# Need advice, GF wants puppy outside :(



## Gingerkidsmom (Jan 1, 2013)

Personally I think you will never change her mind. I would ditch the girlfriend before I would put my dog outside, and I would not part with my dog for anyone.Sorry to be blunt, but that's my opinion.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

Put your foot down and tell her the dog stays inside. Period.


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

Your house, your rules... My dog and I are a package deal. I would not allow anyone, no matter how special, to kick my dog outside. 

I am not sure what you could say to your GF to change her mind, but hopefully she loves you enough to be more openminded and accepting of Einstein in the house. 


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

I would put my foot down. No person will tell me how to treat my animal. If she cannot tolerate your dog she needs to live at her own place. I think it says a lot about a human being when they think that way. I would just tell her sorry my dog is part of the package, just like her children are. You would never treat her kids like they don't matter. Nor should she treat your dog that way. Good luck with this. It's ridiculous you even have to deal with this 


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

You accept her daughters, she accepts your dog! Never, ever give up on Einstein, you' d be better off ditching the girlfriend. Sorry to be so sharp but a dog is for life and if she really loves you she will accept this.


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## solinvictus (Oct 23, 2008)

Most likely one of the reasons this girl really cares for you is because of how loving and kind you are. Part of what made you this way is your love for "just a dog" if she isn't able to understand this and be supportive of your love "for just a dog" then she really may not be the woman for you. Think long and hard on this relationship as it is doubtful that her ideas on dogs is really going to change. Do you want to spend the rest of your adult life with a woman who doesn't recognize how important your love for "just a dog" truly is because you will never be able to have a dog (the way you see a dog) if you continue with her. 
Is her view of dogs acceptable for you for the rest of your life? 5 years from now and you want a dog in your life and she wants it outside? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? Without a "just a dog" in your life? Is that acceptable to you?
Think long and hard on this........

Don't go into a relationship with the idea of changing someone to match your ideas or world views. Go into a relationship with someone that matches your view or that their views are acceptable to you even if you don't agree.

Being a responsible owner is being there for your "just a dog" for the entire life of the dog. 
Would she stay with you if you thought her children should be outside children because they are "just kids"?

Whatever direction you take on this I do wish you good luck.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

IDK how long y'all have been dating, but I imagine animals, and dog ownership came up previously? Most likely before your got Einstein? I'm with everyone else, that says to put your foot down. When my now-husband and I were dating, I flat out told him if there was ever an emergency. The animals were my first priority. Once they were safe, I would come back for him. He just looked at me, and said, "That's ok. I've got two legs and opposable thumbs. I think I can get myself out. But if you're in danger, we'll have to carry the cats out of on top of you because I won't leave you in danger." 

You can also come to a compromise, after all, that is how most relationships work. She doesn't want the dog inside, and you want to dog in bed with everyone (I am making stuff up as I go). How about the dog stays inside, but isn't allowed on the bed? 

If she's slamming the door on any type of compromise, I personally would get rid of the GF, because that begs the questions what will happen when you disagree on things down the road. Ya know? 

I hope you and her are able to sit down and have a frank, and loving conversation about what it means to live with each other and Einstein, now.


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## Eowyn (Aug 29, 2013)

Brave said:


> When my now-husband and I were dating, I flat out told him if there was ever an emergency. The animals were my first priority. Once they were safe, I would come back for him. He just looked at me, and said, "That's ok. I've got two legs and opposable thumbs. I think I can get myself out. But if you're in danger, we'll have to carry the cats out of on top of you because I won't leave you in danger."


ROFL! That is the FUNNIEST thing I have heard in a long time!


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

You know, it may just be that she hasn't lived with inside dogs before. When my Mother decided she wanted a dog before I was born, my Father who had never had a dog before, said "OK, but: 
1. The dog does not get on the bed
2. The dog does not disturb me when I am working (My Father was a University Professor)
3. Don't ever count on me to walk the dog
My Mother agreed to everything and.. guess what?
Two months later, the dog was sleeping with them on the bed every night, and my Father walked the dog so often, he was soon known as "The professor with the doggy"!!!!
Give her a chance to learn to live with an inside dog but be very clear from the start where you draw the line.


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## CharlieBear80 (Oct 13, 2013)

Yup, love me, love my dogs. Or else get out.

ETA: Although I would never advocate making any dog an outside dog, it would be particularly cruel to do to a breed like a Golden. They absolutely thrive on human interaction so keeping one outside would not be an acceptable compromise to me.


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## maggiesmommy (Feb 23, 2010)

Goldens really aren't an outside dog. Just let her know that Einstein will be in the house, not outside...if she's meant for you, she'll deal with it...if not, you'll find someone who loves couch snuggles. If you give up Einstein for her, you will resent her...trust me, I've been in that situation.


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## Tennyson (Mar 26, 2011)

You might want to rethink sending the GF the link to this thread. 
My late Mother used to tell me that you can see the soul of a person by the way they treat animals. Used that barometer all my life with no regrets.


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## maggiesmommy (Feb 23, 2010)

eleni said:


> You know, it may just be that she hasn't lived with inside dogs before. When my Mother decided she wanted a dog before I was born, my Father who had never had a dog before, said "OK, but:
> 1. The dog does not get on the bed
> 2. The dog does not disturb me when I am working (My Father was a University Professor)
> 3. Don't ever count on me to walk the dog
> ...


Same with my husband...when we got Maggie, he said "its your dog..I won't walk it, i won't feed it, its not allowed on the couch, I don't care what you name it..." Now, he's like "We should stop by Dunkin Donuts on the way home...they have those pumpkin spice donuts Maggie likes."


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

solinvictus said:


> Most likely one of the reasons this girl really cares for you is because of how loving and kind you are. Part of what made you this way is your love for "just a dog" if she isn't able to understand this and be supportive of your love "for just a dog" then she really may not be the woman for you. Think long and hard on this relationship as it is doubtful that her ideas on dogs is really going to change. Do you want to spend the rest of your adult life with a woman who doesn't recognize how important your love for "just a dog" truly is because you will never be able to have a dog (the way you see a dog) if you continue with her.
> Is her view of dogs acceptable for you for the rest of your life? 5 years from now and you want a dog in your life and she wants it outside? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? Without a "just a dog" in your life? Is that acceptable to you?
> Think long and hard on this........
> 
> ...


Very well put. I sincerely hope you give this relationship a lot of serious consideration before moving forward. She is asking you drastically change the care of your dog, to his detriment. Asking you to make major changes to something that is very important to you, (and is a living, breathing, creature dependent on you for it's welfare and best interests), does not bode well for a long term relationship.

To me, the dog living indoors, part of the family, is non-negotiable. He is not just a dog, as you said, he is your "kid". If you told her, her kids were not welcome to live in your house you know what would happen.


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## ShadowGolden (Sep 4, 2012)

Honestly, I couldn't be with a person that has that attitude toward my furry baby. That's just awful. It's not just a dog, he is a family member. 

You shouldn't have to give up your dog because she's not even open to understanding what it's like to have a pet that is part of the family.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I may be very cynical, but I would worry if she does agree to letting him stay in, when you are gone from the home she will put him out all the time.


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## Barkr (Dec 23, 2011)

Yikes I would work something out now* before* she moves in. I would resent someone coming into my home telling me that I had to keep my dog outside. I would also have difficulty leaving a person who is not fond of dogs in charge of my dog all day. Good luck with your Rock and a Hard Place


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## Alaska7133 (May 26, 2011)

My husband had dogs for rounding up cattle and hunting pheasants. They never came in the house and he saw no reason that we should do any differently. I told him no way, dog comes in the house. He actually took to the whole idea pretty quickly. I'm sure it was an adjustment for him. The only thing we don't do is allow the dogs in the bedroom at night. But with 3 dogs and a really small bedroom, I don't mind. He never thought he would ever allow a dog in the house.


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

> I may be very cynical, but I would worry if she does agree to letting him stay in, when you are gone from the home she will put him out all the time


I may be too soft, but I cannot think of anybody living with a golden for more than a few hours and not falling head over heels in love with it. Has she lived with your dog? Has she gotten to know him? If the answer is yes and she still does not want to change her mind, then I would be really worried about where things are going


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## maggiesmommy (Feb 23, 2010)

CharlieBear80 said:


> ETA: Although I would never advocate making any dog an outside dog, it would be particularly cruel to do to a breed like a Golden. They absolutely thrive on human interaction so keeping one outside would not be an acceptable compromise to me.


Case in point, Maggie: 










I doubt Maggie could be an outside dog...she's accustom to...ahem..a certain lifestyle...


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## Tayla's Mom (Apr 20, 2012)

Deal breaker for me, as well. The problem, IMO, with relationships today is people don't talk about what is really important to them prior to getting together. Money, how it will or won't be spent/saved, religion, politics, children and in your case pets. If Einstein is important to you you need to have that talk and others before you let someone move in with you and have charge of your dog while you are gone. Personally, kids are smelly, loud, obnoxious and dirty at times and they aren't asked to be outside. I wouldn't trust that the dog will be well cared for when you are away unless you have these discussions prior to her moving in.


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## migs (Nov 8, 2013)

Ditch her! 
Einstein loves you more than she does anyways.


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## darcylee (Jun 28, 2013)

Wow - tough situation. Like others have said, I don't know anything about you or your girlfriend, other than what you have stated. I don't know anything about age or maturity. But it seems to me, that a woman (with 2 kids) _should _be mature enough to compromise in a relationship. She is not compromising. Sounds like she has an ultimatum. And I would guess that you are the type of person who is very caring and loving and doesn't want to upset or hurt the people they love. 

But this woman does not have the right to tell you what to do with your dog. She is not your wife. And with the way she is acting, assuming she is unwilling to compromise or ATTEMPT to compromise PRIOR to moving into your house, I wouldn't be dating her much longer either, much else letting her move into my house. This is one of her attributes. Are YOU comfortable with this attribute of her character?

I highly suggest this matter should be discussed in length and detail prior to any plans of her and her daughters moving in with you. Since you feel you are at the moving in stage, I would guess that you and she were in a relationship prior to Einstein even being born. What are her actions when she is around Einstein now? Does she even attempt to bond with him? Play with him? Train him? Love him? I wouldn't want Einstein stuck with a woman who dislikes him during the day, with his only relief and love coming from you when you're home. 

As painful as this situation might be for you, remember you are Einstein's voice in this situation. He has put all his love and trust in you. You're his daddy. So you have to stand up for him and yourself. 

Best of luck to you.


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## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

I don't think it's quite as cut and dried as "it's me or the dog". 
I think there are many people who were raised with dogs outside. I know our first dog was an "outdoor dog" when I was little. Because that's how my parents were raised. My mom grew up on a farm, with all kinds of animals, but the animals lived outside or in a barn, not in the house.

Over time, my parents' views have changed, and since that first dog, we/they've had 3 indoor dogs, and three indoor cats, parakeets, gerbils, hamsters, etc. Their last dog even became a certified therapy dog who they took to nursing homes and did obedience demonstrations with. Quite a long way from the outdoor-only hunting dog mentality they started with.

That being said, I personally, would have a really hard time getting to the point in a relationship with someone who didn't understand my love of animals that I was thinking of living with them. I just can't see myself falling for someone who didn't share, or at least understand that part of me.

If I did, and if I were considering living with someone whose views were like your GF's, I would go into it only after some serious discussion, and only after making it known that I would definitely NOT be turning my dog into an outdoor dog, nor would I be giving my dog up. 

If she is willing to try living with an indoor dog, great. See how it goes. If my sig. other wasn't willing to try, or tried and said no way, then yes, it would probably be a deal-breaker for me. I would have a hard time understanding how someone who claimed to love me, would ask me to do something that would hurt me as much as giving up my pup would hurt.


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## Sally's Mom (Sep 20, 2010)

My first childhood dogs were outdoors as my parents were afraid my sister would be allergic. The first one got hit by a car and the second one ran off. The next two were inside pets. My dad remembers that my sister and I stopped having nightmares and climbing into their beds when we each had a dog that slept in our beds.

