# Goodbye Boomer



## puddles everywhere (May 13, 2016)

I am so sorry to hear of Boomer's passing, such a special boy. Seizures are a horrible thing to manage and painful to watch. I also live alone and was devastated when my girl passed so totally understand the emptiness. I hope you will consider a new buddy sooner than later. I'm not one to move forward quickly but was truly surprised at how dealing with a busy puppy helped me through the grieving process. Thank you for giving Boomer such a wonder home. He will always be in your heart.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

I'm still reeling from the loss as it's only a few days ago, and love the breed so much thst I'd want another golden; but, am wary of the possibility of another epileptic dog. I can afford the expense but am terrified of going through the hopes of a solution only to move into another series of seizures. I think this site has a section devoted to epilepsy that I should likely visit. Thanks for your encouraging words.


----------



## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

I'm so sorry for your loss and understand your devastation. Kind thoughts coming your way.


----------



## Sholt (Jun 20, 2019)

I am so terribly sorry for the devastating loss of your beautiful Boomer. I commend and admire you for all that you did for him. He obviously brought so much comfort to your life despite his illness. I too hope you will be able to introduce another Golden into your life. Take care as you go through this difficult time.


----------



## CAROLINA MOM (May 12, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss of Boomer, he was beautiful and very special. 
My thoughts are with you.


----------



## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss. It's almost like losing a body part when life is mostly you and your dog. Try to keep focused on the good times you two shared.


----------



## OscarsDad (Dec 20, 2017)

My sympathies to you. Devastating to lose a member of your family.


----------



## Deborus12 (Nov 5, 2017)

I'm so sorry for what you and Boomer had to endure. My heart goes out to you.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

I feel this is a place where my loss is perceived as 'real', as opposed to others who mean well, say all the correct words, but somehow in my heart they cannot comprehend the loss of a pet as traumatic nor tragic. I bear no ill-will as their intentions all good but those of us who lost a pet, and to me, a loved one, can feel the emotions of the tragedy. Especially in the case of being a caregiver for an ostensibly healthy, loving, fun, companion so much of the time only to be overshadowed by the increasing gloom of seizures, ending in tragedy.
Thank you, all of you, as your words are comforting.


----------



## DevWind (Nov 7, 2016)

I'm so sorry. It's so devastating. Especially so young.


----------



## Ruth & Louis (Mar 25, 2018)

So sorry to hear this


----------



## eeerrrmmm1 (Apr 15, 2018)

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. You did everything that could have been done. My thoughts are with you.


----------



## swishywagga (Nov 13, 2012)

I'm so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss, would you like me to add Boomer to the rainbow Bridge list?.


----------



## Ivyacres (Jun 3, 2011)

I'm sorry you lost Boomer. Many of us understand the heartbreak when a furry family member is lost.


----------



## Rastadog (Oct 24, 2006)

Like the others here I’m am so sorry for you. You did the right thing letting Boomer leave his broken body so he can run free. It’s the toughest love of all. I’m 4 months removed from putting a 14 year old down. I can’t imagine what you both went through with his seizures. Given his young age an unexpected and difficult situation you we’re dealing with. You’re a good human. I’m sure he understood that. He’ll always be with you. Take care


----------



## Emmet and Murph (Oct 8, 2014)

I’m so sorry to hear about Boomer, I lost my main man about 7 weeks ago now and still find myself crying.
Only the other day I found myself bursting into tears whilst watching videos of him, thing is, I work as a mental health nurse and I was sitting in the car park in my uniform :/

It does get easier, yet, I don’t know if I could ever get another Golden as I would almost feel as though I’m cheating on the greatest friend I ever had. I had Murphy over 14 years, you never got that, what you did do however was provide him with love, you strived to offer him the best life you could. So, ask yourself if you would like to have lived his life, going from one seizure to another and I think you will find out how much of an asset you really were to this animal.

