# Greeting behavior



## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

So I searched the forum and didn't really find a thread that offered up suggestions for teaching a golden proper greeting behavior.

I admit, I have been lax with Flora when it comes to greeting behavior, but today in her obedience class, the instructor made an effort to ONLY pet Flora when she was calm, and it was pretty difficult. Flora's behavior doesn't consist of jumping, moreso of an excessive amount of whining and crawling on her belly towards the person she wants to meet. It's kind of embarrassing, she acts so ridiculous.

Anyhow, what is the best way to deal with this? I am no longer going to greet her or pay any attention to her when she behaves like this. Should I instruct her to sit when we greet her? Down? Any links to other threads or articles, or any personal advice would be greatly appreciated! I don't want her doing this when she's a 65-70lb dog. :doh:


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

bumping up.


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## 3SweetGoldens (Feb 28, 2007)

It is so difficult with a very excited puppy, when there are new friends to meet!  When I took Klondike to basic obedience class, they taught us to say the command....sit for pet. Do not have the person you are practicing this with, show any attention to her until she is completely calm and sitting. Then tell them to pet her, and praise her for being a good girl. Gosh....then it was easy enough to handle Klondike...now, at 18 months, he is so strong, and just gets so excited. He can really be a handful, and I would like to get him back in some training classes. 
Best of luck to you, and you just have to be consistent. That is what happened with us, we slacked off on making him do it each time, and now he doesn't want to do it. So, then you start all over again. :no:


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## kjarv24 (Nov 7, 2008)

Yep Jake in his previous home and in ours has always made him SIT and calm down when new visitors arrive before he gets any attention. He does to, He's such a great boy. Now New dogs being around, thats just another story...He doesn't go hog wild but he sure wants to meet them! lol
Consistency is always the key, and patience. Although a Jumping Excited dog of any size doesn't bother me...I had a huge dog jump on me at the dog park, He didn't bother me...But, I know many people just off the top of my head that would find such behaviors either scary or annoying.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

Thanks for the replies. Flora doesn't really have any problems meeting new dogs, it's just people. She LOVES people, and will do anything to get to one. I guess I will work on the sit thing (I just hope my parents will do it too - my father is terrible about doing commands: "Sit. Sit. Sit, Flora. Sit! Sit! Sit sit sit! Oh, good girl.")


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## New Golden Mom (Dec 17, 2008)

kdmarsh said:


> Thanks for the replies. Flora doesn't really have any problems meeting new dogs, it's just people. She LOVES people, and will do anything to get to one. I guess I will work on the sit thing (I just hope my parents will do it too - my father is terrible about doing commands: "Sit. Sit. Sit, Flora. Sit! Sit! Sit sit sit! Oh, good girl.")


My husband does the same thing with Rufus. When I say anything about it he says..."well he's sitting now so he gets a treat doesn't he"...ugh...not after saying SIT twenty times he doesn't! :doh:


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## tippykayak (Oct 27, 2008)

kdmarsh said:


> Thanks for the replies. Flora doesn't really have any problems meeting new dogs, it's just people. She LOVES people, and will do anything to get to one. I guess I will work on the sit thing (I just hope my parents will do it too - my father is terrible about doing commands: "Sit. Sit. Sit, Flora. Sit! Sit! Sit sit sit! Oh, good girl.")


Yeah, I'd work on a sit as the greeting behavior. Since she's so unconfident, have the visitor completely ignore her until she does it, rather than telling her to do it. It's particularly important that they don't give her eye contact, since dogs can find it intimidating. If she's rolling around instead of sitting, _you_ can ask her for the sit on behalf of the visitor, who needs to be a statue until she offers the right behavior.

Once she does sit, don't have your visitor become exciting or make eye contact. Some gentle petting on the side of the face (not top of the head) and a very quiet, midrange voice praising her, and that's it.

It also may help to have her do a down-stay on her bed or a blanket off to the side of the room while everybody ignores her until about five minutes after the company comes and _then_ to try the above exercise.


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## Sienna's Mom (Oct 23, 2007)

I got lots of wonderful replies on my last post

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/showthread.php?t=54727

Sienna goes NUTS when we meet people, it is embarrassing and difficult in that we don't get to just stand there and talk. Even with a prong collar I have trouble controling her. I have printed out all the ideas and advice to put together a "plan".


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

New Golden Mom said:


> My husband does the same thing with Rufus. When I say anything about it he says..."well he's sitting now so he gets a treat doesn't he"...ugh...not after saying SIT twenty times he doesn't! :doh:


Yeah, it drives me nuts. My dad will repeat the same command 10 times before she does it, which kills me. I have worked really had on getting Flora to know her commands, and I hate it when he desensitizes her to them. But if I chastise him, he gets REALLY defensive about it. :doh:



tippykayak said:


> Yeah, I'd work on a sit as the greeting behavior. Since she's so unconfident, have the visitor completely ignore her until she does it, rather than telling her to do it. It's particularly important that they don't give her eye contact, since dogs can find it intimidating. If she's rolling around instead of sitting, _you_ can ask her for the sit on behalf of the visitor, who needs to be a statue until she offers the right behavior.
> 
> Once she does sit, don't have your visitor become exciting or make eye contact. Some gentle petting on the side of the face (not top of the head) and a very quiet, midrange voice praising her, and that's it.
> 
> It also may help to have her do a down-stay on her bed or a blanket off to the side of the room while everybody ignores her until about five minutes after the company comes and _then_ to try the above exercise.