Goldens are not outdoor dogs. It would be hard for me to form a permanent relationship with someone who could not accept my love for dogs...fortunately I married a fellow vet who accepts my passion for Goldens.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

eleni said:


> You know, it may just be that she hasn't lived with inside dogs before. When my Mother decided she wanted a dog before I was born, my Father who had never had a dog before, said "OK, but:
> 1. The dog does not get on the bed
> 2. The dog does not disturb me when I am working (My Father was a University Professor)
> 3. Don't ever count on me to walk the dog
> ...


Thanks. While I kinda agree with the other responses, this one is a little more constructive for me to work with lol. 

She has kinda mentioned she would try it IF the dog did not smell and IF he calmed down. Me personally, I'm convinced that if she only spent some time with him she would also fall in love with him. The calm thing she knows will come with age, and she has even mentioned only keeping him outside until he is 2 or so.....well big problem here is training. He must be inside to learn to to act inside and be around her and her kids. Even at this point where I keep him outside during the day on weekends when they are over visiting, I can already sense he is loosing some of this training that he gained by when my 2 sons were over every weekend while he was kept inside. 

What I think I'm going to try and do starting this Friday when I get off work, is mop all the floors and give him and bath and keep in inside all weekend except for supervised potty breaks. That way he can stay clean for her, and get used to them being there so hes not so excited like he's on crack lol. Her daughters are young, 7 and 2, so it's difficult to teach them how not to act to get him all excited like with my older boys who are 14 and 10. If he gets too excited, I'll simply put him in another section of the house for 30mins to calm down then reintroduce him. I think after a few weekends she will see how calm he can be once he is used to the new people in his house and that he doesn't smell or ruin the floors when he is kept inside.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

92GTA said:


> Thanks. While I kinda agree with the other responses, this one is a little more constructive for me to work with lol.
> 
> She has kinda mentioned she would try it IF the dog did not smell and IF he calmed down. Me personally, I'm convinced that if she only spent some time with him she would also fall in love with him. The calm thing she knows will come with age, and she has even mentioned only keeping him outside until he is 2 or so.....well big problem here is training. He must be inside to learn to to act inside and be around her and her kids. Even at this point where I keep him outside during the day on weekends when they are over visiting, I can already sense he is loosing some of this training that he gained by when my 2 sons were over every weekend while he was kept inside.
> 
> What I think I'm going to try and do starting this Friday when I get off work, is mop all the floors and give him and bath and keep in inside all weekend except for supervised potty breaks. That way he can stay clean for her, and get used to them being there so hes not so excited like he's on crack lol. Her daughters are young, 7 and 2, so it's difficult to teach them how not to act to get him all excited like with my older boys who are 14 and 10. If he gets too excited, I'll simply put him in another section of the house for 30mins to calm down then reintroduce him. I think after a few weekends she will see how calm he can be once he is used to the new people in his house and that he doesn't smell or ruin the floors when he is kept inside.


Don't be afraid to let the girls play in a separate area than where the pup is. I've seen people section of places in their living rooms and dining room so the dog still feels a part of the family, but is sequestered when the children get crazy.


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

Personal question but how long have you been dating her? If it's been less than 2 yrs, I have my own opinion on your relationship. 
I agree with most that if she's not willing to compromise she's probably not for you. 


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

> She has kinda mentioned she would try it IF the dog did not smell and IF he calmed down. Me personally, I'm convinced that if she only spent some time with him she would also fall in love with him. The calm thing she knows will come with age, and she has even mentioned only keeping him outside until he is 2 or so.....well big problem here is training. He must be inside to learn to to act inside and be around her and her kids. Even at this point where I keep him outside during the day on weekends when they are over visiting, I can already sense he is loosing some of this training that he gained by when my 2 sons were over every weekend while he was kept inside.
> 
> What I think I'm going to try and do starting this Friday when I get off work, is mop all the floors and give him and bath and keep in inside all weekend except for supervised potty breaks. That way he can stay clean for her, and get used to them being there so hes not so excited like he's on crack lol. Her daughters are young, 7 and 2, so it's difficult to teach them how not to act to get him all excited like with my older boys who are 14 and 10. If he gets too excited, I'll simply put him in another section of the house for 30mins to calm down then reintroduce him. I think after a few weekends she will see how calm he can be once he is used to the new people in his house and that he doesn't smell or ruin the floors when he is kept inside.


Good thinking. That's why I asked whether she had gotten to know Einstein or not . I certainly don't agree that your dog should be an outside dog until he is two or whatever other age your GF dictates. First, he will never learn how to be a well trained inside dog and second, nobody can guarantee that Einstein will be calm enough and clean enough for her to accept at 2, 3 or whatever age. If I were you, I would make absolutely clear that Einstein is there to stay and that you are really willing to do whatever it takes for the dog to get well acquainted with her and her daughters so that they can eventually have a good working relationship. I would be careful with the 2 year old, it is very easy for Einstein to welcome her as a litter mate and be quite jumpy, bity and aggressive with her, which will definitely...not help things. But the 7 year old is another matter, she could be your best ally here if she (or rather WHEN) she falls in love with the dog and insists he sleeps in her bed!!!


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

You need a new woman in your life that thinks like you. A true animal lover couldn't get along with someone that says "he's just a dog babe"......the thing is HE'S YOUR DOG!!!!!!!


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

Ksdenton said:


> Personal question but how long have you been dating her? If it's been less than 2 yrs, I have my own opinion on your relationship.
> I agree with most that if she's not willing to compromise she's probably not for you.
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Since Feb. so by the time she moved in it would be nearly 1.5yrs. Not like we are getting married then, that would still be another year after that at the soonest. I'm a firm believer in living with someone for at least a year before getting serious like marriage.


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## darcylee (Jun 28, 2013)

92GTA said:


> Thanks. While I kinda agree with the other responses, this one is a little more constructive for me to work with lol.
> 
> She has kinda mentioned she would try it IF the dog did not smell and IF he calmed down. Me personally, I'm convinced that if she only spent some time with him she would also fall in love with him. The calm thing she knows will come with age, and she has even mentioned only keeping him outside until he is 2 or so.....well big problem here is training. He must be inside to learn to to act inside and be around her and her kids. Even at this point where I keep him outside during the day on weekends when they are over visiting, I can already sense he is loosing some of this training that he gained by when my 2 sons were over every weekend while he was kept inside.
> 
> What I think I'm going to try and do starting this Friday when I get off work, is mop all the floors and give him and bath and keep in inside all weekend except for supervised potty breaks. That way he can stay clean for her, and get used to them being there so hes not so excited like he's on crack lol. Her daughters are young, 7 and 2, so it's difficult to teach them how not to act to get him all excited like with my older boys who are 14 and 10. If he gets too excited, I'll simply put him in another section of the house for 30mins to calm down then reintroduce him. I think after a few weekends she will see how calm he can be once he is used to the new people in his house and that he doesn't smell or ruin the floors when he is kept inside.


I think your plan to keep Einstein inside during their visits is a good start. Since you've already appeased her in kicking him outside during visits, you've already lost a foothold and some valuable training and bonding experiences. I think you've already given her the impression he could stay outside by your actions, because that is exactly what you did when they were there. Now is a good time to start working on their relationships with Einstein. 

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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

The people you will find here on GRF are passionate about our dogs, they are FAMILY. So the responses you get are going to be strongly on the dogs side.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

mylissyk said:


> The people you will find here on GRF are passionate about our dogs, they are FAMILY. So the responses you get are going to be strongly on the dogs side.


Which is EXACTLY why I came here for advice


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## CStrong73 (Jun 11, 2012)

eleni said:


> Good thinking. That's why I asked whether she had gotten to know Einstein or not . I certainly don't agree that your dog should be an outside dog until he is two or whatever other age your GF dictates. First, he will never learn how to be a well trained inside dog and second, nobody can guarantee that Einstein will be calm enough and clean enough for her to accept at 2, 3 or whatever age. If I were you, I would make absolutely clear that Einstein is there to stay and that you are really willing to do whatever it takes for the dog to get well acquainted with her and her daughters so that they can eventually have a good working relationship. I would be careful with the 2 year old, it is very easy for Einstein to welcome her as a litter mate and be quite jumpy, bity and aggressive with her, which will definitely...not help things. But the 7 year old is another matter, she could be your best ally here if she (or rather WHEN) she falls in love with the dog and insists he sleeps in her bed!!!


Good point. My 8 year old daughter is, surprisingly, the one who bonded the most with Rocket. It was my 11 year old who wanted a new puppy after we lost our Collie. And the 11 year old does love Rocket, but the 8 year old, who really didn't have much to do with our last dog, is in love with Rocket. They are best buddies.

You will need to work with the kids to help them understand that they need to be gentle and calm with Einstein. I've found that Rocket is a total couch potato...UNTIL the kids get amped up and start screaming, wrestling, or dancing. Then he wants to join in. Having a safe place to put Einstein when the kids want to cut loose is also a great idea.


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## thorbreafortuna (Jun 9, 2013)

I know you may not be able to hear this advice right now, you are probably emotionally attached to this woman and she may be quite wonderful in many respects, but I feel that the fundamental difference that this represents in both of your world views will eventually come back to bite you. I'm sure there will be other pretty fundamental differences that will follow; I would question if this is the right person for you, as many above have. One way that it can work is if she has enough love to understand how you feel about your dog and is willing to open her heart to it. Give her that chance, speak to her form the heart and don't budge on this issue. She really can't get to tell you what to do with your dog, and no woman with a beating heart would put you in a position to have to even consider giving him up! If she can't hear what you're saying you probably should questions this relationship pretty seriously.


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

If there is a way to involve your girlfriend in Einstein's training, that may help to develop a bond between them. I would also involve the kids in supervised training as well. The girls might win Mom over when they fall in love with the dog.


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## migs (Nov 8, 2013)

^^^^^^this(post of thorbreafortuna)


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

This just MADE my day!!! Bless his heart!



maggiesmommy said:


> Same with my husband...when we got Maggie, he said "its your dog..I won't walk it, i won't feed it, its not allowed on the couch, I don't care what you name it..." Now, he's like "We should stop by Dunkin Donuts on the way home...they have those pumpkin spice donuts Maggie likes."


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Ditch her! No, I am just joking. I think dogs are one of those things that can really change a person through their adult life. There aren't many things, but dogs (and cats for some) are definitely one. Good advice on agreeing to ground rules both for the dog and also for what you need to do to care for the dog to meet her wants. 

Don't underestimate dog walkers and day cares, get some help to get that energy burnt off! 

Regular grooming also, if he is fluffy and gorgeous and smells nice, how will they resist? Having a groomer do it once in a while will also avoid the mess and wetness that can take the shine off bathing dogs for people.

Manners manners manners, this can be a great learning experience for her girls too. 

Dogs are living, loving animals that want a relationship, she just has never experienced it. Once she does, I bet she completely caves. If she doesn't, then I'd definitely say to run!


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## Wenderwoman (Jan 7, 2013)

Vhuynh2 said:


> Your house, your rules... My dog and I are a package deal. I would not allow anyone, no matter how special, to kick my dog outside. http://www.petguide.com/mobile


This is how it was with me too, it's a package deal. My bf did not like cats too much but has learned to appreciate them now.

Pets aren't like ugly couches, they need good loving homes and deserve them. I wouldn't let her mistreat the dog you love. That is completely unfair to ask of you.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

I have really strong feelings about bossy people who have their minds made up before even trying.

I could never be attracted to someone like that. 

If she thinks the love of your life, Einstein, is "just a dog, then how easy will it be for her to run other facets of your life...golf outings, a boat, a bike, guy friends, the game. It sounds like a bad deal to me. 47 years married, btw.


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## PiratesAndPups (Sep 24, 2013)

If a woman I was in a relationship with ever told me to put my girls outside or get rid of them, I know exactly who would be gotten rid of in that situation and it isn't one of my dogs. For me, it's too much of who I am. I am a dog person, I am a pet parent. My pups are my kids, whether people like it or not. I will only date someone who not only tolerates dogs, but loves them like I do. It's a much a deal breaker as anything else for me!


