# What is wrong with this forum?



## Cathy's Gunner (Dec 4, 2008)

I actually just saw this and went to your site to read your two post. Looks like over 159 have read it. I'm hoping a lot of them have donated and just didn't respond. I will be sending in a donation tomorrow. Hope more will follow if they can or if they haven't already donated to one of the cancer programs....thanks for posting this important information.


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## olik (Apr 13, 2008)

i got my disappointment long time ago.But i do read dog related treads,its always a lot of important information.I am glad you care.


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## iansgran (May 29, 2010)

My wonderful boy died from cancer just this May. I am not yet able to read posts about cancer or rainbow bridge. I think there may be a few more like me too sad to read these posts.


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## OrdinaryEllen (Jun 20, 2010)

*hello*

I really don't have the answer to your question. But I can say this, I had a really terrible loss with my almost fifteen year old dog just about one year ago. I find myself skipping past really sad posts. 

I had a little doggie several years back who died of cancer. He was my heartdog. When I was told there was no hope, I drove him 90 miles each way for his chemotherapy treatments for six weeks. He lived almost a year after that.

I look for the best in people, and I understand your frustration about the few views of your post. But I also understand the "Maxed out on Sad", that can guide you to the Favorite TV show post.

I wish for the magic wand to cure most evils. It is not available !

But most people are good and the truth is the vast majority of people are both good and charitable. I understand your frustation and I hope we can place more attention on this issue. You are a caring person and I hope you can see that this forum is full of good members. None of us are perfect. :wavey:


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## Enzos_Mom (Apr 8, 2010)

I remember a post awhile ago where somebody put that they were mad that nobody commented on their post when x amount of people had viewed it. Admin wrote something about how some of those views were from random people just searching things on google. As sad as it is, I feel like a lot more people do searches on things like TV shows, the World Series, etc., than search for for information on canine cancer funding. I wish I had money to be able to donate, but right now is a really bad time for us.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I think, for myself, the word cancer, brings bad memories, heartache.


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## AlanK (Jun 28, 2008)

I wish I had an answer to why more people do not view threads like you mention. Cancer is a sad and devastating subject. We have seen so many of our beloved Golden friends and human family and friends taken by this horrible disease. 

I have donated much time and dollars to the ACS the University of North Carolina and feel I cannot do enough. I still shy away from some of the sad cancer related threads posted here and it is not that I do not care. I would guess there are a few more like myself.

I'm guilty of what you speak of.
Al


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## CarolinaCasey (Jun 1, 2007)

I just logged on for the first time today and haven't seen the threads you posted.

Maybe others, like myself donate to the Golden Retriever Foundation's cancer research. I hope so, because it is a breed that we love so much- we need to help.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

I tried a while ago to rally 
a huge forum effort to match & help Rhonda's study, and Hotel4Dogs, you were one of the only people who responded. 

I think that is bc we are very giving to individuals here as we encounter their narratives, and I hope we support cancer research in a structured way outside the forum. 

For example, all my dogs have their DNA to the Idexx/Lymphoma study, and my dog Raleigh donated his when he died from hemangiosarcoma even though that was very difficult emotionally. 

Financially, I try to donate every January. 

Cancer terrifies me. It has gotten every golden I've owned, and I can't bear the thought of Tally, Copley, and Finn being taken from me. It is a high priority to me, and I will get behind anything you want to do!


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

Hmmm...I am sorry it makes you angry. I know I for one donate to many various causes, some involving goldens, some not and I was not attracted to a thread regarding donations. I currently have a dog who has survived 2 types of cancer and now has osteosarcoma and I have done an enormous amount of research regarding various cancers so spend my time on different topics, though television programs and the world series are not one of them.
There are a lot of emotions I experience on this forum but anger over a thread not being read is certainly not one of them...


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I lost two goldens to cancer very recently. Same cancer. Only a year apart. And after we lost my Danny, other golden retriever owners started coming out of the woodwork because they either lost a golden recently to the same cancer, or they knew of goldens who were lost to the same cancer. 

And touching base with people, I'm finding out about goldens who grew up with my guys or others who were lost to the same cancer... 

So for Sam, Danny, Rosebud, Spirit, Shammy, Nuche, and the others... I've already chipped in a little to this fund.... 

I agree with Enzo's mom - you can't go by the lookups, because sometimes those aren't member views. Also, I think people might be doing a mouse hover. I did that when you put the second thread up and didn't click because I recognized the topic.


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## riddle03 (Jun 9, 2005)

For me personally I use this forum to get away from the topic of cancer. So I really don't read all of the ones with that topic. I lost my Tucker to cancer in Jan. 09. That's what I do for a living - I deal with cancer all day long - 40+ hrs. a week for the last 12years. So for me I use the forum for other reasons. Sorry you are so upset and I hope it gets better for you.


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## diana_D (Jan 27, 2008)

I avoid sad topics mostly...Even though it's been almost 3 years since I lost my first girl, I still find it difficult to read those topics. I am really sorry I cannot be of much help, so many people comforted me and I feel selfish for not being there for the ones who need comfort, but only the thought of sickness or disease still makes me cry.


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## Meggie'sMom (Dec 24, 2007)

I have given generously to cancer research throughout my adult life - more so in the past 3 years since Meggie's diagnosis. My donations go to The American Cancer Society, the V Foundation, Morris Animal Foundation Cure Canine Cancer Fund and the North Carolina State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital in Meggie's memory. So yes, I give to cancer research. I chose to honor my own sweet Meggie's life in the donations I make, that doesn't make them less or more important. It's simply my choice.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

I did view, just didn't respond. I have recently attended a fundraiser for canine cancer research right here in my neighborhood, gave there. The face of their flyer was, of course, a golden. Glad to see it being addressed here.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am sorry that I havent responded. Cancer is a very touchy subject for alot of people and I think that is why some people dont respond. I think they do look at the thread but dont say anything. Plus sometimes there is so much stress and upset in peoples lives they come to the forum for some fun and they dont look at threads like that because they dont want serious subjects. Personally if I had a million dollars half would go to giving for funding for a cure for humans and animals. I wish I could help but right now I cant give anything.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

My Selka died of osteosarcoma in Sept. I donated to The Golden Retriever Foundation's Cancer Fund and also to Colorado State Vet School's Cancer Fund in Selka's memory. I am disabled and can't afford to donate everywhere. I did read the thread but chose not to write that I can't afford to donate.


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

I too get frustrated with some of foo foo posting that goes on. My passion is rescue, and I try to use this forum to help Goldens into rescue. I stumbled on this forum when I had a rescued pup needing surgery, and wanted advice and prior outcomes. It has been a great source of knowledge and compassion for me.
But, I do understand that everyone has their own priorities, and passions. That is what makes this forum so great, everyone can come and share what they have to share with folks with similar interests.
I too lost my first dog to cancer over 20 years ago, and many of these posts bring her passing back....both remembering the wonderful companion she was, and the pain of loosing her to such a horrible monster. I only post if I think I have something worth saying. Bot I can totally relate to your frustration......


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

I did the American Cancer Society's Bark for Life a couple of months ago. I got very little response to my post asking for support. A couple of people donated, but very few even read the thread. So I know where you're coming from.


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## Claire's Friend (Feb 26, 2007)

Most of my money goes to supporting my and others rescues. I have been supporting Dr. Dodd's Rabies Challenge Fund for years, because I believe over vaccinating is causing cancer. Since losing JOY to Hemangio, I am now also supporting: Modiano Lab - Who We Are - Jaime Modiano, because they seem to be doing the most research of Hemangiosarcoma. I even have them named in my will. I think there are a lot of us doing things, it just might not be the same thing you are. Thanks for posting about the cancer research, the more people who know, the better chance we have.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

Ian'sgran said:


> My wonderful boy died from cancer just this May. I am not yet able to read posts about cancer or rainbow bridge. I think there may be a few more like me too sad to read these posts.


Or too scared. I don't think this is something to get angry about, I just think a lot of golden owners just aren't comfortable with the subject, for any number of reasons.


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## joysgirls (Oct 16, 2010)

I guess then ,no one here has heard of Luke Robinson and his 2dogs2000miles.org & his and his 2 Great Pyrennes dogs -Hudson & Murphy (who has cancer) efforts to raise awareness of canine ( and human) cancer. Worth a look even if you can't donate- he is inspiring. and yes - it is depressing to only read sad stories. Our lost goldens and others would want us to go on and be happy.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Like others have said, the point is: Don't stick your head in the sand. Your golden has a high chance of developing and dying from cancer unless we as golden lovers do something to help research. Please donate to one of the very worthy cancer research foundations. It may save YOUR dog's life.


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## janine (Aug 8, 2009)

I am also guilty of not responding to all posts that might be sad, one with the word cancer is a little scary...I did post to this one with the promise of a small donation. But I am more guilty for coming on and reading or posting (pumpkin bread) more chaty information to take my mind off my real problems. I wish I could help more, what you are doing to raise money is wonderful.


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## joysgirls (Oct 16, 2010)

@Debles- well said ! and we have to stay aware- or nothing will get done to change anything.


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## janine (Aug 8, 2009)

joysgirls said:


> I guess then ,no one here has heard of Luke Robinson and his 2dogs2000miles.org & his and his 2 Great Pyrennes dogs -Hudson & Murphy (who has cancer) efforts to raise awareness of canine ( and human) cancer. Worth a look even if you can't donate- he is inspiring. and yes - it is depressing to only read sad stories. Our lost goldens and others would want us to go on and be happy.


I did see this story on tv...it's a wonderful story and incredible what Robinson is doing.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

So we are not responsible, caring golden owners unless we donate to cancer research? 

I stopped on my way back to work from lunch today to notify one of my neighbors that their golden was loose in the neighborhood. I stopped to let the owners know and because only the children were home, I stayed until I was sure the golden was okay. I was late coming back to work, and I had deadlines to meet. But I stayed until I knew he was okay.

I didn't donate to cancer research today, but I did something for one golden retriever. Maybe I even saved his life


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

I understand your frustration. I posted last month and got much less response than you have. 

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...-canine-aiha-imha-meishas-hope-challenge.html

Even if your post reached one person and they donated...you have made a difference.

ETA: I don't think my link works, but it was regarding the Meishas Hope Fund for Canine AIHA/IMHA research.


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## BajaOklahoma (Sep 27, 2009)

Getting mad because others don't prioritize the same way you do only hurts you..... and maybe angers a few people who you've made feel guilty. You have no idea of what they are dealing with in their lives - financially, emotionally, and so on. 
I can't read the Rainbow Bridge posts because it is very hard for me. I feel guilty that I can't support other through the bad times, but I have to protect myself.

