# I have such a heavy heavy heart today :(



## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

With a very heavy heart, in my back yard at 11:45 today, surrounded by all who loved him, we helped my boy Nitro Buff on to rainbow bridge…SIGH….My heart is broken, Im empty inside…for 4751 days, my boy has stood by my side, never failing me once, at this stage of his life, when he needed me most, I didn’t want to fail him..Nitro had a heart of gold, a TRUE GOLDEN..Unfortunately his legs could no longer allow him to stand by me..A sad day indeed..Im in such pain, and it hurts, but Im so thankful for all the love we shared!!!! You were loved by all Nitro, and mostly by your new found friends on this wonderful Golden site…thank you all for your kind words to Nitey and about Nitey…He loved them all..
Nitro had a wonderful day, the sun was shining, his favorite kind of day to just hang out in the yard, at the highest spot in the yard, just surveying his kingdom…it was there that he took his last breath…there that he loved life so much..He had Honey nut cheerios for breakfast (from my bowl), an Ice cream snack from the local Farm..a peanut butter sandwich, his all-time favorite..and a cheeseburger, all which he split with Nash..Last Nite while he was laying in his bed, which he’s sorta been confined to for a day or two now, he gave me the look that told me, “I’M gonna be ok mom, it’s my time..” I wrestled with that thought all nite long..but a decision needed to be made, and even though it was the hardest thing I’ve done in life so far…I’ve learned nothing is taken for granted. 
Nash was very very weird last nite, constantly sniffing Nitey’s breath and licking him, I believe he was saying good-bye as well..I brushed Nitro's hair for over an hr. today, and when I stopped, he pawed me to brush some more..Nash let me have my ME time with Nitro, which I was grateful for..My daughter and I held Nitro’s head, reassured him we would see him again, and told him we were better for knowing him…Our tears drenched his fur, but it couldn’t be helped..When he passed, I felt a sense of calm, knowing he was in good hands.
He’s taken a very big piece of my heart with him, and he’s running with it…I hope to see him once again, to get it back..Until we meet again, old pal, friend, companion, and my HERO REST IN PEACE my brave soul…I will love you til the end of time….Love Mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxox


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Nitro*

My heart is broken for you, but you did the right thing, because you loved Nitro!


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## Rainheart (Nov 28, 2010)

I am so sorry to be reading this... my heart breaks for you. RIP sweet Nitro at the bridge.


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## hotel4dogs (Sep 29, 2008)

I'm so so sorry for your heartbreak. My tears flow freely with yours. Hugs to you.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Nitro*

SO glad it was a beautiful day and Nitro was in his favorite place and got to have ice cream and a cheeseburger! I am very glad you have Nash.


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## Jamm (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm so sorry.


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## mellerisa (Jul 22, 2012)

so very sorry for your loss


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so very sorry to read about the passing of your beautiful Nitro.

My heart goes out to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and the days to come. 

Godspeed sweet Nitro.


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## Laurie (Sep 20, 2009)

My heart is breaking for you. What a beautiful way to say good-bye to your handsome Nitro.

Tears are falling here at work.

RIP sweet Nitro.


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## goldensrbest (Dec 20, 2007)

I am sorry it was his time, you will miss him so much,but it sounds so loving, and calm how he went.


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## twinny41 (Feb 13, 2008)

Lovely tribute from a loving Mum. I know how hard a decision it is and how very painful. So sorry for your loss.


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## GoldenMum (Mar 15, 2010)

What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful boy! RIP sweet Nitro, my heart is breaking for you.


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## cgriffin (Nov 30, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

So sorry for your loss. It is never easy, but it is our last gift to a friend we love.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

So sorry for your loss of beautiful Nitro, so sad  It sounds as if he passed to rainbow bridge very peacefully surrounded with those that he loved most.

Our special golden angels will look after him for you. Take care.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

Oh gosh I could barely get through your post. I know your heart is broken and I am so sorry. You gave him the gift of freedom. My thoughts are with you.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

Cyber hugs coming your way - may they bring you some comfort on this saddest of days.

Run softly at the Bridge Nitro


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## rgardn03 (Aug 29, 2012)

I am so sorry, I can only imagine the pain that you are going through. Reading your post, my eyes were brimming.


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## coffenut (Jan 3, 2012)

Oh I am so so sorry. Please know that Mazlon was there to greet Nitro with a Golden grin and wagging tail eager to show him all the best places to romp, chase butterflies, and sun in the soft grass. {{{HUGS}}}


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

So very sorry for the loss of Nitro


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## KathyL (Jul 6, 2011)

I'm so sorry to read this. I know how hard it is to make that decision. I hope your memories will bring you comfort in the days ahead.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I'm so very sorry. I know how much it hurts!


