# So frustrated and fed up!!!



## littlehouse (Sep 19, 2018)

So, I was about to have my home visit for a gr rescue group, but as I was idly looking at shelter sites, I found one shelter that's fairly close to my home that had 4 dogs—2 males, 2 females—that looked promising. The males were young and looked like golden mixes, but the females were bona fide goldens that were 7 and 8 years old. I discovered them after the shelter closed, so I read and reread the guidelines for adoption, and it all seemed pretty straightforward. All I had to do was go to the shelter, meet the dogs, tell a staff member who I liked, fill out an application that would put a hold on the dogs while my references were checked, and then the dogs would be mine. Easy as pie, wouldn't you say? Yeah, right.

So I go to the shelter right when it opens, which takes about an hour to get to, and I learn immediately that two of the dogs (the males) were already spoken for. But then I see the goldens. One is about to be walked by a staffer, so I go up to the dog, who is of course friendly and dying to say hello. I put her in a sit, and pat her. The other golden is in her kennel, looking a little distraught. Both are fairly thin. So I say I'm interested in them. I'm given an application to fill out but am also told that even with the application. I can't put a hold on them because I can't meet them yet. Why? I ask, also mentioning that I've already met one of them. Because, I'm told, they haven't been temperament tested yet. When will that happen? No one knows. So I fill out the application, can't meet the dogs, so I can't reserve them. Sound like a Catch-22? So I ask if I can meet any of the other dogs. No, I'm told because my references need to be checked. They do reference checks before you can meet a homeless dog? What the hell? 

This kind of mentality is why people go to backyard breeders. Who wants to put up with this bureaucratic hogwash? And while I'm on a rant I want to ask what's up with shelter setups these days It used to be that available dogs were in their kennels that you could go up to and say hi. Now, the kennels are behind glass walls. You see the dogs, the dogs see you and are going crazy jumping and barking because they want some contact with all the people that are silently parading in front of them. There's a term, "barrier frustration," which dogs display by jumping and barking. It's not an aggressive behavior, it's a sign of frustration. And setups like these create or exacerbate this kind of behavior. 

I was told that this setup is for insurance reasons, but I've volunteered and held obedience classes at shelters in two different states that were not set up like this, and I never heard of an insurance-related incident caused by people being allowed to have some interaction with the dogs. I mean if there are dogs that have aggression issues and are in danger of biting, then those dogs need to be separated out from the dogs that are available for adoption.

If this doesn't work out and I'm not able to adopt these two girls, then I've had it. There's a rescue in the south that has mostly pit bulls. They've told me they'd be more than willing to drive a dog out to my home and that's what I'm going to do. I've worked with pit bulls before. They're smart, loving animals. I hesitated going this route, partly because I wanted to adopt locally because, contrary to popular beliefs, dogs in the northeast do get put down because of overcrowding, and I wanted another golden because of how much I loved my last dog. But I'm sick of this uptight, stick-up-their-butt mentality. These people are idiots who think the more rules the better, they're giddy with the little bit of power they think they have, and their biggest accomplishments are discouraging responsible dog owners from giving homeless animals loving homes.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

Did the Shelter have their Adoption process and requirements posted on their website?

There are a lot of Shelters in some of the Counties in my State that work on a first come first basis, there's no adoption requirements, whoever shows up with the Adoption fee first is allowed to adopt an animal without any References being checked, the animals not receiving any Vet care such as shots, being tested for HW, or being altered before placement. 

There are also a lot of shelters that are doing a great job of placing animals, applicants fill out an adoption application, references are checked, animals are fully vetted and altered before being placed, they're temperament tested, etc. 

A lot of it depends on the County they are in, Community support they have, staff and Volunteers.

All States have different laws and requirements and Shelters operate differently within Counties of a State.


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

It is frustrating trying to adopt or go through a rescue. I gave up and just found a way to raise a puppy (let my daughter and sil move in for a year). I think the dog you are meant to have will come to you so don't give up.


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## littlehouse (Sep 19, 2018)

"Did the Shelter have their Adoption process and requirements posted on their website?"

Yes! I outlined the process I found on its website in the first paragraph of my post. As far as I know there are no state-mandated adoption guidelines anywhere. If a shelter is telling you otherwise, then you're being lied to. I'm telling you, these ridiculous rules are the product of small-minded, petty bureaucrats.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I read the paragraph as well as your entire post. 

Animal Laws, shelter policies and procedures vary with each State.


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## littlehouse (Sep 19, 2018)

CAROLINA MOM said:


> I read the paragraph as well as your entire post.
> 
> Animal Laws, shelter policies and procedures vary with each State.