We each have causes that we believe in and support the best way we can. I respect your choice, but you can't choose for me and I can't choose for you.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Debles said:


> Like others have said, the point is: Don't stick your head in the sand. Your golden has a high chance of developing and dying from cancer unless we as golden lovers do something to help research. Please donate to one of the very worthy cancer research foundations. It may save YOUR dog's life.


I don't think that is what I said. I don't wish to get into an argument with you JoEllen, especially not on this thread.
Glad you saved a golden's life. I work with Golden Retriever Rescue also but it's not the same since 60% or more goldens die of cancer. I never want to have another dog of mine go through it.


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## KaMu (May 17, 2010)

I also read the post your speaking of. I too have donated to various causes outside the forums and to rescue, not the golden rescue as of yet but I have always donated to the Maltese rescue yearly and when I can or for a specific cause. Im fairly new to the Golden breed but will donate when I can. I am very aware of whats killing our dogs, and thats all breeds not just Goldens. At work I deal with death dying and sick people. When I am home and have time to read the forums it is usually to find the answer to a question I have about them. Or something else rather light in nature. I in all honesty cannot sit and read multiple heart breaking threads, it is just all too much for me and I am old enough to know that. Somedays I can, most I cannot. Having a pup of 6 months age I want to remain happy and hopeful and yet be prepared should we to have to cope with a cancer with our girl. And it is not that I dont care, I do. I had a very special Maltese girl die a horrid death diagnosed with GME. I understand your pain and appreciate you wanting to get the word out about the dreaded diseases that are going to take many of our Goldens. I did the same.
Now I can only speak for myself here. I will donate when I can and I dont necessarily think Ill make it public if I do. I Thank You for having our Goldens best interest at heart.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

I'm hardly going to argue on this topic either, it is important. But I am saying there's more than one way to make a difference. I'm not going to be guilted or bullied into donating money to any cause.

And to be quite honest, I'm really taken aback by this thread. I immediately had a very strong reaction to the original post ... I need to step back now and think about this for a bit.


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## LauraBella (Feb 9, 2010)

I am glad you posted. And I'm glad you posted this thought as well. I actually didn't see the other posts you made (but I don't make as many visits to forums as some--or even as many as I used to), but I will look for them. I guess sometimes things get missed just because they aren't at the top of the list. But, yes, there is also a question of priorities, sometimes. Thanks for reminding us to look at those. Please don't loose heart, though. Not *all* priorities are misplaced.


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## msdogs1976 (Dec 21, 2007)

BajaOklahoma said:


> Getting mad because others don't prioritize the same way you do only hurts you..... and maybe angers a few people who you've made feel guilty. You have no idea of what they are dealing with in their lives - financially, emotionally, and so on.
> 
> We each have causes that we believe in and support the best way we can. I respect your choice, but you can't choose for me and I can't choose for you.


I agree. Couldn't say it any better.


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## Jackson'sMom (Oct 13, 2007)

And sometimes people donate quietly, without fanfare. I donated to help Robin, the golden police dog now fighting for his life. I donated to Bark for Life and to Relay for Life when Meggie was participating. I raised several thousand dollars in the fight against breast cancer in a 60-mile walk and a 26-mile walk. I did Relay for Life. I donate to other causes, too, both dog- and non-dog related. I'd guess that many of us donate to lots of causes, but we don't crow about what we're doing. And sometimes we do other things to help besides give money. That doesn't mean we don't care about other causes. I lost two dogs to cancer, one of them a golden. But I am retired and can't donate every time someone asks for money. I wish I could.


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## Braccarius (Sep 8, 2008)

hotel4dogs said:


> I don't complain much, but I have to admit I'm livid right now.
> 
> Threads such as Favorite TV characters, World series, halloween costumes, pumpkin bread, and dog friendly cars get more views than either of the two threads about funding cancer research for golden retrievers.
> 
> ...



I don't think its that people aren't supportive of your cause. I've lost every dog I've ever owned to cancer and two grandparents. The thing is, my dogs represent joy in my life... they bring a smile to my face and make me happy. I know that Mirabelle and Harley have a finite amount of time with me.... god willing I hope its more than 15 years. In all honesty though, knowing they are going to leave me makes me want to catalog all the fun we're going to have along the way.... not dwell on the fact that they are going to die. 

I love my dogs, I would go bankrupt saving them. But, in cancer, though I've donated to research for the two legged kind my whole life, it represents a level of hopelessness that I don't like being reminded of. I suppose I avoid these topics to avoid being reminded of the fact that I am going to lose two things that matter most to me and there's nothing I can do but throw money at it. So, instead of focusing on the inevitable future... I focus on the fun we're going to have along the way.


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## Duke's Momma (Mar 1, 2007)

I'm sorry - but I donated my sweet boy to cancer research. He was part of a study at CSU and I believe that if I'd had the money and put him on a proven protocol that I may have had more precious months with him.

I donated a lymph node, I donated his blood, I donated his life and I donated his remains. I believe cancer research is important. But, I cannot give financially and that is that. 

I have to believe that when Duke gave his life that it is truly going to help or even stop someone else's puppy go through what he had to. That his death was NOT in vain. Cancer is horrible. Too many of us know first hand. There is nothing wrong with this forum.


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## FinnTastic (Apr 20, 2009)

I know for me, I usually just look at the latest post when I log on. Sometimes I'll actually go to a specific section, but not all the time. So if I log in and it isn't latest post at the moment then I won't see the thread. However, I feel like I did read your thread or someone else's about donating and I plan on it as soon as DH is out of hospital and we get back to a reg. schedule.


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## GoldenJoy (Jul 30, 2009)

Really? We're going to get the _guilty _treatment on this wonderful forum? There is NOTHING wrong with the helpful, giving, kind, knowledgeable, patient folks on this forum. So many people here give and give and give - time, money, energy, skills, etc. They don't deserve to be judged because they didn't respond to a particular post.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

Canine cancer, specifically hemangiosarcoma, is ever present in my mind these days. In fact tomorrow is the 6 month anniversary of our Barkley's passing due to this horrific disease. Going through this journey with our sweet Golden and then helping him cross over the Bridge was one of the most stressful and emotional times of my life. I wish to goodness no one else has to face this journey, yet I know that a majority of us on this forum have already gone there, or may go there in the future with our beloved Goldens. This forum was a tremendous help to me during this time, and now I feel it is my honor, and my obligation, to pay it forward and try to help someone else facing all the emotions and turmoil a cancer diagnosis and subsequent loss brings. So I will continue to view the threads in the Rainbow Bridge and the Cancer section, as hard as it is to do some days. Sometimes, after spending time there I need to go to the Chit Chat threads to de-stress and regroup. It is emotionally draining some days, especially when so many others are hurting because of a cancer diagnosis or a recent loss. I am in fact guilty of posting in the pumpkin bread and dog friendly car sections and if my Rangers ever win a game in the World Series, I might make a post there again. It's really just a way to decompress for a bit. 

I personally chose to donate to the fund Hotel posted about to further honor my Barkley and my Beau and hopefully contribute, in a very small way, to research to possibly find a better treatment or possibly a cure for it. I only wish I could give more, especially now that Rhonda is matching all contributions. Who knows, if enough of us donate what we can, no matter how small, it might just be what is needed for a breakthrough, and in time we can spare others a lot of heartache and loss.

Don't be surprised if you see a bunch of bumps in the coming days to keep this in the forefront on the forum though. Make no doubt, canine cancer and research into it are very important to all of us, even if they are scary to think about or focus on for long.


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## eirepup (Apr 14, 2010)

Personally, I am a college student and I have little income and high debt. I don't have any spare money and I don't read the cancer research threads and threads like them because I have no finances to help so I would just find it upsetting that I can't do anything. I wish I could help towards research becasuse i do believe in its importance but I really can't.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

Jackson'sMom said:


> And sometimes people donate quietly, without fanfare. I donated to help Robin, the golden police dog now fighting for his life. I donated to Bark for Life and to Relay for Life when Meggie was participating. I raised several thousand dollars in the fight against breast cancer in a 60-mile walk and a 26-mile walk. I did Relay for Life. I donate to other causes, too, both dog- and non-dog related. I'd guess that many of us donate to lots of causes, but we don't crow about what we're doing. And sometimes we do other things to help besides give money. That doesn't mean we don't care about other causes. I lost two dogs to cancer, one of them a golden. But I am retired and can't donate every time someone asks for money. I wish I could.


 
I, too, have donated to Golden Retriever Foundation several times this year. I've had a houseguest this week and haven't seen most threads. I think to assume members haven't contributed to such important avenues of research because of the lack of response to a thread is short sighted.


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## Maya's_Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

I will be honest... I skip over the sad posts and I don't even enter the Rainbow Bridge forum because it's just way too upsetting. I have a 6 month old pup.... I am aware of all the dangers she could face in her life, but right now I want to just enjoy the fun days with her. I don't want to read posts that will make me cry, I have enough going on in my daily life that will make me cry. I come on to see the beautiful dogs, get training help, and read all the silly stories about our beloved Goldens.

I can't afford financially to donate to another cancer cause, as much as I would love to. I've lost 3 of my grandparents to cancer, I am well aware of how fatal the disease is, 2 legs or 4. I do what I can, when I can. As I think all of us do.... and it should not be taken personal when a thread is not read or responded to as much as was hoped.


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## Chelseanr (Oct 3, 2010)

I too took some offense to this post, I understand how frustrating it is that no one is donating to your cause but that doesn't mean there aren't a thousand people here who would love to donate millions of dollars to curing cancers that kill our furry companions! The fact of the matter is that its a recession, lots of people have vet bills or other issues that are costly and can't afford to donate. Or in my case having just gotten my pup and paying for all the costs involved with a new dog. It's sad that it maybe doesn't get much attention but lots of people have suffered the loss of pets and can't handle reading about it, its too hard and I think everyone should be sympathetic of that. 

Above all - everyone has a story, we all need to respect that fact.


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## Kally76 (Jun 14, 2010)

I have to admit, I am a big time reader of all the posts and not much of a poster. I am much more likely to post on the chatty threads. Everyone here is so nice and knowledgeable I don't feel right posting on things I know little about.

I do look at my beautiful dogs with an overwhelming sense of heartache knowing what is likely to be in their future. So, chatting about boots or bread or cars can keep things upbeat. And I think that is okay. Whether we like it or not we know what we may eventually have to face. I can't donate to the research (which I would really like to do) because I donate to local dogs already going through treatments. We all want to help....some of us just are using different avenues to do it.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Charitable donation is a very personal thing - and a personal choice. I don't believe it's fair to criticize a person's choice to donate to one cause and not another - or not at all. I certainly don't feel anyone should feel they have the right to DEMAND others donate. 

