# Proper Waitlist Etiquette



## Kmullen (Feb 17, 2010)

Absolutely. Just as soon as you find out something from either litter, let the other breeder know. 

I had people on my waiting list for my next litter for about 6 months now and I have had 2 contact me and tell me they found another litter closer to the time frame they were hoping. I completely understand!


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## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

I was on three wait lists at the same time. Then I happened upon a litter where someone had just dropped off the list and had one boy left. As soon as I decided to go with him....I called the other breeders whose waitlists I was on. They all thanked me. A couple asked who I went with and gave me their opinions on the breeder I chose, and invited me to keep in touch if I ever had any questions in the future. No one was in the least offended!


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

Agreed. I am on several waitlists now because I want a male and the first list I got on had several people ahead of me waiting for a male as well. You never know what a litter is going to produce so I figure I may end up going through several litters before getting the pup I want. Just let breeders know promptly when you've found something so they can take you off their list. Good luck!


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Agreed. Let the person handling the waitlist know that you are on other waitlists, and then let them know if you have chosen another litter and wish to be removed from their waitlist.

This is completely acceptable  Good luck.


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## rangerspouse (Jun 27, 2011)

Perfect! Thank you for all the advice!


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## CarolinaCasey (Jun 1, 2007)

I think you've received great advice. I think just making both breeders aware is the prudent thing to do. 

If puppies are available from both litters, all things equal- choose the breeder that you connect with as they "come" with te dog for the next 12 years. 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## rangerspouse (Jun 27, 2011)

An update on the situation....I have let the two breeders know I was on a waiting list from the other and it seems I may have offended one, if not both of them. That certainly was NOT my intentions. In giving full disclosure, I fear I may not be considered for either litter. 

Who knew finding a pup was this difficult? Ugh......


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## Lilliam (Apr 28, 2010)

A reputable breeder will take a retainer that she will return if there is no puppy of the sex you want available. That retainer will hold the puppy.

The second breeder should understand and should also have a retainer. If you are willing to forfeit that retainer at your discretion because the first puppy is available, then your spot goes to the person further down on the list and she keeps the retainer.

There is no reason to be upset. It sounds like ego issues.

Max's breeder lets it be known that the retainer holds a spot if the puppy is available. If I had backed out I would have lost the money and my spot would have gone to the next person. It's all spelled out clearly. I understood it all.

Reputable breeders spend a lot of time and effort in these puppies and they need to be secure that they don't get people backing out at the last minute. It's the only fair thing to do for everyone.

So sorry there was an issue. It's heartbreaking. But you did the right thing.


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## wagntail (Jan 1, 2009)

Sorry that this has been so difficult..... When I am planning on a litter and receive inquiries I always suggest that puppy buyers have several options until pups are born and you know a pup is available. I've had missed breedings, small litters, and even one with 9 boys and 1 girl so I really can't promise a pup before I know how many and what gender. So when a potential buyer goes on my list for a litter (after receipt of a questionnaire and either a personal visit or phone interview), I make some suggestions for other breedings that I am aware of among my friends. That way I know they won't be disappointed if I don't end up having a pup for them and also the litter is one that follows the same standards of breeding that I do (e.g., clearances, active in dog sports, member of Golden club, etc.). If they end up getting a pup from one of my friends instead of from my litter, that is great too and I know I always will have others who are interested in the litter so I've never had any issues having pups beyond the normal 8 weeks.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I'd get on whatever lists you think you'd like to be on but not share that information with the other breeders just yet. For example, I am on a list for some pups that are due in a week, and another list where pups are due in December. If the litter that is due in a week comes and they have the right pup for me, then I will let the other breeder know that I'd like to be taken off her list. But if the litter that's due in a week does not have a pup for me (either not enough of the gender I want or just not enough pups period) then I'm still on the list for the litter in December, no harm done.


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## Momoftwins (Oct 18, 2013)

Ranger spouse, that stinks.....I am on the search in pa too. This is hard process in general. However, there are so many (seemingly) great options for breeders where we live. Everyone I have talked to has been very kind and understanding. Depending on your timing, I am sure there are many other options. As soon as I have enough posts I will pm and maybe we can help one another. 

Heather


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I've been researching breeders all up and down the east coast for a month now, if either of you would like input on breeders. Feel free to PM me.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

Looping the breeder is key. I had 266 applications for pups, and one home I really liked and to whom I was going to give a puppy sent copies of her exact same letter to four other breeders! She went far into the process with all of us, acting like this was her dream pup. In the end, she got no puppy because everyone was feeling deceived. 

On the flip side, being honest and being on a few lists upfront takes the pressure off for everyone. There are always people you really want to give a puppy to, but you just dont have enough/ the right gender etc. It is comforting if you know they are still going to have a healthy pup from another nice litter.

