# Hard couple of days



## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Been on the low wave of grief this week. I guess its like the dust is settling and the reality that General is not here. And I do miss Belle so much too. Every time I cry, my daughter Lauren comes to hug me and let me know they are in a better place. I would feel so much better if I could just see them happy. I've had a dream of General every night. Pam(Di) and Steph are having a hard week too since makes sense we lost our babies together. It's just so hard at times. When Belle died, I would just pray all the time to please let me know that she is fine in Heaven. I cried during kickboxing last night. Thankfully, people couldn't see it since the heat in Texas is hot and the tears looked liked sweat. I just keep pushing to get my normal activities and work back to normal then add new stuff with the babies.

BUT, I do know that things would be so much more difficult for me if I didn't have Jolie and Jax. Sweet Jax will not leave my side when he sees me a bit emotional. I try not to be, but I'm human and a Mommy.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I have been missing Selka more than the usual lately also. It comes on the most at night and I go to bed crying, plugging up my head, not being able to sleep. I miss him so much it aches.


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## spruce (Mar 13, 2008)

I'm so sorry. Be grateful for General & Belle for all the things they gave you.


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## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

Hugs to you - I'm missing Sophie so much this week. I've cried so much.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Sophie_Mom said:


> Hugs to you - I'm missing Sophie so much this week. I've cried so much.


I know it's been really hard on you. Hugs back at ya!


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Debles said:


> I have been missing Selka more than the usual lately also. It comes on the most at night and I go to bed crying, plugging up my head, not being able to sleep. I miss him so much it aches.


I understand that feeling. I've been watching TV in bed late. My husband has been understanding, but he night kick me out to the guest room soon. ; )


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

Must be something about this week for feeling so sad. I too have been missing my Bella. I have also been struggling with guilt that I should have known my neighbors were idiots. I wish they would have run over me and not her. I just hope she knows how sorry I am and how much I miss her. I agree that having my other babies helps keep me a little more sane and grounded. They need me to be there for them. With all of you in our grief and I hope are babies are playing together on the other side.


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## Maddie'sMom2011 (Apr 26, 2011)

The grief is still raw. I cried constantly after Lillie & Jake went to the rainbow. My students even noticed & were very worried about me--not my normal self. I was grieving & missing them both so very much. My house w/out a golden was not a home. Then, thanks to this forum, we found Maddie & even though she'll never those replaced them, she brings a breath of puppy into our home. Thank you!!!


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## musicgirl (Jul 26, 2009)

It pains me to know how many people here have lost their babies in such a short time span...I'm so sorry for everyone's loss...
Teddy passed in October, and I still cry over him, not as often, but it does happen.
I hope with time everyone's pain begins to ease and we can all accept that our babies have gone to a better place... they all had wonderful lives with their families and no doubt we've all made some lasting memories....
Sending prayers and strength for everyone dealing with loss...


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Nath, I'm so very sorry! I have definitely been having a very tough week. Last week we were distracted by worries for Max, but this week has been so hard. It makes sense that you've been acheing for Belle as well. It is even worse with you loosing the two kids so very close together. It really does seem like General sent Jax to you. Puppies usually don't pick up on emotions so young and Jax is so perceptive of you. I haven't been able to dream about Di yet. My husband has been even worse than me. Big hugs to you.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Maddie'sMom2011 said:


> The grief is still raw. I cried constantly after Lillie & Jake went to the rainbow. My students even noticed & were very worried about me--not my normal self. I was grieving & missing them both so very much. My house w/out a golden was not a home. Then, thanks to this forum, we found Maddie & even though she'll never those replaced them, she brings a breath of puppy into our home. Thank you!!!


Yes, the puppies don't replace our lost love ones. But I feel they add to our eternal pack and add more love. Our house got silent with Belle gone for 4 weeks but when General passed 6 weeks later it would be too hard for us. I am glad we looked for puppies on our anniversary trip.


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## Maddie'sMom2011 (Apr 26, 2011)

Eternal pack, I really like that! Our house was so quiet without Jake & Lillie that we couldn't stand being here. It just wasn't right. I'm so happy that you have Jolie & Jax now!Enjoy!


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## sharlin (Feb 26, 2007)

Let your grief be tempered by the knowledge they run & play as healthy happy dogs and wait patiently for the reunion with you with all the Bridge Kids.


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## KiwiD (Jan 14, 2008)

I can understand exactly how you feel. It's been 2 1/2 weeks since we lost Maddie. Time is going by too fast and the pain isn't going away.


