# When to let go of your beloved dog



## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

This decision can be the hardest thing ever. I have found sometimes it's obvious and other times very difficult. Here's a post with a link to a guide about assessing quality of life. Go to the final post to get a link to a pdf, the original link no longer works.

https://www.goldenretrieverforum.co...breed-standard/440010-quality-life-scale.html

My heart goes out to you during this tough time. I wish you wisdom and peace.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm sorry your facing this decision with Logan, it's always been the most difficult thing I've ever had to do and I have been through it far more times than I have wanted to. 

The referenced link above is broken, I will update the thread it's in. 

Here's the updated link-

https://vet.osu.edu/vmc/sites/defau...cisions brocure-web layout (2019) digital.pdf


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## 204408 (Jul 24, 2019)

Long time lurker here, I just joined so I could reply because so many things you said resonated with me and I am deeply sorry you are going through this. I went through this with my 10 and half year old in January. He had squamous cell tumors surgically removed and later developed a brain tumor. Like you, I could not and would not allow him to suffer. I made my decision based on a whimper late at night that I heard for the first time in his life, this is while he was absorbing pain killer from a fentanyl patch the neurologist had given him. I can still hear that whimper. He had also been on a cocktail of Novox and Gabapentin, but it became obvious to me he was not getting pain relief and there were simply no additional options to help him. My boy had lost interest in his toys, but was still eating - I had been hand holding a dish of chicken broth, rice and ground up chicken thighs in kind of a gruel which he loved. No one but you and your family knows Logan better and whether he is comfortable and happy. You also caught my attention because I am on a list for another puppy and I thought about naming him Logan, its great name. My heart goes out to you.


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## NC Golden Lover (Jan 19, 2019)

Thank you for posting the very helpful article swag and Carolina Mom! I appreciate your kindness!!


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## Brodys Rockies (Jan 8, 2019)

Many of us on this site have been through what you're experiencing, though the illness may not be exactly the same. We lost our 11-year-old Golden, River, to cancer this past December 15th. Sadly, River was not the first pet we have put down. When River passed over, someone said something that stuck with me. "They never live as long as we would like." Sad, but so true! 

The link already shared regarding quality of life will hopefully be helpful. Like you, the last thing we wanted was for River to suffer. He had a cancerous tumor on his neck, which we had removed. The vet told us the lab results revealed River had an aggressive type of cancer that would return. Sadly, the tumor returned, but River lived 8 more wonderful months. Had anyone seen River, they would have never known he was ill until just a few days before we put him down. 

When the tumor returned, the last thing I wanted was for River to have difficulty breathing due to the size and location of the tumor. As the tumor grew in size, in time, it began to block his windpipe just enough that when he laid down on the floor on his stomach with his head flat, you could hear him having difficulty breathing. This was the beginning of my worst fears. Before his breathing became too labored, he stopped eating and stopped drinking water. He then began to throw up yellow-colored bile. His temperament changed from being happy and active to mopey, and he no longer greeted us when we came in the door. It became evident to us that his condition was declining quickly. 

*Each dog and situation will be a little different.* No one can answer your question perfectly because we aren't living with and experiencing exactly what you and Logan are going through...IMHO, the important thing is to keep your focus on what you think is best for Logan. There is such a fine line between your heart, hopes, and desires, and what is best for your dog. It's so easy to allow your emotions to get in the way of thinking about what is best for Logan. It's very challenging to keep clarity during times like this. Lastly, when you and your vet believe it's Logan's time to say goodbye, do your best to remember that letting him go is the last most loving thing you can do for Logan. Never second guess your decision. If you keep your focus on doing what is best for Logan, you have no reason for second-guessing. When the time comes, be with him, and do your best to comfort him. 

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this difficult time. Logan has given you many beautiful years and a lifetime of wonderful memories to carry with you the remainder of your life. Sadly, saying goodbye to one of these amazing gifts is the sad, painful part of experiencing all the years of love and joy they bring into our lives. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and Logan. God Bless!


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## MushyB (Oct 31, 2018)

I wish I had a magic answer for you, but there really isn't one. Only you know your boy, and know his habits/mannerisms. You're right about refusing food, but I had 2 dogs that would eat *for us* because we put it in front of them, despite them being in pain (one was my heart-dog, Charlie, and the other was the dog we rescued to help heal our hearts after losing Charlie, Timmi from Taiwan), so that might not be a sign you'd expect to see.

