# Overly Clingy Golden



## BC Eagle

Jake is an 18 mos Golden who has been with us for 2 1/2 mos. I bought him as a young adult because I have a 3 year old and wanted to avoid the challenges of raising a puppy and a young child at the same time. Jake is an awesome dog and I have really lucked out - he is beautiful, gentle, loving and playful. He has many minor problems that we still have to work out, but the one that is hardest for me is his clinginess. He is a 'velcro-Golden'. He has decided that I am his idol and he follows me everywhere. He is usually sleeping on my foot when I am sitting down, or else only a few feet away. When I walk around the house he follows right behind me. If I even leave the room for a second to get something, he jumps up to go with me. If I'm vacuuming, he follows me the whole time, getting in my way every time I turn around. He won't even go to the bathroom without me. Initially I had to go right out on the lawn with him. Now at least I can just go to the top of the porch stairs. But if I don't go with him, he won't go and will eventually go in the house when he can't hold it any longer (he wasn't housebroken when we got him). If I'm sitting down reading or talking he repeatedly comes over, nosing my hand to get me to pat him. He won't go away when I tell him to, and if I push him, he passively resists. (This has improved a little bit, he isn't as intrusive as he was). This doesn't sound like a big problem, but he's driving me crazy!!!! I think if he could, he'd climb inside me. I'm a single working mom, and having this dog under my feet all the time is very frustrating. Earlier in my life I would have loved to have such a faithful, devoted dog, but not at this time in my life. I got him so he and my son could grow together, but although he is extremely tolerant of my son, he doesn't have much interest in him. He chose me as his 'person' the moment he met me. I thought the behaviour would moderate as he settled in, but it really hasn't changed.

Of course, there are advantages to this kind of dog - he's easy to train, eager to please and learns quickly. He'll stay at my side off-leash and his recall is great. He's great to hug and snuggle with and never needs 'space'.

Here's Jake's background: he was bred and raised by a very reputable breeder, who breeds for show and pets. He was intended to be a stud dog, and was kept by his breeder, living in his kennel with 4 or 5 other dogs. He was very well socialized to both dogs and people, judging by his behaviour. They had regular exercise and could run freely on the farm sometimes. His breeder decided not to keep him as a show dog as he had some minor conformational flaws. I am an animal lover, with lots of experience with dogs and cats. I've had a Golden previously, my beloved Eric, who died 2 yrs ago from cancer. I raised Eric as a stud dog for our provincial guide dog program, and then took over his ownership when he got sick with Cushing's syndrome. Eric was always somewhat aloof, so this type of clingy behaviour is new to me.

My question is: What can I do to encourage him to develop relationships with other people, or at least not follow me around so assiduously? Is this behaviour going to change or will it always be like this. Why is he so clingy? I understand about dog social behaviour and pack hierarchy, but he seems excessive.


----------



## mdoats

You might have a problem. Goldens like to be with their people. It's one of the traits of the breed. I haven't met many aloof goldens. I'm sure they exist, but it's not necessarily the norm. Rookie wants to be in whichever room I'm in. He likes to sleep with his head on my foot if he's on the floor, or his head on my lap if he's on the couch with me. If I get up to go to the bathroom, he'll follow me and lay on the floor outside of the bathroom until I'm done.

It's not likely that you'll be able to change his basic desire to be with you. You can, however, train him so that you don't have to deal with some of the more annoying behaviors. 

My Rookie is allowed to ask to be petted by quietly putting his head on my lap. If he puts his head under my hand, I simply remove my hand and don't pet him. So he doesn't do that thing where he tries to flip my hand. I've also taught him that if I tell him "No," he's not going to be petted. When he puts his head on my lap, I'll either pet him or tell him "No." If I tell him "no," I get mournful eyes for a second or two and then he'll go lay down. I've also taught him the "go to your bed" command. If I'm cooking and he's underfoot, I'll tell him to go to his bed and he'll go lay down on his bed until I release him.