Give it time, I found going on the Reddit pet-loss section really helped me, it just allowed me to share my feelings with like minded individuals.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

It's almost one-week and quite honestly I'm not much better. The haunting sadness is punctuated by the terrible feeling that I could have done something more: a different combo of meds, was there something in his life that triggered the seizures, should I have sought other medical opinions. I researched epilepsy among canines for years and seems we are still in the 'really don't know', as in humans. But the real sadness is the loss of a beautiful, spirited, young, and ostensibly healthy Golden who added such joy to my life that without his companionship feel so empty. Ah well, as Augustine said, ... and accept the thing you cannot change. Thanks for all of your condolences, and while I'm not a great believer in group therapy, all of your condolences have made it a bit less gloomy.


----------



## diane0905 (Aug 20, 2010)

I am so sorry about your loss of Boomer -- and at such a young age. I know the grief is overwhelming. I lost my Luke on August 28. He had an aggressive cancer that took him in four months. He turned nine about a month before he died.

I'm sure your loss is especially deep as you have also lost your wife of so many years and you and Boomer were so close. Having lost four family members in my life, I think grief compounds over time in some ways. I know Luke felt like a therapy dog for me and calmed my soul. I felt like he was my best friend.

It's hard to believe right now, but I will say for me -- after six weeks of every day crying -- and now almost five months post -- I'm smiling some when I think of Luke. I know there will always be a way too soon and "why?" aspects for you about Boomer. I felt that way about Luke and he was nine. My daughter lost her sweet Gatsby (a retriever Border Collie mix) when he was ten months to epileptic seizures. After watching Gatsby deteriorate, I can tell you you did what was best for your sweet Boomer. I hope you will come to know that completely. Love can be extremely difficult at times. Fortunately, Goldens are worth what we give them and a bazillion times more.

Boomer was absolutely beautiful. 

I just got a new puppy -- Logan -- yesterday. He is giving us so many smiles already. Prayers you will find a new puppy to share yours (and Boomers) love with one day. Let your heart grieve.


----------



## Emmet and Murph (Oct 8, 2014)

jpalamaro said:


> It's almost one-week and quite honestly I'm not much better. The haunting sadness is punctuated by the terrible feeling that I could have done something more: a different combo of meds, was there something in his life that triggered the seizures, should I have sought other medical opinions. I researched epilepsy among canines for years and seems we are still in the 'really don't know', as in humans. But the real sadness is the loss of a beautiful, spirited, young, and ostensibly healthy Golden who added such joy to my life that without his companionship feel so empty. Ah well, as Augustine said, ... and accept the thing you cannot change. Thanks for all of your condolences, and while I'm not a great believer in group therapy, all of your condolences have made it a bit less gloomy.


If it’s any consolation, I’m currently in floods atm thinking about Murphy. 
I thought the same, “could I have helped more, could I have acted sooner.”
I replay our last few days together constantly, flip I miss him 

keep chin up my friend, cheers from Ireland.


----------



## Hudson's Fan (Dec 31, 2019)

Joy in gratitude takes a warrior mindset sometimes. To accept death is not natural....to love each day is. I have not met Boomer nor you but your words have opened my heart to both and I thank you for sharing him and yourself with me/us. I will honor Boomer and you with Joyful times each day, with gratitude that I may.....for tomorrow may not be. Thank you.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

So many delightful, caring replies. I donated many items to the primary care veterinary facility, for those less fortunate to purchase items for their dogs. To include, expensive medications, unopened, crate (Boomer had roam of house but I always left his crate up with door open. Sometimes he'd just like to get in his 'den', I suppose. I know that the heartache and pain will subside, but after one-week nothing noticeable. Of course, those of you without family and live alone the absence of your best friend is amplified as memories just keep popping up, that are joyful and sad at the same time. Didn't mean to make this a pity pot, but your warm comments and shared experiences seem to help a lot. Thank, all of you.


----------



## Erin Rizza (Jan 27, 2020)

jpalamaro said:


> I was an active participant when I first got Boomer as a 12 week old male, in March 2017. It is with deep regret that I had to euthanize Boomer after almost three years of increasingly severe bouts of epileptic seizures; which started as wincing, to quarterly grand mals, to monthly grand mals, to the finally, focal seizures . . . many short term seizures throughout the day. His medications included most, with final meds including Keppra, Pb, and gabopentin, all, to no avail. The only medication that would stop the seizures were atomized, nasal, Valium, which only lasted of short duration. He was under the care of three vets, primary care, ER, and a neurologist; no expense was spared. I finally could no longer put any hope in eliminating the seizures and concluded that they were no longer ideopathic but related to some cranial disorder, though undiagnosed as such.
> 
> I am devastated. I lost my best friend in the truest sense of the word. He was a joy, a loving, fun, carefree dog that had as good a life as I could provide, even with epilepsy. He and I lived alone in a big house, as Boomer was acquired after losing my wife of 52 years. He was also provided for in the event of my untimely death, with a younger couple that does Golden Retriever rescue, and would have kept Boomer for themselves. The picture is at a Starbucks here in Jacksonville, FL, the day before the last bout of seizures that preceded his untimely death.
> View attachment 869439