Individual shelters set up their own adoption policies that vary from shelter to shelter. After that, it's the municipalities that are accountable for seeing that state laws for cleanliness and safety are being followed, none of which ever has anything to do with adoption policies. It's the idiots who run the shelters that do that, and sometimes these idiots take it upon themselves to make up their own little rules. I hope I'm making myself clear.


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## CoopersMom16 (Dec 29, 2016)

I gave up on rescue groups myself. I don’t have a fenced in yard so none of them would talk to me. But my sister has what you would think is an ideal situation. Big house, large fenced in yard, kids in high school, she only works part time, financially secure. She got turned down because they vacation 3 times a year and have a pet sitter. Their vacations were labeled “excessive”. 

Between the crazy rescue groups and the often just as crazy breeders, it’s easy to see how back yard breeders and puppy mills stay in business. Of course neither group takes responsibility for how their rules keep these groups in business. 

Good luck. I’m sure you will find your new family member soon.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

littlehouse said:


> So, I was about to have my home visit for a gr rescue group, but as I was idly looking at shelter sites, I found one shelter that's fairly close to my home that had 4 dogs—2 males, 2 females—that looked promising. The males were young and looked like golden mixes, but the females were bona fide goldens that were 7 and 8 years old. I discovered them after the shelter closed, so I read and reread the guidelines for adoption, and it all seemed pretty straightforward. All I had to do was go to the shelter, meet the dogs, tell a staff member who I liked, fill out an application that would put a hold on the dogs while my references were checked, and then the dogs would be mine. Easy as pie, wouldn't you say? Yeah, right.
> 
> So I go to the shelter right when it opens, which takes about an hour to get to, and I learn immediately that two of the dogs (the males) were already spoken for. But then I see the goldens. One is about to be walked by a staffer, so I go up to the dog, who is of course friendly and dying to say hello. I put her in a sit, and pat her. The other golden is in her kennel, looking a little distraught. Both are fairly thin. So I say I'm interested in them. I'm given an application to fill out but am also told that even with the application. I can't put a hold on them because I can't meet them yet. Why? I ask, also mentioning that I've already met one of them. Because, I'm told, they haven't been temperament tested yet. When will that happen? No one knows. So I fill out the application, can't meet the dogs, so I can't reserve them. Sound like a Catch-22? So I ask if I can meet any of the other dogs. No, I'm told because my references need to be checked. They do reference checks before you can meet a homeless dog? What the hell?
> 
> ...


I would be going back to the shelter as often as possible, and calling the meantime to make sure they know who you are and that are seriously interested in the Goldens. Don't give up on the dogs.


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## joro32000 (Feb 25, 2017)

I also belong to the group with no chance of adoption from a rescue. For us it is no fenced yard (3 acres far from any highway) and 2 people working away from home (I presume these were the reasons). 

After many tries including last attempt of adopting 10 year old blind Teddy the golden, we gave up. 

I turned to classified ads to find adult goldens. I found a 2 year old golden in a need of new home as he didn’t meet his family standards (I didn’t bother asking for details about their standards). I also found 8 year old golden looking for his new home as his family fell short of change to buy a new piano, so they decided to sell a dog to help finance the purchase. And I also found 8 month old golden who needed a home as the family with 5 kids were divorcing, this family actually loved their dog deeply and I am in touch with them even 5 years later, they always remember his birthday.


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## myluckypenny (Nov 29, 2016)

I also gave up on rescuing through the humane society here. They will never adopt to me while I have an intact male (who I do conformation with and will never be altered). They won't even adopt another male or a spayed female to me, I'm automatically rejected. How does that makes sense? 

I hope you get those two girls, it sounds like they need you!


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## Goldens&Friesians (May 31, 2014)

I've also given up on rescues-at least for goldens. I think that because there are not many goldens in shelters, they sort of take advantage of that. I could get a pit bull easily from a shelter, but not a golden. The 2 main reasons shelters won't adopt to me is that I don't have a fenced yard (live on a quiet country road with next to no traffic-we maybe get like 5-6 cars driving by every day and they are mostly just the other people who live on the road!) and I have a toddler-most won't adopt goldens to families with children under age 6. (Yet I could go get a pit bull and adopt that no matter what my child's age and with no formal temperament testing on the pit bull. Bad experiences make me not trust pits, so I wouldn't adopt one, but I do notice how the breeds like pits that are extremely common in shelters are much easier to adopt.) I've literally seen shelters advertise goldens as being great with small children and then when you inquire about them, oh sorry we don't adopt to families with children under 6. ??? I totally get it that they want the dog to go to a good home where it will be taken care of, but they are regulating good homes right out the door! Anymore its getting so that adopting a child is easier than adopting a dog. 

