# How do I talk my dh into letting us foster?



## dogluver04 (Jul 5, 2008)

You sound like me.. lol I keep throwing the idea out there about fostering.. The local humane society here burnt down and they are still taking animals while the build a new building, but they are placing them in other shelters cause they have no where to put them. They need foster homes badly! My dh is feeling the same way! He thinks I wont be able to give it back. Ill fall in love.. lol not to mention all the extra work involved!!


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## heartofgold (Oct 27, 2007)

I have fostered a few dogs over the past two years. Our first foster was a total disaster and after that I had a very hard time talking DH into getting another one. He is not worried about not wanting to give them up he's more worried about what they will do to his house, carpet, kids, ect. 

Our first foster was a five year old lab/pit mix. The rescue we worked with said she was an angel, the best dog ever, and she would be a perfect match for our family. At the time our GR puppy Scout was only six months old. We didn't have the dog home for four hours when she tried to bite Scouts face off over a small stick Scout found in the yard. She didn't require stitches but had a gaping wound on her face for weeks that left a 1/2 scar. I can't imagine if it would have been a kid. We took her back immediately and didn't work for them again.

We ended up finding a more reputable rescue and fostered a two month old greyhound greatdane or lab mix. She was an angel and pretty easy to train. Honestly, if she didn't eat $60 worth of food a month we would have kept her. We had her for about two months or so. We have fostered a few more dogs sense then for shorter periods but I do miss Holley to this day. 

You never know what you're going to get with a foster and it's scary especiall if you have kids. That's why it's so hard talking DH into it. I just have to remind him of Holley and that there are so many like her out there that need saved. We just agree on puppies only for now because we have kids in the house. When our boys are older we will take in adults. I would rather take in the adults (much less work) but we have to compramise.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I am curious on what answers this post will get.

We are in the process of looking for a house with acreage so we can have a hobby farm. My kids (and I) want to get involved in rescue, so I told them when we are settled, we will see what we can do.

I know there is a great need for fostering, my husband is a big animal lover, but tends to be pessimistic of things too. At the same time, if my husband actually saw an animal in need in person - I know he would be the first one to bring that animal home!


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## MyGoldenCharlie (Dec 4, 2007)

Tell hubby that his fear of finding a dog "ripped up and dead" can be solved very easily with a crate or two. Baby gates come in handy also.
Preparing the house for a new dog ahead of time is important too, no high value toys or bones in reach. Planning to feed in separate areas or in crates. I always leash walk my fosters alone for the first couple of days too. 

There is more work, no doubt about it, but it all becomes a routine and you just adapt.

I can't tell you what to say to dh to convince him to say yes to fostering, except to say that fostering is a temporary home , a foster family is a stepping stone for these dogs, on to bigger & better things and you need to go into it with that mindset. 

There are some that tug at your heart more than others. When you meet potential adopters and see what a wonderful home and life they are offering to your foster, it makes it easier to see them go to their forever home.

My hubby wants to keep them all, but when he sees the happiness on the faces of the adopting family, he knows it was the right thing to do. We keep in touch with all of our fosters' new families and when you see the life that they have, you know in your heart that you did the right thing. It's like they hit the "dog lottery"!!

I approach fostering like a job, a mission to complete, and finding the perfect match for a foster is a really wonderful feeling. 
When you have a foster for a couple of weeks and they begin to settle in to your routine and their personality begins to show, you can begin to think to yourself that they would be fine just staying here. But then we have a reality check and we tell ourselves that it isn't being fair to the dog. There are families out there wanting to adopt that can offer more than we can, it would be selfish of us to deny them that.

Work with your intake coordinator to find the right dog to be your "test" and then go from there.


