# Rehoming my girl



## Ashley P

Hello all. I am looking to find a new home for my girl Star. She is 6 1/2 months old. Unfortunately my home is not the best for her. My husband despises my dog and I feel that she knows. He refuses to help train her but is constantly complaining about the things she does. She does have some medical issues. We are waiting out an incontinance issue and we are going to see if her first heat helps. I am using homeopathic drops that seem to be helping a lot. I am in the dfw area of Texas. If anyone is interested giving this super sweet girl the home and training she needs, let me know. She currently lives with another dog and a cat, as well as 2 young children so she does well with all types of people and animals. She is not mouthy at all, and loves to chase bubbles more than anything! If you wait until she has her first heat to spay her, I will gladly pay for it in full!


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## 4goldengirls

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Was your husband on board when you got the dog? Was he fine with her before the medical issues arose? I'm just asking because it's so sad that at such a young age this has happened to her thru no fault of her her own. 

Hopefully someone on this forum will be able to help or guide you in the right direction. Good luck.


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## Ashley P

Yes he was on board when I got her. I honestly think it was her medical issues that put him over the edge. I admit it has been stressful, but I don’t want to get rid of her because of it. I don’t really have a choice though. I’m a stay at home mom and my husband is paying for my school. So divorce is not really an option at this time. Otherwise I would most definitely choose the dog over him. I’ve already contacted a couple of golden rescues in my area and they are willing to take her as soon as a foster home opens up. I was just checking on here to see if I might be able to find a willing home for her while we wait.


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## Brave

I'm not in the area, but you should look at relinquishing her to a local rescue if you're set on rehoming her.  

https://grralliance.org/ 
Golden Retriever Rescue of North Texas
Welcome | Gold Ribbon Rescue 


If you're still on the fence, maybe we can help troubleshoot to find compromises that will help keep her in your home?


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## rabernet

This is heart breaking and not easy, I'm sure. 

Did you have a breeder contract on her, where you could return her to her breeder?


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## LynnC

I’m so sorry for this situation. Star is such a beauty and deserves to be with a family where everyone loves and wants her. Thank you for making this very difficult tough decision. Hopefully the kind members on this wonderful forum can help you and Star. Good luck.


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## Mirinde

Good luck finding a new, safe place for your girl. I'm sure this must be heartbreaking for you. Hoping finding a new home conveniently takes just a little longer than it takes for you guys to find a solution to the incontinence and for your husband to simmer down


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## 4goldengirls

Health issues in pets, especially when undiagnosed, can definitely cause stress in relationships, especially when the medical visits/tests/medications are costly. My heart bleeds for poor Star. Too bad hubby can't get on board and offer more support, but perhaps the expense as well as cleaning up the urine has taken it's toll.

I believe there is a surgical procedure that can correct the recessed vulva, although that would be an additional cost.

Again, I am so worry you and Star are going thru this.


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## Megora

Don't just rehome to anybody - there's a lot of creepers out there looking for dogs for the wrong reasons. Or they want a dog, but not necessarily a house dog. <= I've seen dogs stuck outside on the doorstep and there's nothing more tragic and forlorn than a neglected dog. And most of these dogs who know what's it's like to be a beloved member of the family, know the difference when they have been relegated to being left outside by themselves all the time. 

Also, I'd sit down and have a family talk with your husband. Not necessarily along the lines of keeping a dog if you do not have the ability to keep both the dog and your husband who is being a turd about the dog. But I think you probably need to sit down and make sure he is more supportive and more understanding - especially around the kids. 

Those kids are learning how to be compassionate human beings from you and your husband. Even if they are not currently perceptive enough to know what's going on. Kids ask questions later on. 

Incontinence issues = quite honestly, I'd bring the fact that your husband either is like majority of other guys out there and leaving a mess in the bathroom that they don't stop and clean up themselves.... and when he's old, he's probably going to need to wear a diaper. Because some guys get incontinent in old age. And that's a lot more gross than a dog peeing in the house. 

Me personally - I'd take dog pee and poop over having to clean up after people's messes. :laugh:


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## Ashley P

Brave said:


> I'm not in the area, but you should look at relinquishing her to a local rescue if you're set on rehoming her. <img src="http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Smile" class="inlineimg" />
> 
> https://grralliance.org/
> Golden Retriever Rescue of North Texas
> Welcome | Gold Ribbon Rescue
> 
> 
> If you're still on the fence, maybe we can help troubleshoot to find compromises that will help keep her in your home?


