# Bailey's Stressing Out



## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

I know that I have posted about this before, but I am now at my wits end. Bailey is VERY attached to me and doesn't like to be away from me, but does ok if I am out but someone else is home with him. Bailey appears to have seperation anxiety when I leave him home in the crate. He is so stressed when I/we return that he is drooling, panting and has usually ripped up something inside of his crate. We have gone through two crate pads this week as well as a few blankets. I have even video taped him to see what he does when I am gone. He concentrates on the Kong until it is emty (about 15-20 mins.) and then starts pacing in circles, panting, drooling and barking. He only lays down for about 10 minutes at a time.

He doesn't dislike his crate, he goes into it willingly and sleeps in it every night beside our bed. He even gets put into it occassionally if I have to do something that he can't be around for (like scrub the floor). His only issue is when we/I leave for awhile. I have tried putting the crate in different rooms, leaving music/tv on for him, giving him stuffed kongs/bones, covering the crate to make it more denlike, etc. Nothing seems to work. We like to travel and took our last golden with us on vacation all the time because people seem very willing to rent to us when we kept the dog crated while we were out. We had hoped to do the same with Bailey.

Sorry this is so long, but does anyone have any other suggestions? My only other thought was to move the crate out of our room and put it in the guest room at night so that he got used to being away from us. HELP, please!


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## HovawartMom (Aug 10, 2006)

Do you only have one dog?.
I know that having 2 dogs,makes it easier,in most cases.


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

golden&hovamom said:


> Do you only have one dog?.
> I know that having 2 dogs,makes it easier,in most cases.


Yep, only one. Bailey is almost 9 months old. We are empty nesters (youngest son went away to school in August) and got Bailey because we lost our 8 year old golden to cancer in July. You might have a thought there, but not sure hubby would go for it!


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## LaurJen (Aug 10, 2006)

Aww, poor Bailey (and you!). I wish I had some words of wisdom.


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## telsmith1 (Sep 11, 2006)

Baileysmom said:


> Yep, only one. Bailey is almost 9 months old. We are empty nesters (youngest son went away to school in August) and got Bailey because we lost our 8 year old golden to cancer in July. You might have a thought there, but not sure hubby would go for it!


We are expecting a litter at the end of March, hint hint hint!


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

Just right off the top of my head, without seeking any further info, I am going to suggest getting Bailey a lot more exercise, EVERY SINGLE DAY... as the beneficial effects of exercise is cumulative, it is best to achieve this in 2 or 3 exercise outings (40-minutes to an hour or so sessions) per day. In addition, I would suggest putting Bailey into the crate a couple of times a day when you are doing your chores or whatever you normally do around the house. No fuss, no special treats, no sweet talk or pats... just into the crate and then go about your business. Have exactly the same attitude and routine when leaving the house and when arriving back home... merely open the crate, say 'hello' calmly and don't pay any special attention to Bailey until she is in a 'low energy' state... like laying down calmly for several minutes.


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

telsmith1 said:


> We are expecting a litter at the end of March, hint hint hint!


Please tell me more... my wife has finally come around to what I've been wanting all along... having two dogs. She wants another Golden, which is fine by me (though any breed of dog will work 'cause I just like dogs), but the timing is absolutely critical here. We have certain 'requirements' we'd like to see in the new pup but timing is just so important... May would be the ideal! So we are now starting our search in earnest. I 'clicked' on your website but it is down... so I'll try again in a day or two.


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

monomer said:


> Just right off the top of my head, without seeking any further info, I am going to suggest getting Bailey a lot more exercise, EVERY SINGLE DAY... as the beneficial effects of exercise is cumulative, it is best to achieve this in 2 or 3 exercise outings (40-minutes to an hour or so sessions) per day. In addition, I would suggest putting Bailey into the crate a couple of times a day when you are doing your chores or whatever you normally do around the house. No fuss, no special treats, no sweet talk or pats... just into the crate and then go about your business. Have exactly the same attitude and routine when leaving the house and when arriving back home... merely open the crate, say 'hello' calmly and don't pay any special attention to Bailey until she is in a 'low energy' state... like laying down calmly for several minutes.


Bailey and I walk for about 3 miles every day, but it is only in one session. I can try more. I will try putting him in the crate more often during the day. We do the no fuss when we return and don't let him out of the crate until he settles down (which he does when we return).


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## Bailey & Bentley (Feb 25, 2007)

My Bailey is 9 months as well. Unfortunatley I did not have any luck with the crate with him at all so I cannot offer you much advice on that. We ended up just getting baby gates and kept him the in the kitchen. He did fine. But you issue is seperation anxiety. How long are you gone when you leave?


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

Bailey & Bentley said:


> How long are you gone when you leave?


Most of the time it is for errands (grocery shopping and stuff) so usually about 2 hours. Sometimes it is for a night out with hubby (3 or more hours).