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## JAD (Sep 8, 2012)

I am so very sorry to hear about Nitro. My heart is breaking with yours and the tears are flowing too. I was in that situation this past December when I had to make that same decision for my baby girl who was almost 15. Give Nash a great big hug and let him help you through this most difficult time. When we had to say goodbye to our Bailey unexpectedly Sadey was still with me and she helped me through. I have the poem, "The Last Battle" posted on my refrigerator. This helped me through the very raw pain and heartbreak and still 9 months later I read this often to help me through the loss. 
Know that Nitro loves you very much and he will be watching over you!
Hugs to you! My heart goest out to you.....
Julie


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## jealous1 (Dec 7, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Merlins mom (Jun 20, 2007)

Hugs to you and I'm so sorry. Rest in peace Nitro, you were well loved.


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## Skipperella (Jul 27, 2012)

So very sorry for your loss! 


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


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## Cathy's Gunner (Dec 4, 2008)

Nancie, I can hardly type, the tears are flowing so hard. I'm so very sorry to hear about Nitro. Please give Nash a big hug from us. RIP sweet Nitro. You were truly loved by all......Hugs.


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## Yaichi's Mom (Jul 21, 2012)

Nash666 said:


> With a very heavy heart, in my back yard at 11:45 today, surrounded by all who loved him, we helped my boy Nitro Buff on to rainbow bridge…SIGH….My heart is broken, Im empty inside…for 4751 days, my boy has stood by my side, never failing me once, at this stage of his life, when he needed me most, I didn’t want to fail him..Nitro had a heart of gold, a TRUE GOLDEN..Unfortunately his legs could no longer allow him to stand by me..A sad day indeed..Im in such pain, and it hurts, but Im so thankful for all the love we shared!!!! You were loved by all Nitro, and mostly by your new found friends on this wonderful Golden site…thank you all for your kind words to Nitey and about Nitey…He loved them all..
> Nitro had a wonderful day, the sun was shining, his favorite kind of day to just hang out in the yard, at the highest spot in the yard, just surveying his kingdom…it was there that he took his last breath…there that he loved life so much..He had Honey nut cheerios for breakfast (from my bowl), an Ice cream snack from the local Farm..a peanut butter sandwich, his all-time favorite..and a cheeseburger, all which he split with Nash..Last Nite while he was laying in his bed, which he’s sorta been confined to for a day or two now, he gave me the look that told me, “I’M gonna be ok mom, it’s my time..” I wrestled with that thought all nite long..but a decision needed to be made, and even though it was the hardest thing I’ve done in life so far…I’ve learned nothing is taken for granted.
> Nash was very very weird last nite, constantly sniffing Nitey’s breath and licking him, I believe he was saying good-bye as well..I brushed Nitro's hair for over an hr. today, and when I stopped, he pawed me to brush some more..Nash let me have my ME time with Nitro, which I was grateful for..My daughter and I held Nitro’s head, reassured him we would see him again, and told him we were better for knowing him…Our tears drenched his fur, but it couldn’t be helped..When he passed, I felt a sense of calm, knowing he was in good hands.
> He’s taken a very big piece of my heart with him, and he’s running with it…I hope to see him once again, to get it back..Until we meet again, old pal, friend, companion, and my HERO REST IN PEACE my brave soul…I will love you til the end of time….Love Mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxox


OMG....I am crying now as your eloquent and more than heart filled post reminds me of my last days with my Yaichi. 

My girls passing was very much like your beloved Nitro's....with total love, tear drenched fur and a broken heart.

I am so sorry and please know that my heart is with yours :hug:


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## GoldensGirl (Aug 2, 2010)

In setting him free, you have given Nitro the most precious and loving gift possible. I know how bitterly hard this is to do, but I hope you draw strength from knowing that he is free of pain forever.

Peace be with you.


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## Willow52 (Aug 14, 2009)

I'm so sorry. Godspeed Nitro.


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

I'm so sorry. You and Nash will help each other through this difficult time.


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## love never dies (Jul 31, 2012)

so sorry for your loss - I hope your happy memories will bring you peace in the days ahead - hugs


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am very sorry for your loss. Those who had to say goodbye truly know how heartbreaking it is.
Run free, play hard, sleep softly sweet boy.


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## Always51 (Feb 19, 2012)

Rest in peace Nitro..love and light to you...


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## markmckelvey (Sep 12, 2012)

Oh boy that is hard to read! Thoughts are with you!