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## sdhgolden (Aug 13, 2012)

92GTA said:


> What I think I'm going to try and do starting this Friday when I get off work, is mop all the floors and give him and bath and keep in inside all weekend except for supervised potty breaks. That way he can stay clean for her, and get used to them being there so hes not so excited like he's on crack lol. Her daughters are young, 7 and 2, so it's difficult to teach them how not to act to get him all excited like with my older boys who are 14 and 10. If he gets too excited, I'll simply put him in another section of the house for 30mins to calm down then reintroduce him. I think after a few weekends she will see how calm he can be once he is used to the new people in his house and that he doesn't smell or ruin the floors when he is kept inside.


I think this is a great plan! If all you have to do is bathe him regularly and mop, then after he gets used to them, trained around them and can calm down around them, I think things could work out just fine. The training is something that could take a little time but nothing terribly long. And in the end it's really not that long at all. I'm sure your GF would be willing to put up with a few months of training if it meant having a good dog and spending the rest of her life with you. My dogs get excited with visitors and when we get home but other than that they are lazy throughout the day. Baby gates is a good Idea too! Our dogs are indoor dogs and my husband loves them but would probably go nuts if I didn't bathe them regularly and vacuum a lot. I really don't mind, especially because I too would go crazy if our house smelled like dog or if their was hair everywhere lol! If that's the only problem then it's totally doable. 


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

I agree with others who say the situation could come back to bite you. My friend was sort of in the same situation with her BF. In the end, the BF caused her to rehome her puppy. Although they seemingly moved on and worked it out, it would come back up whenever they argued and my friend has not forgiven him. And how poorly the BF handled the situation really showed the type of person he was in the relationship in other ways. They are no longer together, and my friend deserves way better.


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

92GTA said:


> Since Feb. so by the time she moved in it would be nearly 1.5yrs. Not like we are getting married then, that would still be another year after that at the soonest. I'm a firm believer in living with someone for at least a year before getting serious like marriage.


I'm sure this will upset some people but I think you should wait until after the 2 yr mark to move in together. I say that because it is very common for relationships to fail at the 2 yr mark. At 2 yrs the "honeymoon" phase is over and the tolerance of each other is more limited. I would hate for you to do something drastic to appease her and only have an ended relationship within a years time. Sorry to sound so negative but my opinion. Can't tell you how many people I've talked to with failing relationships and I ask how long together and hear "2 yrs". On top of that, you need someone who is respectful of you. Kicking your dog outside isn't respectful of you. 


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## Gwen_Dandridge (Jul 14, 2012)

Okay, I'm voting with the "Get your dog some training, exercise and bathe him" camp. Truly, I would sit down with your GF and say that your dog needs to be inside, now, not at two years old. Then I would ask what changes would help for her to be okay with this. 

If there are none, then you have a different problem. 

Are there problems with your pup that you need to address? Or is this an unreasonable GF?


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

My friends have a dog free zone in their house which is where the kids play area is. That way the kids can have all of their obstruction causing toys without danger to the dog, and it protects the kids from getting upset when their toys are chewed!

My father was raised with the philosophy of you will ruin a good hunting dog by bringing it inside. Little dogs inside, but the hunting dogs outside. That changed pretty quickly! He also despised cats, until I begged for one and he finally relented. He would spend hours petting that cat-but he'd deny it!

At the same time, for me personally, not liking dogs/cats is a deal breaker.

Also, how long have you been together. This is the pessimist in me, but what happens a year from now when you break up, but you've already given up your dog?
Also, seriously think if you are willing to live your life without a dog?
And, I do think it would be better to rehome Einstein than to banish him to the outdoors.


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## Sunpuppy (Jul 24, 2013)

I am so blessed. When I went on the first date with my fiance , I had 5 dogs in the house. My two, two I was petstting, and a puppy I was fostering. Two weeks before that, I also had the puppy's 4 littermates, too. 

He knew that first day what my dogs meant to me. He would never, ever have asked me to put the dogs outside. That would have meant certain death to our relationship. While he admits, if it were up to him, we wouldn't have the responsibility of pets. BUT, he is a wonderful doggy daddy. We have absolutely no issues regarding the dogs. In fact, we're getting a puppy in February! I take the lion share of dog duties, but he is a very willing helper.

Living outdoors away from you is no life for Einstein. You know that. That cannot happen--if you are considering it, you should surrender him to a reputable rescue. However, I can't imagine you doing that and not resenting her for it.

I wonder what will happen when you disagree with things her children do? Will she appreciate your views on how to discipline them? Will she allow you to take an active role? Those are real issues you need to discuss now, before the move, as well.

I agree with others that wonder about your relationship if she is requesting that this dog, that she knows is so dear to you, be put outside. Part of me understands her thoughts only because, being involved with rescue, I've run across many people with these views on dog ownership. It is very difficult to educate and change people's minds regarding dog ownership. You should try, though. See if she will come around. If she doesn't, then you have a big decision to make. 

Good luck with your decision. I hope you make the right decision for you, your girlfriend and her children, as well as Einstein.


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I am so sorry you are going through this. When my Mercy misbehaved e.g. barking at night, chewing, my husband wanted to get rid of her. My hubby and Mercy are becomming better friends all the time now. My heart breaks for you. Since you two are not married yet, maybe you should consider whether this woman is right for you. I also don't recommend people living together if they are not married. I wish you the best.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Additional thought. I think it would be an eye-opener to put your foot down and she how she reacts. Could be a HUGE indicator of the future when you want to put your foot down. People who think they are right ALWAYS think they have a good reason. The really hard thing in life is to not give up your agenda in favor of someone else's agenda.

In my opinion this is about more than the dog. The dog is the topic, I wonder if control is the issue.


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## ktkins7 (Jul 20, 2013)

I just know that with me personally, I would never give up Ella or make her live outside for anyone. If I had a boyfriend that was absolutely against living with Ella, I would take Ella over him. Ella is essentially my baby and she and her needs come first. I'm responsible for her health and well-being and ensuring that she is a happy puppy. But that's me. She's my baby.

However, I would try to compromise rather than just give an ultimatum. In your situation, like it has been mentioned, more grooming than normal, ensuring he is clean and good smelling. Introduce him to the GF and her kids a little at a time and make sure its supervised so that if Einstein gets worked up you can get him under control and calm him down. Maybe use baby gates to limit where he can go in the house, but make sure that he isn't all by himself and away from everyone. Like its been mentioned, goldens are people dogs, they want to be near their people. But ultimately I would try to get the GF and her kids used to the dogs. See if you can figure out if there is some other reason that she doesn't want Einstein living in the house.

If she is willing to compromise to something that you find acceptable for both you and Einstein, then that is a good sign. Remember that you are the one representing Einstein here so you have to do what is best for him. If she isn't willing to compromise at all (and the leaving him outside until he is 2 is stupid, no guarantee that he will ever be inside and I feel like that would be very detrimental to him and his training) then consider this a bad sign. Its more likely that she will be unwilling to compromise with other future situations because she will know she can get what she wants. If she truly loves you then she will know how important Einstein is to you and she will work with you to find a way to make it work.

Good luck!


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

I'd ditch that girlfriend. How'd she react if you told her she'd have to give up her kids before moving in with you? Your dog is YOUR kid, and he should have priority over her cold-heartedness.

I know I know...your life, your decisions. But if any prospective BF of mine told me I'd have to kick my dog outside, he'd find his butt and all his belongings out there in a snow bank before he could say "Darn it. What did I say now?".


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

I don't trust people who don't like dogs. Her daughters are coming in as part of the package, and you come across as a good man with a good heart. You're a package deal too, you have Eienstein. If you're not accepted as a package deal I would seriously rethink this arrangement. Outside is no place for a golden. Fact...dogs run, play, romp, get wet dirty and stinky, and love to roll in stinky stuff. They get hyper, get zoomies and lose control. They also have nothing to offer but unconditional love. As people, our dogs are part of our lives, but for our dogs we are their whole lives. They have nothing ( and need nothing) other than us. If your GF can't get this, well.... Personally, I could never neglect the needs of my dogs just to appease another person. You love Eienstein, and the guilt over putting him outside would be overwhelming. How could you be happy no matter how in love with your GF you are if you had to look in your boy's brown eyes that asked you 'why dad, what did I do?' The only answer that you could give him would be ' because you're a dog' .


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

rhymes with "ditch".


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## Angelina (Aug 11, 2011)

I'm in Novato. If you need to rehome him let me know; I'll give him a good, loving home inside the house. You have enough judgement emails here; you don't need another, but for the sake of the dog's mental health he needs to live as a family member inside or be rehomed. If you love him as much as you say you do you will recognize that and do what is best for the dog. Good luck to you.


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## alphadude (Jan 15, 2010)

Simple, get a NEW girlfriend and the golden stays inside.


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## JayBen (Aug 30, 2012)

This really isn't complicated at all. I'm going to put this bluntly. You've only been dating for a year and half. You are crazy for having this person AND HER CHILDREN move in with you to begin with. (forget the dog part for a second). You will never be able to end things if the relationship goes south. You will get attached to HER kids and you will never kick them out of YOUR house. They are there to stay and she can do whatever she darn well pleases. 
I can tell how much you love your dog. Why would you not want someone who shares the same love for dogs as you? This would be like a woman really wanting children and marrying someone who hates children. There are many gaps that are bridgeable but I don't feel that this is one. 
MY ADVICE 
#1 DO NOT move this person and her kids in with you
#2 DO NOT give up on your dog...you are his world...he depends on YOU
#3 DO give the relationship more time, have her spend more time with your dog and see how things go. If they don't go well, you have a simple solution without having to deal with kicking them all out of your house.
#DO _consider_ getting married before living together.


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

I'm sorry you're going through this. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place. All I can say is that it's really hard to change someone's mind if they've got it made up. Only you can answer if this relationship is the right one for you. I do agree that you took on a responsibility to be an advocate for your GR for the duration of his life - he's completely dependent on you - and that may mean finding him a safe and loving home where he can be inside with a family. Good luck with your decision.


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## GinnyinPA (Oct 31, 2010)

The issue of where the dog sleeps is only part of the problem. The fact that she can't stand the smell of a healthy dog and the dirt is, to me, a bigger red flag. I have two sisters in law that are absolute clean freaks. I would never be able to live with either of them, because their obsessive cleanliness is not easy to handle. We don't stay with either one, because we know our dog isn't welcome. Their husbands are okay with it (both are former military men) but I know my much more relaxed husband would never tolerate living the way they do Do you really want to live with someone who can't stand a little dirt and smell?


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

GinnyinPA said:


> The fact that she can't stand the smell of a healthy dog and the dirt is, to me, a bigger red flag.


I find this odd, too. I mean, she's bringing two small children along. Two kids (bless their little hearts) are going to generate far more dirt and mess than one healthy dog.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

Pudden said:


> I find this odd, too. I mean, she's bringing two small children along. Two kids (bless their little hearts) are going to generate far more dirt and mess than one healthy dog.


That's very true, but most non-dog people think the dogs are dirtier than children.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

Relationships involve compromise. Things we compromise about are: tv programs, who cooks dinner that night, certain furnishings each of us have to have and the other loathes. Compromising is saying to someone,"I love you. Although I may not like everything u do, I love you enuf and respect your needs to happily let u have that ugly chair in my house. (As long as it is put in that dark corner-lol).
Small compromises like these don't cost much. Its bolsters a relationship greatly to concede your ground once in awhile, with unresentful love and acceptance.
But children, fur and human, as well as our core moral beliefs are not minor compromises. They make us who we are. We can compromise on certain things like curfew time for our humans and where the dogs can chew their bones, but the happiness and well being of those we love can never be compromised, as these are things closest and dearest to our hearts. 

