# 3 month old - Teddy - Had to be returned



## Jax's Mom (Oct 16, 2009)

I'm so sorry you had to give your Puppy back. I suppose your Mom made the decision based on whats best for Teddy.


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## Maxs Mom (Mar 22, 2008)

So sorry... that has to be heartbreaking. I am sure Teddy's well being was the main concern.


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## akgolden (Jun 18, 2011)

You are worried about leaving a 3 month old puppy alone for 4 hours? I'm sorry but that seems like a very odd reason to return the puppy.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm sorry this decision was made. Most puppies love to have 4 hours of quiet time. But I'm sure your mom did what was best for the family and for Teddy. Glad you bought him from a reputable breeder who would take him back. (((((hugs)))))))


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

Yeah, everything was made for the best decision for him. By 4 hours, I mean at a time, he would be alone for 4 hours. Then my dad would come home to take him out to pee/poop, eat, and play a little. Then my dad would go back to work and leave him in his crate for another 4 hours until my brother and I came home. We decided it wasn't good for Teddy to be alone all that time.


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## akgolden (Jun 18, 2011)

That makes more sense. Sorry you had to let him go


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## JDK (Jul 30, 2011)

Sorry to hear your family decided to return the puppy. 4 hours though isn't all that much time, especially when you consider the fact that he would only have to be in the crate until he was housebroken and not his entire life. My pup, JJ - 15 weeks - loves his naps. He sleeps from 7:30am - 11:30am/12pm, 1pm - 4pm, 8pm-9:30pm and then 11pm-5:30am. Whenever he's awake and out of the crate, he gets every minute of our time. He does nothing but play when he's wake, so his naps are something he looks forward to. That's not to say though that Teddy likes to sleep as much as JJ. If you miss him that much, maybe you should talk to your family and reconsider....?


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## Karlysmom (Sep 4, 2009)

So sorry to hear you had to give him back. I know you must be hurting, that would break my heart.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Derp said:


> Yeah, everything was made for the best decision for him. By 4 hours, I mean at a time, he would be alone for 4 hours. Then my dad would come home to take him out to pee/poop, eat, and play a little. Then my dad would go back to work and leave him in his crate for another 4 hours until my brother and I came home. We decided it wasn't good for Teddy to be alone all that time.


I'm sorry you had to return Teddy. I'm not judging you or your family, but the schedule you described in your post sounds like the average day for a lot of puppies, including my own over the years.


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## Maddie'sMom2011 (Apr 26, 2011)

That's how long Maddie was left alone when we first got her. She's had house privileges since July and has done just fine. We do have a doggie door & a fenced in yard.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

Well, the thing is, my dad might have meetings, or might have to go to other places for his work. So he'll be left alone for 8 hours. What will we do then? I can still take him back if we know what to do with future problems.


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## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

I think 8 hours+ is a lot. I think you made the right decision. It does hurt though. 

Maybe you could rescue a kitten one day. Then a dog when your schedule work out differently one day.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

jackie_hubert said:


> I think 8 hours+ is a lot. I think you made the right decision. It does hurt though.
> 
> Maybe you could rescue a kitten one day. Then a dog when your schedule work out differently one day.


I disagree about it being the right decision. There are at least 2 solutions to this problem: puppy daycare or a dog walker who can come once a day. This whole situation coud have been thought out in advance. I'm just glad the pup is still young enough to bond with another family. I may sound harsh, but there are just days when I get tired of people using the convenience excuse for not owning up to the responsibility of bringing a dog, puppy, baby, whatever into their lives.

Stepping of my soap box...


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## aerolor (May 27, 2011)

Derp said:


> Well, the thing is, my dad might have meetings, or might have to go to other places for his work. So he'll be left alone for 8 hours. What will we do then? I can still take him back if we know what to do with future problems.


I think you and your family made the right decision. 8 hours or more is way too long for a pup to be left and it is better to realise this sooner than later. Best wishes.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

ggdenny said:


> I disagree about it being the right decision. There are at least 2 solutions to this problem: puppy daycare or a dog walker who can come once a day. This whole situation coud have been thought out in advance. I'm just glad the pup is still young enough to bond with another family. I may sound harsh, but there are just days when I get tired of people using the convenience excuse for not owning up to the responsibility of bringing a dog, puppy, baby, whatever into their lives.
> 
> Stepping of my soap box...


