# Male vs. female golden



## jackson4 (Jan 3, 2019)

Hi! We are currently in the process of adding a Golden puppy to our family. We are on a list for a litter due next month. This will be our first dog ever, so looking for input on whether you would choose a male or female puppy. I noticed that all of those on our deposit list are preferencing a female, which made me wonder if there is something more desirable about having a female vs a male. I have only had cats in the past, and in my experience, my male cats have been more "lovey" and less aloof than my females. Is this at all the case in goldens?

I would greatly appreciate your advice on your preferences as well as pros and cons of male vs female, since i know many of you are experts on Goldens and have had both. We have two children 9 and 12 if that makes any difference in your recommendation. Thanks so much!

*Moderator, I wasn't sure which board would be most relevant to post this on, so feel free to move as needed. Thanks!


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## Avalanche 4 (Oct 19, 2017)

We’ve had females all our lives, so this time we decided to try a male ... A friend told us that a female will sit next to you, and a male will sit “ON” you ... It is absolutely true !!! We just luv Cooper to death, and he has so much personality, with a calm demeanor ... Maybe we just got lucky ...










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## Emmdenn (Jun 5, 2018)

I have a 7 month old male, and speaking from my personal experience he was super easy to potty train, he's a big goof and is SO friendly and gentle with everyone he meets including little kids and all dogs. He loves people and loves to be with us, but he definitely is not needy. My parents' female on the other hand is much more careful and less clumsy. She loves people too but she is VERY needy. 

Some people say males tend to be more "I love you I love you I love you!" and females are more "Love me Love me Love me!"

We wanted a male to start with because we like the look of the big male head, although in certain lines females also have very nice heads. Many people may want a female for their smaller size, especially if they have small children. Both males and females are awesome dogs. I don't think there is a huge difference between the sexes except in appearance. Mainly just personal preference. 

How exciting!! Good luck with your little pup


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## Our3dogs (Apr 3, 2008)

We have always had 1 of each, but we always start with a male when each pair has gone to doggie heaven. For us, the males are more the "goof-ball" and the females are more the "thinkers". Love them both, but I always have a soft spot for the males.


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

I've had both and IMHO gender doesn't make much difference. The most important factor when getting a pup is to make sure the pup has the type of personality you want. Since you have children, I would guess you're looking for a dog with a nice, biddable personality that's playful but not "over the top". Most good breeders will choose which pup goes to which home, so it's important to tell your breeder what kind of dog you'd like, so he or she can match you with a suitable pup. It's more difficult in situations where buyers have to choose their own pup, because in most cases they won't have had much contact with the litter and won't have seen the personalities emerge. If you must make the choice yourself, I'd still recommend asking the breeder's opinion. On the day you meet the litter, maybe the pups are tired, or the one you end up choosing seems quieter than he actually is because he's not feeling well, and so on. The breeder would be aware of this, but there is no way for you to know. There are a lot of posts on this forum from people who have ended up with pups that are totally unsuited to their lifestyle: families with young children who get assertive, "bitey" puppies, first-time dog owners who get bossy puppies, etc. In every case they've chosen their own pup.


I've had two Golden pups and the breeder chose the pup for me in both cases. The first was a female, the second a male. Both were exactly what I asked for. 



FWIW, my female was very affectionate. much more so than my male. She would spend her evenings sitting in my lap, and at agility trials would crawl up into the chair with me. My male is very attached to me but prefers to be close by rather than actually in my lap. He will lie by my chair, or on the footstool, but has never, even as a pup, come to sit on my lap. He's also goofier than the female; she was a very serious dog, he's much more playful. Both turned into amazing working dogs: driven, trainable and focused, which is exactly what I asked for. 



There are a couple of practical considerations that might affect your choice. Males tend to be slightly bigger than females. My female measured 21", my male is 23.5". Also, with the scientific evidence these days clearly showing the benefits of waiting until the growth plates have closed (at between 14 and 18 months of age) before spaying or neutering, you may want to think about how you will deal with a female dog in season. It honestly wasn't a big deal for me, but it is for some people.


My advice: if the breeder is choosing the pup for you and you don't have a strong preference for a male or female, maybe ask the breeder to choose the pup with the personality best suited to your family regardless of gender. Otherwise, since everyone else on the list wants a female, I'd be inclined to ask for a male, to be more certain of getting a pup. Honestly, unless you have a strong personal preference, gender makes much less of a difference than personality.


Best of luck, hope things work out for you!


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## Lincgold (May 11, 2018)

We have had six Goldens, three female and 3 male. We currently have two males, Lincoln’s almost 11 and Bear is 9 months. Our females were great but we love our males. I once heard a saying, “females love you but males are IN love with you”. We find this to be very true. It’s as if their sole purpose is to please you.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

My experience has been much as what everyone else has said here, even though they are generalizations, and there are always exceptions. But in my experience as well, the boys are big, loveable goofballs, and the girls get serious sooner and are a little more reserved in their love. It doesn't mean they are not loveable (my girl sits on my lap and loves to snuggle), but they are less goofy and funny, if that makes sense? 

