# Forever in our Hearts - RIP Riley - 5/3/2012



## 4Riley (Apr 24, 2011)

We lost our beloved Golden suddenly on 5/3/12. He was 11 years old and we were blessed to have him in our lives even though it was not nearly long enough! I know you all understand the pain and grief my family is going through - I have wanted to write but the past few weeks have been so very hard on me. The amount of support i have gotten just from reading posts on this forum has helped get me through this difficult time - you are all amazing with your kind words - and I am sorry for all of your losses. Riley was in fairly good health - he had been on phenobarb most of his life for seizures that started when he was about 3 years old - but he had been seizure free for at least 7 years. He was a very mellow, gentle laid back family dog - loved by everyone that met him. The week leading up to his death he had shown a bit more weakness in his back legs and loss of appetite in the morning - I had made an appointment for the vet - he was due for his annual check up and vaccinations. Everything came back normal -and the vet suggested that we start him on rimidyl for his arthritis - he also got 2 vaccinations (distemper and lymes ) The following night he died. Here is where I struggle..... in my heart I want to believe that his passing was due to something major going on inside of him (cancer, heart, that we just didn't know about ) and that he died suddenly yet peacefully and it was just meant to be. The night after the vaccines - he was ok.....no vomiting or increased lethargy etc....but he was still very stiff in his hind legs and had trouble getting up. We had thunderstorms that night - so I had stayed with him and slept by his side to calm him down. (that is a memory now that I will treasure always) he got up in the morning and seemed ok - other than being stiff -still no appetite though. That night i came home and found him on the floor - already gone. I - like many of you am struggling with the "what if's" and am trying to get past that - I decided not to do an autopsy - it wouldn't bring him back - and I just felt in my heart that it was his time - he let go - spared us the difficulty of seeing him suffer and decline. We will always remember him as a special part of our lives - truly to be treasured. I picked up his ashes yesterday at the vet - I feel much comfort knowing that he is home with us now. Forever in our hearts.........


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

I am truly sorry for your loss of Riley. He sounds like he was an amazing golden loved by his family. I know how hard it is to lose someone who is so close to your heart. As for the "what if's" we will always have them, they do not help at all. It seems you did all you could, maybe it was just his chosen time to spare you both. Talk with us about your boy, post some photos, we all care and understand. 

Run free, play hard, sleep softly sweet Riley.


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## DERBYBOY7 (May 18, 2012)

I am so sorry. So many of these dogs turn around non dog people. My Honey did that to many people and it sounds like Riley did the same. We also did not want an autopsy. I could not have beared the what ifs of finding out "oh you didnt notice this or that ?" and she could have been with us longer. 

My sincerest sympathy to all who loved Riley.


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## Rob's GRs (Feb 25, 2007)

I too am sorry for the loss of your Riley. He may be gone from this world but he will always be with you in your heart.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

I am really sorry to hear about your special boy Riley. Please don't torture yourself with 'what ifs' it's completely normal and something that we have all done. It happened the way it did and must have been the way that Riley wanted, he didn't want you to watch him suffer. It's very difficult, but time will help you a little. Run free sweet Riley!


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## OutWest (Oct 6, 2011)

So sorry you lost your beloved Riley. Try hard not to second guess yourself. He was clearly well loved and cared for. Take good care of yourself, and come back and chat on GRF. Would love to see photos of him and hear some of his stories if you feel up to sharing..


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## BeauShel (May 20, 2007)

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. My heart goes out to you for your pain. Though he may be gone from you he will always be with you just now walking on silent paws watching over you. Run free Riley.


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Riley*

I am so very sorry about your Riley, but happy that he did not suffer.
God Bless you and Riley and I am glad he is home with you now.


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## PrincessDi (Jun 8, 2009)

I''m so very sorry that you lost your boy Riley. I know it must be even harder that his passing was so unexpected. I know that your boy too took that memory of you spending the night with him to comfort him during the storms. Rip in peace sweet RIley


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## Macretriever (Sep 9, 2009)

I know it may be hard to loose them suddenly but in the end you didn't have to watch him suffer and you suffer with him. It was his way of doing something for you one last time. I feel for you as it has been a little over a month for me and it's still not easy.


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## 4Riley (Apr 24, 2011)