First let me say that I agree 100% on principle. I think most of the biggest problems in this country today could probably be traced back to a society with way too many people who won't take responsibility for themselves or their dependents whether it's a child or animal. And it's frustrating. 

However, I think most of us forget or may never have realized what a shock it can be to bring home a golden puppy. (I know this is speculation, but....) If the parents haven't ever had a dog, they probably had no idea the amount of work required to do the job correctly. Even people who research carefully and have done it before are usually taken aback at the energy of a golden. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but while it maybe ok to crate a puppy for 8 - 10 hours a day, it's hardly ideal. Especially if the family then comes home and has to take kids to practice or a job or other activities. It leaves very little time to exercise or train and if the dog isn't a priorty it's probably not getting done. Although a dog walker or doggy day care is an excellent idea, these resources cost money and in our current economy I understand that it may be more than the average family can swing if they have kids. Training classes can be pretty costly too. Yes, all this should be taken into consideration prior to purchasing a puppy, but I do think our current economy has made some huge changes in a lot of our lives.


I would like to argue that the problem probably lies with the breeder selling to this family in the first place. This poster didn't have a fenced yard and stated a few months back that the parents weren't able to put out the money to fence it even partially. I suspect that they aren't experienced dog owners if they would consider bringing a high energy golden puppy home to family situation with extremely busy parents and no fence to help with excersise and potty training. More careful screening probably would've revealed that this wasn't the ideal home for that puppy in the first place. And yes, I know it's possible to have a dog without a fence, I've done it myself, but it was before I had kids. My dog was my family, but even then it was a big responsibility.


The reality is that (strange and wrong as it may seem to us) most people in the world simply don't place a dog as a high enough priority to make the sacrifice needed to give it a really good life in this situation. I have to say I am just really, really glad that they were responsible enough to do what was REALLY BEST for this puppy and let the breeder have him back.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

ggdenny said:


> I disagree about it being the right decision. There are at least 2 solutions to this problem: puppy daycare or a dog walker who can come once a day. This whole situation coud have been thought out in advance. I'm just glad the pup is still young enough to bond with another family. I may sound harsh, but there are just days when I get tired of people using the convenience excuse for not owning up to the responsibility of bringing a dog, puppy, baby, whatever into their lives.
> 
> Stepping of my soap box...


I agree with you about the solutions that could work, but that assumes the family is committed to making it work. I think that if a family is ready to give up a puppy after a month with it because they underestimated the work and their own commitment to him, it's probably best for the dog to be returned. If they're not willing to adjust now, that dog is almost certainly not going to get enough attention and training in the long run.

The beauty of getting a dog from a great breeder is that you sign a contract that states you can (and must) return the dog to the breeder if you can't take care of him. The breeder can then care for the dog properly and place him. It's _very_ different than a shelter dump.

So in this situation, it's probably better for the dog in the long run to be returned to a caring breeder and placed with people who can do better by him.

If this were _my_ dog, I'd move heaven and earth to make sure I could keep him and do right by him. But it doesn't sound like this family has put him that high on the priority list.


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## JDK (Jul 30, 2011)

@nolefan - Well said.

@Derp - 8 hours straight is to long for a dog that young. Some will argue it's to long for a dog at any age, but neither here nor there, if the dog can't be let out, played with, and fed mid-day, it's not a good idea to have him and your parents made a good decision. While dog walkers come in handy for this, it's not always financially possible. Right now, you are the biggest priority in your parents life, and adding a dog into the mix may have just been to much to handle.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

OOoh, well said TippyK, you did a great job expressing what I was trying to get out in half the words


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## Sterling Archer (Feb 8, 2011)

ggdenny said:


> I'm sorry you had to return Teddy. I'm not judging you or your family, but the schedule you described in your post sounds like the average day for a lot of puppies, including my own over the years.


Yup. That's how both myself and a co-worker had to deal with our puppies. I ran home over lunch and spent a half hour or so with him. Granted not everyone has the flexibility to do that.



ggdenny said:


> I disagree about it being the right decision. *There are at least 2 solutions to this problem: puppy daycare or a dog walker who can come once a day*. _This whole situation coud have been thought out in advance._ I'm just glad the pup is still young enough to bond with another family. I may sound harsh, but there are just days when I get tired of people using the convenience excuse for not owning up to the responsibility of bringing a dog, puppy, baby, whatever into their lives.
> 
> Stepping of my soap box...


