# My sweet boy Jaxon, gone but never forgotten



## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

When I paint, my genre is definitely NOT ”still life”. That’s a gift I missed out on. I’m an abstract painter. After we lost Jaxon on May 12, part of my grieving process was to paint. My original intention was the very abstract dog look, with all the vivid, neon, happy colors, i.e. oranges, yellows, blues, pinks, etc. 

Instead i went in the opposite direction and used muted, “grayed”, less vibrant colors because that’s what my heart was feeling. I included his red leash to remind me of all the happy, joyful years we had together.

Run free sweet boy until we meet again ❤


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## njdglvr (May 9, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss of Jaxon. Your painting is beautiful and a fine tribute to him. I love that you included his red leash - there’s so much joy in our relationship with our dogs. Those years of joy is what pushes me to get another dog after one dies. I hope your painting helps you heal.


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## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

njdglvr said:


> I’m so sorry for your loss of Jaxon. Your painting is beautiful and a fine tribute to him. I love that you included his red leash - there’s so much joy in our relationship with our dogs. Those years of joy is what pushes me to get another dog after one dies. I hope your painting helps you heal.


Thank you for those kind words. Yes, some days I think there’s no way I can survive another heartbreak like this and other days I think there’s no way I can go thru life without sharing it with another golden ❤


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

JaxonsDaddy said:


> Thank you for those kind words. Yes, some days I think there’s no way I can survive another heartbreak like this and other days I think there’s no way I can go thru life without sharing it with another golden ❤


This is exactly the way I am and eventually I cannot stand to be without one. I am very sorry for your loss of Jaxson.


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## diane0905 (Aug 20, 2010)

I’m so sorry for your loss. Beautiful painting — such a wonderful tribute. I love the colors. I thought I couldn’t deal with the heartache again, but ended up with another Golden five months later. The love Goldens give trumps the heartache. I decided my sweet Golden who passed would want me to be happier.


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## FurdogDad (Mar 30, 2021)

I think you did a fine job on the painting. Your art is a way of expressing yourself so the color pallette you chose is just right for where you are right now. Maybe a time will come when you choose to paint another with brighter, happier colors.......I hope that day comes for you sooner than later.


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## FUReverGolden (Nov 24, 2021)

OMG the painting is BEAUTIFUL


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## Ontariodogsitter (Feb 23, 2020)

I see the sadness you feel in the painting, what a gift to be able to portray feelings.
Sorry about you loss.


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## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss. You painted a beautiful portrait of Jaxon.


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## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

Does it ever get better? Does the pain ever lessen? It's going on 4 months since my sweet boy left us. I feel like I should be making progress in letting go but Im not. I just find myself breaking down every time I think about him and thats all the time. I miss him more than I could ever imagine. For some reason today I just can't stop crying. Maybe tomorrow will be better.


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## FUReverGolden (Nov 24, 2021)

Grief is personal and different for everyone. Key things to consider are : if you are not engaging with friends , not taking care of yourself ( as in grooming ) nutrition and basic needs , not sleeping or sleeping too much, not able to enjoy things you normally like. Give your self time. 4 months is still very recent and raw. Let your self cry but they should feel cleansing and cathartic after. It’s been a year since we lost Bailey. I still have my moments but feel I smile and enjoy thinking about him and my previous goldens more without the deep sadness this past months or so . We are actively seeking a new boy and regrettably turned down a boy last week as my husband balked at the last moment ( we fell in love with a boy that was chosen for a “show” home.) And did not take the one offered 😑 So we wait a little longer .
The picture you painted was beautiful. Keep busy. Take good care of your self in every way. Don’t let people make you feel bad about your feelings. Grief comes in waves and it gets better with time. PM me if you’d like. Best wishes. Linda


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## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

FUReverGolden said:


> Grief is personal and different for everyone. Key things to consider are : if you are not engaging with friends , not taking care of yourself ( as in grooming ) nutrition and basic needs , not sleeping or sleeping too much, not able to enjoy things you normally like. Give your self time. 4 months is still very recent and raw. Let your self cry but they should feel cleansing and cathartic after. It’s been a year since we lost Bailey. I still have my moments but feel I smile and enjoy thinking about him and my previous goldens more without the deep sadness this past months or so . We are actively seeking a new boy and regrettably turned down a boy last week as my husband balked at the last moment ( we fell in love with a boy that was chosen for a “show” home.) And did not take the one offered 😑 So we wait a little longer .
> The picture you painted was beautiful. Keep busy. Take good care of your self in every way. Don’t let people make you feel bad about your feelings. Grief comes in waves and it gets better with time. PM me if you’d like. Best wishes. Linda


Linda,
Thank you for the encouraging words. Yes, I have to remind myself that the whole experience of losing him is still very raw. I still can't put away his food and water bowl. I tried but I couldn't do it. His wicker toy basket is still in the corner full of his toys. I can still remember the last one he brought to me to play tug-of-war. It's just a bad time, but you know all about it because you have been where I am. I know you are still on the road to recovery yourself and I know you still miss Bailey very very much. It sounds like you are a little sad that you passed up the opportunity to get the male puppy but just remind yourself that soon you will have a new boy and you will realize that there was a reason that you waited..... and that reason will be him.