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## Bailey & Bentley (Feb 25, 2007)

Baileysmom said:


> Most of the time it is for errands (grocery shopping and stuff) so usually about 2 hours. Sometimes it is for a night out with hubby (3 or more hours).


Boy that is a tough one. I agree with the others and say to try another dog. But that is also a big leap to take if you are not ready for one or really don't want one. I am adding another to our family in hopes of good company for Bailey as well. But, usually we are out of the house for at least 6 hours a day to work. I don't really know what to say. I hope you find an answer from someone here.


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## monomer (Apr 21, 2005)

While looking up a book for another forum member dealing with fear, I came across a section on Separation Anxiety in the book entitled The Dog's Mind... here is a short exerpt...

"Separation anxiety is caused by separation from you, the leader of the pack. It isn't the same as boredom. This means that getting a pet for your pet won't work. Pets for your pets only works if dogs are genuinely bored."

Anyway, its just something to think about.


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## FlyingQuizini (Oct 24, 2006)

monomer said:


> While looking up a book for another forum member dealing with fear, I came across a section on Separation Anxiety in the book entitled The Dog's Mind... here is a short exerpt...
> 
> "Separation anxiety is caused by separation from you, the leader of the pack. It isn't the same as boredom. This means that getting a pet for your pet won't work. Pets for your pets only works if dogs are genuinely bored."
> 
> Anyway, its just something to think about.


Mon is exactly right. True, clinical SA involves the dogs inability to cope with the absence of his key attachment figure. Another dog won't fix SA. True, clinical SA is also much rarer than people think. Oftentimes, what people mistake for SA is actually just a case of the dog not having learned how to be by himself. When that's the case, a second dog can help the symptons although I always advise against it b/c you're just putting off teaching the important lesson of "it's okay to be alone" and at some point, life WILL throw you a curve ball where the dogs still has to be alone -- say, the dog buddy has to spend the night at the vet, etc.

Best to treat the problem, not just mitigate the symptoms.

Start with physical separation. Have the dog spend time in the crate when you're home - in the same room even. If he can't handle that, start smaller -- i.e, the dog is tethered six feet from you in the same room. The idea is that you get the dog used the fact that YOU are putting some space between you and the dog vs. the dog choosing to do it himself. Work up to crating the dog when you're home - in the same room, then when you're in a different room, etc.

Make all the wonderful stuff happen in the crate - meals, etc. It's a good sign that he's eating the KONG when you're gone. If he's eating, he's not completely shut down by stress. Try making the KONG stuffing take longer to get out. Prepare in advance and freeze it.

Also, don't EVER let him out when he's barking/whining, etc.

You can also try using an X-pen vs. a crate and see if that makes any difference. Or put up a baby gate in the kitchen or laundry room and teach him to be alone in there.

Dogs come to us genetically programed to have a strong desire to be with the pack. Being alone doesn't come natural for them. That's why it's one of the very first things I teach a young puppy.

Keep us posted... and do strongly consider fixing the problem before you decide to just treat the symptom via a second dog.

-Stephanie


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

Thanks for the great input Monomer and Stephanie. I do think that this is partially my fault. We got Bailey three weeks after we lost our first golden to cancer and I was a slacker when it came to putting Bailey in the crate when he was a small puppy (except at night or when we went out). He has been such a good puppy that he hasn't chewed much and always stayed at my side (never even needed to be tethered). Down deep I knew that when he was sleeping he should have been put in the crate, but he just stayed by my side and aways followed me around. Now I am paying for it! :doh: We left him, however, for longer periods of time when he was little because we were going to the college football games (I had someone come in and let him out and feed him every three hours when we were gone). He did really well then and didn't seem fazed. The attachment has obviously grown. Sons are in college, hubby works long hours and travels and most times it's just Bailey and me.

I only let him out of the crate when he is quiet and laying down. He definitely is attached and when I "shut" him out of my bedroom over the weekend so I could shower, he cried (just a little) and waited for me outside the door instead of staying downstairs with dh. 

I will try more crate time (he doesn't or get upset when I am in the room and isn't too upset when I am in the house, only when I leave) because I do think that will help. What do you think of having the crate not in our bedroom at night?


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## mblondetoo (Jan 9, 2006)

I'm still sifting through the site today. There is so much to read!

When we only had Tabitha we had trouble wearing her out. Walks and throwing the ball just weren't enough. It was hard on her locking her in the crate with nothing to do but there are times she just couldn't go with us. We knew she needed doggy time but there are no friendly dogs out here in the boonies. We decided to try out doggy daycare. It's not perfect but we could take her with us on the way to go shopping and pick her up all nice and tired on the way back. It really seemed to help her. (There is one in Mt. Carmel)

I know you don't want to hear this but Magic was the best thing in the world for Tabitha! She has a buddy to wear her out and a buddy for her time alone.