Neither of which are economically feasible for the average person. We spend ~$1,000/month on daycare...so yeah...throwing hundreds more at a dog sitting or walker wasn't happening.

You never know what their individual situation is. I know that many people run into one or more bread winners losing their job, having to take another job (which is less flexible), and that completely throws off their family dynamics.


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## akgolden (Jun 18, 2011)

Everyone has a life outside their pups and while we all want to be there every second for our pups sometimes it's not always feasible. While no one would want to leave a dog in a kennel for an extended period of time I can almost guarantee 99% of the people here are guilty of leaving their dog in it's kennel for longer than they wanted to on some days. It doesn't make you a bad pet owner it just means that something came up and you couldn't make it home. I know if I am going to be longer than I originally expected I will try and have a family member or friend swing in to let my pups out and play some.

Leaving a pup in the kennel for 8 hours on a rare occasion if it's unavoidable will not kill the pup. It's going to be just as happy to see you when you get home after 8 hours as it would be if you left for 20 minutes. It will still love you, want to play and follow you around.

The main downside that first comes to mind is at young ages are you are still working on them holding it. Chances are you will be having to clean up a messy kennel which is never fun but it's not the end of the world. 




ggdenny said:


> I disagree about it being the right decision. There are at least 2 solutions to this problem: puppy daycare or a dog walker who can come once a day. This whole situation coud have been thought out in advance. I'm just glad the pup is still young enough to bond with another family. I may sound harsh, but there are just days when I get tired of people using the convenience excuse for not owning up to the responsibility of bringing a dog, puppy, baby, whatever into their lives.
> 
> Stepping of my soap box...





Derp said:


> Yeah, everything was made for the best decision for him. By 4 hours, I mean at a time, he would be alone for 4 hours. Then my dad would come home to take him out to pee/poop, eat, and play a little. Then my dad would go back to work and leave him in his crate for another 4 hours until my brother and I came home. We decided it wasn't good for Teddy to be alone all that time.


Honestly unless you are a stay at home mom or work from home this is very common and on par with most family's that work. Yes it would be great to have more play time during the day but as long as the pup gets out when your dad came home and did it's business and got to run around a little bit I think he would have been just fine. Puppys are growing like weeks in the first year and love their naps. If you dad took him out, let him potty and ran him for 20-30 minutes chances are he would crash pretty quickly after your dad went back to work. 

Once the family is home is when you would really want to make use of your time. Every night dedicate an hour of "puppy time". Take the pup out for a walk, throw a ball, tug of war, training.. anything that's going to stimulate it's mind and body. 

Just my 2 cents, not trying to make offend or make choices for people but I don't think your situation was to far out of the "norm"


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

It sounds do-able to me too but I suspect there might be other things going on here. Regardless of the reasons, stated or otherwise, no one can FORCE a good home on a puppy. It's either there or it isn't. So before we judge too harshly, we need to remember that maybe not all the facts are known.

I'm sorry that you have to give up your puppy. Someday you'll be in a position to make your own choices. Maybe a Golden puppy will be a good fit for you then. (((((hugs))))))


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

Heck - we both worked full time when we got Comet and again with Jax. With Comet, our house was really close to where I worked, so I was able to run home and spend 1/2 hour with him in the middle of the day without taking more than an hour off of work for lunch.

With Jax, I was working 35 miles away and Andy was around 20 miles, so running home wasn't an option. Andy's schedule rotates, so we'd just figure out the days when nobody would be home for over 4 hours, and we left him with Andy's mom for those days. 

If it's really important, you work it out, and you sacrifice something other than the dog. It's about priorities. A Golden Retriever needs to be a relatively high priority if he's going to be a happy, healthy, well-trained companion. There are lots of families who have a stay-at-home adult, but if there are too many things going on at the house (toddlers, for example), the dog can still fall too low in the priorities and not get enough training, exercise, and socialization.

It's about priorities as much as it's about scheduling.


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## Deb_Bayne (Mar 18, 2011)

You made the perfect decision for YOU! If I had a change in circumstances that would have left Bayne in his crate for 4 hour stretches at a time I would have done the same as you. I would not go the puppy daycare or walkers for the same reason I never had kids, I don't believe in someone else raising them just because work got in the way and essentially this is what would be happening.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

Well, I found out that my dad can come for lunch periods. And in the case my dad can't, my mom would be able to work from home. I guess that could work.


