# I don't really know what to do.. I'd appreciate some advice..



## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

I just joined this board earlier this week. My golden Jeter (8yr old) was diagnosed with perianal adecarenoma. We were hoping that the mass was benign so we could neuter him which would help shrink the mass and then do surgery to remove it. They did a fine needle aspirate last Friday, we got the results on Monday that it was Malignant. We were so sad. Our options were to then do a biopsy to determine the type and stage of cancer, followed by x-rays and ultrasounds. Then surgery. The size of his mass and where it is will make surgery very difficult to get the extra margin they need, he would definitely be incontinent after. Then most likely need chemo. 

We decided to keep him confortable and try to find some holisitic treatment options. Each day since he has gotten worse. At first we wouldn't leave the mass alone, he was biting it, it was bleeding/oozing. So we started giving him benedryl to stop the itching. He will not eat any dog food. We started giving him ground turkey, he ate it the first day. When I gave it to him last night, he took a few bites, and I only think he did that to make me happy. Today he wouldn't even look at it. He had one small poop yesterday, it doesn't seem like he's having trouble pooping, but I don't know how much pain he is hiding. We are going to try the turkey again tonight after the benedryl has worn off, maybe he was just loopy and out of it from the benedryl? 

I live upstairs from my mother in law and she watches my daughter when I go to work, so when I brought her down, I brought Jeter down so he wouldn't be home alone. It took a lot of coaxing to get him up and moving, when he normally loves going outside and getting out of the house.

How do you know when it's time? I really hate making this decision.. I wish they could just talk to us. I am so sad.. he was our first fur baby. What would you do... 

I've attached pictures from today.. you can see how large the mass is under his tail.. it's ulcerating pretty badly..


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## Bentleysmom (Aug 11, 2012)

awww poor baby! I'm so sorry. You are the only one that will know when it's the right time. I don't allow mine to ever suffer but I believe only you can decide when that is. Good luck.
Welcome to GRF, I wish it was under different circumstances. ♥


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

I agree with Joyce. In the case of a terminally ill dog I wouldn't let them suffer. We had to put both our dogs down in a 1 year 1 month of each other. Nothing is harder, except watching them suffer and knowing you can end their pain. I'm sorry you, too will have to make such a heartbreaking decision.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

I am so sorry about your boy. I agree with others, only you will know when it's time. Until then, just love on him extra hard and feed him his most favorite treats or whatever else seems to lift his spirits a bit. Sending virtual hugs to you.


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## Doug (Jul 17, 2010)

I am so sorry.

Deciding when was the most painful part for me. There comes a point where death is seen as a blessing and living is the curse. BentleysMom is right, only you know your dog well enough to decide, but when the time comes it is usually pretty crystal clear until then continue to spoil your precious boy. I found that we had to continually change food to get my girl to eat. If only love could make them better.

Good luck, our hearts and best wishes go out to you, we understand how intense this is.


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

I am so sorry that this is happening to your sweet Jeter. The decision is one only you can make. I can tell you that when our Chewy had cancer, stopped moving and stopped eating a few years ago, we decided to let her go.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Is it too late to do surgery to remove the mass? You can deal with incontinence, and you could give him more quality time.

Ultimately that is how you decide, does he still have a good quality of life? Look at him, look in his eyes what do you see? Think about how he spends his days, does he have quality of life? Can you do anything to improve his quality of life? If he does not have good quality, and there is nothing you can do to improve it, you have to make the hard choice. Just don't let him suffer when there is no hope to improve his quality of life.


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## tess (Mar 24, 2008)

Jeter looks like a sweetie, just the kind of golden boy I love. Is he on pain medication? Something like tramadol could make him more comfortable. Reading about the type of cancer he has, sometimes they can get hypercalciumia, which causes nausea and lack of appetite. Did they check his calcium level? It can be treated. There also is something called palliative radiation, it's 3-4 treatments once a week, it can stabilize the tumor for some time. I have had 3 goldens with cancer I know how hard this is. My thoughts are with you.


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## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

thanks everyone. My husband called me when he came home and said Jeter was happy to see him, he even jumped up on him when he got him excited enough. 

I think the benedryl was really wearing him down.. he is going to try and not give him any unless he really starts messing with the mass. 

He will eat table food.. like pizza crust.. i had some pepperoni in the fridge and I tried to give him some and he did eat that. He will eat dog treats... but that's it. He is being totally picky, which is not like him. 

mylissyk.. they fear with the surgery, since it is malignant, that it will be very difficult to get a good margin, and with how rapidly this thing is growing, it will probably come right back. She pretty much told me that they would have to remove the rectum and then put it back.. he would probably need a skin graph (sp?) to close it up properly. 

we are going to see how he does through the weekend, at least we will be home and not working, and can monitor him closely. I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and support


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## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

Thanks Tess.. maybe that's why he preferring table food over what he should be eating..


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## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

Well Jeter is showing us tonight that this will be his last night with us. 