Yes, Flora is a very submissive dog around people and dogs (although I do think she's much more comfortable around people, and she's actually sort of made a buddy out of this mastiff puppy in our obedience class), so I think I will take your advice and do what you suggest. She is very good about sitting with a hand signal or voice command, it's just super hard to get her to hold it when someone goes down to pet her. And it's SO hard to keep people off of her when I'm out in public, especially children.



Sienna's Mom said:


> I got lots of wonderful replies on my last post
> 
> http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com/showthread.php?t=54727
> 
> Sienna goes NUTS when we meet people, it is embarrassing and difficult in that we don't get to just stand there and talk. Even with a prong collar I have trouble controling her. I have printed out all the ideas and advice to put together a "plan".


I will definitely check that thread out. Flora's pretty bad about greeting people too. When we're at the off-leash preserve I have to leash her when we see new people, or she will run right up to them and put her muddy paws right on their pants. It's a dogpark, so *I* expect to get dirty, but I guess other people don't.


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## wakeangel (Feb 28, 2008)

Flora sounds just like Deacon when it comes to an obsession with people! I think the hardest part for us was training our neighbors to ignore him until he calmed down...no affection until there are 4 feet on the floor!

What works the best for us when people come over to the house is the "place" command. When we have guests come in, Deacon is told to go to his place which is one of his beds (whichever is closest and in the room where we and our guests are). He stays there until he is released...which depends on how long it takes him to calm down. He's 15 months old now and it generally takes him about 10 minutes to stop levitating with excitement on his bed and just lay down and relax. It is important to note that the entire time he is in place he is able to see everyone so he's not missing anything or banished away from the excitement...he just can't participate until he's able to do so calmly. After he's released from place he will still hurry around to say hello to everyone, but he doesn't jump and isn't frantic about greeting everyone.

We're still working on his greeting behavior outside of the house...he can pull on his leash like there is no tomorrow if he's intent on saying hi to someone. We've slacked off some in our training him on the leash and really need to get back to it...I'll be interested to read other suggestions people have for you that could help us too!!


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## hannahsmom (Oct 29, 2007)

We have sort of the same problem with Hannah. She is so happy when people come over. She will sit at their feet, smile a big wide smile and piddle happily on the floor! We have to make sure she has just been outside or ask visitors to please ignore her for a minute while she goes outside first! Hannah is now 19 months.


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## magiclover (Apr 22, 2008)

I wish Jazz had a bit of the submissiveness that Flora has. Jazz loves people, especially children. She is a jumper when people visit our house. If she tries to jump on me I make her sit and will not pet her or give her any attention until she calms down. It does work if you are consistent. My problem is getting my kids to be consistent also.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

magiclover said:


> I wish Jazz had a bit of the submissiveness that Flora has. Jazz loves people, especially children. She is a jumper when people visit our house. If she tries to jump on me I make her sit and will not pet her or give her any attention until she calms down. It does work if you are consistent. My problem is getting my kids to be consistent also.


Well, I think I may have worded my post incorrectly. In class last night she was crawling, and she'll crawl if she's leashed and can't get to the person; otherwise she'll jump on them and be a typical nutsy puppy. We've tried making her sit, and she will... for about 5 seconds and then she goes nuts again, so we're just ignoring her now when she's really excited. It's super hard with strangers though.


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## FlyingQuizini (Oct 24, 2006)

I teach sit for petting by having the owner start feeding a wad of balled up food from their hand as soon as the person starts to approach the dog and the food continues the ENTIRE TIME the person quickly pets the dog. Dog gets rewarded two ways: food from owner + calm greeting from the person. If the dog is so over the top when a greeter approaches, I have the owners feed and the greeter walks past the dog, but doesn't try to pet. Work up from there.

Takes time, but works great. All the dogs I've taught this way have eventually been able to hold a sit stay for a greeting even in the absence of the food.