These are tough times. Not being able to give in a financial way does not mean every single person on this forum doesn't give in other ways. 

Not giving to one specific cancer fund doesn't mean we're ignoring the reality of cancer in Goldens or being selfish. As the replies have suggested, many of us give to other charities - outside of this forum.

I'm sorry you are angry at us all.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Braccarius said:


> ...I love my dogs, I would go bankrupt saving them. But, in cancer, ... it represents a level of hopelessness that I don't like being reminded of. I suppose I avoid these topics to avoid being reminded of the fact that I am going to lose two things that matter most to me and there's nothing I can do but throw money at it. So, instead of focusing on the inevitable future... I focus on the fun we're going to have along the way.


Exactly what I was thinking, thank you for putting it so well.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

Duke's Momma said:


> I'm sorry - but I donated my sweet boy to cancer research. He was part of a study at CSU and I believe that if I'd had the money and put him on a proven protocol that I may have had more precious months with him.
> 
> I donated a lymph node, I donated his blood, I donated his life and I donated his remains. I believe cancer research is important. But, I cannot give financially and that is that.
> 
> I have to believe that when Duke gave his life that it is truly going to help or even stop someone else's puppy go through what he had to. That his death was NOT in vain. Cancer is horrible. Too many of us know first hand. There is nothing wrong with this forum.


Love you, Cindy. Loved Duke too and I miss him still so much :heartbeat


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

hotel4dogs said:


> I don't complain much, but I have to admit I'm livid right now.
> 
> Threads such as Favorite TV characters, World series, halloween costumes, pumpkin bread, and dog friendly cars get more views than either of the two threads about funding cancer research for golden retrievers.
> 
> ...


You know what really makes me livid? Generallized judgemental comments like this. 

I read through what has posted before my response and I've just gotta say - who the heck are you to generally tell me that I disgust/anger/disappoint you? Sorry, but one can't help but to take something like this personally.

Speaking personally, I too avoid the cancer threads with a vengance. If I posted on your cancer thread, I must really care for you enough to go somewhere that is very painful for me. Yeah, it's sad that cancer kills goldens. There are no words for the pain and sadness it causes when it destroys your entire world in under a year and a half. Who the heck are you to write something like that and aim in to everyone in the forum? You have absolutely NO flipping CLUE what it's like to be me and have faced and lost what I've lost. Sorry if I don't read your cancer thread (I didn't see it but I'll admit, if I did, I wouldn't have opened it) but I think that there are people like me that have very personal reasons to stay away from anything with the C word in it and that you were wrong to judge us all as you don't really understand us all and our motivations.


We are all flawed and complex people here. I prefer to stick to the light and not so heavy posts because trust me, just being myself on a daily basis is a stressful neverending thing - I know it's weak of me but I just can't handle the sorrow and the extra loss because I'm not a person who can just read something and then forget it. I carry others pain with me too easily so I pretty much close my eyes as much as I can. Bad attitude? I know that's a huge flaw but it's the best I can do and there it is.

Hotelfordogs, I get that you are really passionate about this and that sparks this post but honestly, I think you were wrong to post this and aim that anger and disgust and suggest that we are all simple minded fools who care nothing for the important issues.


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## Oaklys Dad (Dec 28, 2005)

I filter posts by the title. There are many times that I dodge the sad posts just because of how I'm feeling when I log in. I have also lost a golden to cancer and sometimes I don't like to be reminded that I may very well lose Oakly or Caue to the same disease. Please don't feel put off if some of us didn't comment your post. There are days when those subjects are just too hard to deal with.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

I dont't think it was wrong to post this thread, at all. Barb has every bit as much right to post her feelings about this subject as anyone who is passionate about tv shows, or whatever. As she said, she is not expecting everyone to donate. I have seen a LOT of posts here from people who are upset because they've started a thread, and posted photos, etc etc and get no response. How is that okay, while being frustrated about something so very important to our breed not being acknowledged is "wrong"?


Yes, cancer is "sad". And hopefully, we can make a difference so that fewer people have to be sad about their beloved dog suffering cancer. Ignoring it will not make it go away, though.

I am well aware that times are tough, and financially not everyone is in a place where they can donate. But, consider, perhaps, skipping that one bag of treats, or a couple of "bullysticks", and instead, send those few dollars to help fund research that could ultimately help YOUR dog. Send 1 buck, Rhonda makes it two. Send five bucks, Rhonda makes it ten. This can make a difference, and I have to believe that your dog would be just fine missing those few extra treats, or that bully stick, knowing that it was for a VERY good cause.


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## riddle03 (Jun 9, 2005)

Well said Momtomax !! Well said !!


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

momtoMax said:


> You know what really makes me livid? Generallized judgemental comments like this.
> 
> I read through what has posted before my response and I've just gotta say - who the heck are you to generally tell me that I disgust/anger/disappoint you? Sorry, but one can't help but to take something like this personally.
> 
> ...


 
She NEVER even intimated that anyone was a "simple minded fool who cares nothing for the important issues." No one went off on you when it comes to your well placed passion about autism, and your feelings about well meaning people who may not say the "right" thing to you, even when they are trying to be understanding. Your pain, and passion, is very real. So is Barb's, and her desired to help is admirable. 

Like it or not, CANCER is a factor that we all will deal with in this breed, in some way. Ignoring it will not help.


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## Mssjnnfer (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm also pretty offended. I have so much **** in my life right now that I enjoy those "foo foo" threads. They take me away from what I'm going through in my real life... even possible cancer for me. I have an "iffy" mole that is scaring the hell out of me right now, so I avoid anything that has to do with cancer. 

As for donating, I donate five extra dollars each and every time I go to petsmart to buy my dogs or Mittens food. I don't remember the last time we were able to buy them treats, or even a new toy. I take that back, this week we bought them a "skineez" ... first toy we've gotten them since the beginning of the year. 

I don't know... this whole forum really makes me wonder about people sometimes, but whatever. I do good on my own terms, and I know that I help... that's good enough for me.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

We don't have to read posts here and donate to canine cancer to show that we are not ignoring cancer. 

I don't think a single person here will argue that canine cancer is not important. But I really don't think we will find a cure for canine cancer until we first find the human cure. So maybe I donate to human cancer causes. The fact is you have no idea what I do -- donating is generally done privately.

For someone to come on here and say that I disgust them because I didn't read their thread on donating to canine cancer -- well, it's ludicrous. Think what you want. We all have our own lives, our own causes, our public lives, our private lives, our cyber lives and our passions. We're all different and we all make the world go round.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

Pointgold said:


> She NEVER even intimated that anyone was a "simple minded fool who cares nothing for the important issues."


Well what exactly did she mean, then? Maybe she should come on here and explain. Disgusted? Really? What does that mean?


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Barb has a right to vent her frustration about a serious issue, just as others do about whatever they are dealing with. And she also has a right to try to reconcile how she feels. "MAYBE" disgusted. "MAYBE". And never was she directing her feelings to any single person. Nor was she insisting that anyone donate. I think acknowlegement regarding the issue is all she was looking for. 
She has the same right to feel this way as those who complain about their photos not being commented on, or their threads/posts not replied to.


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## pwrstrk02 (Aug 11, 2010)

The other day I had to fart. I tried my hardest to keep it in because I was in public. The longer I waited, the more pain it was causing me. A pretty lady came and sat next to me and started to talk, small chit-chat kinda talk. So as we sat Ther and talked in the dentists office, I kept wiggling in my chair. I'm sure she started to wonder about me. I was starting to get these weird chills all over my body. I would ocationaly let out a little moan from the pain. She leaned over and softly asked if I was alright. I told her that I got some major gas. She blushed, but tried to play it off. She told me to just try and let it slip out quietly. I was about to burst, so I gave it a try. I gave a little lean to one side, prepared to cut it off if it was too loud or just too much at once. BRRRUUUUMMMMMPPPPPPP! HOLY CRAP!!! not only was it not quiet, I just crapped my pants! I was cracking up laughing because it was so loud and stunk to heaven. I think a skunk would of gave me a high five for that one. So I'm sitting there with crap in my pants wondering how I'm going to walk out of there without everyone knowing that I did it. So I jumped up in a shocked manner and yelled, " GRANDMA, YOU ARE DISCOUSTING!". And ran out. Of course my grandma is too old to smell let alone know if she even crapped her pants. So she actualy thought it was her. That was like the funniest thing in my life. So now that I brightened up this thread, let's all give the OP a hug, and call it good that we all donate to our own personal affliction causes. Jesus loves all. Have a good day. 
Randy Palmer


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## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

pwrstrk02 said:


> The other day I had to fart. I tried my hardest to keep it in because I was in public. The longer I waited, the more pain it was causing me. A pretty lady came and sat next to me and started to talk, small chit-chat kinda talk. So as we sat Ther and talked in the dentists office, I kept wiggling in my chair. I'm sure she started to wonder about me. I was starting to get these weird chills all over my body. I would ocationaly let out a little moan from the pain. She leaned over and softly asked if I was alright. I told her that I got some major gas. She blushed, but tried to play it off. She told me to just try and let it slip out quietly. I was about to burst, so I gave it a try. I gave a little lean to one side, prepared to cut it off if it was too loud or just too much at once. BRRRUUUUMMMMMPPPPPPP! HOLY CRAP!!! not only was it not quiet, I just crapped my pants! I was cracking up laughing because it was so loud and stunk to heaven. I think a skunk would of gave me a high five for that one. So I'm sitting there with crap in my pants wondering how I'm going to walk out of there without everyone knowing that I did it. So I jumped up in a shocked manner and yelled, " GRANDMA, YOU ARE DISCOUSTING!". And ran out. Of course my grandma is too old to smell let alone know if she even **** her pants. So she actualy thought it was her. That was like the funniest thing in my life. So now that I brightened up this thread, let's all give the OP a hug, and call it good that we all donate to our own personal affliction causes. Jesus loves all. Have a good day.
> Randy Palmer


 
Um...... alrighty... LOL


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## grcharlie (Nov 10, 2007)

I have lost 2 Golden girls with in the last 2 years and coming on the 4th year. One had sarcoma and the other lymphoma. I will say I still have a hard time with it. I miss them both so much! I can't read about cancer without crying...I can't come to read about it. I also lost family and friends to it. My one cousin had lung cancer and she took her own life and she shot herself in the head. Also, Halloween will be 20 years that I lost someone so special. 

Months back I did donate to a neighbor for Lymphoma. My dh in May was in intensive care for his heart and is still on Disibility until next month. I also still have a bad finger injury from May...and other medical problems. As far as donating~I can't. 

