# My baby Bear passed this past Tuesday



## Leonardo Da Vinci Bear (Sep 17, 2017)

My sweet gentle giant Bear my heart aches for him. We adopted him when he was 2. He had heartworm when we got him. That did not stop me due to love at first sight. A beautiful English cream retriever. Our bond was instant. He knew his home was in my heart. 5 years ago he tested negative for his heartworm I cried like a baby with joy at the vet office. Bear was 110 giant baby. Cried when he had blood draws, shook from rain & was terrified or thunder and fireworks. I was his refuge. Something happened to Bear in July. He started not eating and vomiting. During this time my mother in law was dying and I was not home. I got him into the vet they said they were surprised he didn't pass that night. He was giving IV antibiotics and fluids for 2 days. No sign of anything on X-ray. They did ultrasound of his stomach nothing was found. When I got there to spend time with him there was not much response from him. They recommend putting him down. As my son daughter and I sat in that kennel crying when decided to bring him home and the vet could come to our home to put him down the next day. In the am after all of us sleeping on the floor with him in our nest I noticed his paw swollen where the port was. I decided to take it out. Slowly he ate a cracker. I was able to give prednisone he was given. He bounced back to life healthier than we had ever seen him! The vet could not come up with what was wrong with him. His liver enzymes were elevated so she thought it was cancer but could not say for sure. Bear was doing very well. Then they wanted me to put him on liver medications. I started it and he went downhill again. Vomiting not eating. I stopped it immediately and crushed up prednisone and appetite stimulate. Boom he perked up. We took walks cuddled like crazy made memories. Then a little over a week before he passed. I noticed he was constipated. I fed him hamburger and chicken , sardines , eggs. He was eating great. Then once again vomited for a day. At this point he still ate. I walked with him a few days before he passed and saw black stool. Of course it was Friday after vet hours. I got antibiotics Tuesday am. They said it's not a blockage if he goes. As soon as I got home I gave him some that was around 3pm. He laid in the same spot all day. But got up to go pee outside. About 9 pm he went out and laid there. He seemed not to be able to get up. We put him on a cushion and pulled him in. I knew it was bad but after 2 full recoveries my heart hoped for 1 more. I laid with him. Then he got up and laid in the corner of the living room ( where he goes when it storms). He laid for a bit. At about 10:00 pm he got up made a staggered attempt to lay by me by the couch ( his spot by mama and he'll push anyone out of the way to be there). He fell and almost went slightly sideways. I knew this was it. I jumped off the couch to the floor. He vomited right there. Breathing and heart rate changed. I talked him through it crying. I told him he was a good boy and did a good job. Go find gpa Bear ( my dad who passed 2 years earlier). One more vomit this time it was a lot and brown liquid. He reached out his paw to put it in my hand. This moment will never leave me. 10:50 pm My sweet Bear left. I'm praying I did all I could. I'd like to share changes that happened to him in case anyone has an idea. First head tilt to one side, staggered walk, brown around his eyes, chest got more barreled while he lost weight, bump on top of head seemed to grow, lots of wart type growths mostly pale and scaly but one large red on on stomach, huge fatty masses in armpit areas. Later Grayish brown discharge from eyes and sometimes in his mouth. Vomiting and not eating. I'm researching like crazy. I feel it may have been hemoginsarcoma. Bear was only 11. His dear sweet girlfriend will be 15 Christmas Day and going strong. I'm thankful to have her.


----------



## Leonardo Da Vinci Bear (Sep 17, 2017)

I'm hoping I figured out how to put his photos up


----------



## Siandvm (Jun 22, 2016)

I'm so sorry about the loss of sweet Bear. It is so hard when they decline and then rally like that -- you never know what is coming. It sounds as if you had a special bond, and I hope the memories of that help you through this difficult time.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your loss of your beautiful Bear.

I hope in the days to come as you begin this journey to find peace and for your heart to heal, your memories of Bear will comfort you.


----------



## danoon58 (Jul 1, 2015)

I'm so sorry about Bear! He sounds so very, very loved and I loved the photos.


----------



## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

I am so sorry. He was a beautiful giant who looks like a super sweetie. I can tell he had a wonderful life being in your family. Don't second guess what happened, you did your best for him and he knew he was loved.


----------



## Leonardo Da Vinci Bear (Sep 17, 2017)

Thank you everyone for such kind words. It takes certain people to understand this level of love. This is a wonderful site.


