# The Sudden and Unexpected Death of a Young Golden - Daphne



## robmichael313 (Nov 3, 2013)

Yesterday afternoon our beloved golden Daphne, three and one half years old, died suddenly and unexpectedly. I found her still warm but lifeless body on the deck of our house, facing the garden. Her eyes were closed. Thus my first impression was that she was simply napping. When I bent down to touch her I discovered the horrible truth. I was shocked, perplexed, saddened, confused and panic-stricken all at the same time. Less than an hour earlier Daphne had been her usual self. There were no signs that anything was amiss.

I managed to carry her to my vehicle to take her remains to her veterinarian. Staff members were waiting for me when I arrived at Williamsburg’s Godspeed Animal Hospital. What I wanted to know was what happened and why? Daphne’s veterinarian, Dr. Schiller, who also has a golden, was kind, sympathetic and responsive in responding to my question as to why Daphne and why now? Dr. Schiller examined Daphne and could find no outward manifestations of trauma, illness or poisoning. Her suggestion was that the cause of Daphne’s death may be attributable to hemangioscarcoma – a form of cancer that is increasingly showing up in otherwise healthy goldens. Dr. Schiller assured me that Daphne’s death was so sudden that it was unlikely that she had an extended period of pain.

Daphne was one year old when we were fortunate enough to adopt her. We loved her unreservedly and she rewarded our love with sweetness, devotion and loyalty. She enjoyed our fenced in garden where she chased every interloper that dared to enter her domain to include bunnies, squirrels and birds. She was also fond of her food…she got nothing but the best (Blue Buffalo) in the recommended proportions. She was well cared for in every way imaginable.

One of Daphne’s most interesting attributes was her sniffing. Her nose was her window to the world. The first time she encountered any new object, animate or inanimate, she had to sniff and catalog it. Our thirty-minute walk every morning was always stop-and-go as Daphne sorted out, with her nose, who or what was or had been on our path.

Daphne had a collection of stuffed animals which we referred to as her “babies.” We would ask Daphne, “where’s your baby?” and she would retrieve one for our inspection.

Like the vast majority of goldens she was highly sociable. She loved company. Of course, all visitors, workers included, had to pass her sniff test. She couldn’t bear to be alone… which even now makes me sad because she was alone, even though I was near, when tragedy struck. 

My wife was at work when all of this happened. She suspected something was wrong when Daphne was not at the door to greet her with wagging tail and a baby in her mouth. All I could do was put my arms around her and tell her what had happened. Through our tears we expressed our mutual disbelief on the loss of Daphne who was such a vital member of our family. Dr. Schiller called and comforted her. That evening, our sons and their families ,who had been advised by me via email of Daphne’s death, also called to offer sympathy and consoling words.

Over the years all of our animal companions have been special, each in his or her own way. Daphne was our third golden - - her predecessors, Sally and Duncan, died from lymphoma. Our other companions included Caroline, a magnificent and loving Leonberger we brought back to the States from Germany, Uschi, a Newfoundland who lived to be 15, and Mamie, an SPCA rescue of indeterminate breed whose smile could light up a room. Of all these dogs Daphne was the only one who devoted herself exclusively to my wife. They developed a bond of mutual affection that was unbreakable. I may have had the privilege of walking and feeding Daphne but it was my wife who was the great love of her life.

We are in that stage of the grieving period when we anticipate her snuggling up to us at some point in the day. While we have removed her bed and feeding dishes and put away her toys, there is still a paw print on the deck and the smudged impression of her nose on a window pane. We feel the loss and miss her deeply.

We are not certain we want to adopt again. We recognize how much Daphne gave us in the two and one half years she was with us. But when we put that up against the intensity of the grief and sorrow we now feel at her unexpected loss, we ask ourselves if we could once more bear the pain and sadness at losing a much loved family member.

We have only fond memories of Daphne. These memories are helping us to get through the first 48 hours. We are upset, have lost our appetites and sleeping is problematic. We realize that the grief will eventually abate as other matters command our attention. For the moment, however, all our thoughts, and even prayers, our with our sweet, gentle and kind Daphne. She will always have a special place in our hearts.