Yes I’ve contacted them and they agreed to take her we are just waiting on an available foster home. I really don’t mind keeping her as long as needed.


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## Ashley P

Megora said:


> Don't just rehome to anybody - there's a lot of creepers out there looking for dogs for the wrong reasons. Or they want a dog, but not necessarily a house dog. <= I've seen dogs stuck outside on the doorstep and there's nothing more tragic and forlorn than a neglected dog. And most of these dogs who know what's it's like to be a beloved member of the family, know the difference when they have been relegated to being left outside by themselves all the time.
> 
> Also, I'd sit down and have a family talk with your husband. Not necessarily along the lines of keeping a dog if you do not have the ability to keep both the dog and your husband who is being a turd about the dog. But I think you probably need to sit down and make sure he is more supportive and more understanding - especially around the kids.
> 
> Those kids are learning how to be compassionate human beings from you and your husband. Even if they are not currently perceptive enough to know what's going on. Kids ask questions later on.
> 
> Incontinence issues = quite honestly, I'd bring the fact that your husband either is like majority of other guys out there and leaving a mess in the bathroom that they don't stop and clean up themselves.... and when he's old, he's probably going to need to wear a diaper. Because some guys get incontinent in old age. And that's a lot more gross than a dog peeing in the house.
> 
> Me personally - I'd take dog pee and poop over having to clean up after people's messes. /images/GoldenretrieverForum_2016/smilies/tango_face_smile_big.png


I think you are right! He doesn’t seem to be compassionate towards the dog at all and my kids do see that. He is not abusive towards the dog or anything, just very put off by her. Always yelling at her. Making underhanded comments about throwing her out or getting rid of her for good. Makes me sad.


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## Ashley P

4goldengirls said:


> Health issues in pets, especially when undiagnosed, can definitely cause stress in relationships, especially when the medical visits/tests/medications are costly. My heart bleeds for poor Star. Too bad hubby can't get on board and offer more support, but perhaps the expense as well as cleaning up the urine has taken it's toll.
> 
> I believe there is a surgical procedure that can correct the recessed vulva, although that would be an additional cost.
> 
> Again, I am so worry you and Star are going thru this.


I have spoken to the vet about surgery to fix her vulva. We were going to wait and see if a heat corrected it, and if not then we would fix her vulva when we spayed her.


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## Ashley P

rabernet said:


> This is heart breaking and not easy, I'm sure.
> 
> Did you have a breeder contract on her, where you could return her to her breeder?


She was from a backyard breeder. I found this website after I got her and didn’t realize all the things I should have looked for in a breeder until it was too late. I would honestly rather her stay here with me, than where I got her from. They actually just had two more litters and I think she would be neglected there.


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## Brave

Question: is your husband willing to let you keep her until she's had her first heat and is spayed? Can she wear a diaper in the house? If the main issue for him is her incontinence (which I get is very annoying), given that you are SO CLOSE to her first heat (which typically hits around 8 months depending on the dog, I've read) is he willing to suck it up and deal with it until you can see if the heat and/or the surgery fixes things? 

Can he articulate what bothers him about her so you can see if any of that is something that can be trained/worked on? 

Like my husband doesn't like dogs that beg, so we've taught the dogs "go to your bed" to reset them if they start begging. I don't like when Gypsy jumps off my stomach when I get home so I spent a lot of time working on redirecting that behavior (now she greets me with a toy and does a lap around the car before we go inside). 

Maybe sit down with him and say, if you'll deal with the incontinence for another 4 months (I imagine she'll have her heat by then) for which I will take the following precautions (diapers, extra potty breaks, potty pads on beds, etc); I'll work with her on not doing x,y,z. 

Me, personally, I'd tell him to stop being rude with her. If he stops treating her like an unwanted toy, I bet his attitude will change with time. You are what you say. So if all he's saying is "i hate this dog" he will hate this dog. 

I know this is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.  *hugs*


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## NJGoldenMom

Ashley, I am so very sorry about all you are going through. Anyone who has read you on the forum knows how much you love Star and how hard you have tried to get her healthy. I know this must be heartbreaking for you. Good luck finding a loving home for Star. I will be thinking about both of you. Take care.


