# At wits end.........



## missmarstar (Jul 22, 2007)

i'm sure you will get lots of help and encouragement here.. my only advice is "a tired dog is a well behaved dog"... sounds like maybe he's not getting as much exercise as he needs. i know when i take mine (8.5 months old) to the beach for a couple hours in the afternoon and he gets a lot of hard exercise running around off leash, he comes home happy and tired and is a very calm and sleepy puppy for the rest of the evening.


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## EddieME (Nov 25, 2007)

SoundChaser said:


> Hello everybody....We adopted a 10 month old golden male about 3 1/2 months ago from a local shelter. Nothing has really been the same since and I'm about to go off the deep end. It is impossible to have anyone stop over because his behavior is absolutely uncontrollable. The jumping and the playful nipping is to the point were it's embarrassing. I have tried several methods to deter this and nothing seems to work. We also have a lot of trouble trying to get him to settle....especially at bed time. We have tried the crate at nite and the non-stop barking and crying have lead us to give up on that. We keep him in the basement at nite and give him many toys and such to keep him entertained but nothing works....he cries and whines and becomes destructive. We can't trust him loose in the house yet by himself because he gets into everything and tears up anything he can get his mouth on....we have learned this the hard way :banghead: . This is our first experience with this breed and I don't know if any/all of this is "normal"....I sure hope not. There are more problems that I'm having but these definitely are the biggest.......Please.....HELP.


Welcome! Sounds like you need to buy a copy of the book "Marley and Me" so you don't feel so alone. (Marley wasn't a golden but a handful none the less) 
I think you should invest in a few sessions with a trainer. Someone who can come to your home and work with you and your family on his behavior issues. 
He looks like a cutie, what's his name? 
Hmmm, may need more pics....


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## Maggies mom (Jan 6, 2006)

Sounds like this dog was never taught any manners and who is in charge. I would look into a good trainer in your area....


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## Lucky's mom (Nov 4, 2005)

It sounds like you have a handful there. When Lucky was 7 to 11 months he was very undisaplined and excitable and BIG. We'd have to crate him when we had guests to keep him from mauling them. Treat rewards helpped him obey us when he was excited. Keep in mind your Golden is still a puppy...a very big puppy. With work he will gain self disapline.

Try using treat rewards to get the basic commands down pat...like "down, sit...." The more ingrained those commands the more he'll obey...sometimes even when excited.

Teach your puppy bite inhibition. This is the site that gave me hope and helped much with Lucky http://www.jersey.net/~mountaindog/berner1/bitestop.htm

Exercise, exercise....tire that Golden out.

Thats all I can think of....there is light at the end of the tunnel! I do know how overwhelming a big puppy can be. Thank you so much for giving him a chance.


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## Sunshine Goldens (Oct 31, 2005)

How much exercise is he getting a day? I feel your pain...I am fostering an 18 month old GR and after a blissful ignorance living with older dogs I have been shocked back into "puppy-mode". Probably THE 2nd MOST powerful thing I have learned from our rescue's trainer (exercise and lots of it being #1) is a "settling exercise". Leash your dog, go to a quiet spot in your house. Allowing the dog just enough slack to lie down, you sit on the leash. You do not react to anything the dogs does (watch TV, read a paper, etc.) No petting, talking to the dog, nada. If the dog chews the leash you can give a stern "NO" but nothigng more than that. If he jumps up on you, firmly push him away - again no talking or making it a big deal. This exercise will also teach you patience (which can be in short supply with a puppy in the house!) Every dog I've tried this with absolutely settles...but fair warning, some take longer than others. With Sammy our foster dog, almost as soon as I clip and sit on that leash, he's settled. It's a miracle in my eyes!!!

You without a doubt need to get that dog into a professional training program. Ideally a one on one trainer who can come to your house and tailor a program specifically for you and the dog. Don't wait. Each day that passes is a lost opportunity for changing the behaviors.


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## AquaClaraCanines (Mar 5, 2006)

Exercise. If this dog was mine, he would be getting at least two hours daily of hard off leash exercise, plus leash walking and mental exercise/training to wear out his brain. Being outside alone in a yard doesn't count, by the way. Goldens need intense exercise and attention. If you want a lazy dog that sleeps all day get a Greyhound (I have both hehe).


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## fostermom (Sep 6, 2007)

I agree, exercise, exercise, exercise! If Danny doesn't get walked in the evening, he is at me all night long like a little kid who is being a pest! And I would take him to a training class. That can help you not only bond with him, but will give you some ideas on how to work on the other behaviors.


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## Merlins mom (Jun 20, 2007)

Welcome to the forum!!  Just an agreement here......lots of long walks and a trainer will do wonders.