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## MPHW (Apr 16, 2011)

I love my puppy, but if someone had told me 8 months ago what I would have had to give up in order to raise him the way we are raising him, I would have decided against it. It is overwhelming. I love Rudi so much, my heart hurts sometimes when I look at him. And we have everything going for us that makes it 'easy'. My husband works from home, we have no kids and we both have flexible jobs. I can understand that Derp's family may have felt overwhelmed with the additional responsibility. Personally, after reading a bunch of books and talking to people for MONTHS about getting a puppy, I had no idea what I was getting into until we got him. That puppy may be better off going to a family that can give him what he needs. None of us know the challenges that Derp's familly is facing around this. Best of luck Derp.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Derp said:


> Well, I found out that my dad can come for lunch periods. And in the case my dad can't, my mom would be able to work from home. I guess that could work.


This sounds like a fine solution! Maybe a neighbor could help out once in a while if there's a crisis? Or a family member, if anyone is close enough?

I so hope for you that your family finds a way to keep your little one. It sounds like you love him a lot.

The situation may not be ideal, but I agree with many who note that it's closer to the norm than a lot of GRF people would like. Maybe one of the reasons we have so many Goldens in shelters and rescues is that expectations are so very high that people give up out of guilt. The GRF members who are the most devoted to their dogs probably do more parenting for their pups than many families do for their human children. I am happy for them and their dogs that they can manage that level of care, but I don't think most people can and that doesn't mean they shouldn't have dogs.


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## kdel (Jul 26, 2011)

Derp said:


> Well, I found out that my dad can come for lunch periods. And in the case my dad can't, my mom would be able to work from home. I guess that could work.


So, are you getting him back?


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

Passing negative judgement does nothing but add salt to the hearbreak. Giving up a 3 month old puppy has a lot better chance of being rehomed than a year old out of control sad dog ...

Take it from a cat person here ... This had been 100 times harder than dealing with my 3 kid's who were born within 5 years of each other. I admire anyone who can devote their lives to a puppy, or have the means to hire people ... But that's not the reality for most. the dog has to fit into our lives ... And for someone to say that it may not be feasible after a few weeks, rather than a few months or years ... Well, I admire that because they are putting the dog before them. not many do that.

I hope that whatever happens, it will be met with support, not judgement. Anyone who is critical ... Let me ask you this ... Will YOU take the puppy?


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Stressedgoldenmom you have some good points there, but it is sad to see posts like this at least once a week and there was not any major change in those people life so they have to adjust, all of sudden it is too much work, I'll go easy and just give up on puppy.
You are right, the dog has to fit into our lives but we should think about fit before not after.


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## akgolden (Jun 18, 2011)

Stressedgoldenmom said:


> Passing negative judgement does nothing but add salt to the hearbreak. Giving up a 3 month old puppy has a lot better chance of being rehomed than a year old out of control sad dog ...
> 
> Take it from a cat person here ... This had been 100 times harder than dealing with my 3 kid's who were born within 5 years of each other. I admire anyone who can devote their lives to a puppy, or have the means to hire people ... But that's not the reality for most. the dog has to fit into our lives ... And for someone to say that it may not be feasible after a few weeks, rather than a few months or years ... Well, I admire that because they are putting the dog before them. not many do that.
> 
> I hope that whatever happens, it will be met with support, not judgement. Anyone who is critical ... Let me ask you this ... Will YOU take the puppy?


I don't think anyone was trying to be negative (i know thats not what my intent was), just expressing their opinions on the topic. From most of the posts it seems most would agree that their schedule is pretty standard, which was the main argument for why the puppy was taken back in the first place.

No animal is every going to simple come into a family house and fit in perfectly with someones schedule. Part of owning a pet is making some sacrifices and adjustments to your life to better provide for that animal. I fully support the OP in that if they truly believe it was the best choice, then they should stick with their decision, but I think most will agree that for the original reason posted it was a poor choice. 

It is pretty obvious that the OP really misses the dog and wanted to keep it and most people responding were sharing their experiences and trying to explain that their situation is pretty normal and that the puppy would have been just fine. 



> Take it from a cat person here ... This had been 100 times harder than dealing with my 3 kid's who were born within 5 years of each other.