----------



## Erin Rizza (Jan 27, 2020)

jpalamaro said:


> I was an active participant when I first got Boomer as a 12 week old male, in March 2017. It is with deep regret that I had to euthanize Boomer after almost three years of increasingly severe bouts of epileptic seizures; which started as wincing, to quarterly grand mals, to monthly grand mals, to the finally, focal seizures . . . many short term seizures throughout the day. His medications included most, with final meds including Keppra, Pb, and gabopentin, all, to no avail. The only medication that would stop the seizures were atomized, nasal, Valium, which only lasted of short duration. He was under the care of three vets, primary care, ER, and a neurologist; no expense was spared. I finally could no longer put any hope in eliminating the seizures and concluded that they were no longer ideopathic but related to some cranial disorder, though undiagnosed as such.
> 
> I am devastated. I lost my best friend in the truest sense of the word. He was a joy, a loving, fun, carefree dog that had as good a life as I could provide, even with epilepsy. He and I lived alone in a big house, as Boomer was acquired after losing my wife of 52 years. He was also provided for in the event of my untimely death, with a younger couple that does Golden Retriever rescue, and would have kept Boomer for themselves. The picture is at a Starbucks here in Jacksonville, FL, the day before the last bout of seizures that preceded his untimely death.
> View attachment 869439


What a beautiful boy. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. This is the first story I read here on this site. He looks so happy here.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

As a testimony to the breed, I'm not sure I could ever own anything but a Golden. Or, perhaps I was fortunate to have almost three wonderful years of companionship, joy, laughter, and of course pain. I ponder the future with uncertainty and worry about epilepsy within the breed. But, for the time being I'm still wrapped up in so much grief that it'd not be fair as I'd worry I'm trying to bring back Boomer. I appreciate your warm comments, and yes, that picture of Boomer (among many) indeed shows what a happy dog he was; and while all I've read and be told that dog is not aware, well, not sure I believe it . . . Sorry your joining this great site brought you to this thread.


----------



## farouche (Jul 26, 2018)

Boomer was lucky to have you. You clearly did everything right, even down to having a plan for Boomer if you were no longer there. 

We waited 5 years after losing our beloved Thor before we got another dog. I just couldn't bear to "replace" him. (We now have a wonderful 13 month old golden named Loki.) So don't you hurry -- take the grieving time you need. I will say though, that (except for how much I love Loki whom I would not have if we'd gotten a dog sooner) we waited too long. I regret the five years without a dog. I wouldn't have waited quite that long in retrospect. So take your time but don't take too much time. Life is short.


----------



## Sirfoulhook (Dec 2, 2011)

I went though an almost identical situation as you did. My boy was named Buddy. Started having seizures at 18 months and he fought it for two years until it became too much for him. Gone way too soon. My only solution was to get Boomer who is three now and fine. I feel you. Every time Boomer jumps on his bed and starts writhing around I look over. (He just loves to scratch his back). Leaps of faith are sometimes the hardest. Buddy is never far from my thoughts but he lives on in my memories. God bless you


----------



## Mde13004 (Feb 20, 2019)

I am so sorry for your loss. You can at least rest easy knowing that you did everything in your power to give him the best chance at life. Other dogs are not so lucky to be as loved as Boomer was. While no one can take away the pain, I hope you find comfort in knowing that the amazing members of this forum are here to listen and do our best to console you in such a difficult time. It is always nice to have a community that understands how important our Goldens are to us. They are certainly not just a pet, they are loyal family members that love unconditionally and share a bond with us like no other and I'm sure thats what you had in Boomer. Sending lots of love and prayers your way ?


