# 3 years old golden(female) with aggression(biting) against me



## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

It has been 5 months since I lived with the 3 years old golden(female). Before we brought our golden, my golden lived in my husband’s parents house(she could not enter the room and lived only in the yard). Our golden have had some problems. Since my golden was 1 year old, she used to bite her people(family) when we did somethings she didn’t like, such as taking something out of her mouth, washing her foot, touching her hip, and brushing her fur.. her aggression got worse and worse, so I and my husband ended up bringing our house(she lives indoors with us). About a month after coming to my house, when my husband was washing her paws, my golden bit my husband.. and two days later, I found something like cotton around my golden’s mouth, and reached out to removed it. Then she bit and worry my hand..my hands were injured. In fact, this time we so panicked and yelled at our golden(now we know we shouldn’t).. After that, about 4 months have passed since my golden bite me, last week, my golden was sleeping next to me and I was petting my golden’s belly..Then unconsciously..I moved her foot(paw), and suddenly my golden tried to bite my hand. But this time, for some reason, my hand just went in and out of my golden’s mouth, so my hand didn’t hurt. I wonder if I can contined to live with my golden if I have a baby. Could training make her a non-aggressive dog? Any advice from your experience or training is needed for us.. We went to training classes about 2 times, and we’re currently doing walk control training. And our golden are afraid of external stimuli and have poor sociality with other dogs.


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## Ffcmm (May 4, 2016)

So sorry you are going through this. Have any medical issues beven ruled out? When you mentioned she tries to bite if you touch her hip, the first thing that came to mind was perhaps pain in that area.

Instead of forcefully taking things out of her mouth, have you tried trading for a high value treat? training can absolutely help, but requires dedication from every member of your family, and in some cases it is more of managing her behaviour vs resolving all issues. You’ll have to be realistic and know that it is not a quick fix situation as well.. I’d say your best bet is to reach out to a dog behaviourist, and start some private lessons to teach you how to understand and communicate better with her, and read her cues. The fact that when you shifted her paw, and she didn’t truly bite you, is a good sign, she might have just been startled even- if she had wanted to she could have easily left you some serious puncture wounds. Work with a good trainer and learn her triggers and desensitise her to them. 

Bumping up as well, hopefully more members chip in soon with advice!


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## nolefan (Nov 6, 2009)

I'm sorry, but if your Golden bit you badly enough to injure your hand, you have a very serious problem. If you have access to a very knowledgeable dog trainer, you might try to work with her but it would take time and patience and you will never be able to fully trust her around children. Sadly, the best decision for your family may be to euthanize her. It is so sad, but your first responsibility is to make sure she never harms a child.


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## green branch (Oct 24, 2020)

This is a very hard situation to be and giving you advice is not easy. I don't know enough about your circumstances and experience with dogs. 

Dogs have their needs and perception of the world that you have to be familiar with. You need to build a relationship based on trust with her. She needs to be taught that you are the one who will give her directions. She also needs to be given outlets for her energy. Spend time training her, playing with her, going for walks, taking her swimming, and so on. She might not like to be touched, which is perfectly acceptable in the dogs' world, but she has to learn to accept it when living with humans. In the meantime, you will have to manage her so that she doesn't bite again. It is hard, but people succeed, in most cases, if they are determined. 

A long time ago I was an inexperienced owner, and have learned from my mistakes. I am still far away from being an expert. There are so many resources nowadays on the internet to learn from. In the retriever world, Bill Hillman is a well-known trainer in the fieldwork, but he has videos about raising a dog and building a relationship with them. There are also many others outside of the retriever world. 

If you are having a baby or are expecting one, you might not have the time needed to work with this dog. In that case, there might be someone else who would be willing to give this dog a chance. Good luck!


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## unpublishable (Dec 29, 2021)

I agree with what some others have said: professional intervention is really needed. If you can’t afford one, it may be beneficial for a rescue to take her such that they can devote their energy to rehabilitation. there are just so many risks.


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

Bumping up as well, hopefully more members chip in soon with advice!
[/QUOTE]
Thank you for your kindness advice. Our vet said my golden has no medical issues. And we tried trading with my golden to taking things out of her mouth. We know it’ll take a long time to make her ‘no aggression dog’. But every time she try to attack us again, I’m so frustrated. We’re training our golden with trainer, and we hope things get better. More than anything else, I’m afraid my golden will harm my baby. In the future, when I have a baby, I keep my golden and the baby away. We wish we always with the rest of my golden’s life..