The first two dates with my fiancee Alan were sans dog. Although I knew he was not a dog nut like me, Homer came along on our third date. As crazy as I was about Alan already by that third date, I am just not me without a dog. Alan needed to fully understand that dogs have always been a big part of my life, I will always be a package deal. 
If Alan was in anyway negative about the dog, or required Homer to sleep outside or that he was always perfectly behaved and groomed, our relationship would have been over and I would have been very sad. But I would resent jumping thru hoops to make my dog into what someone else thinks he should be, when he was already perfect in my eyes.
I have hardwood and tiles floors for easy cleaning, less work for me. But I don't stress a normal happy dirty pup living side by side with me. And I would go nuts being nagged about such trivial matters in my own home.
In Alan's house Olliver is not allowed on furniture. In my house he is. We have no problems with those respectful compromises. But Alan loves Olliver as much as I do. And we both love our own and each other's human kids. I don't see how it would work for me if those things were not true.


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## Kally76 (Jun 14, 2010)

If you are willing to help take care of her kids, she should be willing to help take care of your dog. If he's not clean enough for her, getting him clean should be the issue....not demoting him to the yard.

I think it's very sweet that you are trying to make them feel at home at your home. I don't mean to make this sound mean or anything but where you messed up is letting her believe the dog is an option. My dog's aren't an option. They are completely incorporated into our lives and anyone that we meet just has to understand that.

I would even be flexible and do some of the things that would make her feel more comfortable having him inside, but outside wouldn't even be a consideration.


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## gold4me (Mar 12, 2006)

When my husband and I started dating I told him that dating me was a package deal. I had a horse and a dog and if that was a problem for him then we should go no further with our relationship. My golden was an inside dog(not the horse) and with us constantly and that is the way I wanted it. I also wanted him to know that horses were expensive and he needed to be ok with that because I would not compromise. We are still together 22 years later. BUT had he not been able to accept that I would have moved on without him.


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## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

If she's asking to keep the dog outside then say you'll br staying outside as well.

Seriously, you two are family. I'll be ****** if I ever meet a girl who asks me to keep Maverick outside, especially under my own roof. If she can't appreciate Einstein, she can't truly appreciate you. 

Sorry to be blunt, but asking you to do such a thing is like asking you to change the type of person you are. I've gone great lengths to keep people happy but never will I change who I am and never will I abandon Maverick who has become my best friend and family


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

gold4me said:


> W My golden was an inside dog(not the horse) .


you know, country Germans in the old days had these long, flat barn-style houses (Hausbarn) where everybody, humans, cattle, horses, dogs, lived under one roof. They go back 2000 years to the old Germanians. I guess during those cold winter nights having a few horses in the house is like an extra heater. I bet those people had healthy immune systems

Mama had a horse once too and woulda loved it!

(sorry for the hijack)


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## mddolson (Jul 10, 2012)

*My dog and I are a package deal.*



Vhuynh2 said:


> Your house, your rules... My dog and I are a package deal. I would not allow anyone, no matter how special, to kick my dog outside.
> 
> I am not sure what you could say to your GF to change her mind, but hopefully she loves you enough to be more openminded and accepting of Einstein in the house.


Yes, I second the comments, My thoughts exactly.

Mike D


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

I'll be honest (uh oh) your dog is not my biggest worry with what you've described. My life experience has taught me that you can't expect people who are fundamentally different than you are to change, or even if they soften - it takes years. A couple things here bother me.

1) Your description of the situation in your very first post described your girlfriend as "cold hearted" toward your dog. When I think of the ideal candidate of a person to choose as a life partner, 'cold hearted' toward any living creature is nowhere on the list of traits I'm looking for, especially when it's toward something as important as my dog. She doesn't understand that your dog is a part of who you are. You have some fundamental differences here. Are you really sure you want to spend your life with someone who is offended by your dog?

2) My biggest issue…. I wouldn't trust this woman's judgement or treatment of your dog if she is already willing to discuss moving her kids in under the same roof with a man she's only known since February. She's not sure enough about you to marry you but she's going to trust you with her kids in the same home? This is not the ideal environment to go into with them if they've already been through one divorce - they need stability and safety. I'm sure you are probably a great guy, but she hasn't even known you a year and she doesn't know with 100% certainty everything about you, your family and your background and friends - there hasn't been enough time and exposure - to be sure. Yet she's going to bring her kids into this… Don't even get me started about what kind of an example this sets for those kids about love and commitment. If this is how she protects her kids, your dog doesn't stand a chance.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

GinnyinPA said:


> The issue of where the dog sleeps is only part of the problem. The fact that she can't stand the smell of a healthy dog and the dirt is, to me, a bigger red flag. ....Do you really want to live with someone who can't stand a little dirt and smell?


This is what has been in my mind all the way through this thread. No matter what you do, bathe the dog every day even, there is always going to be a little extra dirt and a little extra fur and a little sweet smell that comes with a dog. And my worry is that as much as you clean and clean Einstein, it will never be enough for her, and your poor boy will end up outdoors. 

I'm also not sure why someone coming to live in YOUR house gets to make such a rule. She is coming into YOUR house and HIS house. If it were reversed - if you were going to move into HER house, she would have the right to say, no dog (and you'd have the right to say, well, then I'm not moving in). But this is what is troubling me about the whole thing. 

What if some day, say 10 years from now, she decided, "No old dogs. They're too expensive, too sickly, too tired..?"


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## Ksdenton (Mar 17, 2013)

Nolefan and Sweet Girl, you both hit exact points I've been thinking. Nolefan, I agree with you 100% about a mother to protect her kids and how this appears but I know people don't all see things the same way so didn't bring it up. 


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

Einstein is your kid, your best friend. Would you give up your kid or best friend for a woman? I think not. You might be tempted to if you were crazy in love with that woman, but you know that this is a "must not" and not a good basis for a strong, long-term relationship.


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## Sweet Girl (Jun 10, 2010)

I've just come back to this thread after an hour or so (I have a feeling it's going to stay with me through the day) - because I've been sitting here on my couch with my teeny little seven-month-old curled up right up against me the whole time. I can smell her sweet smell (she has the same sweet smell my lovely Tesia had) and hear her breathing, and I am stroking her soft ears as I am reading and typing. 

I can't imagine giving this up. I can't imagine putting this sweet soul outside, far away from me. For anyone.


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## ZeppGold (Aug 9, 2009)

We had a dog when I was growing up - strictly an outside dog. That was just the way it was. My parents would occasionally let them in the basement (really more of a cellar) but never in the house. I guess I liked dogs, but always thought they were "dirty". 

When I married my husband, he had a husky. She was kept outside and in the basement, but he did bring her in occasionally. She was a little wild from always being tied. When we moved to a different house, we brought her into the house. She started in the basement and then was moved upstairs. She slowly took over the house and in the process, she calmed down and became part of the family. 

We now have three goldens, our daughter's dog and a cat in our house. Sometimes it is hard to find a place to sit at night. Sometimes we get tired of always wearing some dog fur, but we would not give up any of our dogs because of that. They give us enough back that we put up with the extra dirt. And with four dogs in the country, that can be a lot. 

I guess my point is that people can change in their attitudes about dogs. I definitely did. But I would suggest you start using your weekends to see if your girlfriend can adjust to having the dog inside. And then deciding what is more important to you. Just remember that your dog deserves a home where he is part of the family, not a lawn ornament. 
Good luck.


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## Wendi (Jul 2, 2012)

First, it's probably not a good idea to ask a chat board full of people with nothing to lose about a personal situation.

Second, people can not really say what they would do until they face with the same exact situation.

Ya, ya, I know, I know, you know for sure what you would do.(general you)

The question I would be asking myself is....does she have control issues?

To me, you have partially contributed to this problem. You stated you keep the dog outside while they are visiting on the weekend. So, perhaps she doesn't really understand that you have a problem with keeping him outside because you have done so when they visit so far.


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## Jaxmom (Oct 3, 2013)

Wow...tough one. Having lived in a warm climate until recently I have had outside only dogs before. I have also had inside dogs. But I can tell you, I would never, ever, ask someone to make their inside dog an outside dog. Poor dog, part of the family and then kicked out. And she is moving in with her two children? I am so aggravated just reading this. I think how people feel about animals says something about the kind of person they are. You may really want to rethink what you are doing by moving in together. As one person asked...are you ok with this years down the road? Not to mention your poor puppy who will be one by then will have no idea what he did wrong. Put your foot down... dog stays inside!!!


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## physicx87 (Dec 20, 2013)

After having my Golden retriever puppy for almost three months, I would never never give Stryder up for anyone (even a girlfriend). I know it's hard and you obviously love your girlfriend if you're contemplating the idea of giving him up, but she needs to understand he's your best friend now and probably more loyal than any one person. You're willing to accept her and her kids into YOUR home, so she needs to be accepting of your son (dog). Plain and simple!


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## robinrd (Oct 30, 2012)

I personally would not be with anyone who says "its just a dog" I can't stand that when people say that. The dog stays in the house, what is the point of having it when it is outside and can't be part of the family, makes me sad just thinking about it.


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## gmammad (May 31, 2013)

I agree with the "you accept her children, she should accept _*your*_ "kid"! Once again, your house, your rules........


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## Zuca's mom (Aug 14, 2012)

I've been around long enough to know that you aren't going to ditch the girl. She will move in, run roughshod over you, you will fight, and you will probably not last. Sorry, but it usually doesn't work out when the divide is this great. You seem like a really sweet, loving, gentle guy and she seems like a pushy, unbending, and not very loving person. Just the impression I get. However, it's your life. I would caution you on just one thing. Please, please, please do not leave him unsupervised with the children. There are enough heartbreaking stories of children hurting dogs and dogs biting in self defense and the dog has to be euthanized. Do what you want but protect Einstein. Don't let him be the victim in this situation. When you got him, you essentially promised to be there for him until the end. I hope you aren't offended. I meant no offense, just giving you food for thought since you asked.


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## Dancer (Apr 5, 2010)

92GTA said:


> Einstein is barely 6 months now, in another 6 months my GF and her 2 daughters will be moving in with me. All seems great except....
> 
> She's really cold hearted when it comes to dogs. Her family always had outdoor only dogs kept in cages for like hunting, not as a pet/member of the family. Shes fine with an indoor cat tho that poops in the house in a box, go figure lol.
> 
> ...


Hi Alex,
I haven't yet read the other responses to this thread, just your original post as I want to give you my honest and unbiased thoughts. So obviously I'm going to tell you a long winded story and hope you find it useful. 

When we moved into our first home together, my husband (boyfriend at the time) felt much the same as your girlfriend. He'd been raised on a farm, with only outsidedogs. As soon as we moved into our house, I was desperate to have my elderly Dalmatian leave my parents home and move in with us. He never put up a fight, although I knew he didn't like my Dalmatian very much. He knew how much it meant to me. He knew that I grew up NOT on a farm with outdoors dogs, but in a cold and unloving 'family' where dogs were the only things that showed me affection and received mine. When you are in a partnership with another person whom you love and cherish, you sacrifice. But you gain so much more from those sacrifices. My husband gracefully acquiesced to my Dalmatian's presence, and they never saw eye to eye- but he's such an amazing person that he was able to value her because of the love her and I shared. Her value to him was huge, even though they didn't like each other. He cherished her because I loved her and she loved me. That's a pretty awesome man, and his selflessness taught me a lot about what it is to form a marriage-type partnership. It's about giving of yourself, and being fulfilled by fulfilling your partner's needs. Who wouldn't marry a guy like that?

Through his selfless actions, he was fulfilled. He let me get a golden puppy who became 'his'. Sonny opened his eyes to the unique bond that people have with dogs when they live closely with them. My selfless partner became consumed with Sonny, who gave back more than he ever received- although the poor thing did require a lot of upkeep with his allergies and skin infections. Sonny brought out some of our finest qualities as we gave everything we had over to caring for him. My then-boyfriend even insisted on getting a third dog so that Sonny wouldn't ever be alone when my Dalmatian passed. He also bought a brand new truck primarily because the back seat folded down better for the dogs, and bought a camping trailer so that we could take 'the boys' out every weekend. 

My Dalmatian has since passed. My husband's 'heart-dog' Sonny also passed at just 5 yrs old, a month after he was in our long-anticipated (by me anyways) wedding. At my husbands insistence, we have two Goldens still and always will. 
By opening himself up to the things that matter so much to me he not only was a better partner to me, but also discovered a part of himself that he'd never trade. He loves the hell out of 'our boys'. 

