# Help me bond with my dog



## Lucky Penny (Nov 13, 2011)

I would sign up for a beginner dog training class. Those are usually not to expensive, as you are in a group with other folks and their dogs. It is not one on one training. I found that training makes my relationship with my dogs so much stronger. Also, the trainer may be able to give you some tips to help you and your pup. I love going on off leash walks with my dogs as well. They really appreciate this special time with me.


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## DJdogman (Apr 23, 2013)

Hi there - how very sad for you, particularly as you see your boy having fun and relaxed with others.

I have seen a behaviourist work with an extremely submissive dog who was terrified or all humans after being used as a bait dog for fights. So it was an extreme case, but what she did was this: 

make no eye contact, walk into the room, leave a treat on the floor near him, and walk back out. All the time making no eye contact.
Do this over and over, day after day, and get closer to the dog all the time. After a number of days, the dog should take the treat from your hand. Allow him to do this a number of times, and gradually build up to stroking the dog when you give him the treat. You should be able to get closer and stroke for longer, and if it works, the dog should become much more comfortable around you.

Just a suggestion, might be worth a go!


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

It is a tough spot to be in, but kudos to you for understanding that there is 'room' for change. We often fail to consider how our behavior is perceived by our dogs, we may need to take a look 'through our dog's eyes', to honestly think about how our dog 'sees' us, and about 'what' we do and 'how' we do it. 

The following article may be of interest to you; 

6 simple ways to improve your bond with your dog | MNN - Mother Nature Network

The book: 'Bonding with your Dog' by Victoria Schade may also be helpful, and provide from insight for you.

The book 'Bones Would Rain from the Sky' by Suzanne Clothier, is another that I would high recommend for you to read.


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## quilter (Sep 12, 2011)

I am currently reading "The Other End of the Leash" and there might be some insights there for you about body language and eye contact and how dogs react to that. 

I also started reading some books about play be Fenzi and learning a lot about what my dog likes and what he doesn't like. Here's an interesting blog from Scientific American: It's Not You It's Me: If a Dog Won't Play With You, It Could Be Your Fault - Scientific American Blog Network


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Are you are very tall person, do you have a loud deep voice, do you wear dark clothes...? These are immediate reasons why somebody might be overpowering to a submissive dog. 

Things to do if that's the case - bring yourself down to your dog's level and soften your voice. 

Have you spent time outside with your dog. If he pees outside, not a huge deal. 

In the house, don't tower over your dog or overwhelm him. And keep track of what causes him to get all submissive. 

Generally more time you spend with your dog and encouraging him - you'll get past this.


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## Charliethree (Jul 18, 2010)

The following link will give you an introduction to dog body language.

https://positively.com/dog-training/understanding-dogs/canine-body-language/

The book: On Talking Terms with Dogs by Turid Rugaas is also a good read.


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## READ13 (Jan 30, 2012)

Thank you so much for all replies.

Im actively trying to do as much as I can and what is mentioned in the above, I would say Im quite tall yes, (around 6 foot) but not a massively deep voice. Not sure what has caused this but have been for two very long walks the last couple of days and things seem better.

I think where I was almost scared to interact made the issue worse, which is a catch 22 as I was always sad about the fact I couldn't interact with my dog in the first place if that makes sense? 

One thing I have realised though is my dogs lack of discipline when there are distractions present! Is it very hard to improve/re-train a dogs recall at the age f 3/4? I feel we need to go back to this and am contemplating using the long line method?

Thanks


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## 4goldengirls (Jun 10, 2014)

It is never too late for some remedial work with your dog. If your dog is blowing you off on the recall then I would certainly re-introduce the long line. If he's not returning to you when called, he doesn't deserve the freedom off the line. As mentioned by others, get back to training - not only will it help you both bond but it will reinforce areas that have lapsed with the training. Good luck.


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## Wenderwoman (Jan 7, 2013)

READ13 said:


> Thank you so much for all replies.
> 
> Im actively trying to do as much as I can and what is mentioned in the above, I would say Im quite tall yes, (around 6 foot) but not a massively deep voice. Not sure what has caused this but have been for two very long walks the last couple of days and things seem better.
> 
> ...