I love my boy.. I will be so sad to bring him tomorrow. He went on a 40 minute walk with me yesterday and was as happy as can be and today he almost fell down the stairs.. I can't believe how fast this is happening.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

So sorry that you are going through this with poor Jeter. It's such a hard decision to have to make when to let them go, but it sounds like you have decided it's time. It really is heartbreaking  Try and stay strong and know that you are giving him the final gift of love by freeing him from his pain, and taking it on yourself. Lots of us here have lost golden best friends and know how you are feeling. Take care.


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

acrofford said:


> Well Jeter is showing us tonight that this will be his last night with us.
> 
> I love my boy.. I will be so sad to bring him tomorrow. He went on a 40 minute walk with me yesterday and was as happy as can be and today he almost fell down the stairs.. I can't believe how fast this is happening.


My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

I am so sorry. Please take care.


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## Mayve (Aug 21, 2012)

Sending hugs and prayers!

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## Thalie (Jan 20, 2008)

I am so sad for you and your family that Jeter's time has come so fast. You are giving him the last gift by releasing him. Hugs to you and yours, ear scritches to sweet Jeter.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I am just seeing your post. I am so sorry that his condition has gotten worse so very quickly. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jeter.


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## Ljilly28 (Jan 22, 2008)

This is the hardest thing about loving dog, and it is such a period of crisis and decision-making. I know I felt way worse about the one time I waited too long, then the times I dug down deep to say goodbye before any intense/immense suffering. The final images stay for a while, but then the happy memories slowly come back, and in a way give you your dog back and make you feel his is with you. I am so sorry you have to face this.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

My thoughts are with you - I hope for you all to be able to find some peace.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

Its so hard to say goodbye but sometimes we just need to set them free. I am so sorry for all your pain. Hugs and prayers..


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

I am so sorry for what you're going through, many of us know it all too well. This is the final gift of selflessness you can give; removing all his pain. Sleep softly pretty boy.


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## Cathy's Gunner (Dec 4, 2008)

I'm so sorry to read your story. Praying all of you have a good weekend together. Your boy looks very sweet. I'm sorry you have to make this decision.


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## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

Hi everyone. ..

We let Jeter go this morning. It was such a sad time. I miss that boy so much. My husband and I are such a mess. I am going to be sad for a long while. I keep turning around thinking he is right behind me, following me around. .. 

I'm going to print out some pics of him and make a shadow box collage with his collar in it. 

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## Max's Dad (Apr 23, 2012)

So sorry for your loss.


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## Doug (Jul 17, 2010)

I am so sorry to hear this. Jetter is too young. It must have been so hard to witness him go through that. 

In time you will realise that releasing him was a loving gift even though the emptiness is overwhelming right now.
Jetter is indeed watching over you as your newest guardian angel free from pain and continues to wish you great peace and loving comfort as he has always done.

The firsts are always the hardest. Good luck with your healing journey. Our hearts go out to you.


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## SheetsSM (Jan 17, 2008)

So very sorry for your loss.


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## ssacres (Sep 29, 2012)

I know the empty feeling of them not being there. So sorry for your loss. He is running free with my sweet Allie Bean..


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

So sorry for your loss of beautiful Jeter  we all understand how you are feeling. Goldens are so special it is almost unbearable when they are gone. Time will help you a little. Take care. 

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## Joanne & Asia (Jul 23, 2007)

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. I know what the pain is like to lose them. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Jeter*

I am so very sorry for your loss!! My Smooch and Snobear greeted Jeter at the Bridge.
I have added Jeter to the 2013 Rainbow Bridge List!!
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...-goldens-passed-2013-list-24.html#post3750482


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am very sorry for your loss. It is really hard to find the right words to say as there are any that could help. Hugs.


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## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

Thank you so much. Your kind words of support really do help. Jeter was so special, I feel so empty now. 

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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jeter. 

My heart goes out to you during this very sad and difficult time. 

The shadow box collage sounds very beautiful, it will be a wonderful tribute to your boy. 

You're in my thoughts and prayers. 

Godspeed Jeter.


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## tikiandme (May 16, 2010)

I'm very sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I am so very sorry. Losing your best friend is a terrible thing to have to go through. We would love to see some pictures and hear all about your special boy.


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

Welcome to the Forum, despite the sad circumstances that bring you to us. My heart just aches for you and for Jeter, though he is a lucky boy that you love him enough to set him free of pain forever.

If you have not done so, I encourage you to start a thread about Jeter in the Rainbow Bridge forum. That would give you a place to share photos and stories as a kind of memorial to your boy. Many of us here understand how hard it is to lose them. So hard.

Peace be with you.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I am so so sorry you had to make that decision. It is truly heartbreaking to lose them no matter their age or why.


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## acrofford (Nov 20, 2013)

Thanks everyone.. This is finally hitting my kids, they started talking about him a lot and how much they miss him, we have a golden stuffed animal that they have been taking turns sleeping with...

My husband and I are feeling better, I know he isn't in pain anymore... 

We got a rescue pup for our kids for Christmas. .. he is a lab/aussie mix. He is a super sweet guy. But not a golden... we are looking to get a golden pup in the spring... I've contacted a few breeders. So hopefully this works out for us. Plus our new pup needs a friend, he loves other dogs and plays with our kittens. ..its actually pretty funny that the cats let him wrestle like they do, lol

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