And as far as breeders having strict requirements, most of that is that they too want good homes for their puppies and that they feel a strong sense of responsibility toward every puppy they ever produce. But I can't help but to feel maybe a tiny part of that is because of the flack breeders (both responsible and irresponsible) take from rescue people. I do not have a very thick skin, so I think I would be easily upset if I were a breeder and being bashed by adopt don't shop people and it would make me be extra cautious so as not to get more bashing. That said, I think most people who work in rescue have never dealt with responsible breeders because responsible breeder's dogs simply do not wind up in shelters. So they lump all breeders into the same group because the ones they see are horrible so they assume all breeders are bad. 

Anyway, yeah, I totally agree that though shelters may have good intentions, they are also enabling bad breeders to keep breeding because people get frustrated and give up on rescue and aren't patient enough or knowledgeable enough to go to the good breeders, so the bad breeders get their business.


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## littlehouse (Sep 19, 2018)

mylissyk said:


> I would be going back to the shelter as often as possible, and calling the meantime to make sure they know who you are and that are seriously interested in the Goldens. Don't give up on the dogs.


Thanks for the suggestion. I actually called today and was told that one of the goldens has been spoken for, which frankly made me a little nuts. (In my defense, it was first thing in the morning, and I hadn't had any coffee yet. Note to self: never do anything without being fully caffeinated.) I recalled to the woman on the phone (warning to all: her name is Shelby) what I was told yesterday, and as it turns out she's the same person who told me I couldn't meet the dogs yet. I said that I was planning to take both dogs since they've been together their entire lives. And she said to me, "Well, we're trying to keep them together." Well how the hell are you going to do that if you're separating them? Then she said that she would put me through to her supervisor because she didn't like how I was talking to her. So I asked her how she would talk to someone who gave her the kind of runaround that she gave me? Without going into any further details, I'll just say the conversation didn't end well.

So I called back and left a message with her supervisor, who is the shelter director. I'd be surprised if I ever hear from him. And, fyi, the shelter is the Columbia-Greene Humane Society in Hudson, NY. I want to add that of those I spoke with at the shelter, this Shelby person was the only nasty one.


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## daisy1234 (Jun 17, 2018)

I'm sorry about your experiences. I hear you it is VERY frustrating! I have a Golden rescue right now. I was passed over for quite a while because 1. They required you to have a larger confident dog in the home as a companion to the Rescue. 2. They wouldn't allow children under 10 in the home. Well I have a Beagle and grandkids that are here often. I later learned there were valid reasons why. They do get a lot of Breeder dogs that mainly were just that and didn't know how to be dogs. They don't get puppies very often and when they do it's up to the foster to decide who is the best match for the puppy. There was a litter of 10 puppies and I applied for one. I got passed over. I later learned by the foster that I ended up working with that those puppies all went to young families because the foster was a younger person. lol I was too old I guess. The current foster went with me because she was in her 50's and read my file and knew I would how much I wanted a Golden. The whole process of being approved though was seriously like adopting a child. We had to speak to many people and pass each step and have a 2 hour home visit getting our home checked out. I get it they want the dogs to go to good places, but it was frustrating. Your shelter place sounds a bit unfair. I really hope you can get those 2 Goldens, and if not you do find one or two you can adopt.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Goldens&Friesians said:


> I've literally seen shelters advertise goldens as being great with small children and then when you inquire about them, oh sorry we don't adopt to families with children under 6. ??? I totally get it that they want the dog to go to a good home where it will be taken care of, but they are regulating good homes right out the door! Anymore its getting so that adopting a child is easier than adopting a dog.


I laughed when I read this part - so true. 

That said, I get why both breeders and rescues set those parameters. You hear or read about some families where they already have their hands full with the little kids and fast forward a few weeks or a couple months, the moms are DONE with having a dog. More so when there's stuff going on with the kids. 

With people adopting adult dogs into families with a lot of kids - would wager that there is that much bigger concern over an adult dog snapping at kids crawling all over him. Puppies don't usually snap - or if they do, their jaws are not strong enough to do too much damage. 

*Can I just say that I have been very grateful that different rescues turned us down? For one reason or the next it directed my path in a different way and it was for the best. 

Back in the late 2000's, I had lost one old dog and was down to just one old dog. We had been turned down by multiple rescues because that other old dog (12 year old male golden) was intact. They basically told me I would have to neuter him in order to submit another application that would actually be considered. <= This to adopt a mixed breed that was neutered. :nerd:

We ended up adopting a purebred rough collie from a breed rescue. This was Arth who raised the next two golden pups I brought home. 

After I lost my 12 year old golden - I went back out thinking I could just adopted a golden. I knew I wanted a golden to help raise Jacks and I wanted to always have 2 goldens. We were turned down because of lack of fencing, we didn't even get around to discussing Jacks being intact. 