This confused me and made me chuckle all at the same time.. Not sure what you are trying to get at here. Are you saying seeing an animal go is harder than a child?


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

My worry is that this family will be guilted into keeping the puppy, say they will adjust and then life gets in the way and puppy will suffer as a result. if changes need to be made, then they need to be concrete changes that will be strictly adhered to ... And we all know how people like to make changes ... Right?


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

Puppies are different from babies and nothing gets me more annoyed than people comparing raising a puppy to raising a baby.

Babies are easy.


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## akgolden (Jun 18, 2011)

I don't think anyone compared it to raising a baby (didn't go back and re-read every single post though). Raising a child taken every minute of your day with constant attention and supervision. How is that easier than say a puppy you can let rest for hours at a time in a kennel?


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

Whatever .. I'm glad that I could deflect some of the criticism from the OP 

I wonder how thorough the breeder was in interviewing the family ... Ours was TOUGH!!


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## akgolden (Jun 18, 2011)

Constructive criticism is ok, it helps people see other sides and views to a topic. No one was trying to be rude or disrespectful, quite the opposite really most were trying to show the OP that keeping the dog would have been ok and the dog would have been just fine. This is exactly what the OP is wanting. 


Sorry to have gotten you "flustered". Enjoy being super mom =)


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## SeaMonster (Jul 4, 2011)

your schedule matches ours exactly. 4 hours alone, 30 minutes pee break mid-day, then 4 hours alone. I think thats OK as long as once you get home in the evening you spend all your tie with him/her. I think this schedule is great for preventing separation issues and puppy gets used to it so fast. if your schedule ever changes, you'll have a hard time getting the puppy on a new schedule.


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## dexter0125 (Mar 20, 2011)

When I first got Dexter I was driving back and forth to school (an hour away) three times a week. I had class from 9-4. I lived with my parents, and they were able to let him out in the mornings until they left for work and come home for 30min to an hour every day at lunch to let him out and fed him lunch. It wasn't ideal, and I absolutely didn't get to spend the time with him I wanted..but we made it work. I knew this going in, though. Now I live in an apartment at school this year and he is only in his bed a few hours at the time, but he is older now too.

I'm sure your parents did what they felt was right. I don't think it is fair for people to say your family made the wrong decision. I'm glad your breeder was willing to take the puppy back in an effort to try to rehome him. I hope you are able to work something out to get him back. Where there is will, there is a way.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

I never knew that would be a good schedule for Teddy. Oh my God, I hope we can still get our pup back. If we can't, I'll never forgive myself for being so stupid.


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## newport (Aug 8, 2011)

It is good you decided when he is younger not older..... I am sure someone will love to have Teddy and give him the attention he needs to grow up into a wonderful dog.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Derp said:


> I never knew that would be a good schedule for Teddy. Oh my God, I hope we can still get our pup back. If we can't, I'll never forgive myself for being so stupid.


Did you talk to your breeder about the schedule? Or did your parents? (Forgive me, I can't tell from your posts how old you are). 

Can you give us a little more info about how Teddy's first few weeks at your home went, and what exactly prompted the return to the breeder?


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

Derp said:


> I never knew that would be a good schedule for Teddy. Oh my God, I hope we can still get our pup back. If we can't, I'll never forgive myself for being so stupid.


You're not stupid. I take it he's back at the breeder now? If you are unable to get him back, you must move on ... Reassess and maybe in awhile you can try again.


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## Emma&Tilly (May 15, 2005)

I would absolutely agree that 8 hours alone on a regular basis is far too long for a puppy and the right decision has been made...the puppy's needs have been put first which is a very brave and selfless decision.


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## JDK (Jul 30, 2011)

When commenting on the situation, we should all keep in mind that we don't know the whole story and can only go on what we're told. Was Teddy returned cause the family just didn't have the time as mentioned, or did the family come to find out that it wasn't financially possible to take care of him on top of their other obligations? The OP poster sounds young, and it's possible the parents aren't telling them the whole story. Young kids don't really understand the concept of money yet, and trying to explain to them that you can't afford something is like talking to a wall.

