# Expectations of a Pet



## potentiallygolden (Dec 21, 2011)

I was reading http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...discussion/113383-please-help-got-bit-10.html , and it prompted me to revisit a question that I've been pondering for a few months now.

What sort of behavior should I expect from my golden (or any dog), and do I need to revisit my view of social conventions to reevaluate what I find acceptable? I originally started thinking about this question after reading this article - http://flyingdogpress.com/content/view/42/97/

For instance, in the above GRF post, the OP posts about poking, prodding, putting their hands in the dog bowl while eating, etc, etc. I think that maybe the poster took a bad path in how they tried to solve/anticipate for the problem (resource guarding), but to me, I think it's valid to have expectations from your dog, such as being able to be near the dog while eating, and being able to deal with the sort of chaotic and unpredictable behavior of children.

In the article above ( http://flyingdogpress.com/content/view/42/97/ ), the author mentions how we should cut slack to our dogs if they respond to other misbehaving dogs by barking, or asserting aggression, but I guess my thought is that my dog should behave him or herself despite the fact that another dog is misbehaving.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Am I being overly rigid in my expectations from my dog (which I'll be getting in less than a week  ), or should I be willing to cut a dog more slack, and adjust my social expectations?


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

I expect excellent house manners from my goldens, so I make sure I meet their needs with an hour to three hours of off leash exercise a day, male my expectations clear and consistent for puppies, and continue lots of positive training to keep the working relationship alive and well.


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

I honestly think you do everything you can to set yourself up for success.... (starting with a reputable breeder or good assessment from a rescue, pro-active healthcare, considerable investment of your time in consistent training from day one, adequate exercise and socialization) and then just like with kids, you set high expectations, treat them with respect, kindness and consistency and then hope and pray for the best. There are no guarantees in life and sometimes you will do everything right and be disappointed. It is then up to you to manage the dog throughout his life. 

Don't over think this though.... sign up for puppy kindergarten, buy a few good books (Before and After getting your puppy by Ian Dunbar was recommended to me by the person I hope to get my next puppy from) dust off the camera and the baby gates and get ready to enjoy your baby!


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I do think your expectations are high, however, with positive training methods you can teach your dog to behave the way you want them to. 

For instance, with the food, bring them good treats while they are eating and give it to them, do it often and they will learn you approaching their food bowl is a positive thing. If they have a chew toy or bone, trade them for a higher value treat, take the bone or toy, but then give it back after they get the yummy treat. They learn it's ok for you to take their bone because you give them something better in return.

You can teach them to pay attention to you and ignore the other dogs in public, again using treats or their favorite toy to distract them and bring their focus to you. 

If your new puppy comes to you with some behaviors you don't want, cut them some slack, they just don't know what your expectations are yet. Teach them with kindness what you do want them to do, and you end up with a dog you enjoy who understands what you expect from them.

Now, meet our expectations...lots of puppy pictures are a must!


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

"Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Am I being overly rigid in my expectations from my dog (which I'll be getting in less than a week  ), or should I be willing to cut a dog more slack, and adjust my social expectations? "
very general
I don't expect a well behaved dog/pup when it walks in my door. No matter what age I get that dog I build up the behaviors I want. Yes, dogs need to learn to deal with stressful situations but again I build up on them. I don't take the pup or dog over threshold and expect it to react in an appropriate human manner. They are dogs. I have to guide and teach them what is expected of them. I set up in my mind a particular expectations and work toward it. I think a lot of people are unfair to their dogs and expect them to perform when they really don't completely understand the expectation completely.

A golden with a rock solid temperment wouldn't need to go through the steps as slowly. And if the owner/trainer makes a lot of mistakes in the training the dog will probably still be absolutely awesome. 

A golden that doesn't have that rock solid temperment (I am seeing many that don't) still can be taught/trained and their confidence built up just at a slower pace especially on adding to the stress levels during training. These dogs can become absolutely awesome also.

Then there are the dogs that are wired wrong and medicine and certain training done under the supervision of a vet behaviorist may be the answer. Sometimes there isn't a fix though.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

I think a lot of people think that dogs come out of the box, so to speak, fully trained, and forget that they're babies when you get them. And like babies, they need to be taught what is and is not acceptable. If you expect perfection constantly, you'll be disappointed. If you set goals and work towards them, expecting set backs at times, I think you'll get the dog you want. But not at 8 weeks old.


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

You missed the whole point of the Suzanne Clothier article. This article used to be required reading for our obedience classes prior to attending the class with a dog. I can't begin to tell you how many scuffles start between dogs because the other dog is being rude with the owner completely unaware of what is an appropriate encounter between dogs. Often the reacting dog becomes labeled as "aggressive or reactive" when it is a totally appropriate response between dogs toward a rude encounter.

I witnessed this at a dog show yesterday. A young lab got loose from his owner (mistake #1) and was running amuck around the grounds. He encountered a few dogs but chose to jump on top of a large Bernese Mountain Dog who was not so thrilled with this encounter. The owner was running around waving her arms while trying to catch the lab (mistake #2) which created even more excitement. At this point the Bernese Mtn Dog reacted toward the lab that was leaping around him and jumping on top of him. Thankfully the dogs were separated before any damage occurred but frankly, the Bernese responded appropriately to a very rude lab youngster. Many people faulted the Berner for reacting...sorry they were way off base with that thought.

