# male or female for second dog?



## dunevlinj (Feb 2, 2009)

I realize that there are probably as many opinions about this as there are Goldens, but we were having this discussion this morning at our house as to which would be better for us...a male or female pup?

We have an almost 3 yr old neutered male Lab, and are looking at adding a Golden pup hopefully in February if all goes well. He gets along with and adores ALL dogs, whether they are male or female, large or small breeds...he loves them!

I can go either way with the sex of the new pup. I do like the look of males a little better, but since we already have a very big boy, I wouldn't mind a smaller dog this time. My DH believes that female dogs in general are more cuddly, but from what I have read on forums like this one in the past, it seems like more people say that males are more cuddly, and females are more loving from a distance, or in a somewhat independent way.

Do more people have one of each sex, or two of the same, and how has that worked out? Do you think there are more dominance issues with having two of the same sex?

I think the reality is probably down to individual differences, but just wanted to throw it out there and see what the general consensus is, here and now!


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## Muddypaws (Apr 20, 2009)

There have been many discussions on this and I really think it's personal preference. It's hard to make generalizations of which sex is cuddlier, my boy is now but my first Golden girl was a big lapdog and very velcro. I chose Kirby because she was the most independent of the 4 female puppies in the litter.

I like having my boy and girl, I love the their differences (male/female). I will say that training my girl is easier then my boy. She loves to learn and picks things up fast, Darby has a "devil-may-care" attitude about learning and the shortest attention span ever. When I get frustrated with him he just plops down and gives me those big eyes that says - "gotta love me"  Oh-yeah - I do. With Kirby she will shut down when I get frustrated because she wants to please and can't figure out what's wrong. She is much softer that way.

Either choice you can't go wrong, they are great dogs.


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## amy22 (May 11, 2008)

I have 2 girls...Misty is 3 (12/1) and Holly almost 1 (12/25) they get along great..only problem...Holly is a PLAYFUL pup and Misty is very much LAID BACK....but thats their personalities...I have always had girls..


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## Braccarius (Sep 8, 2008)

In all honesty, it doesn't matter much. I went Male / Female and they are the bestest friends you could ever have. I brought another male in to babysit and all three were the bestest friends you'd ever have. 

Personally, I prefer male dogs because I understand them better than I do females. Women from both species baffle me :-(


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

I don't think it will make much difference which gender you pick. In my experience, my male is more affectionate than my female was. Is it... Gender? or Personality? or Breeding?


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## Ranger (Nov 11, 2009)

I've always heard that male - female combos are best, male - male are second best, and female - female are the worst. The idea behind it being that males when they disagree, tend to do more posturing than actual fighting and it usually ends quickly. A pair of females, on the other hand, won't stop fighting until blood is drawn. So while the male combo posturing/scraps might happen a little more frequently, it's rarely an actual fight with injuries. The female combo is supposed to have fewer "scraps" but when they do, it's a a big blood drawn battle.

Speaking from experience, I will say that we had two male dogs when I was growing up and I can only remember a few scraps they had. Growls, snarling, snapping then nothing. We didn't even have time to get between them before it was done and NO dog was ever hurt. Even with Ranger and Blue now, sometimes they'll posture and snarl at each other but a quick "hey" and they're back to normal. 

My friend who has two female dogs has ended up taking her dogs to the vet about 12 times in the 15 years she's had them for fights. Gashes, slashes, and stitches were needed everytime. One time I was there, they started fighting and we could hardly break them apart. My other friend who has a male - female has never had a scrap, fight, or anything besides a little warning growl/snap here and there. 

It might just be coincidence, who knows, but I don't think I'll ever have a female - female pairing just on the chance that it _could _happen. I'll never forget my friend when she had to take both her dogs to the vet and she was crying so hard I had to drive. Blood everywhere.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

> I can go either way with the sex of the new pup. I do like the look of males a little better, but since we already have a very big boy, I wouldn't mind a smaller dog this time. My DH believes that female dogs in general are more cuddly, but from what I have read on forums like this one in the past, it seems like more people say that males are more cuddly, and females are more loving from a distance, or in a somewhat independent way.


I don't know how to answer this as an owner.... 

MY male golden is a cuddlebug. He does not like being alone and thrives on contact - literally. He always needs to have some part of his body touching me. Or he has to sit somewhere where he can see me (as in my avatar). 

A lot of that is nature and nurture... I think. 

I'd like to say it's just because he's a big and wonderful boy, but in behavior and sweetness, he takes after his mom. 