Is the breeder local? Since you and your family spent a few months with the pup and grew attached to him in that short time, maybe you should see if your parents can talk to the breeder and work something out where you guys can go visit Teddy every so often until he goes to another home. Like a play date. Maybe the new owners would even be willing to let you stop by once in awhile, if they were local. If it were me and I was the breeder, I would gladly let you stop by and play with Teddy, given the situation. Hell, even if I was the new owner who took Teddy and I knew about what happened, I'd probably extend an invitation to you and your family to swing by and visit, that way he wasn't entirely out of your life. Plus, you and your family coming to visit would help with him socialization, so it would be a win-win situation. I've had a dog before that I had to give up, so I know how hard it can be. I had always wished there was a way I could of went and visited him, but the new owner was just to far away.


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## Deb_Bayne (Mar 18, 2011)

Buddy's mom forever said:


> the dog has to fit into our lives but we should think about fit before not after.


How does one know for sure if it fits before the experience? I did a lot of research about having a Golden and thought I knew what having a puppy would be like since I'm no stranger to dogs in my life growing up. But, when reality hit and we had this lively puppy that takes up so much of our time, at least with kids you can put them down for naps or in a play pen and put a diaper on them. But with a puppy you have to exercise them, walk them, introduce them to everything at such an early age and they grow up a lot faster than kids do. By 9 months our puppy is already an adolescent with little preparation for us to know what that brings. Believe me, there were many times and still are where I haven't entertained the thought of rehoming Bayne, but then I look into his eyes and see the love there that I couldn't bear to miss his daily unconditional love.


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## aerolor (May 27, 2011)

Emma&Tilly said:


> I would absolutely agree that 8 hours alone on a regular basis is far too long for a puppy and the right decision has been made...the puppy's needs have been put first which is a very brave and selfless decision.


I couldn't agree more - even with a half hour break mid-day it is not a good situation for a puppy to be put into.


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## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

FYI, if you click on the dot next to a person's name you can see all their previous posts. I usually read previous posts before commenting to give some context, as in this case.


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## aerolor (May 27, 2011)

jackie_hubert said:


> FYI, if you click on the dot next to a person's name you can see all their previous posts. I usually read previous posts before commenting to give some context, as in this case.


I am not sure if your post was intended for me or not Jackie, but thank you for the informaton anyway. I didn't know about the button, but I have read this thread from the beginning.


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## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

Just a general remark


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## doggiedad (Aug 27, 2011)

you returned your pup because the pup would be left
alone for 4 hours. that's not even close to the reason
why you returned the dog. shame on you and your family.



Derp said:


> It's a very sad week, my family had to return our cute 3 month old Golden, all because of my mom's job, which will probably appear in a few months.
> 
> Basically it is that he would be alone for about 4 hours at a time in the morning a day, and we felt bad and returned him back to the breeder. I feel so sad, I miss him so much, all the memories of him being naughty, and innocent are coming back.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

doggiedad said:


> you returned your pup because the pup would be left
> alone for 4 hours. that's not even close to the reason
> why you returned the dog. shame on you and your family.


We didn't know that leaving our pup for 8 hours with a break in between would be ok. :/


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

No shame. ....shame on the judgmental strangers on message boards.


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## jackie_hubert (Jun 2, 2010)

Derp said:


> We didn't know that leaving our pup for 8 hours with a break in between would be ok. :/


I think you can make it work but I still wouldn't. I think you made a wise decision. If most or all the work with the dog would fall on you that could be really tough.

Whatever the final choice I hope things work out well!


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## JDK (Jul 30, 2011)

8 hours with a break in between isn't that bad, but there's much more to it then just that. That schedule is good only if your able to come home and devote your time to the puppy for the rest of the night. We don't know what your and your parents schedule is like. For example, if you play sports or have after school activities, that takes time away from the puppy, or if your parents are working jobs where overtime is a common thing, there's less time to care for the pup, especially when they have to care for you first (dinner, laundry, homework, etc).

Whatever the reason was for returning Teddy, your parents had a doubt they could devote the time to care for him, so they did the right thing and returned him instead of keeping him and possibly neglecting him.


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## kdel (Jul 26, 2011)

doggiedad said:


> you returned your pup because the pup would be left
> alone for 4 hours. that's not even close to the reason
> why you returned the dog. shame on you and your family.


If you read the whole thread I'm pretty sure this is a kid we are responding to here and one that is hurting enough. 

Do you really feel the need to pour salt in the wound?


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## Stressedgoldenmom (Aug 2, 2011)

kdel said:


> If you read the whole thread I'm pretty sure this is a kid we are responding to here and one that is hurting enough.
> 
> Do you really feel the need to pour salt in the wound?


