# 2 Year old suddenly nipping at my daughter



## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

Please don't let them play this way. Fin knows she isn't another dog but since she is playing rough like another pup would it gives off mixed messages for him. He may never ever do anything other than the growl/air snap/nip but he is a dog and may make the wrong choice someday and really bite down in frustration or pain. And if he does your daughter may get seriously hurt and your wife may not even want him in your home anymore.

Please guide them to find more suitable ways to play and also have your wife learn to so when you are not there she can guide them or offer suggestions on how they should be playing.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Teach your daughter not to play that way. 
If she tries that with some other dog, it might get ugly really fast. I'm not sure even Max, who adores kids, would allow a child to drag him around and knock him down.


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## AngieAvenue (Mar 17, 2013)

I don't think I'd allow them to play that way. 

You are right in trusting your dog, he likely would never turn and hurt your daughter in the way you are imagining. The problem is when he's not himself - he's tired, or hurt, he won't react the way he normally would. If he had a bruise and she touched it, he may nip to make her stop. This doesn't mean he's aggressive, or intending to hurt her, but how he communicates. 

I've seen my dog play with other dogs. I often think that if he were to play with me like that, I would come away with cuts and bruises. Dogs are just rougher with each other. You don't to put her (or yourselves) in a position where he's bitten her while playing, and it's looked at as an aggressive dog bite. 

You can still trust your buddy fully, but take precautions for both your family and him. Remember, that trust goes both ways and he is trusting you to make the right decisions for his well being, too


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

It is past time to stop the rough play. Teach your daughter more appropriate ways to interact with Fin, perhaps get her involved in training sessions with him, show her how to teach (with positive reinforcement) him to sit, lay down, shake a paw, those kinds of things to help her understand how she should be interacting with him. Perhaps enroll Fin in training classes and take your daughter along or if he knows how to play fetch, help her learn to play fetch with him, (with you supervising of course).

Something that may help your daughter understand that Fin does not want to play is to give him a bed (or mat), and teach him to go to it on cue, and stay there until you release him. Help your daughter understand that when Fin is on his bed, even if/when he goes there on his own, he needs a 'nap' and she is not allowed to bother him when he is there.

Just as our dogs need help to learn to how to interact appropriately with us, our children need our guidance to learn how to interact safely and 'behave' appropriately with them.


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## bassJAM (Feb 4, 2015)

Thanks for the replies. He did it again last night, and even I couldn’t see any indication that it was going to happen. And after he did it, he went right back after her playing like normal, so I don’t think he was tired, he’s just starting to play more aggressive with her. We got a 6 month old large mixed breed pup a few months ago, and Fin and the new dog play like, well, dogs. Fin probably is having a hard time understanding that our daughter isn’t a dog, and he can’t play with her as aggressive as he can the pup. His nipping at our daughter did coincide with when we got the new pup.

I’ll just have to make them stop wrestling. It stinks, as there’s not much I enjoy more than watching them have fun in the evenings. I’ll even turn off the TV and my wife and I will watch them occasionally. Once the snow is gone and it warms up we can go back to playing outside, as they both LOVE playing fetch. Fin gets a turn, and then our daughter gets a turn, and when she gets to the Frisbee she throws it right away for Fin, and then they both race to get back to me first. It’s really cute, and I guess I’ll have to find more things like that for them to do together.


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## Leslie B (Mar 17, 2011)

Thank you for stopping all wrestling games. From my perspective, hearing you say how much you enjoy watching this play is like hearing someone say how much they enjoy watching a car try to beat the train at the railroad crossing. Like with the train, this is a disaster waiting to happen. While you and your daughter are having all fun and games – your dog is telling your daughter that she is crossing a line during this play. You can’t see the line and neither can your daughter, but it is there. The growl tells you it is there. While many dogs, most dogs, never escalate beyond the growl there are some that do. It is swift and it can be a life changer for both your daughter and the dog. 

Please do not relent and let them wrestle again.


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## kwhit (Apr 7, 2008)

Leslie B said:


> From my perspective, hearing you say how much you enjoy watching this play is like hearing someone say how much they enjoy watching a car try to beat the train at the railroad crossing.


_Perfect_ analogy! I hope the OP gets a mental image of that car and train should he ever allow that type of play again.


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## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

Look at this as an opportunity to bond in new, appropriate ways. There are many tricks your daughter can teach the dogs-- they will love and it and so will she!

It is a possibility that he is redirecting aggression from the new dog toward your daughter, too. I would consider bringing a pro in to evaluate since you are now saying it seems to come on all of a sudden. 

Google "dog bite children" and you will quickly be motivated to stop all rough play. Also, research "calming signals" so you can better learn your dog's body language.


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## SwimDog (Sep 28, 2014)

It doesn't sound like an enjoyable experience - there are so, so many other ways for them to play.

Go and sign up your family for a basic level agility class - there are so many cool opportunities for kids at various levels. She's young enough you and/or your wife will be right there in class assisting - but it could be a great way of learning new ways to play together.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

My Mercy only snaps at my son when he's way too rough with her. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't think any Golden should be snapping at a child, however I also do not agree with roughhousing. You might want to tell your daughter to leave him be when he's resting as well as finding alternative ways to play. There should be no mouthing or teasing allowed. When he's nice, be sure to give him treats. Have your daughter hand him a bone while laying down. I wish you the best of luck.