I hope you do give your girlfriend a link to this thread. I think there are lessons you both need to learn about being partners. You have to value what each other loves at least as much as you value what you yourself love. And you have to either follow the old adage "Love me, love my dog", or find Einstein a home where his parent will return the unwavering love and loyalty Einstein is giving. Then you need to commit to not getting another dog as it just isn't fair. They can't just be left separated from their family. 

I hope that this is merely a case of your GF not understanding or having really thought about what she's asking you to do. If you are a dog lover, it's going to be very hard for you to think of your Einstein as 'just a dog, babe'. I hope that you both are able to find common ground, where you don't have to lose an integral part of yourself to welcome her and her children to your home and life. Relationships are a constant compromise...but it can't be just one party dong all the compromising. 


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I am firmly in the camp of love me/love my critters! For me it would be a deal breaker as not having a dog isn't something I could live with.

However, I do think part of the problem is that it sounds like you got the dog after you'd already been dating and developed feeling for her? Did you not discuss this before you got Einstein?

I would also suggest taking to heart what people are saying about this being more than about just a dog.

Finally, whatever you do ultimately decide to do, it would be wrong (and I think you know it) to banish Einstein to the outdoors. 
I would suggest that the real choice is to keep Einstein as an inside dog that is part of the family unit or find him a home where he will be treated as a golden should be treated. You owe him that. Keeping him as an outside dog shouldn't even be part of the discussion. It is keep or rehome?


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## KeaColorado (Jan 2, 2013)

Zuca's mom said:


> I would caution you on just one thing. Please, please, please do not leave him unsupervised with the children. There are enough heartbreaking stories of children hurting dogs and dogs biting in self defense and the dog has to be euthanized.


You're gotten much great advice here. This, however, bears repeating. 

My husband did not grow up with dogs, however, our first dog joined us after we were married, so she was ours, and not just mine. He learned to love her and the one we adopted a few years later. He mourned with me when they passed away. When our golden puppy joined us, she became his little princess. It is now safe to say that he is officially a dog person, and that little girl has him wrapped around her paw. I couldn't imagine being married to someone who did not love dogs. We don't have kids, and our pets are our family. Good luck to you, and I hope it all works out. If it comes down to Einstein being left outside and not given the love and attention he needs, you will either need to decide to tell your GF to pack her bags or you will need to find Einstein a loving home.


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

If you truly love her....love him more and find him a home where the whole family loves him!


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## valibin (Jun 28, 2013)

Please find Einstein a loving home. Your GF, if she truly loved you, would also love Einstein. If you're considering giving him up, then do it. I, on the other hand would be considering giving her up. CORRECTION - she would already be history.


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## Heathhanly (Jan 10, 2013)

I think you already know where your heart lies, or you would not have started this thread in a Golden Retriever forum. We all love our Goldens and would never be happy with someone who would not care for our dogs as we do. You really want to keep your dog and have him inside, a part of your life. Everyone writing here is merely reinforcing the decision you have already made.

Good luck, I hope it works out in the best way for all of you- Einstein included


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## Kylie's Mom (Jun 23, 2013)

If it was my decision, Einstein stays in the house. However, it is up to you. If you love Einstein as much as the rest of us GR owners, you will not be able to put Einstein outside. Goldens are not outside dogs, they need to be with their family. If you have to choose, I would vote for Einstein……the GF and her children stay at their own place.


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## puddinhd58 (Jan 15, 2009)

My DH always said "No dogs on the bed or the furniture".....::


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## brianne (Feb 18, 2012)

Sorry to repeat things you have heard a couple dozen times already, but please give this some serious thought.

A long time ago I dated a man who hated my dog. My Spencer was an adorable, well-mannered (3 obedience titles and excellent house manners) boy who was sweet and friendly. Everyone who met him loved him EXCEPT my bf.

I thought I could win my bf over once he got to know Spencer, but it didn't happen. And this guy was a dog-lover who had his own dog! It turns out that he was jealous of anything that took my time away from him, including my dog. It destroyed our relationship and we parted ways.

I was determined not to make that mistake again. On my first date with a new guy, I introduced him to Spencer then excused myself to go into the kitchen. When I came back, he was sitting on the floor giving Spencer a belly-rub and baby talking to him! Spencer fell madly in love with him (me too!). We were married the next year and are still going strong 20 years later 

I agree that it might be a control issue with your gf, and that her kids could be your best allies if they fall in love with Einstein. If you decide to keep the gf and see that she's not treating Einstein with the love and care he deserves, I hope you re-home him.

Good luck and I hope things work out for all of you.


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## flykelley (Oct 15, 2011)

Thats an easy one, my wife started complaint about dog hair about six months after we got married. Now she knew I had two Goldens before we got married and knew they are part of the family which means they are inside dogs. She kept it up and one day I was in a bad mood and told her, look if you want me to chose between you or the dogs you won't like my choice. Now that didn't go over real well of course and I kinda felt bad but I meant it. If it was her or the dogs, she was the one going. Never complained again.

Mike


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

Interested to hear how the OP is going?


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## MrsKuhn (Aug 22, 2013)

How are things?


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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

To OP:
I couldn't read every single response, this thread was long... but I was in your boat (kinda). 

I got married to a man who lived with outside dogs, NEVER INSIDE! He threw the book at even the idea. Well, we had serious discussions because I have ways loved having inside pets. Through our discussions he said "I will trial run it" so I got a smaller breed, which was part of his stipulation. I got Roxy at 5-7 months and a whopping 10lbs. He didn't know how to take care of her or interact in humane ways so we worked on... no hitting her for peeing in the house, etc etc. I had to teach him those basic concepts. There were times where he threatened to give her back, trust me.

Skip forward a few months, he loved her. He loved having the companionship and watching her grow. I mentioned fistering... Well, then it turned into "If we got a big dog it would be outside. I would never have a big dog inside, EVER!" 

Now we foster dogs, we own a golden, and he helps me train them and love them all  big and small... they are all inside dogs! He is a changed man! Haha

There were compromises... The pups are never allowed on furniture  done deal

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## KeaColorado (Jan 2, 2013)

I apologize if this has already been mentioned, but I have seen breeders include language in contracts that the dog is not to be living outside. I don't know where you got Einstein, but you might want to check your contract if he is from a breeder so you can show your GF what you agreed to when you got him.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

Katduf said:


> Interested to hear how the OP is going?


She agreed to a trial of having him inside on weekends like I want. She already knows that him living outside is not an option and has from the start. 

To answer some other questions, I already mentioned I would give him up rather than him be outside in my original post. There is no contract with the breeder. 

She now tells me that her family had an indoor dog when she was young but thinks there will never be a dog like that again, lol. She also admitted to taking home a yellow lab with an injured back leg a few years ago with another BF, even though it was kept outside. So it at least sounds like I might have a chance of getting her to like Einstein if she really gives it a chance. I think she knows she has to but she still insists that animals and her don't get along in general. So the count-down in 6 months til she plans on moving in so we'll see.

Alex


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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Alex*



92GTA said:


> She agreed to a trial of having him inside on weekends like I want. She already knows that him living outside is not an option and has from the start.
> 
> To answer some other questions, I already mentioned I would give him up rather than him be outside in my original post. There is no contract with the breeder.
> 
> ...


ALEX

My dogs will always come first. She is moving in with you-you make the rules. Einstein was your buddy first. I would stand strong on this-Einstein lives inside.
She will get used to it and if she doesn't, I don't think you will want to be with her.


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## ArchersMom (May 22, 2013)

If you're going to love her kids she can love your dog. It's your fur baby.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

92GTA said:


> She agreed to a trial of having him inside on weekends like I want. She already knows that him living outside is not an option and has from the start.
> 
> To answer some other questions, I already mentioned I would give him up rather than him be outside in my original post. There is no contract with the breeder.
> 
> ...


Good luck to you! That sounds like maybe you will be able to work it out.


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## eleni (Oct 10, 2013)

> She now tells me that her family had an indoor dog when she was young but thinks there will never be a dog like that again, lol. She also admitted to taking home a yellow lab with an injured back leg a few years ago with another BF, even though it was kept outside. So it at least sounds like I might have a chance of getting her to like Einstein if she really gives it a chance. I think she knows she has to but she still insists that animals and her don't get along in general. So the count-down in 6 months til she plans on moving in so we'll see.


Well, you could always argue that kids and you don't get along in general. There are always exceptions - and goldens are a BIG one. I don't think many people would NOT get along with them. You can never know without trying, so as long as you are willing to live with her daughters she should really try her hardest to get to know and love Einstein in the next six months- not that it sounds very hard to me.


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## Dancer (Apr 5, 2010)

Truthfully, Alex, you're the one who is making the bigger concession here as far as compromises go. I'd be extremely reluctant to let someone I was dating move their children into my house. That's going to be pretty tough on you! But you're committed to the relationship and giving the 'next step' a try, so good on you. It's more than fair and reasonable of you to expect the partner who is moving into your home (or even if you were moving into a new place together) to commit to being a fellow dog-parent when you are essentially committing to co-parent her children from a previous relationship with her. Children are at least as messy and destructive as a puppy, but it lasts much longer. Einstein isn't going to throw a wild party at your house when your gone, have friends over that break, misuse and ruin your things, or steal alcohol from the liquor cabinet when he's 16 on a dare. The worst Einstein will do is where is shoes in the house- and the kids will try that as well. 

My hubby and I are happy to welcome friends to bring dogs over. But hosting friends with kids is something we try to avoid at all cost- I just hate the chaos, noise and mess! When someone does sneak a kid or two in, it's a real ordeal and as much as I may love the child and their parents, I'm always happy to see them leave! You're a real hero for welcoming your GF and her kids to your home, I couldn't do it. But it's extremely unreasonable for anyone to expect you to get rid of your family to make way for theirs, when both could live together happily. 


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## Sam Hill (Jan 20, 2012)

I know there are tons of feelings between all of you. But I'm going to tell you right now. Your dog will be there for you when everyone else isn't. I would not be with a woman that did not love animals. Caring for animals says everything about a persons character. I met my wife when my dog Sam had a wheelchair. 
Do not cohabitate with this person. And her kids are coming too? I mean this nicely. Rethink your situation. And I'll take your dog and give it a wonderful home if you think this woman is the only person in this world for you


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

Haha, very true about the kids lol.

My 2 boys are 14 and 10, her girls are 3 and 7, so it's not like this is my first rodeo with kids. I know what to expect and I do plan on using that as my last card in my deck, her kids for my dog. Her 7yr old already sneaks Einstein onto her bed in the morning when she stays with me on weekends while we are still in bed lol.


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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

She may be trying to be a little bossy at this point as a form of control for some insecurities and fear. Ok, I know that sounds like crazy jumbo but I am serious...

Her child loves him, she loved her childhood dog and has a heart for animals by rescuing that one lab.... 

Her comment about the dog may have been more her just trying to control and push boundaries... moving in is SCAREY to combine lives, that may have been her way of feeling like it was still more HER life as she has it now... Not that it was really a deal breaker, but just that it made her feel more in control in such a scarey situation.

I bet she will love having him inside on the weekends and come around shortly.



92GTA said:


> Haha, very true about the kids lol.
> 
> My 2 boys are 14 and 10, her girls are 3 and 7, so it's not like this is my first rodeo with kids. I know what to expect and I do plan on using that as my last card in my deck, her kids for my dog. Her 7yr old already sneaks Einstein onto her bed in the morning when she stays with me on weekends while we are still in bed lol.




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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

tine434 said:


> She may be trying to be a little bossy at this point as a form of control for some insecurities and fear. Ok, I know that sounds like crazy jumbo but I am serious...
> 
> Her child loves him, she loved her childhood dog and has a heart for animals by rescuing that one lab....
> 
> ...