I had one male growing up, all my others have been female. I definitely like the female seriousness. My girl is definitely a thinker, as was my last one (and the female I had as a kid). I hunt train with a bunch of Goldens, and without exception, the boys are funny and goofy, and the girls are more serious. But both are highly trainable and friendly.


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

All three of ours have been males. Love those big goofy blockheads!


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## rabernet (Feb 24, 2015)

I love my boys. I've heard it said that the girls bond to the males in the house and the boys bond to the female in the house, and that certainly seems to be holding true for us. Our last female was my boyfriend's heart dog. I loved her, but she was definitely HIS heart dog. He loves Noah, but Noah is MY heart dog. And Moses is just happy to be loved on by anyone willing to give him their attention! 

The boys are loveable goofballs. I also wanted to keep them intact, and didn't want to deal with heats, so that was another deciding factor for us. Noah only marks outside and Moses doesn't mark at all.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Our3dogs said:


> We have always had 1 of each, but we always start with a male when each pair has gone to doggie heaven. For us, the males are more the "goof-ball" and the females are more the "thinkers". Love them both, but I always have a soft spot for the males.


i really like this analogy....... 

I'm currently on my second male, I've only had one female, she was a huge tomboy but very sweet.


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## Jmcarp83 (May 4, 2018)

I’ve only ever had females. And only one of them (my 13 yo lab) isn’t very lovey. My prior female golden was always trying to be in your lap. Stella (almost 10 months) is always at my feet or next to me or trying to get in my lap. She’s very loving. If you’ve never had the one or the other I’m sure you’ll be pleased either way.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

> I love my boys. I've heard it said that the girls bond to the males in the house and the boys bond to the female in the house, and that certainly seems to be holding true for us


This certainly has been the case in my household.......


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

I truly, truly love both. My girls are sweet, sweet, sweet, but more smartypants. They have agendas, opinions, preferences, and make me giggle. They are so kind. The boys are to me more beautiful with the stunning heads, and they are also so loveydovey and mushy. They are happy to do whatever is asked, and ultra cuddly. I couldn't pick one above the other, but the are different. That old saying dogs drool and bitches rule is true in my house


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## Swampcollie (Sep 6, 2007)

With the males, it's all about you.

With females, it's all about them.


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## jackson4 (Jan 3, 2019)

Thanks to all who took the time to reply and share their experiences! It really sets my mind at ease to know that both genders are sweet and loving and we really can't go wrong. I think we will do as several of you advised and let the breeder know we are open to either gender and that we want to bring home the puppy that will be the best match for our family, regardless of gender. Thanks so much for sharing your insight and experiences with us!


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Ljilly28 said:


> My girls are sweet, sweet, sweet, but more smartypants. They have agendas, opinions, preferences, and make me giggle. They are so kind.



This is a really good description of the girls I've had. And not necessarily a negative connotation to the word "agenda." They just know what they want and will try to accomplish it. Opinions and preferences? Absolutely! 

My last girl was less likely to really stick to her guns - my current girl is more stubborn. She likes to try it her way before caving and doing it my way. I kind of love that. It was a trait my hunt trainer and I noticed early on with her.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I have had 3 males and three femals. The biggest goof ball of all was our golden girl Honey. She never developed arthritis and until 2 weeks before her death at age 13+, people took her to be no more than 5 at the most. The dog in my avatar was a male, Hunter, and he was my heart dog. I lsot him just after his 4th birthday to Proheart 6. He was the biggest goofball of the males. he loved to play games with me. At night I woudl sayd "time to go night night babies" and he, his litter mate sister KayCee and Honey woudl run to our bedroom, and the older male would go to to the front corner bedroom. Hubby was cross trucker and I was alone 90% of the time with just the dogs. Buck woudl let me know if anyone or anything came into the front yard at night--our room is in the back. Well, Hunter woudl run, jump on the bed and get on my pillow, lay there wagging his tail watching me. I would put my hands on my hips and said "Petey" in a slow voice and he woudl move to the middel of the bed. Petey was his nick name. He had all kidns of games he liked to make up and play with me. So I have no preference.


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## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

*I couldn't agree more*



Lincgold said:


> We have had six Goldens, three female and 3 male. We currently have two males, Lincoln’s almost 11 and Bear is 9 months. Our females were great but we love our males. I once heard a saying, “females love you but males are IN love with you”. We find this to be very true. It’s as if their sole purpose is to please you.


I have to totally agree with this saying...we've had 3 girls and 3 boys...and I've always had that in love feeling with my boys. Both sexes are wonderful and will make you very happy. And it's also true, the girls have always been my husband's dog(s) and the boys have been mine. Just the way of the world even if i am the one who spoils them all beyond belief (with love, treats, my side of the bed and spending lots of time alone with them).


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## JulesAK (Jun 6, 2010)

We have only had males and Maggie is our first female. While all have been lovey, there is a sweetness with Maggie that I never experienced with our males. I love this the most about her 
Jules


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## Jayt327 (Oct 18, 2018)

We have a 3 year old male and he is super mellow and loving. Biggest difference from my experience with my male and females dogs are that the females are more “you love me” and the males are more “I love you”.


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