Also, I don't see why we should feel guilty posting to a chit chat forum. That is what it is for.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Look everyone Barb did not ask everyone to donate money to canine cancer reasearch;
*I don't complain much, but I have to admit I'm livid right now.*

*Threads such as Favorite TV characters, World series, halloween costumes, pumpkin bread, and dog friendly cars get more views than either of the two threads about funding cancer research for golden retrievers.*

*I don't care if people don't reply. I don't care who does or doesn't donate to the cause, the #1 killer of the breed (60-70% of all goldens will die of cancer. See that cute litter? Well picture 7 out of the 10 of them dying from cancer).*

*But obviously not many people are even bothering to read the thread, even though I posted it in 2 different sections so no one would miss it. That has me really really mad. Or maybe disgusted. Or maybe disappointed. Or maybe all of the above. *
*__________________*


Barb's point on the thread was that more people are looking at the other threads then looking at her thread about cancer. She did not mention or ask for any donations from anyone. In fact she even says "people arejnot even looking at the thread." I dont claim to know what is going thru her mind but to me it sounds like she is hurt that anyone is not even looking at the thread to see about what is going on with canine cancer research. 

Please stop with the attacks at Barb and read what she wrote again. And I think you will come to a different conclusion. Yes some people may feel uncomfortable or sad about cancer that is understandable. I know that donating is a private thing and that is fine, nobody is asking you to tell where or when you donate. 

Other people have come here and posted threads about being upset when people dont respond to their previous thread or if only a couple of people respond to their thread they make responses on that thread about their feelings about that, so that no different than what was done today. So dont be so quick to judge. We all have something we are passionate about and this is something she is passionate about.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

With all due respect, Carol, there has been a push for donations in this thread. It didn't come from Hotel4Dogs, but the theme is clear if you read through the posts.

I have no problem with anyone here expressing their passions, or being upset about issues related to their passions. But to say that they are disgusted with us here (or disappointed, or mad, or all of these) because we haven't acknowledged their passion is probably going to cause bad feelings.


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## grcharlie (Nov 10, 2007)

pwrstrk02 said:


> The other day I had to fart. I tried my hardest to keep it in because I was in public. The longer I waited, the more pain it was causing me. A pretty lady came and sat next to me and started to talk, small chit-chat kinda talk. So as we sat Ther and talked in the dentists office, I kept wiggling in my chair. I'm sure she started to wonder about me. I was starting to get these weird chills all over my body. I would ocationaly let out a little moan from the pain. She leaned over and softly asked if I was alright. I told her that I got some major gas. She blushed, but tried to play it off. She told me to just try and let it slip out quietly. I was about to burst, so I gave it a try. I gave a little lean to one side, prepared to cut it off if it was too loud or just too much at once. BRRRUUUUMMMMMPPPPPPP! HOLY CRAP!!! not only was it not quiet, I just **** my pants! I was cracking up laughing because it was so loud and stunk to heaven. I think a skunk would of gave me a high five for that one. So I'm sitting there with **** in my pants wondering how I'm going to walk out of there without everyone knowing that I did it. So I jumped up in a shocked manner and yelled, " GRANDMA, YOU ARE DISCOUSTING!". And ran out. Of course my grandma is too old to smell let alone know if she even **** her pants. So she actualy thought it was her. That was like the funniest thing in my life. So now that I brightened up this thread, let's all give the OP a hug, and call it good that we all donate to our own personal affliction causes. Jesus loves all. Have a good day.
> Randy Palmer


That is bad! :uhoh: Haha....reminds me of my dh's friend at Target. :yuck:


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## kwiland (Aug 27, 2009)

I admit that I do not read anything about cancer, because it scares the heck out of me. It's in my family history, and I've lost many family members because of it. It's too soon, and too raw, and I don't read it.

Of course I care about cancer and Goldens. I KNOW that they are prone to it. And it just scares me more.

I would like to be a better person, and more brave, and be able to tackle this issue head on. But I can't. Not now.

I know that trying to ignore or deny doesn't help or solve anything. But, I personally can't manage thinking about yet. One day. Not now.

I also can't read the rainbow bridge posts for the same reason. It's not that I don't feel someone's pain over the loss of a loved one. I do. I just can't dwell on it now.

It's cowardly, I know. But... that's where I am right now. I admire and respect those who can put aside their emotions, and post and support people going through this. But I can do that right now.

So for me, it's not that I don't care. I do. Greatly. I'm just too raw and too terrified to think about it right now.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

kwiland said:


> So for me, it's not that I don't care. I do. Greatly. I'm just too raw and too terrified to think about it right now.


And that is okay. 

{{hugs}}


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## wyldeflower (Aug 11, 2010)

I hate reading sad things as well It just upsets me i think some people just cant stand the thought of reading about cancer i lost my last dog to it a brain cancer and its just distressing..


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## esSJay (Apr 13, 2009)

Cancer has taken the life of my heart dog, Skokie at the young age of 4, my father's life when I was 9 years old, my cousin lost her leg to it when she was 12 years old, my uncle recently passed away in the Spring from it, my grandfather died of lung cancer, and my grandmother died from breast cancer. This is strictly my immediate family members, not including my neighbours, friends and co-workers who are currently going through treatment, or who went through it and couldn't bea it. Every single morning of my life I wake up thinking "which one of my friends or family members will be diagnosed with cancer today?". 

The odds are obviously not in favour for me, my family, or my dogs... it's terrifying, devastating, heartbreaking, painful, and I could go on. But as much as I want to ignore anything that has to do with the dreaded "c" word, it's hard to turn a cold shoulder and ignore it when I just know that I'm counting down the days I have left with my loved ones. And the more I ignore topic (the more we _all_ ignore the topic), the chances of finding a cure in my lifetime, my mom's lifetime or Molson's lifetime, get slimmer and slimmer.

Yes, it's a personal thing when it comes to charitable donations and I totally respect that. But remember that sooner or later though, everyone on here will be affected by this horrible disease, and those extra $5 (or $10 with Rhonda's contribution) can make the difference.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

With all due respect, I did go back and read the thread again and there has been no push to donate to any particular canine cancer cause. People started posting about what they donating to in regards to canine cancer so I think the thread took a turn of where to donate and if you do donate. 

Yes there are some strong feelings about pain of losing a dog to cancer and we all understand that, she is wanting people to look at the cancer thread. Not to donate, not to post, just to look at it. There might be something you could learn. One day it might affect your dog. What you do once you look at that cancer thread is up to you. 

And if you have lost a golden to cancer, you dont have to go there, Barb would be the first to understand. And most people that have lost a golden to cancer are already doing something to donate or have donated in the past. So you may already be aware of what she posted.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Want to be ignored? Piss and moan about being ignored. Works every time. 

_I don't have any money to donate right now so thanks for making me feel guilty about it. 


_


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Thank you Carol for posting this.
You understood my point. A lot of people obviously thought I was attacking them for not donating, and nothing could be further from the truth.
My frustration is that people have not read the threads. I realize a lot of people read threads and don't comment, or they donate without fanfare, which is why I based my comments on the number of VIEWS, not the number of COMMENTS.
I am the first to realize that we all have causes we support when we can, and we all have limited financial resources and NO ONE CAN OR SHOULD TELL US WHAT CAUSES TO SUPPORT.
But I am disappointed that people wouldn't even read the threads about funding cancer research. You can't make informed decisions if you don't read the information.
For the people who consider any reference to cancer too raw to read, I do understand. My heart goes out to you.
Barb




BeauShel said:


> Look everyone Barb did not ask everyone to donate money to canine cancer reasearch;
> *I don't complain much, but I have to admit I'm livid right now.*
> 
> *Threads such as Favorite TV characters, World series, halloween costumes, pumpkin bread, and dog friendly cars get more views than either of the two threads about funding cancer research for golden retrievers.*
> ...


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Yes, that's exactly what I want and I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear, I thought I had. I just want people to take the time to read the thread, nothing more. 
I have no way of knowing, nor would I want to, who has read or not read it. I, too, read lots of threads without commenting on them. 





BeauShel said:


> she is wanting people to look at the cancer thread. Not to donate, not to post, just to look at it. .


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

BeauShel said:


> (trimmed)With all due respect, I did go back and read the thread again and there has been no push to donate to any particular canine cancer cause. People started posting about what they donating to in regards to canine cancer so I think the thread took a turn of where to donate and if you do donate.


 


That would have been me "pushing". Yeah, real hard sell, there. Had that proverbial gun to the head, there... :no:
I suggested a way that a donation could be made that isn't going to break someone's bank.
This is a great opportunity to help make a difference, when your dollar is doubled. My suggestion was made with all due respect.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

Every dog , i have lost was to cancer also, i have lost human love ones, my husband has prostrate cancer, for 8 yrs., we do what we can.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

Some of you are not listening to some of us.

But that's okay too. It's the way the world, as well this forum, goes sometimes.


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## lgnutah (Feb 26, 2007)

I know Hotel4Dogs frustration was solely about people on this forum being more interested in "fluff" topics that have nothing to do with Goldens than really serious Golden issues, like cancer.
Look at the list of the top 10 threads and notice that the majority are Golden related issues, and 2 out of 10 are cancer related.
1







Fur All Dawgies Only (no... 300,462 2







Pictures of you and your... 95,533 3







The GRF caption competition 84,818 4







Beechwood Goldens-Barnstable... 56,886 5







lymphoma 47,963 6







My heart is breaking, please... 41,635 7







Prayers for Selka 37,855 8







getting bumped 35,607 9







Maarten 32,862 10







Confirmed - lymphoma


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## mygoldenkids (Oct 4, 2010)

My Maggie died very suddenly of a hemangiosarcoma on her spleen 2 months ago. My vet's office does a nice thing--whenever a pet dies, they send a donation to research in the pet's honor. And you're right, we do need to be more conscious of this horrible disease that affects so many of our precious babies.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

Cancer is an emotionally charged topic bc we are all so frightened of losing our best friends and so grief-striken when we do lose them. Let's not battle each other instead of the disease.


Cancer fear is always present with these goldens, and for me it waxes and wanes. I think the simultaneous diagnosis of Faera's Starlight and Nitro's Boy Wonder creates a heightened terror alert for Tally, Copley, and Hotel4Dog's Tito bc all are from those exact lines. 

Cancer is our central fight that should unite us all- not cause this fighting amongst ourselves. 

More than one of every 3 dogs on our forum has it/ will have it. The question is how best to address it: by putting out fires specifically as they happen, by doing the hardest thing and donating samples from our dogs with cancer as they are dying, and/ or by joining hands for a global study run by a tiptop university with DNA and cash both.

I think all have a place when we can swing it financially/emotionally. When we can't, and are depleted for a while, we still care.