He's not my first golden, so definitely I can say that if you want a cuddly golden, then choose wisely. Whether it's a girl or boy. If a puppy is independant and doesn't like being picked up and held, then that's probably the type of adult dog you will have. 



> Do more people have one of each sex, or two of the same, and how has that worked out? Do you think there are more dominance issues with having two of the same sex?


We always kept two goldens at a time. And that would be two intact male goldens. And currently we have the intact golden and the neutered collie. 

There was never any competition between the dogs, because of the normal hierarchy. The adult golden will generally keep the puppy/younger dog in his place. As someone else said, there is a lot of posturing. 

And with the collie, he has been only too eager to keep the golden in his place. 

Whether you get a girl or a boy, training is very important, because both dogs need to know that when you step in to break up playfights or whatever, that they are to immediately break off the fighting. This will keep a playfight from escalating into a full fight.


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## Jax's Mom (Oct 16, 2009)

I have 3. A 19 month old male Golden, a 15 month old female Golden and a 5 month old male Golden mix. They are all altered. Contrary to what you have heard on this thread, my female got along better with a female foster I had than my new male pup, although they are coming along greatly as well. There was never any real fights ever between any of my dogs, although they are all pretty young. I think it has alot to do with personality of each sex more than the sex of the dog itself.


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## momtoMax (Apr 21, 2009)

My next dog will a boy - and a boy after that, and another boy. Well, all boys.


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## DaisyGolden (Jan 4, 2008)

I've always had girl dogs and have never really had any problems, at one time we had four girl dogs and they didn't fight. The only problem we ever had was when we had a chow mix that would snap at the others sometimes but I think that had to do with her being a chow and not being a girl.


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## harrym (Nov 13, 2010)

We have always had females, as I have always found them to be gentler and more affectionate. Never a fight. Although Lucy got tired of my daughter's male SharPei constantly bugging her and snapped back. In the ensuing fight, he bit her ear and drew blood. He hasn't been invited back.


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## lily101 (Nov 8, 2010)

i prefer girls because having two male dogs in 1 house may lead to 1 being more territorial than the other and he might start hiking his leg on your furniture. honestly i was taught that the first pup to come to you, weather boy or girl, is the 1 for you.. I'm sure you'll do find in picking the sex of your pup...good luck hope all goes well!!!!


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

lily101 said:


> i prefer girls because having two male dogs in 1 house may lead to 1 being more territorial than the other and he might start hiking his leg on your furniture. honestly i was taught that the first pup to come to you, weather boy or girl, is the 1 for you.. I'm sure you'll do find in picking the sex of your pup...good luck hope all goes well!!!!


I can't help but respond - and this isn't aimed at you, but it's something I hear a lot from people when it comes to male dogs. 

No. They are not more territorial than females. 

No. It isn't NORMAL for dogs to mark furniture.

And if that happens with your dog, then it generally is something that is fixed with training. In general though, your dog should be housetrained long before he starts marking. And goldens are not supposed to be dog aggressive or territorial.


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## Maggies mom (Jan 6, 2006)

Ranger said:


> I've always heard that male - female combos are best, male - male are second best, and female - female are the worst. The idea behind it being that males when they disagree, tend to do more posturing than actual fighting and it usually ends quickly. A pair of females, on the other hand, won't stop fighting until blood is drawn. So while the male combo posturing/scraps might happen a little more frequently, it's rarely an actual fight with injuries. The female combo is supposed to have fewer "scraps" but when they do, it's a a big blood drawn battle.QUOTE]
> 
> 
> I agree with your post 100%. I have 2 females and 2 males...if a fight were to break out its going to be my 2 females and blood is drawn. My males have never gotten into it with each other or the females. The combo in my house each of the males are paired up with the females as playmates 90% of the time....they all play together as well...


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## MittaBear (Mar 9, 2010)

I don't think a dog's personality has anything to do with gender. All of my dogs have had totally different personalities. If I had to pick who was most similar, I would say my male golden retriever is most like my femals silky terrier, and my male silky terrier is most like my female golden retriever.

I would rather choose a dog based on personality than gender. So when we got put on the list for Chester, we didn't choose a gender. We said to put us on the list as either. And since everyone on the list before us wanted females, we had to take a male.


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## GoldenOwner12 (Jun 18, 2008)

i would go by personality of the dog not by gender. I like both sexs and own both sexs. My Shelley is just as cuddly actually more cuddly then my male Einstein, She will happliy sit in my lap all day long if she could. I also reckon male/female makes a better combo.


