# How to gain trust and help my fearful dog?



## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

So I was active on this forum about year ago when I had tons of issues with my puppy. She was not a sweet golden but one of those who bites and are aggressive.
We have worked through many, many issues and she is now quite well behaved. She has learned to get a toy when excited and not our hands and legs. Sometimes she is still biting when we are touching her feet but it is way more less then before and she stops when we tell her or give her treats.

I believe many of her issues were result of her being fearful of so many things. For example in the house if her toy gets between curtains she will bark to tell her ball is stuck and she can't get it, we do encourage her to take it by herself. But other dogs wouldn't even think about it, they would just take the ball. Or if the doors of our room are not fully open she is to scared to push them to get in.

Recently she bit my husband when we wanted to give her a bath, because she was scared of getting in. Fortunately it wasn't to bad, and we managed to get her in the tub and give her a bath, but she had to use me as step to get in and she had to do it by herself. But if we are taking the shower she wants to get in and play. 

Now it seems she is have some allergy issues and has some ear infection I should give her ear drops and it is impossible. She got a muzzle but still she is fighting like crazy. When I tried to give her drops she snapped and put teeth on my hand as a warning. So I didn't want to try again without muzzle.

Now she ducks as soon as I start to go towards her ears and just few days ago I was able to clean her ears without problems. 

Is it possible to gain trust of fearful dog like that? And how to help her to help us. I feel so disappointed and sad because I have feeling we failed her is she doesn't trust us. But then she is like that from the day we got her.

Any advice would be helpful.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

Have you had her checked out by a vet? If not that would be your first step, they may have to sedate her to get a good look in her ears. She may need something for pain management as well. Consider checking out the Fearful Dogs page on Facebook - run by Debbie Jacobs. There are files there you can read on counter conditioning/ desensitizing a dog to the things they fear, and how to work with them in helping over come their handling fears.


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## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

Yes. She got some pills and ear drops from a vet. I've called them to tell them about the issue I have but unfortunately they didn't call me back to tell me if they have any other option or what to do next.


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## smp (Apr 27, 2016)

I'm sorry you and your dog are going through this. Probably difficult for both of you. I would highly encourage you to watch this video, take notes, watch it again and again, and then practice practice practice with your dog. The theory and methods she uses are exactly what you can do to desensitize your dog towards things like the bath, ear drops, clipping nails, etc. If you don't want to do a clicker, you can still use the same method, just using a marker like "YES" and then treat. The "kikopup" series of videos is amazing. She has some other ones If you feel overwhelmed, I would really encourage you to have a professional, positive dog trainer help you out.


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## gdgli (Aug 24, 2011)

Sorry you are having problems but IMO these can be dealt with. Just curious, what has she done in the past when you give her a bath?


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

It is possible to gain the trust of a fearful dog, but the first step is avoiding whenever possible doing those things that trigger the fear response and working through a program of counter conditioning (creating a positive association with) what they are afraid of, it is a process and does take some time to work through. If we continue to pressure a fearful dog, and ignore the signals that are telling us they are uncomfortable/afraid of what is happening, they have no choice but to 'shut down' or 'strike out' in an effort to 'protect' (in their eyes) themselves and we risk teaching them (reinforcing to them) that they cannot trust us. Take the time to learn to 'read' her stress/anxiety signals - pay close attention to her face. Ears back, or held flat against her head, lip licking/tongue flicking, panting (out of context), looking away/turning (head or body) away, lips drawn back, corners of the mouth drawn back (may have creases), eyes wide, pupils dilated, tension in the body, shrinking back, lowering of the body, are all signs that our dog is stressed/anxious.
The book: On Talking terms with Dogs by Turid Rugaas, can give you a basic understanding of the signals, and help you understand what she is trying to communicate to you.


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## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

We were able to put her in the bathtub and give a bath. She wasn't too happy and tried to get out once, but she wasn't growling and I have to go in with her, but she waits until done.