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Beth,
My husband was like yours and then one day he said yes. With him being out of a job, he said since I am not pushing him or nagging him, it is the least he could do. He fell in love with Daisy and wanted to stay here as she was our first foster and just loves him. After Dakota/Sadie came here and got adopted fast and he got to be involved in the adoption, he said the good feelings and happiness he saw with the new family, made it worthwhile. 
I think the big difference is being involved with a responsible rescue that takes into account your household and current pets. My rescue wont put a dog that doesnt like cats or if they dont like dogs, into a home with other dogs or cats. They have different homes for the different needs of the dogs. 
Maybe if you ask him to compromise and do one foster and see how it goes. If it doesnt work out, you can still do your part in other ways with the rescue. And if it does work out, you can do it again. The part you have been doing with the rescue is just as important.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I used to foster for GRRIN and don't anymore because Gunner doesn't like dogs he doesn't know. Even if Gunner wasn't the problem, DH wouldn't want me to foster anymore. It is alot of work. I don't mean to sound negative as we need lots more foster homes. 
But realistically, a foster dog is usually not house broken, never been inside a house, sometimes is afraid of people, floors, stairs, etc. Even when the rescue assessess the dog before we take it into rescue , we can't know all the info about the dog and unfortunately, many people who surrender aren't honest about the dog's history. Of course, due to the economy, there are many goldens who have been raised by a loving family now coming into rescue.

You also don't know how long the dog you foster will be with you. With GRRIN, if you foster a senior, you may as well expect to have that dog for the rest of it's life. Seniors rarely get adopted around here. Right now, we have many more applicants than we do dogs as almost everyone wants a younger golden.

I too was afraid I would want to keep every dog. WRONG! I cared about the goldens I fostered but the four years I fostered, I didn't ever fall in love with one of the dogs like my own. I was so happy they found their forever home though!

If you don't foster, you still can do home visits, assessments, lead trainings for volunteers, be a case manager of fosters, etc. SO many ways to help.

Thank you for being involved in rescue!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Foster*

I have been trying to talk Ken into fostering for probably 20 years-it hasn't worked.
I have pretty much given up.

Honestly, it breaks my heart that I can't, but I also know that if we did, chances are VERY GREAT we would end up adopting our foster.

So I just keep emlg. rescues and trying to send donations to find dogs in High Kill shelters the way to a very happy and loving home.


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

Maybe you can see if you can temp foster for a full time foster who is on vacation? That way it's not really "your" foster. Start with a weekend and see how it goes. Baby steps to start and maybe he will see it's not that disruptive.

I think you need to go into it with the mindset that you aren't going to keep your fosters. I think of it this way, I love my fosters and treat them the same as I do my dogs, but I never, ever allow myself to bond with them while they are fosters. I was in the place mentally and financially to adopt when Jasper came in (foster #20) and let myself fall in love and bond right away. With Danny, he had been with us for 6 months and I was starting to realize that I was falling for him, so I adopted him and promptly fell head over heels for him! LOL

Yes, a foster can change your normal routine, but we are so used to it that it's just second nature for us now. We do puppies because we know they will be adopted quickly, most foster homes don't want to go through puppyhood and we have cats, so we have to be careful about which dogs we foster.

You can try different types of fosters. We started with males, then went to the seniors (male or female), then went to young females that were HW+ to the puppies that we have been fostering for the last 3 1/2 years.

Maybe it's because I am with a fantastic group, fostering has always been a positive experience. If for some reason a foster doesn't work out (I have had two that were cat aggressive), there is another foster home to move them to. But like I said, we have a whole routine down from where the crates are set up to how much freedom they get, to whether they have to sleep in the bed with us for a period of time before crating them at night to where to feed them to which signs to look for when housetraining.

It is extremely rewarding. I always say that I foster because I am selfish and love the feeling I get when they go to their new homes.


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

fostermom said:


> Maybe you can see if you can temp foster for a full time foster who is on vacation? That way it's not really "your" foster. Start with a weekend and see how it goes. Baby steps to start and maybe he will see it's not that disruptive.
> 
> 
> 
> You can try different types of fosters. We started with males, then went to the seniors (male or female), then went to young females that were HW+ to the puppies that we have been fostering for the last 3 1/2 years.


Beth the above are good suggestions from Fostermom that you could try at first. You could also even add "owner surrenders Goldens" to that list. These may come with more history and your husband may feel comfortable with so things might go smoothly, then work your way to other dogs that nothing is known about.


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