# Breeders--on my mind



## HenryandOliver (Aug 15, 2013)

Hi Everyone,

My computer crashed so I haven't been on for a week or more. I had posted about losing my Oliver at 5 years old to cancer on 6/25. The last 3 weeks have had lots of ups and downs. I'm feeling quite down at times still and thinking of him constantly. I have woken up from many dreams of him too so it's on my mind even when I sleep. I keep coming back to questioning...why? I have read it can be environmental and I know there are studies being done but I keep going through my mind of everything we thought we did right. 

The first was choosing a quality breeder. Our previous golden boy came from same breeder and died 1 month short of turning 13. I see so many posts about puppy mills and you get what you pay for in health issues, vet visits, etc. Oliver was $2,000. We asked to pick him up a couple weeks after what the breeder suggested so that he could have more time with his mom. We waited until 18 months to have him neutered. We fed him high quality food and kept him at a healthy weight. He went on multiple walks each day. We used an organic yard company to keep any chemicals out of our yard. We used non-toxic cleaners for indoors. The list goes on and on about how conscientious we were about keeping him safe and healthy because we were aware of the increase in cancer in goldens. We really thought this would never happen to our healthy puppy.

I'm not sure what my point is exactly. I'm just crushed. Maybe this is part of the grieving cycle. I also wanted to make others aware that this cancer is happening even to puppies coming from reputable breeders and at such a young age. My life feels like there is a huge void without a golden baby in our home. Honestly, I'm too scared to get another because I don't feel like there is a safe choice anymore. 

Anyone else have thoughts on this?


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## mylissyk (Feb 25, 2007)

I'm so sorry. It's so understandable to ask why. I wish we had an answer. I think it is part of the grieving. The loss is real. 

I can't help you feel better, but I can tell you I know what you are going through.


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## Brave (Oct 26, 2012)

I'm not a breeder but I greatly sympathize with you. We lost Bear at 1 month shy of his 5th birthday to cancer. He was a golden mix from rescue. So cancer is enemy #1 when I went looking for our next puppy. I talked in length with our breeder re: cancer. There are some cancers that seem to have a genetic factor but until it's isolated we will not have a testing device to screen dogs more susceptible (like that test for breast cancer in humans, if you know what I'm talking about). 

We talked about what steps she takes to try to minimize risk (in her opinion). And it made sense to me. 

I think at the end of the day, cancer will get us regardless. Maybe not now, not this dog, but it's this threat that just lurks around us. I think a part of grieving is the blame. You want to blame someone or something. I blamed myself. "If only I had caught it sooner... if only I had paid better attention..."

You're still in the very early stages of grief. There is a lot of anger, I remember, in those first few months. You want answers. You want this to not be real. You want your normal back. And gosh darn it whose fault is it that you're here right now?

These are all thoughts I had. There was so much anger. My FB memories surrounding his death have been nothing but angry rants and emotional tirades. 

I'm very sorry for your loss. I know that my words carry little weight. But I am so sorry.


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## NothingbutGold (Apr 2, 2017)

You sound like you are definitely grieving. I recently met a breeder who put things in perspective for me. We only have so much control over the fate of our pups. It sounds like you did everything right for your pup but their time had come. My pups have averaged about 11 years. I considered not getting another after my last because their life is so short. However, the joy they bring me in their short lives, lives on in me for a lifetime.


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## HenryandOliver (Aug 15, 2013)

Brave,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I'm blaming myself with similar thoughts as yours. I have been on K9data.com and it appears that Oliver's lineage was great with the exception of a great-grandparent who died at the age of 9 to cancer. It is possible that the info isn't current. I haven't shared Oliver's death with the breeder yet. I'm trying to work through my emotions and I'm still having a hard time accepting the reality that he is gone. I really appreciate your words. I'm sorry to hear about your Bear as well. This forum has been a lifesaver for me.


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## HenryandOliver (Aug 15, 2013)

Thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot and definitely helps me keep things in perspective. I miss my boy so much. Thanks for listening.


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## jdavisryan (Jan 28, 2018)

Let me first offer my most sincere sympathies for his loss. He was clearly a chersished member of your family, and received the very best of care. How fortunate he was to have a such loving home, and I'm sure he was the happiest of dogs in his short life. I sincerely hope that you're not blaming yourself for this heartbreaking outcome. I work in pediatrics and witness the unspeakable tragedy of childhood cancer, and struggle to help these families with the devastating loss of a child. Sometimes there just are no answers that can adequately explain why these tragic losses occur. You did all the right things and gave your dog a wonderful life. I hope in time you'll find some peace with this sadness and be able to smile when you think of Oliver.