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## TheZ's (Jun 13, 2011)

So very sorry for your loss of Daphne. She sounds like she was a wonderful girl. Having within the last week lost our own Zoe, a couple years older than Daphne but still young, I know exactly what you are feeling. It must have been a terrible shock to lose her so suddenly but it is a blessing that she didn't suffer and you did not have to see her decline. May the good memories of her remain with you forever.


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

So sorry for your loss. I know what your going thru, it's just awful when they pass. But the way it happened to you is just awful. Know you'll see her again.


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

My heart breaks for you, I am so very, very sorry. Gone way too soon, we never have them long enough. I hope you feel some relief that Daphne had a forever home, and new the love of that before she passed; there are some who never get that privilege. You are in my thoughts and prayers. RIP sweet girl.


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

So very very sorry. Losing a dog is heartbreaking anyway, but losing one so young and so suddenly must be unbearable. I am only glad that she did not suffer.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

There are no words to ease the shock and grief of her sudden passing. But there are many people on this board, sadly, who know from personal experience exactly what you are feeling. You have found a group of people who will understand and support you through your grieving, when maybe other people around you don't understand why it lingers and is so hard.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

I am so heartbroken for your family. What a sad and tragic thing to befall you.
My sincere condolences. Robin


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so very sorry for the loss of your Daphne. 

My heart goes out to you, I know how much it hurts and what you're going through. Too many of us here do. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. 

Godspeed sweet Daphne

If you'd like to share pictures of Daphne, we'd love to see your girl.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

The young goldens dying,is just heartbreaking, it just is so very sad.


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss, your baby was way too young.

I lost three boys to hemangiosarcoma, the first one was only 5 1/2 no signs till an hour before he died. 
My Toby whom I lost in March was ten years old, he did not show any signs till four days before we had to let him go. This is a terrible cancer and strikes indiscriminately and fast.

I am so so sorry for your loss. We understand, so many of us have been through this, you are not alone in this.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

How tragic  I am so so very sorry for your loss of beautiful Daphne. You must be heartbroken, she was way too young. It hurts at any age to lose them but you can't help but feel that they were cheated of life when they were young. We lost our girl aged 3 too so can understand how you are feeling. Try and focus on your lovely memories of her, even though you had only a short time together you were blessed to have known such a special girl.


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## robmichael313 (Nov 3, 2013)

Thank you for your kind and comforting words. They are appreciated.


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## robmichael313 (Nov 3, 2013)

Zoe. As gorgeous as they come and I will bet anything with a personality and heart to match the beauty. My condolences to you on the loss not only to you but to many others of a very special Golden.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I'm so sorry you found us in such sadness. I'm so sorry for your loss. You must be feeling such shock and loss. I wish I could say something to take away the grief - I know how intense it can be. We would love to see pictures of your Daphne. My heart goes out to you and your wife.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

My heart breaks for you. I know this is a horrific thing to go through. We have lost too many goldens to hemangiosarcoma. It is EVIL. My thoughts are with you.


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## Sydney's Mom (May 1, 2012)

Oh my. How horribly tragic. I'm so sorry for your loss. Like others, would love to see some photos of your girl when you're ready.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I'm very sorry.... 

The youngest golden we lost was 6 years old, but even there.... we knew we were going to lose him 6 months before his time came. We basically knew he only had one viable kidney, and it was starting to fail. That was not cancer, and I said before and will again - that was far more horrific than losing a dog to cancer. He suffered so much more than the boys who died from cancer did.

I can't even imagine or fathom losing a dog at home. Especially such a young dog who showed no signs of being ill. I lost two old men to hemangiosarcoma of the spleen. They were _old_ though and both times there were telling signs that things were not well at least days before. 

Somebody told me that they lost a young dog (I believe 5 years old) to cardiac hemangiosarcoma. And very much the same as with your dog, their dog suddenly collapsed and died. No warnings. 

