# Help me Choose Male or Female!



## DCC5911 (Jul 23, 2012)

Hello I am a stay at home mom right now with a 15 month old who has been around dogs and loves them, and after a lot of thought we have decided to go with a Golden! We found a great breeder and are possibly putting a deposit down later this week and I was all ready and wanting a male (thought it would be good for my husband to have another male in the house!) and also I want a boy too! BUT then after talking to some family members they sort of talked us of of getting a male mostly because of the possible spraying and the humping and that kind of stuff. Neither of us have anything against getting a female and part of me thinks they might be better around a toddler and maybe be more protective to my daughter later on. I realize that whether it's a male or a female puppies are going to be puppies and all the stuff that comes with them I am fully aware of. So are we better off getting male or female? Thanks!


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## monarchs_joy (Aug 13, 2011)

I've had females and currently have a male. My female humped WAY more than my male does. Imo, it's what you teach them as a puppy. My female was a rescue and came with the humping habit.... daily. No pillow was safe. My male is a puppy (7 months). We've taught him no humping, so he doesn't hump. I don't know about spraying. We haven't had that issue. There are several threads on the forum about male versus female that you can search. I think the general rule is that it's just personal preference. Congrats on your new puppy! They're a lot of work, especially the mouthing, but its worth it.


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## inge (Sep 20, 2009)

I have two girls and I love it, but you will get the same answer from people with a male. People say males are more affectionate, I don't know about that, because both my girls are cuddle bugs. I don't think gender would influence being more or less protective towards your daughter. Be aware that Golden puppes are notorious landsharks, so you will have to separate your toddler from the puppy!


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

Male's don't 'spray' like a hamster would.. they 'mark' and SOME have tried to mark inside but a quick re direction and you're good. Male's will mark out in the world, on walks, at the park but I personally don't view it as a big deal. As for the humping.. females hump too  It's not always a sexual thing, it can be excitement, some say 'domincance', some just like to hump! It can start at any age too.. people often freak out because their sweet adorable 8week old pup is violently humping the stuffed toy they have... it's mostly an excitement thing.. but like I said female can hump just as much if not MORE than males.

My Joey marked on walks and at the park until we got him fixed, after that he only marks when he's at his day camp or at a place where lots of dogs are. He also has very rarely humped.. He humped a toy like 3 times as a puppy... never humps other dogs or people. One of his 'girlfriends' humps everyone and everything! lol

Gender is always a personal preference for people  Some have 2 girls, 2 boys, 1 boy and 1 girl..


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## DCC5911 (Jul 23, 2012)

inge said:


> I have two girls and I love it, but you will get the same answer from people with a male. People say males are more affectionate, I don't know about that, because both my girls are cuddle bugs. I don't think gender would influence being more or less protective towards your daughter. Be aware that Golden puppes are notorious landsharks, so you will have to separate your toddler from the puppy!


hehe landshark... yeah I sort of figured that, the breeder told us to crate him/her while doing things around the house when I couldn't keep an eye on both of them, I was very surprised that the pups we played with yesterday were not very bitey...except for one. Ugh! It's going to be a tough decision I guess!


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## jaxdepo (Jun 21, 2012)

we were on the fence too when we picked out Jax. Our breeder let us know that either one is going to be amazing but IF there was a difference and she said IF. It would be that Females ( as in all creatures) can be "bitchy" and tend to side more with the male of the household. She said now that this will not always be the case but it can be that whole too many females int he house syndrome. She also did say the Males are more affectionate which really surprised me. However, I think it always depends on the dog and the owner.


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## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

I've had two female dogs who were terrible humpers, and my last dog, Bruce was a male and never once humped anything.

My current golden puppy is a boy. He has one stuffed toy that he humps. At least, when I first brought him home, he did it all the time. Now that he's significantly bigger than the toy, he doesn't do it as much.

He tried to hump my husband's leg once, but stopped as soon as we reprimanded him verbally. We have a boy dog so that my husband isn't quite so outnumbered...being the only male in a houseful of girls. LOL! But also because we both like the looks of males (big and stocky with the blocky head) and because we wanted an affectionate dog and had heard that male goldens as a general rule could be more affectionate than females. I don't know if that's true or not, but so far our boy is a definite people person/cuddler.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I prefer boys.... :wave: 

They do not spray like cats do. It's more of a lifting their legs up to pee on stuff vs squatting and peeing. 

And if you just have one dog, odds are they may not learn to mark prior to being neutered. 

The mounting behaviors - male or female, they do this... it's something that's easily corrected and stopped. Generally the dogs who are worst at this are those who were never corrected or allowed/encouraged in the behavior. 

