# Any advice would be appreciated



## Suri Iyer (Jun 4, 2011)

Dear All,
My buddy, Bentley rescued me 11 years ago. He is almost 12, and has been slowing down, but healthy (touch wood) until most recently. He has been limping a bit, but nothing major. A few benign lumps on his body, but the pleasant happy boy that he has always been. However, the past few days have been tough. He seems to have lost interest in hanging out with his human kids, walks, etc. He has been losing balance in his hind legs. The vet did a blood test and the results indicate an elevated calcium level around 22 mg/ml, when it should be half of that value. They suggest doing a parathyroid and an ionized calcium level, along with radiography to check for tumor, etc. I don't mind any of the tests, but I am wondering about the hind legs. After running all these tests and needles and tubes, will Bentley's legs become noticeable different? I'm concerned that whatever results we get, his arthritis and hip dysplasia might still be painful to move around. How can I tell that the pain is very high and the quality of Life is extremely tenuous. Right now, he doesn't seem to enjoy anything much. Just sleeps a lot. I figure reducing the calcium levels will energize him, but it'll be a sliding back if it recurs. Any advice? anyone with a similar situation, can you please share?
Thanks and stay safe from SARS-CoV-2.
Suri.


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## OscarsDad (Dec 20, 2017)

So very sorry to hear that Bentley is having such a tough time. My deepest hopes are for a good diagnosis and outcome. I am sure some of our more knowledgeable users will be able to help.


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## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

Sorry to here Bentley's not feeling well, please keep us updated.


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## 3goldens2keep (Feb 13, 2019)

Sorry your old boy is having this trouble. I relate to what you are saying as we had to put down two of our Goldens last year due to cancer. One was almost 11 and the other one was 14. With the male, Max, who was 11, we thought he was having hip problems...we had some pain pills from our vet and they had helped him a lot. But in October of last year he got so he could not hold himself up to pooh! He walked ok, but just couldn't do the bathroom thing anymore. It was then I knew it was time. When I took him to our vet, he checked him over, focusing on his hips, then to my surprise, he found a lump the size of a grapefruit deep in his small intestinal area. He told me he probably had cancer and was obviously in some pain, as he was panting like he was hot, but he was not hot, his blood work was not good, and his gums were very light... So we put him down...!

I hope this helps with your feeling about when to put them down, for me, I have always told myself, that we will know as the dogs will show us when it is more than they can deal with...Good luck and God Bless you all!


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

Does Bentley have a hip dysplasia diagnosis? Have you asked the vet all of these questions? If you have a good relationship with your vet, it can sometimes be helpful to ask her "What would you do if this were your dog?" and see what the reply is. Think about the things that gives Bentley quality of life: food, family, walks, and then think about whether he can enjoy these things with the calcium issues resolved. I know we are all different, I am not a believer in spending thousands of dollars to extend life for a matter of months if those months will not be high quality. It is so hard to walk this path, I hope you are able to pull enough information together to make a decision you are comfortable with. I am so sorry you're going through this. Please use the search feature at the top of the page to see if you can bring up previous threads on the health issues. You would be amazed but there isn't a topic in the world that you can't find old threads on here, it's all been covered before. It can help to read through other people's thoughts. Sending you a hug.


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## Suri Iyer (Jun 4, 2011)

Dear All, Thank you all for your advice! He had an appointment today, but I had to take Bentley in yesterday as he lost bladder control, couldn't get up, was very disoriented and started shivering. The vet told me that they could refer me to a MRI place as he had lost sensation of his legs and prescribe steroids, etc, but the outcomes would be complex, because she said that the legs are maybe due to spinal issues and the high calcium and lumps are most likely tumor related. (He started developing a lot of lumps) She was nice and slowly walked me through all possibilities. I asked her what she would do in my position and she said that I should think of 5 possible things that make him happy and make a decision. He loved walks, chasing tennis balls, rolling in the grass, swimming, and bread. He lost interest in all these things. I decided it was time. I felt a huge weight on my shoulders before the final injections as I felt that I was playing God. Now, the tears won't stop. I wish I had agreed to more tests and whatever was needed last week without the financial aspect, because it's not like I don't have the funds. Maybe he wouldn't been more hydrated and felt better. I realize yesterday was right decision, but have huge regrets about the week before. I didn't realize that the decline would be so rapid. I realize now I wasn't ready yesterday and I am not ready now either. But, nothing I can do now. Everybody says that you come to the world with nothing and you leave with nothing. That is a big lie. He took a big piece of my heart with him. Now, the tears won't stop. 

A few thoughts that I am sharing: He was such a good boy, friends with everyone. It didn't matter who you were. I thought I could teach him to play fetch, he decided to play on his own rules. He trained me to throw the ball and wrestle it from him to get it back. I tried to trick him by using two balls, he decided that he'll just expand his mouth to grab both of it. Three balls, same thing. He made the rules. Always ready to play, but his rules, if there was a packet of bread on the counter, it was his and I needed to clean up the plastic. 