*thank you....*

Thanks so much for your supportive words - I find strength when I visit this forum - because you have all been through this and I know you truly understand how empty we feel after they are gone. The grief seems to hit me in waves- the first few days after.....I wondered if I would ever be able to think of anything else besides Riley. I think the first 24 hours I was in complete shock -along with the rest of my family. I am married and have 3 children - 2 sons (ages 20 and 16) and a daughter age 10. My daughter was with me when I found Riley - so I think I stayed strong for her and didn't really feel the impact of what had happened because I was so consumed with comforting her....the rest of my family was not home at the time - so that night when they arrived a few hours later- we were all absolutely devastated. The days after, I searched for finding some sort of meaning as to why this happened and why now...my oldest son was just on his way back from college arriving back home that night - so he didn't get to see Riley before he died - my other son had left for work earlier in the day. He was soooooo close to Riley - always taking time to pay attention to him no matter what was going on in his teenage life....he had checked on him before he left for work and reported to me that everything was ok with Riley - so I know he had his daily goodbye to his best pal......then as I mentioned before- I had my special time with him during the night - and my husband always had morning time with him before the rest of us got up. So in looking back - I have to believe that Riley had a plan.....he knew my oldest would remember him as he was just a month earlier when he said goodbye Easter weekend before heading off to college again.....he knew that my other son was ok and on his way to work and would not have to watch him suffer in front of him....he knew that I would be strong for everyone when I found him - and give them the same comfort that I gave to him all of his days when he was scared of the storms....so I just have to believe he knew it was ok to leave us - and that we would be alright. Most of all - I think he gave us a gift as a family.....the next days after this happened brought us all closer together as a family than we had ever been before. Life stopped as we knew it and we were reminded how precious it is - and how much we need each other - that next day we didn't talk much - but we were inseparable - thank you Riley for sending us that gift - and reminding us to hold our loved ones close - just like you did.....we all loved you so very much!!!!

I will try and figure out how to post pictures - I have a beautiful one that my brother took at Easter of Riley - I will treasure it always...it was his last picture.


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## Buddysmyheart (Dec 28, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Riley. We do understand too well how you feel. I think at first you're in shock, denial, and ultimately heartbroken over their passing. I'm so sorry you're going through this now. We never have all the answers we seek about their passing, the "what if's", etc.. I finally accepted it was in "God's" hands, and that my Buddy had earned the "right" to rest after a difficult and painful year for him. Please hold on to the loving, sweet memories of Riley. We will all support you here, HUGS.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

Glad that you are finding strength from this forum. When we first lost Daisy 4 months ago I posted her story up, and we found so much support and comfort from the wonderful people on here - don't know how we'd have coped without this forum!

Riley sounds like he was such a special boy, and it is clear from your story how much he loved each member of your family. He is free from his pain now and is safe at the rainbow bridge. Daisy will be looking after him for you too! Golden's have so much love to give, and it's really nice how he has brought your family close together. 

I have found a really useful link explaining how to upload photos onto here, so hopefully this will help you. Looking forward to seeing a pic of your gorgeous Riley.
http://www.goldenretrieverforum.com...age/105935-video-tutorial-posting-photos.html


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## 4Riley (Apr 24, 2011)

Ok - I think I figured out how to post a picture - thanks for the link.

Here is my last picture of Riley - taken on Easter Sunday - just being his mellow self.....watching all the kids searching for Easter eggs....and loving being outside with everyone.


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## mybuddy (Mar 2, 2007)

I need to get you in touch with Martha. She is going through a similar thing right now. Going to pass this thread on to her.

So sorry about your loss. Seems to me that you did everything right. (feel so sad for you).


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## SandyK (Mar 20, 2011)

So sorry for your loss. Riley was a very good looking boy!! I had tears reading how much he loved each one of you. I think you are right that Riley decided it was the right time to go. Bless his heart for being such a strong boy and looking out for his family. He will be in your heart forever!! RIP Riley!!


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## twinny41 (Feb 13, 2008)

So very sorry for your loss. No easy way to lose them is there but he did not suffer. A blessing after a great life. RIP beautiful boy.


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## AmberSunrise (Apr 1, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss.

Run softly at the Bridge, Riley, knowing you were, and are, well loved.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

I am so so sorry that you have lost Riley. Your story about his gift to your family has me weeping. He is a beautiful golden and I can see the love you all had for him in your post. We are coping right now with the loss of our Emmy. You are right about the support from the people here who understand. Our goldens bring such incredible things into our lives and saying good bye is painful and leaves huge holes in our hearts and homes. My husband and I go on each day but there are moments when the knowledge of Emmy not being here takes my breath away. I know it is one day at a time but it is hard. I am sending you wonderful thoughts at this sad time.
Martha


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## coppers-mom (Jan 9, 2009)

My word Riley was beautiful!!!!!!!!!
Such a sweet looking boy too. Losing these sweet souls hurts so very much.

Hugs to you during this time of pain and prayers that you find peace soon.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

Thanks for sharing your pic of Riley, such a beautiful boy


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## 3 goldens (Sep 30, 2005)

I am so sorry. And you are right, most of us here hae been thru the loss of at least one dog and know and understand your grief.

I also totally understand the 2ed gussing, the "if only", the"what if". Nine years ago come Oct. 16, I lost my beautiful golden boy, Hunter (avatar)to Proheart6, the 6 month heart worm prevention. I felt somuch guilt for having switched him from nis monthly pill to that injection that i lost 40 pounds in 8 months blaming myself.

But I did come to realize that it wa snot my fault. I trusted my vet who trust the drug compnay. We were doing what we thought was a "good thing". But even tho I know it was not my fault, I still hae days of thing :"if only I had not gotten ProHeart6 for Hunter."