My statement to doggiedad is ... Instead of throwing shame around, why not offer to help?


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## mayapaya (Sep 28, 2011)

It's clear to me after reading these posts that there are alot of opinions and further, people are very passionate about their opinions. In any case, I think when you make a decision to bring any animal into your family, you need to make that decision intelligently, and further fulfill your commitment to caring for the animal. Whether that means keeping your dog, and making the sacrifices, or returning your dog so it can properly cared for by someone else. I hope that you and your family can get through this difficult time, and keep communicating with each other about your feelings. Perhaps sharing some of the things you have learned here with your parents and siblings would help?


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

I think it's disappointing to read some of the negativity on this thread, but it is also heartening to read all of the helpful, thoughtful replies.

My feelings on this matter are this: if the family does not think they can provide what is necessary to a puppy, then by all means they should return it to the breeder. Why are we making someone feel pressure to keep a dog that they themselves don't think they can care for? Do we... WANT to see this dog ending up tied up in the back yard 24/7? Derp, I'm so not saying that that's what your family would end up doing, I just don't get some of the replies here. If someone says they can't take care of a dog why on earth would we take it upon ourselves to guilt them into reconsidering? 

I would much rather see the puppy be rehomed to a family who is certain they can take care of the dog than stay with a family who isn't really sure if they're ready for a puppy.

To the OP: I know you must be feeling pain and I am sorry your family had to make this decision. It sounds like you may be reconsidering your decision, and if you and your family can firmly decide that you're able to care for this puppy, I wish you all the best.  It is a life long commitment, but so worth it. And for what it's worth, the puppy stage doesn't last forever. I leave my dog alone for 8 hours a day and she's fine. Granted, it's only temporary and it's definitely not what I prefer for her, but it is doable once they're older.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

It wasn't about taking care of Teddy. He's been great and we've took care of him for over a month now. It was just this job that got us into to giving him back. There were so many things that could happen. I mean, my dad's going out of state for around 2 weeks, and by then, my mom could get her job, and teddy would've been left for 8 horus straight. Those small things got us into returning him. I came here for advice, and even if you did give negative advice, all the advice is helpful.


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## ggdenny (Nov 2, 2008)

Is your family considering keeping him and working it out? If so, awesome. If not don't let the negativity here get you down.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

ggdenny said:


> Is your family considering keeping him and working it out? If so, awesome. If not don't let the negativity here get you down.


Well, I was thinking this could work out. But my family keeps on throwing out new problems. For example, I posted a new problem in the post above.


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## dexter0125 (Mar 20, 2011)

Just enjoy the memories you've had with him. Your family did what was right for YOUR family and Teddy. Don't let others make you feel like your parents made the wrong decision. One day, there will come a time when your family has a schedule worked out and you will be able to get a dog to love, care for, and play with the way you did Teddy. The timing just wasn't right this time. I'm sure the breeder will see to it that he goes to a loving family if you are unable to get him back.


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## JDK (Jul 30, 2011)

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

I still think you should get in contact with the breeder and see if they would allow you to come visit Teddy until he's placed in a home. I'm sure Teddy misses your family just as much as you guys miss him. If you get yourself in there now, make good friends with the breeder, and show that you really care about the welfare of Teddy, who knows, maybe the new owner would allow you to swing by once in awhile for a play date. That way, he's not completely out of your life. Depending on your age, somebody like who is who I want to be my dog walker for Teddy, due to your situation and history with him. You're not "just a dog walker". Your somebody who I would be able to trust with him 100% cause at one time, he was yours. So I would expect you to treat him as if he still was. Is the breeder local? If allowed, is it close enough to where you and your parents could swing by once in awhile to say hi to Teddy?

It's hard to see a young kid lose a pet they were so happy to have. The breeder should be able to understand that.


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## Derp (Jul 17, 2011)

JDK said:


> How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
> 
> I still think you should get in contact with the breeder and see if they would allow you to come visit Teddy until he's placed in a home. I'm sure Teddy misses your family just as much as you guys miss him. If you get yourself in there now, make good friends with the breeder, and show that you really care about the welfare of Teddy, who knows, maybe the new owner would allow you to swing by once in awhile for a play date. That way, he's not completely out of your life. Depending on your age, somebody like who is who I want to be my dog walker for Teddy, due to your situation and history with him. You're not "just a dog walker". Your somebody who I would be able to trust with him 100% cause at one time, he was yours. So I would expect you to treat him as if he still was. Is the breeder local? If allowed, is it close enough to where you and your parents could swing by once in awhile to say hi to Teddy?
> 
> It's hard to see a young kid lose a pet they were so happy to have. The breeder should be able to understand that.