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

Both my grandparents on my moms said had brain and lung cancer, but survived. My grandma on my moms side lost all of her hair, did chemo and i was just 10 going with her. I had seen too much about cancer then i think a 10yr old should. I know that cancer is a deadly disease that will kill many many more, but i do what i can where i can. 2 days ago myself and a bunch of other forum members helped to save a girl who was to be PTS tomorrow. I believe we saved a life, we all offered to send money to this girl to be pulled, i didn't donate to a cancer foundation, but we saved a goldens life. I didn't read your original thread but i rarely have any extra money to go towards donations, but when i do, its toward the ottawa golden rescue.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

Ljilly28 said:


> Cancer is an emotionally charged topic bc we are all so frightened of losing our best friends and so grief-striken when we do lose them. Let's not battle each other instead of the disease.
> 
> 
> Cancer fear is always present with these goldens, and for me it waxes and wanes. I think the simultaneous diagnosis of Faera's Starlight and Nitro's Boy Wonder creates a heightened terror alert for Tally, Copley, and Hotel4Dog's Tito bc all are from those exact lines.
> ...


Well put, we should unite in support against this horrific disease. I actually think more Goldens succomb to cancer than the 60%-70% statistics suggest. There are many things we can do to further the cause. If you can donate, great, if not, that's okay too. If your dog gets cancer and you can submit a blood or tissue sample to a research project, that is also a wonderful way to help the cause of finding treatments and/or a cure. It is also a lasting legacy of tribute for your cancer victim. What researchers learn with respect to canine cancers sometimes directly translates over to human cancers, so we all benefit.

I'm going to go hug my dog now....


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## John_NY (Nov 19, 2008)

I'd like to donate my 2 cents to this discussion. HA! Get it?

Well, I've dealt with my dog dying of cancer and with eating a piece of warm pumpkin bread. I'll read a post about pumpkin bread every time. That stuff is delicious!

But there is a whole section of this board that deals with cancer in Goldens but only one thread that deals with the World Series. So there is more competition for your thread to get clicks than the World Series thread.

And I donate but I don't read those threads.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

I think the ads and Google do draw people to the more generalized threads, but don't worry Barb, anyone that has dealt with cancer in dogs knows the need. I just read a message on FB about the Canine Genome and cancer. The message is out. Some day the research WILL make a difference.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

As an FYI, the work being done in animals as regards cancer (and other illinesses) directly affects the progress in research done for the forms that humans get.


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## GoldenJoy (Jul 30, 2009)

I think a lot of us just got a little heated up by the title of the op - "What is wrong with this forum?"

A forum is not an entity that can be wrong, right, kind, unkind, etc. A forum is a virtual collection of people, and in the case of this forum, an awful lot of people who want nothing more than to further the best interests of this breed. When someone says, "What is wrong with this forum?" it is very easy to infer that the real question is "What is wrong with the people on this forum?" 

I think that "What is wrong with you?" is an extremely unkind thing to say to anyone, particularly when you are speaking to another "family member." 

I truly realize (in the clear light of morning, of course) that the original post was probably not meant to insult, but darn if it didn't FEEL like a an insult - not an insult to me (I'm a first time Golden owner) but to the HORDES of wonderful folks who have helped countless others (including me) do this thing right.

Have a good day, everyone.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

It is easy to get paralyzed in the face of an enemy as big as cancer is for goldens, and it is easy to be shellshocked into apathy when we feel like there is nothing we can really do to help in the big picture.

I think this thread is a helpful wake up call bc it generates discussion of the community and its values. There was no offense intended as far as I can tell.

So often fear creates anger, like when your teenager breaks curfew and you are in tears worrying. Then, when she comes in the door, yelling happens, lol. The alchemy of fear into anger, to me, is human nature. 

I'm afraid my present goldens are going to get cancer like the past generations did, and that makes me really angry at times.


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## GoldenSail (Dec 30, 2008)

I am sorry that you are disappointed. I did see and read one of the threads, but didn't feel like reading both of them (figured they had the same content).

It sounds like....people did see it by scrolling over it but some don't want to think about cancer right now, and others know they can't donate and probably feel bad (I know I feel bad that I am not Joe Millionaire and can't give to every good cause  ) even if the thread did not tell everyone they should.

And of course, sometimes we miss threads entirely depending on how you search the forum, how internet time you have, and when you search. I know I have missed threads before and been surprised to find them after several and several pages have been written. And I wonder why I didn't find it!


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## The_Artful_Dodger (Mar 26, 2009)

I think the actual quesiton asked in this thread (i.e., why do certain threads about important issues like cancer research not get more attention) is legitimate, and I can understand why it would be frustrating that your topic is ignored. But I admit when I did first read this thread I did find the wording to be offensive. 

I didn't read your other threads. I don't read most threads - there are a lot of threads. Like others have said I generally don't read threads about cancer. I don't want to bawl my eyes out every time I log on. I also avoid topics about fundraising...because I know if I read it I will want to donate....but I don't feel financially "safe" enough to donate to every cause I want to...so I don't go there. 

Hopefully, by reading the responses you'll see that it's not that people don't care or that the forum is full of people who place more importance on tv and baseball than cancer research.


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

I saw myself quoted a few times and I admit, looking back, my reply was harsher than it had to be. Cancer in dogs is very sad and heartbreaking yes - but for those of us who deal with it on the human level - maybe it's wrong to say, but it's kind of like weighing your husbands or wife or childs life against a dogs - and all of you should know how very much I love my dogs. Yes, it would be great if they were able to come up with a cure for canine cancer but I think any of that medicine/knowledge will likely stem from a human cancer cure. Am I going to read about it and think about it? Not at all. Is that like me hiding my neck in the sand? Completely.

When I log on and read a post saying how disgusted someone is that the forum (which includes me, look at the number of posts I have) re: our (my) attitude re: cancer vrs fluff - uh, yeah, it's not only going to bring back a flood of painful memories but it's going to get my back up BIGtime. 

As for PG saying no one blasted me re: my latest autism thread I would like to point out after the vent that I apologized if I offended anyone here and it wasn't directed to anyone on this forum, just crap I deal with IRL. This post was not directed to people IRL but very clearly towards the people here. That's a huge difference and I don't think it's fair to compare the two threads.

As for saying ignoring it won't make it go away - I know that my defense/survivor mechanism isn't a positive thing but you try living through what I did - having your 2 year old a month later raise 200 dollars at a Relay for Life (that they helped me set up and had our information down) by walking 3/4 of a mile in honor of his dad that died a month ago and then hand in the money - They tell you oh, we can't give you the little special stuffy for raising x amount of money because so and so didn't put your son's name on the list so give us the money and so long. That stuffie was so important because it would have been a physical commemoration for my son to hold onto - to be proud and find comfort that he did something important to honor his dad. That may sound really stupid to everyone here but it was such a huge thing to me at the time. Since my husband with cancer was dead, it was obvious we didn't matter anymore in their minds and to this day, I have not given another penny the relay and NEVER will. It's a bad attitude, I'm sure but you haven't walked in my shoes and been kicked in the face by people who where supposed to be understanding and in an environment that was supposed to help people heal not only those with cancer, but those deeply affected by it. So yeah, I know ignoring cancer won't make it go away but ignoring cancer is what I need to do to get through my everyday life and I don't need anyone who hasn't lost the love of their life and had all those years snatched away telling me that ignoring cancer doesn't make it go away. I get that. You don't get me. I know I'm broken but I don't need anyone stating the obvious, thank you very much. If you do, I'm not going to argue or expect you to understand but I would appreciate my feelings being respected over this particular subject as many of you (and I hope no more) have not suffered that particular cancer loss.

I get passion. I think people can be passionate without putting the people you are talking to down. I would never suggest that the people on this forum as a whole disgust me, dissappoint me. We may all have a common love of goldens but we are much more different than we are alike. I wonder if HfDs thought about the posters who just recently lost their dogs to cancer and have been struggling lately or people on this forum who have lost someone very important to them through cancer or are going through that right now. I still think the blanket statements were not okay to say and yes, HTDs- you absolutely have the right to get MAD if something that important to you is getting blown off but I and others also have the right to get MAD right back at you. Yes, you have the right to let everyone know exactly how you feel and be heard but you need to accept that each and every person has the right to be heard back. I let you know how your post made me feel and that's even to me. I don't like your take and you don't appreciate mine but we've both been heard and that should put a period on it.

I don't think anyone is going to ever hold anything against HfDs or think, gee, I'm going to ignore this person now because honestly, HfDs is a great forum member and person - that obvious through all of the posts. But I think it's wrong to attack other forum members for writing back and being very blunt about how they felt about the post and why.


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## BajaOklahoma (Sep 27, 2009)

Pointgold said:


> As an FYI, the work being done in animals as regards cancer (and other illinesses) directly affects the progress in research done for the forms that humans get.


The preponderance of benefit goes from human research to animals. But if there is one piece of helpful research that goes from animal to human, it is worth it. and if there is no benefit to humans, IMO it is still worth it for the wonderful joy our animals bring to our life.
I am a former Oncology Certified Nurse. At the time I got my certification, there were only 15,000 of us in the World. I worked for what has become one of the largest Oncology groups in the US. We participated (and I am sure they still do) of the stage 3 trials on new medications. We were also involved in new vs old protocols.
I've held heads of patients while they puked their toes up. And celebrated with them as new drugs came out that stopped the vomiting and nausea. I've looked at new boobs on someone who couldn't get reconstruction right after surgery or breast cancer - and was so happy she was almost flashing them at everyone. I've stayed late to schedule tests and procedures because sometimes that the only thing I could do for people I cared about, but it meant I missed things with my kids. I've lost patients who were really friends, more loss than most of you will ever experience. 
I've lost a high school kid (who chopped wood to pay for his pickup) to a bone marrow transplant at one the "top" hospitals in the country - after I've spent 18 months going through chemo with him. Insurance wouldn't let him get it done here, he was 5 hours away from friends and many of his family. I've lost a young mother to aggressive cancer - whose children were too young to have any memories of her.
I've lost my father and other family to cancer. 
I lost my heart dog to lymphoma last year.
I know "medical speak" and how what the doctor/vet says isn't what the patient and their family hears. I've even been on the patient side and know how easy the need to "hope" interfers with your ability to actually "hear."
I've seen a lot of inaccurate and just plain wrong information on various sites. 
So I don't/won't be reading posts on cancer and death. I know enough for now and where to go to learn more.