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## FUReverGolden (Nov 24, 2021)

JaxonsDaddy said:


> Linda,
> Thank you for the encouraging words. Yes, I have to remind myself that the whole experience of losing him is still very raw. I still can't put away his food and water bowl. I tried but I couldn't do it. His wicker toy basket is still in the corner full of his toys. I can still remember the last one he brought to me to play tug-of-war. It's just a bad time, but you know all about it because you have been where I am. I know you are still on the road to recovery yourself and I know you still miss Bailey very very much. It sounds like you are a little sad that you passed up the opportunity to get the male puppy but just remind yourself that soon you will have a new boy and you will realize that there was a reason that you waited..... and that reason will be him.


Yes puppy in 2023 for sure 🥰
We have been down this road before and having a new boy definitely fills that void. The lost pet isn’t replaced - it’s in their honor that you choose another one to heal your heart and share your life. I am ready and thankfully husband Is NOW - as he realizes right after we told the breeder to let the other one go to a waiting home. After I sent the last post I was thinking some of my worst weeks was right around 4 months. We stayed busy during the holidays traveling but around January I had some serious crying episodes. With each one it was shorter and with more clarity. I’m retired now so I think I felt a loss of purpose along with loosing him. Be kind to yourself. This is normal. We are so close to our pets they are more than family.


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## diane0905 (Aug 20, 2010)

It’s all so personal — grief — but by way of sharing, I lost mine in August of 2019. Sweet Luke owned my heart. In late January of 2020, I got Logan. I never thought I would get another one so soon, but oh how I love this dog. He is 100% not a replacement for Luke. They are quite different dogs in some ways — but Goldens are Goldens, nonetheless. I didn’t think my heart would love this way again and yet, here I am — in love with Logan. 

I still think of Luke often. I still feel like he visits in spirit and is waiting for me. I also think he knows Logan is here and would love him just like I do.


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## goldy1 (Aug 5, 2012)

@JaxonsDaddy It will eventually be less painful and the good memories will bring you a smile instead of tears. 4 months is a very short time to grieve your loss of Jaxon. For me, it took about a year for the grief to be bearable. For a year at least, you think to last year at that time of having Jaxon by your side and how life was completely different. 
Since you are an artist, you have the ability to bring your boy to life in art. I love your inclusion of Jaxon's red leash in his portrait. I appreciate art but am without talent. Through a friend, I learned of a high school student who did drawings of dogs mostly to help finance his future college tuition. What a talent this young man was! Back in 2016, when my Chance was 11, I commissioned a portrait. Chance passed away in 2019 and this portrait today brings me back to the days when I had my boy at my side. This portrait of Chance will always hang in a place of honor in our home.
One more thing that helped me move out of my grief is getting my 2 goldens Lance and Blaze. The smiles that they bring us daily - it offsets the grief. So that can be an antidote for the grief - when you are ready. It is a powerful medicine.


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## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

diane0905 said:


> It’s all so personal — grief — but by way of sharing, I lost mine in August of 2019. Sweet Luke owned my heart. In late January of 2020, I got Logan. I never thought I would get another one so soon, but oh how I love this dog. He is 100% not a replacement for Luke. They are quite different dogs in some ways — but Goldens are Goldens, nonetheless. I didn’t think my heart would love this way again and yet, here I am — in love with Logan.
> 
> I still think of Luke often. I still feel like he visits in spirit and is waiting for me. I also think he knows Logan is here and would love him just like I do.


Thank you for sharing that. Thats encouraging. Something tells me that Luke might have played a role in Logan finding you! 💗


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## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

goldy1 said:


> @JaxonsDaddy It will eventually be less painful and the good memories will bring you a smile instead of tears. 4 months is a very short time to grieve your loss of Jaxon. For me, it took about a year for the grief to be bearable. For a year at least, you think to last year at that time of having Jaxon by your side and how life was completely different.
> Since you are an artist, you have the ability to bring your boy to life in art. I love your inclusion of Jaxon's red leash in his portrait. I appreciate art but am without talent. Through a friend, I learned of a high school student who did drawings of dogs mostly to help finance his future college tuition. What a talent this young man was! Back in 2016, when my Chance was 11, I commissioned a portrait. Chance passed away in 2019 and this portrait today brings me back to the days when I had my boy at my side. This portrait of Chance will always hang in a place of honor in our home.
> One more thing that helped me move out of my grief is getting my 2 goldens Lance and Blaze. The smiles that they bring us daily - it offsets the grief. So that can be an antidote for the grief - when you are ready. It is a powerful medicine.
> 
> View attachment 895776


Thank you! The portrait of Chance is absolutely beautiful. I can see why it brings you comfort! What a gift. Im hoping that theres a little guy out there that will find us soon. I say that but some days I think Im ready and other days Im not. Maybe Jaxon will help the right one find us.


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## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

Saw this quote today and thought of you
"Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”

― Brian Jacques, Taggerung

I agree that a new dog NEVER replaces the one you lost but it does help heal the heart and bring new joy. I also believe the right dog will come to you at the right time.


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## JaxonsDaddy (11 mo ago)

cwag said:


> Saw this quote today and thought of you
> "Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
> 
> ― Brian Jacques, Taggerung
> ...


I love this! 💗 Thank you so much!


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