For us, it was the moans of pain. When Timmi was diagnosed with anal gland cancer, the vet at the emergency clinic assured us Timmi was on enough pain meds to keep him comfortable for a few days at home, as long as I was willing to give him subcutaneous fluids 2x/day (which I was). He was on 3 different meds for pain AND a patch, and he was still in pain. We had him at home for 18 hours, and realized that we were being too selfish in wanting to not let him go, and we *had* to let him go. We called our vet, and luckily for us, the vet had a lovely area, away from the main hustle and bustle that can be reached without going into the clinic that was calm, and peaceful, and outdoors (in the pouring rain, under a cover), that we were able to bring Timmi to right away. I hate myself a little for bringing him home and causing him more pain, but I'm pretty sure he forgives me (he loved having a family after living on the streets of Taiwan, he would have walked on hot coals for us). Someday I'll forgive myself.

We have a senior boy we adopted 2 years ago that is in the mid-end stages of degenerative myelopathy; he's still mobile, but starting to lose bladder control. He also has heart issues, and a recent X-ray alerted us to calcification on his lungs, so we are kind of day by day. I'm hoping we'll have the summer, but only as long as he is comfortable and pain-free. We'll see.

My heart goes out to you during this time. I'm sure almost everyone on this board has struggled with having to make this decision. But the most loving thing we can do is let them go when life isn't good for them any more. I hope the pdf on quality of life is helpful; it has been for me. Good luck, and sending virtual hugs {{{hugs}}}


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## Maggie'sVoice (Apr 4, 2018)

For me it's not very hard to know when in general. But it's very hard to actually make the choice. They depend on you for everything, food, water, shelter, vet care, love and when it's time, to make the right choice for them. It's very hard NOT to be selfish and want them to be with us no matter what. For me, it's once I know my dog isn't comfortable anymore, I make that call at that point. To me, if their comfort level is in question, that's when I know it's time.


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## ruthmg71 (Jul 24, 2019)

I just put my 6 year old Golden Jax down on Monday. He was diagnosed with a glioma brain tumor. I'm just devastated about it. He got to the point where his decline was fast within a week so for me it was easier to make the decision. I think it would definitely be harder to make that call when the onset is very slow.


Mark


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## LovedTessa (Jun 8, 2019)

Hi,
I think you have already found your answer, and you just needed to talk it out in a safe place.
Love is so hard on us and our pups.
I wish for you a place of peace and room to celebrate the joy you have shared as you take these final steps together.
My Tessa and I sat together for 3 hours until I was ready - I wanted to sit there forever with her on the floor of the exam room and watch her still make effort to wag for the techs and get up to say hi to her vet.
She was so beautiful and sweet. But her tongue was so painful she would not eat and there was no promise of better days ahead. She lived (oh did she LIVE!) just 5 days after her first birthday.
Hug your golden boy.

And my heart goes out to Jax and all our other golden stars...


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## dmo (Jun 2, 2019)

My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to let our puppies go. Our Sadie was diagnosed at Thanksgiving with hermangiocarcoma and my adoring vet said "you will now when it's time". Sadie lasted through the Holidays and we let her go on January 2 at 10 1/2. She had clearly given me the sign that she needed to rest. We were devastated to loose our little diva, but like everyone has said, it is the most loving thing we can do as they cannot let us know how much pain they are in. Unfortunately, just a few short months later, our Tucker was swimming in the pool Memorial Day weekend, but within a few days, would not eat his food. Tucker would eat anything in sight . . . so this was a huge red flag. A visit to the vet and xrays revealed cancer throughout his lungs. That was a Friday. We spent Saturday and Sunday at a specialty clinic trying to find another reason he was ill. Tucker went downhill so quickly. He was put to rest on the following Tuesday. He was only 8. We knew it was time when he refused all food and could not lay down to rest. We all know our puppies, and I do believe you will know when it is time. Not saying that it is easy that's for sure. But, one blessing is knowing that you will be there guiding them into rest when the end comes. My fear was that either of these wonderful puppies of ours would suffer greatly during the night. My best to you.


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## Lincgold (May 11, 2018)

I’m so sorry. So hard to let go. Our Katie passed at 5 from lymphoma, Daisy passed at 10 from Cushing’s disease, Seamus at 4 from kidney failure due to Lyme. With each one we had to make the decision and it was gut wrenching. Currently, our 11 year old is slowing down considerably as a result of a tumor in the upper chamber of his heart. He sleeps a lot and has little to no energy. Our vet says he’s not in pain, however. We hope he passes naturally here at home. I don’t want to have him put down. Our 1 year old, Bear, seems to know he’s not well. He doesn’t try to get him to play anymore and has been lying down next to him. So sad. 

Lincoln is on the left, Bear on the right in the picture.


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## truckinguy (Aug 19, 2017)

You'll know when to let go. Big factors for us was if he started to relieve himself inside. And stopped eating and just laid there. We had to finally put our Pemi down after a year and half of infrequent seizures and finally stopped eating then did and etc. slowly couldn't walk great. Just wasn't the same. He would come back and be himself during times we thought it was the end. Very frustrating. I'm glad we waited as we got months from him of pure happiness and we miss him so much it's aweful.