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## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

I have only dreamt of Sophie once. She was laying down, and I sat by her and she was licking my hand. That's all I remember. But it felt so good to be with her. I want to dream of her, I ask her to visit me there.... I wish she would. I miss her.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Just in case nobody has shared this with you: The Star. Many members of the GRF have found comfort in this.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

GoldensGirl said:


> Just in case nobody has shared this with you: The Star. Many members of the GRF have found comfort in this.


Very interesting. My grandmother told me a story about her mother's star that came to her after she passed away. She came from an Indian back ground.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I like the eternal pack too! Such a nice thought. Would love our Golda and Di right here to cuddle though! I know it has been so difficult for you to loose your Belle and General so closely together. Sending prayers to you for a better day tomorrow. Now go give Jax and Jolie kisses from me!


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

GoldensGirl said:


> Just in case nobody has shared this with you: The Star. Many members of the GRF have found comfort in this.


This is beautiful and I tried it 3 days after Di passed. That star is still there, when the skies are clear. You sent this to us after we lost Di and I forgot to tell you how much it meant to us!


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

PrincessDi said:


> I like the eternal pack too! Such a nice thought. Would love our Golda and Di right here to cuddle though! I know it has been so difficult for you to loose your Belle and General so closely together. Sending prayers to you for a better day tomorrow. Now go give Jax and Jolie kisses from me!


Thanks Pam. You've been a rock for me through this hard time. Just still cannot believe that General is gone too. I had 4 months to prepare for Belle which was not easy. Dealing with this cancer for 7 months has put a toll on my life. I ran into a trainer friend at the gym today who didn't know what was going on only to mention saying that she missed me and was wondering what happened to me.

I know this is really a bad example, but I lost two dogs during the season of the Real housewives of New York. They have really short seasons.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

I lost my horse, copper and my favorite Aunt 3 fridays back to back last October. It just blindsides you and each one seems to much to take. I've had some other losses since and really, the grief does get softer with time and it is easier to remember all the love and joy with less pain.

The path we have to walk without them is painful, but they have gone on and didn't (thank goodness) know to dread what was coming or feel the pain we feel now.


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## Dallas Gold (Dec 22, 2007)

This journey of grief is so hard for us. I totally understand what you are feeling--reality sets in with everything that's happened. It's funny how little things, months and years later, can send us right back to intense grief. My heart goes out to your family in your dual losses too close together.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

It is just so hard, not having them here with us, i cry over spencer, i miss my boy so much, you can't replace them, he was extra special, it takes time to start to heal, but some of the pain stays with you, so sorry.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Smooch and Snobear*

Have been thinking of Smooch and Snobear so much lately!

When I look at our Tucker and our Tonka, I think of Smooch and Snobear-it's as if Smooch and Snobear go on living in Tucker and Tonka!

I know Smooch and Snobear are so much better off at the Rainbow Bridge, where there is no pain, only peace and serenity and PLAY!


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

sharlin said:


> Let your grief be tempered by the knowledge they run & play as healthy happy dogs and wait patiently for the reunion with you with all the Bridge Kids.


The reunion will be so sweet. I also hope they are bringing joy to those who left their best friends behind and to those you may never have been able to have a dog while they were here on earth. 

It's been almost 4 months for me since we lost our boy Taz, think about him and miss him everyday, the hurt and pain is still there. 

Hugs to all of you who are grieving.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

You guys rock with the support. Today was two weeks... I forced myself to kickboxing class which was the best thing to do. Then made dinner and had a couple of glasses of wine. Still hurts losing a 7 year old. I told myself when Belle died that I couldn't expect him to live to be 12 and I would take 3 more years. Didn't know that he would be gone 6 weeks later. The pups are still such a blessing. Jax is very serious and sweet. Jolie is total sugar and spice. Thank you again for the support.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Karen519 said:


> Have been thinking of Smooch and Snobear so much lately!
> 
> When I look at our Tucker and our Tonka, I think of Smooch and Snobear-it's as if Smooch and Snobear go on living in Tucker and Tonka!
> 
> I know Smooch and Snobear are so much better off at the Rainbow Bridge, where there is no pain, only peace and serenity and PLAY!


Karen, my uncle had a Samoyed called Oso Blanco many years ago. But boy did I love that dog. I think he passed away when I was 11 years old (currently I'm 41) because of cancer. And other than a golden, I would get this breed. However, I think it's too much for them to live in Texas. They are awesome pups.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Nath, so sorry! I know these anniversaries are so hard. Particularly, with the loss of both Belle and General so close together. Am so glad that General sent you Jax. I'll bet that shortly, it will become apparent that Belle sent you Jolie. Hugs to you!