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

Ffcmm said:


> So sorry you are going through this. Have any medical issues beven ruled out? When you mentioned she tries to bite if you touch her hip, the first thing that came to mind was perhaps pain in that area.
> 
> Instead of forcefully taking things out of her mouth, have you tried trading for a high value treat? training can absolutely help, but requires dedication from every member of your family, and in some cases it is more of managing her behaviour vs resolving all issues. You’ll have to be realistic and know that it is not a quick fix situation as well.. I’d say your best bet is to reach out to a dog behaviourist, and start some private lessons to teach you how to understand and communicate better with her, and read her cues. The fact that when you shifted her paw, and she didn’t truly bite you, is a good sign, she might have just been startled even- if she had wanted to she could have easily left you some serious puncture wounds. Work with a good trainer and learn her triggers and desensitise her to them.
> 
> Bumping up as well, hopefully more members chip in soon with advice!


Thank you for your kindness advice. Our vet said my golden has no medical issues. And we tried trading with my golden to taking things out of her mouth. We know it’ll take a long time to make her ‘no aggression dog’. But every time she try to attack us again, I’m so frustrated. We’re training our golden with trainer, and we hope things get better. More than anything else, I’m afraid my golden will harm my baby. In the future, when I have a baby, I keep my golden and the baby away. We wish we always with the rest of my golden’s life..


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

unpublishable said:


> I agree with what some others have said: professional intervention is really needed. If you can’t afford one, it may be beneficial for a rescue to take her such that they can devote their energy to rehabilitation. there are just so many risks.


It' really unfortunate, there is no rescue team for having a problem dogs like your country. Our country has a very poor system for the dog issues..I believe this will get better..So I'm getting advice from the most famous trainer in my country on this matter, and I'm learning to control my golden's behavior little by little.


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

green branch said:


> This is a very hard situation to be and giving you advice is not easy. I don't know enough about your circumstances and experience with dogs.
> 
> Dogs have their needs and perception of the world that you have to be familiar with. You need to build a relationship based on trust with her. She needs to be taught that you are the one who will give her directions. She also needs to be given outlets for her energy. Spend time training her, playing with her, going for walks, taking her swimming, and so on. She might not like to be touched, which is perfectly acceptable in the dogs' world, but she has to learn to accept it when living with humans. In the meantime, you will have to manage her so that she doesn't bite again. It is hard, but people succeed, in most cases, if they are determined.
> 
> ...


Are you saying this dog can't be with a baby? We'll try to keep this dog away if I have a baby. But I'm afraid my golden will hurt my baby..and I'm not sure if we can keep it together.. We are now providing my golden with plenty of walks and activities.


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## Ffcmm (May 4, 2016)

Realistically, it might be a situation where you will always have to be managing her and ensuring you do not trigger her aggression, vs a case of her ending up as as ‘no aggression dog’.

as for safety with your baby and kids… that is difficult, worst with younger kids… its harder to restrict their boundaries and actions to ensure they do not come in harms way and you cannot be complacent. My friend has a golden that is a resource guarder- similar situation to yours, left nasty bites with clear puncture wounds etc, and she has kids. Her kids however were older, and knew never to intervene or ‘discipline’ and leave it to the adults to handle the behaviour. He also did not tolerate things like collar removal post walk, or paw touching, but she worked for a long time and he is now comfortable with these. grooming and general handling is left to my friend, as she knows him best, and up till now even if he gets a hold of a high value item, he still guards it but not as badly, and her kids still call for her to handle it. Babies and toddlers leave many MANY things lying around, toys, dropping food as they walk etc and present many opportunities for a resource guarder…. Their movements are erratic and can be startling to a nervous dog as well. 

it is not impossible to workaround living with a difficult dog, but at the end of the day its on your expectations as well and more often than not its a problem that can ever be fully resolved, and instead has to be carefully managed. A good trainer will help of course. If you are unable to do so, then rehoming her to a home without children, and people familiar with such behaviours might be an option you can consider.


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## green branch (Oct 24, 2020)

I think Ffcmm explains well what is ahead of you.