Suri.


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss of Bentley. Please try not to second guess the choices you had to make. I agree with Kristy about quality of life. It's the most loving final gift to spare them the pain and humiliation of a long decline, being unable to enjoy the things they loved. I realized today that when people post how sorry we are that someone has lost their dog it is heartfelt because we understand your pain. They really do leave a hole in your heart. Bentley sounds like a real character and I can tell you gave him a happy life. Try to think about the good times and not the last few weeks.


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## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

I'm so sorry for you loss. Putting my old girl down in December was the hardest thing I have ever done. She was my rock. She had been with us through my daughters chronic illness and a divorce. She knew me better than anyone.

The time came where it was hurting her to live. She was sick and I knew it wasn't fair to her anymore. It was December 3rd. I still cry occasionally. 

I hope he finds my Olivia and they play together as they wait for us.


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## Suri Iyer (Jun 4, 2011)

Thanks again, everyone. I have a query. Why is it that Bentley never whimpered when I or the vet pressed gently at different parts of his body to see where or what hurts? He would just lay down and not complain. Is it because he was on gabapentin and CBD oil? Or because he was so disoriented and lost from a lot of pain? Not once did he whimper or cry out. Not once. Only yesterday, he started shivering because he peed on himself and he has never peed in the house even when we were gone for hours. He would always wait for us to let him out. If my back hurts or hips hurt and someone presses it, we cry out like there's no tomorrow. He was my first pet that I had to lead to the bridge. 

He will be friends with Olivia, until she tries to snatch his tennis balls.

Suri


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm very sorry for your loss of Bentley, it's such a very difficult decision to make but one we make out of love for them.


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## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

Oh goodness, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like Bentley filled your home and heart with happiness.


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## 3goldens2keep (Feb 13, 2019)

I am so sorry for your loss. From what you shared, it was time and Bentley told you in his own way! These dogs are so strong, they will put pain away, until they just cannot stand it anymore. I have had 7 Goldens, 2 are still with me...all the others died from some form of cancer! None of them every cried up to and including when we put them down. The are just strong animals, in time you will appreciate how tough you pup really was and how he had earned the right to be put out of his pain, even though it tore your heart out!

Time heals all wounds, in time your focus will be on all the wonderful memories you have of Bentley! That is his gift to you, he will never be gone, he will live on in your mind...forever!


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## Suri Iyer (Jun 4, 2011)

Thanks for the advice. It's much appreciated. - Suri.


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## Dunmar (Apr 15, 2020)

Suri Iyer said:


> Thanks again, everyone. I have a query. Why is it that Bentley never whimpered when I or the vet pressed gently at different parts of his body to see where or what hurts? He would just lay down and not complain. Is it because he was on gabapentin and CBD oil? Or because he was so disoriented and lost from a lot of pain? Not once did he whimper or cry out. Not once. Only yesterday, he started shivering because he peed on himself and he has never peed in the house even when we were gone for hours. He would always wait for us to let him out. If my back hurts or hips hurt and someone presses it, we cry out like there's no tomorrow. He was my first pet that I had to lead to the bridge.
> 
> He will be friends with Olivia, until she tries to snatch his tennis balls.
> 
> Suri


My vet told me Goldens (Olivia was at least half) have a way of hiding their pain. 
Every bladder infection she had as she got older, we would have to look for changes as it wasn't obvious. The vet would say "that's a Golden for ya"
The cancer in her leg that finally took her. We thought it came on quickly and just in her leg. We thought we had options. It was more than just her leg as if we didn't put her down, the cancer probably would have taken her in less than a few days from when we did. We chose to end her suffering that seemed to just happen over a couple days.
When I told the vet I thought we would have more time. The vet said it was probably more advanced than just the leg and Goldens can hide their illnesses well. 

Don't second guess yourself. You did what you thought was best. He was no longer happy living in his body. It is possible he was sicker than he led on.

I really feel for you. 

We had my girl cremated and bought a beautiful urn for her off Amazon. When we finally have a place we will retire in, I will bury her there. I didn't want to leave her behind here since we know we wont stay here forever


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## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious boy, my heart breaks for you, they leave such an empty space in our lives. Would you like me to add Bentley to The Rainbow Bridge List?.x


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## Suri Iyer (Jun 4, 2011)

swishywagga said:


> I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious boy, my heart breaks for you, they leave such an empty space in our lives. Would you like me to add Bentley to The Rainbow Bridge List?.x


Yes, please add Bentley with this picture. I wasn't lying when I mentioned that he would hold two balls in his mouth. You guys have been amazingly wonderful to take the time and energy to reply to me (a stranger) under the COVID-19 times. Bentley was my rock - no matter how much nonsense was going around me and in the world, his presence was such a strength - I always knew that things would be alright because he was with me. Now, I feel that huge loss of strength. THANKS again. - Suri.


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