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## sterregold (Dec 9, 2009)

To be frank, I tend not to read the posts about funding drives for new or existing studies as I already have a longstanding cancer research fund that I support with my time, the efforts of my club (we always have a fundraiser for them at our specialty), money, and frankly, my dogs. I've worked with the Smiling Blue Skies fund which supports cancer research based out of the Ontario Veterinary College since I lost my first Golden to cancer 9 years ago, and since my breeder lost Juni and Win's dam 5 years ago. I submitted blood samples for the DNA bank at the Rhode Island national and gave as complete a history on their family connection as possible to cancer so that their DNA can be used wisely.

I come to this forum to look at breeding issues, training/performance threads, and to get a chuckle. I generally choose not to read threads like the one that got you so frustrated because I am already committed in my own way. The research I am funding is making progress. The study my dogs have been taking part in may just have found a preliminary bloodwork marker that can be used to id early stage hemangio. I am going to keep funding research I think is productive and I'm not going to feel bad about choosing to focus on that.

My choice does not mean I am ignoring the problem, I'm just already committed and I think that may be the case for many other people on here as well. I commend Rhonda for stepping up to try to raise funds for research, but I am already committed to it as are many others on this forum--and I think this, rather than apathy, may account for it more than anything else.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Barbara*

I am so glad that you posted about the Cancer Research and I believe that I've bumped it up, but to be honest, since I lost my job 14 months ago and there is no job in sight, I feel awful visiting threads that are worthy of donations and not being able to contribute.

Prior to my losing my job, I donated to so many causes, rescues and to fund getting Golden Rets. from High Kill shelters and into rescues. It's very HARD not to be able to, now.


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

This thread has gone on for 10 pages now...as I said before Hotel4Dogs, I understand your frustration.

I do have a question though...not just for Hotel4Dogs, but for anyone on this thread. Did anyone read my thread last month on the Meishas Hope Fund Challenge? 
I got one reply, at the time had very few views..the one reply came from a poster here who has a dog that actually survived the disease.

I have lost two dogs to that disease, that is something I am very passionate about finding a cure or even a cause! My Vet has gone from treating one case a month 5 years ago to treating 3 or more per week. Sixty percent of dogs who get AIHA/IMHA do not survive.

So, in all fairness, my thread got much less response than yours has (I know I am not one of the popular kids). You are trying to do a good thing...but you can't make people donate or read a thread.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Actually, yes, I did read it.
I almost lost my daughter to Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia when she was 8 years old. It was the worst time of my life.
It's a subject very dear to me.




Dreammom said:


> This thread has gone on for 10 pages now...as I said before Hotel4Dogs, I understand your frustration.
> 
> I do have a question though...not just for Hotel4Dogs, but for anyone on this thread. Did anyone read my thread last month on the Meishas Hope Fund Challenge?
> I got one reply, at the time had very few views..the one reply came from a poster here who has a dog that actually survived the disease.
> ...


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

I am very sorry you had to go through that, I went through something similar with my then 2 year old son - they thought he had a cancerous tumor. It was the worst 3 months of my life.

I am glad you read my thread !




hotel4dogs said:


> Actually, yes, I did read it.
> I almost lost my daughter to Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia when she was 8 years old. It was the worst time of my life.
> It's a subject very dear to me.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I'm sorry, too, that you went thru that with your son. I can think of nothing worse than when something is seriously wrong with one of your children. It took my daughter a full year to finally conquer the AIHA. She is now healthy, I hope your son is as well.






Dreammom said:


> I am very sorry you had to go through that, I went through something similar with my then 2 year old son - they thought he had a cancerous tumor. It was the worst 3 months of my life.
> 
> I am glad you read my thread !


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## Rubymom (Mar 14, 2009)

I am relatively new, compared to many, read often don't post a lot but this thread compelled me to comment. I can only speak for myself but as a cancer survivor of a aggressive cancer diagnosed in my twenties and forever changing my life, there are times that I am unable to read or hear about anything having to do with cancer, not rational but purely emotional and unfortunately I am probably not alone in that being the reason for avoiding the threads that hit too close to home, as I know not one person who has not been affected, human or pet, many both, by this horrible disease. I thank you for posting this because it did make me remember the importance of not ignoring what terrifies you. For me, that could have been accomplished without using the adjectives of disgust and disappointment but having people as yourself who feel so strongly about these things will be the only way that hopefully we can move closer to cures for what has taken so many of those that we love.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

I don't stop by often, so I miss a lot of threads.


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## KellyH (Sep 5, 2010)

I echo what many people said here. I lost my dog to cancer just seven weeks ago and am completely devastated. It's very hard to read these threads. In addition, I just saved a huge sum of money and donated it to another cause (but equally worthy) in Bridget's honour. Please know that just because people don't respond on the threads it doesn't mean that they didn't read them/don't care/or didn't donate.


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## Muddypaws (Apr 20, 2009)

I read your threads, have donated to cancer research for Goldens but I don't always post on the threads. I tend to bookmark links/informational sites and links like this I consider informational.

I lost my Mother to cancer and I have a very hard time reading links about the disease. I also lost my sheltie and MIL lost 2 Goldens to cancer so I am concerned and aware of it's impact to the breed. This topic is very personal to me and I don't like to talk/discuss it. I think many people feel the same way.


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## Duke's Momma (Mar 1, 2007)

Jo Ellen said:


> Love you, Cindy. Loved Duke too and I miss him still so much :heartbeat


Thank you, Jo for helping keep his memory alive. You know I love ya, girl! Give Daisy a big ole wet slurppy kiss for me and Coley and Angel Duke. I miss him more than I ever could have imagined.

This thread really hit a raw nerve with me. My issue and no one elses. I've been having a rough time of it with the seasons changing and missing my mom so much as well - who - btw, was also lost to me (cancer) exactly 2 months after we said goodbye to Duke. It's been a hell of a year and I, for one, cannot wait for it to be over.

And, I'd also like to say that if it weren't for friends/family on this forum, I'm not sure how I'd have gotten through either one of these life changing events. Actually, I'm not sure I'm through them even yet.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

sterregold said:


> To be frank, I tend not to read the posts about funding drives for new or existing studies as I already have a longstanding cancer research fund that I support with my time, the efforts of my club (we always have a fundraiser for them at our specialty), money, and frankly, my dogs. I've worked with the Smiling Blue Skies fund which supports cancer research based out of the Ontario Veterinary College since I lost my first Golden to cancer 9 years ago, and since my breeder lost Juni and Win's dam 5 years ago. I submitted blood samples for the DNA bank at the Rhode Island national and gave as complete a history on their family connection as possible to cancer so that their DNA can be used wisely.
> 
> I come to this forum to look at breeding issues, training/performance threads, and to get a chuckle. I generally choose not to read threads like the one that got you so frustrated because I am already committed in my own way. The research I am funding is making progress. The study my dogs have been taking part in may just have found a preliminary bloodwork marker that can be used to id early stage hemangio. I am going to keep funding research I think is productive and I'm not going to feel bad about choosing to focus on that.
> 
> My choice does not mean I am ignoring the problem, I'm just already committed and I think that may be the case for many other people on here as well. I commend Rhonda for stepping up to try to raise funds for research, but I am already committed to it as are many others on this forum--and I think this, rather than apathy, may account for it more than anything else.


I just went to the Smiling Blue Skies Fund website, and am very impressed with the quantity of useful information on it, especially the Studies in Cancer Section (The Smiling Blue Skies Cancer Fund: Studies in Cancer)

Interestingly, Rhonda Hovan's name appears in numerous research studies, as does Dr. Modiano. Ms. Hovan is the person matching donations in Barb's original post. Thank goodness for people like Ms Hovan for helping out in cancer research for our favorite breed. 

Thank you Sterregold for posting the reference to Smiling Blue Skies Cancer Fund too. I've bookmarked it and plan to go through it in more detail very soon.

Does anyone know if they are still collecting DNA samples from healthy (no cancer diagnosis) dogs for DNA banks? If so, please post any information as I wish to send in Toby's DNA and help the cause of research. Thank you!


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## cham (Feb 21, 2008)

Jo Ellen said:


> I'm hardly going to argue on this topic either, it is important. But I am saying there's more than one way to make a difference. I'm not going to be guilted or bullied into donating money to any cause.
> 
> And to be quite honest, I'm really taken aback by this thread. I immediately had a very strong reaction to the original post ... I need to step back now and think about this for a bit.


 
I have to agree with Jo Ellen on this subject and this thread. For years I have donated my time and money to Goldens and dogs in general, when I had it. I haven't been able to work now for going on 4 years, but I have continued to donate my time and what little money we can spare to various charities which *I* chose to donate.

As some of you know I was diagnosed with Cancer in September, so right now I'm sorry but I have other things on my mind, including my human family, my fur family, and the rescues that I work with. 

I'm sorry that it upsets you that it would appear that noone cares, but as you can see some of us have other things going on in our lives, and if you go back and you will see the support that Deb and Duke's Mom got while their dogs were dying including a large number of donations that were never mentioned.

Not everyone likes to advertise what they do and do not do with their time and money.

Sorry Sweetie no one said life was going to be fair...


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## Dreammom (Jan 14, 2009)

I am so happy your daughter is healthy! You are right there is nothing worse than having a seriously ill child. My son is now a strapping (am pretty sure healthy), 22 year old man...unfortunately this problem gets revisited every 5 years or so, and will for the rest of his life.



hotel4dogs said:


> I'm sorry, too, that you went thru that with your son. I can think of nothing worse than when something is seriously wrong with one of your children. It took my daughter a full year to finally conquer the AIHA. She is now healthy, I hope your son is as well.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

cham said:


> I have to agree with Jo Ellen on this subject and this thread. For years I have donated my time and money to Goldens and dogs in general, when I had it. I haven't been able to work now for going on 4 years, but I have continued to donate my time and what little money we can spare to various charities which *I* chose to donate.
> 
> As some of you know I was diagnosed with Cancer in September, so right now I'm sorry but I have other things on my mind, including my human family, my fur family, and the rescues that I work with.
> 
> ...


 

Barb was not asking people to donate, and if they have donated, or who they donate to. That was clear. She was upset that no one even acknowledged the thread. 
There is plenty of that sort of thread on this forum. (No one comments on my pics/posts/threads, etc)


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

You are correct. She wasn't ASKING us to donate outright. But many people, the majority it seems, had a negative reaction to her post. Perhaps it was to this passive aggressive NON-ask:



hotel4dogs said:


> I don't care if people don't reply. I don't care who does or doesn't donate to the cause, the #1 killer of the breed (60-70% of all goldens will die of cancer. See that cute litter? Well picture 7 out of the 10 of them dying from cancer).


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I tend to avoid the really intense threads because I take everything so to heart. If I read to much, all I can do when I look at Penny is cry because she's going on 9; 3/4 of her life is over no matter what happens from here on. That steals from today and that isn't fair to her. 