----------



## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

So very sorry for the loss of your gorgeous Bear. The photo with his teddy bear reminds me so much of my boy who I lost almost two years ago. We all know how hard it is, glad you found us, this is a great place for support and golden friendship.


----------



## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

Im so very sorry for the loss of your Bear....it is heartbreaking.... thoughts for you and your family...


----------



## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

So sorry about your loss of Bear, Prayers for you and your family.


----------



## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

Tuesday and Wednesday were bad for our babies. I lost Comet on Wednesday. My heart goes out to you, I can see the love that was so strong in your family. May all our memories keep us strong during this very difficult time,


----------



## Leonardo Da Vinci Bear (Sep 17, 2017)

I would also like to share Bear Visited me the night he passed. Every night he would walk 13 stairs up to my bedroom I helped him every step and he would be exhausted and lay at the top of the stairs when done. Then a few minutes later he would always come over to my side of the bed sit and turn his head up to look at me. I would tell him good night , I loved him and he was a good boy , then he would go lay down. The night he passed I was sleeping and I felt pressure on the side of the bed and a slight tug of my sheets that woke me up. He said good night one last time.


----------



## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

That is so fantastic! I've had that happen with another dog...savor that forever! - he is with you.


----------



## Anele (Dec 12, 2014)

My heart breaks for you, but how very wonderful to have been visited by your loving, special boy. 

Thank you so much for sharing him with us. His photos speak volumes of how treasured he has been in your family. He's truly lovely.


----------



## Leonardo Da Vinci Bear (Sep 17, 2017)

Thank you everyone. I'll need some strength for Thursday as I will finally have to tell my daughter who is been away in Ireland about Bear. He passed the night she left. I refused to tell her while she's been gone. But she was included in his service. I painted this love rocks and put them with him. A feather, and Angel card, A teddy bear, a cookie, and wrapped him in my Barbie blanket. "I collect Barbie dolls ". My husband said I have an old blanket we can use I said no! He goes in my Barbie blanket.


----------



## dlmrun2002 (Mar 4, 2011)

Your bear was very special. You gave him a great life and your fabulous memories of him are proof of that. I hope time allows to feel better soon.

“What we have once enjoyed,  we can never lose.  All that we love deeply  becomes a part of us. ” – Helen Keller

Godspeed to Bear

dlm ny country


----------



## amwagner (Jun 25, 2017)

So sorry for your loss....  

I understand and feel your pain.

May Bear forever run with the angels.


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sophieanne*

What you wrote about Bear is so beautiful, you can tell the bond you two had. He will always be WITH YOU, so glad you had a visit from him. Sounds like he had some type of cancer, and I'm sure it was completely out of your control. I've lost two dogs to hemangiosarcoma. I love his pictures and I know my Smooch and Snobear will take care of him at the Bridged. I added Bear to the Rainbow Bridge list.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...7-2017-rainbow-bridge-list-2.html#post7253370


----------



## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Sophieanne*

What you wrote about Bear is so beautiful, you can tell the bond you two had. He will always be WITH YOU, so glad you had a visit from him. Sounds like he had some type of cancer, and I'm sure it was completely out of your control. I've lost two dogs to hemangiosarcoma. I love his pictures and I know my Smooch and Snobear will take care of him at the Bridge. I added Bear to the Rainbow Bridge list.

http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...7-2017-rainbow-bridge-list-2.html#post7253370


----------



## Michael24 (Sep 18, 2017)

Thank your for sharing. We just lost our Zoey on Saturday due to lymphoma at 6 years of age. Feel the same way you do. I tried not to cry when we took her to the vet for the last time. I wanted her not to be frightened by anything we were doing. She was so sick she was out with only 1/4 of the injection they delivered in her port. 

Thoughts and prayers to you.


----------



## Yaichi's Mom (Jul 21, 2012)

The love you, Bear and your family shared radiates from your written word. These special souls own a very special piece of our heart, that they take with them when they leave us...hold on to it, until we meet again.

May the memories you shared act as a placeholder for that piece of heart Bear is holding for you. I am so sorry for your loss. Your experience reminds me very much of my bridge girl Yaichi's last week with me and your post touched my heart...as I type through the tears.

I hope that Bear's visitation to you gives you both peace and comfort as it reaffirms that love you both share. Hugs....


----------