----------



## Loriaaa (Jul 14, 2018)

I am so very sorry for what you are going through right now. We lost our beautiful 2.5 year old golden, Piper, last May to idiopathic seizures. Like you we finally came to the conclusion that there were undiagnosed issues and she passed after a reaction to Zonisimide. It is the most heartbreaking feeling to know that no matter what you do you can’t help them, just be there for them during and after the seizures. Your Boomer was loved and there is no doubt in my mind that he knew that and loved you equally in return. Perhaps Boomer was meant to be yours due to your capacity to care for and love him no matter what. The care that dogs with seizures require is immense and takes a very special person. How lucky Boomer was that his person was you.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

This thread has buoyed my spirits in the simple fact that I know I'm not alone. Most non-dogowners just don't ever see the relationship an owner has with their dog. Boomer was gentle, smart, sometimes naughty, but loving. He'd jump on my lap, at least front paws, all 90+ lbs of him. Those of you that are aware and have experienced seizures know or can imagine the horror; but, there's also the aftermath of oftentimes cleanup, area and dog. and the total fatigue the poor creature exhibits. Nuff said there, but thank all of you for your beautiful replies, and I'm sure I won't wait too, too long but Boomer is so current in my heart that I'm almost paralyzed with his loss and inability to even think of another dog. I view his hundreds of pix and videos, likely not too healthy, but then again, brings joy and tears.


----------



## Jerseyroe (Dec 21, 2019)

jpalamaro said:


> I'm still reeling from the loss as it's only a few days ago, and love the breed so much thst I'd want another golden; but, am wary of the possibility of another epileptic dog. I can afford the expense but am terrified of going through the hopes of a solution only to move into another series of seizures. I think this site has a section devoted to epilepsy that I should likely visit. Thanks for your encouraging words.


I am so sorry for your loss I lost my beautiful Dannyboy a few months ago. And he and I also lived alone. I spent thousands of dollars to save him but the lymphoma resurfaced. However I know I will adopt another Golden the joy they bring is worth the pain of losing them. Good luck


----------



## sophieanne (Feb 4, 2014)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Boomer; I know how horrible it is to lose such a young boy. Keep your good memories close and be kind to yourself; it takes time to work though this. I'm sending positive thoughts your way.


----------



## Helo's Mom (Oct 16, 2011)

I am so very sorry for your loss. My Helo suffered from seizures also but he passed away from hemangio 2 years ago. I miss him so much and still tear up when I think about him. It's so painful to lose such special, loving family members. I live alone and haven't felt able to find another golden to bring into my home since I still work full time and don't feel it would be fair to him to be alone that much. Retirement is on the horizon though, and I plan to find another best friend when I can give them more. You did everything you could for Boomer. As SophieAnne said, be kind to yourself.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

I'm still active in my business but have a great team to run the company, so, as long as I have a smart phone and a computer, I can go/be anywhere. Boomer and I were inseparable . . . and he and I shared the joy of nothing competing for my time with him. Which of course made it all the more difficult. I keep pondering another Golden but somehow can't seem to separate the memory of Boomer from the future of another. I'm guessing that I'll know, but even after almost two weeks I'm checking times for meds, feeding, walking, playing etc. Ah well, thanks for the kind words.


----------



## Emmet and Murph (Oct 8, 2014)

I know what you mean. 


jpalamaro said:


> I'm still active in my business but have a great team to run the company, so, as long as I have a smart phone and a computer, I can go/be anywhere. Boomer and I were inseparable . . . and he and I shared the joy of nothing competing for my time with him. Which of course made it all the more difficult. I keep pondering another Golden but somehow can't seem to separate the memory of Boomer from the future of another. I'm guessing that I'll know, but even after almost two weeks I'm checking times for meds, feeding, walking, playing etc. Ah well, thanks for the kind words.


I know what you mean, I would love another Golden but think to myself, “am I just trying to replace Murphy when he is irreplaceable?”

I also worry that Goldens are plagued with cancer, Murphy got 14 short years but was very lucky to get these. I don’t know what to do, I miss the partnership and having someone around on my days off, I don’t surround myself with friends out of choice, he was my bestie!