Our Merlin is 9 months old and we walk him about 2 hours per day, one hour in the morning and one at night. We also have evening play times. I really think that is why he's been good inside, as in not chewing our house apart.  I'm not sure if you have this available, but doggie daycare is also a good way to get them socialized and also tires them out! Good luck. I know it's frustrating!!! You'll find lots of help here!

Like your forum name, how did you come by it? It reminds me of my fav band.


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

Lexi was a tornado when we adopted her at 9 months old...It took me 6 months before I really liked her). 
Lots and lots of exercise and a trainer were our answer....
When she was in the house she was attached to me with a leash..
She was hand fed nearly all her food...with the exception of her frozen Kongs which we used to teach her to love her crate
She worked (with sits and downs) for every morsel of food and every bit of attention
Isolation (keeping her in the basement at night) is surely increasing her anxiety and therefore her destructive behavior...

Find a place where you can run the legs off you pup...find a trainer...Hang in there...dogs like yours (and mine) are great teachers!!


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## lhappytwenty (Nov 6, 2007)

Hi! I have a golden about the same age and I completely understand what you're going through. Our pup is the same way, not quite to that extent though. We finally figured out a way to keep him from jumping on people that has proved effective (I think someone on here told me about it actually) but as for the general excitability, he's just as bad as ever. For the jumping, we were told that when he jumps grab his paws in your hands and squeeze (not too hard, just till he realizes he doesn't like it). After a couple jumps ending in paw squeezes, our guy doesn't jump anymore...ever. 
As for the freaking out, I'd love to see what advice people have to offer. I just try and make our pup sit when people come around (which usually entails me practically having to sit on him!!). He's good at sitting when it's just us, but when other people come, all bets are off! Good luck to you!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Good advice already, but I just wanted to encourage you to go back to the crate training. It may take a while, but he will learn to settle in the crate. Fill kongs with yogurt or peanut butter freeze it and give them to him in the crate, or bones filled with something similar, durable nylabones if he will chew them. Put a sheet over the crate, turn of the lights and walk away. Don't give in to the barking and fussing, he has learned that will get him out of the crate. But right now with his behaviour the crate is the safest place for him and for your belongings when you can't supervise him.

Put a leash on him and attach it to your belt at all times when he is out of the crate. Step on it to keep him from jumping up.

You have adopted an almost full grown dog with the personality and training needs of a PUPPY. Obviously he never received any training or socialization before you adopted him. Please don't give up, just keep working, months from now you will wake up one day and realized you have a well behaved, loving, wonderful companion and it will all have been worth the effort!

Thank you for adopting him!


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## Nanika (Jan 10, 2008)

Wow...what a project. I would also use the crate...at night make sure you have ear plugs. The crying will eventually stop...but it may take a few nights. Exercise is the best way to ensure you have a content puppy (it also does wonders for building a relationship with you dog -you might even find yourself enjoying time spent with him







if not on the walk then when you get home) There are great ideas on this forum for using kongs and what to put in them. This will help exercise his mind and leave him more content. Good luck with him - it will come in time.


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## goldengirl71 (Jan 20, 2008)

Hi There: I had a very similar experience with a beagle (notoriously difficult to train and downright willful).... First, as others here have said, your pup is still a pup. He needs a lot of patience and firmness. He needs to know that you are the boss - he wants you to be the boss (believe it or not) ... it will make him much more secure and likely to listen to you. Of course I too stress the importance of exercise. I don't know where you are from but I understand it can be very hard to get out in the winter - it is important though, even if the very least you can do is play a good came of fetch with a tennis ball in the backyard. You may be hesitant to take him on a leash or to a dog park and as a puppy, until you have him really listening to you, I personally wouldn't let him off-leash (if you do, make sure you have treats). The other very helpful thing we did was contacted breed rescue and asked them to put us in touch with a trainer. I could only take our devil dog so far (he had many of the same behaviors you described - and also quite a bit of aggression and resource guarding). The trainer was great. There were a few basic rules we learned. For example - all good things happen in the crate. You want the crate to be your pup's haven. So treats, favourite toys and comfy blankets are great. Keep it open and set some treats in there and let him explore it on his own before being "locked in". When we did shut the door on Snoopy, we did so the first few times while we were home. When it came to sleeping and settling in for the evening, we had to behave like we had a newborn. The house had to be subdued - no playing before bedtime or getting him riled up. We tethered him to our bathroom door (while he was lying on his bed) and made him comfy ... we had to put up with a lot of barking and whining the first night, but it got better and by night no. 3 he was happy to be in his own "spot" on the floor. The jumping up issue was interesting. Snoopy used to jump up on us when we came in (and also to people who came over). We basically turned our backs on him (had our hands clasped above our waists so he couldn't force a pet, etc... and kept doing so until he stopped jumping up (you can tell him "off" if he is jumping). As soon as Snoopy would stop, we would acknowledge him with a hello and a pet. We warned people who came over about what we were trying to do and asked them to also ignore him and tell him off if he jumped up (say "off" and turn your back to him). I have to say it worked too. We used a lot of treats to get him doing the behaviors properly and then we would only use treats intermittently so he didn't always know if he would get one, he always did the good behaviors "just in case". We used phrases like "good sit", "good off". The change was amazing and the trainer only had to come and meet him the one time. We did the training 15 minutes a day twice a day (at his meal times). We fed him by hand and made him do a behavior before each bite. It was amazing. I know I've gone on and on here, but I just would hate to see you give up on him. There are good places to get help (and this forum is one of them). It takes a lot of work to train a dog, but it is so worth it. He will calm down. He was in the rescue shelter for a reason - the people who had him before couldn't be bothered (or in fairness to them, didn't know how) to train him. The problems they caused landed him in a shelter and you chose him. He will be so worth the work. If you find it really is too much and you can't take it anymore and you find that you aren't "liking him", look into golden retriever rescue ... if you decide you can't keep him and he isn't a good fit for your family, they can help you find a good home - there's no shame in that either. Good luck with everything and thank you for your post