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So sorry for your loss of Nitro - even though we know we are doing the right thing it doesn't lessen the pain that we feel. Nitro will now be running free at the bridge and making new friends

Run free, play hard and sleep softly Nitro


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## tomw (Jul 9, 2012)

I was moved to tears when I read your post this morning. I am glad that Nitro enjoyed his last day being with you. You made a very painful and difficult decision. But in your heart, you know it was the best choice for Nitro. I will pray that God will strengthen you and that someday you and Nitro will play and enjoy each other's company again...that he will greet you with a wagging tail at Rainbow Bridge.


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## flykelley (Oct 15, 2011)

RIP Nitro, run freely n sleep softly, there are many great Goldenseal at the bridge to help Nitro.My Katie will be there to help show him the way.

Mike


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## CarlosW9FE (Jul 17, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Nitro. You and your family are in our prayers that you find peace and comfort during this toughest time of your loss. Rest in Peace, Nitro. Our beloved Rhett and all the many other Golden friends are waiting for you at the Bridge.


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## Penny & Maggie's Mom (Oct 4, 2007)

I'm so very sorry. Your love for him gave him the final, bravest gift.... assuming the pain so he could be free of his. Bless you both. Just remember, he's with you always.... now on silent paws. Godspeed sweet boy.


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## Claudia M (Aug 8, 2012)

So so sorry for your loss. It is so so hard to say goodbye. They give so much but they also take a piece of our heart with them when they leave us.


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## 2golddogs (Oct 19, 2009)

Oh Nancie, I am so, so sorry it was time for Nitro to make his final journey. Nitro was such a special golden and will be greatly missed by many. Sending hugs to you and Nash. Rest in peace Nitro.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

Awwww that's such a swad story! A mixture of sweet and sad. It must really hurt letting go of your most loyal friend. I am sure you will treasure the memories you had with Nitro forever.


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## OutWest (Oct 6, 2011)

I'm so sorry you've lost your Nitro. You really gave him the best gift you could. That's a lovely tribute you wrote to him.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

That is truly the hardest, but also most loving decision we have to make for our beloved friends.

I'm sorry for your heartbreak, but so glad Nitro had a good last day with lots of love and treats.


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## *Laura* (Dec 13, 2011)

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Nitro. Run free sweet boy...our babies are at the Bridge waiting to welcome you.


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## OnMyWay2MyDreams (Feb 13, 2011)

You wrote that very well and honored your Nitro by letting him go before things got to bad. I'm so sorry you have lost your beloved dog and always remember that he is free of all pain. He is being greeted by many friends at the bridge and one day you will see him again. Thanks for sharing your story! You are in my thoughts and prayers!


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## Steadfast (Aug 22, 2012)

So sorry for your loss but so glad that you found each other and have memories to treasure forever. This breaks my heart.


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## Sydney's Mom (May 1, 2012)

My heart is broken for you and your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry for your loss, admire your courage for being there for him, and know you'll see him again one day.

Run free sweet Nitro.


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## desi.n.nutro (Mar 18, 2011)

I hope you can feel us help you with the burden and the weight of your heart. You and Nash and the rest of your family are in my thoughts. Nitro be free!


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## patrice (Nov 3, 2011)

So sorry for you loss of Nitro. He will meet you again, in a better, more forever kind of place. xoxoxo Patrice


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## 2golddogs (Oct 19, 2009)

We miss you Nitro


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## Mac'sdad (Dec 5, 2009)

*Nitro*



2golddogs said:


> View attachment 118918
> 
> 
> We miss you Nitro


What a beautiful boy !!!!!


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## Brinkleythegolden (Jun 18, 2012)

Run free at the Bridge, Nitro! So sorry for your loss.


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## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers....it's been such an emotional roller coaster this past month...One day I say, did I do the right thing? the next I say, maybe I shouldnt have done that..I kept looking at him, and still seeing this young beautiful dog, but his legs would no longer hold him up....My heart is aching for my boy....I now have to worry about Nash, as he is depressed...just goes and lays in another room when Im home, soooo unlike him..He's eating, drinking, and Im back to walking him....I plan to spend much time with him this weekend. I understand he must grieve as I must grieve..When I went to work on Wednesday (had no choice, I have my own business ) I went to go in my purse, for a receipt..out popped a big clump of Nitey 's hair ..made me happy and sad at the same time..Im waiting patiently for my Nitey to come home, which should be in a weeks time..I am going to keep myself busy, make a DVD of him, and make a shadow box of his things...Im told time will heal all wounds, but this one is big..The nite of Nitey's passing, Nash went outside, and rolled all around on the hill where Nitro took his last breath...we now call it Nitey's Hill....and it warms my heart to have let him go on his terms, not at the ER at 2 in the morning, with no one around that he knew or loved....thanks again....continue to pray for us, we could use it..Here's a pic of Nash at Nitey's hill.....He's probably getting Nitey's scent on himself... I wore my sweatshirt with Nitey's pic on it, from 13 years ago, on the day he passed...I cant bear to wash it again..will continue to wear it and smell my boy as well... 






