# Disappointed in my Rescue



## DebHow

I feel guilty even posting this on here - and I may not be posting it in the right section - but I am very disappointed in the "golden" we got from a rescue.

I didn't save the online ad, but I was thinking it said he was a purebred. Even being a mix wasn't a big deal, though, because our last golden was a mixed Golden/Lab, but the vets all thought he was pure Golden he was so dead on.

Well, I got him from a different state. Didn't have to pay anything for him. once I got him home we started noticing lots of HOUND in him. It turns out we see very little golden in him. Not the personality, not the look (they had shaved him after he was rescued and we thought his fur just hadn't grown all back in yet, but it's been 3 mos and it's still shorter and no bushy tail.) His ears and some of his face look like a Golden and that's it. We are in agreement he is mostly hound and I never would have chosen a hound.

He has baggage. Seizures, some other odd things that are similar to hounds. Super long legs and he sits and sleeps like a contortionist. No eye contact and doesn't want you near his head to hug or kiss him. (We've had him just over a month.) He drools like a Saint Bernard all of the time, which is very nasty. He howls often like a blood hound and has slightly droopy eyes like one.

My husband and I are at cross hairs because I don't want to keep him. I wanted another golden because I was missing our old one so much. Missing that golden personality. This dog doesn't have it! My husband says "Oh, he's been through so much, we can't uproot him again!" and wants to keep him.

I realize when we take on a dog, we are making a commitment, but I still am wishing we could find this one another home and look for a golden that's a golden!!! We can't afford a purebred, but there are lots of mixed out there that are wonderful. Can't be a puppy. We had Rico (last Golden) from 7 wks until he died of cancer at 11 but my health has me limited now.

I won't be getting one from another state again. I need to see it and be around it and know it better before we commit. Maybe we will compromise and save up for another Golden/mix and keep this one, too.

Your thoughts?


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## SheetsSM

If you truly aren't happy with him, then please by all means return him to his rescue so he can be placed in a home that a good fit for him and he a good fit for his family. 

A lot of the behavior you're describing while not seeming very golden like could very well be attributed to his life pre-rescue. While you may think that after a month, he should be comfortable with you & settled in, some rescues take a long time to fully feel settled in regardless of their breed & regardless of how much care, attention & love you show him. My girl will be turning 10, she came into rescue at the age of 3 & it took 2 years before she felt secure enough where she didn't need to live under my bed or the walk-in closet. She was returned from her first adoption after the 30-day trial period as she too wasn't ready to be the dog her adoptive family wanted her to be & needed her to be. We were able to find a better match for that family--no fault of either the family or Tiffany as to why it didn't work, it just wasn't a good match & I'm thankful everyday that family was able to realize it & returned her to rescue.

As for appearance, do you have any pics? He could very well be a "pure" GR but the BYBs aren't breeding to standard so the of their dogs can be all over the place, but purebred nonetheless.

Best of luck in your decision. Any chance you looked into attending a formal obedience class w/ him? A great opportunity to bond & learn to effectively communicate w/ each other.


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## KathyL

I completely agree with the above poster. You should contact the rescue you obtained this dog from and see if you are able to return the dog so he may be placed in a home that's a better match.


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## cubbysan

I believe one of the foundation dogs in creating the golden retriever was a hound to get some of the hound instincts that goldens do have.

One of my rescues ( she was a german shepherd that we rescued directly from her neglectful family at about a year old ) took one year to settle in. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it. She too was a seizure dog. 

Please post some pictures so if we can see how much golden your dog is.


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## Megora

I think maybe your husband might be right on as far as giving this dog more time - and not shuffling him back to where he came from, especially if he came from a questionable place. 

Consider this a true rescue. 

About there being hound in him - it's not the worst thing. It probably makes a lot of sense for most mixed breeds to have either lab or hound or husky in them since those are runner-breeds. 

Him shying away from contact (eye or physical) can be probably related to what he's been through. It might take months or even a year - but you can probably help him get over this and settle in. 

There might still be a golden retriever out there for you... no reason why you couldn't keep both dogs?


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## cubbysan

One thing about a rescue, once you have that bond with them and they feel safe, you can really tell how much they appreciate their home and their owners. It is really hard to explain, but I was always able to tell that she did not take the good life for granted.


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## Cpc1972

My sisters dog is a hound mix. He is really sweet. I think you should keep him. Once he is really settled you could look into rescuing a golden also. Where I live we just had three golden mix puppies go into a all breed rescue. They are adorable. Get this dog settled and maybe you can find something like that in the future. I think you will grow to love this dog so much. It won't matter what breed he is. He has been through a lot and to send him back to rescue would make him more confused. Give him a chance.