I am in a training class right now with my 6 month old. The trainer is training us to give 3 treats for the command "Come." It is the only command that gets 3 treats. So far, it is working very well but my girl is very food motivated. She recommended to the class that we train when the dogs are hungry and not to give them dinner so that they are hungry. So, if the food isn't motivational enough then try training before dinner or a higher value treat.

I'm really not sure how to help you with the submissive problem. My dogs usually have the opposite problem and want to think they are the boss. Here's a link: Submissive Urination: Why Your Dog Does It and How to Help Him Stop : The Humane Society of the United States

Here are their suggestions: 



"Teach him commands using positive reinforcement training methods.
Keep his routine and environment as consistent as possible.
Gradually expose him to new people and new situations and try to ensure that his new experiences are positive and happy.
Keep greetings low-key (no bear hugs or loud voices, which your dog may perceive as acts of dominance).
Encourage and reward confident postures such as sitting or standing.
Give him an alternative to submissive behaviors. For example, have him "sit" or "shake" as you approach, and reward him for obeying.
Avoid approaching him with postures that he may interpret as dominant or confrontational. Avoid direct eye contact; look at his back or tail instead. Get down on his level by bending at the knees rather than leaning over from the waist. Ask others to approach him in the same way. Pet him under the chin rather than the top of his head. Approach him from the side, rather than head on, and/or present the side of your body to him.
Eliminate odors wherever your dog submissively urinates, especially if he isn't completely house-trained.
Don't punish or scold him for submissive urination. This will only make the problem worse.
If your dog is extremely fearful, ask your vet about medications that may help during the retraining process."


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## Wenderwoman (Jan 7, 2013)

READ13 said:


> Thank you so much for all replies.
> 
> Im actively trying to do as much as I can and what is mentioned in the above, I would say Im quite tall yes, (around 6 foot) but not a massively deep voice. Not sure what has caused this but have been for two very long walks the last couple of days and things seem better.
> 
> ...


I am in a training class right now with my 6 month old. The trainer is training us to give 3 treats for the command "Come." It is the only command that gets 3 treats. So far, it is working very well but my girl is very food motivated. She recommended to the class that we train when the dogs are hungry and not to give them dinner so that they are hungry. So, if the food isn't motivational enough then try training before dinner or a higher value treat.

I'm really not sure how to help you with the submissive problem. My dogs usually have the opposite problem and want to think they are the boss. Here's a link: Submissive Urination: Why Your Dog Does It and How to Help Him Stop : The Humane Society of the United States

Here are their suggestions: 



"Teach him commands using positive reinforcement training methods.
Keep his routine and environment as consistent as possible.
Gradually expose him to new people and new situations and try to ensure that his new experiences are positive and happy.
Keep greetings low-key (no bear hugs or loud voices, which your dog may perceive as acts of dominance).
Encourage and reward confident postures such as sitting or standing.
Give him an alternative to submissive behaviors. For example, have him "sit" or "shake" as you approach, and reward him for obeying.
Avoid approaching him with postures that he may interpret as dominant or confrontational. Avoid direct eye contact; look at his back or tail instead. Get down on his level by bending at the knees rather than leaning over from the waist. Ask others to approach him in the same way. Pet him under the chin rather than the top of his head. Approach him from the side, rather than head on, and/or present the side of your body to him.
Eliminate odors wherever your dog submissively urinates, especially if he isn't completely house-trained.
Don't punish or scold him for submissive urination. This will only make the problem worse.
If your dog is extremely fearful, ask your vet about medications that may help during the retraining process."


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## Lucky Penny (Nov 13, 2011)

I keep a long line in my car. It just takes one or two times where the dogs doesn't come when you call them to learn they can ignore you. A long line teaches them that come means come. I find through out a dogs life that I have had periods where I need it on and off. It doesn't matter the age of the dog, if they are not coming when called, they need a long line!


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## bixx (Sep 8, 2015)

I am reading Turid Rugaas "On Talking Terms with Dogs: Calming Signals". It's quite interesting. It could be something that could help you understand your dog's signals.


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