The more I read this thread and the responses, the more I think this is true along with the more I talk to her on the dog subject. When I made this thread I was really looking for suggestions on how I can best acclimate her to the dog. I'm really surprised by how many people just say to dump her when they don't know her, I, or the situation. But at the same time I appreciate the unbiased outside opinion, it really does reinforce my resolve to stand my ground.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

92GTA said:


> The more I read this thread and the responses, the more I think this is true along with the more I talk to her on the dog subject. When I made this thread I was really looking for suggestions on how I can best acclimate her to the dog. I'm really surprised by how many people just say to dump her when they don't know her, I, or the situation. But at the same time I appreciate the unbiased outside opinion, it really does reinforce my resolve to stand my ground.


You can do things to make it smoother living with him, more baths, more cleaning, perhaps have a dog free area maybe your bedroom and bathroom, keep him off furniture, have dog beds and teach him to use them, we call it "go settle". One thing you really should do is make sure his training is solid, off means off, down means, down, he has learned not to jump on people, no begging or stealing food, etc. Sign him up for a training class and have her take it with him and do the training herself, it will create a bond and working relationship between them that nothing else will. She has to be willing to put in the effort too, it can't all be you and dog accommodating her.

Keep in mind, kids in the house will mean clothing and personal items down where he can get them, so the kids and her need to be responsible with their belongings and NOT blame the dog if they are where he can get them. 

Ultimately a dog is a dog, they bring in dirt, they shed ALOT, they are underfoot and want to be with you. She has to accept that for this to work.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

I think the training between her and the dog will be key. Honestly, he is a great dog, he learns well and I'm fairly strict already. I never even thinks about counters of tables, people food, doesn't get on furniture, doesn't chew things, etc. I brush him all the time and vacuum regularly. No carpet in my house helps allot, although she likes to walk barefoot in the house (I wear flip-flops or slippers) so shes extra sensitive to the dirt on the floor he tracks in on his feet. Honestly that and the smell are 2 of her issues and he transitioning to indoor only from a doggy door when she moves in will resolve both of those.

The one thing I need to work on is his excitement when they first show up on weekends. He tends to be jumpy and a little mouthy still with strangers. It's my fault I haven't socialized him more. It only lasts a few minutes but I also think I got through to her over the weekend that I can only train this out of him with the exposure and training. Keeping him outside when they are there will only make it worse and more habit forming to stay that way. 

So I think I'm getting through and have a pretty solid plan. Thanks again for everyone's comments and suggestions! I have read every single reply.

I also got her to agree to putting my billiard table in the dinning room and letting me make a 2-piece hardwood top so it doubles as the dinning table haha. She knows to stay out of my garage already lol. Baby steps, I don't wanna thrown down all of my *musts* right away or make them come across as absolute musts except for the dog which I think is going to work out in the end...


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

Einstein is adorable by the way....just want to give him hugs and kisses


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

jennretz said:


> Einstein is adorable by the way....just want to give him hugs and kisses


Thanks! How can anyone not love this face...

...and the 3rd pic is how he gets romping around in the backyard haha, even dirty he's too cute :doh:


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## Alaska7133 (May 26, 2011)

Definitely take him to lots of obedience classes. Exercise him before the kids come over so that he's worn out and not as wild when he sees them. Kids and goldens go together. If you can, ask your GF to come to the classes with the kids so that you all can find out more about how dogs think and react to situations. With my husband, he decided that no dogs in the bedroom. Which I have stuck to even when they look so sad at bedtime. So that was my compromise. But interestingly enough, my husband is the one that picks up the poop in the yard. So you never know. I would also take Einstein with you to various stores like Home Depot to help him experience lots of new people and things. If you GF and kids could come with you to Home Depot also, it could be a lot of fun. For my husband it was a huge adjustment having a dog in the house. He's given in on a lot. In return I've made sure the dogs are very well mannered and trained. Good luck to you all - 4 kids, 2 adults and one happy puppy!


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## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

I personally think that since she's not even moved in yet and won't be for awhile, that you should use this time to train and to help socialize Einstein with her. Whenever she is over, with her kids or not, I think that's a time for Einstein to come in and show her that he won't necessarily get in the way or whatever he concerns are with an indoor dog. It would certainly make that moving transition much easier when that day comes and by then Einstein will be as well adjusted as possible for that big day. 

She obviously has some experience with dogs and big dogs at that, so I got a feeling she'll cave in, especially if her daughters love Einstein. I certainly think Einstein would be that cherry on top to a happy household.


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## OutWest (Oct 6, 2011)

Just seeing this thread now and haven't read all the responses, but did want to add that not so long ago dogs were considered outdoor animals in most families. Times have changed, and people who still think that way can change also if given the opportunity to see how it can be successful. If you think your GF has a cold heart toward dogs, that's different. If she just hasn't seen them as housemates but is willing to try, then that's great. If she's going to be in the house with Einstein all day though you need to make sure she's really OK with him, and you need to make sure she's not stuck with all the work of cleaning up after him. Good luck! Einstein sure is a cutie.


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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

Oh! I have no carpet at all and love being barefoot also... and hate dog smells.... here is what I do.

I keep wet wipes (baby wipes) right inside the door. I also have a runner at the door, a nice long rug... so they walk in, I wipe any bad dirt off, and the runner catches a lot of dirt also... Just sweep it off the rug and out the door!

I keep lots of good smelling baby powder around also, puppy cologne, and dry shampoo..... So when it is time for daily brushing I add in whichever it calls for and Remi always smells great and my floors stay much cleaner! The more rugs the better for dirt catching, but the door runner is a must in our home lol



92GTA said:


> I think the training between her and the dog will be key. Honestly, he is a great dog, he learns well and I'm fairly strict already. I never even thinks about counters of tables, people food, doesn't get on furniture, doesn't chew things, etc. I brush him all the time and vacuum regularly. No carpet in my house helps allot, although she likes to walk barefoot in the house (I wear flip-flops or slippers) so shes extra sensitive to the dirt on the floor he tracks in on his feet. Honestly that and the smell are 2 of her issues and he transitioning to indoor only from a doggy door when she moves in will resolve both of those.




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## thorbreafortuna (Jun 9, 2013)

Given the new update you shared, I think that between you and those little girls (who will no doubt love Einstein) and Einstein's golden temperament your GF will be in team Einstein in no time. I feel hopeful about this situation all of a sudden. Best wishes to all of you.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

tine434 said:


> Oh! I have no carpet at all and love being barefoot also... and hate dog smells.... here is what I do.
> 
> I keep wet wipes (baby wipes) right inside the door. I also have a runner at the door, a nice long rug... so they walk in, I wipe any bad dirt off, and the runner catches a lot of dirt also... Just sweep it off the rug and out the door!
> 
> I keep lots of good smelling baby powder around also, puppy cologne, and dry shampoo..... So when it is time for daily brushing I add in whichever it calls for and Remi always smells great and my floors stay much cleaner! The more rugs the better for dirt catching, but the door runner is a must in our home lol


Awesome, thanks for those tips!

Here are some more pics of Einstein from a couple months ago with my 10yr old son to brighten up this thread a bit haha! I freakin love his giant puppy feet he still has goin' on right now lol!


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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

There is NO WAY she could take your children's buddy away! I mean, if she loves your family which I assume she does or you wouldn't be making the commitment.... Then if nothing else she will understand the love I see between those two. Definitely going to be OK.
That is soooooo stinkin cute!!! I don't have kids so I miss those cute moments 



92GTA said:


> Awesome, thanks for those tips!
> 
> Here are some more pics of Einstein from a couple months ago with my 10yr old son to brighten up this thread a bit haha! I freakin love his giant puppy feet he still has goin' on right now lol!




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## Karen519 (Aug 21, 2006)

*Einstein*



92GTA said:


> I think the training between her and the dog will be key. Honestly, he is a great dog, he learns well and I'm fairly strict already. I never even thinks about counters of tables, people food, doesn't get on furniture, doesn't chew things, etc. I brush him all the time and vacuum regularly. No carpet in my house helps allot, although she likes to walk barefoot in the house (I wear flip-flops or slippers) so shes extra sensitive to the dirt on the floor he tracks in on his feet. Honestly that and the smell are 2 of her issues and he transitioning to indoor only from a doggy door when she moves in will resolve both of those.
> 
> The one thing I need to work on is his excitement when they first show up on weekends. He tends to be jumpy and a little mouthy still with strangers. It's my fault I haven't socialized him more. It only lasts a few minutes but I also think I got through to her over the weekend that I can only train this out of him with the exposure and training. Keeping him outside when they are there will only make it worse and more habit forming to stay that way.
> 
> ...


I agree with the person that said they could not be with someone who didn't love their dog. That said, here is a pointer to keep Einstein from jumping up on people excitedly. Take and empty plastic soda bottle, 9 or 12 0z. and fill it one quarter of the way with pennies. Take it to the door with you, when the bell rings, and anytime you will encounter people. When Einstein goes to jump up to greet people, give it a few good quick shakes. This will startle him and he will stop the jumping. Tell him to sit and when he does heap lots of praise on him and give him a treat. Be sure to be consistent with him and do this whenever he jumps on. this distracts the dog from the bad behavior. It really works! We got this instruction from a dog trainer.


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

Both Einstein and your son are adorable.


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## ktkins7 (Jul 20, 2013)

Karen519 said:


> I agree with the person that said they could not be with someone who didn't love their dog. That said, here is a pointer to keep Einstein from jumping up on people excitedly. Take and empty plastic soda bottle, 9 or 12 0z. and fill it one quarter of the way with pennies. Take it to the door with you, when the bell rings, and anytime you will encounter people. When Einstein goes to jump up to greet people, give it a few good quick shakes. This will startle him and he will stop the jumping. Tell him to sit and when he does heap lots of praise on him and give him a treat. Be sure to be consistent with him and do this whenever he jumps on. this distracts the dog from the bad behavior. It really works! We got this instruction from a dog trainer.


You can also use a metal coffee can with coins inside of it. 

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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

Your son is beautiful. 
He and Einstein are beautiful together. 
To break Einstein's heart and maybe yours in bad enough by banishing him outdoors. But please, do not separate your sweet, dear son from his canine companion. Dogs fill greater voids in our lives than we imagine. That goes for children especially.


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## Capt Jack (Dec 29, 2011)

Anyone who says it's " Just a dog" is just a GF. If she doesn't understand that dogs are part of a family she wouldn't be part of mine. Sorry to be so to the point but that's just me. Good luck.


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## Ripley16 (Jan 26, 2012)

I honestly would never subject a golden to being an outdoor dog. Ripley is maybe outdoors for a grand total of 2 hours every day including her walks (1 hr every day). That extra hour is when she is using the bathroom and playing outside. Some days if the weather is bad, she might be out for just a few mins here and there to go to the bathroom, and a very hurried walk!  But they are such social creatures, I could not fathom leaving her outside for extended periods of the day.

I think your girlfriend needs to understand that your dog is as much a member of the household as she is, or her children are. The dog should be a staple family member. I don't think that a man or woman who would force you to get rid of your dog for her just because she dosen't like it in the house is not someone who I would EVER be involved with. Not just because of the dogs well being, but also for the sake of the relationship. It is obviously a one sided relationship if she is given this much power over what you can and cannot do or have. A dog is a minor issue, and yes, sometimes they smell or are annoying, but that is really just a very slight issue, and should be able to be overlooked. The benefits of a dog much outweigh the negatives. I would put my foot down and tell her that the dog stays and if she dosen't like it, she can go!


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

I'd tell her you're fine with the dog staying outside if her daughters will, too.

Hey, I weed 'em out quick!


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## BajaOklahoma (Sep 27, 2009)

The coins have nothing for my dogs - I think they like the noise.

You can make training Einstein a bonding time with Einstein and the girls. We use wait and stay commands. Wait you can release from across the room and for stay you have to return to the dog before releasing. Settle and place are also good commands to teach.

Good luck and keep it up.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

You might invest in a Roomba vacuum to run automatically, it will help keep the floors clean.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

mylissyk said:


> You might invest in a Roomba vacuum to run automatically, it will help keep the floors clean.