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## GoldenSummer (Mar 26, 2010)

males I find make the most patient animals, I've personally found this to be true from hamsters, rats, dogs and cats. I don't know why, but I have always found males more relaxed and laid back. My mom has two female shihtzus, they are the first female dogs we have ever had in our family and frankly I wont do the two females ever again. Thats not to say I don't love them, I do... but their crazy as h3ll! Like its been mentioned, they can get into fights, sometimes a yell from us can stop it, other times I have literally had to pull them apart and actually got bit once over it (which I know was my fault) but they were really going at each other like crazy and these dogs are sisters, their from the same litter, they love each other but female dogs are crazy lol My grandmother did the one male one female and again, I found the male more relaxed, the female was very demanding, she would snap at Murphy (the male) and she would get jealous very easily, as do my moms dogs actually. 

Personally for me, I like male dogs, and will always have male dogs, eventually when Tys is a bit older and I get him a playmate/sibling I know without a doubt I will get another male. 

There is going to be a lot of people that will vote for every option lol, its really what works for you, what your drawn to, and like most are saying, personality does matter. The great things about Golden Retrievers is that they are an amazing breed for temperment so maybe the female Goldens are a lot like the male Goldens and will fit in perfectly with your family. As long as you go with a creditable breeder I think you will be happy with a either a male or female Golden  Labs and Goldens tend to get along great together.


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## winewinn (Jan 7, 2008)

dunevlinj said:


> I realize that there are probably as many opinions about this as there are Goldens, but we were having this discussion this morning at our house as to which would be better for us...a male or female pup?
> 
> We have an almost 3 yr old neutered male Lab, and are looking at adding a Golden pup hopefully in February if all goes well. He gets along with and adores ALL dogs, whether they are male or female, large or small breeds...he loves them!
> 
> ...


I would base moreso on temperament. With you already having a male I think either sex would be fine. A Volhard temperament test may help you determine: Volhard Puppy Aptitude Test. 

I have found this and other tests helpful for placing a puppy with a service dog organization, in which they are seeking certain traits.


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## DonnaR (Nov 16, 2010)

We have a young male lab (18 months) and just added a golden girl to our household. She is ten weeks old. They get along really well. Our lab is a big mush, loves to cuddle, same with the girl. I think something to consider is size. If your lab is a big boy you might want to factor that into your decision, since labs are very, very strong and can play hard. That way, the lab won't accidently hurt the golden. Our lab is moderate and our golden will be about the same size when grown....just a thought.


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## dunevlinj (Feb 2, 2009)

Wow! Thanks everyone for all the great replies! I am leaning towards a female, right now.
I do have concerns about things like post-spaying incontinence, but I believe there was a thread on here about preventing that(??), so I will look that up.
Yesterday, I met a 5 yr old female who had been rejected by the Seeing Eye due to being too timid; her puppy raisers got to take her back and keep her. She was the sweetest thing! Gave me my Golden-fix, LOL.

Winewinn--funny you should mention the Volhard puppy aptitude test.
When we got our Lab, I did some of the first series of tests with him, just for the heck of it. He was from a BYB, an impulsive-lets-go-just-look at the puppies purchase.
Looking at these scores, he would've gotten two 6's and three 4's. BUT he has turned out to be a sweet, loving dog who gets along with everyone and doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. I do think he would make a fabulous tracking dog, as he loves to track, and also has an independent streak still.
I will keep those tests in mind when the time comes!
Thanks everyone!


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## MarcyP (Oct 18, 2013)

*Gender of new pup*

I currently have an (almost) 11 year old male golden. He was raised with a male St. Bernard who passed away 2 years ago. They got along great. Now we want to get a golden puppy and my family really wants another male but I've read a lot about it being better to get a female instead. Since he was used to another male, do you think a male puppy should be okay?


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## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

I have 2 females and both are very cuddly. I personally wouldn't bring a male into the mix with mine because I wouldn't want to risk getting an alpha that tries to dominate the girls. I don't know if one gender is more cuddly than the other, I think it depends more on the individual dog's personality.


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## Pirate Molly (Mar 20, 2015)

I have been reading some posts in this forum, however I would like some recent input. We have had two cats and one dog , but never two dogs. Our new pup is a female and we would like to get another puppy at about the time she is two. We think another female. If she is only 2, would she most likely " mother " the puppy? Any input appreciated.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

From what I read but don't have any experience females tend to be an alpha dog. It would probably be better to bring in a male puppy.


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