, but it does get easier. I had to have my sweet golden Sandy PTS Feb 2007. It still hurts, but I am ok, and I know that she is waiting for me. Just like your sweet baby is waiting for you. Hang in there.
I waited a year to get another golden. I think that is one mistake that I made. I waited to long..I should have gotten another sooner... when I got Misty I felt that things were "right" again. Misty didnt take Sandy's place, she just helped me to feel complete again. I will never be without a golden again.
Congratulations on getting another golden. I know you will start to feel better once you get him. You still will miss Chance, but you will have another cutie to love.


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## bpatters69 (Apr 25, 2009)

At the risk of sounding self-indulgent, check out the youtube video link in my signature. I watch it from time to time and I feel like Rexy is with me again. More importantly, I took the $5 dog tag I got with his name from Pet Supermarket and wear it on a chain around my neck. I hold the tag in my hand when I am feeling sad or when I want to connect with Rex in my head. Rex has not even been gone a year and I still find myself thinking about him every day. We have since brought Lexy into our lives and she has brought us a lot of joy. She is very affectionate and loves my wife and I dearly.

I think about Rexy at odd times and usually when I am on walks with Lexy. Lexy is busy doing her thing, walking, smelling, etc and I find myslef looking up into the sky. I look at the cloud shapes that look like dogs and I wonder and hope that if we do meet again that Rexy will be waiting for me.

You have probably seen the story about the child who took his dog into the Vet to be put down. According to the child, dogs don't live long because they already know the joys of life and what it means to truly love someone. Humans take longer to figure out true joy and true love so we live longer.

We got Lexy soon after we had to put Rexy down. I had a lot of guilt about the decision to get a new dog so quickly but it turned out to be a great decision. As I told my wife, our house was just too empty without the pitter-patter of Rexy's paws on the Pergo.

Don't wait. Heal but find another dog when you are ready. You cannot replace your lost but you can help another dog find a loving home.


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## msdogs1976 (Dec 21, 2007)

bpatters69 said:


> We got Lexy soon after we had to put Rexy down. I had a lot of guilt about the decision to get a new dog so quickly but it turned out to be a great decision. As I told my wife, our house was just too empty without the pitter-patter of Rexy's paws on the Pergo.
> 
> Don't wait. Heal but find another dog when you are ready. You cannot replace your lost but you can help another dog find a loving home.


Same here. You do feel guilty about getting another dog soon afterward but It does help in easing the pain. Plus if you get a rescue dog, you are doing a good deed. And a very rewarding experience.

I do think of my golden though, every day. And I hope I continue to think of her often, even though it sometimes make me sad. But I smile too.


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## KCN (Oct 14, 2009)

I'm so sorry about Chance. We lost our Girl, Champ, 4 weeks ago today. The pain is very severe. It hurts everyday, and I cry just about everyday. I know what you are going through, and I wish I could tell you it's going to get better, but it's really difficult. The forum has really helped me to read how much everyone cares about their Goldens and to know that the people here understand. I also made an Imovie of her pictures, which I watch almost every day, (in tears of course). We also go to visit our neighbor's Golden who gives us some love and cuddle time


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I hope you are coping with Chance's loss a little better.
Are you still searching for a rescue? I hope you find one soon as that will help you with your grief.

KCN - I am sorry for your loss of Champ. If you posted, I hope I responded since I understand the grief the loss of a good friend (even if four legged) brings.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

It was 53 years ago this month that I lost my first dog, my beautiful 8 month old English Setter puppy, Beauty, to distemper. I knew I would never feel such grief againm I would never get over her. 

You never actually get "over" losing the, but the ain does lighten up They stay alive in your heart always. Over the pat 53 years I have lost many much loved dogs, the last being my golden girl KayCee o May 25, 2008 at 8 yrs. 9 months to cancer. 

There will always be a certain tightness in your heart, a lump in your throat when you think about your lost dog, but the smiles at remembering good imes will soon out number the tears. I* have learned that lesson wello.


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