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

I really hope everything works out! These dogs really ARE amazing!


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## Heidi36oh (Feb 27, 2007)

I had two 7 month old back in August and believe me it took a lot to keep these two out of trouble, all I can say is exercise and good training. Mine are now 1 year old and we just about 1 week ago released them to run the house day and night without any problems. There little Angels








​Fuzzy Butt's​



 It's a Girl


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

Welcome and Hello,
We all know what you are going thru and he really sounds like he needs alot more exercise. They can be very distructive when they are bored. Everyone has been giving you good advice and I would also recommend a odedience class so it can be a way for you to bond with him. Being a shelter dog can sometimes make them alittle more insecure and that training will be a great way to big that confidence. Good luck it will get easier, we promise.


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## Drizaya (Jan 27, 2008)

wow...what a great thread. wonderful advice! wish i would have read this before starting a new one...sorry!

i just took Clementine's kong and put just a tad bit of peanut butter in there and threw it in the freezer...

hope our 3rd night goes better than the last two...


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## gold'nchocolate (May 31, 2005)

SoundChaser said:


> We have tried the crate at nite and the non-stop barking and crying have lead us to give up on that. We keep him in the basement at nite and give him many toys and such to keep him entertained but nothing works....he cries and whines and becomes destructive.


Are you able to have the crate in the bedroom with you at night, right next to your bed? I'm thinking that putting him in the basement may be causing an anxiety issue with him  and dogs will get destructive when they are anxious. 

For jumping up on people: one of the things that works really well is to leash him up and drop the other end of the leash to the floor and step on it. Keep your foot on it where it touches the floor, give him just a little slack but not enough for him to jump up. He will keep trying to jump but he'll finally figure out that jumping isn't working anymore .The other thing you should do while standing on the leash is to ignore him---no attention at all until he is calm---don't look at him or even speak to him, in fact, turn your back on him. 

The other thing that you absolutely *must do* is to stick around this forum :wavey:--we'll help you get thru this trying time in your puppies life.


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## lovealways_jami (Apr 17, 2007)

Kongs really do work wonders!! Diesel is always worn out after hes done with his. Take everyones advice in. I was in your shoes just a couple months ago. And he turned out so well I got another


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## SoundChaser (Jan 27, 2008)

Hey Everbody....Thanks so much for all the replies and good advice. Things seem to be getting a little better...and I do mean a little. We have tried from day one to exercise him as much as possible but he seems to have limitless energy....ahh the vigors of youth. He starts his training next week so we will see how that goes. Also, a friend of mine runs a doggy day care so I've been leaving him over there a day or two a week to work on the whole socialization thing. We are hanging tough and I will keep ya all posted....thanks again.


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## goldengirl71 (Jan 20, 2008)

Please do keep us posted ... I can't wait to hear all about the progress I know he will make!


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## Sunny Delight (Mar 10, 2007)

I just found and read through this whole thread and there is so much great advice!!! I don't even have anything new to add! The two thoughts that came to my mind first were the exercise and the keeping the crate near to you. Goldens love their people and the longer you have him and bond with him, the more he'll want to be around you. I hope the trainer that's coming next week can give you some great advice, and definitely keep up posted!!! Oh, and pictures please!!! (if he'll sit still long enough!)


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## LibertyME (Jan 6, 2007)

SoundChaser....hang in there...keep us posted....
Before you know it you will be inspiring others going through the same situations!!


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## norabrown (Jul 20, 2007)

Looking forward to your next update. I'm sure it will keep on getting better.


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