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## Prism Goldens (May 27, 2011)

Sometimes, no matter what we do right, wrong happens. 
It's a testament to his place in your home that you are so devastated, and you have to know you were his bright light, too. 
Your next pup won't take his place, but you will love him all the better because you loved Oliver last. 
I am so sorry.


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## my4goldens (Jan 21, 2009)

I absolutely know what you are going thru. We lost our six year old in March, suddenly, while we were on vacation and he was being boarded. We are guessing it was a cardiac hemangiosarcoma, all the symptoms pointed to that. We were devastated, still are, actually and at times I feel some anger. He had just been to the vets two weeks before, checked out fine, blood work was perfect. And I also feel a lot of guilt because we weren't with him when he died, I felt then and still do feel I failed him in some ways. Like you, we tried to do everything right, he was from the same breeder I had gotten two of my other goldens from. Lost one of those at 11 and one at 14 1/2, so no regrets with either one. I've come to think of it as almost a crap shoot, you do your research, get the best puppy you can, raise them the best you can, love then, cherish then, and keep your fingers crossed. I am so sorry you lost your dog, it does get a little easier as time goes on. Hugs.


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## Megora (Jun 7, 2010)

I try not to think about the environmental causes of cancer. 

A lot of us assume it's something that we personally cause by choice of food, fertilizer, etc. And if that is the case, that means we can completely control those types of cancer triggers in our dog's life.

But some places it's in the soil and ground water if you have a well.... 

And city water is scary.

And even if you buy bottled water - it's coming in plastic containers.

You can get really neurotic and crazy. 

That's not even getting to the dog food stuff. 

Or bugs or diseases which trigger cancer.....

My oldest sister right now is uber neurotic with her collie puppy. We were all walking the dogs in hot weather. I kept walking my guys on the grass and through any sprinkler run off because I just think it's important to keep them cool and my older dog has a funky toe (broken toenail, possibly more going on but xrays scheduled next week). My sister was going nuts talking about the chemicals that went into those lawns that the sprinkler water's running off of.... which is a good point, but for me I'd rather my dogs get their feet wet and keep cool?

You just do the best you can.

Really sorry about the early loss of your golden. We've all been there. They all should really live at least 11-12 years. I know it hits the breeders just as hard, especially if they have an "epidemic" of young deaths happening. <= This happened to a breeder I know of who was practically closing up shop and quitting breeding over it all. You have breeders working hard and spending more on who they breed to - because they are breeding for longevity. And when they still have young deaths occur, it really stings.


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## Siladhiel (Aug 3, 2018)

HenryandOliver said:


> Honestly, I'm too scared to get another because I don't feel like there is a safe choice anymore.


I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I just lost my beautiful Asgard, he got internal bleeding from hemangiosarcoma and the x-ray showed advanced metastases in his lungs. 

I would love to get another golden, but I too am scared of doing so, Asgard was so precious and his loss hurts terribly. 

I wish you all the best - Oliver lives in your heart forever!


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## Maggie'sVoice (Apr 4, 2018)

Gordana Nichols said:


> I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I just lost my beautiful Asgard, he got internal bleeding from hemangiosarcoma and the x-ray showed advanced metastases in his lungs.
> 
> I would love to get another golden, but I too am scared of doing so, Asgard was so precious and his loss hurts terribly.
> 
> I wish you all the best - Oliver lives in your heart forever!



Very Sorry to hear of your loss. it's always hard to loose one no matter if it's early or after a long life but I could never not have a golden in my life. I lost Kira July31st of 2017, also feeling like you are, and by september the house was just too quiet and in December I got Maggie. When you'e a dog person you just have to have a dog and there is nothing to ever compare to a Golden in one's life. I would never be scared to get a dog on fear of losing them because of the many years they give us joy! You go into it knowing the deal and just enjoy the time you have with them.


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## HenryandOliver (Aug 15, 2013)

Siladhiel said:


> I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I just lost my beautiful Asgard, he got internal bleeding from hemangiosarcoma and the x-ray showed advanced metastases in his lungs.
> 
> I would love to get another golden, but I too am scared of doing so, Asgard was so precious and his loss hurts terribly.
> 
> I wish you all the best - Oliver lives in your heart forever!


I'm very sorry for your loss as well. I'm pretty sure the last day we had Oliver, he had internal bleeding too. It is heartbreaking. For me, I feel a huge void but not quite ready to think about getting another one. I cannot imagine life without a golden but not sure I could enjoy without always wondering if the same thing will happen.


