# How long did it take for you and your puppy to bond?



## ms_summer (Mar 23, 2012)

First, I'd like to say that I *LOVE* my dog. But I don't think she feels the same about me. Lemme explain the story first, because I'd love you guys opinion about it.

I do everything for my dog. I'm the one that takes her for walks, feed her, train her, bathe her, so basically I am the person that takes care of her. I love doing it, I love having a little one depending on me to help out, grow and become a nice dog. I am by no means a perfect dog owner, and don't think I'll ever be because I don't believe there is such thing as perfection.

I just feel like lately Summer could care less about me or our home. Since her last puppy booster, she started going for play dates with my neighbors' puppy. Summer loves her friend and wants to be there all the time. Apart from her 2 walks a day (one in the morning and one in the evening), she gets to go to the neighbors house twice a day to play for about an hour, an hour and a half when I'm not home. It's good exercise for her, and I think it's great for her to be able to interact with another dog, since she is an only "child" and I don't take her to dog parks. My issue is, since she started the play dates, all she wants to do is go to the neighbors house. In the morning she will sit by the gate at 5 AM and cry and bark to get the neighbors attention. In the afternoon, the same. When she is home, all she wants to do is sleep (I figure she is tired from walks and play date). Before she goes to the neighbors house I try to go in the yard (since it's finally OK to be outside at around 5PM here without burning up) and play with her. She has NO interest in playing with me AT ALL. Again all she wants to do is sit by the gate and cry for the neighbor. I try to play with her, interact with her during the day, but again, she shows no interest. Before she started going to the neighbors house for play dates, she would love to be with us, be in the house, play with us, SHE LOVED to fetch, and was bonding great with us. After that, I feel like she'd prefer to live in the neighbors house than with us. 

I know I sound jealous and super whiny, and Summer probably wants to be there because of the dog, and not the neighbor, but I'm feeling left out. Should I start bringing the neighbors puppy over instead of letting Summer go to her house for play dates? This way she'd start thinking again that being in her house is fun too? 

I bought her new toys, sit on the floor and try to get her attention all the time to play with her and bond with her, but like I said, no interest whatsoever. I don't think she is bored, I'm just starting to think that maybe she just doesn't fancy me that much. Even my hubby gets more attention from Summer than I do and he is out of the house ALL day... it just sucks especially because she is "MY" dog and I take care of her. 

Anyway, my point is, *how long did it take for you to bond with your puppy?* Am I overreacting or should I really be concerned my dog just doesn't like me much?


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## Serawyn (May 23, 2011)

Awww... at 5 months, she is a baby. I bet you she just wants to play, play, play and to her, wrestling and running around with a puppy her kind is fun. How is she on the walks? If she is doing well then that is considered bonding time, too. 

My Ellie bonded with me from 4-6 months. Then around the 8 month mark, she got very distant and now, she goes back and forth. There are days when she is super needy and won't leave me alone (doggy underfoot). I can't tell you how many times I almost tripped over her when I step off the bed or sofa after a nap. Other times, I could have bacon and she wouldn't even care. It's just the way she is. 

I bet Summer will come around to loving you most. After all, you have the food!


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## ms_summer (Mar 23, 2012)

She is fine on the walks... and some days she will want to cuddle and follow me everywhere, especially when I need to go to the bathroom (she will wait outside and like you, I'll trip over her lol)

I guess she will become a teenager soon, and for teens, moms are never THAT much fun, lol!


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

I'm going out on a limb and guessing you don't have human kids? I'm going to generalize (all dogs are unique personalities) but mostly at the beginning kids think the world revolves around them. It's your job as a parent to teach them that it doesn't. You are maybe old hat at this point, your husband is interesting because he comes home and provides new stimulus. Your neighbor's house is just like the fun house next door where the kids get to stay up late and eat ice cream for every meal.... it's not that your dog doesn't feel happy at home, it's just that it's always a party next door.

I have felt with the puppies I have raised that it takes a good year or so to feel that they are really a companion instead of a dependent. Does that make sense? An older dog is a buddy, and a puppy is someone you love but you're constantly having to stay a step ahead. 