Breeders do communicate, so you want them to hear it from you truthfully. If this is your first choice for litters, but you have an active plan B and say so, that is perfect. You do not want a reputation for inquiring about pups but not following through. Breeders have a long list of those usual suspects. Anyone who has a history of chronic inquiries without following through, I ruled out. I also ruled out people that just wanted a golden puppy. I looked for applicants who liked one or the other of the parents for specific reasons. 

When I bought Copley, another breeder to whom I had inquired previously felt I had "tire kicked" her litter and liked another one better. She was offended.

It is tricky to handle things right, and you can't always. You just represent yourself truthfully.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

Eeek, I have probably emailed 30 breeders between South Carolina and Massachusetts, and sent the same basic email about who I am and what I am looking for. There are lots of good breeders out there and I wanted to inquire, in some cases, about specific litters, but sometimes if the breeder's website didn't list a specific litter I just wanted basic info to get some idea of whether I thought we'd be a good match and whether they had litters planned in the near future. Hope I didn't end up on some kind of "Don't Sell" list!


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I think this approach is almost required. You have to have some criteria to narrow the search. Ruling out breeders because the timing isn't right, or the breeding goals don't match...in the sport you want to do...is key. Giving each breeder an opportunity to talk about their specific dogs and their purpose, I think, would be mandatory.

That's not the same as getting on a list. I 'chatted' with several breeders before choosing. 

We chose our breeder after researching what the other 'get' were doing. We went with her because that matched our needs best. 



CharlieBear80 said:


> Eeek, I have probably emailed 30 breeders between South Carolina and Massachusetts, and sent the same basic email about who I am and what I am looking for. There are lots of good breeders out there and I wanted to inquire, in some cases, about specific litters, but sometimes if the breeder's website didn't list a specific litter I just wanted basic info to get some idea of whether I thought we'd be a good match and whether they had litters planned in the near future. Hope I didn't end up on some kind of "Don't Sell" list!


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## LJack (Aug 10, 2012)

Just keep in mind, if you are contacting lots of breeders in the initial process, keep track. I imagine it would be very off putting to a breeder to receive questions again that they have already answered, a reply intended for another breeder or worse, another copy of your intro letter after they have responded. 

Also, make sure you are checking their website for info before sending the letter. If they have taken the time to put info out there, read it. My breeder puts a lot of info up on her site including price and still has to answer these questions and adds "take a look at my website". 

It is definitely a balancing act with wait lists. Remember while you are looking for the right puppy on the right time line, breeders are looking for the perfect home and most don't have to worry about time pressures because there is usually more homes looking than there will be puppies.

There is also some times a bit of hurt feelings involved. If you have invested time into conversations, visits, and education. You really like the family and you have turned other nice homes away based on a person on your wait list, it must be frustrating to find out you were plan B. 

Though telling the two breeders may not have gone as you had hoped, I think you did the right thing and it speaks to your honesty and integrity.


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## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

LJack said:


> Just keep in mind, if you are contacting lots of breeders in the initial process, keep track. I imagine it would be very off putting to a breeder to receive questions again that they have already answered, a reply intended for another breeder or worse, another copy of your intro letter after they have responded.


I actually kept a spreadsheet. Kennel name, breeder name, phone number, location, who the dam and sire were and when the litter was due.
Then I had columns for notes on what I found for the dam and sire on offa and k9data, when and how I had contacted them, and notes on our conversations. It helped SO much when I was on the phone talking to the various breeders. And also after the fact when I was trying to remember everything and not mix it up.

I agree with others that, while no one likes to offend anyone, it is much better to be honest and up front than not.

To the OP, I hope you find the perfect breeder and the right pup soon!


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

CStrong73 said:


> I actually kept a spreadsheet. Kennel name, breeder name, phone number, location, who the dam and sire were and when the litter was due.
> Then I had columns for notes on what I found for the dam and sire on offa and k9data, when and how I had contacted them, and notes on our conversations. It helped SO much when I was on the phone talking to the various breeders. And also after the fact when I was trying to remember everything and not mix it up.


I have a similar system set up to keep track of all this. Highly recommend it.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

LJack said:


> Just keep in mind, if you are contacting lots of breeders in the initial process, keep track. I imagine it would be very off putting to a breeder to receive questions again that they have already answered, a reply intended for another breeder or worse, another copy of your intro letter after they have responded.
> 
> Also, make sure you are checking their website for info before sending the letter. If they have taken the time to put info out there, read it. My breeder puts a lot of info up on her site including price and still has to answer these questions and adds "take a look at my website".
> 
> ...



Ths is a great post. At one time, I received a follow up inquiry about if the person was definitely on my list for a Chilli puppy- not my dog. This is another beautiful golden that had a beautiful litter at the same time as Lush. I immediately deleted that inquiry and did even consider it.


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