If you don’t have kids yet and don’t expect them in the nearest future, I would not worry about what if. At this time, it is more for you to decide if you have the time and willingness to devote yourself to working with this dog. Also, your personality might be more or less suitable for working with a problematic dog. 

I am under the impression that you don’t have much experience with dogs. If that is the case, and you want to have success with this dog, start learning from reliable sources how to raise dogs. You need to know what is normal for them, what not, how to work on behavioral issues, and so on. Think that someone gave you a tiger or lion to raise. As you don’t know anything about this, you would probably conclude that you have to learn how to raise one. For some reason people think they know how to raise a dog even if they never had one. Working with a good trainer makes sense, but at the end of the day, you will be the one to spend 24 hours with the dog and the more you know, you will be in better position to act appropriately. You will have the confidence needed to tackle issues. 

I always advocate for dogs, because I have seen how easily they can be labeled as aggressive by inexperienced owners. Has anyone told these dogs what is expected? Have they been treated fairly? I feel it is even more easy to jump to wrong conclusions in cultures that are more dog wary. No one is going to blame you if you try to find someone else to help this dog, which might be a hard task on its own as you note. But if you want to give it a try, change an attitude toward this dog. It is possible to resolve the behavioral issues you have, or be in control of them, and create a bond with this dog that you probably wish for. But that is not going to happen overnight. You will have to go slowly. 

Some things to start with, put away objects that she should not have so that you are not in a situation to have to take cotton balls from her mouth. Set her up for success. Do not give her a bone and expect she will give it back. You can teach her leave it, hold, drop, and reward her with high value food. Instead of feeding her from a bowl, you can try feeding her from hand - teaching them that they have to work for food can help. Instead of taking something she is not supposed to have call her and throw something of high value (piece of chicken, hot dog) on the floor. Similar with sensitivity to touch, set her up for success. Do not expect that you can give her weekly baths, blow drying, and nail trimming right away and all at once. Work slowly on teaching her that being touched is not bad, make a positive association - touch her paw and give a small piece of cheese and so on. It is not that on a long run you will have to feed chicken every time you want to take something out of her mouth. As you move with the training you will learn how to be assertive with a dog to stop unwanted behavior, but that is not as easy as just saying "NO" or worse yelling at them. 

I'll keep my fingers crossed.


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

green branch said:


> I think Ffcmm explains well what is ahead of you.
> 
> If you don’t have kids yet and don’t expect them in the nearest future, I would not worry about what if. At this time, it is more for you to decide if you have the time and willingness to devote yourself to working with this dog. Also, your personality might be more or less suitable for working with a problematic dog.
> 
> ...


I really appreciate your advice. In my opinion, there are still not many people in my country who can handle aggressive or biting dogs except for trainers. Also, there is no rescue for having behavior issues dogs in Korea..Moreover there are too many dogs that can't be adopted..So I and my husband think we could not let my golden go to someone else..Also, there are many shy owners with their aggressive dogs in my country. I didn't get a lot of advice and experiences from the community in my country. That's why I visit here.

As per your tip, I'll consider my golden a lion. Fortunately, my husband is used to handling dogs than me. All care for her is done by my husband. he wash my golden's feet 3 times a week and bath her once every 2 - 3 weeks. But, we never cut her nails. In fact, my golden tends to force us to touch her chest, belly, dorsal fur all day long. Then, when we touch a place she does not want to be touched(such as his feet, hip, tail...), he gives a brief warning like freezing and tries to attack immediately. I think her warning is very short. My golden seems to have learned a biting as a way to get out of a situation she doesn't like. Once she has bitten us, she looks at us with a very embarrassed expression and gait with low-faced posture (this is a subjective our opinion), and then enter her house or walks away. We also go to the trainer this weekend. Our trainer said that my golden has a timid and sensitive temperament, so if she doesn't like somethings, she panics and sometimes makes the mistake of biting us. To this, our trainer said that my golden need to have various experience(bath, nails, meet other dogs...), and we should teach her that somethings do not follow in bad things.

As your advice, I'll be patient and keep going for my golden..! Many thanks!


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## pawsnpaca (Nov 11, 2014)

It may be worth talking to your trainer about teaching your dog to be comfortable wearing a muzzle. It’s actually a skill all dogs should be taught, even if they don’t have aggression issues, as even the sweetest dog might bite when frightened or hurt. If she wears a muzzle on a regular basis, it might allow everyone to relax while she’s being trained, knowing that she can’t hurt anyone.