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## HenryandOliver (Aug 15, 2013)

Maggie'sVoice said:


> Very Sorry to hear of your loss. it's always hard to loose one no matter if it's early or after a long life but I could never not have a golden in my life. I lost Kira July31st of 2017, also feeling like you are, and by september the house was just too quiet and in December I got Maggie. When you'e a dog person you just have to have a dog and there is nothing to ever compare to a Golden in one's life. I would never be scared to get a dog on fear of losing them because of the many years they give us joy! You go into it knowing the deal and just enjoy the time you have with them.


Hi Eric,

I feel the same but it's too early for me as we just lost Oliver 6/25. My first golden lived until 1 month shy of 13. Losing Oliver at 5 was definitely much harder. It's a different experience that makes you question a lot. You are much stronger than me! Maybe in a few months I will fee differently but for now I'm grieving and I look for a glimpse of Oliver in every golden I see.


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## ceegee (Mar 26, 2015)

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my last Golden, a dog of a lifetime, at age 8, to cardiac hemangiosarcoma. It's been three years now, and it's still hard. I haven't yet been able to look at the box containing her ashes. The could-haves, should-haves, would-haves never go away, I think. You just learn to live with them.



I thought for a while that I wouldn't get another dog. Breeders contacted me to tell me about available pups or forthcoming litters. I contacted a couple of breeders myself. But when the time came to say "yes" to a pup, I couldn't do it. Then my previous dog's breeder contacted me and said: Why not get a male instead of a female? I'd never even considered it - all my previous dogs had been females. But it turned out to be the thing that made it possible for me to say "yes". No comparisons with my wonderful previous dog. Something different - a new adventure.


My current dog, Duster, came to me two and a half years ago. He's a sweetheart. A very earnest, thoughtful dog, the opposite of the wild child I lost. He's exactly what I needed. No, he hasn't replaced Ruby. But he's leaving his own pawprints in my heart, alongside hers. I hope his road will be longer than hers. 



There are no guarantees, though. Before I said "yes", I did my research. His pedigree is full of dogs that lived well into their teens. Last year, his paternal grandmother and three of her littermates competed in a team obedience trial at age 13. His maternal grandmother is still competing in obedience too, in her teens. But a few months after Duster came home, his sire - one of North America's top agility dogs - died suddenly of lymphoma, at age 5.


It is what it is. I've learned to live with it. Duster and I will enjoy our adventure, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that, this time, I'll have the joy of caring for an old dog instead of burying a young one. Regardless, I'll love him for the time we have. 



Grief is a strange beast, but it eventually settles into a form that you can pack up and carry with you. When that happens, I hope you'll consider another dog. They bring such joy.


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## dlmrun2002 (Mar 4, 2011)

I'm so sorry you had to loose your Oliver way to young. You did everything you could to give him a healthy life and even though you feel maybe you could've done more....well that is just a normal emotion to have when grieving. You went above and beyond what most others do trying to protect Oliver from the big "C". But the Big "C" doesn't discriminate against Goldens and it is just a helpless disease sometimes. I too feel I want to do better in caring and protecting my next Golden from cancer when I get another Golden but 2 years after loosing my Skye, I'm still snake bitten. Your punch list of safety steps taken was a copy of what I did for my Skye but that didn't stop the big "C" from getting her. And it seems everyday coming to this forum the beat doesn't change. Another sad story about cancer taking a Golden way to early. Even 10 years is too young I think sometimes. I'm not accepting it. Even though there is more survivorship with cancer today, there is way more cancer in dogs..and humans too then ever before. So we are actually loosing the battle against cancer it seems. In the 70's the average Golden was living past 12 years. Today that number is 10 years and change ( 10.8 I think). After I lost Skye I went to a Golden Confirmation show out on Long Island to meet some golden breeders. It was great experience for me to get to chat with breeders, make some contacts. But it irked me when one well established breeder (who Judges Golden confirmation too) asked me how old my Skye was when she passed and I told her 2 months shy of 10 years. The breeder said' Oh she had a pretty long run". I am not bashing breeders by any stretch ( I know that doesn't work well here) but the point is 10 years really isn't long enough either. These dogs should be living longer. I am a believer though. I keep hoping for better and longer living days for a beautiful breed. 
Sorry for my rant. It's just my small , self deprecating meaningless opinion.
Godpseed to your Oliver

dlm ny country•••••••••hoping


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