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## bassJAM (Feb 4, 2015)

Leslie B said:


> Thank you for stopping all wrestling games. From my perspective, hearing you say how much you enjoy watching this play is like hearing someone say how much they enjoy watching a car try to beat the train at the railroad crossing. Like with the train, this is a disaster waiting to happen. While you and your daughter are having all fun and games – your dog is telling your daughter that she is crossing a line during this play. You can’t see the line and neither can your daughter, but it is there. The growl tells you it is there. While many dogs, most dogs, never escalate beyond the growl there are some that do. It is swift and it can be a life changer for both your daughter and the dog.
> 
> Please do not relent and let them wrestle again.


Wow. I’m surprised you just didn’t say I’m a ******* who watches Nascar just to see someone die. I enjoy watching them because I can tell they are both having the time of their life while playing like this. She laughs and giggles. He follows her everywhere. If she gets a rug burn he stops playing for a minute and gives her gentle kisses until she feels better. I can see that it’s probably going to escalate as both my daughter and the puppy get stronger and Fin gets used to playing rougher and rougher with them. It used to be my daughter would get hurt somehow while playing (not the dog’s fault) and we’d have to make them stop. But she’s gotten a lot stronger in the past few months and that doesn’t happen anymore. I see the writing on the wall now that she’s too big to roughhouse with him now, and he’s getting used to playing rough with another dog. But don’t compare me to someone who enjoys watching people get hurt.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Growling and snapping are dog's way of communicating they are not comfortable with a situation. Whatever dynamic has changed between them, you are absolutely right that it is time to stop the rough play between then now before he feels like his message is not being heard and needs to do more. You really don't want to correct the dog for communicating, that leaves him with not much choice on how to let you know he doesn't like what's going on and he feels like has to escalate to an actual bite to make his point. Obviously he loves your daughter and wants to be with her, and there are a lot of other ways for them to interact. You read the situation right, things have changed, good for you. 

I love the suggestion of getting them into agility class together. It is really fun and they both will enjoy it. Once you get started if you have enough room in your yard you can set up practice jumps, tunnel, weave poles and play at home. I hope you will look into that for them, they both sound like great candidates for agility.

Thanks for being a conscientious dog owner and wanting the best for both of them.


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## Leslie B (Mar 17, 2011)

I did say ”from my perspective” and I did not call you any names. You stated that your child has been hurt during these wrestling events and you still have not stopped them, in fact, you turn off the tv to watch them. Your enjoyment of this wrestling makes me uncomfortable and leads me to believe that you are unaware of how quickly this could turn into a disaster for your child. I believe that you do not even realize what you are seeing in front of your own eyes.
Dog bites on children have many misconceptions. Most bites end up to the face, most happen within feet of an adult, and most happen after a number of warnings by the dog that he is uncomfortable with the situation (growling, posturing, showing the whites of his eyes). 
Do you know any child that has been bitten in the face? Do you realize the impact on her self esteem, the cost of the surgery, the on going treatment? Do you realize the embarrassment of having the police question you about the dog and if you were negligent? Or of having to put down a perfectly healthy dog because he has bitten your child? No one else will want him after such a bite. 
My best friend went thru all of the above with her 5 year old granddaughter, a beautiful girl who I have known since birth. A non aggressive and healthy dog put down. All because the parents did not recognize the signs that the dog was uncomfortable with the wrestling and pestering of a 5 year old child. 
I love dogs but no wrestling is allowed in my home - EVER.


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## Skippy03 (Nov 8, 2011)

I can't help but wonder if your dog thinks your daughter is a peer rather than a superior in your pack/household. You can reinforce her status by allowing her to feed the dogs, giving them commands, taking the leash on walks when it's safe of course. 

Another type of play that might be a nice compromise is a game of tug. You want to make sure the toy or rope is long enough that her fingers don't get accidentally grabbed. It's a nice physical type of activity they can play indoors (supervised of course) and it will be pretty hilarious when he can pull her around by the toy. 

We've been stir crazy this winter too and I've allowed a low key version of fetch in the house. We toss, roll or hide a tennis ball or toy in the living room. 

You may want to learn some more about dog body language. Say there's an excitement scale of 1-10. 1 is a dog laying down and 10 is red zone barking like mad. A good level of excitement for play indoors with a child would be a 3/4 and you want to keep it there. I'd be willing to bet your dog gets excited to a 6 when he does the snap/nip. Does that make sense? When he's getting too excited during play his eyes are probably big with the whites showing, fur maybe raised and instead of fluid happy motions his body will make sharper poses. Does that make sense?

I give you to a of credit for acknowledging the inappropriate behavior and seeking out advice. Far too many people ignore these types of things and are shocked when the family pet takes a chunk out of a kids face and have the dog put down. 

A friend of mine on Facebook recently posted a "cute" video of her 3 year old daughter aggravating her little (20lb) dog. The dog gave several clear signals he was stressed. It was textbook dog behavior giving every warning signal he could. I literally twitched while watching it anticipating the dog biting the kid. Worst was the mom didn't want to hear any of the "negative" comments citing he "loves" her and would never hurt her. Most were from people who don't even have experience with animal behavior just common sense that it made them nervous.


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