Here are some articles you may find interesting.








Dog Muzzles Are Useful Tools When You Use Them Right - Whole Dog Journal


Dog muzzles can be useful tools if you use them right. Here's why and how every dog should learn to love wearing a muzzle.




www.whole-dog-journal.com












Dog Muzzles: When To Use Them and How - Whole Dog Journal


Whole Dog Journal‘s mission is to provide dog guardians with in-depth information on dog food, training, behavior, health, and more.




www.whole-dog-journal.com












Training Your Dog to Comfortably Wear a Muzzle - Whole Dog Journal


Whole Dog Journal‘s mission is to provide dog guardians with in-depth information on dog food, training, behavior, health, and more.




www.whole-dog-journal.com


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

Get rid of her.


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

SRW said:


> Get rid of her.


Why do you think I should get rid of my golden? can you tell me why.


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## SRW (Dec 21, 2018)

Min-Kyung Cho said:


> Why do you think I should get rid of my golden? can you tell me why.


Because she is three years old and I think it is extremely unlikely that her behavior will change and very likely she will injure a child.



Min-Kyung Cho said:


> Since my golden was 1 year old, she used to bite her people(family) when we did somethings she didn’t like





Min-Kyung Cho said:


> More than anything else, I’m afraid my golden will harm my baby. In the future, when I have a baby





Min-Kyung Cho said:


> I'm afraid my golden will hurt my baby





Min-Kyung Cho said:


> when we touch a place she does not want to be touched(such as his feet, hip, tail...), he gives a brief warning like freezing and tries to attack immediately.


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## Rocksor (12 mo ago)

Min-Kyung Cho said:


> Also, there is no rescue for having behavior issues dogs in Korea..Moreover there are too many dogs that can't be adopted..So I and my husband think we could not let my golden go to someone else..


There are many US based rescues that have started to rescue golden retrievers from Korea. They have a companion rescue in Korea that they communicate with. One such rescue in the US is called Southern California Golden Retriever Rescue. (Southern California Golden Retriever Rescue). You could email them and ask what rescue organization they work with in Korea. Then you could call the Korean rescue and see if your dog is a fit for their rescue.


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## green branch (Oct 24, 2020)

There is no child in the house. Two grown-ups can give this dog a chance.

Kids and dogs are always a tricky combo. In some cases, it is easier to train a dog than a child. There are kids who will keep pushing buttons on the dog.

I am not sure to what extent are people aware that dogs are viewed and treated differently in western countries vs. elsewhere. There are various reasons for that. South Korea is one of the many countries that went through a big transformation during the last hundred years. Such countries went from having mostly poor farming population to population migrating to cities and aspiring to more lofty goals than primarily surviving. Farmers held dogs who had a purpose. They were in tune with animals - they held domestic animals and were surrounded by wild animals around the property. Nowadays, people in cities live in small apartments or houses with concrete yards and don't have a reason to keep dogs other than for fun. The majority of the population is scared of dogs, probably because traditionally in these countries dogs were kept to protect the property. People in cities are not in tune with animals or nature anymore. Animals they see are stray dogs, cats, and pigeons. Parents tell their kids that dogs are going to bite them. Purebreds from the West are a novelty being imported in the last 50 years or so. Their purpose is not considered. People buy them as pets based on how they look. The expectation is that these will be couch potatoes, not bark, love to be smooched, groomed, etc. They can be bought for cheap, and once something goes wrong can be kicked out. Opportunities to train the dogs and do sports do not exist. 

Maybe the main difference is that western countries are much better well-off and can provide a better quality of life to dogs.

These fine Goldens we talk about here in the US, those heart dogs or sport champions, many would soon be in line for death row elsewhere. Being tied to a chain, malnourished, no outlets for energy, no training, they would soon start to show their ugly side. So, don't rush to tell someone willing to give this dog a chance that it is not worth it. Probably, no one ever tried to teach this dog.

So, dear Min-Kyung give it a try. You are saying she likes cuddles at particular places such as the chest, yet she doesn't like her paws, rear, and tail to be touched. Yes, that is normal. You can find diagrams showing locations where dogs like to be petted, for example, https://www.rover.com/blog/how-to-pet-a-dog/.