Aside from cancer, I believe there are conditions which would cause sudden death - like SAS. 

Everyone is different in how they handle their grief. I was talking to our next door neighbor while letting the dogs visit with him... he always had labs, but now he's old and less able to handle the grief of loss time and again. I pointed at the two goldens snuggling up to him and told him that the two of them were the reason why I do not still grieve for our lost dogs. As always, I see a lot of things I loved in my past dogs in these two. It helps.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Just know that she will always be with you.


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## dogloverforlife (Feb 17, 2013)

I am so so sorry and in tears. That is no way for a loving pet to pass. Cancer sucks

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## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

So sorry for your sudden and tragic loss. RIP Daphne.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I'm so terribly sorry. Daphne sounds like such a special, special girl. My prayers are with you and your wife as you grieve.


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## MaxMom (May 28, 2013)

I am so so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful girl you had! We lost our Max to the same dreadful cancer this year. Our hearts are still broken and we will miss him forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.


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## thorbreafortuna (Jun 9, 2013)

My heartfelt condolences to you and your wife. I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. So young, and by your account, such a beautiful, loving dog. Your epitaph is lovely and it is a testimony to how much she was loved and what a happy, even if short, life she enjoyed with you.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

Very sorry for the sudden loss of Daphne. So tragic to lose her at such a young age.


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## MaureenM (Sep 20, 2011)

I'm so sorry for you and your family. Daphne will be with you always.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I am so sorry you are having to face this heartbreaking ordeal. I hurt for for you. Daphne was a wonderful companion. Words cannot describe what you must be experiencing. This is so very unfortunate. May the fond memories of Daphne last forever.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Robmichael*

Robmichael

My heart is breaking reading about Daphne!
I feel so awful for you and your wife!
Praying your hearts can heal.
I, too, have rescue dogs!
I added Daphne to the 2013 Rainbow Bridge List:
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...t/124789-grf-goldens-passed-2013-list-23.html


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## Artnlibsmom (May 8, 2013)

So terribly sorry for your loss of your special girl Daphne. Cancer has taken so many of our babies. I lost my girl, Liberty (7 years old) in May to hemangio, and her brother, Artemis was diagnosed with Multiple Mylenoma last Monday. I agree with you on how horribly painful dealing with the sudden loss is, may Daphne's memories during good times replace your last memories of her loss. Everyone is different, some feel the need to bring a new life into their home right away, some need time, some are not able to. Give yourself time to grieve your wonderful girl. You will find that her spirit will lead you in the direction that is best for you. Fly high sweet Daphne.


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## robmichael313 (Nov 3, 2013)

Dear Friends:

My wife Lore and I would like to thank you for your exceptionally kind and thoughtful responses to the loss of our much beloved Daphne. We are not yet past the first 48 hours when I discovered Daphne’s still body lying on the deck. Her eyes were closed and she truly appeared to be napping. It consoles us somewhat that no matter how sudden and unexpected her death, there was likely no pain.

We will always cherish the golden time we had with this special golden. We enjoyed each other’s company. To paraphrase Michael Montainge, when we were playing with Daphne how did we know that she was not playing with us? We deserved more time with her and she with us. But it was not to be.

There are cynics out there who regard as absurd the idea of grieving for a pet, a “dumb” animal. They see the companions who have become important parts of our lives as easily replaceable. Their attitude is one of, “You lost one. So what? Get over it and get another.” 

In the annals of grief, the sorrow we feel and want to express on behalf of a departed animal companion, is not given much priority. There is no ceremony, no special dress, obituaries, visitation or services that we associate with the passing of a pet. If one wants a pet buried in sacred ground there are special hurdles to be negotiated. Regardless of the important, sometimes even central role that an animal companion has played in our lives, the death of that pet ranks fairly low among society’s concerns. The truth is that many pet owners, as we have seen in a number of recent natural disasters, will risk their own lives to save their animal companions. And it is only recently that authorities have learned that some people will not use public shelters if that means abandoning their animal companions to their fate.