You can definitely socialize and train and enjoy your pup but as a owner you are also responsible for protecting him and other dogs and/or people from your dog's ill behavior. As the article indicates some dogs have more tolerance than others but that is still no excuse for allowing your dog's rudeness to impact others and not expect a response.


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## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

Two things others have said are stuck in my mind.
The first is on my breeders website, it basically says that if you put the time into training in the early years , you will be rewarded with a wonderful companion. 
The second is a quote from a trainer, " your dog will learn whatever you allow it to do".
Having said this, there are always exceptions and some dogs, like children, require more patience and work than others. 
I think you have the pre-puppy jitters. Relax and enjoy!


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## potentiallygolden (Dec 21, 2011)

Thanks for your reply.

I honestly don't think I missed the point of the article. I understand that other dogs are going to misbehave, and often it is the result of their owners inattention, negligence, and acceptance of their dog's bad behavior. I don't think it's unreasonable for a dog to defend itself against what it perceives as a threat, and I don't think the article was particularly problematic or incorrect. In fact, I think that the article should be on all potential dog-owner's required reading list, especially if it gets them thinking about this stuff as much as it's gotten me to think about it. It simply got me thinking about the expectations I have for my dog, and whether I need to re-evaluate some of them.

I don't expect a puppy to come home perfectly behaved. I've owned and interacted with plenty of dogs to know that, and I'm prepared, committed, and looking forward to training it.

In the thread on GRF that I mentioned, I was noticing an underlying tone that was coming from people having different expectations about their dogs' behavior, and I was interested in seeing how different people articulated those expectations.



BayBeams said:


> You missed the whole point of the Suzanne Clothier article. This article used to be required reading for our obedience classes prior to attending the class with a dog. I can't begin to tell you how many scuffles start between dogs because the other dog is being rude with the owner completely unaware of what is an appropriate encounter between dogs. Often the reacting dog becomes labeled as "aggressive or reactive" when it is a totally appropriate response between dogs toward a rude encounter.
> 
> I witnessed this at a dog show yesterday. A young lab got loose from his owner (mistake #1) and was running amuck around the grounds. He encountered a few dogs but chose to jump on top of a large Bernese Mountain Dog who was not so thrilled with this encounter. The owner was running around waving her arms while trying to catch the lab (mistake #2) which created even more excitement. At this point the Bernese Mtn Dog reacted toward the lab that was leaping around him and jumping on top of him. Thankfully the dogs were separated before any damage occurred but frankly, the Bernese responded appropriately to a very rude lab youngster. Many people faulted the Berner for reacting...sorry they were way off base with that thought.
> 
> You can definitely socialize and train and enjoy your pup but as a owner you are also responsible for protecting him and other dogs and/or people from your dog's ill behavior. As the article indicates some dogs have more tolerance than others but that is still no excuse for allowing your dog's rudeness to impact others and not expect a response.


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## ashleylp (Jul 23, 2011)

Hmmmm... Here's what I think. We set high expectations for Remy and then help him reach and maintain those. From day one with him we placed our hands in his bowl, took toys and high values objects from him, praised his good reactions and then rewarded him by giving them back etc. We've done three obedience classes, exercise his body and mind daily, allow him to positively focus his instincts (train for hunt and field), and in return expect consistent acceptable behavior from him. Our motto is "if it would somehow hurt or scare our grandmothers, it is unacceptable" (which obviously rules out jumping, mouthing, pulling on lead, etc.). Remy is expectEd to treat other dogs with respect as well.

That being said, we respect and trust our dog at this point enough that if he displays ANY signs of aggression (growling at a stranger, getting dominant with a dog) we listen. Because he dOesnt typically exhibit these behaviors, we know something must be off. I do not want to be friends (or friendly) to someone my dog growls at... I take it as a good assessment of their character and move on. I do feel like dogs sense so much more than us. Anytime remy has shown dominance (and has happened twice with the same out of control off leash dog at our complex) I allow him to put the dog in his place and then remove both Remy and I from the situation. Only he knows what that dog is "saying" to him... And if he is reacting that way, it is for a reason.

So... In short (after this lengthy post! Sorry!) I agree with having high expectations for your dog. But once he/she is well trained and able to be trusted, I agree with allowing little "mistakes"... Our dogs are so smart and well attuned, they can often sense danger, etc. before us.


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## potentiallygolden (Dec 21, 2011)

Thanks for your thoughts on this. 

I guess I've been nervous about this because our previous dog was a very territorial and prey oriented jack russell/rat terrier mix, and I was always on pins and needles worrying about guests in my home and other animals we passed on the street, not to mention children in the house (we have 2 kids), and we also have 2 cats that we couldn't even have them in the same room as the dog. And the dog was so smart, you really couldn't give it an inch on behavior, so I found myself being much more tense and rigid than I really wanted to be or naturally was...which is why my wife and I ultimately decided on a conformation/obedience-lines golden retriever as our next pet.