Also, I have a problem with giving money. Not in that I don't want to be charitable but because I really need to look at the books. What percentage of donations actually go for research? What has been accomplished by the organization? Are they legitimate in their research and discovery? All these causes are worthy, not all organizations are deserving.


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## cham (Feb 21, 2008)

Pointgold said:


> Barb was not asking people to donate, and if they have donated, or who they donate to. That was clear. She was upset that no one even acknowledged the thread.
> There is plenty of that sort of thread on this forum. (No one comments on my pics/posts/threads, etc)


 
We have all had threads that have not been acknowledged, questions that were never answered, friendships that have come to or not to come to fruition. It is the nebulous, anonymous nature of the internet. 
I am truly sorry that Barb was upset, but this is playing with a tough crowd, you and I and some others would do well to remember that. Demanding attention for your thread or pet cause always always backfires.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I have a suggestion....

Pepsi Refresh has a project that anyone can nominate their favorite charity or submit their own idea. Then you can vote for it everyday. If you are on facebook you can post it on your page and have all your friends vote for them everyday. Think of how many votes you could get, if you vote and get your friends to vote and they get their friends to vote and so on. 

We vote every month for the picture of the month, members entering contests for a picture or contest, why not vote for a canine research thru the Pepsi Refresh Project. If ten different charities were listed I know people here would vote. And it would not involve any money, just a vote a day. 

We can band together helping animals, charities, and bring togetherness back on the forum. 

Here is the website to add your charity on the website and it starts the beginning of Novemeber. It runs for one month. 
How It Works - Pepsi Refresh Project


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Sweet Girl said:


> You are correct. She wasn't ASKING us to donate outright. But many people, the majority it seems, had a negative reaction to her post. Perhaps it was to this passive aggressive NON-ask:


 
She made two threads about the cancer project/fund raising that Rhonda Hovan is doing matching funding. THIS thread was not asking for anything. And, so what? What is wrong with fund raising for such a cause???? It's done all the time. Breast cancer. March of Dimes. AIDS. You name it, there is a fund raising campaign. And we are a Golden Retriever forum. What BETTER place to make the project and need known?
Good grief! People have come here and solicited funds for _themselves_. I was solicited to help pay for vet bills for a number of members.
Why the rancor about CANCER funding? I don't get it.


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## wenryder (Oct 21, 2010)

Chelseanr said:


> I too took some offense to this post, I understand how frustrating it is that no one is donating to your cause but that doesn't mean there aren't a thousand people here who would love to donate millions of dollars to curing cancers that kill our furry companions! The fact of the matter is that its a recession, lots of people have vet bills or other issues that are costly and can't afford to donate. Or in my case having just gotten my pup and paying for all the costs involved with a new dog. It's sad that it maybe doesn't get much attention but lots of people have suffered the loss of pets and can't handle reading about it, its too hard and I think everyone should be sympathetic of that.
> 
> Above all - everyone has a story, we all need to respect that fact.



Agreed 100%. Enough said.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Pointgold said:


> She made two threads about the cancer project/fund raising that Rhonda Hovan is doing matching funding. THIS thread was not asking for anything. And, so what? What is wrong fund raising for such a cause???? It's done all the time. Breast cancer. March of Dimes. AIDS. You name it, there is a fund raising campaign.
> Good grief! People have come here and solicited funds for _themselves_. I was solicited to help pay for vet bills for a number of members.
> Why the rancor about CANCER funding? I don't get it.


For me, what bothered me was the implication that if I posted in the fun, entertaining threads I didn't care about cancer in Goldens.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

mylissyk said:


> For me, what bothered me was the implication that if I posted in the fun, entertaining threads I didn't care about cancer in Goldens.


 
I'm sorry that you interpreted it that way. I don't think that was at all what Barb meant, (and she stated as such) but rather it was a comparison - I can see that. 

I don't think anyone needs to be defensive, she was not directing it at any one in particular. I get her frustration.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

What is there not to get here? Every single one of us cares about cancer, human and canine. 

There is rancor here about cancer funding because of the way in which it was presented. The first 2 threads were fine, cancer funding ... read if you wish, participate, no pressure. Put the information out there, let people choose.

Where this went wrong was the negativity that was added after ... What is wrong with this forum, anger, disgust, disappointment, it's not going to hurt you or your dog to give up that extra bully stick. That's pressure, and shame ... and like it or not, people don't respond well to that. 

People _have_ come here to ask for help. I received some unbelievably generous help when Daisy was so sick -- I did not solicit it but I can't tell you how much it meant to me :heartbeat :heartbeat :heartbeat The difference is that in these cases, no one came back and guilted or shamed anyone for not giving, or not reading a thread. Giving is a voluntary gift from the heart ... as should be donations for cancer funding.

_No one_ is showing rancor for cancer funding. What you are seeing is rancor for the way in which it was presented. BIG difference.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

Pointgold said:


> She made two threads about the cancer project/fund raising that Rhonda Hovan is doing matching funding. THIS thread was not asking for anything. And, so what? What is wrong with fund raising for such a cause???? It's done all the time. Breast cancer. March of Dimes. AIDS. You name it, there is a fund raising campaign. And we are a Golden Retriever forum. What BETTER place to make the project and need known?
> Good grief! People have come here and solicited funds for _themselves_. I was solicited to help pay for vet bills for a number of members.
> Why the rancor about CANCER funding? I don't get it.


I agree Laura. I have donated to individuals (not that they requested it) as I know have you. There are many great canine and human cancer charities and research foundations.

Maybe this is where we band together again as golden lovers and agree to disagree on this thread.


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## lucysmum (Sep 2, 2010)

I for one would gladly donate every penny I have for animals, whether it be cancer research or shelters or any other needy animal.

I have gotten myself into numerous arguments over people mistreating their animals, infact once... it came to blows..

I have to force myself not to read the Rainbow Bridge posts or the Rescue posts, because I know that I will get really sad.

My Lucy is going through chemotherapy just now and all my cash and all my strengh is going into keeping her as happy as I can. And keeping myself from getting sick over the worry.

Perhaps, one day I will be able to read every post and make donations to the causes I choose.

But for the moment... I can do nothing. I am so sorry.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Pointgold said:


> She made two threads about the cancer project/fund raising that Rhonda Hovan is doing matching funding. THIS thread was not asking for anything. And, so what? *What is wrong with fund raising for such a cause???? It's done all the time. Breast cancer. March of Dimes. AIDS. You name it, there is a fund raising campaign. And we are a Golden Retriever forum. What BETTER place to make the project and need known?*
> Good grief! People have come here and solicited funds for _themselves_. I was solicited to help pay for vet bills for a number of members.
> *Why the rancor about CANCER funding?* I don't get it.


I don't believe anyone, including me in the post you responded to with this, ever said anything is wrong with fundraising for any cause. Including cancer. If they did, I missed the post. 

I have no issue whatsoever with Barb creating her threads to let people know about a canine cancer fundraising effort. In fact, I applaud her dedication and effort. It's her personal choice to do so. 

What I do have a problem with is having her come back and ask "What is wrong with this forum?" just because everyone didn't drop everything, read her thread and respond. No one should feel they need to justify why they give or don't give to one specific cause. And it was unfair to many of us for her to imply we don't CARE about cancer because we didn't read her thread.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Jo Ellen said:


> What is there not to get here? Every single one of us cares about cancer, human and canine.
> 
> There is rancor here about cancer funding because of the way in which it was presented. The first 2 threads were fine, cancer funding ... read if you wish, participate, no pressure. Put the information out there, let people choose.
> 
> ...


 
Whatever. You will not see it as Barb has explained that it was meant. That's your viewpoint, not hers. 

And YES. I was the one who mentioned giving up a bag of treats or a bullystick, however, JE, it was NOT "guilting" anyone into ANYthing. It was a suggestion for a way to donate to an important cause, during tough times, for those who would like to but might not think they are able to. A SUGGESTION, Jo Ellen. If you want to put words in my mouth, and twist my intent, that again is your problem. 

Any rancor as to how it was presented is sorely misplaced.

You all can take as much time and energy bitching about it as you want. 
I know how Barb feels, and what she intended (because I believe her explanation, not that I needed one). 

Donations are voluntary gifts from the heart, indeed. Barb bringing this particular issue and fund raiser (matching funds) is hardly a terrible thing. Neither is her concern that no one seemed to even acknowlege it.

Geeze.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Sweet Girl said:


> I don't believe anyone, including me in the post you responded to with this, ever said anything is wrong with fundraising for any cause. Including cancer. If they did, I missed the post.
> 
> I have no issue whatsoever with Barb creating her threads to let people know about a canine cancer fundraising effort. In fact, I applaud her dedication and effort. It's her personal choice to do so.
> 
> What I do have a problem with is having her come back and ask "What is wrong with this forum?" just because everyone didn't drop everything, read her thread and respond. No one should feel they need to justify why they give or don't give to one specific cause. And it was unfair to many of us for her to imply we don't CARE about cancer because we didn't read her thread.


 
Go find the myriad of threads where other members complain about not being acknowledges and twist their words, too, then, because Barb didn't say anything about dropping everything to read her threads, nor did she ask for justification about why the give or don't give.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Pointgold said:


> Go find the myriad of threads where other members complain about not being acknowledges and twist their words, too, then, because Barb didn't say anything about dropping everything to read her threads, nor did she ask for justification about why the give or don't give.


Well, no one said there was anything wrong with fundraising for cancer, either. So don't you be twisting people's words either, please.


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## Judi (Feb 26, 2007)

Ian'sgran said:


> My wonderful boy died from cancer just this May. I am not yet able to read posts about cancer or rainbow bridge. I think there may be a few more like me too sad to read these posts.


I am sorry for your loss. I am almost positive that there are many more like you. It hufts! I lost a Golden Retriever to rectal Cancer two weeks before his fifth birthday.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Hey has anyone thought of the idea of what I brought up instead of what the intent of this person was or what the intent of that person was? I think it is a good idea. Personally I thought one person would post about it but there hasnt been one post about it. 
Sorry I just had to post that as a joke, I dont mean anything by it. So please dont jump on me about it. I am trying to bring some smiles to the thread :smooch: 
It hasnt been a good day for me. A friend's husband passed away and CoCo just had a bad seizure again. He is my foster pup.


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## Judi (Feb 26, 2007)

I hope things get better soon for you and yours.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

Sweet Girl said:


> Well, no one said there was anything wrong with fundraising for cancer, either. So don't you be twisting people's words either, please.


 
Complaints about soliciting donations were expressed.


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## Judi (Feb 26, 2007)

I don't remember reading that.