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## Harleysmum

I have just checked out the pictures you have of Rusty in your profile. He is Gorgeous. He looks pure bred to me although he may, of course, be a mix. 
Anyway there is a lot of golden there. I hope he finds a good home if you decide not to keep him. He deserves a home that can give him what he needs so that he can flourish and be the dog he was meant to be.


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## Cpc1972

That is a golden. I think he just needs to get comfy.


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## kwhit

I agree with both of the above posters...definitely mostly Golden, if not all Golden. He's beautiful...


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## cubbysan

I also just looked at your profile pictures. Rusty is definitely mostly golden if not 100 percent golden. Also read about the two threads with him pawing for attention and climbing on your lap for affection, again two very prominent golden traits especially for a male.


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## Cpc1972

cubbysan said:


> I also just looked at your profile pictures. Rusty is definitely mostly golden if not 100 percent golden. Also read about the two threads with him pawing for attention and climbing on your lap for affection, again two very prominent golden traits especially for a male.


Chloe is a female and paws for attention all the time. She will paw at you if she has her ball wants to play. She does it to the kids which we try to not let her do.


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## Coco's Mom

Rusty looks like a purebred Golden to me. Please give him a chance to settle in, you only have him for a month. However if you are truly unhappy with him, please return him back to the rescue. He is only 3 years old and he should be placed in a home that truly appreciate him.


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## 4goldengirls

I too looked at the profile photos and agree he's all golden or at least mostly all golden. Some goldens are taller, leggier and of thinner build then others. If he came from a byb or a pet store he will more then likely look a bit different. From these photos I don't see the drooping of the eyes. His aloofness is probably caused by his new living situation along with his life prior to coming into your home. 

My young girl was purchased at a puppy store by a family that decided they didn't want to keep her at six months of age. She's tall and lean without the long flowing fur. Her head is narrow, but she does have some nice feathering. She's 2+ years old and at this point, I don't think she'll ever have the long and flowing coat that my others have.

She was a work in progress and has blossomed into the sweetest girl that fits in nicely with our other two goldens. She is a much beloved member of our family.

As others have mentioned, give him time and he'll come around. Try doing things with him that will increase the bond. Training classes are great for that - you become a team and he learns to trust and believe in you. If you truly don't want him then as sad as it is, perhaps he should be returned. Hopefully you'll have a change of heart.


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## CAROLINA MOM

Rusty is beautiful, he looks a lot like my Remy. The things you've said about him, his long legs, drooling, pawing at you for attention, climbing up in your lap sounds just like my boy. If you don't want him on your lap or pawing at you, you can correct this through training. 

Although he's been with your for a while it still may take him time to get use to your schedule and lifestyle. He could also be picking up on the fact that he's not wanted, it also sounds like you are comparing him to your previous Golden which is unfair to him. Each dog is very special and unique in their own way, you can't replace one with another. Rusty not making eye contact with you is not that unusual really, it took months before my Rescue girl made eye contact with us. She had been abused and not socialized before we got her. She'll stare a hole in you know.........

I'm sorry you're so disappointed with him, he's beautiful, I'd take him in a heartbeat. 
If you're still so unhappy with him, by all means contact the Rescue Group so they can rehome him. 

I apologize for my bluntness, but it's not fair to you or him to be in a home where he's not wanted.


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## ceegee

I really feel for you - this is a tough situation. I've rescued a couple of dogs in the past, and was a long-time volunteer at the adoption desk of a downtown SPCA when we lived in the city. One of the things I learned from this is that, for the majority of people, if you're going to rescue an adult dog, you need to love him or her from the very start. It's a process that begins when you first meet the dog. Some people are able to commit to the process rather than to the individual dog, and would love any dog they rescued, but they're in a minority. Most need to feel a connection with the particular animal they're rescuing, so they can deal with the issues that are almost bound to emerge. I classify myself in this latter group, so I can appreciate where you're coming from. Adopting an adult dog just isn't the same as getting a puppy.

To take a rescue from out of state, without meeting the dog first, is a brave thing to do. I have a friend in the agility community here who did precisely that, last July. She'd been looking for a particular type of mix for a while, and came across one from out of state. She spoke at length to the rescue people, and eventually took the dog sight unseen. Although she had been assured extensively of his temperament, he showed some aggressive tendencies right from the outset. She nevertheless persevered, got him into training, addressed the issues, did all the right things. In early October the dog attacked her husband one night, when he came home from a late shift at work. They still persevered: training, socialization, good experiences with humans (he's fine with other dogs). The dog still doesn't like her husband, and snaps randomly at people who try to feed him treats. Two weeks ago he almost broke a glass door, trying to attack a visiting child.