In any event, I am really looking forward to getting our newest family member next weekend  



ashleylp said:


> Hmmmm... Here's what I think. We set high expectations for Remy and then help him reach and maintain those. From day one with him we placed our hands in his bowl, took toys and high values objects from him, praised his good reactions and then rewarded him by giving them back etc. We've done three obedience classes, exercise his body and mind daily, allow him to positively focus his instincts (train for hunt and field), and in return expect consistent acceptable behavior from him. Our motto is "if it would somehow hurt or scare our grandmothers, it is unacceptable" (which obviously rules out jumping, mouthing, pulling on lead, etc.). Remy is expectEd to treat other dogs with respect as well.
> 
> That being said, we respect and trust our dog at this point enough that if he displays ANY signs of aggression (growling at a stranger, getting dominant with a dog) we listen. Because he dOesnt typically exhibit these behaviors, we know something must be off. I do not want to be friends (or friendly) to someone my dog growls at... I take it as a good assessment of their character and move on. I do feel like dogs sense so much more than us. Anytime remy has shown dominance (and has happened twice with the same out of control off leash dog at our complex) I allow him to put the dog in his place and then remove both Remy and I from the situation. Only he knows what that dog is "saying" to him... And if he is reacting that way, it is for a reason.
> 
> So... In short (after this lengthy post! Sorry!) I agree with having high expectations for your dog. But once he/she is well trained and able to be trusted, I agree with allowing little "mistakes"... Our dogs are so smart and well attuned, they can often sense danger, etc. before us.


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## BayBeams (Jan 3, 2010)

You will definitely have a different type of experience with a sporting dog (Golden) as opposed to a terrier. Terrier breeds tend to be more edgy and feisty naturally. They also can be very prey driven. A Golden pup has it's own set of tendencies. Mouthiness is huge with Goldens and especially with kids you will need to redirect that behavior.
You are wise to consider your expectations for a new pup and it is great that you are doing your "research".
What I have learned with Golden puppies is to expect the unexpected. Have fun, enjoy the ride and you won't be disappointed.


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## My Big Kahuna (Dec 14, 2011)

I have very high expectations from all of my dogs, Kahuna included... That being said, you have to set them up for success... You cannot "tell" them what to do so it's a process... Consistently correct unwanted behavior and reward good behavior and don't take anything the pup does personally... In the puppy class where I am apprentice training several of the owners take it very personally when their pup does not perform, but has never been set up to do well! They aren't doing it on purpose... Enjoy your pup...


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## goldhaven (Sep 3, 2009)

BayBeams said:


> I witnessed this at a dog show yesterday. A young lab got loose from his owner (mistake #1) and was running amuck around the grounds. He encountered a few dogs but chose to jump on top of a large Bernese Mountain Dog who was not so thrilled with this encounter. The owner was running around waving her arms while trying to catch the lab (mistake #2) which created even more excitement. At this point the Bernese Mtn Dog reacted toward the lab that was leaping around him and jumping on top of him. Thankfully the dogs were separated before any damage occurred but frankly, the Bernese responded appropriately to a very rude lab youngster. Many people faulted the Berner for reacting...sorry they were way off base with that thought.
> 
> You can definitely socialize and train and enjoy your pup but *as a owner you are also responsible for protecting him *and other dogs an d/or people from your dog's ill behavior. As the article indicates some dogs have more tolerance than others but that is still no excuse for allowing your dog's rudeness to impact others and not expect a response.


I totally agree with this and that is why if I were the owner of the BMD that crazy little lab would have had to go through me to get to my dog. If my dogs don't like the behavior of another dog, they will always stand behind me. As an owner, I am responsible for protecting them.


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## potentiallygolden (Dec 21, 2011)

The Terrier was definitely a challenge. I talked to a trainer, and he told me "The thing you've gotta remember about jack russells is that they were bred to pull viscious foxes out of dirty holes by their faces, and the dog will be happiest if it can kill a squirrel once a week."

I'm definitely prepared for mouthiness, and ready to work with the puppy, and know there will be challenging times, and I know I've picked the right breed (I had a golden retriever for about 10 years when I was a kid). It's just that I've had about 5 months to think about this stuff, and have probably over-analyzed everything to death by this point, which is what's making me so nervous. 



BayBeams said:


> You will definitely have a different type of experience with a sporting dog (Golden) as opposed to a terrier. Terrier breeds tend to be more edgy and feisty naturally. They also can be very prey driven. A Golden pup has it's own set of tendencies. Mouthiness is huge with Goldens and especially with kids you will need to redirect that behavior.
> You are wise to consider your expectations for a new pup and it is great that you are doing your "research".
> What I have learned with Golden puppies is to expect the unexpected. Have fun, enjoy the ride and you won't be disappointed.


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## potentiallygolden (Dec 21, 2011)

goldhaven said:


> I totally agree with this and that is why if I were the owner of the BMD that crazy little lab would have had to go through me to get to my dog. If my dogs don't like the behavior of another dog, they will always stand behind me. As an owner, I am responsible for protecting them.


Very well put


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