If I had adopted a dog back then, I would never have bought Bertie when the time came. I would have missed all of the sweetness that is Bertie. As well, I would not have experienced many of the joys of having him and Jacks together for the past five+ years. Bertie was the very best companion for Jacks. More so, perhaps, than an adult dog with issues might have been. As well, losing Jacks in the past couple months - I would have been in a terrible place with another adult and back at the very beginning looking for a puppy and scrambling. That thankfully is not the case. 

As well, Bertie besides being a big blessing for Jacks' sake.... he also invited me to very many people who I count on as dear friends today. 

Things have a way of happening for a reason.


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## OscarsDad (Dec 20, 2017)

I can certainly empathize with the frustration that some people experience when trying to adopt from a shelter. There are also some of us who have had the opposite experience when adopting. When I rescued Oscar I went through a clearly defined process with specific criteria. I knew the parameters up front. I was treated fairly and with flexibility. I have come to know the people who run the shelter as selflessly dedicated to do what they feel is best for their Goldens. I may have at times questioned their philosophy but I have never once questioned their complete devotion to the animals in their care. I am concerned that we not lump all shelters into a category and dissuade people from using them as an option. They take dogs in, often rehabilitate them, spend significantly on medical care, and then place them with a loving family. That is good work; work that many of us do not have the time, resources, devotion, and passion to do. Had they not taken Oscar off the streets of Istanbul, worked on his behaviors, nursed him to health, and maintained him in the shelter for six months while they tried to place him, we would not be experiencing the unconditional love, companionship, and joy that he brings into our lives every day.


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## CoopersMom16 (Dec 29, 2016)

It’s definately important to judge each shelter on its own merit. Many take in dogs that would otherwise be euthanized. Others are pure scans. I was shocked to learn about “puppy flipping”. So called rescue groups sweep through local animal shelters clearing out the puppies, the young healthy dogs and the cutest ones. All the ones most easily adopted. And they leave behind the old, the disabled and the pit bulls. They pay their $100 for a healthy, vaccinated, neutered/spayed young dog and immediately post its picture on its rescue site for $300. “Flipping” only 5 dogs a month is a $1,000 profit. And if they have gotten themselves non profit status, it’s tax free to boot. This is why there are so few young healthy dogs in local animal shelters. Shelters tolerate this because it does make room for them to take in more dogs. But they also hate that people can’t get these dogs more cheaply and easily from them and have to search online through rescue sites to pay three times as much. By no means are all rescue groups like this, but it’s sonething to be aware of because there are many of them out there.


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## WolfLQ (Jan 10, 2019)

CoopersMom16 said:


> It’s definately important to judge each shelter on its own merit. Many take in dogs that would otherwise be euthanized. Others are pure scans. I was shocked to learn about “puppy flipping”. So called rescue groups sweep through local animal shelters clearing out the puppies, the young healthy dogs and the cutest ones. All the ones most easily adopted. And they leave behind the old, the disabled and the pit bulls. They pay their $100 for a healthy, vaccinated, neutered/spayed young dog and immediately post its picture on its rescue site for $300. “Flipping” only 5 dogs a month is a $1,000 profit. And if they have gotten themselves non profit status, it’s tax free to boot. This is why there are so few young healthy dogs in local animal shelters. Shelters tolerate this because it does make room for them to take in more dogs. But they also hate that people can’t get these dogs more cheaply and easily from them and have to search online through rescue sites to pay three times as much. By no means are all rescue groups like this, but it’s sonething to be aware of because there are many of them out there.



Rescues do this all the time in New England, while demonizing shelters for having to euth the dogs the rescues themselves deemed "not worth it." Really sad to see.


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## Golden9 (Jun 13, 2016)

Did you try any of the Golden Retriever Rescues? Some are easy going, and some are hard to deal with as they have no common sense. I have known good pet owners that get turned down.
Apply with some further away Golden Rescues and check for all pet and dog rescues as they do get in pure bred Goldens from time to time
*AdoptAPet* and *PetFinder * are good resources to search for Goldens in your area and further out.
I was turned down years ago by two Golden rescues as I rented a large home with a large fenced yard and swimming pool, sidewalks everywhere for walking, a big park nearby. But I did not own so I was turned down, even though I was a volunteer, that was not good enough for them.
I found an excellent breeder of amazing Goldens, with all health clearances and champion show titles that checked out, and she sold me a gorgeous, very intelligent Golden puppy, and it was an amazing life with this Golden and she has left a legacy, people still ask about her, A Golden I will never forget and to this day her legacy and name live on, helping many dogs that desperately need help with health. She was my first dog and first Golden, and she taught me a lot. I had a huge learning curve.
Search online *Golden Retriever Rescue, City, State*. to see what ones are in your area.
Check with Golden Retriever breeders in your area. They get Golden Retriever returns that need to be rehomed.
The Golden Breeders usually retire their Goldens from 4 - 6 years old, have them sterilized and look for a pet home.


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