In 2 days, my godlen girl KayCee will have been gone 4 years. She laid next to me every ight, I rubbed her stomache giving her her loved tummy rubs--and i never felt the soft ball size tumor inside her. I had found oen the size of pea on the back of her rear leg in all that feathering (turns out it was jut fat), but didn't feel that huge one. She passed on 48 hours after the surgery. I still think "why didn't I feel that thing in her>
. If I had found it earlier maybe I would still haveher (tho she was 8 yrs. 9 months at the time). But I think we always hve the what ifs, if only, I should have, etc after losing one of our eloved dogs.


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## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss of Riley, I know he was a wonderful dog and very much loved by your family. He was a beautiful boy.

Try not to do the what ifs, I know it's easier said than done. Most of us have done the same and I feel it only makes the pain and loss worse. It was Riley's time and nothing you did or could have done can change that, it's out of our control. 

I know your pain and what you're going through. I lost my 15.5 year old boy in Feb. 2011. The first few days you're basically numb, the days turn into weeks, then months, but eventually the pain does lessen with time.
You'll eventually get to the point where you will be able to smile when you think of him and remember special moments instead of always crying. It doesn't mean that you will forget him or you won't always have a special place in your heart for him. For me it meant that I was at peace knowing he was in heaven no longer suffering, but enjoying life again and running freely. 

Riley will always be a part of you, he'll always be with you. His spirit, his love, his wonderful memories will always be with you, they can never be taken away. One day you will meet again, he'll be waiting for you.

Godspeed sweet Riley


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

That is beautiful photo of Riley, I would never said he was 11, he truly looks like a puppy.
I know what are you talking about, when minutes turns into hours, then hours into days and you are still trying to find out why that happened. I've noticed too how my little family of 3 was brought closer together with loss of our Buddy. 
I read a lot lately still trying to find the answers on so many questions I have, and yes I read about what your Riley did. They do choose the moments to leave, after their mission on earth is accomplished or sometimes they want you to learn something on the way the leave you.
But they are so special to us.


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## goldensmum (Oct 23, 2007)

So sorry for your loss of Riley - they fill our lives so much that it is not surprising that they leave a massive hole in our lives when they leave us.

It is always such a relief when they come home for the final time

Run free and sleep softly Riley


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## 4Riley (Apr 24, 2011)

I feel so comforted every time I log on to this forum and read the posts - it's my therapy for the day. This is the best group of people around!! Because of every one here....I feel a little better each and every day. I find hope that my heart will someday feel better again - it may take awhile - but I know that it will heal. 

Today was a bittersweet day for me - I was working from home - no kids or hubby around for distractions - so the house felt so empty with out Riley around. We have a cat (her name is Lena) that totally LOVED Riley - she use to snuggle up to him and he would always just look at me with his eyes as if to say - "REALLY ??? does she have to get so close and in my napping space? Anyway - they had their morning routine - Lena (the cat) was very vocal when we first got up - FEED ME - "meow,meow, meow...." food goes in the dish - Riley always went outside first before he ate - Lena always....more "meow, meow, meow" even though food was in her dish - she wouldn't touch it until Riley came back in. Food in his dish - she would wait - and then once he started she was ok to eat. 

Since he has been gone - I've wondered what was going on in her little cat brain....at first I thought hmmmmm - she doesn't seem to know that he is gone - she hasn't been mopey or depressed extra needy - but today - she was meowing as usual for her food - so I filled it up and then she just went back over to the cupboard where their food is and looked at me - "meow, meow, meow....." ok...so I'm thinking - just look at your dish - your food is in there!!!! but she wouldn't touch it....then more "meow, meow, meow" and looking at me - and you know what?? I just then realized she is looking at me saying....HEY!!! Fill up Riley's dish with his food!!!! don't you know he's been gone long enough - you need to fill up his dish with food so he comes back!!! I know that is what she was thinking - poor Lena - she misses her Riley - just like the rest of us! 

I know I have pictures of them together - I'll try and find some to post. They were good buds! 

To my Riley....you didn't just touch the hearts of people....you have a cat here that misses you too!


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## dborgers (Dec 7, 2011)

Riley just touched my heart too. I'm so sorry about your loss. Goldens sure do leave a big space, but that's because they fill up a house with their love. 

I'd love to see some more pictures and hear more about him when you feel up to it.


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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

True friends are forever and little cat is missing her Riley friend for sure. It is amazing to see the animals showing the feelings some human being are missing at large. Looking forward to see photos of those two friends.


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## HolDaisy (Jan 10, 2012)

Glad that the forum is helping you. It really is such a wonderful place full of supportive people, everyone has helped us so much the past few months.

That's such a touching story about your cat and how she's missing Riley, it sounds as if she had a lovely friendship with him - would love to see your pics of them together when you find them, take care.


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## Goldengirl4 (Apr 5, 2012)

4Riley, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. I also lost my 10 yo sweet golden girl on April 1st. I know how you feel with the "what ifs" and I know how hard it is too. Please know that your boy knew how much you loved and cared for him. He'll always hold a special place in your heart.


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