I was reading something about some woman who was complaining about her crazy female dog who will come up and hump her leg. And the woman ALLOWS this while complaining about it. :bowl: 

Big thing to keep in mind - You need to keep the dog on leash or under control around your child. And you need to train your child not to climb on, pull on, hit, kick, take things away from, give things to the dog.


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

I have a female cuddle bug who is so affectionate that she likes to sleep with her head on me or curl into me. It's only me and my bf in our "household" but Molly is definitely my dog.. She is very attached to me. She doesn't hump and although I don't doubt that it happens, I have never seen a female hump. I'm leaning towards a girl for my second pup.


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## Mosby's Mom (Oct 19, 2011)

When we got Mo, I told the breeder we wanted a male, and the reason was that all the female dogs I had growing up were indeed quite moody, only wanted affection on their terms, etc. However, none of those dogs were Goldens, and most female Goldens I meet are very affectionate. Our male is now over 10 months, and he doesn't mark nor does he hump (and he only ever even tried to when he was a tiny puppy and excitedly playing). He is insanely cuddly, a big time momma's boy (although he runs to daddy for playtime), and I love him dearly.

I will say, he definitely is not protective whatsoever, and I haven't met many Goldens that are. He loves anyone and everyone, and would happily love on any intruder (should we ever have one).


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

I have had two females and 2 male Goldens. None of my males (1 intact and 1 not) humped or marked indoors. My males tended to be more affectionate and "connected" while both of my females both had an independent streak. All 4 were loving and special in their own way.
Go with the pup that the breeder recommends will be best for you. They live with the pups and will know their personalities better than you on a visit and can identify which will fit into your family the best.

Wishing you many happy moments with your new pup!


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

Mosby's Mom said:


> When we got Mo, I told the breeder we wanted a male, and the reason was that all the female dogs I had growing up were indeed quite moody, only wanted affection on their terms, etc. However, none of those dogs were Goldens, and most female Goldens I meet are very affectionate.


This was what I considered before deciding on a girl, that even if girls are more "aloof" and not as affectionate as a male golden, a golden girl has still got to be one of the most affectionate dogs because goldens in general are so affectionate.

My bf and I were webcaming with his brother and his gf's male shih tzu. They had to call their dog over and it was in another room. I was thinking, they have to call their dog from another room? Molly's always at my feet.

I think if you tell your breeder what you are looking for in a dog, the breeder will be able to choose for you and those traits may be in a female or in a male. I wasn't allowed to pick my puppy since her breeder picks them out for her puppy parents, but I was so surprised at how affectionate Molly was (because of all that I have read here that girls are not affectionate). When I told her breeder, she told me that Molly, Miss Purple, had always been a lap dog, since the day she learned to walk.


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

Chance has never humped anything or marked ever. In fact, he'll be 8 in September and he still squats.  Now Lucy, my Terrier, lifts her leg and marks everything. She also humps Chance's leg whenever he's asleep. :doh: So traits aren't necessarily exclusive to one sex or the other. Just depends on the dog...


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

First dog? Just my 2 cents but for a first time Golden go with a girl. 

Reason being they are more attentive and easier to train. Boys are more goofballs and can be a challenge. Just my "in general" thought. Can be the other way around too. Pick the one that chooses you. Either way you're Golden 

Speaking as a guy who has had 2 girls, one boy, my boy had me on my toes which I really liked. I have known many a Golden and the boys in general are goofy "love you" with the gals being more independent "love me". Every one is an individual of course so hard to say.

Me, I can't wait for another boy. Love the gals too, sorry if I confused you.


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## FeatherRiverSam (Aug 7, 2009)

GoldenCamper said:


> First dog? Just my 2 cents but for a first time Golden go with a girl.
> 
> Reason being they are more attentive and easier to train. Boys are more goofballs and can be a challenge. Just my "in general" thought. Can be the other way around too. Pick the one that chooses you. Either way you're Golden
> 
> ...


This has been my experience as well and is EXACTLY how I feel...

Pete


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## Lil_Burke (Aug 14, 2010)

Sawyer was my first boy after always having girl dogs growing up. My parents would never have a boy dog - I never understood why and I always said when I am an adult I will get a boy dog - and I did.

Truth be told, he is way more affectionate than any girl dog I owned. He wants to be with you all the time and snuggle - which I personally love, but some people might not. I found my girl dogs more independent. I guess I should also point out that Sawyer is my first golden so the breed in general may have something to do with it but yes I would have another boy in a heartbeat.

Sawyer only humped when he was really small - but it was only his toys. I honestly remember my girl dog humping more that Sawyer did! He tried to mark once in my parents' house but a firm "NO" stopped him from ever doing it again. Otherwise, he is a bit silly at times - but he is still technically a puppy (just a big one) I don't think puppy behavior changes based on whether it is a boy or a girl.

So if you want a boy - I'd say go for it!