They have decided they can't keep him. They have tried several times over the last few months to contact the rescue people, but emails go unanswered and phone calls are cut off, if they are answered at all. Their options at this point are very limited because the local rescues will not take an aggressive dog. This couple is highly experienced with dogs; they already have two, are lifelong dog owners, and have been very active in agility for many years.

This is an extreme case, but it does illustrate the pitfalls of out-of-state rescuing. Honestly, in your own case, if you - or anyone - in the household doesn't like your dog, I'd recommend that you rehome him. Rescues need to be loved in order to flourish. The current situation isn't your fault, and it isn't his either. He just needs something you're not able to give, and the kindest thing to do would be to allow him the chance to try again with someone else.

I always applaud the rescues who insist that potential adopters must meet the dog they want to adopt before committing to it, and even better, who insist on a trial placement before signing ownership over to the adopter. That chemistry between adult rescue dog and human is so important, and the majority of ordinary people - me included - would need to feel a connection before committing, regardless of whether the dog has "issues" or not.

This is a tough decision for you, and I wish you good luck, whatever you decide.


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## rabernet

I also looked at your profile pictures, and I see all golden, no hound from the pictures. 

It sounds from your initial post that you are unhappy with his personality and are attributing it to the hound you think you see in him. 

If you aren't able to connect with him, please return him to the rescue, so that he can be placed with a home that's a better fit. Though you say you got him for free, so was it a regular rescue? I see you are in GA, maybe you can surrender him to Adopt A Golden Atlanta?


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## Charliethree

I have to agree with your hubby on this about giving it more time. A month is not really long enough for a rehomed dog to truly settle in, and learn to trust that their new life is even 'for real'. As for the 'short hair', you mentioned that he had been shaved by the rescue, my golden was shaved for a surgery and it took a very long time for that fur to grow back to it's original length, so I wouldn't suggest he is not a golden because of that.
'Eye contact' with people is learned, in the dog world direct eye contact is perceived as 'confrontational' a threat. We teach our dogs to make eye contact with us, through helping them create a positive association with it. A dog that avoids 'eye contact' with people is not being evasive, he is be 'safe', speaking in 'dog' saying he is not a threat and does not yet trust enough that 'you' are not a threat, that will come with patience, and time.

Four years ago, I took in a dog sight unseen, from a distance away, to foster, with no intention of adopting him. To be honest, I didn't 'like' him much at all to begin with, he was high energy, 'out of control' and yes, he had some 'baggage'. Over time as I got to know him, learn 'who he was', opened my mind and heart to his huge heart and was able to 'see' how much love he had to give, I grew to love him, and I cannot imagine my life without him in it. He is very much my hubby's dog, a man who didn't want 'this' dog to begin with, but he was willing to give it some time, they formed a strong bond, a partnership, a 'connection' that words cannot describe. There was no 'instant' connection with this dog, no 'heart speak' saying this is the dog for 'me', in time, the truth won out and truly, no regrets, no looking back wishing things were different, neither of us can imagine how our lives would be without him, he is simply amazing. 

Sometimes these things just take time, and perhaps, even if Rusty is not 'the one' for you, not the dog you imagined he would be, perhaps he is 'the one' for your hubby and they deserve that chance to turn 'hope' into a reality?


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## DebHow

Thanks for all of your input. I guess I need to give him time. I'm also wondering if it's more of a problem with ME than him. We were so in love with Rico and I wonder if I was expecting this dog to be just like him, which isn't fair to him.

I am uploading more pictures of Rusty into my album. Not sure how to make them all right side up, tho!!


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## Cpc1972

DebHow said:


> Thanks for all of your input. I guess I need to give him time. I'm also wondering if it's more of a problem with ME than him. We were so in love with Rico and I wonder if I was expecting this dog to be just like him, which isn't fair to him.
> 
> I am uploading more pictures of Rusty into my album. Not sure how to make them all right side up, tho!!


I think you may have answered your question right here.


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## fostermom

My oldest golden is 10 years old and he doesn't make eye contact either. He is very submissive and very respectful of people, so he doesn't stare at them or look them in the eye. He is also my best "dog reader" out of all my dogs.

Your boy looks all golden to me. Maybe your expectations were too high. Maybe you weren't ready for another dog yet. I don't know what the issue is, but you have only had this boy for a month. Not everyone bonds with their dogs as quickly as others. I think if you give it time, you'll start to soften your heart to him and let him in. He needs to be able to trust you and dogs can sense your emotions, so if you are feeling irritation at him or dislike for him because he's not what you thought you were getting, he can feel it. Are you physically able to take him to a training class? That would allow the two of you to bond.