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

I'm not by any means any kind of a Golden Retriever expert, and missing Boomer continues to dominate my thoughts. I fell in love with the breed probably by pictures and Goldens seem to be the predominant dog featured in much dog advertising. Surely I'm not alone. I also, without knowing it, seemed to notice some Goldens looked very different from others . . .the shape of the head. I selected Boomer as a pup based upon looks (price) but was not an informed buyer. I may have read somewhere, not sure, about British strains have a 'blockier' head, etc. The look I favored. As I ponder the future, and my longevity (am healthy and very active) I likely will pre-decease a dog, but still have provisions for its future in place. Some acquaintances who allege to be into dogs, and I have no basis for believing nor disbelieving (altho' on of Boomer's vet implied what follows) that American breeders, unlike ? European breeders border upon incestuous relationships to generate more puppies. And, again, as I ponder the future and one of the comments a respondent made that he/she waited five years before getting another Golden, and was robbed of the five years with a 'best friend again', well, this weighs heavily on my mind.
So, first question, here's a profile view of Boomer, is he of some 'British/European' ancestrry so that should I pursue another Golden, I know what to ask for? I hope I have not offended anyone with this question?


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

Emmet and Murph said:


> I’m so sorry to hear about Boomer, I lost my main man about 7 weeks ago now and still find myself crying.
> Only the other day I found myself bursting into tears whilst watching videos of him, thing is, I work as a mental health nurse and I was sitting in the car park in my uniform :/
> 
> It does get easier, yet, I don’t know if I could ever get another Golden as I would almost feel as though I’m cheating on the greatest friend I ever had. I had Murphy over 14 years, you never got that, what you did do however was provide him with love, you strived to offer him the best life you could. So, ask yourself if you would like to have lived his life, going from one seizure to another and I think you will find out how much of an asset you really were to this animal.
> ...


Your wrote, 'I don't know if I could get another Golden' hit home and it's been stuck in the back of my mind. I love the breed, and will eventually get another dog and wondered if I should look outside the Golden arena. Don't laugh, there's an Akita rescue locally and have learned a lot about Akitas (have not met one yet) and what I have read leads me to believe that they are a true challenge to train, can be problematic with socializing (people and other dogs) and their personality so different from a Golden. Got me thinking, well, at least I'm not trying to replace with another 'Boomer', and certainly an adult dog that's somewhat of a known entity might be ok as far as dog medical problems, and the training could be a hmmmm fun endeavor, albeit a true challenge, maybe I'll go and look at the rescue operation? Maybe not, just thinking but wanted to let you know your comments affected me. Thanks


----------



## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

I get what you are saying. I've been at the "no more Goldens it's too painful to lose them" stage before. For me personally though I'm in that camp that says if it's not a Golden Retriever, it's just a dog. When my Tawny died we had a Bichon but after 4 years I could not stand being without a Golden Retriever and getting Rukie made my world right again. You just have to know what will be best for you. I wish you comfort and peace.


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

Comfort and peace not likely soon, and your words echo in my mind constantly, ...it's just a dog, not a Golden.


----------



## cwag (Apr 25, 2017)

Maybe you could get a shred of hope from this thread. It's my all-time favorite.








More than one heart dog?


Here's a question for those who have had many dogs. Once you have had a special heart dog, have you ever loved another one that much? I haven't and I wonder if I ever will or if the pain of losing her causes me to hold back just a little bit.




www.goldenretrieverforum.com


----------



## jpalamaro (Apr 1, 2017)

cwag said:


> Maybe you could get a shred of hope from this thread. It's my all-time favorite.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I read many of the replies and they just seemed to make me focus more and more on what I should not be focusing, that is, the loss and love I have for Boomer. I will eventually get another dog and will likely love him/her as much as Boomer, but just can't seem to shake the palpable loss right now. Sorry for the downer attitude, but, seems wherever I go in my house, whether a tuft of hair that was missed by the vacuum, or, a toy that was buried under a piece of furniture, the memories painfully linger. Ugh, LOL, I can't even stand myself whining away LOL. And while the replies and posts are joyfully received, they are a grim reminder of the happiness I shared for three years. I'm likely going to post something in the general forum for reputable breeders and start the process, just to see if I could even think of making the trip towards a new dog. Thank you for the thread recommendation, it's heartwarming and heartbreaking as well.


----------