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

I should add there was a poll here about the male/female thing. Happy reading to you.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/golden-retriever-polls/92463-male-female.html

I never responded with a post to that thread but I did vote. Boy! :curtain: hehe.


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## Wyatt's mommy (Feb 25, 2011)

I have only had males. One was independent the other goofy, one humped the other didn't.


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I have no preference. I have owned 3 male goldens and 2 female goldesn. I got the same love and affection from each. The one that showed the most gentleness, patience, and almost caring, was the one in my avatar, Hunter, lost at ag 4 years 2 months, to ProHeart6. He took everything in stride, took tomrment from his littermate sister and later our adopted Honey, and never attempted any retaliation, etc. He was alwasy one to share his food and toys.

But his ;littermate sister was just to sweet for words, a "chicken dog" that depending on protection from me. She had to hae both knees operated on 14 months apart and her brother, hunter woudl lay with her and lick her face. After his death, for the rest of her life she would spend time laying by his grave in our back yard. I took pictures of her there several times. 

All hve loved our grandkids. My first irish Setter--a stray--was great freidns with my house broken rabbit, Funny Bunny. After losing him I was given a male puppy, and he and our cat, Pippi, the rabbit I got later, Mr. Rabbit, and a chicken that adopted us, were great friends.

So me, all mine, no matter the breed, have been great dogs. Oh, I also owned male and female English Setters years ago, and the same goes for them. Whichever you chose , you will love it.


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## goldilover2650 (Jun 14, 2012)

I am sure you will be happy with either. The breeder can give you more info on their personalities which may sway you one way. I personally have had four females and will continue with females. Three were extremely affectionate. The one who wasn't cuddly had a sense of humor and personality to make up for it. And although she wasn't huggy/kissy she had to be in the same room as me at all times or at least in a spot where she could see me.

I also like the fact that females are generally smaller ...

Good luck and be sure and post pics of whichever sex you choose


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

Our first two Golden Retrievers were girls. We now have Max, a boy. All have been sweet and affectionate. The girls did some humping. Max occasionally will hump my leg, usually while we are playing ball/fetch in the backyard. He has never sprayed, and seldom lifts his leg to mark.

Of the three, Max is the most confident and calm. He is the best socialized. However, these differences are likely due to the difference in the breeders and where he was brought up as a young puppy.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

My Goldens, both males, never marked in the house or humped. My Yorkies, all females, do hump things but never people.

Depending on the breeder they may want a female puppy to go through at least 1 heat before getting spayed. Going into heat is a pain with little Yorkies I can only imagine the pain in the ass it must be with a Golden.

My point being females can make a mess the same as males.

My golden would back up the Yorkies but they have never been protective of people. My mama yorkie, Cozy, is very protective of her family but she is a terrier.

I would let the breeder guide you to the right pup for you and your family.


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

*Murphys mom*

Twenty years ago the breeder of my first Golden said the best pet you'll ever have is a neutered male. Casey was a gem, the sweetest boy you'd every meet. Four years later we brought home Kelly from the same breeder. Sweet but humped poor Casey every chance she got,,,had to let him know she was boss. A ferocious watch dog and protecter but a cuddler with her family. Sammy, a female, and a mutt from thirty five years ago was also and protective watch dog but not a cuddler at all.
Next was Shamus a Dogue de Bordeaux. Another male that was great with his family and such a devoted Love, yet protective too.
I now have 13 week old Murphy, a beautiful Golden. He's nothing like the first two. I real nippy puppy but loving when he's in the mood.

I'll always go for a male pup in the future. All pups are different even from the same breed.
You never know what you're going to get.....Good Luck! All my guys and girls were different but I loved all of them!!!!


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

I have two neutered boys, two spayed girls, and two intact girls. My boys have never humped people. The girls will hump the other girls when they are in heat. The boys, despite the fact their bits and pieces were removed before one year of age, will "breed" the girls when they are in heat(obviously I try to prevent it). However, my boys are dead loyal. One, Mick, always checks up on me and my husband if we are in separate rooms. Tiki and Emmie are mother and daughter and are very much alike. They both sit in our laps. Emmie and occasionally Tiki, sleep in our bed. Emmie always has to have her head on some part of my body when she sleeps, with us. I love both. But I think the boys are more in your face and mine have never been naughty in the house.


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## debra1704 (Feb 22, 2012)

Our last dog was a female & very devoted, so we wanted another female. Winter is glued to my side & is very affectionate. She "talks" to all of us when we get up in the morning and wants to be with us constantly, but is content if we leave the house and does not whine or cry in her crate. She is a BIG cuddler- 59 lb. lap dog. I also owned two male Pekingnese dogs who were neturered later (breeder had wanted them as show dogs, but they didn't develop as they expected) and one was a cuddly, fun clown and the other was aloof. I think it all depends on the dog.


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