Think about some of the behavior that you find the most problematic and make a training plan to deal with the behaviors. But don't expect him to stop wanting to be in the room with you! That's unlikely to change.


----------



## RedDogs

I would get into a good positive reinforcement training class, specifically one that teaches strong stays, go-to-mat, and settle behaviors.

If you can send him to his mat, he will leave you alone when you ask. If he has a good stay, he will stay while you leave the room or are working. If you teach him to settle and relax...he will be more comfortable while you do whatever it is you are doing.


----------



## C's Mom

I'm encouraged by your saying that he isn't as clingy as when you first got him. When I brought my adopted boy home he, too, was my shadow. It took nearly a year but now I can walk into another room and he may not follow - especially if he is having a nice nap. Give him some time.


----------



## Braccarius

Miri is our velcro dog and is exactly the way your guy is. She HAS to be with you.... she cannot stand being away from people. She goes outside goes pee or poop as fast as she can and runs back to the house to come inside immediately... there's no sniffing around or exploring. I have had her since she was 8 weeks old, and to be honest that has always been her personality. Her focus in life is you. Harley is different, he is more aloof and far more independent. His recall is moderately bad (he has graduated advanced obedience) and is more like "Oh... I'll get there in a minute" kinda guy. However, inside the house if I'm on the computer his big noggin' is on my feet. If I'm taking a nap, he's up on the bed. If I'm watching TV so is he. 

After having 3 Goldens I am firmly convinced that this is a breed trait. They are entirely devoted to their owners and though some have a form of independence they are still very much attached. I don't think that this is at all a bad thing that needs to be fixed nor is it something I would take steps to correct. I've found that my two don't have "personal bubbles" with food, toys or children which is something I've noticed more frequently with less devoted animals. Also, if he's been bounced or re-homed so recently he's probably feeling insecure about his surroundings. An insecure dog is going to cling to things that it takes comfort in and that thing is you (which is a great thing).


----------



## Willow52

I don't know, but Jake doesn't sound that unusual for a Golden, especially a male. My Hank is like that, I can't go anywhere in the house without him following me. I haven't done chores, taken a shower or used the toilet alone since we brought him home! He follows me from room to room. There is no separation anxiety problems when we're not home, but he loves his humans and wants to be with us all the time.


----------



## Debles

I agree with Red Dogs that you can lovingly train him to have his "place" to lay and be safe. Since he is well trained and want's to please you then "stay" and "Go lie down" shouldn't be difficult.

My goldens have both been velcro dogs at times and others will lie on the couch while I run around the house.


----------



## Karen519

*Tucker*

My Tucker, who is 2 years old, we just adopted him, is definitely what they call a VELCRO GOLDEN and I love that!! No matter what room I'm in, he follows me. I think it is just wonderful!!


----------



## cubbysan

Sounds like a typical golden to me. In our house, we have two adults, so Brady is always clinging to one of the adults. I think because there is only one of you, you get it 100 percent.

MacKenzie is just started to get clingy now at 18 months, but her personality is more of the hunting lines than the show lines, so she can be a little more independent or at times need her alone time.

When Brady gets to the point where it is driving me crazy, I will get him a chew toy to keep him busy or a filled kong.


----------



## boomers_dawn

I agree it's somewhat typical golden behavior that is one of the things I love about the breed, but too much clinginess can lead to separation anxiety and problems, so if it were me I would do some exercises like make him sit/stay or down/stay for short periods a bit away from you (as opposed to sitting on your foot - LOL) and also take him to classes that might build confidence. Part of the Canine Good Citizen test involves separation anxiety where we worked on it by going out of the room for like a minute or whatever then increasing it to 3 minutes for the test. 

He sounds like a really nice dog, good luck and enjoy!