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

mblondetoo said:


> I'm still sifting through the site today. There is so much to read!
> 
> When we only had Tabitha we had trouble wearing her out. Walks and throwing the ball just weren't enough. It was hard on her locking her in the crate with nothing to do but there are times she just couldn't go with us. We knew she needed doggy time but there are no friendly dogs out here in the boonies. We decided to try out doggy daycare. It's not perfect but we could take her with us on the way to go shopping and pick her up all nice and tired on the way back. It really seemed to help her. (There is one in Mt. Carmel)
> 
> I know you don't want to hear this but Magic was the best thing in the world for Tabitha! She has a buddy to wear her out and a buddy for her time alone.


Thanks for the input. There is a doggie day care near me (on Clough Pike) and I actually take Bailey there for obedience. I talked to them about having him try it out. He spent about 2 hours in his crate (while I was home today). I didn't have to leave him home alone today, however..... I'll try almost anything


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## jeffreyzone (Feb 8, 2006)

This is an interesting thread. I agree that another dog won't necessarily help Bailey, and that you should try to resolve his issue before bringing in another dog.

We had a foster dog who exhibited separation anxiety. He was happy to be in his crate while I was in the room. But from day one, he totally freaked (bloody paws, explosive diarrhea, the works) when he was left in the crate, even with Dottie and Barrington crated right beside him. We consulted a trusted trainer, a behaviorist, and an animal communicator, and we just could not come up with a solution that worked, other than taking him to a closely supervised doggie daycare every day. The trainer who ran the daycare told me that although the dog had free run of a large area and several good dogs with whom to play, he simply laid in one place and watched the door all day, waiting for me to come back.

His story? His first experience with a human was at the hands of a young single man who would leave the dog crated in a garage for days on end. The poor Golden mix had a real abandonment issue that he just could not shake. I agree with Stephanie when she says that these awful cases are rare. Thank goodness! And I pray that Bailey is not suffering from true SA.

Here is a much more simple success story: When Dottie came to live with us, she began to weird-out after about three months as an only dog. After watching her interact with my sister-in-law's dog (the infamous, pie-eating Webster), we decided to adopt another dog, and that worked out great. Dottie truly needs another dog. But that may not be the case with Bailey.

I would increase Bailey's exercise as Monomer suggested and follow Stephanie's guidelines. I'd double or even triple what he is doing now, and I'd mix it up with frisbee, retrieving games, and flat-out running. Maybe you can set up some simple jumps for Bailey.

We still do this regularly with Dottie and Barrington; when we know that we'll be away from the house for several hours, we run them extra-hard.

And perhaps you can ease into leaving Bailey alone in the house, crated, for just two or three minutes. If he's barking and raising cane when you come back in, be sure to do as Monomer and Stephanie suggested and wait until he is calm before letting him out. Gradually work up to longer times.

One thing that we always do is make sure to stay very calm and nonchalant when we get home and release the dogs. It's not a big party until Dottie goes and gets the paper, or the foster dog properly handles elimination outside, or Barrington completes an almost-successful squirrel chase...or some other similar milestone. 

Good luck. I feel your pain in dealing with this issue. Please keep us posted. Maybe we can come up with other ideas as you go forward with Bailey.


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## Baileysmom (Aug 5, 2006)

I am trying to nip this before it turns into full blown SA. He doesn't hurt himself (yet). 

I had him stay in the crate twice yesterday when I was home. Once he was alone in the room while I cleaned the bathroom and the other time he was with me as is surfed the internet. He also had two exercise sessions yesterday, chasing the frisbee and our regular 2-3 mile walk. He did great when I was in the room, but whined when I cleaned the bathroom. 

Today I left for 1 1/2 hours to go to the health club and run errands. I left him in the crate (in the room by my computer) with a kong and a filled bone. I am happy to report that he definitely wasn't as stressed out as usual when I returned. I even waited until all the groceries were put away before letting him out of the crate. The kong was frozen and I am assuming that it took him a lot longer to get through it. Right now he is in the crate as I visit one of my favorite places on the internet. I am happy for small successes.


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## jeffreyzone (Feb 8, 2006)

Awesome! You are making nice progress with Bailey! Each small success adds up! 

Thanks for the update.


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## Taz Monkey (Feb 25, 2007)

Glad to hear that he was better today. I did a few things that really helped with my first dogs SA. I would get ready in the morning, even if I had no plans to go anywhere. I would do everything as I always did, grab my keys, purse, put her in her crate and gave her a treat and walked out the door. I would even pull my car out of the garage because I knew she could hear the door going up. I'd drive around the block then come home, no huge greetings, I would let her out to go potty and then I would say hi and pet her. I kept doing this and upping the time I was gone. Eventually, I could be gone for a few hours and she would be fine (we videotaped too). She now has absolutely no problem with me going anywhere. I can go to work for 8 hours and she is fine. Good luck!


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