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## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

We are getting better at reading those signals. That is why I stopped giving her ear drops because I think if we continue it won't end up so good. I have tried to put few drops on cotton and push it in her ear for now. First day she was more reluctant to it but we gave her loooots of good treats and I managed to push cotton so at least I can clean her ear little bit and get that fluid in, although it is not as it should be. Today she got meat when I tried with cotton again. She did wrinkle her nose little bit, but put much less resistance then yesterday. 
I don't think giving her those drops for now it will work, because as soon as she sees the bottle and feels the smell she behaves like she saw the worst thing she could.


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## Aislinn (Nov 13, 2010)

Are you sure all of it is fear and some of it is she's learned how to get her way?


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

It is good she is getting a bit better with the handling, take your time, help her create a positive association with whatever it is that she is showing that she is not feeling comfortable with. 

It is never a good idea to dismiss or ignore the signals a dog is displaying in an effort to communicate how it is feeling about a situation it is in. They don't 'pretend' to be afraid, they ARE afraid, we need to respect that.


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## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

Aislinn said:


> Are you sure all of it is fear and some of it is she's learned how to get her way?


I am very sure it's a fear as a first time dog owner I can be.


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## Wicky (Aug 27, 2015)

When Sona had an ear infection I had the same problem getting drops in and this was a dog that was happy to be handelled by anyone including ears. My trainer suggested breaking it down into steps. Get her to lie on her side and treat (I used a tube of dog pate so the reward was constant). Then add in touching ear, touch ear with drops in sight, touch ear while holding drops, while picking up drops, while moving drops near ear etc.... this however takes time and while Sona improved I did end up putting drops on tissue rolling it into ear. In the end it did not fully clear so the vets went with different drops that they put in and repeated once 7 days later. 
Regarding the bath if she is fearful break it down and don't expect to much. Rub a little peanut butter on the side of bath - let her lick it off and take her out. Once she is comfortable start adding steps each time.... turning water, getting feet wet, getting body wet etc.... 
I have to say the best thing we did was build a relationship with a trainer who is there if I have a problem. The web resources mentioned above also look great. 
Best of luck!


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## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

Wicky said:


> When Sona had an ear infection I had the same problem getting drops in and this was a dog that was happy to be handelled by anyone including ears. My trainer suggested breaking it down into steps. Get her to lie on her side and treat (I used a tube of dog pate so the reward was constant). Then add in touching ear, touch ear with drops in sight, touch ear while holding drops, while picking up drops, while moving drops near ear etc.... this however takes time and while Sona improved I did end up putting drops on tissue rolling it into ear. In the end it did not fully clear so the vets went with different drops that they put in and repeated once 7 days later.
> Regarding the bath if she is fearful break it down and don't expect to much. Rub a little peanut butter on the side of bath - let her lick it off and take her out. Once she is comfortable start adding steps each time.... turning water, getting feet wet, getting body wet etc....
> I have to say the best thing we did was build a relationship with a trainer who is there if I have a problem. The web resources mentioned above also look great.
> Best of luck!


For now my vet says I can use cotton, so I will do it that way. Fortunately it is mild infection, so when she becomes good with cotton I will try to train with empty bottle. Just for the future. 

I really like this idea about peanut butter on the side of the bathtub. Thank you for suggesting it. I would definitely keep her busy while I give her a bath. She is big fan of the water so just on her own terms.


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## Wicky (Aug 27, 2015)

NGolden said:


> For now my vet says I can use cotton, so I will do it that way. Fortunately it is mild infection, so when she becomes good with cotton I will try to train with empty bottle. Just for the future.  )


That's great hopefully she will be better soon - let us know how you get on!


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## NGolden (Sep 29, 2015)

We have met with our trainer and she help us/showed us how to give her ear drops. So for now it is working. She needs to have her gentle leader on, but I am so happy that for now she is ok with it for now and we didn't have to go with the muzzle. 

Last time when I gave her drop it was so bad I never thought I will be able to give her again, so this make me so happy. There is I guess always way when you know what you are doing, and we were lucky with our trainer that she was able to show our dog and us what that way is.


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