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## GoldenCamper

He's a handsome Golden. I'm on my 3rd rescue Goldie and have met many other rescue dogs. None of them are ever the same as previous dog anyone once had. In time you will find similarities of Rico in him I bet. Some rescue dogs take a long time to blossom, hang in there.


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## rabernet

DebHow said:


> Thanks for all of your input. I guess I need to give him time. I'm also wondering if it's more of a problem with ME than him. We were so in love with Rico and I wonder if I was expecting this dog to be just like him, which isn't fair to him.
> 
> I am uploading more pictures of Rusty into my album. Not sure how to make them all right side up, tho!!


No - it really isn't fair to him to be compared to Rico. Maybe it would help if you start to really pay attention to things about him that you love about him. Just mental notes like "I love that he just made me laugh out loud at that goofy thing he just did, and put a smile on my face", etc. The more you re-frame how you think of him, paying more attention to the positives than the negatives, that would help?


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## jennretz

Wow, Rusty sure looks Golden to me. Rescues take time and patience. He's been through a lot and you may not "see" the dog you want for quite awhile (sometimes a couple of years). Dogs with anxiety are not easy, but they are so appreciative once they feel safe. It takes a lot of work, patience and love. It's not for everybody and there's no judgement if you decide that it's not right for you. He's quite handsome and I wish you luck with your decision. 

You'll find a wealth of knowledge in other threads of people who have been in your shoes. When I adopted my anxious rescue boy almost 2 years ago, I was overwhelmed with the amount of work I was going to have to invest in him and I had second thoughts a couple of times. But I never wanted to give up on him. He's come so far now that it amazes me to think back to the beginning.

One of the other posters mentioned finding something about him that you can appreciate. No dog can ever replace another, but I'm firmly convinced of our ability and capacity to love more than one dog


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## Cpc1972

Those new pictures are beautiful. Look at that sweet face. He defiantly looks all golden.


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## KathyL

DebHow, I also think you might have answered your question and that's a good start. I was thinking the same thing and wondered how long it has been since your previous golden, Rico, has been gone. I remember when my first golden died. I loved him so much I wanted a golden just like him, exact same color. I went to look at a litter and was trying to imagine what they would grow up to look like and the breeder must have guessed this and he told me to select a darker golden because otherwise I would expect the pup to be exactly the same as Casper. I would set up the dog and myself to fail. He was right. Every dog is different and I ended up loving each one for who they were. Maybe you needed more time before you got another dog. I truly hope things work out for you and Rusty. He really is beautiful and he needs to be loved. I actually had to laugh about the nudging and drooling because I miss that!!


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## mylissyk

I see a pure bred Golden in your pictures. Rusty is beautiful! If he was shaved previously, 3 months is not long enough for his full coat to grow back in. It will take up to a year for it to be back to the full thickness and length it should be. 

I love the suggestion someone else made about focusing on the things you like about him. Give him time, your relationship is still very new. I bet in 6 months you won't be able to remember what it was like without him in your home. Invest in spending time training, playing and loving on him, he will be come that companion you are looking for.


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## Karen519

*Handsome*



GoldenCamper said:


> He's a handsome Golden. I'm on my 3rd rescue Goldie and have met many other rescue dogs. None of them are ever the same as previous dog anyone once had. In time you will find similarities of Rico in him I bet. Some rescue dogs take a long time to blossom, hang in there.


I think Rusty is VERY HANDSOME and sure looks Golden Retriever to me! I agree with Golden Camper that I've had many dogs, mostly rescues, and they are never the same. Each dog is very lovable and has their own very special qualities!!


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## Rookie's Dad

Look's like a GR to me also, I don't see the hound myself, but a GR head for sure. When we got our rescue, Nikki, she didn't look much like Rookie, and I kinda wondered about it, but there are many different "looks" with GR's, so in the end it doesn't matter. She is a very happy girl, a big part of our family and we love her a lot.


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## Altairss

Rusty looks to be more along the line of what people around her call the hunting style. Shorter coat longer legs leaner head but he looks all golden to me as well. He looks like my Boots did when we got him It was years before he got any coat to speak of. But boy was it easy care. Boots was a year when we got him and had every bad habit you could think of except he was housebroken. I thought this is nuts why did we get this dog what was I thinking. 

I had just lost my own dog and I really at first did not want to bond with him. He was to be my sons dog and he bonded quickly to him and my husband But go figure by the time we lost him to cancer 7 years later his biggest bond was with me and somehow when I was not looking he became a big part of me.

Rescues especially older one dogs need a bit of time to settle in and figure things out and sometimes after our own heartbreaking losses we need that time too. Give him that time you won't love him the same but you will find it in you to love him just differently. I would have lost out so much if I had not given Boots that time. He made me more then I was and I laugh now when I think back to those early days.


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