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## NC Golden Lover (Jan 19, 2019)

Thank you to all of you who responded with advice and kindness. It meant a lot to me! We are letting Logan go on Tuesday afternoon, and my husband and I feel we are doing the right thing. His cancer is progressing and has spread. We just hate seeing our beloved dog go down hill. Logan is still eating, drinking, and acting somewhat like his usual self. He is slow and you can see it in his eyes that he doesn't feel well. I am so grateful that our vet is coming to our house because Logan HATES going to the vet. I am at peace with the decision. Thanks again!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

NC Golden Lover, I am so very sorry. 
My thoughts are with you and your husband.


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## mzilke (May 4, 2019)

So very sorry the hear about Logan's health situation. Remember that you gave Logan a wonderful life and all your love. He will always be in your heart, always.


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## mzilke (May 4, 2019)

So very sorry about Jax.


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## dmo (Jun 2, 2019)

The best to all of you. My vet told me when we were figuring it out . . . it's in their eyes . . . you can look in them and just know.


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## mgarofano (Feb 18, 2019)

I can relate. Went through this for nearly 3 months last Winter. In the end I probably held on too long. Our Abby was 11 and developed liver disease, then anemia, then other complications. She wasn't eating, the last effort was steroids and she ate like crazy for about 6 weeks - then that stopped and drinking water stopped. And one night she collapsed and was breathing heavy and really didn't move much. I absolutely knew at that point it was time - next day I took her to the vet and we said goodbye. Like others have said, it's different for all the dogs - but it had been a while that she wasn't jumping on the couch anymore, not chasing her ball, not running, no car rides, all those "quality of life" things on the checklist. I just couldn't say goodbye - I guess I felt as long as she was eating and went outside to do her business she was "ok." But, in hindsight she just wasn't the same for quite some time. In the end, she was definitely ready to go - she went quickly and peacefully, no struggle. It was time for sure. It's been nearly 6 months since she's been gone and I'm still heartbroken. I still talk to her and sing to her and look for her every day.


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## Casco (Jan 21, 2019)

I was logging in just to reply after seeing your message on a “trending topics” email. You are absolutely doing the right thing. It is so much better to say goodbye before your pet is in extremis. I have done it both ways — planned and at home, and on an emergency basis in a vet’s office when I waited too long while trying to get a dog into a clinical trial. It is so hard to say goodbye, and it is so tempting to hold on too long, but you are doing the most loving thing possible. You are in my thoughts.


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## NC Golden Lover (Jan 19, 2019)

Yesterday, we let Logan go. Our vet came to our house and Logan went so peacefully. We spent the day doing all his favorites-going for a scenic walk around a lake, swimming, car ride, walk in our neighborhood, a body massage, yummy foods, and lots of love and affection. It was the perfect day to celebrate a dog that I loved so much. Logan was truly the best dog and one I will never forget. I hope I get to see him again. 

Thanks for all of your words of wisdom and kindness. I know my husband and I made the right decision and Logan is pain free. I just miss my friend!


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

Most of us can empathize with the pain and sadness this day brings even though you made it the best day possible for sweet Logan. I hope you find comfort in knowing what a great life he had with you. I believe we will see our dogs again. You have my sympathy.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

NC Golden Lover said:


> Yesterday, we let Logan go. Our vet came to our house and Logan went so peacefully. We spent the day doing all his favorites-going for a scenic walk around a lake, swimming, car ride, walk in our neighborhood, a body massage, yummy foods, and lots of love and affection. It was the perfect day to celebrate a dog that I loved so much. Logan was truly the best dog and one I will never forget. I hope I get to see him again.
> 
> Thanks for all of your words of wisdom and kindness. I know my husband and I made the right decision and Logan is pain free. I just miss my friend!


I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Logan, you had a very special day with him. My thoughts are with you while you're on this journey for your heart to heal and to find peace. 

I too believe one day we will be reunited with our dogs......


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## zeyadeen (May 10, 2017)

so sorry for your loss, our prayers and thoughts with you and your family, as carolina mom said we will be reunited with them.


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## Lincgold (May 11, 2018)

I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your husband are in our prayers.


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## ruthmg71 (Jul 24, 2019)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm going through it too with you.


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## Brodys Rockies (Jan 8, 2019)

I've been off the site for a little while and this was the first thread I went to upon my return. I was wondering how this all worked out for Logan, you and your family. I'm so sorry. Honestly, as hard as it must have been for everyone, I think you did the right thing based on Logan's failing condition. As you already know, it's never easy...Time will heal your pain from loss. You will keep memories of Logan for a lifetime. 

RIP, Logan!

God bless!


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