# Seeking help processing the sudden illness of my golden



## dogmama (May 3, 2015)

I had to put down my dear Amber 2 days ago, a 11yr9mo old golden who was my first dog and my best friend, and am still trying to understand what happened. She had occasional vomiting and trouble eating her food, cysts all over (common in senior goldens), slowing down but still happy and jumping on the couch, playful but lethargic, she seemed healthy. A week ago she threw up a lot of blood but then fully recovered and ate/drank normally. Then 2 days ago she came and got me on the couch, told me to take her outside. She started shaking, convulsing abdomen, threw up bile, then suddenly collapsed and couldn't walk or barely open her eyes. I took her to emergency, thought it was rat poison but the coagulation test was fine. They did an X-ray and found abdominal masses in her stomach and liver, which was enlarged, and CBC showed elevated liver enzymes. I took her home with me on a gurney, next day she was not eating/drinking/walking at all and after a day on IV fluids she was not getting any better so I decided it was her time to go. *Has anyone been through this?* We think it was cancer but she was so sick I could not subject her to anymore tests and her heart was too weak for surgery.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am sorry for your loss.

Many of us have been through what you experienced. It was probably cancer (hemangio), and there was nothing you could have done about it other than letting her go - her pain is over, you gave her a final act of love to honor the loving relationship with your dog.

Again, I am so very sorry.


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## Anon-2130948gsoni (Apr 12, 2014)

I'm so sorry you're going through this terrible loss. Too many of us here have been through similarly sudden deaths of our beloved Goldens, so we know all too well how hard it is.

It sounds very much like cancer, which took both of my senior Goldens. My first girl had stomach cancer and my second rescue, Boomer, had to be put down due to hemangiosarcoma, which is the sneakiest, most evil disease because there really are no symptoms until it's too late. Even when it's caught somewhat early, there is really not much that can be done...there is no cure and even palliative measures don't delay it much.

It sounds like this might have been what took your girl, as well, although it usually targets the heart or the spleen. But liver cancer is also all too common.

I've had a year now to think about my Boo's death and in a way, for me, not knowing was better. If I had known for weeks or months that this was coming, it would have haunted me every minute and my stress would have stressed him. This way was better...his last few months he played, walked, stole my socks, and enjoyed every day. 

You gave your dog a wonderful life. In the end, that's the best we can do.

Sending my deepest sympathy.


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

I totally agree with Sunrise, you did all you could. Hemangiosarcoma is a fairly common cancer, that often strikes without warning. The what if's can drive you crazy, you were blessed to have each other for almost 12 years.
I too, am so very sorry for your loss.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

Yep. Just in January. Your pup probably had hemangiosarcoma. It hits suddenly with no symptoms. Jake got sick overnight with vomiting. He collapsed and went into shock. We didn't know what was wrong so we had the fluid drained. He then was a normal dog for two weeks. Had a small episode and was fine for a week. Then the third week he collapsed and was really bad we had to let him go. So sorry for your loss.


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I went through this with a 10 year old german shepherd. Collapsed on me late one night when I was bringing him in, I had to carry him into the house, vet was already closed. He came to and ate when I fed him, not dog food but bologna. I slept with him all night on the floor, next morning brought him outside, and he peed blood. Called the vet when they opened, they had me look at his gums they were white. Brought him in, they started testing - x-rays showed enlarged spleen - they could tell he was bleeding internally - they also questioned rat poison. By the end of the day, I decided to let him go instead of waiting for test results too. They told me it looked like everything pointed to cancer of the spleen and a cyst probably broke away - that would have caused the suddenness of everything.


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

We went through something very similar with our first Golden, also called Amber! She was only 9 when she suddenly got real sick. After going through all the tests with our vet, it was determined she had cancer. A few days later we had to help her cross over the bridge....it broke our hearts as yours is broken now.

Nothing I can say will help you through the pain, but at least know that most of us have been through something similar. And we all know, you did what was best for you Golden...


One of the most important gifts you can give your pup, was to help her leave this world when it all becomes to much for both of you. Helping her cross over the Rainbow Bridge is very hard...but you knew when she needed one more loving act from you...

In time you will be able to focus on what you had with her throughout her life! They are special creatures who give us so much, we are blessed to have them, even if it is for such a short time. 

God Bless! The healing takes time....but the memories are forever!


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## Yaichi's Mom (Jul 21, 2012)

First let me say how terribly sorry I am to read the news about your beloved Amber.

Sadly, too many of us know how this horrible cancer blind sides us without much or any warning.

I too lost my beloved Yaichi on July 18, 2012 to what I suspect is this horrible disease. The last couple of weeks she was a bit more needy that usually and would be making the sounds she usually did when she wanted an ear rub. I remember even getting annoyed at her after numerous ear rubs that she was keeping these vocalizations going. Only after she collapsed did I realize that she was trying to tell me something and I wasn't listening. I will forever feel guilty about this, however I also know that there would have been nothing I could have done to change the outcome, had I known.

Hemangiosarcoma is a horrible and sneaky cancer whose symptoms manifest differently in every dog.

Please know there is nothing else you could have done for your girl. 

May the love and memories you shared help comfort your heart in time.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

Back in oct at jakes annual physical our vet mentioned jakes lungs sounded rough and his liver seemed a little enlarged. The vet didn't seem to concerned so my mom decided she was going to wait until after Christmas for a exray. He seemed fine so we didn't think nothing of waiting. A week before Christmas is when he collapsed. We ended up losing him in Jan. We knew Goldens had a high risk of cancer but really didn't understand hemo or how silent it was. To this day my mom feels guilty for not having the exray done in oct. Would it of made a difference. Probably not. But in her mind she will always feel guilty. Now that we have been through it once we will be much more proactive and watching for changes in our new pup. The situation with Jake was a huge learning experience. Even with the exrays and ultrasound she still feels she didn't go one step further with a Ct scan so we knew right where the bleed was coming from.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I'm very sorry for your loss.


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

I am so very sorry for your loss! You did all you could. 
I lost four dogs to this terrible cancer, it does not get easier. 
The emergency vet told me that this is the most common cancer in dogs, especially the retriever breeds. Most of the time by the time it is diagnosed, it is too late as it was in all four of mine. 
Again, so sorry!


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## dogmama (May 3, 2015)

*thank you*

Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts, and for helping me through such a shocking and confusing time. I have learned so much, I knew that goldens had a high risk of cancer but I didn't think it would happen to mine and had never even heard of hemangiosarcoma until Amber got so suddenly sick. I agree that it was likely hemangiosarcoma. There's nothing like the pain of losing your best friend, there for me through thick and thin, we were a pair and always together! Even though it hurts to lose her, nothing can replace the fun times we had growing up together and I would still like to have another golden in my life once I heal and am ready. I know she's in doggie heaven, and much happier without all the pain. I'm glad I was able to be there while she passed, and she knew how much I loved her.


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## Cpc1972 (Feb 23, 2015)

Beautiful girl.


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## KKaren (Oct 29, 2014)

Amber is a beauty, thank you for sharing her pictures. I'm sorry that she got sick and for your loss, but very glad that you had so much joy together and that she knew your love. Rest easy sweet girl.


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

I'm Still Here 
Friend, please don't mourn for me
I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I'm always near.
I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I'll never wander out of your sight-
I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
I'll never be beyond your reach-
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace! 
Author Unknown


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## MyMaggieGirl (Nov 12, 2008)

So sorry for the loss of your Amber, she was a beautiful red girl.


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