I'm 15.

The breeder is local, and before we gave him back, that was the one thing we confirmed with the breeder; to allow us to visit him on a basis.


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## ozzy'smom (Jun 18, 2011)

I agree that your family did what was best for you all. It's better that your pup goes to the breeder who will see about finding him an appropriate home. I'm sure this wasn't an easy decision.


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## JDK (Jul 30, 2011)

Derp said:


> I'm 15.
> 
> The breeder is local, and before we gave him back, that was the one thing we confirmed with the breeder; to allow us to visit him on a basis.


Don't pass on the chance to do so. The breeder may grow fond of Teddy and decide to keep him, allowing you to spend even more time with him. I know one breeder who, if she still has puppys after 5 months, keeps them herself cause she can't bare to let them go after spending some much time with them. Not to mention, a lot of people who contact breeders are looking for puppies a few weeks old and not usually one that's 4-5 months, so it becomes slightly harder to place them in a home.

Go and spend some time with Teddy. Help him adapt to the big world. Maybe even train him some, that way when and if he does go to another home, he's a well behaved boy and the owners will have you to thank for it. You'll feel good about it all in the end.


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## Emma&Tilly (May 15, 2005)

doggiedad said:


> you returned your pup because the pup would be left
> alone for 4 hours. that's not even close to the reason
> why you returned the dog. shame on you and your family.


erm...if you went to most rescue centres in this country and told them you were prepared to leave a puppy for 8 hours daily then they would not let you even adopt a homeless dog...nevermind breeders with puppies. Some people are still of that old fashioned view that you are to spend time with a puppy through the day. This puppy would not be left for 4 hours but a total of 8 hours...with one short toilet break inbetween. The family have obviously realised that this is not a fair schedule for a new puppy to be left alone for such extended periods...everyone has different standards in what is appropriate in animal care and I must say, I am right with the family on this one. Well done for knowing what is best for your puppy and acting on it.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

Derp said:


> It wasn't about taking care of Teddy. He's been great and we've took care of him for over a month now. It was just this job that got us into to giving him back. There were so many things that could happen. I mean, my dad's going out of state for around 2 weeks, and by then, my mom could get her job, and teddy would've been left for 8 horus straight. Those small things got us into returning him. I came here for advice, and even if you did give negative advice, all the advice is helpful.


So it sounds to me like your family's situation _changed_ from when you first decided to bring home the puppy. When you first planned to bring home the pup, your mum was going to be home all day. But now your mother is going to be starting a new job.

I think it sounds like your family did the responsible thing and the right thing for your family. Unless the whole family is on board, it's just maybe not the right time to have a puppy. Puppies are a lot of work and need a lot of attention, especially in their first few months. I'm glad your breeder could take Teddy back, and I'm sure he or she will find him a good home. 

Maybe at some point you and your family could consider rescuing an older dog, like a one or two year old, who is already housetrained. 

Take care - I think you've handled yourself really well here. And I hope you get to have a dog at some point.


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## Golden Lady (Aug 30, 2011)

I know it's very hard to give Teddy back, but it sounds like your lives are very busy. Pups need attention. Sorry it didn't work out.


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## ozzy'smom (Jun 18, 2011)

Sweet Girl said:


> Take care - I think you've handled yourself really well here. And I hope you get to have a dog at some point.


I couldn't agree more. What a mature, level headed 15 year old!


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## dexter0125 (Mar 20, 2011)

So glad Teddy will be local and you will have the opportunity to visit him. Do it. Like someone else said, the breeder may be inclined to keep him. I know my breeder kept a girl that was returned, she fell in love with her all over again and couldn't bare to let her go. If that happened in his case, maybe you'd get to see him often and walk her dogs or something. If she doesn't keep Teddy but sees your dedication to him, maybe when she has her next litter, if your family is in a situation where it could be worked out, maybe she'd let you know and you could get one of those puppies.

I'm sorry you received any negative comments, like I said before, your parents did what was right for your family and Teddy. You are a very mature 15 year old. Keep it up.


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