Nitey enjoying his last day with us.. 






Nash rolling on Nitey's Hill...


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## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

Question: Is it possible for Nash to be mad at me for taking his buddy away?? Im worried him and I wont have that same bond we had :no::no:


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## OnGoldenPond (Mar 30, 2011)

Awww....you have my deepest sympathy for your loss!


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## flykelley (Oct 15, 2011)

Nash666 said:


> Question: Is it possible for Nash to be mad at me for taking his buddy away?? Im worried him and I wont have that same bond we had :no::no:


Nash isn't mad at you, he just doesn't understand where his buddy is at. My Lilly went through the same things when we had to put Katie down last Oct. She is better but still not her old self yet. My new puppy comes home the second weekend in Oct, hoping that will help Lilly as well as myself. Its such a empty feeling when you lose a heart dog.

Mike


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## CleosMom (Sep 3, 2012)

I'm so sorry. I don't think Nash will be mad at you, I think he'll take care of you and help you get through this. I love looking at your default picture. You all are so beautiful.


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## Neeko13 (Jul 10, 2010)

*We brought our Nitey home yesterday...*

Well, another hard day for me, brought my Nitey home from the vet in his wooden box ...I wanted to keep busy last nite, so I made the perfect spot for Nitro....It's on the fireplace, for all to see....I cried alot, but Im so happy he's home with me, again...I've had the vase for some time, just felt he needed to be in something nicer than the box..
Nash is doing much better, on Saturday, he carried Nitey's stuffed animal around the block on his entire walk, and brought it back home  He sure misses his best bud...Nash is getting more Kongs filled with goodies, as when Nitro was around it was hard giving just one dog a kong, esp. when Nitro had some breathing issues, and couldnt have the kong.. The weekend is almost upon us, for Nash and me to hang out again...


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## cubbysan (Mar 13, 2007)

I am just seeing this now.

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs. You gave Nitey the best gift you could. It is only human nature to question your decision.

I remember my shepherd mourning the loss of his buddy years ago. The first week he would just sit at the top of the stairs, and stare down at the rest of the house. Something very unusual for him. Then after that, he was always attached to me. It did take a new puppy to get him back to normal.


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## MikaTallulah (Jul 19, 2006)

Rip nitro!


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## mooselips (Dec 4, 2011)

That's the very worse thing about loving a dog.
Saying goodbye.

My heart hurts for you.


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## Oscar1702 (Jul 10, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear about Nitro. I know how much you loved him by reading your post. Sending love and kind thoughts your way. 

x


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Bringing them back home is very emotional. That's beautiful memorial place for your boy. And the vase is beautiful too. I wish I could move on and make something special in memory of my Buddy but still I am not ready to deal with it. Hugs to you and Nash.


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

I am so sorry I missed your post about Nitro. What a beautiful send off you gave him. I am glad he is now home with you forever. I feel for you and Nash so much. I was in your same position with Ruby...not once, but twice. We did ok, but all and all I was not as fun as a true 4 legged friend to run around with. Now her and I have a more special relationship going through such big losses together, but having Lily to run around the yard and in the woods with is fun too! In time you and Nash will be ok. Lots of tears and lots of belly rubs is always a good start. My thoughts are with you as you continue to grieve for your boy. He will be in your heart forever!! RIP sweet Nitey!!


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Nash666*



Nash666 said:


> Well, another hard day for me, brought my Nitey home from the vet in his wooden box ...I wanted to keep busy last nite, so I made the perfect spot for Nitro....It's on the fireplace, for all to see....I cried alot, but Im so happy he's home with me, again...I've had the vase for some time, just felt he needed to be in something nicer than the box..
> Nash is doing much better, on Saturday, he carried Nitey's stuffed animal around the block on his entire walk, and brought it back home  He sure misses his best bud...Nash is getting more Kongs filled with goodies, as when Nitro was around it was hard giving just one dog a kong, esp. when Nitro had some breathing issues, and couldnt have the kong.. The weekend is almost upon us, for Nash and me to hang out again...


Nash666

What a beautiful place Nitro has, to watch over you and Nash! He will always be with you. I am sure Nash misses him, as Smooch missed Snobear! I put Nitro on the Rainbow Bridge List 2012.


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

We all grieve the loss of our wonderful friends and that means our other pets too.

It gets easier, but never easy. Sigh.

I hope you and Nash have a wonderful weekend. I'm sure it would help both of you. Hugs and prayers for peace coming your way.


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