This forum, while dedicated to golden retrievers, has made it possible for my wife and me to reach out to others who know the real pain that comes from losing a much loved four-legged family member. We also hope that by sharing our experience that we may alert others to what appears to be a growing medical problem, an insidious form of cancer, that is prematurely decimating a superb breed of dogs.

We miss our Daphne. We still expect to find her greeting us at the door, her tail wagging and a favorite toy in her mouth. There was such joy in Daphne…a joy that came from seeing us and looking forward to spending time together. Yes…we miss our Daphne. And I have no doubt, no doubt at all, that she misses us.


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

dear Rob,
my Pudden died so suddenly and unexpectedly that I assume the cause was likely Hemangiosarcoma as well, although I don't know for sure. I was with her when she died, and if your Daphne went like Pudden did, be assured there would have been no pain. It was almost instantaneous, from when she collapsed to when I felt her heart stop under my hand it was probably only a minute.

It's been 2 weeks and I sort-of function, but evenings are hardest, when my sweet warm Pudden isn't there.


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## *Laura* (Dec 13, 2011)

I'm so very sorry for the sudden loss of your Daphne. Rest softly sweet girl


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## Mayve (Aug 21, 2012)

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Daphne. Hermangio is one of my greatest fears with my Sage and foster, Hawk. I've lost dogs and cats and each time it has been hard but none harder than when we lost our Maggie last year and then her sister about 9 mos later. Sage has helped heal some wounds and fostering has helped heal others...yet the ache for the others still remains though thankfully not as raw. I wish you both peace and send prayers and hugs your way! We all understand and you will not find a more supportive place!

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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

I am so sorry. Three is way too young, even young for Hemangio. I lost my second golden suddenly -- he was 7 and I still vividly remember the shock I felt. 

Harley also had his "babies" and every so often he would treat one of them to a walk. Once a car stopped and the man said "She's taking her baby for a walk" I just laughed and didn't correct him that Harley was a boy who carried his babies! 

This will take time for you to absorb everything. Talk it out if you feel the need, that's what we are here for.


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## Ripley16 (Jan 26, 2012)

I am so sorry for you loss of your sweet girl. You and your wife and in my thoughts.


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your sweet girl. Rest in peace.


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## Always51 (Feb 19, 2012)

So sorry for the loss of such a young girl...big hugs


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

I am so sorry for the loss of Daphne. So tragic!


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## Maddie'sMom2011 (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy, but so young ...

Rest in peace sweet Daphne, run fast & join our bridge babies. They"ll show you the way.


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## Zuca's mom (Aug 14, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was beautiful. Take comfort that you loved her and cared so well for her and she loved you unconditionally. You gave her two and a half years wonderful years.


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## Forever Cooper (Jun 29, 2013)

My heart broke for you. Was there four months ago. He was young and passed in such a sudden and unexpected way too.


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## CarolinaCasey (Jun 1, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. Your love for her shines through your words. Gone too soon but much loved during her short time on earth. 


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So very sorry for your loss of Daphne and far too young to go to the bridge. I have no words that will help at this sad time, but we are thinking of you both as you try and somehow adapt to life without your golden girl.

THERE IS A CYCLE OF LOVE AND DEATH THAT SHAPES THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO TRAVEL IN THE COMPANY OF ANIMALS.

 IT IS A CYCLE UNLIKE ANY OTHER. TO THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER LIVED THROUGH IT'S TURNINGS OR WALKED IT'S ROCKY PATH,  OUR WILLINGNESS TO GIVE OUR HEARTS WITH FULL KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY WILL BE BROKEN SEEMS INCOMPREHENSIBLE. ONLY WE KNOW HOW SMALL A PRICE WE PAY FOR WHAT WE RECEIVE, OUR GRIEF, NO MATTER HOW POWERFUL IT MAY BE, IS AN INSUFFICIENT MEASURE OF THE JOY WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN

Run free and fast and sleep softly Daphne


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## CharlieCooper (Jun 11, 2013)

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl, Daphne. It is so unfair that it was so sudden and unexpected. Her being so young makes it even more difficult. I lost my 3 year old golden, Charlie, 5 months ago. It was conpletely unexpected. We brought him in Saturday morning bc he had a large belly and threw up a couple of times.. By Sunday night, they called us and told us we had to put him down. He had an enlarged heart, mass in his spleen, low RBC count, and no blood transfusions were working. He just turned 3 a month prior. He was healthy, happy, and perfectly fine up until a week before he passed. Vets believe it was cancer, and we truly believe it was hemangioma, like your Daphne had. I still mourn for him 5 months later. It is so hard bc they are babies and it isn't their time and it's so unfair. We started to attend 2 million dog Puppy Up! Walks.. An organization that was created by a man who lost 2 dogs to cancer and he is now facing it again with his third dog. Look them up, attend their walks in your area, it has truly helped us cope and speak with others about the difficulties of cancer in dogs. My heart goes out to you. I am crying as I read this. Rest in peace, sweet girl. Please post pictures and stories of her, I would love to see and read!


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## Terri70 (Nov 2, 2005)

Awww so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. My Gunner was ill for 3 mos. at 8 years old, collapsed 5 times due to fluid build up around his heart. The last time I had just gotten him to the vet when he finally passed. It was EXTREMELY hard on me! My son took it hard as well and just about broke his hand on a tree punching it when it happened. Even though he was not officially diagnosed with it, the vet and the vet school both were thinking it was Hemangiosarcoma. The first 4 times he collapsed we were able to see the signs and get him to the vet school in time so they could draw the fluid off his heart, then he would be fine like nothing was wrong. The 5th and final time was quick and without warning. This was on 10-10-13. And even though I knew he was sick and might die it was a complete shock. He was such a HUGE part of my life that I was lost for a couple weeks. I would hear things that sounded like him, sense him and just had to keep telling myself he was gone. 

I didn't think at first that I could deal with getting another Golden, but I found a litter that was born on the same day that Gunner passed and one of the largest males (Gunner was a BIG boy at 122lbs and stood as tall as I do at 5'6") came straight to me all wobbly! lol I truly believe Gunner is giving me thumbs up about Samson. He will NEVER replace Gunner, but having a new journey with him will I think be a world of good for me and my kids. We are excited!!!! I hope that one day you will feel the same.


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## boomers_dawn (Sep 20, 2009)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.


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## patrice (Nov 3, 2011)

So very sorry for your loss. She was so young, and there really are no words to make it all better. For all of her young innocent life she was with you and your family. That was where she belonged. Her sweet life was left in your caring hands, and there is a reason for that.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

I am so sorry for your loss 


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I'm so very sorry


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## coaraujo (Nov 2, 2012)

I am so very sorry for your loss, taken too soon, way too young. <3


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## Natural Pets (Nov 5, 2013)

This story was heartbreaking and I hope you are starting to cope better. It is horrible when you lose them so young. 
In may this year I lost a 5 year old pointer to heart disease, there really isn't a day goes by when I don't think about her and still weep.
These dogs get under our skin. Something that really helped me was when a friend said that they were only here on loan. We will be with them again I just know.


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## Bentman2 (Sep 30, 2013)

*Daphne*

When the *Lord *created animals in the 6th day of creation, He knew man would need to have someone else other than women to fill in the empty places. Animals were such an important part of His creation that these were paramount in consideration on how big to build the ark. The dog is the only animals that He allows man to have such control over in breeding and domesticating. The dog is second only to human in winning our affection and love. So it only stands to reason that Daphne would capture a large part of your heart. Animals will always be part of His Kingdom. Because man is so important to God, it stands to reason that animals will be there too to enjoy not only God but man. The Bible says *" eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor entered into the heart of man, those things that the Lord has prepared for those who love Him." I would fully expect the dog to be in Heaven, if not our own, then one we can love as our own. *We share your grief during this time.


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