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## goldyjlox (Jun 27, 2010)

I just lost my boy 2 weeks ago to lymphomia. my brother who is 30 is dying of cancer, second cancer he beat the first at 17.This time it is EVERYWHERE I just dont understand how any of this happens?? Why are people and goldens (dogs in general) getting cancer?? I wish everyday that there would be a cure found, for humans and animals. Its a nightmare to live in it. ANd here we are, going into the best months of the year..christmas. We lost our golden boy and probably my brother. I will do what I can to help the fight!!!


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

goldyjlox said:


> I just lost my boy 2 weeks ago to lymphomia. my brother who is 30 is dying of cancer, second cancer he beat the first at 17.This time it is EVERYWHERE I just dont understand how any of this happens?? Why are people and goldens (dogs in general) getting cancer?? I wish everyday that there would be a cure found, for humans and animals. Its a nightmare to live in it. ANd here we are, going into the best months of the year..christmas. We lost our golden boy and probably my brother. I will do what I can to help the fight!!!



I am so very sorry for your loss of your dear boy and now your brother's battle with cancer too. It is a nightmare. My good friend Nancy is just starting her battle and my beloved Selka went to Heaven in Sept.
I am devastated by the loss of Selka and praying for Nancy nonstop. I hate this disease.


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## Rhapsody in Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

Its helpful to remember that there are people on this forum from all over the country - and there are cultural differences between all of us. For example, I was once on a thread where people were telling jokes that I found very offensive. I had a very difficult time reading it. I stated that I was offended and the stupid comments (yes, where I come from the comments would be considered stupid) went on for days. I felt like I was a visitor to some other uncivilized country. That was my experience - honestly - that is how I felt - honestly. I wondered what kind of people participated on this forum - maybe I shouldn't be here. So I decided to stay away from the jokes and chit chat - I summed up that particular experience to "birds of the feather, flock together. "

In reading the initial post on this thread - I felt kinda bullied in reading it - but again, its a cultural thing - it has a lot to do with how I was raised and where I come from. 

Its important to remember that we all communicate differently. There are generational differences. Male/Female differences. Yes, we have different experiences that trigger different feelings. Different frames of reference. 

However, one thing we have in common is passion. Who doesn't have big love for their Golden(s)? Can you get past what Barb said and how she said it and how it makes you feel? Its such a waste of time and time is all we have. I say let Barb off the hook. Sure, she could have made her point more diplomatically, but this cause resonates with her heart - who doesn't get that? For me, that's the difference - its huge. This is serious . . . its important . . . . its not lightweight stuff. 

Thank you Barb for sticking your neck out for a very worthy cause.


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## Phillyfisher (Jan 9, 2008)

Ok, I admit I am a bad forum member. I did not even look at that thread. First GR, cancer is pretty far from my mind. But it shouldn't be. Sorry.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Nope, you're a good guy and now you will educate yourself about the problems of cancer in our breed. I think that makes you a great forum member.




Phillyfisher said:


> Ok, I admit I am a bad forum member. I did not even look at that thread. First GR, cancer is pretty far from my mind. But it shouldn't be. Sorry.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

I think a lot of us are getting educated about canine cancers just hanging out at GRF. I didn't read your thread but I've been around for awhile, and other forums too. Recently one of our cleaning ladies at work -- her golden was diagnosed with acute lymphocitic leukemia, I knew exactly where to go to get information for her because of these forums. Average dog owners that I talk to or family or friends consider me to be very smart about dogs, they come to me a lot for information about a lot of things. 

Am I a great forum member too?


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I think that everyone who has taken the time to read this thread, and/or to respond to it, is a great forum member and I sincerely thank everyone for their time.


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

hotel4dogs said:


> I think that everyone who has taken the time to read this thread, and/or to respond to it, is a great forum member and I sincerely thank everyone for their time.


That's a wrap  Thanks, h4d.


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## Pointgold (Jun 6, 2007)

hotel4dogs said:


> I think that everyone who has taken the time to read this thread, and/or to respond to it, is a great forum member and I sincerely thank everyone for their time.


I'd vote for you for President!


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## T&T (Feb 28, 2008)

I haven't been around ...for "happy" or "not so happy" threads
Been trying to cope with my share of life challenges
Miss T just lost her Dad (my best friend), not to cancer, but to side effects of radiotherapy treatments
Yes, billions & billions of "research" $ later ...
Meanwhile, we are surrounded by, and store shelves/homes are full of approved carcinogenic foods/products/gadgets ... (oh yeah ... good for the economy) 
And worst of all, not labelled as such (... no good for the economy) :doh:
What exactly is the cancer society doing about it ? 
I stopped donating 5 years ago & will not donate one cent more until a good chunk of the $$$ goes towards prevention instead of damage control at the profit of pharmaceuticals
Right now less than 10% $ is spent on "prevention" ... campaigns such as "don't smoke", "eat your fruits & veggies" , and "exercise" ... :doh:

THAT's what's wrong with GRF forum member T&T


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## Jo Ellen (Feb 25, 2007)

T&T said:


> I haven't been around ...for "happy" or "not so happy" threads
> Been trying to cope with my share of life challenges
> Miss T just lost her Dad (my best friend), not to cancer, but to side effects of radiotherapy treatments
> Yes, billions & billions of "research" $ later ...
> ...


I really appreciate your thoughts, T&T. I've been thinking ... just because we find the cause(s) of cancer doesn't mean we're going to be able to prevent it. Maybe the culprits are so deeply entrenched in our way of living now that even if we did know what causes cancer, we may be a thousand lifetimes away from a cure.


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## GoldenJoyx'stwo (Feb 25, 2007)

BeauShel said:


> I have a suggestion....
> 
> Pepsi Refresh has a project that anyone can nominate their favorite charity or submit their own idea. Then you can vote for it everyday. If you are on facebook you can post it on your page and have all your friends vote for them everyday. Think of how many votes you could get, if you vote and get your friends to vote and they get their friends to vote and so on.
> 
> ...


I vote daily... The Group would have to have their idea accepted by Pepsi. It's not always easy. I know one person whose idea was booted twice. They sometimes do not tell you your idea was not accepted until a few minutes before the start date of voting. If indeed this particular idea is accepted, please let me know. I will take part. 

If this group is a 501c3, tell them to be ready to take part in the Chase Community of Giving. Most Charities do not even know they can take part and are automatically on the list. Chase pulls the names from a database. One of our local shelters was granted 20,000.00 just for staying in the top 200 for votes. And, a few groups received up to 200k. I think the most votes may have received 500k.

Be part of the change...turn frustration into action.


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## cham (Feb 21, 2008)

Jo Ellen said:


> I really appreciate your thoughts, T&T. I've been thinking ... just because we find the cause(s) of cancer doesn't mean we're going to be able to prevent it. Maybe the culprits are so deeply entrenched in our way of living now that even if we did know what causes cancer, we may be a thousand lifetimes away from a cure.


 
We do know what causes cancer - technically it refers to a large group of physiological, and environmental diseases in which gene mutations have caused the development of abnormal cells to grow and divide in an uncontrollable fashion, it also can kill normal cells along with spreading the diseased cells thoughout the body.
Right now the only cures we have are the introduction of toxic substances into the cancer sites in hopes the right combination of toxins will overpower and kill the cells with the gene abnormalities, and or surgery.
I do believe that because of our lifestyles, there are more gene mutations happening leading to more and more diagnosed cancer.
Will we ever "cure" cancer, highly doubtful, it would be like curing the common cold or the flu, anymore than trying to prevent cancer (actually that might easier) Everytime there is a positive step forward a gene will find a new mutations and we have a new cancer.
Better treatments are a more realistic answer.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I'm coming in late here, but I have to say my favorite donations go to RAGOM. You can check if you want, they might verify. The frustrating thing about fund raising is you don't know who you reach or how. But this has been a very generous forum and I am a bit insulted at your accusations of non-compliance.


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## LifeOfRiley (Nov 2, 2007)

I'm coming in a little late, too.

I did see the thread in question, Barb. I saw the "funding" and the "and we can all help" and I didn't open the thread.
The fact is, no - this week, I _can't_ help. I did, however, make a note to check back and read that thread next week when I should be able to make a donation.

I have no problem with people posting about important and worthy causes, especially where our Goldens concerned. I have no problem with donation threads being posted when a forum member needs a little financial help. No problem at all. I think it's one of the great things about this forum. 

At first, the only thing I took exception to, in this thread, was the comparison between the number of views for the cancer thread and the number of views for the "fluff" threads. To me, that seemed to imply that members are shallow or just don't care about cancer reasearch and I don't think that's fair. 
But I understand your frustration and the more I thought about it, I think I understand what you were trying to say. And if sticking your neck out and 'calling out' the members here brings more awareness to such a worthy cause, then the end justifies the means and I have to admire you for doing it.


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## sameli102 (Aug 23, 2009)

hotel4dogs said:


> I don't complain much, but I have to admit I'm livid right now.
> 
> Threads such as Favorite TV characters, World series, halloween costumes, pumpkin bread, and dog friendly cars get more views than either of the two threads about funding cancer research for golden retrievers.
> 
> ...


To read this thread quickly I can see where some would feel defensive.

But to carefully read it I don't see a solicitation for money, nor do I see finger pointing that no one is giving to a good cause. What I get out of it is
frustration one feels when their passion for a good cause is not acknowledged by simply reading about it and showing interest in a subject so dear to us all, and comparing it to the interest in frivolous topics that many find fun and entertaining, though there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying them too.

We do all give at some time or other to worthy causes and some times we just don't even recognize what is worthy until we are personally afflicted by it. There are diseases we may never think of donating to until someone we love is stricken, and then it becomes urgent to us. It is painful to us if no one else can see the importance.

I think all the OP was asking for was awareness and acknowledgment from a group that should be concerned or at least aware.

While many are not in a position to give to all causes at all times there are many others that are appreciative to be informed. What a great opportunity though, to have your donation doubled!


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## paula bedard (Feb 5, 2008)

I've been away from the Forum and my computer in general lately, so missed this and much else. I have donated to cancer research, in canines and humans. Maybe doing so is naive, but I have to think that every little bit helps. I also donate to other causes, but my donation dollars are stretched so thin these days, that I donate a great deal of prayer too.


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## Abbydabbydo (Jan 31, 2007)

I want to apoligize to you Barb. Defensive and cranky are my new middle name. It is a great cause and our sweet Goldens are to often affected.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

Oh Marcy, please don't. As I told you, I should have held my tongue. It's really none of my business what people read or don't read.




Abbydabbydo said:


> I want to apoligize to you Barb. Defensive and cranky are my new middle name. It is a great cause and our sweet Goldens are to often affected.


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