You can teach her to accept being touched at places she doesn't like. Ideally, she should have been taught that when she was born. Now is harder. Make sure to stay safe. You could follow pawsnpaca's advice to use a muzzle. You can also try a short leash. Maybe you don't even need anything. This all depends on how severe her reaction is. You have already heard that it is a good sign that the last time she tried to bite, she withheld the bite. Some people will play with the dog by letting the dog mouth their hand and once the dog press it hard they will immediately let the dog know it was too much. I think this is more common for breeds that have more powerful bites than Goldens. It is believed that this teaches the dog bite inhibition - that whenever they put teeth on the skin they know how far is allowed.

You can try being assertive. You are not a mother yet, but think if your toddler bit you how would you react. I would expect that you would not be screaming and yelling at them, but instead, be collected and stern to show them with your attitude that this is not acceptable. It doesn't mean they will get it right immediately. They will try again. Eventually, at some point you should be able to see that they will get it - they will recognize when you mean business.

You should not only be working on the behavioral issues. Train her. This will help you. For example, when you are giving her food she should not start eating until allowed to do it. Usually, people tell "wait," put the bowl down, and then say "OK." This is not hard to teach a dog because the dog is motivated by the food, but it teaches the dog an important lesson that you are the one in charge. At the same time, the food is so attractive to the dog, but he has to withhold his desire because you are asking him to do so. I remember seeing a more advanced version of this exercise on the forum posted by SRW, where he is asking the dog to do a few sits and comes before being released to eat. Maybe SRW knows how to find this video. 

And do things with her that dogs like. Go for an off-leash walk in nature, let her roll, smell things, swim. I am not sure that you need to wash her paws that often. Over time they learn to tolerate many things, but you have to balance things and sometimes postpone unpleasant things until they are more ready to accept them.


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## Mustlovedogs123 (May 19, 2021)

Min-Kyung Cho said:


> It has been 5 months since I lived with the 3 years old golden(female). Before we brought our golden, my golden lived in my husband’s parents house(she could not enter the room and lived only in the yard). Our golden have had some problems. Since my golden was 1 year old, she used to bite her people(family) when we did somethings she didn’t like, such as taking something out of her mouth, washing her foot, touching her hip, and brushing her fur.. her aggression got worse and worse, so I and my husband ended up bringing our house(she lives indoors with us). About a month after coming to my house, when my husband was washing her paws, my golden bit my husband.. and two days later, I found something like cotton around my golden’s mouth, and reached out to removed it. Then she bit and worry my hand..my hands were injured. In fact, this time we so panicked and yelled at our golden(now we know we shouldn’t).. After that, about 4 months have passed since my golden bite me, last week, my golden was sleeping next to me and I was petting my golden’s belly..Then unconsciously..I moved her foot(paw), and suddenly my golden tried to bite my hand. But this time, for some reason, my hand just went in and out of my golden’s mouth, so my hand didn’t hurt. I wonder if I can contined to live with my golden if I have a baby. Could training make her a non-aggressive dog? Any advice from your experience or training is needed for us.. We went to training classes about 2 times, and we’re currently doing walk control training. And our golden are afraid of external stimuli and have poor sociality with other dogs.


Ours does the same thing!! Oh no how is everything going?


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## Min-Kyung Cho (10 mo ago)

Hi,
The good news is that our goldi is doing well. I and my goldi meet to the trainer once a month to train our Goldie to socialize with people and other dogs. It's been about a year since I've been training, and I'm getting better and better.
We try to give our goldi as much exercise as possible, whether by going swimming or camping with her. Ever since I was badly bitten (with blood and scar) by my Goldie last December..My goldi had me occasionally pressing? her teeth against me, when blocking, touching hands, dressing, or cleaning her. But, she only very slowly brought her teeth into my hand or tried to bite me, but she never hurt or bled me. Still we're careful when washing and handling her, and we're continuing to train her, but I think we've accomplished so much in a year. We and our Goldi got closer than I expected. We think she considers us her group. Our Goldi is very different from other friendly Goldis, but I think our Goldi will get better as time goes by.


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## green branch (Oct 24, 2020)

I am so glad to hear that you are making progress with her. Keep up with the good work!


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## Ffcmm (May 4, 2016)

Thank you for coming back to this thread and providing an update! 

It sounds like you have worked with her very well over the past few months. I’m glad that you are seeing the progress, and your bond with her is stronger than when you started. Keep at it and all the best


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