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Thanks guys. It's been a weepy morning again. I guess the Hemangio discussion is getting too much for me. That disease took both of my babies.


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

The dog that I lost to lymphoma was my good friend when I first lived on my own as an adult. Every minute I wasn't at work I spent with him. When we had to let him go, it was a constant gap in my day. All day long, I kept doing things I wished I could share with my dog, like I had for years. It was awful.

I think the grief that we feel is the flipside of the joy our dogs have brought us. It wouldn't hurt so much to miss them if they hadn't been such an important part of our lives. So when I miss my dog, I try to imagine how much he'd enjoy whatever we're doing, and I can't help smile a little. It's a sad smile, but it's a smile.

That's how I try to avoid getting frozen in my grief. I try to remember that it's really just a kind of joy. I'm so sorry that your dogs were taken from you so young.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Nath*

Nath

That is something your uncle had a Samoyed. They are wonderful and loving dogs-very similar to Golden Rets., in many ways. One of my facebook friends, Steven Baker, lives in Dallas, TX, and has three Samoyeds.


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## oakleysmommy (Feb 20, 2011)

Just saw this thread and read most of it, i cant read it all makes me too upset. just wanted to say sorry again for your loss ,,i cant imagine, i hope the memories that make you cry today will soon make you smile. and know they are happy where they are far from pain.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Nath, sorry, it's been a difficult day! That discussion has had me in tears several times as well. You know what though, I wouldn't trade the detachment that some folks are able to wear one bit, for the love that I had with my girl. I know you feel the same about your Belle and General! That's what makes it hurt so bad, that they were taken away by this disease. I'm so sorry that you have this X2! Hugs to you!


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Went to the gym which made me feel better, but saw all he nose marks and slobber from running a few weeks back still on my windows. Broke down again. BUT when I got home there were two babies giving me all the love in the world. I am shoot for a good Saturday.


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## Debles (Sep 6, 2007)

I hope we can all have a good day tomorrow. During the day when I am sitting in the yard throwing the ball for the boys in the sun, I can smile a sad smile when I think of Selka and all the ways Sasha reminds me of him. But at night, the tears come. I miss him so much and feel so lonely without him. No one fills that giant chasm.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Debles said:


> I hope we can all have a good day tomorrow. During the day when I am sitting in the yard throwing the ball for the boys in the sun, I can smile a sad smile when I think of Selka and all the ways Sasha reminds me of him. But at night, the tears come. I miss him so much and feel so lonely without him. No one fills that giant chasm.


Hang in there. At least we have a good bunch who supports each other.


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## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

I'm happy to have you all - Your support and understanding are such comforts to me. We shall work through this together, day by day....


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## oakleysmommy (Feb 20, 2011)

I hope you guys have a good Saturday, remember the joy and love they gave you and you gave them.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Hope everyone is having a nice Saturday. My husband took Lauren to a baseball game so I got to have some relaxing time by the pool for a bit. Read trashy magazines. Then heading to a 50th birthday party for a friend. Currently hanging out with my darling babies. I woke up today with Jolie snuggled up with her head on my shoulder and Jax's head on my legs. I know some people don't let their dogs in their beds, but I love to sleep like a pack.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Nath said:


> Hope everyone is having a nice Saturday. My husband took Lauren to a baseball game so I got to have some relaxing time by the pool for a bit. Read trashy magazines. Then heading to a 50th birthday party for a friend. Currently hanging out with my darling babies. I woke up today with Jolie snuggled up with her head on my shoulder and Jax's head on my legs. I know some people don't let their dogs in their beds, but I love to sleep like a pack.


I'd rather let my kids in my bed than most people! Glad you had a relaxing day with the pups!


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## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

My dog(s) are always in bed with me. If they aren't, I call for them! Sawyer is in my lap as we speak.... such a lover.


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I've been missing Daisy alot too, this month it will be a year since she went to the bridge. I so miss seeing her happy face and hearing her famous howls. She was the first and only golden I've ever had and she will always have a huge piece of my heart. I'm so sorry for all of you who have lost your sweet babies. Hugs to all of you.


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## Sophie_Mom (Jan 21, 2009)

Hugs back to you as well.... I know the pain never goes away.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

Hi all- Hoping everyone has had a good Sunday.


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## Nath (May 12, 2011)

So still having a rough patch. I just miss Belle and General so much. Love my babies too. I wish that I had all 4 of them together. One day...


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