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## kobusclan6 (Feb 10, 2009)

*Wow! This sounds just like Cadence! Cadence LOVES LOVES LOVES people, and especially kids! She gets her body rockin back and forth with so much excitment, that I think she could break her spine!!! LOL If I try to hold her back, she crawls at the floor while digging her paws in the floor trying desperately to inch her way to them!! She hurts people with her nails...(they are trimmed) and its really annoying!!*


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

luvmydog2 said:


> *Wow! This sounds just like Cadence! Cadence LOVES LOVES LOVES people, and especially kids! She gets her body rockin back and forth with so much excitment, that I think she could break her spine!!! LOL If I try to hold her back, she crawls at the floor while digging her paws in the floor trying desperately to inch her way to them!! She hurts people with her nails...(they are trimmed) and its really annoying!!*


That is EXACTLY!!! what Flora does. Her whole back end just waves back and forth and she makes these happy groaning noises, and if I have her on a leash, she'll try to crawl towards them. :doh: Kids are the deal breaker - if she knows I'm leading her to a child, she just goes bonkers. She's actually pretty gentle with children (she will try to jump if they hold their hands up above their heads or something like that), but she is absolutely crazy about kids.

FlyingQuizini - I think I will have to do that. Trying to get her to sit with a basic food lure isn't working, so I'll have to use something a lot more tempting with her. We've actually already noticed a change in her greeting behavior with us simply because we've stopped recognizing her if she gets too nutsy. Now she doesn't whine nearly as much and she settles down very quickly. So hopefully she learns fast!


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## bwoz (Jul 12, 2007)

Well I'm glad to know that I'm in good company. Banner is going to be two and I have been able to get him to physically control himself, but he still loses his mind. He'll sit but the whole time he's grunting, whining, wiggling, pupils dilated. And this is a huge improvement too. He used to remind me of a fish out of water even at the very sight of a person. It's alot of work and I think if you have a strong sit command then you're halfway there. I know for us, it's not always easy to use the concept that he won't be rewarded by petting if he's not calm. The neighborhood kids bombard us and it's impossible to instruct fifteen excited kids on what you need them to do before they pet your dog. But hey, that's why I got a Golden. I'm glad he loves everyone. Good luck to you, it'll get better.


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

bwoz said:


> Well I'm glad to know that I'm in good company. Banner is going to be two and I have been able to get him to physically control himself, but he still loses his mind. He'll sit but the whole time he's grunting, whining, wiggling, pupils dilated. And this is a huge improvement too. He used to remind me of a fish out of water even at the very sight of a person. It's alot of work and I think if you have a strong sit command then you're halfway there. I know for us, it's not always easy to use the concept that he won't be rewarded by petting if he's not calm. The neighborhood kids bombard us and it's impossible to instruct fifteen excited kids on what you need them to do before they pet your dog. *But hey, that's why I got a Golden. I'm glad he loves everyone.* Good luck to you, it'll get better.


I love that statement.  It embarrasses me that Flora is so eager and excited to meet people, but at the same time it just warms my heart. She loves EVERYONE, and that's just really fantastic. Goldens are great dogs.


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## avincent52 (Jul 23, 2008)

All good suggestions.
One more: Try and really "over socialize" her. I take Tessie for walks in town, and kids and their parents are always dropping by. The result is that seeing a stranger or a visitor is pretty much an ordinary experience--something that happens a couple times a day at least--rather than Christmas and the Fourth of July rolled into one. 
Trips to places like Petco, where you're likely to get understanding fellow dog owners, might be especially good. 

best
allen


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

avincent52 said:


> All good suggestions.
> One more: Try and really "over socialize" her. I take Tessie for walks in town, and kids and their parents are always dropping by. The result is that seeing a stranger or a visitor is pretty much an ordinary experience--something that happens a couple times a day at least--rather than Christmas and the Fourth of July rolled into one.
> Trips to places like Petco, where you're likely to get understanding fellow dog owners, might be especially good.
> 
> ...


I'd like to take her to pet stores, but I've stopped since she pretty much will ALWAYS pee in the store, and I get so embarrassed. But I can try working on getting her to meet a lot more people, although she still goes nuts every morning with me, even though she's seen me about 500 times now.


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## avincent52 (Jul 23, 2008)

Now that the weather is nicer, try taking her to the park, where it's not quite so much of a problem if she pees. 
FWIW, Tessie almost never pees with strangers, but does sometimes when one of the pack members--my wife or kids--come home.
What we did with Tessie is to give her something positive to do. And it's pretty hard to go bonkers when you're sitting. 
best
Allen


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## Florabora22 (Nov 30, 2008)

avincent52 said:


> Now that the weather is nicer, try taking her to the park, where it's not quite so much of a problem if she pees.
> FWIW, Tessie almost never pees with strangers, but does sometimes when one of the pack members--my wife or kids--come home.
> What we did with Tessie is to give her something positive to do. And it's pretty hard to go bonkers when you're sitting.
> best
> Allen


Yes, she goes to the park a lot and meets people (as well as dogs). She pees primarily when she meets other dogs, so I think it's much more of a submissive peeing issue than excitement, although yesterday she did pop a squat in the parking lot when 3 women were petting her. :doh:

We've been working on her... she'll sit for about 1 second and then pop back up, so we've gone to just ignoring her completely until she settles down, which is relatively fast - 20 seconds or so. With strangers it's different. Tomorrow we're having about 15 relatives over for Easter dinner, so I'm going to try and really work on her tomorrow.


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