----------



## Ryoma

is there such a thing as "overly-clingy-golden.html" 

in fact this little excerpt from Gaylans, has become a recurrent joke, when our golden come and and well "cling" to us.


..."They love to play and want to be close to their owners (in the house is essential, in the same room is better, touching is ideal). Even the most dignified golden will occasionally dissolve into silliness. If you cannot tolerate two years of puppyhood and lifetime playfulness, or if you are looking for a sedate, dignified pet, DON'T GET A GOLDEN!"...
Disadvantages of owning a golden retriever


PS: I actually never understood why its listed as disadvantage, when its the thing I like the most, heck I'd gotten a Chow otherwise.


----------



## BC Eagle

*Reply from OP*

Thanks everyone for your advice. What I've gathered from the comments is that Jake is an entirely normal Golden and this is the way he's going to be. I guess my former Golden was unusual:doh:. I can accept that, no problem. It's nice to be worshipped I guess.

Thanks for the advice about obedience. I haven't taken him to class as fast as I would have otherwise because I would feel rather foolish having him in a beginner's class, since he is perfect on leash and has perfect recall. The only thing I can't get him to do is stay. I think I need to find a class that can meet his needs, but the people giving obedience classes around here aren't too interested in anything other than the time and price of the classes. Anyone have any recommendations for the Surrey, BC area?


----------



## jackie_hubert

I sent you a Private Message.


----------



## Sally's Mom

I have 7 that follow me from room to room... they do not follow my husband or my kids. One is currently sleeping at my feet under the computer desk... one is sucking on her toy, one is chewing a bone, 3 are sleeping, and 1 has gone into the living room and is probably sleeping on the forbidden leather furniture. However, they all know "go away."(something the rest of the family has taught them well) My boys are definitely more velcro than the girls. I have taken a lot of obedience classes with positive reinforcement where we teach our dogs to lie on a mat. That would be helpful to teach your guy. Mine also know "go lay down."


----------



## Neeko13

I agree with everyone else, a velcro golden is a normal golden..Nitro was sorta clingy when we got him @ 8 weeks old, and when Nitro was 2 we got the real velcro golden  Nash......He would leap over Nitro just to be with me, and me alone.....he is now 9, and has to always have a part of his body touching a part of my body, even if it means stepping on Nitro :uhoh: He's sweet, I love him, but Nitro realizes that mom will come down stairs from the bathroom, there's no doors up there for her to leave by, Nash he's right in the bathroom with me, with his head on my lap :bowl: Good luck, Nash does know go lay down, but does it right @ my feet....enjoy, love him, and he'll make you feel like a queen.....


----------



## tanianault

My Mack, who was a rescue we adopted at about 1.5 years old, was also a Velcro Golden. I'd grown up with herding breeds (Border Collies, Collies, German Shepherds) on our family farm. The breeder who fostered Mack as a rescue had explained to me that Goldens weren't as independent as what I'd been used to, but I was worried that he would develop separation anxiety when he started to do things like get up if I shifted in my chair, follow me into the shower, etc.

I did a LOT of work with him on the following:

- PLACE: go to a mat and stay there while I do something else. I started with the mat right at my feet and slowly worked Mack up to staying on a mat in the corner of the kitchen or living room. He could still watch what I was doing but I wouldn't trip over him with a boiling pot of water or run into him with the vacuum cleaner.
- RELAX: Mack had a natural fold-back down, which was nice, but also meant he could get up in the blink of an eye. I shaped him to "puppy lay" which helped because if he was going to move I might stand a chance of catching him before he could get all the way up.
- KENNEL: We started out with Mack sleeping in our bedroom, but he seemed to calm down significantly when we moved him into a crate just outside our bedroom. I started with the crate right next to the bed and then slowly moved it a few inches each week until it was in the hallway right outside the door.

Mack always was a Velcro dog, and I grew to love him for it, but I know our work together helped him become calmer, more self-reliant, and ultimately, happier.

- Tania


----------