Do you take classes with your puppy? Can you get out a bit more on your own, training out in the park etc. where she would be looking to you a bit more for security and leadership? Might be something to try.

Please don't think your pup doesn't love you, it's just that you're mom, and she's at a stage where different interesting things will grab her attention. Hang in there, and maybe do a search on this, there are other threads from people who have felt the same way, it's not just you


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## ms_summer (Mar 23, 2012)

nolefan said:


> I'm going out on a limb and guessing you don't have human kids? I'm going to generalize (all dogs are unique personalities) but mostly at the beginning kids think the world revolves around them. It's your job as a parent to teach them that it doesn't. You are maybe old hat at this point, your husband is interesting because he comes home and provides new stimulus. Your neighbor's house is just like the fun house next door where the kids get to stay up late and eat ice cream for every meal.... it's not that your dog doesn't feel happy at home, it's just that it's always a party next door.
> 
> I have felt with the puppies I have raised that it takes a good year or so to feel that they are really a companion instead of a dependent. Does that make sense? An older dog is a buddy, and a puppy is someone you love but you're constantly having to stay a step ahead.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much. I will totally do what you suggested. We had a trainer come to our house, but I am thinking of enrolling her in some classes to she will get to know more dogs too. Will try the park thing, hopefully it will work!

P.S: No human kids for me yet, but I get what you are saying lol


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## Rebroland (May 20, 2010)

Sully is two and I've found that within the last year is honestly when we started developing that deep bond. He always wanted to be around us but nowhere near the extent that he wanted to be starting when he was around 1 year. That's when we truly noticed the change and it's been growing ever since. I agree with the above posters that that is the "fun" house and it doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. 

to tell a funny story - we've been bringing Sully to the dog park since he was 4 months old and fully vaccinated. When we first started going I used to notice that ALLL of the other goldens would stay near their owners and it used to bum me out because Sully would be running around all over the park. I used to joke that he could have cared less if we left the park. Around a year is when I noticed that he started doing the same thing and now I'm like "GO! Run around" hahaha. You will notice a change soon enough.


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

I loved Joey since the first moment I laid eyes on him! We didn't really bond until he was around 1 I think... Now at 2 years I can say our bond continues to strengthen every DAY! Him and I are on the same level for many things, We rarely have a bad day and we just love each other. I know him like the back of my hand, his quirks, what he likes, what he doesn't, what his body is saying when he is doing something. It only gets better with age I think


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

I think the bond was there the minute Max crawled into my lap and looked up at me with those big puppy eyes. Like Jamm said, we have our good days and our bad days - sometimes I swear we argue like an old married couple - don't tell my husband  - but we're still so connected.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

Brady did not start bonding until about 8 months old, then at two he became totally Velcro. MacKenzie I'd not start bonding until almost two, she was just too busy all the time.


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## ms_summer (Mar 23, 2012)

Thank you guys for all the messages. I feel much better now... Whew


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## Sammy&Cooper (Dec 28, 2011)

Sammy bonded with me right away but when I got cooper I felt like he was more bonded with my mom at first but within the last month or so he has become more bonded with me and Sammy.


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## baumgartml16 (Jun 19, 2011)

I am just noticing the real bond now and she is 14 months. I think it will continue to deepen though as time goes on. 

If you are up for it I would definitely consider having the other dog come to your house mabye every other day and switch it up. That way Summer doesn't know if she is going there or if the other doggie is coming to her.


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## ms_summer (Mar 23, 2012)

baumgartml16 said:


> I am just noticing the real bond now and she is 14 months. I think it will continue to deepen though as time goes on.
> 
> If you are up for it I would definitely consider having the other dog come to your house mabye every other day and switch it up. That way Summer doesn't know if she is going there or if the other doggie is coming to her.