Omg lol, I bet I would remote into it's web cam from work and see Einstein chasing and playing with it incessantly haha! I can just imagine how hilarious that would be considering how he gets excited and plays with my vacuum now lol. Like those remote control pets you can play with your pet while at work lmao!

I like the suggestion tho, the visual that just popped into my mind was awesome


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## Sam Hill (Jan 20, 2012)

You should not have to force the issue with your dogs. You can help the situation by acclimating her to your dogs by telling her to sit and stay where she is at.
You are absolutely right. I don't know this woman but this chick must be really good in bed for you even to consider moving forward with this relationship. Because I could not and would not be with a person that didn't like dogs or respect me enough to accept my dog into her life. Just curious , did you happen to lay down any demands on her? Like things she couldn't watch on TV or areas do the house her kids couldn't go? 
Get all the nookie while you can because you aren't going to be with her for long. Unless you surgically have the rest of your spine removed. Sorry my friend . Your post really lights me up. Probably for the fact that goldens are such loving and trusting creatures and you are a human that doesn't deserve the companionship of one. I think maybe you should give your dogs to a rescue and go for a June wedding . I'll take your dogs and my wife and I will give them a better home than you ever could.
I see these post saying sorry you are going through this. You poor guy. Does anyone here realize you are not a victim? You choose to date her. You think she loves you? Think again. Would anyone that loved another person I mean really loved them ask them to take thier dogs from thier home and put them out side? She loves your house and the security. I'm not being mean for the sake of being mean. Your girl friend is doing that . You honest to God sicken me. If I get kicked from this forum by sharing my opinion then so be it. I will not sugar coat my words when I am defending an animal that cant defend itself . The fact you can make this post asking for advice of your situation at all makes me question if you really care for your dogs a fraction of what other good members here care for thier dogs. Every time i go back over my words to dial it back some i go back to your pics of these sweet dogs and i cant find anything to soften. I see the happy faces in your pictures on the people and the dogs and I get even more heated when I see how beautiful the dogs are and how happy the people are around them. Do you have to teach a person that is a good thing? Or are 
they just hairy creatures that smell , mess the house up ( your house up) and poop to her? 
Again, I'm not picking on you. You asked for advice. Mine is to give your dogs to someone that won't sell them out . No dog golden or not deserves nothing but a loving owner that dedicates thier heart to them as much as the dog give thier heart to their owner.


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## OutWest (Oct 6, 2011)

Sam Hill said:


> You should not have to force the issue with your dogs. You can help the situation by acclimating her to your dogs by telling her to sit and stay where she is at.
> You are absolutely right. I don't know this woman but this chick must be really good in bed for you even to consider moving forward with this relationship. Because I could not and would not be with a person that didn't like dogs or respect me enough to accept my dog into her life. Just curious , did you happen to lay down any demands on her? Like things she couldn't watch on TV or areas do the house her kids couldn't go?
> Get all the nookie while you can because you aren't going to be with her for long. Unless you surgically have the rest of your spine removed. Sorry my friend . Your post really lights me up. Probably for the fact that goldens are such loving and trusting creatures and you are a human that doesn't deserve the companionship of one. I think maybe you should give your dogs to a rescue and go for a June wedding . I'll take your dogs and my wife and I will give them a better home than you ever could.
> I see these post saying sorry you are going through this. You poor guy. Does anyone here realize you are not a victim? You choose to date her. You think she loves you? Think again. Would anyone that loved another person I mean really loved them ask them to take thier dogs from thier home and put them out side? She loves your house and the security. I'm not being mean for the sake of being mean. Your girl friend is doing that . You honest to God sicken me. If I get kicked from this forum by sharing my opinion then so be it. I will not sugar coat my words when I am defending an animal that cant defend itself . The fact you can make this post asking for advice of your situation at all makes me question if you really care for your dogs a fraction of what other good members here care for thier dogs. Every time i go back over my words to dial it back some i go back to your pics of these sweet dogs and i cant find anything to soften. I see the happy faces in your pictures on the people and the dogs and I get even more heated when I see how beautiful the dogs are and how happy the people are around them. Do you have to teach a person that is a good thing? Or are
> ...


The man asked for input on the relationship between his GF and his dog, hoping to make it all work. He didn't ask anyone to speak disrespectfully about his GF or about himself. It is possible to share your opinion without mowing the listener down, which is what your overly strong language accomplishes here.


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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

I feel like the OP was wildly misunderstood by that poster's response.... and maybe the whole thread and all of the OP's positive responses and explanations were not read.

Because I feel that was a bit unneeded, the OP has been positive, upbeat, and very much willing to stand his ground and work hard in this situation. As his gf has been willing to test out weekends and has disclosed more "willingness" as well. And it was even mentioned about her just being more scared than anything.

Again, just my observations....


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## DieselDog (Oct 16, 2012)

I'd put her outside... Your dog (and you) deserves better. 
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## Heart O'Gold (Jul 31, 2012)

You have certainly gotten a lot of advice and opinions regarding your situation. All I can add is that I'm firmly in Camp Einstein. I recommend that you buy this book for your girlfriend for Christmas "A Big Little Life" by Dean Koontz. It's not like his other work, but a heartfelt tribute to his beautiful GR Trixie. It truly touches the soul.


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## Dancer (Apr 5, 2010)

Heart O'Gold said:


> You have certainly gotten a lot of advice and opinions regarding your situation. All I can add is that I'm firmly in Camp Einstein. I recommend that you buy this book for your girlfriend for Christmas "A Big Little Life" by Dean Koontz. It's not like his other work, but a heartfelt tribute to his beautiful GR Trixie. It truly touches the soul.


I think I may just pick that up as well, thanks!


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## FAL guy (Jun 11, 2012)

I would dump her.


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## Dancer (Apr 5, 2010)

Sam Hill said:


> You should not have to force the issue with your dogs. You can help the situation by acclimating her to your dogs by telling her to sit and stay where she is at.
> You are absolutely right. I don't know this woman but this chick must be really good in bed for you even to consider moving forward with this relationship. Because I could not and would not be with a person that didn't like dogs or respect me enough to accept my dog into her life. Just curious , did you happen to lay down any demands on her? Like things she couldn't watch on TV or areas do the house her kids couldn't go?
> Get all the nookie while you can because you aren't going to be with her for long. Unless you surgically have the rest of your spine removed. Sorry my friend . Your post really lights me up. Probably for the fact that goldens are such loving and trusting creatures and you are a human that doesn't deserve the companionship of one. I think maybe you should give your dogs to a rescue and go for a June wedding . I'll take your dogs and my wife and I will give them a better home than you ever could.
> I see these post saying sorry you are going through this. You poor guy. Does anyone here realize you are not a victim? You choose to date her. You think she loves you? Think again. Would anyone that loved another person I mean really loved them ask them to take thier dogs from thier home and put them out side? She loves your house and the security. I'm not being mean for the sake of being mean. Your girl friend is doing that . You honest to God sicken me. If I get kicked from this forum by sharing my opinion then so be it. I will not sugar coat my words when I am defending an animal that cant defend itself . The fact you can make this post asking for advice of your situation at all makes me question if you really care for your dogs a fraction of what other good members here care for thier dogs. Every time i go back over my words to dial it back some i go back to your pics of these sweet dogs and i cant find anything to soften. I see the happy faces in your pictures on the people and the dogs and I get even more heated when I see how beautiful the dogs are and how happy the people are around them. Do you have to teach a person that is a good thing? Or are
> ...


YOUR post really 'lights me up'. If you get ' kicked from this forum' it won't be for sharing your opinion, it'll be for doing it in an extremely rude and disrespectful way. I NEVER want to hear anyone comment on someone else's life, spouse, values, or relationship in this way- EVER. You are out of line and owe the OP and anyone else who mistakenly read that an apology. That is completely unacceptable and not helpful to the OP at all. It's also not helpful to the forum's overall purpose of promoting education and respectful discussion. 

I respect that you are passionate about Goldens. We all are. But don't prove it by being incredibly disrespectful to someone. That doesn't help the dog either, which is the ultimate goal. 


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Hi Alex

I am so sorry this guy posted so horribly to you and your family. Usually this forum is better, actually you can see that by how self policing it is. I love this place because it is safe. Safe to reach out with questions, bounce ideas around, and even make mistakes. We usually are able to do these things without facing such vociferous attacks as you have seen. People are passionate and have strong opinions about GR's here and will speak out, but this guy owes you an apology and I hope he does.

Merry christmas

I wish the best for you and your family and especially your pup.

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## Buddy's mom forever (Jun 23, 2011)

Who ever tells me "It is just a dog" for me is not open minded person if doesn't have any experience with dogs, someone who doesn't appreciate what is valuable to others or selfishly thinks that human race is above all. I had two ladies I was getting along really well until the moment I lost my Buddy and they laughed into my face when I was crying saying "I can't believe you are crying because you lost a dog." I don't see them any more. We love our dogs and we are very passionate about them. It is hard to list any legitimate reason to ditch a dog you love so much just because...


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## Pudden (Dec 28, 2008)

92GTA said:


> I'm really surprised by how many people just say to dump her when they don't know her, I, or the situation.


well, fair enough - but we're going on what you told us about your GF and the situation, and you used the word "cold-hearted" to describe her. Most advice to dump her was probably triggered by that one word.....I mean, who'd want a cold-hearted person in their life, like, ever?


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## sdhgolden (Aug 13, 2012)

Buddy's mom forever said:


> Who ever tells me "It is just a dog" for me is not open minded person if doesn't have any experience with dogs, someone who doesn't appreciate what is valuable to others or selfishly thinks that human race is above all. I had two ladies I was getting along really well until the moment I lost my Buddy and they laughed into my face when I was crying saying "I can't believe you are crying because you lost a dog." I don't see them any more. We love our dogs and we are very passionate about them. It is hard to list any legitimate reason to ditch a dog you love so much just because...


I'm sorry but this is sad!! I'm so sorry you had experience people you thought were close to disrespect you like that! 


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## Heathhanly (Jan 10, 2013)

Einstein is beautiful - how could anyone look in those eyes and not love him ! 
You also need to think of your son in this equation, how could you explain to him that you sent away the dog he loves because your GF didn't want the dog - not a good start to his relationship with your GF.


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

92GTA said:


> Omg lol, I bet I would remote into it's web cam from work and see Einstein chasing and playing with it incessantly haha! I can just imagine how hilarious that would be considering how he gets excited and plays with my vacuum now lol. Like those remote control pets you can play with your pet while at work lmao!
> 
> I like the suggestion tho, the visual that just popped into my mind was awesome


Oh my gosh ROFL!!!! If you get one and he plays with it like that, you HAVE to put a camera on it!


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## bioteach (Nov 13, 2010)

Sorry to chime in late, but I have been busy giving finals so I just logged into this thread. My husband and I have been married almost 47 years and people seek our advice for our "secret" of such a long and loving relationship. We are the envy of our friends. Why is this so? Because we respect each other but most importantly we have similar values. 

You and your GF are headed for a big heartache if you aren't on the same page on an issue such as this. I'm sure that she has many fine attributes that have attracted you to her, but you will grieve for Einstein for the rest of your life - long after the passion is gone. There are many warm and loving women out there who adore dogs and would give everything to have both of you in their lives. 

Your current GF will control you and force you to live by her rules. For both of your sakes, this is not the best way to share your lives with each other. If you are open to advice, please remember that to Einstein you are his world. He trusts you to be his human forever and to do right by him. 

Explain to your GF that you are already "taken" and give her the chance to find a man who shares her dislikes. You will all be happier in the end.


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## Jess82 (Apr 6, 2013)

If you decide you want to stay with someone who will not accept your dog I think it's best you find another home for him. It would be unfair and potentially cruel to keep him in a house where he is not wanted.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

Jess82 said:


> If you decide you want to stay with someone who will not accept your dog I think it's best you find another home for him. It would be unfair and potentially cruel to keep him in a house where he is not wanted.


Thanks but I addressed this in my initial post.


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Do you have an update for us? How are things going and what is your plan?


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Oh for goodness sake if this thread comes up one more time I am going to vomit.