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## Buddy's mom forever

Ashley P said:


> I think you are right! He doesn’t seem to be compassionate towards the dog at all and my kids do see that. He is not abusive towards the dog or anything, just very put off by her. Always yelling at her. Making underhanded comments about throwing her out or getting rid of her for good. Makes me sad.


I am so sorry for you and your girl, it is very unfortunate situation for both of you. She sounds like really good pup. First not any of us is happy with high vet bills and I know you didn't ask for an advice but you seems like young couple and those are firsts in row, we all have/had them but I hope you can sit down and talk with your husband, tell him how you feel and this dog means a lot to you. Wishing you, your dog and your family all the best.


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## cwag

I am so sorry. I wish there was a way for us to help you keep her.


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## sophieanne

Hi Ashley..I'm sorry for your situation. I do need to share this with you, for what it may/may not be worth. I have a 5 month, 1 week old Labrador Retriever. She is the sweetest thing. What we have noticed is that she does need to pee a lot more than any other dog we've had. She has more than the occasional accident in the house (especially if she's excited), but no big deal. Took her to the vet...no issue they could think of. Anyhow, 2 days ago we had our little girl spayed. She's been home, drinking lots of water (more than normal actually), so I've been on guard to take her out as needed. Interestingly enough, she's having good outputs, but she's not having a many as before. Needless to say it's only 2 days post surgery but I would've expected more, not less accidents. Perhaps spaying her made a difference and the accidents are going to slow down or stop. I don't know what your vet said about your beautiful girl's situation, but wondering if spaying could make a difference. Will you husband give her more time to see what happens???


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## Ashley P

Thank you all for your caring responses. It does mean a lot to me. I will definitely talk to my husband and see if we can come to an agreement that would be good for both of us and Star.


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## Ashley P

sophieanne said:


> Hi Ashley..I'm sorry for your situation. I do need to share this with you, for what it may/may not be worth. I have a 5 month, 1 week old Labrador Retriever. She is the sweetest thing. What we have noticed is that she does need to pee a lot more than any other dog we've had. She has more than the occasional accident in the house (especially if she's excited), but no big deal. Took her to the vet...no issue they could think of. Anyhow, 2 days ago we had our little girl spayed. She's been home, drinking lots of water (more than normal actually), so I've been on guard to take her out as needed. Interestingly enough, she's having good outputs, but she's not having a many as before. Needless to say it's only 2 days post surgery but I would've expected more, not less accidents. Perhaps spaying her made a difference and the accidents are going to slow down or stop. I don't know what your vet said about your beautiful girl's situation, but wondering if spaying could make a difference. Will you husband give her more time to see what happens???


That’s very interesting! I was so worried that spaying her now would make it worse, and she would end up with spay incontinence.


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## KKaren

Ashley P said:


> Hello all. I am looking to find a new home for my girl Star. She is 6 1/2 months old. Unfortunately my home is not the best for her. My husband despises my dog and I feel that she knows. He refuses to help train her but is constantly complaining about the things she does. She does have some medical issues. We are waiting out an incontinance issue and we are going to see if her first heat helps. I am using homeopathic drops that seem to be helping a lot. I am in the dfw area of Texas. If anyone is interested giving this super sweet girl the home and training she needs, let me know. She currently lives with another dog and a cat, as well as 2 young children so she does well with all types of people and animals. She is not mouthy at all, and loves to chase bubbles more than anything! If you wait until she has her first heat to spay her, I will gladly pay for it in full!


Hey Ashely, I just wanted to send you some love and hugs for both you and for sweet little Star. I'm sorry you are having to make this really hard decision, you must be heart broken. It's so very very kind and unselfish of you to think about Star's needs... and your searching for a solution is such a credit to you. Take some special pictures with her and I'll be watching your thread and praying for a positive solution. With Kindest Thoughts, Karen


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## Zoeys mom

I’m so sorry you are going through this ? Our babies are almost the same age and enjoyed following your posts. I hope you can find a solution that will work for everyone. Big hugs, this can’t be easy on you


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## gdgli

I am so sorry to hear this. Rehoming your girl is a very difficult decision. I wish everyone the best.


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## Betsy

So very sorry for you & the family. Star is beautiful.


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## coffenut

Oh I am so so sorry .... get rid of the husband (that was a joke). Seriously, I hope that you find the best home for her. My heart is breaking for you.


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