Yea, I'm definitely doing that. Instead of taking Summer to play at the neighbors' today, her dog is coming over. Let's hope this works,


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I would highly recommend enrolling in some sort of obedience/rally/agility class. The bond between you 2 will grow by the day as you learn and work together  A class, btw, that does not have puppy interaction but focuses on training and building relationships.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Hey Ms Summer, I saw this thread pop up and thought I would check in. The comment from Sunrise is what I was getting at but didn't express as well as she did. I meant to encourage you to take classes with your girl to work on your 'team-building' not so much to meet other dogs. I think you would really love a pre-agility class if you gave it a shot. It's so much fun for both of you


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## Aislinn (Nov 13, 2010)

As the others have said, puppies love to play, play, play. And they want to do it all the time. Dakota is almost two years old, but I can't keep her in our front yard if put out alone because she wants only to go to the back of the property to see if her sister, who is owned by my son, is out and can play. It's not my son she wants, but her playmate. She doesn't love us any less, but we just can't play in the same manner. My daughter just started taking her running, and now it looks like running is beginning to win over playing with her sister in priorities. Five months old is too young to take running, but is there somewhere you could take her swimming? Mine love to swim and that has always been more fun to Dakota than playing with her sister. She will jump in the kiddie pool here in the yard before she goes searching for her sister, and every red clay gumbo soup puddle she can find first as well. Agility, like Nolefan said, is a great idea. Anything that involves fast active fun is what is craved by puppies.


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## Summer's Mom (Oct 20, 2010)

Hello from another Summer! 

Our key to a great bond were tricks, tricks and lots of tricks... We do lots of behaviours together and we "play" with every meal  I sound like a broken record on here cos i'm always advocating the same thing.. It REALLY works though.. Summer wants to be around me alot because she wants to know what fun interaction we may have next.. Makes for a great recall too 

Technically any form of positive training can do this  agility, obedience, anything!! something consistent.. we do 5 mins once or twice a day at most, but she offers behaviours all the time


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## Aspen's Mom (May 15, 2012)

It's funny...the bonding thing seems to go back and forth with Aspen and me. Some days, she sticks to me like glue...I can't go anywhere without her right at my side, not even the bathroom. Other days, I hardly see her...she just wants to be on her own. She gets way more excited when my husband gets home from work, than she ever does for me. I think it's because he's not home nearly as much as me. I'm just boring old mom. But, I know she loves me!


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## Aspen's Mom (May 15, 2012)

Summer's Mom said:


> Hello from another Summer!
> 
> Our key to a great bond were tricks, tricks and lots of tricks... We do lots of behaviours together and we "play" with every meal  I sound like a broken record on here cos i'm always advocating the same thing.. It REALLY works though.. Summer wants to be around me alot because she wants to know what fun interaction we may have next.. Makes for a great recall too
> 
> ...


WOW!! I'm so impressed with all of Summer's tricks! I can tell you spend lots of time working with her. You can see how much she enjoys everything...she looks so happy learning! You've done a wonderful job with her...and she's absolutely gorgeous!!


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## Summer's Mom (Oct 20, 2010)

Aspen's Mom said:


> WOW!! I'm so impressed with all of Summer's tricks! I can tell you spend lots of time working with her. You can see how much she enjoys everything...she looks so happy learning! You've done a wonderful job with her...and she's absolutely gorgeous!!


Thank you for your kind words  I must be honest and say I don't have THAT much time as a med student  but we get by with one or 2 short sessions, usually using her meals as rewards  she loves loves to work with/for me and I think it builds a lot of value for the handler in the dogs eyes.. It did wonders for her trust and confidence (as a very shy dog before)


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

Hank is my dog, I feed and care for him but when my husband is home it's all about him. I think Hank just likes doing the "guy things" outdoors. Working in the yard is definitely more appealing to him than doing laundry!


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

It takes time to form a good bond with some dogs. My Tugg is six months old, I know he likes me and likes to be with me, but not as much as my older two. In fact, I just picked all three up from being boarded for ten days, when we got home, the older two wouldn't leave my side in the back yard, wanted to be petted and played with and loved on. Tugg on the other hand was much more interested in his balls that were in the back yard. He is a very confident independent puppy, I think in time he will become more bonded with me, but I love the fact that he doesn't stress or worry when we are away.


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