Keep dog, lose girl. Freakin' no brainier to me.

Young love can hurt, been there done that. As an elder to you my friend, bail.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

Well I'm going to be 34 next week and I'm single now, but most importantly Einstein and I don't have to worry about a person who's heartless to animals coming between us.

Thanks for the advice everyone, it did make a difference. 

...now I'll let Einstein bury the engagement ring she'll never see :doh:

Alex


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

92GTA said:


> Well I'm going to be 34 next week and I'm single now, but most importantly Einstein and I don't have to worry about a person who's heartless to animals coming between us.
> 
> Thanks for the advice everyone, it did make a difference.
> 
> ...


Your heart hurts now, and for that I'm truly sorry
But you made the best choice for everyone
Somewhere out there is a wonderful person waiting for you - someone who will love every part of you, and every part of your life - including Einstein
Wishing you the best


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## Belle's Mom (Jan 24, 2007)

Thanks for the update. 

I know it hurts now, but I agree you made the right decision. I firmly believe you will meet someone who loves every part of you and your life which includes Einstein. This person will be right for you and Einstein and how wonderful and well deserved will that be for both of you. However, I know that does not make the present heartbreak any less at the moment.

You and Einstein take care of each other.


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## Katduf (Mar 10, 2013)

Thanks for the update, you sound like one of those rare good guys. Hugs to Einstein.


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## Heart O'Gold (Jul 31, 2012)

Hugs to you and Einstein, wishing you both a very Happy and Healthy New Year!!


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## MercyMom (Dec 19, 2011)

I wish you and Einstein the best luck as well. Good luck in your endeavors.


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

GoldenCamper said:


> Oh for goodness sake if this thread comes up one more time I am going to vomit.
> 
> Keep dog, lose girl. Freakin' no brainier to me.
> 
> Young love can hurt, been there done that. As an elder to you my friend, bail.


OMG how do you really feel? Please don't hold back. While I laughed out loud when I read your response, I have to say were I the one going through the relationship woes, I know I would be suffering. 

Perhaps we could be a little kinder?


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## Lennap (Jul 9, 2010)

92GTA said:


> Well I'm going to be 34 next week and I'm single now, but most importantly Einstein and I don't have to worry about a person who's heartless to animals coming between us.
> 
> Thanks for the advice everyone, it did make a difference.
> 
> ...


Alex -

You are such a good guy - and those are very, very rare. Unfortunately cold hearted women seem to be a dime a dozen - I've never understood why men go ga ga for them.

You did the right thing for everyone, you, Einstein as well as your ex and her kids. You deserve someone as wonderful as you are! I know that sounds trite, but it is heartfelt.

Don't let him bury the ring, go get your money back and put the money away for when you find Miss Right - not miss right now.

Hugs


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## Doug (Jul 17, 2010)

I am so sorry that things did not work out the way that you wanted it to, but everyone is right it hurts now but you will be so glad in the long run. 

This post came to mind as soon as I saw your message, 
Don't lose hope. You never know what tomorrow will bring. | QUOTES

You deserve someone with a kind and generous heart. 
Give Einstein a big hug from us look into his sparking eyes and know that you did the right thing. 
We wish you the very best of luck now that you have more room for positive energy to enter your life.


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## GoldenCamper (Dec 21, 2009)

Lennap said:


> OMG how do you really feel? Please don't hold back. While I laughed out loud when I read your response, I have to say were I the one going through the relationship woes, I know I would be suffering.
> 
> Perhaps we could be a little kinder?


In my mind I did commiserate with Alex when I wrote "young love can hurt, been there done that"

Yep, it stinks, but good for him. He just became a stronger man and built some character IMO.

You will find the right gal someday Alex. I would still make your buddies take you to a strip club and have a few beers though


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## Vhuynh2 (Feb 13, 2012)

I'm so sorry, the end of a relationship is never easy.. I'm so happy you did the right thing for Einstein, and yourself.


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## Elisabeth Kazup (Aug 23, 2008)

Sounds like the negotiating didn't go well and he had to choose. I think he chose right. There are more women who don't mind dogs in the house than there are women who won't have a dog in the house.

Sorry it worked out this way but better now than later. And I'm glad for her daughters that she didn't move in, let them get all settled and then get uprooted again and loose another 'dad'. This really is better for every one.


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## Zuca's mom (Aug 14, 2012)

For what it's worth, I am sorry it didn't work out. You are a good hearted guy and there is a sweet, animal loving girl out there just for you. When you go looking again, make sure she passes the Einstein test. Also make sure she doesn't pretend to like him just to get you. Make her spend lots of time with both of you and the true her is bound to show up. Then you will know and you can truly be happy. In the meantime, spend lots of training time with him and he will be sure to make you proud. Who knows, you might even meet your true love in an obedience class! I'm sorry if I ever said anything to offend you. You and Einstein deserve to be loved truly.


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## olliversmom (Mar 13, 2013)

Sorry it didn't work out. 
Bring Einstein to classes and dog parks. 
It is my experience there are lots of single dog lovers at both places.
Best of luck.


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## Swampcollie (Sep 6, 2007)

92GTA said:


> Einstein is barely 6 months now, in another 6 months my GF and her 2 daughters will be moving in with me. All seems great except....
> 
> She's really cold hearted when it comes to dogs. Her family always had outdoor only dogs kept in cages for like hunting, not as a pet/member of the family. Shes fine with an indoor cat tho that poops in the house in a box, go figure lol.


 
Kick the girlfriend to the curb right now. 

Views toward dogs have caused more failed relationships and divorces than you can imagine. You're not compatible as a couple and never will be. Time to move on.


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## laprincessa (Mar 24, 2008)

Swampcollie said:


> Kick the girlfriend to the curb right now.
> 
> Views toward dogs have caused more failed relationships and divorces than you can imagine. You're not compatible as a couple and never will be. Time to move on.


He apparently did.


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## Jennifer1 (Mar 31, 2012)

I'm very sorry that you had to go through this.
In 5 years you will look back on this and consider yourself lucky that it ended this way. Hopefully with a woman who loves you for who you are and doesn't expect you to change who you are to fit into her lifestyle. I know this started over "a dog" but I agree with others that it was really about so much more.


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## ShadowGolden (Sep 4, 2012)

92GTA said:


> Well I'm going to be 34 next week and I'm single now, but most importantly Einstein and I don't have to worry about a person who's heartless to animals coming between us.
> 
> Thanks for the advice everyone, it did make a difference.
> 
> ...


Just don't let him eat it. 

Seriously though, I know it hurts now, but in the end - it opens the door for someone who will love Einstein just as much as you do - and love you. That should always be a package-deal. 

Hang in there - and in the meantime, I'm sure Einstein is available for golden snuggles - they are the best medicine.


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## jennretz (Jul 24, 2013)

hang in there, it sounds like you had to make a tough decision.


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## anguilla1980 (Aug 13, 2013)

It's funny because just a little bit ago I was at the car wash vacuuming out copious amounts of golden hair and I couldn't help thinking that while she only thought of the hair in the car as an irritation and a mess, I thought of it as good memories from time well spent with Einstein and my 2 sons. Her loss  We spent about 6hrs trekking thru the forest and romping around over 4 different stops. She was of course no where to be seen.


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## Claudia M (Aug 8, 2012)

My DH's EX made the comment one time that she only liked puppies but she detested the adult and older sicker dogs. She very shortly became an EX. Mine and DH's luckiest day of our lives, her leaving behind two older and sick dogs. I hope to think that it was also their bets time of their lives. I miss them both, even though we have two girls now there is not a moment I do not think of them. Every morning the ritual is to go by their graveyards and say Hello!


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## lhowemt (Jun 28, 2013)

Aw big hugs to you. Best wishes for happiness for the 3 of you, the right person is out there!

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## tine434 (Nov 24, 2013)

That is more than just an animal issue described in her thinking...
That's a life issue... looking at things negatively instead of in the light of opportunity and optimism 



92GTA said:


> It's funny because just a little bit ago I was at the car wash vacuuming out copious amounts of golden hair and I couldn't help thinking that while she only thought of the hair in the car as an irritation and a mess, I thought of it as good memories from time well spent with Einstein and my 2 sons. Her loss  We spent about 6hrs trekking thru the forest and romping around over 4 different stops. She was of course no where to be seen.




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## thorbreafortuna (Jun 9, 2013)

Best wishes, and kudos to you for being gutsy enough to make a tough call like this one. I see it not only as you sticking by Einstein but most importantly as being true to who you really are. Life's too short for anything else. 


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## DanaRuns (Sep 29, 2012)

FWIW, the fact that you made the choice for Einstein makes you a very attractive man, in my book.* 

*_Except that I'm old enough to be your mother, and I like women, but I'm sincere about the sentiment!  _


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## dezymond (May 3, 2012)

Sorry to hear things didn't work out. Compromises must be made in a relationship no matter how "compatible" you are with the other person, but this issue seemed to be too big of a divide. 

Hurts now, but you'll find someone to care for in the future. And I'm sure that person will love Einstein just as much as you


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## bioteach (Nov 13, 2010)

It's been a while since I last posted on this thread and I have just realized that you and your GF are no longer a couple. I know that you had feelings for her and her children, but it was clear that your relationship was not meant to be.

The fact that you had enough doubts to post in the first place convinces me that you love Einstein and are mature enough to set priorities that are meaningful and important. The fact that you are open minded enough to hear and respect advice from people that you have never met shows me that you are wise and confident. 

You are a good person - Einstein is one lucky pup! My very best to both of you in the upcoming new year.


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## OutWest (Oct 6, 2011)

I'm really sorry. Many times couples can get past these hurdles but I guess this wasn't one of those times. I'm always hopeful that people who have been raised to view dogs as "just a dog" are open to learning and falling in love with the right one. Was hoping Einstein would be just that dog for your ex-GF. BEST WISHES TO YOU. I HOPE EINSTEIN'S ANTICS ANDWAGS HELP YOU MEND QUICKLY AND GET YOU BACK OUT THERE. (Oops sorry for all the caps)


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## maggiesmommy (Feb 23, 2010)

DanaRuns said:


> FWIW, the fact that you made the choice for Einstein makes you a very attractive man, in my book.*
> 
> *_Except that I'm old enough to be your mother, and I like women, but I'm sincere about the sentiment!  _


I agree (and I am around your age and like dudes  ) When I was still dating, I only dated guys who had that kind of bond with their pets...trust me, you will have no problem finding someone who will love Einstein as much as you do.


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## murphy1 (Jun 21, 2012)

You'll find your soul mate....and that person will love animals as you do!!!!!


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## desilu (Nov 2, 2006)

I am sorry you are going through a bit of a heartbreak right now. Thank goodness for your friend Einstein to help you through it. Be well.


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## Shellbug (Nov 14, 2013)

There is a dog lady out there for you  you will be posting in the future for best advice on how to get yours and hers dogs acclimated  I hope to be around to see it. Good luck. You are one of the good guys out there. Einstein is a very lucky baby to have you. 


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## Jessie'sGirl (Aug 30, 2010)

You are the same age as my oldest son. I hope you have family and friends to help you through this. Even though she wasn't the right one for you, I'm sure it hurts. Sending you a little motherly hug.


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## rooroch (Nov 7, 2012)

Well done. I left my husband after 20 years as he would not let me have my dogs in the house. He built and paid for very luxurious kennels (under floor heating, huge runs, etc.) but I finally took the plunge and left with dogs. The first thing I did after moving into a dog friendly old farm house was buy a huge bed and sleep with all the dogs on it!! Fantastic. Never regretted my decision made over 20 years ago.


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## goldlover68 (Jun 17, 2013)

*I'm a firm believer in living with someone for at least a year before getting serious like marriage.[/QUOTE]
*
Us guys usually feel that way, why buy the cow, when you can get the milk free?...

Generally I am amazed...you need to 'Man-up' As Judge Judy frequently tells people in court..."you won't remember what she (he) looks like in 5 years"

How many in your past can you say that about now? I bet their are some...

Regardless, if she is worth her salt, she will accept you dog and leave her cats with her last boy friend!


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